#AND NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT IM LIKE... 'OH NO WHAT WILL I DO IF I ADMIT IT WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MY REPUTATION!! ILL BE CRINGE!!' and like.

[maelstromdeparture]

oh boy do i have opinions on this

do i think homeschool should not be allowed at all absolutely not do i think it should have real regulations and requirements to be met absolutely

i was homeschooled it was great for me because my parents (who are very religious and would have been exactly the same if i was in public school) were extremely focused on the education aspect

they picked this because the education in my state is bad. really really bad. second worst in the country kind of bad. and education is important to both my parents and there wasn't money for private school (which weren't better than the public ones anyway)

but my parents were also very very concerned that this decision would mean their kids weren't socialized. my siblings and i were in soooo many extra curricular activities to combat this concern

also once i was old enough to understand (like 10) my parents gave me the option every year to go to public school instead of

but i also walked out of so many homeschool groups in middle school and high school for the cultish reasons they sucked i wanted nothing to do with that

and i knew 14 year olds who couldn't fucking read

so i liked being homeschooled it was good for me and i think people should have that option for their kids because there are good reasons to do it that do exist (even in states with better education but you'd have to ask someone else about it lol)

and honestly some of the cult argument is an issue in general about how our country handles kids in abusive or bad situations and is just as much a CPS kind of government issue as it is a homeschooling one (i know a significant amount of people in the same/similar style cult that we're not homeschooled)

i have cousins on both sides of the family who were/are a very fundamentalist cult kind of family (one that was exactly the one being talked about and one that's basically the same) only one of those families is still part of that and it's the family whose kids were all public schooled not the one that homeschooled all their kids

but it should have real regulations and requirements it is a big problem that it doesn't have regulations and requirements in so many states and that no one is checking what is in some of these curriculums and something absolutely should be done

(added context for anyone that sees this and doesn't know me im now a pretty liberal, short haired, multiple piercing having, feminist, civil rights supporting woman who is currently in law school and in about two years will be the first attorney in my family after i graduate and take the BAR)

Anyway enough lame gifted kid discourse we are in our 20s. Let's talk about how homeschooling in america should be fucking illegal it's insane lol

[mattsnight]

Hide it - Matt Sturniolo

Summary: in which Matt hides his feelings for you, but eventually can’t take it anymore.

Warnings: fluff, cursing,

A/N:

Matt couldn’t hide it any longer. He couldn’t hide his love for you. His feelings were hard to control when you were around. It was sickening. He didn’t say anything about it, because he didn’t want to hurt you or ruin the friendship you guys have. It was too important for, but he also couldn’t stuff his feelings away any longer. He was in love with you and that was a problem.

Every time you hang out with Nick Matt’s in the room. He’s always staring at you, but when you turn to look at him he quickly turns away. You didn’t think much of it, until things changed. Matt started acting weird. He was always stuttering around you and didn’t have proper conversations with you.

You had come to the triplets’ house to make some pictures with Nick. The house was mostly quiet, only soft sounds were heard from Matt’s room. He was most likely playing fortnight. You sat down on the couch, waiting for Nick to return from his room.

“Oh hey y/n..” you suddenly hear a voice say. You look at the figure, it’s Matt. A small smile forms on your face as you wave at him. He freezes at your smile, regretting his decision of coming out of his room. He was already getting nervous at the fact of his crush being infront of him. Suddenly a wave of confidence washes over him. It was now or never. “Y/N i can’t do this anymore.” He says, swallowing.

“Can’t do what?” You ask, looking at him in confusion.

“I-“ he runs his hand through his hair. There’s a moment of silence. He doesn’t know what to say. He can’t just say ‘hey im in love with you! Can we make out?’ can he? Another deep breath leaves his mouth as he tries to get himself together. “Fucking hell..” He holds his breath as he looks into your eyes to see any kind of reaction. “Can’t you see how obsessed i am with you?” A surprised sound leaves your mouth. You don’t say anything for a while, surprised by his confession.

“Jesus Y/N, say something please.” He begs. His nervousness gets worse within seconds. Did you hate him now? “I- you like me?” You ask. Realization hits you hard. He actually likes you. Your mind goes blank at the thought, all your thoughts vanishing. He slides both his hands into his pockets, hiding how badly he’s sweating.

“Yes Y/N and im tired of you not noticing! I tried everything to make you look at me, yet it’s not working.” He groans mentally, blaming himself for raising his voice at you. “Sorry… i-“ he starts, but gets cut off when you slam your lips against his. This kiss was everything he needed. Everything he needed to know you had the same feeling about him and it was amazing. It wasn’t passionate, just full of love and desperation.

Your hands slide into his hair, gently pulling at it to get closer. His hands go down your sides, gripping you tightly. You slowly start backing up into a wall, which he does too. Then he pulls back to get some air. You look up into his blue eyes, smiling. He smiles back almost immediately, wiping your hair out of your face. “That was..” he chuckles, still a hit breathless. “So fuckin’ amazing.”

Suddenly you hear a laugh behind you. You turn around to see Nick standing there. He had watched the whole scene and was laughing by it. Matt rolls his eyes, before looking away. “Took you long enough, kid. Will you stop bothering me now you’ve kissed the girl?” Nick smiles, before looking at you. “He wouldn’t stop talking about you. Seriously. It was so tiring.”

A small smile forms on your face. You look at Matt who’s now filled up with embarrassment. “I’ll leave you guys alone. Let’s do the pictures another time, alright?” Nick suggests. You nod, knowing you need time to let this sink in and spend some time with Matt.

This was gonna be great.

no nut november fic 3! I hope yall like this💞 (also i wont be posting as much since i need to learn for assignments and stuff</3)

[faunandfloraas]

Lee know becoming Guy Who Eats Boring Chicken Breast for The Protein ™️ is my villain origin story

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, I recently went into the x-men and I found my own dead with Charles and Erik AND I NEED READ MORE OF THEM BUT I SO LOST AFTER POWERS AND HOUSE OF X SO I DON'T KNOW WHERE CONTINUE, can u help me?

(alsoIlikeyoursdrawingsiwishbeingsoconstantwithmycontentlikeu)

i'll be very candid with you my friend: i'm totally lost too !!!!!!! your comic-reading journey is about as green as mine and so i cant personally give you a super great guide- but beautiful people on the internet exist who've done most of the dirty work for us when sorting through the stories you 'should' read so i'm borrowing them to help us both

you can read this article to read about one person's advice with exploring krakoa and- in their opinion- its most 'significant' stories, though to summarize the issues they recommend looking into:

House of X/Powers of X (which you should have already done)

X of Swords event

Hellfire Gala

Inferno

X Lives and X Deaths of Wolverine

Second Hellfire Gala

Third Hellfire Gala

Fall of the House of X/Rise of the Powers of X (also should have already done, however...) +Single issue: X-Men (2021 series) #35 aka Uncanny X-Men #700 is featured at the end of the FoX omnibus, though the omnibus excludes an extra bit at the end involving a cliffhanger for Charles's fate after he's arrested

if you want to dig a little deeper though, you can check out this article from another individual which includes another wave of 'relevant' (word used loosely as some can be considered more poignant than others) krakoa stories and stories related to it or set during the period.

it's a lot longer and more in depth than the last article, so again i only really rec peaking at this one depending on how deep you wanna go, or if you decide you want to explore more after reading the more 'key' stories. def wouldn't hurt to give it a glance just in case you read some summaries that pique your interest!

all in all, don't take these as concrete rules or guides to follow: comics are meant to be fun, these are just good starting points if you're feeling lost or overwhelmed. at the end of the day, you decide ultimately what you want to read and which stories interest you the most

happy reading !

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about how when Logan looks at Wade in different senerios he gets different feelings but then SOMETIMES he gets slapped in the face and overwhelmed with emotions.

Wade could be all dolled up in a short little red dress, their wig on and tall heels, giggling and everything, and Logan would be

"Hmm.. pretty"

Logan can see him in his suit, lifting up a guy and slamming his skull into the ground like john cena. "Hmm.. hot."

But- BUUT

The MOMENT

And I mean the SECOND he sees Wade curled up on the couch, eating ramen noodles (because its the only safe food he can keep down right now), a trash can full of vomit next to him, litsening to him yapping about the gilmore girls plot with puppins sleeping at his feet, that are tucked up into the couch and SUDDENLY-

"HMM!? 💓💗💖💝💘💞💫✨️♥️🫀💥💢‼️⁉️"

Logan is staring at him like he hasn't been fed. His heart is pounding so hard that he dosn't even realize that he's heaving, staring like he's going to eat him.

"Uhhh... you want a bite?" He asks, offering him a bite of noodles.

Only for Logan to practically pounce on him, pull him into his lap, and hold him there, starting to growl lowly with such predatory eyes.

"I- Wolvie! What's gotten into you? Haha! Oh yeah? So this is how you're going to be?"

"Gggrr.."

"Aye don't growl at me mister. Im not the one suddenly being all possesive."

"Hmph.."

I can see him not letting wade leave the bed when he's too sick, not caring what he has to do, putting his nails into his arm as he pulls him back into the matress, holding him like a koala, growling at him louder each time he protests or squirms. Sometimes, he bites the back of his neck and growls in a quiet purr until Wade finally gets the hint to just give up and take a nap.

It's not unheard of for logan to take wades phone when it rings, tell who ever it is to fuck off, put it on silent and slide it under the bed either. (This ussually results in whining and logan kissing wade until hes not upset anymore, because obviously thats the correct way to soothe a fussy cancer patiant right?? Maybe)

[little-wawita]

Im back <3. First of all

and

And the tags in cuestion of course

Now.

VLAD YOU´RE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE. Guy thinks that just because he (nearly) flawlessly hid his lab he wouldn't be discovered? Tell me you've never met a bat without telling me you've never met a bat. Keeping all his incriminating stuff togheter is probably the dumbest thing he's done but Vlad isn't known for being as smart as he thinks.

Also the image of his sorry ass waking up in the middle of the night hearing the-baby-that-refuses-to-be-his-baby chirping for family? baby want family?? but not you, asshole, he's playing with your feelings, go back to sleep (his ass is not sleeping, don't believe what he says, he's a liar who lies) ((he's also screaming his lungs out to the next underling he finds)).

Orphan apearing out of nowhere to help, girl how did you learn that? what do you mean with you worked in construction?? where??? Ask all you want, she's not answering, wait where did she go? whatever, you heard her boys, keep working!

Now, the kids going to the police instead of home? Awesome, everything according to plan :]. Oh, a social worker? Ok, this seems a little bit excesive but they haven't been around for many police related issues so maybe that's how they handle minors? Oh. Their parents are under investigation? The GIW are actually a bunch of humans sopremacist and aren't legal?. Ok, it's fine, they can take it.

(it's not fine, but they can take it regardless)

At least the social worker is nice.

But learning that their aunt won't take the, specially the reason why? DEVASTATING. It felt like that anyways.

I also had to google about the axolotl thing, it shouldn't have been so funny.

Also, Jazz is baby. Please let her act like the baby she is, even if we know she won't. :'((((

THE WHOLE THING JUST TO MAKE JASON RELATED TO THEM. These bitches (bats) aren't just pulling some strings and faking papers, oh no, they are completely puppetering the whole situation so the kids would end up with Jason in Gotham. He IS getting his son, thank you very much. And his son's sister. (he aint calling her daughter unless she allows him to) ((Danny is not getting the same privilege.))

NOW ABOUT THE TAGS

There are going to be so many misunderstandings when they realize WHO, specificaly, Vlad was trying to clone. And his reasons. The little badger thing is also not helping, sorry Vlad. It's also gonna generate so many awkward questions and even MORE awkward-er conversations, sorry Danny.

Jack having five siblings is literally the least surprising thing about this post. He is also the middle child but the physically bigger of all of his siblings, you CANNOT tell me he's not used to having little gremlings and bigger gramlings using him as a literal climbing post. That's why he's so strong, all of his siblings were always on top of him when they were togheter before he was disowned. Too bad there's no one to climb him now.

Anyways. Thank you so much for feeding us with this lovely addition Op, kudos, all the kudos for you <3<3. Also don't stress yourself if you dont have (or dont want) more things to add to this au AND if you do dont pressure yourself to write it quickly or whatever, we love you anyways <3.

Ghost Chirps AU Part 4

A little treat in these trying times

Part 1 & 2

Part 3

***

The first time Daniel chirps (to Vlad’s knowledge, but it’s actually the fifth, he was just out of range in the GZ all the previous time) Vlad responds immediately. 

The boy attacks him just as viciously as ever, and Vlad assumes from then on that the boy is merely taunting him, crying out for family only to go “no, not you.”

Vlad ignores it from then on. It isn’t particularly frequent anyway.

When he hears him chirping back and forth with some other ghost somewhere on the East Coast he feels his eye twitch. 

He dismisses it, however. No doubt it is one of Daniel’s little ghost allies helping him try to antagonize Vlad into showing up just to be rejected again.

Well, Vlad won’t fall for Daniel’s petty tricks. He would be Vlad’s son in time one way or another, no need to indulge the boy’s temporary sense of superiority.

It is grating when it wakes him up in the middle of the night, but he goes back to sleep quickly after.

Midday, he thinks he might have to track down Danny’s little friend for a nice long chat about Not Doing That. But that’s an issue for later.

Before “later” can arrive, Vlad finds himself taken into “temporary custody” while the police search his house.

He goes peacefully, assured that they’ll find nothing amiss, all of his ecto materials tucked neatly away in a lab that is inaccessible any way other than phasing. And wrapped in lead just in case.

He does not notice that a member of the Justice League is involved, nor would he care, certain that none could find his lab. And utterly unaware of the JLD’s existence.

Not that the JLD is needed in this case.

Despite his best efforts to change every copy of the construction crews’ blueprints both digital and physical in order to eliminate knowledge of the inaccessible room, there’s no accounting for memory.

Officer Roger worked in construction before joining the force, and it was only less than a half a year ago that Masters’ Amity home was constructed. Officer Roger still remembers the doorless, windowless box they built alongside the small mansion itself. It’s nowhere to be found on the property, so he brings it up with his superior.

Orphan questions it - nearly giving the whole team heart-attacks in the process - but a simple “I used to work in construction” seems to be enough to satisfy her curiosity.

A two hour sweep with some metal detectors finds nothing.

Then Orphan reappears from the shadows, providing another jumpscare, before pressing a hand silently to the side of her head.

The crew watches in silence as well, giving their pulses a chance to slow.

A ten-count later Orphan’s hand drops, and she strides confidently to the rear-left corner of the mansion and points at the ground.

“200 feet beneath the foundation,” she says before disappearing back into the shadows.

The crew shares a look and gets to work.

The time it takes to dig up the cube is just more time spent in a cell for Vlad, where he waits patiently, assured he’ll be released soon enough.

The lab itself would be only a minor problem - there would be fines and inspections and a heavy watch until everything was brought up to code. Questions about how he accessed it would be a larger problem.

But worst of all, in the comfort of his lab? He’s not much for hiding away incriminating documents. 

Of which there are many, given his propensity for keeping extensive records of his experiments, which include unethical cloning and what sums up to human experimentation. 

Once they find the actual facilities for the experiments in his Wisconsin home? It will all be over for him.

Being a ghost he could, of course, simply flee the cell and start anew somewhere else, with a new identity or even in a new dimension altogether - so long as he could nab Maddie and her children to bring with him.

But within his labs, he also keeps extensive records of himself.

A copy of the Plasmius Maximus.

Other ghost- and halfa-capturing restraints.

When he hears steps approaching his cell 2 days into his stay when it is clearly not a mealtime, he thinks “finally” assured that he is about to be released.

He only registers that it is Batman after he’s been hit by the Plasmius Maximus - cut off from his powers for at least the next two hours.

He has no chance to complain, as he is subsequently tranqued unconscious to be taken to a more secure location.

***

It’s an hour and half after school let out when the cops - who had taken to trying to distract Jazz and Danny with cards games and work stories while they waited - step away to answer their radios. 

When they return, they tell them that it’s “time to go.”

The siblings share a look, then shrug.

It wouldn’t be the first time the cops had to drive them home - rare though it was, there were at least 4 such occasions in their memories. It wasn’t a big deal.

They were less than enthused when the cops explained that they’d be heading to take them to the station instead of to home. Still, they chalked it up to the whole “questions about the Red Hood” thing and moved on. 

At least it meant they could dodge a home visit like Danny had wanted.

Except when they get there, they are taken to a cushy room and introduced to their social worker, a woman with a kind smile and a soothing voice who introduces herself as Bethany Scott, sits them down and explains, very gently, that their parents are currently under investigation.

To her credit, she isn’t condescending. She doesn’t try to hide away the truth; when they ask why, she tells them.

It’s a surprisingly long list of charges. Of everything on it, the violation of the meta protection acts comes as the biggest surprise.

Their parents were obsessive about ghosts, but they were also good at it. They never attack anything that doesn’t have ectoplasm.

Well, barring a few misfires.

Another surprise comes then: the Anti-Ecto Acts don’t exist. Ghosts are covered by the MPA by design, the AEA would never have gotten off of the ground in any legal capacity. It is solely a creation of the GIW, an extreme “‘real’ humans only” supremacist group that had worked at every level to pull the wool over the eyes of the small town’s citizenry so thoroughly that they’d been thought a real government agency - the imitation of which would be just one of the many charges that every member they managed to capture would be facing.

Then Mrs Scott starts talking about placement options.

Their Aunt, they are told, is not an option. 

It comes as a surprise to Danny. On quiet nights, when no ghosts showed up to interrupt him and Sam and Tucker weren’t up to distract him with a game of Doomed, his mind would sometimes wander back to that darkest of timelines.

He’d wondered how Vlad had ended up with custody. Being his godfather made him an option, but Danny would’ve wanted to go with Alicia. Will be damned, Danny would’ve plead on both knees with the judge to go with his aunt. Grieving or not, he’d have wanted as much distance between him and Vlad as possible,

He’d assumed Vlad must have done something to her or paid off the judge to rule in his favor.

To find out it was because she simply wouldn’t take him?

A part of him understands. He doesn't - Aunt Alicia is a kind person, yes, but not particularly loving or caring. When his parents brought up the subject of children with her on one of their rare visits, she described herself as having “less motherly instinct than a starving axolotl.”

Not an encouraging description after he read a book on axolotls for context. 

With their options being “Aunt in a small wood cabin in the middle of nowhere with the emotional sensitivity of a bull in a china shop” and “Rich friend of the family who would enable them to stay in contact with their friends and could hire them therapists even if he’s personally useless for helping them through the grieving process” she probably also figured marking herself down as a solid non-option would just expedite them getting the help they need (because she does care, even if she herself can’t - won’t - be there for them in that way).

He doesn’t hate her, but the knowledge burns. To know that there really was no avoiding Vlad - in that horrible future and in the now - makes him sick to his stomach.

Except-

Except before he can spiral, Mrs Scott tells them that Vlad is also not an option. Because he’s also under investigation.

A hysterical giggle bursts past his lips before he can think to stop it.

“Why?” he asks, ignoring Jazz’ disapproving grimace.

It’s less funny when they’re told that he’s under investigation under suspicion of mostly the same violations as their parents - including MPA violation, given the whole “million dollar ghost” incident and related propaganda. As the mayor especially, he should’ve known the AEA weren’t real and that the GIW were frauds and it was his responsibility to do something about them.

Depending on how he’d interacted with the group, he might be looking at aiding and abetting treason - or just outright treason - charges.

“If Aunt Alicia and Vlad both aren’t able to take us, then where are we going to go?” Jazz asks, shoving her emotions aside to deal with the matter at hand.

“Ordinarily, we would call up a few local fosters and see if one could take you in for a few days while we look into more long-term options. Worst case scenario you would have to spend a night or two in a hotel suite connected to mine while I found someone,” she answers. “But the two of you are in luck; Batman is the one who brought the case to our attention - apparently some erratic behavior from Red Hood brought them here, don’t ask, I don’t have all the details - and offered to run your parents’ DNA to check for other relatives that could take you. There was a match.”

The siblings share another look.

Both grandparents on their mother’s side had been only children and both were dead. Aunt Alicia had already said no and had no children of her own. Their father had been disowned by his family, and even if their other Aunts and Uncles would have been willing to take them in it didn’t matter, because all 5 had died in various accidents on their “hunts.”

“Apparently your uncle, Jerry Fenton, had a fling before he passed with one Ms Sheila Haywood. Their son, Jason, was thought to be the son of Willis Todd and Mrs Haywood until the DNA test today. He was raised by Willis and Mrs Catherine Todd until his subsequent adoption by Mr Bruce Wayne, and is currently living in Gotham.”

And it sounds wrong - the only thing most Fentons could love was mystery and danger - thus why only one out of six had survived. But they don’t know enough to dispute it.

Also. The involvement of another billionaire is setting off alarm bells. On the one hand: this could be a fruitloop paying someone off in order to forcibly adopt them. On the other hand, maybe Jason Todd really was a Fenton and being adopted by fruitloops was some kind of curse on the current generation.

“We contacted Mr. Todd the moment the connection was made. He has expressed an interest in taking you in, and flew out immediately to come and meet you. He arrived not five minutes ago.”

She paused and gave them a sympathetic look. 

“I understand that this is all a lot to take in. Please know that placing you with Mr. Todd is not the end of my duties; even after he takes you, I will be following you to Gotham. I’ll be looking into counselors for the both of you, and we’ll have a follow up on that topic in a maximum of a week’s time. I’ll also be doing regular home checks to ensure you’re both settling in well and that you’re being taken good care of. 

Even with what little I’ve gleaned, it is obvious that the environment you both grew up in until now was neither a safe nor a healthy one. It is my job to ensure that doesn’t happen again. If you have any concerns about your placement home now or in the future, please do not hesitate to bring them up with me. If you worry something is not “important” enough to mention, rest assured that if it bothers you in the slightest, then it’s important to me.”

She gives them each a long look.

Then she brings in Jason.

[luvergirl-866]

something like love

pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count - 4.1k

c/a - language

a/n - hi!! i am so so excited to be posting my first ever pazzi fic (and also my first post on tumblr!) she’s a cute little fake-dating rom-com for yall, and i hope you enjoy reading it as much i enjoyed writing it! updates will probably be inconsistent but im gonna do my best lol. lmk what yall think!!

“Will you go out with me?”

When Paige asks this question during their weekly lunch date, Azzi is so taken aback that she almost chokes on her Chipotle.

“Shit, you good?” Paige asks, concerned, handing Azzi a napkin to cough into.

Azzi waves her off, swallows, and croaks, “What?”

“Hm?” Paige is staring at her nonchalantly, like she didn’t just ask what Azzi heard her ask. “Oh, that. Yeah, will you?”

“I don’t—“ Azzi shakes her head. Is she being messed with? It feels a lot like she’s being messed with. “Paige, you’re my best friend.”

“Exactly.”

“I didn’t know you…had, like, feelings for me.”

“Huh? No!” Wide-eyed, Paige shakes her head violently. “No, ‘course I don’t.”

Azzi’s stomach clenches—not in the good way it sometimes does around Paige—and she thinks Paige could’ve bothered to sound less disgusted by the notion of her having feelings for Azzi. “Funny, P.”

“I’m for real.”

Azzi frowns. “Actually?” Paige nods and Azzi wrinkles her brow, confused. “So you wanna go out with me but you don’t feel…like that about me.”

“Were you even listening earlier?” Paige playfully rolls her eyes, sitting all casually in her seat with her legs spread like she has the biggest dick on campus. Azzi usually loves it when she sits like that, but now she’s too annoyed and confused to appreciate it. “I was talking about my mom.”

“Oh.” To be fair, Azzi stopped listening a while ago, when Paige was still talking about the hot electrician that fixed her leaky sink the other day. She wasn’t aware the conversation had taken a more serious tone. “Sorry, I spaced. What were you saying?”

“I was saying she and her fuckass husband invited me home for a few weeks this summer…” Paige waits, but it doesn’t ring any bells, so she sighs and continues. “They told me to bring Josh.”

Azzi scrunches her nose. “Eww, why?”

“Because…I haven’t really, like, you know…” Paige tips her head to the side, “told them we ended things.”

“Paige,” Azzi sighs.

“I know! I know. Just, I dunno.” Paige sighs, and Azzi knows she’s trying to act chill about it even though she likely laid awake last night thinking about it. “It’s hard, y’know? They’re not like my dad’s side, they’re not like your parents. You know what they did after I told them…” Paige glances surreptitiously around the restaurant, even though they’re far away from campus and not very likely to be recognized, “everything. And if I told them about Josh and they suspected something, I don’t think they’d let me see Ryan and Lauren again.” Her eyes are wide, now, and she’s doing that thing she does when she gets mad, pinching her bottom lip between her fingers.

Paige and Josh were never actually a thing, by the way. Paige doesn’t swing that way and she’s known it for a long time. But she came out to her mom over the new year, and that phone call had ended in a seething Paige at Azzi’s door, yelling and cursing while Azzi listened, and a broken one in her bed that night, crying herself to sleep while Azzi stroked her hair.

So a couple months later Paige recruited their closeted gay friend, Josh. And they became each other’s beards, pleasing her mom enough that she could stay in contact with her younger siblings. That is, until Josh found a nice boyfriend and Paige was left hanging.

Azzi tries to come up with something to say, something comforting, but she’s not sure there is anything to say.

“And I hate them for that,” Paige goes on. “But as long as Ryan and Lauren are still kids, my parents can still keep them from me. And it sucks they’re holding that over my head but there’s not a lot I can do about it.”

Azzi offers a sad little smile, letting her silence urge Paige to go on, even though she can tell it’s hard for her.

“So, anyway,” Paige sighs, sitting back in her seat, “when Josh ended it, I didn’t wanna tell them, because I knew the calls would stop coming, the support. And so whenever they asked about him, I’d be all, oh, yeah, he’s doing great, just busy. Just bullshitting my way through it.”

“And you’ve been doing this for the past two months?”

“Umm…” Paige looks down at her fingers, counting on them, then furrows her eyebrows. “Pretty much, yeah.”

“Okay…” Azzi leans forward on her elbows. “So how does your weird question come into all this?”

“Don’t say no right away,” Paige says, giving her this knowing look she hates.

Azzi narrows her eyes at her. “We’ll see.”

Paige reaches over to whack her and misses. “Lemme explain, damn. So, when they called me last night and invited me to come home with Josh, I was like, oh, shit. And I thought of ways I could handle it.”

“Uh-huh…” Azzi watches with wary eyes as Paige bends to rummage through her book bag. “Paige, tell me you’re not—”

“Let me introduce you to…” Paige keys up her laptop and then turns the screen toward Azzi with a wide smile, “Boom!”

“Oh my fucking god.” Azzi buries her head in her hands.

“No, bro, listen! It’s lowkey impressive!” Paige taps the screen. “It’s titled Game Plan for my Summer Visit to my Fuckass Parents, featuring Azzi Fudd. By Paige Bueckers.”

“Good Lord,” Azzi says, taking a peek at the PowerPoint in front of her. When has Paige ever gone to such lengths as to create a PowerPoint before? This must really be serious to her.

“So, listen carefully.” Paige taps the screen again; it changes from the title slide to one labeled ‘First (and worst) Option’. “I put the worst part because it’s true, but it’s also a lil rhyming moment.”

“Right, okay. Just keep going, please.”

“So, this is the first option that came to mind,” Paige starts, glancing down at the screen. “This is the option where I ghost my parents and refuse to come see them at all.” She taps the screen to a pros and cons slide. “As you can see, I mostly only came up with cons.”

“Yeah, because it’s a terrible idea.”

“I know. So then we have option two.” The next slide is labeled ‘Option Two (mid)’. “I put the mid part because—“

“I get it.”

Paige shoots her a look. Azzi playfully kicks her under the table. “Go on.”

“Okay.” Paige nudges Jennie’s foot with her own, but her attention is back to the laptop. “This is the scenario where I let my parents think that Josh and I are still together by telling them that I can come to Montana, but that Josh can’t. It’d be pretty easy, and as you can see here…” she clicks the screen, “there’s an even ratio of pros to cons.”

Azzi nods sagely. Sometimes, her best friend takes a while to get to the point, and Azzi learned a long time ago that waiting it out is the best way to go.

“But there is this one big con: I can’t keep lying to my parents forever. So this option is pretty much a way to procrastinate on telling them the truth. Which takes us to the last option.”

This slide is titled ‘Third Option (THE BEST)’ along with a few muscle emojis tacked to the end. A headache forms at the base of Azzi’s skull.

“This is where my awesome idea comes in.” Paige gives her a very self-satisfied smile. “Instead of Josh, I take you with me to Montana and we pretend you’re my girlfriend for two weeks. Literally a genius idea.” She leans back in her seat, nodding assuredly to herself, and Azzi can’t help but smile because she really loves this girl. Despite how bat-shit crazy she is.

“P, I don’t—“

“Hear me out.” Paige clicks to the final slide. This pros and cons list is mostly pros, and Azzi spots many love-emojis sprinkled throughout. “We pretend we’ve been dating since beginning of March. They know you’re my best friend; we’ll pretend that after Josh broke up with me, you and I bonded and fell in love or some shit. My parents won’t be happy, but I’ll already be there with you so they won’t kick me out or nothing.” Paige frowns. “Probably.”

Ok, so, Azzi absolutely hates to admit it, but this does actually make some sense. Not that she’ll ever say such a thing out loud.

“And then they’ll realize we’re totally in love and I’m happy and even if they hate gay shit they just want me to be happy, because I’m their kid.” Paige says this last part less like a fact and more like something she’s trying to convince herself of. Azzi can’t help but feel bad for her.

“Okay,” Azzi says slowly, watching Paige tuck away her laptop. “That’s your plan.”

“Yep.”

“I’m seeing a few plot holes.”

Paige waves her off. “It’ll work. No plan of mine is gonna fail, trust.”

“And why should I help you?”

Paige gives her an easy smile, and Azzi sort of hates how confident she is. “Because I’m your best friend in the whole world and you love me.”

Azzi raises an eyebrow.

“C’mon, Az. What is there to lose?”

Azzi sighs and almost says something stupid like I’m in, but this isn’t just one of those things that she can help Paige with without thinking twice. It’ll be two weeks of torture, pretending to date the girl she’s secretly in love with while being surrounded by her homophobic family, and then having to come home at the end of the two weeks and pretend she never got to experience a glimpse of what it’s like to be with Paige in the way she’s always wanted.

It sounds like hell.

Azzi sighs again, ready to say no, but when she looks up Paige is staring at her with something more vulnerable than before, open in the way she bites her lip, her arm reaching across the table like she’s wearing her heart on her sleeve and waiting for Azzi to take it.

Azzi takes her hand, instinctually, and says, “Okay.”

She is so fucking gone for this girl.

They don’t talk about it for two days after that. It’s not that they don’t get the chance, or that they don’t see each other—they go to the gym together both days—it’s just that neither of them seems to have the guts to bring it up. And why should they? It wasn’t too scary while they were having the original conversation—nothing too big or threatening or, god forbid, real—but as soon as Azzi stepped into her dorm after that lunch, she realized just how much she fucked up by saying yes to Paige’s crazy idea.

It would be an understatement to say that talking about it is the last thing Azzi wants to do at this point.

Paige, however, seems to have other plans, as she usually does. When she storms into the living room—where almost every single member of the UConn women’s basketball team is doing homework—she makes a beeline for the seat beside Azzi on the couch and whispers, “Hey.”

Nika leans up from the floor to poke Paige with her pencil. “No chit-chat, we’re working.”

Paige glares. “What, I can’t talk to my best friend?”

“Shh,” hisses Aaliyah, barely pulling her eyes from her laptop.

Paige flips her off even though Aaliyah is too immersed to notice, and then she turns her attention back to Azzi, bumping their knees together. “Can we talk later?”

Azzi pretends to be focused on studying. “Mm. About?”

“About…” Paige glances around furtively, “y’know.”

Yes, Azzi does in fact know, but she really wishes she didn’t. “What’s there to talk about?”

“Oh, I dunno,” Paige says sarcastically. “Specifics? Rules? Details? I prepared a whole new PowerPoint.”

“So that’s what you’ve been doing the past couple of days.”

“Yeah, turns out I love PowerPoint.”

Azzi finally cautions a glance up, and Paige is looking at her, completely serious. The eye contact seriously messes with her ability to make sound decisions.

“Okay,” Azzi relents. “As long as you’re quiet for the next forty minutes, we can talk.”

Paige, dutifully, doesn’t say a word for the rest of Azzi’s worktime, letting everyone study in peace. And that’s how Azzi ends up in Paige’s bedroom an hour later, perched on the edge of her bed while Paige struggles with her laptop.

“Okay, fuck this,” Paige says after extensive fiddling. “My stupid fucking PowerPoint isn’t loading. What the hell.”

Every bone in Jennie’s body wants to take this as a sign from God, the fact that this PowerPoint isn’t working, that they’re not supposed to do this. She wants to walk out of the room—and this agreement—for good. But Paige is her best friend and Azzi had always been too loyal for her own good, so she sighs and says, “How about we just talk about it? Y’know, like normal people.”

Paige frowns but closes her laptop regardless. “Okay. So.”

“So…”

“First off,” Paige says when Azzi doesn’t continue, “I just felt like I should probably say sorry for dragging you into this.” Paige scratches the back of her neck, always a little awkward when it comes to apologies. “I know it’s a lot to ask for.”

Azzi blinks, startled. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, well…” should she back out? If she were going to, now’s her chance.

Azzi looks down at a scab on her knee. “I mean, that’s okay.”

Paige shifts in her seat, the stool creaking underneath her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve had to help with one of your ridiculous plans.” Azzi goes for lighthearted but knows it falls flat under the weight of what she’s going to have to do.

“Okay.” When Azzi looks up, Paige is staring at her suspiciously. She wonders just how bad of an actress she must be for Paige, the same Paige who hasn’t yet detected Azzi’s somewhat obvious, six-years-long crush on her, to see right through her. But then she just shrugs and continues, aloof like she always is. “So then I wanted to ask you about what you think we should do about…all this.”

“…Okay?”

“I was thinking we should get into the, like. The specifics.”

Azzi rolls her eyes. “Paige, just tell me.”

Paige gnaws at her lip until it turns white and Azzi starts to worry it might bleed, but then she says, “We need a sex timeline.”

If Azzi were drinking water, she would have surely spit it out.

“A what?” she asks, sort of incredulous. Paige has said a lot of crazy things before but nothing quite like that.

“Okay, my bad, weird way to put it.” Paige grins as if all of this is funny to her. “What I mean is we need a story to tell my family, our friends. Like, why did we start dating? When was our first kiss? What’s our song? Have we, you know…gone to the penthouse and freaked it?”

Azzi throws herself back onto the bed. Paige’s bed. Which she is just now realizing is probably going to be the bed that many of these fictional events are going to take place in. “Paige.”

Paige is giggling now, which is endearing because Paige doesn’t giggle often. If only it weren’t at Azzi’s expense. “We need to figure it out, for real! People are going to ask questions.”

“People are not going to ask those kinds of questions.”

“Um, excuse me.” Paige stands and walks over until she’s at the bed, pulling Azzi’s legs off the edge playfully. “Have you met our friends? KK’s not shy with that shit.”

Azzi’s ankles instinctively go around the back of Paige’s thighs, but she’s in a certain mindset due to their current conversation and the casual gesture suddenly seems much less innocent than usual. She unwraps them, pulling her legs from Paige’s grasp as discreetly as possible. “So we’re planning on telling them we’re dating, too?”

Paige shrugs. “Yeah. You weren’t?”

“I don’t…” Azzi straightens up as Paige sits beside her, their hips touching. “We spend every day with them, P. Don’t you think it’ll be hard to keep up the act that much?”

“Yeah, probably. But that’s also why I wanna do it.” As usual, Paige sounds completely sure of herself. “We only have a couple weeks until Montana and I wanna make sure we get enough practice acting like a couple.”

Azzi still feels uneasy about the whole thing, but Paige is right—they can’t get onto a plane as best friends and get off it a convincing pair of girlfriends.

Azzi’s face heats at the term. Girlfriends. But that’s what they’ll be, isn’t it?

“I was thinking we’ll tell them next week,” Paige says. “We’ll ask them to hang out and then drop it on them that we’ve been dating since March.” Paige must recognize the look on Azzi’s face, because she puts a hand on her knee—which does absolutely nothing to help. “Is that cool with you?”

Azzi can’t say all of the things she’s thinking right now, so instead she settles for, “Yeah, no.” She pauses, her feet on Paige’s fuzzy carpet, and decides this will be the last time she lets herself doubt this.

“I think that’s perfect.”

One week later, three Saturdays from the end the school year, Azzi sits with a bowl of popcorn in her lap feeling like she might hurl.

“Why are you acting so weird, Fudd?” KK asks, and Azzi startles at her name, looking at the freshman who’s sitting on the floor in front of her and giving her a weird look.

“Leave her alone, Camera,” Paige says, settling into the couch next to Azzi. “What movie we watching?”

They are all crammed into a dorm, as they often are, excited for a chill team movie night in the midst of finals season. Little do the girls know, they will be getting entertainment from more than just the movie tonight.

“No, KK’s right,” Ice says, scrolling through Netflix on the TV. “Azzi’s been acting super weird.”

Azzi, somewhat offended (she thought her acting skills were pretty decent) looks around the room for help. Instead, the girls all just nod their agreement.

Paige nudges her and raises her eyebrows, and Azzi knows exactly what that look means.

“You don’t have to tell us what’s up if you don’t want,” Inês says from her place on the other side of Azzi, dipping her hand into their shared popcorn. It almost makes Azzi want to back out.

Almost.

Putting on her bravest face, Azzi nods and turns to face their friends. “Paige and I have something we’d like to tell you.”

There’s something odd about the silence that follows this, the way the girls on the floor look at each other before turning their bodies to face the couch, the stragglers sitting in the loveseat and at the dining table leaning forward almost imperceptibly.

Azzi tenses up as she is suddenly under the scrutiny of nine other girls. How is she going to lie to them? How is this ever going to work?

Paige, through some form of best-friend-telepathy, senses Azzi’s struggle and places a comforting hand on her back. “I can say it.”

This isn’t what they practiced, but Azzi is too grateful and too distracted by the hand on her back to worry about going off-script.

“We’ve been wanting to tell y’all for a while,” Paige says. “But we also wanted to just keep it to ourselves for a little bit.”

It sounds so natural, and effortless, and Azzi can feel herself slipping into this role for the first time. She pretends the hand on her back is more than friendly, the nerves in her stomach are something other than guilt, the things Paige is about to say are true.

If one good thing is going to come out of any of this, it’ll be this feeling of contentment that Azzi will get to have, at least for a little while. And maybe she’s okay with that.

“Do you guys remember that party we went to a couple months ago?” Paige asks. Her nails scratch over Azzi’s shirt, making her shiver.

“Yeah…” Nika says and at the table in the corner, Aubrey rests her chin in her palms, looking suspiciously like she’s trying not to smile. For some reason, Ice and KK are clutching each other’s hands.

“Well, when Azzi and I got home we just decided to stay together in her dorm…” Paige trails off like she’s hesitant to continue, and half the girls lean closer to them while the other half look a little too relaxed. Ice is now glaring at KK, who’s…beaming?

“Something happened between us that night.” Paige looks at Azzi now, and even though this is what they were supposed to do the look in her eyes still takes Azzi’s breath for just a moment. She has dreamed of Paige looking at her like this for years, and now it is finally happening, and Azzi thinks she would do anything to make this all real.

Paige opens her mouth to continue, but before she can, KK jumps to her feet and squeals, and Ice throws the remote on the ground with an angry, “Fuck!”

Azzi and Paige both startle, and Azzi loves the way Paige’s hand fists up her shirt in surprise, but then the notices that all the other girls don’t seem surprised or confused at all—rather, they all seem to be having similar reactions to KK. Nika and Aubrey are even singing something, and Inês has jumped up from her spot beside Azzi to join the others in what looks a lot like a celebration. Why are they all chest-bumping each other?

Finally, Azzi finds it in herself to speak. “Guys, what…?”

KK kneels to wrap her arms around a sulking Ice and looks at them both, eyes glimmering. “Whatchu mean, what?”

“I don’t…” Paige releases Azzi’s shirt, her hand falling to the seat behind her. “We haven’t even finished telling you yet.”

“Are y’all actually this dumb?” KK asks, before squealing in Ice’s ear and then throwing herself onto the couple on the couch. “Ugh! I’m so happy for you two lovebirds.”

“Lovebirds…?” Azzi asks, but the room is too raucous for her to be heard and when she looks at Paige, all she gets is an equally confused head shake in return.

“My babies are growing up,” Aubrey says, wiping an invisible tear, and Aaliyah comfortingly pats her shoulder.

“Baby,” Amari says, smiling at the both of them, “we have known.”

“Uh,” Paige says, thrown off for once in her life. “How?”

“Because y’all are the most obvious fucking couple in the country,” Ice chips in. She is still pouting, even with Ayanna patting her on the head and Jana rubbing her shoulders.

During the past week, Paige and Azzi have been dropping a few hints here and there in the hopes that they could almost ease their friends into it before telling them, to make things more believable. But obvious? Obvious enough for all of them to know? That’s a stretch.

Apparently thinking the same thing, Paige laughs awkwardly, trying to regain some semblance of control over the situation. “We thought we were pretty good at hiding it.”

“Yeah, right.” Caroline flicks Azzi’s forehead good-naturedly. “KK and Ice have had a bet running for, like, six months now.”

At this, Azzi tenses up, and Paige turns to her, gives her a cautious, confused smile. “That long?”

“I started the bet, of course,” KK pipes in. “You two are so in love.” She sighs dreamily and then nudges Ice with her foot. “You owe me my five-hundy, girlypop.”

“You didn’t even actually win, this doesn’t count,” Ice grumbles. “We made the bet six months ago and they only started dating in March. And also, I thought they’d be way too pussy to tell us yet.”

Paige perks up at this, her unusual awkwardness gone as fast as it came. “Hey! I ain’t pussy about nothing!” and KK chimes in with her own protests of, “Girl, boo! It does too still count, you’re just a sore-ass loser!”

Azzi can’t bring herself to say anything, because their teammates believed Azzi and Paige gave been dating longer ago than this arrangement was even brought up. And that means they must have seen Azzi’s feelings for Paige, and whatever the other side of that is, and they don’t really act like a couple, do they?

“Anyway,” Ice continues, a little less pouty now, “I totally thought I’d have to walk in on you two fucking or something before you ever really came clean.”

Azzi squeezes her eyes shut. Paige’s fingernails dig into her back a little bit.

“I actually can’t believe none of us have walked in on them fucking yet,” Nika muses, and the room quiets down a little, everyone mumbling their assent.

“Maybe they’re celibate,” KK reasons, then fixes them with a look. “Are y’all celibate?”

Paige laughs, and then bends close to Azzi’s ear and mutters, “Told you so.”

For the rest of the night, Azzi’s neck is hot.

This might be more complicated than she thought.

[heartfeltcherie]

hi!!! can i start off by saying your writing is absolutely delicious. call me Ursula the way im finna steal your talent 😭

if this isn’t much of a bother, can i request husk x dog! reader? you can absolutely ignore this if it isn’t your cup of tea I won’t be offended 💥 💥

catch ya later!!!! (yes im a splatoon fan 😁)

CAT & DOG ᡣ𐭩

❀ summary; what it would be like to date husk as a sinner who is a dog !

❀ what to lookout for; use of petnames, lovey dovey stuff, slight suggestiveness at the end.

❀ extra notes; i'm so excited to post my first ever husk performance ! i hope you all enjoy !

- to start things off, you have floppy ears. like lady from lady and the tramp, just because i think she’s so cute.

- and husk absolutely LOVES playing with them because he loves how shy and flustered you tend to get.

- because he just stands there, behind the bar, with a smirk on his face as he fidgets with them between his fingers.

“husk, everyone is gonna stare at us”

“let ‘em, doll. can’t help that they’re so fuckin’ soft” husk continues fidgeting with your ears, leaning closer over the bar until your noses are almost touching. “‘sides, i know you like when i do this”

you let out a content hum. “can’t disagree with that”

- at first, everyone thought it was odd that a cat and dog sinner were together. except for charlie, she was the most supportive of you both and would not stop gushing to your faces about how cute she thought you both were. and to everyone else, for that matter.

- but then everyone realized that it was literally hell and stranger things have happened.

- you’re most definitely the only one husk lets touch his wings or fur.

- you know how sensitive his wings are so you’re always super careful.

- when he’s done working the bar for the day/night and he comes to lay in bed, you immediately start combing your fingers through his fur and you feel honoured to be the only one to hear him purr.

“right there, baby… mm, yeah… that’s the spot” husk is laying on his tummy as your fingers gently comb through his fur. you chuckle softly at him.

“y’know, for a grouchy bartender, you’re acting pretty soft and cute right now” you playfully joke at him. he hums, chuckling with you.

“maybe it’s because of the cute pup sitting next to me in my bed” and he looks up at you with a smirk on his face because he KNOWS that nickname makes you blush.

- oh yeah, husk calls you “pup”

- mainly when you’re alone. when you’re in public it’s the regular pet names.

- “baby,” “doll,” “sweetheart” etc.

- much like alastor, you tend to keep your tail hidden because you find it quite annoying.

- but when you and husk are alone, you let him play with it all he wants. tugging on it (gently), squeezing it.

- on the occasion, he’ll squeeze your tail in secret when you’re in the lobby, just because he loves seeing you get all riled up.

- he thinks it’s cute. and a little hot. okay, maybe, a lot hot.

- you definitely tell him that if he needs a dog, you can bark.

“this is the millionth time you’ve said this, babe…” husk grumbles and you laugh loudly.

“what can i say, i’ve got that dog in me” husk rolls his eyes at your silly statement.

“technically, wouldn’t you have that cat in you, doll face?” angel dust pipes up from his spot on the couch, a smirk on his face as you turn pink. husk looks at you with the same smirk as angel.

“now that’s more like it…”

❀ word count; 529

reblogs/hearts/comments and all that good stuff are appreciated !

audience; @crystalrayn @drxgonspine @alastorthirsty @speedycoffeedelight @alaskathestereodemoness

© heartfeltcherie

[ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal]

Don’t ever tell yourself that you’re not enough, I am certain that you’re truly fine

PART FIVE

Ot8 x reader

Word Count: 812

Just a warning, this is my first fanfic! Does have age regression themes so if you’re not a fan, I ask that you respectfully just don’t read <3 also this will definitely have some angst

!THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION!

Days passed and everytime you hung out with them, they seemed more affectionate than usual.

“Is something going on?” You asked suddenly after Seungmin wrapped a fluffy blanket around you the second you sat down on the couch.

The guys look at eachother as if silently communicating then Seungmin chuckles a bit and playfully scoffs. “There is nothing going on,” he says, not being able to make up an excuse otherwise.

You look at Seungmin curiously, not believing him for a second. “All of you have me basically catering to my every need for days now.”

“Oh please, you’re just delusional,” Seungmin tries to play it off, crossing his arms over his chest.

Looking at the guys again, you notice Felix avoiding eye contact. You look at him for a few more seconds before trying to get information from him, knowing he would most likely be the person to tell you the truth. “Lixie? Is there something that y’all aren’t telling me?”

Before Felix can open his mouth, Changbin speaks. “Oh I can’t take it anymore. This is eating me alive!” He says dramatically, before turning to you “We know about your age regression.”

Your face drops in shock with his sudden outburst, hearing Han, Seungmin, Hyunjin and Chris give Changbin a collective “really dude”.

“How…” seems to be the only thing you could say, your eyes looking between each of the guys.

Chris clears his throat before explaining quietly as if he is scared for the outcome of his sentence, “the other night… the night you wanted to leave suddenly… you showed signs of being a little…” He trails off, looking at you genuinely.

“Before you say anything or try to deny it, we think it’s cute.” Hyunjin says quickly, his eyes wide to try and get his point across.

Felix looks at Hyunjin and chuckles, “Hyung, if you keep looking at her like that, you’ll probably freak her out.” He says, trying to lighten the situation, causing a few of the guys to chuckle.

“I-I just… how do you guys know what that is? Or how to look for signs of it?” You ask, curious how they all caught on.

“The old guy knows about it… but don’t ask him how because it’s the most depressing story you’ll ever hear!” Seungmin explains, causing Chris to playfully shove him, saying a quick “it’s not depressing… and im not old!”

You look at Chris, as if observing him. A part of you always seen Chris as some type of caregiver, but now you don’t know if he knows about it in that sense or if he is possibly a little himself. “I want to know the story…” You blurt out, wanting to know the explanation which causes seungmin to playfully groan.

So Chris explains, and your eyes soften as he does. “You were a caregiver to littles online who didn’t have one because you always wanted to be a caregiver?” You ask softly, causing Seungmin to say “See! Depressing!”

“After Hyung told us about how he suspected you as a little, we wanted to learn how to be a caregiver,” Minho speaks up, his eyes looking at you softly. “We wanted you to feel comfortable around us enough so if you ever wanted or needed to regress… you can.”

This explanation makes you tear up. Knowing the guys went out their way to want to learn how to properly be a caregiver… no one has ever done that before. “You wanted to do that… for me?” You ask, your voice just above a whisper.

“We would move mountains for you, Sunbeam, if it meant seeing you carefree and happy.” Felix reassured you, smiling gently.

The petname made you blush, your cheeks now covered a pinkish red. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you guys.”

“Okay, back up!” Han says, standing up from the couch. “Why hasn’t anyone informed me of this information?!?! Where was I when all of you had this important discussion of our princess?” He expresses playfully, though he is very serious.

The guys looks at one another, forgetting to tell Han any of this. “In our defense, you were sleeping next to her when we talked about it!” Jeongin informs, raising his hands up defensively.

“Wait, Hannie, you didn’t know? Then why were you so affectiante with me as well?” You ask curiously.

Han’s mouth pratcially drops in shock, “I am always affectionate with you!” He says in a desperate voice. “You’re my whole world, I always treat you like you’re the most delicate thing in the world!”

“Okay, yeah you make a good point.” I say, chuckling a bit.

Changbin stands up and goes to crouch infront of you, looking up at you. “Since the cat is now out the bag… maybe now you can help us know how to properly take care of you.”

TAGLIST: @puppyminnnie

[le-higuu]

@pinkyshy10

Transcription:

Stan: wakes up with a gasp. "Ford?"

Ford: "Right here, I'm here."

Ford: "What happened? What's wrong?"

Stan: hugs Ford.

Ford: "Oh! Okay."

Ford: "Okay! Okay, I'm here. I'm right here, Stanley. What happened? Talk to me."

Stan: quietly. "Bad dream."

Ford: "Oh."

Ford: "Do you... Want to talk about it?"

Stan: "...stupid."

Ford: "We've been over this. You're not stupid."

(quiet)

Ford: "You don't have to talk if you don't want to, but... I want to help. If I can."

Stan: "... Pa says so."

Ford: "...Pa?"

Stan: "mhm."

Ford: "Is ... that what you dreamed about? Pa?"

Stan: nods.

Ford: "What ha— Ah. Thank you, Fiddleford."

Stan: "'zat Fidd?"

Ford: "Yes. He's here as well."

Fiddleford: "Yup. Right here, Stan."

Ford: "... Stanley?"

Fiddleford: "He's actin' strange, ain't he? He feel warm?"

Ford: "I don't... think so?"

Fiddleford: reaches for Stan's forehead. "Here, lemme."

Ford: "That's not going to yield very accurate results."

Fiddleford: "You're right, he—"

Stan: shoves Fiddleford away.

Fiddleford: "Oh!"

Ford: "Hey, cut it out. He's trying to help you."

Stan: shoves his hand into Ford's face, snickering.

Ford: "ACK— would you stop that?"

Stan: continues laughing.

Ford: "I swear, you're acting even more childish than usual."

Fiddleford: "Hmm."

Fiddleford: "Stan, how old are you?"

Ford: "What? He's not concussed."

Fiddleford: "Just trust me."

Stan: thinks for a second, then holds up four fingers.

Ford: "Wh— FOUR? How can— How—" to himself, "does he have brain damage?"

Fiddleford: "Hmm."

Ford: "We— Stan, we're twins! We're both 28!"

Fiddleford: "Ford, calm down! It's ok! I think."

Ford: "YOU THINK?"

Fiddleford: "I have a theory."

Fiddleford: "Y'know how sometimes I 'member somethin' an' get all... distant? Like I don't quite know where I am?"

Ford: "Yes...?"

Fiddleford: "When that happens, it feels like the memory is happenin' all over again. Like I'm... stuck."

Fiddleford: "I think this might be somethin' similar."

Fiddleford: "He said he was dreamin' 'bout yer Pa, right? He was prob'ly 4 in the dream."

Ford: "So... He's stuck at that age? But— he never used the memory gun."

Fiddleford: "I ain't so sure that matters. The mind is a delicate thing, Stanford. And yer brother's been through some... unimaginable things."

Fiddleford: "It's prob'ly just his mind tryin' ta process it however it can."

Ford: "... What do you suggest we do, then?"

Fiddleford: "I guess just treat 'im like he's however old he thinks he is?"

Ford: "He's a grown man, Fiddleford! I am not going to treat him like a child!"

Fiddleford: "Well, we can't just force 'im to stop! What if we hurt 'im?"

Ford: "Wh— is that a possibility?"

Fiddleford: "I dunno, Ford! I'm just as confused as you are!"

Stan: sniffles.

Ford: "...Stanley?"

Stan: quietly. "m'sorry. Please don't fight 'cause'a me."

Ford: "Oh... no, Stanley! You did nothing wrong."

Fiddleford: to himself, "Oh, it's just like Tate..." louder, "we were just... havin' a discussion."

Stan: "You're not mad?"

Ford: "No."

Stan: "You sure?"

Ford: "Positive."

Stan: "Extra promise?"

Ford: "Extra promise.*"

Stan: "'kay."

*subscript: Like a pinky promise, but with Ford's extra finger.

Ford: "So... Now what? You wanna go back to bed?"

Stan: "Mm-mm."

Ford: "....How about we built Fort Stan?"

Stan: "Yeah!"

Fiddleford: "What's Fort Stan?"

Ford: "Oh, you'll see."

cough age regressed stanley angst cough

so this is 100% not what you meant by this but for some reason i physically could not move on with my life until i made this comic so here

and then they made a blanket fort and everything was good the end :)

[sycamorality]

thinking abt that 1 time where i was semi-active on a discord server for a yter i watch cause his content actually interested me.

at some point in the announcements channel he posts a link to a game, asking everyone in the server to playtest the game. i'm sideyeing this game because…. this guy is a minecraft youtuber. this guy made a world with only one block where structures generate in the world. so i talk in general chat like, "hey are we sure we can trust this..?" and i try to warn people that this could be a scam and call it out that he could've been hacked because he's not the type to do this.

some other people are suspicious too but i'm the only one being 'loud' about my suspicion and pointing it out. one of the mods, who to my knowledge was the guy's friend, is like "no he's not hacked he's made games before". so i download the game and run it through a malware tester. guess what it turns out to be. i post a screenshot of this in general chat. i think it gets deleted pretty quickly but some people do see it. i keep trying to point out hey this is malware dont downlaod it and play it..? but the mod who is the guy's friend keeps saying "he's made games before" etc etc and someone plays it in vc. yes, it's a simple 2d shooter, But its still got malware.

and i'm just sitting there in vc like. guys. guys this is fucking malware. guys. oh my god guys. i also point out that the youtuber doesnt type like he usually does. he usually types all lowercase with a few specific typos and he's not doing that right now which is you know, weird as fuck. i'm still weirded out because he's not the type to make a game like this?? and then after a few minutes they like. start kicking people from the main server, specifically people that are voicing their suspicion, and thats finally when people started realising. oh shit. something's fishy about this.

and someone makes a temporary server for everyone thats active to gather while shit continues to go down and the main server is locked down because the hacker's realised theyve finally gotten got. so the hacker's doing damage control and people are talking in the second server someone made and then the youtuber joins with an alt on the second server after two hours or so and confirms he got hacked and that the game that "he" sent was malware. and i'm just sitting here trying my best not to go "I TOLD YOU!!! I FUCKING TOILD YOU!!!! I SAID IT FIRST!!! I SAID IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER IT WAS POSTED AND YOU DIDNT LISTEN"

anyway i ended up leaving that server later because there were a lot of nsfw/18+ jokes that were thrown around even though there were minors on the server. actually 1 of those were directed at me and it was someone "joking" about commissioning me to draw nsfw and me responding "im a minor" and him replying "i see... so ur playing hard to get" and i brought that up to the youtuber and he just brushed it off like "no he just makes jokes like that. hes just like that"

[bloodyinkandquill]

Illumina and child figure Reader

they never specified so i’m assuming they want child reader sorry if i assumed wrong let me know if i did and ill do a new one!

to keep my theme i don’t put anything before the characters name so this is more accurately father figure illumina but oh well

sorry for my semi hiatus i haven’t had much motivation but im writing to get my mind off of the election and ive got brownies cooling on the counter, we also have a new puppy dm me for pics because she is the cutest thing oh my gods

- Sneaking into Illumina’s temple to steal food from his offerings takes some guts, or you were incredibly stupid, it could be either honestly, seeing as you were a kid probably both honestly

- When Illumina sensed someone not only stealing from his temple but one of his offerings he showed up immediately, pissed if not a little impressed someone had the nerve, then he saw you, a small, very thin, shaking little kid holding a single loaf of bread, normally he’d smite you without a second chance but something stopped him, maybe it was that your horn looked very slightly like his, maybe jealousy of some of his siblings, or maybe he was just tired, but he stopped and didn’t smite you

- He asked what you were doing, stealing from his temple, you said you were starving, you needed something to eat, and the only place nearby was his temple, you were so sorry, he made an odd sound before sighing and saying he’d get you some proper food, something that wasn’t an offering to him, realizing it was an offering you panicked and he said it was whatever, bringing you to his worshippers to make you food

- They were all a bit confused but they did so obediently and you had the best soup you’ve ever had, as you ate he asked you questions about yourself, your name, age, etc, finally he eventually said you could stay in his temple, he’d have his worshippers make sure you were bathed and fed, you were extremely thankful if not a bit confused

- His demeanor remained cold and stern but he did seem a bit more soft towards you, after he left you were given your own room and taken care of, when you saw him next you immediately ran up and gave him a hug, barely even making it up to his waist, seeing you in his follower’s robes, and the way they were too large for you, sparked something unfamiliar in him, a parental instinct

- He was unfamiliar with the feeling, but he’d heard some of his siblings describe it before, and he realized he wanted to protect you, not just have you be cared for by his worshippers, but he wanted to take care do you, so suddenly you were in his home, sort of, you think it’s his home but it looked… weird*

- Illumina isn’t the most expressive or talkative guy but you knew he does care about you, making sure you’re always properly fed and clean, if you ask for something he doesn’t respond but a few hours later you find that thing in or near your room, you always give him a hug when you do, slowly as time went on he’d touch you back during the hugs, a pat on the head, ruffling your hair, and after awhile he’d bend down to your level so he could hug you back properly

- He has some weird bird brain instincts on occasion which is why sometimes you end up sleeping in a big pile of blankets and pillows curled up next to him, he makes cooing sounds contently and you fall asleep not a worry on your mind, safe and warm, though him trying to feed you is something you do not like, at least it isn’t proper baby bird style just spoon feeding instead

- His siblings don’t know about you, okay that’s not entirely true, Ghostwalker has seen you before but doesn’t know the full extent of his brothers care towards you, but besides for him the others have no idea he adopted a mortal, let alone who he met because they stole from him

- Sometimes he disappears for days at a time, if he knows that that’s going to happen he leaves you in the care of his followers, when they first took care of you it was begrudgingly but now that you’re basically his child they treat you with a lot more care and gentleness, you also were given special robes by him so that when they do have to take care of you they know who you are immediately, that is if they don’t see your eyes immediately

- If Illumina blesses or gifts one of his worshippers their eyes go fully white like his, in your case they went a light purple instead, but same principle applies, your pupils disappeared and anyone who looks at your face can tell at the very least you have his blessings, if not that you’re more special then a normal follower who’s received his gift

- Soup is still your favorite food, it reminds you of the day you met him, even if he never admits it knowing that soup is your favorite food and when he sees you eat it it makes something warm spring up in his chest

- He’s not much of a talker, but he enjoys listening to you ramble on about anything and everything, even if not that coherent it’s pure and childish, maybe what you did that day, the story behind a drawing you made, the story you’re currently acting out with your toys, which speaking of are sick, he had almost never interacted which children before you so he basically got you everything, going form a homeless street child to owning basically every toy in existence was a pretty sweet thing

- After a few months he teaches you how to preen him, you’re not amazing at it but you have plenty of time to learn, and your small hands make it so you can be a lot more careful, after you preen him though he immediately starts brushing your hair and straightening your clothes, it’s his way of preening you back, since you don’t have wings (yet) of your own so taking care of your hair and cleaning you up slightly is the closest he can get

- On very rare occasion he returns home with injuries, usually from fights gone too far with Darkheart, or maybe once or twice Venomshank, either way you watch from his doorway as he bandages himself up hissing in pain as he cleans and dresses his wounds, after he finishes you come in with a stuffed animal handing it to him and gently crawl into his lap, it relaxes him and you fall asleep in his nest with him that night, every stuffed animal you give him during those times ends up in his nest, he treasures them, in his own way, when he’s a very stoic guy it’s not obvious but you’ve learned to read him, he also lets himself show more emotion around you, since you are just a child who can’t understand him that well normally

- When you first saw him appear that day in his temple, you thought for sure your life was over, but instead you gained a father, and even if you never said it, you were eternally grateful for all of it, falling asleep curled up next to a deity who was almost twice your height was never your plan, but you were happy it happened

i am stressing over this election but i’m tired now, imma go to bed, ALSO

i made a friend in this community and they offered to help with this blog, idk if it will happen but on occasion they may do a request for me ill say if they do it’s not a guarantee but just letting you all know there’s a chance i might get some help on these here and there

* according to soda illumina kind of has a house ‘it’s weird’ what that means is unclear

[str4wberrysw4n]

𝓡𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑: 𝐮 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐨𝐥˙✧˖°🎀⋆｡˚꩜

if u've been in the manifestation/loa community for like less than a week, u probably already know abt the statement: "ur the creator of ur reality." the meaning of the phrase is exactly how it sounds: u control every single thing abt u and around u. all of ur manifestations/"desires" are possible bcuz u, the creator, have decided that they are possible. stuff like that. however, I feel like some people don't understand what that really means and how much power u actually hold.

when u are the creator, u don't have limitations. everything that happens is ur doing. ur relationships, ur appearance, ur lifestyle -- everything is being controlled by ur subconscious, whether u know it or not.

if u decide "oh, that boy rejected me, so that means he and i aren't meant to be", that thought manifests into the 3d and that boy and u aren't meant to be. that's because u as the creator have decided that this person will feel that way about u.

"if im the creator of my reality, then why can't I manifest my desires?" first of all, I've already said this before: u are constantly manifesting ur desires. in fact, u saying that u can't manifest is not only u putting limiting beliefs on urself, but ur also calling them desires, meaning that ur still trapped in the illusion of the physical world.

second, i think I've also mentioned this before-- we are limitless beings experiencing human life in the physical world. if u want to be wealthy, a bunch of money isn't gonna just drop from the sky. while the 4d is the true reality, ur subconscious will still manifest in a way that doesn't seem weird or straight up bizarre to the average human. that’s why we don't notice/recognize when we've manifested something; because it happens in such a natural way that u can't tell if it was a coincidence or ur actual manifestation (spoiler alert: it's the second option)

knowing this, think abt what it means to truly be a creator. u basically control everyone and everything around u. the creator doesn't fear abt their "desires" never coming to pass bcuz they know that if its not happening, it is not meant for their life in the physical realm. they will see something happen in the 3d that conflicts with what they imagine in the 4d. but instead of wavering, they let themselves process their emotions and then remind themselves that the 3d is an illusion, the old story, and that the 4d is the new one.

this is where anti-loa come in and say "oh so if someone's homeless, then they chose that for themselves?" "if someone's dying of cancer, then they chose that for themselves?" and this has actually been a point that I've agreed with for some time. what abt ppl who go through genuine pain and suffering in the world? are they at fault?? this bugged me for some time and i only just found an answer now. so do i agree?

"yes" and no.

(i have not experienced either of these things. I've seen people manifest illnesses away and money when they needed it, but i have not personally experienced it. so pls take my following words with a grain of salt ^_^)

let's start with the homeless thing as an example: if ur homeless, it is incredibly difficult to remind urself that in the 4d, ur incredibly rich and wealthy. such awful conditions and circumstances make it hard for someone to persist. this ends up in them unfortunately conforming to the 3d and leaving things up to chance instead of taking control.

same thing with illnesses; how can u tell urself that in the 4d, that ur cancer free, when ur possibly confined to a hospital bed? they can still control their realities, but not only is it incredibly difficult to do so, but some people either don't know or don't believe in manifestation, indirectly abdicating their title as creator. so it is "their fault"... but at the same time it isn't. (ppl r obviously entitled to their own beliefs as well)

to sum it up, u are the creator of ur reality and u control everything that happens to u or around u. we r all human beings experiencing life in the physical realm so ur subconscious manifests ur 4d in a way that makes logical sense to u. however, when ur experiencing smth bad, it's not ur fault if u waver or find it hard to persist!! (the 3d can pack a punch sometimes) as long as ur able to remind urself of the power that u hold, u'll be able to get through it!!

happy manifesting!!!! (≧▽≦)ིྀ

[amethystfairy1]

Okay, but can we talk about how *poetic* it is that Whumptober ended with Grian and Scar making amends?

Like, you have to remember that Traveling Thieves started because of Whumptober last year- a silly little prompt that spirled into a silly little (Big. Very big.) Au.

TT started with Grian, Scar, and Mumbo's story beginning. And now, having whumptober end with what feels like an actual ending itself- not a goodbye, but rather a "See You Later"- almost a season finale esque "ending" specifically for Grian & Scar & Mumbo's story is. Well, I mean it's just fucking peak idk what else to say.

Breaking mindsets, relapsing, trusting for the first time in at least seven years, only for everything to crumple in a few HOURS. quite LITERALLY EVERYTHING. In probably not EVEN an hour. For everything to be so tense for the past couple months our time.. and weeks their time.. all build-up for this specific moment. This moment that means so much more to these characters than I think most people realize. This is genuinely heart-breaking in the best way possible.

I'm getting a little off track here opps- but my point is to having whumptober end not only with the conclusion of a major plot point in the story, but also one that means so much in so many different ways, is genuinely one of the best things I've seen seen in a long time. Whether it was intentional or not.

I definitely got sidetracked and lost some of my initial points, but, I regret nothing. Whumptober (im starting to feel like a broken record lol) was amazing, I will actually never be the same, this has changed me forever. Congratulations to finishing on time as well!! And congrats to on working with KhoirKid!!! This was amazing, but I think I need to stop talking before I never stop lol! <3

Oh my STARS Thank you for this! I love all of this and how you've read into it, it makes me SOOOO happy when people do this with my stories! There's themes! There's PARALLELS! And there's so much build up and work and that people have been enjoying all of that just makes me so so so so happy! Thank you so much for sharing how you feel about the ending to Whumptober! I absolutely love it!

[wreckrinho]

You got be kidding me… YOU GOT BE KIDDING ME?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!😭

But seriously I love Cosmo Angst but, this?! THIS?!

I did not expect someone like you to do something like that!

Is Anti Cosmo really that stupid like his son?!

I mean if Cosmo die, he will die! He is Cosmo’s Anit fairy after all!

How heck did Cosmo got caught?!

Where is Wanda?! Is she okay?! I need to see her reaction about her husband that had disappeared!

Poor Wanda, i couldn’t imagine her suffering and looking around but couldn’t find anywhere!

We need to see Peri too! How poor and worrying he is too!

Is Hazel okay?! I hope she didn’t got hurt or something cause she���s his Godchild!

I’m bet all Cosmo has on his mind is his wife and son! Ugh…,😭

I had wanted do Cosmo Angst AU but I couldn’t think of one…

But this…. Wow…

OH MMYYY????? HEHE!!!... uhhh...what do you mean "someone like me"!?!?!? >:( im getting kinda offended here, buddy!!!/j

And oh..Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Cosmo is not stupid, but he was very slow in this regard. How could he have imagined? Anti-Cosmo knew that Cosmo would have, sooner or later, a magical backup... but he didn't imagine it would be so fast. Now, he can't stop reading books on the subject thinking about HOW this happened...the poor puppeteer knows that if the puppet dies his show will end too. He is afraid of dying for the first time in his life.

and about how cosmo was captured? oh you will all see that in the next comic!!

And now about wanda...?? Uh...shes fucking dying from the inside if im being honest-- Her life has become stressful, she can barely use her magic since Cosmo is SO far away from her. She misses her husband, she misses his hugs, his loving kisses... The only thing she can think about is if Cosmo is okay. The stress has become so much that her crown is slowly cracking.

And Peri???? Uhhh...omg---

Peri can't be so present in the search for his father, because unfortunately all the events of the AU take place a few weeks after the end of the first season of Fairly Oddparents A New Wish and he is very sick, still recovering from the extreme magical Backup he had. But Peri is simply destroyed inside because of the news... Wanda tried to make the story lighter, but Peri is completely desperate about his lost father.

...and i think all of you can guess how hazel is, huh?

Shes desperate about it. She wants to help as much as possible, but she can't! She's not hurt or anything... At first everyone thought Cosmo had just gotten lost until 1 day passed... then 2... then 5 days... It's been 2 weeks since Cosmo disappeared.

All that goes through Cosmo's head is his family in fact!!!!... Wanda, Peri, Hazel... he can't think about anything else. Sometimes he dissociates while Anti-Cosmo is controlling him and Cosmo only thinks about his family...Sometimes he doesn't even care about what AC is capable of doing to him, he just wants to go home.

BUT OMG TYSM FOR THIS ASK!!!! THIS WAS SOOO FUN!?!? HAHA I DID NOOOOT EXPECT SUCH A BIG ASK!!!!?!?!/POS!!!!!!!!

[stevie-petey]

hi!! can we get a cute fluffy stug blurb to deal with all the angst? your writing is genuinely so incredible i get scared to read a new chapter bc i don’t want to see them suffer but your writing is so so so good it just draws me in completely. I hope you’re proud of come home bc it’s INCREDIBLE i don’t think i’ve read anything related to steve that i love more. and the blurbs?? what else could we ask for omg you’re giving us EVERYTHING

hi dear !! i was savin a fluffy request for when we needed one, and i think after these last few days ,,,, some cute bickering between robin, steve, dustin, and bug is needed.

enjoy <3

"your boyfriends late."

"the bell rang like, five seconds ago."

"hes still late."

robin rolls her eyes at dustin while you shove him off the curb. he yelps in surprise and you snicker. "watch your step, dusty."

"do not call me that." he glares at you, straightening his hat. hes shot up at least three inches since this summer and soon he'll be your height and not so easy to shove onto the street.

"children, please." robin sighs exhaustedly. "i have a four hour shift ahead of me. can we save the arguing for later?"

"she started it!" dustin exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger at you while you point at him and shout, "he started it!"

a car pulls up behind the two of you. "whatever youre arguing about, im on y/n's side."

steve pokes his head out through his rolled down window. hes wearing his stupidly cheesy raybands that youve come to adore. smiling at you, he sends you an air kiss. "miss me?"

dustin thwacks the teens nose, eliciting a very unattractive screech to fall from steves lips. "never do that again."

your brother then gets into the back of the car while you and robin giggle hysterically. she has to clutch onto your arm to avoid toppling over in her laughter. youre no better yourself, snorting with every quick inhale of breath.

"tha' wasn' funny," steve holds his nose while he tilts his head back. hes worried the shithead gave him a bloody nose, but all you and robin can focus on is how nasally his voice is now.

the two of you laugh even harder, and all steve can do is flick you off and pout.

"you guys are assholes." he grumbles, finally starting the car after you and robin collect yourselves.

"im sorry, honey." you press a soft, gentle kiss to the tip of steves nose. "is that better?"

of course your kiss made steve feel infinitely better. but he isnt an idiot. hes aware of the audience in his car. theres no way hes giving dustin and robin even more ammunition against him.

"not answerin' that."

dustin snorts. "oh, so now hes smart not to flirt with you in front of me."

"why are you even in my car?"

"why are you even dating my sister?"

robin raises her hand. "i have an even better question: why am i being driven to my shift that starts in five minutes?"

"thats a great question, robin." your body turns to the one next to you. "steve, care to answer?"

steve waves a sarcastic hand at you, but he pulls out of the school parking lot anyways. you, robin, and dustin cheer. though steves eyebrows are knit in annoyance, you know hes secretly elated as well. its rare to have a day at family video with you and dustin alongside him and robin.

with your shifts at the bookstore and dustins growing fascination with eddie, its nice to just have some time with one another. family video always feels bleaker without the hendersons.

"alright, what has horny heather selected this week?" dustin makes himself at him behind the video counter. long having memorized the systems password, he easily logs into the stores rental catalogue.

horny heather is the name youve given one of family videos most frequent customers. shes an older women with a bizarre fixation for movies with attractive male leads. it wouldnt be so bizarre if it werent for the fact that she regularly rewinds to every single shirtless scene the movies contains.

and every nude scene.

sometimes you hate how much family video knows about its customers.

you plop down next to dustin. "my money is on anything with tom cruise. she seems to have a thing for brunettes."

"and who can blame her?" steve flicks his hair out of his face. "we're obviously the best."

robin throws her jacket at him. "stop drooling over yourself. its unbecoming for a young man."

"dude, you sound like my mom."

"jokes on you. your mom is totally a babe," robin bats her eyelashes at him. "im taking that as a compliment."

steve blanches at this, completely disgusted and offended. he looks at you incredulously. "you hearing this? she just called my mom a babe. thats-thats just so wrong-"

"your mom is pretty hot." you shrug at steve. "sorry, honey. im on robins side."

robin high fives you, snickering in victory. steves jaw drops in pure astonishment. hes speechless. he cant believe youd betray him like this. he cant believe you think his own mother is hot.

dustin looks at the scene before him and shakes his head. you guys are being totally immature. "cmon, guys. thats just wrong."

steve waves his arms out at the kid. "see? thank you, little henderson. god, i cant believe youre the only one here with any sense left-"

"of course, buddy!" dustin smiles wickedly at him. "its silly for y/n and robin to call your mom hot. we all know its really your dad is way hotter."

"what-?" steve gasps for air.

"his broodiness is hot, isnt it?" you grab dustins arm excitedly. "i mean, hes just so stoic. so stern."

robin pretends to faint. "its so... manly."

steve goes to the corner and screams.

which just so happens to be the same corner a poor, old woman is browsing in.

he ends up getting hit with her cane.

its a good day.