#AND MAKING THEM JUDGE EVERYONE WHILE ALSO MAKING THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE PAINFUL FOR THEM IS SO. Y E A H

[linagram]

I cant wait for yurika's vd to be like trial 1 Mikoto where she just goes apeshit on the guards (i know she cant, but the thought is funny nonetheless.) Also, could we get a general map of your prison? Is it exactly like canongram, or a bit different?

well, uh. well about that. um. a-anyway, her vd is gonna be fun <3

okay, so i suck at drawing maps, soooo instead i just wrote down some things about how the prison looks!

this prison doesn't have eleven cells and only has ten. so yeah, it doesn't have a secret eleventh prisoner or anything like that. it doesn't mean that eiji and miki were always supposed to be the guards though. all cells have the same numbers as the prisoners.

the way the cells are located is a bit different though: on the map it looks like they aren't that far from each other, but to get to each cell, you will need at least five minutes. in fact, sometimes it feels like those cells are actually pretty far and eiji and miki may need more than ten minutes. and considering that one of the guards is very physically weak for understandable reasons, walking there can be really painful for eiji. why would they even need to make these cells so far apart from each other and why would they try to make it look like you will need less than two minutes to get to each cell? it feels like they're making fun of the guards, honestly.. or do they just want to see how loyal they really are? it probably doesn't make a lot of sense because the cells are most likely supposed to be exactly next to each other, BUT THIS IS MY VISION.

the wiki says that the canongram cells are supposed to look like these white rooms with everyone's height charts, but in my head the linagram cells look much darker and overall have a more scary atmosphere. it's not really related to the map, just something i wanted to share jdkslsls.

BOY THIS PRISON HAS SO MANY HIDDEN THINGS. first of all, lots of cameras. it's really hard to find them and they're basically not visible, but it is possible that someone will notice them one day. the cameras are there to keep an eye on eiji, miki and the prisoners, but they're also there so that the third guard can watch them without having to leave his room. of course, he's not the only one who uses them.

in the corridor, you can also see a small screen hanging on the wall and there's also one in the dining room. eiji and miki's rooms have screens as well, but they're only used to talk about everyone's verdicts. eiji and miki have never found the fact that even the dining room has a screen weird and just thought that it's supposed to be like that. some prisoners thought they could watch tv here and were disappointed when they found out this is not the case.

the dining room, the storage room and the shower rooms are also there and eiji and miki have their own rooms as well. their rooms actually don't look much like es' room and both of them are unique, show their personalities and have everything those guards might need. it looks like whoever is in charge of everything really wanted these two to feel at home. well, they already do.

this prison has a lot of hidden rooms though and they're made to look like all of them are actually a part of the wall. basically, they have the same color and texture as the wall, they don't have any doorknobs, they don't stand out in any way. so naturally, no one notices them. one of those rooms is the third guard' room, jackalope's room is also there. most of those rooms are locked, but not all of them.

[kani-miso]

self indulgent essomnia

i feel left out being the only one thinking of insomnia as es instead of mikoto. i know it does fit for mikoto, but hear me out.

ramble under the cut

there's actually a lot of reasons on why i think about es insomnia !!

i made this before the new official lyrics came oh my god i needed to update it.

the whole motif of everyone around them being balloon headed people remind me of the es covers album. they're both covered and still have the distinct features of the person (balloon heads still having stuff like glasses and hats, and es covers having each characters character color).

mr creepypasta watching over sunao really radiates panopticon vibes. i've always seen mr creepypasta similiar to jackalope since they're basically the all seeing eye. the way that mr creepypasta takes care of sunao reminds me of how jackalope (more exactly, milgram as a whole) takes care of es, especially if you connect it with the ca theory (we'll get to that later). the difference is that mr creepypasta is actually caring (i think?) and milgram is harsh, the system is just messed up. you can also count the novel jackalopes, they really don't care about their wardens well being (novel jacka (almost) cutting of one of their wardens breath, mv jackalope being absent and verbally abusive).

"what day of the week is today?" "surviving days are too painful" every month, every week, each day, their schedule is packed with work. because they have been working mindlessly they would forget what day it is (also i'm pretty sure you can't really track time in milgram). everyday would be painful for them since there's really nothing to do except work, interrogations are also tiring.

"my smirk is more recognizeable" *bang* each interrogation, their "apatheticness" becomes more visible because the prisoners become more unbearable (ex: fuuta t2 vd ). since they've gotten enough of it, they lash out to the prisoners (ex: fuuta and es' argument).

"even when transmitted in words, they wont intersect" even when es explains the verdicts through words, the prisoners (guilty) wont understand.

"even chant for disagreements, huh, whether those are justice or evil" this line fits perfectly with the guilty 4 (and maybe some innos). the guilties are chanting their disagreement towards their verdict, but es wouldn't listen even if they're right (justice/justifiable reasons) or wrong (evil/malicious reasons).

"as long as we can only be judged subjectively" basically judging the prisoners according to personal biases. they rely on those biased opinions because the viewers technically have more authority than es. the original milgram experiment proves that people(es) will listen to commands even if they're Immoral as long as those commands are sent/told by those above them(us).

"this is the place where i can be myself" this line plays while the mv shows sunao with mr creepypasta behind him. i like incorproting this as milgram being the place where they can be "themself" (even though jackalope is still watching).

"don't mix yourself up" there's many mini sunao's everywhere. it reminds me of how the voices in es' head probably makes them confused on which thought is actually theirs. also, that part of the mv, all of those posters (?) of mini sunao's are like self promoting the song by putting 'insomnia' in every poster. it reminds me of how milgram self promotes in the prisoners mvs (ex: the perfume bottle in weakness, fuuta's phone in bio, yuno's socks having the word 'umbilical' on it, etc).

"don't lose sight of your heart" not sure if this makes sense but es' heart is just feelings of their duty being warden.

"i want to know you, and cross the borderline where neither good nor evil exists" literally the es line ever. they want to know the prisoners and their sins without personal biases (since morality differs from person to person). it really fits with one of the lines in undercover (Is it really ok to be done with deciding with just your EGO?).

"here's the night we can't return anymore, but let me go beyond that with you" isn't the kidnapping of the prisoners and es the night where they can't return no more? the prisoners are trying to make es is tag along with the prisoners to go "beyond" it (ex: some of the prisoners saying how they're both on the same boat (something like that)) milgram is the place where you can't exactly return (in the novels, there's only one person who succesfully left milgram (torch/touchi) but only because he rebelled against the rules).

"one day, we will see each other in the proper world" *mr creepypasta leaving sunao* idk it really just feels like how jackalope is absent and not caring for es 90% of the time.

↑new lyrics: "i hope we can meet in the world i envisioned" this line fits more with es and the prisoners instead of es woth milgram.

"everything will stay vacant if this continues" i actually didn't want to add this but hey. what if the "this" is milgram. everything will stay empty if es chooses to continue along milgram. i hope you understood. also the scene fits as well. the scene is mini sunao looking at balloon headed people with one eye. it's similiar to how es' whole life is broadcasted worldwide til other people can see their immature and childish acts/behaviors.

↑ new lyrics: "at this rate, i'll keep being empty in this unfufilling city".

"i intentionally threw away my longing" "it makes me sigh" "in front of my blurred future" i don't really want to talk about the lyrics, i want to talk about the mv but wtv. they threw away their personal desires (autonomy and their free will) making their future inconsistent (blurred future). ok the mv. the mv scene shows sunao being led by mr creepypasta, since nobody can see mr creepypasta, sunao looks like he's holding onto nothing. it's similiar to how es talks to jackalope. since only es can hear jackalope, they look like they're talking to themselves. (pointed out by muu)

"honestly, i'm evil with a rotten soul. i wish for misfortunes to happen." es knows what they're doing "is sort of" wrong at some point iirc ("I get that this is painful for you, but I'm telling you my own thoughts.") and ("Yet I've been dealing with it this whole time! I've been desperately thinking about all of the prisoners, including you! So I don't think I was ever wrong. No matter what hell I make this place to be, I will not run away! I won't make someone else deal with it!") <not really but they do emphasize that they could make milgram a living hell. they also technically wish for "misfortunes" to happen via guilty verdicts although they're not the one that chooses ("Shut your mouth…! I am the one casting the judgements here!").

"i even don't know about myself" "but i know my fate, riddled with misfortune, is at a dead end" *sunao sleepwalking (?) while holding mr creepypasta's hand* *sunao getting recorded live and people laughing at him* this fits so well i'm going insane. since es has weird habits (ex : mumbling to themselves alot, talking to nothing/themselves) that the prisoners can't understand, some of them just laughs at them and tell them they're weird (ex: muu). (the text on the phone filming: "♪ im rambling", 'ha?", "filming/recording something?", "dangerous wwwww", "seriously, stop filming and run away", "this guy's dangerous", "report")

"those pierced words that strike my heart" "they still haunt my memory" it fits one of the vds but i forgot which one (…This is bad for my heart. Stop it. Besides, that’s what I’d like to know as well…)

i didn't put this in bc of the image limit (on mobile rn) but i want to talk about the chorus lyrics too.

"from the depths of hell, i've been climbing up my whole life. but perhaps i can look at this ruined future and lay a flower of hope upon it's grave, even now i'm still praying. we're still connected, i saw this day in my dreams" guys this line is just so es coded idk how to word it. "i've been climbing up for my whole life" feels similiar to how es bears to keep on going with 10 troublesome prisoners ("Yet I've been dealing with it this whole time! I've been desperately thinking about all of the prisoners, including you!") and ("I am watching over ten troublesome prisoners, after all. Even if I don’t want to, I’m being relied on.").

the scene is just like what i said before, their childish actions/behaviors are broadcasted to the world (in this scene it's on a big screen). also es fighting their own instincitual/childish desires is so real, they force themselves to put that wardenly facade and repress their childishness. (also the 'pray' on top is interesting). not talking about the lyrics since it really isn't important for now.

ok this is where we talk about the ca theory. the reason es trusts milgram so much is maybe because milgram supposedly "saved" them from their abusive household. how would you know they have an abusive household? you can see by how they react to physical touch and other stuff ("Don’t touch me like we’re friends.") and ("Hah? Stop staring at me so openly. It’s disgusting."). you can assume that they went through csa too. the fear of being touched and looked at does not come out of nowhere, it comes from previous traumatic events that made them uncomfortable with it. also, more stuff to add up to the csa theory ("It's a personal dislike of mine. People who acts based on their sexual urges like that, that is"). if we do use the ca theory, this whole scene fits so well. mr creepypasta literally saved sunao from his abuser.

for the last two scenes, no matter how hurt es is, they would still be focusing on milgram instead of themselves.

there's probably more things i want to talk about but i can't talk about it properly. anyways omg the new lyrics are so cool i love the way they gave effects on it.

i'm relatively new to eve lore so i probably made mistakes about these two characters (mr creepypasta and sunao) so im really just basing it off of the insomnia mv only. (i love mr creepypasta (for now)!!! (fun fact: i thought on one of the scenes, the hand was pouring boiling water on sunao was mr creepypasta and then i disliked them, i just realized after a few days that it's not them (and now i love them)) (i also really like sunao,,, the mipy ever (i dont know much about tobi but they're cool))

[sasori-rp]

A much needed Post

Good evening everyone, I hope you're all having a good day.💜

Yes, I probably tagged you in this, dear stranger. Before you click off, I ask you to give me 5 minutes of your time. Just 5, then you can go about your day. But I would appreciate it, if you listened to what I have to say, because it means a lot to me and many...many others.

I'm posting today, because this topic has been on my heart lately and I wanted to share my thoughts with you. I'm sure you've already guessed that this is about the whole Kisame-anon chaos.

Before we begin, I want to get this out of the way: This post is coming from a genuine and loving place. My goal is not to point fingers, nor placing blame or justify anyone's actions, including my own. This post is about me, trying to understand the entire situation and providing my sentiments to it.

Act I: Why do I not just shut up?

Why do I get involved you might ask? It's not so much that I want to get involved. It's more that any anon who begins their journey here, gets inevitably sucked into it. We are faced with angry posts, confusing explanations and forced to choose who to believe and support. If you don't, you walk on eggshells filled with guilt and if you do, you're being blocked by the entire half of the disagreeing party.

This is not what I signed up for.

I come on to Tumblr to Roleplay and have fun. I've been having a splendid time here. You guys are making me so happy as of late, allowing me to play freely and giving me a space for all my creative ideas. And I want to continue doing so.

I want to be able to chat up anyone, without fearing that someone else will jump at my throat for it. That includes Kisame, Hidan, Orochimaru and many more of you wonderdul RPers.

Recently I have noticed that I've been blocked by several people and I can guess, what the reason is. And it saddens me because...I like you guys. We were talking and sharing fun experiences, only for me to discover that I am suddenly cut off from it. For no other reason than that I interact with a person they have a quarrel with. And that is just...not the solution. So what is the solution?

Act II: The Anon War in a nutshell

Now, from my understanding, there is a big rift between two groups.

1) Those who have received digital harassment in form of hate/rape/death threats (and believe Kisame-anon to be the culprit)

and

2) Those who defend Kisame against those claims, or, like me, don't just blindly hop onto a hate train they saw on the internet

Again, my goal with this post is not to be the divine judge over who is in the right here. It is, objectively, pretty much impossible from an outsider's standpoint. And additionally, I don't think either of you is necessarily to blame for your individual reactions.

I absolutely feel for you guys, Hidan-anon and your friends. I, too, would be seething if someone I love was harrassed in the way Hidan (and co) has been. I do not know the extent of the harrassment. But I believe you when you say, that you've suffered. And I am very sorry you have been through that.

I also feel for Hidans friends, who, (bless their hearts) really are trying to protect them from further harm. An absolutely understandable sentiment.

I do however, also really feel for Kisame, who, (bear with me here) is probably being framed. They have been faced with a lot of backlash from party 1, have tried to defend themselves to no avail, up to the point of having to retreat. And all that...for what?

Act III: The Point I'm trying to make

Do none of you realise, that you're being pinned against each other?

There is a person (or perhaps several) that has harrassed Hidan-anon with very vile threats and they are getting away with it. There is someone out there, that is having the time of their life, watching you scratch each others eyes out, causing pain and suffering for everyone involved, while they sit back and watch the show.

Kisame-anon has not sent you these messages. They have proof of it. Wether you believe them or not, is up to you, but...

Do you really want to keep hurling hate at a person, that is just as much a victim as you are? A person who, themselves, is a victim of sexual abuse and would never even think of the idea of sending someone rape threats?

Would you not rather work together to bring that (pardon my french) asshat to justice, that is playing sick games with the both of you?

And mind you, it's not just Kisame you're isolating. You're isolating their friends, who are doing the same as you: Protecting those they care about.

You're isolating kind strangers like me, who just want to roleplay without the drama, by blocking them by mere association.

And you're isolating oblivious newcomers, who might have the misfortune of stumbling over the "wrong" blog at the wrong time.

This is not okay guys.

And coercing others into doing the same (blocking by association) is further doing damage, because many people just want to stay away from the drama and thus do as you say without much thought. The whole thing is harmful in itself, but it's worse, because you're doing it to the wrong person.

Kisame has evidence that they're innocent. Kisame also has a quite solid theory who it is. Do you not want to at least have a look at it?

If you truly care about the safety and wellbeing of your friends, I strongly suggest you do. Because the actual predator is still out there.

I am glad that Hidan went to the police. I hope that they find who is behind all of this and that they get taken care of for good. Because like things stand now, you're about to drag an innocent person to the guillotine and letting the true perpetrator go. And you're dividing an entire RP fandom, that used to be a safe space.

I don't want this to happen.

Act IV: So...what now?

I want this post to be a wake up call. A wake up call for all those who are as confused, as I was and unsure what to do; but also, especially, to Hidan-anon and friends. Please, let us put down arms and find a solution.

I care about you. And I care about Kisame. And I love this little RP space we built and the friends I made here. I want us to stand together, acknowledge each other's suffering and grow as people. Let us talk things out.

I want this post to be a safe place for exchange. Feel free to add your thoughts and sentiments in the comments. Everything is welcome, as long as it is respectful and communicated calmly. I am more than happy to provide you with a neutral ground to talk things out. My DMs and Asks are always open for anyone who needs an ear or a shoulder.

We, as Naruto fans, more than anyone else, should know that hate creates nothing but more hate. So let us lead with compassion and patience. And listen to each other. Thank you for your attention.

[majesty-madness]

"Liquid Grief" - Bucky Barnes x reader (sfw)

Summary: Parties were never her thing, especially when alcohol is involved.

Word Count: 3700+

Warnings: angst, crying, panic attack, anxiety, alcohol consumption, mentions of being drunk/tipsy, past trauma, mentions of family problems

a/n: I won’t say too much, but I will say that this is based on a bit of my own experiences. So I just want to say that if you’ve been through something like this you are not alone, and because it’s difficult to bring up this topic with people I know, writing it out in a story helps me process through it. And if this helps you in some way, I’m glad you found comfort in it.

Also, I know the title is a little weird; it was kind of an ironic twist on the whole “liquid courage” phrase. Not proofread.

Main Masterlist

She couldn’t believe she agreed to be here. 

This was the absolute last place she wanted to be right now, and yet here she was; on the top floor of the Avengers base in New York, probably Tony’s most ritzy floor in the entire building. 

Tony decided for one reason or another to have a small party to celebrate their successful missions as of late, and that was fine but eventually people who had nothing to do with the Avengers showed up until it was packed. 

That was just one of the downsides to having Tony as a friend, he invited way too many people.

Tony had invited Bucky as well despite their history, seeing as how he was a friend to Steve and Tony considered Steve his friend so to each his own. 

Y/N could tell the moment they arrived that Bucky had been slightly nervous as well, and it was because of his nervousness that Y/N was adamant in staying. Not to mention that her best friend, Natasha would also be there. 

No matter how uncomfortable Y/N was at the party, she felt that since she was such a homebody that she should try to enjoy something she didn’t usually participate in. 

A whole lot of good that turned out to be. 

As soon as Y/N got there, Natasha had been distracted by a retired SHIELD agent who she knew but Y/N did not. 

And while she originally stayed with Bucky, Sam quickly dragged him away once he saw the man.

It left Y/N to fend for herself, which meant talking to people she barely knew. 

To make matters worse, every single person there was drinking. Wine, beer, whiskey, vodka, you name it, someone had it. 

The sight of any kind of alcohol made Y/N anxious. It reminded her too much of her family. 

When they began to drink they acted like completely different people, people she didn’t recognize and while her family had never done anything to hurt her, in some way it still pained her seeing how they could barely get through one day without a drink in their hands. 

She remembered the countless times she timidly admitted that she was worried because they drank so much and acted like…well not themselves. Sadly after saying so she’d be met with anger or frustration at the fact that she pointed out their unprecedented behavior. 

They would go on to say she didn’t know what she was talking about and that she was judging them, trying to tell them she thought she was better than they were.

Though once they’d sober up, they apologized for how they behaved and the guilt was clear in their eyes, but the damage was already done. 

So nowadays, alcohol (no matter the form) put her on edge. 

However, Y/N wasn’t going to prance around telling people they were wrong for drinking alcohol because in small doses, drinking was okay. It wouldn’t kill you to have an occasional drink, but when someone needed it every day, that was a problem. A problem she didn’t know how to deal with. 

Was it a problem though? Was she being dramatic? Maybe too sensitive or emotional? Perhaps a prude for her grudge against the fermented beverage? 

That’s what Y/N thought at least. 

Her brain rationalized that she was a weirdo, an odd duck because she refused to drink. 

I mean if everyone else was such a big fan of it, then why wasn’t she? 

Quickly, Y/N shook her head out of the creeping thoughts that entered without her permission.

Her ears suddenly tuned back to the receptionist that had been talking to her for the majority of the night, not missing the glass of wine in the lady’s hand. 

“Do you think that a date to a cafe is boring?” The young woman asked her. 

Y/N blinked a few times, trying to get her head back to reality. “Uh, no I don’t think so. Bucky and I go to the cafe all the time.” 

The girl tilted her head to the side, eyes squinting in confusion. “Bucky?”

“Oh! I’m sorry, you probably don’t know who that is, um…it’s that man over by the bar. The one with gloves and black leather jacket.” Y/N quickly explained while she pointed to Bucky talking to Sam at the bar. 

The lady turned to look over her shoulder immediately seeing him and expressing that she saw him. “Oh, yeah! James Barnes, right? The guy who used to be the Winter Soldier. How is he? Ya know, adjusting to the modern times.”

The mention of the name HYDRA gave him, caused Y/N to pause and slowly process what she was asking. 

God, she needed to get out of here. Her anxiety was short circuiting her brain. 

“Uh.. he’s fine I guess, things are still a bit new for him so it's a work in progress.” 

She watched the lady nod, cheerily, a little too cheerily when another woman walked over. Someone Y/N, yet again, did not know. 

“Hey, Christine! How are you?” 

The receptionist beamed with a smile. “I’m doing great, Nicole, how are you? Did you get that new job?”

The two ladies began to chit chat amongst themselves, side stepping Y/N’s existence entirely. Not that she really gave a shit since she didn’t know these girls personally. 

Though she decided to stay for another ten minutes in case one of them did want to talk to her, but once the topic of the woman, Nicole's dog came up, Y/N ditched the conversation all together. 

Her feet subconsciously carried her to the man she desperately wanted to be beside. 

Y/N heard the familiar sound of Bucky’s laughter at something Sam said, causing the slightest of smiles to appear across her face. 

Unfortunately, the smile vanished when her eyes caught the shape of two shot glasses sitting beside them on top of the bar. 

Don’t freak out. She scolded herself, putting on an act as she stepped beside the two men. 

“Hey.”

Bucky met her gaze first, his hand coming up instinctively to rest on her back. “Hey, Doll.” 

“What are you guys up to?” Y/N asked while faking a casual attitude. 

“Just trading stories.” Bucky said, grinning from ear to ear. 

Clearly, he was completely relaxed, and Y/N knew that was thanks to Sam. He definitely had the lighthearted aura that Bucky needed, someone who let him look forward to the future. 

“And playing an old drinking game.” Sam added loudly over top of the music that was playing.

Suddenly her throat felt dry like she just swallowed sand. It was beginning to get hard to breath, to think, to calm down. The familiar rush of panic began to rise from the pit of her stomach to her heart causing it to thump harshly. 

Oh no. 

Y/N gulped. “Oh yeah…” 

“Yeah, so how about you join us?” Sam suggested, already pouring liquor into another shot glass. He held it up in front of him, toward Y/N. 

She felt her heart rate spike right then as she eyed the brown-ish colored liquid with an all too familiar smell. 

“No thanks, I’m good.” She declined politely, trying to keep her voice from cracking. 

Sam pushed it closer to her. “Oh come on, don’t be like that. Just one.” 

Sweat began to fall from her pores, her throat felt tight, and her tongue was heavy. For a second, she doubted she could speak at all. 

“I said no, Sam, I-I don’t want it.” Her nerves caused her body to tremble with anxiety, the recipe for a panic attack. 

Her brain knew exactly what was happening, making her repeat the same phrase in her mind. 

Don’t freak out. 

Don’t freak out. 

Don’t Freak Out. 

DON’T Freak Out.

DON’T FREAK OUT!

“One shot, that’s it.” Sam persisted.

Then she snapped. “I SAID, I didn’t want it, Sam!” 

As quickly as it came the shocked expression on both Bucky and Sam’s face, cleared away the anger and what washed over her was an enormous amount of guilt. 

Her eyes darted between the two men, sight becoming clouded with tears. “I- I’m so sorry…” 

She actually whimpered before turning on her heel, and sprinting right out the door on that floor. 

Y/N barely made it into the hallway when the tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. She sobbed as she ran down the empty space, hoping to get out from the four walls as soon as possible. 

Luckily, she was aware of a balcony just around the corner.

On the first day that she visited the inside of the Avengers base, she had found a little balcony tucked away a few floors below the very top. When at the vase, she spent a lot of time on that balcony just taking in the city view. 

It was the perfect spot to go unbothered for long periods of time and now she desperately needed that. 

She took a sharp right turn down another hallway, breaking off into a section that was the balcony. She pushed past the glass door, and stumbled outside until her body collided with the railing. 

Her hands gripped the railing, body hutching over, and breaths coming out in hurried huffs of air. 

Knowing that no one would hear her from below or above, Y/N let herself openly cry into the night air. 

Every little memory of her family drinking, every thought of frustration or sadness, every time she’d been rejected came to the forefront of her mind. Despite all the years that passed, the despair still felt fresh. 

She selfishly wished they would’ve stopped drinking, stopped acting like idiots, stopped promising they’d stop then do it again, stopped betraying her trust, stopped dismissing her when she expressed her concern. 

Just stopped. 

Y/N knew that they were only human, and humans were inherently flawed; of course she knew that. She had largely forgiven the times they hurt her, as she was sure that they forgave her when she hurt them, but she could never shake the sorrow of this ongoing problem. 

How many times did she have to go through this before it stopped hurting? 

What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to solve this? 

Had she not done enough? Too much?

What did she do wrong?

That last thought caused her body to go slack against the railing, and fall to the balcony floor. She sat on her knees with her hands planted to the floor, tears dripping from her cheeks as her face looked down. 

It had been a long time since she last cried so hard, and she already could feel her eyes swelling from the pressure. 

Y/N continued to cry for several minutes, heavy pants escaping her mouth even as she attempted to calm her breathing. It just wasn’t happening. 

Nothing pulled her out of her broken state until she heard the sound of someone stepping out onto the balcony. 

“Y/N?” A familiar voice gently spoke. 

She might’ve stopped crying had it been anyone else, but not Bucky. However, she made no attempt to speak, instead she shook her head. 

He stepped even closer to her, pausing just short of a few steps then crouched down. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

Finally, she found her voice. “I just don’t understand. I don’t understand why they drank so much because all it does is make them act like fools, act like people I don’t know.” 

The confession left Bucky a little confused as he wasn’t sure who she was referring to, but he stayed silent, simply letting her get it out. 

“They didn’t used to, they used to have fun without it, used to live without it. But once they started, they never stopped. And it was always so much, but when I told them I was worried for them they got angry with me, like I was attacking them.” She paused as a sob stuttered out. 

Bucky placed both hands on her shoulders, fully sinking down onto the floor with her. 

“I just wanted them to take care of themselves, I wanted them to go back to the way they used to be, be the people I know instead of being these entirely different people.” She brought one of her hands to cover her mouth to somehow silence the gut wrenching cry that hurt her throat. 

That time Bucky wrapped his arms around her, bringing her inside his warm embrace. She reciprocated by doing the same, tucking her face into his shoulder, and blind to the tear marks she left on his jacket. 

“I love them so much, and I just wanted them to be okay, to be healthy. But all I ever got was rejection, especially whenever I said that it made me uncomfortable when they drank. It’s like they didn’t care! No matter what, it just-” 

She didn’t finish opting to cry and hold Bucky as if he were her lifeline. In a way, he was. 

He cradled the back of her head, the other arm securing her body against him. “Shh, shh it’s okay, sweetheart it’s okay. I’m here.” 

Bucky felt Y/N shake her head on his shoulder. “I feel so stupid for being so upset, because I know that a lot of people drink, it’s me that’s the weird one.”

“No, darling, you’re not.” 

“They made so many promises, saying they would stop but they never did and I tried to be understanding. I really did, but it didn’t matter. We ended up right back to where we started. I don’t know what to do or how I’m supposed to feel. I hate this!” 

Y/N was breathing hard, so much so Bucky thought she was on the cusp of hyperventilating. “Darling, I know that this is hard, but I need to take a deep breath. On three, you’ll breathe through your nose then out through your mouth okay?” 

“I can’t..” She shook her head, making a gasping like sound when she sobbed again. 

“You can, I promise. Just breathe with me, listen to me. One..two..three, breath in.” Bucky then inhaled through his nose, hearing Y/N do the same albeit a little shaky. “Breathe out…” 

Both of them exhaled through the mouth, and he noticed that she trembled a little less now. 

“That’s good, let’s try it again okay? Breathe in….” 

She closed her eyes, following his instructions. 

“Breathe out…” 

They did that together several more times, and Y/N eventually came back to the present and calmly took in the world around her. The warmth of his embrace, the sound of his breathing, his heartbeat, the hand rubbing her back up and down, all of it.

Instead of being forced back to the real world, it felt as though someone had gently grabbed a hold of her hand and guided her back to a place of serenity. 

Bucky carefully pulled back, letting his hands stay on her back. “Are you okay? Feel a little calmer?”

Y/N gave a slight nod, wiping away a few of her tears. 

“Tell me what’s wrong, I promise I’ll listen, I’ll do whatever you need.” He reassured as he kept his voice low and soft so he wouldn’t overwhelm her. 

So she told him. 

She told him about how when she was a kid, her family began to drink and had never stopped. How irresponsibly they acted, how mad they got at her for bringing it up, their apologies while heartfelt didn’t change anything, and how much it had impacted her over the years as well as how silly she felt for being so panicked about it. 

In her mind, alcohol was something that everyone in the entire world had and took part in and so she thought perhaps she was the inconvenient one for choosing a different way of life. 

“That’s a lot to deal with.” Bucky said hushedly, sitting on the floor beside Y/N. 

She resorted to pulling her knees up to rest her chin on top of them. “I know.”

There was a lul of silence between them, the sounds of the bustling city way down below the only thing they could hear. 

Then Y/N sighed, throat still thick from crying. “The thing that kills me is that they’re good people, I mean they gave me a great childhood and everything. I just want better for them.” 

Bucky shook his head in her defense. “But Y/N you can still love them and not agree with the choices they make. And even if drinking is something a lot of people do, you’re not stupid for wanting nothing to do with it.”

“I know that too. It makes me sad though, they can’t seem to live without it; that’s not who they used to be.” 

Y/N felt the slightest bit of tears return to her eyes causing her to lift her head up and look toward the sky. 

Bucky noticed right away so he wrapped one arm around her shoulder, and tugged her toward him. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s alright to be sad about it, but listen: you are not responsible for what your family decides to do. They have the freedom to make those choices, that’s not something you can control.” 

She looked over to the love of her life, all teary eyed and despaired. Bucky lifted his hand up to wipe a lone tear that managed to escape. 

“If what you said is true, then your family does care about you. That’s a good thing, but they can’t expect you to be alright with the actions that make you uncomfortable and they’ll have to accept that you're not okay with it.” 

Y/N laid her head on his shoulder, face tucked into his neck. He then brought both of his arms around her, beginning to slowly rock back and forth. “What’s important is that you focus on trying to live your life, and not letting them take over your’s. Yes, continue to love them, but ultimately they gotta own their own decisions and not rely on you to tell them.”

He felt the familiar movement of her nodding as she pushed herself further into his side. He was a bit convinced that if she could disappear into him, she would. 

Most times, he felt the same. 

“Bucky?” Her small voice made its way to his ears. 

“Yes?” He whispered back to her. 

“I love you.” 

The super soldier smiled that time. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“No, no, no. None of that.” The man quickly interjected. “You don’t let me apologize for the problems I have so I won’t let you.” 

For the first time that night, Y/N laughed. “Okay, okay, I won’t apologize. Sorry.”

Bucky sighed. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Love me.” Y/N said, pulling back from his shoulder to kiss his cheek. 

“I believe I already do that, Doll.” He smirked then leaned into kiss her cheek too.

Suddenly, Bucky jerked back a bit and immediately went to his back pocket and he pulled out his phone. 

“It’s Sam.” He clicked the answer button then held it up to his ear. “Yeah, Sam?” 

Sitting next to him, Y/N made out some of what was being said, but not all of it. All she could gauge from the conversation was what Bucky said aloud. 

“I’m with her right now. She’s okay now, why?” 

He paused for a moment before pulling the phone away from his ear. “He said he wants to talk to you, are you okay with that?”

“Yeah.” Y/N took the phone from his hand and held it up. “Sam?”

“Y/N, I just want to say I’m sorry for being like that. I am a little tipsy, and I know I can be a bit much when I’m tipsy so I’m really sorry.” 

Y/N managed to smile. “It’s okay, Sam. And I’m sorry for yelling at you, I wasn’t really mad at you, it's just I let some…personal stuff get to me and I took it out on you.”

“No, it’s alright. I was being pushy, so next I promise I’ll tone it down.”

“Thanks, Sam. I appreciate that. Have a good night.” As soon as she heard him say good night, she handed the phone back to Bucky. He quickly said his goodbye then hung up. 

After he put his phone into his pocket, he looked to Y/N. “What do you say to some Chinese food and a movie back home?” 

“I’d like that.” She eagerly agreed, her once saddened expression turned delighted. 

“Alrighty then.” Bucky breathed, clapping his hands together briefly like he was gathering his thoughts before getting up off the ground. He held his hand out to Y/N who took it without hesitation, letting him pull her up from the floor. 

When she got to her feet, Bucky pulled her against his chest, eyes staring lovingly down at her. “You ready?” 

“I’m ready.” 

He pecked her lips, taking pride in her slightly embarrassed expression coupled with a bashful grin. 

Bucky grabbed a hold of her hand, intertwining their fingers together and gave it a reassuring squeeze. 

Y/N did the same, giggling when he looked back at her while heading back inside the building. The entire time, from the base to the Chinese restaurant to their apartment, Y/N’s mind kept returning to the moment she panicked to the moment Bucky found her and helped her. 

That always happened whenever the shit hit the fan, however, she realized this had been the first time she had someone to tell about what was going on inside her head. He was the first person to listen and not get upset because she admitted what was bothering her. 

She couldn’t tell her family about this problem because they were the problem, so she kept it inside. 

Having Bucky by her side reminded her that she didn’t have to live life alone, stuck in her head, but instead could work through these problems without being judged. 

For that, she was grateful. Unyieldingly grateful.

a/n: If you’re reading this, thanks for making it all the way through. Sorry if this was a convoluted mess, things were really tough for me yesterday and it’s kind of difficult to explain and kinda makes no sense, but writing in this form helps a little. Regardless, hope you guys are having a good day. Looking forward to finishing the next chapter for “A Past Encounter,” so keep an eye out for that. 

[khlorhine]

Jjk oc opinions

Kitagawa Tamaki edition

I don't have any new art so make do with this slightly older drawing that was hidden in a week old post. Please click the link for info on her background. That's her boyfriend to the side as a human, his name is Fuyuki Mitsuya.

It's mentioned later in the post but I prefer reading powerscaling stuff over shipping stuff so correct me if my characterisation if a character is wrong. I love making cursed techniques. Ask me about cursed techniques, I'll happily brainstorm some with you. I feel like my chaarcter is too much of a Mary sue because other than two characters in here everyone is either indifferent to her and doesn't hate her.

Mai Zenin

Mai only hung around Tamaki because she was strong. It's the same reason why Mai hangs around Todo although she prefers Tamaki over him because she didn't have as bad as a personality as him and she finds it easier to get along with girls. Tamaki liked this type of relationship at first because Mai didn't point out her irregularities, just silently judges her. Mai stopped after Tamaki got into a fight with her dad, Ogi, which in turn caused her to get into a fight with Naoya and lose. It put a bad impression on her clan so she just stopped talking to her for a while. She realised she relied too much on other people like how she relied to much on Maki back when she was in that clan. After that they're doing pretty great together. Also Tamaki’s trying to teach Mai how to use rct because she wants to see what a cursed technique reversal would look like with construction.

Kasumi Miwa

The only thing they had in common with one another was the fact that they used swords. There is another swordsman, two years above them (oc: Sai Mizuhara) but hes a first grade and barely had time to train her. Tamaki couldn't train very well with her since she doesn't have a technique to build on so she manipulated Miwa's cursed energy in a way that would emulate a few of her non innate techniques until she got the hang of it. In contrast Miwa helped her with barrier techniques because she just sucked at them, thinking they were literal shields rather than seperators of different zones. After Tamaki went through a switch in weapons their weaponry training started to pick up the pace. Their personalities don't mesh well though, Miwa thinks she's scary in the the same way she thinks Todo and Kamo are scary because she's always itching for a fight.

Kokichi Muta

Mechamaru has information on her that only the principal has like the fact that she killed her boyfriend, and when he came back as a curse she turned him into a human curse hybrid. His heavenly restriction was unfortunate but his (oc: Mitsuya Fuyuki) was deliberate. He empatises with him because it wasn't his choice in the matter, therefore he can't bring himself to like her. Tamaki does not like him either because his technique has a lot of potential that he just does not take advantage of.

(Ok I know this is opinions but there's like a whole body swapping part where a curse switches their body and I wanna write it so bad but I literally only have a third of Tamaki's backstory (mind you backstory it's still in the first arc) written so writing something like two arcs ahead is just stupid. Basically they start to respect each other because in Tamaki's body, mechamaru develops a heat blueprint (refer to the licked post up there) and Tamaki does some insane RCT in his body that can only be done with his amount of cursed energy using it basically how mahito does with his own body but with RCT. This is because mechamaru wants to live in a body where he's not in pain all the time and Tamaki wants to prove to him how cool his body is and also because she wants her body back she can't do her experiments as well as she normally can in his body)

Aoi Todo

He mistakenly thought she had a thing for cursed spirits when he first saw her and he respected her on the basis that she wasn't boring until she corrected him, telling him she would quite literally date anyone who talked to her because she talks too much about jujutsu and nobody liked her at her old school, which caused them to get into a fight. They're pretty good allies though since they're both strong and the fact that they were both initially trained by special grades before their enrollment. (I realise most of the characters compare her to him but I really am bad at describing relationships when all I want to do is make up overpowered abilities. I'm more of a powerscaler than a shipper)

Momo Nishimiya

She's kinda weak so I can't go on a tirade about improving techniques with my oc because tool manipulation in theory is super awesome but I don't know the limitations of her abilities. It's definitely not weight since she can carry a fucking panda and three humans including herself on the broom. It probably has to do with focus, I guess she just can't split it between two different tools but if that's the case why can't she carry around a spare knife to throw at someone when she's not on her broom. That leads me to another theory where she can only manipulate objects she herself cursed but she's not part of the main cast so why do I even care so much.

Being serious here, Nishimiya is cool with Tamaki because she often breaks gender norms though Tamaki cannot get along with her because she used to care so much about not being normal that having a reminder that she's actively go against that makes her freak a little because she already knows all that she just doesn't want anyone to vocalise it to her. Also she feels her technique is under utilised.

Noritoshi Kamo

Noritoshi does not like Tamaki because she's experimented with making human curse hybrids before. Her obsession with his evil namesake ancestor doesn't help either. He can respect her for her strength but Tamaki genuinely can't understand why his clan is in the big three when the six eyes and ten shadows are much better techniques than blood manipulation which doesn't help their relationship. She beats the fuck out of his half brother (oc: Takayoshi Kamo, he's doing illegal stuff so it's justified sort of), takes away his technique(s because he eats a death painting and gets blood manipulation) so now he just sees her the same way he sees Todo. Bad personality but reliable. Also free rct. She heals him when he asks and she's also teaching him how to use it as long as he does her favours like ask his half-brother stupid questions in his jail cell or give her his blood or let her take a peak at the remaining eight death paintings. Stuff like that.

Arata Nitta

Arata just sees her as a bit overbearing because she fixates specifically on him for rct training. His technique is really useful in medical situations and Kyoto tech does not have a dedicated healer. This so also because she killed her boyfriend and in the moment developed rct but was very sucky with it so having someone like Arata to step in would've been pretty good so it's mainly done out of guilt for being a sucky person.

Iori Utahime

Utahime understood her situation from Gojo and tried her best to guide her in the right direction. Tamaki, at the time, couldn't respect her at all because she only cared about hyper offensive techniques and her aggression fucked her over in a few fights. After that Utahime suggested she practice weapon forms, kind of like Utahime's dances and she got better at handing her emotions and started respecting her teacher.

Yoshinobu Gakuganji

He wants her DRUGGED, BEAT, EXCECUTED, BURNED, AND THROWN INTO THE OCEAN. jk it's not that serious but he does want her dead. She used to work with Geto and he thinks she's a bad influence on his students since he cares about them so much. He's a traditionalist in every way and everything Tamaki does is the complete opposite of what he wants. He prefers her in Kyoto tech rather than Tokyo tech because this way she can be closer supervised and taken care of the moment she steps out of line unlike in Tokyo where Gojo would be prevent that.

Tsukumo Yuki

They can respect each other but they just don't get along. Yuki wants a world without cursed energy but jujutsu is the only thing Tamaki is good at so to take it away would make her life miserable. It doesn't help that Tamaki’s technique could also be used to increase or reduce someone's cursed energy levels or take away techniques so Yuki has an excuse to bug her. They like to talk about research but it gets real awkward when Yuki tries to bring up that subject. It also gets awkward when Tamaki starts accidently talking about evil ancestor Noritoshi because no jujutsu sorcerer likes him. Tamaki really likes Tsukumo in terms of jujutsu. She knows rct, domain expansion, it's very heavy hitting which is what Tamaki likes.

Suguru Geto

He was her mentor. They have pretty similar techniques since they can both manipulate curses so he was a great teacher for her. Geto can give commands to his cursed but they can think for themselves, Tamaki's just takes away whatever free will they have and contorts their body since she can't manipulate their souls, just the part of them that is cursed energy but whatever overlap they had was very helpful. Initially he wanted to keep her away from all this because she didn't hate non-sorcerers. He's got a soft spot for her and while he was dying, rather than tell her to regroup with the others he told her to go to Satoru Gojo because that kind of path would've been better for her. Shes not very grateful for that because she could've been working with Kenjaku if she had gone back but she doesn't hate him for that because that's just stupid and he was a really nice teacher to her.

Kenjaku

He inherited Geto's soft spot for her when he took over his body. She has a very clear obsession with him because of his want for pushing jujutsu to its limit meanwhile Kenjaku thinks she's a great back up body if Geto's were to ever perish because she's got a good technique. Kenjaku's genuinely never heard of her before he took over his body but he finds her interesting even without her technique with what he knows now. They don't share the same opinions on some things though. Kenjaku is very disappointed with all his creations because they never go beyond himself, meanwhile Tamaki loves his creations because they're the physical proof of what jujutsu could be and the building blocks of most of her creations which she loves very much so she could never understand why he'd even be disappointed. Being able to create something, anything is an amazing feat, especially for someone as academically challenged as she is.

Choso

Tamaki really likes him but never tried to talk to him because she knows Noritoshi finds her gross for liking Kenjaku but she doesn't care because they still work together fine regardless of that but with Choso so she wants to respect his boundaries and they are never forced into working with eachother so they can't even form a similar relationship to what she has with Noritoshi. Choso doesn't hate her though because if Yuji is fine with her then he is too. He knows she only likes Kenjaku for his research but telling this to her isn't his main priority since they're not really a big thing in eachothers lives.

Yuji Itadori

They met after her head injury so she was a bit crazy compared to how she was with Megumi and Nobara when they talked. She was in the room when Sukuna revived him and his body was what interested her the most because it was strong like someone with a heavenly restriction but also held tons of cursed energy thanks to sukuna's fingers. She's weird around him because of sukuna, she likes to ask questions about what it's like being a vessel and holding another person inside your body so obviously he thinks she's weird but from what he's heard from Kugisaki and Fushiguro she's reliable so he thinks that too.

Megumi Fushiguro

They met when she was working under Geto. Tamaki never told him this though but he was aware of the fact that she's a curse user, he just chose not to mention it to anyone but Gojo picked up on it because duh he has the six eyes. Megumi thinks she has a good personality since she got along with his sister in the time Tsumiki was still alive and conscious. During the sister exchange event he was surprised to see her again as a sorcerer and not a curse user and they exchanged contacts after it. The ten shadows is a very good technique so she's really excited to see him eventually tame all the ten shadows. (That never happens through megumis hands) At least she has his permission to disect him when he dies.

Nobara Kugisaki

They initially met in a one off interation when she was still working with Geto. Nobara thought she was kinda wimpy but the wimpy type that she should protect because she's a city girl and not used to the countryside. During the sister exchange event Nobara was happy to see her and was pleasantly surprised to see Tamaki be a bit unhinged. They also got each others contact after that. Tamaki also enjoys Nobara technique. Techniques that are accociated with the soul are really interesting to her.

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For the next bit I have to say Tamaki was involved in the night parade on Geto's side like she was literally with him and fighting yuta and stuff and she also fought a few of the Tokyo seconds years.

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Maki Zenin

Tamaki thinks she hates her for being aligned with Geto when they met. Maki can empathise with her because Tamaki did it to practice jujutsu when she couldn't under her uncles supervision and Maki moved from Kyoto to Tokyo so she can get revenge on her clan so they're not that different. Tamaki thinks her heavenly restriction is cool and (unlike another person with a heavenly restriction) she's making the most of it. Maki would like to see what weapons Tamaki has inside her cursed spirit's inventory. (It's mainly non-weaponty like furniture, dirt, sand, stuff that you can throw at an opponent and now care about wasting stuff)

Inumaki Toge

Not much to say to eachother. They don't talk (haha get it) so they can't form personal opinions on each other. She can form opinions on his jujutsu though. It's decent but the drawbacks aren't worth it in her opinion for someone of his caliber but he's utilising it the best he can and he's a fast runner. She's never seen him do hand to hand or use weapons and imbue them with cursed energy. Maybe it's a binding vow to increase his speech technique.

Panda

He's a panda, pandas don't hold grudges or at least that's what I think he would say. She thinks his technique is OK but it's really all Yaga's doing so she's not very interested in him.

Yuta Okkotsu

He beat her in a fight once and all he got from that is that she's mentally unstable and should seek help (she won't). Because he's not much of a fighter his opinion of her ties strictly to her background and not her capabilities. He can relate with her because they both have dead lovers that they kind of brought back from the dead in a weird and twisted way. He thinks she should try to let her dead bf go because it'll help her mental health (She really doesn't want him to point that out though because she know it's healthier for her but she just doesn't want to let him go).

Kinji Hakari

He thinks she has a lot of fever. She's always itching for a fight so he likes her. Tamaki likes him, he's easy to get along with and he's also the basis for a few of her moves. Their domain hand signs both come from the seven lucky gods and the 24 devas (benzaiten and bishamonten) so they're good buds.

Kirara Hoshi

Tamaki thinks her technique is really cool while Kirara likes her for her hair. Somehow it's not damaged from all of Tamaki's black hair dye. (Idk what else to say, Kirara has only ever been shown using it once as far as I'm aware, defensively but I'm sure she makes good use of it. I can imagine it being used as a homing missile and stuff. It's such a cool concept.)

Satoru Gojo

So they officially met after Geto's death and he kind of sees her as the last bit of Geto, like a gift from him to Gojo. Obviously this means he has to protect her but it was her choice to go to Kyoto tech so it was harder to do the from Tokyo, especially with how much trouble she causes but shes still somehow alive. Gojo thinks her curse is kinda cute, if not a bit unhealthy. Love is a curse and something something idk where I was going with that. Tamaki honestly regrets not going to Tokyo tech to study under him. He's very strong and with his six eyes he could honestly give her some really helpful pointers. She knows more than she should about him because of Geto lol.

Shoko Ieiri

Besties honestly. Shoko was the one who helped refine Tamaki’s rct. Every once in a while Tamaki goes to Tokyo to talk to her and also take off some of her workload.

Masamichi Yaga

He can make an army but he chooses not to, the fuck? At least everyone who comes out of his school is strong.

[nocturnal-phantoms-fandoms]

C A T for the ask game please hehe 😻

Cat!! My dearest Shrutual <3333

(Im going to answer alphabetically. Also this got so long omg)

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

I do have OTPs :D wolfstar and stucky (also previously: klance but im not into them as much anymore)

I even have a meme for this occasion:

other ships from the marauders fandom:

wolfstarbucks <333 wolfbucks and prongsfoot are alright too but not in the long run, I think I prefer them as a trio (everyone is there and all is well and everyone is happy. I get sad when R isnt there and im worried about S's whereabouts when he isnt there, so. Trio)

jily - i wouldnt call myself a jily shipper per se, but its also very dear to me <3333. Would choose a fic with them as a supporting ship over alternatives when reading r/s , thats for sure.

james & sirius friendship but also remus & james friendship!!

basically... sirius and remus and sometimes james an lily. in any configuration at this point

(there are other ships I like from hp, mcu and other fandoms but im not into them that much at this very moment)

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Oh boy. Do I have to choose just one?

Stony.

... Ok that wasnt that hard.

I dont like Tony, I dont care about him, I dont like their relationship we saw in the films (tho i havent read the comics so im judging just the films), Im not into enemies to lovers, there is nothing for me there. zero, zip, nada.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Thats a really hard question bc apart from fighting "mainstream" fanon with canon info i dont think im that invested about most headcanons? so, i will try. i will not elaborate tho.

if sirius was into any muggle subculture it would be punk

black brothers weren't tortured with cruciatus every other day for any minor inconvenience they caused. sirius was abused psychologically and emotionally and until the last second walburga hoped he would come back and take the role of the heir he was supposed to.

regulus wasnt forced into becoming a DE, but he did it bc he wanted to prove himself

alphard was gay and had muggle lover(s)

sirius would become a curse breaker, a social worker, an activist, a mechanic or an engineer or something like that. idk why but i dont like it when he's a healer/doctor. However I can see sirius joining the aurors with james, but i think he would resign not long after finishing training when he realises he cant fix the system from the inside. idk if james would resign tho.

if we assume that the marauders form a pack, its not remus who is the alpha, even while in wolf form

the last one im adding just bc i saw a post about it right before i started answering this ask: the full moon doesnt make remus horny. its a traumatic experience for him and he associates it with everything he fears - pain and loosing control. for a few days before the full he feels sick and weak and he hates everything and sirius has to fight tooth and nail to just get him under a blanket for a cuddle. right after the full he is exhausted and in pain. the further from the full the easier it is to get him in the mood, basically. (i feel like im the only one. at least on this one post every response was the opposite. i read just one ff with a similar thing - where its the new moon that makes werewolves horny.) i am not opposed to remus being horny right after the full tho

las one I just remembered: the hogwarts express has more than two stops. for gods sake. those kids arent travelling to London from Edinburgh just to spend the whole day on the train on the way back. (check out this map) all of the stations have platforms like 3 ⅓, 2 ⅚ and so on of course.

ask game

[actress4him]

Querencia 15 - Park Day

The enthusiastic response I got on the last piece I posted helped motivate me to keep going! This is the actual chronologically next chapter, coming in a month or two after Mind Control. Enjoy!

Taglist: @darthsutrich , @inky-whump , @painful-pooch , @pigeonwhumps , @bookworm2107

Previous | Next | Masterlist

Contains: referenced mind control, referenced parental abandonment, fear of abandonment, broken bone, a couple more warnings in the tags to avoid spoilers here

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Things have been fairly normal since the whole “supervillain getting in Jamil’s head and making him attack everyone” incident. Dagger is still a near-weekly problem, along with Meltdown and whoever else he happens to be hanging out with at the moment. Other villains come and go, too, some low-level Supers like Reaper and Gibbous, along with non-Super nuisances that the team does their best to curb, too - bank robbers and muggers and kidnappers and such.

No one has heard anything from or about Luna. Then again, no one had heard of her before the incident, either. Which means she’s probably still out there, and could very well be biding her time until she can strike again. None of them ever really talk about her, but Liliana can feel anxiety hanging in the air that wasn’t there before, especially on poor Jamil’s part.

Luna knows exactly where they live, what they look like without their masks on. Probably knows their names and where they work, thanks to rummaging through Jamil’s brain. So not only could she easily return, but she could also tell others the information she learned. They don’t know who she might be associated with. They managed to pin down Reaper one day and quiz him about her and any other new villains in town, but he was less than helpful on the subject.

Even if they could track her down and catch her, Liliana has learned from snippets of conversation that they really have nothing to do with her. It’s something she’s never thought of before, but one reason that there are still so many supervillains around is that there’s no way to arrest them. The government likely could detain them, but no one trusts that it would be humane or that the heroes wouldn’t also be captured in the process of trying to hand them over. Just the thought of the government locking them up makes Liliana sick to her stomach, villains or not.

Normal jails can’t handle them. Normal courtrooms can’t, either, in order to convict them to send them to jail. And no hero wants to be in charge of locking them away themselves, even if they did have the space and technology.

So all they can do for now is damage control, really. Try to stop their crimes as often as they can, try to disrupt whatever plans they have. She doesn’t envy the team their jobs. Between supervillains, regular criminals, and their day jobs, they’re constantly busy.

Every other Saturday, though, after everyone who’s working gets home, they make it a point to go do something together. Since Liliana’s been with them they’ve seen a couple of movies, gone to an arcade, had a picnic, gone to the mall, and eaten out at restaurants a few times. Every experience is a huge deal for her, though she tries to make light of the awe she feels. It’s just been so long since she’s done such normal, fun things. Sometimes she feels like she’s watching someone else’s life.

Today, they’re at the city park. No one can remember whose idea it was to start with, but “the children” - as Quinn likes to fondly dub Nari, Alex, and Jamil - went crazy over the thought of playing on the playground, so here they are. It’s late enough that all of the actual children have gone home. Jamil is trying out every slide, while Quinn judges Nari and Alex in a series of competitions on the monkey bars. Liliana watches everyone from the side, a small smile on her face, but every once in a while she glances over at the empty swings.

Swinging used to be her favorite. Especially on park or school swings like these, with the long chains that could take you so high you felt like you were flying. She and Mila used to see who could go the highest, and try to swing themselves right over the top bar.

It feels silly and childish now. She can’t swing herself right now, anyway. She healed another broken rib - on Nari this time - earlier this week, just a couple of weeks after the pain from Alex’s had finally faded. So there’s no way that she can pump the chains on a swing.

Still…she could just sit in one. That won’t hurt anything. Glancing over at the chin-up contest again, she makes her way over and settles into the plastic seat, gloved hands gripping the chains loosely. Her toes just barely reach the ground, giving her enough leverage that she can give herself a little push. The swing rocks gently. Liliana watches her sneakers as they brush across the dirt, back and forth. She pushes again and swings a little more. Such a simple motion, but it brings so many childhood memories flooding into her mind.

“May I give you a push?”

The sudden question makes her jump and look back over her shoulder, though she recognizes the voice. Jamil is standing behind her with a smile on his face, cheeks flushed from his adventures down the slides.

“Oh, um…y-you don’t have to, I’m…I’m fine.”

“I know I don’t have to, but I’d like to, if you’d like to swing. If not, I’ll leave you be!”

Now her mind is at war. She automatically wants to say no, not wanting to inconvenience him or make him do things for her.

She also really, really wants to swing.

Somehow, without her actually deciding what to say, “Sure?” slips out.

“Alright, hang on!”

Suddenly, she’s flying through the air, and it’s exactly how she remembers it. Colors rush by as the wind blows her curls back off her shoulders, then tangles them around her cheeks again. She grabs onto the chains tighter. Her legs automatically fall into a pumping motion, toes pointing out at the horizon, her eyes bright with exhilaration.

Yes, it pulls at her rib a bit. But she finds she doesn’t really care.

She’s been swinging for a few minutes, oblivious to anything else around her, when another voice breaks in. “Hold on tight, I’m coming through!” A set of hands grab the swing by her hips and shove forward, higher and faster until she’s sure she actually is going to go over the top bar, or more likely, fall out the back of the swing. She squeals in shock, though this sensation is familiar, too. Then she’s dropped abruptly, her stomach following the motion, the swing’s momentum twisting it back and forth as it reaches the bottom again.

Alex is turned around watching her, laughing. He’d come up from behind and grabbed the swing, running all the way underneath it.

Her brother used to do the very same thing, back when she was small enough he could lift her.

“Did I scare you?”

“A, a little.” She’s smiling, though. She can’t help it, even with the pain in her side and the melancholy of missing what used to be.

These people…they treat her like a family should. Better than her family ever did, though she feels like a traitor for thinking it.

She shouldn’t fall for it. If her real family taught her anything, it’s that what seems like love and care won’t last and can’t be trusted. If her own flesh and blood eventually turned on her, then she can’t expect people who were strangers a few months ago to be any different.

But right now, she’s shoving those thoughts deep, deep down. She can worry about all of that later. Right now, for once, she’s going to let herself enjoy the moment.

Nari is shoving and punching Alex and playfully fussing at him for scaring Liliana, and Jamil has jumped up on the swing next to her, standing on one foot and pumping with his arms. She doesn’t move from her spot, just keeps smiling and watching their antics. They’re so full of life and joy, even with the stress they constantly face.

Before long Quinn takes up Jamil’s position without a word, and she’s swinging again. Alex and Jamil balance on the seesaw, attempting circus tricks, screaming like girls when Nari uses her power to make the metal move beneath them, which sends her into fits of laughter.

It’s late when they finally pile into Quinn’s car to head back to HQ. Everyone is tired in a contented way. Alex leans the passenger seat back practically into Nari’s lap, claiming he’s going to take a nap, while she kicks his headrest repeatedly and threatens him. Quinn clears his throat loudly, though, and quiet falls to let him focus and not overwhelm him with sound in the small space.

Liliana leans her head back and watches the moon out the sunroof. Her hands are tucked between her knees to keep her arms from brushing up against Jamil and Nari, who each lean into their respective doors to give her more space. It’s…peaceful. She’s pretty sure she hears someone snoring. She could fall asleep, too, honestly, which is surprising for her since she doesn’t usually feel comfortable sleeping unless she’s alone.

The motion of the car does lull her into a near-dozing state. Her eyes are closed and she’s absentmindedly trying to picture which turn they’re taking when someone gasps and the car suddenly jerks to one side. Liliana’s eyes fly open and she sits up abruptly. There’s a bump and a loud popping and hissing sound, then the car is swerving uncontrollably, headlights sweeping back and forth across the empty road.

The seconds seem to pass in slow motion. Her hands are gripping the seats in front of her, eyes fixated out the front windshield. A cacophony of screams and shouted words fill the car as the steeply sloped side of the road looms in front of them, cutting off abruptly as they tip over the side and begin to fall.

Gravity inverts, and for a moment she’s weightless before being slammed back down. Her temple smashes into something hard and unyielding. Images are swimming through the darkness around her - a cracked window, slumped figures. A beam of light making her wince and turn away.

Someone groans. The car shakes as a door is forced open.

“This one’s still awake.”

“Here, use the syringe.”

There’s movement around her, the click of seatbelts unbuckling too loud in her ears.

“Wait, why are there five?”

“What?”

“This one, who is she? She’s not one of the usuals, is she?”

“Doesn’t matter, just grab her.”

Something is very, very wrong, but she can’t make her body work to do anything about it. The darkness outside is creeping closer inward. She feels her seatbelt loosen and a pair of hands latch onto her, but the darkness closes in completely before she can protest.

[statecryptids]

Another book review! I was hoping to post this back in October for spooky season, but work and class got in the way. So I'm posting it now to start off the new year.

MARY'S MONSTER

written and illustrated by Lita Judge

The common story of how Mary Shelley came to write Frankenstein is that she conceived the plot during a ghost-writing contest while she, her lover Percy Bysshe Shelley, and her sister Claire were staying at the manor house of Lord Byron and his personal physician, John Polidori. Some might add that she took inspiration from an experiment in galvanism she had witnessed a few weeks earlier.  But Lita Judge’s evocative book, told through prose poetry, posits that the novel grew for many years within Mary’s mind, sewn together from the tragedies and drama of her life. It grew from the deaths that surrounded her: her children; her neglected sister; Percy Shelley’s abandoned first wife; and Mary’s own mother who died giving birth to her. It grew from her feelings of estrangement towards her once-beloved father who did not approve of her romance with the young poet.  It grew from the anger of her sister Fanny “shackled by illegitimacy and despair���. And it grew from Percy Shelley’s own growing madness “because society loathes him for his beliefs”. Out of these parts Mary made her creation, so Judge writes, stitching them into a greater whole just as Victor Frankenstein assembled his creature from corpses.

The book is told in first person from Mary’s perspective, giving the reader a personal connection with her pain and her joy. At critical moments the voice of her creature also emerges as an extension of her. A literary child just as precious to her as the biological children she lost.

Central to Mary’s story is her turbulent relationship with Percy Bysshe Shelley. How they came to love each other and fled to Europe to try to build a life through loss, ostracization, and Shelley’s growing mania. Equally important to the narrative is Mary’s relationship with her sister Claire, who travels with the couple and shares in Mary’s pain and joy. And, then, of course the book depicts the fateful ghost-writing contest at Byron’s chateau, when Mary’s creature finally comes to life and speaks with his own voice.

The book gives context to some of the more macabre events in Mary’s life, such as when she first makes love to Shelley on her mother’s grave, or how she rescues his physical heart after he is cremated and keeps it in her writing desk for the rest of her life. Both acts keep her deceased loved ones close to her.

Judge’s evocative black-and-white illustrations accompany and enhance each poem, steeping the book in a gothic aesthetic. This is a passion project for the author, undertaken- as she explains in the afterward- while she struggled with pain, fatigue, and isolation during a long illness. “I have represented the details of Mary’s life,” she writes, “by weaving the actual events (as documented in her journals, copious letters, and later biographies) with the themes she and Shelley wrote about in their creative work.” The author does acknowledge that, although this book draws from facts, it is a dramatization of Mary’s experiences.  Judge provides an extensive bibliography for further reading, along with a list of what the characters themselves read, to provide some context for their lives. She also includes short biographical notes of what happened to everyone later in life.

You can get a copy of Mary's Monster at Bookshop.org. Or, like, Amazon if you want.

[insomnicbypasser]

Ho boy what a past two couple weeks am i right guys??? This post will just be me throwing my thoughts at the wall dont expect any sense of consistance im going to be topic hopping probably also just to let you all know this post wont have much if any neg because i honestly font hold those feelings towards purgatory sorry xD however if yall do have neg stuff feel free to have an open discussion in the replies i wanna study yall under a microscope

THOUGHTS BELOW

Alright first of all lets give it up for Bolas guys lets be honest no one not even they themselves thought they were gunna win fr

As a sole Bolas watcher ill have to say these streams have been the most fun ive had watching a stream in a while ive legit fixed my sleeping schedual just to watch these streams lemme tell you

I know that alot of people are unhappy with the ending that we got today but just to remind everyone that i dont think the admins or quackity would do anything TRULY permant without discussion with the cc's

Maxs death was obviously planned days in advance and seeing as the cc's didnt know anything about the eggs conditions or whereabouts i think its safe to assume none of them are actually dead

I trust quackity and qsmp not to do something that would obviously be so unsatisfiying to both the players and the fans, mostly because several months of build up definitely wouldnt lead to that

I think purgatory will be used as a learning experience for qsmp staff as how to make events more enjoyable, and i have no doubt that the week(s) inbetween this purgatory event and the next will be spent working out bugs and making qol changes, we cant expect everything to go perfectly without making mistakes

I think that the ending to purgatory played into the whole theme thats been hammered on over and over again by quackity both in and out of game: this event is made to make you unhappy and uncomfortable. It was tailored to brew conflict and make you unsatisfied, whivh judging by peoples reactions worked very well!

This event is definitely going to make past and future experiences sweeter. Were going to look back on pre purgatory as the good ol days before disaster and look at post purgatory as the catharsis period after a disaster. Puragatory is defintely the growing pains need to bring new life into the server, ots the absence that makes the heart grow fonder.

I have a serious question to ask people down in the replies: how many of you came back to qsmp or started WATCHING qsmp because of the purgatory event. Ill be honest after the first couple months i only tuned into mr charlie slimecicles streams and those were few and far between but after puragtory started i began to feel the insatiable lust for more qsmp so i began to watch recap videos and vods at a horrifiying pace. I started watching other povs because of how well bolas played off of each other and i didnt want to miss a single second of their shenanigans.

This single event has made me more excited for qsmp content then anything in the past couple months. I got a fucking twitter account for christs sake just because i wanted to know wehn people were going live and to see recaps on what the other teams were up too.

I know these past two weeks have been stressful and uncomfortable for some people so i ask yall to take a step back and detoxify so we can come back to this with clearer and fresher prespectives so we can focus on the fun and intruiging aspects of the event

Lets wallow in the angst and let chaos take the wheel with theories and ideas on how everything will pan out from here, i have hope that everything will turn out in the end even if its brought about woth blood sweat and tears :) as long as we all have fun in the end thats all that matters yall

[autisticlee]

I wasn't diagnosed with hEDS, despite very much suspecting it before that. my doctor used that testing method (I always forget the name of) that looks at like 5 joints only and judges based on that. some of those happened to be joints I don't have as much issue with (for example, my elbows and knees don't bend past the degree required and my back is way too stiff to touch the ground without a lot of stretching first) but I was told I have general, basically harmless joint hypermobility and there's no treatment to help me or anything. I'm basically fine I guess?

I was told by a few people on twitter that the test is outdated and the issues I mention having sounds a lot like hEDS and I need a second opnion (but can't get one because that's the only doctor in my hospital/insurance system) so all I have to go by is what people online have told me from a guess and what a doctor told me. so I really don't know what the truth it. but I feel obligated to go off of what the doctor said and say "I'm fine" because I was also told by twitter people that this "isnt something to wish for/it's a very serious condition/you can't just self diagnosed this/etc" so I can only assume I just have a few joints that bend more than they should but it's fine.

(this is longer than i expected so i'll cut it)

my joints are always popping and cracking and feeling very loose and floppy. I don't get big dislocations requiring hospital visits that I am told are a required symptoms of hEDS. )I can dislocated my jaw on demand though and have to use my hands to put it back lmao and other joints get stuck and feel like they're trying to dislocate and stuff like that? i've had toes and fingers dislocated and my parents just yank on them until they pop back in. my hips are some of the worst joints i think. of course those aren't tested in the EDS test. i'll be walking and suddenly my hip feels like it pops out of place or gets stuck. if i'm standing and shift my hips, I can feel it pop really dramatically. always a dull pain, sometimes sharp pain that makes it very hard to walk untol it goes away. but I try to ignore it.

I feel like I have high pain tolerance (not sure if due to being autistic and having weird sensory issues, or from basically being trained my while life to ignore my pain because my parents couldn't afford to take me to doctors, being told to suck it up i'm being dramatic, getting ignored or told others "have it worse," etc.) so i've just been accepting the joint pain I get, especially from my very physically demanding job, and don't do much about it. I'm pretty sure most, if not all my sleep problems are due to chronic pain and discomfort. everyone tries to tell me it's all in .y head and I can't sleep because my mind is "too active" and i'm just "thinking too much" so i've been suggested so many things to treat anxiety. thkae don't work and meds made it WAY worse. i'm the definition of "head empty" when i'm trying to sleep. I don't think that's it lmao. if it's anything in my head, it's the vivid dreams I have. but do dreams make you feel like you got physically hit by a truck? maybe mentally, yeah.

my mom, who I work with, has chronic pain and back and other problems. so since she "just deals with it" she applies that to me and says "mine is worse/I deal with it every day and it mever stops/I can't help you/you have nothing to complain about/etc" and not just her, my whole family seems to have chronic pain and stuff. it's like it's genetic, idk. so i'm expected to work through it and ignore it. she doesn't use any mobility aids despite probably needing to, so it was never suggested to me. i've had pain and issues most my life but was always told i'm "too young to have any pain. wait until you're 25/30/35" (the number changes as I get older for some reason...) "you arent allowed to complain/experience pain now, you're too young. exercise more. you sit at your computer too much. etc" so i've just tried to ignore it and deal with it because i'm overreacting and it's not bad, right? others have it worse.

I visited some friends this past week. One friend is disabled and uses a cane/wheelchair to aid her mobility due to severe chronic pain. I brought my hip brace with me, which helps hold my hip in the joint a little and helps stop it popping out as I walk (there's still pain though, but it stops my joint from popping out sideways when i move it, if that makes sense?) my friend noticed me struggling and despite me telling her i'm fine and this or normal, she demanded I don't just "deal with it" like everyone else. she made sure I had my brace on, shared her pain meds, and made me borrow her cane while she used her wheelchair.

we went to an anime convention and met up with one of my friend's friends for a little bit. she also uses a cane when walking around a lot. she noticed my hip issues and my skin having a bad reaction to the double sided tape I was using for cosplays and asked if I had EDS because I showed signs like people she knows who have it. that kind of further makes me wonder if maybe my doctor misdiagnosed because of the bad outdated test? perhaps it's not and i'm overthinking it. i'm just thinking that if that's what it it actually is, it would be nice to know so I know how to help myself? like maybe there's more treatments than just ignoring standard hypermobility? and what if there's other related issues i'd have to watch for amd not know about?

but anyway, borrowing my friends cane, with and even without my hip brace (sometimes with wrist brace too if i remembered because wrist pain particularly due to an old, severe injury as a kid), doing a ton of walking all week, I noticed I never got sharp hip and knee pains that I get normally that almost down me every day at work or when going for a walk. I always try to ignore them and push through and continue what I'm doing. I assume that's fine and even get annoyed at myself for being so overreacting to it????? i'm suppsed to have high pain tolerance, right? i'm making a big deal out of nothing probably!!!!

but using it that whole week and finding that it helped makes me wonder if I should get my own???? not that I really go anywhere and I can't use it at work because I have to use my hands the whole time. (or is that attention seeking behavior? I know using one draws negative attention because people are assholes about that stuff. but it's still attention. am I secretly wanting attention???) I also wonder if i'm experiencing more issues than I think. like have I gotten so used to ignoring things that it's actually worse than I think? am I a walking imposter syndrome? i've heard you can dull your own sense of pain by ignoring it long enough and being autistic with sensory issues can also cause a reduced sense of pain. it seemed like being around other disabled people and people who actually paid attention to me meant people noticed me struggling more than I notice, if that makes sense?? but I don't know i'd I am truly struggling or i'm unconsciously making it up????

when I was on my way home walking through the airport, I thought I was doing fine. yeah, I was going slower than everyone else and leaning on my rolling carryon luggage, but i'm sure I was fine......I must have looked like I was struggling. a man driving one of those little transport vehicles through the hall stopped and asked if I was ok. I said i'm fine and he insisted I get on and he take me down the rest of the very long hall. he got to the end where it splits and I needed the opposite way he was headed so he called for someone with a wheelchair to scoop me up and take me to my gate and wouldn't accept a no.

I thought i'd be fine shuffling the hour long layover I had to the opposite side of the airport to my gate, but turns out I made it a minute after boarding time started even with other people running me through on wheels double the speed or more i was going myself. I may have missed my flight if I kept shuffling on my own.....

even though it was a lot of help, I still felt bad, like I was taking up resources from people who really needed it. I never considered myself physically disabled despite my weird joint issues, weakness, chronic pain, lack of balance and coordination, etc. it was a lot of help, and like I said, I may have missed my plane without it, but I still felt really bad and still do, like a fraud, like I was wasting something others needed more. I just feel like my struggles aren't enough to warrant any thpe of disability aid, if they can even be considered struggles at all. I felt like i'm an able person being fake and taking something that doesn't belong to me, wasting resources that aren't meant for me, despite it not being me who chose it or asked for it. I tried to refuse, but it was given to me by someone who seems to have felt I needed it????? should I have rejected it more and tried to be more insistent on being fine? (though i'm not sure i'd be capable of that since I was overwhelmed and my autistic brain can barely handle airports....so talking at all was kind of out of the question)

i really feel like I don't need or deserve help like that! I need to deal with it on my own and ignore it, right? others have it worse! it's not that bad. I can deal with it on my own. maybe i'm being dramatic about any pain and stuff i'm experiencing and need to suck it up and stop complaining. It's not bad enough to even mention it! maybe i'm unconsciously trying to get attention or something like that. unconsciously looked like I was struggling for some kind of attention or something (despite trying to always shrink and hide myself in public to be left alone, especially when sensory overwhelmed). I hope I didn't impede anyone who needed and deserved help more than me 🥺😔

[bubbledumbbinch]

Okay so can I ask for some general headcanons for a Fem!MC in twst? The game has gender-neutral pronouns for the MC so far and it's an all boys school. How do you think the characters reaction/interactions would change if the MC was female? (if all are too much you can just pick your faves, maybe just include the octa and Savannahclaw dorm?) Just your thoughts and some brainrot💖

I think the boys would definitely be a lot more flirtatious to fem!MC!!! (I just wanna call her FeMC so I could say… fem… with a c at the end LOL). This is an all boys school, what do you expect?!

These are mostly short I’m sorry! I wanted to try to fit everyone in!

Ramshackle

Grim would lay at night curled up beside you. On days when your period hit, Grim would sense you in pain and get near your abdomen and purr. He feels like it’s an instinctual thing to do and if if helps out his minion, he’ll do it! Plus there’s tuna in it for him, right? Pet his ears too!

Heartslabyul

Riddle would definitely blush when you are around, but not too heavily! Sure he finds you attractive but it won’t stop him from fulfilling his duties as a dorm leader! He can’t help himself when he gets flustered talking to you since the only woman he grew up around was his strict mother. Since you’re different compared to her, he can’t tell but feel warmth from you which he wants to keep in his heart.

Ace and Deuce would make jokes at each other’s expense, both of them sorta going neck and neck trying to compete for your attention! They know you guys are just friends… unless..? 😳 Ace would make the snarky remarks while Deuce would threaten to beat Ace up.

Trey would act the same towards you, knowing he has to be a respectful upperclassman! You ALMOST can’t tell he sets aside the cupcake with more fruits or decoration on it for you at the Unbirthday party. Trey would give his signature smirk and wink as he sets it down in front of you.

Cater would take you on shopping sprees and outings to have so many photo opportunities with NRC’s only female student! Girls would flood his comments asking if you were his girlfriend, but he never answered. He secretly hopes you like him back so you could do cute couple things together like match outfits!

Savannaclaw

Leona would still call you herbivore and treat you the same as always. Still as lazy as before. However he can’t help but show off when he plays Magift and you happen to be watching. He lowkey stares at your features and shape of your body when you’re not looking 👀

Ruggie would also mostly act the same towards you, but he would bump into you on purpose so he can have an excuse to touch or smell you! His body tingles when he can smell your scent on the blazer he accidentally knocked into you with! Still treats you the same as ever though!

Jack would be gentler towards you, he knows how rough and big his body is, he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you! His personality is still the same, don’t think he’ll treat you any differently because you’re a girl!

Octavinelle

Azul would try to make shady deals with you to offer you protection against students who may be too forward with you since you’re a girl. In exchange? For you to work at the lounge! and spend time with him. He secretly likes you but would never tell you to uphold his reputation and he is also afraid of rejection ;w; Azul would also not mind seeing you wearing the lounge uniform, fufufu…

Jade would would act more like a butler type! You also find him nearby sometimes, feeling his striking gaze looking at you. He’s always there when someone is trying to confess to you and you look uncomfortable. “Oya oya, do you need some help, miss?” His voice teasingly echoes through the halls, scaring off the guy who was trying to hit on you. Jade would stretch out his hand and escort you to wherever you needed to go.

Honestly? Unless you had a super “girly” appearance, Floyd wouldn’t have noticed until he gave you a hug to squeeze you, noticing your body was different… more squishy... and your bone structure is different. Shrimpy is so squeezable!!! Huh? He has to be wary of your chest? He’ll just lift you up by your tummy! You being a girl doesn’t stop the hug train!

Scarabia

Kalim wouldn’t treat you any differently! He would still definitely invite you over as often as possible, not realizing his sweetness may come off as flirtatious! Might develop a small crush on you :) imagines all the pretty outfits he could buy you from his homeland

Jamil would at first be wary of you but once he realizes you aren’t a threat to Kalim or the school, he stops doubting you. Definitely isn’t the type to judge you differently based on your gender!

Pomefiore

Vil would smirk and think he finally has someone else to practice makeup on! He definitely uses you as a model to show off his products, whether it be makeup, skincare, clothing, etc!

Rook would be… protective. He likes you because you’re different, and he would subtly follow and stake you out to see what things you’re doing differently at NRC as a girl. Rook offers silent protection against those he sees as a threat to you before you can even notice.

Epel would definitely try to prove his manliness in front of you if Vil isn’t in the vicinity! Going out of his way to carry heavy items, be tough, etc. If YOU tell him he’s manly, it’s certainly gotta mean something right?!

Ignihyde

Idia thinks it’s like some sort of anime trope, you’re the female protagonist and it’s like a reverse harem because the whole school is full of boys! Cough cough breaking the fourth wall here! He would probably be more… nervous around you, not like he would ever get close anyways, but still! The idea of the only girl at school actually being friends with you and maybe becoming more makes his heart beat faster.

Ortho would not. Perceive you any differently LOL. He’d be intrigued would say like “A girl? Cool! The body analyses I’ve done from everyone around you reads their body temperatures higher and their hearts are all beating faste- MMPH!” He would be silenced by ADeuce…

Diasomnia

Malleus…. Once he knows how you don’t fear him and how you like him even without knowing who he is. All he can think of is how beautiful you would be as his queen. Who can blame him? He has priorities and he needs to think of these things! I can also imagine him picking petals off flowers and saying “She loves me… she loves me not…” because he’s romantic like that… my heart

Lilia would use his experience in his vast years of dating to his advantage, knowing what ways to talk to a woman best. He swears he is only flirting with you for fun! The way your cheeks puff up in embarrassment is just too cute to resist! He certainly doesn’t mind a gender neutral MC, but Lilia can appreciate the beauty in every gender and he certainly appreciates your beauty!

Silver said 😪😴 . You notice Silver has more of a knightly approach to you, offering to protect you when you need it. He understands how a situation between one girl and hundreds of male students could provide a sense of fear, so Silver would always be there to protect you if you need!

Sebek would blush when you’re around, but he thinks you’re trying to use feminine charm and wiles to seduce the young master, even though all you did was make a yawn noise, flip your hair, or put on a bit of makeup! You have to explain to him that you aren’t doing anything to try to seduce anybody. You just wanted to go to school. He is doubtful but finally agrees. Maybe he was becoming victim to your charm instead?

[purpleheartskies]

"Get out of here... All of you."

Whenever I see this scene outside the CK dojo of Robby telling them all to leave, I just think of how incredibly lonely Robby is. No one, absolutely no one, has ever truly been on his side.

I know Robby is judged for choosing Kreese in this moment, but I think Robby did this because Kreese was the safer option. By "safer", I mean safer for Robby's heart. His choice was never about the dojo war or picking a side. It was about himself and what was best for him then. It's really painful when you know from experience that the people who you care about and love don't care about you and love you the same way back.

It's important to note that neither Daniel nor Johnny had warned Robby about Kreese and the war he was waging. The day before, Daniel had told Johnny that Kreese had made it crystal clear that he is everyone's problem. But Daniel and Johnny never even considered that Kreese would go after Robby. That just shows how much they don't consider Robby as part of "everyone" and how insignificant they believe he is in general, or atleast to the dojo war. And the only knowledge that Robby had of Kreese had been what Daniel had told Robby about Kreese being Johnny's worst teacher. But, Kreese had been one of only three people to visit Robby in juvie, and Kreese's advice had helped Robby survive in juvie all alone, with no other support, for months. Daniel never visited like he had promised he would, and Johnny's one visit caused Robby more pain, especially after he had allowed himself to believe that Johnny would make his scheduled/promised visit. In fact, when Johnny had seen Robby's bruise, Johnny just accused Robby of starting fights, not even caring to ask what had happened or if he was okay, and Johnny never went back to make sure that Robby was okay. Also, from Robby's pov, Johnny had just shown up here at the dojo and started wailing on Kreese after he suggested that they all work together. Robby was truly shocked when Johnny did that, so it's obvious Robby didn't know what the Cobras had done that had led Johnny there because Johnny obviously sure as hell hadn't come there for Robby. When Johnny had barged in, Johnny asked Robby what he was doing there, instinctively blaming Robby for being there, despite knowing that Kreese had made it clear that he's everyone's problem and knowing Kreese's manipulative and deceptive nature.

Fact is, Johnny had already chosen not to be there for Robby his whole life, for which Robby blames himself, and on top of that, Johnny had chosen Miguel over Robby completely. Even in this moment outside the dojo, Johnny stayed standing next to Miguel making it clear who Johnny has chosen. Johnny didn't offer to be by Robby's side to convince him to leave Kreese nor did Johnny come to Robby's side to keep him safe from Kreese because Robby chose to stay with him.

Daniel had passed harsh judgment/punishment on Robby 3 times without hearing Robby out first. Daniel had disowned Robby the first two times, and Daniel had ambushed him the third time. Yes, the legal situation had to be solved, but who does that to their young student who was so dedicated and diligent? Mr. Miyagi would have never done that to Daniel and Daniel would have never done that to Sam, but Daniel did that to Robby because he's Johnny's son. Also, Daniel apologized to Robby for disowning him a second time while Daniel was stalling him for the cops. Of course, Robby didn't believe his apology. Daniel didn't even give Robby a proper conversation about such a traumatic situation. Instead, Daniel just ended up making decisions for Robby on his behalf based on Daniel's own beliefs about what had happened.

Standing outside of that dojo, with Miguel by Johnny's side and Sam by Daniel's side, what did Johnny and Daniel have to offer Robby? A stable home? Unconditional love and support? Johnny especially should have always been providing those things to Robby, but Johnny has been purposely depriving Robby of those things since day 1. Daniel had offered Robby a stable home when he'd brought Robby into his home and later called him family, but in one fell swoop, Daniel had taken that back from Robby when he'd screwed up (by not taking Sam home after Moon's party) because Daniel thought the worst of Robby because he's Johnny son. Daniel hadn't given Robby a chance to explain that time either. How can Robby trust Johnny and Daniel to be there and be consistent? He needs assurance of stable and consistent support from the adults who claim to care about him and claim to believe he's a "good kid". Johnny and Daniel claim to care, but they've proven to Robby that they'll walk away from Robby when he screws up or when he needs them most, judging him by thinking the worst of him (and without even giving him a chance to explain), and in Johnny's case, he'll walk away from Robby without reason anyway.

Kreese claimed to care about Robby, but Robby didn't care about Kreese. Robby didn't even trust him. Robby didn't trust anyone anymore. Staying with Kreese had always just been a temporary solution until Shannon got out of rehab.

(And, seriously? What the hell was wrong with Johnny and Daniel just leaving Robby with Kreese after Kreese had tried to kill them? Like I said, they really do think Robby is insignificant.)

[saltymongoose]

This was inspired from the madness: project nexus game so essentially how would the main 3 or the auditor who ever you can chose react to a player who is doing a unarmed build like jacked strength, endurance, dexterity, tactics stats and almost all of the unarmed skills

"Project nexus ask guy I meant project nexus 2 and the player chose the noob class" - 2/2

Hi Anon! This was really fun to do, I love a good unarmed build. I decided to go with the Main 3 + 2BDamned. “You” also refers to you as in the player character btw, for anyone who's unfamiliar with Arena Mode.

(TW: Mentions of Violence)

First off, I think all of them would be impressed. Hank is extremely skilled in all manner of fighting, but even his hand-to-hand combat abilities pale in comparison to yours.

You’re an enigma to them. Where the hell did 2B even find you? Surely someone that powerful couldn’t have stayed under their radar for that long?

Judging by the way you look, you didn’t have any real combat experience before you were hired. So how were you so good at this???

Deimos is a big fan, probably on the verge of begging Doc to assign you some missions together. He likely makes trips to the H.Q. just to try and strike up a friendship up with you.

(He conveniently forgets to tell 2B when he plans on visiting you. Oops.)

You’re just so cool! He’s never met someone who has your fighting style and strength. He’s pretty capable, maybe you could teach him a few things?

When he learned of your background from Doc, he didn’t believe it, so he asked you directly instead. You just told him you worked some retail job once before 2B scouted you and that was a while ago anyway. While you were explaining how it was difficult to get a job with only one thing on your resume, Deimos was staring slack-jawed at you. You had to be kidding, right?

He expected you to at least be an agent, or a merc or something. But no, you had absolutely no background in it whatsoever.

“I didn’t think I would be that good at this whole punching thing, but it’s actually a lot easier than I was expecting. Paying for dry cleaning is a pain, though.”

Upon getting to know you better, not gonna lie, he’s a little scared, but the excitement at having someone so strong behind them overpowers that.

(Also probably wants to see just how high you could throw him.)

Sanford, while not as excitable as Deimos, definitely gets where he’s coming from. It’s kind of a wonder that you’ve taken to the life of a merc so quickly. 2B never really specified where he found you, just that you were pretty much a normal grunt that could serve a bigger purpose.

After Deimos befriends you, he definitely drags Sanford along on his random visits, so he gets to know you pretty well too.

He’s kind of in awe over you, but also concerned about how you manage to just tank damage like that. Sanford’s great with his hook, but he also carries a gun for a reason.

He’s only seen you use a gun once, and the most notable thing you did was throw it at some poor grunt before promptly separating their head from their body with your bare hands. (He’s seen you throw people too. A part of him wonders how much you could deadlift.)

Definitely has discussions with Skinner about the rare times you’ve had to be stitched back together. Probably tries to find you after these incidents to make sure you're doing alright.

He buys you a meal and brings you movies or something so you guys can just chill for a bit. Everyone needs some time to relax, right?

He knows you can handle yourself in combat, probably better than he can. But as your friend, your mental health is also important to him too.

Hank finds you as being a sort of kindred spirit, both of you capable of massive amounts of carnage whenever you’re sent for missions. He’s never met someone who was so good at snapping people's bones before. He also finds how you just casually throw or drop kick half-mags across the room really funny.

While Deimos and Sanford might politely ask (or beg) 2B to allow them to work with you, Hank will just show up and insist you come along with him on jobs.

He can get pretty competitive when it comes to who can kill more grunts, and surprisingly, 8/10 times you end up tying. Hank might use guns, but you’re pretty fast. And you don’t care about being swarmed by hostiles either, confident enough in your skills to charge head first into a group of them.

He thinks you two have a nice system. There are always a ton of guns on the ground because you don’t use any of them, so he always has a weapon. It’s efficient.

While others would be horrified at your blood covered form and monstrous strength, Hank never feels more in his element than when he’s tearing through grunts at your side. It’s something special, to find someone who’s almost one of your kind.

He actually bothers to remember you, which is more than Deimos and Sanford can say about their own friendships with him. (They get annoyed when he can’t tell them apart, but can point you out in a crowd several meters away from them in a dark room.)

As for your background, he finds it relatable to some degree. After all, he was just a guy that wanted someone to turn down that boombox before all of this happened. (He did snap and murder 30 (32?) people at the time, but he’ll overlook that.)

2BDamned is the only one who knows of your greater purpose for Nevada. He fully expected you to grow more powerful after assigning you with managing their forces in Nevada Central. He didn’t foresee that you’d be this brutal though.

Given how scrawny and weak you seemed to be before the bus dropped you off, he expected you to develop more of a focus on ranged weapons. As a medic, he was honestly kind of worried when you did the opposite. You had absolutely no background in combat, what the hell were you thinking just rushing into enemies like that?!

Having Skinner there to fix you up did somewhat help his concern, but a part of him was exasperated at having to deal with another Hank in that regard.

However, he is really proud of how much you’ve grown. You’ve managed to outpace nearly everybody in the S.Q. when it comes to full on strength, and you were probably the most reliable when it came to actually getting your work done. The guards he stationed in the H.Q. were probably more for protecting the other grunts there, now that he thought about it. You could kill MAGs with your bare hands, you didn’t need any more help.

When he found out about the others visiting you, he was a little ticked off (because he would’ve liked to warn you in advance of these things). But, he knew that you should have at least some moral support. You were a hard worker and unfortunately he couldn’t be there to do that himself.

However, the impromptu missions you were taken on were another matter. He was your supervisor; he needed notice if you weren’t at H.Q and/or available. At least Deimos and Sanford would ask if they wanted you with them, unlike someone else.

(He'd have a discussion with Hank about it, but he doubts he'd actually listen. Seems Doc unintentionally found him a best friend.)

[its-not-a-phase-mom-i-d8-demons]

pairings: Lucifer x Fem!Reader, Mammon x Fem!Reader, Leviathan x Fem!Reader

warnings: tw abandonment (but it turns out okay, I promise), mentions of the act of birthing,

A/N: you came to the right place! as the second oldest of six children, I have some experience when it comes to pregnancy:) I hope you don't mind, nonny, but I'm gonna split this up into a few parts so I can do the dateables as well!

Lucifer

The moment you had shyly produced the positive pregnancy test from the pocket of your hoodie, it felt like Lucifer had entered into a fever dream filled with nursery designs, baby names, the expenses that pile up before the baby even arrives, researching human pregnancy, keeping you out of harm's way and healthy and happy...

So when you first stagger out of bed and rush to his bathroom, hand clamped over your mouth and one shaky hand on your slightly swollen tummy, Lucifer isn't surprised

He is very concerned, however. You had been so nervous to tell him of your pregnancy, you waited until the last moment before your bump was noticeable to tell him

That meant you had been suffering from all of these pregnancy side effects before he'd permanently moved you to sleep in his room

Lucifer hoists himself out of bed and pads into the bathroom, gathering up your hair, if any, into his fist and pulling your hunched form between his legs for support

You hate this feeling with a passion; throbbing stomach and a lump in your throat with little to no vertigo and tears rolling down your face as you try and catch your breath

You tell him it hurts, you ask him if he can take the pain away as your head rests on his chest, lashes fluttering with wooziness

Lightheadedness was unbearably common; you would suddenly grip his sleeve and he could watch the color drain from your face and your knees get shaky, body beginning to sway

He always catches you though, finding a place for you to sit or lie down and gather yourself

Tummy rubs become more common; the feeling of his hands against your bare tummy, spreading their warmth and nullifying the ache, allowing you to relax

He's extremely attentive as well and can tell whenever you need something

Water? Here's a cup sweetheart, remember, you're hydrating and eating for two people!

Craving something? Chocolate? Fried pickles? Chips of some kind? sweets? He's stockpiled anything you could want and locked it away just for you.

I feel like Lucifer would want your baby to be a little girl. A little princess he can carry on his shoulders and spoil with his love and gifts.

Satan ruined him for having another baby boy, but if that's how the cards fall, he certainly wouldn't mind. Unfortunately, he'd be constantly walking on eggshells, afraid he'll make your little boy into another rebellious child

That's the last thing he wants

Lucifer does his best to keep his kid away from Satan and Belphie and out of the 'Formerly Anti-Lucifer League', but sometimes you're taking a nap or out shopping with Asmodeus, and Satan and his brothers manage to coerce the little one into their shenanigans

One thing is for sure though, even if Lucifer didn't want any kids and the creation of one was unplanned, he would never ever turn you away

He's very responsible and does anything in his power to make the pregnancy as easy and happy as possible

On the day you are to give birth, he's a mess

He has already sweat through 3 shirts by the time the IV has been secured to your hand

Everything he says doesn't come without a stutter

He's squeezing your hand and kissing your hair during labor, trying to distract you from the burn between your legs as much as he can

You probably need extra stitches from baby's horns ngl

Definitely cries before the baby is even put in your arms

Refuses to let his brothers come and see you, "They can wait until we go home."

Lucifer is Smitten™

He smooches the tiredness under your eyes and tells you to get some rest

Surprisingly, he enjoys a lot of the names from the human world you discuss and will most likely pick one of those

But if it's a girl, her name is Lilith. I'm sorry MC, your input is invalid at this time

You don't regret 'final day in the devildom sex' at all when you get to witness the Avatar of Pride reduced to tears when the nurse puts the child in his arms

P-P-Pregnant? MC, ya better be jokin'...

Mammon

You weren't, judging by the pregnancy test(s) clutched in your fist

He's not mad at you, he's not upset, (in fact, he's the happiest he's ever been), he just scared

Broken Condom Victim™

He loved you just a bit too hard last week...

but let's be real here, HIS MC, carrying HIS baby?

That's like the highest level of ownership on his lovely human you could get! Levi, Asmo, Beel, Lucifer, everyone would be SOOOO JEALOUS!!!

AND

He gets to have a little one running around again!

You saw how sweet he was to babified Satan in the obey me anime premier! He LOVES little kids and nothing would make him happier than someone to play with (besides MC of course) that wouldn't make fun of him for messing up and being silly!

AND

You're so pretty!!

I mean, ya were always pretty, but somethin' about ya is different and yer even more beautiful than before somehow!

Mammon said, his entire face the shade of a pomegranate

Pregnancy glow is REAL

Asmo agrees, after stealing you away from an extremely overprotective mammon and hiding in the attic to chat without disturbance (mammon)

But as much as YOU know he would be the BEST father, comments from his brothers continue to drag him down and the evenings he cried into your shoulder became more and more frequent as your pregnancy progresses

Mammon, as we all know, is, in fact, a tiddy man

He likes to touch and squeeze them, and just gently hold them while cuddling or even browsing in a store, he'd just come up behind you and touch your boobs

(also, mammon likes all sizes, so if you have next to no tiddy like me, you'll be at his mercy as well. those with the large honkers, however, watch yourself)

Now that there's a miracle growing in your tummy, other parts of your body are preparing for its arrival, including your chest

Swelling, swelling, soreness, growing and darkening of the nipples, and swelling make it so Mammon can no longer touch your pretty tiddies :(((

(grammarly didn't like that word)

On the day mammon snack size was to be born, mammon is silent but extremely fidgety

It was early in the morning when you'd shaken him awake like, "mammoney, I'm going into labor" and he was out of bed and out the door with your luggage before you finished blinking

After grabbing your DDD's and you, he carries you down to the car (what dysfunctional family doesn't have a car? a nice one (Mercedes, Audi, you get the idea) for lucifer and a Volkswagon bus or something for his siblings to share) and drives quickly, but very carefully drives to the hospital, holding your hand the whole way.

He covers your eyes when they put the IV in, just in case you're squeamish, and rubs your arms as the drugs begin to take effect and there's a little fear in your eyes at the thought of pushing an entire human/demon being out of your coochie

He assures you and never lets go of your hand no matter how long you're in labor

When it's all over with and you are resting in your hospital bed waiting for the doctors to finish the Apgar tests and give you your baby

Mammon is speechless as the nurse places the baby in your arms

That's HIS KID!!

Immediately starts crying

The little horns poking out of the blanket? Those look just like his!!

Judging by the bit of hair on it's head, it looks like the baby will have hair like yours

If it's a baby boy, he thinks it should be named "Mammon II" but you just giggle and remind him of the deal he made with lucifer long ago, that his first born child, no matter the gender, had to have 'Lucifer' somewhere in their name

Human names are dumb, except for yours of course, so he searches for suitable demon names

The last thing he wants is a kid named Lucifer, so that will be the kid's middle name

He really regrets his past decisions now

Leviathan

"Levi?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"I'm pregnant."

*leviathan has been KO'd*

No joke, this man is literally floored and didn't wake up for a while and you were afraid you had just slain the fucking Lord of Shadows

Some Henry you were

You had to call Lucifer in to wake him up because he was still flat on the floor a half and hour later

Mammon is more that happy to tip a bucket of ice water on the face of the son of a bitch that impregnated HIS MC

Levi wakes up and pounces on you, gripping you tightly by the arms

"You're k-kidding r-right?"

Him? A father?

Uhhhhhhh

Unfortunately, Leviathan.exe has stopped working, try again in two thousand years

I hate to say this, but he definitely detaches himself for a while until his brothers, especially Asmodeus, literally beat him into shape

He comes back to you, a little bruised and sobbing, but not from the beating he just received

He's so sorry he neglected you! He's such a horrible demon, undeserving of your welcoming nature

He's gonna be the worst dad, and he's not good enough for you, and his kid will hate him just like everyone else does, he doesn't deserve you, he's so sorry for making you suffer the side effects and feel all alone,

Sir, I-

FALSE

It's your turn to shake some sense into him, reminding him that he would be the. best. dad!!

Not to mention the fact that you were just happy he realized his mistakes and came back to you

He begs you to sleep in his bed tub with him for security, and you have to admit his tail is very comforting

Levi does extensive research on human pregnancy and now at the dinner table, instead of talking about the latest slice of life anime he'd been watching, he's just spouting random pregnancy facts and you're laughing so hard it brings you to tears

When the weird dreams and vivid nightmares happen, Levi is right behind you, rubbing your swollen tummy, and letting you talk about them

A lot of them were about him and about your future child

Most of them were about how they got hurt in some way, either that or YOU got hurt and the baby died

These, more often than not, brought you to tears and stress you out, but Levi is right there, okay? Nothing can hurt you, nor would he let anything happen to you on his watch

Learns how to massage you (safely) to reduce stress

Definitely talks to the baby a lot

Levi begged you to be induced so the birth was safe and not a sudden occasion and you agree

On the day the doctor recommended, you arrived at the hospital and got down to business

Levi didn't really want to be in the room with you, but he knew he had to for your sake and he'd played a few birth simulators from both perspectives and you really needed him

Kinda sits there awkwardly comforting you and encouraging you, holding your hand and caressing your cheeks, a bit flushed from exertion and tears

Listen

If the baby is a boy, his name will be Henry and that's final

If it's a girl, he doesn't really care, as long as you don't name her 'mammonia' or something dumb like that

definitely crashes your hospital bed to snuggle until the baby is ready

cries when the baby wraps its extremely small digits around one of his own

also at the little horns protruding from its head

and the tuft of purple in its head

Also Smitten™

He's so excited to get home and show off his beautiful baby to his brothers and then formulate a plan to raise the kid to live and breathe TSL just like his daddy <3

--

July 9th: VIP MEMBERS, GET YALLS JUICE!!

Countdown Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[thera-daydreams]

PLUS ONE

》 A TRESE TWOSHOT 《

[Maliksi x Reader]

📝 Summary: In which your beloved best friend snatches you from your apartment at dawn asking you to be his plus one for his cousin's wedding. Unbeknownst to the clueless you, everything is just going according to Maliksi's ultimate masterplan. With the help of friends and family, the Prince of the Tikbalang finally gets the girl he's been longing for. And oh, Señor Armanaz gets his dream daughter-in-law and the promise of grandchildren within the year.

📌 Warning: May contain some slight NSFW for spicy suggestiveness and cussing. No smut or anything super SPG—this girl can't write that for her life—but just be prepared. It's Maliksi we're talking about. We've got friends-to-lovers, obliviousness, pining, fluff, and a tikbalang simp. Figure it out. 😃

(word count: 7,454) ♥︎ Part Two: ?

》 AUTHOR'S NOTE 《

Not an Inday spinoff, but a lengthy oneshot in celebration of this blog getting 90 followers. Just ten more to 100, yay! Thank you so much for the love and support, everyone. I also promised that I'll be making this brainrot that @binibiningbabaylan and I have fangirled over a few days ago (find the original post here) when I finished the latest chapter of Inday. Here it is! 🥰

Before I forget, I was also inspired by the cute fic made by @crispybasil titled "Sunshowers" and the "Trese Boys As Things My Guy Friends Do" made by the amazing @smolla-than-a-bug (I bow down to your wonderful works in the Trese fandom). I definitely see Maliksi to be the type to go on spontaneous roadtrips and be the boyfriend to drive you around eveeeerywhere (while also driving you crazy). 🚘

There are also some songs mentioned throughout this work. You should probably listen to them while reading for the full experience. Ending was somewhat rushed but eh, I'm too exhausted and I've rewritten it too many times. Also, if someone makes some actual tikbalang smut, tag me please. Anyways, enjoy! 💕

The way it all started was hilarious. Absolutely fucking hilarious. It happened like a blur. Literally. One second, you were snoozing in your bed. The next? You had a seatbelt on in the shotgun seat of a sophisticated-looking car. Your brain didn't even get to process it yet.

"... So let me get this straight," you grumbled, still half-asleep from your sleep marathon. You just finished a hugely successful project at work yesterday, got promoted, and wanted to make up for the restless nights you spent overtime in the office. Of course you were irritated from being disturbed. You were on vacation leave for two entire weeks, originally planning to go into temporary isolation by deactivating your social media accounts and reserving a beach cabana for yourself in Batangas.

Well, turns out, you weren't going to Batangas anytime soon. All because your unreasonably spontaneous bestfriend of ten hectic years stole you from your apartment at 2AM. Was this considered kidnapping? Was this him just being more in touch with his tikbalang side, taking unsuspecting women in their sleep and leading them to their inevitable death? (He was going over the speed limit, so it was a valid thought.) Will wearing your shirt inside-out save you today? Lord, masyado ka pang pagod para mag-isip ngayon.

"Go on."

"You abducted picked me up in the middle of the night because you want me to be your plus one at your cousin's wedding in Tagaytay?"

"Yup. And technically, the venue is right on the outskirts of Cavite going to Tagaytay," he corrected you as a matter-of-factly.

"Same thing, whatever," you huffed tiredly. "Your cousin's wedding is at 6AM today. In a few hours. In four hours."

"Uh-huh."

You groaned exasperatedly, "Mal naman, eh! You didn't even let me bring anything. Could've at least given me a heads-up a few hours ago. I'm practically emptyhanded right now save for my phone! Sinungaling ka, you said this was just a normal midnight drive—not a freaking wedding!"

The Prinsipe ng Mga Tikbalang, son of the Great Stallion, heir to the Armanaz herd, and the Top Drag Racer of C-5 Expressway—if that was even one of his Game of Thrones-like titles—grinned as he continued driving beside you. He let you continue ranting in the passenger seat while he mulled over his ultimate masterplan that would change his entire life later on. He was a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy, so all this wasn't his thing. But for you? He'll make plans, alright.

"Wala man lang akong dinalang masusuot o kahit konting makeup para maging presentable sa harapan ng buong pamilya mo," you exclaimed, in absolute despair. "Do you know how out of my league you are? Your rich-ass family might judge me—hell, your dad might see me as a hampaslupa if I show up there in my pambahay and tsinelas!"

"Psh, I'm not out of your league," Maliksi waved it off, smoothly turning a corner. "And calm down. We've known each other for a decade! My dad practically loves you as his own daughter. Heck, the entire family knows you and keeps telling me they want you adopted in already. Lolo Andres and Lola Perlita said they'd have the paperwork settled. You just need to sign them."

It would be even better (and easier) if you married into the family. To him, specifically (as if he'd let anyone else have you). God, he was already being so obvious in his advances, but you were just so damn oblivious whenever it came to romance. None of this needed to happen if you just got it through your thick skull that he was madly in love with you.

"That's not the point, idiot!" you slumped back into your seat, hopeless. "Do you think the bride and the groom will get offended? Shit, baka masumpaan ako kung magagalit sila, Mal. Mukha akong patay galing sa South Cemetery."

The long-haired tikbalang rolled his eyes, "Huwag kang mag-alala. Nothing's going to go wrong. Chill ka lang diyan. I've got everything under control, babe."

Babe. Yes, he even called you babe but you thought it was him being a himbo and a massive flirt. Now, it was his common term of endearment for you, but you still assumed it was him just being irksome to you and that you couldn't stop the man from saying it anymore. Thus, you let it be (the most obvious hint of his attraction to you, bestie).

"... Ugh, why didn't you ask Hannah or Amie to go with you?"

He just smiled knowingly, shrugging and making up an excuse, "Nagmamadali ako, eh. Hannah and Amie are also coming, but they already have the other tikbalang as dates."

"'Luh, ako pala ang backup choice mo?"

"Heh. Whatever you want to think."

Little did you know that you were always his first choice. Always. Even when he pursued Alexandra Trese many years ago, trying to convince himself you were just his best friend, it was always you. How did he come to that realization? Well, an international band he was a fan of released a song a couple years ago and he heard it being played in a club in BGC. The song title?

It Was Always You by Maroon 5.

Needless to say, after hearing the song and being unable to get it—get you—out of his mind at night, he stopped courting Alexandra. Unfortunately for him, that time, you'd started dating other men. Therefore, he was left on the sidelines... until your latest and most painful breakup, at least. That was five years ago. You still hadn't dated anyone since then, kind of traumatized from getting into another failed relationship like that.

In the present day, as if the fates were playing on you two, one of your favorite artists played on the radio. A very ironic song given the situation you two were in.

Best Friend by Rex Orange County.

Maliksi knew it was a favorite of yours. He knew it by the way your eyes lit up like a star brightening the twinkling night sky. Like the sun first rising in the morning at Apolaki's command. Like the moon extending its gentle rays from the magic of Mayari herself. If there was anything he wanted to ask of the old gods, it was you—everything else be damned.

"I wanna be the one that makes your day, the one you think about as you lie awake," you half-sang and half-screamed happily, somewhat out-of-tune. "I can't wait to be your number oooooone! I'll be your biggest fan and you'll be mine—"

Maliksi glanced at you, not minding that his eardrums were probably getting microscopic ruptures from your aggressive singing. As much as he wanted to stare at you all day, he had to keep his eyes on the road. But the lyrics you were singing were wrong; the Prince of the Tikbalang was already yours from day one.

"Babe, McDo drive-through tayo for breakfast. Let me make it up to you. Gusto mo ng caramel sundae for your promotion gift? Sige. Ako bahala. Chicken nuggets din? Mabubusog ka ba niyan? I don't think they serve those this early..."

》》》

"Sandali lang!" you shouted out from inside an empty room. You'd just arrived at the venue—the Alta Veranda de Tibig in Silang, Cavite (practically the gateway to Tagaytay)—an hour or so ago. The hired makeup artist just left so that you could privately change into the outfit that had been bought specifically for you. Curse Mal and his ability to buy anything (perhaps anyone) he wanted. "Bwiset, Mal, you didn't tell me we'd be part of the damn entourage. We have to be walking the aisle in thirty minutes, simbako! You just love rushing me, don't you!?"

If only you were the one walking down the aisle today towards him.

When you exited the room, Maliksi couldn't help but let his jaw drop as he skimmed your figure, clad in the luxurious, silky satin blush midi dress he bought in one of those fancy stores in Makati yesterday. He imagined that it would look great on you, but now, seeing it on you in person... you looked divine (and frankly, he wanted to see it off your body to see what was underneath—but don't get too ahead of yourself, Mal). It was a whole 'nother level from his imagination. The deep cowl neckline and thin spaghetti straps showed your lovely collarbones... as well as a peek of your cleavage. His favorite and the best part of it all? It was backless, allowing him to gaze at the tempting curve of your spine.

He hadn't realized he had grown silent until you smiled and closed his mouth, tapping his chin.

"Lalangawin ang bibig mo, Mal," you laughed softly. Never had you seen him so speechless. You then flicked your hair back, ridiculously posing for him like you were on the cover of Vogue magazine (haba ng hair mo, gurl!). "Do I look that good? Char lang."

"... You look absolutely ravishing—I mean, uh, stunning. Hot. Yeah." That was all he could say. He mentally punched himself for not showering you with more suave compliments.

Still, your face brightened up, not knowing that the man in front of you just fell for you a thousand times harder, "Wow! Really? Damn. Ang galing talaga ng MUA na kinuha mo, ginawa akong artista. Give me their contact number later! May work event pa naman ako in two months. I'm shocked, it's like they made me rise from the dead! Even my eyebags are gone, Mal! How'd they do that?" Heck yeah, your confidence was boosted. He offered his arm to you like a gentleman, making you half-heartedly roll your eyes (you took it anyway). From holding it alone, you could tell that your best friend was a sinewy man (well, you knew that already after seeing his tikbalang form before—the little shit didn't even wear a loincloth like all his clanmates; your poor eyes were eternally scarred).

You looked him up and down. You wouldn't lie—Maliksi is and always has been an attractive man. Now? With his hair in a ponytail (pun not intended), definitely one of the hunkiest men you've ever known. "You're not looking too bad yourself, horsey."

"Ako pa!" He puffed his chest out in pride. You chuckled at his reaction.

"By the way, how do you even know my dress size and my shoe size?"

"Babe, I've known you too long. You know almost everything about me, I know everything about you."

You snorted at his confident tone, "'Di nga? You don't know every single thing about me, Mal. Assuming ka masyado."

"Alam ko nga anong cup size mo. Wala lang 'yang shoe and dress size."

You slapped his shoulder, cheeks quickly flushing red, "Huy, umayos ka! Walang hiyang tikbalang na 'to." With this guy as your best friend? You heard dirty jokes at least once a day. "Don't be inappropriate here!"

"What? It's only fair I know!" He looked down on you suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows. "You already know I always go commando, so of course I know that your bra is a size—"

"Shhh! Baka marinig ka, 'nyeta."

"So? Let them hear. My best friend has a nice set of melons!" he shouted. You were grateful there was no one around. Hopefully.

"Oh my God..."

Your best friend chortled at how flustered you'd become. He led you to where some of his family was waiting, with a couple of his relatives already greeting you. You instantly and quite easily mingled with them, your worries of them not accepting you far from even true (they all knew how much their prince loved the innocent you).

"Kayo na talaga, pare?" one of his older tikbalang clanmates asked while you went away to be fawned over by his aunts.

Maliksi chuckled, crossing his arms as he watched you from afar, "Heh. Hindi pa."

Another one of his clanmates—a younger one—laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, "Talaga? That's cap, bro. You two are like a married couple already and you guys still aren't a thing?"

"Ilang taon na ba kayong magkakaibigan?" the older one asked him.

"Almost ten years," Maliksi responded, a smile unconsciously pulling his lips up as he remembered your moments together. He watched you converse with his female relatives (who adored you the moment Maliksi brought you to a family event many moons ago).

The two tikbalang snickered as they saw the look on the Great Stallion's heir.

"You're down bad," the younger one said, snapping a photo of his lovestruck kuya. "You've got it so bad for her, dudeparechong!"

"Balak mong ligawan anytime soon?" the older tikbalang inquired.

"Heh. Balak ko na ngang pakasalan. Kung pwede, ngayon."

They looked at Maliksi as if he was crazy. He was very much serious, though, even if there was a huge, lopsided smile on his face. The Prince of the Tikbalang raised a brow at them.

"What? Don't give me that look. Our ten years of being best friends is practically the courting and the dating stage already."

"Eh... you're right. Don't waste anymore time. Go and marry her today, dude. Suporta kami sa'yo, basta groomsmen kami sa kasal niyo, ha!"

"Ge. Without question."

Meanwhile, on your end with the ladies of the family, they started pestering you on your love life (like all typical Filipino aunties). Chismis everywhere.

"O, iha, single ka pa ba?"

"Kailan ka magpapakasal? Malapit ka nang pumasok sa thirties mo."

"Do you want kids? How many?"

"Are you and Maliksi a couple? You look good together! Kayo na, 'di ba?"

"Will you be getting married next? Are you engaged? When's the wedding? Invite niyo kami!"

Before you could get overwhelmed by their questions, Maliksi swept you off your feet to lead you to the entourage that was lining up outside the chapel area. Again, it happened like a blur. He laughed at the partially nauseated look on your face.

"You okay there?" he asked, grinning.

"Your family thinks we're together," you muttered quietly, not meeting his eyes. You weren't sure why you felt... tingly about their statements.

He tilted his head at you curiously, gently setting you down on your feet and helping you stand.

"Do you hate the idea?" It hurt him to ask you the question, but he wanted your thoughts on it. Perhaps doing this was a bad idea. Maliksi was competitive in many things, including wanting you to be his, but if you were so opposed to it, he would never force you into something you didn't want. He let go of your hand; you didn't even notice he'd been holding it until he let go. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

Your wide-eyed gaze snapped back to look up at him, "No! No, it's not that! And... it's not bad." Your hand felt strangely empty now that his was gone. Biting your lip, you disclosed, "You're not making me uncomfortable, Mal. Don't ever think that."

With that, you shyly interlocked your arm with his, tearing your eyes from his to mask the growing warmth you felt spreading in your veins. You two didn't say anything else when the ushers let you walk down the beautiful, petal-covered aisle together.

The man beside you was starstruck. Hopeful. Maybe both of you did have a chance. Maybe somewhere in the depths of your soul, his feelings for you were being reciprocated. For the rest of the sacred ceremony in the gorgeous main pavilion, both of you relished in short, comfortable, and low conversations. He even cracked jokes every once in a while—really funny ones that made it challenging for you to you stifle your laughter.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride."

Maliksi fervently prayed to Bathala that he'd experience the same opportunity he was seeing with you someday. One day.

Even while the sun was brightly out, the sky began showering down light rain onto the land. You were in awe as you looked out the window.

"Hala, totoo nga pala! Tignan mo!" you laughed, tugging Maliksi's suit sleeve, pointing at the window.

"Na ano?" he curiously inquired, not understanding what you were referring to.

"Na kapag may tikbalang na kinakasal, umuulan habang may araw pa," you replied, eyes filled with childlike mirth and wonder. A rainbow had even begun to form by the clouds. "Look, it's magical! Ang ganda pala ng view dito kasama ang old Spanish architecture. Timeless na timeless. It's so pretty, 'no? Picture tayo 'maya, Mal."

Unlike you, it wasn't the sky outside that the prince was looking at. Amidst the loud cheers for the newlywed couple and the bubbles the guests were blowing, his vision could only focus on how magnificent you looked while being amazed. You were his best view. (Ed from 90-Day Fiancé, kabahan ka na, may katapat ka sa pickup line mo.)

》》》

"Smile for the picture!"

You giggled as Maliksi was dragged into a photo-op with the bridesmaids and the important older wedding sponsors a few feet away (funnily, he looked a little constipated around them). All of a sudden, when he was heading back to your direction, you were roughly pushed into the said man's arms. When you turned around, there was nothing (except maybe a gust of wind that came out of nowhere).

"Ooh, gotcha. Careful," the tikbalang steadied you, strong hands holding your biceps. "Natapilok ka?"

"... Huh, hindi naman," you wondered suspiciously, looking around. "I think someone pushed me? Parang tinulak ako... but wala namang tao."

"Weird. Maybe it was just the wind."

It actually was. Really. Maliksi knew for a fact that it was those two taong hangin who were spying on you from the corner, trying to pair you up. He gave them a thumbs-up while your back was turned in the opposite direction. Hannah and Amie returned the thumbs-up before vanishing. Suddenly, the two wedding photographers had moved on from the bridesmaids and were right beside you.

"What a lovely couple you two are!" she praised. Before you could correct her, she held up the black contraption she held towards you two. "Pose for the camera, lovelies!"

And so you did, the photographer guiding you two on what to do. Maliksi wrapped his arm around your waist and you leaned on his side, looking sidewards to the camera with one leg cocked in front of the other. Her assistant, who was holding a polaroid camera, printed out two photos for you.

"Thank you," you told him, taking the photos from his hands then flicking them rapidly to make the images develop. You and Mal were about to walk to the reception area when the photographer stopped you, handing the male beside you a business card.

"If you two need a photographer or a videographer for your wedding, call me," she signaled to both of you before running to another guest, bringing her assistant with her.

You gawked, "Mal, did you just hear what she said?"

"Loud and clear." A grin was on his face. He seemed very pleased at what he heard.

"... How can she even tell if someone is married or not?"

Maliksi's free hand took your left hand, tapping the ring finger, "Nothing here."

"Ooooooh. I get it now." Your brows creased. "Huh. This is like the fifth time today the people here have mistaken us for a couple."

Maliksi shrugged, teasing you, "Who knows? Baka may potential tayo, babe."

Before you could ask him what he meant, he was hurriedly towing you to the reception venue. While he was doing that, you stared at the now-developed polaroid photos you were holding. Huh. Maybe you two did look like a couple.

"Come on, they're serving some snacks at the welcome reception area. Peach pie and mango float-flavored. Paborito mo, babe."

》》》

The rest of the night went by without a hitch. You were actually enjoying the event—the host was great, the food was great, the music was great. Everything was great... that was, until the games.

"Alright! Now that the bride's garter has been removed, let's have the bouquet and garter toss... starting with the females!" the host announced. "Dear bride, please stay here in front. And all single ladies—and by single I mean ready to mingle and are not married—please rise and stand here on the dance floor. Let's play matchmaker tonight, everyone!"

"Uy, single ladies daw," Maliksi nudged your side. "Sign mo na 'yan." You snorted like a pig.

"Nope, ayokong madamay sa bouquet toss," you whisper-yelled at your best friend. "Do you know how embarrassing that is?! Besides, they won't notice if I don't join! Special tactic ko 'yan sa weddings: pretending I'm not single. Katabi naman kita."

More women came to the front, making you feel assured that you didn't need to participate. The host was about to say something, when the bride interrupted to whisper something into his ear.

"Hala, halaaa! Sabi ko all single ladies, pero may isang single lady na nagtatago pa!" he announced, making you freeze. Please don't let it be you. "What's her name, beloved bride?"

"Y/N L/N." You nearly spat out your champagne. You? Did they just call out your name? How did they know?

"Oh fuck," you cursed quietly.

"'Di ka makakatakas dito, babe," Maliksi jabbed, making you stand up. "Tinatawag ka na."

"Baka may ibang Y/N L/N dito," you resisted, attempting to sit back down. "I can't do this, Mal."

"'Sus, ikaw pa. And it's just a symbolic ceremony!" he encouraged, as if he didn't have any underlying intentions. "I doubt the bouquet will go to you anyway."

Sheesh, what a big fat liar you are, tikbalang prince.

You expressed your dissatisfaction with the situation, "Bwiset, fine. I'll just... dodge it. Or evade it. God, I swear..." You calmed down, confident. "I'm not going to worry. I've never caught the bouquet at my own friends' weddings anyway."

When you were at the dance floor, Maliksi snickered, seeing the bride—his cousin—wink at him. After all, he had thoroughly bribed her earlier.

《《《

"It's about time you settled down with someone, Mal," the bride commented while he slipped her the newest Hermés designer bag filled with a bunch of jewelry (plus some bills) two hours ago, right before the reception began and while you were in the restroom freshening up. "Hehehe, this is why you're my favorite cousin."

"Do we have a deal?"

"Of course. I'll make sure she participates. I'll also try to throw it in her direction."

"Good. Thanks."

"You better invite me to your beach wedding. I can tell how much you love her."

"Not a problem. I'll even make you a sponsor."

The bride stared at her bouquet, already practicing how she was going to throw it, "Tito's going to thank me so much for ensuring that he's going to get grandkids soon, hihi."

》》》

Back to the present, on the other end of the room, Maliksi saw a familiar duo give him a sign that they were ready. Bingo. Time to execute the most important part of his plan.

《《《

"I don't care how you do it," he told the two wind elementals after he bribed the bride. "I've already instructed the bride on what she should do, pero siguraduhin niyo lang talagang lumipad sa kanya ang bouquet."

"Mmhmm," Amie flipped her hair, a hand on her cocked hip. "And what do we get in return, oh great Señorito Armanaz?"

"Sagot ko bar-hopping niyo for one month."

The two girls pretended to think about it, making Maliksi roll his eyes. He had to pull out the big guns, huh?

"Fine. Magbibigay ako ng cash deposit plus pwede niyong gamitin ang black card ko for a one-week shopping spree in Ortigas." There. Bullseye. That's what they liked.

"Deal!" they exclaimed excitedly.

Hannah let a cool gust of wind enter one of the nearby windows, testing out how they're going to do this. "Ano pa bang pinaplano mo for Y/N mamaya?"

Maliksi hummed, "Basta."

》》》

You tried your best to hide within the densest part of the group of women. The bride seemed to have her eyes on you, weirdly enough, and she looked almost feral wanting to throw her flowers into someone's face.

That someone being you. Most likely.

"Target locked on," you saw her mouth move. She positioned herself like she was about to throw a football at someone (ahem, you). Holy shit, was she talking to you? Miss ma'am, it was a bouquet toss not a bouquet throw. The bride seemed to notice this, and once more regained her elegant composure.

"3, 2, 1," the host counted down. "Go!"

Surprisingly, the bouquet flew very high into the air (it was a wonder it didn't get tangled in the ceiling decor), but quite a distance away from you. You grinned, knowing it was too far to even touch you. Squeezing through the crowd of women eagerly awaiting the bouquet, you went to return to your assigned table.

Ah, what a wonderful evening.

Sike!

Something painfully landed right into your face, leaves and flowers getting into your hair and mouth.

... Wait, leaves and flowers?

Before you could comprehend it, the bouquet dropped right into your arms. What kind of ungodly, inhuman force allowed this to even happen?

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have our lucky girl for the night!" Everyone clapped, with some—those guests you knew—even cheering your name unbelievably loud. The host approached you, a glint in his eye which you couldn't understand. "Miss Y/N, kindly sit here while we await the lucky guy who catches the garter from the groom."

What just happened?

"All single gentlemen, please proceed to the dance floor. Remember, the man who gets the garter gets to slip it onto the lucky lady's leg later!"

Oh, God. You pinched the bridge of your nose. What you'd give to be back at home or to be in that resort in Batangas you'd planned on going to for a solo vacation.

"To make this even more exciting," the host stated, handing you a black blindfold. "Our lucky lady has to keep her eyes closed until her lucky man for the night captures the bride's garter! When the music plays, only then can she uncover her eyes."

See? Humiliating, just as you expected. Still, you wrapped the blindfold around your head (albeit hesitantly). You attempted to guess who it might be, thinking of all the tikbalang friends Maliksi had introduced to you back then whenever he invited you to his clan reunions.

"Groom, are you ready?" the host asked, microphone loud and clear.

"Ready na ready!"

"Single gentlemen, are you ready?!"

"Ready na ready! Awoo, awoo!" they loudly chorused, exactly mimicking Spartans about to engage in battle. You sweatdropped in the seat you were in. This was actually kind of scary. Maybe you felt a bit objectified.

"3, 2, 1, go!"

There was a brief moment of silence, which made you concerned. Ba't ang tahimik? Then, everyone erupted into roars and bravoes much louder than when you caught the bouquet—perhaps even louder by tenfold. What the heck was happening?!

The music played. Very raunchy, spicy, babymaking music. You expected it to be the typical Careless Whisper by George Michael or Pony by Ginuwine (corny songs which you could probably laugh at, at least), but no. Nuh-uh, this was probably worse. The DJ must be pretty young, the song of their choosing being a slowed, bass-boosted, sexier remix of Earned It by the Weeknd.

Ano 'to, bold? Fifty Shades of Grey? The hell was this?

Alright. This was embarrassing. Thank the heavens there were no children at this party. From the music alone and its implications, this was strictly for adults.

You removed your blindfold (that was okay now, right?) as the guests whistled playfully. You peeked one eye open reluctantly, then inwardly groaned. Oh, no. You should've expected it to be him of all people from how loud the reactions were. And all those yells from the crowd were from his family.

Son of a—

"Well, this has proven to be a very interesting arrangement!" the host proclaimed. "Our lucky man for tonight is none other than our great clan leader's heir, Maliksi Armanaz! Congratulations, sir! You get to slip the lacey little garter on Miss Y/N!"

The said very smug tikbalang stood a few feet away from the chair you were sitting on, smirking at you. His hair was no longer in that mesmerizing ponytail—instead, he'd tied it into a more sinfully attractive man-bun, loose strands framing his face and accentuating that sharp, angled jaw of his (say yes and thank you to Manny Jacinto's jawline, besties).

"Let's cheer him on in his new mission, everybody!" the host pushed. Was this that glint in his eye earlier? And was that a one thousand peso bill sticking out of his pocket?

The groomsmen, Mal's cousins and uncles whom you've met before, hollered words of encouragement to the tall man (who was, oddly enough, not one bit fazed). In fact, Maliksi seemed like he was famished as he stared you down.

You swallowed, feeling like you were going to get eaten (heh, say that again). Maliksi had shrugged off his dark suit blazer to the beat of the song (holy fuck, he also unclasped the suspenders attached to his pants right before your eyes—asdfghjkl). Were you prepared for this? No. Will you ever be prepared? No!

"Mr. Armanaz, before you begin," the host interrupted. "We have an additional challenge for you in this mission. Kaya mo ba? It was a request of the newlywed couple."

"What is it?"

"Use your teeth!" the bride and the groom cheerfully shouted, clapping with the other guests. Whatdidtheysaaaaay???

The cocky bastard didn't even hesitate, his smirk at you growing wider; those pearly whites of his on full display. Was it just you or were his canines a little sharper than usual?

"Anything for the newlyweds. Challenge accepted," he dashingly replied, winking at you. You sputtered indignantly. Pisteng yawa. Putangina. Putek. Pakshet. You swore you thought of every swear word in the book at that moment. What did that YouTube parody song about Filipino mythological creatures say again? About the tikbalang? Ah, yes. Half-macho dancer and half-stallion. Maybe the joke was true, especially when you saw what Maliksi did next.

He bit the shred of lace, loosening his necktie (bestie, you good there?), unbuttoning some top buttons, and rolling up the sleeves of his collared white undershirt up to his elbows (consequently showing off his toned, veiny forearms—those lucky bridesmaids behind him nearly fainted). Honestly, you felt like you were about to lose your mind from embarrassment. With how tantalizing your guy best friend was being? Let our response be: San Pedro, kunin mo na ako. Was he doing all this to tease you? To rile you up?

Because damn it all, it was working. In your ten years of knowing Maliksi Armanaz, withstanding all his daily dirty jokes and flirtatious attempts, never had you seen him like this. So... wolfish. Ravenous. Like he was a man that hadn't been fed in years.

He stalked closer towards you, falling to his knees in front of your legs. Your gown had a long slit that extended up to an inch or two below where your left leg began—your best friend was eyeing his target already, knowing where to place the garter. Normally, you would never even wear something as revealing as this gown. It just wasn't your type, but Maliksi was the one who bought this for you for this specific occasion, so you had no choice. It was this or your pantulog he stole you in just hours ago. At first, you were confident in the gown. Now? You felt too... naked.

Somehow, in the heat of it all, you'd muted out the noise of the venue. Maliksi teasingly lifted your foot up, fingertips slyly grazing the thin shoe straps around your left foot—his calculated touch leaving fire in its trail. Once the garter had been successfuly inserted past your high-heeled stilettos, the man kneeling in front of you kept his hands to himself. Despite the fact that now there was absolutely zero skin-to-skin contact between you and this man, your body felt hotter than it ever was before as he expertly slid the lacy bit of cloth up your ankle at an agonizingly slow pace.

Maliksi's warm eyes had turned dark, his pupils blown, a tinge of red in them—of his true beast—while he maintained striking eye contact with you, pulling the garter up your calf with his teeth. Smoothly tugging... tugging... tugging. Tangina, it was like he was undressing you with his eyes alone; like he was telepathically telling you to keep your eyes open.

To keep your eyes on him, where he was knelt inbetween your legs, his hands intentionally locked on his back. Did you ever imagine this? Him between your legs? Maybe. Once or twice. But you never thought about it seriously; Maliksi dated girls left and right in the past.

His lips... his lips were so close... so close to your leg that you could feel the heat of his breath along with the lace. Were you about to die? Perhaps you already did. Maybe you were in heaven. Up... up... up... snap!

Suddenly, he stopped, grinning up at you mischievously and letting the elastic bounce back to the skin of your left knee.

"I'm not going any further, don't worry, babe," he whispered, noting that your eyes had become misty and glazed over. Internally, he grew worried. "That's enough." Did he think it was from discomfort? From you being uncomfortable? Bitch, no. It was the exact opposite. You had never been this turned on in your entire life.

You felt like your soul had left your body at that moment. Did you just have a heart attack? Was your blood pressure okay? Before you or Maliksi could stand, however, someone bellowed from the wedding sponsor tables.

"Higher! That's an order!"

Fucking hell, it was Maliksi's father who shouted. He wasn't in the huge tikbalang form you'd normally meet him in, but he was still very intimidating in his humanoid form, commanding attention and subservience wherever he went. You could tell where Maliksi got it from.

Instantly, the other guests—already half-drunk and wanting the spirit of partying to continue on—joined in.

"Higher! Higher!"

The host cheered, "You heard Señor Armanaz! Higher!"

Maliksi gave you a questioning look. Even if it was his father who spoke up, he still wouldn't do anything you didn't want. Well, you two made it this far; there was no point in getting embarrassed now. You bit the inside of your cheek, nodding. You probably couldn't erase the redness on your skin with how much you'd blushed from this night. It was as if the heat was tattooed onto your skin.

"Go on, Mal," you whispered to him, bending your torso down closer to his face, eyes half-lidded from want. "Finish what you started, babe."

With those sultry bedroom eyes he'd never once seen you show him before—plus you turning the tables with that familiar term of endearment, how could he refuse? Like a switch had been flipped inside him, he immediately complied, taking the frilly scrap of stretchy lace between his teeth once more, moving it further up to your thighs until where your high slit ended—centimeters below the warming juncture between your legs.

Your legs felt wobbly... boneless, as you stood up from the chair, the fabric of your gown cascading over where the lace sat securely on your upper left thigh. The party was still going strong even after you two finished the garter wearing tradition.

"'Atta boy! That's my son!" Señor Armanaz blazoned, standing up and raising his glass for a toast. "Cheers to the newlywed couple! May they last forever!"

You guys weren't the newlyweds, but it did sure feel like it. If the clan leader was hyped up, everyone was hyped up. Heck, the groom and the bride didn't mind one bit what had just transpired on their dance floor. In all the chaos, Maliksi took you out of the reception area and somewhere quieter. More private.

You would need to have a serious, urgent talk with your boy best friend.

》》》

You two silently sat on a stone bench in a gazebo somewhere in the reserved venue for the wedding, trying to cool down and get yourselves back together (at this point, you needed ice from that steamy, half-scandalous event you just went through). Here, there was no one else except for the chirping of crickets, the lush trees surrounding the area, and the golden fairy lights strewn all over the roof. Awkwardness was something you'd expected after what just happened, but somehow, you still felt comfort in this man's presence. For the past thirty minutes, both of you just stayed still, lost in your thoughts and reflecting.

"Mal?" you finally spoke up.

"... Hmm?"

"Ano tayo?"

"Whatever you want us to be."

Your fingers instinctively reached out for his, just like they always did when you were anxious. Sensing this, he grasped your hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Soothingly. He massaged the skin of your fingers, distracting you from your nervousness. It seemed like both nothing and everything changed between both of you. The gesture was the same, but so different at the same time.

"Mahal mo ako." It was not a question. It was a statement. A truth—one that you'd been too blind to see before. One that you only discovered while you stared into each other's eyes in that party not as best friends. You realized with a jolt in your heart what he really felt for you, and now, what you really felt for him. In those thirty minutes of silence, you knew. You just knew.

"Yes. I do."

"... Just as a best friend?" you probed.

"..."

Finally, you gazed into his eyes, previously so dark and full of hunger. Now? Just reluctant. Vulnerable. Open. Unsure of what to do next.

Seems like you had to be the one to take initiative tonight. Taking out your phone, you opened your music app and pressed play on a certain song. Ikaw at Ako by Johnoy Danao. You removed your heels (which were starting to blister your ankles and toes), then pulled him up to stand.

"Dance with me," you murmured, grabbing his arms to wrap them around your waist. He was stiff. Tense. What was he to do when the woman he's been pining after for so long let him hold her? All his gallantry and ability to romance disappeared out the window the moment you let him touch you so intimately.

You two weren't even waltzing. Just swaying. Slowly, you leaned your head on his broad chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart.

"... I love you," Maliksi admitted in the middle of it all, feeling like he was dreaming. Your head on his chest kept him grounded to reality, however. "More than anything in the universe. I fell for you ever since you patched me up when you were nineteen and I was a reckless drag racer who didn't have a purpose in life. 'Nung dinala mo ako pabalik sa Armanaz Tower on the verge of death. Simula noon, ikaw lang."

"I realized that," you smiled, reminiscing the old memory. You were just a broke college student that time, coming back to your dorm from making your group thesis at a classmate's house. Imagine your panic when you found a half-man, half-horse bleeding out by some bushes on the way home at night. Despite your fear and your little money (only enough to feed you for the week), you went out of your way to buy a first-aid kit at the nearest 7/11. It was scary, but you managed to mend the creature's wounds by the side of the road. When he was finally able to speak, turning fully human (which you admit, freaked you out initially), you arduously carried him back to his address—to his father and his clan, even if you had classes the very next morning. Because of your heroic deed of saving their precious heir, the tikbalang clan had become indebted to you: a teenage girl on the verge of a mental academic breakdown, just making her way through the cruel adult world. How old of a memory that was, you thought, yet you still recalled it in perfect detail. "Just a while ago."

"Ah." He swayed you gently.

"Lahat ng ito, plano mo?"

"... Yes," Maliksi fessed up. "Except for this part where we're here dancing in this belvedere. Wala sa plano ko. Gusto ko sanang magconfess doon sa may fountain para sweet, pero..."

You lifted your head off his chest, smiling at him with one brow raised, "You know, between both of us, you're supposed to be the spontaneous one. Planning isn't usually your thing."

"I know. It's a failure, huh?" Maliksi sighed.

"Nah." You shook your head, then suddenly locked lips with him. It was so fast and surprising he didn't even get the chance to return your first kiss. For once, you caught him off guard. You pecked him on the lips again. "It's not a failure."

"Wha—"

"I'm sorry for making you wait, Maliksi. Ten years. We're twenty-nine now, and only tonight do I realize how blind I've been. We've been going around in circles, wasting so much time. Ayoko nang mag-aksaya ng oras," you whispered guiltily against his lips. How could you have been so blind? Andaming nasayang na taon. Making up your mind, you told him, "Yes. Sige, I accept. I'll be your plus one."

The tikbalang was flustered and baffled from the kiss, as well as your revelation, "... But, you already are?"

"No, silly. I meant that I'll be your plus one for life. For as long as you'll have me," you laughed, now processing that you were currently dancing barefoot with your boy best friend and had just kissed him in a wedding you didn't even plan on going to. The universe had a mysterious way of doing things. "Guess I'm the spontaneous one now, huh?"

Maliksi was tongue-tied. "Seryoso ka ba? Is... Is this a marriage proposal?"

"Whatever you want it to be," you echoed his words back to him. "Best friend, plus one, girlfriend, wife—mmpf!"

He kissed you so hard your lips bruised. After an impromptu makeout session which was definitely more in character for Maliksi, you both pulled away, panting heavily in search for air, still desperate for passion. He cupped your cheeks, giving you a sweet, featherlight Eskimo kiss.

"You're missing one more title."

"Hm? What do you mean, Mal?"

"Love of my life." He kissed you again, this time lifting you off your feet and spinning you around (his sneaky right hand was resting on your bum, too, giving it a tight squeeze). You know in the Princess Diaries where the main character's foot just... pops whenever the prince charming kissed her? Yeah, that happened to you on that humid summer night. This was right. You two were meant to be together. Everything was falling into place.

The bungalow you reserved for your Batangas vacation leave ended up being the site of your very eventful honeymoon with the Prince of the Tikbalang (with his libido, it wasn't that difficult to continue where you'd left off in the garter toss; that scrap of lace came off your leg the same way it went on). Actually, nauna pa ang honeymoon sa actual wedding (it was definitely spontaneous). Right after your confession in that alcove, you two went to Maliksi's father to ask for his blessing (which he gladly gave, cackling and saying that it took you long enough) before you guys went driving off to Batangas that night. You and Mal indeed had lots and lots of fun in that resort (I'll let you imagine the rest). More beautiful memories were made from that point on—this time, not just as best friends.

All that and your small, intimate wedding occurred in early April. Just when you thought that it'd be impossible to fulfill Maliksi's life goal of having a baby within the year (nine months of pregnancy meant that the earliest you'd give birth would be January next year), the impossible happened.

Exactly thirty-two weeks later, on New Year's Eve, the Armanaz herd welcomed one prince and two new princesses into the world. Triplets who were instantly adored by everyone in the clan.

Señor Armanaz had never been happier, and so were you and your husband. Your best friend. The love of your life. Your forever plus one.

Maybe being spontaneous wasn't so bad after all.

Taglist: @belladaises @binibiningbabaylan @4kodzuk3n @sparklingmallow @severuslovebot @holyshxtangel @marinac15 @space-flamingo @pippethealien @kashasenpai @disappointmentpastry @hornehlittleweeblet2 @seijohoe @monimiin @ibelievein2dmensupremacy @tinybonksharkcop @methehipster @banisuoh @genshin-idiot @lemonnie-kimmie

[skzsauce01]

Bird Is the Word

Synopsis: A series of drunk texts leads to one of the best and worst things that has ever happened to you. Or, Han Jisung is never going to let you forget the time you forgot the word ‘bird.’ College AU. Not a text fic but does include some texts.

Warning: alcohol, a lot of bird puns

Word Count: 8.1k

Pairing: fem!reader x Han Jisung

2:23 AM [Me]: sOS SOS SOS SOSOSOS 2:23 AM [Me]: I NEED HELPPPP 2:23 AM [Jisung Bio]: You okay?? 2:23 AM [Me]: YOU SMART HELPPPPP

2:24 AM [Jisung Bio]: Do you want me to call the police?? 2:24 AM [Me]: WHAT ARE THE FLUFFY ANIMALS THAT GO FLAP CALLED 2:24 AM [Jisung Bio]: Is this a code word? 2:24 AM [Me]: THEY GO FLAP AND EAT SEEDS 2:24 AM [Jisung Bio]: Do you mean birds? 2:24 AM [Jisung Bio]: Are you drunk?

2:25 AM [Me]: [blurry_photo_of_your_window.jpg] 2:25 AM [Me]: HERE LOOK 2:25 AM [Me]: YES BIRDS 2:25 AM [Me]: THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH 2:25 AM [Me]: LOVE YOUUUUU

In your defense, you were drunk. And when you are drunk, your critical thinking skills disappear and are replaced by pure, uninhibited stupidity. It’s like some twisted Jekyll and Hyde situation, but only when you drink, you transform into this other version of yourself instead of suppressing it.

You mostly remember the things you have done and said while under the influence. The most embarrassing ones tend to be fuzzy. If it weren’t for the grainy phone video taken by Seungmin and your own voice cheerfully declaring that you had an idea, you wouldn’t have realized that you were the idiot who tried to make a chalk mural at the four-way intersection in the middle of the night. You didn’t even have chalk, but that didn’t stop you from drawing on the asphalt with a broken pen you found on the sidewalk.

Good thing Seungmin had the foresight to drag you back to the crosswalk before a car could come speeding by.

However, that legendary act of idiocy doesn’t even compare to this new one. Forget the fact that you could have died.

Your biology class just went over survival of the fittest using Darwin’s finches as an example. How in the world did you forget about the word ‘bird?’ Why did you think it was a good idea to ask the cute guy in your bio study group about “THE FLUFFY ANIMALS THAT GO FLAP?” And why, why, why did you insist on telling him that you loved him? The ‘THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH’ was already enough.

Jisung is never going to let you live this down.

It’s fine. You’re fine. It’s not like you spent the entire Sunday morning knocking back glasses of water and wishing it was vodka instead. It’s not like you drafted about five different apology messages and deleted them all. It’s not like you have to see him in class tomorrow.

Really, you’re fine.

You go out of your way to make yourself as inconspicuous as possible, which probably means you are very conspicuous. Do normal people not wear hoodies and sweatpants to class now, or are you just overthinking everything? The two people in the row in front of you are wearing jeans, and the girl heading down your row has a polka-dotted dress on. A secondary glance at the girl tells you that it’s another member of your study group. Speaking of the study group, maybe you should find another one. Preferably one without Jisung in it.

“Morning,” Lia says as she takes the seat beside you. She sets down her purple water bottle on the floor with a light clink. “How was your weekend?”

Terrible, but you say, “It was fine. I finished up the readings and did some notes. How about you?”

“Those readings took me forever!” she groans. “I was trying to finish everything on Saturday, so I could go out on Sunday. Which I did manage to do, so it all worked out. I got a new dress!” She plucks at the bodice of her dress, and you finally take a closer look at the pattern.

They’re not polka dots. They’re freaking birds — swoopy doves with outstretched wings. Or at least you think they’re doves. Your lack of bird knowledge speaks for itself.

“It’s pretty,” you hollowly say. The universe seems determined to remind you of your texts. Lia’s face falters, and you realize your disdain came across as you lying. “No, it’s not like that! Just… bad experiences with birds. You look really nice in this.”

She brightens up. “Oh, thanks! What do you mean by ‘bad experiences?’ What happened?”

“Good morning, birdbrain!”

“That happened.”

Looking far too happy for a Monday morning, Jisung takes the other seat beside you. He has a cup of coffee stacked high with whipped cream and chocolate drizzle, and you wonder if his extreme cheerfulness is from the caffeine or from your impending public humiliation. Why did you have to pick this guy to have a crush on? Sure, he’s cute and smart and sometimes nice, but there are plenty of people who have those traits without his witticism.

Lia looks at you with more amusement than concern. “So what happened?”

You tell her about what really happened during the weekend, and Jisung laughs all the while, reenacting his facial expression when he received your first frantic SOS message. Meanwhile, you sink lower and lower into your chair, ignoring your tailbone’s cries of pain as you slide further down the thin cushion.

“You can’t hide forever,” Jisung remarks as he looks at your slumping form. “C’mon, it wasn’t that bad. And you were drunk anyway.”

Yeah, you were, but the whole thing is doubly embarrassing because of how much you want him to like you. The overenthusiastic, all-caps messages are normal whenever you text while drunk, but ‘I love yous’ and the even rarer ‘I LOVE YOUUUU’  are few and far between. Only six people excluding Jisung have received them: your parents, your best friend, and your statistics group project members because you accidentally sent the message to the wrong chat.

On the bright side, seven is a lucky number. It means absolutely nothing in this case, and it’s hardly relevant to how you’re feeling, but everyone copes differently. Yours just happens to be clinging onto any silver lining available for solace.

“Anyway,” Lia cuts in, saving you from replying, “you’re here early, Jisung.”

He shrugs and flashes her a playful smile. However, his eyes are focused on you when he says, “You know what they say: early bird gets the worm.”

You give him a pitiful attempt of a withering glare. “I hate you.”

“Okay, fine.” He tugs at the shoulder of your hoodie to motion for you to stop trying to melt into the ground and to help you up. “It’s ‘cause I knew you would be here early.”

You are calm, you are fine, you will not be flustered. He just teased you five seconds ago; you should not be this willing to forgive him under these circumstances. Nonetheless, you slide back up to a more normal sitting position and try to pretend that you are still mildly upset. His next sentences make that impossible.

“You guys want brownies? Felix was stress-baking again.”

One may call you easily swayed by food, and they would be right. Jisung lets you have a coveted corner piece, and you decide that he’s alright again. He stretches an arm in front of you to get to Lia, and you lean back to avoid bumping into him. It also gives you a clear view of his profile. Wow, is he pretty. Look at that jawline. Suddenly his eyes go wide, and his mouth splits into a familiar excited grin.

“Are those birds?”

“Yep,” Lia answers, looking over at you to check your reaction. She tries to hide her smile, but it’s clear as day. You’re not entirely sure what she’s going to say next, but you already know it’s going to involve your current least favorite animal species. “Pretty… dove-ly, don’t you think?”

At least you were right about them being doves. “I hate you both.”

Jisung laughs at her pun and holds out his palm for a high-five. “You know what they say: birds of a feather flock together.”

“I really hate you both.”

Your initial prediction that Jisung is never going to let you live this down is correct. When you meet your bio group again Thursday night to study for the upcoming quiz, Jisung brings lemon poppy seed muffins for seemingly no other reason than to tease you. His housemate is still stress-baking, and judging by the bird silhouette made of glaze, Felix is very stressed and very eager to indulge in Jisung’s ideas.

“They’re finches!” Jisung proudly announces as he sets one right in front of you. The stupid decoration on top mocks you, but the muffin looks and smells delicious.  

Hyunjin, who does not know about your current plight but does know about Darwin’s finches, appreciatively coos at them. “They’ve even got different beak shapes! These are so cool. Man, Felix must hate econ right now.”

“No kidding,” you mutter as you begin peeling off the wrapper. Felix must hate you as well because one bite of this is almost enough for you to forgive Jisung again. It’s that good. How are you supposed to stay mad at Jisung when he gives you free delicious food? “Forget college, he needs to be in culinary school.”

He smirks from across the table, and it takes a lot of willpower for you to pretend you’re unphased. “What if I told you that I made these?”

“Then I would call you a liar.” He better be lying. You do not need another reason to justify your crush on him.

“And you would be right.” He slides his plastic container down to Lia, who has just arrived and is eyeballing the muffins like a predator. “But I did help him.”

“It’s really good,” you admit. You continue nibbling on it, determined to make the muffin last as long as you can. “What part did you help him out with?”

“The birds on top. Turns out drawing them with runny glaze is hard. I gave you the prettiest one, so don’t get mad about the whole bird thing. It goes with what we’re studying too.”

“Fine,” you sigh as you fold the wrapper into halves over and over again. “But only because these are amazing.”

Hyunjin leans in closer, effectively popping the intimate bubble you and Jisung were in. “What’s ‘the bird thing?’”

Fortunately, Yeji has finally arrived, which gives you the perfect excuse to stop Jisung from letting another person know of your drunk texts. You make a big production of pulling out your notebook from your backpack and rifling through your pencil bag for a pen.

“Should we get started?” you ask. Lia nods and uncaps one of her many highlighters.

“I’ll tell you later,” Jisung whispers to Hyunjin, winking at you. You could cry, melt, die. You could do a lot of things, but you opt to stick your tongue out at him. So what if you’re being childish? You can barely concentrate on the real world after that wink. To Yeji, he says, “There’s snacks, if Lia hasn’t eaten them all yet.”

“Hey!”

Hyunjin laughs at her notorious sweet tooth before turning to Yeji. “He gave Y/N the prettiest one, so there’s probably only his fails left.”

“They’re not bad!”

Lia has only had two, so there are more than enough to choose from. Yeji peers inside the container before selecting the one closest to her.

“Is this a plague doctor?” she asks as she suppresses a laugh. “It’s got a top hat.”

Jisung shakes his head and groans. “You chose the worst one on purpose. It’s one of Darwin’s finches. You would have known if you studied.”

“It’s not my fault you can’t draw.” Taking no notice of Jisung’s affronted expression, she takes out the textbook the five of you split the cost to buy. “Okay, plague doctor cupcakes out of the way, what are the four main theories of evolution?”

“They’re lemon poppy seed finch muffins,” he clarifies.

“That’s not an evolution theory,” Hyunjin cheekily replies, earning him an elbow nudge from Jisung and a laugh from everyone else.

You end up answering Yeji’s question and reward your correct answer with another muffin. Besides them being addictive, you’ll need some energy for the rest of the study session if all this talk about birds persists. You select the most plague doctor-ish one out of the box, and Jisung notices.

“Seriously?” he pouts. “I give you the best one, and this is how you repay me? I thought you said you weren’t mad about the bird thing.”

You ignore the last sentence. “What? You’re not proud of these?” you say, mock astonished as you give him a good view of the glaze on top. “They look exactly like plague doctors.”

“I hate you.”

You smile and shrug before returning back into the discussion about Lamarckism. Let him get a taste of his own medicine.

Unfortunately, as promised and as possible revenge, Jisung tells Hyunjin about ‘the bird thing,’ and Yeji overhears since she is only two chairs away. You try melting into the ground instead, but Lia holds you in place as the story continues, so you are stuck reliving the memory. You knew Jisung wouldn’t let you forget, but you didn’t account for everyone else in the group finding out and joining in on the torture.

But thanks to Jisung’s brilliant idea to bring those spectacularly decorated muffins, he doesn’t go unscathed either. It’s a mediocre consolation prize, but you’ll take it.

All around, it’s a productive study session, if a bit long, courtesy of everyone’s unrelenting shots at you and Jisung.

Your study group splits off in three separate directions once you’re all at the library entrance: Yeji back to the on-campus dorms where she’s an RA, Hyunjin and Lia to the off-campus apartments a few streets down, you and Jisung to the bus stop to your apartments on the other of campus. There’s a few people already sitting at the bench, so you and Jisung stand under the streetlight nearby. A moth intent on reaching the light source rams itself repeatedly against the glass covering, and you tiredly watch it. You yawn.

“Not much of a night owl?” he asks. With no clever reply ready, you gently shove him towards the bushes, but he only sways at your push. He throws his hands up in surrender. “Alright, I’ll stop for today.”

“I’m really sorry for sending you that,” you say. You haven’t touched the chat between you and him since the incident. “And for not apologizing earlier.”

“It’s alright. Although I almost had a heart attack when you sent me ‘SOS’ like five times.”

You grimace as you remember your frantic texts. If you think back hard enough, you remember furiously tapping at your screen, trying to get his attention as quick as possible because you really, really, really needed to know what the animal that landed on your windowsill was called. Your housemate was in the next room over. You could have asked her instead, but no, you decided that Jisung from bio was the best option. Not even the group chat, just Jisung himself.

“Sorry again,” you weakly reply.

“It really is alright. Finding bird puns is my new favorite hobby now.” He wryly smiles. “I have so many more to try on you. You’re gonna love it.”

Is that endearing or annoying? Living rent-free inside his head isn’t terrible, especially since he seems to do the same in yours. You’ll probably have to endure lots more puns from him in the future, but for now, you’ll decide that it’s endearing.

The bus arrives, and you sit in the back with him. The ride to the apartment complex is quiet; only a group of people near the front are speaking to one another in low voices. Jisung makes no attempt at continuing the conversation, and you are content to stare out into the neon lights outside the window. You can see him in the reflection on the glass. The empty container devoid of muffins sits on Jisung’s lap, his phone placed face down on the lid. If it weren’t for all the other passengers on the bus, you would be convinced that it was just you and him, enjoying each other’s company.

You’re almost sad when you reach your stop.

“Do you want me to walk you to your apartment?” he asks as you step down to the pavement. “Yours is farther down, right?”

“Isn’t your place right here?” you say. You’ve seen him walk out from this particular complex several times while waiting for the bus. That’s not stalking. “You don’t have to go out of your way. It’s just a block away.”

“Yeah, I’m definitely walking you home.”

You hesitate a bit, but Jisung is already taking small steps in the direction of your apartment. A little more time with him doesn’t sound too horrendous right now. “Okay.”

Just like the bus ride, no conversation, which suits you fine. Jisung seems more enthralled by looking into the windows of apartment residents anyway. You can’t blame him, especially when it appears that someone is having their own mini rave in their living room. Once at the doors to your building, you thank him and tell him good night.

“No problem and good luck tomorrow.” His voice is softer at night, or maybe it’s because he’s tired as well.

Your tone matches his as well. “You too. See you in class then.”

“Good night.”

A few minutes after midnight, just as you’re about to get into bed, a message from Jisung pops up. Not Jisung in the study group, just Jisung.

12:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: Hey, I know you’re not much of a night owl, so would you call yourself a morning lark? 12:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: You’re always an early bird to class 12:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: Are you emu-sed? 12:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: :D

Well, he did say he would stop for the day. It’s technically the next day. You reply with an annoyed face before burrowing yourself under your blankets. There are other things to worry about, such as your quiz in nine hours.

You dream of birds, namely finches, that night. Thanks, Jisung.

“This is why I tell you to never drink alone,” Seungmin laughs. He picks up the last slice of pizza from the pan and folds it in half like the heathen he is before taking the first bite. “Bad things always happen.”

“To be fair, Ryujin was home.”

“In a completely different room from you.”

You groan and supplement your exasperation with an extra aggressive tear on your crust. “Okay, fine. I’ve learned my lesson. The point is, he won’t stop with the bird jokes, and I’m going insane.”

Seungmin, having been collateral damage from your drunken mishaps before, is unsympathetic. He still hasn’t quite forgiven you for the time you tried to make a Molotov cocktail in his kitchen. Look, the clickbait video you watched online promised that it would be a fun and easy science experiment, and your other self decided that it was a fantastic idea. Nothing bad happened in the end though since you couldn’t find a lighter. So, Seungmin, it really wasn’t that big of a deal.

“You have a crush on this guy. Why are you upset that he’s flirting with you?”

“He’s cute until he opens his mouth and starts giving me grief about birds.” You sigh as you remember the last text he sent: a photo of the sunset from his apartment window with the caption, A bird’s eye view of the neighborhood. On one hand, you were thrilled to have received a non-homework related picture. On the other hand, bird joke.

“You would do the same.”

“I know, but it still sucks.” You wipe your fingers with a napkin and amuse yourself with spinning the empty pan as Seungmin (slowly) finishes eating. “No more Jisung talk. How was your date?”

Seungmin turns flustered, just like you knew he would. “It wasn’t a date! I’m just her photographer. This is a business arrangement, nothing else.”

“Sure, sure. Whatever you say.”

“Hey, is that Jisung over there?” he asks, nodding over your shoulder.

“I’m not that gullible,” you sigh, though you can’t say you aren’t tempted. Seungmin loves to make fun of you, and he probably wants to get back at you for teasing him about the girl he’s been spending a suspicious amount of time with.

“Gull-ible?”

“Not you too," you plead. It's already awful with one person. To deter him any further, you continue, "Anyway, back to your definitely-not-a-date date—”

“Hey, Y/N, is that you?”

Seungmin has his “I told you so” face on. After sending him a glare, which he promptly pretends not to see, you turn around, resting your forearm on the back of your chair. Jisung, holding a pan of oven-fresh pizza, smiles back at you.

“Hey,” you greet. He's wearing the same black and red sweatshirt he usually has on, but why does he look so much better in it when he's in a pizza place than in class or in the library? “How are you doing? How’s your Saturday so far?”

“I just woke up like an hour ago, so it’s been pretty good, I guess.” His eyes go to Seungmin, who is now sipping on his soda, pretending to not eavesdrop. “Is this your…”

“This is my friend, Seungmin,” you quickly answer. Other than the fact that you need to make it abundantly clear that you are available, there is no way you’re ever going to date Seungmin. Apart from the girl he claims to not be dating, he’s even more merciless when it comes to reminding you about your drunken ideas. You can’t pass the intersection without him nudging your arm. “Seungmin, this is Jisung. We have bio together.”

Seungmin nods like he hasn’t heard of Jisung before. “Hey, nice to meet you. So, do you guys learn about birds in bio?”

Jisung lights up like a Christmas tree, and you want to cover yourself with the pizza pan. Praying for the ground to swallow you up also sounds like a decent option. In the midst of debating whether hiding under the table would be too odd, you notice that Seungmin has finally finished his slice.

“We should get going,” you interrupt. You do not need Seungmin to start sharing other stupid things you’ve done. He’s about five seconds away from telling Jisung about the intersection chalk mural. “And you probably want to eat dinner.”

Jisung sees right through your act, but he lets it go. “Yeah, Felix is probably starving. See you on Monday?”

“Yeah, see you.”

You expect him to go to wherever Felix is, but he still remains behind you. With a lopsided grin, he asks, “Should I expect any quail-ity texts at 2 AM tonight?”

Seungmin laughs, Jisung laughs, and you stare at the ceiling, wondering what you did to deserve this. Surely there were other people you could have in your life besides these two jerks.

“Winner, winner, chicken dinner!” Jisung sings as you correctly answer his question. This week’s study session consists of a game show Jisung has created, and you almost want to believe that he put in all this effort just to say that phrase. “Another point for you.”

You sigh as Yeji slides a wrapped piece of candy towards you. It’s her turn to bring snacks, and though milk chocolate the size of golf balls are great, you’re still dreaming of those wickedly delicious cake slices Jisung shared with you yesterday. Hummingbird cake, he claimed, it was called. Bananas, pineapples, and pecans, all combined together to make a sweet treat. When you cheekily asked why his housemate was so stressed all the time — you really don’t mind. Sorry, Felix — Jisung cheerfully informed you that he made the entire thing himself. After you picked up your jaw from the floor, you stammered something about it being passable. Not nearly as good as Felix’s stuff, you said, lying through your teeth. Jisung, again, saw right through it but let it slide. See? Sometimes he’s nice. However, you did not need another reason to be attracted to Han Jisung, but here you are.

“Seriously, Yeji?” you mumble as you pull apart the blue foil. “You just had to pick the brand named after a bird?” It doesn’t stop you from popping the chocolate into your mouth though.

“They were on sale!”

While you and Yeji bicker about Dove chocolate and how the universe is conspiring against you, Hyunjin answers the next question correctly. Yeji absentmindedly pushes his reward towards him.

“No chicken dinner for me?” he asks.

Jisung shakes his head. “Your question was easy. You get a pheasant instead. Or a quail. Any bird smaller than a chicken works.”

“A hummingbird then?” you suggest. You really need to stop thinking about that cake. “But I hear those aren’t that great.”

“You already ate every single crumb of that cake I gave you!” Jisung says, but there’s not a drop of displeasure in his tone. In fact, he seems rather happy that you liked it so much that you remembered about it. “All my hard work gone in five seconds.”

“You made her a cake?” Lia gasps in disbelief, secretive note checking forgotten. She’s in last place with only six points, so no one cares too much about her cheating. “What about us? We’re your study buddies too!”

Hyunjin and Yeji chorus their agreements, and you realize that he only shared his cake with you. He followed you out of the lecture hall and gave it to you in a plastic container, so you assumed that he also hand delivered a few slices to everyone else. Never mind that he oh-so-conveniently had a fork with him. Never mind that he sat with you at a bench and watched you try a few bites before devouring it all. Never mind all that.

Wait. Does this mean he likes you too?

You fold and unfold your discarded foil wrappers as you contemplate over this revelation, sneaking glances at Jisung all the while. He looks… normal. Infuriatingly so. Same carefree smile, same arguments with Hyunjin, same lackadaisical chair leaning even though he fell backwards that one time. How is one supposed to tell if someone actually likes you when said someone is the same all the time?

Jisung promises to bring something for the next study session to make up for not sharing his cake and continues on with the review game like nothing has happened. However, those thoughts are still in the back of your mind when the session ends. You have gained five more pieces of chocolate and no further information as to whether Jisung is actually into you or not. As per usual, you and he head to the bus stop together. It’s more crowded than last week since it’s only eight.

“Did you have a pheasant time today?” he asks, pausing next to a hedge.

You keep your eyes on the asphalt instead of looking at him. It’s much easier to pretend you’re calm when you don’t have vision of his face. “I see you discovered pheasants recently. And yes, it was fun. Thanks for making it.”

“You don’t want to crow about winning the game?” When you grimace — you did kind of want to point out how amazing your score was but now you don’t — he quickly adds, “Okay, okay. But you’re going to ace that quiz tomorrow.”

And you simply say, “I know,” because you are and because you have nothing else prepared to say.

It goes quiet, and with only the sounds of cars racing by, Jisung abruptly says, “This is a little awkward now. Or should I say… hawk-ward?”

You groan and break your staring contest with the road to give him an exasperated look. A mistake because he’s smiling so wide, squirrels would be jealous of his cheeks. He has no right to be so cute after those jokes. “Why do I feel like you searched up ‘bird puns’ online and are trying to insert them in every possible scenario?”

“Because I did and because I am.” He sighs in contentment. “Those were the best texts I’ve ever received. I’m never letting you forget it.”

You were right about that, and now you have verbal confirmation from the man himself. Another mediocre consolation prize you will gladly accept. But for now, you say, “Well, toucan play at that game, plague doctor Han Jisung.” The only perk of hearing all these wretched jokes is that you are now rather knowledgeable about them. Thank you, Seungmin, for making that one a few days ago.

“They looked just like finches!” he protests, but he’s laughing along, head tilted back. He sighs again. When he turns to face you again, his eyes are soft. “That was a pretty good one.”

“Seungmin came up with it.” There’s a warm feeling spreading across your chest, constricting your air flow and making all your blood rush to your cheeks. It was one compliment; why are you like this? What are you going to do if he keeps looking at you like that? You swiftly go back to the road, counting the number of cars that pass by. One, two, three, four…

And a gray bus pulling up to the curb.

“Bus is here,” you uselessly announce. Jisung follows you into the growing crowd surrounding the entrance. He hovers behind you as the two of you wait for the people in front to board, and his presence is more palpable than usual. “There’s a lot of people today,” you remark in a vain attempt to distract yourself.

“Yeah, everyone’s heading home for the day.” He pauses dramatically before adding, “The birds are all going back to their nest.”

The joke successfully snaps you out of your haze. “That’s not a real saying.”

“I think it should be. It makes perfect sense!”

“You’re—” As the line shuffles forward, you try to think of something bird related, but he beats to the punch.

“Cuckoo?”

It’s almost impressive how much time he has invested in annoying you. Does it make you fall for him more? No, not really, or so you try to convince yourself. It’s strangely endearing, just like everything about him. You merely answer, “Yes.”

He chuckles and nudges you forward up the steps of the bus.

Even though there’s a little bit of daylight left, Jisung walks you back to your apartment building. You’re not upset by this, but where was this chivalry two weeks ago after the first study session? You teasingly ask him about it, and he turns bashful. How unlike him.

“I thought you lived in my complex, for some reason. You were always at the bus stop before me, so I assumed you lived nearby. I didn’t know until I overheard you and Yeji talking about it,” he says, hiding himself with his collar.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” you say, stopping in front of the walkway to your building, “see you tomorrow then. Thanks for walking me back. Good night.”

The Jisung you’re used to seeing, is back with a mischievous smile and yet another joke. “Good night-ingale.”

You bite the inside of your cheek and try not to seem too amused by it. He’s not charming, not even a little bit. “That was awful.” It’s the smile, you tell yourself. No one should have one like that. It has too much power.

“Yet I can see you smiling at it.”

Remain calm. You can do that. You’ve faked this before, so why is your head not cooperating right now? Jisung really needs to stop looking at you with anything more than a neutral face. It’s bad for you, like really, really bad. No witty remarks at the ready is typical, but you can’t even think of anything to say.

After an excruciating five seconds, you manage to stammer out, “Good night.” Cheeks aflame and your heart threatening to pop out of you like a cuckoo clock, you roughly yank open the door and bolt up the stairs. You have too much adrenaline in you right now. Waiting for the elevator knowing that he could be observing your twitchy movements, would be too nerve wracking.

Ryujin asks if you’re alright when she sees you hunched against the kitchen counter, out of breath and muttering to yourself.

“I decided to take the stairs,” you say, which only partially explains your dishevelled state. “I’ll be alright. I think.”

“I’ll get you some water. You look like you're about to collapse.”

Then your phone chimes with a new message, and you decidedly won’t be alright.

8:22 PM [Jisung Bio]: Did my nightingale pun quack you up that badly? 8:22 PM [Jisung Bio]: Was it that ducking good? 8:22 PM [Jisung Bio]: :D

8:23 PM [Jisung Bio]: Anyway, good luck tomorrow. Sleep well and sweet dreams, morning lark

There is no food in the fridge. Well, no proper food. A bag of spinach that expired three days ago but still seems okay, does not count. The same goes for the half empty jar of peanut butter, but Ryujin would likely disagree with that. There’s a reason why the jar is half empty. However, if you actually want to eat something for dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow, you need to go shopping.

For some strange reason, it does not occur to you that you can run into Jisung at the grocery store. Jisung belongs in four locations: the bus stop, the lecture hall, the library, and the pizza place you saw him at last week. Not the dairy aisle on a Wednesday night.

“Hey.” You stop in front of him, basket at your feet and hands folded in front of you like the world’s worst defense. Heart, stop beating so fast.

Jisung looks up from his phone to search for the owner of the voice and brightens when he sees that it’s you. “Hey, morning lark.” He has taken to calling you that ever since he sent that particular message. You wish it produced another reaction from you besides pure bliss, but that is the price you pay for pretending to be still annoyed by his jokes. That’s how bad your crush on him now is; you are increasingly beguiled by the puns. “Oh, did you need milk?”

“Yeah.” You grab a blue carton with a picture of a smiling cow from the shelf and place it in your basket. In the meantime, you can’t help but peer into Jisung’s. There is a bag of chocolate chips and a packet of gelatin. “Is this stuff for tomorrow’s study session?”

He nods and grabs the same brand of milk as you did. You get a rush of excitement, much to your chagrin. It’s just milk, and this is the most popular brand too. “Yeah. Felix is trying a new recipe, so you guys get to have some of the failed ones too.”

“What is it? Cheesecake?”

“You’ll see,” he mysteriously says. Then he adds, “You’re gonna love it,” which immediately gives away the theme.

“It’s something to do with birds, isn’t it?”

“You’ll see.”

And when you do see, you’re wrong. Library food rules ignored, at each seat, Jisung has set a slice of layer cake topped with chocolate ganache, no bird motifs of any sort. You take your usual spot at the end of the table and find that yours is slightly larger than the others. Well, except for maybe Lia’s. He has to placate her sweet tooth and her disappointment of not being able to have hummingbird cake.

“Did I not get a message or something?” Hyunjin asks when he takes in the over-the-top display. “Is this a dinner party?”

“Isn’t this against the library’s rules?” Yeji asks as she surreptitiously looks around for any librarians. The surrounding tables of fellow students won’t care.

Jisung elects to not answer Yeji’s concerns. “This is tonight’s snack,” he proudly replies. “Also, Felix wants feedback on it.”

You cut a section off with the plastic fork and marvel at the airiness of the cake. It’s unlike anything you have ever had. The frosting in between the sponge layers is so light, and the ganache is so dark and rich. “This is really amazing. It’s so fluffy. Wow. Tell Felix that he really needs to consider culinary school.”

“Wanna guess what it’s called?”

“Isn’t this just an extra fancy vanilla cake?” you ask. You take another bite, but other than the chocolate ganache on top, you can only taste vanilla. “I don’t know. The… vanilla fluff cake?”

“Nope.” He leans forward, face inches away from yours, lips curled into a smirk, and slowly says, “Bird’s milk cake.”

This can’t be real. Birds don’t even produce milk. “No way. You’re lying.” Even as you say the words, they sound false to your ears. Jisung has made it his mission to find anything and everything bird-related for you, so you doubt he’s lying.

“It’s called this” — he holds up his phone screen — “in Russian. It translates to ‘bird’s milk.’”

Ptichye moloko.

“You convinced Felix to make this, didn’t you?” you say. What are the chances that Felix conveniently wanted to make bird’s milk cake without any nudging from Jisung? Absolutely none. You have never even heard of this dessert before, let alone by it’s Russian name, and you’re willing to bet that Jisung searched up ‘bird cake’ or something of that nature just for this. Maybe that’s how he found out about hummingbird cake too.

“It’s all for you, morning lark,” he cheerfully replies, winking at you. He leans back in his chair again, precariously balancing on the two back legs. “I knew you’d like it.”

Jisung is really not making this easy for you. Forget subtleties, he’s just shamelessly flirting with you now. And in the sanctity of the library of all places! In a poor attempt to save yourself from this mess, you unconsciously begin to slide down the chair, trying to shield your hot face with your raised shoulders. Lia notices this — one of the perks having sat next to you for nearly four weeks during lectures — and grabs your forearm.

“No melting,” she reminds you, “or else you’re going to hit your head on the seat again.”

“I wasn’t melting,” you protest as you wriggle back up. Slowly dying might have been a better descriptor. That wink shot arrows into your already fragile heart. “We’re gonna get in trouble if one of the librarians sees this.”

“Guess we should get started then,” Hyunjin says. Yeji, the only responsible one in the group, begins pulling out the textbook, and everyone laughs at her eagerness. “Not what I meant, but that too.”

After you’re done with the cake and while the others are preoccupied about the timeline of human evolution, Jisung whispers across the table, “Did you still like it?”

“Yeah. No hard feelings about the name because it was good,” you whisper back.

“I thought it would turn out like this, morning lark. I know you love free food too much to be mad.”

The nickname again. You rest your cheek against your palm in a vain attempt to tamp down the growing heat. “Can I get a different name, plague doctor?”

He’s not at all phased by his own nickname, which doesn’t bode well for any future snarky remarks from you. “What, you don’t like birds or something?” He blinks so innocently back at you that you have to stifle a giggle.

“Yeah, well, that’s the—”

“Hey, lovebirds,” Hyunjin interrupts, making you profusely blush and Yeji lightly laugh at the expression, “we’re gonna move on to the next section now. Is that okay?”

“It’s okay,” you reply even though you are most definitely not okay. Jisung, who you notice is uncharacteristically sheepish, echoes your sentiment.

It’s difficult not to stare at Jisung during the remainder of the study session. It seems to be true the other way around as well.

You’re sober when you read the messages, but you don’t think Jisung was when he sent them. Oh, how the tables have turned.

3:02 AM [Jisung Bio]: Good morning morning lark!! 3:02 AM [Jisung Bio]: Winner winner chicken dinner remember? So yes or no?

3:03 AM [Jisung Bio]: Or maybe yes or yes? 3:03 AM [Jisung Bio]: I really want to go on a date with you 3:03 AM [Jisung Bio]: Not lying I swear

3:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re always on my mind and every time I see a bird, I think about you 3:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: I bought grey goose because of you 3:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: [jisung’s_hand_holding_grey_goose_vodka.jpg] 3:04 AM [Jisung Bio]: I don’t even like it that much

3:05 AM [Jisung Bio]: You make me dizzy sometimes and I don’t know what to do 3:05 AM [Jisung Bio]: You’re probably sleeping so good night larky 3:05 AM [Jisung Bio]: Or morning

3:06 AM [Jisung Bio]: Fly high in your dreams!!!

He must have been wasted and under no responsible supervision because this is what you would have done if you were in his place. Does he not have a Seungmin in his life? Or a Ryujin? There’s a Felix, so where was he when all of this happened?

But forget about Jisung’s own problems.

He wants to go on a date with you. A real date, not a study date with three other people and fake quiz questions. If his words are to be taken literally, then one involving a chicken dinner. Possibly a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store, but a chicken dinner nonetheless.

He can’t stop thinking about you. All those bird jokes had you charmed, and all those cakes were baked with you in mind. They weren’t just for show. They were all about you.

You make him dizzy, which is hilarious because he does the same to you. He smiles at you so brightly, laughs so easily, and flirts so shamelessly that you never realized that you could ever make him feel that way.

And “fly high in your dreams?” You’re practically soaring in real life. Han Jisung, cute bio boy, plague doctor, pun enthusiast, surprisingly decent baker, wants to go on a date with you.

You, you, you!

While you alternate between hyperventilating and forgetting how to breathe as you process all this, three gray dots appear at the bottom of the chat. You clutch your phone as you wait. Apparently, your body is on the ‘forgetting how to breathe’ cycle.

11:14 AM [Jisung Bio]: I am so sorry about that. I was very drunk when I sent that

11:15 AM [Jisung Bio]: You can just ignore them or delete them 11:15 AM [Jisung Bio]: Highly recommend deleting 11:15 AM [Jisung Bio]: Also sorry if I woke you up

Your fingers hover over the keyboard. Should you answer him over text, call, or in-person? Is in-person too dramatic though? You feel like something like this is supposed to be done face-to-face, but he’s probably hungover beyond belief.

11:16 AM [Me]: It’s okay. A morning lark is always up early anyway :) 11:16 AM [Me]: Were you serious though?

11:17 AM [Jisung Bio]: Can we meet up in an hour? At the bus stop? I want to talk to you 11:17 AM [Me]: Yeah. Me too

The bus stop is neutral territory or maybe just the closest meeting spot you and Jisung have. If it’s supposed to be neutral territory, it most definitely is not since his apartment complex is right behind it. Despite his close proximity to the spot, you arrive first, so you make yourself as comfortable as possible underneath the sign, standing in its shadow. It’s silly when you think about it, but you wish you dressed in something nicer than a hoodie. In your rush to leave the apartment, you threw on whatever, but maybe you should have worn something prettier for this confrontation. Make Jisung go dizzy and gain a little bit of power from that.

This is even worse than when you had to face him after you sent your drunk texts. At least then it was just a middling attraction and not a full-on crush.

“Hey, morning lark. You’re early. As expected.”

“Hey. You’re… alive.”

Jisung is strangely fresh-faced, not a hint of hungover clouding around him. Why can’t you look like him after a night of seemingly heavy drinking? Where are the pinched eyebrows from the blinding lights? The ghostly gray face? The haunted eyes as one remembers all the incredibly stupid things they did the night before? Unfair. Completely unfair.

“Yeah.” He’s wearing his usual sweatshirt, but his hands are stuffed into its pockets instead of being out and about. He rocks back and forth on his heels. “Well, uh, I meant everything I sent. And I’m serious about taking you to dinner, so do you want to go on a date with me?”

You anticipated this. Why does it feel like you have just finished running a marathon? “Yeah, I do. I really want to.”

He smiles so brightly, the sun would be jealous. Correction, should be jealous. You don’t think you’ve seen a prettier sight than this since he sat down next to you on the first day of class and asked if you wanted to start a study group. He pumps his fist in the air like he’s a movie character, and you hide your laugh behind your hoodie sleeve. You’ve never seen him so happy before.

“How are you not hungover?” you ask as he raises his face to the sky, taking in the afternoon light, basking in the moment. He’s really living his movie character dreams. “You said you were really drunk.”

“I kind of lied?” he says, sounding more wistful than you would expect. When he looks back at you, you finally see dark circles underneath his eyes, but he is still as jubilant as before. “I was more tipsy than drunk. So, when do you wanna get that chicken dinner, winner, winner?”

It’s amazing how shy, excited Jisung disappears and how the usual casual, teasing Jisung reappears. That’s his Jekyll and Hyde moment, you suppose. And the switch is all activated by his one-track mind of bird jokes. How wonderful.

“Next week, after midterms? I’ve got two this week to study for. I should be free on Friday night.”

He enthusiastically nods. “Sounds good to me.”

2:57 PM [Me]: I’m done with all my midterms! Are you free tonight?

2:59 PM [Jisung Bio]: Free as a bird :D 2:59 PM [Jisung Bio]: Also congrats on being done 2:59 PM [Me]: I hate you

3:00 PM [Jisung Bio]: So chicken dinner? The restaurant next to the pizza place just opened 3:00 PM [Jisung Bio]: I heard it’s really clucking good 3:00 PM [Jisung Bio]: A hen out of hen

3:01 PM [Me]: I might actually kill you during our date

3:02 PM [Jisung Bio]: Don’t you mean 3:02 PM [Jisung Bio]: [flock_of_crows.jpg] 3:02 PM [Jisung Bio]: Murder :D

3:05 PM [Jisung Bio]: I’ll see you at 6? 3:05 PM [Me]: See you then

You do not end up murdering Jisung on your date, though you do come pretty close after you audibly ask the ground to swallow you up when he compliments your egg-cellent outfit.

“Swallow?” he slyly says. “Like the bird?”

Instead of committing a crime, you kiss him on the cheek, effectively silencing him. You’ve been waiting to do both those things for some time now, and look at you now, killing two birds with one stone.

Jisung turns a delightful shade of pink and mutters something about needing to get to the restaurant before it gets too crowded. All of his bluster from just five seconds ago is gone. You merrily follow him down the pavement, feeling a little bit like the cat who swallowed the canary.

Yes, you did search up bird expressions beforehand. Jisung will be Jisung, and like you told him before, toucan play at this game. You will not spend your first date with him being humiliated by his large repertoire of puns. Besides, if he retaliates like you expect him to, you will have the perfect excuse to kiss him again.

See? No fowl play at all.

Then he takes your hand into his, his warmth enveloping yours, and everything suddenly isn’t fair again.

And based on his all-too-pleased grin, Jisung knows this as well.

~ ad.gray