#AND LIFE GOES ON
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And Life Goes On, Abbas Kiarostami, 1992
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I put all my angry posts in drafts and leave them there for a month, go back, look them over, and delete. This is how I’ve survived so long online.
#I fr get mad at things that don’t matter so I allow myself to simmer down and look again#‘ok I guess making a post about dog owners wouldn’t really benefit anyone’#and life goes on#but who knows! I always have time to grow more hate filled <3
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And Life Goes On, Abbas Kiarostami
#and life goes on#life and nothing more#زندگی و دیگر هیچ#abbas kiarostami#1992#1990s#90s#iran#iranian#persian#farsi#movie#film#cinema#cinematography#screencaps#stills
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#can someone help me feel something?#its just so hard to fucking keep going you know?#i have 0 purpose exept to be second place and watch other people succeed#no one seems to care anymore that i'm still here#and i basically not even part of my friend group anymore (i never was in the first place they just tolerated me)#like whats the fucking point?#i don't win anything- i'm not good at anything#just middling and mediocre at EVERYTHING!#and i just ant someone to want me#like theres nothing keeping me on this planet#so why stay#i try to feel something- i rly do#but i can't#the knot in my stomach keeps getting tighter and tighter until i eventually push everyone away and break and the cycle repeats#sry to be this depressing on valentines day#but idk anymore... livings hard#and i'd rather not#getting out of bed is so hard knowing no one wants to see you or here you or know you#but i have to#and life goes on#and i'm just swept with the current#because thats all i'll ever amount to <3#i sound so ungrateful and stupid#but idk somethings obviously wrong with me and i don't know how to stop it#vick's venting again
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feeling SO LONELY AND BORED!!!!
#my best friend is studying abroad#my other close friend is studying abroad#my party friends that i don’t always like are studying abroad#my close friend here doesn’t respond to texts + has a lot on her plate#i have been sick for so much of college and low energy and i feel like I’ve missed out on dating!!!#i was so good at dating freshman year#and now my dating confidence has plummeted#i cant wait to live in the city#im lonely!!!!!!!!#want a boyfriend!!!!#want my friends to be here!!!!!!!!!#It’s also interim semester so#It’s almost over#and life goes on#but i am so bored and aloooone#mine
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I have had the privilege of the last few weeks off, which has neatly coincided with my mom coming home from a really scary set of hospital experiences and also the holidays.
I'm grateful that I've had the time to spend with her and with my dad, and the time also to recover and rest so I can continue to help.
there have been years that I couldn't deal with them even for the given amount of holiday -- too drained by everything else to handle them and my reaction to them and the history we have.
I had initially (excitedly) planned to spend my break working on sewing projects. I've done... zero of that. I don't regret it -- those can wait, and I'm glad I've done what I did.
I am constantly thinking of how people say I'd run out of things to do with myself without a job. there's so much out there to do.
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Please note if you know of a really cool thing you did or someone else did and you're surprised I haven't liked and reblogged yet, it's probably just.,...
I haven't scrolled through my dashboard yet, and idk when I'll have time to or remember to do so 🤷
#the curse of no ability to focus on going through dash#and dash keeps updating#and life goes on#and I never see that Really Good Post#haha
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I've talked extensively about the wonders of feeling empathy for the fucked up character but occasionally a character behaves annoyingly for trauma related reasons and I can clearly see the pathway between the horror and the behavior... and still I think he's pathetic and want him to suffer when he disgusts me <3
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//…… lmao
I’m reviewing Phoebus/The Cruel Choice as I return to the hotel-
Pandora decides to play “Untitled” by Simple Plan.
#HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME#I MADE MY MISTAKES#GOT NOWHERE TO RUN#AND LIFE GOES ON#AS IM FADING AWAY#[Dumb]#[OOC]#I embrace being an old hag on the internet now#just need the super long nose and cane
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you know, thanks to ✨traumatic life experiences✨ during lockdown, i got used to the surreality of knowing someone you love is considerably unwell while not being able there to support them or even see them and i forgot how just achingly empty it makes you feel
#kai rambles#personal#delete later#i said id stay home to take care of our dog since im also having bad fatigue from like idk ME? fibro? both of them? neither idfk#but god i just#you feel useless and you feel bad for feeling anything but fear and worry but you cant even see whats happening#and life goes on#and goes on#i know this pain and monotony so well#and i hate that its easier than the first time#but i think id go insane if it was as difficult as it was the first time
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@starscrxssed
"... I didn't know she was one of his test subjects too."
Wrenn had been staying with Tighnari in Gandharva Ville for some time now. He had gotten to know Collei a fair bit, and while his time there was meant to be 'punishment' for the injury he inflicted upon Tighnari, he knew he wasn't in bad company. In fact, he secretly enjoyed his stay there, much to his own dismay.
At least, until something happened--something he didn't expect.
Wrenn hadn't meant to startle her so badly, when he went to grab her. He hadn't meant anything by it--she had just been turning away from him and he wanted to stop her from leaving, to tell her something he felt was important. But she violently pulled her wrist away and screamed, cowering away from him before running off. Such a reaction to being touched by him startled him, and his own self hatred had started to bubble over--was he so repulsive or other to them that his touch was so offensive?
So he had been in a foul mood all day, avoiding everyone--until Tighnari had found him, and revealed the truth of the matter. That Collei had been one of Dottore's prior experiments.
A segment of his, probably--but still, nevertheless, a victim.
"That explains why she freaked out so much," Wrenn huffed. Though a part of him felt guilty for how quickly he jumped to the conclusion that it was a problem with him specifically, and not something outside of himself. "I'm... surprised she survived through it. Humans are far more fragile than I am. Normally, they die after one experiment... guess he wanted to keep her alive for some reason. That's the only reason she's alive. He doesn't care if his test subjects live or die unless he has something to gain from you being alive. If he's interested enough, then you're not allowed to die. Not on his watch."
Wrenn's words were harsher than he meant, but they were a matter of fact--as his own chest tightened at the thought, he knew better than anyone that if Dottore was interested in you, it was the only thing that saved you from death.
If one could call it saving.
"I'll take care not to suddenly grab or touch her from now on," he promised with a nod. "The last thing I want is to put myself in more debt to you. I'll take on some of her work to make up for it... and, feel free to tell her that I meant no harm by it."
#v; is the song enough to revive the light in his eyes?#rp#starscrxssed#muse: wrenn#And Life Goes On#I was thinking of what experiment Wrenn would tell Nari about#and while it's not necessarily an ''experiment''#I thought it might be extremely bitter sweet if Nari learned about the events of the thread I have with L called ''Let Death Do Us Part''#Incoming summary for that thread and#tw for suicide attempts mentioned#The summary of the thread was: As Scara; Wrenn tried to damage his body beyond repair by throwing himself off of a cliff#To which Dottore repaired the damage#But in an attempt to scare Wrenn into not doing that again#He threatened to convince Pierro and the Tsarista to let him cooped Wrenn up in his lab all day#the subtle threat being a promise of more and more experiments and worse ones#Wrenn took that threat very badly and tried to short circuit his own mind mechanism with his newish electro powers#Dottore fixed him again#Wrenn woke up and had a really bad panic attack that ended up having him stab Dottore in the side and getting himself restrained#And Dottore leaves him there until Wrenn convinces himself that his reaction was due to a malfunction caused by him jumping off the cliff#It's not the worst ''experiment'' Dottore ever put Wrenn through by a long shot#But it IS the event that just#completely fucked Wrenn up really badly#When it was shoved into his head (unintentionally but still) that being a perfect lab rat was his life now#That his life was going to be full of experiments and he couldn't stop it#AKA it was probably the lowest point in his life#Ala why I thought it would be a bittersweet idea for him to talk about it with Nari ;o;#BUT IF THIS DOESN'T WORK FOR YOU I CAN PICK A DIFFERENT ONE OFC#but yeah anyway#This thread might end up with Wrenn crying if all goes well (or not so well LMAO)#OH ALSO TO CLARIFY I DO NOT HAVE ANY SPECIFIC COLLEI MUSE IN MIND
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" just because your parents didnt break all the generational traumas, DOESNT MEAN THEY BROKE NONE!"
#I read this somewhere today#And it stuck to my brain#I needed to know this and i need people to know it as well#Dont keep blaming your parents#They really might have broke heavy traumas that we thankfully didnt have to go through thanks to them#I believe each generation has her caracterized traumas.. And traumas definitely go by degrees#They did their best 🙌🤍#For many of us our moms made sure we get an education and be financially independent while they didnt have this opportunity#For many of us our dads made sure to provide us with all we need until we can provide for ourselves#While they were forced to work so young#Those were the main traumas they broke for us#To now grow and have a bigger view of life#To have a better chance at life then they had#To give a better chance in life for our kids then we had#And life goes on
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"you're the writer, you control how the story goes" no not really. i wrote the first sentence and then my characters said "WE WILL TAKE IT FROM HERE" and promptly swerved into an electrical fence.
#now im watching their whole lives fall apart on google docs#i dont know whats happening but by god im excited to see where it goes next#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#writeblr#writing#bookblr#creative writing#writing life#writers and poets#novel writing#my characters#original characters#writing stuff#fanfiction#darkacademia
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Is life really bad or am I just having a hard time right now?
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gem dying badly in a glue trap
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Gregory and Glamrock Freddy’s dynamic in FNAF
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf gregory#glamrock freddy#security breach#listen you knew I’d have to draw this joke out myself#it was bound to happen#but this is literally how Gregory and Glamrock Freddy are like#Freddy goes through like 5 life changing moments throughout the game#and Gregory is like genuinely being a menace the whole time#he’s just a lil guy so he can’t help it#but it’s such a funny contrast
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