#AND IN MY LAST WEEK OF MY TWENTIES
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#I have no idea how to handle this diagnosis#because I have no idea how long I’ve had herpes 2? and I know a LOT of people have it?#and I have literally never had an outbreak#and there’s so much stuff to navigate#and I know I legit can’t spread it without an outbreak#and i know I’m not dirty but I feel so weird#and damaged even though I know I’m not? like I know I’m not we say that all the time#but I feel so bad about it I’m really fucked up about it?#and I’m oversharing but I need to share it makes me feel better#AND IN MY LAST WEEK OF MY TWENTIES
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girls be like of course i'm mentally stable and their most listened to song in the last 6 months on spotify is vignette by twenty one pilots
#tøp#clancy#twenty one pilots#im girls if you havent guessed it#its only been a week and yet#its slowly climbing its way in my top songs in the last year lmao#vignette
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#death note#l lawliet#misa amane#light yagami#lawlightmane#I just finished watching dn last week & it was an Experience#idk why it took me this long to watch this#it could've been one of my childhood anime but no I had to watch it in my late twenties#anyways. got obsessed w/ this trio's dynamic#was expecting to see enough content of them considering this is a popular series that existed for more than a decade but no#now I feel foolish for thinking that#or maybe I just don't know where to look#if anyone could point me in the right direction it will be very much appreciated. please & thank you 🥺
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#over the last week the doodle i made like. five? years ago has been suddenly reblogged a bunch#lots of feelings about this and no words yet#so i thought i’d remake it in my current style#truce#twenty one pilots#tøp#tøp clique#tøp art#truce lyrics#tøp lyrics#twenty øne piløts#twenty one pilots art#vessel#tøp vessel#vessel lyrics#op#my art
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i am so obsessed with how like. taken as read the ot3 are at this point. like on the one hand it feels like they've been building up to this for ages but on the other hand it kind of feels like i blinked and we skipped right past some Major Turning Point where everything got spelled out and we're just already in firmly Established Relationship-land. obviously tarvek is too well-protected for anyone to assassinate openly, look how angry his boyfriend and girlfriend are at the idea of anyone threatening him. at this point i'm half-convinced agatha's just going to refer to her boyfriends in passing to someone else and no one's even going to comment on it until van finds out twenty pages later and immediately starts making everyone pay up
#girl genius#i just. the matching frowns. tarvek's deliberately-foppish not-quite-innocent shit-eating grin and folded hands#i'm obsessed with this panel i'm obsessed with this page i'm obsessed with this entire week's comics#and everything that everyone has chosen to say about these three since. man i don't even remember. october?#when was the comment about albia worrying colette will join the polycule i forget#i mean and also everyone has said about these three ever. violetta telling gilvek to stop flirting lives in my head rent free#but the entire last month has just been. i am Reeling what has HAPPENED#i was ready to live off the group hug for the next YEAR and every comic then has felt like a brand new brick????#except for krosp and norville's grand adventure which. well that also felt like a set of bricks but very different ones#also i'm only half-convinced bc a) agatha *is* awfully good at big dramatic speeches#and it's still hard to imagine the Big Relationship(s) Upgrade(s) happening without one#b) it also feels extremely plausible that instead of agatha talking about her boyfriends to a third party#gil or tarvek will refer to *their* boyfriend to agatha (who will not comment on that until van finds out twenty pages later etc)#anthyding can hadplen etc and it feels so much like suddenly it already has. what timeline are we IN#sarah don't look#nyquil don't look
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Protector, savior, guardian, homesick teenager.
Happy birthday Lance McClain.
#he’s usually so hard for me to draw but I pumped this out in TWO HOURS & TWENTY MINUTES!!!!#I spent an hour and a half on the SKETCH for Tim’s birthday last week 😭😭#my art#digital art#fan art#artists on tumblr#digital drawing#procreate#lance mcclain#voltron#voltron legendary defender#voltron legendary defenders#blue paladin#Netflix#VLD#vld lance#vld fanart#happy birthday#happy birthday Lance McClain#castle of lions
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the great thing about falling really deep into a new media niche is developing opinions on many new things. the terrible thing about falling really deep into a new media niche is developing opinions on many new things
#fjdkfdjkfd.#anyway. last week a trailer came out for something only called kidnap. which is hilarious because that's a blocked tumblr tag#it's a romance (with the kidnapper. who is secretly only doing it to pay a medical bill). i don't think it sounds or looks very good#& considering who is airing this and their history with Edgy Content the keyword here will probably be Bland. or maybe Toothless#but unfortunately...... tragically...... one of the leads is an actor i'll take in literally anything.#so i've spent my week periodically being attacked by this insignificant bit of knowledge and experiencing shrimp emotions#literally just. going about my day. thinking 'kidnap'. going OOF. then remembering i'm in the middle of brushing my teeth#also. i found out the original writer of bad romance & together with me is ALSO the writer of not me. and it's things like this#that would take like. twenty layers of explanation of these properties in general and also my takes on them specifically#and how it contrasts or aligns with their general perception. to even come CLOSE to explaining the mental hit i took from that#i need a corkboard and some red thread. and then probably three more corkboards#for day 1 that is. i think i have a week's worth of loosely connected spontaneous deep dive video essays i could do off the top of my head#ah well. the curse of having interests#*
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@azurecitrus OKAY THIS MOVIE ABSOLUTELY BROKE MY HEART AND I GOT CARRIED AWAY THANK YOU FOR THE REC LMAOOO
reminded me of a dream i had once, about vash and wolfwood being schoolkids together and wolfwood scaring off all of vash's bullies,,
#trigun#trigun anime#trigun fanart#vash#vash the stampede#wolfwood#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#asks#azurecitrus#movie night with v#always a wild thing to have a movie that p much the whole time is like. oh okay very sad very uncomfortable.#and i'm failing to get much out of the experience. UNTIL!! the last twenty minutes or so#where the ending officially cements the story in my brain forever dfkjghdfk#goddddd the scene where he learns to hit back..... and that final triumphant ''HIS ARM IS MINT!! >:D''#I'M TEARING UP JUST THINKING ABOUT IT......... OUAGH....#EXTREMELY GOOD MOVIE IT HURT VERY BADLY LMAO#the black phone also gets extra points of favor with me for the scene the main character was watching my favorite william castle movie lol#alsooo week one in my first apartment babeyyyyyyyy i have not fucking slept at all dfkgjhdfjg
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quick and loose (24 hours and counting) thing i tried to finish before move-in i'm calling it here i was defeated 😔 let's see if i can finish it before classes actually start (no) featurnig partial view of my krita setup (default) god be with ye all i need to be doing last minute packing in five-odd hours and then i will not sleep for four entire months god be with y'all
#ian beale#mira ramachandran#wip#art wip#look guys if i finish this it'll usurp what i think is the what a creep animation as my longest finished ian project#if things go to plan my other project will dwarf this#has already dwarfed it at least threefold i think#my courseload last semester was so light that i had like twenty hours free each week to do rb art#and do other responsibilities and have a social life i think i only turned down social activities once for it#i'm expecting to get obliterated this semester though so if i don't finish this#and i don't want to flunk out and i'm not wrong#and if i actually have self control#like 50/50 may not have art for a while. but maybe not look guys i'm so good at not getting sleep#man idk how to write dialogue is been a hot minute#will i delete this wip later maybe idk i'm frazzled and tired i really shouldn't be on this rn#anyways it was a great summer with all of you!!!!#had a great time pushing myself creatively and artistically#very inspired#thank you all
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If I start listening to Addict With a Pen religiously again, to the point it become one of my top songs on my Spotify Wrapped, I need to be put down like a horse with a broken leg. Hit me with a car or something because I’m too far gone.
#/hj but also /srs#This joke isn’t as funny because I seriously almost threw myself into traffic on purpose last January#then Next Semester came out and I sobbed for a week straight.#we vibin now but we weren’t at the time#my birthday is next week!! turn 19!! >.<#twenty one pilots#twenty øne piløts#tøp#tøp clique#skeleton clique#addict with a pen
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pitched battle inside my brain between the part of me that's desperately shaking myself by the shoulders going "YOU HAVE GOT TO ACTUALLY LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE YOU IMAGINE INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND IMAGINING IT UNTIL YOU DIE!!" and the part of me that's clutching my face going "is this allowed? is this allowed?? is this allowed???"
#trying to plan a solo cicada pilgrimage and getting brainworms about it yeehaw#'making a lot of plans and never actually doing things in real life' has been a problem for literally as long as I can remember#but I also feel like I've developed a learned helplessness over the last several years that's gotten worse as I've gotten older??#me age twenty: I think I'm gonna take myself to chicago next week because I feel like going to the zoo#me age thirty: am I allowed to go camping alone. am I allowed to do a solo road trip. I need a grownup#to be extremely clear I am very much allowed and this is not justin's fault and I don't know where it comes from#like I'll run things by him lowkey seeking 'permission' that I don't even need and he'll be like 'yeah that sounds good to me'#and then I STILL won't do the thing because like. my brain keeps insisting there needs to be a grownup in charge?? HELLO I'M GROWNUP#anyway I'm doing cicada trip solo BECAUSE-- the drive is so long I want to do five days because two of them will just be driving#and he can't get that much time off work right now#AND because I literally only want to Be Camping and Looking At Bugs but he'd get bored of a week of that he likes Activities#me this morning getting insecure and weird: what are your thoughts... on cicada voyage....#him after at first not even understanding the question: I'm SO excited for you?? you deserve to get to go absolutely feral???#I do.... ;n; ���� why am I so scared to be a person.......#about me#cicada quest
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Ruby: I was born in 2004---
My 1995 ass:
#S T O P#millie gibson just turned 20 in the last week#and my brother is older by a few months than ncuti#doctor who#ruby sunday#new who#how the fuck am i 29 i still feel like a teenager#hearing people born after 2000 like YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BABY WHY ARE YOU IN YOUR TWENTIES
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Title: See You
Fandom: 내가 키운 S급들 - 근서 | S-Classes that I Raised - Geunseo
Relationship: Han Yoohyun & Han Yoojin
Summary:
An encounter with the filial duty addicts renders Han Yoohyun unable to see Han Yoojin, and Han Yoojin unable to see his brother, no matter how close they are, for an entire week.
Thank you so much for the hosts of this big bang for letting me participate! I can write this out a thousand times, and it'll never be enough, but thank you so so much to @sctir and @butterfirefly for making this piece possible. I wouldn't have made it here without you.
And of course, thank you to @buqbite for partnering up with me! I'm honoured and so grateful for the opportunity to have worked with you. Thank you so much for reaching out first, and I'm sorry if I ever stressed you out with how I work.
#the s-classes that i raised#the s classes that i raised#tsctir#sctir#my s-class hunters#han yoojin#han yoohyun#SClassBigBang2023#s class#it's so long since my last fic that i could not remember how to post on here or ao3. tumblr changed so much?? <- it has been over a year#i really really hope this fic is coherent because. why was it so long??#my writing#i just realized why this fic was so long#it's just uncharted territory for me#which makes sense why the entire process was just ?????????? all the way through#i know for a fact that even though i read this over a thousand times i'll find a mistake in it within the next twenty-four hours. L.#edit: decided to make this fic public! at least for a week or two#i'll think about if i want to lock it later but i just want everyone who wants to the read it to have the chance
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#i graduated w my masters in library science last week!#and its so awesome and im so happy and everything#but it just occurred to me the odds that i represent too#out of all my friends from freshman year im one of a handful that graduated undergrad#one of two that have actually started grad school#and the only one who stuck it through#i know some of my friends would like to go back to school some day and more power to them i hope they can and do!!#but woah im the First to have two degrees of my school peers#also makes me feel good because neither of my parents finished a graduate degree (tho they could have if theyd prioritized it)#idk its nice to feel like im actually the best or the first to hit the finish line#because ive never been the best or the top ever#just very very good. if that makes sense. forgettably good#idk its a bad mindset to be in i know but the self confidence boost of having Two Degrees At Twenty Five is amazing
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starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal
#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept#i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them#if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens#i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it#i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut#it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair#my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking#if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back#if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off#ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal#but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends#i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens#and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too#since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out#i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now#now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that#i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly.#if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill#in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it#my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes#sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know???#but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested#i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore#i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world
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Okay, who kickstarted the return of the Mareach baby fever? Because I logically shouldn’t post even more Expectant/Parent Mareach when I literally just posted one such fic two days ago but DAMMIT NOW I’M IN A MOOD.
…in my defense, for all the crap I’ve posted, I still haven’t given my fankid a name. 😅
#I mean. she HAS a name! but it sucks and it’s corny as hell and everyone else’s fit a lot better#have y’all seen some of my fic titles? titles and names are NOT my strong suit#when I was 12 I made a fankid for tobe and jing-jing from pucca and I fucking named her DEBORAH#(all my love to the deborahs out there! it’s just… not a good name for the fankid of two korean-chinese characters. y’know)#I have only marginally improved in the fifteen years since then#also! remember that wip I posted last week that repeats the word ‘door’ like twenty-seven times in three paragraphs?#you guessed it! also an expectant mareach piece#then one about mario just tiredly babbling to his little girl to keep himself awake and peach eavesdropping because it’s the cutest thing#and then one where they debate whether firebrand will be passed onto their kids since it was a power gifted explicitly to mario#rather than innate magic passed through generations by birth like peach’s powers#and these are just the ones that I’ve got at least partially written. there’s so many more I keep coming up with and they all SUCK#heeeeeellllllppppp#peaches screams into the void
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