#and its so awesome and im so happy and everything
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Meri Clefmas and Happy Holidays <3
Bit of a ramble below
Well it certainly has been a year, huh? Never in my wildest fuckin dreams would I have imagined I get here. But a little over a year of drawing whatever the hell I want, joining wayy too many scp discord servers, and surviving through several fandom dramas later, here I am
There were several points in the year where we broke down and thought we wouldn't still be here, but the comnections and friends Ive made here and quite literally been the thing keeping us going. We've found 2 wonderful qpps, and have survived our hellish ex with our partner, and without them honestly I dunno where'd Id be today. They keep me grounded emotionally, while creatively my heads in the sky. Hugging all three of you tight and sobbing
And as for the rest of yall, my friends, my mutuals, my oomfies, the people I occasionally see in my notes- just know everytime I talk to you, or recognize a name on my dash or in the tags, or see yalls art, it makes me incredibly happy. I know this fandom can be weird or toxic or ridden through with drama, but honestly this little corner I managed to carve out for myself is pretty nice. Its peaceful. If theres anymore big names that take a downfall then those that found refuge in their art and are frazzled are more than welcome here. Come, sit down on a pillow, we have hot cocoa and tea
And while I do plan on branching out more and posting for other fandoms, like TMA, just know Im not leaving this one anytime soon. It has quite literally changed my brain chemistry and we haven't been in a community quite like this one before, where the lines between author and fan blur pretty heavily. Its by the fans for the fans, and I think that's awesome. Im somehow friends with several big names in the community, and while I dont really consider myself one (at least yet), I hope that I can bring as much joy to as much people as they have been in the upcoming time Ill be here
So yeah, thank yall for everything and all the support and just finding joy in the things I do, it makes me estactic to know that just popping up on someones dash or drawing another persons oc or designs can make their day
Heres to a happy new year, one thats hopefully better than the last. Wishing yall a very good rest of the year, however you may be spending it
#Banesberry art#altoclef.exe#Ough owie ouchie my heart guys#Meri Clefmas guys#dr clef#dr alto clef#alto clef#scp fictive#alto clef fictive#scp#scp fandom#scp foundation#scp art#scp fanart#merry christmas#merry xmas#Meri Clefmas#gremlin ramblings
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#i graduated w my masters in library science last week!#and its so awesome and im so happy and everything#but it just occurred to me the odds that i represent too#out of all my friends from freshman year im one of a handful that graduated undergrad#one of two that have actually started grad school#and the only one who stuck it through#i know some of my friends would like to go back to school some day and more power to them i hope they can and do!!#but woah im the First to have two degrees of my school peers#also makes me feel good because neither of my parents finished a graduate degree (tho they could have if theyd prioritized it)#idk its nice to feel like im actually the best or the first to hit the finish line#because ive never been the best or the top ever#just very very good. if that makes sense. forgettably good#idk its a bad mindset to be in i know but the self confidence boost of having Two Degrees At Twenty Five is amazing
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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im going to be so annoying all week
#agghagahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HYYESAAHHHH#★ arin rambles#BRO BRO PLEASLE#PELASE#my apology for everyone. I have to make it now . Sorry. If youre following me destroy that notif button you dont wanna hear how worse i will#get#actually no just Unfollow entirely#ITS THE ADHD#PLEASE. HE IS SO . COOL. his trailer is so awesome IVE REWATECHED IT 3 TIME SNOW.#I LOVE HIMMMMMMM SO MUCHHHHH#I LOVE HIM SO BAD I JUST ADORE HIM PLEASE#HES SO PRETTY. JAW DROPPING. ICONIC. LIFE CHANGING. THE TEARS IN MY EYES. GENUINELY SOBBING RITHT NOW IT S SO OVER#aventurine likers hold me. Nobody understands. Everyone is scared of me im too crazy#actually its everything wrong with me . Hes ruining my life#i dont struggle as an aventurine liker i actually excel at this its my full rime job now#‘9 to 5’ no i work 9 to 9. Every hour is dedicated to him#im glad uguys agree with me thannk uou i was starting to think i was a freak#Well i am but im glad someone else agrees hes cool#Hes so pretty im so happy#I CAMT WAIT RILL WENDENSDAY PLEASE IM GONNA FREAKIFN BLOW UP#I LOVE AVENTURINE. I LOVE AVETURINE.#i get so happy when i see him i get a little violent its unsettling .#like im like shaking my hands and jumping around my room and then u blink and im bashing my head against the floor#its carpet. Im ok. But like not but i am#DUDE. I LOVE. THIS GUY. EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM#i needto. Just. Okay brb gonna watch ir like 20 more times ill see u guys next year im going into a Aventurine induced coma#this makes me realize people read my tags. Oh dear. Sorry everypony#i apologize for my behavior. I will get so much scarier.#HES SO COOL. HES ACTYALLU SO COOL. LIKE HOW CAN SOMEBODY BE SO COOL.#oh god OH LORERDRDRDDDDDDD WHEN I GET YOU BOY WHEN I FIND YOU. WATCH OUT. WATCH OUT I WILL GET YOU.
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reminder.
#hi i couldnt think of an awesome caption for all of this so um ill talk in the tags about my thought process#silhouette is forgetting herself. and she knows this. they reflect on this often. this time literally in a mirror. and their face...#its blurry. its obscured. they can see their own tired expression... but can they really see their face?#and the flames. once again burning away at their memories. sil can watch herself forget in real time if she wanted. she's so tired.#she could burn away everything if she wanted. they could keep burning until there's nothing left at all. and that self destructive tendency#is tempting. god it is so tempting to say fuck it and give up. but no they cant. they have a job to do. they usually remind themself to kee#going in the mirror. even when the reflection doesnt always look familiar. but now theres also something else. a new glimmer of hope in#silhouette's otherwise bleak life. a girl. she doesnt know if they can have that happy ending. but she will do anything to keep her safe.#and for now that is enough. sil doesnt know if she will remember her own face or her own name but my fucking god she will not forget lucy's#anyway hi im normal about my ocs 😁 teehee#my art#doodle#digital art#colored sketch#oc tag#silhouette#lucille
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so uhh i DID start writing again but this time its w my Riptide Cowboy Au Thats Also Just An Animorphs Au. here check out this very small bit of it. (under the cut is an OLD doodle page that i made based around this idea)
#ITS AN ANIMORPHS AU BABY AND THAT MEANS THAT THERES YEERKS BABY OOH YEAH#I LOVE YEERKS THEYRE JUST LITTLE SLUGS THAT CRAWL INTO YOUR BRAIN#im very happy w my descriptions in this lil snippet. i hope it comes across as scary as i wish it to be#im also still very happy w this doodle page. check out chip he has a pickaxe earring now#jay also comes from an airforce family. instead of RAFT its called CRAFT#yknow like air craft. teehee. also instead of the planet o MANA im thinkin o calling it either LIFE or STAMINA#yknow like how ina game u have ur health bar n mana bar n you get what i fuckin mean#OKAY AND ILL ALSO MAKE A CONFESSION. I HAVNT READ ANIMORPHS SINCE ELEMENTRY SCHOOL#IVE BEEN MEANING TO READ IT AGAIN. BUT IT STILL HAD SUCHAN IMPACT ON ME I THINK I REMEMBER ENOUGH#i wont be following any Exact canon of animorphs bc yknow what this is a different planet. or somethingm#yes i DO plan on giving the trio the power to morph#and yes i DO plan on making C.R.A.F.T entirely infiltrated by yeerks. jays dad is especially taken already#ayvas also been taken for a very very long time. even before she died#im thinking edyn in this au would also be taken. teehehee. her and her yeerk work together tho maybe#OOH lizzie is out there also. running w a big n awesome caravan of bandits. caspian is an alien but im not sure what kind yet#yknow whjat i could inject whatever wacky alien shit i want in this au. my world. my world. my world.#anyway if u feed me ideas i might eat them. i might eat them. i feel so fuckin possessed tofay#EVERYTHING IS SO DARK HEEEEEL[P!!! HELP MEEE!!! HEEEEELLP!!!!!!!!!
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played isat for the first time!!!:) i like it, its nice :]
#none of the characters rlly speak to me as My Guy so far .. im intrigued by what loops deal is#but not rlly by them as a person? so i cant say theyre my fav#same with siffrin. i love how they sometimes say like some rlly concerning stuff like its no big deal#like “its ok if i die as long as my friends survive. as long as i do my job” n shit like Ok man! happy for you. theyre swag they intrigue m#i like mira:) shes nice. i like odille:) shes awesome. bonnie is cool n i like their dynamic w odille#isas cute#i find the whole concept intriguing. and im very curious as to who loop Is. if they were always like this or if they became this way#and how exactl theyre connected to siffrin. and the king bc im assuming theyre connected to hmi one way or another#maybe theyre the handmaiden that mira 'replaced' ?!! crazy if true#i like the ost a lot:) i like the art. the character interactions are rlly awesome the dialogues wonderful#its v lovely#played 3-4 hours just nyaow so theres still a LOT for me to get to... i wouldnt have played as much had i not been streaming to a friend#but!!ya:) its nice. i like it. ill def play more of it#its a nice game#its been in my wishlist for monthssss im happy to finally play it#anyway out of the main group odilles my fav for nyaow i think tho it might very possibly change#sharing my thoughts here bc i know some of my mutuals/followers like this game . and im the yapper 👍#the character dialogue rlly is everything to me. v awesome
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#i have been lying around with the urge to like um erase myself teeheeeeeeeeeeee#i love having a thin skin and also gng through PMS and also just being idk someone who hates themselves a lot hahahaahahahaha#I JUST WENT TO FUCKING THERAPY FOR MY FEELINGS OF NEEDING TO BE USEFUL AND KEEP PEOPLE HAPPY#JUST LAST WEEK#WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKKKKKKKKKK#MENTAL HEALTH IS SO MUCH FUCKING HARD WORK I HATE IT HERE#IVE BEEN FEELING TIGHTNESS IN MY CHEST ALL DAY TODAY AND THIS STUPID THING JUST DETONATED#AND ITS A FUCKING SUNDAY I HAVE TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW KNOWING I FEEL LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT AT WORK#i feel like everyone probably hates me AND they should bc im so useless#AND IM SOMEHOW SUPPOSED TO UNLEARN NEEDING TO FEEL NEEDED????? WTF?????????????? GIRLLLLLLLLLLL I DONT HAVE THAT KINDA SELF ESTEEM L O L#i mean we all know hahaha yeah self esteem its something ure supposed to build yourself! it takes work!#I DONT WANNA DO THE WORK IT SUCKS HERE WHY CANT EVERYONE JUST LOVE ME AND FOR ME TO BE AWESOME AND FLAWLESS OMG IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR#fuck i know it is. and im supposed to sit down and imagine sitting down with some older fucking wise self and idk sit down and watch myself#so i can see how my brain is beating me up for jack shit but god its painful to even think about#and dinner is happening soon and i dont have any excuse for not gng to the dinner table soon#meanwhile im having a breakdown lolllll gotta pretend everything is fine and im not losing my mind so my parents wont call me a lil bitch :)#NEGATIVITY#i hate how much suicidal ideations are imprinted into my brain hehehehehehehe
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NEW DHMIS UPDATE!!! YAYYY!!
I'm very excited, I DO REALLY WANT THE ONE SWEATER REFERENCING THE ELEVATOR CHARACTER
I love all the stuff on the website, I was just really looking forward to Colin merch, we don't have it yet, but I can wait. THE PAINTINGS HAVE HIM THO!!
Oughhhsjdndnfnfn at least I have my cosplay, maybe someday I can get my stupid on a shirt
I don't wanna say too much so go explore it yourself! It's under the new dhmis video on their YouTube!!
Thank you, Becky and Joe, for feeding us in this trying time
#kskdjfjjf colinnn... why.. plss#i need to breathe#im a lil sad we dont get my fav boi on merch yet but im still holding out hope#if i had a lot of adult money i would buy everything on the site#i would be happy hehe#AGAIN I REALLY WANT THE MERCH OF THE ELEVATOR LADY#I LOVE THEM SMM THEYRE SO CUTE AND FUN!!!#MOST UNDERRATED DHMIS CHARACTER I SWEAR!!!#om nom nom nom new content make me jitter#STICKERS!! I WANT STICKERSS!!!#i wanna talk about the site... plsss.. i wanna.. oughh..#I JUST DBDBBDBFBFNF#tgeres so much stuffs to look at and talk about#i wonder if theres secrets :0#if not its fine#STILL SO AWESOME!!!#dhmis#dont hug me im scared#apologetically rambling#trust im grateful im happy im KDJFNFN#*explodes into confetti*
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im soooo happy rn
#camera talks#and so in love like so badly a lot its kinda embarrassing#i was struggling not to just happy stim over everything while on vc a moment ago eep <333#and like a very fun thing happened for me earlier too which is really really awesome#and idk i just think im happy and in love :)#i miss both my bfs sooooo much rn tho </3#i want to see them both irl so bad :((#i should go to bed soon lol
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hey guys have u guys heard abt the darkness that’s on the edge of town……..
#TN ILL BE ON THAT HILL CAUSE I CANT STOP ILL BE ON THAT HILL W EVERYTHING I GOT LIVES ON THE LINE WHERE DREAMS ARE FOUND AND LOST ILL BE#THERE ON TIME AND ILL PAY THE COST FOR WANTING THINGS THAT CAN ONLG BE FOUND IN THE DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️#hai tumblr it’s been so long……….#moved so far away to a new college and it has been so wonderful and beautiful and perfect yayyyyyyyy :D ^_^#i got an awesome internship and i’ve been making friends and taking sick urban studies class and i’m so happy and proud of myself ehehehe!!!#I AM SO WOERIED IM GONNA FAIL ALL OF MY CLASS ACTUALKY THO LOL#and my adderall has been iffy or my tolerance is fucked or SOMETHING BUT ITS OKAY ITS OKAY THERES A DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN#bruce is playing near me in like a month and i wanna go SOOOO BADDDDDD i saw him last february it was MAGICAL#TIL SOMEDAY THEY CUT IT LOOSE CUT IT LOOSE OR LET IT DRAG EM DOWN WHERE NO ONE ASKS ANY QUESTIONS OR LOOKS TOO LONG IN UR FACE IN THE DARKNE#SS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN 🗣️🗣️🗣️#em.txt#bruce springsteen
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every day tttaac gets closer. im normal. im so normal. im ssosoooo normal.
#babbles#the times they are a changin'#fig and i have been working on this fic since MARCH!! AND SOON IT'LL BE OUT!!! AND SOMETHING YOU CAN READ!!!! AAAHHHH#now that its getting so close to being real i oscillate so rapidly b/w 'this is so hype im so excited this is gonna blow ppls socks off'#and the last-minute nerves of 'oh god is this even good' LOLLL but i know its just nerves. this is the biggest thing iv ever worked on#fig is an awesome co-author and hes especially been on that grind in this home stretch and im really happy and hype for him. this would be#NOTHING without him and i look at the stuff he's made and i smile sooo bigly and evilly its going to kill you guys. god. goddd#when i talk abt tttaac i keep saying i dont want it to get popular: and i dont#like its inherently in its tone and premise and length and style and everything NICHE and i like that#i would rather appeal to a select few people who are super into this sorta thing than subject 100000000 ppl to it#BUT. i also look at it and i think - man we did this. we put all this work in. and it deserves to be recognized i think. ya know#all of this to say: if our 10/10 post date gets overshadowed by reigen ova i'll be PISSED this is the ONE DAY I DONT WANT THAT ADAPTATION#10/10 good day for it for many reasons related to the fic itself but also its really funny to imagine#it being next to a bunch of normal ass reigen bday fics on ao3. HAPPY BIRTHDAY REIGEN YOU GET [DATA EXPUNGED]
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Been playing through gw2 core story with a good friend of mine who started playing recently and we beat it tonight. There's something really... Emotional about going back and doing the core story after the dragon cycle's ended and you know how things play out. The little foreshadowings... The ways the dragons work that the pact doesn't know about yet... The sheer amount of joy and celebration throughout Tyria after slaying Zhaitan.
It's.
Honestly kindof amazing. And thinkinh about what exactly was happening in cantha during these years is a whole nother can of worms you could get into.
#gw2#needless to say im so happy my friend likes this game and being able to share things with people i love brings me so much joy#also now *I* get to be the mesmer bullshitting my friend into places they shouldn't be able to reach ;)#also they aren't as stubborn as I was about story like I INSISTED upon going through everything without mounts until unlocking them#like i didn't have raptor until PoF#its really nice that ANET lets people get raptor and springer before doing PoF now#makes life easier#anyway cat when you read this you're awesome and so is Eryth
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HE ASKED ME OUT!! My friend that I hung out with. The date that wasn't but so could've been. We hung out again. Watched a movie. And just hung out and talked after and it was awesome. And then at the end of the night he dropped me off and asked and we talked about the thing I had a problem with. The thing where we wouldn't work and it was really sad because I really do have a crush on him. It's him being a traditional guy. And like im not the traditional type. But we talked and it's a thing I'm wanting to try and so is he and so we're going to try a date and see how it goes and I'm super happy now and it's the best! This has been an awesome night!
Writing this I am having thoughts of all the ways it can or could go wrong and all the ways it could still not work out. And so it's dulling the happy and kinda making me feel like a bad person and a bad friend.
#personal#im so happy right now!!#and bad thoughts#have to ask big questions#and actually get the words out#but its a date!#i have a date!#with an awesome guy!#hopefully awesome#hopefully hes still awesome after the date#and i dont ruin everything and neither does he#and i can be happy because hes really cool
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I’m so in love with the way you draw Ted, thank you for sharing with the world
and thank you for enjoying my drawings !!! :-] 🫶🫶
#im just happy to be here drawing silly guys and seeing yall like them too \o/#ITS FUN yall are so fucking awesome forreal for leaving stuff in the tags and whatnot!!! i vacuum those up so much#pn.ask#is it just me or is that gif sped up thats so funny.. GO WHITEBOY GIVE US EVERYTHING!!!
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i don't get those people that are like "uooouu i dont draw people of x race bc idk how to draw them :(((" like. enough with the excuses, thats when you get on the internet and start looking at the literal millions of photos at your disposal!! i am drawing my ocs rn as if they were real people and it is so so fun to look at different people and figure out what makes them look the way they do, and what makes them look different from other people. it is so fun to draw different face shapes, different eyes, noses, mouths, etc. IT'S FUN TO DRAW OTHER PEOPLE!!!
if you can only draw white people i promise you that it is not hard to learn how to draw people of other races. doing it will ultimately be so helpful for your artistic growth and character design in the future. don't be scared of what you don't know how to draw, and instead go forwards to draw new things!! this also applies to different ages and body types as well. if you only draw skinny 20-somethings, then branch out a bit!! it's fine to stick to only one thing, but its also good to experiment and learn something new. draw old people!! draw fat people!! draw disabled people!! draw fat, old, disabled people!! fill up your mental library with so much reference and it will help so much i promise you
put some enrichment in your enclosure and get some variety!!!!
#drawing has been so fun for me lately i am filled with childlike whimsy#im actually applying the basics and shit to my art. and it's making it better. who woulda thunk#my most recent drawing i was practicing thinking in 3d to figure things out like hands and arm placement and whatever#art is so fun im so happy YAHOO!!#it feels like everything i've learned is coming back to me and suddenly i can draw poses and faces and. oh it feels so good to draw#this post is partially talking to myself as well bc i know i definitely need to step out of my comfort zone (which is what i was doing -#- before writing this post and in fact what inspired me to write this)#and i mean. even if you don't exclusively draw white people its still good to draw new features and stuff#i never drew like. exclusively white people. but everyone did end up with those samey animeish features#stretching those anime features into something real just feels so rewarding.... ouuugghhgh its so good#anyways. can you tell im really happy rn. i have been having more fun drawing recently than i have been in a while#everythings just. working rn. making art feels so awesome
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