#and its so awesome and im so happy and everything
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#i graduated w my masters in library science last week!#and its so awesome and im so happy and everything#but it just occurred to me the odds that i represent too#out of all my friends from freshman year im one of a handful that graduated undergrad#one of two that have actually started grad school#and the only one who stuck it through#i know some of my friends would like to go back to school some day and more power to them i hope they can and do!!#but woah im the First to have two degrees of my school peers#also makes me feel good because neither of my parents finished a graduate degree (tho they could have if theyd prioritized it)#idk its nice to feel like im actually the best or the first to hit the finish line#because ive never been the best or the top ever#just very very good. if that makes sense. forgettably good#idk its a bad mindset to be in i know but the self confidence boost of having Two Degrees At Twenty Five is amazing
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im going to be so annoying all week
#agghagahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HYYESAAHHHH#★ arin rambles#BRO BRO PLEASLE#PELASE#my apology for everyone. I have to make it now . Sorry. If youre following me destroy that notif button you dont wanna hear how worse i will#get#actually no just Unfollow entirely#ITS THE ADHD#PLEASE. HE IS SO . COOL. his trailer is so awesome IVE REWATECHED IT 3 TIME SNOW.#I LOVE HIMMMMMMM SO MUCHHHHH#I LOVE HIM SO BAD I JUST ADORE HIM PLEASE#HES SO PRETTY. JAW DROPPING. ICONIC. LIFE CHANGING. THE TEARS IN MY EYES. GENUINELY SOBBING RITHT NOW IT S SO OVER#aventurine likers hold me. Nobody understands. Everyone is scared of me im too crazy#actually its everything wrong with me . Hes ruining my life#i dont struggle as an aventurine liker i actually excel at this its my full rime job now#‘9 to 5’ no i work 9 to 9. Every hour is dedicated to him#im glad uguys agree with me thannk uou i was starting to think i was a freak#Well i am but im glad someone else agrees hes cool#Hes so pretty im so happy#I CAMT WAIT RILL WENDENSDAY PLEASE IM GONNA FREAKIFN BLOW UP#I LOVE AVENTURINE. I LOVE AVETURINE.#i get so happy when i see him i get a little violent its unsettling .#like im like shaking my hands and jumping around my room and then u blink and im bashing my head against the floor#its carpet. Im ok. But like not but i am#DUDE. I LOVE. THIS GUY. EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM#i needto. Just. Okay brb gonna watch ir like 20 more times ill see u guys next year im going into a Aventurine induced coma#this makes me realize people read my tags. Oh dear. Sorry everypony#i apologize for my behavior. I will get so much scarier.#HES SO COOL. HES ACTYALLU SO COOL. LIKE HOW CAN SOMEBODY BE SO COOL.#oh god OH LORERDRDRDDDDDDD WHEN I GET YOU BOY WHEN I FIND YOU. WATCH OUT. WATCH OUT I WILL GET YOU.
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reminder.
#hi i couldnt think of an awesome caption for all of this so um ill talk in the tags about my thought process#silhouette is forgetting herself. and she knows this. they reflect on this often. this time literally in a mirror. and their face...#its blurry. its obscured. they can see their own tired expression... but can they really see their face?#and the flames. once again burning away at their memories. sil can watch herself forget in real time if she wanted. she's so tired.#she could burn away everything if she wanted. they could keep burning until there's nothing left at all. and that self destructive tendency#is tempting. god it is so tempting to say fuck it and give up. but no they cant. they have a job to do. they usually remind themself to kee#going in the mirror. even when the reflection doesnt always look familiar. but now theres also something else. a new glimmer of hope in#silhouette's otherwise bleak life. a girl. she doesnt know if they can have that happy ending. but she will do anything to keep her safe.#and for now that is enough. sil doesnt know if she will remember her own face or her own name but my fucking god she will not forget lucy's#anyway hi im normal about my ocs 😁 teehee#my art#doodle#digital art#colored sketch#oc tag#silhouette#lucille
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so uhh i DID start writing again but this time its w my Riptide Cowboy Au Thats Also Just An Animorphs Au. here check out this very small bit of it. (under the cut is an OLD doodle page that i made based around this idea)
#ITS AN ANIMORPHS AU BABY AND THAT MEANS THAT THERES YEERKS BABY OOH YEAH#I LOVE YEERKS THEYRE JUST LITTLE SLUGS THAT CRAWL INTO YOUR BRAIN#im very happy w my descriptions in this lil snippet. i hope it comes across as scary as i wish it to be#im also still very happy w this doodle page. check out chip he has a pickaxe earring now#jay also comes from an airforce family. instead of RAFT its called CRAFT#yknow like air craft. teehee. also instead of the planet o MANA im thinkin o calling it either LIFE or STAMINA#yknow like how ina game u have ur health bar n mana bar n you get what i fuckin mean#OKAY AND ILL ALSO MAKE A CONFESSION. I HAVNT READ ANIMORPHS SINCE ELEMENTRY SCHOOL#IVE BEEN MEANING TO READ IT AGAIN. BUT IT STILL HAD SUCHAN IMPACT ON ME I THINK I REMEMBER ENOUGH#i wont be following any Exact canon of animorphs bc yknow what this is a different planet. or somethingm#yes i DO plan on giving the trio the power to morph#and yes i DO plan on making C.R.A.F.T entirely infiltrated by yeerks. jays dad is especially taken already#ayvas also been taken for a very very long time. even before she died#im thinking edyn in this au would also be taken. teehehee. her and her yeerk work together tho maybe#OOH lizzie is out there also. running w a big n awesome caravan of bandits. caspian is an alien but im not sure what kind yet#yknow whjat i could inject whatever wacky alien shit i want in this au. my world. my world. my world.#anyway if u feed me ideas i might eat them. i might eat them. i feel so fuckin possessed tofay#EVERYTHING IS SO DARK HEEEEEL[P!!! HELP MEEE!!! HEEEEELLP!!!!!!!!!
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played isat for the first time!!!:) i like it, its nice :]
#none of the characters rlly speak to me as My Guy so far .. im intrigued by what loops deal is#but not rlly by them as a person? so i cant say theyre my fav#same with siffrin. i love how they sometimes say like some rlly concerning stuff like its no big deal#like “its ok if i die as long as my friends survive. as long as i do my job” n shit like Ok man! happy for you. theyre swag they intrigue m#i like mira:) shes nice. i like odille:) shes awesome. bonnie is cool n i like their dynamic w odille#isas cute#i find the whole concept intriguing. and im very curious as to who loop Is. if they were always like this or if they became this way#and how exactl theyre connected to siffrin. and the king bc im assuming theyre connected to hmi one way or another#maybe theyre the handmaiden that mira 'replaced' ?!! crazy if true#i like the ost a lot:) i like the art. the character interactions are rlly awesome the dialogues wonderful#its v lovely#played 3-4 hours just nyaow so theres still a LOT for me to get to... i wouldnt have played as much had i not been streaming to a friend#but!!ya:) its nice. i like it. ill def play more of it#its a nice game#its been in my wishlist for monthssss im happy to finally play it#anyway out of the main group odilles my fav for nyaow i think tho it might very possibly change#sharing my thoughts here bc i know some of my mutuals/followers like this game . and im the yapper 👍#the character dialogue rlly is everything to me. v awesome
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hey guys have u guys heard abt the darkness that’s on the edge of town……..
#TN ILL BE ON THAT HILL CAUSE I CANT STOP ILL BE ON THAT HILL W EVERYTHING I GOT LIVES ON THE LINE WHERE DREAMS ARE FOUND AND LOST ILL BE#THERE ON TIME AND ILL PAY THE COST FOR WANTING THINGS THAT CAN ONLG BE FOUND IN THE DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️#hai tumblr it’s been so long……….#moved so far away to a new college and it has been so wonderful and beautiful and perfect yayyyyyyyy :D ^_^#i got an awesome internship and i’ve been making friends and taking sick urban studies class and i’m so happy and proud of myself ehehehe!!!#I AM SO WOERIED IM GONNA FAIL ALL OF MY CLASS ACTUALKY THO LOL#and my adderall has been iffy or my tolerance is fucked or SOMETHING BUT ITS OKAY ITS OKAY THERES A DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN#bruce is playing near me in like a month and i wanna go SOOOO BADDDDDD i saw him last february it was MAGICAL#TIL SOMEDAY THEY CUT IT LOOSE CUT IT LOOSE OR LET IT DRAG EM DOWN WHERE NO ONE ASKS ANY QUESTIONS OR LOOKS TOO LONG IN UR FACE IN THE DARKNE#SS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN 🗣️🗣️🗣️#em.txt#bruce springsteen
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'self shipping is cringe 11!!!!!!'
all of mental health care and experiences is the dumbest fuckoff thing in the world, i do not draw the line at imagining Hot Fictional Man giving me a littel kith making me want to kill myself less. my entire life has been 'well i want to see my cat tomorrow' 'i dont want to make my dad sad' 'i want to make friends one day' 'who knows maybe just maybe if i keep going a real guy will appear and do the things fictional man in my head does that i think about' if u have a slightly incorrect brain makeup u just cant feel HappyTM the experience of being in a randomly generated genetic vessel of flesh chemicals and bone is extremely stupid keep living for whatever makes you happy and if that is the thought of fictional character loving you then godspeed my friend
#creativelyrottedmind#rot.txt#hope is the single most fucking exghausting goddamn emotion u will ever cling to in your entire life and i mean that#i have never once seen anyone talk about how fucking TIRING it is to be unable to snuff out hope#i WISH i could lay on the floor and give up but no theres this little voice in the back of my head#this little tea light that REFUSES to be put out or stop burning#and i like. hate and resent that. sometimes i really really need 'everything is awful forever and ever and it WONT get better NO MATTER#WHAT' floor time but no that fucking candle is taunting me STILL LIKE ITS SO DUMB DUUUDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#being alive is the single dumbest thing ever its just a clown show from there on (affectionate)#AND IT WORKS OUT IF YOU KEEP TRYING BECAUSE IM WRITING THIS ON MY 23RD BIRTHDAY IN A NEW STATE IN A NEW LIFE WITHOUT ABUSE ANYWHERE NEAR ME#ITS FUCKING AWESOME AND SO STUPID SO YEAH CLING TO ANY THING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY thats my wisdom i had a brain celled thought
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every day tttaac gets closer. im normal. im so normal. im ssosoooo normal.
#babbles#the times they are a changin'#fig and i have been working on this fic since MARCH!! AND SOON IT'LL BE OUT!!! AND SOMETHING YOU CAN READ!!!! AAAHHHH#now that its getting so close to being real i oscillate so rapidly b/w 'this is so hype im so excited this is gonna blow ppls socks off'#and the last-minute nerves of 'oh god is this even good' LOLLL but i know its just nerves. this is the biggest thing iv ever worked on#fig is an awesome co-author and hes especially been on that grind in this home stretch and im really happy and hype for him. this would be#NOTHING without him and i look at the stuff he's made and i smile sooo bigly and evilly its going to kill you guys. god. goddd#when i talk abt tttaac i keep saying i dont want it to get popular: and i dont#like its inherently in its tone and premise and length and style and everything NICHE and i like that#i would rather appeal to a select few people who are super into this sorta thing than subject 100000000 ppl to it#BUT. i also look at it and i think - man we did this. we put all this work in. and it deserves to be recognized i think. ya know#all of this to say: if our 10/10 post date gets overshadowed by reigen ova i'll be PISSED this is the ONE DAY I DONT WANT THAT ADAPTATION#10/10 good day for it for many reasons related to the fic itself but also its really funny to imagine#it being next to a bunch of normal ass reigen bday fics on ao3. HAPPY BIRTHDAY REIGEN YOU GET [DATA EXPUNGED]
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in hindsight i realize i may not have been clear about minecraft last night. let me be clear (<- obama voice): I Have It
#mine#everything people said online is true. the deck runs modded minecraft and does it well#i capped the fps at 70 just cause but when i wasnt busy having fun and managed to look at the corner to check it#it was pretty consistently in 50s and 60s and the game never really felt bumpy or laggy or unpleasant#one thing i don't understand...i downloaded maybe 60 mods but ingame on the start screen it says 143?!?!?!?#anyway im having so much fun there are so many biomes and funny colored animals its so exciting#and everything looks so PRETTYYYYYY !!!!!#i love you steam deck thank you for bringing video games back into my life...#i hope one of these days i can join a server or something too it would be nice to do multiplayer as well#but my singleplayer world was really fun so far too :3 i spawned into an area with exclusively warm biomes which is kind of annoying#because ive always liked temperate and cold biomes more but its ok there was like an oasis biome or sometrhing??!!!#im making a cute little adobe house next to this big mountain :3 theres a savanna and jungle nearby#the mountains go SO HIGH!!!!!! and i found this creepy water tunnel inside another mountain that had magma in the walls it was awesome#i havent played in so long i cant always tell what came from a mod and what came from vanilla#but i dont care cause im having so much fun yipppeeeeee :3#theres horses near my house too so im going to wrangle them as soon as i can...i have a very exploratory playstyle in mc#im basically a cartographer cause the only thing i ever want to do is run around with a map in my hand until the map is filled out#then i go home and slap it on the wall with 7 million other maps and make a ginormous picture of the world#it makes me happy :) so that is my plan
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Been playing through gw2 core story with a good friend of mine who started playing recently and we beat it tonight. There's something really... Emotional about going back and doing the core story after the dragon cycle's ended and you know how things play out. The little foreshadowings... The ways the dragons work that the pact doesn't know about yet... The sheer amount of joy and celebration throughout Tyria after slaying Zhaitan.
It's.
Honestly kindof amazing. And thinkinh about what exactly was happening in cantha during these years is a whole nother can of worms you could get into.
#gw2#needless to say im so happy my friend likes this game and being able to share things with people i love brings me so much joy#also now *I* get to be the mesmer bullshitting my friend into places they shouldn't be able to reach ;)#also they aren't as stubborn as I was about story like I INSISTED upon going through everything without mounts until unlocking them#like i didn't have raptor until PoF#its really nice that ANET lets people get raptor and springer before doing PoF now#makes life easier#anyway cat when you read this you're awesome and so is Eryth
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HE ASKED ME OUT!! My friend that I hung out with. The date that wasn't but so could've been. We hung out again. Watched a movie. And just hung out and talked after and it was awesome. And then at the end of the night he dropped me off and asked and we talked about the thing I had a problem with. The thing where we wouldn't work and it was really sad because I really do have a crush on him. It's him being a traditional guy. And like im not the traditional type. But we talked and it's a thing I'm wanting to try and so is he and so we're going to try a date and see how it goes and I'm super happy now and it's the best! This has been an awesome night!
Writing this I am having thoughts of all the ways it can or could go wrong and all the ways it could still not work out. And so it's dulling the happy and kinda making me feel like a bad person and a bad friend.
#personal#im so happy right now!!#and bad thoughts#have to ask big questions#and actually get the words out#but its a date!#i have a date!#with an awesome guy!#hopefully awesome#hopefully hes still awesome after the date#and i dont ruin everything and neither does he#and i can be happy because hes really cool
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I’m so in love with the way you draw Ted, thank you for sharing with the world
and thank you for enjoying my drawings !!! :-] 🫶🫶
#im just happy to be here drawing silly guys and seeing yall like them too \o/#ITS FUN yall are so fucking awesome forreal for leaving stuff in the tags and whatnot!!! i vacuum those up so much#pn.ask#is it just me or is that gif sped up thats so funny.. GO WHITEBOY GIVE US EVERYTHING!!!
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i don't get those people that are like "uooouu i dont draw people of x race bc idk how to draw them :(((" like. enough with the excuses, thats when you get on the internet and start looking at the literal millions of photos at your disposal!! i am drawing my ocs rn as if they were real people and it is so so fun to look at different people and figure out what makes them look the way they do, and what makes them look different from other people. it is so fun to draw different face shapes, different eyes, noses, mouths, etc. IT'S FUN TO DRAW OTHER PEOPLE!!!
if you can only draw white people i promise you that it is not hard to learn how to draw people of other races. doing it will ultimately be so helpful for your artistic growth and character design in the future. don't be scared of what you don't know how to draw, and instead go forwards to draw new things!! this also applies to different ages and body types as well. if you only draw skinny 20-somethings, then branch out a bit!! it's fine to stick to only one thing, but its also good to experiment and learn something new. draw old people!! draw fat people!! draw disabled people!! draw fat, old, disabled people!! fill up your mental library with so much reference and it will help so much i promise you
put some enrichment in your enclosure and get some variety!!!!
#drawing has been so fun for me lately i am filled with childlike whimsy#im actually applying the basics and shit to my art. and it's making it better. who woulda thunk#my most recent drawing i was practicing thinking in 3d to figure things out like hands and arm placement and whatever#art is so fun im so happy YAHOO!!#it feels like everything i've learned is coming back to me and suddenly i can draw poses and faces and. oh it feels so good to draw#this post is partially talking to myself as well bc i know i definitely need to step out of my comfort zone (which is what i was doing -#- before writing this post and in fact what inspired me to write this)#and i mean. even if you don't exclusively draw white people its still good to draw new features and stuff#i never drew like. exclusively white people. but everyone did end up with those samey animeish features#stretching those anime features into something real just feels so rewarding.... ouuugghhgh its so good#anyways. can you tell im really happy rn. i have been having more fun drawing recently than i have been in a while#everythings just. working rn. making art feels so awesome
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#i am so in love its unreal. never have i ever before felt this wealth of human emotions so concentrated over the past month and a week#genuinely mind boggling how talking to logan more and more and then dating him has literally made me feel likr a new man.#not that im different or that i absolutely need him to function in my day to day life#but its the richness that being in love brought to my life that was unexpected#i had a thing with another online friend like 4 yrs ago and it never felt like much admittedly. i almost gave up dating when he broke it off#bc i thought there was something to online dating that wasnt cutting it and i didnt stand a chance at meeting someone irl#and that entire time i knew logan at least a little bit but we didnt really begin talking often until like#6 months ago maybe? and just the more we talked the more we clicked ajd i liked him so much but i was so afraid that it wouldnt be mutual#and i was so afraid that even if he is in what feels like a pretty open polycule hed never ask me out or anything#and then he did and my world felt like it exploded into a cacophony of colors and sounds and feelings and emotions#like something had been unlocked in me that hadnt been touched in years. my ability to love.#and with that came some of the most upsetting spiraling intense depressive states of my life. but it was okay. it still is okay.#its only been a bit over a month but it feels like so much more than that bc i feel like everything is so much more vivid now#i also think im beginning to take a very particular fondness to someone else in the cule but im so not stating who or expanding upon it#he also makes me really happy but i dont think im ready to take that step yet. even if it would be a dream come true.#i love what i have now and i dont want to complicate it yet.#a extremely loving and charming boyfriend and a couple of other close friends who happen to also be dating him is good. its awesome#i just. i dont know. i dont know how logan would feel abt it. i dont know abt how other guy would feel abt it.#sometimes im not even sure how i would feel abt it#aughghhhhhhhh. yeah. human emotion. love for my boyfriend who is beautiful and loving and charming and funny and talented. ueh#i dont think he reads these rambles. sometimes i hope he does. sometimes i hope he doesnt. i love him so much#i dont want to worry him with my shit constantly but it would also be nice to worry him with it occasionally#logan if you see this i love you more than words could ever describe. im so happy that ur in my life and that you chose me to be in ur own#gamey rambles#💜
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well! bye everyone i'm off to re-read my fav book trilogy of all time that i havent read since their original releases when i was a teenager and also finally get to read the prequel that i never got around to reading for the first time so. i'll see u guys on the other side and by other side i mean i'll see u guys when i re-emerge into society drenched in blood and tears rambling about all the new mental evidence i will have collected for my years-long headcanon that Katniss is autistic and sobbing about how many more details of the whole story i understand on a more profound and deep level than my teenage self was capable of processing properly
#also idk if its visible in this pic but the covers for all of these#have that awesome multi-textured thing where the text and graphic design is slightly raised and has a sort of gilded shimmery effect to it#and its so so pretty!!! these are my own brand new copies im so happy to finally have the whole series after such a long time#i wanna re-watch the movies with my moms once i finish reading everything too cus its been a while and also#i never got around to seeing either of the Mockingjay movies when they came out#(my own horrible life events got in the way of that unfortunately and also my at the time untreated adhd)#so even though i've always loved the books more cus thats just kind of. a pretty standard book-to-movie enjoyment level thing i feel like#i did like what i saw of the first two ESPECIALLY Catching Fire i really like that movie#when i first read Mockingjay it messed me up for such a long time afterwards cus this whole series hits so fucking close to home with me#from Katniss' POV especially in the books. so i have no idea what i will eventually think of the movie versions of that#since that book has never left my head as one of my favorite things i've ever read so far in my life. i love u suzanne collins#ANYWAYS IM EXCITED this will be my first time reading these as an adult!!! wooo the horrors!!! the existential dread!!!
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i drew this miku and it was fun! i think clip studio paint and i will be good friends
#navart#hatsune miku#miku#miku fanart#its the awesome herself....#still very much figuring out........ well everything#im just happy to have my first piece of finished art in very long!#well semi finished#its hard to know when a drawing is actually finished#like i could add more but right now i want to move on so it is finished#navy big art
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