#ALWAYS SELF-SERVING
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Doctor Who’s new bi-generation twist feels like a slap to the face - The Verge
"Russell T. Davies’ hearts are in the right place, but the introduction of Ncuti Gatwa’s new Doctor Who was marked by a number of questionable decisions and racist tropes..."
Perfect example of the stench coming from Leftism in Journalism. Charles Pullliam-Moore doesn't just insult the Doctor Who show, as a long tradition, he goes on to worry more about Ncuti Gatwa being upstaged. He doesn't seem to mind the very glaring trope of having Gatwa run around with no pants or presenting black men as either weak, trans, or queer. That's also a harmful trope. This guy is also a Rotten Tomatoes critic and works for many other publications like the Socialist Conservative #NPR. The Leftist Propaganda Sphere took over a shitload of media. #TheVerge is just one example. #BBC
#TYE STENCH OF ⬅️ ST JOURNALISM#ALWAYS NASTY#ALWAYS SELF-SERVING#THE VERGE#CHARLES PULLIAM-MOORE#HOW DID SOMEONE SO UNPROFESSIONAL GET A GIG AS A ROTTEN TOMATOES CRITIC?#ROTTEN TOMATOES WENT QUEER#Velvet Mafia Controlled
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Taking the current topic as an excuse to ask you to tell me all the reasons you love Rarijack. Your art for the ship is so sweet and intimate I'd love to hear any in depth thoughts you have.
Breathes in.
I think what makes their dynamic really strong is that they have opposing personalities but aligned values. It's deeper than just "opposites attract." Rarity's fancy, prissy, and femme while Applejack's modest, rough, and "masculine." But both value hard work (to the point of being workaholics), their families (both have guardianship over their little sisters), running successful businesses, and eventually each other. Their relationship can be boiled down to, "Despite our differences/disagreements, I still like you because we value the same things."
We see their relationship develop so much. In the first season, they can't stop bickering about surface-level differences. By season four, they still bicker, but will mend their relationship because they can't help but do nice things for each other. In Trade Ya, they start off arguing over personality differences (Applejack likes old junk and Rarity likes useless crap). Then they pivot and start arguing that they value their relationship more than the other. In the end, they mend things by sacrificing their needs and buying each other a gift. Even if they don't understand it, they know it'd make the other happy. And that's all that really matters. It's a genuinely sweet moment that shows how arguing can be healthy and necessary for relationships to strengthen.
We even see them dropping their hang-ups about each others' personalities. In Made in Manehattan, when Rarity runs off in dramatics about someone's fashion, AJ doesn't roll her eyes or scoff, she smiles. Oftentimes, their conflicts are very common domestic conflicts romantic couples face. Applejack's Day Off is about a woman's inability to balance work and life and find time to properly spend with her partner, causing her partner to feel neglected.
By season seven, they're actively participating in each others' interests. Any problems or conflicts that arise are dealt with, and they come out the other end stronger and closer. In Honest Apple, AJ pretty much spells out why their relationship works so well: even though she doesn't understand fashion, she can recognize and appreciate how much work it takes and wants to respect that. When she realizes her mistake in the episode, AJ goes above and beyond to fix things and apologize to Rarity. They care about each other so much.
The two go out of their way, sacrificing their personal desires and beliefs and doing things they normally wouldn't, to make the other happy. That's just love.
There's Simple Ways, where AJ gets stuck in an unwanted love triangle between Rarity and her hipster crush. And her frustration and anger can be so easily interpreted as AJ finding herself in a terrible position; the girl she loves wants another man, and that man wants her.
I dunno. I've always had a preference for opposites attract ships, but Rarijack's stuck with me like a brain worm because they have the perfect chemistry. The way they show they care, or do things for each other, I've always read it as the truest representation of romance in the show.
#rarijack#i refuse to be embarrased by how much i know about this damn pony show#this is part of the reason why i never bought into appledash unfortunately. their values aren't aligned#rd lies a lot and often for very self serving reasons#and she distances herself from her family because they're. cringe? overbearing? her parents are very loving and supportive#meanwhile aj's. whole fucking thing. is honesty and family#ask me#anon#this is why it's still a little baffling they aren't canon#we got SO much real development with so much potential subtext#and it never really crossed the finish line#i dunno every time they do something to show they care i'm reminded of myself and my partner too#whenever i see something that's inconvenient or complicated or against my personality (adhd haver) but i know it'd make my#boyfriend happy. i do it anyways. and i always think to myself “wow. that's what love is. that's what it feels like”
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god, armand as a character is giving me serious brainrot. he's such a control freak because he desperately needs to derive meaning from something—anything. whether it's god, rituals, or coven life, he needs to give a purpose to his existence. this is why he upholds these stringent laws and regulations in both of his covens, which are ultimately destroyed by someone he loves who stands outside it all. and he kind of just allows that destruction, despite all of his power, because he is also... bored? it's like he's on autopilot, going through life in this meticulously constructed routine until he meets lestat and later louis, who both refuse to adhere to his carefully crafted structures and disrupt the status quo. this is attractive to armand because deep down, underneath his all masked emotions, he is very lonely and desperate for connection! which is just awfully human for such an ancient powerful being
imagine being this old and alone, how do you endure? armand tries to find value in these rigid structures because otherwise, his life feels empty. "he needs rules to give him purpose" but in the end, this doesn't fulfill him completely because, despite his feigned confidence and stoicism, he is insecure, needy, and traumatized. this is why he seeks out chaos despite having spent all this time trying to control everything and everyone around him. he lets it happen—for love, but also, i think, because unconsciously he desires that total loss of control, which allows him to actually feel something real. every few decades, he almost intentionally lets his entire world, the world he worked so hard to manipulate into his will, be ruined. yet, when he tells daniel he "let it happen," he is lying, too (at least about lestat) because he presents himself as more passive, composed, and reasonable than he really was when his way of life was threatened. he just tells himself that he wanted it that way all along so he remains the one in control. i need to see him crack
#it's just such a fun contrast with the relationship louis has with lestat#armand seems detached but he also shows just enough vulnerability to make him seem like a more stable tender option for louis#like he almost seems more “open” than lestat who masks his insecurity with bravado and acts on emotion and impulse and pushes people away#but armand is just as much hiding his real self from louis because he is always trying to manipulate#because he has carefully constructed his entire personality around protecting louis and serving him#he just fascinates me so much and i love assad's subtle performance#interview with the vampire#iwtv#armand#assad zaman#loumand
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Oh my self interested cunty husband they could never make me hate you
#y’all want me mad at striker for behaving like striker#i fear i cannot do that !!!#always been a self interested asshole#lol why would he stop now#ANYWAY OBSESSED WITH HIS FIT GOD#HE LOOKED SO GOOD#THE WHITEEEE#THE BELL BOTTOM CHAPS??#oh they knew he served#helluva boss#striker helluva boss#helluva boss striker#helluva boss mastermind#helluva boss spoilers#hb spoilers
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I am once again thinking about the reluctant ruler whose arc justly and correctly includes assuming the throne and taking responsibility for the people set before them
#it's about simba coming back to pride rock it's about aragorn using andúril to fight for middle earth and assuming the throne it's about#hiccup marrying astrid and assuming his role as chief and moses returning to egypt#and it's about irina loving her people so fully that when she claims all of her subjects as hers that chernobog must release them to her!!!#and it's about miryem choosing to stay with the staryk and repair the damage and assume responsibility for the land and people!!!!!#and! it's! about! gen!!!!#it's ALWAYS about gen!!!!#gen who didn't want to be king. who hated being king and only wanted to marry a queen but who obeyed his gods and became a king over kings#who lost his home and half his family and his HAND but who ushered in a new golden age.#and it's about sophos who ran away but who shot the ambassador and took back his kingdom#it's about duty and it's about sacrifice and it's always ALWAYS about doing the right thing even at great personal cost because it's about#submitting to a power higher than your own. of recognizing that the calling on life is one for serving others and having so much more to#answer for than just yourself. it's knowing duty is love is duty#i cant stand stories where the answer is 'give up the throne and reject your duty' because no!!! you dont get it!!!#thats how you get the monsters!!! thats how you get the prince turned into a beast and thats how you get every terrible weak king that#aragorn feared becoming#to accept your throne is to die to self!!! you are no longer you but 'king' or 'queen'#it's like queen mary says to qeii in the crown 'elizabeth mountbatten must die#elizabeth regina must take her place.'#that's terrifying! but it's also everything!!!!#die! to! self! die! to! self!!!!!!#lilac rambles#lilac goes to the movies#lion king#prince of egypt#lotr#spinning silver#the crown#tqt#the queen's thief#httyd
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Today I'm thinking about the degree to which a person is responsible for the loyalty they inspire in others.
To be more specific, I'm continuing my rewatch and thinking about the degree to which Franklin is responsible for the loyalty he has inspired in poor wee David Young.
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Young's death is a foregone conclusion, one that's been years in the making to the point where he thinks nothing of his gruesome symptoms, yes. But his lionisation of Franklin is also a not-insignificant factor in Young neglecting to speak up about his failing health.
"I didn't want to disappoint Sir John..."
Then, as he continues to decline, Young relinquishes any semblance of bodily autonomy he ever had. He's terrified at the thought of being cut open and examined, begs for Goodsir to promise to refrain from doing so. But again, his loyalty to Franklin wins out - he trusts completely that whatever Franklin orders must be for the good of the crew.
"If Sir John orders it I will do it..."
And even as death rapidly approaches, Young isn't entirely free in his own mind either. He's an extremely vulnerable young man, little more than a child really. He's 3000 miles from home. He's dying and there isn't a thing anyone can do to stop it. He's even separated from his fellow Terrors now, friends who clearly cared for his well-being and could have been at least a small comfort to him as he passed.
Young is so so frightened and he can't even fully admit to and confront that fact because of Franklin.
"And don't tell Sir John I was afraid..."
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I'm not sure yet what my point is really.
Young's loyalty and devotion to Franklin serves to make his death just that more desperate and traumatic than it otherwise would have been and it just feels like there ought to be consequences for that somehow. It feels like someone ought to pay for the tragedy of it all...
#And that's not even touching properly on Franklin's own actions#Having Young ferried about needlessly and eulogising him in the most hollow self-serving way possible etc. etc.#Perhaps Franklin isn't responsible for the loyalty he inspires#But he's definitely responsible for his carelessness and callousness in the face of that loyalty#For getting the love he so dearly craved and failing utterly to recognise or really appreciate it once he had it#And in doing so acting in a manner that made the situation worse still#I have more thoughts on this#(Don't I always?)#The Terror#The Terror AMC#The Big Terror Rewatch#S01E01#Go for Broke#David Young#Sir John Franklin#And of course it's a recurring theme throughout the story#Loyalty and devotion to the point of delusion#Loyalty and devotion that only begets misery in turn#Crozier serving an Empire and an Admiralty that is actively prejudiced against him#Gibson remaining devoted to Hickey and being slaughtered like an animal in return#Maybe even Stanley so beholden to his oath to do no harm that he's prepared to burn them all in hopes of saving further suffering#I could go on but I've made myself emotional enough already
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the glassy eyed 1000 yard western euro stare you get when you tell the people sitting in you and your visibly ill girlfriend's seats that they're in your reserved seats and they go "ach... ja but your reservation is not written here there is no r-"
excuse me you germano-frankish beady eyed cocksucker, we're on a čd train and my čd ticket shows us as having these seats, and your rootless ugly white and black deutschebahn fart app doesn't even have seat reservations because despite your national stereotype you have the same organization and respect for order a gypsy does.
don't give me your "mon dieu et iz not written here" - the train is chronically overcrowded because your third world national rail company can't book properly, you've been sitting for 3 hours from shitggart and have only been looking at your insta stories while pretending to study pierre von shittenlips. i have a visibly ill and weak passenger with me but beyond the former iron curtain, despite your supposed cosmopolitan love for all, you're like the rats in the paradise experiment who actually just viciously serve themselves first above all.
and the nerve to snicker and chat amongst yourselves once we get off... after very clearly sitting in our seats...: TOTAL WEST EURO CONTINENTAL DEATH.....
i believe now in celto-slavic racial superiority
#i fully understand edvard beneš now#i know why we killed 3000 of them with trucks in postoloprty#and it's a mindset not an ethnicity#the complete arrogant rootless cosmopolitan faggotry and proclaimed internationalism but being so rude and immediately self serving#i fully believe in a race war against everyone beyond the former iron curtain#ossies are fine because they have the eastern mentality and were protected#but seriously behead all le international cosmopolitan franco-germanic-spaniard expats going on tourism or living as le expats#complete shitbags#btw people always complain about anglos#but the anglosphere is so concerned with behaving polite i've never ever ever had a problem with them#they would have given up the seats#txt
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guys cmon. be ffr please. akemi did Not love taigen. the only reason why she was desperate to search for him to the point of putting herself in danger is because she didn't want to get married to an abusive man (which she believed at the time that takayoshi was). when seki tried to dissuade her from running off, her reason was not "but i love taigen and wanna be with him 🥺" it was because she refused to be controlled and have her autonomy taken from her; she literally says "i won't be locked away in edo married to a stranger." and when seki still tries to argue that getting married to the heir of the shogun would be better than getting caught by brigands, she then says "that kind of man"—referring to takayoshi—"treats women like animals. they say he's a tyrant." and when seki chuckles and says "what man isn't?" her response is "you." she doesn't even talk about taigen. she is using him as much as he was using her. they both see—or, well, saw—each other as means to an end. for taigen he saw that marrying into the tokunobu clan would elevate his status and wealth. for akemi she wanted the right to choose who she married, and she wanted that person to be someone kind. that's it! neither of them loved each other. but since they were courting of course they acted sweet to each other, and they do still care for one another, especially due to their romantic history. but let's be real! akemi is a boss bitch who dropped taigen and forgot all about his ass as soon as she saw takayoshi was a nice guy. because duh? not only is takayoshi a better lover (it's implied their lovemaking lasted a long time) but he's also kinder towards her and presents her with an opportunity to claim power and freedom, which she would not have if she had married taigen, as she would have still been stuck under her father's thumb. so literally why should she settle for taigen's stupid ass! she may be a little naive at times but she's still incredibly intelligent. she would not do something stupid for the sake of "love." you know who would though? taigen.
#blue eye samurai#wank.mp3#kinda?#fandom.rtf#shut up haydar#like out of the 4 main characters#akemi is the brains (the mental aspect)#she mainly uses reason and rhetoric. that's why she's so good at persuasion and manipulation.#ringo is the soul (spiritual aspect)#ringo serves as the show's moral compass and gets mizu to follow her morality#taigen is the heart (emotional aspect)#taigen will always impulsively follow his feelings (he's so brash for this reason. if he feels angry he will act on it etc)#mizu is the body (physical aspect)#mizu suppresses her emotions. her reason. and her morals. she only lets her skills and primal instincts guide her.#that's why she's almost super human sometimes#but anyway yeah#akemi? is a strong-willed self-empowered woman! she is not some damsel. she is intelligent though somewhat naive#please do not mischaracterise her cuz she is a boss bitch! she is a queen a cuntress a baddie#also on that note. the nature of taigen and akemi's rship is one of the reasons why im not keen on a polycule ending#like please explore it in fanfic and fandom! i personally just dont want it canon. i just dont see it working!#like literally i dont even think taigen found her attractive...#i mean he did obv find her very beautiful as everyone does. but did yall SEE his face when she propositioned him?#no desire in that man's eyes. he is GAY! his sexuality is men + mizu. he is a raging and bitchy bisexual!
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since we've been thinking about. another Illegal AU. we'd make a joke about how we're giving vi the trait of "literally unable to lie without taking damage" but thinking about it there aren't any notable instances where she lies outright? even when it would be pragmatic to not tell the truth (ie. the first interaction with the venus bud where she immediately announces that she has greedy explorer intentions and then is like well i wasn't gonna LIE to the plant) even early in the story when she's avoiding talking about the past, she shuts down the topic when it's brought up but she doesn't say anything that's provably untrue. we don't really know where we're going with this we just like talking about vi
#honest to a fault but with an emphasis on the fault part#always baring her intentions as loud as possible#very fun character trait Because it isn't played like it makes up for her being a grubby little self-serving capitalist
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☕️ for those who need a little escape during these holidays…
you sit quietly near the fire in your fireplace with a blanket draped across your lap, holding your hands out for warmth. the winter air outside dealt a bitter cold, but in here, the wood crackles and pops to life, and the smoky scent wafts through the room, mingling with the smell of warm pastries being baked in the oven. it’s cozy and peaceful, but maybe just a touch lonely… luckily, the clinking of silverware in the kitchen nearby assures you that you’re not alone.
your f/o soon emerges with two mugs of hot cocoa in tow, plus a plate stacked high with freshly baked buns. they hand you a mug— your favorite one!— while they snuggle up under the blanket with you. the contents of the mug are deliciously photogenic: topped with a healthy serving of whipped cream, a handful of marshmallows, and garnished with a dusting of cinnamon sugar. do they always make them this good, or is this a pleasant surprise given their usual cooking skillset?
as you get comfortable together, you hold the cup to your lips and let the steam warm the tip of your nose. finally, you give it a taste; rich, smooth, and creamy, it’s just as tasty as it looks. you compliment it with a bite of a warm bun, which has some of your favorite sweet flavors infused in the dough. you can’t help but smile as you continue to sip, knowing your partner put all that effort into making you the perfect mug of hot cocoa that just hits the spot, along with a sweet pastry that fills you with immense solace and pleasure.
you feel a warmth settle in your chest, from the drink, the baked goods, the fire, and the presence of your beloved next to you. the two of you entertain each other over your snacks: talking, laughing, getting whipped cream on each other’s noses. once the mugs are empty, you hold each other as you watch the fire begin to ease. you close your eyes and bask in it; just you and them, in each other’s arms, the only sound coming from the cracks of the logs in the hearth.
here, it’s quiet. here, it’s peaceful. here, nothing can hurt you. you’re safe, and you’re okay. they’ll never let you go.
🥐 pro/com/neutral dni
#order up! ☕️🥐#i know this time of year can be difficult for a lot of people#whether you have to be with a difficult family or spend more time by yourself than you'd prefer#please be sure to take care of yourselves <3 remember that your f/o will always be there for you whenever you need them#good yule from me to you! i hope this serves to take some of the stress away; the cafe is always open! take what you need~#imagine your f/o#imagine your fictional other#imagine your self ship#selfship imagines#selfship community#selfshipping community#self shipping#self shipper#self ship#selfship positivity
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I know most of our focus goes (rightfully) to the trial songs, but I genuinely believe Baptism of Fire is equally a masterpiece of meaningful writing and intense vocal acting
Incoming tag rant because I need to yell about this, feel free to yell back
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#like the other vds have good writing about the character and whatever social issue their crime focuses on#but this one is very pointedly about YOU#its about the audience. its about the milgram project. its about self reflection. its about self-appointed roles. its about you#even if you didnt vote t1 or anything the whole things is calling on you to reflect on your own judgements of others#how you treat people who come off rougher. how you treat people who have made a (bad but) common mistake.#do you also find entertainment in seeing people dragged down and suffering because it would 'serve them right?'#but es always remains in control of the situation. the drama doesnt end with 'and fuuta was right - you guys suck!'#its clarified that situations are different and have nuance. we are reminded to look at things with nuance.#then we are smoothly re-immersed in the story#and then!! the acting itself!!!#arthur lounsbery put his whole fussy into that performance (<- fuuta pussy) and i am in his debt every day for it#in both his vds hes just super expressive and fun to listen to#i dont understand japanese but he packs so much interesting intonation and emotion into every word -- im obsessed listening to him#he nails all the subtle emotions fuuta has: the pouts and outrage as well as underlying fear grief insecurity and immaturity#and then baptism of fire hes just... Wailing#like mahiru has her innocent and pathetic cries of pain in her sweet voice that works for her character but fuutas pain feels much more raw#the way hes practically sobbing at the end -- his voice cracking and screeching throughout -- the whimper of pain#its so unbearably intense!! it hurts!! and its supposed to!! but hes just so raw with it#and dont even get me started on his pained hysteric laughter omg....#its just. a masterpiece.#i always appreciate the vds but i dont think ive enjoyed/relistened to one as much as this one#okay WAIT im back to add one more thing because im obsessed with ths idea of intentions#specifically in milgram i think the intention behind the murders are very important to consider#so i love love love the huge focus on 'i didnt expect/mean for this to happen'#plus as a general theme in fiction i think its sooo juicy when good intentions get fucked up#so i loved the repetition of that#fuuta is such a special case because he genuinely had no desire or expectation for his victim to die#(maybe kazui too? but he doesn't say so in his vd like fuuta does)
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I guess I should have known better, that some people only do things for you when it's for them, somehow too.
#thoughts#relationships#feelings#emotions#selfish#selfishness#self serving#not that selfishness is ALWAYS bad mind you#just ofc not with everything#mental health#emotional unavailability#narcissistic personality disorder#NPD#BPD#borderline personality disorder#mental illness#trauma#C-PTSD#PTSD#complex ptsd#post traumatic stress disorder#inauthenticity#dishonesty#ulterior motives#manipulation#betrayal#betrayal trauma#unhealthy relationships#toxic relationships#energy vampire
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don't make me be anyone anymore
peace at last
miron białoszewski "wywiad"
#oc#original character#vampire oc#fern flower siege#sometimes you gotta draw some self indulgent stuff that gets 2 notes#the idea is that clement (the oc) is a noble with no lands and spent his life having to serve richer folks#despite technically being of the same status#and he always liked poetry but was like noooo i cant live off of that so its pointless#until Certain Events when he realised wow i hate this actually. i will write/read regardless.#he just like me fr#“cErtAiN evEnTs” girl you tagged it as vampire oc. cmon
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i need to find a title for it because i'd like to make it into a series or at least have its own tag (so i can edit and shitpost the hell out of it xx) but alright so. i have this soulmates au i've been harboring since march that has its own little world-building and features bonds of all kinds and every day it gives me the feels. like not every pair of siblings has a soul mark (there's seven as of season 3). those who do wreck my heart, and those who don't still manage to do so too.
anyway here's a small bit from viktor's book's abstract if anyone is interested. it's a wip so please don't judge :)
Dad had very strong opinions on Twin Flames and Soulmates, and he always made sure to remind my siblings that no matter what, the most important connection they would ever had was each other. Not because they were brothers and sister, but rather because they were a team; they were part of the Academy. This particular jab was no doubt directed towards Allison and Klaus in particular, since they were the only ones who were born with a Twin Flame, but it also served for the others, given the presence of Soulmates among us.
rattling the bars of my cage i love them.
#(viktor's book served me as a mean to list the marks in-plot and I quite like it tbh! there's Twin Flames and Soulmates but then also Kindre#plus the coexistence of being bound by fate/chance and by circumstance/choice. also the main focus are the platonic soul bonds among the#hargreeves but there's others too because i can't help myself and my demiromantic little self said so and uhh yeah! hmu if you want more)#tua#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#allison hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#five hargreeves#ben hargreeves#(both og and sparrow because I love him always)#viktor hargreeves#soulmatuaverse
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i want to see exactly how many people actually have thought i am for research because ive gotten this quite a few times from different people i just wanna see how far it goes
#please understand while im not doubting so much now im not going to base off everything by peoples perceptions of my online behavior but#i feel like it does give good insight#i just always have a little hesitation in me because i feel like no one can get a full scope or honest picture of myself to Know me enough#to say that i can trust their opinion of me without knowing me enough in that sense#gahh. cuz i always feel like im doing Just Fine Enough i feel normal enough but im not guhh.#GUHHGGGHGH#it literally wouldnt change anything for me. like im autistic . ok! shrugs my shoulders. i cope i cant to anything more to help myself#than that#do u guys get it. do i have to go eat bricks or do u guys get it. my internal struggle. im like sisyphus#i cant trust other peoples opinions of my and i cant trust my own perceptions#while of course self diagnosis is a wonderful thing i dont want to put a name on myself that serves me no purpose#autism is awesome but do i deserve that title when dont feel like i own it wether i am autistic or not#im just so conflicted.#do you get it. do you get me. am i being reasonable . am i just fighting a truth about myself or are my doubts realistic. but the Evidence.#im so tired#i do not wanna b one of those tiktok girlies saying theyr hyperfixated on cooking pasta#Now do you get me#all my long winded rabbit trail rambles out of me before i finally get to my one point condensed conclusion#and now i just cant delete the rest of my tags because of all my time spent on them#enjoy my indentity crisis lol#i Might delete some of these tags later
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allowed myself the time to spend to write a scene because the fancy took me, ended up destroying my sleep schedule to write it, woke up at 4 pm just to realize it’s not good and i would need to redo it
#at least i kind of know why but this is why i am very wary of this#writing: the hardest thing for most always no reward. as everyone already knew#i’m not exactly re-inventing the wheel with that observation#fanfiction and creative writing in general is the most fruitless hobby because it takes immense skill to do anything halfway decent#and even if you get good then no one will read it and you can forget about monetization unless you are basically a chosen one#so as a hobby it’s literally just for your own personal enjoyment and that’s great but that’s why i have a complicated relationship with it#every fanfiction is like a vanity piece and it’s an act of self-love but basically serving no other purpose#except maybe a minor social one if you share and participate in writing or fandom communities#and i don’t have time for that… every time i try writing it feels glaringly irresponsible to do so#it’s like playing video games. dude i had so much fun but i can easily see my entire life gone in a matter of seconds#if i actually did that on the regular. the amount of enjoyable timesuck is so dangerous#the elbow-high diaries
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