#ALSO THIS IS NOT EVEN MENTIONING THAT SHE'S A CANON CHARACTER'S WIFE WHOSE CANONICALLY TAKEN

[thefirstshootingstar]

gripping my keyboard

I have to introduce my first NNT OC, oh no

[quill-of-thoth]

Letters from Watson: The Cardboard Box

Crimes in Context:

Trigger warning for the whole story, since it's pretty much just spousal abuse, and we're going to cover that (briefly) here.

We have previously covered the inability to divorce in Victorian England, where you could practically separate, and be legally divorced under very specific circumstances, but it took an act of parliament to be allowed to remarry, and it was therefore de-facto impossible for many women to leave abusive husbands or to support themselves at the same level after leaving one. Reasons for a divorce to be granted included adultery and extreme cruelty. Yes, extreme cruelty. The bar for proving that to ecclesiastical court and being alive at the same time would be a high and thin one. (Historically: not being able to leave abusive husbands is a factor in MANY historical poisonings. This is not confined to the 1800's or 1900's either - Giulia Tofana, whose wikipedia entry is weirdly short, was famous, posthumously, for providing poisons to women seeking to end their marriages.) Reading between the lines of Jim Benson's tale, we have a more unreliable than usual narrator. Everything he says is through the lens of "she made me do it" which is both a very common pattern of abusers telling their story and prevents his final letter from being the good-faith explanation of events that we often see in other dead, dying, or condemned criminals in this series. The events are also not reconstruct-able by anyone else besides Sarah, and we have no knowledge of whether or not she ever recovers. He never has proof of anything he says regarding Sarah's feelings or what she may have said to Mary, and the only proof he has of Alec and Mary's affair is the custom that a married woman would likely NOT be going on a day trip to New Brighton alone with a male platonic friend.

(Its possible that Mary was not having an affair with Alec or even considering it, but Mary would have been well aware that absolutely nobody would have taken her word that nothing was going on - so I tend to think that either she was having an affair with Alec or she was engineering a plausible reason, i.e. her adultery, to leave her husband. She had two elder sisters with the means to live independently, if she tired of Jim's drinking and jealousy, she had some options.) We especially don't have evidence that Sarah loved Jim - at best, we have an awkward exchange where Jim interpreted a lessening of formality as love (or lust) and Sarah awkwardly backing out of the situation. It's equally ambiguous whether Sarah was attempting to put more distance between the two of them or if she genuinely felt vindictive about unreciprocated feelings. Whether Mary's suspicion had more do do with Jim's violent words and history of drinking than anything Sarah said, or if Sarah took it upon herself to, belatedly, vet her baby sister's husband's character. Hell, she could have been nitpicking their financial arrangements and Jim's career progression. In effect, we don't know anything about this case, and that, more than the gruesome clues and the murder, may have been why it was left out of the story collections for so long.

Why else wasn't it included in collections?

It's not the only story that contains abuse, spousal and otherwise, and it's not the goriest one. When it comes to abuse and very probable murder of a wife, not to mention abuse of his stepdaughters, we have Dr Roylott of the Speckled Band. When it comes to gore, we've had Rucastle getting his throat torn mostly out by a dog in The Copper Beeches, and we're about to have The Engineer's Thumb, which starts with Hatherley missing a thumb. We've also had the prolonged torture via starvation of Kratides in The Greek Interpreter. It is, however, probably the most hopeless story in the entire canon that deals with abuse. Absolutely nobody is saved, and absolutely nobody is given any closure - in fact, Susan Cushing is probably having a much worse time overall now that Holmes has solved the case. Yes, she would eventually know that her baby sister has been murdered by her own husband and it's absolutely broken her middle sister, who she clearly cares about even if she wants to never live with her, ever. But I posit that it's measurably worse if she has any access to Jim Benson's account - because at one point she approved of him as a match for Mary, and his account will make it very clear how wrong she was, and how Sarah, whose concerns or pessimism have probably been dismissed more than once among the sisters, was Mary's only resource.

[fincalinde]

thoughts on Su Minshan??

I actually recently did a post on SMS, so feel free to stick another token in the slot machine that is my askbox if you want. But I suppose I can build on it a little. There's one thing I brought up in there that probably does deserve more attention, and that is ...

Why, oh why, does fandom assume that SMS is unmarried when it is literally impossible that he would be single and childless? Like, this blows my mind.

Things that are clearly established by canon:

1. The jianghu operates under a clan system rather than a genre-typical pure sect system. Bloodlines are crucially important and the leadership of clans is generally passed from father to son or another close male relative, though women do rarely also obtain positions of power.

2. This system was introduced a couple of centuries earlier by Wen Mao, but is now so embedded that XXC and SL's shared vision of a merit-based sect where bloodlines are irrelevant is considered a distant and idealistic dream.

3. XXC receives numerous invitations to join clans due to his stellar reputation, and turns them all down due to this principle. He could have taken an important role in these clans but would never have been able to inherit or lead. Despite his incredible reputation, during the period of time in which he is travelling the jianghu in his pre-eye gouging days, neither he nor SL take a single disciple. This strongly indicates that even someone of literally impeccable standing couldn't even begin to get an independent merit-based sect off the ground.

... but I am supposed to believe that SMS somehow achieved this? That he left the Lan and founded his own sect with a gang of disgruntled tone deaf pals and that's the end of it? Absolutely not. He founded the Moling Su (the name itself is a big clue) in the traditional manner. He probably did involve some of his own blood relatives from the off to bulk his numbers, but even so, he's clan leader and the first thing a nascent and highly vulnerable new clan needs is heirs. SMS is absolutely married and a father to multiple children. Those children are the literal future of his clan and its very existence depends on them.

Of course his wife and children aren't explicitly mentioned by the narrative, because he's a supporting character whose function in the narrative revolves around his loyalty to JGY and his grudges against [insert list here], and his home life is irrelevant. Su-furen is either at home in Moling holding the fort; or, less likely, she's amongst the cultivators he brings to the Burial Mounds and could even potentially be intending to meet up with JGY and his cohort of loyal disciples during the collective flight to Dongying. It's just a level of detail that isn't relevant, especially to our viewpoint character, WWX, who is notoriously not detail-orientated when it comes to this kind of thing.

[scolop98]

VOTE FOR KIYOSHI KARASUMA IN THE OC POLL

@original-character-championship

OC created by @giantchasm

from Adventures in Solitude

Quick break from my regularly scheduled dinosaur propaganda to present my propaganda for the best-written OC I’ve ever seen in a fanfic. I didn't create Kiyoshi, but he lives in my head rent-free now. He looks like a normal-ass preteen but he is such a fascinating and hilarious being. He is simultaneously a serious and dramatic character study on the ethics of reincarnation and a character whose mere existence feels like a hilarious cosmic joke. He is the personification of an Angsty Crack-Taken-Seriously Fic.

“Fun” Facts About The Boy:

Has a big fluffy Samoyed named Taros.

He’s a trans boy! Came out when he was ten, and his parents & family friends accepted and supported him. These first two are fun facts and not “fun” facts, unlike pretty much the rest of his preteen existence

His sleep paralysis demon is his best friend’s past life

The reason he turned out good this time is, canonically, because he burned some ants with a magnifying glass when he was three and felt really bad about it

As a baby he hated this one aunt on sight for no discernible reason. He came around pretty quickly and now she's his favorite aunt, but 12 years later they found out that this was because that aunt was his past life's younger sister-in-law who he once tried to murder. She also happens to be his current middle school teacher's wife for some reason

His best friend once clapped at him so threateningly that Kiyoshi dissociated and almost had a past-life flashback/panic attack in the middle of capture the flag

He would be personally offended if he saw someone online call Heinz Doofenshmirtz a mad scientist*

Was once a popular kid… when he was a preschooler. Then his anxiety and self-judgement got so bad that now he just sits in the back of the classroom judging everyone and had no friends outside of his parents’ now-adult former students prior to the start of the fic

Despite being a neurotic ball of anxiety and self-loathing, he and his mom (who love each other very much) regularly cuss at each other. He’s probably better at saying “fuck” than any other thirteen year old

Is the voice of reason in his friend group despite having been, y'know, a war criminal in his past life

His best friends got into a fistfight on school grounds over whether or not he should be forgiven for his war crimes

Part of the reason that his redemption arc is so satisfying is that his awful past life knew his parents and friends and fucking hated them all. That man would’ve been legitimately horrified to learn he’d be reborn as this couple’s neurotic little scrimblo of a child. Pretty much every aspect of Kiyoshi’s personality is tailor-made to piss off his past life, and that was mostly a coincidence b/c most of Kiyoshi's character was created before the author had even considered making him a reincarnation. Kiyoshi literally just being himself and accepting who he is is a fate worse than death to the horrible narcissistic man that he was in his past life.

he’s not a natural blond

When he tried shit-talking his past life with a friend, the best insult they could come up with was “Ghetsis from Pokemon”

"'WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP CALLING MY SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON HOT!?,' Kiyoshi wails” is an actual quote from this fic. Both of his best friends, and half of his middle school class, agreed that his sleep paralysis demon was sexy

canonically ate a live rat in his past life*

*these are the only fun facts not explicitly mentioned in the original fic. everything else is real, I'm not making any of it up

And finally, some relevant memes and quotes:

VOTE HERE!

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Thoughts on the ship Rosalie/Bella?

While it’s a nice thought, sadly, I don’t think either Rosalie or Bella are what the other would ever seek in a partner.

Indeed, I think the other would be too close of a reminder to what they see in the worst of themselves. So, even in better circumstances, I don’t think they’d choose each other.

Let’s break that down.

What is Rosalie Looking For?

Rosalie’s past is one filled with brutal trauma, betrayal, and heartbreak. She has been violated by men in the worst of ways, betrayed by the man she thought would be her husband, and then has the surreal experience of being turned into something that, while alive, is not human.

She romanticizes the human life she could have had, clinging to it, never acknowledging that circumstances were such that she never would have had it.

Rosalie never was going to get that simple future of being a humble, good, simple man’s wife with beautiful children and a comfortable life. She was raised in society, uncommonly beautiful and charming, and was set to marry the wealthiest man she could. It might not have been Royce, she could have married a good man, but she would have married into this wealthy world and not ended up with someone like Emmett.

I think this is very telling.

For very understandable reasons, Rosalie has never confronted nor truly gotten over her trauma. Oh, she murdered her rapists and murderers, and put their deaths behind her, she married Emmett and has a (fairly) good relationship with him, but she hasn’t taken her full final steps to recovery.

I think this in part shows in her ending up with a guy like Emmett.

Emmett’s not bad, don’t get me wrong, but it’s very telling in what he loves of Rosalie and that Rosalie loves him for it.

He worships her beauty above all other things and is described as a very simple but pleasant and laidback guy. I think Rosalie is at the point where she wants to be worshipped, especially for the quality that was most valued in her human life, her beauty.

She wants to be with someone safe, someone who loves her, and that someone is definitely Emmett.

I think in the short run this works out very well for the pair of them and perhaps even in the long run. I think both could have chosen a better partner.

Rosalie is complicated, she’s not the shallow vain bitch Edward complains she is nor is she what Emmett seems to see her as. Emmett doesn’t really get his wife, or defend her all that much, he’s in love with her beautiful cheerleader persona. Rosalie, similarly, is in love with this man whose greatest attribute is his love of her. I’m sure there are moments she finds Emmett rather boorish and slow on the uptake.

What Do I Think Rosalie Needs?

To be honest, of all the characters where I raise my eyebrow at Meyer putting them with someone of the opposite gender, Rosalie’s one of the ones where they raise the highest.

Even Carlisle, when Rosalie drags in this man’s bleeding carcass, goes, “Oh, is this your cousin?” And has a “Him?!” moment when Rosalie explains this is her new husband.

I always would have expected, especially after her experiences, for Rosalie to be with a woman. That said, I do think her society’s prejudices and expectations would be a huge barrier for her and she’d have to do a lot of character growth before this would ever be possible. And I mean a lot of character growth, as in, Rosalie hasn’t reached this point even post Twilight saga.

Right, regardless of gender, I think Rosalie needs a partner who a) understands her b) does not value her looks c) accepts the good and the bad parts of her.

Like all of us, Rosalie is flawed. She’s a very impressive, down right intimidating, woman who has an iron clad will and gets what she wants. She has a deep love for her family and a great capacity for compassion. However, there are times when she’s the sixteen-year-old girl who has very much not escaped her society’s mindset. She fully advocates Bella Swan’s murder so the family won’t have to move, not realizing until Carlisle points it out that this is a heinous thing to do. Rosalie says vicious, racist, things to Jake likely never realizing exactly what it is she’s saying. She’s stubborn, proud, and as Edward put it a bit pig-headed.

Emmett tends to just go “Yeah, she’s a bitch, but she’s my bitch”. Which... great, thanks Emmett, that’s very helpful.

Bella Swan is Not That Person

Bella per the start of the series is a seventeen-year-old girl with cripplingly low self-esteem, huge parental issues, and a dangerous inclination towards depression.

Bella shows serious interest in women sexually (her relationship with Alice has some serious homoerotic undertones) but she’s also very intimidated by them. Rosalie, especially, makes Bella evaluate and feel worse about herself as she knows she will never be as beautiful as this teenage blonde goddess.

In other words, this Bella is not in a position to be the kind of person Rosalie needs. She’s too caught up in figuring out who she herself is, cares very much about Rosalie’s appearance and using it to compare against her own, and isn’t stable enough to be what Rosalie needs.

And by the end of canon... Well... Bella’s left the planet and will soon join Esme in being a hauntingly strange person entirely divorced from reality.

What if we’re in a slightly AU world?

Well, we’re banking on a lot of character development for Bella that I don’t believe can happen with Edward around. Either Bella shows interest in Edward or, well, he eats her. (No, seriously, this is canon, both Alice and Edward confirm as much.) 

And if the family packs up and leaves during New Moon and never comes back... Well, of all the people Bella might end up with after that, I think Rosalie might just be the least likely (not to mention Rosalie would not be down for hanging around Edward’s stupid human girlfriend).

What is Bella Looking For?

Bella’s looking for validation of her very self. She wants to be loved, more than that, she wants to be worth something.

Bella has such a low opinion of herself that, at this point in her life, she needs this feeling to come from elsewhere. She finds this in both Edward and Jacob.

And it doesn’t matter how scary they are (and both are, indeed, very scary towards her), it doesn’t matter what it is they value, just that they both seem to want her even though she’s a foolish, clumsy, pale, ugly, human, nobody, loser. 

That’s all Bella wants.

Edward’s a perfect storm in that he’s inhumanly perfect, beautiful beyond all comprehension, and completely obsessed with her. In Edward’s eyes, Bella is not just perfect, she’s fascinating.

And then, of course, she’s not and it utterly destroys her. 

Basically, Bella’s is a very sad life.

What Does Bella Need?

Bella needs time to grow up and find out who she is and how to value that.

Bella is your very typical teenage girl. She’s precocious, has a lot of issues growing up with her mom, but she has a lot of issues many teenage girls do have.

I think, before Bella can find a truly good partner, she needs to learn how to value herself.

This will be painful and take a lot of time. In New Moon, I think Jake actually sets her back as she uses him to find value in herself for her (essentially replacing Edward).

Only after Bella discovers who she is, reaffirms why she is important and worthy of love, can she find someone.

What does that person look like?

Well, it sure as fuck isn’t Vampire Patrick Bateman, otherwise known as Edward Cullen. Nor is it Jake Black who sexually assaults her, tells her to kiss him or he’ll kill himself, then tells her that her dying is pointless as it means he and Edward fought over nothing. 

It also isn’t Alice, who treats Bella a lot like she would a life-sized Barbie Doll rather than a friend and a human being.

I’m not sure who it is, to be honest.

Someone who recognizes who Bella is, certainly, the good and the bad. Someone who is able to... reconcile her with the world she truly lives in. Maybe, circumstances changing around a bit, it’s Carlisle Cullen? (Though that would certainly be a dumpster fire of divorce and despair with Edward and Esme) Maybe it’s Jasper (also a dumpster fire of divorce and despair with Edward and Alice)? 

I really have no idea here. Unlike Rosalie, I can’t even tell you what this person would need to be like.

What I do know is...

Rosalie is Not That Person

Just as Bella views Rosalie as a threat, as something to measure herself against and feel unworthy of in every way, Rosalie does the same.

Bella is a pretty human woman who captures Edward’s attention in a way she never can. Rosalie, at the time we start canon, for all her accomplishments and all she’s done is still insecure enough that she needs to be the prettiest woman in the room. 

Just as Bella’s not secure enough to be what Rosalie needs, Rosalie is not secure enough to be what Bella needs.

Rosalie also doesn’t see Bella for what she is. Rosalie sees, at first, a normal boring human teenager and dismisses her. She falls into the typical Cullen trap (for all but Carlisle) that they forget humans are people too. Later, Bella discounts Rosalie’s very earnest advice and Rosalie never forgives her for it. This is understandable, Rosalie lays her soul bare, but she forgets Bella’s a teenage girl and more can’t see what Bella herself is battling with.

Bella thinks being human is worthless because Bella thinks being Bella is worthless. Children and a human future mean nothing to her.

It would take a lot, A LOT, of character development for Rosalie to be someone that Bella needs in this situation and even then... Well, they’d have to deal with the horrifying shit show that is Edward. Because if Edward/Bella isn’t happening...

It’s lunch time.

TL;DR

I’d say pin your hopes on Alice/Bella, except that one’s not happening either for all that they do have their very homoerotic friendship.

[esmeraldablazingsky]

I’ve finally hit my limit on the number of bad takes on the Lan parents I can see before I have to lay out all the reasons I disagree, so hello, I’m Blazie, and in this essay I will justify my visceral dislike of the assumption that Qingheng-jun married/imprisoned/had sex with Lan-furen against her will.

    Warning for mentions of rape (in context of Interpretations I Really Hate) and a very, VERY long post below the cut.

    Before I start going off about the finer points of all this, I want to make sure people are on the same page regarding what we actually know about what went down with Qingheng-jun and Lan-furen. What I say is based off the EXR translation of MDZS, for the sake of clarity, and although I don’t think the exact wording should be too important, feel free to let me know if you think I’ve missed an important bit of nuance or something (the whole story is in Chapter 64.)

    The story we get is told by Lan Xichen, and it goes like this: a young Qingheng-jun falls in love at first sight with Lan-furen, who doesn’t return his feelings, and at some point kills one of Qingheng-jun’s teachers over unspecified “grievances.” Although he’s understandably very upset over the murder, Qingheng-jun sneaks Lan-furen back to Cloud Recesses and officially marries her in order to announce to his clan that anyone who wants to hurt her has to go through him.

After that, he locks Lan-furen in one house and himself in another as a form of repentance. Wei Wuxian speculates that this was because “he could neither forgive the one who killed his teacher nor watch the death of the woman who he loved. He could only marry her to protect her life and force himself not to see her.” 

    A central detail of this story that I think people don’t give the import it deserves is that aside from marrying and protecting her, Qingheng-jun’s other option was to let Lan-furen be executed by his clan. His purpose in marrying her wasn’t just for kicks/out of a possessive sort of love, it was so she wouldn’t straight up die. How she felt about this arrangement isn’t stated, but I’ll get into that in a bit. In addition to that, Qingheng-jun and Lan-furen live separately, which was apparently purposeful on Qingheng-jun’s part, and runs counter to the interpretation that he intended to take sexual advantage of Lan-furen.

Though there aren’t many concrete details in Lan Xichen’s retelling, he does specifically inform Wei Wuxian that his mother never complained about remaining in her house. What exactly this signifies is unclear— whether she was simply putting on a brave face for her sons, or whether she was in fact at all content with the situation— but it at the very least serves to further muddy the waters on how she and Qingheng-jun felt about all this. 

Beyond what Lan Xichen and Wei Wuxian are saying out loud, there’s also quite a bit of subtext in this scene, especially in light of later events and revelations, like Lan Xichen’s confession for Lan Wangji at Guanyin Temple. 

So what is Lan Xichen trying to convey with all this? There’s a lot of memes about this scene, most of which err too far on the side of Himbo Airhead Lan Xichen for my liking, but one that I do find amusing emphasizes how Lan Xichen draws parallels between Wangxian and the story of his parents (Lan Xichen: [flute solo] please use your one brain cell to connect the dots.) If Wei Wuxian hadn’t completely lost his memory of Lan Wangji defending him against his own clan elders, one would assume that Lan Xichen’s story would have had a much better chance of hitting home. 

In hindsight and side by side, the parallels are much clearer— Qingheng-jun, “ignoring the objections from his clan… told everyone in the clan that she would be his wife for the rest of his life, that whoever wanted to harm her would have to pass through him first.” Similarly, according to Lan Xichen in Chapter 99, “for [Wei Wuxian,] not only did WangJi talk back to him, he even met with his sword the cultivators from the GusuLan Sect. He heavily injured all thirty-three of the seniors we asked to come.”

In that context, it makes a lot less sense to interpret Qingheng-jun as an aggressor towards Lan-furen, as in Lan Wangji’s case, the narrative clearly establishes that his actions are to secure Wei Wuxian’s safety. The action of Taking Someone Back To Cloud Recesses is— okay, actually, it’s a little more nuanced than I took into account when I started writing that sentence, so let me go a little deeper into Lan Wangji’s actions and how they relate to his father’s, story-wise. 

My intent is not to dive into the terrifying underworld of novel-versus-drama discourse, but simply put, Novel!Lan Wangji as he is written isn’t exactly the poster child for clear consent. (I’m going to entirely leave off the extra chapters for the sake of everyone’s sanity, so I’m just talking about the main body of the novel here.)

He means well, and I’m sure we can agree that he does actually love and want the best for Wei Wuxian, but his lack of communication on this point means that he accidentally gives Wei Wuxian the impression that he wants to imprison and/or punish him in Cloud Recesses at least twice off the top of my head (pre-timeskip, as we know, and post-timeskip immediately after Dafan Mountain when he actually drags Wei Wuxian back to his room.) 

That all likely has something to do with MXTX’s narrative kinks and regular kinks and all that, and can absolutely be taken with many grains of salt. However, these events establish how easy it is to misinterpret the action of Taking Someone Back To Gusu as an attempt to imprison rather than protect them (much to Lan Wangji’s chagrin.)

Failing to communicate his purpose to Wei Wuxian doesn’t mean that Lan Wangji actually had any intent of hurting or caging him— that was just a misinterpretation on Wei Wuxian’s part, and we, as the audience, find that out in due time— but as written in the novel, it can be really uncomfortable to read. Because of that, many people choose to accept CQL canon regarding Lan Wangji’s more possessive actions or mix characterization from different adaptations, which, to be clear, I completely understand and respect. 

However, Qingheng-jun doesn’t get the benefit of the doubt as often, which I frankly find baffling, because nowhere in the text does it state that Lan-furen objected to being taken back to Cloud Recesses, while even Wei Wuxian clearly objected the first few times. In fact, while we’re on this note, I’ll take it a step farther— I find it baffling that people seem to default to an unsympathetic view of Qingheng-jun, because nowhere in the text does it state that he overruled Lan-furen’s wishes in any way. The text doesn’t clarify a lot of things, actually, and that is part of the point. 

The narrators of MDZS are, in many situations, highly unreliable. This is, presumably, very purposeful! MDZS can easily be read as a sharp criticism of reputation and mass judgment and the concept of condemning people without knowing their motives! And I don’t want to sound mean, but guys… did any of us learn anything from that? Here, I’m going to put it in meme format for a second to convey what I mean. 

MDZS: It’s easy to condemn someone as a villain if you don’t know their story or the reasons behind their actions

MDZS: Anyway, here’s a character whose story and reasons behind his actions you know nothing about

Some Parts Of This Fandom: Ah, a villain 

    Memes aside, here’s what I want to point out. It’s entirely possible to assume Qingheng-jun was a bad person who disregarded a woman’s wishes in marrying and confining her when all you have is Lan Xichen’s (actually very neutral, thank you Lan Xichen for being an eminently reasonable and concerned-with-evidence character) account of what happened. It would also be at least that easy to assume Wei Wuxian was just an evil necromancer if he hadn’t un-died and brought his own story to light, or even to believe that Lan Wangji had somehow tamed Wei Wuxian into submission and being a respectable cultivator if you were an average citizen of Fantasy Ancient China with nothing but rumors to operate on. 

    The thing about Qingheng-jun and Lan-furen’s story, then, is that there is nobody left alive who knows the full tale. Nobody knows what they thought about anything, really. Nobody even knows why Lan-furen killed Qingheng-jun’s teacher. Wei Wuxian asks why, and Lan Xichen can’t tell him, but I think the best answer would be something along the lines of I don’t know, Wei Wuxian, why did you kill people? Your guess on the motivations of your own thinly disguised narrative parallel are as good as anyone’s. 

    So, while it’s not technically impossible to assign darker motives to Qingheng-jun, the cautionary tale of MDZS seems to warn against that exact assumption. 

    I’ve refrained from getting too salty on a personal level thus far, but now that I’ve said a lot of the more logical and story-based points of my argument, I will say that at least some of my annoyance with the interpretation of Qingheng-jun as a possessive rapist and Lan-furen as his victim stems from the fact that I just think it’s straight up boring. Where’s the nuance? Aren’t you tired of reducing these characters to the flattest possible versions of themselves? Don’t you just want to add a little flavor? 

    In a slightly more serious phrasing of that criticism, I find that making Lan-furen a helpless prisoner strips her of whatever agency she might otherwise have. To be fair, she’s more or less a non-character in keeping with the general state of the MDZS universe, but making her a damsel in distress only consigns her more deeply to hapless, milquetoast innocence. 

    It’s perfectly valid to enjoy ladies who have done nothing wrong, ever, in their lives, but like… Qin Su is right there, if that’s your ball game. There’s also really no need to make Qingheng-jun someone who doesn’t respect women. Isn’t Jin Guangshan enough for at least one universe? 

    Anyway, ultimately, you do you. I don’t like arguing on the internet, and will just ignore things I don’t agree with (or write an 1800 word vaguepost) like a mature human being. I’m just saying, if it’s a cut and dry tale of imprisonment and assault you’re looking for… you probably don’t want to turn to a woman who committed a murder and a man who loved her enough to forfeit everything to keep her safe. 

[cowardtranslation]

Making LND Depressing for Everyone Else

In the original Phantom, Raoul is the loyal, loving, non-murderous choice for Christine, a true himbo, at least depending on the portrayal. But that's the version most fans like best!! He has his stupid moments, but he also has his endearingly adoring and caring moments. His character in the show is designed to love and be lovable.

During the events of LND, Raoul is imported from the original show a complete shadow of his former self. The man characterized by the pureness of his love for Christine is now an alcoholic, deep in gambling and drinking debt. He's been cut off financially from his family back in France and nearing being cut off physically by his close family due to his addictions overwhelming his life. His relationship with Christine and Gustave is rife with miscommunication and lack of communication altogether.

Please note that I'm not a psychiatrist by any means and I have no qualifications to diagnose (even if these are fictional characters), but in LND, Raoul is showing multiple signs of depression.

He's irritable. He's seemingly lost interest in music despite becoming a patron of an opera house, and feels as if he doesn't or can't love Christine. He's pessimistic about their situation, and hopeless that their situation can improve. And of course, he's taken up alcohol abuse and high risk gambling behavior to the point that he is in massive debt. But he's still Raoul. He wasn't changed enough to completely negate his character, he's just become depressed. He still shows signs that he loves Christine and Gustave, but just feels completely unworthy, or uncaring, of their love in return. At some points it seems like he doesn't even think Gustave likes him at all.

It's been canon-adjacent that Raoul knew Gustave was the Phantom's son, not his, further causing him to feel as though his relationship with Christine is a failure.

All of it begins to culminate in Act 2. After intermission, we see Raoul drinking heavily in a bar that, in the West End version at least, was located at Suicide Hall, literally named for being the place people go to step off the pier. The bartender remarks that Raoul looks to be in "a bad state," "worse than most that wind up here." Raoul has an entire number about how he's undeserving of Christine's love, how he feels like he's only dragging her down, and that he wishes to "leave the hurt behind."

Then the Phantom shows up. Erik brings up Raoul's inability to care for his family, no doubt only exacerbating his mental health. Then they get into the drunken bet. Raoul is heavily intoxicated and unstable. Despite his feelings of worthlessness, Raoul insists that Christine still loves him enough to trust him to get them out of this child kidnapper's grasp. And he still loves her, so much so that both he and the Phantom sing that Raoul is playing "for his life."

When the time comes for Raoul to attempt winning Christine over in her dressing room, he admits that he's been a terrible person due to his problems. He straight up says that he's been denying his family what they need, that there's something wrong with him. He says that his family needs the man he once was. That if he can get help, he can try to be that man again. If the Phantom removed the unbearable burden of debt, he might've actually been able to afford medical help to fulfill that promise(if any was available in the period). Of course there's the whole "why didn't he just tell her about the bet" thing but I blame biased writing for that.

She sings, and Raoul has lost her. It's an ultimate rejection and Christine doesn't even know it.

Back in the dressing room, Christine reads Raoul's note with legitimate concern. In the note, Raoul begs her forgiveness. He still refers to her as his wife, but never mentions divorce in the note, despite the fact that he "must go" away. It almost reads like a suicide note.

Raoul is not there when Christine is shot, but was apparently close enough to the pier that Gustave could retrieve him relatively quickly. Raoul was not there when she died, and just like that, he's lost her twice. The Phantom is implied to take Gustave, and if ALW gets his way, Raoul is likely left alone with Christine's body, his son not needing him, his family hating him, severe debts he cannot pay, and likely, terrible thoughts in his head. Remember that cuddly guy whose character was designed to love and be loved?

Raoul's character during LND is implied to be a drunken, snobby aristocrat. He's depressed. Webber tries to paint him as abusive. He writes him as depressed. The Phantom, who literally threatened to kidnap/kill her child, is now the good choice because Raoul can't get his shit together. He's depressed. And no one will just COMMUNICATE

This is a shitty ending, Webber. Fuck you

thanks for coming to my ted talk

[mermaidsirennikita]

I know I'm pretty late with this but I just want to thank you for all the no-bullshit answers over Siena stans. At first I was actually pretty sympathetic towards them and could understand people being weird about her because she's fucking Anthony, but the blatant tone-deaf comparisons between her and ANY of the black characters, only being interested in Simon as a character when Siena should fuck him because Anthony "needs to suffer ;)" or when he refers to his affair with her OR acting like shipping the only two black characters that are male and female on the show is somehow them being better than any of the other fans while deliberately ignoring Kate being a dark-skinned Indian woman now and the context that could likely come with that, not to mention the insane notion that somehow, a white woman like Siena suffers JUST AS MUCH AND EVEN MORE as these black characters who we see suffer 10 times more on this show just broke the camel's back to me. Like complaining about ~classism and comparing it to racist writing while erasing a woc and placing Siena as some would-be daughter of her parents (which in this context would literally be them wanting Indian immigrants to care for a British white woman in the 19th century....) is not y'all being Aware, it's being blatantly tone-deaf and racist. No amount of "you guys just hate sex workers :,(" is gonna erase this. I hate how they think they're being So Smart with calling out the classism issues in the show while conveniently buying into the bullshit "~racism doesn't exist anymore sweeties~" argument that the narrative TRIED to sell to us while at the same time having some obvious issues with the characters of color and how they're focused on and even framed against the white ones. And even now, thinking that them obsessing over this white female character and considering it them being Different and Better than the rest of the fans? Nah y'all are just being terrible at this point. It's only gonna get worse once season 2 comes out and they'll only enforce the whole "~racism doesn't exist sweeties~" excuse in order to be blatantly racist in any of the Kate hate and comparisons they'll likely make in order to tear her down as a love interest and wife to Anthony in order to prop their white fave up. No matter how much they wanna pretend otherwise, Siena's role as a sex worker doesn't erase the fact that she's a conveniently attractive white thin woman that fans will sooner flock to ship with Anthony than with Kate now, given the casting.

One final complaint, but I also find it ironic how they wanna pretend that Kate is apparently gonna be some carbon-copy of Siena just because her character description and moments with Anthony will include her 'calling him out on his bs'. As if the book where she is a legitimate character didn't exist a full DECADE before Siena was created. Literally all the specific traits for their fave can be traced back to Kate and how they were sooner inspired BY Kate as a character in creating Siena than the other way around. Like calling Anthony out on his shit? Anthony having a thing for her hair? Those are canon stuff in the book where Kate is introduced. Their fave is neither original nor going to be the Staple for Kate, but they'll never admit this.

Sorry it’s taken me a moment to respond, I wanted to give this my attention and I’ve had an exceptionally busy week.

I agree with all of this.  To be honest, a lot of the obsession with Siena seems rooted in deep-seated racism and a preference for the precious white woman.  They are using the show to back this up, as you said, because the show handled race horribly.  But because the show handled race horribly and has widely been criticized by people of color on that front, it just reinforces my perception of the most intense stans as like.... deeply racist.  Coupled, of course, with the idea that Kate’s family would LOOOOOVEEEEEEE PORCELAIN SKINNED SIENA!!!!  WHOSE SKIN WE LOVE!!!!!  MILKY WHITE BABES!!!!  

These people of color, from Kate’s family (who by the way, most of these stans get wrong because they haven’t read the source material--I see a lot of references to Kate’s alive parents which uhhhhhhh not only are they both dead but they’re both dead in a PLOT IMPORTANT WAY lmao) to Simon to Kate herself are only used to prop up Siena.  Simon is used to make Anthony jealous, because to many white women watching this show, some supposed Simon/Daphne stans included, Simon does not exist as anything other than a sex object because he’s a hot black man.  Simon is literally reduced to a virtual sex toy or figure of animalistic sexual desire by so many people who watch this show, it’s INSANELY gross.  Called out for racism?  But we ship Simon and Marina together, so we can’t beeee!!!

I do disagree with you a bit on Siena’s personality, largely because I didn’t.... see much of one.  I don’t think the writers intentionally took anything from Kate there, I think they just were like “ah yes, a low-class sex worker, she’s gonna say ‘ell guvna fancy a fuck luv” but also argue with him because we can’t think of anything else for her to do or any other way to mine humor out of her.  

I also see a lot of conflation of racism and classism by these people, and... no.  Regardless of your class, if you are a person of color in the western world, you have probably experienced racism.  I mean, fuck, we just saw an entire expose about how you can enter the royal family in England and experience intense racism.  Regardless of whether or not Siena is lower class, she will never experience the type of adversity that people experience with racism.  There’s this desperate attempt to pretend that what Siena experiences is the same as racism, which is clearly an attempt to make an excuse to dog Kate.

But ultimately tbh none of this matters in terms of what will be ON THE SHOW (editing to clarify: of course it matters in terms of what it reflects re: racism and how harmful it is to people of color who have to see it).  Season 2 is going to happen.  I’ll hedge my bets now that it’ll be wildly popular.  Kate will be loved by the vast majority of people watching.  These people will have even less content than they do now and they’ll show their asses even more and get dog piled on or fade away.  Kate and Anthony are about as canon as it gets.  Anthony canonically says that she’s the best he’s ever had lmao, she is the love of his life, he marries her and she pops out several babies for him.  So I’m just getting ready to drink my Kate Sharma Stan Juice when that season releases, because racists are gonna be racist especially when they have a white woman to worship.  But I know what I know.

[a-secret-bolton-vampire]

Young Griff, Part 1: The Pisswater Prince

So, I know I haven't done a super deep dive in a while. I kinda got stuck, then binged Sense8, The OA, The Americans, and Dark. It just got hard to write, and I feel into a bit of depression. But I finally managed to complete this, something I've wanted to write about for a very long time. This is part of the Daenerys essays, but the main focus is not on her, but rather the enigmatic Young Griff who appears in ADWD. As he was never seen on the TV show, we have little to no idea of what his future holds. Personally, of all the characters cut from the show, I most wish they kept Young Griff, because his presence is quite interesting. The fandom (and the in-world characters) are highly skeptical of his identity, and think he is destined for major things in the future of the story.

There is no doubt his existence is tied heavily to Daenerys's storyline, although perhaps not the way that is often recognized. This was originally going to just be one long essay, but I uncovered more and more that I found compelling enough to write, and so it became split into two parts. The first part will be about Aegon's role in the story; his identity, what he represents, why he is here. The second part will be about Aegon's future; his next moves in the Stormlands, possible allies, and how he might meet his end.

The Dubious Prince

What's curious is that apparently, Aegon's return has been considered by GRRM for quite a while. A mere 2 days before the publishing of ASOS, in 2000, GRRM was asked a question by a fan:

Fan: I was wondering if you could answer (or take the "fifth") one teeny little question I've been dying to ask for the past year: Are Aegon and Rhaenys, Elia's children, well and truly dead? GRRM: All I have to say is that there is absolutely no doubt that little Princess Rhaenys was dragged from beneath her father's bed and slain.

And then when ADWD is published in 2011, it is revealed that in fact, Aegon isn't dead, but secretly alive. This is something that was actually rumoured in Westeros, according to this entry of Aegon VI in A World of Ice and Fire app:

Rumors persist, however, that it was not truly Aegon who was killed, but some other infant, and that Aegon has been taken away to safety.

Aegon literally tells Tyrion the story of how he was whisked away to safety:

"That was not me. I told you. That was some tanner's son from Pisswater Bend whose mother died birthing him. His father sold him to Lord Varys for a jug of Arbor gold. He had other sons but had never tasted Arbor gold. Varys gave the Pisswater boy to my lady mother and carried me away."

It's certainly a great story, that Aegon return from the dead, living in Essos waiting for the chance to take back his birthright. The fact Aegon is still alive is truly a miracle... but is he? Is this young boy who purports to be Aegon really Prince Aegon, son of Prince Rhaegar and Princess Elia? One of the most pervasive fan theories is that Aegon isn't a Targaryen at all, but secretly a Blackfyre, descended from the Targaryen bastard Daemon Blackfyre who rebelled and tried to become king (the Blackfyres are still Targaryens but don't tell them that).

It's such a popular theory that it is considered all but canon, as much as R+L=J is. Now, time for me to commit heresy: I do not buy this theory at all.

For those not in the know, some have pointed out potential circumstantial evidence of Aegon being a Blackfyre; he's supported by the Golden Company, a sellsword company that was made for the Blackfyres and ruled by them until Maelys died on the Stepstones. Dany sees a vision of a cloth dragon swaying on a pole in the House of the Undying, as the Undying call her the "slayer of lies". There is mention of Maelys being the end of male line of House Blackfyre, but no mention of what happened to the female line. There is a story about an inn that had a black dragon made of iron symbolizing the Blackfyres, and after Lord Darry (a Targaryen supporter in the Blackfyre rebellions) took it off, cut it apart, and threw it into the river, one piece showed up years later on the Quiet Isle, having reddened with rust (potentially symbolizing a Blackfyre returning disguised as a Targaryen). Illyrio is oddly emotional when talking about Aegon. Plus the entirety of the Pisswater Prince story sounds really out there and unlikely.

At first glance, I found this theory really compelling. There is all this subtext and reading behind the lines that you didn't see before, and on some level it makes some sense. Why introduce another secret Targaryen in book 5 out of 7 (8)? It also fits neatly with another theory I will talk about more in depth later. However, while it isn't a theory I think is necessarily 100% inaccurate and completely out there, I think it doesn't account for alternatives, and ultimately is an unnecessary plot twist.

The support of the Golden Company isn't all that suspect when you consider just what's been happening since Maelys died. The male line of House Blackfyre is over (who knows what happened to the female line), the Blackfyres no longer rule the Golden Company, they are gone. The Golden Company was also founded by Westerosi exiles who fled Westeros and supported the Blackfyres. The fact the Golden Company broke its contract with Myr and that "some contracts are writ in blood" more has to do with the fact that these people are mostly descendants of Westerosi exiles and want to return home. The idea of the Golden Company wasn't really to be a permanent thing, it was meant to be a means through which the Blackfyres had support when they invaded again, and when the Blackfyres were installed, those exiled lords would get their lost lands back.

With the Blackfyre cause gone, the only thing left for the Golden Company is home. And that's exactly what Aegon is giving them, regardless of him being Targaryen. The slayer of lies visions are implying Daenerys is going to be confronting people who are in some way not true. Stannis (who is the first vision) is not Azor Ahai. This probably means that the cloth dragon represents a fake Targaryen, and in comes Aegon, out of nowhere! The first issue I have is that the vision has to be literal. Prophecies are very tricky, and the House of the Undying prophecies are extremely finicky. What does slayer of lies mean? Does it mean she literally kills the lies? Is it more metaphorical that she exposes people to the truth? And if Aegon really is a true Targaryen, then why is he the mummer's dragon and considered a lie to slay?

Disregarding the fact Varys was a mummer and he is working for Aegon, even if Aegon is a Targaryen, it's very obvious that they need to do a lot to convince people he is one. He has to play the part of Rhaegar's son, because everyone thinks he is dead. Meanwhile, Daenerys has to do literally nothing of the sort, because she has dragons. She embodies what it means to be a Targaryen, she is about to embrace her house words. As Illyrio tells Tyrion, Daenerys is a true Targaryen. But Aegon doesn't have dragons, so he needs to play up his Targness in some other way. Rhaegar was called the Last Dragon. Viserys called himself a Dragon. Aegon is about to try to take Rhaegar's place. But neither Rhaegar, Viserys, or Aegon are the Last Dragon; Daenerys is, and the lie is that he is the last dragon, and that Dany's existence itself is the way she slays the lie. As Dany thinks to herself after Viserys dies, "fire cannot kill a dragon".

Look at Aegon being someone piggybacking off words and looks for his claims. Meanwhile, Daenerys has all the proof one needs. I think the vision is much more esoteric than literal. While Varys's story is suspect and even Tyrion finds it unbelievable, it's not entirely impossible. Hell, Mance Rayder climbed the Wall and went to Winterfell in disguise as a bard twice. It makes sense for Varys to take away Aegon and replace him with another child during Robert's rebellion, when things were going badly for the Targaryens and plans had to be made in case the worst came to worst.

Another popular interpretation is that Illyrio and his wife Serra are Aegon's real son, but I find this to be incredibly flawed. Not only does Serra not really look much like a Targaryen (blue eyes instead of purple), but Illyrio's somewhat emotional confession that he can't see Aegon before he drops Tyrion off doesn't mean he is the boys father. The idea that you need to be someones parent in order to have a strong connection completely holds disregard for other kinds of relationships. Aegon is implied to have been raised for at least a bit in Pentos. Illyrio probably felt some affection for him and genuinely enjoyed his company.

To me, however, it's not really the alternative explanations for the evidence of a Blackfyre conspiracy that convince me Aegon is in fact Rhaegar's son. It's rather simple; what's the point of yet another secret identity plot twist? Consider how we meet Aegon. We meet him through Tyrion's POV in his third chapter, under the guise of the son of a sellsword named Griff, called Young Griff, his hair dyed blue in honour of his dead Tyroshi mother. Tyrion is immediately suspicious, but he's not entirely sure what's going on. We then get two more chapters of him aboard the Shy Maid, and during that time we are meant to be a little confused and unsure what is going on. It's a mystery of why Tyrion is on this boat and who these people are.

By the third chapter of Tyrion on the Shy Maid, the mystery is finally lifted, and all is revealed; Griff isn't Griff, he's Jon Connington, an exiled lord thought to have drunken himself to death. And Young Griff isn't his son; he's Prince Rhaegar's son Aegon, who was thought to have been killed by the Mountain in Robert's Rebellion. I think it's important to remember that it isn't just Aegon who is thought to be dead. JonCon is considered dead too! Two dead people aboard a boat plotting to retake Westeros. We already had a mystery handed to us, and the plot twist was already revealed. Another thing to consider is how thematically and symbolically important the journey down the Rhoyne is for Aegon. To me I think it makes a lot of sense for Rhaegar and Elia's son to be on the Rhoyne, especially since there is a lot of evidence that he and Dorne will eventually ally.

It's also important to remember that apart from a very few sly people, Aegon being secretly alive wasn't even a possibility on most peoples radar. It truly was something that came out of nowhere. While that can be used as a marker against him being Rhaegar's son, with the complaints of such a large character being revealed so late with seemingly no forewarning, I think that's honestly sort of the point.

Aegon's existence is already so large of a twist that it feels awkward to then put in another plot twist that he's actually a Blackfyre, something that really only has significance to the people who have read the Dunk & Egg novellas and know the history of Westeros very well. Although not entirely the same, it reminds me of "the Others are actually morally grey/the good guys" theories, which are in a similar vein of "George is always subversive and this is classic George". However, while the text does sort of lend credence to this theory being at the very most plausible, I feel it's ultimately an unnecessary plot twist built upon another seemingly unnecessary plot twist to try to justify his late entry and/or his significance (as can be noted, I detest calling him fAegon). The plot for Aegon isn't to be uncovered as this secret conspiracy of another ultra-double secret identity, it's about what his existence does to change the story.

Young Griff, Daenerys Stormborn, and Jon Snow

A large part of why the Blackfyre conspiracy theory is so popular is that it actually does have a compelling narrative link to the series. It's a simple progression; there are hints at a second Dance of the Dragons, vision of a mummer's dragon, a fake Targaryen, boom, Dany and Aegon fight. Dany thinks her claim is the best, but then someone appears who has an even better claim, and she fights thinking there's no possible way he could be real. It's an easy to follow trajectory. As always, people are welcome to disagree with my interpretation, but I think there is a far better reason for Aegon's role in the story; he's more foreshadowing for R+L=J.

For certain, there's more to him than just that, but I think this is something that simply cannot be ignored. He's another Targaryen. Yeah, it's kind of a meme to say X is a secret Targaryen, but I actually see the logic in why GRRM did this. Jon Snow is the son of Rhaegar and Lyanna, and most likely is a trueborn prince. He is the one destined to have an extremely significant relationship with Daenerys. I plan to eventually write an essay on how R+L=J effects the characters and story by itself, but for preface; I don't buy that R+L=J is there just to make Jon have an identity crisis. Something as significant as that is going to have a lot of consequences and reasons to be around, some more than others. I do think there will be people who will learn the truth and at the very least, some people will believe it.

This is where Aegon's appearance becomes more significant. Here is a Targaryen people had no idea even existed, let alone was still alive. It kinda opens the floodgates for the world to question what is known about Robert's Rebellion. It also serves as precedent for the reveal that Jon Snow reveal. One Targaryen we didn't know existed is suddenly here. Is there another nearby? You can't simplify such a complex plot quite that easily of course, but I think it's significant to think about how the Young Griff twist applies to the story as a whole, and specifically RLJ. George maybe thought of this as the initial purpose for Young Griff, but as per usual, he definitely has other reasons to exist.

In fact, Aegon is a perfect foil for Jon Snow. Both are the son of Rhaegar, both are disguised as someone else, both are thrusted into a leadership position at a young age. However, Jon is unaware of his true parentage, while Aegon is. Jon is reluctant to embrace his identity in general (especially as lord commander) while Aegon is embracing his identity to his fullest extent. In a way, Aegon represents what Jon's life could have become in a parallel world. Instead of being taken as Ned's bastard to Winterfell, he is educated and taught his role and origin in Essos as plotting begins for retaking Westeros. Aegon is literally parallel universe Jon Snow.

Aegon is also a foil for Daenerys (who in turn is a parallel to Jon Snow). Daenerys grew up poor, constantly visiting nobles in the Free Cities but never getting anything in return. She was sold as a marital slave to Drogo. Her brother resented and abused her, and anything she learned she learned from Viserys, who was very unreliable. Yet she climbs up and becomes an incredibly powerful figure, and is now one of the most powerful people in the world. In contrast, Aegon was always protected, given safety, care, education, train at arms. In fact, it might be accurate to say that Aegon is actually spoiled. His interaction with Tyrion while playing cyvasse is a good indication of this. After Tyrion defeats Aegon when he follows the bad advice he gave him (making a point to not always trust people), this happens;

Young Griff jerked to his feet and kicked over the board. Cyvasse pieces flew in all directions, bouncing and rolling across the deck of the Shy Maid. "Pick those up," the boy commanded.

This is quite an extreme reaction. It even reminds Tyrion of Joffrey, and I have to agree this is a very petulant, Joffrey-like outburst. I don't believe Aegon is really anything like Joffrey, but both kids were pretty spoiled and given so much safety and care that when things don't go their way they get upset. Aegon is used to having everything given to him, and Tyrion is the first to show that he won't always win. In contrast, Daenerys has suffered some pretty severe losses; Rhaego, Drogo's khalasar, Drogo, Jorah's betrayal, etc. I have a hard time seeing Daenerys react so badly to this the way Aegon did. It also casts doubt on the speech Varys gave to Kevan as he dies that Aegon was molded to be this perfect king. He may have been raised to be that way, but the opposite might be true instead.

In fact, this might really be the true crux and core of Aegon's storyline. He's touted as the rightful king, this perfect prince who has been taught everything he needs, ready to be this hero who returns to Westeros to reclaim the throne. But Aegon is a deconstruction of that trope. He seems to have everything going for him, and is touted as this great king, but the truth is he remains relatively untested. All the privilege he has been given has only made him spoiled. The game of cyvasse he and Tyrion play is a lot more significant than I think it is given credit for, but that will be saved for part two when I go in depth about his future.

Of course, there has been a lot of pushback against the idea that Aegon is spoiled and that he's no different from Jon and Dany and that it should be expected he react like that to losing cyvasse at his age. While the cyvasse outburst doesn't mean he is going to be evil or anything, I think the context about this is important, and there is a lot more stuff I think hints that Aegon is not really the prince Varys believes him to be. Again, this will be saved for part two.

The Dragons Will Dance Again

In 2003, a fan asked George:

Hi, short question. Will we find out more about the Dance of the Dragons in future books? GRRM: The first dance or the second? The second will be the subject of a book. The first will be mentioned from time to time, I'm sure.

This is further supported by a quote by Teora Toland in the first Arianne sample chapter for TWOW:

"It is dragons." "Dragons?" said her mother. "Teora, don't be mad." "I'm not. They're coming." "How could you possibly know that?" her sister asked, with a note of scorn in her voice. "One of your little dreams?" Teora gave a tiny nod, chin trembling. "They were dancing. In my dream. And everywhere the dragons danced the people died."

The use of the language of dragons dancing is very noteworthy, and when connected with the SSM show in-text hints that a second Dance is indeed going to happen. Various theories include that this refers to Jon vs. Dany, Dany vs. Euron, Dany vs. Aegon, or Jon vs. Aegon. The most common theory in the fandom is Dany vs. Aegon, with Dany believing Aegon to be a fake Targaryen and refusing to acknowledge his claim to the throne. Instead of facing Cersei as in the show, Daenerys will face Aegon.

The extension of this theory is that Dorne will ally with Aegon, with an ambitious Arianne marrying Aegon, and a burnt toast Quentyn showing Daenerys's rejection, turning Dorne against Daenerys. When Daenerys invades Westeros, Aegon is to be the perfect prince while Dany plays the role of the evil Mad King's daughter. In retaliation of Dorne siding with a false Targaryen instead of a true Targaryen, Dany will burn the Water Gardens. On a narrative level it kinda does make a lot of sense. In the first Areo chapter, Doran mentions that the blood oranges are well past ripe. He has waited for his vengeance for 17 years, because he's so careful about the cost, but in the end all that waiting will do him in and the second Daenerys will burn the Water Gardens that were built for the first Daenerys.

There is just a slight problem... someone talked about the theory that Daenerys will burn the Water Gardens in the comment section of a NotABlog post, and GRRM very quickly shut it down by saying "the Water Gardens bit... uh no". Not that we needed GRRM to debunk this tired theory, it didn't make much sense in the first place since the Water Gardens hold no strategic value and burning it would mean Daenerys has to do it for no reason other than needless cruelty.

The bigger issue I have is that of Dany and Aegon even fighting in the first place. Despite everything, what a "second Dance of the Dragons" even means is incredibly vague. A Targaryen succession crisis? A Targ succession crisis leading to war? A Targaryen man fighting a Targaryen woman? Does it need to be on the same scale as the original Dance? We have no context other than this and it could mean literally anything. What's more, there is a very often overlooked SSM that kinda puts the dampers on this theory a bit;

The second Dance of Dragons does not have to mean Dany's invasion. Geroge stopped himself short and said he shouldn't say anymore. The response came because of my question of whether the dance would take place in ADWD because AFFC and ADWD parallel.

We will definitely see more of Aegon in TWOW, and we'll probably get to know him better. I'm not going to argue that Aegon appearing in book 5 of 7 is bad writing, because I don't think it necessarily is. Perhaps he won't be as major a character as the fandom believes him to be. However, if Daenerys and Aegon are going to clash, there needs to be time for the characters to interact and establish any sort of relationship. I think the idea that Dany hears of Aegon's existence and immediately thinks he is a fake and goes to war with him completely disregards both Dany's character and how you establish a tragic event like this.

The first Dance of the Dragons was not something that happened on a whim. It was the result of decades of hatred built towards two factions. They weren't always antagonistic to each other, but as the years passed, the blacks and the greens grew to hate each other more and more and more until it took the death of the king that kept them at bay to start a devastating war. Dany declaring Aegon a fake without ever having met him and going to war with him is incredibly simplistic. Also, think about it from Dany's perspective.

Viserys was an abusive asshole to her, yet she still thinks about him and even feels lonely. It's natural to want to have a family and someone to feel close with. Dany is warned about the mummer's dragon, yes, but she is also lonely and thinks all her family is dead, that she is alone in the world. So what would really happen if she learned Aegon existed? For sure there would be intense skepticism, but I think there is a part of her that will at the very least want to believe it to be true. Daenerys is very ambitious yes, but I don't think she would simply refuse to believe someone is her nephew because that means he has a better claim to the throne.

Besides, kinslaying is a huge taboo, and killing someone who claims to be her nephew without being sure is definitely going to not be the best option in her mind. And also, Aegon hasn't done anything yet to earn Dany's resentment, unlike Viserys. There might be some anger at Illyrio, some serious shock, denial even, but at the end of the day, this is one more family member she didn't know she even had. The show portrayed Jon's parentage as being a bad thing for her since he would have a better claim, but I doubt that will be the first thing on Dany's mind. In fact, she thinks to herself what would happen if Aegon was alive:

Five Aegons had ruled the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros. There would have been a sixth, but the Usurper's dogs had murdered her brother's son when he was still a babe at the breast. If he had lived, I might have married him.

There is a good chance that the emotions she feels when learning about Aegon will be a precursor to the R+L=J reveal with Jon Snow. Just more reason Aegon is a big step towards R+L=J being confirmed.

Although Daenerys is quite ready to leave Slaver's Bay for Westeros at the end of ADWD, Aegon's existence might motivate her to leave even more quickly and solidify her goal to get the Iron Throne. However, I don't think that Aegon is going to become a new main character. His appearance and his actions I feel are more important than his actual character. And hey, maybe the second Dance will involved Daenerys and Aegon, but I think there is enough reason to doubt it.

Next up; the Golden Company landing, Dorne, and Aegon's game of cyvasse, detailed.

[snowbellewells]

“Over the Realms and Through the Woods, to Arendelle We Go”

A @cssecretsanta2k19​ gift for @xhookswenchx​

“Over the Realms and Through the Woods, to Arendelle We Go”

By: @snowbellewells​

This is my belated @cssecretsanta2k19​ gift for @xhookswenchx​ ~ and I truly am sorry for making you wait extra days, Lovely. It was such a busy December, then I traveled home, had family engagements, and so on.  But talking with you and learning different things about the show and the holidays that you enjoyed, put this idea in my head early. I just needed the time to write it down.  I have very much enjoyed being your Secret Santa.  I hope that your Christmas was Merry, that you will have a Happy and Blessed New Year. Please enjoy this story gift just for you!

Summary: Emma and Killian take their crew on a holiday road trip to visit old friends and make new Christmas memories…   A CS canon divergent in which the realms have been joined as they were in Season 7’s finale, but Henry has not left the Land Without Magic as he did in Season 7.  I always imagined him going out into the non-magical world for college, to write books, and so on (at least once it became clear they weren’t all going to make a permanent move back to the Enchanted Forest).  So for the purposes of this fic, he is home for the holidays from college, and Emma and Killian also have two little ones of their own. I used the daughter of my fictional invention, Morgan Ruth Jones, rather than Hope.  She’s appeared in some of my other fics, and I’m kinda attached to her.  I’ve gathered you enjoy original CS kids in your writing and reading as well, so I hope you won’t mind that liberty taken. I know that Westley Graham is not as completely original as I thought it was when I dreamed it up, but I love it too (especially since the show gave us so many Liams to keep track of already without naming a son of Emma and Killian’s Liam David as I once would have done).  Westley for the character in “Princess Bride” (‘As you wish’ makes that seem appropriate) and Graham for the hero they should have been naming baby boys after in canon.  You also said you really enjoyed the “Frozen” characters in 4a, so I have tried to incorporate them - and found it to be a fun new character writing stretch.  I truly do hope you will find this fun to read!

*************

“Papa, how much longer?” a tiny voice piped up from the backseat over Killian and Emma Jones’ shoulders with the wheedling tone only a four-year-old’s impatience could muster. “Are we almost there?”

Emma glanced over at her husband with bland exasperation and humor mixed together before swiveling in her seat as much as possible to look back at their daughter Morgan where she sat in her car seat behind Killian, idly alternating between swinging her feet and singing little nonsense songs she made up for herself, staring out the window at the changing scenery as they traveled from one united realm to another, heading ever steadily north toward Arendelle to visit Elsa, Anna, Kristoff, and Morgan’s best friend Sonja, Princess Anna and her husband’s little girl.

Henry, comfortably on his long winter break from his senior year at Boudoin College, had his nose buried in a detective whodunit, and though he was usually quite patient with his much-younger sister, he seemed to be craving some reading time to himself that Emma was willing to humor. She would like to keep them both fairly quiet so that Westley Graham, their youngest at just barely five months, didn’t wake up quite yet from where he was peacefully sleeping in his own backward-facing car seat between his two siblings and where Emma could reach him if needed.

Killian, for his part, chuckled indulgently, his sparkling blue gaze sliding back over to return Emma’s look before answering his little girl, seeming infinitely patient and making Emma love him even more all over again “We are getting closer, little Love,” he assured calmly. “You’ve been very good - and we should be there within the hour now.”

For a moment, Morgan merely nodded and hummed to herself in satisfaction as she watched the scenery pass by out the window. Once they had left Storybrooke behind, the buildings had given way to the forest, thicker and more wild as they had passed through the land of Emma’s birthright rule - the Enchanted Forest. Since then, the forest had thinned out, and slowly the flatter land became foothills, which then turned into snow capped mountains - something which really did seem to almost sparkle before their eyes - not to mention the imaginative view of a toddler. But it wasn’t long before she piped up again, still obviously a bit impatient and unable to hold it in. “Papa? Can you sing a song? … Please?”

Emma snort-laughed at the way her husband’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, not expecting that particular request if his expression could be any indication. Shaking his head, he admitted defeat rather easily for a once-fearsome pirate of the Seven Seas, especially when she playfully jostled his shoulder, egging Morgan on and adding the she would like to hear him as well.

It wasn’t long before Killian’s clear, strong voice was ringing out within the walls of their newer smallish SUV, having left the Bug at home in favorite of more passenger leg room and space for the wealth of presents they were bringing along, both from their immediate family and her parents and other Storybrooke folks who had come to know the Arendellian visitors when they were in the Land Without Magic some years back. The tune her pirate had selected was a rollicking sea shanty - one of their daughter’s favorites - that he and his crew had once sung on the Jolly Roger many years ago as they circled the waters of Neverland endlessly. His song and its playful, raucous melody seemed practically bouncing around the interior of the vehicle, swaying with the rolling buoyancy of its rhythm and pulling Henry from his reading to grin at the song he had heard countless times before. Thankfully Westley didn’t seem in the least disturbed, sleeping right through the impromptu serenade, and Morgan was giggling and clapping her little hands along with her papa’s song. Emma soon found herself singing along as well, watching her family in their joyous uproar, and marveling at the reality that this was the sort of cozy Christmas journey she could have now.

Killian seemed so into his song, and his children’s entertainment, that Emma couldn’t help checking to be certain he was still paying attention to the road ahead. It hadn’t really been until the last couple of years that Killian had begun to take over some driving duties for them on longer trips; having learned to drive capably well before that, but never fully becoming comfortable with - or trusting - their “horseless death traps”, as he often called them. Modern automobiles still seemed smoky, loud, and entirely too unpredictable to a person long used to ships on the sea or riding horseback and in carriages - not to mention one whose first experience with them had been being run down on the road and seriously injured.

All the same, he shot her a look of exaggerated affront as he finished singing, waggling those wildly expressive eyebrows of his at her and pressing his hooked arm to his chest in further drama. “Honestly, Wife? Don’t you trust me more than that by now?” Taking his hook from where it covered his heart, he gestured out the window to indicate the lane beside them. “I may not be as old a hand at driving as most, but I won’t drive us under a semi trailer like that Griswold fellow on the magic box.”

It was Henry who snorted his laughter then, at the reference to National Lampoon’s which they had watched the night before, prior to setting off on their journey. Shaking his head at his stepdad’s odd way of reassuring him, and humored in spite of himself, Henry placed a marker in his book and more fully joined their antics, now that they were drawing nearer to their friend’s kingdom anyway. Danger and adventure, or just taking a family trip; be it Christmas or some random everyday in between, there was never a dull moment with their little crew.

~~~~~***~~~~~***~~~~~

When they entered the Arendelle borders and pulled up to the palace’s front gates, within 45 minutes’ time just as Killian had promised Morgan, the sense of awed anticipation settled over all of them, the air inside the car going quiet at the stunning beauty that met their eyes. Somewhere within the last half hour or so, light flurries of snow had begun to fall around them, looping and twirling through the slowly purpling sky as afternoon inched closer to evening. The ground had already been covered in a picturesque light dusting of white, but it was growing deeper as the additional fluffy flakes continued.

Thankfully, ice didn’t seem to be a part of this particular snowy scene; the roads had remained safely passable and they had made good time. Four uniformed guards two on either side of the wide, silvery sparkling arch and gates of the front entrance to the Queen’s castle and grounds, bowed respectfully as the passageway opened for them. Emma had spoken to her dear friend via magic mirror that morning before they set out, and their arrival had clearly been anticipated.

Despite having been there several times before by that point, all over them sat in openmouthed adoration that overcame them for a few breathless instants. The setting sun hit the gate and front of the castle, sending glitter and sparks of light out to dazzle their eyes. It was as if the whole structure were indeed beautifully coated in ice - and yet there was none of the frigid austerity one might once have feared. Queen Elsa of Arendelle has long since found her equilibrium, allowing her the self-acceptance and open understanding to balance the cold with genuine warmth. She learned to love every part of herself - including her powers - just as she had once helped Emma to do, and as Killian had reminded her ever since.

Their vehicle had barely parked, and they were just stepping out and stretching their tired limbs when they heard familiar voices calling their names, a childish squeal of delight yelping Morgan’s in particular, the sound of several pairs of feet hurrying over freshly fallen snow (well, feet and one set of reindeer hooves) and then they were engulfed in a flurry of hugs and handshakes by the royal family themselves. Anna was predictably firing questions at them as quickly as she could voice them, about their trips, the rest of their family, Belle and the library, without even allowing them time to answer. Kristoff was shaking Killian’s hand and accepting baggage and gift wrapped boxes to lead them inside. Sven snuffled around Henry’s pockets and Morgan’s hair seeking out carrots and other treats as well as providing his own animal greeting. But through the melee, Elsa pressed through to wrap Emma in a fiercely tight hug for several long moments. When she did pull back, it was with a watery smile and unshed tears in her eyes to match those which started in Emma’s.

“I’m so glad all of you have come,” she stated fervently, that sweet, melodious voice trembling with sincerity beyond its usual poise. “Come in, come in.  We’ll get you warm and settled, then we can get caught up.”

Emma nodded, pressing the queen’s hand tightly in her own, before turning to grab more luggage and unfasten Westley from his car seat to do as Elsa suggested.

“Let me help you,” her friend offered, holding out her arms to take the still-sleepy child so Emma could reach the suitcase behind. “May I?”

Emma didn’t hesitate for even a second, easily passing her just-barely-stirring-to-wakefulness infant into her friend’s arms, moving her hand gently so Elsa could cradle Westley’s head and crooning lowly to him until he settled again, rooting deeper into the young queen’s arms as a pleased and rosy smile pinked her cheeks.

Throwing a surreptitious glance over to Killian, only to find him watching her with a comforting smile that already knew where her mind had gone and wished he could undo the old hurt, Emma shook her head to clear the memory as best she could and send her husband a small grin as reassurance that she would be fine. As much as she had tried to banish the moment from her mind, and as much as the sharpest stinging slap of betrayal had faded, Emma still saw her own mother pulling little Neal away from her, protectively fearing her magic and not letting Emma hold her younger brother. Intellectually, Emma knew her mother loved her, magic or no, realized that the knee-jerk reaction had not been aimed to hurt her… and yet… it had.

Watching Elsa as various emotions flitted across her face while cradling her friend’s youngest in her arms, gazing down at the drowsy babe adoringly, Emma knew Elsa had felt that same fear and suspicion she had, and that perhaps Elsa had almost resignedly expected her request to be denied, knew that parental protectiveness all too well, and had been thrilled when she was granted trust instead.

Little Westley Graham did nothing more than flutter his eyelids briefly without fully rousing and gave a slight coo of contentment as the Queen bowed her head to press a light kiss to the top of his downy, sandy-colored hair. “Come on then everyone,” she suggested cheerfully, looking as merry and confident as they had ever seen her and leaving Emma blessedly assured of her friend’s happiness.  “There’s hot chocolate with plenty of marshmallows in the large sitting room.”

She led the way, with Killian, Henry, and Kristoff bringing up the rear to make sure no overexcited little girls, snowmen, or reindeer were left behind. It didn’t take long to find their luggage placed in their rooms, their coats and snow boots shucked off, and all of them seated comfortably scattered around the large open room full of soft chairs and sofas, a roaring fire in the hearth at one end, and plates of toast and jam, cookies, doughnuts, scones and a whole pot of rich hot chocolate with marshmallows set out for the taking.

Conversation hummed warmly throughout the room as the kids played; Henry showing Olaf, Sonja, and his little sister how to make a chain of snow angels for the tree while the four adults caught up on all that had happened since they were last together. Westley had woken up, but to everyone’s surprise, the little boy had not cried or fussed for his mother, and so Elsa still held him gladly. His guileless blue eyes, the mirrored hue of his pirate father’s, blinked up at her curiously, looked more enthralled that concerned by the less familiar person holding him. One pudgy little hand unclenched to reach up toward her almost startlingly white braid and wrapped around the end of it, tugging gently with his tiny fist, and burbling happily as he did.

Elsa practically giggled, a musical, enchanting sound that the rest of them had rarely heard, and a light carefree look graced her face beautifully. “You really are quite a sweetheart, aren’t you?” she whispered to the little one softly.

She did eventually hand Westley back to Emma when he began to wiggle and wanted to eat. Once Emma returned with him after his feeding, she found the Queen of Arendelle seated cross-legged on the floor with Morgan and her niece watching wide-eyed beside her as Elsa effortlessly shaped and reshaped whorls and twists of ice into glittering ornaments she handed them to place on a tree they had left bare for that very entertainment. The girls let out little ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ of excitement and surprise with each shape that seemed to bloom from Elsa’s hands into thin air. Each new creation brough exclamations of delight, and the two children then ran to their papas at the tree to lift them up to place them high on the branches, then hurried back to see what ‘Auntie Elsa’ would create next.

As the decorating eventually wound down, the two little whirlwinds huffing and puffing from all their trips back and forth over the length of the room, and Elsa lightly chuckling at their theatrics, Killian came to sit near them as well, gathering Morgan into his lap and nodding encouraging at Sonja until she scooted up close to his side as well. Soon he was telling them a story of the first time he saw snow fall at sea as a young lad. He remembered how it looked trailing down to rest on nearly frozen arctic water, where their captain had unwisely taken them too far north for the season.

He was relating how his older brother Liam had distracted him by encouraging his wonder at the beauty of the sight. Killian himself had not realized until much later - a similar instance on his own ship facing the very real danger of ice floes in the water and the precarious travel a ship must make in the depths of winter driving the memory home - just how much danger they had been in that night as he had simply marveled at what seemed to his young mind cold falling stars of sparkling light. “He said each one was unique - no other could exactly take the place of the one before. Like people, Liam said they were…” Killian nearly whispered this last over the sudden lump in his throat, seemingly lost in another time and place. Emma reached out a hand to rest upon his knee, and he came back to them with a bit of a start, the faroff gaze clearing from his eyes.  “Like us even,” he added. “We might have been expendable slaves to most - but we mattered, at least to each other, and he always made sure I knew that.”

Both of their daughters had drifted off to sleep by then; the excitement of the day overtaking them once they had settled in to listen to Killian’s quiet, lilting voice. Kristoff came to lift Sonja from Killian’s side to carry her to her room, wishing the rest of them goodnight. Anna followed with a contented wave as Sven trailed behind, headed outside to his barn to bed down for the night.

Queen Elsa’s gaze remained on Killian, though the story had finished. There was a melancholy, almost wistful, look within her light eyes as she seemed to consider the story yet.  “He sounds like the best sort of big brother,” she finally said to Killian softly, and gentle and a bit sad smile curving her lips. “I wish I could have met him….” This last was said almost hesitantly, as if she herself did not quite know why it had slipped out, and yet she nodded determinedly after, as if confirming the sentiment.

“I wish you could have met him too, Milady,” Killian answered fervently, his voice a bit hoarse and husky with the regret and pain of still missing his elder sibling, even after ages had passed. “Maybe it’s just something about the way a younger sibling sees a beloved older one, but at times I can see  something of Liam in you.”

Elsa smiled once more, gratefully accepting what for Killian must be the highest compliment he could give someone. The three of them settled into a sort of peaceful remembrance of those no longer with them - bittersweet but not unpleasant, as they were reminiscing of good times and not just their loss - before she rose as well to retire for the night.

Her exit left Emma and Killian seated cozily before the fire together, one last mug of hot chocolate in each of their hands and the silent beauty of the room around them, still decked out for Christmas, and snow still falling outside, weaving a lovely spell.  Tilting her head up, Emma found Killian’s lips waiting to capture hers tenderly, sipping from them as if they were even more delicious than the chocolate and twice as precious. “I love you, my Darling,” he murmured against her cheek as his kisses trailed back to the spot behind her ear that made her melt on the spot. 

Practically keening back that she loved him too, Emma held her husband even tighter, wanting nothing else she could possibly imagine in that moment. As she gazed into Killian’s blue, blue eyes she could see the future of them, and their family, together, and she knew the coming year would be their best one yet.

Tagging: @cssecretsanta2k19​ @xhookswenchx​ @searchingwardrobes​ @kmomof4​ @jennjenn615​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​ @thisonesatellite​ @profdanglaisstuff​ @resident-of-storybrooke​ @revanmeetra87​ @teamhook​ @hollyethecurious​@winterbaby89​ @darkcolinodonorgasm​ @hollyethecurious​ @gingerchangeling​ @spartanguard​ @lfh1226-linda​

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Christmas Special Villains

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Much like I did for Halloween, I wanted to do a bunch of one-shot or at the very least minor Christmas villains, which presented me with an interesting problem – most Christmas specials don’t really have villains. Usually the main obstacle to overcome in any holiday special is some sort of emotional fault of the main character, a lack of belief in the spirit of the holiday, or something to that effect, and when there is an actual villain, it tends to just be ones from the show at large with a Christmas-related scheme. Like I’m not doing Princess Morbucks or the Kanker sisters for this.

Luckily, There were a few I was sure on, and I managed to scrounge up a few more to deliver five lovingly-wrapped holiday villains. We have:

Mrs. Claus from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

Ghost Writer from Danny Phantom

Robot Santa from Futurama

Edna Jucation and the Faculty Four from Codename: Kids Next Door

The Woodland Critters from South Park

Here’s the most interesting thing: Despite Christmas stories tending to lean more towards internal conflict and self-reflection, when they do have actual, tangible threats like these, they tend to be honestly and genuinely great. This is in stark contrast to A lot of the villains from the Halloween specials, who tended to just be big scary baddies without much oomph to them.

Actor: Mrs. Claus is portrayed by Carol Kane, an incredibly prolific actress who you may know best as Valerie, the wife of Miracle Max from The Princess Bride. And much like in that film, she manages to be as enjoyable and funny as the guy playing her husband, which is a tall order indeed – in that film it was Billy Crystal, and in the special it’s Gilbert Gottfried.

Ghost Writer is portrayed by Will Arnett of all people. This was post-Gob Bluth but pre-Batman and BoJack, so while not unknown by any stretch it’s definitely weird to go back and see him in a Butch Hartman action cartoon of all places. He does a great job, as to be expected; when has he ever done poorly?

In his first appearance, Robot Santa was voiced by none other than John Goodman. Normally I’d say Goodman would be perfect for the role of Santa, but… this one’s a maniacal robotic serial killer. It’s a wonderfully jarring juxtaposition. After that, John DiMaggio gave Robot Santa a voice for his other appearances, and he does a good job for sure. Obviously he’s no John Goodman, but really, who is?

Edna Jucation is voiced by Candi Milo, and the Faculty Four are played by Dee Bradley Baker and Darran Norris; Baker is the Unintelligible Tutor and Thesaurus Rex, while Norris is Mr. Physically Fitastic and the Human Text. These are all top-tier veteran voice actors, and they do a fine job, but I can’t particularly say they really make any of these characters stand out or be memorable, which is a shame.

As to be expected, the Woodland Critters are voiced by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Big shock there. Even less shocking is that they are perfectly funny as these depraved animals.

Motivation/Goals: Out of all of these, I think it’s really fitting that Mrs. Claus is the one with the best motivation. As the HEAD head vampire in the North Pole, she has turned Santa into a vampire and put a halt on Christmas because she is overworked and exhausted, having to do all the household chores all year while Santa only works one night. It is absolutely, perfectly understandable that she snapped… but apparently this isn’t even the first time, as Santa mentions at the end this has happened on multiple prior occasions. You think he’d treat her better after the second or third time, but then we wouldn’t have a plot.

I’d say that Ghost Writer and the Woodland Critters are tied for the next spot; both of them have solid reasons for doing what they’re doing. Ghost Writer was just a humble author trying to finish a Christmas story in time for Christmas, but unfortunately this caught the eye of the extremely Scroogey Danny Phantom, who absolutely hates Christmas due to traumatic events caused by his family fighting on Christmas in the past. Danny, in a moment of incredible callousness, blasts the poor ghost’s manuscript to bits and then proceeds to rub it in, which drives GW to breaking the annual truce and using his powers to torment Danny by trapping him in a Christmas story where he and everyone else can only speak in rhyme. It’s honestly hard to feel sympathy for Danny here, but GW does take it a bit too far.

The Woodland Critters, on the other hand, are just utterly depraved… but that’s to be expected seeing as they are the creations of Eric Cartman, inhabiting a Christmas story whose sole reason for existing is to make Kyle look like a tool. In the story, they get Kyle knocked up with the Antichrist. You see, there master is Satan, and they want nothing more than for his spawn to be born into the world. They really just exist as a reason for Cartman to rip on Kyle for being a Jew at Christmastime, as Kyle himself points out in their debut episode.

Edna and the Faculty Four are a bit simple and amusing, as is befitting of a gimmicky villain from The world of the KND. They team up with the Delightful Children because Substitute Teacher’s Day is virtually unknown compared to Christmas, the kind of absurd, wacky reason for villainy you’d expect from a world where some of the most feared supervillains include an evil dentist and a vampire who spanks people. Robot Santa is likewise extremely simple, yet effective: every Christmas he flies down to Earth to punish the naughty – which is everyone except Zoidberg. This is due to a programming oversight that left his standards set way too high, so no one can ever measure up. Except Zoidberg. There’s really not much more to him than that, but really, does their need to be?

Final Fate: Mrs. Claus is redeemed at the end of the special thanks to Billy, who helps her understand the true meaning of Christmas and who heals her husband so that he can apologize. Things seem like they might work out for real this time because now Malcolm McDowell’s vampire is around to help with tidying up, so hooray! Happy ending here!

Ghost Writer gets thwarted because Danny picks up an orange; as Ghost Writer never watched Drake & Josh and thus didn’t realize that “door hinge” is an acceptable rhyme, he was unable to continue writing his story and got beat up by Danny and his rogues gallery and then thrown into Walker’s prison for breaking the yearly truce in the Ghost Zone. At least he got to complete his book?

The Woodland Critters go out when Santa comes in and blasts them away with a shotgun… but since they are technically fictional characters, they show up in Imaginationland to cause problems. Still, it’s reassuring to know they can be taken out with simple firearms.

Edna Jucation, the Faculty Four, and Robot Santa really don’t have any canonical final fate; they just get defeated and then go on their merry way. In Robot Santa’s case, he actually showed up quite a few more times after his initial appearance to wreak havoc, but the Faculty Four and Edna were entirely oneshot antagonists.

Final Thoughts & Score: Christmas honestly fares a lot better than Halloween does as far as I can see. The villains tend to be a lot more thematic, or at the very least they have more personality and thematic function. Halloween doesn’t really have any sort of core themes to work off of as opposed to Christmas, which has a lot of reoccurring themes in works based around it. Still, most of these characters just settle on being funny.

Mrs. Claus and the Woodland Critters are the best of the bunch here, and both earn themselves a spot on the Nice List with a 9/10 each. Mrs. Claus is just a lot of fun, mostly because of the fact she has legitimate grievances on top of being a unique twist on the character. Mrs. Claus as a vampire overlord who commands hordes of vampire elves? That’s the sort of creative wackiness that Billy & Mandy delivered on. The Woodland Critters are just funny, plain and simple, acting as the sort of amusing subversion that could be expected of from South Park in its glory days as well as being totally in line with Cartman’s personality. These are the exact sort of original characters I’d expect from a guy who ground up a kid’s parents and made them into chili, what with their blood orgies and ultraviolence. Amusingly enough, they score a point higher than Cartman did in his own Psycho Analysis, which is mostly due to their limited appearances meaning that they stay remarkably consistent, where Cartman tends to be whatever an episode needs to be, be that hero, anti-hero, or villain.

Next up are Ghost Writer and Robot Santa, who both get 7/10. Ghost Writer is a very amusing oneshot, but it’s honestly weird that out of all the Villains from Danny Phantom, he’s the first one I talked about. You’d think it would be Ember or Vlad or something… at any rate, he’s an amusing antagonist, but he’s also one who it’s hard not to view as being in the right, especially since Danny was just a jerk to him completely unprovoked due to his own personal hangups with the holidays. As usual with fun ideas on the show though he was only ever used once, which is a real shame but at the same time understandable; his gimmick really only works with Christmas, so it would have been weird shoehorning him into another episode’s plot. For what he is, he’s fun.

Robot Santa has a similar problem, not really being able to function outside of Christmas specials, but his few appearances leave him as an amusing antagonist who never really overstays his welcome. He’s not as entertaining or engaging as, say, Mom, but he definitely offers some laughs with his hilarious concept and his ridiculous levels of bloodlust. Points t him for helping out the heroes in the first Futurama movie too.

That just leaves us with Edna and the Faculty Four, and the Faculty Four just manage to scrape onto the bottom of the Nice List with a collective 5/10. They don’t really have much character or personality, especially when compared to the heroic Marvel pastiche that is Elfa Strike, but as brief amusing gag villains meant to pay loving tribute to the Fantastic Four, I think they’re decent. Edna is not so lucky; she’s a bit obnoxious, shrill, and doesn’t really correlate to any sort of Marvel character, which is baffling since the entire episode is one big love letter to Marvel comics. Sad to say, but she’s landing smack dab on the Naughty List with a 2/10. She doesn’t even have a cool gimmick!

I suppose that wraps it up for Christmas special villains. Doing something like this is tough, because it really makes you sit back and wonder what sort of Christmas villains you should put on. Obviously I avoided any theatrical film villains, but that did leave one particularly glaring omission of a villain from a holiday special… a big, green, unpleasant omission. He’s a mean one, for sure...

[kryptsune]

🌼Good morning everyone and a happy Tuesday to you all! I had a lot of people ask me about my Outertale on Discord. That beat out pretty much all the other options on the poll so here we go! This is one of the larger ones because I had a lot of fun putting some of my favorite sci-fi concepts into this. I am a huge SG1 fan so you can definitely see that reflected. I admittedly am the fantasy genre girl so any ideas are welcome! I just liked the idea that the monsters in this were more than just typical monsters. DO NOT REPOST MY WORK WITHOUT MY PERMISSION IT IS NOT FOR YOUR USE. IF YOU LIKE MY WORK PLEASE REBLOG INSTEAD! It helps me so much! It makes such a difference.💙If you want more of these just let me know! It’s the only way I can gauge interest! Outertale Alternate “Nicknames” Info:  Sans: Nova- Nova is the trickster though he is mostly associated with that of Loki. Loki is described specifically as “Playful, malicious ( ok maybe not that one), helpful, and nihilistic.” He helps others in a kind of goofy over the top way. He just doesn’t take much seriously. Nova is one of the youngest. He acts very childish at times coming to question how long he has been among the pantheon. Some argue his many centuries gave him a nihilistic outlook on life or that he is too young to understand the true ways of the world. Not to say that Nova can’t be serious but he is pretty laid back. It’s one of the reasons unlike the others he doesn’t really keep his cultural ties in his design. He should have more Norse in it but nah… varsity jackets are cozy right? I mean he is wearing star shorts for star’s sake. When asked about his job he mentions, “Hey, there kiddo. Nice of ya to drop by. Been up to? Heh well got a “new” job which is pretty cool. Not as cool as Pollux but I help arrange stars. Ya know, like the ones you see in the sky you can make pictures out of? I think you humans call em… constellations. One time I made this giant whoopee cushion one. Then I lost ma job. Got a second chance though. Andromeda’s constantly watchin me. hehe no harm done though.” Both Pollux and Nova refer to each other as brothers but it is unclear if they are biologically related. Their abilities and strengths are nearly opposite and their mythos even more so. Papyrus: Pollux- The presumed older brother of Nova. Pollux is associated with Egyptology specifically wisdom. Pollux tends to be the opposite of Nova in that he takes his job very seriously. Once on earth, he was known as Thoth gracing humanity with a mechanical and architectural knowledge that astounded the world. His mind and intellect put him at the forefront of innovation making him one of Capricorn’s best and most trusted advisors. He enjoys testing the mental prowess of others using puzzles and riddles of his own design. Unlike canon Pap, Pollux cares more about balance in life. Something his younger brother seems to lack. Not all work and not all play. He is kind, helpful, and willing to give advice to anyone that is looking for it. To the little human Frisk, he is a good mentor and teacher. (Pollux has made it his pastime to create a series of challenges to prove a humans worth. If they pass then they are able to speak/ see them. No one has managed to prove themselves.) Undyne: Andromeda- Andromeda is not different from canon Undyne as she embodies the Mayan mythology. She is most closely associated with the feathered serpent Quetzalcóatl. A deity of wind and rain. Also known as life-giver. Though Andromeda tends to harken back to her more aggressive roots she has a deep respect for the King and acts as his guard. Just like Pollux she too acts as an advisor, though more on matters of security than strategy or mechanics. Such a position is where she first met Elara and to this day the two are inseparable sharing their very different cultures. Her favorite kind of anime to watch are mech-based. Alphys: Elara- Very similar to canon Alphys just as this version of Undyne is. Alphys is based on Sukuna-Biko-Na (少名毘古那) or the Shinto god of medicine and rain. Elara is still very much a scientist and one that has a unique fascination with living things. Everything from the planets, to humans, animals, and plant life. She particularly enjoys spending time in her private greenhouse creating and taking care of all of the plant life. Before the monsters were forced to leave their place among the humans she was able to collect all the DNA of the plants and animals on the planet. They are stored in a kind of ark in which to preserve them if anything threatens their existence. Elara is very traditional in her work as her medicines are derived from her magic as well as herbal substances. She is very curious however as she is not allowed to interact with the progress of humanity but rather watches from afar. This is where her love of anime takes hold. Her favorites are ones like Sailor Moon or any type of magical girl anime. She will sit with Andromeda and watch them for hours. Her demeanor is very shy at first but once she opens up she will be a friend for life. Asgore: Capricorn- The head of the cosmic pantheon he is the King as he is in the original. He is associated with Celtic mythos though he has taken on many pantheon roles in his lifetime. Ambisagrus, a god of thunder and lightning, Ancestor God, Sky God, God of Wind, Rain & Hail is what he is based on. One such role is that of Zeus whose main symbol is that of lightning and thunder. Just like the Zeus of mythology Capricorn is constantly debating his involvement with humanity. Whether that be to stop their technological advances or aiding in their lives. A large portion of his time was spent with his subjects not so much his wife Aurora who is the jealous type. Capricorn is not a ruthless leader but he does know that sometimes hard decisions must be made. Just like UT Asgore, he is kind and benevolent, however, he has a temper if you make him angry enough. His magical abilities lean more toward lighting then fire but he has that ability as well. He tasked Elara to watch over human development should a problem arise. Toriel: Aurora- The Queen to Capricorn she is known to be easily jealous. It would explain why Zeus wife Hera also shares these traits. Her Gaelic deity tie is that of Arianrhod a goddess of the moon and stars. She creates life from the stars she creates sometimes causing them to take a form of their own. They are almost like living constellations. Some say that the Queen made such life to combat her own loneliness which her Son and Husband spent time away. In addition to the stars, she is also known for being a loving mother and caregiver. In her time on earth, she used to watch over and protect children and their families. Aurora though previously jealous of her simple in the universe has come to accept and embrace it. She is kind but rather overprotective. Anyone that forsakes life will feel her wrath. Muffet: Umbra- Umbra is associated with Hindu mythology as a goddess of wealth and prosperity. Though earthly riches do not concern Umbra she still has a taste for the fine silks and gold that she once had on earth. A little about the goddess that she represents: Lakshmi’s name comes from the Sanskrit word ​laksya, meaning an aim or goal. She is the goddess of wealth and prosperity, both material and spiritual. Unlike UT Muffet, Umbra also focuses on spiritual wealth. Peace of mind. She is ever the optimist even when things do not turn out to go her way. In times of need, she is called those in the struggles of self-worth trying to bring them into a different understanding. There have been many a time when Umbra calms Capricorns quick and rash judgments, much to Aurora’s displeasure. Just as with the rest of the pantheon she is kind and helpful even with her yearning to return to the people she so loved before they were forced to the outskirts of the galaxy. Grillby: Helio- Helio derived from the sun is my OT Grillby. He out of all the characters could care less about either being a deity or an observer. He is known to be at a middle ground. He would rather live his days running a social establishment but during his time on earth, he was known for his magic. Originally he was the right hand of Capricorn being depicted as a war deity for his fiery nature. He was the general of grand armies. His armor is something he hung up long ago but if called into court he will wear it once again. Its design is very reminiscent of Roman centurions. Though depictions of him are curious since his name back then was referred to as Merlin. He was best known for his magic and alchemy and the concoctions he made during a period of time far lacking in imagination. Just like Nova, Helio tended to interfere far too often in the affairs of man though noble in purpose. He tends to be outcast among the pantheon for his past conduct but he is content in his lab mixing crazy concoctions. Everything from love potions to disguises. His forte is all about alchemy and magic. Asriel: Azicree (Azi)- Azicree or Azi for short is the Crown Prince. By monster standards Azi is still very young, however, he has lived for far longer than any human can fathom. His mother used to shelter him until he begged for his father to let him prove himself. He still acts like a child always curious and desiring some form of exploration. Much to Capricorns dismay Azi enjoys spending time with Nova and the two become pranksters in general. He tends to not do as he is told, which is why they are in this mess in the first place. His reckless behavior had him appearing to a human that begged for his salvation. The matters of life and death are ones that are not to be messed with. Those that do find their souls being tainted for all eternity turning them into something other than just a monster. 9X is an example of such tampering. Azi does learn his lesson and begins to try and shape up to be a worthy successor to his father if such a thing ever did come to pass. He studies off of all those he knows especially Pollux who is more than happy to share such knowledge. His associations are nonexistent since he was born after the times of gods. His abilities seem to be mimic based. He is able to learn about abilities and use them at will. It is rare that monsters have children and as such Azi is the little prodigy child even though there are many times he just wants to be a kid. He makes friends with Frisk very quickly and learns a lot from the human visitor. Gaster: 9X (I can’t even)- 9x (can be pronounced NYX or Nine-X) is the Gaster of this universe. He is Capricorns pantheon counterpart. In essence the Hades to his Zeus. He is the monster that everyone thinks about when darkness takes hold. He is the one that associates with apocalyptic events such as Ragnarok. He is however not evil by any stretch of the imagination. He would be better suited to be called a god of chaos. He tends to reject the laws placed upon the rest of the pantheon regardless of repercussions. It’s speculated that both Pollux and Nova were a part of him and crafted into the monsters that are known today. Nova being his more devious side which Pollux is more his intellect and drive. He has been locked away for a very long time in a prison aptly named Tartarus. His abilities are space and time-oriented very similar to Nova which makes him difficult to imprison. He, of course, has been in his cell for quite some time and it is unclear if he actually has had a change of heart or using it as a manipulation tactic. The only one he speaks with on occasion is Azi wanting to learn more about this planet they all used to call home. It is information that the others tend to not speak of. His father more so as he is afraid it will instill a yearning in his son. 9X’s genius is on par with his godly abilities such as creating artificial intelligence. Something that is not considered life. He uses Azi as a template for this new program… FLOWEY- F- Friendly L- Life-like O- Operating system W- With E- Earthbound Y- Yearning  F.L.O.W.E.Y was created by 9x and Nova with Azi as a template. He is a charismatic AI who was originally created as a helper as well as to teach the Prince about their planet of origin. Unfortunately, Flowey does not have the same reservations about disobeying his father as Azi does. Even going so far as to integrate with key and vital systems in The Capital. Flowey is not evil he just is driven to be the best help he can without regards to any type of consequences. He also feels abandoned by Nova as he was not only his creator but also his closest friend. It was why he was made. To be a companion and friend.  He helps Frisk meet and learns more about their existence. He acts like a companion. However, when Frisk becomes friends with Azi Flowey’s AI goes haywire. He begins to feel emotions he is not technically allowed to such as jealousy. This causes him to try and eliminate those threatening him which in this case would be all the monsters. Eventually, Azi attempts to program himself into the interface changing its initial programming. Some of Flowey’s previous versions:    Blookie: Nebula Riverperson: Omni Gerson: Quasar The Ursas: Ursa Major/Minor Greater Dog/ Lesser Dog: Canis Major/Minor  Character Origin/Mythos: Sans- Norse (Trickster)
Papyrus- Egyptian Undyne- Mayan Alphys- Japanese (shinto) Asgore- Celtic Toriel- Celtic Muffet- Hindu
Grillby- Medieval (Merlin) Asriel- Celtic through lineage Gaster- Greek/Roman Blookie- Western Guard dogs- Constellations (Native American) Riverperson- Greek (Charon) Gerson- Chinese (Divination/ wisdom) Background and Context: A long time ago there lived beings of great power. They could bend space and time with a simple thought and bring life to their creations. These were the gods. Ones of great benevolence but also great and terrifying power. Humanity, a primitive race just starting to understand life itself, became their focus. At first, their interaction was very rare only occasionally appearing to help but as time went on those interactions became more drastic. Their assistance and knowledge were seen as godlike to these humans. They would bring gifts and offerings to their new deities in hopes that they would look favorably upon them. That they would impart their wisdom and magic if they were pleased. In time this became more and more of a tradition. A religion built upon pleasing these deities so that their lives would be far improved but this became a conundrum for the beings. Some remained benevolent and helpful while others become greedy and wrathful. The power began to go to their minds corrupting their souls. These instances were written down in variation by the humans making up grandiose stories of fiery chariots and jealous gods. Thus mythology came into being for humanity. A way to explain the things in which they did not understand. As with each religion and deity, the monsters each became associated with a specific culture or mythos. Some being pinnacles of their pantheon and others being lesser deities molded to suit a specific task. These monsters rarely interacted with ones of their own kind but as power shifted some of them took on roles of others. One monster could have been the god of war in Greek mythos but end up also as the god of thunder in Norse. There were no limitations to their influence. One such “deity” was that of the trickster. A monster that tended to be rather childish in his ambitions jumping from pantheon to pantheon looking to lighten up his other “deities” stern demeanors. The monsters began to pull away leaving their presences in name only and occasional help but this was short-lived. It caused problems, war, destruction, and feuding powers sadly began to use their civilizations as almost pawns. Their meddling almost destroyed that which they wanted to originally protect. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. The “gods” faded from existence only being remembered in myths and legends. The great prophecy of the Norse. The architectural marvels of the Egyptians. Now they reside in the furthest reaches of the galaxy. They spread out among the stars but a group of them resided in a Capital of sorts. A station at the edge of the Universe. One which no human could ever reach. The Humans Impressions: When the monsters left the humans to their own devices they worship continued long after. Eventually the magic and the miracles that had once been performed faded into history. The monsters were all but forgotten unless mentioned in mythology or scary stories. The humans never harbored any animosity toward them since they no longer believed in their existence in any form. They only understand what their ancestors depicted them as. The monsters as well don’t really have anything against humans either. All in all, they just go about their jobs and enjoy the universe, helping from time to time discreetly if need be but never showing their faces. Main Plot Synop: The plot to Outertale is very simple as it is more based around the world than it is the actual plot. It is very similar to that of the regular UT timeline with some notable differences. Once the humans reach an age of technological advancement they begin to spread out and search the stars. Some of them encounter monsters which they mistake for aliens (hilarious enough. I mean Jerry looks like an alien.) They begin to build colonies living more and more outside the reach of their own galaxy. Humans, however, tend to turn on their own creating factions within the space colonies. Some more prosperous than others. Frisk’s colony was one such beast being cut off from the other colonies as a drifter. Unfortunately, Frisk’s family was nearly non-existent and being stuck on a space colony was little to be desired. After seeing a streak of fire slamming into the outskirts of the colony. Frisk decides to investigate. They have always been the curious type disobeying orders and questioning everything. The colonies outer and more dangerous regions became their playground finding old pieces of technology. Eventually, they stumble upon a crashed ship. One that It seems too damaged to be used but it’s nothing like they have ever seen before. Everyone else on the colony considers it to be cursed.  The strange runic language is confusing but Frisk finds that there is one lone computer onboard that seems to still function. It flickers with a bright yellow light showing an almost pixelated Flower with a =) face on the screen. Over the next few days, Frisk returns to decipher the runes with the help of their new friend which they find out is called Flowey. It is a project that the curious human enjoys and for once it is nice to have a friend. Eventually, the runes are deciphered claiming some sort of teleportation capability. Once Frisk is close enough the system fires up on its own sending the human straight to the monster Capital on the farthest reaches of the universe. A place that no human has ever been.  The rest of the story is an exploration of this new environment. Frisk befriends the monsters who don’t attack first. They actually mostly want to engage with the human showing off their ability a little bit. A part of them misses the previous worship. Nova seems to take a particular interest in this new human especially when they befriend Azi. They work to help shut Flowey down only for Azi to impart his knowledge on the interface helping it understand. Frisk has nothing to return to so they stay with the monster and become Azi’s human tutor so that one day maybe the monsters can return and live side by side the humans once again. Both Azi and Frisk are almost like siblings coined the star children.

[toomanybruises]

portia route book xiii theory

this post contains spoilers for portia’s route up to book xiii, please refrain from reading if you haven’t read the chapter yet. (❁´◡`❁)

after reading book xiii, I have a theory about tasya’s motives and plans.

okay firstly, we need to establish that tasya killed/attempted to kill the devorak family straight off the bat. as soon as she was denied her brother’s shipment fleet, she so happened to accompany them on a voyage that eventually drowned portia’s parents.

we know she wanted the fleet, and in book xii we know that she values her influence and power over others through manipulating valerius and vlastomil. she gets what she wants, when she wants it. and she didn’t get the shipment fleet. so that gives her motive to kill her brother and his wife. (i’ll explain how exactly she manages to pull this off later i promise-).

but the thing is, if she killed her brother and his wife, the shipment fleet wouldn’t go into her name, it would go into julian and portia’s name as they are the direct descendents of tasya’s brother. and who also happens to be on the ship when it gets shipwrecked? julian and portia. only they survived.

and in book xi, we are told that tasya had no idea that the siblings had survived. I have no doubt about that she believed they were dead at some point but i don’t believe it lasted long.

think about it, what would tasya, who wanted the merchant fleet in her name shipwrecks the boat out at sea with no survivors apart from herself, do straight after making it back to land? try to claim the company for herself and the fortune that came along with it.

but she can’t because the devorak siblings are alive. (or she does get it in her name for some time before it is revoked when the bank finds out that siblings are alive and did survive the shipwreck)

either way, tasya is mad and wants to kill them off to get the company/wealth for herself. however she needs to pinpoint where they are. which is quite tricky due to them living in the small town of nevivon for some time and julian going on his countless adventures across the world.

it is only when julian devorak is announced to be executed does she find the eldest’s location. now, I believe that she didn’t realise portia was also at the execution and was in attendance to make sure that julian died this time.

until she realised that portia there and that. she would have to kill them both.

(also I forgot to mention but just imagine the time between the shipwreck and the execution, tasya is investing and building her connections to be more influential and affluent).

now, tasya finds a way to get more power while in vesuvia (which i will also explain later i promise—) and realises she can obtain more power while also killing off her niece and nephew at the same time.

she needs to see both julian and portia die, and she cannot get close to portia if she lets her older brother die. so she intercepts the execution and convinces vlastomil to change the verdict through corrupt means so she can get close to the siblings so she can betray them and make sure they are dead.

and you know how I said tasya had made a plan to gain power and influence in vesuvia? well she did that by financially aiding the city projects by helping rerouting the canal. many people needed this which would give her power and support from the people for all the work she had done. but I find it suspicious that a power hungry woman like tasya would pour so much of her wealth into rerouting the canals unless it benefitted her.

which leads into my next point, tasya intentionally brought the palace down to the ground, in the process killing julian, portia and several members of the prakan royal family, including the countess.

now it is common knowledge that Muriel’s, Portia’s and Lucio’s route show a drastic different perspective than the main three and are a lot darker (like the character deaths in muriel’s route).

i believe that some major characters will die in the next book. maybe a certain countess that runs the place or our favorite himbo doctor? (which will serve as a pivotal turning point for portia’s character alongside the destruction of the palace!) and it wouldn’t be out of place due to the tonal shift the new three stories are expected to go.

anyway, I believe that by killing the countess off, tasya would be able to work her way into becoming the leader of Vesuvia. let’s think about it. she only does things for her own gain and if her plan all along was to capture nadia’s position, it would make sense why she was throwing so much money to solve the canals if she knew she would rule over it in the near future.

and by helping the city immensely, she has already got a good reputation going for her. if nadia is killed and Lucio is nowhere in sight, who will vesuvia turn to? an icompetent court or tasya who has helped improve the city and the livelihoods of others? also the fact she has a nobility title of baroness puts her in higher power than the courtiers so that’s something to think about. (and) it makes sense why she wants the palace as we have established before she is power hungry and wants money.

and the fact that portia and julian die in the process is an added bonus for tasya.

now one small detail in book xiii had me wondering. how did tasya know about asra stealing lucio’s body to resurrect the apprentice? only three people know about this. asra, who stole the body; Lucio, whose body was stolen and the devil; who was giving the body to lucio.

we know that she didn’t get the information from asra since he was surprised at her accusation. it doesn’t really make sense if the devil told her. even if they made a deal together, it would not benefit the devil to share that information. but learning from lucio makes perfect sense.

tasya was probably well acquainted with Lucio when he became count or in the very least, came across him in his goat form. we know that tasya is slightly magically talented so it is possible that she could communicate with him.

now, we know goatman lucio’s motives are getting a new body and he will do anything to be able to get it back, willingly to bargain with or sabotage someone else for it. and what if tasya bargained that she could get him a new body from the apprentice for him if she could take his place as vesuvia’s leader? or perhaps even helping him to reclaim his position as count as his new betrothed and then later betray him (or you know, just marry Lucio and be happy together, whatever floats your boat).

now you’re probably wondering how tasya managed to pull this off. well i briefly mentioned and believe that tasya has magical abilities. it is one of the only ways for her to plausibly do all this destruction if she was behind it all.

tasya could have taken the wheel of the ship and steered it into a tidal wave or into sharp rocks but wouldn’t the crew know what she was trying to do and make a commotion? wouldn’t the siblings have heard if they were being steered into the wrong direction on purpose? wouldn’t they be able to disarm tasya?

so i think that tasya has a magical affinity with water or/and air and created the storm herself to kill everyone on the ship. the crew wouldn’t expect it to be foul play/magical since it’s a storm, something that is a common occurrence out at sea. and it had to be either water or air since we know it was a storm (which are vicious winds and water) that led to the shipwreck and the eventual drowning of the crew (again too much water and not enough air). and it would give tasya a higher probability of surviving the shipwreck if she had magical powers to shield her from drowning.

now, I want to divert your attention to the main 6’s arcana patrons. all except portia have made a deal for magical abilities with one of the major arcana. however, it canonical that portia has a patron and it is the star. now, I want to dissect the star. she and portia have much in common. from physical appearance to their personality: their happy-go-lucky nature, their optimism, extraverted nature, etc. but one thing strikes me the most is the fact that the star’s symbol is water. we see her holding a jug of water, and the fact that when split, the water just floats. water being held by air. water and air.

maybe the star isn’t portia’s patron but both hers and aunt tasya’s? it would make perfect sense that tasya bargained with the star for air/water powers so she could be able to shipwreck the devorak’s. and I’ll go one step further, water has been symbolically used a lot in portia’s route, especially in book xii and book xiii book. there have been heavy storms since Julian’s trial that semi-cancel the masquerade. where does tasya invite portia and the apprentice to? a magical room that is filled with breathable water that she personally installed!

and I don’t believe we have heard the last of tasya, because I believe that she purposely brought the castle down. that’s why she holed herself up in the water room she personally installed, so that she could protect herself from the damage and herself alone.

and from reading the scene of the palace crumbling, words like “thunderous boom” and “shards of glass raining down” and “magic that tears through the air” which can allude to tasya using her water and wind magic to tear the palace down. it even says that the apprentice recognises it as “arcane” magic. so yeah.

another thing i want to point out is that i think that portia will later make a pact with the star (I don’t totally think she’s 100% tasya’s patron and hers only) in order to be equal/overcome tasya and the situation at hand. I think that portia will either get magical powers or find newfound hope and courage to face what challenges her and her happiness. make sense to why the star is portia’s patron- we are going to see her connection to the star in current time, rather in flashbacks and recollections.

this theory I thought up in a whim and has many plot holes so feel free to add to this or suggest your own theories, I’m just distraught after the end of the book xiii I need to find some semblance of explanation to why tasya is being tasya.

also I forgot to mention that tasya’s got another motive to make people immortal which kind of throws my theory out the window/changes it drastically but you know what? I’m not going to try sorting into the theory I made, I just need a hug, a hot cocoa and a nap to reassure me that portia and her mental health will be okay in the next book.

TL:DR:

Tasya wanted the Devorak merchant fleet for herself and used her magical powers from the pact with The Star so she could drown the Devoraks. Realises that the siblings didn’t die and sets off to kill them for good by collapsing the palace, taking the leadership of the nation for herself I the process. Portia may or may not make a pact with the Star in the future.

[ebaeschnbliah]

SCANDINAVIAN  REFERENCES

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In Sherlock BBC - and also a little bit outside of it 

While writing on DISTRACTION & CONSEQUENCES and CABIN ON THE MEADOW, involving Phil with his ‘explosive’ car and the Hiker with the bashed-in head, I couldn’t fail to notice that Phil’s unmoving car is a SAAB … which is a Swedish brand. 

According to the informations given during the promotion campaingn for the Escapre Room, TheGameIsNow, Sherlock lives currently in Sweden. Since these aren’t the only occasions where Scandinavian regions are mentioned in Sherlock BBC, the suspicion inevitably arose that those references could be of some importance. Reason enough to make another little list. :)

TBC below the cut ….

Short definition of Scandinavia

The term Scandinavia in local usage covers the three kingdoms of Denmark, Norway, and Sweden. 

In English usage, Scandinavia also sometimes refers to the Scandinavian Peninsula, or to the broader region including Finland and Iceland.  x

A Scandal in Belgravia

As mentioned above, Phil’s immobile car, which ‘explodes’ and thus distracts the Hiker who, as a consequence, is killed by his own boomerang, is of the Swedish brand SAAB. 

The Empty Hearse

Mr. Howard Shilcott, the ‘train guy (and mirror for Sherlock), possesses important informations about the Underground station at Sumatra Road, which once was built but then closed before it ever opened. He wears a ‘funny hat with earflaps’ made of Islandic sheep wool. That hat becomes an object of significance when Sherlock invites his brother to play deductions with him, just like in the old days.

MYCROFT: The earlier patches are extensively sun-bleached, so he’s worn it abroad – in Peru. SHERLOCK: Peru? MYCROFT: This is a chullo – the classic headgear of the Andes. It’s made of alpaca. SHERLOCK: No. MYCROFT: No? SHERLOCK: Icelandic sheep wool. Similar, but very distinctive if you know what you’re looking for. I’ve written a blog on the varying tensile strengths of different natural fibres.

His Last Vow

The main villain of this episode is designed after Doyle’s British character Charles Augustus Milverton. For some reason, in this adaptation, name and origin of the man have been changed into Charles Augustus Magnussen, who is now from Denmark. The fact that he is ‘foreign’ is driven home explicitly right at the beginning of the episode by the dialogue as well as the accent of the man, who is played by Danish actor Lars Mikkelsen.

GARVIE: Do you think it right that a newspaper proprietor, a private individual and, in fact, a foreign national should have such regular access to our Prime Minister? MAGNUSSEN: I don’t think it’s wrong that a private individual should accept an invitation. However, you have my sincere apologies for being foreign.

The Six Thatchers

Mr. Kingsley, a client, thinks that Sherlock’s deductions, once explained, are actually dead simple. Highly annoyed, Sherlock spontaneously invents a ludicrous story and tells the shocked man that his wife is actually Greta Bengtsdotter, Swedish by birth and the most dangerous spy in the world. She secretly works for none other than James Moriarty and uses her unsuspecting husband as cover to hide her true intentions which will finally precipitate in World War III. 

The first location Mary visits on her hiatus is Norddal in Norway. That’s a small place (ca. 1660 inhabitants) deep inside the Storfjord. Here she picks up a fake passport hidden inside the stonewall of a coastal watchtower. Her new name, Gabrielle Ashdown, is taken from TPLOSH, where Holmes chooses the pseudonym ‘Mr. and Mrs. Ashdown’ for himself and Gabrielle Valladon, the woman who consulted him in the case of her missing husband but is actually Ilse von Hofmannsthal, a German spy who pretends to be Mrs. Valladon. 

The Final Problem

One of the very last scenes of this episode shows a man dressed as Viking, including the (cliched) horned helmet. He lies motionless on the floor in the livingroom of 221b Baker Street (played by Paul Weller). John bends over him and examines his left eye. 

Vikings were highly skilled Norse seafarers who raided and pillaged (like pirates) with their infamous longboats (also well known as dragonboats). They acted as mercenaries but also as merchants, who traded goods across wide areas of Europe, North Africa, the Middle East, European Russia and the North Atlantic islands. Some of them even reached the North-Eastern coast of North America. (X)

That Viking is not the only character in this story who ‘wears horns’. Furthermore, cow horns are also connected to the eye-goddess Hathor, whose other, dangerous side is represented by lioness goddess Sekhmet.

The way this Viking lays there … one leg sharply angled at the knee, the foot shoved beneath the other, outstretched leg and both arms straight beside his torso … it’s a bit odd and strangely reminds me of the ‘dancing men’ drawn on the blackboard in the shot displayed immediately before this one. It almost looks like the way this man lies there could have some meaning. 

And something else comes to mind: the way John bends over the Viking stunningly resembles the scene from Magnussen’s office in HLV, when Sherlock got shot by Mary. One could even say, there are three potential ‘pirates’ gathered in Magnusson’s bedroom in that scene ... Sherlock, John and ‘Viking descendent’ Magnussen. Interesting ...

The Game is Now - Escape Room Promotion

With the cliffhanger of The Final Problem in mind and still no official announcement regarding a fifth series on the horizon, one could come to the assumption that the ‘TheGameIsNow- EscapeRoom’ event serves as a sort of interlude and somehow resembles a ‘SherlockBBC-Hiatus’ (hopefully). Isn’t it interesting that here too, Scandinavia seems to play a role?

During the conversation with Mycroft, in the intercepted message Nr 1, Sherlock mentions that he currently is in Sweden. 

During the intercepted message Nr 2 a map of Scandinavia is shown in the background with informations regarding its natural recources: iron ore, copper, zinc, gold, IKEA and uranium. 

Additionally Mycroft confirms a second time where his brother might be found at the moment: ‘Missing, rumoured to be in Sweden’ is written below a picture of Sherlock, kept in black and white, but temporarily overlaid with pink and green  (Study in Pink and Green)

Scandinavian canon reference regarding the ‘hiatus’

In Doyle’s original story The Empty House, Sherlock Holmes tells Dr. Watson after their reunion that, for some time during his hiatus, he had stayed in Norway under a fake identity. 

“You may have read of the remarkable explorations of a Norwegian named Sigerson, but I am sure that it never occurred to you that you were receiving news of your friend.” (ACD, The Empty House)

Using Sherlock’s own words from The Great Game, one could say that, by now, the story told in Sherlock BBC as well as the EscapeRoom event have a …  ‘distinctly Scandinavian feeling about it’.  :)

Some Scandinavian side notes outside Sherlock BBC

Not Sherlock related. Should be taken with caution and humor: 

Radio Times, November 2018:  Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss reveale that Danish actor Claes Bang will be playing Dracula in their new series. ‘Hell has a new boss’ says the headline. Strictly speaking, the boss in Hell is generally considered to be the Devil (maybe also his grandma :) but surely not Dracula, who is after all just a human who desired immortal strength to protect and revenge the ones whom he loved. At least, that’s the story told in ….

Dracula Untold  (2014) -  some quotes:

"One day I will call on you to serve me in an immortal game of revenge … to unleash my wrath against the one who betrayed me."

“This is not a game!”

"Oh, what better way to endure eternity. For this, is the ultimate game. Light versus dark, hope versus despair. And all the world's fate hangs into the balance." 

Vlad Dracula meets his creator         Let the games begin

“You want me to shake hands with you in Hell? I shall not disappoint you.“  (Sherlock at Jim Moriarty, TRF)

How Dracula BBC came into being

“It came about several years ago,” Gatiss said. “We were filming  — we’d just started the third series of Sherlock, where he comes back from the dead, and we had to break off after two days to go to the RTS Awards (March, 2013) and I had a picture on my phone of Benedict silhouetted against the door of Mrs Hudson’s room. I showed it to Ben Stephenson, who was then the Head of Drama [at the BBC], and I said, ‘Looks like Dracula’. And he said, ‘Do you want to do it?'”  (RadioTimes, April 2019)

“We’re gonna go all Dane“

The same article from RadioTimes, contains an interview with Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss. When asked about their upcomming mini-series ‘Dracula’, if there will be more ‘homegrown talents’ among the cast, the producers answered the question in their most familiar way - with lots of laughter and giggling - obviously taking much pleasure in the announcement of their new ‘informations’.

“No, no ..., it’s strictly Dane from now on. We're only casting over Denmark. I don’t think Denmark’s being sufficiently represented and so we’re gonna go all Dane.”  

Strictly Danes …. well, well …. I’m more curious than ever ... and extremely exited!  :))))  

On Scandinavian name-giving tradition

It is a well known custom in Scandinavian regions to create personal names based on the given name of one’s father, grandfather or male ancestor by adding the ending -son/-sen/-søn or -dotter/-dottir/-dattir. This is called a patronymic (while the same method based on the mother’s name is called matronymic). A good example for this in Sherlock BBC is the character Charles Augustus Magnussen …. Magnus-sen = son of Magnus. 

This kind of Scandinavian name-giving tradition is based entirely on first names. Just assuming though, this method would also be applied to last names, then ... a female descendent of someone with the family name ‘Bang’ could be named ... ‘Bangsdotter’. :)))

A last funny detail:  the subtitles for Sherlock BBC, Series 4 (British Edition), display the name of the famous Swedish spy, Sherlock invents in TST, as Greta Bengsdotter. The correct spelling of the first name of Greta’s father (used here as patronymic) isn’t Beng though …. but Bengt.

Bengt (female, Bengta) is the Swedish equivalent of … Benedict.   :)))

As I said above ... to be taken with caution and humor.  :)))))

Thanks @callie-ariane for the scripts.    Related post by @tendergingergirl

Mai 2019

[shipcestuous]

Tales of Berseria, part 1 (Submission)

I just finished playing what has become one of my favorite games of all time, Tales of Berseria.  And while it might not be a Fire Emblem game, it’s way up there with FE when it comes to… interesting familial relationships.

There’s a lot of different sibling pairs to talk about here, of different levels of “suggestive,” and I’m going to start off with a submission about the more minor ones, even though they’re all interspersed throughout the story of the most major ones I’m going to talk about in part 2.  And that’s when I’ll get into the plot itself and those most prominent relationships, between the main character Velvet Crowe and various members of her delightfully, tragically screwed up family.

Beware of spoilers and feels.

Rokurou and Shigure:

(Older brother Shigure is on the left; younger brother Rokurou is on the right.)

The first party member that Velvet teams up with is Rokurou Rangetsu, a swordsman whose main motivation is to kill his older brother Shigure in a duel.  That doesn’t sound especially ship-worthy, until you take into account the kind of people that the brothers are.  For both of them, fighting is their life, their one true love… and each of them anticipates fighting the other brother above anyone else.

The two belonged to a family of honor-bound warriors, but their other brothers died young because of that honor.  Only the first and sixth sons lived, and as Shigure was the head of the family with all the adoration that entailed, Rokurou resented him.  He started a rumor that Shigure was a traitor, and ended up being sent on a mission to kill Shigure.  He failed.  He tried and failed again (and again, etc).  He literally became a daemon because his desire to defeat his brother was so powerful.

Near the end of the game, they finally get their big, For Real, Rokurou-actually-has-a-shot-this-time duel to the death.  And let me just say, both brothers are having the time of their lives.  When Rokurou finally manages to deal the killing blow after so, so many failures, it’s obvious that Shigure is immensely proud of how much he’s grown.  He’s happy for his brother, and they have a nice little conversation before he dies.  That duel was the only possible way to clear the air between them, and since fighting is what they love best, it was… almost heartwarming, in a twisted sort of way.

Later, Rokurou says that when they really put their all into fighting each other, “I got this sharp, vivid feeling that pierced straight to my core.  …We wanted to keep on fighting forever, like an unquenchable thirst.  That’s a feeling we only got from each other.“  What a suggestive way to put it.  Surely the writers didn’t word it that way without realizing the implications.  I mean, come on!

Eizen and Edna:

Eizen is another party member of Velvet’s, and we don’t find out for a long while that he has a younger sister.  (Technically, as this is a prequel to the game Tales of Zestiria, most people would already know, but still.)  When he’s caught writing letters, his friends assume he has a girlfriend.  When Eizen is rattled by an enemy’s illusion showing a young girl with an umbrella, again they assume she’s a girlfriend.  Finally, he gets frustrated enough to tell them that it’s his younger sister.

In ToB, we don’t meet Edna directly, though she’s influential in ToZ, but still, Eizen speaks of her in such fond terms.  Even her flaws, he speaks of in a way that makes it obvious how much he loves her.  He also makes it very clear that his little sister is completely off limits to guys.  When he’s labeled “protective,” he disputes the terminology, saying he’s more “obsessed.“  Hmmm.

The two aren’t human.  Malaks, their species, don’t have biological families.  Eizen and Edna were born from the same location… but that alone didn’t make them siblings.  Eizen tells the party that there were many others who were born there, but they never felt like family to him.  But when Edna was born, he felt it right away, drawn to her, like they were meant to be brother and sister.  In a way, that’s even sweeter.

Eizen has a terrible curse on him that brings bad luck on those around him, so he left Edna behind to protect her.  He sends her letters out of guilt, even though she never writes back.  In a sidequest, it’s revealed that she’s tried to write him back but had trouble expressing her feelings adequately.

A brief digression about Tales of Zestiria, which takes place hundreds of years later (malaks can live a while): eventually, Eizen turns into a feral dragon and Edna is forced to mercy kill him, and it’s super sad.  (From what I hear, he’s spared in the anime adaptation, though.)  Still, their bond is sweet as heck.

Oscar and Teresa:

Finally, we come to the most explicitly suggestive sibling relationship of the three, between these two lovelies.  Blonde hair, green eyes… are they secretly Lannisters?  I mean, if the shoe fits…

Oscar and Teresa are members of the Abbey that Velvet is fighting against throughout the game.  However, they’re definitely some of the most sympathetic antagonists in the game from the start.  Oscar is a noble man in more than just social status, and he truly believes in the cause he fights for.  Teresa might seem cold to most people, but she’s warm and loving to Oscar.

The two are half-siblings.  Oscar is the second son of the illustrious Dragonia family, and he was often ignored by his parents in favor of his older brother, the family heir.  The only person who paid him attention was his older half-sister.  As an illegitimate child, Teresa was of a lower social status and was like a servant to the legitimate members of her family, but her little half-brother always treated her with kindness, and as a result, she adored Oscar.  Really, really adored him.

(An aside: Teresa and Oscar are explicitly set up as mirrors of Velvet Crowe and her younger brother Laphicet, but I’ll talk about those two in my next post.  Still, it’s important to note.)

At some point on one of her birthdays, Oscar gifted Teresa a pair of beautiful blue earrings that he’d been entrusted with.  What he didn’t realize at the time was that those earrings were supposed to be a gift for the woman he would eventually marry (a theoretical woman, that is–his only love interest in the canon is Teresa, haha).  When Teresa informs him that he was supposed to give the earrings to the most important woman in his life, the woman he loves most in the world… he smiles and says that, to him, Teresa is the woman he loves most.

That’s right, even knowing that they’re supposed to be for his future wife, he asks Teresa to keep them.  She wears them every time she appears in the game, and he comments on how well they suit her in their first scene together.  If they didn’t look nearly identical, I’m sure a lot of people would’ve assumed they were lovers from their dynamic in that scene.  And to be fair… they’re probably right anyway.

Oscar and Teresa are recurring minor antagonists through a lot of the game, and Teresa’s main motivations are getting revenge on Velvet because Velvet wounded Oscar near the start of the game, and otherwise protecting Oscar.  When Oscar gets a dangerous assignment that’s basically a suicide mission, Teresa concocts a scheme to keep him safe.

She lets herself be taken hostage by Velvet and her party and volunteers to help them stop Oscar’s mission, on the condition that they spare his life.  During this time, Teresa opens up a little bit about her and Oscar’s childhood, strengthening the parallel to Velvet and her own brother.

Then they run into Oscar, and when Oscar is persuaded to drop his weapon to save her life, she breaks free and ends up fusing herself with a daemon (the very thing the Abbey fights so hard against) in order to defeat Velvet and co. and protect Oscar.  Even then, she pleads with Oscar to not look at her when she’s so hideous.  (Her priorities, tho.)  It’s also noteworthy that the daemon is basically the embodiment of lust.  Just in case anyone had any doubts about the nature of Teresa’s feelings for her brother.

Velvet incapacitates her, but then Oscar attacks and she ends up killing him in self-defense.  Teresa is enraged (“you killed my Oscar!”) and attacks, and Velvet ends up mortally wounding her too.  In their dying moments, Teresa crawls over to Oscar, saying she’ll get his wounds all fixed up.  She reaches out with the last of her strength and grasps his hand in hers, and they die like that.  Lying beside each other in a field of white flowers, Teresa clutching Oscar’s hand.

It’s exactly as tragic as it sounds, and their deaths REALLY shake Velvet.  She usually acts like she doesn’t care who she kills (and often really doesn’t care) but in this case, the death of this loving older sister and her beloved younger brother shakes her to her core.  (You’ll understand why once I get into the story with her own brother.)

In the end, Oscar and Teresa do kind of get another chance at life.  They are reincarnated as two of the “Empyreans,” gods of the world, as their souls that were taken by Velvet are used to revive the Empyreans.  So… despite all that sadness, they do get another chance at life, in a way.  It’s not touched upon in-game, because the story’s nearing its end then, but this means they can be together again.  In a way… they almost end up having a happy ending, right?  I can live with that.

–

So that’s all for the more minor sibling relationships in Tales of Berseria.  Next time, I’ll get into the main plot and how it concerns Velvet and her family.  And let me just forewarn you… it’s a doozy.

What a wonderful write-up!!! Thank you so much for all of the details and pictures. I love your passion for the game and you make a really good case for each of the relationships you mentioned. Shippable AND suggestive. I love them all. 

[avenger-hawk]

Sasuke has been shown to prioritise other people's life over his own (vs haku, vs gaara, shielding ONLY naru with susanoo arm when vs juubito even tho his own life was at stake), showing his selfless side, but it is always interpreted as THE OPPOSITE?! "don't touch, he/she is mine!!! sasuke is so possessive over xxx" by -you know who- fans. Sasuke was ready to die for their favourites and that's all they could muster from those scene.

Those people are dumb, that’s why.

They don’t understand Sasuke because they don’t care about understanding him and they associate him to some dark and brooding trope like shojo protective boyfriend or whatever they like. They self-insert with the other side of the ship (be it N*ruto, Itachi, kishi’s canon pairing or everything else) so they like the cool dark guy to be possessive over them. 

(antifandom, antiNaruto, antiSS under the cut)

They’re confused by kishi’s pro-Konoha propaganda and N*ruto wanking, that pushes Sasuke into a villain-ish position on more than one occasion, although even from that they shouldn’t misunderstand him, and if hey do it’s because they’re too dumb. If they were able to think they would see how EACH AND EVERY OF SASUKE’S GOALS WERE NOT RELATED TO HIMSELF, from avenging his family and clan against Itachi to avenging Itachi against Konoha, from protecting the village that Itachi had defended, to creating a new shinobi world and the longlasting peace Itachi had dreamed of, so that no one else would go through what his clan, and most of it all Itachi (never himself, even tho he suffered more than anyone else) had gone through. 

This alone shows how selfless and self-effacing he is. Since the massacre he never considered himself his own person, he just saw himself as an avenger, a tool to carry on the revenge for his parents, and mind you, revenge means justice, like Kirin, the jutsu he invented to bring judgement from the sky, from heaven, to Itachi who destroyed their family. He never made vicious, evil, selfish thoughts about killing Itachi, or even others.

Before the massacre he was a sweet loving child who just wanted to get strong enough to work beside his dad and brother in the police, the only ones he wanted to be acknowledged from. He never made anything about himself, he just wanted to be part of the group of people he most admired. 

Even the way “fans” see him, as crazed and power hungry is OOC and wrong, because Sasuke values strenght and power, of course, but he does it for a purpose, because he wants, he needs to get stronger in order to carry on his goals, and of course he admires the strongest ones and he ignores the others, since he wants to learn from them, or challenge them, like in N*ruto’s case, towards which he would feel a complex a superiority at first, and of inferiority as the story progresses, since N*ruto gets stronger faster than him despite his hard work.  Sasuke isn’t power hungry, he’s actually humble enough to know his own limits and ask for help when he can’t do things alone, like asking N*ruto what S*kura told him about getting up the tree with chakra, or forming Team Taka for his revenge, or asking Tobi/Obito, Orochimaru, then the past Kage about the history of Konoha (ignoring Tobirama’s harsh words against him).

Sasuke’s story is tragic, the pain of loss permeated his whole being, to the point of never being happy for real because he lost too much. As painful as loneliness and being ignored can be N*ruto’s pain is different to the pain of someone who had a family he loved and a brother he loved and admired more than anyone, only to have it taken away from him in such a bloody, dark way, with lies and violence and manipulation marking his soul. The memories of those happy moments stayed in his mind, and every time they came up they were tainted by the blood of his parents, by death everywhere, by Itachi’s cruel words. So much that he devoted his life to them, forgetting himself completely. 

But fans see him as selfish, they like to make jokes on bratty arrogant/emo whiny Sasuke, while they define as selfless those who controlled or tried to control him, pushing their ideals, needs and desires on him. I won’t even mention his canon wife because that’s a marketing move to have a new generation and her manipulation/pushy attemps never made it otherwise. Oh wait I mentioned her. Anyway, I was mostly referring to N*ruto who canonly said the most possessive and “unhealthy” things about Sasuke and to Sasuke (and mind you I am interested in dark Nar*sasu), and who’s by far the most possessive character. 

I am also referring to Itachi (whose reasons I already commented and “defended” every time, but who undoubtedly who controlled Sasuke’s whole life) who controlled Sasuke’s life to an extreme point, manipulating him so that he’d take the path he chose for him, and “entrusting” him to N*ruto in the end. As selfless as Itachi was, as much as his actions were dictated by his love for Sasuke, Sasuke is just as selfless, if not more selfless than him, because he never tried and force Itachi to do as he said and wanted, like during their Edo Tensei encounter, when Sasuke desperately wanted Itachi’s attention and time, but he also respected Itachi’s decision, no matter how painful it was for him.

Even more so, the times Sasuke didn’t do what Itachi had expected was when he didn’t kill N*ruto, which is a selfless act, since it would have granted him mangekyou. Other selfless actions were not killing those Orochimaru wanted him to, freeing all his prisoners without expecting anything, and freeing Team Taka without forcing them to help him back. 

And then there are the moments you mentioned, that are so important to understand him. He saved N*ruto’s life from Haku, and he protected him with Susanoo’s arm, and he shielded him from Gaara and while Haku would have killed him, he wouldn’t have died from being shoved against a tree by Gaara, and yet he did it anyway, even though he was badly hurt and he got more injuries by cushioning N*ruto’s fall. He’s so selfless and caring for those he values important, that he just doesn’t care about himself, he just wants to prevent them from suffering. Even though it means not carrying on his revenge, the purpose of his whole life. That moment he thought that if he didn’t survive that fight it meant that it wasn’t his destiny to avenge his family because he wasn’t strong enough, I don’t remember the exact words but I remember I was moved because that’s someone who doesn’t see himself as valuable or important at all. That’s someone who only sees himself as a tool.

People don’t understand him because he doesn’t blatantly go around saving people and making big-ass statements like your average manga protagonist, in fact he downplays his actions so much that they don’t notice them at all. 

Actually not only I find those ppl you mentioned dumb, I also find most pro-Sasuke fans kinda dumb as well because the way they defend him is superficial and shows a poor understanding of a character that is so complex and amazing that they just don’t seem to grasp.