#ALSO IF YOU STOP FIGHTING FOR EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE IT AS BAD AS YOU WHY WOULD THEY FIGHT FOR YOU
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x : LUST FOR LIFE *+ďž
in which: sunday discovers a new emotion when he's under you.
warnings: 1.5k words, sunday is B(h)ORNY and doesn't know how to deal with it, he wants reader so bad, lowkey implied switch!sunday, gn!reader being sunday's freak awakening, NO SMUT BUT UNDER 16 DNI, not edited
a/n: five likes and i'll write nsfw for sunday
What good is a leader who canât empathise with the lives of the people he was supposed to be leading?
This thought has plagued Sunday ever since he exiled himself from Penacony, since he joined the Astral Express in a journey of self-discovery and reflection, embracing the Nameless lifestyle so he can broaden the horizons that Penacony had restricted. There, he was so detached from the reality of the people he was trying to help, so trapped in a whirlwind of his own ideals to experience humanity, too buried in official duties to rejoice in the many wonders of the universe, the simple pleasures and the grandiose ones.
Since boarding, the former head of the Oak Family has experienced humiliation, desperation, and many close calls with death. It seems he underestimated how easily trouble found the Trailblazers, and the diary he carries with him has been updated with multiple entries, filled with exasperated recounts that ended with him being grateful that he is still well and unscathed.
Sunday has also experienced laughter, connection, and the bond of humankind- something he did not have before. When he controlled the Oak Family, had everyone under or at his fingertips, the only person he could depend on was himself. When Robin left to travel the cosmos, what was he to do than learn the bitter truth of independence and self-sufficiency?Â
Yet, he sits on the couches of the Astral Express and there is bound to be another by him, trying to converse with him like an old friend. He is mentioned in the conversations like an individual who they keep around because they want to, not because he is crafty, not because of what he can offer. No, he canât offer anything right now, and the crew still wants him to stay.
He learns more about humanity with each passing day.
However, perhaps one of the more puzzling feelings Sunday has had to confront was⌠infatuation.Â
Itâs a tricky feeling. It sends his heart into overdrive and his limbs to become jelly, and at the epicentre of this hurricane of uncharted territory, is you.Â
âSunday?â Your voice comes through muffled from the other side of the door. He almost jumps off his mattress at the sound.Â
âDoor is open,â he responds as calmly as possible, heart thrumming alive at the sound of your voice, beating in time with the rapid succession of your knocks.Â
The door slides open slowly to reveal you on the other side. âPom Pom just wanted to let everyone know that we will be jumping soon.âÂ
âI see, thank you for letting me know.â
âNo problem,â your gaze then flickers to the angels that flock around him and he watches as your eyes gleam with fascination.
Then, without any hesitation or reluctance, you enter his room and approach him, the door sliding closed without your weight to hold it open. You stop before him without a bow, without a formal greeting of âMr. Sundayâ- no, you stop before him like an equal, which you most certainly are. In fact, he would even think of himself below you, but Sunday needs to unlearn this assumption of hierarchy, needs to not let it define the relationships he forms, even if he looks up to you and finds you reverent.Â
âHey, Iâve never seen these little guys before!â You exclaim, sticking out a hand to act like a perch for the angel-like summons. One of them flits up to you and stays on your outstretched finger. âWell, not this close, at least.â
It keens at your praise. Like owner like summon, Sunday supposes.
âI donât tend to bring them out. They are for combat purposes,â he explains.Â
Your eyes widen slightly. âAre you trying to pick a fight with me right now?âÂ
âWhat? No! Thatâs not it-â
â-Iâm kidding, Sunday,â you snicker. âWeâre friends, I wouldnât want to fight you.â
âRight,â he exhales, âI wouldnât want to fight you either.â
âBesides, we already did once.â
He freezes at the memory, remembers when he got hit with the exact train he is currently boarding.Â
You, however, are unphased by the recollection, and even continue to rub salt in the wound. âI remember fighting against these little summons too, your owner was a real meanie, do you guys know that?âÂ
They flock around you, spinning and fluttering like little fireflies. Instinctively, Sunday covers his flustered expression with his wings, and he doesnât budge, even when he hears your laugh, the sound almost enough for him to melt into a puddle by your feet.
âHey, hey, I was kidding, sorry if I took the joke too far.âÂ
He uncovers himself with an embarrassed sigh, not meeting your eyes. âItâs okay, I think the memory is just⌠humiliating, more than anything.â
âThere are no more hard feelings. Everyone has accepted you on board and none of us think of you to be the same person you were when we first met, I promise.â
Your words are completely earnest, Sunday knows it, can feel it in the way you tell him so unabashedly. So who is he to deny it?
âThank you,â he says, finally looking up at you, âit means a lot to hear that.âÂ
âIâll say it as much as you need. Well, Iâll get out of your hair now, just prepare for the jump-â
Your sentence is interrupted by a shriek when you lose your footing, and Sunday feels it too, the force so strong that even he, while sitting, feels as if is being stretched and pulled into a miniscule hole. What he also feels is your body colliding on top of his, and his hands come to your waist to catch you in an attempt to prevent you from slipping, but itâs not enough and heâs falling with you onto the expanse of his made bed.
The Express is warping to some expanse of the universe, and his stomach drops at the sensation, spreading to the ends of his nerves before disappearing, just replaced by the extremely odd feeling of being pulled through the stars. He just hopes youâre comfortable, standing up whilst warping is tough, he heard the stories of when Stelle first tried to do it and how she fell flat on her face.Â
When the feeling of normality returns and Sunday doesnât feel like he has been stretched out, he opens his eyes and tries to take in the sight before him.
You. Your face. Centimetres away from his.
Heâs always thought you were pretty, but seeing you this close⌠perhaps just pretty is an understatement. His gaze unwillingly flicks to your lips and he wished he hadnât because suddenly the urge to sit up and lick into your mouth is raging; a fire that canât be contained.Â
Sunday wants you to push him down by the shoulders, with no gentleness or mercy, and just⌠devour him whole. His hands want to find you by the hips and pull you into him more than humanly possible, he wants you to indent yourself onto him so he can remember your taste forever, so that, in a way, you couldnât ever leave him.Â
Alternatively, he would happily flip around and pin you against the mattress. He would pry you open, explore the cavern of your mouth with his tongue and suck your sacred essence out of you so that it can stay and settle in his bones instead, replacing where marrow should be. He wants to lay you vulnerable so his hands can explore places only you want him to touch, wants to take you so that you stay forever, wants to feel your tongue against his, wants to hold your face and feel how you react when he takes his time cherishing you, revering you.Â
This feeling is too much, these thoughts are overpowering, yet nothing has ever been more clear. Sunday wants you, lusts for you, even, and heâs never felt so intensely for someone before.Â
How would the symphonies sound when they learn of the atrocities he wants to perform?Â
Temptation holds him close and infects him with a desire so strong, heâs practically frozen in place as you recover from the shock, holding yourself up with your arms that were on either side of his head.Â
âOw, Iâm sorry!â You immediately exclaim, before realising exactly what position you are in, your chests are pressed together, and youâre mortified to think about how close you were before you picked yourself off him, and- his⌠his hips⌠are pressed against yours- okay, you needed to leave as soon as possible.
You scramble off him like he had burnt you, frantically shouting apologies whilst doing so, the words clumsy and rushed, but neither of you can deny how you miss the warmth that was suddenly ripped away.Â
(If he wanted to, you could have stayed in that position with him.)
Then, before you could get anymore thoughts, you turn and practically bolt out of his room without another word, leaving a hot and bothered Sunday behind.
Š EARTHTOOZ 2024, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
#earthtooz: honkai star rail#sunday x reader#hsr x reader#sunday hsr x reader#sunday fluff#honkai star rail x reader
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arcane music headcanons expect I'm objectively correct
Jinx
Ghost and Pals, Will Wood and the Tapeworms, Mother Mother, Melanie Martinez, Corpse, Set It Off, Poppy Nightcore, Gorillaz, etc.
You know those really bad playlist for characters with like, extremely unfitting songs that have an abnormal amount of Mother Mother in them? Yeah. She's the one making those.
If it was a TikTok audio for a Danganronpa cosplayer in 2020 she probably has it on loop
Listens to shitty modern day Hyperpop and it sounds like ASS
She listened to a undertale fansong nightcore cover on her school Chromebook and it genuinely changed her life for the worst. She was on Wattpad with Angel with a Shotgun BLASTING through her skull candy earbuds she stole off of a kid.
She's never been to a concert and that's for everyone's sake. She would have the absolutely worst concert etiquette to ever exist.
Once she matures she becomes an IPC diehard. She is at a Juggalo concert with her shirt off throwing Fuego and probably getting pulled over after.
Vi
Twenty One Pilots, Hozier, Florence and The Machine, Weezer, The Smiths, Ghost, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Queen, System of a Down, Nancy Sinatra, etc
She says she's not a big music fan and that she just listens to whatever's on the radio but that is a lie.
She's not normal about Florence and The Machine. Anytime she's about to have a breakdown she puts Dog Days Are Over on full blast inside her truck. She's been in the top percent of her listeners for 5 years straight now.
She listens to exclusively bands that a guy in a guitar store would brag about listening to saying they were totally indie and no one would know them. She owns a vinyl player. She's not as pretentious, but still.
Hozier is like, the one guy in all of history that she somewhat is attracted to. His music is a borderline religious experience. She went to one of his concerts with Ekko and cried so hard she got sick. As soon as they were in the hotel she chugged a bottle of honey whiskey and passed out. She has not been the same since.
She HATES Jinx's music with like, a genuine passion. She will smack Jinx's hand if she tries to change her music. they are fighting like rabid dogs for who gets the aux cord
Caitlyn
Taylor Swift, Chappel Roan, Mitski, Kate Bush, The Cardigans, The Crane Wives, Sabrina Carpenter. Billie Elish, etc
She's relatively normal about music. Most of the time she just has white noise on whenever she's working. However, if she needs to do a long drive or something and doesn't want to listen to the radio, she WILL be playing all of Taylor Swifts discography
Shes not a Swiftie, but she listens to it enough that she got Jayce into it. She's way more a fan of her older music though.
Most of the music she listens to sounds like breakup music. Like it's always weirdly somber and full of anguish. She will also occasionally listen to a song about family issues and clearly not be okay.
Again, not really a music fan. However, this has not stopped Jayce from seeing her in her car scream-crying to Good Luck Babe. He is so worried for her and she just acted so calm after.
She thinks Vi has such unique tastes and will end up growing to like a lot of Vi's music too. Disgusting. I think they kiss during a Hozier song playing and everyone thinks they're disgusting.
Ekko
Tyler The Creator, Gorillaz, Poor Mans Poison, Los Campesinos, The Oozes, Pavement, AJJ, The Front Bottoms, Jhariah, Jack Stauber, Djo, etc.
The only one with objectively good music tastes in the entirety of this group. He's the kind of person to genuinely mean it when he says he listens to everything. The only music he doesn't really love is modern country, but he fucks heavily with almost everything.
The only artist that's super consistent and someone he actively gets excited for when there's a new release is Tyler the Creator. He enjoys music as an art form rather than something to just listen to, and he loves Tyler's vision and how he makes it an experience.
He listens to a LOT of Legend of Zelda soundtracks. If his favorite video game has a soundtrack he will have that on loop for days. His Spotify Wrapped is consistently fucked because of this.
He took Vi to the Hozier concert because she kept asking and he got into Hozier before she did. He has a video of her drunk-crying in her hotel bed about it. It was genuinely such a magical experience for them both though.
He got Jinx into Gorillaz as a way to try and get her to like. better music. And it backfired so bad. He's the one pushing her to like ICP.
Jayce
Taylor Swift, Sabrina Carpenter, Olivia Rodrigo, Chappel Roan, Charli xcx, Doja Cat, Kesha, Lady Gaga, Ayesha Erotica, Shakira, P!NK. etc
Do NOT take away his basic white girl music he will DIE!!!!!! he will die SO BAD!!!!!
He got into Taylor Swift due to Caitlyn and now he's the bigger Swiftie. Genuinely has started collecting all her albums. He is so obsessed with her music it is a little concerning.
He will blast Juno by Sabrina Carpenter on full blast while working and it annoys the genuine fuck out of Viktor. He is not doing this to annoy him, he's trying to get Viktor to like his kind of music.
Vi has been begging him to listen to literally anything else. Viktor is also begging, but he's starting to give up.
He went to a Sabrina Carpenter concert with Mel and he ended up getting the fuzzy pink handcuffs and he will NEVER stop talking about it. He has them hanging on his wall alongside a picture of him on the screen.
Viktor
The Hoosiers, The Oh Hellos, American Murder Song, The Taxpayers, Poor Mans Poison, Orville Peck, Gene Aubrey, Johnny Cash, Hozier, etc
Again, objectively good music tastes. He tends to listen to old country or folk music. He likes a song that tells a story and has a lot of heart in it.
If you put modern day country on the radio he will die. If he has to listen to a "I LOVE BEER AND TRUCKS" song one more time he's going to throw himself onto the highway full speed. He despises that genre of music more than anything else on the entirety of this Earth.
He is also a huge Hozier fan, and has been since Take Me to Church blew up while he was in his religious guilt era. He went to the same concert as Vi but they didn't know they were there. He cried so hard at that concert he got sick. It was more than a religious experience for him.
He has been trying to get Jayce to listen to Orville Peck or Hozier for MONTHS. He's not allowed Jayce to play his music ever. It's working very slowly.
He thinks about Jayce while listening to Hozier and contemplates ending it all while Jayce is playing BRAT in the lab. Genuinely couldn't be a worse situation for him actually.
Mel
See, I know most will say she would have amazing music tastes but I can't agree. I don't think she cares. She listens to whatever is on the radio. Her Spotify Wrapped is consistently fucked because she uses her phone as a speaker at like parties or during long car rides.
She doesn't have a preference when it comes to music. Her liked playlist of songs is close to 500 and it's just whatever songs anyone has sent her. She will put it on shuffle and get Halls of Illusions by Insane Clown Posse back to back with fucking Someone New by Hozier. It's bad.
She is not paying attention to what she's listening to. She blocks it out so well that she can't really pay attention to it. If she's forced to pick music, it'll just be whatever Jayce has made her listen to in the past week and a half.
She went to a Sabrina Carpenter concert with Jayce purely because she saw all the videos and thought it would be fun. Her and Jayce were dorking out. She could not match his energy though, and she loves him so much but she is never going to a concert with him again.
#arcane#league of legends#lol#headcanons#jayvik#caitvi#music headcanons#THIS IS NOT SERIOUS. BTW.#timebomb
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Jeckole Yapping
Had to dig through my old posts to find the template, but I'm bored and doing this again but for Jecka and Nicole this time. Mostly headcanons and such below
__
⢠When or if I started shipping it:
I'm going to be honest, but I don't remember. I only got into Co09 a few months ago. All I know is that once I watched the out of context videos on Class of '09 and Re-Up, I wanted more content of them and came across a lot of really good fanart and fanfic.
I think there were a lot of boxes checked off when I slowly went down the rabbit hole lol. There's an emotionally constipated dark-girl paired with a preppy blonde girl who acts as the former's foil. I think what really drew me into them, fanart aside, were the foils and parallels between them. The codependency, expanded upon by Progman, was probably the final nail that dragged me down the brainrot.
⢠My thoughts:
I've known about them for awhile, and thought they were some random white girls in a cult classic VN that somehow regained a surge of popularity last year. I didn't know the VN was relatively new, and most of the time when I do ship Jeckole, it's without the creator in mind. They have a certain flavor to them that hits in a way where I can't stop brainrotting over them.
Someone mentioned this in a fic comment, but they see them as foils when it comes to dealing with people and the world around them--where Nicole acts as this snarling animal that will bite you if you get too close, while Jecka acts as this wall that doesn't allow things to get to her even if it does bother her. In a way, they envy each other for that, and after reading that fic it reinforced why their dynamic is one that I gravitate towards compared to the others. They have pieces of each other that they're missing and they can't live without the other (I love codependent Jeckole).
⢠What makes me sad about them:
In-game, they probably wouldn't last after high school when they go their separate ways. As much as Nicole sees Jecka as a slightly more "special" person to her than most people at the school, their friendship is more for convenience--with Nicole finding Jecka to be more tolerable and cool compared to everyone else (along with the added bonus of not being a loner), and Jecka finding Nicole more fun to hang around with than all her other school friends despite knowing how much Nicole is a fucked up mess and bad influence. In-game Nicole is also someone who would continue to keep everyone at an arm's length and also wouldn't fight too hard (outside of the Jecka and counselor smoking scene) to maintain any meaningful relationships once they're out of her reach.
But also, who cares what the creator thinks because fanart and fanfic exists lmaoooooo.
⢠What makes me happy about them:
There's a scene in Flip Side where Nicole calls Jecka first thing in the morning at 7am asking her where McDonald's keeps their frozen patties, only for Jecka to say they don't have them because McD serves breakfast during those hours. Then Jecka calls Nicole stupid, and I just found that scene funny in an oddly comforting way.
Nicole is comfortable enough to bug Jecka and wake her up so early in the morning for something so mundane, while Jecka just stays on the phone listening to whatever antics she's in instead of hanging up immediately and going back to bed. I also mentioned this in another post, but someone on Twitter said the thing they love most about Jeckole is how Nicole was willing to get to know Jecka even after saying she has no desire to make any connections at her new school. It can be interpreted as a convenience thing on Nicole's end, but every route in the original game has her willing to either ask for Jecka's name or share her name when they first meet.
To me, their back and forth dynamic keeps them balanced enough to stay fucked up with the potential of becoming well-adjusted in the future.
⢠Things done in art/fic that annoys me:
There's a number of interpretations when it comes to the Co09 characters, so I understand it can be hard to write them. But for me personally, I'm not a fan of when Nicole is depicted as either way too nice and uncharacteristically soft or way too mean and following the stereotypical SBN interpretation that "Nicole doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything".
⢠Things I look for in art/fic:
When they're codependent :) or when they're codependent with a slight chance of them getting healthier over time. Also, just them being stupid together.
I'm also one of the few people (I haven't come across too many others yet) that seek out future Jeckole stuff. Whenever I picture them as adults, it's always aurawra21's art in mind.
⢠Who Iâd be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:Â
I'm a monoshipper when it comes to Class of '09, so probably no one. It adds to that codependent flavor :) but if you want a real answer...
For Nicole, probably Emily.
For Jecka, probably Emily also.
⢠My happily ever after for them:
Moving out of their town, healing from their trauma, and getting healthier over time. Maybe they won't be better people exactly, but they'd at least be less fucked up and a little happier (with Nicole finding some will to keep living past 30) after cutting off their toxic families.
⢠What is their favorite activity?:Â
Nicole forcing Jecka to watch Mythbusters and How It's Made with her (in exchange for watching Smallville and Charmed with Jecka). Also, probably smoking together, assuming that Jecka hasn't quit her smoking habit ten years later.
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tag the oc that's most likely to get stuck in a time loop and what kind of time loop it would be
#I feel like Kyana has time loop potential but idk what the exact loop would be#maybe the loop is the entirety of DAO and she keeps getting companions killed/locked into their Bad Endings#and the loop only stops when she manages to get them all to survive the Blight#something something she needs to learn to be a good leader and care about others#unsuccessful loops reset via the archdemon killing her (even if the dark ritual was performed)#Selene gets the classic 'your love interest keeps dying and you try to stop it' time loop#to escape the loop she must Let It Happen (and then it turns out it's fine and everyone survives)#Secret gives me the vibe of someone who knows they're in a time loop but has given up on trying to solve it#she's just going through it. trying everything. keeping herself entertained. trying to stay sane#sometimes she clues Varric in on the looping. sometimes she doesn't#actually maybe her time loop rule is that someone else has to save her from it. nothing she does by herself will work#idk what the exact reset point would be#I'm thinking the Arishok fight maybe. or Meredith#I don't think it would go as far as the Fade#also. after writing Homecoming I did have the thought of a time loop story#with Dorian as the one being trapped and trying to prevent Neil from dying/becoming possessed#maybe in his case he's not really trapped. he can stop anytime he wants but he keeps choosing to go back#the reset point is something Solas-related maybe#herearedragons meta#oc: kyana amell#oc: watcher selene#oc: secret hawke#oc: neilar lavellan#oh. actually. Aqun would be pretty fun to put in a time loop#that runs over some part of DAI and/or Trespasser#Adina is his time loop buddy (the person he usually tells about the loop because she immediately believes him)#idk what his reset/escape condition would be though#maybe in his case it's something purely mechanical#like there's no lesson to be learned it's just a magical anomaly he's trapped on#and on a meta level the 'lesson' is accepting that not everything has a Purpose or a Reason
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btw if you come on my blog to compare types of queerness in bad faith I'm blocking you. I don't care what you have to say at all and respect is gone. You are quite literally sowing division of community and doing THE EXACT SAME THING THAT THE LGB PEOPLE DO. Of COURSE different individuals will always have it worse than others. YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE WILL ALWAYS FEEL WORSE THAN OTHERS AND TO FIGHT TO MAKE IT SO YOUR LABEL IS SEEN AS THE WORST CASE SCENARIO IS ACTUALLY STUPID.
#like a white cis gendered HIV+ gay man who lives in poverty and has a family that puts him on the street#is not personally better off that a white trans man with a loving family and access to health care and money#THINK INTERSECTIONALLY I'M BEGGING YOU#LIFE IS ABOUT COMMUNITY AND SUPPORT#AND SOME PEOPLE HAVE NONE#AND SOME PEOPLE HAVE ALL#AND PAYING ATTENTION TO A SINGLE LABEL IS SO FUCKING STUPID#ALSO IF YOU STOP FIGHTING FOR EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE IT AS BAD AS YOU WHY WOULD THEY FIGHT FOR YOU#IT'S COMMMMMMUNITYYYYYYYYYYYYY#like god get a grip and realize it's effort#everything is effort for everyone#and everyone FUCKING DESERVES IT
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Little things that improved my life đđËâ
Accepting my sleep schedule. I'm a night owl; I focus at night, I'm calm at night, I'm motivated at night. For a long time, I tried to fight this since everyone always preaches getting up early, but since I started accepting my natural sleep schedule, I've been feeling a lot better and have become way more productive.
"drink more water". TEA. Tea is the secret here. I will be honest, I hate drinking water; it doesn't matter if I have a cute water bottle or a cute glass, I still hate it. TEA.
Replying quickly. I used to be one of those people who get a text message and think, "Oh, I'll reply to that later", and then just forget about it entirely. Now, I text back as soon as I see the message. This has not only improved my texting anxiety (which I cause on my own by now replying and then feeling bad) but also deepened my connection to my friends. <3
Keeping my circle small and being okay with that. Over the past months, I've had this sudden urge to expand my social circle and get to know more and more people, especially after I moved in August. However, this quickly ended in what I like to call my "social burnout". I was tired, annoyed, and overwhelmed. It took a few weeks for it to settle, but I've come to the conclusion that I would much rather have a smaller circle of people who I trust and love deeply than a huge group of friends, and that's totally okay.
Wearing what I like. Even though I live in a big city, I'd still say that my style can sometimes be a bit more extravagant than what most people wear, another point is that I'm very uncomfortable with pants so I only wear skirts, which is also considered a bit odd where I live. But over the past years, I've come to accept that and have become so sure of myself and found such comfort in my style that I now just wear whatever I like, and it makes every day a little bit nicer.
Reading and writing for pleasure. Reading books outside of my studies and spending time researching topics that simply interest me is such a great way to calm your mind. Same for writing, I always like to say that to write is to think; putting your thoughts on paper in cohesive and well-crafted sentences that you can then reread and think over again is such a liberating thing to do.
Reaching out more. fuck the whole "double texting" and "no contact" thing. If you want to speak to someone because they mean something to you, then just do it. Unless they specifically asked for space, you shouldn't feel bad about wanting to be in touch with them. Many even really appreciate it when you show that you truly care. Let's stop the nonchalant act, and instead, let's face deep emotions and true vulnerability. <3
As always, please feel free to share your own little insights and things that helped you improve comments! <3
my insta:Â @ malusokay
love ya シ:*ââ§âŠ
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Kim's itchy trigger finger
So, Kim reaches for his gun often. Very often. sometimes for the most ridiculous reasons- opening the bear fridge, the experiment in the church, a note from Klaasje.
This one is just from being anxious going into the communist reading group. Kim doesn't want to be the kind of cop who draws his gun constantly, who shoots instinctively, but he is, or at the very least it's very difficult for him to stop himself from becoming one.
Perhaps the most horrifying example is with The Pigs-
Even if he KNOWS the gun isn't loaded, even if he knows it's safe, the instinctual muscle twitch could have ended in an unnecessary death. Kim is very well aware of that fact, and it's horrifying to him. @shufflerock-jam has this really good post about it, where they wonder how many of Kim's kills were unnecessary. "Something about a pair of traumatized cops, one fighting against shooting himself and one fighting against shooting everyone else".
At the end of The Pigs exchange, if Harry says she tried to kill him, Kim begins to interject, but stops himself and agree this situation could've been very bad. Then Empathy chimes in- 'He's trying not to think about how bad it could have been had the gun been loaded.' Which is the heart of the issue, right? that leads us to Eyes-
This is such a fascinating background to give Kim as a character- not just losing his partner, which gives him the trauma and survivor's guilt that lead to this unhealthy relationship with his gun and frankly with death in general, but losing his Eyes, and having that not interfere with his shooting. Kim doesn't need to see well to hit, he doesn't need to think. It's all in his hands, a reflex. A reflex that nearly took an innocent life. That might have taken one before.
His awareness of looming danger, to him and to his partner, is fueling his version of Hand/Eye Coordination to have him constantly on edge, his whole body is like a loaded spring, always prepared to make sure it doesn't happen again. Then it does-
In his nightmare scenario, leaning over his partner's bleeding body, Kim only needs one word to shoot without a second's hesitation. He's never not ready to take that shot. He doesn't need his Eyes.
Harry is distraught to discover he's killed before- his body remembers it. He wants a drink to soften the feeling. Kim however is impressed with how little he's killed- especially coming from the bloody murder unit. He wants to be 'one of the good ones' (Kim's adamant belief in the possibility of a Good Cop is a whole other can of worms) the kind of cop he would think highly of. Kim is disgusted by cops who kill like it's a game. Espirit gives us a vision of a cop exactly like that, who kills so often it doesn't feel like anything anymore. In a way that is completely mechanical- no thought, no feelings, just a thing your body does. Not unlike the way Kim shoots- like a spring unloaded. Kim has 6 confirmed kills before the tribunal, double the amount Harry has. He doesn't react the same way though-
It's doesn't bother Kim that he has killed, even if he declines to elaborate on it, and he seems to frown upon (or worry about) Harry's destructive coping mechanism. If they're unable to save Ruby, he says "Control your emotions. We did our job. This won't be the worst thing that happens on this case⌠believe me. You can't let this break you." When you wake up after the tribunal, he doesn't dwell on the lost lives on either side. Harry's skills call him a killer, a bloodstained killer, but when he tells Kim he also killed he simply nods. He's smoking though. I'm not saying that Kim is heartless or careless, he's rattled by nearly blowing The Pigs' head off, very sorry for the lives lost during the case, and clearly hunted by death, having been surrounded by it for his entire life. But I do think death is a part of the job for him- not just possible civilian causalities, but his own potential death. He speaks plainly about how he might die in the lie of duty, and he narrowly avoided it more than once, with others dying in his place..
He walked into the line of fire with harry expecting for of them to die, and his quick fingers on the trigger made it so they lived another day. Even if more ghost joined the list that hunts him in his sleep, he is alive. He goes on. He can't afford to fix this habit, as much as he wants to.
So it's so horrible and so touching that when Dros asks "What have you done?" Kim says-
It's a tragedy, really. A wartime orphan who wanted to be a revolutionary pilot and played with Franconigerian knights, who grew up to be a cop, a job that slowly shapes his body into a killing machine. And when you ask what he does, what you both do, he says keep people alive.
#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#harry du bois#disco Elysium meta#de#de analysis#de meta#this is so long and i'm sure it's been done a dozen times before but i'm new here and i can't stop thinking about it#goddamn this game#đş#juha.txt
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hey I need you SO BAD to do like an arcane reaction where theyâre drunk and what they do/say while it and btw I love your writing
What Arcane characters are like when drunk. | Vi, Caitlyn, Jinx, Ekko, Sevika x Gn!Reader
So this may have become a little too angsty for some of them, so uh... don't mind me-
Also, thank you so much! I'm glad you love my writing. It means a lot to me!<33
Content: Alcohol obviously, some potential heavy angst, Pit fighter Vi, established romantic relationships, some toxic behavior, this has been written by someone who has never drank a sip of alcohol in their life so I'm sorry if this is unrealistic, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns.
((Not fully proofread))
ăVI
Her being drunk wasn't unusual, and in fact, it has become the norm for her at this point. It was the only way for her to numb the agony she was going through every day, and there was no stopping the cycle she was in. If she wasn't drunk, then she was fighting. But even the line that was drawn between those two states she was constantly in was becoming blurry and unintelligible. Things were getting out of hand, and so was her aggression towards everything that moved, anything that cared for her.
But at least you were still here with her, trying your best to keep her together and intact when she refused to be.
She can be cruel and unfocused whilst drunk, often either yelling or punching things to express her frustrations, and yet she never dared hurt you. You were the only light she had left, and she'd be damned if she snuffed you out, too. But this doesn't mean that she can control her words at times. She says things she regrets all the time, insults that cut deep or accusations that made no sense were common. Yet you stayed, you always stayed.
A part of her knows you deserve better, but until Jinx showed up, she refused to wane off the bottle that kept her even partially functioning daily. In a different life, she'd put the bottle down, however, and just finally hug you instead.
ăCAITLYN
She doesn't drink much, and when she does, it's in strict moderation. She has a reputation to keep up and can't let her sharp senses falter at any time, especially once she becomes the commander of Piltover. But when it's just the two of you attempting to relax after an impossibly stressful day, the alcohol helps her relax and become more open with her troubles. Her grief had manifested into an uncontrollable force she shyed away from every speaking on, but in drunken moments like these, she'll allow herself to find melancholy in your arms, her flushed face pressed into your shoulder as she did so.
She may cry or laugh of the worries of the day, maybe break down from the guilt and frustrations, let the anger quell over but only still hesitantly even with her judgment clouded. This is a very rare state to see her in after the loss of her mother, and she trusts you to keep this vulnerable part of her safe and sound in your heart behind locked lips.
With that said, knowing how emotional she can get whilst drunk, she tries avoiding drinking too much during functions in case things get too much out of hand. She'd rather not make a fool of herself infront of everyone after all.
ăJINX
She doesn't typically drink. But the few times she does with you at her side, she somehow becomes extremely calm and lazy. She'll practically lay in the chair she was sitting in, eyes squinting at a far away point on the wall, whilst she seemingly contemplates life. Most would think that the alcohol would enable her crazy tendencies even more, but alas, it simply turns her mostly docile.
I say mostly, as she usually mentally comes up with the craziest plans instead, all of which are questionably more unethical than the last. She'll eventually lose herself in those thoughts and become either unresponsive or mutter the silliest, incomprehensible things known to man. And there is certainly no in-between.
With that said, she will probably eventually snap out of it and begin rapidly speaking about all these thoughts to you without a single care in the world. Drunk Jinx is somehow less miserable and yet absolutely doesn't like the feeling of it afterward. Sure, it makes her mind stop thinking about her issues and past, but it still feels wrong, hence why it's rare to see her drunk.
Her terrible hangovers alone also cause her to stay away from alcohol in general. It's definitely not worth that pain to her.
ăEKKO
Another person who doesn't drink often at all, albeit out of his responsibility as a leader. He has to be a good role model for everyone and only drinks when the occasion calls for it, like a festival or get together with friends and you. That's when he lets loose a little and allows himself to drink more than he probably should, resulting in a very clingy and loving Ekko.
His alcohol tolerance is embarrassingly low, and he always tells himself that he should know better than to down so many glasses at once... yet it's hard to keep count after about 2 and a half of them. Or so he'd say after he sobers up in the morning, much to your amusement. During the time he's fully hammered, though, he'll always have a hand in you and slur his words rather heavily, whilst he practically near proclaims his love for you for everyone to hear. This often results in you having to slap a hand over his mouth before he embarrasses himself further... which is somehow he hates.
He gets teased by the others all the time for it and glares when they mock his loving tone of voice that he only uses when he's in that impaired state with you. This alone makes him abstain from even a singular drop of alcohol... until the next festival roles around and he forgets to keep count again.
But hey, maybe he'll remember next time because you sure as hell won't remind him.
ăSEVIKA
She drinks at bars all the time with you, although it's rare to see her ever get completely drunk. She has an extremely high tolerance to alcohol and it shows when there is barely a difference in her behavior. The only thing that may indicate something influencing her would be a slight slur in her voice and her being unwilling to get up or move around much at all. She'll just want to relax and play poker in peace, even if it starts getting hard to see the cards after a while.
Another way to tell that she may be getting drunk is by her sudden overprotectiveness. Sure, it was always there and never left, despite you being able to handle yourself alone. But when she's drunk, anyone that looks at you for too long in a way she doesn't like will either be punched in the face or yelled at to keep it moving.
She also definitely always denys being drunk or even tipsy when you ask her. Whether out of pride or stubbornness, you'll never know, but she will never admit to it. It doesn't matter if she denies it whilst being unable to walk straight either.
#arcane#arcane x genderneutral reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane x reader#arcane vi#arcane vi x reader#vi#vi x reader#arcane jinx#arcane jinx x reader#arcane caitlyn x reader#arcane caitlyn#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn kiramman#arcane ekko#arcane ekko x reader#ekko#ekko x reader#arcane sevika x reader#arcane sevika#sevika x reader#sevika
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where thereâs sparks, thereâs fire!
pairing: patrick zweig x fem!reader
summary: you canât tell if patrick hates you as much as you hate him. every time you see him heâs constantly talking to you, touching you, trailing behind you. but heâs only doing all that to piss you off. you think back to tashi telling you itâs obvious that he wants to fuck you. you donât see it. patrick wants to fuck everyone, youâre not special.
âor: patrick zweig is a slut. you can't stand him.
word count: 4.6k
contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, p in v, rough sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it yâall!), public sex (doing it in a coat closet lmao), more hate sex, swearing, fighting as foreplay, light choking, light hair pulling, degradation, even more hints of mean!reader cause i really do live for that shit, tashi and reader are cute besties always, porn with a little plot, no use of y/n.
authorâs note: i originally wanted to post a tashi fic next but i realized i don't have any like actual full on plot filled patrick works lmao i felt bad neglecting him and my patrick girlies so yeah. once again had literally so much fun writing this, like i hardcore love this niche!!! i ride so hard for it!!! the tashi fic i'm working on also falls into this category lols and yes this is fourth of july themed and it's late shut up i cannot write fast for the life of me...anyway! to the anons who requested something like this, hope you love it! okay bye mwah xoxo.
Patrick Zweig is a huge slut.
Everyone knows that. He doesn't even go to Stanford but he's still somehow managed to sleep with a third of the girls on campus, maybe even more than a few guys too if the rumors going around are true.
You hate him. Hate isn't even a strong enough word. You loathe him. You despise him. You detest him. Pick any other fancy synonym, the point still stands. You just really fucking hate him.
It blows your mind that someone as sweet and angelic as Art would be best friends with someone like him. Someone who's so obnoxious, so arrogant, so crass. Artâs the guy that goes out of his way to protect you from the gross frat bros at parties, only to bring his very own as a plus one.
Sigma Nu throws a rager every year on the fourth, extending invites to those who are still in Stanford for the summer. The womenâs tennis team is always invited, and Tashi always ends up convincing you to go. Well, sheâs less convincing than she is more forcing you, but itâs basically the same thing to her anyway. She did your makeup and wrestled you into a Hollister dress, vowing to get you laid as she straightened your hair.
Tashiâs almost more invested in your sex life than you are, constantly hand-picking guys on campus for your consideration. She actually offered up Patrick once when you told her you wouldnât fuck any of the guys on campus at all. The two of you were practicing, she suggested it as casual as ever while returning your serve. You were so shocked you stopped in your tracks, letting the ball fly right past you. She assured you she wouldnât mind if you did, that what the two of them had was quote âNothing serious, heâs just a really good fuck.â and that you should âTotally do it. He definitely wants to fuck you, I can tell.âÂ
You just brushed her off, ignored the way she smirked knowingly at you over the net. Your cheeks burned as you served again, you wrote it off as annoyance. As if you would ever let Patrick Zweig fuck you.
You lost Tashi when she took off to the bathroom, texting you that sheâd be a while thanks to a long line outside the door. You were leaning against a wall nursing a half-empty cup of jungle juice when he came up to you. You canât remember his name, you think it starts with a B. Something like Brandon? Or maybe Brian? One or the other.
Heâs Sigma Nuâs secretary, you sit three seats down from him in your economics lecture. Tashi says he has a crush on you, and heâs nice for a frat guy but heâs definitely not your type. Heâs been droning on about his upcoming trip to his family's summer house in Cabo for almost ten minutes. You try your best to seem interested, humming and nodding every couple seconds. Youâre in the middle of tuning him out when a loud, familiar voice calls out your name.Â
âThere you are!â Patrick Zweig shouts from a few feet away, ugly American flag patterned flip flops smacking against the ground as he makes his way over to you. Heâs wearing a bright red button down and white cargo shorts you scrunch your nose up at. Heâs tanner than the last time you saw him, legs long and even more toned. âIâve been looking everywhere for that pretty face.â He coos sweetly, his hand that isn't holding a bottle of Bud Light comes up to pinch your cheek.
You scoff, smacking his hand off your face. âYou found me, so you can go bother someone else now,â you say, rubbing your cheek lightly. âBye.â You press, waving your hand dismissively when he makes no move to walk away.
Patrick grins, unfazed by your reaction, he steps in even closer. âYeah, I missed you too,â he says breezily, his breath smells like cheap beer and camel blues. Heâs just as tall as you remember. He has tacky blue shutter shades resting on the top of his head. His eyes rake over your body shamelessly, lingering on the low dip of your neckline. âCute dress.âÂ
You ignore him, rolling your eyes before turning your attention back towards Brandon/Brian. Heâs silent now, eyes flicking between you and Patrick skeptically. âAre you like, together, or something?âÂ
You laugh loudly, quickly shaking your head âNoâ. Patrick beats you to speaking though, âGod no, man.â he says through a laugh, dark curls bouncing as he shakes his head. âI came over here to warn you.â He continues, voice and expression going overly serious like heâs not talking out of his ass.
Brandon/Brianâs brows furrow, clearly confused. âWarn me?â he asks, head tilting to the left slightly. His puka shell necklace makes a small clicking sound as he moves.Â
Patrick nods his head gravely, clapping his free hand down on Brandon/Brian's shoulder a little too roughly to be considered friendly, shaking him back and forth like a rag doll. âYeah, best of luck trying to get inside that snatch, man.â he says earnestly, jerking his head in your direction. âCauseâ sheâs really fucking pickyââ
You whip your head in his direction to cut him off, grimacing in disgust. âYou would say snatch, you sick fuck.â you snap, red solo cup crunching quietly in your hand. Patrick just laughs, dropping his hand from Brandon/Brianâs shoulder. Anger stews inside you the longer he looks at you with that stupid shit-eating smirk on his face.Â
You canât tell if Patrick hates you as much as you hate him. Every time you see him heâs constantly talking to you, touching you, trailing behind you. But heâs only doing all that to piss you off. You think back to Tashi telling you itâs obvious that he wants to fuck you. You donât see it.
Patrick wants to fuck everyone, youâre not special. Sure, he may feel the constant need to be a horn-dog when heâs around you. That doesnât mean anything. Patrickâs just gross, constantly making crude comments or lame innuendos. What Tashi fails to see is him making sex jokes around you is just another way he can piss you off. Itâs not an open invitation into those god-awful shorts.Â
Patrick takes a small step back, big hands raising in mock surrender. âAlright, alright. Put the claws away,â You try to ignore the way him saying your name in that goddamn infuriating condescending tone makes your cheeks start heating up. Patrick leans his shoulder on the wall next to you, looking down at you with a small grin on his face. âI actually wanted to congratulate you on cracking the top twenty.â He takes a long sip of his beer, head lolling to the side lazily as he swallows. âLucky number 14.â
Youâre not too proud to admit that Patrick is kind of hot, especially in this lighting. Heâs objectively a hot guy, and he knows it. All tall and firm looking even in his horrendous outfit. But heâs kind of cute too, in an ass-holey way. His hair's a mess of soft-looking black curls and his ears stick out from his head sort of endearingly. Heâs close enough that you can see heâs got a little brown in his eyes, and long lashes. Thereâs a handful of freckles sprinkled over the bridge of his nose.Â
His big, strong nose that looks like it could work wonders between your legs. Or at least thatâs what youâve heard from Jen in your chem lab. Maybe this jungle juice is stronger than you thought.
Patrick's smirk widens, wolfish and dirty like he can see what youâre thinking. âThatâs pretty impressive.â he continues, his tone a mix of genuine admiration and teasing. "Especially for someone who's always so...busy." He lets the last word hang in the air, a clear innuendo that makes your blood boil all over again.
"Busy training," you snap back, not willing to let him get under your skin any more than he already has. "Some of us have actual work ethic, Patrick. We put in the hours on the court instead of fucking anything that breathes, you know? So we donât look like idiots that get their ass handed to them on tour by nobody scrubs."
You can feel the heat start to simmer in your stomach, anger and frustration bubbling beneath the surface as Patrick's presence continues to grate on your nerves. The tension between you is thick, amplified by the chaotic energy of the party swirling around you. You see Brandon/Brian take a long, awkward sip of his beer as he steps away, turning on his heel to quickly disappear into the sea of bodies crowding the living room. You roll your eyes internally, pussy.
Patrick grins, not deterred in the slightest. âYouâve been keeping up with my matches?â His voice is low and pleased sounding, shiny green eyes slowly getting swallowed by the black of his pupils.Â
You pause, owlishly blinking up at him in silence. Youâve been caught. Shit.
You can feel the immediate warmth of embarrassment burning hot on your cheeks as you cast your gaze to the floor. âOnly when I need to cheer myself up, a losing streak that high is actually laughable.â You mutter to the floor, lightly swirling your drink in your cup.Â
Patrick laughs loudly, throwing his head back in amusement. âStill thinking about me though.â he says matter-of-factly, a lazy grin taking over his face.
His audacity sends another wave of anger and embarrassment through you, your grip tightens around your cup. "Only because you make such a spectacle of yourself," you retort sharply. "It's hard not to notice when you're crashing and burning so publicly."
Patrick's grin doesn't falter. If anything, it widens. "I'll take what I can get from you," he says, his tone a blend of amusement and something else that you can't place. "But seriously, congratulations. You deserve it."
His unexpected sincerity throws you off, and for a moment, you donât know how to respond. It's rare to see Patrick in a light that isnât coated in sarcasm or sleaze. You catch a glimpse of something genuine in his expression, something that almost resembles respect, and it confuses you.
It confuses you, and it makes something warm start to burn in your stomach. You canât afford to feel any warm, fuzzy feelings around a guy like Patrick, not if you donât want to get majorly fucked over the second he gets bored of you.Â
You donât know how to react so you do what makes sense, you lash out.
âGod, will you just fuck off and leave me alone Patrick,â you say, tone over-dramatic and long-suffering as you tip your head up to the ceiling in annoyance. âIâm trying to have fun.â A lie. The party kind of sucked compared to last years. You were planning on talking Tashi into leaving when she came back, but he didnât need to know that.
Patrickâs cool exterior finally cracks, letting out a quiet huff of disbelief as a frown starts tugging at the corners of his mouth. âJesus Christ, what the hell is your fucking problem? Iâm being sincere.â The playful light in his eyes is gone, replaced by something darker.
You let out a loud laugh, shaking your head in amusement. âMaybe Iâd believe that if you werenât such an ass. I know you too well, Patrick.â You say, tone mean and condescending. You know heâs right, on some level, but that doesnât stop you.Â
Patrick is silent for a beat, eyes boring into yours with an intensity that makes you want to start squirming. He lets out a quiet, bitter laugh, bringing his beer up to his lips to take a long sip. You watch the way his throat moves as he swallows, the way his lips look wrapped around the neck of the bottle. You feel a familiar heat start to pool between your legs, thighs clenching involuntarily as your mind envisions something else his slick, pink lips would look good wrapped around.Â
He drops the bottle to his side, finally breaking the silence. âYou know, now I do believe you.â he says casually, swiping his tongue over his lips lazily. âYou must really not be getting any dick acting like this much of an uptight bitch.â
You reel back in shock, his words hitting you like a punch in the gut. The wave of fury that sweeps through you is almost tangible, your vision narrowing to a tunnel that begins and ends with Patrickâs infuriatingly smug face. âWhat did you just say?â you ask completely taken aback, voice low and rough. Your hand twitches at your side with the need to throw your drink in his face, anger and embarrassment lapping white hot flames in your stomach.Â
Patrick just scoffs, heated gaze not breaking from your own. âYou heard me.â He says, jaw set stubbornly. âYou need like, emergency dick, or something to chill the fuck out for once.âÂ
You feel your heart rate spike, your free hand clenching into a tight wrist by your side. âYouâre a fucking pig.â your voice shakes with anger, you feel sweaty and hot all over. The heat swirling between your legs is persistent.
Patrick laughs, a loud and infuriating sound. âCome on, we both know youâre fucking begging for someone to give you what you need.â He says like itâs obvious, you clench your fist a little tighter. He takes a step closer, voice dropping down to a whisper meant just for you. âI can help you with that. I can fuck all that bratty shit right out of yoââ
Youâre reacting before you can stop yourself, hand flying up to slap him hard across the face. The loud crack pierces through the room, loud enough that a few eyes turn in your direction. Patrick's head snaps to the side, the shades resting on the top of his head fly off.Â
Your heart stops, hands shaking with the realization of what you just did. You expect Patrick to flip out, start shouting and threatening to sue you or whatever else it is that rich people do. Time seems to slow down as he turns his head, and when he looks back at you, there's no trace of anger in his eyes. Instead, they're dark with something else entirelyâ something that makes your stomach flip.
He licks his lips, a slow, deliberate motion, and then he laughs, a low, throaty sound that sends shivers down your spine. A clear hand print grows steadily, red and angry on his cheek. "Fuck." he breathes, his hazy eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that makes your breath catch in your throat.Â
Youâre stuck staring at each other for what feels like hours, the music and chatter from the party reduced down to a low hum as youâre caught under Patrickâs heavy gaze.
He drops his beer bottle on the floor carelessly, hand shooting out to grab your wrist tightly and drag you away from the living room. Your cup falls from your grip, splashing down onto the hardwood in a red sticky mess. You fall into step behind him, letting him guide you into the hallway outside the living room before he lurches to a stop in front of a closed door, ripping it open and shoving you inside. Patrick follows quickly, closing the door behind him and bathing the coat closet in darkness.Â
Itâs a tiny closet, youâre pressed up against too many coats fighting for space on the tiny rack, kicking loose shoes around as you try to find your footing. âPatrick, Iââ You start, but you're cut off by a strong hand gripping your forearm and whipping you around. Your back hits the door with a dull thud, you donât have any time to react before his lips are on yours.
The kiss is the opposite of gentle, Patrickâs lips are almost violent as they move with yours. Your hands tangle in his soft hair, kissing back just as roughly. He hisses into your mouth as you twist the strands in your grip meanly, pressing you into the door harder. His tongue forces its way past your parted lips, claiming your mouth fiercely. He tastes like beer, his fingertips are rough and calloused on your skin, pulling you closer as if he wants to meld into you.
âIf you donât want this, say the word and Iâll stop right now.â He says against your lips, breathless and rumbly. His hands squeeze your hips reassuringly, his own version of sincerity softening the moment.
Yeah fucking right.
âZweig,â you say slowly, yanking his hair roughly. âIf you donât shut up and fuck me in the next ten seconds, Iâll kill you.â
Patrick grins wildly, surging forward to connect your lips again. Your hands find the buttons of his shirt as the two of you kiss, working them open one by one until you get too frustrated and rip the two half-open sides apart. Buttons clatter onto the floor of the closet, Patrick groans into your mouth, breaking the kiss with a huff. âI liked that shirt, dick. You owe me twenty bucks.â
Youâre not listening, eyes trained on the bare skin of his chest as everything seems to slow down for a second. Of course, youâve seen Patrick shirtless before, when heâs on the court and itâs above ninety or when heâs taking up space in Artâs dorm. This feels different, a completely new situation where itâs actually okay for you to stare at the expanse of his torso.Â
You canât help reaching out to touch him againâ running your greedy hands down his chest, his abs, the sharp âvâ cut of his hips that makes its way into the waistband of his shorts. Your manicured nails scratch through the dark hair of his happy trail, you can see the muscles in his stomach jump.
âFuck,â you whisper breathlessly and immediately regret it. He was already insufferableâ all you fucking needed was for him to know how you felt right now. How the sight of his barely undressed body is making your pussy soak through your panties.
Patrick doesnât even gloat, just uses his tight grip on your hips to flip you so youâre pressing onto the door harshly. He impatiently yanks the skirt of your dress up, wasting no time in hooking a finger on the lace of your panties and moving the fabric to the side for easier access.
You hear him pop the button of his shorts open, his zipper following close behind. âYou have no idea how long Iâve waited for this.â He says, sliding the thick tip of his cock through your slick lips, brushing himself against your entrance teasingly. âIâm gonna make you think twice about bitching me out ever again.â He seals his promise by grabbing your hair and yanking, causing a surprised whine to fall from your lips. His voice is so patronizing, but you arenât getting mad like you should be. Youâre just getting wetter, getting desperate with the need for him to get inside you right fucking now.
You grit your teeth in frustration, exhaling sharply through your nose. âI hate you.â You hiss, grinding back against his hard cock. You gasp raggedly as he starts to sink himself inside you, not stopping until his hips are flush against your ass. âShit!â Your hands grip the door so hard youâre scared one of your nails will break. The stretch of him burns in the best way possible. Youâd never say it out loud, not wanting to inflate his ego anymore than you probably already have, but heâs definitely the biggest cock youâve taken. Almost porn-star big.
âI know.â He replies easily, hiking your thigh up with his hand as his hips start to pound mercilessly into the meat of your ass, not even giving you time to get used to the thick stretch of him. The loud smack of skin on skin fills the tiny closet easily, you hope to God the amount of clothes shoved in here somehow muffles the sound. The rough denim of his shorts scratches against your raw skin, adding to the sting of his hips.
Patrick was pounding into you in a way that makes you feel every inch of him. His cock felt impossibly big, filling you up like he was carving a place for himself inside of you. The sting in your pussy at the stretch of him is mind-numbing, you think youâd collapse from how hard your thighs were shaking if he wasnât practically holding you up.
His big hand grips the sensitive skin of your inner thigh hard enough that itâll probably be bruised by tomorrow. You distantly hope heâs high up enough that your tennis skirt will cover it, because if not itâll be a hard thing to talk your way out of.
You throw your head back, a strained moan erupting from your lips. Your nails scratch at the paint on the door's edges, raking small lines down the wall. The loud squelch of your pussyâs overflowing wetness every time he sinks back inside you would be embarrassing if you had the mental capacity to care.
âFuck yeah, keep making those slutty sounds, baby. Want the whole fucking party to hear how good Iâm making you feel on this cock,â he mutters, hiking your leg up higher so he can pound into you deeper.
He drops your thigh, sliding his hand up your body and around your throat. You whine loudly, pushing back into his thrusts harder. Guys have tried the choking thing in the past, but Patrickâs hand is the only one thatâs felt right. His long fingers curling around your throat like they belong there.
âShit, fuck- donât stop.â you mewl, lips parted in ecstasy. His hand squeezes a little tighter, not enough to cut off your breathing, just enough to get your eyes rolling back into your head as your pussy weeps around the thick length of his cock.
âThatâs it, taking my fucking cock like you were made for it,â Patrick grates through a groan, gripping your hips and pulling out from your tight hole to spit on where his cock bumps up against your entrance before plunging back in. You jolt at the extra wetness, whining at how dirty it is. âSo fucking tightâ does it hurt, baby?â he asks in a barely breathless voice, laughter edging his tone. âIs my fat cock hurting your tight little pussy?â
âGodâ shit, yes!â you sob loudly, cheek rubbing against the wood of the door as you nod your head frantically. âHurts so fucking good.â You stop caring about inflating his ego, letting moans fall freely from your lips as you get closer to the edge.
âFuck yeah, Iâm gonna come,â he grunts, his rhythm growing sloppy and erratic as his muscles tense. He wraps your hair in his other hand, pulling hard enough to make your neck crane back awkwardly. He leans forward, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. âI can feel you, fucking clenching up on me so tight,â he whispers, still pounding into you roughly. âI know youâre close. Do it. Come all over my cock like a slut.â
Patrick's hand tightens around your throat as he talks, cutting off your air for just a second. âPatrick!â Your voice sounds weak and strained, your hand coming up to wrap around his wrist desperately.
He pulls out abruptly, dropping your hair from his fist to frantically jerk his cock, burying his face in your neck. You can hear the lewd shlick shlick shlick of your wetness help his hand glide over the skin of his cock quickly. Patrick lets out a loud growl before you feel the sharp bite of his teeth sinking in where your shoulder meets your neck, muffling a loud groan of your name as he sprays hot come over the skin of your lower back and the swell of your ass.Â
The feeling of Patrickâs hand wrapped around your throat as his come paints your skin has you catapulting over the edge. Eyes rolling back in your head as your convulsing pussy gushes wet over his spent cock.Â
You drag in greedy lungfuls of air, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. âYou came first.â You say breathlessly, voice scratchy and hushed. Patrick chuckles against your skin, swatting the tender flesh of your ass lightly.Â
âShut the fuck up.â He mutters half-heartedly, nuzzling his nose in your neck in a way that seems far too intimate for what the two of you just did. You donât say anything.
Patrick eventually peels himself off your back, but the warmth of his body stays wrapped around you as he starts to gently wipe your skin clean. Youâre ready to scold him for using some poor guy's coat as a come-rag, but when you turn your head to glare at him heâs using the inside of his own shirt. You wrinkle your nose, but a tiny smile fights its way onto your lips. So gross, you think with a sort of reluctant fondness.
He leans over to fix your panties back over your puffy, abused pussy. Your thighs continue to shake weakly as you try to stand on your own, still unsteady without Patrick holding you up. He gives you a sweet kiss on the back of your shoulder, smacking his lips loudly. You huff out a tiny laugh, pushing away from the door to face him.
You watch him as he languidly gets re-dressed. He looks well-fucked, his hair and clothes are mess, his face is flushed and sweaty. Your eyes trail down to where heâs buttoning up his atrocious shorts.Â
The fabric around the crotch is darkened with your release, wetness soaking the denim around the zipper and front pockets. You gawk at it, a mix of terror and excitement swirling through your stomach. âYou canât go back out like that.â you say to his shorts, shame burning your cheeks.Â
Patrick follows your gaze down to his crotch. A pleased smirk plays on his lips when he looks back at you. âIâll text you later.â Is all he says, zipping his fly and turning towards the door.Â
âYou donât have my number.â You say, tugging the skirt of your dress down over your hips. You can slowly feel the horny fog leave your brain, leaving you clear-minded and a little panicked.
He cracks the door open, but before walking out of the closet he looks back at you over his shoulder. âArtâll give me your number. â He says casually with a small shrug of his shoulder. You suddenly feel sick, wondering how many other people have heard that line before getting completely ghosted.Â
Patrick must see the negative thoughts running through your mind play out on your face. He gives you an actual smile, one that has his eyes crinkling up the tiniest bit at the corners. âPromise.â He says with a reassuring nod, itâs the most sincere youâve ever seen him. You bite your lip to stop from smiling at the hope blooming in your stomach, nodding back at him slowly. He throws you one last toothy grin before heâs walking out and closing the door behind him.
You sigh contently, staring at the closed door for a few beats before your phone buzzes to life from where it's laying on the floor. You bend over to search for it, blindly rooting around until you see the tiny display light. The ringing stops before you can answer, when you flip the screen up to check your inbox you have seven missed texts and two missed calls.
Four texts and two calls from Art, and just three texts from Tashi.
arty where are you? iâve been looking for you are you okay? hello???
tash you know you're not invisible right? everyone saw your little show have fun <3
tags are now in the comments! if you want to get tagged for any of my works just fill out this form!
mini a/n: yes i did change the title leave me lmao love you!
#â đŻďż˝ďż˝đľđ˘đđŞđ˘ đ¸đłđŞđľđŚđ´ âĄ#natalia cant write anything under 1.000 words#*places this in your notifs*#hehehehe#i actually have ANOTHER patrick fic that's probably gonna take me a sec#it's more plot heavy#and more angsty#the way i struggled with this#i was terrified the dialogue would sound cheesy#the group chat was consulted#and now we're here#and i like it more now lmao#okay bye!!!#love you!#challengers x reader#challengers x you#challengers fanfic#challengers smut#patrick zweig#patrick zweig x reader#patrick zweig x you#patrick zweig smut#patrick zweig imagine
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they announced one of the main writers for FFXIV: Dawntrail is the one who wrote the Shadowbringers trial series, "Sorrow of Werlyt", and the amount of people going "ew no that's the one that redeems Gaius" drives me kind of insane
That storyline takes Gaius and says "Behold this idiot, watch and be stunned as everything he ever said to anyone turned out to be fucking obviously wrong. Watch as the fascist imperialist philosophy he ingrained into his beloved children makes them run to their deaths, even as he pleads them not to, and they tell him to fuck himself and do it anyway. Marvel as he watches them die by your hand, you, who destroyed Gaius himself at the peak of his life, and he can do nothing to stop it", and that's a redemption arc to people
The only surviving kid only makes it because her brother acts to protect her, she doesn't make it because of any act of Gaius'
The entire story is literally "In case you somehow missed it in ARR and most of Stormblood, everything Gaius believed in was horseshit and there's no such thing as a 'noble general in the evil empire'". All his meritocracy bullshit vanished the second he was gone, no-one but his own children believed it or held onto it, and the empire put someone directly opposed to that belief into his old seat when he vanished. No-one cared, no-one else "believed", the Empire was never about that, it was only propped up in his own singular legion by him being there and the second he was gone the legion dumped it and moved on and only Gaius was too naive and stupid to see it.
I mean for fuck sake, the Empire digs up the chemical gas weapon he explicitly had sealed away and destroyed all record of after he's gone and if it wasn't for a particularly dedicated and enterprising catboy and his comedy crew of hardcore engineers, it would have caused the eighth apocalypse
Even the follow-up in patch 6.4, of the family portrait, isn't some "aw he good now" thing. The family portrait you help organise for him has to have four of its six members be projected onto the scene via a machine's reconstruction of them as normal people because they're dead, they threw their lives away because the ideology Gaius taught them meant they could only think to die fighting and nothing else. That's his loving family portrait: four ghosts stood at his back as his last living child smiles through her pain.
"well the people of Werlyt didn't kill him for conquering them" they let him clean up the mess he made (which meant watching his children be killed) and as "thanks" they're letting him stay there to live out the last third of his life or so attempting to atone by fixing the damage he did.
He's 56 at the time of ARR; the Empire he gave 3-4 decades of his life to is gone, it's a smouldering ruin, all but one of the people he loved is dead, his surviving daughter is scarred by the path he led her down, and what few friends he had are also dead. He learned that his beliefs were all horseshit and pretty much everyone around him except for himself knew it, he must live knowing that those beliefs got his children killed, all that he achieved that he once considered "good" was for nothing, he learned that the cool old emperor he idolised who had no magic but built an empire by pulling up his bootstraps and who told him that magic and gods were bad was actually an ancient incredibly magical sorceror attempting to resurrect his own god.
That's not a redemption arc, he's the most owned man still alive in XIV
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I've seen a lot of talk about how hell affected Edwin's pain tolerance, but not very much breaking down how it seems to have affected the way he manages emotion. So to that end, here we go:
Edwin Payne vs emotions (and how his no good very bad helltime messed with him something awful)
Dead Boy Detectives does a very good job early on of establishing the fact that Edwin is not particularly good with people. He's stilted, he's repressed, and though he can be incredibly kind to the people he cares about, he can also be quite abrasive, particularly to those he doesn't know well.
Time and time again, we see Charles step in to be the face man. Charles is the one to greet the clients, to take note of their names, to set them at ease. Charles is the one to support Crystal emotionally, and his interactions with Edwin seem to imply that he's done the same for Edwin, over the years. Charles has to remind Edwin to mind his bedside manner, and he explains to Crystal that Edwin forgets how to talk to people sometimes, because of how long he spent in hell.
In short, these boys compensate for each other's strengths and weaknesses in a lot of ways, and Charles is very much the one doing the emotional heavy lifting in this partnership.
And there's a reason for that, laid out in the text and subtext all throughout the show, and the narrative handles it brilliantly.
Edwin's actor does a fantastic job in expressing the character's reactions â or rather, lack of them. Because in the most shocking scenes throughout the show, Edwin often doesn't seem as horrified as the others in the face of events that ought to be horrific. In the Devlin house, he seems as though the murders scarcely affect him. When the jumper at the top of the lighthouse throws herself down, he's downright composed in comparison to everyone else.
And Edwin repeatedly shows or expresses that emotion makes him uncomfortable. When Crystal and Charles are fighting in episode five, he requests that they set their feelings aside until the case is finished. At the end of the episode, he says that the day has been entirely too full of emotions for his taste.
So, what is it specifically about emotion that bothers him so much?
In hell, emotion meant an awful, bloody death.
Panicking over potential incoming horrors? Nope, sorry, too loud. Dead again. Having a sobbing breakdown in a corner? Nope, sorry, too loud. Injured and trying to keep it down so it doesn't get worse? Nope, sorry, that's too loud, too.
Again and again, we see Edwin trying to tamp down on his emotions, but also, tellingly, trying to keep his emotions subdued and quiet.
When Charles finds him in hell, he's crying without making a single sound. When Esther starts to torture him in episode eight, he doesn't scream at first. He's trained himself out of making noise when something hurts or frightens him.
Of course he wants to set emotions aside until the case is done. He's spent seventy years learning what happens if you don't. You take care of business first. If, and only if, there's an after? That's when you let yourself feel.
Early on, when Edwin and Charles need to find the correct book but Edwin is unable to access their office due to the Cat King's bracelet, Edwin is upset. He's frustrated and out of sorts, blocked from making progress on the thing he knows he needs to be doing â hurting himself trying to get his arm through the mirror until Charles stops him. It's Charles who has to step in and help him calm down. It's Charles who has to remind him to breathe through what is very likely a panicked throwback to those times when if he could not solve his way out of a problem, it would very literally get him killed. In this scene, we get a brief glimpse of how Edwin looks when he starts to lose his grip on his rigid control.
And that's before we even get to these things:
Because as awful as the doll spider was, it wasn't the only thing skulking around the Doll House. Charles stumbles across misery wraiths when he goes to rescue Edwin from hell â and we know from the Devlin house episode that Edwin is extremely aware of what they do and how they operate. They were in his space, looking for despair to feed off during a time when he had it in spades.
Taken all together? It's an absolutely heartbreaking picture.
This boy seemed a little socially awkward before his death, from what we see of his time before hell. But afterward? He's had seventy long years of having to teach himself to regulate his own emotions, under pain of excruciating torture if he didn't do it well enough.
With an object lesson like that, over and over again, for literal decades, it's no wonder that Edwin has such a hard time navigating emotions and everything surrounding them.
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Catalyst
so in my au which i'm totally not using to cope or anything haha, after realizing that curly isn't going to do anything about jimmy, anya confides in swansea and he goes Protective Dad Mode. i'm calling this the "Responsibility AU." ramble below cut.
swansea doesn't immediately go after jimmy with an axe or anything because 1. they're not in a high stress life/death crash situation and 2. anya specifically requests that swansea not enact violence upon jimmy after swansea says, and i quote, "i'm gonna beat his ass." anya just wants to feel safer and more supported on the shipâshe doesn't want swansea to get in trouble even if jimmy does deserve to get destroyed by 10000 punches.
what swansea can do is watch out for anya and make sure she's never alone in a room with jimmy. if there's a situation where she has to be alone with jimmy (like the psych evals), she and swansea have a system where she can signal for help. with anya's permission, swansea asks daisuke to help look out for her too (without telling him the details as to why since that's anya's right to share or not). daisuke has already picked up at this point that something is wrong based on how much more hostile swansea's become towards jimmy, and he trusts his boss, so he agrees without much question.
anya, feeling less alone now that she has people watching her back, gains more confidence to stand up to jimmy. which makes him angry because his unwanted advances are being denied and swansea and daisuke keep getting in his way. he just can't understand why he's being treated as the bad guy here (this is because he is a delusional asshole).
meanwhile curly is slowly realizing that he needs to actually do something here because the tension in the crew is palpable and increasing by the day. also swansea is being mighty passive aggressive to him and talking about "responsibility" a lot. curly keeps trying to talk to jimmy about it but the guy just keeps downplaying it and blaming everyone else but himself. and curly is realizing that his friend isn't who he thought he was.
it all comes to a head one day when an angry jimmy tries to confront anya alone and swansea steps in. things get heated, people start yelling. curly show up to see swansea and jimmy on the verge of fighting with anya and daisuke trying to hold them back respectively. curly breaks up the fight. jimmy storms off. curly follows him and finds him trying to get the gun from the case in the cockpit. curly asks him why he's doing this and jimmy claims it's for his own protection because he feels "threatened by swansea." he tells curly to give him the code. curly, the sheer wrongness of the whole situation hitting him, finally calls jimmy out on all his bs. jimmy just laughs in his face, still believing that he's not in the wrong and curly doesn't have the guts to do anything anyway. so the captain fires him on the spot. jimmy snaps and he and curly get into a fight in the cockpit. jimmy is trying to crash the ship and curly is trying to stop him. then the rest of the crew show up and anya knocks jimmy's ass out with the gun case. swansea is so proud.
they throw jimmy in the cryopod so they don't have to worry about him pulling anything else and he can be properly dealt with once the stupid delivery is over. everyone's like, "wow that was a close oneâcould you imagine how messed up it would be if we ended up in a crash because of jimmy? thank god that didn't happen." curly makes swansea the copilot until they can get a replacement and swansea's like, "goddammit as if i don't already do enough shit around here."
anyway my whole goal here was to get rid of jimmy early so i can have beautiful Found Family shenanigans in space with the rest of the crew. apologies and healing and happy times will happen. no the whole getting laid off thing doesn't happen. no i don't have an explanation for it. sorry for the essay.
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~đđĄđ đđŠđ˛ đđđŹđđđŤ'đŹ đđđđŤđđ~ Part 1
Part 1 of The Spy Master's Secret Find more ACOTAR works here! Summary: The Inner Circle has questions they need answered, too bad the one person they rely on for secret information is also the one who doesn't want to answer it. Warnings: Swearing, Cas and Rhysand fight, mention of *that* Solstice conversation, but I actually write Rhys as not an asshole in this one
Part 2 out now!
âIt would certainly be me!â Nesta yelled, her voice joining the many that were arguing in the Inner Circle.Â
Her mate let out a bellowing laugh, finding the statement ridiculous. She wouldnât have been as pissed, had he not doubled over when realizing how very serious she was.Â
âNesta, donât be ridiculous. You could be attached to him for 100 years straight and it still wouldnât hold a candle to either me nor Cassian.â Rhysand stated, the air of superiority around him while making such a statement caused a shoe to fly at his head.
âDonât be an ass, Rhys.âÂ
âOf course, Ferye, Darling.â The High Lord slumped down a little at that.Â
The argument had been going on for far too long and after far too many drinks consumed, there wasnât a resolution in sight.
âWell, now that we have established Nesta is out of the running, does anyone want to nominate themselves? Or will it only be Rhys and I?â Cassian asked.
Everyone was silent, minus Nesta who was angrily huffing at both her mate and his brotherâs arrogance.Â
âGood. Now, Rhysand, tell me what in Prythian has possessed you to think he would ever pick you over me?â
âWhat! Cas, you cannot actually be serious enough to think it would be yo-â
âIf I remember correctly, one Solstice night a few years ago dethroned you forever.â
âThat is not fair and you know it! Plus, we have made up tenfold.â
âDoesnât matter, its about principles.â
âPlease! Cassian, what the fuck do you know about principles?â
âOh, Iâll show you principles alright-â Was all the General said before he promptly tackled Rhysand to the ground.Â
Everyone else in the room just rolled their eyes. It seemed the fight would never end.Â
âWhat am I looking at?â Lucian asked as he walked in on the brawl, noting how Amren and Mor were in the corner exchanging money for the bets they had already placed on the two Illyrians still fighting on the ground.Â
âCassian called himself Azrielâs best friend.â Elain explained as she moved over slightly on the couch, beckoning her mate forward.Â
âI thought he was?â Lucian replied.
âThank you!... I knew- I liked⌠you, Vanserraâ Cassian managed to get out while Rhysand tried and failed to put him in a headlock.Â
âI still think it's me.â Nesta grumbled.Â
âI donât understand why you all canât ask Azriel himself?â Gwyn pitched in.Â
The two brothers stopped their fighting as everyone looked to the priestess.Â
Clearly, the thought hadnât crossed anyonesâ mind.
They all slowly turned to the Shadowsinger, who had been sitting in the chair by the corner of the room, shadows dancing around him, clearly enjoying the show as much as he was.Â
âCome on, boy. Put the two most powerful idiots in Prythian out of their misery.â Amren said commandedÂ
The rest of the Inner Circle waited impatiently for Azrielâs response, which he purposefully took a pause before answering to torture them.
âCassian, Rhysand, you both are my brothers. But I wouldnât classify either of you as my best friend.â He finally responded. âWhat the fuck?â âAre you serious?â They yelled over each other.
âHa! I knew it had to be m-â Nesta was cut off by the hand Azriel raised, pausing her thought.Â
âNesta, you are a very dear friend of mine. I appreciate our friendship very much⌠but it isnât you either.â
The tension building from everyoneâs anticipation was almost suffocating.Â
The Spy Master opened his mouth then, deciding better of it, closed it. Getting out of his chair and walking to the door without a word.Â
âHold on!â Rhysand yelled and the House of Wind shut the door in front of Azriel, as if it too wanted to hear his answer.
Unamused, Azriel turned around to the sea of expectant faces.
âAzriel. You donât think your⌠shadows are your best friend, right?â Cassian asked, a pitying tone in his voice.
Azâs shoulders shook with silent laughter at the string of curses his shadows sent at the General, even if Cassian couldnât hear them.
âNo, I donât. But they donât appreciate the tone, Cas.â Azriel answered as he watched his shadows menacingly circle Cassian. Finally deciding to put everyone out of their misery, he replied:Â
âYou donât know her.âÂ
Before walking into the shadows, escaping the shouts of vulgarity that filled the room at his nonresponse.
A/n: Do y'all want a part 2?
Update: Read part 2 here!
#acotar x reader#acotar#azriel x reader#azriel#inner circle x reader#azriel x you#azriel x oc#azriel fluff
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You've now filled my head with nothing but Alastor and Lucifer brainrot. Any other sharing thoughts you have for them? (I cannot stop thinking about them, I quite literally thought about them sharing me during my entire 8hr retail shift yesterday)
alastor and lucifer sharing you pt 3!
pt1, pt2
this was highly requested, thank you all for the love <3 im tagging anyone who asked/was fine with it last time but now you can fill out this taglist form to ensure you're tagged for future posts!
tags: @lu-ferri12 @my-anime-garden @princessdreamss @polytheatrix @reaper-of-light-12 @ambi-squirrelly @hazelfoureyes @meggletoomanyfandoms @afernandez21
cw: angst ig?? idk reader is upset cause they keep fighting, general relationship issues for a moment, smut, reader gets eaten out, there's some light praise and condescension i think, alastor has a master kink, alastor discovers he LOVES eating pussy, there's like a weird sexual tension between alastor and lucifer for the majority of this if you squint, the ending is VERY suggestive
other: not 100% happy with formatting on this but i wrote majority of it on a 6 hour flight so like. you win some you lose some. not proofread that well, i kind of ramble at times too but it's fine. 2.1k word count and half of it is formatted in a headcanon cuase, again, lazy 6 hour writing. i also don't use the bolding and coloring that much cause it'd be a lot of work.
left the ending a little open, will probably do a poll tomorrow on if people want me to take this that direction.
â okay so sex aside i would think outwardly everyone knows you're in a relationship with lucifer at the very least
â but it's kept lowkey with the other part of the relationship
â which both are fine with btw
â lucifer loves pda so he's happy, alastor isn't a fan so it's whatever
â the public part works out because alastor would genuinely be worried about someone trying to use you to get to him
â it's bad enough that it's known the king of hell has a new partner, but nobody knowing that if they fuck with you they're fucking with the king of hell AND the radio demon is a silent advantage
â if anyone knows, it's charlie. but only to the extent of like the fact it's a hinge relationship, everything else she doesn't know and honestly doesn't need to know
â she's just happy her dad seems happy and is getting along better with alastor
â i think alastor is the kind to really start caring during the relationship vs. lucifer caring about you deeply before
â so occasionally alastor will pull you aside, or if no one is watching will just press a quick kiss on your forehead.
â meanwhile lucifer is always making it known he's in love with you
â arm around your shoulder, holding your hand, everything
â again, alastor doesn't really mind unless lucifer decides to be an ass abt it
â look they still compete with each other sometimes they can't help it
â then it becomes a game of how much the other can get away with before you either get upset or it's too telling
â that's the other thing is like, the competing gets really fucking annoying to you
â we saw them in hells greatest dad it wasn't a want to be a better dad it's just wanting to out do the other
â and when it transfers to your relationship it gets agitating fast
moving on
â relationship side alastor isn't as involved with that
â but if either of them did something that upset you or like there was a lovers quarrel between you and either side it's a big deal to them
â especially if you're only upset with one half of the hinge
â cause like, sure, they could compete with each other and purposefully drive you apart
â but tbh.. both of them lowkey like this arrangement much more than they thought they would
â so they end up talking to each other about it and figuring out what to do
â same if you're upset with both
â not that you're upset often it's just that when you are it's usually cause they crossed a line in their little competition
â and they hate making their girl feel like a prize to be won :(
â whatever their solution is, they do it together.
â show you they can get along, that they both care about you enough
â you're in your room, a bit of a blow up happened earlier after they got into one of their arguments
â it's not that you genuinely think theyre using you to get to the other but sometimes with the way they act it's easy to doubt
â anyways, they both come in, it's late
â i cry when im frustrated/upset and i think it's a pretty normal reaction, so let's just say you're crying a little
â they're both immediately at your side, apologizing profusely
â you've never cried like this before
â it scares them. alot.
â for once there's absolutely no competition, the only worry is making you feel better.
â both sitting next to you on the couch, lucifer murmuring how much he loves you, and how he knows how much alastor cares for you
â i hate the whole "alastor doesn't understand emotions" thing because he does. he has to, he knows how to read people well.
â it's just he hasn't ever comforted someone
â he doesn't know what to do when someone he cares about is upset
â so he's glad lucifer is here, as alastor just sits at your side nodding along and gently rubbing your back
â alastor only tunes back in when lucifer offers to give some space for the night, and a little murmur from you agrees but asks they both come to bed that night
â given its usually only lucifer who actually sleeps in the same bed as you alastor is surprised
â but lucifer is beckoning him out for some space.
"cmon, we'll be back in an hour yeah?" he chimes from the door, and with a squeeze of your shoulder alastor is out of the door, but he opts to walk along with lucifer. "we gotta do better" lucifer sighs as he walks, not looking over at alastor. he's not accusing alastor, he seems equally disappointed in both of them.
"for her?" alastor adds, and lucifer gives a hum of agreement. "this while ordeal has been quite... stressful as of late, no?" alastor adds, "to our own faults, yes" lucifer murmurs, giving a sigh. alastor nods, and the two men walk in silence for some time, ending up in the parlor, husk far since gone to bed. "want anything?" lucifer pulls alastor back to reality once again, he's standing behind the bar while alastor had been staring off, his mind running with thoughtd of god knows what.
"whiskey, my friend?" alastor suggests, and giving it a considerate thought lucifer pours two glasses. the silence falls over them again, just the sound of the clink of their glasses on the counter.
"so tell me, how do you do it when you pleasure her?" alastor breaks the silence, lucifers eyes dart up to him. thinking for a moment before replying "i don't really think tonight is the time for thatâ" lucifer says, but in a gentle tone.
"no no, in the morning." alastor says, staring down at his glass. "you two indulge often in the morning, correct?" alastor says, now his eyes uncomfortably on lucifer. Watching as the other man almost pales a little, swallowing thickly.
lucifer immediately falters, giving a sigh. "look it's notâ iâ that's not her faultâ" lucifer immediately starts, assuming this is a confrontation. his eyebrows raise as alastor shakes his head. "oh please, if i had problem with it i would have done something" he says, a static crackle echoing through the room. "no, i want to know how you do it when you... when it's just about her. how can i do the same?" alastor asks, and this is even more surprising to lucifer than this whole fucking idea in the first place.
â so lucifer of course explains some stuff to him, of course it's hard because unless he's done it before it's hard to articulate some of his "moves"
â i mean lucifer can hardly resist going down on you everytime, he's definitely experienced but it's hard to transfer that knowledge at times
â but he's impressed alastor even asked
â so when they return to your room, they're a lot more calmer with each other than before.
â that night changed a lot between them tbh
â it's slightly awkward for both of them when everyone gets settled in the bed
â you're on your back, lucifer on your right side and alastor on the left.
â they're both holding you to the best of their abilities
â lucifer gives alastors hand a squeeze before shuffling it to have a better grasp on your waist
â you all peacefully sleep through the night, not shifting much but it's pretty comfortable
â is the morning you're mostly cuddled into alastor, which is entirely lucifers doing
â when you're all awake though alastor gets arguably nervous
â but you being you, you slump over onto alastors chest, murmuring some affection to him
â lucifer gives a nod, it's time.
â he'd honestly probably move to get out of bed, assuming some privacy is wanted
â but he feels a shadow wrap around his forearm, it's a light pressure
â alastor shakes his head, mouthing a small "please"
after lucifer processes for a moment what exactly is about to go down, he's okay with that. he settles back in, his eyes on the two of you as alastor tilts your chin up, pressing a kiss to your lips. "my dear, would you mind if i tried something a little different with you?" alastor chimes, and you blink your eyes open again, still a bit sleepy as you give a nod.
he gently maneuvers you on the bed so you're laying on your back, his hands pawing at your sleep shorts and pulling them to your ankles. lucifer watches, honestly a little mezmerized by the whole ordeal. he feels proud in an odd sort of way. âI think our little doe deserves a treat, would you like that?â alastor murmurs as he spreads your thighs open. You take a shaky breath before murmuring some form of agreement, maybe even a little plea.
without further prodigy, alastors finally leans down his tongue swiping down your folds, hands grasping your hips to pull you to his face. your hands go to hold lucifers, but he shakes his head tutting at you. âah ah, thatâs not very polite princessâ he chides softly, guiding your hands to alastors hair.
and alastor makes good use of the tips and information lucifer gave him, his tongue plunging into your sweet little hole as his nose bumps your clit. his eyes wander up, making eye contact with you as he eats you out so wonderfully. you tug at his hair and he practically growls in pleasure, opting to change tactics and focus his mouth on your clit while his fingers slide inside you, gently curling into your sweet spot.
and lucifer watches it all, absolutely mesmerized. he doesnt know what it is about watching this but theres something about knowing alastor is doing exactly as told to in this scenario that makes lucifer feel warm. he lets alastor steal the show, doing only minimal work. maybe hes softly cooing praises or gently reminding you to show your appreciation to the one making you feel this good.
as you get close, evident by the murmur that falls past your lips, alastors eyes snap to lucifers for a moment, and he takes a moment to think before understanding. usually when youre close alastor is all over you, telling you to be such a good girl and cum, just slight praises and coaxing. given the fact hes face deep in your sweetness he cant really do that, so that job is up to lucifer now.
âisnât alastor doing such a good job duckling? you want to make sure he knows how good hes treating you, dont you?â lucifer coos, scooting in behind you on the bed so you stop trying to writhe away. âI think heâd be so disappointed if you didnt cum for him, you think you can do that, hm? you wanna cum all over your masters tongue?â lucifer says directly in your ear, and alastor feels a bit of a warmth in his stomach by being referred to as âmasterâ
when you give a weak moan in response lucifer sighs, shaking his head. âbe a good girl now, you can do it little doeâ he says which is what sends you toppling over the edge, your hips rutting up into alastors mouth, whiny moans coming from you as alastor desperately licks up your sweet release. this whole thing was quite enjoyable for alstor, but hearing lucifer call you âlittle doeâ his petname for you made him smugly satisfied.
after some aftercare which mostly just involved more cuddling, alastor feels satiated enough to shift to leave, before getting a look from lucifer. he reluctantly stays, feeling as you come to lay at his side once more. lucifer seems to take note of something, giving alastor a nod down, he glances down, seeing the obvious tent in his pants. alastor looks back up, slightly annoyed. a like âyeah, no shit dumbassâ kind of look is exchanged.
alastor looks back down at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you sigh happily. but alastor tenses as he feels a hand on his knee, shooting a glare to lucifer as he traces his hand up a little. the two meet as and alastor takes a shaky breath as lucifer leans in just a little, breathing out the next few words with a calmness alastor admires:
âjust keep cuddling herâ
#lucifer smut#alastor smut#hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar x reader#alastor#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x reader#lucifer morningstar#radioapple#alastor the radio demon#alastor x lucifer#smut#hazbin alastor#hazbin lucifer
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Ichigo gets a lot of shit (typically from outside of the Bleach fandom) for being a character whose wants/goals never change from beginning to end of his series. He always wants to protect people (and even though I could argue that he went from only wanting to protect those close to him to wanting to protect everyone he can, that's not the point I'm making with this post).
I think a lot of people who only give Bleach a passing glance fail to see Ichigo's true character growth. It's not about what his goals are or who he's trying to protect, but rather, it's about how he achieves it.
Ichigo is very self-sacrificing in the first third of Bleach. He believes that if the mission is successful, then it doesn't matter how broken or close to death he gets. The mission, saving Rukia (and hurting/killing as few people in the process), is all that matters.
Then, when a part of himself (his inner hollow) emerges, and says "hey yeah no, I'm not letting you get yourself killed and I'm also not letting you hold back against your enemy", Ichigo immediately rejects it.
It's not until he defeats his inner Hollow that we see Ichigo really dive into a fight with the intent to kill. The problem is, once his Hollow is defeated, he thinks that's it. He's freed himself of that part of him and he can go back to being self-sacrificing.
We see this throughout the Hueco Mundo arc. It's why saving Orihime parallels saving Rukia. Ichigo naively thinks he can suppress a part of himself. He bottles it up until it explodes, coming back to haunt him in his fight with Ulquiorra, etc. He learns that side of himself isn't so easily tucked away, and if he recklessly endangers himself, he could end up endangering his friends too. At his own hand, no less.
Then Ichigo discovers he can commit the ultimate sacrifice. Final Getsuga Tenshou. He can throw away these powers and the parts of himself that he doesn't like, and he can get rid of Aizen all in one go. He's lucky that it worked, but only because Kisuke was there.
Then, once Ichigo is powerless, he learns that's not what he really wants. Life doesn't "go back to normal". The can is open, and there's danger out there beyond just Aizen. And Ichigo can't do anything to stop it unless he gets his powers back.
So he does. Then he cuts down the threat to his friends and family. And he doesn't hesitate this time. Yes, he still has compassion for his enemies (he even goes to the Soul Society to ask for Ginjo's body so he can give him a proper burial), but he's learned not to hold back and he's learned that new threats will appear and he'd rather have the power to face them head on.
So then comes TYBW, and Ichigo is facing battles head-on without hesitation. He goes straight to the "bad guys" with the intention of cutting them down. He learns the truth about who his Inner Hollow is, and he accepts it. He's even willing to accept whatever consequences may come from training in the Royal Palace and becoming stronger. He accepts his power and potential fully, and learns that he has what it takes to protect his loved ones with his strength, and not with a sacrifice.
Ultimately, he heals the part of himself that thinks his life is worth less than other people's. He heals the part of himself that blames himself for not protecting his mother (when he was 9!! Like come on Isshin, put the kid in therapy!! Anyway...) He grows into someone who knows his self worth. And I think, for me at least, that makes him one of my favourite protagonists of all time. Because can't most of us relate to feeling worthless at times? And don't we also wanna overcome that?
Thanks for reading my ramble lmao, I'm sure this could have been more elegantly written but I'm very sleepy and just wanted to get my thoughts out there.
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Wait, I was reading your posts and came across something I've found confusing. How is Adrien asking Ladybug wth she is doing in Volpina a bad thing? From Adrien's perspective, Ladybug's a celebrity tracking down a middle schooler with zero clout and humiliating her for lying about meeting her before. That's, uh yeah? Imagine if that happened irl lmao. Millions of teenage girls would perish at 1D's hands. My middle school would be a horror story. And it's made clear multiple times in the episode that her motivation is jealousy. It's one of the few episodes where the lesson Marinette gets makes sense I think, because she was genuinely spiteful in shitting on this random girl in front of her crush. That's significantly different than Ladybug just asking for a retraction from the Ladyblog. It's also one of the few times when Adrien's celebrity background actually affects how he acts, and it makes sense that Marinette doesn't make the connection between superhero=celebrity=not allowed to scream at middleschoolers in public. If half the kids in her school didn't lie about meeting Ladybug before, my suspension of disbelief is gone.
I've seen this argument before and it makes no sense to me, especially in the context of the lie that Lila actually told and the way the Lila confrontation actually goes down. A lot of people who have this take seem to think that Lila's lie was, "Ladybug saved me," and that Ladybug made a big public confrontation which is not what canon actually gave us. The confrontation was done in a mostly private setting and, while we never see Lila's full Ladyblog interview, this is how Ladybug sums up the interview in Volpina:
Ladybug:(sarcastically) Well hey Lila! How's it going? Long time no see. I saw your interview on the Ladyblog, awesome job. Oh sure! I remember our instant connection when I saved your life and we've been really good friends ever since! Practically BFF's! Uh actually, when did I save your life again, Lila? I don't recall. Oh yes! Of course, now I remember. Never! And we're not friends either! Miss Show-Off here was trying to impress you and everyone around her.
Lila didn't just lie about meeting Ladybug, she lied about having an ongoing, close relationship with Ladybug, two very different things. And Ladybug isn't just a celebrity, she's a superhero who is fighting an active terrorist. If I had to rewrite this confrontation, I'd keep it pretty much the same and just change the "Miss Show-Off" line to something like:
Miss Show-Off here was trying to impress you and everyone around her, putting herself and all of you at major risk! You know that Hawkmoth would do anything to get these, right? (gestures at her earrings) Did you even stop to think about what he'd do if he learned the identity of my supposed best friend? Of course not. You were too busy trying to look cool to stop and think things through like an actual superhero! We keep our identities and relationships secret for a reason!
Is this the kindest, most gentle way to confront someone like Lila? No, but it's very in character for Marinette to be filled with righteous fury when she sees someone using her name for their own personal gain. I really can't blame her for getting incredibly angry at this total stranger presenting herself as a Ladybug authority and using that authority to manipulate Marinette's friends. As I've said before, take away the crush complication and Marinette's actions still make total sense to me.
I'm not a huge proponent of virtue ethics. That's the idea that you need proper motivation for an act to be morally justified. If you do the right thing for the wrong reason, then the act is bad no matter how good the results and vice versa. If you view the world that way, then sure, you could possibly argue that Marinette's actions were wrong just like you can also argue that Gabriel's actions were totally fine, but I don't view the world that way. Switch Marinette's motivation from jealousy and a little righteous fury to pure righteous fury and almost nothing changes. She'd still need to confront Lila, the words would just be a little different.
It's not like this confrontation stops Lila, either. Chameleon gives us this:
Lila: (in flashback) Not only did Ladybug save my life, we've become very close friends. Marinette: She lies with every breath. Nino: Wait. You eavesdropped on Lila and Adrien? That's not cool. Alya: A good reporter always verifies her sources. Can you prove she doesn't actually know Ladybug?
Quick mini rant before I give the next Chameleon quote: this isn't how verifying your sources works, Alya! You should be verifying that Lila does know Ladybug, not the other way around! Right now, Marinette and Lila have equal authority on the topic as far as you know and there is no evidence to support either claim, so you should be looking for proof that Lila isn't lying! Proof isn't a first come, first serve problem even though a lot of people fall into that trap. This is especially true since Lila goes on to make claims like this:
Lila: Of course Ladybug saved my life. She never misses an opportunity to rescue her best friends. Max: Didn't your tinnitus give you vertigo when you went up the Eiffel Tower? Lila: Oh no. Ladybug knows me so well that she brought me an earplug to stick in my right ear.
So Lila keeps right on lying about her relationship with Ladybug, presenting them as close friends, making it even harder for me to get on the "Marinette was in the wrong for privately confronting Lila" train. If anything, Marinette was too tame! She needed to go full scorched earth and have Alya post a public retraction that included a message about the dangers of claiming to be personal friends with someone you don't actually know.
If the show went that route and had Ladybug give an equally furious smack-down and Alya posted it without a second thought, THEN I'd probably be on team "Marinette needed to tone herself down because she went too far" because that isn't a heat-of-the-moment reaction. It's something Marinette would have time to think through. But Volpina didn't go there. Instead, we just get Marinette reacting live to someone using her name to flirt with her crush. Remember, this is the setup to Marinette transforming and jumping in to stop Lila:
Lila: Not only did Ladybug save my life, we've become very close friends because we have something very special in common- it's what I wanted to tell you about. I'm the descendant of a vixen superheroine myself, Volpina. Adrien: Volpina? Marinette: Volpina? Adrien: Wait a minute! I think I read about her in my book. Lila:(stopping him from grabbing the book) Of course she's in your book. She's one of the most important superheroes. More powerful and more celebrated than Ladybug. Between you and me Ladybug doesn't even make the top ten. My grandma gave me this necklace. [Marinette runs off to transform] Adrien: (holding Lila's necklace) Are you telling me this is a Miraculous?! (Ladybug lands in front of them)
This wasn't a planned confrontation. It was Marinette reacting live to some pretty massive lies. If Ladybug had been swinging by and just overhead this, then the scene once again wouldn't change much. That's why blaming Marinette for confronting Lila in the "wrong way" feels so victim blame-y to me. "How dare Ladybug not be perfectly poised at all times and react with grace when someone lies about being her close friend and teammate!" is not a take I'm ever going to agree with. And if you want to use the middle schooler defense? Then it applies to Marinette, too. She and Lila are the same age. Why the different standards just because Marinette has fame that she never asked for or sought out?
I've never been much of a fan of holding celebrities to an "always on" standard where their every interaction needs to be done with poise and grace even if the interaction happens out in the wild and not at a planned even where the celebrity can be mentally prepared for dealing with fans. That's extra true for accidental celebrities like Ladybug. Marinette didn't take up the earrings for fame and they certainly haven't brought her fortune, plus she has no PR training. Expecting her to be a PR master who knows how to handle her accidental fame is, once again, a little too victim blame-y for my tastes. Ladybug is here to save the world, not sign autographs. You can hold her to politician standards when you start paying her for risking her life on the daily.
There's a version of Lila where I would have a different take. A version where the lie really is minor and Marinette really did "overreact", but even there my lesson wouldn't be "Marinette was totally in the wrong" because I genuinely think that sends the wrong message to kids and kids are the show's target audience. Think about what you're actually saying here, "Because Marinette is famous, she needs to accept that people will lie about her and just ignore them even if people believe the lie."
While that isn't exactly a wrong take, it's still really messed up. It's not okay for people to use Marinette's name like that just because she's famous. The reason she needs to learn to let it go is because that's what's best for her mental health, not because her fame makes her lesser than others when it comes to things like personal privacy. The lies are not magically okay just because she's well known.
Remember, Marinette is a fictional character, but the kids watching this show are very real and they're way more likely to be Lilas than Marinettes. And the kids that do relate to Marinette in this episode? They'll be kids who have dealt with the rumor mill spreading lies about them or their friends without the celebrity complication. The show should not be telling either set of kids that Marinette is the one in the wrong here. That is the wrong moral and why I hate this episode so much. I might feel differently if the intended audience was teens and if this plot was allowed to be more complex, but none of that is true. The show is aimed at kids ages 5 to 12 and every episode is supposed to teach its own moral with Volpina's moral being "Marinette was explicitly and totally in the wrong here."
This is the age of internet personalities where there are more easily-accessible celebrities than ever and where many of them do not have the wealth needed to protect themselves from fans nor the PR training to know how to handle extreme fans if there even is PR training for that! That means that it's honestly really important for kids to learn to view these individuals as people who it's wrong to lie about and who deserve the same respect as non-famous people. Treating celebrities as public commodities is how we get things like the Kit Connor scandal where an 18-year-old actor felt forced to publicly come out because the internet wouldn't shut up about his sexuality. Oh, and since you brought up one direction, I'll also note that the band members have publicly stated that online shipping discourse has negatively impacted their relationships. So, yeah, I'm never going to agree that kids should be told that it's okay to lie about celebrities or treat them as fictional characters to play with and that the celebrities are the ones who are wrong if they get upset about that behavior. That shit is toxic.
If we go the "minor" lie route, then my version of this episode would be a very sad one where Marinette learns that people are going to ignore her boundaries and lie about her and there's nothing she can do about it. A lesson in mental health training that will hopefully help kids who are dealing with bullies, but that does not present Marinette as totally in the wrong. It just teaches her when to pick a fight and when to let it go, which is a very important skill to learn even outside of lies about your own person. There will be many times when you hear people say something that you vehemently disagree with and it's important to learn when to pick a fight and when to just let it go, knowing that no good will come from speaking up even if you're 100% in the right. It's a very sad, but also very necessary skill.
I think Adrien has a place in that story. A place where he still tells Ladybug to let it go, but it should NOT have been played the way it was in canon where he acted like Ladybug was totally out of line. He needed to be way more compassionate and understanding of her very justified anger. I've written Adrien giving advice on this topic before and it's always presented as, "people are going to be assholes and you have to learn to ignore them for your own well being," not as, "you are wrong to be upset about strangers telling lies about you. You agreed to deal with this when you decided to be a hero" because what kind of asinine lesson is that?
You could also keep Adrien's canon reaction and have the lesson be him learning that it's okay to have boundaries. That his fame doesn't negate his bodily autonomy and right to be treated with dignity. That people chasing him down, invading his personal space, and otherwise preventing him from living a normal life is wrong. I love it when fanfics take this approach to Adrien's part in the Lila conflict. It's very cathartic to see his friends supporting him and protecting him from Lila.
I really have tried to see Volpina from the "Marinette was totally in the wrong" perspective because I've come across it several times, but I just can't wrap my head around it. If you've got a counter argument, then feel free to try to change my mind because I've given you my full thoughts here, but know that I'm probably not budging on this one. You'd have to make some pretty dramatic changes to canon for me to feel like this take has a point. I think the only way that I'd be on Lila's side is if it was very clear that no one believed Lila and Marinette still had the same reaction that we see in canon as that does feel like going too far. But everyone believed Lila so that's not a solid argument and I'm just never going to agree that people have to be cool with others lying about them just because they're famous. I honestly despise celebrity culture so much and hate that people are basically forced to deal with that bullshit if they want to be successful in certain artistic fields.
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