#ALSO I AM SO SORRY BUT THE LYRIC — I LOVED YOU LIKE THE SUN — IS SOOOOO.

[hailsatanacab]

music ask: 4, 17, 23, 26

4:A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

Probably not the direction the question was going in, but I can't listen to any of the songs from Aurora's album All My Demons Greeting Me as a Friend because I listened to it on repeat while my brother was in hospital and we weren't certain if he was going to survive (he did!), like woof, makes me so anxious to listen to it now

17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That) - Meat Loaf - look. LOOK. I don't do karaoke, I don't know any duets, but I do know Meat Loaf would be fucking great to duet at karaoke with haha

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to

Sugar - Obongjayar - but only because I woke up thinking about it this morning and then had to listen to it on repeat while I was getting ready for work, it's the "shu shu shu shu shu shu shu shu sugar sugar" it just GETS ME and I can't explain it

26:A song that makes you want to fall in love

Every Other Freckle - alt-J - I want to fall in love with someone as completely as they do in this song, like I am obsessed with the way he writes about love ("turn you inside out and lick you like a crisp packet" like omg, "devour me" love as consumption BABEY, and then the "if you really think that you can stomach me" it does something to me)

[lovestruckpdf]

SOBS NO I KEEP ON FORGETTING THAT YOU DON'T HAVE ASKS ON RN ON UR MAIN SO IGNORE THAT I CLICKED THE WRONG BUTTON AND UNFOLLOWED U FOR TWO SECONDS YRS7RSRYSYTDUTD7

but.

you should listen to the Crane Wives <3

I think you'd like them a lot!!

(i bet you would like their albums coyote stories and foxlore the most!!)

specific songs that I think you'd like:

of everlong

curses

the moon will sing

hard sell

october

hehe <3 I love u kazuzu!!

JSFGHGFDJKSFDGFHS ISSOKAY BBY DW DWW!!

you. you'd be so happy bc i'm slowly getting into them due to the song the moon will sing in a playlist my friend made of this game (read: lovebrush chronicles) and i love the vibes the lyrics bc INSTEAD I MADE A BEEEEDD WITH APATHY MY HEART KNEEEEEWW THE WEIGHT TENS YEARS WORTH OF DUST AND NEGLECT WE MADE OUR PEACE WITH WEARINESS AND LET IT BEEEE—

ehm. anyways. quietly adds the albums into my liked albums n songs

[dumbseee]

insecurity.

f1 au/fic: in which, lando and y/n have been dating for a few months, but fans are still talking about y/n’s past relationship. making lando feel insecure and questioning y/n’s feelings for him.

lando norris x singer!reader

(fc: jess alexander)

note: english isn’t my first language so excuse me for the mistakes this might have xx ALSO it’s the first time that i’m actually writing something so i hope it’s not too bad lmao. thank you for reading my aus btw <3

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, danielricciardo and 2 799 009 others.

y/n: happy birthday to my sun, you’re such a beautiful soul, i’m so proud to call you mine. i love you to the moon and back and promise to always love you.

_

landonorris: i love you more baby

danielricciardo: we’re at practice and he’s crying btw

fan1: they’re so absjdkdoldel

fan2: mama y papa

fan3: he always smile so brightly when he’s looking at her :(

fan4: i’m sorry but i can’t help but think about y/n’s ex… on the same day last year she was posting pictures of him

fan5: @.fan4 don’t do that… it’s about lando, not her ex

fan6: am i tripping or she also used to call her ex, her « sun »??

fan7: @.fan6 WHAT

fan8: @.fan6 no she didn’t?

_

lando sighed and threw his phone on his bed. of course he saw all the tweets about you and your stupid ex, how could he ignore them when it was all over the internet. people were speculating about if he was a rebound or a toy for you. lando was hurt, he always thought that you were way out of his league anyways so he should’ve seen it coming, right? you were an amazing and worldwide known singer, with your angelic voice and heartbreaking lyrics. you sang with your heart which made anyone who was listening to you, fall in love immediately.

that’s what happened with lando. he was always a big fan of yours, singing your songs on top of his lungs at parties, and following every single news about you, he even went to your concerts. one day, he went viral for singing your song on the radio with his engineer, he also happened to have made it to p3, which he said was because you were his lucky charm. the video was published online and went viral, you saw it and immediately found it adorable. the rest was history.

when you guys hard launched your relationship to the world, the big majority was happy for you two, happy to see you smile and happy to see that lando managed to get his crush. but a small minority saw that relationship as a rebound for you, saying horrible things about how you never loved lando and how you would dump him in a few months to go back to your one true love, your ex.

lando saw it all. and he hated it.

"lando? are you okay?" you asked, when you went to check in on him. he was supposed to bring a few blankets so you guys could watch a movie together. but he was taking way too much time so you went to see if he was okay.

"do you love me y/n?" he asked you, and the sadness in his eyes almost made you cry. lando’s eyes was what you loved the most about him, with his smile of course, but his gorgeous green eyes were full of emotions, you could drown in them and feel every little thing he was feeling just by looking at him.

"what are you talking about? of course i love you lando." you say, taking his hand in yours and softly kissing his knuckles. you saw him close his eyes and sigh deeply. you pushed him on the bed and sat next to him. "what happened?"

"it’s stupid, don’t worry about it." he finally looked up at you and faked a smile but it didn’t fool you.

"lando. tell me." you were still holding his hand and with your free hand you started to caress his cheek. he closed his eyes again and melted against your touch.

"your fans are still talking about your past relationship and how i’m nothing but a rebound to you." he said it in such a low tone you almost didn’t hear him. but sadly you heard his words and you could feel your heart shatter at how your fans words affected him. "i know that you guys stayed together for a while, and i know that you wrote good songs about him, i listened to them all, but… if you still love him you can-…"

"lando norris." you said in a serious tone, which startled him. "how am i supposed to love anyone else when you stole my heart and refuse to give it back?" his eyes lit up a little by your words. "and i literally wrote 56 songs about how much i love you so you better listen to them all once again and never doubt my feelings for you ever again, boy."

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, charlottesiine and 6 808 009 others.

y/n: ‘you are in love’ is officially out ;) little gift from me to you sweet lan <3

_

maxfewtrell: lando listened to it and locked himself in the bathroom to cry

landonorris: @.maxfewtrell FAKE NEWS

danielricciardo: i wish someone would write 57 songs about me…

heidiberger_: @.danielricciardo excuse me? (great song btw y/n!)

liked by y/n.

fan1: ZKSKSLXPODOSOZ

fan2: y/n making haters eat their words with one song: queen behaviour

fan3: i hope haters will stop hating on lando now how can you say that y/n is using him as a rebound

fan4: CALL 911 IM ON THE VERGE OF DEATH

fan5: y/n writing a love song for lando on his birthday :(

fan6: i love them so much pls

fan7: that whole drama about her ex was so dumb, they broke up for a reason and y/n also wrote songs about how awful he was to her towards the end of their relationship, why do you guys want her to go back to that dog?

liked by y/n.

[orshii]

Did I cross the line?

➼Author: orshii

➼Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x female reader

➼Word count: 4 k

➼Summary: On Valentine's Day in Paris, a romantic trip with your boyfriend, takes a painful turn when unresolved feelings about his ex-girlfriend, who was once your best friend, resurface. Despite the love between you, the past threatens to tear you apart. Through heartfelt conversations, you confront your insecurities and reaffirm your commitment, realizing that to move forward, you must leave the past behind.

➼A/N: Well...here I am again with a Hongjoong drabble, and this little something was born because of Billie Eilish's new song. And it was completely inspired by it, so please please, listen to the song and pay attention to the lyrics so you will understand the story more. I just love it, it's such a beautiful song and I can't get it out of my mind...just as well Hongjoong haha...Anyway, I am not sure this is what I wanted, but this happened so enjoy! Byee...--also, sorry for any mistakes :'(... (divider)

Things fall apart, and time breaks your heart, but it also heals your soul, allowing you to feel like a normal human on this chaotic Earth. It's much harder when you're alone, but if you find someone who is always by your side and supports you unconditionally, you become unstoppable. Nothing can come your way when they are next to you and cheering for you on the side to chase your dreams. When you find the mate of your soul, you think nothing can stop you from now on.

Except... sometimes, despite everything, you grow farther apart because of a tiny reason, turning what was once promising into something that couldn’t bloom or burn with passion.

This is the reason why I am crying in a hotel room in Paris, the city of love on Valentine’s Day, with my heart broken into thousands of pieces. How ironic life can be. It's the day of love and I'm in the city of love, yet I never felt more disappointed in love ever. The broken pieces of my heart are cutting me from the inside, I want to scream from the pain, but I have never been quieter in my life, my voice got lost between the sharp pieces of my heart.

Our trip to the city of love started like a cliché straight from a romantic movie. We decided with my boyfriend, Hongjoong, that we were going to travel to Paris for a little break, as we both needed it, we were overwhelmed with work, and we barely saw each other. And Valentine's Day was a perfect excuse for both of us, to celebrate our love, that just started to bloom. Our relationship began six months ago, and it was a maze until we finally understood each other and found our way through the dark, complicated labyrinth of each other's hearts.

We wandered around the city with our hands interlaced, never letting go for even a minute. We felt locked together, forever. Throughout the day we visited a lot of museums and the typical sights of Paris, that being the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower. When the both of us were on top of the Eiffel Tower, the wind was so strong up there, that we could barely see the city down there. The air was chilly, as it was mid-winter. The clouds were gone, and the snow had already melted away, leaving behind only the cold.

I stared at Hongjoong, my hair in my face, giggling as he took pictures of me. The photos came out blurry but full of happiness. The sun that slowly approached its lowest spread an orange blanket over the city, lighting it with all shades of orange. I looked next to me, where Hongjoong was smiling. I saw him in slow-motion, as he was looking down at the orange city, the sun's beams lighting his beautifully shaped face, his jawline sharp, his cheekbones high, his eyes in the shape of a crescent moon as he was smiling. The wind blew very slightly on his brown hair alongside his elegant black clothes.

And his smile... that was why I fell in love with him so deeply that I couldn't escape. His smile was so perfect and wide, full of humanity, with sincerity that immediately caught me off-guard because I didn't believe in the fact, that perfect humans on this Earth existed. But as soon as I saw him, I knew it was just a lie, because with time every human being finds their perfect mate for their soul, no matter if someone sees them as imperfect. For you, they are always going to be perfect.

After coming down from the tower, we wanted to do one last thing: put a padlock on the famous bridge where people place padlocks to symbolize their love, as the saying goes, 'Lasts until forever'. And as it was Valentine's Day and we were in the city of love, to make it cheesier we bought a red padlock to put it on the bridge.

"So did you enjoy yourself today?" Hongjoong asked looking at me with his adoringly beautiful smile, as we were walking towards the bridge.

"This was the happiest day of my life Hongjoong." I looked at him with loving eyes, tears almost appearing in my eyes as I was very overwhelmed by the fact of how much I loved him. "Thank you."

"Come here, my little bun." He pulled me by my hand that was interlaced with his and hugged me strongly I felt like he might break my bones, as we were at the end of the bridge. He pecked the top of my head and slowly separated from me, leaving little distance between us, just to cup my face into his warm hand. Chills ran through my body as I felt his warm hand on my cold and red face, he immediately warmed me up with only one slight touch.

"I love to see you happy." He said his voice a little childish as he was saying it adorably. He tugged my hair behind my air. "I'm happy if you are too."

"You are too cheesy, what happened to you?" I looked at him suspiciously.

He chuckled at that. "You happened; I can't help it." He slowly leaned closer to me and slightly pecked my lips with his. Then he looked at me and smiled like I was the only human being on Earth.

"So, it's my fault?" I whispered onto his lips, that still hovered over mine.

"Yes, it is." His eyes were on my lips, as he whispered the words sweetly.

Then he closed the distance again between our lips and kissed me more passionately, putting his heart into the kiss, giving it to me so I could keep it safely in my imaginary safe made out of unbreakable metal, but sometimes that metal can get infected and it can crack and that hurts. As I kissed him back my lips slowly moving against his, the world was gone around us, and I did the same with my heart, giving it to him, so he could keep my heart wherever he wanted to. I hoped our hearts belonged to the other and no one else.

"Let's put that silly padlock on." He said as we separated from the kiss, caressing my cold cheeks.

I just nodded and took his hand to lead him through the bridge's middle.

"It's nice to be back in here." He said as we were looking around, observing the padlocks people already left there.

"Have you been here before?" I asked him surprised with a frown.

Suddenly his expression changed, as we stopped in the middle of the bridge, people around us walking and smiling, the sky had already gone dark, and only the street lights showed the way.

"Well…yes." He scratched the back of his head, averting my eyes.

"I didn't know, when?" He acted strange all of a sudden and I didn’t know why.

"Last year—with… Hana." He slowly looked up, to see my reaction.

I gulped and my heart started to race quickly as I heard her name. I really wanted to stay calm it wasn't the time to argue again as he knew it was an uncomfortable topic between us.

I nodded barely visible. "I see…" I looked down on my hands. "And did you like—were here?" My voice came out strange, it lost its power as I pointed at the padlocks.

"Y—yes," Hongjoong said noticing as my expression changed very quickly. He stepped closer to me to hold my hands. I just looked down at our hands and then at the padlocks. "But it was in the past and you know it, Y/N. I want to do this with you." He reached his hands towards my face, but before he could touch it, I stopped him.

"Well, I don't want to anymore." My voice came out serious, my face looked hurt and disappointed. I stepped back, putting distance between us.

"C'mon, Y/N. You can't be serious." He stepped closer to me and I stepped back again on that. He scoffed at that. "Why can't you put it all behind you? It was a long time ago."

"Because she's everywhere I go, Hongjoong, anything I do with you has to do something with her." Tears started to well up in my eyes.

"It's not, you just made it up here," He pointed at his temple."…because you can't get over it, Y/N." He seemed upset as his voice got more serious.

I scoffed at that in disbelief. "So, now you think I'm crazy?"

It is very unpredictable how everything can change from heaven to hell.

"No, you are not crazy, but you definitely can't let go of the past and be in the present…with me." Hongjoong said running his fingers through his brown short hair.

"What can I do, when all the time I see her face, everywhere." I lifted my arms helplessly. "In our daily life, in our home…in your eyes." One tear slowly escaped my left eye.

"When will you understand she is nothing to me now?" He stepped closer to me, disappointment showing on his face. "When will you understand you are my everything? That I love you and no one else." His voice got lower, weaker.

"I know that you love me, you don't need to remind me like it's an obligation." I looked at him already feeling so far away from him.

Hongjoong scoffed at that. "What are you talking about?"

"You always sound like you have to assure me you love me." I looked down at the ground, where our shadows melted into each other. I just wanted to hide from him. "I am sure you love me. But…it's just a feeling I can't shake."

"You have no idea what are you talking about. Can't you get that you are my fucking world Y/N?" I felt as he stared at me with deadly eyes, growing more furious.

Stressed, I ran my fingers through my hair, tears streaming down my face. "But you aren't mine," I barely said out loud, knowing he could hear me.

I couldn't see his expression as he stood there in silence for a moment.

"You think so?" he asked, his voice calmer.

I just nodded, unable to look up.

He chuckled and came closer to me, his breath close to my face. "So, let's make it fair, then. Shall we?" His voice was like a threat. Then he grabbed the padlock from my hand and threw it away into the water. I stared at him, my eyes wide in shock. "I wanted to make you happy, to do cheesy things like this. But if you can't understand, let's just stop."

"I never wanted to fight," I mumbled.

"But we always do, Y/N." He lifted his eyebrows as he looked at me, disappointed. "It wasn't like this before."

"What do you mean?" I asked him, confused.

"I mean, when we started, it was nice. We were happy, no arguing. But you kept looking into my past and everything changed." He looked into my eyes, tired of the arguments.

"Because she was always there in the back of my mind." I sniffled and wiped away a tear.

"She isn't now. But you can't see it." He shook his head slightly. 

"Honestly…I don't know if I can be with someone who can't let go of the past…" I snapped my head up at that, his face was nothing but serious without any emotions. My heart started to race more quickly than before.

"Hongjoong…" I stepped closer to him with regret on my face.

"No." Now he was the one who stepped back, and my heart started to crack. "I am tired of this, you have to let go of our past and be present completely, not only with half of your heart." He said those words like it was venom and it flew right into my lungs poisoning it so I couldn't breathe anymore.

"We will talk when you finally manage to do that." He put his hands into his pockets and just passed by me like we suddenly became two strangers, leaving me there on the bridge where we could've locked our love forever, he left me with a heart suddenly broken into millions of pieces.

Did I cross the line?

The thing is Hana was Hongjoong's ex-girlfriend and my best friend.

My best friend and Hongjoong got together three years ago and broke up last summer. And it wasn't particularly because of me, well I played a little part in that as well, but they just always argued about little annoying things and I was the one who reconciled them. I'm not sure when it happened, but the more I was hanging out with my best friend and her boyfriend the more I felt something wasn't right. I started to feel something towards Hongjoong and I knew it wasn’t right so I quickly buried it deep down into my soul, so no one would know it.

I watched them through these years when they were arguing and when they hated each other, but they always made up at the end of the day and everyone was happy.

Not until one day, Hongjoong found out Hana cheated on him. That day was a disaster because the more time I spent with Hongjoong, the closer I grew to him. I considered him a friend and liked him. I could talk about things with him, that I didn’t even tell my best friend. It was hard to take sides, to be honest, it was cruel of my best friend but at the same time she was my best friend and I needed to be by her side. She was crying on my shoulder even though she fucked all of this up. Slowly, Hongjoong walked out of our lives, and it didn't feel right for some reason. Not seeing him every day, not knowing what he was doing, made my heart ache for some reason and I was so confused.

Not until July.

We accidentally ended up at the same event connected to our work and started talking. We talked, but like we just met, like we didn't know each other before like Hana didn't even exist. I felt guilty of course but sometimes people have to be selfish, for their own sake. We had a deep connection with Hongjoong and I didn't want to let it go. I just couldn't.

From then on, we grew closer to each other, and got to know each other. And one night, Hana saw us, of course, I didn't tell her about Hongjoong, that we were talking. And of course, the universe loved us and Hana saw us exactly that summer night when Hongjoong kissed me for the first time. When he kissed me, I felt like I was finally complete, like I found the missing piece of my lost soul. But when I saw Hana's face, my soul immediately burnt into specks of dust.

Until then, all I could see was her face when he saw us, the hatred in her eyes, that I could understand. I haven't see her since then, but she lives in my head rent-free. I hated myself because this was the cruelest thing a best friend could do. But I stayed selfish and chose Hongjoong because he made me happy and made me feel alive.

And now I fucked up everything because I can't get through our past. What happened is happened, but when he touches me all I can think of is how she felt, I always compare myself to her.

As I was standing on the bridge and trying to somehow organize my thoughts, I just started to walk in the city that was full of couples and happy people. The city was alive, restaurants were open, and people were celebrating, and laughing together. Yet, I was there walking past them with my eyes crying out, slowly losing myself in the dark. When I passed by a lucky charm seller, the old lady beckoned me to go there. I frowned as I slowly approached her.

"My daughter, you look sad, did somebody break your heart?" She asked me putting his hands on my shoulders.

I nodded tears appearing in my eyes again. "But… it was my fault…so I deserve it." My voice came out weak.

"No one deserves a broken heart, sweet girl." She slowly wiped off my tears. "These lucky charms will tell you what to do, I am sure." She pointed at the little papers with green trefoils on them.

I just shrugged, I didn't believe in these things, but at least I could make someone happy by buying one. I chose one randomly and paid for it, thanking the lady.

"And don’t forget, sometimes before loving someone else, we have to learn how to love and how to receive it." She smiled at me and let me keep going.

I put the lucky charm in my pocket, not even bothering to read it, and walked forward without any destination. All I could think about was Hongjoong and how much I fucked up. It was a perfect day…why did I have to fuck it up? As I walked next to the river my palm was itching in my pocket so I stopped to read the paper. I slowly opened the decorated paper.

"I fell in love with you because you loved me when I couldn't love myself.

 And then you realize it was all real."

I read the lines with my heart slowly warming up and pumping quicker. I never believed in things like these, but these lines hit me hard in the chest just so I could realize how stupid I was, how stupid I was to think Hongjoong didn't love me. I mentally face-palmed myself and tried to stop myself from jumping straight into the cold river and turned around just to run back to our hotel, hoping Hongjoong was going to be there.

Hongjoong wasn't there and he will never come back. He will never come back, because I made myself believe he had anything to do with Hana and that he always compared me to her. But the truth is I compared myself to her and it made my brain a fool, so I believed every cruel thing it whispered to me.

I collapsed on the bed, hugged myself and here I was, crying my soul out with a broken heart, on Valentine's Day, in the city of love.

Hours or just minutes passed by, and I lost track of time when I heard the door closing. I opened my eyes quickly; I was facing the door to our room laying on my right side. Hongjoong slowly stepped inside and took off his winter coat his eyes on me the whole time. I couldn't tell what was he thinking.

I sat up as he approached me and sat on the bed, just to cup my cried-out face into his, now cold, hands.

He leaned his forehead against mine as he whispered. "Oh, my little bun. You make my heart break, seeing you like this."

Probably I looked like hell, my eyes red, my cheeks puffy, my make-up smashed from crying. 

I slowly held his wrists that cupped my face. "Hongjoong I—" Tears found their way out again; I didn't understand how I hadn't dried out by now. I started to sob.

"I'm sorry, my love, I shouldn't have talked to you like that." He hugged me, his fingers running through my hair, trying to calm me down.

I slowly lifted my head from his chest. "No, you were right, Hongjoong." Words could finally leave my mouth. "I was living in the past, that hurt me, but at the same time healed me…you healed me. I was so broken, but you managed to glue together the pieces of me. But this Hana thing just hunted me and I couldn't run away it’s like she cursed me just so I could feel his revenge." I looked down at my hands sniffing.

Then I looked into his eyes and the mate of my soul looked at me like I was the most vulnerable creature on Earth. And that was the moment I got reassured about everything.

"I'm so sorry for making you feel like it was all your fault when it was just my fucked-up mind. You are my everything Hongjoong, and I couldn't spend even a minute without you in my life. Please, don't leave me…" My tears flew down my cheeks endlessly.

He sighed and slowly reached for my hands, holding them like a treasure. "You are a fool if you think it is an obligation for me to say I love you. I say it because I mean it with all my heart, and to let you know that Hana is in the past you know I never really loved her. Not like I love you. You are my partner in life, my future and I never want to let you go." He wiped my tears away as his eyes watered and a little teardrop escaped his eye. I immediately wiped it away, not wanting to see him cry because of me. Ever.

"I love you so-so much!" I whispered weakly as I cupped his face.

"I love you endlessly, bun." He smiled at me adoringly, his smile that cured everything inside me and his lips on mine that slowly put the broken pieces of my heart into its place, my heart being whole again, in one piece, just so I could give it to him, into his hands to do whatever he wanted to it, because I just belonged to him and he belonged to me.

He kissed me slowly, like never before, his soft lips moving along mine leaving a sweet taste behind. I slowly crawled into his lap, straddling his thighs. His hands found their place on my waist like they belonged there and squeezed it like he never wanted to let me go. Our kiss got more hotter as I parted my lips letting his tongue inside, discovering every hidden place of my mouth, like he wanted to taste every inch of me. My hands crawled into his hair squeezing it as a moan left his mouth. His hands slowly got their way under my clothes, running his fingers up and down my back, like he couldn't get enough of me.

"You are so beautiful, Y/N." He whispered onto my lips between hot kisses. He looked at me like he couldn't believe his eyes. "You are my beautiful girl." His lips traced over mine as he firmly bit my lower lip.

I chuckled at that, as he quickly flipped us over and he hovered above me, supporting himself with his hands on both sides of my head and he just looked at me. I got impatient and quickly lifted my head so I could kiss him, but he pushed me back to the bed and kissed me harshly, my body felt hot, and I felt like I could burn alive.

Everywhere he touched me burned my skin down to my bones. But I didn’t care because I knew he was the love of my life, that one person who was always beside me and supported me no matter what. The past needs to be locked in the past and the present needs to be lived just so I can build a strong future alongside the emotions I feel, alongside Hongjoong, now, on Valentine's Day and in the city of love, Paris.

[yerimbrit]

beam : r. sarang

synopsis: ryu sarang: the ultimate cuddlebug whom you cannot resist. (?)

# : pairing ! ryu sarang x 8th member!reader

# : tags ! reader's gender isn't specified, domestic fluff, it's all fluff really, extremely self indulgent, this is basically all of my thoughts but in a fic, ryu sarang we love you our dimple girl

# : wordcount ! 0.7k

# : warnings ! none

the one day you decided beforehand to wake up early and be productive, you find yourself trapped.

you try to squirm out of the arms of the intruder who probably snuck in last night, but you're trapped. trapped under someone's very warming, impossible-to-escape grasp.

who could it be? well, you can only think of one person—your fellow member of izna and lovely girlfriend—ryu sarang, that is. who else could it be? your roommate koko isn't one for crawling into your bed in the middle of the night. at least you hope she isn't.

once again attempting to get out of the arms holding you captive, the girl finally stirs awake and whines, only tightening her embrace.

you tap against her dainty hands with a sense of urgency, feeling your breaths shorten with each exhale. sarang loosens her grip, but doesn't let go.

"sarang..."

"no," the 'o' drags out, and an incoherent grumble follows, one which you can feel against your shoulder blade, "it's too early..."

that's true. it's six am, the sun only barely peeking out from the horizon, and its rays haven't made their way through your pink curtains yet. you're laying comfortably in bed, cooling blanket tossed messily over your (and your girlfriend's) torso.

there's no planned schedule, not for you, but the older members do—mai, jeemin, and jiyoon are attending an event later in the day as izna. you were planning on going on an early jog, stop by a newly opened bakery to buy some sweet delicacies for your members, then maybe continue working on lyrics for a song on the new album.

you successfully manage to turn around to face the girl, your hand reaching up to pinch her cheek. "when did you sneak in here?"

sarang scrunches up her nose, forcing you to resist the urge to pepper kisses all over her face in cuteness aggression. she fills your world with so much love (no pun intended) that you can't get enough of it; it's addicting. so addicting.

"i think maybe two am... i just felt like it," she mumbles, batting her eyelashes with a pout.

of course, because of how she's laying on her side, the effectiveness of her pout is amplified. having her do this right in front of you makes you melt, fighting a smile but ultimately failing in the end. "you're such a cutie."

sarang returns a smug dimpled smile of her own after seeing your struggle and hearing your comment. she's so pretty.

have you mentioned how perfect your girlfriend is? talented, passionate, charming, dimples. dimples? sorry, your other thoughts leaked in. ryu sarang is thee dimple girl, your girlfriend who is the cutest in the world and, no, no one can change your mind about that. not even puppies, because she also resembles one. it only adds to her cuteness.

regardless of your perfect girlfriend, you unfortunately have things to do today. an agenda that is not mandatory, but one you would rather not skip. "i have things to do, sarangie."

it's only after she hugs you closer that you're reminded of your situation: you're trapped in the unescapable embrace of ryu sarang. and now you're so close together that you can feel her breath fanning against your cheek. if you leaned in just a tiny bit closer you'd be able to give her sweet butterfly kisses.

"can't you do them later?" sarang frowns, her fingers lightly drawing nameless shapes onto your back. "it's so early."

yeah, it is. and you don't have any set times that you had to do the tasks that you had planned. her argument is completely valid, and a 'you lose' screen manifests in your mind.

"fine."

sarang blinks. "fine?"

"you win. let's go back to sleep." you surrender. saying no to sarang is a losing game, anyway.

your girlfriend grins in victory and swiftly pecks you on the lips. you wouldn't have known she'd kissed you if not for the lingering feeling on your mouth or her giggly mood promptly after—but you digress.

watching as sarang falls asleep rather quickly, the corner of your lips quirk up in content. you feel so lucky to have met her, and you feel even more lucky to be able to spend every next second, minute, and hour with her.

the peaceful rise and fall of her chest calms you, and you let your eyes fall shut. worrying about today's agenda can wait. worrying about everything can wait, debut, performances, photoshoots, whatnot.

you choose to bask in this moment, the sunrise shining through your pink curtains and your lovely girlfriend ryu sarang snoring lightly in front of you.

a/n : ryu sarang 😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷

[zukosdualdao]

the moon will sing a song for me (i loved you like the sun)

zutara month, day seven: divine intervention, @zutaramonth.

summary: when zuko takes the lightning aimed for katara, it takes a little more than her usual healing to get him back from the brink. feat. yue's words of encouragement and empowering influence on katara, medically necessary bloodbending, and a zuko who is too out of it to understand much of what is going on, but that's okay. katara has him.

content warnings: general references to violence and wounds, nothing more explicit than the show.

notes: title is from "the moon will sing" by the crane wives. yes i do too many lyric titles. no i will not stop <3. idk when sozin's comet officially ended but for fic purposes we are imagining the timing makes sense for the moon to be out after the agni kai. two pieces of dialogue were taken from the show.

Zuko groans as he's being turned over. His bones feel like liquid, his skin set alight, his heart like a crater in his chest.

Katara, he thinks, he tries to say, he doesn't know.

Katara looks at him with a worried expression, her lips turned in a frown, her eyes wide with fear and sadness as she presses a watery hand to his crumpled, prone form.

She is worried but alive. She is alive, and if she is here, then she must have defeated Azula.

Katara is alive. That is what counts. This was his destiny, then. To save her.

It wasn't a bad note to end on.

Zuko closes his eyes. There's a hammering thud in his chest. He is so tired. Normally, he'd associate the feel of it with exertion, or else desperation, and he would feel frantic. But he is so tired. He has been so tired.

"No," he thinks he hears Katara say. It sounds like she's underwater, or perhaps he is. "No, Zuko, don't you dare."

He struggles to open his eyes again because he doesn't want her to sound so angry with him and doesn't want her to be sad. It only feels like a moment has passed, or maybe it has been hours.

She is looking up. Pale, yellow light shadows her.

Katara is speaking with the moon.

The moon is also a girl.

Someone told him a story like that once.

A spirit, he thinks a little redundantly, with white tresses of hair and a glowy form and a gentle smile. The moon spirit?

Zuko jerks, a spasm of his body as he lights up again with the pain, and Katara looks back to him, alarmed.

"—but you know another way," the moon-girl insists softly to Katara, whom Zuko looks at as her mouth sets in a thin, determined line. Unless he's imagining it all, which is possible. "And I am here with you now."

After a moment's hesitation, Katara nods and sets her left, water-encased hand against his chest again and raises her other in a motion he faintly recognizes.

"This is going to hurt," she says warningly, sadly. "But it will help. I think. It has to." She shakes her head, torn.

Zuko doesn't know what's going on, but if Katara says it will help, that's all that really matters.

"I trust you," he slurs. Is that him? Does he sound like that?

Katara blinks. Zuko watches tears slip from her cheeks.

And then, it starts. She did not lie about it hurting. Despite himself, Zuko feels his body rising from the ground in pain and panic, and Katara has to keep him pressed down. His blood is boiling, his chest swelling. This must be what dying feels like. But then, he's pretty sure he was dying before. He supposes it's a process.

"—sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry—" Zuko makes out the words, faint in his ears, though Katara sobs them out.

Eventually, though, the beat of his heart evens. His blood begins to simmer down. The pain melts.

He watches as Katara pulls back, resting on her knees. The moon-girl smiles down on them before fading back into being just the moon, high in their war-torn sky again.

Nothing that just happened makes any sense, Zuko decides dazedly. But it was Katara who saved him, and that made all the sense in the world.

"Thank you, Katara," he rasps, looking up at her through heavy eyes. Looking at her made everything in the world seem alright again.

She looks down at him with a soft expression and a watery smile.

"I think I'm the one who should be thanking you."

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 3

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Gif creds to @bestintheparsec

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 2.5K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

Sorry this took so long. Work :( But I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. :) Thanks for reading!

-Pedro's POV-

The warmth of the midday sun beamed through the window as Pedro glanced nervously at his watch. 12:55PM. Finally, he grabbed his laptop and lay down on his couch with a soft *flump*. He quickly typed in "The Jazz and AllyKat show" into the search engine and opened up the website for your interview, just in time for it to begin broadcasting live. He knew you wouldn't be visible, but he would be lying if he said he hadn't been waiting anxiously since they announced it two days ago.

He was interested in hearing more about you. Hearing your voice speaking instead of just singing. Hearing the passion and levels of expression you may portray. Do you have an accent? A high or low voice? A lisp or a stutter? A rasp? You were such a mystery to him and the world, yet your shared conversation over Instagram the other day was so heartfelt. He appreciated your candor and vulnerability, especially in show business.

He couldn't figure out why… but ever since he heard your song, he couldn't stop thinking about you. There was something about you that seemed to draw him in. He was impressed with your lyrics and swooned at your voice. That voice! But with everyone contemplating who you were and who you liked, Pedro didn't want to be another one of those people, making you feel pressured. But he was certainly curious. 

The video began and he listened intently, not wanting to miss a single word. When your voice chirped a hello to the interviewers and listeners, his heart skipped a beat. He swore it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. He was drawn to you and wanted to learn anything he could, so he listened, trying to keep his breathing as silent as possible to not miss it. Why am I feeling like this? We've only had one conversation. Why am I so drawn to her, especially when she's already in love with someone?… he interrogated himself.

The interview discussed your favorite color, animals, and books, which Pedro vowed to read as soon as he could get to a bookstore. You listed off your favorite films and shows. However, although you had a great taste in cinema, he couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that none of his roles were on your list. Clearly it's not you she loves, so you can put that out of your head now. He should feel relief, but instead he feels hollow at that realization.

When asked who your best friend is, you gush about your guy bff. You talk about how much you love him. How cute and sweet he is. Pedro can't help but feel a bit jealous of this guy who you love so much. But he listens on, his heart perking up and bubbling over when he hears you finally explain that your best friend is your dog.

Not only does she have a dog, but he's her best friend. And the way she talks about him is so…adorable, he thinks, gushing over your shared love of the fuzzy animals. He wonders what your dog's name and breed is, but you refuse to answer that question from the interviewers, for fear that someone may recognize his name and breed, tying him to you. The interviewers make a joke on your paranoia, which you ignore and Pedro scoffs at, their lack of understanding poking a protective instinct inside of him.

The conversation suddenly rolls into celebrity crushes and his chest tightens. But before they can ask you, he hears the air horn signaling the amount of viewers. Although he's disappointed to miss the potential answer you may have given, he also feels that strange protective feeling over you again, making him feel annoyed at the interviewers, knowing your desire for privacy. His thoughts only shift into a possessive manner for a millisecond before Ally proposes the possibility of your crush potentially listening to the show. His heart and emotions are on a bumpy roller coaster and he's practically jittery at the anticipation. He's leaning in to hear your answer when the door to his house barges open and a frustrated Oscar Isaac walks in, complaining in Spanish.

Startled, Pedro slams his laptop closed and flings it towards the coffee table, nearly spilling his drink. He yells questioningly, wondering why his best friend is barging into his home unannounced. Oscar is fully in the living room now, hands on his hips and ready to rant again. But before he has a chance to continue his argument with Pedro, he squints. His eyes look to the laptop, then to Pedro, now standing and looking frazzled after jolting up from the seat. He looks at Pedro's face again, eyebrow raised questioningly, and points to the laptop. "Were you watching porn?"

Pedro is dumbfounded, and if he wasn't on such high alert, he would've thought to lie and say he was watching porn. Instead he blurts "NO, I was not watching porn." It sounded like a lie. Oscar looks again from the laptop to Pedro, noticing his flushed cheeks and giving him a once over from head to toe, looking for any tells, other than the blush and the panic. "Yeah right, you slut. Let's see then."

Oscar reaches for the laptop, and Pedro grasps for it too, just a second behind. Too slow. Pedro argues "I wasn't. Not that it should matter, seeing as I'm in my own HOME… alone. Or should I say previously alone." Pedro throws his hands up in frustration. Oscar just laughs. "Okay let's see what you're so interested in then, that you don't even hear me knocking on your door or trying to contact you." He cracks open the computer.

"You're watching…an interview?" Oscar looks at Pedro, confused at why he would be so wigged out over a talk show. "I told you," Pedro replies, pointedly. Oscar glances back at the computer again, his brow suddenly relaxing and his lips turning into a mischievous smirk. "Ohh. I see… This is that girl you defended in your interview, huh? Someone got a little crush?" 

Pedro rolled his eyes and scoffed, trying to push away the warmth grazing his cheeks. "No. I don't have a crush. I was just looking for something to do and saw it pop up on my page…" Pedro rambled on, "plus it's just curious how much she's keeping a secret, you know? Everyone is wondering about these things." Oscar listened, amused, and Pedro continued. Please stop talking, Pedro thought to himself. "Plus I don't even know her. A crush? That's ridiculous."

"She doesn't know that guy in her song either and she managed a crush… and you defended it," Oscar said matter-of-factly. Pedro rolled his eyes, and Oscar continued. "Are you hoping her crush is on you?" 

Pedro sputtered out a quick answer. "Please. She sounds young... it's probably on someone like Harry Styles. Why would she have interest in an old man like me?" Oscar patted Pedro's shoulder. "You're too hard on yourself." Pedro ignored him and continued, "plus you know how I feel about relationships." 

"Yeah yeah…" Oscar continued in a mocking tone, hand pretending to be a sock puppet while he recited, "I don't have the time to properly grow a relationship, I don't want to get hurt, I'm focusing on my career…" Pedro ignored his mocking tone and simply agreed with the recitation. "Yes… now… Why did you feel the need to barge in here unexpectedly?"

"It wouldn't have been unexpected had you checked your messages. I texted you four times and even messaged your Instagram when I didn't get a reply," Oscar defended. 

"You know I'm not a texter," Pedro disputes.

"Yeah, no shit, abuelito. How many messages are unread on your phone? 600?" Oscar banters.

Pedro hastily defended himself. "No! I call them back! And abuelito!? Really?" He tuts. "You're not far behind me, pendejo. Plus you know I never check my Instagram messages either. I hardly even log on. You should've called me instead."

"I did. Twice. Anyway, I wanted to see if you were still available to watch the kids later. Buuuut, after not hearing back, I just decided to check on you. Glad to see you're alive, and clearly just distracted." Oscar wiggles his eyebrows.

Pedro crosses his arms, ignoring Oscar's last remark. "Yes, of course I'll watch the kids. Go enjoy yourselves!"

"Thanks P. You're the best… and I know I'm picking on you, but I just want you to be happy. I think if you like this girl you should try and talk to her. Dust off the cobwebs of your Instagram and actually message her or something."

I already have… Pedro thinks, running his thumb across his bottom lip. "Thanks, man."

Oscar left with a friendly pat on Pedro's shoulder. "See you later tonight then with the kids!"

Upon closing the door, Pedro sped over to his laptop again, hopeful that your interview hadn't ended yet. Fortunately for him, it was still recording. He hoped he hadn't missed anything.

The interviewer named Ally spoke. "Nice try. You know who we're trying to find out about. Has he, the man of your dreams and star of your lyrics, contacted you at all? Will we see a romance blooming?"

Pedro's heart pounded so loud he feared he would miss your answer. If she says yes… his mind entertains, not knowing the answer to the rest of that thought.

You spoke, hesitantly, and he felt the protective urge creep over him again. He wanted to know the answer but he hated hearing you uncomfortable . "I uh… I have received a lot of messages, some of them from celebrities."

He swallowed hard, his breath catching in his throat.

The interviewers replied excitedly. "Yeeeeaaaah?????"

There's a long pause. The silence is deafening, apart from the booming timpani of Pedro's heartbeat.

You answered, so softly he almost missed it. "Yes. We've talked."

He stopped breathing. 

"Did you tell him it was him? Did you admit you love him?"

"Absolutely not. It was just a nice conversation," you laughed.

We had a nice conversation…

"Will you tell us who he is? At least a description? An initial?" Jazzy asked, desperate for answers.

Ally chimed in "anything! We're starving here."

You giggled before answering. The most beautiful laugh he's ever heard. "I won't do that much, but I will say… he has brown curly hair... Gorgeous brown eyes… And he seems really funny and nice."

I have curly brown hair and brown eyes.. maybe it could be me, his heart offered the idea. I try my best to be funny and nice too.

It could also be Tom Holland. Or Dylan O'Brien. Or some other young actor, his self-doubt chimes in. But he also knew based on your eye color descriptor, that it wasn't Harry Styles, shutting down his earlier guess.

Ally lets out a huff. "That's a pretty broad answer but I guess it narrows out a few people.."

"Well we have another surprise. A way to narrow it down a little more…" Jazz proposes.

"Oh? What's that?" You replied. Pedro could hear the nervousness in your tone.

Jazz continued "I asked our tech to work his magic, and he managed to pull a list of our viewers during the highest number of people tuning in…"

Pedro's heart picked up speed.

"Then, since he's so good at working a computer, he was able to filter it further, running the names through the web and pulling out any celebrities. We have a list here and all you have to do is read through and say if he's on the list of viewers. The only ones who would know are the three of us. Of course if he's watching, he will also know if he's in the running or not."

You stuttered out, "o-okay.."

There was a long pause on your end while you read, and Jazz and Ally filled in the space with chatter.

Pedro sat, waiting nervously for your answer.

"Uhm… no. None of these names.." you finally answered.

His heart sank. It wasn't him. You didn't love him.

"That's disappointing," Ally answered. "I had really hoped he was listening. I'm sorry. I thought when we filtered through the viewers with our celebrity listener filter, we'd have some luck."

"It's okay.. he's probably busy or something.." you answered, though your disappointment was hard to hide. "Maybe he will listen later when he has time."

Pedro was logged in on his account. His name would've been on that list, and you just confirmed, without calling him out personally, that he wasn't the one you loved.

The interview soon ended and he closed his laptop with a sigh, flopping back onto his couch. He had hoped to message you and tell you he watched the video. But now he didn't see the point in it. You already knew he watched it, and you probably didn't care. He closed his eyes and eventually decided to try and ignore his feelings. You don't even know her. Don't be stupid. It's just a crush.. a stupid, hopeless crush..

Looking out the window, Pedro noticed the sun setting outside and glanced at the clock on his stove. Realizing Oscar would be back soon with the kids, he decided he needed to snap out of it. Put on a happy face before babysitting duty. He began straightening up the house and getting things ready before finally turning on a cartoon movie just in time for them to arrive. 

Oscar greeted him, and sat the kids in front of the movie. He knew his friend well enough to see through his smile and know he was upset about something. But he also could tell Pedro needed some space to sort things out in his mind first before he was ready to talk. So he left the kids with a profuse thank you, and headed out the door, leaving Pedro alone with his thoughts and two small bundles of energy.

Unbeknownst to Pedro, you looked through the list of celebrity viewers, scanning for his name. But thanks to his friend's intrusion, at the time that they filtered the list, he was disconnected from the live video. He wasn't on the list you saw.

Kept busy with the kids, it wasn't until they were back home with their parents that Pedro was forced to think about his feelings. Maybe he would still message you either way. You probably needed more friends and allies in this business, and he did enjoy talking to you, even if he wasn't the one you loved. If you didn't want to form a friendship with him back, that was fine too. But he would try. Still, his disappointment was settling in his heart. He didn't realize how much he was starting to care about you until you said he wasn't on that list.

So with the shared belief that neither of you cared about one another, you both went to bed, you both felt heavy in your hearts, and you both couldn't help but feel light tears spilling onto your cheeks as sleep eventually took over.

Equally unknown to you, he was watching, and he planned to watch it again when the video was posted, just to hear you talk a little bit longer. Just to learn more about you. Learn the tiny personality quirks he could pick out from your voice. Things that make you who you are, until maybe he could meet you in person. 

That's all for this chapter!! Thank you again for reading and let me know what you think.

Looking for the next chapter? Here!

Taglist: (Let me know if you want in!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson

[escxelle]

i'm convinced sleep token are stem girlies because the amount of physics, maths and chemistry in their lyrics hmmm. lemme list all the references below the cut <3 (just as an fyi: this is a joke and i'm not being serious!! i'm just pointing out all the science references in their songs, dw)

alright, bit of a stretch to start but: "sulfur on your breath, granite in my chest." - granite from take me back to eden (2023). sulfur obviously being an element and granite is a rock (i'm not a chem student, i do astrophysics sorry idk anything else skdjsjd)

i'm being really picky but like "these days i'm a circuit board, integrated hardware you cannot afford." - aqua regia from take me back to eden (2023). vessel is an engineering girlie!! /j also i could point out the latin title is a mixture of nitric acid and hydrochloric acid sooo

still in aqua regia, we have "sugar on the blood cells, carbon on the brain." mhm, speak stem girlie!

aqua regia is full of stem textbooks: "oxytocin running in the ether. silicon ballrooms. subatomic interactions if it's all good. gold rush, acid flux. saturate me, i can't get enough. cold love, hot blood." so the debrief: oxytocin is a hormone. ether are a class of compounds. the rest i think is self-explanatory, as they're elements and cute little stem terms oxox

i love stretching. "your viscera welcome me in." - vore from take me back to eden (2023). viscera are the large organs inside the body, including the heart, stomach, lungs, and intestines. biology girlies!! /j

more stretching <3 "who encrypted your dark gospel in body language? synapses snap back in blissful anguish." - ascensionism from take me back to eden (2023). encryption is the process of encoding information!! a computer science girlie!! then synapses are the places where neurons connect and communicate with each other <3

"half algorithm, half deity. glitches in the code or gaps in a strange dream." who ate a programming textbook?! /j

"digital demons make the night feel heavenly." side note but i think we should start calling trolls digital demons.

"lipstick, chemtrails, red flags, pink nails." has someone maybe studied chemtrails in their chemistry classes hmmm? /j

as i'm an astrophysics student i have to mention this: "the shifting states you follow me through." - the apparition from take me back to eden (2023). states, huh? liquid turning into a solid time is it? /j

"i feel my shadown dissolving." - rain from take me back to eden (2023). a metaphor or a chemistry textbook? /j

"it's that chemical cut that i can get down with." have many chemical cuts, huh?? /j

i'm an astrophysics girlie (gn) so i have to include this one: "a dangerous disposition somehow refracted in light, reflected in sound."

"i dream in phosphorescence." - take me back to eden from take me back to eden (2023). phosphorescence is a type of photoluminescence related to fluorescence. i mean, come on! the rest lyric? really?

"sink porcelain stained, choking up brain matter and make-up. just two days since the mainframe went down and i'm still messed up." biology and software engineering much? /j

"if my fate is a bad collision." - euclid from take me back to eden (2023). collision? huh are you a particle, hm? also euclid was a greek mathematician ! currently in my special relativity notes i have written "flat euclidean space"! riddle me that, sleep token. /j

"just orbiting the vacuum i am." - atlantic from this place will become your tomb (2021). yes, orbiting like the sun and moon and planets, right?? /j

"push down into membranes and layers, creating a slow dissection." - like that from this place will become your tomb (2021). yeah we get it, you're a biology student /j

"you lie an inch apart on your own continuum." - the love you want from this place will become your tomb (2021). continuum, huh?

"and though echoing futures are the buckling sutures." - fall for me from this place will become your tomb (2021). i bet you've seen many sutures huh dr. vessel! /j

right prepare for a lot of references here folks. "she's not acid nor alkaline." - alkaline from this place will become your tomb (2021). do i really have to explain the actions of this chem girlie? /j

"ooh, let's talk about chemistry 'cause i'm dying to melt through to the heart of her molecules 'til the particles part like holy water. if anything, she's an undiscovered element." i'm sure you'd love to infodump about your favourite subject! /j

"'cause i am broken into fractions." - distraction from this place will become your tomb (2021). i bet you deal with fractions all the time, you maths nerd!! /j

"and we go beyond the farthest reaches where the light bends and wraps beneath us and i know as you collapse into me." - telomeres from this place will become your tomb (2021). light bending? how very relativity of you. also telomeres are structures made from DNA sequences and proteins found at the ends of chromosomes.

"and i choke myself on sacred vapour." - high water from this place will become your tomb (2021). vapour because it's changed state, right? /j

"keep up on the charm offensive anymore." - missing limbs from this place will become your tomb (2021). i'm doing particle physics right now so i know exactly what a charm quark is! also limbs??? hello again dr. vessel /j

"'cause i look for scarlet and you look for ultraviolet." - higher from sundowning (2019). using ultraviolet filters for your astrophotography are you?? /j

"let the impulse to love and the instinct to kill entangle to one." - say that you will from sundowning (2019). entangle? entanglement? quantum entanglement? i'm connecting the dots.

"i want to roll the numbers. i want to feel my stars align again even if the earth breaks like burnt skin." - blood sport from sundowning (2019). an astrophysics fr /j

"and somewhere, somewhere the atoms stopped fusing." more stem!

"and out there, stuck in a quantum pattern, tangled with what i never said." this is something a theoretical physicist would say is all i'm saying. /j

now you have to listen to sleep token to hear these bangers >:)

[its-time-to-write]

Hello! I absolutely love your work. You’re a fantastic writer. Is it possible for you to do something based a bit off of the song London Boy by Taylor Swift? If not I understand. I just feel there’s some cool way to tie it with Jamie Tartt. Sorry if it’s a bit of a generic request

ALRIGHTY gotta preface this, I actually hate this song 😂 Lyrics aren’t bad, but the like accent thing she does makes me die a little bit. BUT. I saw what you were going for (I think)! So here it is, I suffered through listening to this song bc you asked for a fic and I am nothing if not eager to please.

This is also a response to two other requests. So if that was you, ✌️😗 y’all were on the same page, congratulations. This is also my first song-based fic, although all of my works are (very, very loosely) based on songs. That’s why they have such insane titles😅 ANYWAY that’s enough talking from me. Enjoy!

i fancy you

i love my hometown as much as Motown, i love So-Cal

Richmond in London is very different from your hometown in Southern California. It’s colder, for one. And older. Things in California don’t have the same extended history as they do in England. You’re here visiting family for a couple months, although your cousins are trying to convince you to stay longer. 

“What do you really have waiting for you in California?” Holland asks.

“Uh, the beach. Sun. Great Mexican food.” you respond.

Holland isn’t buying it. “When else are you going to be able to live here? We can help you get a job and all that, not a huge problem.”

Holland is very convincing. You decide to stay for a year, single year, and see what happens.

Holland is four years older than you, and has always been the cousin you’re closest to. You’ve had a long-standing bond since being the two eldest sisters in your family. Holland takes you to clubs and introduces you to her friends, including a Miss Keeley Jones who thinks you are “abso-fuckin-lutely adorable.” 

“You have to bring her to a Richmond match, babes,” Keeley says. “Lots of fit footballers.” She winks.

You ask Keeley of she’s dating a footballer.

“Oh god no,” she shudders. “A coach.”

You don’t really see the difference.

saw the dimples first and then i heard the accent

It was a good match, even you can tell. The Richmond team played seamlessly, passing the ball back and forth without letting the other team even touch it. Their conductor of sorts, the one mediating the passes, was crazy. He never seemed to get tired, anticipating his teammates’ moves and those of the opposing team. It seemed like he was always five steps ahead of everyone. Holland notices you watching him and pokes Keeley.

“You like Jamie?” Keeley laughs. “Makes sense. Anyone with eyes likes him. He’s right fit, too. Good in bed, shit with feelings. Well, used to be. Still fucking cocky.”

That’s interesting. “You’ve been with him?” you ask.

Keeley gives you a 50/50 hand motion. “Sort of. Don’t really count it, do I? Was with him at his fucking worst. That’s why Roy fucking hates him.”

“He’s much better now,” Holland chimes in. “Something happened last season and he stopped being such a dick.”

“Holland!” you reproach, laughing. “That’s not nice!”

She and Keeley shrug. “It’s true though, innit?”

You don’t know if it is, because when you first see Jamie up close in the club later that night, he seems perfectly fine. You see a flash of a smile, a dimple, then he says something (you don’t know what) but his accent is… something else. It’s not like Holland’s, or any of your family, but you know enough to pinpoint it to Manchester. 

“The accent got you, didn’t it?” says a voice near your ear and you yelp as Holland slides her arm around your shoulder.

“Gets the best of us,” says Keeley, grabbing your hand. “C’mon, I’ll introduce you.”

She drags you over despite your protests.

he likes my American smile, like a child when our eyes meet, ‘darling i fancy you’

Regular dinner dates are scary, but dinner dates with a Premier League footballer are downright terrifying. 

You made Holland help you figure out what to wear, and when she showed up at your aunt’s house she had Keeley in tow.

“Heard you’re in need of a bit of a makeover,” she grins. “Lucky for you, that’s my specialty.”

Keeley and Holland have brought some of Holland’s dresses and you’re in a dark green one that “does fucking wonders for your hair, babe.”

Keeley did your makeup while Holland curled your hair and just like that, you’re ready to go.

You groan, “God, I fucking hate first dates,” while shaking out your arms. 

“It’ll be fine,” Holland promises, and she’s right.

It’s more than fine. It’s fucking fantastic.

“I like your smile,” Jamie says. “Fuckin’ American, it is.”

You laugh. “What does that even mean?”

Jamie shrugs. “It’s bigger. Brits are more reserved. Like Roy. You met Roy yet? Biggest fucking twat I ever saw,” but he says it with such affection that you’re sure he means something else.

His eyes are electric, blue and dazzling. They betray his every thought and feeling and right now you feel like if you hold his gaze any longer you’re going to say something completely stupid. 

Turns out your not the one to say something stupid; he is.

You’re walking back to his car, holding hands and swinging them in between you when he stops and says, “Darling, I fancy you.”

You grin and he returns it. He asks, “Was that British enough for you? Feel like you got the whole experience?”

“Definitely,” you say. “Was I American enough for you?”

“Dunno,” he replies, “Got to test one more thing.”

His lips are very soft on yours.

met all of his best mates, so i guess all the rumors are true

“This is Isaac, Colin, Dani, and Sam.”

Jamie is introducing you to some of his team. You’ve been dating for a month now, and your first picture together just popped up in the papers the night before.

The boys of AFC Richmond were pretty sure Jamie was seeing someone, but they didn’t know who it was. Jamie had set up this dinner thing a while ago, it just so happened that the tabloids got to you first. 

It’s not even that great a picture honestly, but you’d been around Nelson Road enough that the boys were able to recognize you. 

It’s a little unnerving to meet them, what with Isaac’s intense stare and Dani’s wide, wide smile. You’re grateful Colin and Sam are acting normal.

“We have an American coach,” Colin says in an attempt to break the ice. It does, because you’re all laughing at the absurdity of his attempt. 

“We have heard very much about you,” Dani says and you wonder if he ever stops smiling. It feels so weird and so normal to be at Jamie’s house with a pile of food and FIFA queued up on the TV, ready to go. You figure that if you’re meeting his friends, Jamie must be at least a little serious. He finds your hand and squeezes it under the table as Isaac cracks his first smile of the night. It’s weird dating a footballer, but you think you can get used to it.

babes, don’t threaten me with a good time

Jamie’s house is the largest you’ve ever been in, and it used to be strange that it was only just the two of you, clattering around that big home. 

It’s a cool night after a warm day so you both decided to lay in his backyard under the stars. 

It feels so much like something you’d do as a teenager, and you tell Jamie as much.

“Used to sneak on me mum’s roof,” he tells you. “Didn’t even do dumb shit, I’d just go to look.”

You lay there in silence for a few moments until you feel something tickle your side.

“Jamie!” you shriek.

“I didn’t do nothing!” he protests. “Must’ve been a bug.”

You don’t believe him, but you don’t push it until you feel another tickle.

“Babe!”

“Babe, it weren’t me, I swear,” he says and you really don’t believe him, especially when he tickles you again less than a minute later.

You laugh. “Fuck you, Jamie Tartt.”

He smirks. “Babe, don’t threaten me with a good time.”

“Hm, maybe I want a good time.”

Jamie’s grin widens and he sits up. “You know where the bedroom is, love.”

you know i love a London boy

“I don’t fucking get it,” Jamie says. You shrug. 

“I literally don’t either,” you say. Your dad leans over to Jamie. “So basically…” he begins.

He’s halfway through his explanation when Jamie pokes you. “Babe,” he says, “can we switch seats so I can hear your dad better?” You chuckle then wiggle your way into Jamie’s seat while he gets into yours.

“Why the fuck is it called ‘football’ if it’s with their hands?” Jamie asks.

Your dad shrugs. “Not a clue, son, not a clue.”

The game progresses and one of the teams scores a touchdown.

“Hold the fuck up,” Jamie says. “Why did their score change that much?”

“I know this one!” you exclaim. “Different types of goals get different points. And there’s something called a lateral which has to do with moving backward I think?”

You dad just shakes his head with a grin and doesn’t attempt to clarify. 

Your dad spends the second half explaining everything to a very focused Jamie, and he asks questions the entire car ride home. It’s funny have Jamie here in America, staying at your parents house and seeing where you grew up. 

When you’re finally back home and in bed, you pull him as close as you can and whisper, “I love you very, very much. You know that, right?”

You can feel Jamie smile against your hair. “I love you too, very fucking much.”

[winterflowersftw]

Blue Lock characters as Taylor Swift songs + explanation

Notes: Hi guys, so this was another random idea I so...here I am, I guess? But yea do tell me if you guys disagree with any of the song choices here lmao. Would love to hear from you guys

ISAGI YOICHI

"I laid the groundwork and then, just like clockwork

The dominoes cascaded in a line

What if I told you I'm a mastermind?"

And

"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail

Strategy sets the scene for the tale"

And

"Of a chain reaction of countermoves

To assess the equation of you

Checkmate, I couldn't lose."

My boy Isagi came into the Blue Lock system as the second last player and crept his way to the top. He's literally the mastermind pulling the pieces together and winning matches. It's really amazing how he had no ability tha made him stand out much except his brain and that was enough for him.

So yea this is HIS song.

BACHIRA MEGURU

"I never miss a beat

I'm lightnin' on my feet"

And

"I'm dancin' on my own (dancin' on my own)

I make the moves up as I go (moves up as I go)

But I keep cruisin'

Can't stop, won't stop groovin'

It's like I got this music in my mind

Sayin' it's gonna be alright"

The song 100% represents Bachira' childish, carefree and happy-to-go personality and some of the lyrics (which I put above) totally show his abilities like cmon. 😭

Okay so the first two lines are like about his dribbling ability, right? And even in the next para the top lines are like how he's not following a rhythm and is doing whatever he wants to and THAT IS SOMETHING HE DOES IN THE NEL. (Sorry got too excited)

And the last two lines are about the "monster" he had, which existed in his mind. It was very relevant in the first selection.

NAGI SEISHIRO

"And I'm just getting color back into my face

I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place

For so long, London

Had a good run

A moment of warm sun"

This is VERY specific but I do think this fits really well during the second selection when Nagi chooses to go with Isagi and leaves Reo. Nagi actually stops being the lazy-genius he had been until episode 10 of the anime which has the match between Team V and Team Z where has an awakening (hence the "getting color back into his face" lyric) and he is gaining a passion for football which he never thought someone like him could even have. In Episode Nagi, even Reo acknowledges that the one who made Nagi put in actual efforts in a football match (which he had never done before) was Isagi and not him. Isagi was the reason of Nagi's awakening. And Reo was so sad that he was not the reason.

And right after his awakening, he decides to leave Reo because now he actually wants to improve and has a goal: To beat Isagi. And for that he has to leave Reo. So...yeah.

ITOSHI RIN

"And you call me up again just to break me like a promise

So casually cruel in the name of being honest"

And

"Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again

But I'm still trying to find it"

And

"You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath"

Okay again this one is also very specific just like Nagi's but i think this song completely represents Rin's relationship with his brother, Sae. Beating Sae is the only reason we have been given for whatever he does.

When we first see Rin at the start of the second selection, one of the first things he says is how he has to beat his brother and that's basically the bane of his existence.

And in between the confrontation between the brothers when Sae comes home from Spain and thenU20 VS Blue Lock Eleven match; a year has passed and Rin's feeling fir his brother is EXACTLY the same. (Hence the second para)

Also we can notice this during the Itoshi brothers' flashback, Sae had always been the way he is at this point since childhood. But Rin was different, he was a happy and naive kid. But that's gone now. Also how after the U20 VS the Blue Lock Eleven match when Sae comes to Rin, and Rin (and us, the audience) think that Sae is going to praise Rin who had just been in his berserk mode before; the expression change on Rin's face is so evident and heartbreaking. His expression is almost the same one he had when he was a little kid. So yeah, its very heartbreaking when Sae praises Isagi and not him when Rin has been craving for his validation for a longggg time.

Notes part 2: This took me a lot of time to wrote so please don't let this flop 😭🤞

[tatertato]

life series smp winners playlists part 1

okay so i've been just absolutely brainrotting over this for like weeks now and its time to finally post it!

i've basically just been compiling songs that i think fit each of the life series winners, and they're either songs i've seen work really really well in animatics already or songs that would probably work really well, but are less popular or not associated with this fandom (yet)

i'll be linking+listing them here as well as providing little snippets of explanation for why i think the song fits, but i don't feel like making actual spotify playlists or smth, so if anyone else wants to do that, be my guest.

ofc i still had trouble finding good songs for some of them- if anyone seeing this has a good idea that i missed, lmk and i'll update these posts (no promises tho)

i was originally gonna put all of them into one post, but fortunately i have come to my senses, so this is part 1. here we go!

update:

pt 2 (LL!scott)

pt 3 (DL!pearl)

3rd Life: Grian

Eighth Wonder - Lemon Demon: this song gives major Watcher!Grian vibes imo

Extra clever Earth-bound spirit Ghost in the form Of a mongoose (watcher in the form of a player)

Hello, I'm here I'm living in the wall I know I might be small (common headcanons of short grian, also living surrounded by cactus walls!)

Jim, let me go I watch like Hell (self-explanatory)

2. A Big Day for Grimley - AJJ: this one is because of this animatic, and also the lyrics fit the characters almost too well

I went back to the desert, little Midwest in me And now I am colder than I used to be (it feels like him reflecting on his experiences in 3L)

I came back to the desert, and the desert came into me And now there’s a quietness, and it’s deafening (returned to the desert for the final duel, and now that he's the only one left, the absence of his partner is deafening)

i could go on much longer about this song, but i feel like the animatic sums it up really well so GO WATCH THAT GO GO GO

3. Take Me to War - The Crane Wives: i know that everyone and their mother has done desertduo crane wives, but i've yet to see anyone use this song, which is a shame since its one of my favorites!

I've earned myself a reputation That my bark is much worse than my bite But I keep snapping at Goliath's hands With all of my tiny might (technically, he's not red, and also his traps keep failing, so the threats are pretty empty, but that will not stop him from being a menace)

Take me to war Honey, I dare you I'll be the sweetest thing To ever scare you Give me a fight I can't resist Give me something to break with my fists Take me to war Honey, I dare you (same thing as the last one, but i had to put the chorus in this post, it's just too perfect)

So I will leave it where it's standing And instead I will find me a match I'll turn it all to kindling I'll burn it all down to ash (we love a bit of arson in this fandom)

4. Community Gardens - The Scary Jokes: this is watcher!grian again, sorry not sorry- i do have a really vivid image in my head of an animatic for this song tho (the brainrot goes deep, i cannot escape)

Full disclosure, I am a monster A creature of despair, not that that should be a cause for concern (its so watcher coded im gnawing on the walls)

You'll be fine, you honeycomb Who could ever hurt you? Who could be so cold? You'll be fine, oh, honey pie Who could ever hurt you? Who could be so unkind? (ok so remember when i said i had an animatic idea about two sentences ago? ya. so i imagine this part as watcher!grian going through and causing the final deaths of all the winners (except scar we'll get there i promise) for instance, smiting scott at the end of LL, severing pearl's soulmate string in DL, and checking the time left before killing martyn in LimL)

The culmination of man's mistakes came the day The sun ran so hot, it turned the desert to glass (this is the whole "hail mary" thing where they blew up the whole desert and still didn't kill anyone)

If there's something to be learned from all these losers It's that the price that you pay For arrogance and a false sense of immunity Is to face the wrath of a dying star (false sense of immunity is scar's no kill passes, reputation points, etc., which really didn't mean all that much in the end (see: Bdubs))

5. Passerine - The Oh Hellos: aside from the obvious bird symbolism (passerine are songbirds), the overall theme of this song fits the character pretty well! (i think it could also apply to DL jimmy if you squint)

You were the song that I'd always sing You were the light that the fire would bring But I can't shake this feeling that I was only Pushing the spear into your side again (3L typical desert/light/sun/fire imagery, with a bonus helping this time of 3L typical self doubt and/or survivor's guilt! you love to see it)

My palms and fingers still reek of gasoline From throwing fuel to the fire of that Greco-Roman dream Purifying the holy rock to melt the gilded seams It don't bring me relief, no it don't bring me nothing (more arson what can i say- also the hollow existentialism that comes with killing your friends)

When he comes a knocking at my door What am I to do, What am I to do, oh lord (ok i like to imagine this line as grian realizing that scar's SL win means he goes to hang out with the winners now, meaning uhoh reunion time! that's about to be awkward!)

6. Do It All The Time - IDKHBTFM: yeah i know it doesn't seem like it fits at first, but i think parts of it captures the spontaneous silliness of 3L pretty well

No reason why I'm only doing anything I want to do Because I do it all the time We're taking over the world A little victim-less crime (making monopolies (or trying to) really just because)

Now we're so young But we're probably gonna die It's so fun We're so good at selling lies (this one's pretty on the nose, but you get the idea)

and that's all for grian! stay tuned for LL!scott next!

[misskattylashes]

Instead of working today I have begun my concept album essays

The Arctic Monkeys and concept albums

Here is where I argue that Whatever People Say I Am, AM, TBHC and The Car are concept albums

Part One

Whatever People Say I am That’s What I’m Not (2006)

As I have said before, this whole album is a rock opera waiting to be written. The whole thing starts with the lines ‘anticipation has the habit to set you up, for disappointment in evening entertainment but, tonight there’ll be some love, tonight there’ll be a ruckus yeah regardless of what’s gone before’

This sums up the whole frigging album. Most of it is set up over one night on the town. There is the disappointment in love (Mardy Bum, Dancefloor, Dancing Shoes). Ruckuses come in the form of When the Sun Goes Down, Ritz to the Rubble and Riot Van. 

The album ends with A Certain Romance which once again sums up everything that has happened that night. ‘Don't get me wrong, though, there's boys in bands’, ‘And kids who like to scrap with pool cues in their hands, And just 'cause he's had a couple o' cans, He thinks it's all right to act like a dickhead (Riot Van/Ritz to the Rubble)

I would argue that there are two queer coded songs on this album. One being ‘You Probably Couldn’t See For the Lights’ that Alex reckoned was about Eva from The Little Flames…course it was Alex. Course it was Eva you made a bee-line for to teach you the chords to Put Your Dukes Up John…

The other one I would argue is Dancing Shoes – the red flag for me is the phrase ‘shit shock horror you’ve seen your future bride’ which to me screams of Northern working class expectation to marry some lass you probably met in a club. Also ‘so what you scared for? Well, don’t you always do the same? It’s what you’re there for but no’ which to me is that he’s there because he is expected to be but he doesn’t want to be because deep down it isn’t what he wants.

AM

In my opinion AM is a concept about loneliness and Alex being mucked about by Miles at a time when Miles wasn’t certain of his sexuality (I have been watching several young Miles interviews lately and his attempts to shoehorn women into them is quite painful). It is also an album with several mentions of secrets (Do I Wanna Know, Fireside, I Wanna Be Yours)

It starts with Do I Wanna Know…let’s look at the lyrics

(Baby we both know)

That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day

Here we possibly go back to our ‘Midnight’ theme (also explored in Knee Socks and  Pattern by TLSP) and Miles’ possible guilt around his sexuality. He’s willing to be with Alex alone at night, but daytime, openly is a different thing altogether. 

‘I'm sorry to interrupt it's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you’

Remember the famous ‘it’s rare we don’t look like we’re about to snog’ interview?

R U Mine

I'm a puppet on a string (ahem)

some velvet morning (as previously discussed Lee Aizlewood/Nancy Sinatra, loved by Miles)

Unfair we're not somewhere misbehaving for days (I mean come on…misbehaving)

Well, are you mine? (Are you mine tomorrow?)

Are you mine? (Or just mine tonight?)

This goes back to our theme that the person is willing to be with him at night but generally treats him like a dirty little secret during the day

One for the Road

I think this one could be a mixed song. 

‘From the bottom of your heart

The relegation zone

I saw this coming from the start’

Once again we’re back to Miles dumping him but the rest of the song hints at loneliness and maybe Alex trying to hook up with someone else after a drunken party.

Arabella

Controversial opinion ahead – I don’t think Arabella is Alexa, Arielle, Miles or Uncle Tom Cobley and all

Arabella is Alex

Okay I am going to go deep here and people probably won’t agree but what the hell. Alex has a lot of feminine energy I think that is commonly agreed. He doesn’t get called slut for nothing. I think Arabella is the woman he would like to be, she is a woman who is highly desired by men (hello Alex flirting with numerous attractive men on various occasions), I would even go one further and say quite possibly she is the woman he wishes he could be, because at this time Miles was still screwed up about his sexuality and indeed if Alex was ‘Arabella’ he could be with ‘her’ without feeling guilty.

I Want It All

‘Ain't it just like you to kiss me and then hit the road

Leave me listening to The Stones

2000 Light Years From Home’

Here we go again (and also Miles has referenced the Stones in several interviews)

‘Blind faith

Heartache

Mind games

Mistakes

My sweet fireball

My sweet rigmarole

I want it all’

This reminds me a bit of the theme of The Wonder. Basically you’re a pain in the arse but I still want you.

No1 Party Anthem

This is a song about loneliness and the meaningless world our hero inhabits in LA (see also I Ain’t Quite Where I Think I AM) 

‘She calls the folks who run this her oldest friends’ (makes me think of some vacuous fame whore – I’m sure Alex has known lots of these)

‘She's a certified mind blower knowing full well that I don't

I may suggest there's somewhere from which I might know her’ 

I find this lyric really interesting. He is saying he doesn’t know this girl is a mind-blower (why, because he isn’t that familiar with women?) but he is trying to get off with her anyway because he is drunk and lonely. 

Mad Sounds

Is basically just Alex wanting to sound like Lou Reed (joke).  It’s just a cute little tune about how music can take you back to a happy place when you’re at your lowest.

Fireside

Interestingly I read the other day that this is the only song on the record Alex wrote in London not LA, so we’re presuming his ‘fuse’ was somewhere else (LA?). We can never ignore the words ‘fuse’ and ‘fire’ (Little Flames). What is also interesting is when AM played this on The Car Tour, Alex changed the lyrics.

The original goes

‘When you're ‘losing’ and your fuse is fireside’

But on the tour on every occasion, he sung;

‘When you’re ‘moving’ and your fuse is fireside’

Which I think is kind of cute, because presuming now all is well on Planet Milex. He is indeed ‘moving’ while he is on tour. Not losing like in the original one.

Why Do You Only Call Me When You’re High

I think this is quite possibly to a casual hook up…

It sort of feels like I'm running out of time

I haven't found what I was hoping to find

This sort of points to someone who can’t have who they want so they are settling for second best..someone he only bothers with when he’s off his head.

Snap Out of It

I think this song possibly relates to my theory of Miles and his issues with his sexuality. Especially the lines;

Forever isn't for everyone

Is forever for you?

It sounds like settling down or giving up

But it don't sound much like you girl (we all know Miles uses female pronouns obvs)

Knee Socks

I have covered Knee Socks 1,882,882 times! Mean Streets, Vespas, Be My Baby, the fact that Alex was always wearing that bloody sky blue Lacoste around the time of writing TAOTU in his house with Miles. Don’t forget Miles is also a footie fan and likes to play and indeed footballers wear knee socks. And obviously the ultimate ‘when the zeros line up on the twenty four hour clock’ 00:00 Midnight. Mr Fucking Midnight!!

I Wanna Be Yours

Now, to me, like A Certain Romance summarises WPSIAMTWIM, then I Wanna Be Yours summarises the whole of this album. The record starts with Alex asking Miles how he feels about him, and we go through a whole journey of Alex’s loneliness and confusion in his seemingly unrequieted love, casual hook-ups to fill the voids, and worries about his own sexuality. But at the end of the day, all he wants is to be Miles’. All the things he wants to be are things that serve – a vacuum cleaner, a car, a coffee pot, an electricity meter, setting lotion in the original JCC version there is mention of teddy bears and dreamboats. Alex just wants to serve the person he idolises. 

Part Two coming soon

How TBHC is about how Alex blames fame and the modern world for the mess his life is in and how The Car is about a him reflecting on his life so far…

[crucifiedfaerie]

hi!! just wanted to say thank for your service on behalf of the star wars community🫡 your writing is so good! i saw your requests were open and honestly anymore modern/delinquent!kylo content of any kind would be appreciated lol <3 anyways hope you’re having a good day :)

omgggg hi thank you sm <3 lucky for you i am currently working on a part two for nicotine stains !!! im shooting for it to be out by thursday at the latest but knowing me if i have an idea i cant stop until its done so it will most likely be earlier lmao. if you wanna be added to the taglist you can pm me or send another ask that isn't anonymous and i won't post it!

however as a little treat while you wait here are a few more modern/delinquent!kylo hcs my beloved @enviedear and i have come up with:

delinquent!kylo who is constantly taking cute pictures of you. literally doesn't matter what you're doing he just likes looking at you. he keeps a polaroid of you on his dashboard too. he also keeps pictures/love notes/ticket stubs from your dates in the sunglasses compartment and one time you opened it and they all fell out and he was rlly embarrassed about it.

"you weren't supposed to see that."

delinquent!kylo who when you get into fights he cries in his charger to nothing else matters by metallica, i was all over her by salvia palth, my body is a cage by arcade fire, and vindicated by dashboard confessional. he shows up at your window at 3am to apologize. his apologies are always terrible and he never actually says the word sorry, but he means what he says... he's just bad with getting the right words out.

delinquent!kylo whose favorite place to be is his 1969 charger with you in the passenger seat, driving around aimlessly with his hand on your thigh. he likes to play road trippin' by red hot chili peppers because it reminds him of you. he'll softly sing along to the lyrics while stealing glances at you at stoplights.

"'blue you sit so pretty west of the one

sparkes light with yellow icing,

just a mirror for the sun

these smiling eyes are just a mirror for.'"

delinquent!kylo thats childhood best friends with your brother so you all grew up together. your mother has pictures of an 8 yr old kylo helping 5 yr old you reach the kitchen sink and pictures of 12 year old kylo and finn making christmas cookies together. he's had a crush on you since he could remember and he made you a valentines day card when he was in 5th grade but got too nervous to give it to you. he kept it just in case though. he's a devotional lover even if the person he loves isn't aware of it.

delinquent!kylo who looks for you in every girl he dates before the two of you finally got together. one time your parents were out of town so finn threw a basement party. kylo brought his new girl-of-the-week but as she talks to him, he isn't listening. he's watching you across the room dancing with some random guy, wishing that was him.

delinquent!kylo who, when at a different house party, sees you way too drunk and guys getting too handsy so he gets you the hell out of there as fast as possible. he knows you're too drunk to take home to your parents so he takes you to his house. he lets you sleep in his bed and he sleeps on the couch. he doesn't care that he's showing genuine care for you and that you'll pick up on that in the morning. he only cares that you're safe.

delinquent!kylo <3

[demonio-fleurs]

the headcanon ask game!

for both sabo and koala:

🏳️‍🌈🧸🎶💝❤️‍🔥😶

Send in a character or characters and an icon and I’ll give you...

i am so sorry this took so long btw, a mixture of me being busy and also having to come up with these on the spot made it take longer than i wanted it to!

these also range from "simple and straight forward" to "mini fics/drabbles" haha, sorry for the inconsistency

🏳️‍🌈 A sexuality headcanon

they're both bisexual, although koala is (in my opinion) far more likely to be vocal about it than sabo, who is too busy with work to think about relationships.

koala realized she was bisexual when she met betty for the first time, and no i will not elaborate further. meanwhile sabo has just always kinda known that gender doesn't matter for him.

(more under the cut!)

🧸 A headcanon about their childhood

one day, while traveling the seas with the sun pirates, their ship was attacked by slavers looking for a profit. they were arrogant, and believed they could easily take out the group of fishmen on the ship.

koala doesn't remember much about that night, except for how frightened she was, as the ship had been caught up in a cyclone right before being attacked.

but she does remember huddling in a corner of the ship, wide eyes staring as a man came rushing towards her. she remembers jinbei, stepping out of nowhere and using Samehada Shotei against the slaver, and how the sheer force of it was enough to cause the man to be tossed across the room, knocking him out. jinbei then turned to her, and had her crawl onto his back for safety until they could ensure there was no one left on the ship.

that memory stayed burned into her for the rest of her life, and the day that hack told her that she'd finally perfected the Samehada Shotei technique was one of the happiest moments of her life.

for the longest time, sabo's childhood was not defined by memories, but rather feelings and vague nightmares. he remembered there being a great, terrible fire, and the fear he felt when he saw it. he remembered the feeling of a bird, trapped in it's cage and wanting so desperately to fly free. so many dark emotions, so many nights waking up in a cold sweat, gripping onto his sheets.

but sometimes, there were positive thoughts and dreams from his childhood. a song played in a bar on a mission might bring back the memory of tall, towering trees amidst a humid jungle. koala clinging to him in the middle of a hot night brought back the feeling of creaky wooden boards beneath him, and the starry night sky above him.

it wouldn't be until after ace's death that he gained the context necessary to understand those lingering childhood memories, but context didn't make his heart feel any less heavy in his chest.

🎶 A headcanon about music

one day while laying low in a bar and trying to plan out their next steps on an important mission assigned to them by dragon, koala began singing along to an old song that was being played on a dingy old piano in the corner. to her surprise, sabo began humming along with it, despite it being a song that was usually only known by pirates.

after their mission, she sat down with him and sang the lyrics in the hopes of triggering some memories from his past, but the only thing that came to mind for sabo was a warm summer night in a jungle.

later on, he'd put together that he must have heard the song from luffy, who taught both him and ace the lyrics to "prepare them" for their life as a pirate.

💝 A headcanon about their love language

sabo is a very "physical touch" person, when they are alone he is constantly either in their lap, or clinging onto them, almost as if when he lets go of them, they'll disappear forever.

koala, on the other hand, is more of a "quality time" type of person. to her, so long as she is near the person she loves, that is quality time, even if they aren't doing the same thing. this doesn't mean that she isn't physically affectionate, in fact she can be quite clingy when she's worried or upset, but that isn't her primary love language.

❤️‍🔥 A romantic headcanon

oh gosh, haha, i'm honestly one of the worst people for romance but here we go

one of sabo's favorite things to do when coming home from a mission is to put his head in koala's lap and fall asleep. almost every outside observer wonders when koala will get fed up with him and kick him out of her lap, especially since she'll complain about it to anyone who will listen, but hack knows that koala secretly loves it. when she thinks no one is looking she'll often run her fingers through his golden locks, and simply enjoy the downtime with him.

😶 A random headcanon!

sabo has fangs like a dragon 3:

koala has an incredibly high spice tolerance, but primarily bc she enjoys food that has strong flavors.

[silawastaken]

I'm SO sorry and I feel like such a loser for it sometimes but I really do just want to talk about the technical stuff behind the things I write sometimes. Both fanfic wise, poetry wise, and more recently music wise, but I always want to talk about the attention to detail, the foreshadowing, the way things change in the process of writing, the original concept vs the final product.

I really really hate it but my brain really is wired for literature, and there's nothing that can have me talking for as long as asking about the detail behind my fics. The only one you can really ask about without it becoming a nit-pick of all the flaws (which is never attention or compliment seeking, I genuinely don't like most of what I write or make) or talk about foreshadowing aspects without major spoilers is the (not so) perfect pair as it's complete and well thought out (in my opinion).

The music I'm working on currently, when the lyrics are written out they read as a love letter, which is intentional!!! but also you could ask about the specific ties that each lyric has– for example in 'Prophecies of the Morning Sun' the lyric "a single witness as heaven comes down" the implication is that (as the song is written as if from my perspective) my lover is heaven, and I (or, whoever was listening to the song) was the only witness to their arrival, or the only person to see them as they are.

And then, in the final verse "facing you to see heaven in your eyes" is supposed to tie back to the idea that in my (or, again, whoever was listening's) eyes, my lover is heaven to me. IT'S ALL INTENTIONAL (or maybe not, but it all connects in the end regardless).

Anyway I'm sorry, slight word dump over, I just really wish I had more opportunities to properly talk over what I do. I would love to write a long ass essay dissecting the (not so) perfect pair bit by bit but also. There is no audience for that lmao.

As the gold bleeds into grey is where I'm going insane over this specifically, as there is always some detail which I am trying to point out without having to explicitly state it, but I feel the need to make sure people know what I'm doing. Especially with the most recent chapter (chapter ten – spoilers) where Chuuya is leading Dazai through Yokohama while it's busy, and he doesn't want to show his concern that Dazai was still following by looking back to check on him, but he does so anyway because he loves him.

This is a reference to Orpheus and Eurydice, which is why the chapter is titled 'Orpheus and denial', because in this Chuuya is supposed to represent Orpheus, but he also refuses to admit he still loves Dazai (whether to himself or to Dazai is up for interpretation– he's complex enough that even I don't know) and it was driving me insane that I couldn't explicitly state 'Hey! This is a reference!' because that's not what I want to do!!!! Ugh. Sorry. Soooo not worth this but I am constantly thinking about it lmao.

I'm always adding little details like that, I'm always referencing canon and making decisions about certain numbers to use for things (such as their room being number 15 on floor 3. They met at 15 in canon, and knew each other for three years before the split at eighteen. There's also another reason for it involving 15 and 3 years which would be Spoiling It but there's another reason behind that choice too).

If you ask me, I can tell you what characters who are never even mentioned in the main story of tnspp were doing at different points in the story. My au's are SOOOO carefully thought out most of the time.

Anyway. Yap actually over this time. Sorry I should really talk less lmao

[noona96n]

Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

no worries, im happy to answer. and, if i happened to already answer sth, I'll link u to it.

so, fav medias... hmm...

book(s): the radiant emperor duology

ik it just came out and was only recently finished (like, finished Sept 2023 lol) so this is probably bias speaking but i am extremely taken by She Who Became the Sun and He Who Drowned the World, these books are fckn phenomenal. the gender-fuckery, the exploration of gender and sexual performances, the hidden message of embracing ourselves in all our ugliness and 'deficiency' and making a place for ourselves and ppl like us when others shun us. these books are just!!!

documentaries: immortal egypt (Joanne Fletcher)

i really really love documentaries and this mini series hold a special place in my heart bcs i love history and I've always been fascinated by egypt and Joanne's enthusiasm is just so joyous and infectious, i love it. i put this on repeat in the background when i was doing my graduation project in 2018 lol yea, just me listening to egyptian docu while working my ass off on AutoCAD lol

anime: sarusuberi/miss hokusai

idk how to explain but there's just a quality to this animated film that got me going... like, i adore howl's moving castle but miss hokusai is sth else. it's so peaceful but also deeply profound and visceral somehow.

tv series: aircrash investigation

i love planes, i love the Concorde in particular, but it has nth to do with how cool planes are but with how child-me saw riding planes as a thing that only ppl with money could do. it evolved from there.

i also love mysteries and aircrash investigation is both lol

i remember watching it on tv when i was an adolescent and i was fascinated with the mystery and problem-solving of it all ever since.

movie: the prince of egypt

it's a story about love; love that forgives, love that creates hate, love that divides.

drama: nirvana in fire (c-drama), beyond evil (k-drama), kluen cheewit (thai soap opera)

bl-specific: old fashion cupcake (anime AND manga)

the plot of these dramas is impeccable (tho kluen cheewit is extremely dramatic so pls beware lol), the character developments are fckn amazing, and what's even more important is the platonic relationships between the characters!!!

also, special shout-out to thai bl soap opera khun chai/to sir (with love) as well! the drama is off the charts, the characters are flawed & human & infinitely relatable & Tian & Yang's brotherhood is EVERYTHING

just one of the best bls out there and I've consumed A LOT of BLs/yaois... ALL SORT of em lol

the story is really grounded in reality, the plot is so mundane and relatable, the characters are mature but extremely flawed, and the art (in the case of manga) and the acting (in the case of the series) are amazing.

song: queen bee by vannda (contemporary music from my country)

i DO NOT agree with the lyrics AT ALL but i adore the melody. i absolutely love, love, LOVE how he blends traditional khmer music with the modern one. it's not a necessarily modern take but it's sth different. this artist is very good at blending the old w/ the new and i applaud him for that. his music is so pleasing the ear but the fkcn lyrics... urGH

well, a song of his with message that i completely agree with is time to rise with master Kong Nay... though the mixture is too in my face lol which is why i prefer queen bee