#ALL THE CHARACTERS KNOW WHAT TO DO IS PISS ME OFF

[erinwantstowrite]

i think im not a fan of what dc keeps doing with jason because they keep having him, the abused, become an abuser in some way shape or form. and the classism they don't want to talk about (i am being so for real there is a genuine problem of both writers and readers who do not understand jason's background and it pissed me off so bad because it always shapes their opinion of him in the wrong way and they don't care to even try to listen). and how if they were going to have him come back they should have had delved into his identity crisis and the inherent horror of coming back but not knowing how or why or what to do about it and not knowing what you were doing while dead and having to deal with time jumping forward on you and the fact that you will never get the time back and no one will he the same as they were before you died and how isolating and lonely that would be. and they also definitely weren't prepared for the fact that jason was grieving his life and his death and his hopes for his mother and his dad who didn't get there in time and the dc writers are fucking cowards. which brings me to my next point: why do we keep listening to them about shit because they are quite literally always fighting with each other and projecting their own personal biases into characters (i.e. making them worse than they are/2 dimensional/trying to make them iredeemable so their favorite character gets to shine) and also they are all freaks of nature with a consistent problem of being God Awful People who why would we trust them with these characters. jason todd they don't get you like i do

[girlwithadragonheart]

I need to yap desperately about one single gripe I have with this game. MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD read at your own discretion

The first half is me ranting about how much certain things mean to me and how impacted I was, and the actual gripe comes closer to the end.

I'll preface this by saying this post is about Varric's death and my rage and despair regarding it, but more so about my Rook's.

I've seen people who said they picked up on the hints about whatnot, who knew before the Fade Prison. I was not one of those people. I was so relieved when I saw him after the Prologue that I didn't think twice, because I knew that it would destroy me the second shit started going wrong.

I was already not having a good time when I started the game simply because Varric was getting older. I don't handle aging well or death, and his design showing his age, and the comments he would make about "getting too old for this" just made my heart break.

And then shit got worse. I sobbed disgustingly when that knife went into Varric's chest.

After Rook woke up from talking to Solas and she heard Varric, I was so gods damned relieved. And my Rook was better taken care of by Varric in that year she spent with him than she was in the rest of her entire life.

I cried from the end of Ghilan'nain's fight until the romance scene and on and off after that. I got so used to visiting Varric just to be comforted by his presence. Inquisition was the biggest part of my life for a year and a half when I was just a kid.

I did really bad middle school age writing for it but regardless of the quality, those characters were built up in my head becoming even more than they were in the game. Varric was my biggest support character through everything I was going through at the time.

I don't talk about it much, but I didn't have a great childhood, and I know a lot of people didn't, but I coped with it through writing and video games. Varric was the one supporting me through the abuse I suffered and writing was the way I processed how bad things really were.

When Rook was in the prison she said "What am I going to find here?" And Varric said "I think you already know, kid." I DIDN'T until he said that. The second he said that my entire chest tightened and I just said "No" out loud as I watched Rook find his body.

Now for my real complaint!!!

Rook never gets the chance to grieve Varric. They go from talking to him every day to finding out he's dead and it was all a lie. I have personally never been more fucking pissed at Solas than I am now. But Rook comes back and they have that kind of "closing off" scene with Varric's empty bed (which was so hard to go through btw). And then they fuck their pookie LIKE I CANNOT BE THE ONLY ONE UPSET ABT THAT

FYM I gotta find out my dad is dead and then Rook is up for boning like there's no fucking way unless it's to cope. And at least pertaining to the Lucanis romance, Rook is processing everything that happened and they can say "So much has happened, I just don't know how to feel."

And rather than getting to process that in some kind of way, the devs said nah this scene serves one singular purpose, and Lucanis says "I do" and then dicks them down.

Personally, I felt very dismissed despite being overjoyed about finally having the romance scene, I couldn't even enjoy it with everything that happened prior.

Rook deserved the chance to completely break down after everything they went through. Tbh i don't know how they kept it together. Varric said "don't get all misty eyed" and i thought to myself that's way too delicate a term for what's happening here, I was fully ugly crying.

Fuck your "I had a good run" I still need you bitch.

All this to say I'm very upset, and I'm running my second playthrough and every time I look at, hear, or talk to Varric I tear up again. Wtf Bioware.

Rook should've gotten the chance to actually talk about what Solas did to them, especially in the sense that he made them believe Varric was still there. Or at least get to properly grieve the person who was their closest friend for a long time.

I have very strong feelings about this obviously

[tossawary]

I'm reviewing episode transcripts from "Merlin" to build up my worldbuilding document (character list, mostly) and, a little ways into S2, I'm kind of feeling like the show is actually quite mean to Arthur as a character sometimes? S1 E14: "To Kill the King" is one of those episodes where I forget how badly it pissed me off until I run into it again.

Like, don't get me wrong, Arthur can be a bully, entitled, hotheaded, and reckless, but he's also at this point risked his own life to save people multiple times. Both individuals whose lives were "worth less" than his own (getting the Mortaeus flower for a poisoned Merlin, smuggling Mordred out of the city, protecting Ealdor from bandits) and also Camelot as a whole (fighting the plague-causing monster in the sewers, fighting the mam-eating griffin, drinking poison to lift the unicorn curse).

Arthur is giving me vibes of being both bored and frustrated (and probably not able to name those feelings or exactly why he has them) because he wants so badly to do good things, but he's not really sure how to go about it because (no one ever tells him anything, he almost NEVER knows what's really going on to make informed choices, and) he's also stuck under the thumb of his tyrannical father, who spends most of their scenes together berating Arthur for being too merciful, for not being dutiful enough, and/or not finding sorcerers for execution fast enough. When Arthur tries to be fair-minded and compassionate, Uther often essentially tells him that he's going to be a weak king with that attitude.

Arthur's pathways to betterment are limited, his parent and role model and boss here is an AWFUL person, but he's trying!

So, it's quite frustrating to get to this one episode where characters like Gaius (extremely biased, admittedly, clearly not an objective individual) are saying things like: "Arthur's not ready. The responsibility would be too great. Brave though he may be, he lacks experience, he lacks judgement."

Like, I don't know, Arthur may be only 21 and kind of a dipshit, but I personally think he'd still do a better job than the guy who tried to kill a kid (Mordred) just for existing a few episodes ago? Maybe? Gwen's father, who wasn't even a sorcerer or knowingly working with one, is dead explicitly because of Uther's awful laws. Did everyone in this episode forget that Uther tried to BURN GWEN ALIVE AT THE STAKE not that long ago (Episode 3)?

ARTHUR: "[Morgana]'s right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen."

UTHER: "You saw it for yourself. She used enchantments."

ARTHUR: "Yes, maybe. But to save her dying father, that doesn't make [Gwen] guilty of creating a plague. One's the act of, of kindness, of love, the other of evil. I don't believe evil's in this girl's heart."

UTHER: "I have witnessed what witchcraft can do. I have suffered at its hand. I cannot take that chance. If there is the slightest doubt about this girl, she must die or the whole kingdom may perish."

ARTHUR: "I understand that."

UTHER: "One day you may become King. Then you will understand. Such decisions must be made. There are dark forces that threaten this kingdom."

ARTHUR: "I know. Witchcraft is an evil, father. So is injustice. Yes, I am yet to be King, and I don't know what kind of king I will be, but I do have a sense of the kind of Camelot I would wish to live in. It would be where the punishment fits the crime."

UTHER: "I fear you're right. She's played with fire, and sadly she must die by fire."

When the adult druid (Cerdan) accompanying Mordred is killed (Episode 8), Arthur objects afterwards! On his own! While Arthur is sometimes an active participant in Uther's tyranny and otherwise complicit, he's been told all of his life that magic is inherently evil and corrupting, he was raised by the very man spreading this hateful philosophy, he should probably hate magic more than anyone after Uther, and yet he still disagrees with Uther's methods and judgments. Even though Uther is apparently VERY willing to lock both his son (Episode 4) and his ward (Episode 8) in the dungeons for disagreeing with him and disobeying him!

ARTHUR: The Druid was only in Camelot to collect supplies. He meant no harm. Is it necessary to execute him?

UTHER: Absolutely necessary. Those who use magic cannot be tolerated.

ARTHUR: The Druids are a peaceful people.

UTHER: Given the chance, they would return magic to the kingdom. They preach peace, but conspire against me. We cannot appear weak.

ARTHUR: Showing mercy can be a sign of strength.

UTHER: Our enemies will not see it that way. We have a responsibility to protect this kingdom. Executing the Druid will send out a clear message. Find the boy. Search every inch of the city.

Obviously, running a kingdom is complicated! Uther apparently won Camelot by conquest and is in conflict with many of the neighboring kings, including Odin and Cenred, and likely has more of the respect of the local nobility than young Arthur does. Uther's death would create some instability! (Agravaine de Bois hasn't been created yet, but let's assume there are many other potential vultures.)

But the show generally isn't pushing that angle. This isn't really about smooth transitions of power. Personally, concerning Arthur's "lack of judgment", I do find his ready conviction that it is his duty to die for Camelot's honor if necessary (he says as much to Merlin explicitly before fighting Valiant in Episode 2, then again before fighting the Black Knight in Episode 9) more than a little concerning, but that doesn't seem to be angle pushed here either.

The show has characters (Merlin, Gwen, Gaius) suggesting that offing the King, who regularly kills innocent people whether they have magic or not, who has forbidden use of the tool that might have saved innocent people from Nimueh's plague or the wraith of Tristan de Bois, would be wrong! It would be murder and murder is bad! It would make (in the words of a grieving Gwen) her "just as bad" as him.

Even though Merlin has at this point already killed Aulfric and Sophia (Episode 7), as well as Mary Collins (Episode 1) because they were trying to kill Arthur. And arguably got an assist with Valiant (Episode 2). And will kill many more as the show goes on. This conversation with Kilgharrah in S1 E14 is in many ways so, so funny:

KILGHARRAH: Well, young warlock, what is it you come to ask of me?

MERLIN: I need your help.

KILGHARRAH: Of course you do, but this time, will you heed my words?

MERLIN: The sorcerer Tauren is plotting to kill the King. He's made an ally of Morgana. I don't know what to do!

KILGHARRAH: Do… nothing.

MERLIN: What do you mean? If I do nothing, Uther will die.

KILGHARRAH: Don't you want Uther dead? It is Uther that persecutes you and your kind, Merlin. It is Uther that murders the innocent…

MERLIN: But surely that doesn't make it right to kill him.

KILGHARRAH: Only if Uther dies can magic return to the land. Only if Uther dies will you be free, Merlin. Uther's reign is at an end. Let Arthur's reign begin. Fulfil your destiny!

[The dragon flies off.]

MERLIN: Wait! Where does it say my destiny includes murder?

KILGHARRAH: Free this land from tyranny, Merlin! Free us all!

I feel for Kilgharrah here. He was VERY straightforward. I don't know how he could have been clearer about this.

I won't say that Merlin's character writing doesn't make ANY sense here (I do think the character writing in this show is NOT amazingly consistent), because... he IS being influenced by Gaius, who is, unfortunately, a bootlicker and also probably extremely traumatized by all of the death he's seen (big contributor of the bootlicking) (also, apparently Gaius only becomes a "freeman" at the end of Episode 6, so there's that). And Merlin is also being heavily influenced by Arthur, who loves his father, despite everything. For Arthur's sake, if no one else's, Merlin will go out of his way to save Uther. Sure! That tracks!

Merlin spends a lot of time in this show protecting a terrible status quo under some assumption that Camelot will... somehow suddenly become better under Arthur? Instead of perhaps eventually just trusting Arthur and talking to him after their years of knowing each other? There are several, in-world reasons for this and I don't think they're all unrealistic! It's tense! It's thrilling sometimes!

(Though I am ultimately a little annoyed that Merlin's many secrets never really come out and get dealt with by the characters, because that would have been fun drama and some resolution to all the tension, even if the story did still end in death.)

There's some tasty tragedy in this silly show, in many ways. Merlin is confused and conflicted and scared and without clear guidance in many ways. Kilgharrah is mysterious and not at all reassuring. Gaius is complacent and (very reasonably) incredibly secretive. Merlin doesn't get to see many of the moments where Arthur speaks up for magical people and tries to talk Uther down. Morgana and Arthur are both stuck here in a "The hands that cradled you are covered in an unimaginable amount of blood." "But they cradled me, yes?" nightmare scenario. (There's also a sexist element where male characters like Gaius and Merlin won't let Morgana know about her own powers "for her own good" in a gaslight-y way that's fascinating to me in how it creates a villain.)

But, also, the compelling tragic elements here don't make certain episodes any less frustrating to watch in their execution. (I don't think villains being frustrating to watch or read necessarily makes them effective villains, especially when what I really find annoying here is the heroes' reactions to the villain. Uther has killed SO MANY PEOPLE! FOR NO REASON!) Especially when a lot of the overall results of this show often feel more accidental than purposeful. I do understand why the writers keep Uther around! He's a formidable antagonist to have looming all over the place and the actor is fun.

But OOF, I felt that "Do... Nothing".

Merlin! MERLIN! LISTEN TO THE SCARY DRAGON! MERLIN, REMEMBER THAT TIME UTHER TRIED TO BURN GWEN ALIVE??? JUST BECAUSE GWEN IS TOO NICE TO GO AFTER UTHER WITH A KNIFE AND TAKE REVENGE, IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY MEAN KILLING HIM MAKES YOU "JUST AS BAD"!!! MERLIN!!! YOU HAVE ALREADY MURDERED MULTIPLE PEOPLE WHO KILLED WAY LESS PEOPLE THAN UTHER!!!

In Episode 4, Morgana says to Uther: "You can't chain [Arthur] up every time he disagrees with you." This implies to me that Uther has had Arthur thrown in the dungeons before. In Episode 3, Arthur says to Morgana: "Father will slam us both in chains if he knew I'd endangered you," and maybe he wasn't at all joking with that? Arthur is rattling the bars of his cell here, apparently fairly ready to be aimed wherever Merlin points him, bucking against being aimed at innocents by his tyrant of a father.

But nooo, Gaius says Arthur is "not ready yet" because...??? He seems less hotheaded than Uther to me, honestly. Are his tax policies not up to par yet? You can hire a guy for that. Suggesting that Arthur would be in any way worse than His Majesty "Anyone Who Talks To A Sorcerer Gets Executed Even If They Didn't Know They Were A Sorcerer" feels quite mean to Arthur, really. I think he'd do alright, in comparison, Gaius who lies to the King every single day, but I suppose you sometimes want to be a loyal friend to good ol' King "Made Merlin Drink Poison That One Time And Wouldn't Let Anyone Go Get The Cure". Good for you. Bad for everyone else.

Like, I know, I know this show is not very deep. I like that all of the characters are flawed and fumble a lot! I even kind of enjoy that it ultimately ends in death with so many loose emotional threads. It is a weekly burst of fantasy nonsense that is not especially concerned with consistency in worldbuilding or characters from episode to episode. But the executive discrepancies here are, like the ones in "Star Wars", weirdly fascinating with all of the holes and wobbly bits it creates.

This show: "Yes, our hero has once again saved the tyrannical king who kills innocents! Preventing the oblivious prince from assuming the throne and trying to do better as he so clearly wants to do! Good work, Merlin, taking the high road (which involved murdering the rightfully angry people trying to kill the tyrannical king) again!"

Me, every time: "...I am genuinely not sure how the show wants us to interpret this. What did they think they were doing with this? Was this always meant to be a tragedy from the first season? Because personally, I'm getting some kind of tragedy from this."

[storiesfromafan]

Or Something - Mattheo x Reader

A/N: I want to say a MASSIVE thank you to everyone that follows me. On Tuesday (my time) I woke to find out I hit 600 followers!! 🫢

I know majority are those that follow me for my Mattheo works, and a lot of new followers are for Austin Butlers character works I've been writing. I am still thankful for all of you!!!

I also want to thank those that I recognise reblogging, hearting and commenting 💜💜💜 I see you and it always makes me smile to see you, and all of you too!!

So, to celebrate I wrote a Mattheo x Reader for the occasion 😁😁😁

Warning: briefest drug mention, fluff

Prompt: “So, are you seeing them or something?”

Mattheo didn’t like how guys looked at you. He didn’t like how they talked to you. Hell, in general, he hated them. Why do you ask? Because they weren’t your best friend, and secretly in love with you. That was him, his life.

Watching guy after guy talk to you, flirt with you, shoot their shot. All the while he hoped one day you would see how he saw you, wanting him like he wants you. Always and forever. But till then Mattheo had to endure this endless nightmare.

“Mate, you should just tell her!” Groaned Theodore passing his friend a joint. “No doubt she fells the same”.

Taking the joint, Mattheo sighed. “How can you be so sure!? I can’t risk ruining my friendship with her!”

Lorenzo looked to the two and said, “I get where Mattheo's coming from. What if she doesn’t exactly feel the same way? Things will be different in our group, and it would be awkward for all parties".

The three were sitting by a large tree, far from the Castle on this fine afternoon. Both boys had seen how worked up Mattheo had been after another guy decided to talk to you. Rather then Mattheo getting detention for beating up or cursing the guy, both Theodore and Lorenzo dragged him away. Once at the tree Mattheo opened up and told them everything, and in depth. How it pissed him off, how he felt for you and how he was a hop, skip and a jump from murdering so many male students.

“Yeah, alright" retorted Theodore. “But what if she did feel the same way? And by not speaking up is just hindering your happiness together?”

Lorenzo leant around Mattheo to give the guy a surprised look. “I am shocked you know how to use hindering, and are the voice of reason for once”.

Theodore rolled his eyes while flipping off the chuckling boy. Mattheo remained quiet, smoking the joint and hoping it will calm him, and his frazzled nerves. They both made good points. And were like an angel and devil on his shoulders. He just needed a scrap of conformation that you felt the same as him, and he would put himself out there.

“I can’t tell her without knowing how she feels, even just a tiny bit" Mattheo sighed, passing the joint to Lorenzo.

Both boys looked to their friend before both saying, “then we’ll find out!”

Mattheo didn’t know if he should be relieved or scared. For those two finding out information can go either way, such as they could do the job right or fail and blab. He truly hoped it was the former. Because the idea of you learning about his feelings, from them and not him, terrified and annoyed him.

The following day, during morning break, you were sitting in the courtyard in the suns warm rays. You were helping Pansy with some last minute Potions homework, not wanting her to be subject to Snape’s wrath. Mattheo, Theodore, Lorenzo and Draco were near by, sitting around talking shit. Which was annoying Pansy. Who eventually told them all to shut it.

Theodore stuck his tongue out at Pansy, while Mattheo and Lorenzo laughed. Draco didn’t do or say anything. With a huff from the girl next to you, you smiled returning to the book and parchment before you. Yet, you found yourself sneaking glances at Mattheo. Admiring his boyish smile and laugh, as he pushed Theodore for something he had said. Noticing how the humour reached his chocolate brown eyes, happy to see him having fun.

“(Y/N/N)!” Pansy whined, “I need your help!”

Focusing back on your friend and the task at hand, you had to put staring at Mattheo on the back burner. There would be plenty of time to admire him. To day dream of being more with your best friend. And yet, it was just that, a day dream. You doubted he saw you any more than a friend. He might care, but not enough to be more then what you both were right now.

With some frustration you finally managed to get some of the homework through Pansy's thick head. The pair of you packed up your parchments and books, relived to be done. And with time to spare before your next class, which was potions. You both stood, stretching while your friends remained where they were. Of course Mattheo was watching you, always watching you. Just not when you’re watching him.

“(Y/N)!” Called a Hufflepuff guy from your year, his tone warm and giddy.

You turned in the direction – as did Mattheo – and you smiled seeing Andrew. You waved to him, then said something to Pansy before walking over to him with your bag over your shoulder. Mattheo watched how you bounced over to Andrew, and how you both smiled, laughed and talked.

Lorenzo and Theodore noticed it was only them that were talking, upon looking to Mattheo they noticed his gaze. And following it they saw why their mate sat quietly, eyes a blaze with jealousy. All three sets of eyes watched the interaction between you and the Hufflepuff. And to really get on Mattheo's goat, was the fact Andrew was on his houses Quiddich team. And their last match against each other had not gone well. Andrew got a lucky shot on him, and Mattheo was knocked from his broom.

So, his hatred for the guy was next level. First the Quiddich match, and now talking to his girl. And you were happily chatting away with him. Were you into the twat? Were you dating him? All the possibilities just added fuel to Mattheo's hate and jealousy.

Getting to his feet, and ignoring his mates, Mattheo moved towards you and Andrew. Only the Hufflepuff was lucky to have left before his arrival. Andrew was laughing with his mates as they headed back to the Castle. You smiled, only to jump when turning to find Mattheo beside you.

“Oh my God, Matty!” You exclaimed in surprise, before playfully hitting his arm. “Don’t sneak up on me!”

His gaze – which had still been following Andrew – turn back to you, heated and not happy. It was jealousy, but you didn’t pick up on it. “So, are you seeing them or something?” Came his annoyed question.

You blinked, confused by Mattheo's words. “Huh?” you paused, before registering his question. “Oh! No! Oh my gosh, no!”

He didn’t buy your words. “Really? Seems like it, or something’s going on...”

“No Matty, really there’s nothing going on!” You said in a rush. Flabbergasted that he’d think you and Andrew were a thing.

Sure, the guy was nice. Kinda funny. But he was also full of himself and cocky, in an annoying way. Unlike Mattheo, who’s cockiness was charming, if that even made sense. Your best friends full of himself and cocky nature was fine to you, not bothering you. But Andrew, it felt forced. Like he was over doing it. It did nothing for you. Unlike when it was Mattheo, it checked all your boxes.

Your best friend show you a slightly dark look, which hurt you. “Honestly, I don’t care who you spend your time with. Date whoever you want!” He spat.

You were surprised, and saddened by his words. “Matty...” you said softly, voice cracking a little. “I’m not dating him, or am interested in Andrew...or any one. Well, except for one guy, but...forget it".

The way you spoke, the tone and the look on your face broke Mattheo. His face dropping into a guilty look. Before he could say anything – mostly apologise and beg for forgiveness – you took off for the Castle. And he swears he saw a tear or two. Pansy knocked into him as she rushed after you, looking back to shoot Mattheo a death glare.

Running a hand through his brown locks, he sighed in annoyance with himself. How could he do that, let his jealousy and anger get the best of him? And upsetting you. He wanted to kick his own ass at this point. His mates came up and offered a sympathetic look, before they too headed to the Castle. Mattheo straggling behind, dragging his feet.

The previous day you had avoided Mattheo. Choosing to keep your distance. It was safer then dealing with his mood. You didn’t get why he said what he said, and looked at you the way he did. Why did he care so much about if you were dating Andrew? Honestly, it’s none of his business whom you date.

Shaking your head you went back to the large book before you. You’d taken to hiding in the library this evening. Thinking that studying would be a smart way to distract yourself. Unfortunately, it didn’t offer much of a distraction. For your mind wondered to Mattheo, or Theodore and Lorenzo. It had been almost a whole day of avoiding them all. And you were getting bored, missing them all.

You wish you could say you knew this chapter on poisons, but even reading over it numerous times, the information never sticking. Brown curly locks and warm chocolate eyes plagued your mind. He always had. These feelings you had for Mattheo never went away, even when you tried your best to push them to the back of your mind.

With a sigh you closed the book. It was pointless. Getting up from your seat in the back corner of the library, you grabbed the book and moved to the rows of shelves to put it back. It was getting late also, which mean it would be time to head back to your house. Reaching a quiet section, you read over the books until you found the space for the book in your hands. Once it was in place you smiled softly running your hands down its spine.

There was something about the feel of an old book and its cover. Paired with the silence of the library, you felt content. Turning to head back the way you had came, you jumped, hand flying over your chest. Leaning against a shelf behind you was Mattheo. His eyes watching you, the way he looked at you was like a wounded animal. Leaning back against the wall you took a moment to calm your racing heart, and taking a few deep breathes.

“Sorry I scared you...” he said softly, almost like he’d spook you if he was too loud.

You nodded, unsure of what to say.

Silence filled the gap between you both. Mattheo’s gaze on you, watching your every move. While you look down, yet snuck a look every so often. How could almost not seeing each other feel longer then it was? A day felt like a week to both of you. Mattheo missed your laugh and sweet words. While you missed his presence and Mattheo’s smell; aftershave and cigarettes.

Finally, slowly, Mattheo push off the shelf and took a few steps before you, but stopped before getting too close. “(Y/N/N), I wanted to apologise for how I acted yesterday...I shouldn’t, nor did I have the right, to act the way I did or say what I said".

You could hear the genuineness in Mattheo's voice. You could see it in his eyes. He truly was sorry.

You nodded. “It’s alright Matty...” you replied softly.

He nodded. “Just promise me...promise me it’s not Andrew that you like, yeah?”

You looked at Mattheo confused. “N-no, I’d never be interested in him" you paused a moment, “w-why did you say that?”

He shrugged, looking down at the ground like it was fascinating. “You said there was a guy you are interested in...” his tone was tight, a bitterness to each word. “There’s a small list of guys I hate, please don’t let it be any of them".

You listened, processing Mattheo's words and his tone. You weren’t sure but it sounded like he was angry, but then it hit you. “A-are you jealous!?” You gasped in shock and surprise.

His eyes flew up, looking to you in a panic. “W-what!? N-no!” He stammered, taking a step back. Panicking because what you said was true.

You took a step forward. “Y-you are...why?”

Mattheo remained where he was, eyes blown wide as his mind and heart raced. You were close to learning the truth. And he couldn’t have that. He couldn’t have you knowing the truth. How he hated other guys giving you attention, wanting you. Or how it was him that wanted you, needed you, loved you.

You studied the boy before you. The frightened look up his face, how he acted, the words he’d said. Slowly the dots were adding up. And you think – hoped – you’re conclusion was right; that Mattheo Riddle liked you. Your breath caught at the idea, heart picking up its pace. You were excited at the idea, yet you still needed confirmation.

Slowly and shakily, you stepped up to Mattheo. Both your eyes watching the other. This was it. What you were about to do, about to say was going to make or break your friendship. And you hoped he felt the same way as you, and finally you could be happy taking your friendship to the next level.

“Matty...” you said softly, just for the both of you to hear. “D-do you...d-do you like me?”

“O-of course! Your my best friend!” Was his rushed reply. Frightened that your question was you making sure he didn’t like you in a way that could break your friendship.

Yet when a sad, hurt expression crossed your face, did he think for a second he was wrong. Did you want it to be more then friendship between you? Did you like him as more then a friend? You slowly nodded your head, stepping back. Which broke Mattheo's heart. So without thinking, he reached out a hand and grabbed your wrist. Halting you from putting anymore distance between you both.

Your (colour) eyes snapped up, meeting Mattheo's chocolate brown ones. Silently pleading to be let go, yet he wouldn’t. Not till he knew for sure. Moving forward, he brought you closer to him. His other hand moving to cup your cheek. Mattheo searched your eyes for any hint of you wanting him to stop, that you didn’t want him like this. But to his surprise he didn’t see any objection. Surprise and hope. That was all he needed.

Taking that last step, one that he couldn’t come back from. Mattheo leaned in, lips hovering over yours. You could feel his warm breath upon your lips, his eyes looking to yours, giving you one last chance to stop this once and for all. Feeling a surge of confidence, you were the one to close the last sliver of a gap, lips finally meeting.

It was a soft, gentle kiss. Lips press together for a moment, before pulling back to hovering once more. You both looked at the other, seeing the joy and wanting in the others eyes. Mattheo finally moved the hand holding your wrist to your waist, before wrapping his arm around you and bringing you flush against him. Chest to chest. The hand cupping your cheek warm, his thumb caressing your cheek.

Mattheo then he pressed his lips to yours again, only this time harder. He tilted his head as he ran his tongue along your bottom lip. Without hesitation you opened your mouth, his tongue entering just as quickly. Your tongues met, moving together in quick caresses. Your eyes closed enjoying this passionate kiss with Mattheo. Without realising it, Mattheo moved forward, which had you moving backwards, until your back hit the wall. He caged you in, as well as hiding you both a little more.

After a while, you both had to pull back, your breathing heavy as Mattheo rested his forehead against yours. You both looked to the other, silly smiles on your faces. Giddy with how much you had longed for that moment.

“It was you...” you said softly, “the guy I like...”

Mattheo chuckled. “Yeah, I figured that now...”

Guess he didn’t need his mates help after all. All it took was him getting jealous, upsetting you and apologising for this to happen. Mattheo doesn’t regret it, or your first kiss. But he wish he’d known sooner that you felt the same way, so he wouldn’t have had to be jealous of Andrew.

[ram-bles]

HELLOOOO

I got a silly little ask, just a drabble from you would be fine 😁

Like- the reader (gender neutral) wasn't very open about their hobbies and such. One of their hobbies was like martial arts or smth (THIS IS VERY CRUCIAL ☝️☝️☝️)

Wellll, one day Jimmy (🤮) decided to try and touch the reader inappropriately and they just throw him over their shoulder saying something along the lines of "Do NOT touch me."

I KNOW IT'S CRINGE BUT PLEASEEEE, IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY 🙏🙏🙏🙏

I saw you're writing for only Curly and Daisuke, but if you wanna you can add other characters into the mix. It's all platonic, just a silly little ask cuz I wanna laugh 😁😁😁

[ Tulpar Crew & Reader ]

Oh I love this one. Also this reminded me to update my list thank u 4 unintentionally reminding me anon.,.,. ALSO DONT WORRY I DONT THINK IT'S CRINGE !

gender neutral reader, it gets silly later on i promise. not proof-read. wrote this really quick.

⚠️ tw: stalking, jimmy being a little too forward and close

The day was pretty much mundane, like always. Everyone was in their designated work stations, including you of course. Though, something felt off. It had been like this for the past week, and you hated it. You even blamed your lack of sleep for it. It seemed like there was something— someone, watching and following you when you were alone.

One time, you'd even woken up to the sound of your quarter's door closing. You stayed up all night, not wanting to inconvenience the other crew members for what you think might just be all in your head. Well, that is until psych evaluation day came and you opened up about this to Anya who so easily believed you, but seemed so uncomfortable with the topic. You decided not to pry out of respect. She offers her company when you need it.

That same night, Daisuke offered to host a game session to which everyone reluctantly agreed to.

Establishing good bonds between workers is key to an efficient working environment!

Anya, Swansea and Daisuke were sitting by the sofa, Curly dragged a chair just beside the game table, whilst you and Jimmy sat beside each other on the floor. The game involved four players and the crew decided that whoever loses first has to swap with whoever hasn't played yet for the next rounds. The game was getting heated, Daisuke and Anya, neck on neck. Unfortunately, not the only thing neck on neck. Everyone else was too focused on the game to even notice what Jimmy was doing. You can feel his breath against your skin. You eyed the others in hopes that they would see. Too busy. Annoyed and grossed out, you elbowed his ribs in warning, glaring at him. "Jimmy, don't touch me." He seems pissed, but that doesn't deter him from getting his entertainment. Jimmy presses on and you swear you felt your eyebrows twitch. The balls of this guy to even do this here.

Daisuke throws the dice, the three leans in in anticipation as they watch it slowly roll to a stop and—

CRASH!

Some game pieces flew in different directions, two table legs snapping from the force and Jimmy's weight. It was radio silent for a moment. The crew having different variations of shocked expressions. You had grabbed his arm and flipped his body onto the furniture.

"Fuckin' pervert. Are you deaf, or what? I said do NOT touch me."

Daisuke threw his hands up in the air and settled it on each side of his head, frustrated. "Oh, come on, man! I was so close to winni—!" His whining ceases when Swansea nudges him, instantly shutting up and processing what had just happened. It took a few blinks for him to register and he eventually bursts out laughing and pointing at Jimmy. It took everything from Swansea not to burst out laughing as well. Instead, he crosses his arms and huffs with a proud smile. 'Atta' kid.'

Anya on the other hand slips out a gasp, covering her mouth. Mostly out of shock, and no sympathy for the man whatsoever. When the other intern started laughing, she had to bite her lip and look away to suppress her own fit.

[ History of glenohumeral joint subluxation.

It happened way too fast for Jimmy to even process what just happened. He spits out something hard, probably a tooth. His shoulder slightly stings as well, probably dislocated. He'll get back at you some other time, he can't get back at you when everyone else is here and that pisses him off even more.

Curly had mixed feelings. But of course, he prioritizes his role and he has to mediate everything first and foremost. Rubbing his face, he sighs and stands up, putting his hands on his hips. He calls your name and you tilted your head to look up at him. "I have to discuss... this with you later on. Please drop by the cockpit, yeah?" You roll your eyes and nod, pouting. "Swansea, could we borrow your intern real quick?"

"Shift's over, go ahead."

He gives the eldest a nod. "Daisuke, please assist Anya. Help her bring Jimmy to medical."

"Youuuuu got it, Big C." He finger guns towards the captain then stands up to hover over the co-pilot. Curly could only give Daisuke an awkward smile at the nickname.

"Never call him that again."

"El Capitano." Daisuke helps Jimmy up, making sure he's pulling them up by the injured arm, making the man grit his teeth and groan in pain. Before the guy could even cuss at the intern, Swansea continued bickering.

"Do your damn job."

"Yessir. Swansir."

Anya and Daisuke finally went off the bring the poor injured co-pilot to treat him. And if you'd like to know, Anya taught Daisuke how to pull Jimmy's shoulder back to place. Yes, everyone heard him when it happened.

You helped Swansea clean up the mess by the lounge and in apology, offered to help repair the table the next day. He agrees and even offers Daisuke to assist you.

Curly had to lightly reprimand you for your actions, but you'd explained to him what happened. The best he could do for you for now is lie on the report.

Sustained through occupational accident.

Employee confirmed inebriated while working.

Property damage docked to Jimmy.]

[squibsformers]

Miscommunication

Rodimus x Human Reader, Drift x Ratchet x Human Reader

Summary: After Rodimus tried looping you into something you really weren't into, you sought out your other partners to complain about his reveal of character.

Word Count: 1,128

AN: NSFW suggestive talk, no outright smut. Also hi this is my first tf writing soooo lmk what your thoughts are, i love comments. I'm already working on a reader insert series and wanted to start with a few one off bits. Enjoy! tagging valveplug just in case.

Drift looked up when you entered the medbay, his greeting dying on his glossa as his field just PINGED with the waves of displeasure coming off you.

“Jeez… what's got you all wound up, huh?” He straightened his backstuts as he stood up more from the desk he leaned over, messing with Ratchet temporarily set aside.

You hissed a rush of words under your breath as you strutted in, something that he couldn't TELL what was said but he understood it wasn't very polite. Even the older medic bot lifted his head to address you.

“I only managed to make out Rodimus in all that. What did our oh so brilliant captain do to piss you off?”

 “I thought this whole time we were leading up to something… fun. But it turns out I misread every step. He thinks he's BETTER than me.”

“He's the captain, he is better than you.”

You whipped your head around to glare at Ratchet. “Better enough that I deserve to clean the dirt off his kibble with my tongue?? Because I feel that's pretty fucking degrading.”

Both bots stilled, and the medic's “Wait, what-” was interrupted by Drift stalling briefly and talking over him. “That doesn't sound at ALL like something Roddy would say.”

“I thought so, too.” You huffed before your attitude melted into something a bit sadder. “I mean… I've been flirting with him for so long, and he's been receptive towards it. You even told me he said he likes me. So I don't know where this came from…” 

Groaning, you put your face in your hands, and idly Ratchet patted your back while working (and half listening). 

“I didn't even think that would be a thing with you guys, making someone tongue-polish your like, plating and stuff.”

“That sounds like something Megatron would have had Starscream do back in the day,” Ratchet groused, making Drift mock gagging.

“I'm going to purge my tank, don't make me think about those two like that.” A shudder wracked the ex ‘con's frame. “Eugh. No it's not really a thing with us. Is…is it a human thing?”

“Ah…” The question made you pause to think. “Not… really? I mean, kind of. It's usually an extremely exaggerated form of punishment from someone who wants to uh… show superiority while demeaning the other. Though it's shoes or boots for us, not armor spikes. The idea is to polish the dirtiest article of clothing with their tongue - or glossa - so they feel... sub-human. Though there's always exceptions, and some people are into that kinda thing as like, a kink? But it's really not…what I'm looking for.” You wince.

….Ratchet paused his comforting as he listened, before turning to look you over. “Hold on, back up. Armor spikes… kid, what did Rodimus say to you?”

Drift leaned over the autobot's shoulder, studying you closely. The samurai looked both confused…and disbelieving.

Alright, fine then.

“He said ‘Y’know… Maybe you can put that glossa of yours to use and… clean my spikes with it.’” They let out a grumble. “I didn't peg him for the degrading type…”

The two mechs went oddly quiet and still.

“Spikes… plural?” Drift pressed.

You thought back more, mulling the memory over, of the captain of the Lost Light leering down at you with that heated smirk and his thumb on your cheek…and shook your head.

“No, sorry. Just spike.”

“PFFT-”

You looked up to see Drift looking away, one of his servos clamped over his intake as he cackled. His limbs shook and he held onto Ratchet to steady himself. The medic was looking away, face buried in his hands. His shoulders shook.

He was also laughing at you.

“What. WHAT! HEY?? HELLO!!”

“Kid…Kid, Sp..spike is another term we have for plug.” Ratchet mumbled out. Still laughing. Very much laughing at you. His words caused Drift to wheeze and bend over, his vents stuttering as he cackled.

“He was asking you to interface finally and you totally missed it..!! Oh Primus help me, what did you say? What did you say, tell me. Please, it has to be good.”

Your face got warm as you thought of the fact that you had finally gotten Rodimus interested enough he would make a bold pass. Your face was hot when you realized you had totally missed his signals. Your face was practically on fire when it clicked just how badly you fumbled the whole interaction.

“I… I said Ew, no thanks. And came here-”

“THAAAAHAHAATS THE WORST THING YOU C-COOOHOULD HAVE SAID!!! AAAHAHAGHA OH PRIMUS-”

“Frag me, kid you did not-”

There was no saving you. Both mechs were now openly laughing at your misery. Your face buried in your hands you mumbled out a weak “How was I supposed to know!” that only made Drift start losing it all over again.

After some time (Ten. Minutes.) the two much larger beings had settled, Ratchet returning to his work and chuckling on occasion while Drift…pestered you over your absolute dropping of the ball.

“I can't believe this. I'm almost scared to flirt with you now because you may not get it!”

“Driiiiift…!” You whined, the cheeky samurai squeezing your hips. “Let me go, I want to jettison myself out of the airlock.”

“Not a chance!! I mean I want to make sure if I tell you I wanna have you eat my valve from the back that you aren't going to mistake it for me, say, threatening to mug you or something.”

Your face was bright red. “Drift!!”

“Or, oh man, if I tell you I want to slot my plug between your thighs, maybe you'll think I'm wanting you to-”

“RATCHET! DRIFT IS BULLYING ME AGAIN!” Complaining loudly, you squirmed in Drift's hold while eyeing his Conjux, displeased and humiliated and hoping the medic would scold him or something.

Ratchet barely spared you a glance with his optics as he continued his inventory count. He was literally busy and not paying attention to you two.

“Between words from attractive mechs, manhandling, and something almost too big to go in, you enjoy being bullied, and all of us here are very aware of it,” drawled the grouch's response.

You stared at him, mouth dropped open in shock and WORSE embarrassment at how he called your bullshit out. All while Drift began cackling all over again.

—

You stared up at the habisuite door, staring at the imposing metal barrier of captain Rodimus Prime's personal chambers. Your stomach twisted in knots nervously, your palms somewhat sweaty as you raised a fist and knocked hard, twice. Mentally, you prepared your apology as you heard shuffling and the soft clank of pedes across a metal floor.

God, you hoped the mech thought stupid was hot.

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

Hey bestie, dropping by with a mea culpa. When Peaceful Property started, you expressed concern that GMMTV was inching toward a model of using bl pairs in shows that would avoid being explicitly gay but still draw on shipping fandom to be successful. Coming off The Trainee, which was not a bl but did have expIicitly queer characters and romance subplots, I wasn't sure the intentions were quite that dark for PP, but having now finished it and seen the way some in the production have interacted with shipper fans, I have to call it: you were right to be concerned. At no point was this show ever a bl and none of its principal characters are canonically queer, but they successfully leveraged the TayNew ship to have fans interacting with it as if it was in fact a gay love story, that idea and fan commentary was explicitly encouraged by the creators, and the show has been quite successful despite never actually delivering on all the TayNew bait. I'm definitely concerned that we might have somehow swung back around to queerbaiting being seen as acceptable and good, as long as it features popular branded pairs. I don't have any bigger thoughts to offer about how this should be addressed, but just wanted to come back and say you were valid for naming that!

Thank you. I didn't want to be correct. And I am still hoping to wrong about what this says about where GMMTV is going.

But I am not gonna lie, seeing the posts about the finale did regnite the massive fury I had at this project when it was first called a bromance. So I am going to use your ask as an opportunity to vent.

FOR THE RECORD: I am not mad at you, or at the people and mutual on my dash that have enjoyed the show and are claiming as gay out of spite. My anger is at GMMTV and at GMMTV alone.

THEY DID THIS SHIT TWICE ALREADY!!! Back to fucking back.

I know High Schoool Frenemy is being watched by like 5 people on tumblr. But it's doing well outside of tumblr. They are using bl style fanservice with the 2 main boys of that show. I have seen the shippy content and compilations along with the other bl couples. Not to mention people like Jojo saying those characters are the his new favorite ship on twitter.

AND I AM SO PISSED!!!!

I am glad you brought up TayNew because there is no doubt in my mind that they used TayNew for Peaceful Property as a test. They knew there could be backlash. They knew the bl fandom could have rioted. But they also knew that if it that rage would have been directed at TayNew not at the director, not the company but TAYNEW.

And I think TayNew knew this. Because they spend weeks on social media doing preintive damage control, I have seen the posts of them (or at least New) saying it wasn't going to be romantic. I don't think the two of them forgot how they were left to eat the shit alone over the bullshit backlash during the TayGun kiss situation with GMMTV doing fuck all for them.

And what pisses me off is that BL audience didn't even give a backlash. They eat that shit up like it was fucking icecream.

The BL audience is literally doing their job for them. They are taking a show with some gay subtext and running with it.

They are showing up for the fanservice (again broder audience outside of tumblr), and gleefully closing their eyes and ears and saying well I Think It's Gay.

What do you think Mega Corporation GMMTV is going to take from the success and no backlash? If the answear is anything but: We can produce half of the BLs as usual and make the rest Bromances, you have more faith in corporations then I do.

Because Bromances can be watched by non BL audiences as well. The BL niche is a big one, but it is still a niche.

And now they won't even have to bother inserting arguable quality gay commentary or struggles or homophobia. Or any gay kissing, no more workshops. No more worries about how effective these potential straight boys are going to be at playing gay. All they have to do is making them do fanservice, and they are great at training people for that. Or better yet, actually use one or two ships that have kissed before and done actual BLs.

Will they stop doing BL at all, obviously not, you gotta give the BL audience something to remind them they can still show boys kissing, and we have the Ex Morning and Jojo that will never actually stop making BLs and some gay shit. But if in the next line up we will more bromances, and eventually we get half BL and half bromances I wouldn't be surprised.

Of course maybe I am just pessimistic and cynical. Maybe the proto bdsm in the heart killers is enough to persuade people that I am totally wrong. I guess we will see about that.

Thanks again for the ask and the oppurtunity to vent a little. Again I don't fault anyone for enjoying this, it was design to get the BL audience watching.

I will personally be keeping with my own resolution and never watch another gmmtv show live ever again, maybe binge the few that sound interesting and that's it.

At least I can find comfort in the idea that that other companies do not have the same level of BIG cast of boys and big budget to do the same thing and follow in the bromance trend.

[miquella-everywhere]

Fr tho Marika is the worst mother ever

She gouged out the eyes of her first born and after a while couldn't even bother to look past his deformities and abandoned him in a parallel dimension to carry out her divinely mandated bloodshed but he still tried to please his mother because he loved her but at the very end realized that she didn't love him and cursed her with his dying breath, she was apparently a healer and a God on top of that but evidently did absolutely nothing to try and help her daughter who suffered from "rot-from-the-inside-out" disease from birth and did not care about her, and now with her history with the hornsent you know damn well that she absolutely loathed the omen twins and felt no remorse throwing them into the sewers

and then you have her youngest son who was absolutely terrified by the idea of becoming a God and saw all of his mothers evils for what they were but also believed that godhood was the only thing that could fix the misery she inflicted upon the world so you can only imagine the kind of toxic traumatic relationship he had with her throughout in his eternal childhood and also marikas grace sending us to murder said child

like damn what the hell

And I do not give two shits about her "my family died 😢" sob story because if anything it pisses me off even more

Like I have seen so many interpretations that Marika must have been a good person for what she did at the Shaman Village and tried to be good past that, but no.

Absolutely not.

The Shaman Village is where Marika buried her kindness and went on to commit a Genocide and one bloody slaughter after another and another and another and another and another...

Gideon says it best when he confronts us; "Queen Marika wants us to struggle unto Eternity."

Marika killed her kindness and made sure that the rest of the world would suffer alongside her, including her own children.

and yknow what?

I actually would not have minded any of this and definitely would've liked her character way more if the DLC actually went into detail about how she betrayed, murdered and stole from a pregnant woman in order to ascend to Godhood

like

yas! 👏 you go you unapologetic power hungry queen! 👏

but now with the story trailer fucking lying and the dlc doing everything to try an justify her genocidal bullshit I'm actually pissed the hell off

[1toreyouapart]

What It Cost

****THIS IS A FICTIONAL STORY BASED ON REAL PEOPLE. 18+ ONLY. I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THE PEOPLE OR MUSIC MENTIONED IN THIS STORY OUTSIDE OF LILITH AND SADIE AND MAYBE A COUPLE OTHERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE NOT UP FOR FANFIC INVOLVING REAL PEOPLE***

Terrible summary: Five years since she last spoke to him. Since she last saw him. Now his face and his voice is everywhere. She can't escape him.

Five years ago Noah destroyed her and the life they had built. Now he’s back and seeking to make amends. As much as she wants to say that it's too little too late, is it?

CW/TW: Angst, mention of addiction, cheating. Mention of character death. Language. Smut (later on). PinV, unprotected PinV (wrap it before you tap it, friends), oral (f&m receiving). All smutty warnings happen later on, so I’ll update TW/CW warning labels as those parts are written and posted. If I forget anything, please let me know so I can fix it! Thank you!

Part 6 - Lilith

Noah had text her two hours ago, asking if they could talk. Again. Since then she'd been an anxious mess. Part of her was shocked he hadn't just shown up like the last time. Everything in her told him to tell him no. That there was nothing to talk about anymore. He had said he was sorry and they could go about their lives. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Couldn't bring herself to tell him to leave her alone. What the fuck was wrong with her? She should hate him. So why couldn't she?

Sadie joined her on the back porch, handing her a takeout container and a fork. Lilly couldn't help the smile at the small gesture. She'd sort of started the tradition back when the two of them had just met, always giving Sadie food from her and Noah's dates. Now it was her doing it after hers and Jolly's.

"He wants to talk."

"So, no stomach for food at the moment?" Sadie took the food back, knowing too well what happened if she ate while nervous. It wouldn't stay down long.

"I don't know what to say." Lilly sighed, her stomach starting to churn more forcefully.

"Listen," Sadie began. "I know we all know I'm still pissed at him. But, maybe hear him out? He at least seems like he's trying."

Lilly huffed out a laugh, dropping her head into her hands, elbows resting on her knees. She had expected Sadie to tell her to ignore him or to tell him to fuck off. Which almost would have guaranteed she agree to talk to him. Probably something Sadie had counted on, actually.

"I don't know-"

"Lilly, I heard him, too. He's never sounded like that. Jolly said he's been locked up in his room since." She sighed. "Maybe talk to him. If you don't want to hear what he has to say, that's fine, but at least give him a chance to do what he should have done years ago."

Sadie had a point. Never had she seen Noah like that. Sure, she had seen him close a few times when things weren't going right, but never to the point that he was on his knees, clutching his chest like that. The way he had sounded, like he was breaking. Shattering right in front of her. How unfocused his eyes had been. He hadn't been there in the present. Noah had been somewhere else in his mind.

Chewing on her bottom lip she picked up her phone, debating between texting him back and just calling him. Suddenly Sadie reached over, taking her phone from her.

"Hey!"

"Jesus. You both need to learn how to just get on with it." Sadie laughed, typing out a response for her and hitting send. "He'll probably be here soon. I'll make myself scarce."

***

Her heart leapt into her throat as she watched him pull up, her hands beginning to shake. Fuck. Right now seemed like a real good time to start smoking. Maybe she should have had some wine or something first. Either way she needed something to calm the nerves. Yet here she was empty handed, watching as he climbed out of his car, a tall iced coffee in hand. No hoodie this time. Just a pair of shorts and a plain white shirt.

She watched, helpless, as he climbed the steps onto the porch. Watched as he walked over to her, holding out the iced coffee for her. Her stomach flipped at the realization that he had brought her some kind of peace offering.

"Iced spiced chai, double shot, with a pump of pumpkin, right?" He asked, his voice soft.

"You remember my order." It wasn't a question, more of an observation than anything. Carefully, she reached out, taking the coffee from him, grateful to have something to hold. "Thank you."

Noah nodded, sitting in the chair opposite her. She had to admit to herself she was shocked that after all this time he had remembered something so small. Then again, she clearly hadn't changed much in five years if she still got the same coffee every day. Nervous, she took a sip, not daring to look up at him.

"Sorry about the other night," he started.

"I don't know. I think that's the most honest I've ever seen you, Noah," she quipped, wincing at her own harshness. "Sorry."

"No," he chuckled. "That's fair. That's really fucking fair."

"I'm not sorry that I finally was honest with you. I am, however, sorry that I started having a fucking panic attack, though."

"You're okay, though?" She asked, finally looking up at him.

Now that she looked at him she could see just how tired he was. Like he had barely slept. And deep down she felt bad for him. And maybe a little guilty. Maybe she shouldn't have been so hard on him the other night.

"Honestly? Been better. But, comes with the territory, I suppose."

The two of them sat there, a heavy silence falling between them. There he was, being honest again. The Noah she had known would have said he was fine. He would have skirted around the issue entirely and made a stupid joke.

"Listen, Bambi. I fucked up. Royally. You didn't deserve any of the shit that I did. Even the stuff you overlooked from the start." He grimaced, remembering some of the shit he had done.

"Noah-"

"Nope. Not done. You are also the first person I should have reached out to once I got sober. Instead I've been too chicken shit, as Nicholas loves to point out, to face you because the shit I put you through at the end? That was beyond fucked up. Like, way beyond. I was doing shit just to hurt you. And you deserved better. You still deserve better."

Lilith sat there, gripping the coffee he had brought her, feeling like she was going to vomit. Tears blurred her vision, her mind racing. Here he was, giving her more of an apology than she had ever thought she would get. And as much as she wanted to be angry, she just couldn't anymore. She wanted to scream and yell and call him an asshole, but the anger and the words just wouldn't come. Where did she go from here?

Tag: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard

[lissa612]

It’s sorta crazy how a stupid TV show has been able to trigger my anxiety so bad, but it makes sense when I consider all I had been using my hyper fixation on it to distract myself from. Alas, my anxiety has brought back my insomnia which means I wake up sometime between 1am and 2:30am every morning and just MIGHT start feeling ready to fall asleep against around 5…When my alarm goes off to get ready for work.

But it leaves me a lot of time for random pondering. And this morning got me thinking of one thing that either pisses me off or gives me hope (I guess I’ll know eventually…)

They didn’t need a character like Tommy for Buck’s bi (? Maybe - That actually hasn’t truly been confirmed in canon 🙄) awakening.

This is going to sound a lot like some of the anti-Tommy talking points, but please stay with me.

It really COULD have been any good looking, cool guy who did it. Imagine Johnny, a 40yo adrenaline junkie sport type that Buck and Eddie meet during a big emergency the way they met Ali. Now unlike Ali, Johnny keeps it together during the emergency and like Ali helps them save himself and others. Could even make him a military man. Now they could leave this emergency all having one another’s numbers and something along the lines of 7x04 still could have happened.

Buck calls Johnny to see his fun exciting job/hobby, but Johnny is pulled away when Eddie shows up for them to go do something they’d already planned. Buck isn’t complaining to Maddie about Eddie spending all this time with the new guy, but it’s not the cool pilot she already knows about but the cool free climber or whatever they met on a call. The same conclusions are still met with the conversation. Maybe the basketball game isn’t strictly first responders…Chim doesn’t have quite the same idea what’s going on since he really doesn’t know this guy, but he gets that Buck only asked him to the game because Eddie was bringing his new friend. Things still go badly for Eddie’s ankle and Johnny comes to the loft to apologize. There’s no talk about the 118 family, of course, but perhaps some other vulnerability about friendships and a kiss. There’s a date that still goes to hell. There’s coming out to Maddie and Eddie. There’s the coffee meet up. They could still have Buck go balls to the wall and invite him to the wedding despite him only really know Buck and Eddie. Johnny wouldn’t go to the bachelor party and maybe he comes to the hospital, maybe he doesn’t.

Their relationship does what Buck’s relationships do when there isn’t much connecting the person to his teammates or the plots of the show. Bobby can only say that Buck seems happy and settled…He can’t pass judgment on a person he doesn’t know. And they go through the dramas of the 118 together until something triggers a desire for a big move forward for Buck…And the same sort of break up happens.

It’s sad. It’s probably still a bit offensive. But there was never any loss to what could have been brought to the show overall by the departure of Buck’s latest partner, even if he was new in some ways.

But that’s not what happened.

They decided to bring in an established character that could be molded into what they wanted. A firefighter. Better yet, a firefighter PILOT on a show about firefighting that could use some fresh emergency plot ideas. A character with history in the house that holds Buck’s family. With Chim and with Hen and even with Bobby if it’s not nearly as much since Bobby wasn’t his open hearted self back when Tommy was there. And Tommy wasn’t either.

So you have this character who is compatible with the job. He can make for interesting storylines outside of relationship ones. There isn’t going to be a lame break up because the job is dangerous. There isn’t going to be a betrayal based on their mutual prioritizing of work since they would both understand how the work needs priority. You have things you can explore putting the character in pairings with practically every other main and have it make sense.

All that potential by choosing to go with this character that fits so well to just NOT do any of it.

That’s the real loss I am feeling as a fan of the show from the beginning.

And yeah, I shipped BuckTommy and I had hopes for things I wanted to see between them because Buck is my favorite character and I love seeing him shine. I’m heartbroken by his heart being broken. I’m heartbroken because I saw all this potential that I assumed professional storytellers would also see and not squander. That assumption left me blindsided when it seemed they did squander it.

And everyone saying it was written on the wall - It wasn’t. Yes, Buck’s relationships always fail. That’s how things work - Relationships fail until one WORKS. And this one seemed like it should work. Unless you are watching through goggles telling you without a doubt Buck’s endgame lays elsewhere, there was no warning that this is what would happen at the 6 month mark of the relationship.

And it seems like a really dumb thing to do, to let go of such an interesting tool you have available to you as a storyteller. You didn’t have to make the character such an asset to you and the story.

Maybe I’m jumping the gun and they do have plans for possible stories in the future. Awkward emergencies with the 118 and 217 on a scene together for some reason that will use some of that potential. So maybe there is some reason to hope.

Or maybe it is just wasted. And I’m pissed as a fan of the show and as someone who feels emotionally whiplashed by 8x05 and 8x06.

I guess we’ll see. I refuse get my hopes up. Perhaps I’ll watch the show live tonight…Depends if being up at 2am means I’m exhausted by 6:30pm again today (I was only able to force myself to stay awake until 8pm last night). I’ll watch eventually regardless. But I’m probably back to watching the show the way I did before and how I currently watch Ghosts and Tracker…When I remember the show, I’ll binge what I missed. Or I’ll turn it on if I remember during the timeslot. It’s no longer must see TV for me that I will make plans around.

Anyway, done rambling…

[itwdoris]

Anything with toji or megumi pls do ur magic specialty ✨

fushiguro megumi x afab reader.

author notes; all characters are aged up.

tw; omorashi.

★

"megumi..." you called low for help, as you had just painted your beautiful nails and well, your bladder didn't seem to mind much, begging for release. surely your best friend would help you in this situation.

the black-haired man looked at you as he closed the nail polish bottles and put them back, looking at you and hoping that you would make more than just half-desperate faces, because he needed words. "what?"

"need help." you maneuvered yourself onto your knees, biting your lip while pressing your thighs together. it was getting harder to hold than you thought at the beginning of everything.

"what for?" well, he would help you, he just needed to know what you needed, because you seemed very restless, blowing your nails to try to make them dry faster, but that would ruin the nail polish, wouldn't it?

"need- oh lord..." your face was on fire with the realization of what you'd asked him to do, you were intimate but speaking out loud wasn't as easy as you thought. "-i need to pee."

fushiguro needed a few minutes to process what you had asked, because he was a great best friend and would surely always be there to help you, but what exactly did you expect from him with this? because he didn't know if he could hide a ridiculously big erection by helping you pee, by seeing your

fuck.

"megumi!" you closed your eyes as you called softly, wriggling more and more, with the damp esmlate on your nails, trying not to soil your clothes or the bedclothes. "oh lord..."

he blinked a few times as he came back to earth, watching you try to get out of bed on your knees before there was an accident. well, it wasn't as if you didn't know, after drinking so much water, you'd been holding it in since early on, and was doing well, holding back when felt that it was going to leak or that you needed to go, he saw you stir several times.

"w-what do you need me to do?" he asked as he grabbed you by the arm, preventing you from getting out of bed. the ears are a little red.

you thought of many scenarios at once, the best was when he just helped you with the clothes and you did the rest, so it was chosen.

"j-just help me with my clothes." he let go of your arm so that you could come to him, hearing a loud gulp and looking at him.

it turns out that megumi was just imagining a lot of scenarios too, thankful that you couldn't read his mind. he's not a perv.

shaking his head to get it away when you stoped in front of him, taking your hands to the buttons of your shorts to open them and help you take them off. and this part was a bit difficult as he had to make you lie down and the position you were in seemed a little suggestive, even more so with your incessant whimpers.

"you're wet?" he looked at your panties with a big wet spot, your eyebrows arching in concern, had you really leaked at those times? "how long have you been holding it?"

your face suddenly turned red and you looked away, pressing your lips together as fushiguro tried his best to think of things, because he couldn't get hard right now, even if it was almost impossible. poor fushiguro.

"you've been holding it since early on, haven't you?" he asked almost in disbelief, bending down a little to pull you by the arms and help you up so that you could get out of bed and go to the bathroom. "why didn't you go before?"

not that he was complaining about being here now, because honestly, seeing you with your piss-soaked panties and your little red face was better than anything he had imagined.

"thought i could hold it longer..." you cringed nervously, but not too much because soon something leaked again and there you were. "megumi!-"

just a bit late, because soon you were pissing yourself and he couldn't do much about it, just watching the wet spot on your panties gradually increase each time the flow was released more, listening to your relieved sigh and seeing your body arched in relaxation, face red and looking so pleasurable. he could feel his cock throbbing inside his pants.

and you were so embarrassed, with face turned away so you wouldn't have to face him, you didn't needed to see to hear and know that the flow was wetting the bed and probably a bit of his clothes, taking hands to your intimacy with the intention of covering it.

but megumi pushed them away, his eyes on your soaked panties as he gasped quietly, daring to run his hands over your thighs and up a little further until he reached the hem of your panties, coming a little closer just to pull them up, hearing a moan from you. "ngh! megumi! "

he could see your messy folds against the wet fabric, he could see so it well, he could feel when he ran his hand over it.

megumi could so many things as he felt your piss diminishing little by little, now dripping against his fingers. moving away from you just a little, sighing, putting his wet hand on his clothed cock for a little relief.

damn, now he needs help.

i don't know anything, but a little birdie told me that megumi has a BIG pisskink... anyway, i still don't think i've done him justice, but one day we'll get there.

i received an ask and i wanted to try an idea so i took advantage of this pretty request, dunno if it's really valid as omo, but i don't think it's that far off so.. hope you like it <3

[deathshallbethelastenemy]

Breaking my silence ... sjm SUCKS I just wasted my time reading acotar (read the tags if you want a rant)

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

‘the black bastard of the wall’ moniker is the exact opposite of the ‘white wolf’ moniker and this perfectly highlights the irreconcilable differences between book Jon and show Jon

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

[myrmica]

its so funny that all minute—the guy who once upon a time hoped to redeem zam—'s team has accomplished is getting him to consider giving up his remaining honor in order to match the level they're playing on ?

[the-way-astray]

i am not ready to get pissed off today but can we not ruin people’s positive fandom experiences. can we not. if someone makes a post saying “i love sophie foster!!!!” can we not go to that post and immediately comment “well i don’t like her”. if someone shares a headcanon and it clashes with yours can we not go to that post and reply “well that headcanon is WRONG because HERE’S WHAT CANON SAYS”. if someone talks about a ship can we not go on that post and start ripping it to shreds. can we not. you are aware that just scrolling past without engaging is an option, right? you know you can tamp down the urge to express your negative opinion where inappropriate, right? make your own damn post!!!! can we not ruin positivity posts for the people that like/made them. can we please not. please.