#ALL THAT TRAUMA. HE H A S TO BE BABY

[nya-nya-agere]

Bad day today. So here’s fishie!!!!

[mononijikayu]

don't look back in anger — gojo satoru.

“They have no right, my love.” you say, trying to keep your voice steady but failing. “After everything you’ve done, everything you’ve given—how dare they blame you?” Satoru doesn’t look at you, his bright blue eyes half-lidded, fixed somewhere distant. His signature smirk is missing, replaced by an unfamiliar stillness. “It’s not surprising, baby.” he mutters, voice barely above a whisper. “They always need someone to blame. KIlling the higher ups is just a step. The rot still exists from some people’s thinking, you know?”

GENRE: post hidden - inventory arc (2010s)

WARNING/S: spoilers for chapter 269 of jjk, domesticity, fluff, angst, trauma, implied death, violence, romance, hurt/comfort, character death depiction of death, depictions of loss and depression, depiction of blood, depiction of killing, depiction of suffering, depiction of anxiety, mention of death, mention of grief, profanity, family drama;

WORDS: 3k words.

NOTE: i decided to write this really REALLY fast before uni because i can't stop thinking about how angry i am that satoru isn't being mentioned in the latest chapters. and i just needed to let this out. thank you a lot for reading it though!!! i love you all <3

masterlist

u s and t h e m

if you want to, tip! <3

IT’S ONLY BEEN A DAY OR TWO SINCE THE BATTLE. But you hover over your husband so constantly that you can’t help but notice the subtle signs—he’s doing his best to be patient with you.

Satoru’s usually the one with the infinite calm, the one who never loses his cool. But every time you adjust his blanket, offer him water, or check in on how he’s feeling, you catch the slightest flicker of exasperation behind those brilliant blue eyes.

He never says anything, of course. Instead, he smiles at you, that teasing grin of his that you know too well. But you can feel it in the way his gaze lingers just a bit too long, in the way his shoulders tense every time you fuss over him. He’s trying to bear it without complaint—because he knows you’re only worried—but it’s there.

“You’re doing it again,” Satoru finally says, a playful edge to his tone, though you catch the weariness underneath.

You blink, momentarily taken aback. “Doing what?”

He chuckles softly, his voice low. “You know what. Hovering.”

Your lips press together in a thin line, knowing he’s right but not willing to back down. “I just want to make sure you’re okay,” you say, trying to keep the defensiveness out of your voice.

“I’m fine,” he replies, his smile softening. “Really. You don’t have to worry so much.” 

You narrow your eyes at him, unconvinced. “You’re still recovering. Let me worry.”

“I know.” He reaches out, taking your hand in his. “But if you keep this up, you’re going to drive yourself crazy. And me.”

Despite yourself, a small smile tugs at your lips. “You? Crazy? Impossible.”

Satoru laughs, shaking his head. “Even I have my limits, you know.”

You lean back slightly, loosening your grip on him, but not without a lingering glance. “Alright, alright. I’ll try to give you some space. But just a little.”

He smirks, a hint of his usual mischief returning. “Just enough to let me breathe, maybe?”

You roll your eyes, but the tension between you eases, the moment settling into something lighter. Still, you can’t help but keep a watchful eye on him, even as you pull back. It’s in your nature to worry—and Satoru knows it.

The ride home from Jujutsu High is thick with tension, the echoes of the conversations from earlier still gnawing at you. Megumi walks beside you, his silence mirroring your own frustration.

The meeting had been a circus of finger-pointing and thinly veiled accusations, and even though Satoru wasn’t there, his name was dragged through the mud as if he had been. Blame for Yuji, blame for the crumbling system—everyone needed a scapegoat, and as usual, they chose Satoru.

By the time you reach the Gojo manor, you’re seething. You can’t shake the bitterness from the gathering—their condescending tones, the way they talked about Satoru like he was a liability instead of the reason half of them were still alive. As though being the strongest changes the fact that your husband is a breathing human being. 

In the view of the water gardens, it was peaceful. And yet all at once, a storm brewed inside of you. You and Satoru sit together in the quiet, as you have been for the past few days now. But unlike these past few days, the view does not make you feel calm and at peace at all.

Instead, your irritation is palpable, your fingers drumming impatiently on the armrest of the chair. Gojo Satoru lies next to you, still recovering, his usual vibrancy dampened by both physical exhaustion and the heavy burden of blame. The weight of jujutsu society’s accusations presses down on the room, though none of them are here to face him.

Across the room, Fushiguro Megumi stands silently, arms crossed, watching you both. He’s fully aware of the anger simmering just beneath the surface, not just at the accusations, but at the complete disregard for Satoru's sacrifices. If anything, he’s just as angry. But he knew better than to say anything. Especially knowing that you were angry. It was better at that point that someone was focused on remaining calm. Otherwise, it would be hellfire. And there was none needed, just after defeating the King of Curses. 

Yet, you both can’t help but feel how deeply it stings. It was ever so easy for everyone in your  world to just forget everything, to not acknowledge what your Satoru has done, reducing him to the villain, the perpetrator of the entire suffering of the Jujutsu world, just because he refused to follow an unjust order—to execute Yuji Itadori, a child caught in forces far beyond his control. 

Just because he could not stop powerful curses and cursed users from doing things that your husband would not have had any knowledge about. Your husband couldn’t have predicted thousand year old cursed users and their greed would do something like this to your world. How is it your husband’s fault, that the rot had gotten that deep in Jujutsu society either? 

You glance at Satoru’s pale face, his breathing still slightly labored. The hurt in your chest deepens, anger mixing with a fierce protectiveness. How could they not see what he’s gone through, what he continues to endure for the sake of others? All you can think is how none of them truly understand what it means to stand at his side, to witness the toll this cursed world takes on him every single day.

The quiet hum of the room feels suffocating, the weight of your frustration finally spilling over. You turn to Satoru, your voice sharp, but layered with concern. You just can’t help it, when it comes to him. You were always so protective of him, even all those years ago. Because if you would not do it, who would? Who would take his side and give such devotion, as equal as his own? Your husband isn’t the type to explain himself, nor is he someone that would let anyone know what he truly feels. He doesn’t think he has to. He does not care.

“They have no right, my love.” you say, trying to keep your voice steady but failing. “After everything you’ve done, everything you’ve given—how dare they blame you?”

Satoru doesn’t look at you, his bright blue eyes half-lidded, fixed somewhere distant. His signature smirk is missing, replaced by an unfamiliar stillness. “It’s not surprising, baby.” he mutters, voice barely above a whisper. “They always need someone to blame. KIlling the higher ups is just a step. The rot still exists from some people’s thinking, you know?”

“But it shouldn’t be you.” you snap, louder this time. You catch Megumi shifting slightly in his spot, his expression unreadable, though the tension in his stance suggests he’s just as frustrated as you are. “You know you aren’t to blame for their ills.”

“They want things to stay the same, Gen–san.” Megumi finally speaks up, his tone controlled but edged with bitterness. “Blaming Gojo-sensei is easier than facing their own failures.”

You clench your fists. “They forget that he’s human. That you—” Your words choke off. You can’t bring yourself to say it. It feels like admitting too much. “It’s just not right.”

Satoru lets out a breath, a soft chuckle following it. “I don’t care what they think. I did what I believed in. I wasn’t going to kill Yuji. He deserves better than that. And... he’s a kid. Just like ‘gumi. I don’t... I don’t have the heart to... you know what I mean.”

His voice falters slightly at the end, and you catch something in his expression that makes your chest tighten. It's rare for Satoru to let his guard down like this, to even hint at the weight he carries, but you can see it now—just for a second, the flicker of doubt, the exhaustion behind those sharp blue eyes.

“You did the right thing,” you say, your voice softer now, though the anger still simmers beneath. “Yuji’s not a tool to be discarded. He’s just a boy.”

Satoru nods, his gaze distant. “Yeah, a boy thrown into the worst situation imaginable. Just like ‘gumi was. Like Yuta was. I couldn’t... I wouldn’t make him pay for their mistakes. I’ve seen what this world does to people like him.”

There’s a heaviness in his words, the unspoken memories of everything he’s witnessed, everything he’s tried to protect the kids from. You know how much it eats at him—how deeply he cares, even if he hides it behind his usual bravado. And as much as he pretends to shrug it off, the toll is evident in moments like this, when his façade cracks ever so slightly.

You step closer, unable to keep the frustration out of your voice. "And you deserve better than this," you retort quickly, anger flaring in your chest again. "You’ve given them everything, and they give nothing back. They act like you’re just another tool for them to use, like you don’t have a heart. And I’m just so angry….”

Satoru finally turns his head, the faintest glimmer of his usual self creeping into his eyes as he looks at you. “Hey, baby.” he says softly, his voice gentler now. “You know I’m not doing this for their thanks. I’m doing it for the kids, for you. For Satoshi. So we’ll be happy.”

You blink, trying to swallow the anger that lingers. “I know that.” you say quietly. “But I can’t stand watching them tear you apart.”

Megumi walks closer, his arms still crossed, a firm resolve in his expression. “We won’t let them, Gen–san. Don’t worry.”

Satoru chuckles again, the sound a little lighter this time. “You two…huh…” He looks between you and Megumi, his tired eyes softening. “Always so serious. So Zen’in, the two of you. Stop frowning. You’ll end up with wrinkles. Believe me, it’s fine. They’ll come around. And if they don’t—well, it’s not the first time I’ve pissed off people, you know?”

His attempt at humor falls flat, the usual brightness behind his words missing. But the effort doesn’t go unnoticed—it tugs at your heart, a bittersweet reminder of how hard Satoru tries to keep things light, even when the world around him is anything but. You can see it in the subtle shift of his shoulders, the slight downward tilt of his head. He’s tired, more than he’ll ever admit, and though he brushes it off with a smile or a joke, the weight of it all is still there—quiet, invisible, but crushing.

Despite everything—despite the accusations, the blame, the endless expectations placed on him—Satoru is still trying to carry the burden alone. It’s always been like this with him, hasn’t it? He wears his strength like armor, his humor like a shield, always standing tall so no one else has to bear the load. But in moments like this, when his defenses slip just a little, you can see the cracks. And it breaks your heart.

You reach out, your movements slow and deliberate, as if any sudden gesture might make him retreat back into that impenetrable shell of his. Your hand finds his, and you gently intertwine your fingers with his, grounding both of you in the simple connection. He doesn’t pull away; instead, he lets out a soft breath, the tension in his body loosening ever so slightly.

“Satoru,” you whisper, your voice barely above a breath, “you don’t have to carry this alone. You know that, right?”

For a moment, he doesn’t say anything. He just looks at your hands, your fingers laced together, and there’s something raw in his expression—something vulnerable that he usually hides behind that ever-present grin.

“I know,” he finally says, his voice quieter than usual. “But sometimes... it’s hard to let anyone else help. I’m used to being the one who fixes things.”

You squeeze his hand a little tighter, your heart aching at the quiet admission. “You don’t always have to be the one to fix everything. You’ve done more than enough.”

He meets your gaze then, his eyes soft but still carrying the weight of someone who’s been fighting battles far too long on his own. “I’m not so sure about that,” he murmurs, his voice tinged with a rare uncertainty.

You hold his gaze, refusing to let him retreat. “You have. And you don’t have to keep proving yourself, especially not to those people. Let us help you. Let me help you.”

For a moment, Satoru just looks at you, as if he’s weighing your words, letting them sink in. And then, slowly, he nods. It’s small, but it’s a start—a sign that maybe, just maybe, he’ll let you share the weight of the world that’s been pressing down on him for so long.

“They don’t deserve you, my love.” you say, quieter now but no less fierce.

Satoru squeezes your hand lightly, a soft smile finally breaking through the exhaustion on his face. "Maybe not. But you’re stuck with me. Because you deserve me. Like I deserve you."

You hold his hand a little tighter, your gaze softening despite the frustration still simmering beneath the surface. "And I wouldn't have it any other way,my love." you murmur, your voice a little steadier now. Satoru’s warmth is a quiet reassurance, but the sight of him like this—so worn down, so unfairly burdened—fuels the anger you can’t entirely let go of.

Megumi stays quiet for a moment, watching the two of you before finally speaking again. “They won’t stop, all of this.” he says, his voice firm. “They’ll keep pushing this, won’t they? Trying to make him the scapegoat.”

Satoru shrugs, his usual bravado creeping back. “Let them try. I’m not exactly easy to get rid of. Living after all that is proof enough.”

You frown, your frustration bubbling up again. "You shouldn't have to keep proving yourself to them, Satoru. You’ve already sacrificed so much, and they act like none of it matters."

He looks at you with those pale blue eyes that somehow always manage to soften, just for you. “What do you want me to do? Step aside and let them tear down everything I’ve built? Everything you, me, and the students have worked for?”

“No, my love.” you say firmly. “But I don’t want you to bear all this alone. You’ve already done more than anyone could’ve asked for.” You pause, the words catching in your throat before you add quietly, “I just want them to think of you, for once. Not what they want from you.”

Megumi nods in agreement, stepping closer. “They’re too busy looking for someone to blame. And they’ll keep at it until they find a way to pin everything on you.” His blue - green eyes darken slightly, a shadow of his own frustrations showing. “But we won’t let them.”

Satoru sighs, though there’s a flicker of pride in his gaze as he looks at Megumi. “You’ve grown up, Megumi.” 

Megumi raises an eyebrow, his expression flat. “I’m not a kid anymore.”

Satoru chuckles softly, but the sound is laced with exhaustion. “No, you’re not. But you always will be to me, kiddo. And I’m glad I’ve got you two watching my back.” He looks at you again, the smile fading as he speaks more seriously. “But don’t let this consume you. I’ll be fine. They can push, they can complain, but I’ll keep doing what I know is right.”

Your heart aches at his words. His strength is undeniable, but it’s the toll that worries you most. You lean forward, your voice quiet but firm. “We’ll face them together. You’re not alone in this, Satoru. Not anymore. We’re here.”

His eyes soften even more, the weight of your words sinking in. “I know,” he whispers, squeezing your hand gently. “And that’s what makes it worth it.”

For a moment, the anger subsides, replaced by a quiet resolve between the three of you. You won’t let them tear him down. Not while you’re by his side. Not while Megumi is standing strong. Together, you’ll face whatever comes next.

epilogue

Satoru holds your hand for a beat longer, the weight of the conversation lingering in the air. But then, in true Gojo Satoru fashion, the somber mood shifts as his signature grin makes a slow return now that you both were finally alone..

“You know, baby....” he says, tilting his head and giving you a playful look. “You’re always swooping in to save me. My knight in shining armor.”

Your eyes widen slightly, caught off guard by the sudden change in tone. “What? I—” You open your mouth to protest, but the words stumble over themselves, not quite landing the way you want.

He leans closer, that mischievous gleam in his eyes growing brighter. “Oh yeah, always protecting me from the big, bad sorcerer world. It’s cute, really.”

You feel heat creeping up your neck, spreading quickly to your cheeks. “Satoru, that’s not—”

“What?” he interrupts, his smirk widening as he watches your flustered expression with clear amusement. “I think it’s sweet. I mean, look at you, always worrying about little ol’ me.”

“Little?!” you sputter, trying to keep your composure as he grins down at you. “You’re the most powerful sorcerer alive, you don’t need saving—”

“And yet, and yet!” he drawls, leaning in even closer, his voice low and teasing,.“Here you are, my personal knight in shining armor. Should I start calling you ‘Sir Baby’?”

Your face is on fire now, and you smack his arm lightly. “Satoru, stop!”

He laughs, the sound light and full of mischief, clearly enjoying your reaction. “Oh, come on. Admit it—you like being my hero.”

You narrow your eyes, trying desperately to compose yourself, but the smile tugging at your lips betrays you. “I’m not your hero,” you mutter, though the words come out far less convincing than you’d intended.

Satoru’s grin softens into something more genuine as he leans back, still holding your hand. “Maybe not. But I wouldn’t mind being rescued by you a little more often.”

You blink, caught between the teasing and the sincerity in his voice. “Satoru…”

He winks at you, breaking the moment with a playful shrug. “What can I say? I like having you around. Blushing and all.”

You groan, turning away slightly, but the smile on your face is impossible to hide. “You’re impossible.”

“And you love it, don't you?” he replies, completely unfazed, that cheeky grin never leaving his face.

And, despite everything, you can’t help but laugh. “Unfortunately, I do.”

[fatallyaddictedtofiction]

Stuff I know/assume from hearing my friend talk about fhjy (and the others)

Baron's father is always Stark

Kristen has religious trauma

beesbees is the best ship name ever

the rat girl died (this is a bad thing, she healed the rats)

the rat grinders. What do they do? Sharpen them like swords?

Adaine has ladle trauma and is working in a ladle-ridden environment

Adaine and Aelwyn are recently healthier and i have been told moments that have made me cry ("shes just a baby" i probably misquoted that but anyway)

Riz keeps getting shipped even though he's canonically on the ace spectrum (pls correct me if im wrong lmao)

s h r i m p j u m p

the ex-addict is the best father figure

time travelling autistic girlfriend leaves ancient presents for the other girlfriend who goes to no classes ever

fabians grandfather cant pronounce at least 2 of fabians friends names

gilear is pathetic and thats why we love him

everyone is "related" because their parents have all dated each other

apart from the adoptive parents of gorgug

nude gnome party? my chemical gnomance? im not going to mention the lawnmower-

If I remember any more I'll add to this list :)

@alfredoalfredoalfredo did i forget anything important?

[shutupineedtothink]

I’m still s h o o k that people do not see exactly what’s going on with Moiraine throughout s2 and people are dragging her and dismissing her without an ounce of empathy for what she’s been through, so I’m bringing the full character analysis for y’all (and my own sanity). So this is a big ol in defense of Moiraine (and Lan) rant, so if that’s not your thing, scroll down now. Here we go.

I just… The AUDACITY some people have to look at Moiraine and be angry and pissed off at how she acts in S2. To not feel any sympathy and empathy for her and the monumental weight she’s under every goddamn day. There’s a reason we start with that bath scene in 2x01 – it shows you everything. How she’s just going through the motions. How she only lets herself cry when she’s alone in the water. How she literally curls into the fetal position and looks reproachfully devastated over her knees as she hugs them to her chest in a futile attempt at comfort. Not to mention the direct comparison/callback with the bath scene in 1x01, where she has both her power and Lan still, and now she’s lost her connection to both of them.

How is it not painfully obvious that every interaction she has after that bath scene is infused with a trauma response? Let’s tally up the devastation she’s been through. At the end of S1, she was 1. banished from the sisterhood of the white tower (they literally turned their backs on her), 2. was separated AGAIN from the love of her life fully expecting to never see her again, 3. was cut off from the other love of her life (that would be Lan, for the record) which is all the worse bc it’s her own fault for masking the bond, 4. was fully made to believe she’s been stilled from the one power aka an integral part of her being, AND 5. she’s “failed” her mission at the eye of the world – the one goal she’s had for the last 20 years, her life’s purpose – because instead of locking away the dark one she’s directly caused Rand to set Ishamael free.

You don’t think it's justified to be a little pissed off and standoffish after all of that? You don’t think the weight of that guilt, grief, pain, and loss is a reasonable cause to be distant, cold, harsh, having a little bit of a death wish? That’s TRAUMA, baby! She is absolutely wrecked, and it’s coming out in the worst way in her interactions with others (especially Lan because we’ve seen how they should be), but it’s absolutely not because she actively wants to hurt the people around her. In fact after almost every moment she lashes out at someone, we see an equally sad/grief-stricken/devastated moment from her and THAT’S the real emotion hiding underneath the anger. This woman needs therapy and understanding and patience, and does not deserve to be judged at the worst time of her life.

Ok fine, you say, but Lan IS patient and understanding with her! And she’s still an asshole to him! You’re right, Lan is absolutely trying his best and doing just about everything he can to be there for her in 2x01/2x02 (with a little help from Verin and Tomas). But 1. It’s STILL not about him, Moiraine is not obligated to respond in a certain way to her grief and pain that makes him feel better, and 2. This is Moiraine goddamn Damodred and even her trauma response is also a front to protect him, to push him away from her and what is now certainly a suicide mission to fight the dark without her powers.

This is SOOO important to really get Moiraine’s character — y’all gotta understand this: Moiraine truly loves only TWO people on the whole fucking planet: Siuan and Lan. They are also the only people who truly love her, unconditionally, with all of her flaws and imperfections. Please please ingrain that into your brain, especially for Lan, in this context. (Siuan is a whole other conversation I won’t get into at the moment.) Moiraine loves Lan, he loves her, deeply. That’s the foundation of everything they go through with each other in this season, despite what’s happening on the surface.

Once you accept that as fundamental truth, everything makes a whole lot more sense. She is a dick to him to push him away. Literally tells him he failed her to put the final nail in the coffin of driving him away, which is his worst nightmare. On the surface it seems egotistic at best, plain cruel at worst. But look underneath. Moiraine always has reasons 2, 3, 6 layers deep for everything she does.

With everyone else she’s mean to this season, namely her sister and her nephew, it’s born out of distrust (and the aforementioned trauma response). She can’t afford to trust anyone because anyone could be a dark friend. (And if they’re not a dark friend, then they become a liability and endangered.) Anything she lets slip could be used to hurt/control Rand and push them all one step closer to eternal darkness. Oh and when we see Barthanes’ true nature that turns out to be fucking justified, by the way. But I digress.

Right so why is she an asshole to Lan then? Because she doesn’t trust him? I don’t believe that for a second. These two have been on the same page, literally sharing the same headspace, for the last 20 years – she knows he’s the best person she’s ever met, the least likely to ever turn to the dark, ever. It’s an actual impossibility. So it’s not that she doesn’t trust him. She literally marvels at how courageous he must be to fight the dark with only a sword.

The true reason is: she does trust him, she does love him, and she KNOWS him. She knows that he will never leave her like this, in her darkest hour. He is both honor-bound to her (which he takes very seriously) and deeply cares for her. The problem is that now his life is in serious danger by staying with her. But there is no calmly explaining to him that he should return to the white tower for his own good and bond to another aes sedai who can actually channel, who can actually hold up her end of the partnership and protect him and heal him in return for his loyalty and sacrifice. Or better yet, find Nynaeve, who is not only ridiculously powerful and has probably the best chance of protecting him out of anyone, but who also loves him.

If Moiraine loves him and wants him safe, the ONLY option she has to protect him, the one good thing left in her life even if their bond is masked, is to drive him away. To make it so that he’ll stay far away from her of his own free will, and never come after her and her suicide mission to defeat the dark. Because she has already lost everything, she has no control over her fate anymore (if she ever had any to begin with), but the ONE thing she can still try to do is keep him safe. And hopefully, maybe he’ll be happy, one day. Her reasoning is directly confirmed for us in the last thing she says to him in 2x02 before she leaves: “Light protect you, al’Lan Mandragoran.” That was her goal all along, to protect him.

That’s the true reason she’s Like That to him. It’s all out of her love for him, and a desperate desire not to drag him down with her when she’s sure she’s destined to die on this mission. Is her strategy misguided? On the one hand yes, because she does need people to help her and she needs to trust someone, as he points out. On the other hand, she’s absolutely fucking right because look what happened with the Fade fight at the end of 2x01. Both her and Lan would have died without Verin and Tomas, and it would have been because she couldn’t channel. He is factually, logically, physically better off without her as long as she’s “stilled.”

This is why it makes sense how Lan eventually responds the way he does. He initially sees right through what she’s trying to do, he literally says he won’t let her push him away. He knows her too, better than anyone, including Siuan at this point. But he isn’t expecting her to go as far as she does, and it shakes him to his core. She tells him he failed her, has his worst fears confirmed, and then hears the words “we were never equals” and hears that she thinks she’s better than him, when she means the exact opposite. Tomas tells him to really listen but he can’t, in that moment.

But then he gets some distance, and some perspective thanks to Ihvon and Maksim, and he remembers: he loves her. He believes in her and he knows her and he knows what she’s doing to push him away (although maybe not why, when it comes to protecting him, because he doesn’t see himself as someone who needs protecting). Even better, he realizes that her situation is actually not what she thinks, that she’s shielded not stilled, and he can do something about that.

I LOVE Lan in 2x07 because he’s got Moiraine’s number now, and he will not be swayed by any further attempts (rather weak attempts at this point) to lash out at him. He just takes all the shit she throws at him, and calmly asks her what he needs to know and tells her what she needs to hear (“hopefully everything we’ve lost” and “that’s what I thought” and “you need to trust someone, Moiraine”), and is truthful with her even if she is still putting on this act with him in her fear and grief. He isn’t having any of it, he sees straight through it to the fear and pain underneath. And he literally DECIDES they are going to be okay, and then he fucking. Follows. Through.

He is not a doormat to her rage, he is not her servant, he’s not going back to her with his tail between his legs. He SHOWS UP for her in her darkest hour, when NO ONE, not even Siuan, can see what’s going on with her. That’s a true friend, a true hero, and absolute king behavior.

In conclusion, Moiraine’s behavior in s2, while not cute, is totally justified given the trauma, circumstances and everything she’s dealing with (jfc the lack of sleep alone) and makes sense in light of her ultimate goal to protect the world, which includes protecting Lan. And Lan’s response, once he figures out what to do, is the absolute correct way to handle the situation and is not weakness at all but strength in the highest order.

I’m so glad we got the payoff of all that with their conversation in 2x08 and reconnecting the bond. It was so beautiful, so earned, and reminded us of the level they’re on with each other — which is a soul connection way beyond what any of us can imagine.

[tokillamockingbird427]

yes !!! exactly !!!! u do it get.

elias was like 23 when Hesh was born so like YOUNG and the military is def all he knew. I think the walkers are probably a military family. I can just imagine the brothers grandfather telling them abt The War and hesh is super into it and Logan's eyes are glazing over bcs hes 5 and doesn't know jack abt shit. point being elias treats them closer to soldiers/war dogs (side note do you think elias had to use one of those baby leashes for them?) despite loving them. he's trying he just wasn't prepared for any of that.

also yes I am an autistic logan bpd/attachment anxitey hesh and elias/rorke (worke, if you will) truther

-angel

Yay I get things!!!! :D I'm literate!!

Oh yeah, that's the vibe I get too. Hesh and Logan seem like they'd be such brats lol. Makes me wonder if maybe Mrs. Walker was military too? Maybe that's how she and Elias met.

"doesn't know jack abt shit" adopting that into my lexicon.

He absolutely had those fucking leashes for them but they were like the backpack harness kind and Elias only needed one (That was styled to look like a lil chimp hugging the wearer.) because Logan would follow David no matter what so all he needed to do was leash his oldest. Boom. Solved.

Mans really wasn't ready given he's like... Barely an adult by the time he has two damn kids and THEN Sand Viper trauma and THENNNNNNN his wife also dies so now he's a single dad. Mans had it rough. AND THEN ODIN COMES IN WITH A STEEL CHAIR-

Oh we 🤝 LISTEN THEY HAD TO HAVE S O M E T H I N G alright. You mfs who've read Devil's Breath know this; What other explanation is there for the few sane moments Rorke has in the pit being "Elias Elias Elias Elias Elias Elias-" Like there's some codependant hero worship right there we should talk about HEAR ME OUT--

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Can I request an Aaron Hotchner x autistic!daughter young adult ideally but any age. Or even she’s on the team and he’s a father figure to her because her own is so ableist. My dad is so ableist and I have so much autistic trauma from him even though my autism is from him too. He thinks that gives him even more rights to say whatever he wants to me and bully me even more. I just need to know what it feels like to have a good dad who cares about my autism. Who cares about me ❤️❤️

Aaron Hotchner x Autistic! Young adult reader

Of course I can, I'm sorry you have to deal with that, my parents have trouble understanding my Autism as well but they are getting better. I will write this for you!

Summary: Y/Ns ableist Dad comes to the BAU and starts being an Ableist arsehole to his daughter, her father figure (Hotch) steps in and saves her.

Third Person pov...

It had been 3 years since Y/N L/N joined the BAU, she was 21 when she joined and instantly became the baby of the team and Hotch became her Dad, Y/N is autistic and has sensory issues.

Ever since she was little her father was ablest and would bully her and verbally abuse her saying how her being Autistic meant something was wrong with her and that she needed fixing, the man caused her to have so many meltdowns and sensory overloads that it made others concerned her teachers as school.

He was later arrested for child abuse and was sent to prison, Y/N was then left with her neighbours who were a nice loving family and always liked her but hated her dad and were glad she got away from him after suffering for years, her Mum was out of the picture.

The young girl had so much trauma from her childhood when she joined the BAU that Hotch became her father figure, their relationship helped mend Y/Ns trauma from her bio dad and she was able to live comfortably knowing he wasnt in her life anymore, she was treated with respect and was always told that her autism wasn't a bad thing.

From being with Penelope and Spencer (who are also Autistic) her relationship with her Autism was mended and she was able to be herself, while with her dad she could stim or doing anything 'autistic' but with her new found family she was free to stim and had all her accomedations, if anyone disrespected her or called her weird they would have to deal with an angry Hotch and the rest of the team.

It was a normal day for the team, they weren’t on a case and for once they all got to relax and fill out paperwork, well aside from Hotch and Spencer no one was doing any paperwork, Derek and Emily were sat giggling loudly like children as they kept throwing rolled up pieces of paper at their second youngest member.

The laughter increased as they kept hitting their mark, Spencers head, the genius was none the wiser as a pile of paper was forming around him at their many failed attempts. From the side JJ and Penelope sit and watch as Spencer doesn't realise, opposite the genius sat Y/N she was busy spinning in her chair with her headphones on and watching the scene play out.

She had the perfect poker face for when a paper ball hit Spencer's head, as the children in the bull pen play the two adults Hotch and Rossi where actually getting work done, , well Hotch was at least the Italian was drinking and watching the kids outside keeping an eye on them as someone responsible needed too.

As Y/N continued to spin around her in chair she didn’t hear the heavy footsteps off someone walking up behind her, the H/C woman was suddenly yanked off her chair and onto the hard floor by a man, in the process of being manhandled her headphones when flying off her head.

“What did I tall ya about doing that Girl!” exclaimed a voice that haunted her nightmares, gasping in terror Y/N stared frozen at her Father who was suppose to be in prison, the large man had a sickening grin on his face as he saw the terror in his daughter eyes.

“Yes its me!” he laughed that horrible laugh that had Y/N holding her hands overs her ears, the 21 year old was still frozen on the floor while the others were staring at the scene before them guns raised, by this time Hotch and Rossi had heard what happened and were out of their offices.

“bu-but your supposed to be in jail!” exclaimed Y/N finally finding her voice stuttering, the man looked down at her crumpled form, he then grabbed the front of her blouse pulling his daughter close. “they let me out for good behaviour, did ya miss me!” he semi whispered as Y/Ns face grew a sickening pale white, she scrambled to get away but the man wouldn’t let go instead he raised his hand and slapped her.

Y/N cried out in pain. “you really didn’t think I could be held for long did ya you retard! You really are still a fucked in the head as you were years ago” yelled the man, Hotch had had enough, he rain down thw ramp arms raised, gun in his hands. “Get your hands on hr now, you do realise you just assaulted a federal agent” growled out Hotch as the man teared his eyes away from the shivering form of his daughter.

He spat at Hotch. “your not her father I am, this waste of space in am Agent HA!”!” he laughed again and kicked Y/N hard in the ribs, Penelope gasps tears in her eyes as she witnesses her friend get beaten. Y/N holds in her cries of pain and raises her head from the floor glaring at the man.

“your not my dad you never have been!” she cried tears rolling down her face, the sadistic man smirked at the tears rolling down his daughters face, the sight reminding off when she was a kid and he would verbally abuse her, he had never hit her before now, it felt good.

Her words made him angry. “I am your father retard, though I hate to admit it you share my blood, your as stupid as I remember crying on the floor like the child you are to stupid to do what I say” he goes on on berating Y/N and saying how stupid she was once again verbally abusing her, as he went on his rant Y/N managed to stand up.

She was then pulled behind Hotch, his finger close to pulling the trigger. “you Bastard, you shut the fuck up now, you have crossed the line now get out of my building and away from my Daughter before I pump your body full of bullets!” yelled Hotch threw clenched teeth, he was so close to pulling the trigger instead he stormed up so he was chest to chest with the man and pulled back his fist.

When he lets go his right hand connected with the nose he was satisfied to feel it shatter, a smirk on his face before gesturing to a couple of agents. “now don’t ever come back or I will kill you” Hotches hand was burning but he felt satisfied when Y/Ns Dad freeze before he tsked and stormed out not before calling Y/N the R slur before he was detained by two agents ans forced into handcuffs.

Hotch crossed his arms before turning around to hug Y/N was had collapsed, the stress from her dad coming in draining her, she was then sat at her desk with Hotch hovering around her looking at her injuries, E/C eyes locked on his brown ones.

“Im your daughter” she whispers hoarsely, this made Hotch smile and run his hand through her hair. “of course, you are sweetie” he smiled softly kissing her forehead still smiling when she smiles back.

The end!!

Hoped you liked this oneshot so sorry for the wait! As usual sorry for the grammar and spelling mistake!

Requests are open!

Word count: 1366

[buckevantommy]

1. raceway (cars) 2. time travel au

"Jesus—" Tommy braces one hand against the dash, the other grabbing the oh-shit handle. "You wanna slow it down, kid? This isn't a racetrack."

The kid - Evan - doesn't slow down. He's been gunning it since he pulled up outside the 217 and fed Tommy some line about Howie being in trouble. Chimney, he called him, and there was no time to explain why or what exactly was going on as Evan was laser-focused on weaving them through several blocks of traffic until they made it to the freeway. He still doesn't slow down, but at least there's less chance of them ending up as crash victims with fewer cars around.

"What the hell is going on? What happened to Howie?"

"Oh. H-he's fine." Evan glances over at him, baby blues wide and worried. "I-I'm sorry I lied, but— it was the only way to get you in the car."

Tommy tenses. He's not really one for action-thrillers or horror-mysteries, they were always more Howie's wheelhouse. But he can recognise a dangerous B-plot when he's in one. "Who are you?"

"Evan Buckley. I-I work at the 118 with Chim— Howard Han. And, um." He takes a steadying breath. "I know you, Tommy. I've known you for years."

"I don't know you." Great. Has he got himself a goddamned stalker? Doesn't matter how objectively cute the guy is, this whole situation is concerning. Discreetly, he thumbs for his phone in his pocket.

"Yeah, that's 'cos. Um." Flexing his hands on the wheel, Evan casts a wary look at Tommy, like Tommy is the one to be worried about right now. "Look, I-I know this is gonna sound crazy— I thought it was crazy too, at first, like another fucked up coma dream."

Another? Maybe Evan's behaviour has been brought on by brain trauma.

"But it's not. I don't know how, but this morning I woke up almost ten years in the past— in the body of my younger self, years before we meet, s-so. You don't know me."

Maybe they should pay Howie a visit. He's a medic and someone they obviously have in common so Evan will hopefully trust him to assess his mental state. Or at least he could offer his breadth of movie knowledge for the whole time travel angle.

"Let's stick with 'unlikely', and go from there." Tommy knows enough to keep things calm. "You wanna tell me why you're driving like a madman through L.A. traffic?" And why you kidnapped me. Tommy's grip tightens on the handle above him.

Evan gives an indignant huff. "I'm just— I'm trying to save your life."

Tommy lets that sink in. This guy, who claims to be a firefighter at his old house where he works with one of the best in the field, defends his actions by claiming to be doing his job, essentially. Even if his reasoning is muddled, his intentions may be pure. But all things considered, why zero in on Tommy? "Why would you do that?"

"Because."

Tommy watches the bob of Evan's throat as he swallows.

"I love you."

doing this thing

[elialys]

Per your lovely, lovely flawed show tag, I am curious what you think the flaws of Fringe are?

I’m sorry it took me so long to answer, I got distracted!

Fringe definitely had its share of flaws. I won’t even address the ones that can “be excused” by the fact that it was a show made before/early 2010s in terms of representations/inclusions, because you know, it is what it is.

I think my biggest ‘regret’/annoyance has always been the writers’ tendency to…shove traumas under a rug, or to not properly (if at all) talk about the consequences of some events that happened. I get that they had to make the characters go through a lot of drama because that’s the point of stories, especially on TV shows that have over 20 episodes per season, but the characters suffered through some terrible stuff time and time again, and they were just FINE. And it’s not like they didn’t know how to do it!

I’ve always loved the first few episodes of season 2 because they showed recovery. Olivia had a bad car accident, then she had to kill “Charlie”, and it took her time to get better from all of that, not just physically but emotionally, too. And yet, over and over again after that, she goes through horrible things and there’s…almost nothing? Like, I adore Marionette, I think it’s a brilliant episode through & through, but I still can’t believe Olivia went through all the shit she went through Over There (and coming back) and didn’t have some serious PTSD, on top of EVERYTHING ELSE she’d already gone through (aka why I wrote Shivered Bones). Peter too was barely allowed to mention what Walter did to him after he came back at the end of season 2, barely ever allowed to mention what Altlivia did to him either, except in some awkward bits of dialogue (I will discuss Peter’s character a bit more later).

Also, the whole REWRITING THE TIMELINE at the end of season 3?? Biggest cop-out. I mean, I’ve never hid the fact that any kind of ‘amnesia’ plot is honestly one of my LEAST favorite tropes, in anything. From the moment that season started airing and Peter reappeared being a complete stranger, I just disliked that so much on principle. But what will always pain me is how by doing so, the writers completely erased not just Peter but THE FIRST THREE SEASONS.

Like, poof, gone.

(adding a 'keep reading' because this is long 😂)

Conveniently, it erased Baby!Henry in the process, which the writers might have felt would be too much of an issue? Personally I would have loved to see that unfold. I know I’ve discussed this before on this blog, probably more than once, but they could have kept SO MUCH of season 4 the way it was, as far as the Bridge was concerned, could have come up with a brand new Vilain to do all the “NEW UNIVERSE” stuff Bell/Jones tried to do, while our core characters had to deal with the consequences of everything that happened in season 3 (including Peter being a dad, WITHOUT trying to force a stupid ‘love triangle’ down our throats, thank you). It would have made for great, impactful family drama, because who are we kidding. Anyone who loves Fringe typically loves it because it is such an emotional, family drama. So yes, I will forever mourn the universe(s) we had season 1-3, and endlessly daydream about what could have been.

Now let me talk about Peter Bishop, it’s been a hot minute. Peter Bishop, who was hated basically the entire time the show was airing, and still now is strongly disliked by a lot of viewers, and honestly, I can’t blame them? I’ve had over a decade to analyze his character, have spent hundreds of hours writing stories from his POV, explaining his traumas & mistakes, have written giant meta posts about him back in the days to explain his behavior, so I’m not exactly objective, but I’m also very honest about how flawed his character is. Not (just) as a human being, which is normal because humans are flawed. I mean, he’s flawed in the way the writers used him/wrote him.

He’s probably the most inconsistent of all the characters. He’s the character who suffered the most from the ‘let’s make this person act out a certain way to make sure it fits our plot’ syndrome.  I will never forgive the writers for how…clueless (for lack of a better word), they wrote Peter in early season 3 during the Switch. Yes, Peter was traumatized as a kid, yes he was in love, yes yes, I know all of that, I’ve written endlessly about it to explain his cluelessness so I know.

Still, Peter should have figured it out. Peter as we saw him in season 1 and 2, especially second half of season 2, would have figured out. He figured out BY HIMSELF that he was from another universe, ‘just’ from his dad and Olivia’s weird behaviors and the fact that he didn’t go ‘POOF’ on that bridge in 2x18. Peter went to another universe, he met Olivia’s alternate. He’d just spent weeks running from his life, trying to accept the fact that he was lied to all of his life. At best, he was suspicious, at worst, he was paranoid (as was mentioned in 2x20 in Northwest Passage). Literally 3 days after he gets to THAT OTHER UNIVERSE, and 3 hours after meeting Olivia’s doppelganger, Olivia ‘I hide from my own emotions’ Dunham comes tell him he belongs with her and smooches him, so he goes home. Yet the writers want me to believe Peter would not have still been reeling from EVERYTHING that just happened in his life, and not be a bit on edge?

Like, ‘damn, the woman I love and have come to know quite well these past 2 years is suddenly SO DIFFERENT? ALMOST LIKE SHE’S ANOTHER PERSON? A BIT LIKE THAT ALTERNATE VERSION OF HER I MET 48H AGO, THAT’S NOT A COINCIDENCE AT ALL’. But nope, Peter just accepts it, EVERY CHARACTER on that side just accepts it, when Lincoln and Charlie keep on looking at our Olivia like “Is this chick for real? WHAT IF THEY SWITCHED THEM?”

I’m forever frustrated. It just doesn’t feel believable to me, never has. It feels like the writers went “we want everyone, and especially Peter, to be clueless the entire time so we can write our drama the way we planned it.” And that’s a shame, honestly, because that whole damn arc is already so good as it is. But it would been even better if Peter HAD figured it out, if he’d kept on pretending for a bit, if HE’D conned Altlivia the way she conned him. Like I mentioned before, Olivia already went through so much trauma during the Switch, they could have found ways to make her miserable upon coming back, without Peter having slept with her alternate for a few weeks—and the knowledge that he didn’t realize what was going on. More daydreaming on my part about what could have been.

I could go on when it comes to the way they wrote Peter honestly. The whole “maybe Peter has feelings for the other Olivia” crap in the second half of s3, and “the universe that will survive depends on which Olivia Peter chooses”, excuse me??? Altlivia basically abused him??? She used him in so many ways, including sexually. She wasn’t even herself, she was pretending, playing him the whole time. HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO HAVE FEELINGS EXCEPT A LOT OF SELF-LOATHING AND MORE UNRESOLVED TRAUMA?

Anyway, I think you get my vibe and why I’ll forever be sad/mad about this. As a writer & storyteller myself, one of my strengths and favorite aspects of writing is figuring out the characters’ motivations, what drives them, and how it makes them behave. Peter’s character is just…wobbly, during those arcs. He’s inconsistent from plotline to plotline, and it feels off to me. He’s a lot more true and consistent to how I understand him in season 4, but in season 3, he’s a hot mess, meant as a plot device more than anything else, and that makes me sad. Characters are what drive stories and shape the plot, not the other way around. So yeah, I don’t blame people for always having such strong opinions/dislikes where Peter is concerned.

I could come up with more things, but this is already long enough 😂 In case that wasn’t clear, those flaws don’t stop me from having the deepest love for this show. What it did well, it did extremely well, and even all those years later, I still cry rewatching it, because the emotions were real. They're still real.

Plus it gave me Olivia Dunham, so really, it wins just for that.

[c-t-r-l14]

A RETROSPECTIVE, A REFLECTION, AND YES, ANOTHER DAMN ALEX RANT.

What I find the most amusing is the fact that Saku likes my rants about Alex.

At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if ya’ll know me as, “That One Girl Who Despises Alex”, because I write about how mad he makes me, and have MULTIPLE RANTS about how much I dislike him and his gaslighting, excuse-making, manipulative, no-backbone having, crybaby bitch ass.

Like—I be jumping Alex, reading his ass for filth, and be downright destroying him and Saku reads it and is like “Lmao, good stuff”, and LIKES THE DAMN RANTS.

It’s really crazy because at first, I was really scared about posting my first ever rant about him, because before people saw just how immature Alex was being in the breakup audio, a lot of people were jumping listener in the comments and talking about how it was their fault that this happened in the first place. Now, listener is definitely NOT a saint, at all. Even though I sympathize with them, what they did was wrong—point BLANK. But the way their relationship ended wasn’t entirely their fault.

I remember reading the comments and there were some people who said, “Ugh, if listener just didn’t say anything at all, this would’ve never happened”, but that shit confuses me so much?? I do agree that they should’ve been more careful about their approach when it comes to confrontation, but if THIS is the way Alex reacts when Listener looses their cool and does something in the heat of the moment, who is to say that it wouldn’t happen at all? He was so damn quick to end a four year relationship over a mistake. He never put in any work to see why listener acted out that day. He never once tried to talk to them, he acknowledged the fact that they don’t usually act like this, made up stupidly flimsy excuses on why the relationship would supposedly would not work, said some out of pocket shit about them not being the right partner for a long distance relationship, AND THEN PROCEEDED TO GASLIGHT THEM into thinking that THEY were the crazy one for reacting to what he just said, tried to manipulate them into thinking that the reason why their relationship ended was all their fault, and tried to act like HE was the mature one by making the decision to end it in the first place—-

And you’re telling me you saw ALL OF THIS UNFOLD, and your first thought was, “Oh yeah, all of this is definitely listener’s fault. They had it coming, lmao. Good luck to Alex in the States.”

OH H E L L NO.

If he had been so quick to end his relationship of F O U R Y E A R S in a heartbeat over something he K N E W to be an out of character mistake, then what on God’s green Earth would make ya’ll think that he’d stick around had listener stayed silent???? Listener will make mistakes, and there will come a time when their emotions will get the best of them (as it does with all of us), and you guys really believe that Alex’s fickle, emotional whiplash having, “this would be good for us, we both wouldn’t be tied down anymore 🥺” headass would still stay then???

Because, HE W O U L D N ‘ T.

He saw the opportunity to leave, and he took it. He already had his mind made from the jump when he told his mother and father, his friends, his acquaintances, his ancestors—and the ENTIRE W O R L D that he was taking that NYC job and his partner was last to know. Listener—-his own goddamn partner—-was the only person he needed to get rid of. They were his “burden” to bear, and he wanted to rid himself of it. And he didn’t want to seem like the bad guy, so he made excuses to make the break up easier on himself, pushed the blame away from him, and cried like the little baby back bitch he is in order to make it seem like this was such a hard decision to come to. He disregarded listener’s feelings, disregarded them as a whole, disrespected them, and left them with (probably) more trauma then what they started with.

I am sick and tired of seeing people blame the listener for everything that happened. They did not deserve the way they were broken up with at all. Alex isn’t a victim. He never was—and he stopped being the “mature one” (if you can even call it that) the moment those dumbass excuses came out of his slimy mouth.

For the people who were saying, “Alex deserves better than listener! I hope he finds a new partner.” Ya’ll need to realize that if this is how he acts when listener makes a mistake, he will do the absolute same thing with his future partners. He will give up the entire relationship and make an exit plan as soon as they do something even a little bit out of character. People who fold that easily and refuse to put effort in their relationship will NEVER KEEP IT. He will end up being single, and I know he’s the type of person who will never consider himself as a factor as to why his relationships all end in faliure because he has such a victim complex.

This man deserves absolutley nothing, ya’ll! NOTHING!

And I hope that one day, he realizes what he did was wrong, and apologizes to them. I will literally not be able to die peacefully if this doesn’t happen.

The craziest thing is that back in the olden days (four months ago), I would’ve been so scared to publish this whole rant, ya’ll. 😭 My dislike for Alex has been a hyper-fixation that held me in a massive chokehold—and I was honestly scared I was going to get hated on for not liking him (as well as my reasons for disliking him in the first place). But in the most strange turn of events, a lot of people share the same disdain I have for him too, and the comments on that break-up audio is now more critical toward Alex than it is toward listener, and these were both really big shocks to me. I’m really happy that a lot of people enjoy my rants, and even more happier (and surprised) to see Saku HIMSELF like my rant posts too.

Like literally ya’ll, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The love ya’ll leave for these rants are the reasons why I feel more and more confident to make them in the first place, and I appreciate it all very much.

So, here’s to next year, and to all the rants I’ll make in the future! And I hope we’ll all have a great year!

(Except for you, Alex. I hope your credit card declines when you try to pay for that $2.90 train fare and nobody opens the emergency door for you).

[safecore-puppy]

Hi (⁠◔⁠‿⁠◔⁠) I wanted to introduce myself to everyone!! So here's a little bit about me:

my grown up age is 28; my regressed age is about 7

I'm also a pet regressor .... I'm a lil puppy dog 🐶

I'm also a dragon! 🐲 sometimes I'm a lil baby dragon teehee

I'm trans and my pronouns are he/him!

I'm autistic 👽 and in real life I'm mostly nonverbal w/ flat affect

I'm a cane + wheelchair user! I have a cute yellow wheelchair + a cane w/ stickers UwU

I'm an involuntary regressor due to trauma + PTSD. My blog will be sfw only because it's above all a safe space.

My partner is also my caregiver; I call them "daddy" when I'm regressed. They help me curate this blog!

Those are the main fun facts! Below the read-more are my preferred pet names and some of my main plushie friends!

✿ m y ✿ p l u s h ✿ f r i e n d s ✿

Gumball - my blue build a bear bunny, and my main companion. I take him out with me sometimes, especially when I'm in my wheelchair (he has a carrier :3)

Spot - my first plushie who I've had since I was 8 months old. He's made of white terry cloth and has multiple patches and stitches + he's lost a lot of "beans".... He's very special to me and I still have him near me to this day!

Crona - my pink jellycat dragon. they're super soft and perfectly shaped for hugging; they snuggle with me in bed most nights!!

Arnold - my green build a bear frog. He's also strawberry scented! He's so huggable and is a very comforting presence; he likes to help by holding my switch or my phone for me at night.

Hornsby - a triceratops with long Velcro arms who lives on the arm of my wheelchair. He has accompanied me everywhere since I left the hospital, and is a comforting presence when I can't bring Gumball with me.

✿ r a n d o m ✿ p i c r e w s ✿

some of me and some of daddy UwU

[seldomscilence16]

Whumptober Day 15:

Childhood Trauma

Painful Hug | Moment of Clarity | “I did good, right?”

Fandom: Trolls

Day 31: Making amends

Alt. Regret, Time Loop

.

.

“I did good, right?”

A simple question, innocent and pleading, large eyes and trembling hands.

"I did good, right?”

Wet and tired, desperate in a way a child should never be.

"I did good, right?”

Warped grin and cocky lilt, a sharp look and cruel taunt.

Such a normal phrase, said so many times over his life, by himself, by others.

But not his brothers.

He had tried so hard, done everything he could to ensure his brothers never had a need to ask such a question.

Was he a good guardian further down the line? No. He knows he messed up, now more than ever. But he had still hoped to never hear that question from their lips.

“I… Did g-good ri-ight?”

His baby brother, so different from his memories, of that little trolling after their first practice together, looking up at him with wide blue pools, how JD had praised him before any question could leave his lips, had thrown him in the air and delighted in his giggles. The tiny baby brother that he swore to protect after everything, the one he left, with some asinine thought it was for his own good, was standing before him on wobbling legs.

Branch had saved them.

But at what cost?

They all rush forward as those legs falter, as trembling arms wrap around them, as teary eyes clash with a small smile and grunt of pain.

“S-sorry, I imagined o-our reunion hugs d-differently.”

“Ju-just lay still, where… whats..” Floyds hands flutter, each pain filled breath making them jump away.

“I… I missed you guys.” He coughs wetly, “I knew I wasn’t good enough to come back for. But I couldn’t stay away when you guys were in trouble.” There's a rasp to his words now, like something is pressing on his lungs and scratching at his throat.

But the words themselves hurt far worse than any torture.

“You are good enough. You are better than all of us combined.” Bruce vehemently objects, tears already streaking down his face.

“We… We’re the ones to blame B, not you, never you.” Clay is ashen where he supports Branch’s head, brushing hair from his baby brother's face gently.

He stares up at them with lidded eyes, that blue no longer bright and innocent, that teal no longer gracing his fur and brightening his cheeks. What had he been through? What had they done?

What had JD done?

Forced them all apart, separated the family, abandoned them all.

This was all John's fault. His Baby Brother could be dying, and it's all his fault.

“I’m so sorry B.” John whispers brokenly, “None of this should have happened. I’d take it all back if I could.”

“I don’t think I blame you guys anymore.” He whispers back, surprising them all, “I was angry… but, I don’t want to go angry.” He offers another sad smile, “I’m just glad I got to see you all again.”

“You’re not going anywhere! We’re gonna get help, you’re gonna be fine!” Floyd’s head whips around, trying to find anyone, but a hand grabs his own.

“~Here comes the sun…~” His voice is hoarse, like it hasn’t sung in some time, “~Here comes the sun, and I say…~”

“~It’s alright…~” John's own isn’t much different, he hadn’t felt the urge to sing in…

“~Little darlin’, it's been a long, cold, lonely winter~” Bruce joins in, a wobble to his voice as tears build further.

“Little darlin’, it feels like years since it's been here~” Clay’s voice is softer than they ever remember hearing it.

“~Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo~” Branch continues, eyes sliding over their faces one by one.

“~Here comes the sun, and I say, It's alright~” Floyd finally joins, stuffy nose making the notes come out froggy, but the sentiment is the same.

The brothers pick up the rest together, harmonizing and blending and taking the turns needed, like they had never split in the first place, never stopped singing for the fun of it.

“~Little darlin', the smile's returning to their faces

Little darlin', it seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun

Here comes the sun, and I say

It's alright

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes~” Branch’s voice fades with each word, until it's gone all together.

His eyes have slid closed, his breaths slow and shaky, and only getting worse, the brothers share teary looks over his head, their tones turning somber.

“~Little darlin', I feel that ice is slowly melting

Little darlin', it seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo

Here comes the sun, and I say

It's alright

Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo

Here comes the sun

It's alright

It's alright~”

Tear soaked cheeks, wet plops across the leaf vest and slack face. They could almost imagine he’s sleeping. Sobs fill the air, four brothers hunched over a fifth, agony filled cries, remorseful apologies, pleading prayers to whatever muses will listen.

It takes them a moment too long to notice anything changing. A glow around them, familiar and new at the same time. Branch disappears from beneath them, startled gasps and choked sobs as their heads whip around, a voice surrounding them.

"Remember and you just might heal.”

Flashes of light as they disappear one by one.

.

.

.

“Bitty B, what's ya thinkin’ bud?”

“Did I do good, Johnny?”

A hitch in his breathing, a stutter in his heart, he kneels before the 3 year old,

“You did amazing, Branch, I’m so proud of you.”

“We gonna stay together?”

“Yeah. You’re stuck with us.”

“...I like this time better.”

“Me too, me too.”

((Time loop route that I couldn't fit in without making this ten times longer:

Branch isn't mad at his brothers anymore because he's met so many versions of them and found love in each one's heart, healing something small each time. Branch doesn't get used to dying, he treats every time like it will be his last. He's woken up so many times back to the same day, he's lost count. A small grey trolling in a barely made bunker. He's seen the village die, by critter or bergen alike. He's seen the world of trolls beyond the forest and all that could come with it with the slightest change. But mostly, at some point, without fail, despite all the changes, his brothers are there. Finally, he decides to make them his focus, to see what life would be like. So he wakes up, a kid alone in a hole (bunker) and goes to leave. He finds a letter, his brothers in danger, he doesn't hesitate to go. But Branch is hit, mortally wounded. His brothers are safe. He feels no anger in his heart anymore. How could he hate them when he's seen how much they love and grieve and live. Whether he knows it's the last time or not, Branch doesn't want to go with any anger in his heart. That child inside of him that misses his brothers slowly heals as they join his song.))

[mononijikayu]

“i canʼt hold enough of you in my hands.” — gojo satoru.

His little fingers peeked out from the blanket, and you couldn’t resist the urge to gently stroke them, feeling their soft warmth. You looked at your husband, who let out a little laugh as you showed him your son’s little chubby fingers. There was much to love about your little dawn. If life had ever begun, it would be when your son was born. And Satoru believed that as much as you did — that’s for sure.

GENRE: post hidden - inventory arc (2010s)

WARNING/S: domesticity, fluff, family, comfort, angst, trauma, implied death, violence, romance, hurt/comfort, character death depiction of death, depictions of loss and depression, mention of pregnancy, depiction of the aftermath of birth, depiction of parenthood, depiction of blood, depiction of killing, depiction of suffering, depiction of anxiety, mention of death, mention of grief, profanity, family drama;

LISTEN: l'amore dice ciao (slow take) by armando trovajoli

NOTE: i knew i said i wasn't going to write more, but i ended up writing this because i ended the other one so sadly that i realized i needed something that was genuinely happy. so i did that. i'll be writing more within the next eleven days. but we'll see, depending on my schedule!!! i love you!!! enjoy <3

masterlist

u s and t h e m

IT WAS QUITE AN EXPERIENCE, BRINGING HOME A BABY IN YOUR HUMBLE ABODE. You had never expected to be so overprotective over anything in your entire life, especially not on a simple car ride. But here you were, cradling your most precious treasure in your arms, heart pounding with a mix of anxiety and overwhelming love. Your newborn son, Satoshi, nestled against your chest, was the very embodiment of fragility and new beginnings.

The car ride from the hospital to your home felt like an eternity. Every bump in the road, every sudden stop or start, sent a jolt of worry through you. You tightened your hold on Satoshi, making sure his tiny head was well-supported, his small body swaddled snugly in a soft blanket. The world outside seemed too chaotic, too unpredictable for someone so small and innocent.

Beside you, your husband, Gojo Satoru sat with his bright blue eyes fixed lovingly on the little bundle in your arms. His usual carefree demeanor was replaced by a focused intensity, every bit the protective father. 

He kept glancing between you, sleeping Satoshi, the road ahead, and Ichiji who seemed more tense than usual. Satoru’s tension could be felt from that far, you suppose. But you can’t fault your husband at all. His hand occasionally reaches over to rest reassuringly on your knee, as though it was to calm him and you simultaneously. 

“Are you okay, darling?” he asked softly, his voice a gentle caress.

You nodded, but the anxiety still lingered. “I’m just… it’s so surreal. He’s so tiny, so perfect. I want to make sure everything is perfect for him.”

Satoru’s cerulean eyes softened, and he reached over to brush a strand of hair from your face. “You’re already doing an amazing job. He’s lucky to have you as his mama, darling.”

Satoshi stirred slightly, making a small cooing sound that melted your heart. You looked down at his tiny face, marveling at his delicate features. He looked exactly like Satoru, that’s what his mother said. And you could definitely see it. His small mouth quirked joyously the way his father does. His white–silver locks were as tender and soft as Satoru's own. His chubby cheeks were warm too. And you were so in love. So entirely absorbed by your love for your son. 

His little fingers peeked out from the blanket, and you couldn’t resist the urge to gently stroke them, feeling their soft warmth. You looked at your husband, who let out a little laugh as you showed him your son’s little chubby fingers. There was much to love about your little dawn. If life had ever begun, it would be when your son was born. And Satoru believed that as much as you did — that’s for sure. 

The car pulled into the driveway of your little home, and Satoru quickly got out to open the door for you. He extended his hand to help you out, his touch steadying you as you carefully stepped onto the pavement. You whisper a thankful retort to your husband, who grinned at you and turned to Ichiji, who nearly jumped when Satoru thanked him genuinely. 

Satoru led the way as you walked into your home, his six-eyes trying to check for any changes in the house. When you both got in, it seemed safe enough but then again, Satoru led you to the nursery. Every inch of the nursery was built by your husband. He was excited about trying to make it as bright as possible, as colorful as possible and he had meticulously prepared in the weeks leading up to Satoshi’s birth. 

The quaint little room was better than you could have imagined it. Satoru had not wanted to show you anything until the baby arrived. It was a surprise for both you and your little boy. It was just a perfect little haven of soft pastels and gentle light. You were impressed with how it all blended together, how he had managed to put everything into a theme. But you knew that’s just how much your husband loves your son. Looking at him, you wondered how much more you could love this man, how much more love your heart can take for him.

“Did you do everything from scratch?” You whispered to him, mindful of your little boy. 

He hummed in reply. “But it’s not just me. ‘miki and ‘gumi both helped, y’know? I couldn’t have done it without them!”

You smiled when you heard that. When you told the two that you were expecting, it was a whirlwind.  Tsumiki was jumping up in joy, Megumi seemed stunned that there was to be a baby. You didn't expect Megumi to have a loud reaction, he was always more quiet. But you knew that overtime, he was just as excited as his elder sister. He showed that through his little acts, like asking about the baby, asking if you both needed anything. He was tender like that.

You wouldn’t say that your pregnancy was a dream. It was hard. You were nauseated all the time, you were crying day and night, you couldn’t keep food down. But your two little ones did what they could to help you out. Megumi knew that you couldn’t eat much, but he would make sure there was already hot tea and some slices of fruit you can eat for you to enjoy in the mornings.

Tsumiki made sure that she helped you out with some small tasks Satoru allowed you to do, that she could embrace you when you feel like crying about some little things. They were both wonderful with you throughout the pregnancy, they’ve always been wonderful to you since you met them. 

At this moment, you wanted to see them both. And you were sure they’d like to see you and the little one. But you knew that they won’t arrive until tomorrow. You were thankful that your mother took Megumi and Tsumiki with her until you could come home from the hospital.

You gently laid little Satoshi in his crib, tucking the blanket around him. Satoru stood beside you, his arm wrapped around your waist carefully. He lets out a small sigh as both of you watch as your son settles into his new environment. The room seemed to glow with a serene tranquility, the weight of the world momentarily lifted.

“He’s perfect, isn’t he?” Satoru whispered, his voice filled with awe.

You leaned against him, feeling the steady beat of his heart. “He is. And he’s ours.”

“Hm, he’ll always be.” He agrees, his hand tracing across the small of your back. “The kids will love him, I’m pretty sure.”

“Tsumiki will just gobble him up.” You laughed softly.

“And Megumi’s gonna be a bit flustered, ‘m sure.”

“Hey, he’s just a little shy! He’s trying.”

Satoru kissed the top of your head, his lips lingering as if trying to imprint the moment in his memory. “Hm, he is.”

“Thank you.” 

“What for, darling?”

You smile at him. “For giving me this lovely little life.”

He laughs, pressing a kiss against your shoulder. “Darling, if anything, I should be the one saying that, hm?”

“I love you.” You whispered against him, letting your hand trail against his free hand. “Genuinely.”

“Love you too, very much.” He squeezes your hand back. “All four of you. We’re going to be okay, darling.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, a mixture of happiness and the sheer weight of the responsibility ahead. “I know. ‘cause we have each other.”

He smiles. ”Nothing better than that.”

As you stood there, watching over your son, you felt a profound sense of completeness. The future held many uncertainties, but this moment was perfect. Surrounded by the love of your husband and the new life you had brought into the world, you knew that together, you could face anything.

Satoru’s hand found yours, squeezing gently. “Welcome home, my little dawn.” he whispered, his voice filled with emotion. “This is just the beginning.”

You nodded, resting your head against Satoru’s shoulder, feeling the warmth of his love envelop you. In that small, serene nursery, surrounded by the promise of new beginnings, you felt a deep and abiding peace. 

This was your peace.

This was your home.

And this was your future. 

You were truly content now.

SOMEHOW, ADJUSTING WAS QUITE A WORD TO LEARN. Life as new parents to your little boy, Satoshi, was a whirlwind of joy, exhaustion, and moments that you knew would become cherished memories. And though it was hard most days, stressful even — you both would not trade it for anything else.

Gojo Satoru, ever the dedicated father, decided to take paternity leave, putting his duties aside to focus on his growing family.  He didn’t care about what the higher ups were going to say about it.  He just sent a phone call, turned off his phone and left them to deal with the situation until he could come back. He was not going to let any sense of his duty ruin his first glimpses as a father.

The decision brought a new level of warmth and connection to your home, a sanctuary away from the chaos of the world outside. It was more common now to see Gojo Satoru standing by the kitchen at two in the morning, trying to warm up frozen breast milk or being up and about by seven to make Megumi and Tsumiki’s bento boxes and see them off to school.

Satoru’s presence was a source of comfort and strength postpartum. He refused to let you raise a finger while he was in the house. You were still healing from the birth, he said. The best thing for you is to enjoy your relaxation and rest, while he does his part. It’s the smallest thing, he says to you as he gives you your breakfast that morning, there’s nothing to worry about. 

Most nights, when he lets you go to sleep as much as you can — you end up waking up to walk towards the bathroom to pee and you would see him, sitting in the living room. You would stand there, watching him as he finds himself cradling Satoshi, whispering sweet words of love and promises for the future. His cerulean eyes, usually so full of mischief, softened with a tenderness that melted your heart each time you saw him with your son.

You couldn’t help but enjoy seeing him so domesticated, to be at such a peace with himself, with his life. This was such a far cry from the Gojo Satoru you had known in your youths. And it was so beautiful, how genuinely graceful he had adapted to his new life. He was always there, with a gentle touch and a reassuring smile, ready to do what he had to for your comfort. 

“He’s just so small!” Tsumiki gushed, looking at the baby and then at you and Satoru. Her smile was from ear to ear. “Satoru-san, he looks exactly like you!”

Satoru laughed softly, a sound filled with pride and joy. “Hm, doesn’t he? He was born on my birthday too! My precious little ‘toshi.”

You chuckled, feeling the warmth of the moment. “Yes, he does. But look closer, Tsumiki. He’s got my nose and my stubborn streak already.”

Tsumiki leaned in, examining Satoshi’s tiny features with a thoughtful expression. “Oh, you’re right! I can see it now. He’s a perfect mix of both of you.” She looked up, her eyes sparkling. “He’s going to be so loved.”

Megumi, standing a bit shyly to the side,  as he looked at you and nodded. “Yeah, he is.” He stepped closer, peering at Satoshi with a mixture of curiosity and affection. “Welcome home….Satoshi.”

Megumi and Tsumiki were adjusting well to having a baby around the house. Satoru teased them both about being Satoshi’s elder siblings often, Tsumiki was gleeful and Megumi was always bashful. It was so lovely to watch. The house became more livelier than ever before.

You always noted that Tsumiki was a natural caregiver, always ready to lend  a hand with diaper changes or soothing Satoshi when he was fussy. You and Satoru often told her that she didn’t have to, but she insists that she wants to  spend time with him. She adored him, her nurturing nature shining through in every interaction.

Megumi, on the other hand, was more reserved. Shy about expressing his love for Satoshi with words, he found other ways to show his affection. He would sit quietly by Satoshi’s crib, reading aloud from his favorite books, or he’d be the first to arrive when Satoshi’s cries echoed through the house, ready to offer a pacifier or a comforting touch.

Satoru reached out, ruffling Megumi’s hair gently. “You’re going to be good to him, hm? Aren’t you, Megumi? I’m counting on you to help keep an eye on him when I’m not around, ‘kay?”

Megumi’s cheeks flushed slightly, but he nodded with determination. “I will.”

You felt a wave of gratitude and love for your makeshift family, the bonds between all of you growing stronger with each passing moment. “Of course we will.” you said softly, looking at each of them in turn. “We’re going to take care of each other, always.”

Tsumiki smiled warmly. “I’m so happy. It’s like our family keeps growing, and it’s just... perfect.”

Satoru pulled both Tsumiki and Megumi into a gentle hug, careful not to jostle Satoshi in your arms. “We’re a team, always remember!” he said, his voice filled with conviction. “No matter what, we stick together.”

“Of course!” Tsumiki cheered in reply.

Satoru looked at Megumi, pulling him closer. “What about you, ‘gumi? We’re all in this together!”

Megumi flustered, trying to shove your husband. “Ugh, stop—”

“Ehhhh! Just say it once, come on now!”

“I don’t wanna!”

“Megumi, come on! Satoru–san has a point!”

“I still don’t want to!”

As you watched this heartfelt moment, your heart swelled with emotion. The little ones have had quite a rough life, you knew that much. But to know that they have a home here, that they were happy here. The love and unity in your heart for your little home were palpable. Despite the challenges ahead, all the things you may never know — you knew that with your husband and the kids, you’ll always be fine.

Satoshi stirred slightly, his tiny hand reaching out as if sensing the warmth and love around him. You gently kissed his forehead, whispering softly, “See, Satoshi? You’re so loved by everyone, you know?”

Satoru glanced at you, his eyes shimmering with unabashed joy. “We’re going to give him the best life, darling. I promise you that.”

You smiled, feeling a deep sense of peace and contentment. “I know we will. Together.”

The gentle hum of life outside seemed to pause in reverence for the precious moment unfolding within your home. Satoshi nestled peacefully in your arms, his tiny fingers curling and uncurling as if grasping at the very fabric of love that surrounded him. The soft murmur of your family’s voices filled the air, a symphony of warmth that your little boy seems to be so in love with.

“Hey... can I hold him?” Megumi asked, his voice hesitant but hopeful.

You turned to Megumi, seeing the earnestness in his eyes. This was a big step for him, wanting to connect with his new brother in such a tangible way. You looked at Satoru, who was grinning. You smiled and nodded.

Satoru’s smile was warm and encouraging. “Of course, Megumi. Just be gentle, hm? He’s still too small, after all.”

With careful movements, You carefully handed Satoshi over to Megumi. The young boy’s face lit up with a rare, genuine smile as he cradled the little bundle in his arms. Satoshi, sensing the familiar presence, settled almost immediately, his tiny hand reaching up to grasp Megumi’s finger.

Satoru wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. “Look at them.” he whispered, his voice filled with emotion. “We’re really doing this.”

You leaned into Satoru, your heart swelling with love for your family. “Yes, we are, aren't we?" you replied softly. “And it’s perfect.”

Megumi looked up, his expression one of pure wonder. “He’s so small.” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “But he’s... perfect.”

“You’re doing great, Megumi,” you whispered, your heart swelling with pride.

Tsumiki joined you, her eyes shining with happiness. “He loves you, Megumi. You’re such a good big brother to him already."

“....am not his big brother.” he says shyly, scarlet blush across his face. 

“Nah, you are.” Satoru whispers at him, smiling as he pats Megumi’s hair. “You will always be his big brother, okay?”

You giggled. “And he’s happy about it too. He’s happy to be carried by his big brother Megumi.”

Megumi’s cheeks turned pink, but he didn’t look away from Satoshi. “I just….. want him to be happy.” he murmured, his voice barely audible.

Satoru wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. “He’s happy because he’s surrounded by love.” he said softly, his eyes meeting yours. “And because he has the best siblings in the world caring for him.”

You smiled at him, so full of love.

“I love you, all of you, my love.”

Cerulean eyes looked at you, tenderly.

“I love you too, darling. So so much.”

epilogue

One afternoon, you found Satoru in the kitchen, attempting to bake cookies with Tsumiki. Flour dusted his hair and apron, and Tsumiki giggled as she helped mix the dough. The sight was a blend of chaotic mess and heartwarming sweetness.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” you teased, leaning against the doorway with Satoshi nestled in your arms. The smell of burnt sugar was already wafting through the air, a clear indicator that things might not be going as planned.

Satoru flashed you a mischievous grin, his blue eyes sparkling with playful defiance. “I’m a man of many talents, darling. Baking just happens to be one of them.” He tried to flick flour at you, but it mostly ended up on Tsumiki, who erupted into fits of laughter.

“Yeah, sure.” you said, laughing as you shook your head. “I think you might need to add ‘kitchen disaster’ to your list of talents.”

Just then, Megumi walked in, drawn by the noise and commotion. He took one look at the flour-covered Satoru and the batter-splattered Tsumiki and rolled his eyes. 

“You’re making a mess.” he said dryly, though there was a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “We could just buy cookies from the local bakery.”

“Come on, Megumi!” Satoru called out, waving a dough-covered hand. “Join the fun! We’re making memories here!”

“Satoru–san’s right, Megumi!” Tsumiki says, giggling as she plays with the batter. “Come on!”

Megumi looks at you and you laugh, nodding. “Go on. It’s not that bad. If anything, we can clean it up. It’s okay.”

Reluctantly, Megumi sighed and pursed his lips. He slowly grabbed an apron  from the hook and joined in, his serious demeanor softening as he started to help. Slowly, the kitchen started to be filled with laughter and playful teasing, a symphony of familial love.

When the cookies finally came out of the oven, they were slightly burnt and oddly shaped. Satoru picked one up, examining it critically before taking a big bite. “Mmm, just like I remember from years ago.” he said with a straight face, making everyone laugh. “Didn’t you use to make us bake after missions?”

“Yes, but it did not look like that.” You smiled at him. “We could make new ones, if you want?”

“Yeah, let’s make one that’s digestible.” Megumi says as he started using the cookie cutters on his batter.

“Hey! They are perfectly digestible.”

“I don’t know, my love.” You tout as you looked at him teasingly, “It doesn’t seem to be good right now.”

“Oh just you wait, I’ll make another batch!” He says, almost determined to prove you wrong. “‘miki! Get more flour and butter! I’ll get the eggs!”

“I’m on it, Satoru–san!”

“Satoru, be careful, don’t run!”

“But I gotta get it done soon!”

“This isn’t masterchef, don’t rush!”

In the end, your husband made a more pleasant looking batter — but it was because you were making sure to watch everything as you cradled your little son in your arms. Megumi didn't need anything else but praise when it came to his cookies. They looked so round and perfectly golden. Tsumiki’s own batch was also pretty, she added pink sprinkles in her batter which made it more bright. 

When all the dishes were taken care of, the cookies were left to cool. Megumi prepared both of you a cup of black coffee, while Tsumiki plated the rest. Satoru whistled as he settled everything away where it belonged. 

"These cookies are... interesting," Megumi remarked, taking a hesitant bite.

Tsumiki giggled, nudging him playfully. "They're not that bad, Megumi. It's the thought that counts, right?"

Satoru leaned back in his chair, a satisfied grin on his face. "Exactly! Besides, the company is what makes them taste good." He ruffled Megumi's hair, earning a good-natured eye roll from the boy.

You smiled, feeling a deep sense of contentment. "I have to agree with Satoru on this one. Being together makes everything better."

Satoshi, sitting in his high chair with a cookie of his own, babbled happily, bits of cookie smeared around his mouth. His bright eyes sparkled with joy as he looked around at his family.

"Satoru-san, can we make more cookies tomorrow?" Tsumiki asked, her eyes wide with excitement.

Satoru chuckled, wiping a smudge of flour from his cheek. "We'll see, Tsumiki. Maybe we'll try making something else. How about a cake?"

"Yeah!" Tsumiki cheered happily with infectious excitement.

Megumi looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking up. "Can we make a chocolate cake?"

"Chocolate cake it is," you agreed, laughing at the enthusiasm of your children. "But maybe we should let Satoru handle the mixing next time."

Satoru feigned offense, placing a hand over his heart dramatically. "Hey, I think I did a pretty good job! Next time, I'll show you all my true baking skills."

"Sure, sure," you teased, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "We'll hold you to that, Mr. Talented."

The conversation flowed easily, filled with laughter and lighthearted banter. As the evening wore on, you found yourself marveling at the simple joy of being together. The challenges and uncertainties of life seemed distant, overshadowed by the love and warmth of your family.

Later that night, as you tucked Tsumiki and Megumi into bed, they both looked up at you with sleepy smiles.

"Goodnight to you, Gen-san!" Tsumiki whispered, her eyes already drooping.

"Goodnight, sweetie," you replied, brushing a kiss on her forehead. "Sleep well."

Megumi gave you a small, shy look with a blush on his cheeks. "Thanks for the cookies..... And for everything."

Your heart swelled with love as you kissed his forehead too. "You're welcome, Megumi. Sweet dreams."

Back in your bedroom, you found Satoru already lying down, Satoshi nestled in his crib nearby. You slipped into bed beside him, feeling his arms wrap around you instantly.

"Thank you for today," you whispered, resting your head on his chest.

He kissed the top of your head, his voice a soft murmur in the darkness. "Thank you, too. For everything. I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world."

You smiled, closing your eyes as you listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. "Me neither. Together, we'll make every day special."

One night, as you lay in bed with Satoru beside you and Satoshi nestled in his crib, you whispered, “Thank you for being here, Satoru. For all of us.”

He turned to you, his eyes filled with love and a hint of mischief. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else, darling. You and the children are my world.”

You smiled, feeling a deep sense of contentment. “Even if your cookies are terrible?”

He laughed softly, pulling you closer. “Even then. But don’t worry, I’ll keep practicing. One day, I’ll get it right.”

With a playful roll of your eyes, you kissed him gently. “I’m sure you will. But until then, we’ll just enjoy the burnt ones together.”

Satoru chuckled, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face. “Sounds like a plan, my darling.”

In that moment, surrounded by the quiet hum of your sleeping children and the gentle cadence of your husband’s heartbeat, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, your family would face them together. And with Satoru’s unwavering love and determination, you were certain that your home would always be filled with laughter, warmth, and the sweetest memories.

You wanted more of Gojo Satoru.

You wanted everything of him.

You wanted more of him in this life.

You can't hold enough of him, you think.

You can't hold enough of him in your hands.

[psychdeath]

cha wontaek. 3d environment artist @ orbit gaming. penned by ares (21+, s/h, gmt)

hey hi hello. it's me again after shamefully changing muses. like if you wanna plot, y'know the drill.

tw family death

NOBODY TO SOMEBODY

what sort of parents sign up for a kid only to abandon him and sign him over to the state? cha daehyun and lee bitna, a celebrity couple. thought that their relationship could stand the test of time and fandom. what the public didn't know was that they had plans to get pregnant, to start a family.

papers were signed and a baby was on its way. only, once news of their marriage broke, daehyun's rating started to plummet and the cowardice began to show. he promptly ditched and like a contagion, bitna's fear of losing her spot in the limelight became all too consuming. so she signed wontaek over to the state, giving him nothing but his life and a name.

life in the orphanage wasn't too bad, for the most part wontaek's needs were met. he didn't have to ask for much. but the sting of not being wanted even after the trouble of applying for him in the first place did not miss him. and where do all those feelings go?

he was a terror to all of those who knew him, volatile in personality with a short fuse to boot. pain has a way as masking itself as anger and wontaek donned his mask at too young of an age.

he's eight when a man comes to the orphanage to claim him. he introduces himself has his grandfather, the one responsible for his worthless son who had abandoned him.

from orphan to future heir, life really hit wontaek FAST. his grandpa being from a long line of simulation tech investors, wontaek was shuttled from the belt to the the gated districts where he would come to call the sprawling cha estate home.

generational wealth wasn't something he could put words to but the magnitude of change was. he became more confident and less angry, more talkative, made more of a presence in the rooms he walked into. it was almost if wontaek came into himself.

as he grew older he fostered a connection to the arts, painting being his preferred medium. he went to art school and came out the other side as a 3d environment artist (don't you just love nepotism?). he's done a lot of jobs, his resume spanning from designing simulation environments for coach to orbit gaming, working currently on the iron fists games.

he's twenty seven when the news of his grandpa's degenerative illness breaks and although he still has a few years on him, there are talks of the inheritance and who the cha assets should be passed on to. wontaek is his grandfather's likely pick but as of recent daehyun has been rearing his ugly head to claim what should be his. risking revealing to the world a near thirty year old misdemeanour, he has come for the cha inheritance and he won't go down without a fight.

terse conversations before family lawyers become a standard routine these days and daehyun's return to the cha estate has seen wontaek having to confront the ugly trauma of his early childhood.

but right now? he's just trying to make good with what he's got and the very little time he has left with grandpa.

PERSONALITY

leo sun, pisces moon and leo rising.

if you thought he was a cocky bastard, then you’re right. 

has always been here for a good time not a long time but as of late he's been roped into doing a lot of family stuff and Stepping Up To The Plate now that his gramps is sick.

his upbringing and estranged relo with his parents makes him cerebral and prone to moodiness, and rather than causing trouble nowadays he airs out his shit on the canvas.

when he’s in that place he’s selfish (more than usual), callous, and self critical.

otherwise he’s good vibes on a good day. if you can get past the entitlement.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Hair Trigger

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, Superfam, YJ98

Summary: A junior at Gotham University, Jason finds it difficult to conceal his worsening mental health from his family and his friend, Jon Lane Kent. Family secrets are revealed and boundaries are pushed as Jason and Laney struggle to navigate through school, their romantic feelings, and their trauma. Could the reintroduction of Laney Kent be more trouble than it's worth, or is it just what Jason needed to confront the demons of his past?

I will also do trigger warnings for chapters and if there is smut I have the chapter(s) tagged so you don't have to worry about nsfw in the fic if you're just here for the story itself.

Chapters: 23/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Jonathan Lane Kent, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake, Conner Kent, Natalia Knight, Jonathan Samuel Kent, Cassie Sandsmark, Chris Kent, Bart Allen, Original Character(s)

Relationships: JayLaney, Clois, TimKon

Additional Tags: University AU, No Powers AU, Sharing A Bed, Romance, Angst, TW // Kidnapping , TW // Gun Violence

Chapter Twenty-Three: Dead

Bruce went to bed early that night, leaving Cass and Jason to watch tv downstairs. Cass pulled the strings of her hoodie, covering her face. "This is terrible," she laughed.

"Somebody stop me!" Jason quoted as he nudged Cass.

She shook her head. "Dad's sleep," she held a finger up to quiet him.

"Hey," Jason whispered, "Popcorn?" She nodded and took the bowl from him.

"This is terrible," Cass mumbled. Jason's phone rang, and he answered.

"H—."

"Jason?" Laney sobbed.

"Yeah, it's me... What's wrong?" Jason asked. Laney coughed as he sobbed.

"He's dead," Laney sobbed, "I know I shouldn't be sad—."

"Wait, stop. Who's dead?" Jason asked.

"He—. Caleb," Laney cried. Jason pushed his hair back.

"Do your parents know?" Jason asked. "Cass, can you go get Dad's keys? I gotta go." Cass nodded and put the bowl on the coffee table before giving Jason a hug.

"No, they don't know. Jason, I'm sorry, I just didn't know who to tell," Laney apologized. Jason went upstairs and woke Bruce up.

"Dad... Dad, wake up. I'm taking one of your cars. I gotta go see about Lane," Jason whispered as he touched Bruce's shoulder. Bruce rolled onto his side.

"You're leaving?" Bruce asked. Jason nodded and waved as he went back downstairs and put his shoes on in the foyer. Cass came and handed him the keys.

"Hello?" Laney asked.

"Hey, baby, I'm on my way. Okay," Jason whispered, "Listen, it's okay that you're upset. I get why you're upset..."

Jason got in the car and put the phone on speaker. "Want to talk about something else?" Jason asked.

"Please," Laney wept.

"Know how you said you wanted to try couple's yoga?" Jason asked.

"And how you said it sounded like something straight people do?" Laney replied.

"Well, I'll give it a try if it'll make you feel better," Jason replied, "You're like the human version of a New Year's resolution, you know that?"

Laney sniffed. "Jason, I feel like I've asked a lot from you lately—."

"You can never ask me enough. Ask me more. Ask me anything, and I might say no at first, but I don't really think I can say no to you once I give it some thought," Jason reassured, "Yoga and therapy, I'll do it. All I ask is that you let me know what's going on in your head. Please."

Laney sniffed. "Jason, I promise that when I feel better, I'll—."

"Lane, don't worry about it. While I'm in the mood for saying yes, is there anything you want?" Jason asked.

"Can we listen to music?" Laney whispered.

Jason chuckled, "Of course we can listen to music. The CD you made me when we were fourteen got fucked up... But I have all the songs saved on a playlist."

"You've got—."

"I memorized the order to all the songs because it was the only thing I listened to when I was sad. You definitely altered my music taste completely," Jason confessed.

"There was no heterosexual explanation for some of those songs," Laney chuckled.

"To be fair, I ended up liking you even more after that," Jason smiled before starting to sing the words to a Don Henley song. "I never will forget those nights—."

"Eww, okay... That's embarrassing," Laney chuckled.

Jason laughed. "No, but do you realize that was the sweetest thing you'd ever done for me?" Jason asked. Jason continued to speak softly to Laney until he got to the apartment. "Hey, Laney, I'm here—." Jason was interrupted by the sound of Laney snoring. He chuckled and used the key around his neck to let himself in. He went into the bedroom and stripped down to his underwear, placed Laney's CPAP over Laney's nose, and climbed into the bed.

Laney stirred. "Jason, that you?" Laney mumbled.

"No," Jason whispered, "I'm a burglar, and I've come to take a nap in your bed and take all your money." Laney turned around, and Jason pressed a kiss to Laney's cheek. "I told you I was on my way."

"I guess I figured you were trying to get me to go to sleep," Laney replied. Jason shook his head. "I'm sorry. I know you were supposed to spend the night—."

"I can always go home and spend the night. You said you needed me, so here I am. Simple as that," Jason whispered.

Jason fixed Laney's hair, pushing a few loose strands out of the way. "It's good that he's dead... Isn't it?" Laney asked. Jason nodded.

"I'm not gonna get mad at you for being upset. You can be hurt if you want to be. It's okay," Jason whispered. Laney tried to blink away a few tears, but they streamed down his cheeks. Jason sat up in the bed, and Laney rested his head in Jason's lap. Jason played with Laney's hair.

"I couldn't even ask them how he died," Laney's voice broke. Jason rubbed his back and with his other hand. "Jason, I'm so sorry."

"Lane, have you ever talked to anybody about what it was like when you were with him?" Jason asked.

"I know that it was wrong, and I'm glad that it's o—."

"You don't have to use logic. Just tell me how you feel. I'm not gonna get mad at you," Jason whispered.

Laney took a deep breath. "It started out when he let me sleep in his office, and he'd leave little things for me underneath his desk, like notes and stuff... Then he started coming in there and talking to me all night, and then we started sleeping in his room.

We never had sex, but he comforted me. I had nightmares and a lot of emotional stuff going on, but he gave me what I thought I needed. I needed someone to care about me. Logically I know how wrong it is to feel bad for how things ended, but I can't help it."

Jason nodded and continued to rub Laney's back. "I'm still listening," Jason reassured.

"The day that my sophomore year ended, and I was in the car with him on the way to Hershey, I think I knew what he wanted deep down... But the thing is, I wasn't ready. When he brought it up, I freaked. I started crying, and had I not thrown up out of the window, he never would've let me go.

He was in the car arguing with me and screaming at me. He told me that I needed him and that I wasn't as mature as I seemed at first," Laney stopped speaking abruptly. Jason looked down at Laney. "What's wrong?" Jason asked.

Laney sat up and took his mask off. "He was horrible to me... I mean, I've never really thought about how things ended," Laney replied, "Not about what he said to me... I don't really feel bad anymore."

"You sure?" Jason asked. "We can talk some more if you want..."

Laney locked his fingers with Jason's, and Laney kissed his cheek. "Thank you for coming to get me," Laney whispered. Jason returned the favor by kissing his cheek, and before either of them could think, they both shared a passionate kiss.

Jason pulled away. "Lane, I gotta stop," Jason chuckled as they touched foreheads.

Laney smiled. "You're so cute," Laney whispered, "Do you maybe want to do this after my family goes back home?"

Jason gave Laney a quick peck on the lips. "Sunday night?" Jason asked.

"Yeah," Laney mumbled with a hint of lust in his voice. Jason chuckled and lay down. Laney put his CPAP back on and lay facing the door, and Jason wrapped his arms around Laney. "Jason, can I say something stupid?"

"Please do," Jason smiled.

"You have a dump truck ass," Laney laughed, and Jason pressed a kiss to the back of Laney's neck.

"You're so annoying," Jason grinned, holding back a laugh. "Go to bed."

[a-b-riddle]

Taken

Chapter One: Dinner & Introductions

Elizabeth Snow had always been careful, always watching her back, always paranoid that something, someone was out to get her. In come the Avengers: New York's bravest and strongest defense. A particular Super Soldier catches her attention. He is charming and kind and makes her feel safe. Little did you know something much more dark and more sinister than she ever expected is at play.

Warnings: Religious Trauma, Cult, Forced Marriage, Kidnapping, Stalking, Stockholm Syndrome, Non-Con, Dub-Con. Violence against women. Threats and intimidation. Childhood Trauma.

January 2020

It wasn't all that frequent that the Avengers would humble themselves to dwell amongst the common folk. They all had this somewhat painted facade of perfection. Captain America was national hero, the Winter Soldier was a tortured prisoner of war and Iron Man... if the man himself didn't believe he was a god then over half of the world did.

For whatever the reason, Elizabeth Snow had always felt somewhat uneasy around them. She caught glimpses of who they really were; under the metal, behind the masks and tight spandex, they were still men. They were men who got too frisky with her coworkers, but tipped so well no one ever complained and tonight they sat in her section.

The restaurant could be best described as a high class bar. Although there were technically no poles, there were plenty of beautiful women for anyone who could cover the door fee. Her coworkers joked that it was a brothel that had a food permit. Men, and very seldom women, would come in and have one or a few of the escorts come and join them. Sometimes they bought them dinner, sometimes they even took them on as sugar babies. Elizabeth was at the bottom of the totem pole, merely waitressing. Granted she got paid more than the women who simply sat and talked to these men for hours, but she did a whole hell of a lot more work and had to dress as equally as scandalous.

The restaurant was always dimly lit, giving a relaxing ambiance to her patrons and staff. The room had oak chairs with plush red cushions. A huge golden chandelier hung in the middle of the room. The walls mirrored that of an opera house. Detailed crown molding and an atmosphere that wreaked of privilege and entitlement. She could never relate to this world and yet she were still in it; a mere ant compared to the people who came in to dine on overpriced food and liquor that was older than she was.

It was on tonight's special occasion that the club had been entirely rented out courtesy of Tony Stark. Elizabeth and the other girls guessed that it was something with S•H•I•E•L•D• given that most of the men looked more like secret agents than the usual patrons. Several of the key members seemed to be missing from the group centered in the middle of the room.

At the biggest lounge section sat Thor, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark, and several others she didn't recognize.

In her black cami dress that she bought from some fast fashion website, she straightened herself, kept a good postured and walked over to their table with as much courage as she could muster. "Good evening, Gentlemen." She greeted with a smile and customer service persona on high. "My name is Eliza. What can I get you all started with to drink?"

She could feel their eyes burning on her body. She felt Steve's eyes linger a little bit too long on her bare calves before he answered. "I'll just take a beer, sweetheart." She further asked what kind, having several on tap as well as bottled, both domestic and foreign.

Mr. Stark ordered a Macallan neat and didn't try to hide his ogling as either, but his eyes seemed to venture more north.

"I will have the same as Steve." Thor answered, not being shy to stare blatantly at her chest. It wasn't uncommon for patrons to look. The standard was at long as they looked with their eyes and not their hands.

"And do you have ID?" She asked the boy who appeared to be a bit too young to even be there. He sat there wordlessly, just staring at her. One would have thought the kid never saw a woman before in his life the way he was staring.

Jesus Christ. She thought.

"He's with me," Mr. Stark answered, nonchlantly. "Just get him a Jack and Coke." She was too afraid to confront that the kid was obviously a minor. She would have to give her manager a heads up. It wasn't uncommon for socialites and the occasional trust fund baby to pop in with a bullshit fake, but if they threw enough cash, the higher ups ignored it.

Two others had given their requests and now was the one that made her nervous to walk over to the table. Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier, and the only one out of all of them, who actually scared her. She had seen the news stories. She would be stupid not to be scared of any of the Avengers, but something about Bucky was just terrifying. He seemed unpredictable, deadly.

Bucky looked over the wine & spirits menu before answering "Surprise me" and staring her down. Not at her legs, not at her ass or her chest. His eyes connected directly into her deep green eyes. She swallowed nervously but kept her composure. A sweet smile and a forced ignorance at the obvious stares she was getting.

Be sweet. What she had always been told.

"All right, great." She said penciling down everything, sure to get it right. "Did you want a beer or a hard liquor, perhaps more of a cocktail?" He replied with cocktail. Nothing sweet. Unlike the others, he was the only one who kept consistent eye contact instead of staring down at her body; it made Elizabeth's skin tingle uneasily. "I'll get those right out. Can I put in for any appetizers? We have a chef special tonight, the Grand Plateau which has jumbo lump crab cakes, North Atlantic Lobster, shrimp cocktail and six oysters on the half shell."

"Bring us out two," Tony ordered, his eyes darting back to the menu. "And we'll go from there."

"Fantastic. I'll give you minute to look over the menu and if you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer them when I come back." After turning to head toward the kitchen, she felt their eyes glued to her backside. It wasn't uncommon at work since looking attractive was the primary job requirement. But nevertheless, it made her uneasy. Sometimes a patron would get a little too drunk and a little too frisky, they would either pay a fine that was given to the girl or be blacklisted from the establishment.

What scared Elizabeth was that not only that everyone currently at her table powerful beyond inhuman means, but they had the richest man alive buying their dinner tonight. A $5,000 fine was nothing to Tony Stark. The possibilities of the outcomes or what could happen made her want to switch tables. But her boss was insistent that she was the one to take them. Everything needed to be perfect.

What she failed to mention was that she was requested by name and some extra incentive was passed along to make it seem coincidental.

"You should be getting a good tip tonight." Calliope remarked as Elizabeth starting their tab. "Mr. Stark always tips well." Calliope was a bubbly 20-something blonde from Ohio. Since both of them moved to New York and had no connections here, they relied of each other here and there to get by. Often they would switch tables when the other needed to make a little more money.

"Well let's hope that's true for tonight." Elizabeth finished up their tab set up and headed to the kitchen to place their order first before going to the bar. Given the size of the group, the bartenders were a little short staffed working on the back and helping serve.

"What are you making?" Calliope asked following behind Elizabeth like a puppy. "My tables just put in an order for food so I'm just killing time." Time Elizabeth wish she had right now.

"I found online." She dismissed. "One of them said 'surprise me'. Do they not realize how stressful that is? Like I don't know what you like to drink."

"But what is it?"

"I don't know, I didn't make it. Rim the glass with sugar, muddle some cherries, two ounces of bourbon, one ounce orange juice, add some bitters, half an ounce maple syrup, strain over ice."

Like most 20 somethings, Elizabeth spent most of her free time on social media apps, even though she promised herself she would be more productive. She even went as far as buying a few new books that just seem to be collecting dust. When she came across a recipe she liked, she saved it. Her camera roll was more full of screenshots and saved videos than anything else.

"That sounds pretty damn good. Make me one after this shift?" Calliope asked, resting her chin on Elizabeth's shoulder. Calliope was only a little taller than Elizabeth, but she was far more skinny. Elizabeth had thighs that required anti-chub rub powder before every shift or else she would pay for it later.

"If I last that long, I have been cramping literally all day. I almost called out, but Jonathan begged me to come in since the whole place was gonna be packed." Jonathan was their manager and Elizabeth were the first person he always called to come in and cover a shift.

"Are you still not on birth control?" Calliope narrowed her eyes at her. Elizabeth had been complaining of cramps the last couple of months, but never managed the time to get it sorted. She usually just took a Midol and spent the evening cuddle up next to a heating pad.

"No I looked into getting another IUD, but out of pocket is so expensive." With insurance, that she didn't have, she was looking at about $400 for the ultrasound alone. Not to mention she would have to pay for the visit and the implant out of pocket.

"Just go to your gyno and have them write a prescription for the pill." Calliope said, irritated that they two were having this conversation yet again. She never made the time to take care of herself or to just take a day off. Elizabeth was all work, no play and truly dull. Add-in a recent breakup and her social life was, well, pathetic.

"Your first mistake was thinking I had a gynecologist."

"Then go find one." Calliope said. "I have a great one a couple of blocks down."

"With what insurance?" She countered.

"Fair enough." Calliope decided to just drop it. One thing she learned about Elizabeth since the two started working together is that she was sweet, shy and didn't like confrontation. But if there was something Elizabeth didn't want to do, she wasn't going to do it. No arguing. Just a simple 'no, thank you' or 'I'd rather not'.

"It's not like I'm seeing someone anymore." Elizabeth sighed, placing everyone's drinks on her tray before picking it up. "I can't remember the last decent date I went on."

"That's because you won't give anybody a chance."

"I don't like anyone enough to give them a chance. Don't you have food to go check on?"

Calliope rolled her eyes and headed back into the kitchen.

"Alright, gentlemen," She set the tray down at the edge of the table and distributed the drinks. She set the beverages in front of their intended. "Here you go." She was about to put the final one down, when Bucky reached out for his drink instead of letting her just place it on the table. Instantly, her face felt prickly, almost as if she had pre-workout that was a little bit too intense.

The look on his face, she wouldn't call it smiling exactly, but there was definitely a look. Nothing sinister or mischievous. It was just... nice.  "Is there anything else I can get before I check on the food?" They said they still needed time looking over the menu, she nodded, gave a meek 'okay' in response and scurried off into the kitchen.

"See something you like, Barnes?" Tony asked, noticing the Winter Soldier still kept his eyes glued to her as she disappeared behind the doors leading into the kitchen.

"Pretty little thing, isn't she?" Steve remarked. "Told you this one was perfect." Steve had took the liberty in paying to make sure that Elizabeth was the one catering to their needs tonight. He had come several weeks back with just Sam and he knew he would be perfect for her. Unfortunately, he had a different waitress tending to him that evening, so he was left looking at her from a far.

But once he saw her, he knew she would be perfect for him. "You got that right. I can't believe how much she favors Connie" Bucky agreed and took a sip of his cocktail. Bucky ran his tongue along his top lip. "That's pretty good."

"A girl who knows how to make you a drink after a long day." Steve raised his eyebrows, a playful smile on his face. "It'll be nice, Buck. Just what you need."

Once the appetizers were ready, Elizabeth brought them out. Back straight, stomach pulled in and hips swaying. Who would have thought confidence was so easily faked.

"What did you give him?" Tony asked pointing to Bucky.

"Oh it's something I just whipped up behind the bar. Just bourbon, orange juice, some bitters."

"Yeah, but what is it called? In case he wants to order another." Tony pressed and she felt like he was talking to her like a child.

"Nothing. It's just something I made behind the bar." She tried to explain. "Why? Did you not like it?" She her brow furrowed. The concern was written on her face.

"No," Bucky assured, but enjoying that she was worried about whether or not she did something wrong. "It's great, keep 'em coming, doll."A chill ran up her spine at the pet name.

"I'll take one too. Hell," Stark waved her off. "Just make it a round."

She smiled, happy that it wasn't a flop. "Sure thing." She said before shuffling back to the bar, leaving them to peck at the food. More drinks meant more money spent, more money spent meant a bigger tip.

"If you stare any harder at her, you're gonna burn a hole through the back of her head, Bucky." Steve laughed as he sipped his drink. "I told you she wasn't bad on the eyes."

"Nope." Bucky said watching her intently. She was oblivious to his stare; too focused on making him and his friends drinks. "She's something."

"Followed her for a few weeks. Makes a b-line from work to her apartment. Takes her dog on a walk in the morning at 7 am, lunch and 6 pm. I don't think I've seen her actually go anywhere else. Practically a recluse and perfect for snatching." Steve was always proud when it came to that sort of thing. He almost perfected Pepper's behavior. Tony preferred someone that fought back a little, but didn't like things to get physical. And Steve was more than eager to help.

"I want to take it slow." He said. "Ease her into it."

"That's no fun."

"Some of us have patience, Tony." He Bucky finished off his second drink. "Besides, I would be worried if she was eager to jump into it. I like a bit of a chase." That's how things were back in the day. Bucky was still unaccustomed to this new era of 'dating'. Women, men, everyone took things too quickly. There was no build up. Quick satisfaction and very little substance.

She returned with the drinks and hoping for everyone's approval. "Everything come out okay?" She stood, waiting for them to say whether the appetizer or drinks weren't to their liking.

Tony was the first to take a sip of the concoction. "That is good." Tony said sitting back in his chair. "Do you bartend on the side?" His held tilted to the side. It was nice that their gaze had some what changed. Granted, she wasn't oblivious. She knew how she looked, especially in that attire and it didn't make her any less comfortable.

"Oh, no." She replied bashfully. "I just do it sometimes here. Short on staff tonight and it's honestly not that hard."

"Well what's in it?" Steve asked swirling his glass before taking a sip himself. "May have to order me another one."

" It's just muddled cherry, bourbon, orange juice, bitters and maple syrup over ice." She answered,  somewhat proud of Steve's compliment. "So what are we feeling food wise?" They all rattled off their orders, except Bucky, who just replied with "surprise me" again.

"Beef, chicken or seafood?" Again with the option. Although he preferred to be in control, he wanted her to be self-ensured on making certain decisions.

"Let's go beef." He said and gave her a soft smile. Again, the unsettling feeling trickled down her spine.

She wrote down an order for a Wagyu medium rare, sided with lobster Mac & cheese and creamed spinach with garlic confit. When she went to turn away, her heel weirdly turned on the floor causing her to lose her balance and stumble. Bucky's hands quickly shot out to make sure she didn't fall.

"Oh goodness, I-I'm sorry." She apologized, his hands still on her hips. Bucky loved how she seemed so frazzled. She looked cute when she was embarrassed.

"Don't worry about it, Doll." He said slowly letting his hands slip off of her. Her skin felt like it was on fire where his touched lingered a bit too long.

She thanked him again before going to the kitchen to collect herself.

Calliope saw sweat beginning to collect at Elizabeth's forehead. "You good?" She asked.

"Yeah," she reassured. "It's just a busy night."

"Well if you need any help, just let me know." She said before picking up two dishes in the kitchen window. Elizabeth promised to just try and steer clear from the table until their meals were ready.

She carefully set down Bucky's meal last. "I guessed you for a medium rare kind of guy."

"You guessed correctly." He said. "This looks amazing."

"Is there anything else I can get you?"

"Just another round of drinks, but perhaps a surprise shot this time?" Tony ordered.

"Yes, sir."

She made quick work behind the bar. 1 ounce of grenadine, 1/2 ounce of whipped cream vodka, 1 ounces of vanilla schnapps, shaken with ice, poured into an empty shot glass and topped with a small thing of whip cream.

She never liked to taste the alcohol in her drinks. She prefered anything sweet and fruity and would trade beer for a cosmopolitan with heavy cranberry juice any day.

She brought the red shots over and placed them around, having to lean a bit to get them to everyone, being sure to be mindful of her feet this time.

"This is a little bit more sweet than the last one so if you don't like it I can just make another one no problem." She offered.

"I like sweet." Bucky smiled and she gave a smile back, just to be courteous.

Everyone seemed pleased with their drinks and service. They ordered another round of the bourbon drink she made earlier and Elizabeth began to clear plates and empty platters when Steve spoke up.

"What are you doing later?" Steve asked boldly. "After dinner we were going to go to Stark Towers and have a little get together." She was surprised at the offer and felt it would affect her tip if she just flat out said no. The murderous look Bucky flashed Steve went unnoticed.

"Oh, I'm scheduled to close." She lied. "I probably won't be getting off until 4 or so."

"Well no reason why we can't wait up." Tony tilted his head, almost as if he were challenging her.

"Oh you don't need to do that." Elizabeth urged. "Plus, I have to work tomorrow so I really need to go home and rest up." Something in her gut was telling her even those the were the same people who saved the world, protected Earth, and were regarded as unequivocally being the 'good guys', she needed to get the fuck out of there. "Anything else I can bring you? Dessert? Another round?"

"We're fine for now." Tony said. She gave a swift nod and a smile before retreating into the kitchen.

Elizabeth pulled Calliope away from the conversation she was having with the cook. "Hey! What's the deal?" She asked. "I'm trying to cop a free meal."

"I'm not feeling well and Jonathan said I could clock out at 12 since I came in to cover a shift and it's already 1:46. Do you think you can handle my table for the rest of the night?"

"We close in literally another hour, can you not just push through it?"

"Whatever they tip, I'll give you half." Her tone instantly shifted.

"Go home and get some rest, Birdie." She urged pushing Elizabeth toward the back room.

"Thank you, thank you," She said going to the computer in the back room and clocking out. She made haste getting her shit together while Calliope took care of New York's heroes.

"Hi, I'm Calliope and I'll be taking care of you for the rest of the evening."

"What happened to the other girl?" Steve asked pointing to the direction their previous waitress just fled.

"Oh, she wasn't feeling too well so I'll be taking care of you for the rest of the night. Is there anything I can get you? Maybe some more drinks or are we thinking a dessert?"

Steve shot Bucky a look. "I think we're good." He answered. Tony pulled a couple of hundreds from his wallet.

"Here is your tip, my dear." He handed her the money. "I'll be sure to give our waitress her tip when we come in next time. What was her name again?" Calliope told them. Bucky repeated her name, liking the way it felt coming from his mouth. Instantly he imagined him moaning it as he buried himself inside her.

To say Elizabeth ran to her apartment is accurate. She didn't know why but she had the feeling she was being followed, but she always did. Elizabeth always felt afraid of every shadow and strange noise in the darkness. Like something would reach out and grab her.

She finally relaxed when she locked the apartment door behind her. Mia, her 80 pound Rottweiler was ready and greeting her at the door. As intimidating as she was, she didn't growl, much less bark. She initially kept her with the intent of being a guard dog, but turns out she was a social butterfly.

She put on Mia's harness and took her outside to potty before the two of them went to bed. Pulling out her phone, she sent Calliope a text to check-in.

*So how did it go?*

*ok. Stark gave me a $300 tip. Said that you would get your tip next time they came in*

*youre fucking joking*

*i swear . They acted really weird whenI told them you left because you weren't feeling well.*

*shit you told them I wasn't feeling good?* *yeah whats the big deal?* *they asked me did I want to go back to Stark Towers after they finished* *holy shit why didn't you go?* *I just got a really weird feeling. I don't exactly feel comfortable with them.*

*why? They were so nice.* *idk it's just like a gut feeling. Did they stay long after I left?* *no they actually didn't order anything else and headed out.*

Mia finished her business and Elizabeth began to panic. Did she make them mad by refusing their offer? What's going to happen next time they come in? She was so caught up in being worried about having pissed off the strongest people in the world, she didn't even notice a set of eyes watching her, from a car parked across the street.

Stark Towers was dimly lit with they returned. The Avengers had quickly turned Stark Towers into their own home and headquarters after the battle in Wakanda. Tony resided in the penthouse. The floor below him was Steve, then Bucky followed by Sam, Bruce, Natasha and Wanda. Peter still lived with his aunt May and Strange resided... well no one really knew where Strange lived.

Everyone retired to the floor below Wanda's which served as the common area. There was a well stocked kitchen and walk-in pantry, a couple of couches and a pool table.

"So, that made for an interesting dinner." Steve said throwing his coat on a bar stool. "What do you think, Buck?"

"I think you were right, Steve." Bucky remarked taking off his own leather coat. "She's exactly what I had in mind."

"Well I suppose asking her out the old fashioned way isn't the route your taking." Tony remarked.

"I'll try to woo her a bit, but I'm not into a chase if that's what your asking."

"A chase worked for me and Pepper." He defended.

"Where is Pepper?" Peter asked.

"Oh, Pepper," he said. "That's right." His expression was of feigned surprise. "I suppose we forgot to invite her along before we left, Cap."

"I suppose we did." Steve sinfully smirked. "Let's go see if she's still busy."

Tony and Steve walked to the elevator, leaving the others in the common area. "So are you going to help Bucky train this one?"

"If he needs it." Steve offered. "I don't think she'll be much of a fighter. She was so scared she took off before we were even done eating. Not one for confrontation."

"I told Bucky he could borrow the mansion upstate when he was ready. It's hard disciplining them while in the city. You get too worried that they'll try and escape."

"Tell me about it." He said walking into Tony's penthouse. It was nothing short of state of the art. Everything was sharp and clean. They walked into a hallway, where at the end led into Tony's office. On the wall, there was a shelf. Steve rolled up his sleeves as Tony pulled a book, causing the bookcase to move to the side, revealing a hidden door.

Steve and Tony entered the room where Pepper's body hung from the ceiling. Her once perky and neat ponytail now sagged, stray baby hairs flying in different direction. Her arms and legs hogtied together, letting her hang in the air. Her head hung limply down, strings of drool pooling around her gag and falling on her chest. The sounds of her deep breathing and the low hum of the vibrator filled the room.

"So," Steve asked wrapping a hand around Pepper's throat. "Did we learn our lesson?"

Chapter Two: Getting To Know You

[46ten]

What did the Hamiltons usually do in the summers? Did they take vacations? EH used to travel to Albany with the children but after 1792 she did not leave AH alone again. Did she continue traveling to Albany but taking AH with her, or did they have other plans for the summer?

way too long DNR summary: they didn't really take vacations in the summer, or at other times of the year. At no time did Eliza, in particular, go and visit her parents on some regular schedule.

I think AH spent more time with his wife's parents in Albany during their married life than she did! AH is more frequently going up there because he has to be at court (NY Supreme Court in session in Jan, Apr, July, and Oct, and Court of Errors in session right after, as far as I can recall) or a matter he's dealing with is in arbitration, or some such - she often doesn't go with him, though.

I think Eliza was a lot more independent and assertive and knew how she wanted things than is acknowledged - I don't think these were traits that suddenly appeared after AH died. She grew up without her father around for chunks of time (why don't we ever discuss that bit of bonding about somewhat absent fathers that she and AH could have had), and then in the chaos of the AmRev, while still a teenager, she's trusted at times to run the households while her father is away general-ing and/or having to do political stuff elsewhere, and her mother is managing their other properties -her parents were likely in Saratoga and she was managing things at the Pastures right before she got married in late fall 1780. Once she finally got to establish her own household, I don't think she loved going back to stay with them and having to fall in line with how her parents wanted the household to work - that's entirely my speculation though. Maybe she secretly hated them, maybe she had some trauma/stress around being in Albany and Saratoga from her childhood, when that was considered the frontier, or from her war experiences, maybe she just didn't want to have to manage the packing and moving of servants that was also necessary or have the funds to make it sensible, maybe the arrangements she had with her servants made it difficult to agree to travel (there was a shortage of "good labor" in the cities), maybe she enjoyed her thriving social life elsewhere and hated being back in Albany and hearing "the Dutch bell," as Angelica C. jokes about.

To the actual question! If you want a detailed report, @runawayforthesummer is probably the best person to ask, as she developed a timeline of the locations of all the various family members based not only on publicly available documents but on Schuyler family letters and other documents that required on the ground research. Below is just my rough summary of what I can remember - parts may be wrong, but I think it's generally okay.

Summer of 1781: he goes off with the military, ultimately to VA

Summer of 1782: still on her parents' property in Albany with baby Philip

Summer of 1783: the same, though he's traveling a bit more.

Summer of 1784: living in NYC, she stays there while he briefly travels (she gives birth to Angelica H. in September)

Summers of 1785-88: mostly in NYC (with two more bio kids added to the family, and Fanny added in 1787), although now we know she went to Philadelphia in June 1787 around the time AH gave a speech at the Constitutional Convention. (It had been assumed she spent the summer in NYC, as AH was known to be back there briefly in July, and James A. H. was born in April 1788, so easy to deduce that she must have been in NYC, too.)

Point to note here and for the next 15 years or so: just because the Hamiltons weren't traveling back and forth to Albany doesn't mean that family members from upstate NY were stuck in place. Peggy and hubby Stephen van Rensselaer stay with them, Eliza's brother is sent to live with them by Philip S because he thinks their good example will rub off on his wayward son, Eliza's youngest sisters Cornelia and Kitty/Caty (little Catharine b 1781) also live with them at various times, and Philip S. and Catharine are fairly frequently visiting when Phil S. isn't too sick to travel (and since Philip S spends two years as a U.S. Sen, they're also sometimes living in the same city as the Hamiltons anyway).

Summer of 1789: this is an interesting year, because Angelica Church returns back to NY for the first time in nearly six years; she just barely misses the inauguration in April. And then Angelica actually spends most of her time in upstate NY - contra one particular Hamilton biographer who alleges (based on nothing) that Eliza spent most of her time that year in Albany while AH and Angelica were having a torrid affair in NYC. The interesting part? If Eliza went up to Albany at all while Angelica was there, she didn't spend tons of time there. Phiiip S. requests in May that everyone goes up as he wants his whole family together- someone else probably knows whether they actually did. Eliza and the kids also may have gone to Albany in Nov 1789 after Angelica has leftl; AH is too busy with work to go.

Summer of 1790: she and the kids go to Albany. But she just goes up in September and is likely back within three weeks - the plan was that AH was also going to join them, but then he's too busy with work.

Summer of 1791: back in Albany for Eliza and the kids, this time to get away from hot Philadelphia, but actually only gone the last week of July to beginning of September, and he makes a brief trip to NJ during that time, too. But she and AH also took a trip "to the country" together for two weeks in May, sans kids - he doesn't even send any letters during that time.

December of 1791: Philip H. starts boarding school - I point this out not only because both his parents escorted him to boarding school (taking a mini-trip themselves), but because the patterns of the older boys' schooling - usually in school at least through July - from here on out would have prevented summer trekking to Albany, anyway.

Summer of 1792: the Hamiltons remain in Philadelphia, where Eliza gives birth to John Church H in August.

Summer of 1793: YELLOW FEVER REACHES PHILADELPHIA! They stay in Philadelphia but rent a house outside the city. The children are eventually sent up to Albany, and Eliza and AH end up there, too, for a couple of months after Edward Stevens nurses them back for health. EH and AH return to Philadelphia together, and then AH probably had to send a threatening letter to his father-in-law to return his kids. (Philip S. had written that AH was clearly still too sick to have proper judgment on whether the kids could return.)

Point to note here: just because AH and EH are in their usual residential spot doesn't mean that all of their kids are there with them. At various times over the years, and in varying combinations, the kids get brought up by a relative or left by their parents in Albany - Eliza's married siblings are in upstate NY so they have first cousins and a ton of other relatives; their grandparents or Aunt Peggy take over their tutoring and other instruction, etc. They get returned when another relative is traveling back to Philly/NYC.

Summer of 1794: it doesn't seem like anyone planned to go to Albany, but JCH gets sick and Eliza is pregnant, and they try a brief excursion away from hot Philly but JCH doesn't get better, so in late July, AH escorts both of them (likely with James A. H.) up to Albany and then rushes back down and Angelica H stays with him, while Phil and Alex eventually go back to school in Trenton. And then they have an awful couple of months, because although JCH recovers, AH leaves to deal with the "insurrection" in October and pretty much all the Hamilton kids get sick while he's away. Eliza has to go get the oldest boys from school. AH, who was always recommending medical treatments and played a big part in nursing the family when anyone got sick isn't around (the old thing of him intending to become a medical doctor when he left St. Croix). It largely all falls to Eliza and her parents and maybe a few siblings come down to help her out, and then she gets sick too (or is just so exhausted) - Edward Stevens helps take care of her - and she loses the baby. AH gets home and sends his resignation letter to GW and accepts the guilt of being the reason Eliza was ill.

Late winter/early spring 1795: the above led to the longest "vacation" they probably every took - after his resignation is official on Jan 31, the Hamiltons leave Philly on Feb 17 and travel to upstate NY via NYC, arriving in March, and stay there all the way until June. They make some mini excursions, but it looks like a deliberate downtime after an exhausting 6 years and super rough eight months. It also gives AH time to evaluate how poor (relative to others in their social class) they are due to his time in the admin. And then they settle into life back in NYC and AH's return to his law practice (and interference in any number of other political happenings).

Summer of 1795: YELLOW FEVER REACHES NYC! And they stay in the city, to Philip S's great panic for this and every subsequent NYC summer prior to the Grange. AH has Jay Treaty stuff, running the Washington admin from a distance, and establishing his law office to deal with. And they host Talleyrand. They also now have four (?) non-bio kids living with them.

Summer of 1796: Still in the city! The older boys are in school; AH goes up in October.

Summer of 1797: Yep, still there! The Churches return from Europe in May (and subsequently, Angelica C. spends way more time in Albany than it seems Eliza ever does). They have the whole Callendar/Reynolds/Monroe debacle to spice things up; Eliza gives birth to William in August. Most interesting - Philip S. was very ill in April 1797 - they thought he was going to die. Eliza doesn't go to Albany to visit him immediately, even though AH is there! At least Cornelia is with her, so they were bad daughters together; they may have gone briefly after he recovered. AH is absent again when Phil H. gets extremely sick in the fall.

Summer of 1798: Ah, Eliza finally goes back to Albany again without AH! And she's super unhappy about it or she and AH had some big fight before she left, based on AH's and Angelica C's letters to her. She takes baby William with her - Angelica H. might already be up there - but the older boys stay in the city with AH, and Angelica C., Peggy, AND Cornelia are in the city keeping an eye on him anyway (and likely helping with the kids). Eliza doesn't even stay three weeks before going back home (even though it seems AH thought she might stay away longer, maybe in retaliation or something). They rent a house outside the city with the Churches to get away from the yellow fever outbreak.

1798 is also the year when AH starts to complain A LOT in his letters about having to travel and any separations - he always expressed sadness about it and his anxiety increased the longer they were apart, but in this year and onwards it really carries a "this sucks and I hate it and I cannot do it much longer, I need the comfort of my family all the time" tone - even Angelica C. notes his unhappiness about separations and that anything that seems to affect Eliza or the children in his absence really drags him down.

Summer of 1799: still in NYC! Eliza's also pregnant and gives birth to a real Eliza in Nov.

And nothing much changed for the remaining summers, except adding the Grange as a place they could go, which was entirely the point . AH is in Albany for business/court and stays longer to be there when Peggy dies in 1801; Eliza does not go up. Philip H's death in Nov 1801 leads to an invitation from Phil S that they come to visit, which it seems that they do in January 1802 and then return to NY - Eliza is pregnant and there are frequent concerns that she's going to lose that baby (whether because she's actually ill or so grief-stricken) and AH does not respond to condolences until March, but Lil Phil is born healthy in June 1802. Eliza goes up solo after her mother dies in spring 1803 to comfort her father but doesn't spend much time there. The Hamiltons go into a pattern, esp in the warmer months, of Eliza staying up at the Grange with Angelica H. and the youngest children and AH staying in the city with the oldest boys during the week and coming up to the Grange on the weekends, a separation that Eliza would describe as a "sacrifice" they made so that their kids would always have a parent with them. (Beyond first Philip H's death, there were concerns that NYC was becoming increasingly dangerous.)

Apologies for errors - I am largely working on memory and have not confirmed all details above, but there are better sources for that.