#AHH A YEAR ALREADY??
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The No name SMP 1 year anniversary was this week (pretty sure the 8th) so i made some art to celebrate!! (Yes. I was too lazy to fully colour it)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c23f147bfa043216b4906a65c28dd574/19eacc951ecde093-c1/s540x810/0dfb1b599447fd50df5c73d4ca4916038e16d5cc.jpg)
Here’s a little time lapse
#no name smp#fanart#failboat#no name smp fanart#failboat fanart#jaymoji#skipthetutorial#jaymoji fanart#sandiction#branzycraft#branzy fanart#rekrap2#Rekrap fanart#skipthetutorial fanart#sandiction fanart#silly little guy#1 year anniversary#AHH A YEAR ALREADY??#Time makes no sense dawg#digital art#digital drawing#digital illustration
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How could we know we’d rearrange all the cosmos? ᥫ᭡
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d60b704d4974c3f13bc2475a79bc7df1/158c32fd7527bc05-c4/s540x810/449ddf3b02cd8ebb3ebb59ef9104ec77bee1abdf.jpg)
In that snapshot of time, the world was simple. It wasn’t love then, not yet. 2/∞
Thank you @iwachansarm for another beautiful piece. They are so kind and it was a pleasure working with them again! Do not repost/save.
#ahh it’s akademiya ryu and alhaitham!!!!#i was so excited to see my s/i in akademiya garb since this comm actually pertains to my genshinverse lore#look at us! so blissfully unaware that we will be kissing and cuddling some years later#well maybe alhaitham’s crush had already developed here (just a little)#the frangipanis are actually teensy easter eggs to some ryu lore but i’ll get into it another day :^)#i love kay’s style so much#idk why i was afraid of posting this one#ryuhaitham#genshin selfship#genshin self insert#genshin commission#selfship art#my selfships#self ship stuff#genshin oc
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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What did/do you like about Pharah?
Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.
Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).
But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.
There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.
Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.
#i was a diehard pharmercy shipper back then btw#the inherent homoerotic experience of pharmercy gameplay.#the homoerotic experience of looking to the skies to fly to safety under the protection of your knight in shining armor#the homoerotic experience of feeling white hot murderous rage at an enemy trying to pick off your pocket mercy#i still kinda despise gency lmao. you cannot convince me mercy would be in love with genji. at all.#he'd make her feel so uncomfortable and guilty. in my head. the canon is obviously different#gency is sexless. absolutely zero bite or tension.#i could go on about mercy and how her character has so much missed potential#i'm no longer in my overwatch fandom phase but#i still think about that new flirty line they added in ow2 where mercy goes “ahh you're like my knight in shining armor!”#and pharah goes “that's what i'm goin for ;)” and i sigh dreamily#really happy that pharah outright says she's a lesbian too but it's hard to feel good about rep when you know blizzard uses it for pr#to be honest i'm willing to bet cash that blizzard's keeping pharmercy in their back pocket as ammo for the next controversy#last year we already saw logs about pharah fretting and taking care of mercy and the two talking about how good it is to see each other#tbh pharah has the same energy/demeanor as applejack. cheerful and competitive in a can of whoopass#but yeah overall pharah's a pretty shallow character. i have IDEAS on how i'd go about deepening her but. whatever#that's sorta what happens when you have to juggle a cast of 40 characters. a lot get left with the bare minimum#ok so i wrote this entire post up saying that pharah isn't in ow2's storymode when she is. she's in the story i just. forgot#because she doesn't do or contribute anything interesting#ok i'm stopping here. overwatch's story is such an interesting narrative mess i could go on for hours#i dunno how you come up with such incredible character designs and give them such an unincredible story#it's also so so so interesting seeing the conflicting takes on characters the writers have#mercy in gameplay and voicelines is peppy and cheerful and optimistic#but mercy in the storymode journal logs is tired. jaded. a total shut in who forgets to leave her room and social#and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF#ask me#anon
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Okay so this quote from Black Doves is so good I wish I’d written it:
“You have a warm heart and blood on your hands, and that’s not a good combination.”
But the brainrot is so real. A second after I heard it I went: “Fuck, that’s Q.”
Thinking about that time Ben Whishaw said Q was warmer than anyone would expect him to be. Thinking about him saying care and concern is at the core of Q and Bond’s relationship, despite all the aggravation. Thinking about him saying Q was just trying to find some sort of balance between home and work life.
This man has a real knack for playing morally grey characters who have a strong, beating heart.
#sorry i'm shutting off reblogs for this because i don't want it doing the rounds#but feel free to drop your opinions in the replies or in my inbox#I have Thoughts on Black Doves#it’s a very beautiful show and oh my god that scene with sam and michael in the latter half of episode three !!!!!!!!!#some of the best tv i've seen all year i shit you not#my heart was in my throat#but I do think the show draws on tropes and characters that already feel familiar in its genre#and i think whoever's written this has had a good look at ben's previous role as q and dc's bond#and wondered how to make characters like that exist in a morally grey world#idk maybe i've just watched too much espionage-related media#the dialogue and the writing don't always seem realistic to me (i'm saying this as if 100% of the writing in bond ever did lmao)#still BD has some incredible moments of brilliance and i'm glad i'm watching it#anyway jesus that one fucking line AHH#so so good
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At the risk of being 2024's biggest clown jester, but uhhhhhh... they might have confirmed that we'll be getting the miharu arc in this season? Matoba's voice line in the trailer (which sounds a lot like the one from chapter 92) ended up being different (accurately adapted from chapter 89.5 instead) when that scene aired in this week's episode! 🥳
#life already made me a fool out of myself this year but i truly hope that this prediction (?) won't be wrong 🥲#thanking user sarukui for pointing that out months ago!!! been waiting for a confirmation for so long and this is the closest we'll get 🥹#crazy how we got miharu's subtle confirmation but a hand extended is still up in the air... i need that injected to my bloodstream too 🥲💔#anyway. yeaaay miharu ❤️ yeaaay i hate my life bench ❤️ yeaaay post-exorcism proposal-ahh offer scene ❤️#natsume yuujinchou#natsume yuujinchou s7#natsuyuu s7#natsume's book of friends#natsuyuu#natsuyuu spoilers#natsuyuu manga#natsumanga#matoba seiji#natsume takashi
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He has that smugass face on because he knows how much pain I'm in trying to draw this
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fb7565ecf7a0b8a1d53ac2bb6fe5c8d3/e1618d461f1f99f6-8f/s540x810/06cb78c14766f0c2e3068b5c6abeb5598e9f3cb4.jpg)
#the thing is I already drew a sketch for this like#half a year ago#and I went like. huh I can just salvage and reuse that no problem!!#actually a problem because now the proportions and anatomynis all fucked#this is just trusting the process#i trusted it with Monster so I shall trust it once more here#god I hate him sm/aff#littol doodl#''cranky cuz you cant get the lines right?'' ahh face
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Finaly
After 10 months of hwbing this little guy
I made a COMPLETE ref sheet for the silly (my dear BLU scout)
Sorry if its kinda weird ☹️
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 blu scout#its the silly#hes so silly#😔😔😔😔#silly ahh guy#😔😔😔😔😔#i love him somucj#i cannot believe hes turning 1 this year already 😞#blu scout lore??!?1?#cassoli arts
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maybe you should doodle however many or few starcon/helix/damned characters as you like (in human or alien form) in cute halloween costumes! imagine... ZEX dressed up as Ariel thelittlemermaid...
Day 26 - "I hadn't realized humans also had aquatic subcultures!" "Oh, well, uhm..."
#My art#Requestober#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#The Captain#You can't tempt me like this I'm too weak to it agh#I am sorely convinced that with a Slightly longer time frame to work on this I would've gone with my first idea#It was way overly-ambitious for a less-than-24-hour time limit but hhghhh I /do/ want to draw everyone in cute costumes!!!#Super doesn't help that I very broke my sleep schedule and like as soon as this came in I fell asleep for three hours lol#And was still tired!!! That's just not fair says I#But I still managed >:3c Because I limited my scope haha but that's important too!! And it still turned out cute!!!#I mean how couldn't it - ZEX as The Little Mermaid is just-#I'm enamoured it's so perfect for him..........what an excellent idea...........definitely not going to be thinking about this for A While#Funnily enough my immediate thought was actually angst haha - the mermaid has to give up her voice! What would ZEX give up?#That he hasn't already anyhow - and then thoughts of reviving Zelnick but selfishly I just hhghgh I love himm I love themmmm#For now the cutes tho!!!!#It tickles me so bad that a significant portion of Damned takes place in October hehe <3 ZEX arrived in November but still!#And then the Halloween event to get their canon outfits back fjdskalfjd ahhh!!!#I'm many many years too late lol but there's something very lovely about the theme continuing ahh <3 <3#Oh yeah and there's also two others in costume here lol - the Captain's was easy haha <3 Dashing prince! He suits it ♪#For DAX lol at first I considered Triton? But he's not quite That bad about ZEX's human infatuation#Not that he's as admissive or manipulative as Ursula either - at some point it might've just become ''I want to see him in it'' lol#He's so happy about it haha <3#Can you tell I had fun with ZEX's costume lol - sparklies!!! Had fun with the glitter on his shoes :D#I Will find a place to use my scale brush anywhere and everywhere and that's a threat#I wonder what ZEX would think of human animation haha - I only remember there being one movie night at the Institute!#Surely Disney would get the greenlight to be played in the Sun Room! ZEX having a transcendent ''seen'' experience aw <3
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ramble ahead about time, tatinof, 2015 and changing one's life
tatinof is very special and im so happy they did this video to acknowledge that its not cringe at all and that theyre proud of their past selves !! there's sth genuinely healing about that !! ive had a hard time in 2015 and even tho i was 12/13 and just discovered that online fan communities of things i was into were a thing and was nowhere close to the phandom (i joined after BIG), this is the fandom internet that i joined back then. thats why its so poetic that they sing 'the internet is here', because to me this is the time it started to be there for me. it wasnt always kind to me and instagram was not a great platform to start on if your bullies and other ppl from school were also on it, but it was also when for the first time ever i realised that there were not only people who liked what i liked but that those ppl also have created their own culture and community online !! i was not totally alone !! there is a life outside of school !! i would never chose to go back to that time ever like it was horrible (that applies to any time in the past tho, i hate the idea of 'going back in time' with a passion) but im glad that the internet was there for me because no one else really was if im being real with you.
more below the cut because im an insufferable yapper (dan is a terrible influence haha tit joke)
this all is maybe why i find it hard to go back to watch dnps older content and also the stuff from the tatinof era. dan's sarcastic self-hating persona and phils innocent nerd persona are both hitting a bit too close to home and i want to both cry for them and for myself. we knew nothing back then. we were lost and yet did sth we were proud of. yet here we are almost 10 years later and how the fuck did we end up here but oh my god im so proud of us. all it took for me was to watch dan's coming out video. all it took for them was to be embraced and loved by their audience (us). dan also needed a break which is something that at the time it happend was really hard for me but then i found my wonderful lovely phannie discord friends here. we really all got here together and if i ever see any single person say that dnp hate us or dan hates it or that dnp are cringe or that we are cringe etc etc i will block you so hard because what are you even doing bringing up drama when in reality dan and phil and the phandom have developed the most remarkable symbiotic relationship between artist adn fans ever. they are our dads and i honestly just want to say how fucking proud i am of them for how far theyve come and what theyve done since 2015. dan really did the whole mental health and gay thing but then he did the mental health again!! and i think ywgttn and wad need to be given more credit here because idk if you remember pre-wad dan but he wasnt anything like post wad dan. every since wad he seems so happy and genuinely authetic and in peace. (im ignoring dystopia daily here because that was filmed before wad and his dd persona also reminds me too much of 2015 depressed dan than whatever high concept he was going for lol, im just not a dd fan). like wad changed his relationship with us and its warming my entire heart when i see dan smile so much now. he deserves to be happy and proud. and if dan deserved it after going through so much and coming out on top (literally), then i deserve it too. and phil? i love how he's just so confident now. fuck. (literally). he is not the innocent nerd anymore like he actually is fully really himself now and feels comfortable in his body (crop top, phlonde, etc) and openly expressing his sexuality ! even compare this phil to phil from the beginning of the hiatus!! he got so much more confident and relaxed since then!! like fully, really, if he can do it, if he can strip himself of the persona that ppl have attributed to him because of his anxiety, then i can do that too. im so proud of phil. he is an inspiration and the more he's being himself publically with no shame, the more an autistic phannie will feel hopeful for their future. im so proud of both of them.
like its crazy you go through your life thinking you're going nowhere and never making any progress and will never reach your goals but then you stop and look back what you were like 6 months ago and realise how many lives you have lived since then. it always goes back to BIG when dan said this:
[...] I thought I was trapped in a situation forever when in reality, the entire world I lived in and my life changed completely. I thought it was hopeless when in reality there was so much to hope for and that's it. Time changes everything. With the lives that we have, we can try anything we've dreamed of. I want anyone that's ever felt like this to realize you are never trapped. There is always hope. You just need to believe in yourself and get to the other side.
this everyone, changed my life. and i will never be able to thank dan enough for it, no matter how much i pay for tour tickets, how often i watch their videos or share my love for them on here. i just want to mention this because its never just 'light entertainment', it means the world to many of us and we have build a wonderful and loving community despite the hardships of the past and pointless discourses of the present. like, we can change shit for ourselves because we see these gay idiots do it who have done soooo fucking much in the last 15 years like they were on radio 1 and on a hollywood billboard and hosted various big big events. and yet, they decided they want to use their time to do things for themselves and their community. they have said many times that they havent made a profit from (parts of) their tours but they do it regardless. they do really love us and i dont think ive ever really felt loved by people who i was in a fandom for like that. its really not as parasocial as it might seem anymore. we got here together and we should be proud of that. i love dnp and i love you phannies so much !! 💕💕💕💕💕
#i hope they react to ii next because ive actually watched that one a lot and am a bit more emotionally connected to it#(because i joined the phandom after big i didnt experience any of the joint tours in real time but ii was still relativeley timely in#summer 2019 so i ended up watching it a lot)#the beginning of the post is making it sound like i never went online before 2015 but oh boy thats so not true ahaaaha#this is just when i made my ig and twitter account (dont tell elon yes i already did serve 7 days in twitter jail for lying about my age an#then got the account back its all fine)#i started watching minecraft videos in 2011 and also knew how to use the internet before that bc we had internet lessons in primary school#yes it was very cool and yes the child safe search engines that we were taught to search on havent existed for 10 years#this took me over an hour to write after midnight i need to sleep ahh#sage posting#dnp#phan#dan and phil#daniel howell#amazingphil
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this has to be the busiest month of my life 😵💫
#so much exciting shit coming up aahhh#just spent the weekend with my mom.. then had a family get together for thanksgiving.. which was super fun!#went shopping this morning with my mom for a dress to wear to mine and my bf's anniversary dinner next week#i'm picking up my freakin engagement ring on thursday 😵💫#this weekend i have a hair appointment.. d&d.. and board game night with friends#gettin my nails done next week with my mom 💅 idek what i want yet ahhhh#then my bf and i leave for our ✨engagement trip✨ next thursday! which is also our 11 year anniversary!!!#have so many fun things booked for our trip#then once we get home my parents are taking us out to celebrate#then we're visiting my nana to share the news#then we're seeing his parents to celebrate#ahh i cannot believe we're gonna be engaged in 9 days 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫.. i'm gonna have to start referring to my bf as my fiance#which is so weird!! to me!! he's been my bf for 11 years lmao#my mom and i were discussing the wedding today.. she thinks i should be reaching out to venue's already#so today i emailed a few#bf and i have already started planning a honeymoon lmao#ah life is so crazy right now
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2ef855726885aabab2c61ec5d9678b7c/5eaf577eb10ffe72-00/s540x810/9ce774882aa31db2450cb4a56eb26a1eb0e7a362.jpg)
Today I found this thing while going through my old photos. I just think it should be here.
#that thingy is already one year old#and you know what#nothing changed in my perception of peter and especially his silly ahh portraits#almost#especially that one portrait when he's 14 years old or so#i 100% sure that this sketch was inspired by this one in particular#my art#scribbles#sketch#peter iii of russia
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Graduated today! I don't have a sona or anything so here's a pic of my last big college film's characters as celebration
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me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects
#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar#no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new#but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me'#i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term#so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now#so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but#it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out#that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance#so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial#but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal#although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive#i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary#ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness#which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days#and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself#im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles#but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy#and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me#i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this#i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself#im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body#im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up#and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe!#so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please#and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching#between numbness and overwhelming agony#what the fuck am i talking about
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if you have a second as you pass by, please send any good vibes/prayers/thoughts my mom’s way~
it’s time for her to go back to the doctor tomorrow, and it would be really great if we don’t get thrown any curveballs! ;-;
(my goodness, that 3 months flew by... o.o)
#personal#after that disaster of a doctor's appointment last year we're always even more on edge for these appointments ahh#thank you guys for always being here for my mom and me!#your support really means a lot to her for these appointments...and i've gotten to where i depend on it too! ;-;#so much love to all of you lovelies!!#tell me what you've been up to lately too c:#i can't believe it's already been three months again omg#time is nonexistent gosh
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Symperilamvanon Panton Cosmos - Semper Clara Stella
Birthday gift for a friend, but posted here early so keep it a secret
#arterna#docas constellation#My beautiful talented son <3#I am kind of artblocked so I went for a simple drawing so as to not tire me out too much#Annual constellation drawing though last year's was much more technically impressive ahh#Made these bday gifts in advance this year because i won't be home and I can never know how my energy will be down the line oof#Don't let gloomy know i have hers ready already but I might draw one extra Glow as a bonus hehe#Oh and the funny words mean All Encompassing Cosmos and Eternally Bright Stella
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