#ABLE TO BUY THE RIGHTS TO IT AND I JUST.
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#julie and the phantoms#pls have this meme#woke up this morning and the news from the convention were REAL#and im still not okay about it 😭#like WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE EERR SUPPOSED TO HAVE 5 SEsons. FIVE. THATS FOUR MORE SEASONS OF ORIGINAL MUSIC AND JUKE AND THE MOLINA FAMILY AND#SIGNS SISJJS#i literally found out the news last night while playing board games and drinking with my friends and straight up started crying because i wa#so emotional about it. i thought I WAS OKAY EITH NOT KNOWING HOW JATP ENDS BUT NOW IM EVEN MORE MAD THAT IT WAS CANCELLED AND KENNY WASNT#ABLE TO BUY THE RIGHTS TO IT AND I JUST.#but mainly im so happy we get this kind of closure and it must not have been easy for kenny and the producers to have had known this info#and idk. im just glad this is the closure we got.#also madi in the stand tsll jacket? ohmygod.#also hello from the dead aka my queue.#text post
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Fishnet Friday! (from the drafts!)
Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me
#It is only just 7am. Too early for fishnets yet. I am going to the pub this evening so I shall wear fishnets then.#You can expect pics from that! It's gonna be sabine's first pub trip so we won't be out long and I'll have plenty of time for pics after ✨#This was such a look tho. I can't wait to try another look with this set#satans knitwear#alt pinup#pinup girl#Fishnet Friday#Fishnet tights#cheeky#pretty lingerie#Gloves#My gif to you#Any tips or treats would be massively appreciated right now 💕#I'm going to the pub with my parents so they will want to buy the rounds but I would very much like to be able to contribute 😅🍻
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wonderful
#there is a ranboo that goes withthis but i didn't like how he was looking imma restart from scratch tmrw😭😭#ctubbo#michael beloved#ctubbo fanart#Guys you have no idea what i went through today like it wa fucking crazy i need to share this#so i went to the mall after school right and im going home at like 8 on the train with my friend bc i was supposed to be picked up ay her#stop right but then im told to just go to my stop and take the bus and im like ok sure but the problem is my phone is on SEVEN PERCENT and w#hen i get to the stop my moms like u have money for the bus right and im like ueah and i check and i have NO MONEY#BUT I DIDNT TELL HER ANUTHING BC I DIDNT WANT HER TI GET MAD BC I KNEW SHE WOUDKNT WANT ME TO WALK ALL THE WAY HOME AT NIGHT (FOURTY BLOCKS#So im like ok im getting on the bus now my phone is on four percent i have to WALK HOME allll that way and there's this crazy ass upward hi#ll that's like ten blocks long ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD but like my mom thinks im on the bus so im trying to speed walk as fast as i can and i#RAWDOGGED it too because MU PHONE WAS GOING TO IDE!!!!#I made it home at two percent U guys i was so proud of myself thank u for listening#IM SO MAD IT WOUKDVE BEEN OKAY IF I WASNT IN A RUSH And also if i had music uggghhh Whatever#I bought this really cute skirt at garage hold on let me find it#lexi pleated skort color Navy blue ITS SOOOO CUTE got some new leg warmers too yesss....#I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSIT APP i woukdve been able to attach my apple pay and buy the stupid ticket if my phonewasnnt#too dead to do al that...#Guys always make sure u carry cash with yiu goodbye
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For real tho health freaks who scream about how sugar and salt will kill us all and try to push for restrictions on things like candy and chips for SNAP recipients or politicians who try from time to time to replace food stamps all together and give out Government Approved Staples like bread and peanut butter and Government Cheese are gonna kill a whole lotta sick and disabled people like
Diabetics
POTS sufferers
Hypotensives
People with peanut allergies
People with celiac disease or wheat allergies
The lactose intolerant
People who can't eat solid food
People who are undernourished for any reason and need all the calories they can pack on
So-called "picky eaters" who can't tolerate certain tastes and textures without getting violently ill
A myriad of other human conditions that cannot be neatly tallied into categories because the human body and human experience is vast and infinitely variable
But I don't think ableds really care about us and our health like they like to claim so they can harass us about it, do you?
#tag yourself I'm five out of ten#health food is gonna kill me one day i swear to God#vasovagal syncope/POTS was actually a fun disease to have since the treatment is honestly junk food#to get my sugar and sodium levels up quickly so i don't pass out#but then the United States government in their infinite compassion slashed my food stamps in half#and now i can't afford 'luxeries' like enough chips and candy i need to not faint and concuss myself. again#add the celiac and to a lesser extent the lactose intolerancy and now two fruit allergies...#and I'm paying three times the amount for like fifteen food items and that is accounting for the food inflation even ableds are facing#whatever food shortages ableds are going thru right now i swear to you it's much much worse if you're sick/disabled#stop policing what food people buy with the money their given i don't care if it's a paycheck or welfare#SOMETIMES I'll get a pitiful and defensive 'well how was i supposed to know?!' when i confront people bugging me about this#you don't know so shut your trap about it in the first place#most people just ignore the reason and accuse me of making up excuses to eat 'unhealthy' foods tho#health nut#ableism#systemic ableism#food#Salt blessed Salt
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those damn jeans~🎃
#JUST HEM THEM#OR BUY THE RIGHT INSEAM#those are like four whole fucking inches too long.#i’m his height.#i am able to find and wear the correct inseam#frank pls#he looks so tired and cute#i wanna smoosh his face and wrap him in many soft blankets#frnkiebby#frank iero#mcr#mcr5#frnkiero#mcrmy#frnkie#my chemical romance#my chem
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sometimes i think about how much of a waste it was to just have cas ignoring sam’s prayers in s6 instead of him actually not being able to hear him bc he was soulless and his prayers didn’t work
#there should have been more side effects of literally not having a soul other than sam just being a sociopath#the whole point of the season was how souls themselves are power right#so its not a leap to asume any supernatural anything a human is able to do or conjure would be powered by the soul#so why not make it that the soul is what powers prayers#or powers exorcisms and summonings and rites#imagine if sam couldnt make holy water anymore#or exorcise demons which he doesnt care about bc hed just use the knife anyway#but it would make things difficult for him#just this added hassle of having to buy holy water and needing the cambels to do rites for him that he just cant#i know cas ignores him for guilt reasons but imagine if that first prayer from dean is how he realises he brought sam back soulless#maybe he just thought sam was ignoring him and had gone on to live the normal life he always wanted#then that guilt of thinking he saved him just to realise how badly he fucked up along with the guilt of working with crowley??#huge missed opportunity#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#carry on my wayward son#sam winchester#castiel#dean winchester#destiel#supernatural#spn
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Okay Here Is The Problem: everything costs money and yet money is something that i just literally never have. solution? kill the idea of money so that nothing costs anything Please. i'm so tired
#despite making more money w/ my commissions than ever before this year#i am still. not able to save up literally even one (1) single penny of it bc of bills#i have to make like 600 every month just to break even at like 5 dollars in my acct#please i am so fucking tired#i want to get myself things and do shit#i want to buy things for archie and jack's dog and for the house so that things are better for all of us#i want to be able to afford snacks more than once every three months like if i maybe want a bag of chips#instead of saving up for three months and going 'yeah okay 5 dollars for a normal sized bag of chips is finally worth it' ?????????????????#why the fuck are chips so expensive that is potatoes and spices and like all of it is automated hello?? what are we fucking paying for?????#ANYWAYS.#i am just fucking. Tired#due to recent events I was like#'okay how much are dog treadmills.... oh. i see. i will never be able to afford that even after three years saving. got it'#there are five hundred fundraisers on my dash (BARELY hyperbole) every single day and everybody needs help#so i COMPLETELY get people not having a ton of disposable funds this isn't me complaining about that i'm just.#i wish that i sometimes had money so that i could MAYBE save anything up or y'know. have ANYTHING to show for it#bc right now i am working full time at this job (commission/freelance artist and adopt maker etc) and making like maybe 4 dollars an hour#which is great bc when i started i was only getting about $0.11 an hour but like. that's still not. Good. For all the time i put into it#but due to circumstances and situations this is about all i'm physically and mentally able to do here and i LIKE doing commission but it's#not really. getting me anywhere and i just want to afford things finally.#i'm 27 and everything i own fits in one room and almost all of it was gifted to me for free bc i couldn't afford to get it on my own#delete later i'm just so tired man
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Got my first display tab! And the first thing I tested it with is an anime Connie sketch lol.
HUGE thank you to my supporters at Ko-fi, as that's where I got the funds. 😊😊🤗💕
Seems needed time to get used to, and I use more shortcut keys than the number of shortcut buttons on the tab; but I am already loving the it so far! My laptop, on the other hand, is not handling it too well. 😅
#I did kind of expect the laptop to act like it is right now. Which was another reason for buying a cheaper display tab to save up more on#a new laptop.#I got an Xp Pen 13 by the way!#It's looking great so far#The screen is much more closer to my face now tho. Lol#The colors come out different than both my laptop screen and cellphone. 🤔#But I think the xp pen has too much red tint?#Anyway. I have to tuck the XP pen for the moment. Not just because I needed a better laptop. I'm in the middle of doing commissions and#can't do those while still getting used to the laptop ...while also dealing with the lag.#The laptop's power drains even faster with the display tab and it lags even quicker the more layers I add. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#Laptop can't handle it very well.#Connie Maheswaran#SU#my shiz#Xp Pen#Thank you to my ko-fi supporters!!!!!!!💕💕💕#This was a screenshot redraw by the way. Or at least a screenshot redraw of a scene by memory.#You know the scene.#I wish I was able to make Connie look more pissed off tho. Lol#I also used the tab for a some of the sketches of my current commissions and I am so sad that I can't use it throughout the process.#It's so much easier doing the sketches with it than on the screenless tab! But it also lags. Orz
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My family hasn't gotten any deli meat or cheese from the store for weeks (which makes creating a decent lunch for myself much harder) but there are currently four cartons of milk in the fridge right now. Impeccable prioritization
#It wasn't like they bought a pack of them either#They already had two cartons of milk and decided to buy two more#I do like milk and it's genuinely one of the better calorie sources I have right now#But come on man this is just silly#Everything would be so much easier if I was able to just buy my own food#Krafter Talks
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... why he sit like this
#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little#rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo#cats#It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually#getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol#Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime#I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad.#Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering#all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty#e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time#that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense#that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh#I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol#which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything#I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still#recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually#slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.'#ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever#reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished#any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky#and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly#going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et#etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make#stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin#.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care#and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists.#take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc#ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it#82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol......#ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol
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ok i have never bought anything from amazon and ive never preordered a game, does anyone have the slightest idea if i preorder sxsg on there, will it be delivered in a timely manner? since i live in poland? i can have like a week to play it after the games releases but i just don't know if preordering is worth the money if in the end i'll get it a month from now or something.. (i want the physical copy)
#ive never even heard of any of the other options listed#sowwy idk what gamestop is or video games plus efdvfdfgbfdfx#i really want to play it on release day cause i dont want to miss all the excitement for once#but if it doesnt get delivered right on time then there's no point and its just a waste of money#next time ill be able to play will be freaking next summer i guess so ill be able to buy a used copy easily i think#MAYBE christmas but i never actually have the time so probably not#idk im thinking about getting the digital edition but its no fun i want the box and stuff#and maybe one day ill fucking pawn it or something come onnnn
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just got stopped by the transit security (normal) and then got pulled aside (unusual) because apparently i look older now than i do in my student id (it’s linked to my bus pass) like 😭 cmon man thats my face four years ago ofc i look older now
#sun rambles#the id even has date issued so yk do the math 😣#they thought im illegally using my ‘previous’ student account to buy the student pass 💀#just the overall set up of this is stupid. u fining ppl for using any available resources? its the same shit as not being able to use ur#student acc to have access to research articles when u graduate#its such a weird situation like yk i paid for those at least give me 10 years post-grad still or smthn#idk i just didnt the day right and the bad vibes are accumulating
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i need a job
#^ he looked at a bunch of lolita dresses#maybe j could have One expensive hobby. Once i get my apartment#i was thinking abt maybe spending my bday christmasnmoney.... my papaw gave me 100 for christmas and i got 20 for helping dogsit dozer#so i currently have 120 dollars In my life. technically its like 121.37 or some shit I dont check my bank acct bc it makes me want to vommy#but once the bday money clmes in i might be able to get somethjng nice But it would be more responsible to save it for my apartment But i#have moments of weakness frequently so if i try to save it i may end up Instead making a bunch of small stupid shitty purchases instead of#spending it on something i rly want. you know ...#idk it just doesnt feel right for me to spend my bday/christmas money on something so frivolous Dont yell at me i know it just feels like i#isnt rly my money to spend . sigh#oh its eating me for this. Disclaimer the real reason i need a job is so i can help my family and help pay mortgage and buy groceries and#also save up to move out so that im not being a burden on them anymore and this is a moment of me being irresponsible and wanting to spend#money on myself but thats only in a hypothetical scenario where im fully moved out and also have money leftover After helping my family .#and donating and doing good things . and Then is when id maybe buy myself a little treat every couple of months#okay .
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Me as a kid: I can't buy any games
Me as an adult: I can't afford any games
#I mean ... If I play my cards right I could buy 1 game a month#but then I also need things like clothes and food and shoes#very much need these#but I wish I could buy more games and just be able to buy games right as they come out#adulting#adulthood#childhood#video games#multicolour ink
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Okay children, gather around. It's "Spencer Complains and Acts a Little Mad" Time:
I have been raw dogging life for 1 month without my adhd/depression/anxiety/mood stabilizers medication and without a single Therapy appointment
I haven't left my house in 1 month, I haven't spoken to any of my (in person) friends in over 1 month, I haven't seen my family in 1 month, I haven't seen my bloody cat in over 1 month, I've barely left my bloody room in over 1 month, and I've been listening to my bloody voice almost every day for 1 hour so I can finish editing the bloody podcast for over a month
To top it all of: I haven't had a decent night's sleep in about 4 days now (in which I just don't sleep or I have extremely vivid nightmares with my departed mother and/or scenarios where I die over and over and over again but can't speak to ask for help before it happens - fun for all the family, if you ask me) and I might or might not be completely and absolutely going insane, with only Good Omens season 1 (6/6) and season 2 (5/6) and the existence of Crowley/red haired Fire Pokemon David Tennant Edition being my sole producer of any amount of serotonin
How am I alive? Good question. Beautiful genderfluid demonic content can be some very nice very distracting content for individuals that simp for Fire Type David Tennant Pokemon like myself
I am quite sure my only contact with anything mental health related in the past weeks has been my best friend whom is very very annoying and refuses to leave me the heck alone and whom is a nurse and is working extra time to advice my stupid ass the best she can, bless her heart
So, with my personal nurse's permission, I have doubled my sleeping medication for the night and, as Fall Out Boy once wrote for the song "Alone Together" in one of my favorite albums to have ever been created "Save Rock and Roll": I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead
#i took so long writing this nonesense for no other reason other than the fact its 2 am and no one makes good decisions at 2 am#that i am actually already feeling sleepy#if my best friend actually manages to give me 1 good nights sleep i will kiss that woman in the mouth and get hitched with her in ibiza#jk shes straight as shit and shes like a sister to me so that scenario is making me cringe but the sentiment prevails#alas dont do drugs unless your doctor tells you to kids#or your nurse best friend#bro im getting so sleepy the word “nurse” aint even looking right anymore#is that even a real word#yes#google says it is#it is not about viking mythology like a thought for about 2 seconds#okay good good nice nice#anyway#i talked about you know what so i have to tag this post for my adhd sake#good omens#crowley#anthony j crowley#david tennant#there#in case anyone cares about a post that mentions crowley for 1 second while in rhe middle of a whole ass sleep drug inflicted rant#lowkey kinda sure ive writen more in the tags now than the damn post jesus christ#hopefully ill be able to have money to buy my medication on the 12th and ill be somewhat mentally stable by the 14th#which means i might actually upload my fanfic next tuesday if my brain is working again#night peeps dont let the bed bugs bite#idk what im saying anymore#my closet just banged by itself and now im scared#sully?#mike?#bo?
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also like i partially found out i might be intersex because i was looking at trans stuff and there was like "(however many) months on t and finally seeing some bottom growth" and like pictures of t-dicks and i was like.... um.... that's kind of just what my clit looks like anyways. so i was like "hey google give me a quick rundown on this" and learned what clitoromegaly was and then i was like. hm. intersex resources. and it's like a sign? symptom? side-effect? of certain intersex conditions
#i mean like pcos runs in the mums side of my family but i dont have all the symptoms of that#i do also have like. more hair?? than the average afab person#like dark hair on my stomach and chest and back#and my face. whats disappointing about the face hair is that it isnt enough to be able to grow a beard#so i cant even fuck with gender that way#tagging as nsft just because of like genital mention#genital mention#nsft#shoutout to transmascs on t who show their t-dicks on the internet it was really helpful#also i dont know how to describe it but like. my natural face shape is kind of masculine??#like it would be plausible for a cis amab perisex man to have my face without looking feminine#if you get what im saying??#if it sounds like im reinforcing sex or gender essentialism please say i am struggling to find words#unshoutout to the boys in primary school who made fun of me for having hair under my arms and starting a whole decade of insecurity-#-about having hair on my body lmao#for the record i dont think certain face shapes are indicative of gender and all im just going by like. patterns?? in afab vs. amab faces#also not that i think afab vs. amab is the entire categorisation of human sex characteristics but um. working with what vocab i have here#i think what also really kicked it off. was relating to a fair few experiences intersex people have socially#particularly intersex ppl who were afab and faced a lot of pressure to make their bodies conform to feminine beauty standards#and it was like.... oh lol.... my mum did that to me!!#it comes from her own internalised shit bc she has pcos (idk if she identifies as intersex even tho she could if she wanted) but still.#dont project that onto a 10 yr old lmao. she keeps buying me hair removal products#ALSO floored by an experience i have. in which apparently half my friends dont feel pressure to shave their legs#because the hair on their legs is like. light and thin and barely visible and i was like?? huh??#what do you MEAN your legs don't look like your brothers/fathers if you dont shave??#im starting to think they dont shave their arms. their arms might just naturally not have a load of hair#i dont shave my arms though. cannot be bothered with that and also like. why would i do that#also you know that like. happy trail i think its called?? on “men's” stomachs??#yeah i have that naturally yeah thats right im naturally sexy#if you cant tell i am putting “girls” “mens” “boys” “womens” etc. in quotes to indicate that is just the normal society way of saying it
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