#AAAAAAAAAAA IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG

[sugarsweetvirgo]

First Encounters

[punkinspice]

CHAPTER 4 IS FINALLY OUT!!!

[elizaditton]

Too Small To Be Afraid (Chapter 13)

Links:

Cover / Master Post / Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

- - - - - - - - - -

I hardly absorbed any information at all during seventh period Koronian since I was so fixated on Derrick knowing about my fear. How long has he known about it? What does 'helping' me mean? What does he have planned for when we meet behind the school? Questions like these continue to bounce around in my mind as I stand on the balcony beside Brittney, not at all engaged in the conversation she's having with our deskmates.

I've only known Derrick for about a week, and he's already found out about my fear. I feel like an idiot. If my fear was this obvious to him, how obvious has it been to other pertheans?

What about the receptionist in the perthean lobby at the apartment? Did evading nearly all her questions make it obvious that I have a fear?

What about Mrs. Hudson, the perthean co-principal? Could she tell how frightened I was when I entered her office for the first time? Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if Dad told her about my fear, since they've been friends since they were deskmates in high school.

What about Kevin? I haven't been able to stop myself from shaking whenever he's around! And the way he looks at me... it's always like he's staring straight into my soul! Does he know I have a fear? Does he resent me for it? And not only is he Brittney's boyfriend—he's friends with Derrick, too... would either Brittney or Derrick tell him about my fear?

Kevin looks up from his phone, and his narrowed brown eyes pierce right through me. I'm unable to tear my eyes away from his as my whole nervous system is overtaken by relentless shuddering. What's he going to think now?

A hand rests on my shoulder, catching me completely off guard and causing me to flinch. I gasp and turn to the side to find an irritated looking Brittney.

"Hello?!" She says. "Earth to Kaylin!"

I blink a few times, trying to wrap my head around what she just said. "...Earth?" I finally ask.

"Well, I guess here it would be 'Perthea to Kaylin,' but you know what I mean!"

I slowly shake my head, not having the slightest clue as to what Brittney means at all. I look to Derrick to see if he has any idea what she's talking about. He shrugs.

Kevin sighs. "You and your Earthling vernacular."

"Hey!" Brittney says, stomping, "it's not my fault that I don't know which planet to use which phrases on!"

"You should still be careful with phrases like that, especially on Earth," Kevin says. "If a fed on Earth heard you say something was 'as red as a rotizelle,' they'd be all over you."

"Yeah, well... at least that won't be a problem soon," Brittney says with a sorrowful look in her eye as she crosses her arms.

Brittney, Kevin, and Derrick share a knowing look. I remember Brittney telling me back in stage two that she was from Earth, but aside from that, I have no idea what anyone's talking about.

"Um..." I pipe up, awkwardly breaking the silence between the four of us. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Oh! Well, it's a long story... I can fill you in later," Brittney says, pulling out her phone. "Great Barrier Reef! It's already 3:17! I better get going! Bye, you guys!"

Brittney waves at Kevin, Derrick and I briefly before speeding off.

"Brittney!" I call out to no avail. "What's a barrier reef?!"

"Well," Kevin says, eyes glued to his phone again, "I better get going, too. You know how my mom gets."

He fist bumps Derrick and turns away, not even sparing me a passing glance as I stand on the balcony wondering how it is his mom gets.

Once Kevin and Brittney are gone, Derrick turns to me and smiles. "I'll see you out back," he says with a wink before turning and walking away from the balcony.

I gulp, shivers running down my spine. What is it I signed up for?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I glance at myself in the mirror I hung inside my locker. I don't look that nervous, do I? My twitching eyes and trembling lip say otherwise. I heave a shuddering sigh and close my locker door. It's useless. I don't know how I'll ever get over this stupid fear. I don't know what Derrick had in mind when he said he wanted to help me, but whatever it is, what good could it possibly do? After years upon years of journaling, meditation, and not to mention therapy, I've found that nothing has helped to cure me of my fear. So whatever Derrick has in mind, I'm almost certain it won't do me any good. I'm going to be afraid of pertheans forever!

With every step I take on the path to my destination, I grow more and more faint. My legs wobble like jelly, and my insides reduce to mush. My mind swarms with questions and anxieties about this meeting. Is it really safe for a human to be meeting with a perthean alone? Does Derrick really want to help me, or does he have it in for me? Am I going to make it out of this meeting alive?

I shake my head. Of course I'm going to make it out of this meeting alive! Derrick and I are friends after all, and I'm sure he has no intent to hurt me. He probably just wants to help, like he said.

As I'm thinking through these things, the image of that twisted grin plastered across my deskmate's face comes to my mind.

"Let me help you, Kaylin," I imagine Derrick saying. "When I'm through with you, you won't feel a thing ever again!"

My head quickly twists from side to side. I can't go through with this! I can't go out there and let him do whatever he wants to me! I have to get away now while I still can! I stop dead in my tracks, turning away from the hallway that leads to behind the school and run as fast as I can to the elevators that go down to the lobby.

After a moment of standing around, a mechanical whirr reaches my ears. A tone sounds on the overhead speaker, and the door in front of me slides open. Keeping my head down, I board the elevator with some other students.

My heart sinks as I step into the cabin. I'm running away. Again. Is this all I know how to do?

The image of Derrick smiling flashes in my mind. This time, it's the smile he gave me when he told me he wanted to help me. There was compassion in his eyes. I could see it. I could feel it. I think back to his words. 'Let me help you...'

I place a hand on the elevator door as it begins to shut, to the surprise of the other students.

"Sorry," I say. "I... forgot something."

I exit the elevator, turn the corner, and head straight down the hall until I happen upon a set of doors. Doors like these that lead outside of buildings are usually marked as emergency exits, since humans usually dwell in the undercity unless they leave through a proper exit. These doors, however, don't share any markings with the emergency exits I've seen around this school. So, if I'm right, they shouldn't sound an alarm.

I take a deep breath and exhale. This is it. No more running away. I crack open one of the doors and peer into the outside world, wondering what awaits me on the other side.

I immediately shield my eyes. It's so bright out here! Right when I think I'm adjusted to this foreign place, a wind carrying the early spring chill blows right through me, leaving me covered in goosebumps. I wince, rubbing my arms forcefully. I didn't miss being above ground.

"I was starting to think you wouldn't come," Derrick says.

My heartbeat quickens as I look up at my deskmate. He's standing a few perthean yards away from the balcony, which I find a bit strange. His hands are tucked away in his pockets, and his gaze is fixed on the ground.

"I-I..." I cough, hoping it'll stop my stuttering. "I had some trouble finding the exit."

"I see," Derrick says.

He keeps his eyes fixated on the ground, and only looks up at me for a brief moment before turning his eyes back to the concrete. He takes a deep breath and holds it in briefly before exhaling.

"Um," he finally says, breaking the silence between us. "I already asked you this before, but... I want to hear your answer."

Derrick shifts in place before locking eyes with me. I already know what he's going to ask, yet I can't stop my heart from pounding and pounding! And I don't know if it's because of the cold Carmen air or just because I'm so nervous, but I can't stop shivering!

"Kaylin," Derrick asks, "are you afraid of me?"

My insides contort into a knot. Why am I so nervous? I already told him earlier! Maybe it's just that I don't want to tell a perthean about my fear directly. Whatever the case, I have to tell him. I can't go back now.

I look down at the balcony floor, unsure of how I should go about confessing my fear. Should I apologize? I already did that before, so maybe I shouldn't do it again. Should I try to justify it? He's just so tall, after all! Then again, I don't want to make him angry. Maybe I should just come out and say it. But standing here with my legs wobbling, my shoulders shuddering, and my throat drier than a desert, how can I?

"Kaylin?" Derrick says.

"I-I—" I stutter helplessly under my deskmate's gaze. I hold my breath, only for my lungs to scream at me to let the air go so they can take in more oxygen at an ever-accelerating pace. My heart skips a beat. I release the breath I was holding in and try to look my deskmate in the eyes.

Derrick looks at me blankly. I can't help but wonder what's going through his mind.

Unable to keep eye contact, I tear my gaze away from Derrick's and settle it back on the balcony floor. "Yes," I say.

There's a silence between us. The wind rustles through the nearby trees and blows through the grass that surrounds our empty portion of the school grounds. I'm relieved to have gotten my answer out, but I'm worried about what's on Derrick's mind as a result. Did he really mean what he said about helping me? Is he really sensitive like Brittney said? Did I hurt him by telling him I'm afraid? Does he want to hurt me?

I look back up at Derrick. His lips are pursed and his eyes, fixed on the ground, move back and forth as if he's deep in contemplation.

"When did this start?" he asks.

I gulp. Visuals I don't want to remember come flooding back to my mind. A short walk past the undercity exit through an enormous city above ground. A dark, unsuspecting alleyway. A tall perthean man with narrowed brown eyes.

I shake the thoughts away. I'm not going back there. "It's... always been this way, ever since I was little."

"But can you pinpoint a specific memory?" Derrick asks.

"I-I...!" I stutter again as I fall victim to my own thoughts.

The tall perthean man in the alleyway turns to me with a devilish grin. He's approaching me! His hands are coming for me, and I'm glued to the ground! I can't move! My heart slams against my ribcage, and my lungs gasp for air as I stand in place, unable to snap out of the trance I'm in!

"Anything at all?" my deskmate asks.

I grip the railing in front of me tightly, my brows furrowed in anger as I blink back the tears that threaten to fall from my eyes. "You... you need to mind your own business," I say through gritted teeth.

"What?" Derrick asks, confused.

"Mind your own business!" I shout, the tears I so desperately tried to blink back now streaming down my face one by one. I grip the railing in front of me even tighter than before, it being the only thing keeping me grounded in reality and away from the memories my mind wants to force on me so desperately.

"I'm... sorry I upset you," Derrick says, taking a step backward. "I... I should go," he says, turning around and hurrying away.

I look up to see Derrick walking away, his head down and his hands hidden away in his pockets. A burning guilt builds in my chest. What have I done? My friend offers to help me with my fear, and I chase him away? I look at my hands. What kind of monster am I? What's he going to think of me now?

"Derrick, wait! Please!" I call out. I just hope he can hear me!

My deskmate stops only a few more perthean yards from where he once stood. My heartbeat rings in my ears. I have his attention? What do I say now?!

"I...! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to snap at you like that!" I shout.

Derrick remains motionless. What I said must have really gotten to him. I feel horrible!

I breathe in and out. "When you told me you wanted to help me, I didn't know what to think. I thought maybe it was a joke, or maybe you wanted to give me a piece of your mind for being afraid of your people, but... I've been scared for so long."

I shift in place, not really sure what I'm saying or where I'm going with this. Derrick stays in place, only turning his head back towards me slightly.

"I... I don't know where else to turn," I say, gripping the railing in front of me again. "I could never ask this of anyone else, so...!"

I lean over the balcony as far as I'm able to, eyes fixated on Derrick's distant figure. Yes, I'm terrified of pertheans. No, I'd rather not be attending a deskmate school. But this one awkward perthean boy... he's somehow managed to sneak his way into my heart in spite of those things, and I'm finding that I don't want to lose him. Not over something as stupid as this!

"I need your help, Derrick!" I shout. "Please, help me!"

I stare onward at my deskmate, who is still glued to the same spot as before. Nothing. I guess he's not going to forgive me this time. I look down to the balcony floor in defeat. I knew this was too good to be true. An opportunity like Derrick offered me only comes once in a lifetime, and I crushed it. My fear became too much to handle in the moment, and in front of a perthean? Forget it. It was only a matter of time before I lashed out like this. I'll be lucky if Derrick ever talks to me again after this.

Footsteps, one by one, make their way towards the balcony. Anxiety swelling in my gut, I keep my head down as a massive shadow overtakes my little frame.

"Kaylin..." Derrick says, his voice trailing off.

I look up at him, not sure what to expect but fearing the worst. His eyes are full of wonder, and his mouth is left agape. He blinks at me a few times and smiles.

"I'll do it," he says, "I'll help you overcome your fear!"

I gasp. Maybe it's the chill of the cooler surface world air. Maybe it's the cold early spring wind blowing through my hair. Maybe it's the slightest bit of warmth from the sun peaking through the clouds. Whatever it is, it washes over me, relieving my anxiety.

"Th-thank you," I say, wiping my tears away. "Really."

"Don't mention it," Derrick says. "Now, getting back to the matter at hand..."

He lifts his hand and moves it towards me. What's he doing?! I stumble backward, almost tripping over my own two feet in the process. Derrick rests his hand over the balcony railing in front of me, his palm facing upwards. Shivering and shielding myself with my arms, I struggle to catch my breath after such an unexpected movement. I look at his hand, confused, and then look at him. This isn't balcony etiquette. Why is he offering me his whole hand?

"Shall we get started?" my deskmate says with a smile.

[sorceresslefay]

Heard you like girls who play strip mtg

Hiii

hey! i love stripping with cute girls regardless of context, mtg is just a bonus ;)

[sensivs]

YOUR WRITING HAS BEEN GIVING ME LIFE OMFG CAN I REQUEST BIG TIDDIE SUB READER WHOSE CHEST LIKE SUPER SENSITIVE AND HOW THE COD GUYS WOULD USE THAT IN BED JDBSKXBDK

OFCCCCC AAAAAAAAAAA

SOAP, GHOST, KÖNIG, GAZ 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶‼️‼️‼️‼️

HCS !!!

——————————————

SOAP

- As you and soap were making love, his hands found themselves squeezing your chest

- a startled moan came out of you as soap continued to squeeze your boobs

- “ohh~ so you like this don’t you~?” Soap teased as he put a more firm grasp on your chest.

- you moaned louder and grabbed onto soap’s shoulders tightly, your pecs were VERY sensitive and now soap was going to abuse that information

- he continued to play with your lovely chest and whispered sweet nothings into your ear as he recklessly pounded into you.

- “yOu fuCkinG pRickK~!” Was the last thing you could say before being absolutely mind fucked.

GHOST

- the loud sound of skin clapping against each other and the loud moans coming from you filled the room.

- ghost held onto your hips with his huge hands, you were sure that you were gonna have bruises when you woke up the next morning

- your train of thought suddenly came to a stop when you felt ghost’s mouth leaving its first mark on your pec

- you let out a surprise moan as a response, which brought ghost a smirk to his lips. He had now found out your weakness and you knew he would never stop using it against you.

- “G-ghost.. don’t you fucking dARE~!” Ghost began teasing your nips, making them the perkest they’ve ever been.

- You grabbed a fistful of ghosts hair to keep him in place, the feeling of his mouth was too much to loose at this moment.

KÖNIG

- König’s inhumanly large dick thrusted into you like there was no tomorrow, hitting your prostate every single thrust he took.

- Pure bliss ran through your body with every thrust along with drool dripping from the corners of your mouth from such pleasure.

- You let out a gasp as you felt something warm and soft engulf a small part of your pec. You looked down to see könig’s mouth sucking on a part of your tittie.

- “Ngh~ just like that könig~” you moaned as you gripped a good chunk of the tall man’s long and luscious hair.

GAZ (in this one your in reverse cowgirl, just wanna clear this up)

- Gaz thrusted into you with max efficacy, he never missed a beat with those hips. Gaz slithered his hands up to your tetas and grabbed on them tightly.

- You moaned at the feeling of gaz’s large and rough hands grabbing onto your pecs, gaz slowly slid his hands down to your waist and pulled your chest more closer to his face.

- He smirked and then placed his luscious lips on your boobies, sucking away.

- and then you two continued to have sex and yada yada

——————————————

REQUESTER IM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO DO:(((

PLEASE FORGIVE ME PLEASEEEEEE

[actuallyitsstar]

bradley rooster bradshaw & 22, 12, 21? <3

✨ send me a number and a character! ✨

HENLO USER MARCHRAINDROPS!!!! ily and im so sorry for how long this took aaaaaaaaaaa but pls take my humble offering, and i hope that u enjoy my attempt at doing this ask justice lol <3 <3

(p.s. i did answer one of these for bradley here already, so click for another and more lighthearted headcanon lol)

22. something you like and dislike in reading for this character?

something that rly matters to me when it comes to bradley is, i guess for lack of a better word, his attitude. bradley has had, admittedly, his share of traumatizing experiences in life, and he was raised on eggshells and rose-petals, walking under the shadow of a grief too heavy for him to bear alone, watching the adults he knew and trusted be crushed slowly beneath it instead. he was a bright and happy child whose innocence was slowly stolen, piece by piece, building a sardonic and cynical adult. bradley was soft, and he still absolutely c an be, in the right setting and with the right people. but he's still a grown man, at least thirty-four-ish, who's been hardened by loss after loss after betrayal, who has gone through war and come home again. he can be sarcastic and self centered, closed-minded and demanding, vindictive and rageful. he's brash and quick to speak, fierce in spirit but measured, too; aware of the pitfalls behind life's every corner and terrified of stepping on another; this time, completely alone. he hesitates and he meets the consequences of his indecision, and he takes that blame out on others.

i guess i like to see bradley's roughest edges acknowledged. he has been hurt, and he will hurt other people. he's not exactly a white knight of most situations (except for when he is- sacrificing himself for phoenix in training comes to mind; it is all about nuance isn't it?). i think it's easy to paint those kinds of flaws out of the picture, and i can understand why we might want to- because after all, no one wants to think about their favorite character being the "bad guy" in a situation. but everyone is, sometimes.

i guess what i don't like is seeing bradley treated with kidd gloves. realistically, bradley was spoiled as a kid, and why wouldn't he have been? the hope of a family grieving the loss of its pillar (goose), and that's a lot of weight for a little kid to carry. they'd doted on him, and put all their efforts into giving him the happiest childhood they could muster in the face of that loss, and maybe they were quick to give in to demands- maybe they were quick to take the situations upsetting young bradley away from him instead of teaching him how to cope with them. i'm not sure if, for all of their love and devotion, the adults in bradley's life would have known how to teach him to cope with a situation healthfully, anyway.

12. what's a headcanon you have for this character?

bradley has goose's old cross necklace, and it's one of his most prized possessions.

when bradley was little, he was 100% a mama's boy. after all, for all that mav was there, which was always as much as he could be but no more than the tight grip of the navy on his collar would allow- it was just bradley and carole against the world, together, for most of it. he talked to his mom about everything, trusted her with everything, and he took her illness so incredibly hard. obviously- that's his mom, after all- but even more than he showed, at the time. he'd tried to be strong, for his mom and for mav and because he's not sure he remembers anymore, but he thinks it's what his dad would have wanted, too; for him to take care of mom. he tries, but doesn't end up remembering how to take care of himself at the same time.

the wedge that separates bradley from the world and everything good in it is the same one that splits carole off from her family and leaves them alone without her. as her illness worsens, bradley becomes more and more sullen and withdrawn and angry, with the world and the lot handed to him. he savors each moment he has left with her but grows to dread hospital visiting hours, too, because it gets harder and harder to remember her as she was with each hour he spends watching her waste away. the breaking point is when he's thirteen years old, and they know carole has a few months more, at best. bradley isn't supposed to know yet- but he isn't stupid. he can overhear parts of a hushed phone call, and see the worry lines around uncle mav's eyes when he tries to offer reassurances that bradley doesn't believe in anymore.

she calls him in for visiting hours alone, telling uncle ice to take uncle mav home and make him take a shower and go to bed. mav protests profusely, but a look of understanding passes between ice and carole over the heads of everyone else in the room, and everyone but bradley is subsequently herded out. bradley settles himself on the edge of her bed, feeling awkward with the presence of the dreaded ticking time between them. despite her gauntness and exhaustion, though, she offers him her brightest smile. i have something to give you, baby, she tells him, and then it's dangling from her fingers before he has time to realize it fully- a silver cross necklace. his dad's necklace.

i've was meanin' to give this to you, when you're all grown up, she says quietly, and bradley swallows hard, drawing in a shaky inhale. but i just couldn't wait any longer. your daddy would be so proud of you, honey. and bradley knows it means she loves him and that daddy does too, but he also knows it means that his mom is saying goodbye. when uncle mav sees him wearing it later that evening, his small hand tightened around the metal so firmly that it digs into his skin, his uncle's face blanches, but mav doesn't say a word about it. bradley doesn't either. when everything falls apart between them much later, bradley tries to assign meaning that isn't there, telling himself that maybe mav had wanted that necklace to keep selfishly to himself, or that maybe mav hadn't thought he'd deserved it. it's not until much, much later that he manages to reason out the much simpler truth of the moment; of the guilt and the exhaustion and the realization that his all-but-sister knew she didn't have much longer if she'd finally passed the necklace down.

during the long years of his twenties and early thirties, bradley clings to the necklace, convinced it holds the parts of his past that he's missing, the feeling of belonging he's craved and cannot seem to find. the weight of it against his breastbone, beneath his uniforms, is half-comfort and half-terror. he doesn't explain it to anyone, not even to phoenix. i didn't know you were spiritual, she tells him upon catching a glimpse of it in the gym. bradley is hasty to shove it back inside his shirt collar. i'm not, he growls back, and that's that. she doesn't ask again. he doesn't volunteer. just like the look mav had worn upon seeing the necklace, it isn't until much, much later that bradley figures out what he'd been missing, after the mission and after the reconciling and after everything- til he figures out that maybe the necklace means something to him because it had meant something to mom and to dad and to mav, and that maybe he doesn't have to drag the ghosts and spirit of all three of those people into the cockpit with him each time he goes up into the air. maybe knowing they had loved him all along is enough. he tells himself that this is what the cool metal against his skin reminds him of, now, and for the most part, he finds that he can learn to believe it.

21: something you like and dislike in writing for this character?

i think it's sort of rare to be in a fandom where you have this primary character and you know so much about the things that built that character. i mean, not the most rare- obviously there's a lot of stories and franchises out there that focus on lineage and talk about long-spanning over-arcing stories. but to get to know carole and to get to know goose and to get to know mav and the other flyboys too; depending on your opinion of the closeness of the group after the first movie (i guess we all know MY found-family-obsessed-ass's opinion on that lol <3) is a gift that builds a picture of bradley, and unpacking it and piecing it together is one of my favorite privileges in writing him! feeling like i know the people who shaped bradley means i feel like i know bradley so much more, too. there's so much focus, especially in tgm, on history and mirroring and repetition and the weight of years and the passage of time, and of course there needs to be, for a sequel made so long after the original- because it is all built on the power of nostalgia- but it also says something about the construction of a character like bradley, doesn't it?

that being said, i do spend a lot of time trying to strike the balance, because i think there can be too much mirroring and a little too much drawing from influence. the double edged sword is allowing bradley to be a separate and independent person who is shaped by and not defined by those things. i think it's very easy (or at least for my sentimental ass it is lol) to get a little TOO wrapped up in the ~nostalgia~ and the trying to weave a 30+ year narrative into one character's image, and i do have to remind myself to avoid letting that walk all over the actual characters i am actually presently writing.

@marchraindrops AHHHHHHHHHH again i am so so sorry this took so long but i thank u so so much for thinking of me and sending the lovely ask, i had a lot of fun answering ;) and i am always thrilled to type my silly little answers lol. i promise to always answer even if it takes like.... more than a hot minute lol <3 TY AND ILY!!!! <3<3<3

[olexxx]

Fuck it- DREAM ANON COMING OFF OF ANON TO JOIN THE POSITIVITY WAVE! I actually found your art through the fic that other anon was talking about! It made me absolutely feral and then I saw the link at the top going to your blog and I looked through your art and it made me even MORE feral! I never realized the potential of the bodyguard/guard dog and the person they protect dynamic before you and AAAAAAAAAAA THE SEROTONIN-

I am ALSO making a small fic loosely based off your Bodyguard!AB AU ("loosely" meaning the characters aren't from the AU, but rather the main cast travels to that AU and then start fighting) ! Though I probably won't ever finish it because hfjisagyuf I rarely ever finish big fics- BUT THE IDEAS HAVE KEPT ME AWAKE AT NIGHT I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MANY HOURS I'VE SPENT JUST IMAGINING IT-

YOUR ART IS SO SO SO SO GOOD AND MAKES ME SO HAPPY YOU HAVE NO IDEA- THE AMOUNT OF SEROTONIN SPAWNED BY YOU ALONE IS UNREAL-

*MMMWAH!* ILY /P KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DO! BYEEE-

OK SORRY i took so long, HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII GOOD TO HAVE YOU!!! IM SO GLAD YOU ENJOY IT, (again, @/soelitist is doing a bang up job), im so flattered that it inspired you to write, even if you dont finish it, as long as we all have fun making what we make, thats what matters

[clearskiiess]

TILLYYYYYY GOODNESS GRACIOUS HOW HAVE U BEEN I MISSED U HOPE UR DOING WELL LOVELY

HIIII SIG SIG OMG IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND UGH I DINT SEE IT AAAAAAAAAAA !!!! im stupid ANYWAY HIHI i missed you too omfg its been so long im sorry we havent talked as much :( IM DOING AMAZING CURRENTLY IN EUROPE TRAVELLING RN BEEN TO MANY COUNTRIES SO FAR AND ITS BEEN LEGIT AMAZING FHJKF i wont talk about everything tho because then thisll be novel length lmao ENOUGH ABOUT ME THO WBU?? R U OK? i hope youre also doing well and everything we need to catch up !

[toxikku]

       ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴡᴇ ɢᴏ ᴄʀᴀsʜɪɴɢ ᴅᴏᴡɴ,

                                ᴡᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴛɪᴍᴇ!

[avenoire]

PaperHat children!  > Bose-Ori-Zwillinge

a commission for @paperhats-and-evil-schemes <3 

im sorry it took so long, thank you for your patience Mark! i really enjoyed this! ^^ Ori was so much fun to draw-- i loved painting his hair aaaaaaa <333

[hyucksbf]

You are made of stardust and galaxies and I love you. Send this to your ten favorite people on this website. 💞

aaaaaa i rlly dont deserve this at all thank u sm ::(

[nxtsnw]

hey love i have a lil quiz for u bcz ily nd i want to get to know u more :3 heheh what is ur favourite colour? what made you realise your favourite character was your favourite? why did you choose ur tumblr name? (im still trying to figure out what the first word is, even tho i got snow >:3) what is ur anime boy type? (probably pretty boi softies, knowing you) would u ever write a purely self indulgent chiashi fic or do i need to do it for you bcz i fucking WILL i will prove my love in that way. yes i will.

AAAAAAAAAAA it took me so long to reply and i don't even have a valid excuse I am so sorry, but i wanna let you know that i loved this so much😭

ANYWAY that's so lovely, these asks were so comforting *sobs*

my fav color is yellow, white, and basic any pastel colors. What are urs? And do u have a specific reason to like it?<3

UHM depends on which anime. I don't have a specific moment when I realized I become that attached to Takashi️ ehehe. He seemed like a lovely guy, but prob in the panel in which he helped Hakkai when they were young was when I started to admire him + when I found out that he was also taking care of his two sisters and he was at the sewing club<3 He seemed so nice and gentle, I love this man sm. For Akutagawa is kinda the same, he's the character I'm most attached to oop-. I really liked his character, and I was so curious to know more about him. That curious that I accidentally fall in love-🕺

Ohh my Tumblr name comes up to my mind during a sunny summer day almost a year ago. I took the first two words that come up to my mind and j liked how they sounded and voilà😎 Still none has still found out what's the first word, but isn't that hard or that deep ngl. (but yes u got snow<3)

Mmmh my anime boy type🤔 prob u're right, I'm a sucker for like precious boys that ik they would be the nice w me(??) idk, honestly i still have to understand what's my type. btw what's urs??

blushing over the chashi fic ask afsajdsa. one day maybe i will write it, i need time and self-confidence BUT AAAA ILYSM😭

[minusgangtime]

((https://minusgangtime.tumblr.com/post/681322603509694464/ok-thank-u-w-as-for-the-request-can-you-plz HI IM RLY SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND TO THIS BUT!!! THANK U!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS AND I LOVE THE WAY U DRAW THEM AND JUST. THIS IS THE GOOD FUCKING CONTENT THANK U💜💜🌌💜🌌🌌🌌💜💜💜💜💜🌌💜🌌💜💜🌌💜🌌💜🌌💜))

(AAAAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭)

[bangtanger]

CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks​ @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm 

also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3

❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020 

ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)

❀ a creation u r really proud of 

well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol  1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)

❀ a creation that took u forever

ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part 

❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes

whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)

❀ a creation u think deserved more notes 

lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol

❀  a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it 

i didnt join anything heurheru

❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart

OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T

❀  a ‘simple’ creation that u really love

this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol

❀  a favourite creatin created by someone else

oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(

@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....

@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj

@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss

@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T

@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T

@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s 

@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj

@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........

@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1

@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....

@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T

@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here

@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T

@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks  T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!

@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME

@joenns  I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T 

@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!

@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T

@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN

@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3

@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE

@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T

@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY

@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno

@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE

OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL 

❀  some of your favourite content creators from this year

ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3

OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan

[eirian]

honestly like not to ramble abt inazuma but. it kinda makes me sad how many ppl dont give it a chance? like, a real chance. if i hadnt watched dragon ball to episode 20 i wouldnt have gotten hooked on it. the same goes for inazuma b/c the first arc, while it builds the world and characters, is really slow when u first watch it and i know this. but god once it Gets you? i swear to christ it GETS you.  i think people watch the first ep and theyre like “oh this is just a sports anime im not into this” and they drop it. THATS NOT GIVING IT A CHANCE !!!  you get to episode 2 and they start doing shit like death zone cmon AND THATS NOT EVEN THE WILDEST SHIT THAT HAPPENS 

the characters are so good. the way it handles issues is Pretty Good too, of course it does have problems with some stuff but theres always room for improvement i guess. the story fucking slaps. i know its a kids anime so its very lighthearted and silly (fucking..soccer communism. there are aliens sometimes) but its so entertaining and nice and feel good....my life has genuinely improved since i got into it

like, listen. its not a sports anime. its a shounen anime that has sports in it. thats that on that. it literally smells of dragon ball just with soccer playing children i swear to god if u like dragon ball and are looking for a sillier more fun anime you Need to try out inazuma eleven..pls...for me...

i’ll be real i didnt get into the series until episode like 40 almost. it took me that long, i’ll admit it. but holy shit now its. its my favorite anime yall i havent admitted that yet publicly but i love inazuma eleven more than dragon ball even though my last name is actually saiyan for real ok. db is a second fav still but ina11 took that first spot. aliea academy my beloved

SO ANYWAY LIKE idk. i wish more ppl would give it a chance, a decent real chance, b/c the only other fans besides my partner are like. all european? JSFDKL SO THERES LIKE NO AMERICAN FANS I CAN BE UP AT THE SAME TIME WITH TO TALK ABOUT IT the american fanbase for inazuma is practically nonexistant and i dont understand why. well ok i kinda do, the series is based off a video game which hasnt been localized in the u.s. so. yeah

did i mention its by level-5. cmon

anyway thats all i’ll say on that sjdflk sorry i just had a super in-depth discussion abt the series with my partner so im like aaaaaaaaaaa ok bye

[bakughosts]

here they are!!!!

ei has a mullet, izu is a kind sweet angel boy and kat wants to leave

oh my god im so sorry it took me so long to respond, i've had a crazy few weeks at work!! but oh my god i LOVE THEM SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAAA I LITERALLY CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT THIS......... I HAVE IT SAVED TO MY PHONE JUST SO I CAN PULL UP THE PIC WHENEVER...... you're SO good at expressions oh my god they have so much personality and ei's mullet................... i love him................ i do that little hand motion on the daily as a goof......... also i literally gasped when i saw kat lmao wow thank you SO MUCH FOR SENDING THIS 2 ME!!!!!!! AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DRAWING THEM!!!!!!!! i am going to treasure this forever oh my god