#A day for meta a day for reflection

[divinekangaroo]

In one of those writer-equivalents of ‘redo the drawing/art 1 year on’ exercises, the two fics I’d rewrite (this won’t happen BTW it’s just me thinking) and why/what to improve are:

-melting point of gold. I was trying really hard to show Tommy slipping through time back into traumatic past events as a trauma response to Ruby’s death, a breaking down of all his walls and barriers in his mind such that he couldn’t anchor himself in this time where his daughter is dead. But, couldn’t get a smooth narrative voice established. (I still find it difficult to re-read so would want to improve that.) it originally included a lot *more* going back into the past (and his mother, and his caretaking) than I left in the end. It also included a phone call with Ada which goes wrong because she keeps wanting more explicit direction from Tommy, and also a phone call telling Arthur the news about Ruby which goes terribly wrong because of Arthur’s addiction and his manipulation by Mosley, triggering a deep segue into the past trauma and particularly his mother and Romani context as a consequence, as well as one about John and the nuns. I just couldn’t get the intent and flow settled to my satisfaction. I cut so much to try to smooth the narrative voice and improve readability but in hindsight it’s left the ‘slide backs’ and the scene at Johnny’s camp very disjointed and without a satisfactory arc of their own to a point of revelation. The problem was narration/voice not the scenes I wanted to include, and in trying to improve voice I stuffed the scenes. -pride is the prevailing spirit of the superior man. This is the Mosley/Tommy one. As a first re-entry to writing and this fandom, I find it’s a little stiff around the edges in narrative voice and scene transitions. It’s not something I can improve in micro edits; every time I try there’s nothing I’d actually change because I still agree with the content, and what’s a word really matter when the content conveyed is the same? But a full rewrite would make the room for softening the voice and smoothing scene segues. I’d also add a little more dialogue between Tommy and Mosley, and Mosley and Lizzie, but *most significantly* I’d completely redo the scene w Lizzie and Arthur. I’ve always found Arthur difficult to get into, but I just had this *drive* that a fic where Tommy lets himself get fucked neeeeeeeded Arthur in it, but at the same time Arthur couldn’t actually ever speak to Tommy. Arthur had to be lurking, somehow. So I wrote it in but had only half thoughts about what it was supposed to do. I think I could do that Lizzie and Arthur conversation more justice and weight after working more through Arthur in other fics, and especially now thinking more layered things of Arthur’s role in the source material thanks to @vertigosuite’s visual/scene analyses.

[purble-gaymer]

simple thoughts on meta knight and gender euphoria

[asavt]

[ Reflection ] About yourself.

Was listening to Shunkan Sentimental by SCANDAL at like 10 p.m. and stayed up until 4 a.m. to work on this. I didn't finish it right away tho, I still had to sleep.

Two extras below read more!

[veinsfullofstars]

🪞 Kirbtober 2024 Day 18: Mirror 🪞

(ID: Kirby series fanart of Kirby stepping out of a Mirror Door and looking up in curiosity, while Shadow Kirby peeks out uncertainly from behind the golden artifact. Inside the sparkling navy-blue glass, Dark Meta Knight can be seen in faded profile, his tattered red cape flaring dramatically around him, a single glowing eye glaring out through the scarred visor of his mask. END ID.)

Previous Day | Next Day | Prompt List (made by @/paintpanic)

Started on 09/26/24, finished on 09/27/24. | Kirbtober 2023 Comp

[eatsbooks]

Do you think Azriel would feel insulted by some mating bonds, in a I deserve better way? If yes, then for what kind of people?

i’ve been going back and forth on this one but honestly ..,,.,,, no. not in an i deserve better way specifically. because azriel doesn’t think he’s deserving of much at all beyond punishment and pain and sacrifice. that’s why he was trapped in a cell in his youth. that’s why the first real purpose he was given (by rhysand’s father) was to maim and torture and to do so covertly, because his is a violence so terrible that it can only be unleashed in the dark, where no decent fae should have to bear witness. that’s why he takes up that mantle even now — to shield his family and preserve their purity and keep their hands clean; such work should only stain him, who is already unsalvageable. (but so, so desperate for redemption. if he bleeds this fae for good enough purpose, will his hands finally begin to run clean?)

rather, i think if azriel was mated to someone he disdained — maybe someone from the hewn city, or the autumn court, or an illyrian*, or just someone generally viewed (especially by the ic) as Bad or Other — he would take this is a confirmation of that deepset fear he’s been trying to outpace his whole life. he is unsalvageable. the mother looked at all the beings in all of her creation and selected his perfect match: someone who is Not Good, like he has been reaching for but always falling short of. this bond of his soul shows him the truth of himself, and that is … not even quite an insult, because he already knew it, didn’t he? now there’s just no hiding it from himself or anyone else. he has been able to conceal the rot of him beneath his cool exterior for so long, and now it’s here, outside of his body, and everyone can see it, and he cannot deny it.

*i don’t azriel hates illyrian females like he does illyrian males. i think he pities them. i think they are the direct root of his shame in being an illyrian himself. so to be mated to an illyrian female wouldn’t be bad because she is illyrian. it would be bad because he is illyrian, and he would never be able to forget it with her.

[afterthelambs]

"Silco didn't create Jinx, you did" lives in my mind rent free because throughout season 1, Vi has been convincing herself that Silco is the obstacle preventing her from getting Powder back. She's traumatized and guilt-ridden. When Vi is traumatized, she simplifies things as a response. She has to believe that getting her sister back is that simple. But when Silco is finally dead, Powder doesn't come back to her. In fact Silco's death is what solidifies Jinx's decision to be Jinx (the complete Jinx aka Jinx + Powder, not the broken version of her that she tried to erase Powder from).

And that's likely why Vi switches on her so quickly. By the time season 2 starts she's fully on board with Piltover wanting to kill Jinx and when she confronts her in ep.3 she says Powder is dead and they're not sisters anymore. Which is wild considering just a few days ago she was reassuring her that they'll always be sisters.

I think Vi meant all of it. At the time she really did want Caitlyn and the enforcers to kill Jinx. But that's because she's still just as traumatized and guilt-ridden as she was before. She can't deal with the fact that Jinx herself is the real reason she can never get Powder back. And as I said, Vi simplifies things as a trauma response. However if they had actually succeeded in killing Jinx, I think Vi would live in regret and self-hatred forever. What someone wants when they're traumatized and hurt is not what they want forever, and Vi does love her sister.

[canarybell]

It might be an unpopular opinion...

...But I think we might not see Aziraphale and Crowley actively interacting in present in the first few episodes of S3 (i.e first two or even three episodes). There might be some flashbacks, some ways for them to check on each other (probably without the other knowing), and them both visibly reflecting on what was done and said in the Final Fifteen, so it won't be a complete absence of aziracrow content - but there won't be an actual interaction.

Iirc, Neil Gaiman said that the third season wouldn't be that aziracrow-focused as the second season was. So it wouldn't be just a story about their little divorce.

And I don't think they were separated just for the sake of the drama of the Final Fifteen. They both have plot-related things to do on their own - Aziraphale in Heaven and probably in America (as we know from a little information we have about the sequel), and Crowley...probably in London (because the bookshop is still there and we still have Whickber Street decorations intact) and in Devil's Dyke (I just have a feeling that South Downs thing won't be just a last-episode "oh, let's move in a cottage" and will actually have some plot significance)?

It was like that in the original book too - we had them mostly separated and acting on their own from the moment of Aziraphale finding Agnes' book and until the airbase reunion. TV show changed it, including a 30-minute flashback, all the bandstand/"I forgive you-1" drama, and the pub talk - this was necessary to flesh out TV versions of the characters and their conflict. But would it be necessary in S3, with us knowing these characters and what their problem is? Especially if aziracrow would be in a very different places due to the plot (unlike book/S1, where, prior to Aziraphale's discorporation, they both still were in London)? I'm not sure.

[gayofthefae]

If Mike were scared of telling El he loves her he would have delivered "care" as if it were a replacement, not as smoothly and second hand omission as he did. Closer "blank makes you crazy" - an obvious substitute for something he is forbidding himself from saying

Very different from a natural inclination to avoid it.

He said "I care for you SO MUCH". If he were telling the truth about his reason it would have more likely been (a subtle version of) "I- CARE for you so much".

[tldr:

But this is all to say, I'm still noticing details I didn't not because they were hidden, but because they were SO obvious I didn't think I needed to remember them.]

All these little details that - before the ily speech caught me so off guard and my prediction was vol 2 Byler - came second nature to me as obvious support. Before I realized it was a prediction I needed to defend, I was highly confident based on his behavior. Now I break down why that is, but I was always highly confident based on his behavior and words.

Because I had a belief and I held it passively. And all you need for a passive belief is to never be contradicted, and he never contradicted me. And when a passive belief is supported, you don't note it because it's obvious and that list would get pretty long, don't you think.

I didn't track Byler details much at all on my first watch because once I realized in their fight that Mike had feelings for him, I just sat back to see how it unfolded. I only analyze it retrospect after he contradicted himself, but it was very consistent up until that point. So much so that I didn't even need to track it. Mike is acting like he can't say it because he doesn't love her and nearly says as much, Joyce wants to follow Hopper to Russia, what else is new?

I had no doubt that Mike nodding when Will said "don't like the truth" was because it applied to Mike not loving El too. Because I didn't know anything did.

There's no reason to track details when you think every idiot and their mother knows what's going on. The ily speech was mostly an out of the blue because of the wake up call of "you weren't supposed to know yet and everybody else was being tricked into thinking that this made sense". But originally, it was all these subliminal messages aka just...consistent plot points and behavior. I notice them now but I didn't then because they were inconsequential. Mike not being able to say he loves El while he's defensive about his relationship with Will means he loves Will. The sky is blue. I thought we knew this so why record and prove it?

But this is all to say, I'm still noticing details I didn't not because they were hidden, but because they were SO obvious I didn't think I needed to remember them.

[nighthuntingclato]

he knows them so well!!

[outeremissary]

For no reason in particular I think it's really important to note that as much as I am a pretty intense atheist irl in 2024 I do not blame Sarenrae for all of Tristian's fuckups and am generally disinclined to point fingers at the gods in Kingmaker for mortal affairs (someone at Owlcat just straight up hates Shelyn and whatever they are doing there is mildly incoherent). Is it best practice to leave your now ex-angel with Nyrissa? Definitely not, many things would have been solved by Tristian Not being there. But I don't think in the least that Sarenrae has "broken" Tristian out of malice or neglect. I believe that Tristian's divinity was an extraordinary privilege which was revoked for Tristian's failures to be worthy of that privilege (which I hardly think started with Nyrissa, that was just the breaking point).

I also think that there's a way of seeing being left at that moment as both a moment of harm reduction and a trial of faith. I don't think Nyrissa expected to find herself with an angel who had fallen. I think she had likely prepared to manipulate an actual outsider, had wanted someone in command of the full range of their supernatural abilities. And I think such a being could have enabled more damage much faster. And as for the trial of faith: I think there was a solve to this puzzle, a way to prove that one could hold themself to the extraordinary standards of a servant of the transcendent divine, and that was to have faith in the goddess regardless of fear and to refuse to cooperate no matter what. To as soon as aware refuse to be complicit in the slaughter of innocents, the assassination of a stranger. I'm not the world's biggest self-sacrifice advocate and Balthazar certainly reflects that about me but: these are the deeds of heroes and saints. Furthermore, the soul of a mortal can be recovered. If Tristian dies in chapter seven, the given explanation is that they can't be resurrected because Sarenrae has intervened- I firmly believe that if Tristian had died standing up to Nyrissa Sarenrae would have reclaimed them and restored their divinity. Tristian's failures are failures of first ego and then cowardice. When push actually came to shove, they could not be what they claimed to be. It's pitiable. It's very human. Huge fan of the angel who fails by being too human and too flawed. But I do not place this at the feet of Sarenrae. Not fully, at least. Not even mostly.

Of course, Balthazar would be a different matter: he's always happy to throw accusations to the heavens.

[cdroloisms]

my personal interpretation of c!wilbur is someone who read a lot of left over (functionally) historical propaganda over the revolutionary war and became radicalized, not fully grasping how his position in the world changes what his own desire for revolution really means. hes like a white knight lib to me (simplification but i hope it gets across)

ehhh i see where you're coming from but i don't really agree

to be clear i'm not super c!wilbur brained he's a fascinating character but i haven't watched enough c!wilbur content recently (especially early c!wilbur content) to really consider myself particularly uh able to give like, a nuanced read of the guy. but c!wilbur is honestly a lot more self-aware than a lot of people give him credit for. he crafts these narratives not because he inherently 100% believes them, you know?

there's a lot about mmm the lmanburg revolution and all that's quite openly ig like, underhanded even in the way that he plays it early on. the whole "words, not weapons" moment where he reveals that that's actually a ploy to stab people who believe them in the back comes to mind. the content creator himself has always asserted that a significant part of the creation of lmanburg is meant to assert and keep power, and this is something we see reflected again in the elections, which--uh, pretty obvious power thing, imo.

this isn't to say that like, being a good person and all isn't important to c!wilbur. it is. it's very important to him, and part of what shatters him so much in pogtopia is looking at what he's done and realizing that it doesn't really make him the best guy. but i don't think c!wilbur buys what he's selling like, at all in early lmanburg era. mans knows that he can speak things into reality and he uses that. a lot. part of why c!quackity unsettles him so much even as early back as the elections is because c!quackity was someone he couldn't get a clear read of and someone that therefore left him on the back foot. but in terms of the revolution, delivering them from oppression, etc etc--the fact that he owns this whole "we aren't like the brutish, tyrannical americans and their barbarity" while himself being american as established in boundless sands reeeeeally hammers in the whole irony of his lmanburg sales pitch.

as far as i can tell, i usually operate on the assumptions that like. 1) c!wilbur wants to make an impact, be remembered, legacy is a whole thing yadayada my unfinished symphony yadayada ozymandius yadayada literally all of the hamilton references. self explanatory. 2) c!wilbur is a character that often navigates the world + relationships to power in terms of "either you're the one with power or you're the one having power used against you"--a lot of his interactions reflect a need to have control over a situation, his interactions with people that he perceives as having power or threatening his power/control tend to involve challenging them and their authority, stick it to the man, the whole thing of putting a block under himself while talking to people. this could've been put better but yeagh. 3) c!wilbur wants to be respected + wants to be, like, a good leader? and he can get wrapped up in a lot of that while you know not having the most accurate perception of his Actual strengths 4) c!wilbur is self-aware and intelligent and charismatic, and he's quite confident of all of these qualities. he's a hell of a manipulator and uses manipulation quite often to get the upper hand in social situations 5) a lot of the power/control issues have roots in very real fear--he's a guy that's quite ill and obviously as we get into elections and pogtopia especially (schlatt scares the bejeezus out of him) we see a lot of that. realizing that his actions makes him a bad person affects him greatly and he ends up struggling with this idea for Quite a long time--he tries to get control over this by trying to Own the whole "i'm evil" thing <- also not put the best but ehhhhh ehh. again, not a c!wilburian and 6) c!wilbur, in the role of the "lmanburg narrative", takes the role as its writer. he's the one that comes up with the story in order to validate his creation and make it into a Thing, and this succeeds--but the mythos also quickly snowballs beyond him. he creates the story as it exists but it becomes something More, yknow? i don't think he ever truly believed in it i don't think that c!wilbur actually buys any of his stuff about revolutions and oppression and all of that, i dont really think lmanburg was any more legitimate of a cause when he began it as the drug van breaking bad rp that he made the day before. but it's a story that took hold and grew to have very real, tangible power that affected the whole server and affected him as well. which obviously goes into the whole exiting the narrative thing.

anyway that's all a bit of a rant and i'm not exactly the person to ask for c!wilbur thoughts but yeahhhh 🤷. i tend to no-nuance him a little bit bc he's a complicated character and im a hater 😂

[veinsfullofstars]

💥 Kirbtober 2024 Day 21: Duel/Rival 💥

(ID: Kirby series fanart of Shadow Kirby about to engage in a two-on-one battle against Shadow Dedede and Dark Meta Knight. Clad in the Sword hat, the nervous but determined puffball leaps up with the sword Master held high, golden light and a spiderwebbing crack emanating out from the shining tip. His rivals loom over him, the king grinning wickedly and brandishing his great poleaxe, the knight glaring coldly and gripping his six-pronged sword. END ID.)

“Ain’t room for deadweight in my army, pipsqueak. C’mon, show me whatcha got!”

“Hmph. Don’t disappoint me, kid. Let’s see if you survive round one.”

Previous Day | Next Day | Prompt List (made by @/paintpanic)

Started on 09/30/24, finished on 10/02/24. | Kirbtober 2023 Comp

[crescentmp3]

love planning out an entire video game that will take me years of learning to get started on making.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Worst Guy Ever - Also, Unfortunately, Very Homosexual Convo. (subtextually)

[mystiika]

misc tag drop

[cosmic-dust-poltergeist]

Pt. 4 of the clone/reincarnation au. The bats find out Danny can be scary.

[Pt 3 here] [Pt 5 here]

Tim is pissed and terrified. He's frantically trying to find a way out of the current situation without Danny regressing on all his progress.

Danny had been with their family for almost 2 years and had come such a long way from the scared kid he was in the beginning. He's going to therapy and can handle interacting with people in general without help. He still tends to cling to familiar people in new situations, but it doesn't have to be Tim or Cass. He goes to school now as Damian's "under socialized and traumatized twin". The official story is that he was separated from Damian, then abused and denied a proper education because he was the second born as well as a meta. It's a believable story between the batfam and Danny's own behavior. But Danny has gotten so much better!

Sure, Danny still has some major issues and won't admit to having someone else's memories, but he's actively working on the former and the batfam is figuring out how to bring up the later without spooking the kid. Tim's not sure if Danny thinks they believe his flimsy excuses over weird comments or the constellations in his room that don't exist or not, but no one wants to push him. It's obvious he had a family that is all now dead, and he was experimented on until he died in the 90s or early 2000s, before he was somehow reincarnated or something into a clone's body. The running theory is that Lazarus waters were used to prolong his original life before he was tortured to death, and his soul or something got connected to the pit somehow during that time, so when that same pit water was then put in a soulless husk, Danny's essence started changing it to reflect that. It took a year and a half to get a blood sample from Danny without him panicking, but the result? Danny's blood's "plasma" is concentrated Lazarus waters, it's "purer" and thicker than the normal stuff. They had to keep their questions and tests light because the moment they commented on his weird blood, Danny had the largest meltdown he had in months, so currently, most of their theories are theoretical. Kid has a LOT of medical trauma.

But Tim is getting off topic. The reason he's freaking out is because the family got caught as civilians. It was supposed to be a nice day out. Tim, Bruce, Damian, Dick, and Danny were out at the mall. Jason was supposed to meet up with them for lunch since it was just a bonding trip. But they can't have nice things.

The only plus side of this situation is Jason hadn't arrived. And this is a plus, because the kidnappers? Joker and his goons.

It was an awful coincidence, even Joker looked surprised to see he had the Waynes. Dick, Damian, and Bruce do their best to keep the mad man's attention away from Tim and Danny. Danny's trembling form is pressed to Tim's back.

"Why does it have to be clowns? Why does it have to be clowns?" Danny is mumbling hysterically. Tim doesn't think Danny has interacted with any sort of clown while with them. Clowns are hard to come by in Gotham for obvious reasons. Meaning this is a Before trauma.

"Tell a different jok-" Dick is cut off by being hit in the face. He yelps as his nose breaks with an audible crunch and starts cursing up a storm.

Tim blocks out his family's shouting and the Joker's taunting to focus on Danny. The kid completely frozen when Dick yelped.

"Danny?" Tim whispers, only to have a gun pulled on him.

"Got something to say, brat?"

"N-no." Tim is panicking, Danny is no longer pressed into his back.

"Good. Now- What the fuck???" The goon clown's stupid face is drawn into a look of horror as he looks over Tim's shoulder.

Tim chances a look over his shoulder to find a terrifying and massive creature where his sweet little brother is supposed to be. And as Tim studies it's starry void figure, all long limbs, eerie glowing, low hissing, what looks like a crown of ice, and face of beautiful pulsing stars that move with it's expression, he KNOWS this IS his baby brother. He briefly wonders if this is how he looked Before, before remembering the gunmen.

"Shit! Don't shoo-!" Tim isn't fast enough and watches in horror as the clowns fire at Danny. His terror is for nothing though as Danny turns them both intangible til the gunfire stops. Then, his feral void creature of a brother attacks. Mauling every single clown in his sight. And Tim can respect that.

He does desperately need to get out of his binds though. Danny is going to have such a massive relapse in his ability to trust them not to hurt him because of this, and Tim takes his job as Danny's "security person" seriously. He NEEDS to be there when Danny is done taking care of the clowns.

"Re-replacement?" Tim has never been so happy to hear Jason's Red Hood mechanical voice.

"Get me untied NOW" Tim spins and demands. "He's terrified, Jay!"

"What?" Jason is totally bewildered, but complying. "Where's Danny?"

"Mauling clowns." Tim grimaces, really hoping no one dies. Danny would be devastated if he accidentally killed someone in his panic.

"THAT'S Danny???"

"Yes. Now shut up. Untie the others and help them check on everyone. I'm going to make sure our little brother doesn't have a complete breakdown that puts us back to square one." Tim tells him and starts booking it after Danny, following the trail of decimated goons. When he catches up, Danny is slamming Joker into the ground and freezing him there. Tim grabs an abandoned gun and shoots the remaining goons in the kneecaps while edging closer.

Danny says something in a language Tim has only heard when Danny is deliriously tired. Tim chucks the gun as far away from them as he can before stepping closer with his hands raised. He projects as much of his concern and thankfulness and love for Danny into his body as physically capable.

"Danny, we're safe now. You kept us safe, kiddo."

There's another gargle of his unknown language before his form shrinks then with great big flash Danny is back to his tiny fae-like form. Tim shoots forward when Danny begins to sway and wraps his little brother in a hug.

"T'm.." Danny slurs.

"I got you. I got you." Tim mutters. It's a little awkward since Danny is only just shorter than him, but Tim picks Danny up in a princess carry, tucking the kid's face in his shoulder and booking it back to their family.

"Tim?? Danny??" Dick shouts, and Danny flinches, sending Tim into his own feral spiral. He literally bares his teeth when the others get too close, making them all pause. They luckily recognize his tales. He's had a lot of feral episodes in front of them since Danny. "Okay. Okay. We'll stay right here, Timmy."

"I'm taking him home."

"Okay... I'll have Alfred pick us up." Bruce easily accepts.

"We'll deal with the cops, Drake." Damian is eyeing Danny with a heartwarming amount of concern. Too bad Tim is too keyed up to appreciate how cute the little demon is being.

Tim takes off again without a word, bundling Danny into the passenger seat of the car they took to get here. Once he's all buckled in, Tim jumps in the drivers seat and peals out of there. He's glad this car isn't a manual because it means Tim can gently reach over and take Danny's trembling hand. He rubs soothing circles with his thumb.

"You're okay, kiddo, I'll keep you safe." Tim mutters to him. "Even if I have to fight the world. I will keep you safe."

Danny starts crying softly somewhere along the way back to the manor. Tim REALLY wishes Cass wasn't in Hong Kong right now.

"Movie, music, or quiet?" Tim asks, starting the breakdown protocol they set up together. It's basically just give Danny comfort options to focus on and tapping or holding up fingers to indicate his choices. Danny taps Tim's hand twice.

"Snacks or no snacks?" 2 taps

"Water, juice, or tea?" 3 taps

"Alfred's choice or do you have something in mind?" 1 tap

"Am I or you showering first? I want to get the clown cooties off me." This time there's a tiny giggle with the tap.

"Should I stay in the room talking or such I wait outside?" The hand in Tim's grips his hand so hard he's sure he heard his bones creek, but he keeps all signs of pain off his face. A single tap.

They pull into the driveway and find Alfred standing in the doorway. Tim quietly greets him as they climb out of the car.

"I hate to ask, but could you make us some tea before you leave? We'll be in Danny's room once we're both cleaned up."

"Of course, young master. Your father and siblings will be otherwise engaged for a while. I do not have to leave for another 20 minutes at the very least and I shall have it ready in 10."

"You're a lifesaver!" Tim cheers before picking Danny up in another princess carry. Danny simply clings to him and let's him. "Do you want one of my hoodies for tonight?"

There's a nod pressed to his shoulder. While Danny is nearly as tall as Tim, he's significantly thinner and lighter, so he still drowns in Tim's hoody. The kid doesn't want to be a vigilante the way the rest of them are. He rather be the guy in the chair or upgrading the bat tech. He doesn't find the appeal in punching criminals and his bouts of being nonverbal being his excuses when asked about it. Which is valid, but Tim knew there was more to it.

Bruce actually shed happy tears over one of his kids not wanting to fight crime and being safe.

Tim walks them through their routine. It makes Danny relax bit by bit. He's nearly completely calm by the time they're comfortably shut in the small space of Danny's bed, tea sitting on the small shelf that was part of the bunk bed's original frame, Tim's phone is playing soft music from than same shelf, and fairy lights casting the whole inclosed space in a soft light. Tim cuddles this poor kid close, but is careful to not get in the way of his iPad.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Tim whispers.

[I guess I have to now..]

"You don't. Sure, I'd appreciate if you told me, but I love you more than my need for answers." They fall back into silence as Danny thinks about it. Tim refuses to rush him and it rewarded for it.

[You knew there was more going on than a mutation, didn't you?]

"Yes.. You're not always as subtle as you think you are."

[My sister, Jazz, said the same.]

"Older siblings, so long as they're doing their job, are bound to realize something is up." Tim smiles. Committing the new name to memory.

[Yeah...] Danny sniffles a little. [I have memories from a life before I was a clone.]

"I know." Danny whips his head around to stare at Tim with wide eyes. "You let little things slip, and I am nothing if not diligent in knowing my precious people and keeping them safe."

[Stalker] Danny gives him a teasing smile, and Tim playfully pretends to be wounded, before Danny looks serious again and Tim matches the energy. [I lived for about 15 years before the 2 I've been here. I am actually Damian's age, despite how I behave.]

"Trauma does funny things to people. I don't see any reason we couldn't indulge you and make you happy."

[I have several theories about why I regress. One is good ol' trauma, but the other is because my core is only 3 years old.]

"Core?"

[All infinite realm beings and some liminals have a core. It's basically your entire being and all your organs in one. It's the most intimate thing to expose your core to someone. And if you crack a core, that's attempted murder/murder depending on how bad it is.] Danny pauses before adding [The core is your everything and will use ectoplasum to create a physical representation and use powers. The buzzing Jon and Kon heard was my core, it's what gave me powers, and I'm positive it's why I no longer look like Damian.]

"Huh...I thought your soul got tied to the Lazarus Pit or something."

[Not far off. Lazarus Pit is corrupted ectoplasum. But my core was implanted into this body by my mentor.]

"Who?"

[Clockwork. He keeps the time safe. He tried to help me, but he's very busy and the observers mess with him to keep him from noticing something is wrong.] Danny fiddles with his stylus. [He was devastated when he found what was left of me in that lab. They did so many experiments before cutting my human body to shreds til I was just my core. But I'm not a normal ecto entity who can heal from losing their body. Their bodies are just ectoplasum, they can regenerate what they need and reform.]

Tim runs a soothing hand over Danny's arm.

[But I'm an abomination even to ecto entities.]

"How so?"

[The way my core formed was unusual. I was a mostly normal human until I was 14. I was just a stupid kid showing his friends his insane parents' lab. My parents were walking OSHA violations on a good day, and I was just a kid growing in a delicate situation.]

Tim had a sick feeling, knowing this wasn't a good memory.

[One second I was just the town weirdos' completely human kid, the next I had most of the city's power grid electrocuting me to death while a portal to the infinite realm opened on top of me, flooding me with ectoplasum, that revived me. Over and over and over and over again til suddenly I was able to escape, but the damage was done. I was suddenly something called a Halfa. Not truly a human, nor truly an ecto entity. Both and neither.]

"Damn, I'm guessing neither party accepted you."

[Not at first. When "ghosts" started escaping and hurting humans, not always realizing that's what they're doing, I was the only one that could do anything. So I did. I became a vigilante. It didn't go smoothly at first, but eventually I understood them and property damage decreased drastically. Only the script flipped and suddenly there was a government agency and my ghost hating parents hunting all ghosts. Nothing and no one was safe and I had to step up again to keep people who hated me safe.]

"They caught you." It wasn't a question, but Danny nods all the same.

[I got caught. I had less rights than a lab rat. I don't want to think about all that happened there, but they eventually slowly started cutting away my human body. But I'm a halfa. I need a human body and my core was a mere infant. That's when Clockwork finally found me. He apologized over and over to my core while trying to find me a new body that was soulless. He told me he'd find somewhere I'd be safe. And next thing I know I was in this body, in an entirely new dimension, and being told to KILL my template?? I was really relating to Dani (my clone sent to kill me) on the way to that roof. I knew I couldn't kill Damian, I never want to kill anyone, but I was still curious enough to go looking. And you know the rest.]

"I'm sorry about how hard your life has been. You didn't deserve any of that. It's okay to be absolutely wrecked after everything that happened."

[Thanks]

"One last question. What was that form earlier?"

[It's new. I guess I have 3 forms now? There's this one obviously, but I also have one that looks like how I used to look. It has all my scars, but is more powerful. I don't like looking at it. Too much hurt. And now I have the one you saw. It felt like a physical manifestation of my obsession of space and my need to protect. Obsessions can influence how an ecto entity looks. A ghost's obsession is everything to them and can get depressed or violent when denied fulfilling it. Indulging in it heals, sooths, and powers them.]

"Not hard to guess yours." Tim teases before pushing the iPad away and putting Danny's cup of tea in his hands. "Thank you for telling me. I know it was hard for you."

Danny shrugs. They drink their tea is silence for a while before Danny yawns, making Tim yawn.

"Guess this means naptime." Tim puts the cups up before burying them both in Danny's fluffy space themed blankets. They're out in moments.

The next day, and with Danny's permission, Tim explains to the rest of the batfam what Danny told him. They fret over and reassure Danny they aren't scared of him, they're not sending him away, he's staying with them as long as he wants. The whole situation is a big step back in their progress in making Danny feel safe, but they all work through it. And Danny starts to willingly share more of his past and "ghost"ness.

They do have to explain to the police that, yes, Danny has a second scary form, and yes, Tim knows how to shoot a gun, but it was self-defense. There's a security video of it all, so it's all indisputable. Everyone is pissed when the video is leaked despite the Waynes best efforts, so the family gets even more protective of Danny.

Damian goes full guard dog when they return to school. Growling and snapping at anyone who so much as looks at Danny funny.

Tim is just relieved he can honestly tell Danny no one died during the mall incident. Sure, more than a few of the goons are crippled in some way, and the Joker is paralyzed from the neck down, but no one died. Danny still feels bad about it, but that's because he's a genuinely nice person who didn't have to be domesticated into not using excessive force.