#A WORLD. i can’t even finish this
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squealing and. OAUAGAUAGG
#they’re SILLAYYYYYYYYYY#they’re my silly guys hiiii they are SILLAYYYYY#timothy's txts.#BENEVOLENT . AOAIAGG A WORLD WHERE THEY ARE HAPPY AND SILLY#A WORLD WHERE THEY ARE HAPPY AND SILLAYYYYYYYYYYYY#A WORLD. where they. are happy. AND SILLY#tw caps#i’m going to kill myself for real#my stomach hurts so sick i’m so happy ouagh can you imagine#CAN YOU IMAGINE#a world where they are silly.#😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫 a world where they are silly#tw emoji#A WORLD. i can’t even finish this#DINNER DATE??? THROUPLE????????#oh goddddddddddddddddddd can you imagine a world where they are fucking silly
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nothing you ever see about succession will prepare you for the way jeremy strong’s acting will gradually then irrevocably grab hold of your heart and soul and evoke emotions in you that you didn’t even know were there
#i know i was late to the show and finished it after everyone else was long done but.#i can’t get over how it started vs how i felt as each episode passed and i didn’t even realize how deeply#the show made me feel#it just kinda crept up on me then hit me over the head with a frying pan#esp jeremy strong’s acting like…it’s out of this world. idk how he manages to do it#but you can just FEEL the care and earnestness he put into his role and it’s profoundly moving#kendall roy#jeremy strong#succession#hbo succession#queerasian.txt
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2024 reads / storygraph
Road To Ruin
start of a postapocalyptic fantasy series set in an Asian-inspired desert world plagued by dangerous storms
follows a courier who transports romantic letters between a prince and princess, who helps the princess escape across the wastes towards the prince’s safe haven
but they’re pursued by bounty hunters, and accidentally uncover some ancient secrets. and also she’s in love with both of them
dinosaurs, magical motorbikes,
bi MC, start of polyam triad
#Road To Ruin#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#I enjoyed this overall!#a fun fast paced adventure set in a mad max-esque world with dinosaurs and magic.#quite liked the polyamorous love triangle going on - I even liked the guy which is a win.#It does start with them all already having a crush on each other so we kinda miss seeing how that developed in the first place#but I think I prefer this considering the book is only set over a number of days.#It is unfortunate that the magic is called mana.#But that is so deeply entrenched in fantasy that I guess I can’t critique any individual book for it that hard.#I will say - I read assuming it’s YA and only now after finishing it it seems to apparently be adult.#the worldbuilding and character relationships felt more YA to me - and I don’t mean that as an insult#I just probably would have expected more complexity in certain areas if I knew this was adult. I dunno.#all the ending is like. everything is wrapped up about the narrative (as much as i care about now anyway) but the relationship is Not#I did not realise it would be a series. but also I don't feel like I want any more of the plot other than this one thing?#bisexual books#polyamorous books
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Uncle Wiley’s newest product: Paully Pocket for fun on the go! (Play set opens up into the starlight theater and is also plays music)
#this came to me in a vision#i needed to get it out there into the world#the guy who didn't like musicals#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#starkid#paul matthews#pokey#pokotho#uncle wiley#I hope someone finds this amusing because I’ve been in tears about it all day#I can’t even finish this I need y’all to see it
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something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known#he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky#he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc#he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!
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You’re looking for something— no, someone, too, aren’t you?
(I can’t comprehend how you understand what’s going on, with your lifeless shell. Craft as you are.)
#isat#in stars and time#live a live#isat loop#cube live a live#RAHHHHHH [COMBINES MY FIXATIONS]#behold my crack fic au. tiny robot in dormont#I’m cooking let me cook. cube has the little guy little dude vibes#and is also canonically like. a baby?#their chapter in the game happens the day they were finished#so. a baby.#cube is so <3. their chapter is a space horror#I would 100% recommend at least watching a video of it#IT GOES CRAZYYYYYY#pov flicking a card that says die child die at the floor. so#anyways. this au makes no sense to anyone but me#this is MY funny house and I’m going to play in it#worlds smartest baby [a robot] figures out timeloop shit before the party more at 2#if you ask I WILL ramble abt the concept of this au I will#<- trying desperately to get away from working on my other au post#[I need to draw smth for it and I’m struggling lollll]#sitting here like ughhh I don’t wanna draw this imageee [puts off entire au post]#ANYWAYSSSS#LOOP WOULD HATE THIS KID. the fuck is a robot.#the fuck is this damn thing and how has it read me literally immediately#how dare you be made of craft. be artificial. and be able to read my despair like a book#how dare you; a fake being made by someone else. be more human to me than the people that once were my party#how dare you want to help me when I dont know you because you didn’t EXIST in my loops#…but. uh. thanks for the coffee. even if I can’t drink it I recognize the sentiment. or whatever#falls to the floor dramatically. oughhhh loop and cube ougughhh
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“'Cause a good song never dies
It just reminds you of where you were
The first time it made you cry, the first time you felt alive
No, a good song never
Dies~”
#splynter art#rain world#iterator oc#rw iterator#HBBBR#tw eyestrain#Hi hello back on my bullshit#so this man seized me again#I drew this in a creative mania and would not be released until I finished#he’s so#he’s very#I can’t even explain him on tumblr
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youtube
mtc track sample~ i think what’s most notable about this sample is that
there’s change happening within juto’s force and it seems to be related to chuuoku
we have once again expressed how tired we are of chuuoku shenanigans
samatoki has been shown several times to have been moved by ichiro’s words and ideals as of late and it seems to have come to fruition here with samatoki seeing the block party and believing in a power that can change this shitty world
rio’s mates are ready to take down chuuoku once again lmao and mtc seems to want to stop them
#this is vee speaking#*falls to knees* guys i’m really sorry i haven’t posted that summary yet#between impostor syndrome and just being exhausted by my long hours i still haven’t finished it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#bb was the kickoff so their story’s stakes probably won’t be as high#tho i think there is just generally important stuff to know some of which i already posted about#i keep saying it but fr i’m sorry i’m not better at jp lol i even had a dream last night about failing to interpret someone’s jp#don’t have anxiety guys it fcks with you lol#i am so curious about that line delivery for juto agreeing the world can change lol#i can’t tell if that’s juto kinda 🫤 about it or like ‘woah??? hope from samatoki????’ lol#and uwu samatoki he wants to believe things can change 🥺🥺🥺 the kernel of hope nemu planted is sprouting with help from ichiro 🥺🥺🥺🥺#i’m feeling a little nervous on rio’s behalf and i’m not sure why lol i’m sure it’s nothing tho#Youtube
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i’m so overwhelmed by things that shouldn’t be overwhelming...
#among them‚ i’ve fallen behind on drscula dauly for the first time this year and it’s stressing me out cuz i really really wanted to keep up#this year that was the one goal i had for the year is keep up with it. last year i fell way behind when my brother died and it was so hard#catching up and the entry on the 30th was a little longer than they’ve been recently and i’ve been busy and also slipping back into depressi#on real bad and i’m just not in the mood for it and i feel like it’s just gonna snowball#and this is such a non issue. it’s a book. that i’ve read before. but still it’s just stressing me out. among other things#like library books that are overdue and i haven’t finished or journal entries i want to write or a letter i’ve been wanting so badly to writ#e and a short story idea that i wanted to write down but is escaping me and fucking. tumblr notifications#these are non issues!!! but it feels like there’s a timer for the world to end again all the same.#ugh#and i should be able to focus on one thing and get it done! these things shouldn’t be hard! they’re even meant to be enjoyable! but i can’t#get myself to do anything lately#and on top of all that i’m not able to fall asleep even with my sleep meds.#what even ever‚‚‚#anyway sorry for the rant i’m basically fine
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If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.
#this is slightly joking but like also not but also like am mixed on Ulysses on many factors#infuriating because i sympathize with his pain but it’s like#he is a well written and fundamentally flawed character whose hypocrisy I found doubly in#black characters I can tell were designed by white people with a semblance of an understanding of activism and bipoc oppression#but not enough for the character to not feel like hand holding for the majority white audience#plus personal grips with the whole twisted hairs thing and reference to slave braiding patterns#Ulysses irks me as a black person on a weird personal level and I can go into debt on why him being black is a big detractor for him to me#like he continues this cycle of distancing himself from his roots before remembering over and over again through his actions#he leave so much in his wake that the courier ends up correcting or helping like in honest hearts and old world blues because he’s self#righteous in a subtle way even to himself that he believes he stand out of his one man rule when he does not play an active hand#saw a post talk about how you choose to continue moving through his story and can leave at any moment and this it is partially your fault#but what of the oath that is set before you and is forced to take that he set up#I do not have to walk it but when I do the steps are not my own but those taken for me#you have to go out of your way to change it which is not something he expects because he’s playing by a story he’s been perpetuating in his#head about you two and the effect one man has when he’s continually been that one man more so than you as many of his actions directly lead#to the one you go through also the irony in the flag he continues to bear being the real reason he has no home#like he reps it when the package is likely enclave and thus use the same symbol#also still can’t get over how anyone could have delivered the package and he tries so hard to act like it was the couriers destiny or fate#when this was the one case of chance and that once man was likely a enclave engineer and how it’s really is never one man#it the process and he’s so annoying about it like he’s a cool character but if you don’t believe in his philosophy or already went through#these ideas cause they are very common talking points in poc especially BIPOC spaces he’s just old hashings and stunted#fallout#fallout new vegas#Ulysses you upset me but I’m like I feel you could be better if you weren’t so incessant#I don’t think I ever want to make a serious post stating this about him just because I’d start yapping and it’d never get finished#ulysses fnv#fnv ulysses#lonesome road
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Chapter 89
I just finished Chapter 89
#I just finished Chapter 89… I don’t know what else to say… I have a lot to say… but… like… no. Just no.#Kingdom of Ash spoilers in tag and I guess kinda post but not really#90s only gonna hurt more with Abraxos & Narene & I hate reading reactions & Dorian’s not there & Manon my love like what do we do now what#first read#reading reacts#live updates#read with me#cry with me die with me idk cause why with me all I have now is bad rhymes cause my brain has been evaporated too (too soon?)#read along#Chapter 89#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah Jessica Maas why did you do this to me#I miss ACOTAR where no one dies#I mean it’s well written#and I’m fangirl heartbroken#but also real world crying#cathartic read world grief Maasverse moments and love and loving and hope and destruction and despair and fangirling and feels and agh#this better have a happy ending#I can’t keep calm but I guess I’ll read on#I don’t know the last time a book made me actually cry this much and broke my heart so deeply… I miss you already Asterin… Vesta… Sorrel… 13#stupid tag letter count cut off stopping me from listing them all but my loves … always … until the darkness claims us… and even then…#I am not okay#I am dead inside#I will never recover#KoA actually stands for Killed Off All of my soul that’s what the KOA part means#SARAH WHAT DID YOU DO#I wish I could hug fictional characters#haven’t finished the book yet just the chapter that finished me#once 13 always 13#I prefered live Fenrys since it ACTUALLY INVOLVED LIVING
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If anyone remembers all the dental work I needed done uhhhhhhh three years ago and never went back and ran away forever…I’m finally going back to a dentist on Thursday to restart the process and face my deep and utter abiding terror. And I also scheduled my COVID and flu vaccines for a couple hours later. And my psych appointment to restart meds.
I figured get it all done in one day, have my miserable immune reaction on Friday that I seem to always get with Moderna COVID shots, and then flee directly into the weekend and never be a person again except when I’m on and off crying. It’s going to be so kind to future me to get these things done and I can do it no matter how much I feel like I am constantly about to Actually Physically Die.
#you can see why I’m restarting meds#my brain is constantly convincing me that my teeth are about to actually finish rotting out of my mouth and I probably have an abscess#already that is going to give me a jaw or heart infection#which is VERY unlikely#and that my dog is deeply sick and I should rehome her and give her to someone who’ll take proper care of her and isn’t me#yadda yadda#it’s been fucking miserable#the only good part is 1) I’m going to get the worst part over with (starting the process) and#2) even if I completely flee and refuse to go back I’ll have one dental cleaning at least helping with plaque buildup and stuff#this is so fucking EMBARRASSING it’s all so EMBARASSING#it shouldn’t be this hard for me and I know it’s irrational#I’m just so scared because it’s so triggering for me for NO REASON and#I KNOW that this time when we get to the multiple fillings and at least one root canal and also my impacted wisdom teeth that it’ll be#different and I won’t go un-numb or if I do again they’ll have better checks in place for when I panic lie to their faces#but it doesn’t help#and I’m so sure they’re gonna tell me I need three or more root canals because I’ve waited way way too long#and I STILL can’t consistently keep up with brushing and flossing#which is the most embarassing and shameful thing in the world and I KNOW#but I’m scared shitless of all of it and it’s all a sensory nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway I’m not going to be okay later this week and I’m not particularly okay now#so if I’m not around online much#that’s why#but I’m happy news Aoife and I are having some lovely walks this week and she’s very cute and snuggly and we played tug a lot of times yest#*yesterday and she also stayed sniffing a bush while a bike went past two feet away#instead of getting startled and needing to hop or bark at it and then calm down#I’m so proud of her#and I wouldn’t be able to do this at all without my very kind partner who spearheaded scheduling the dentist (and researching places)#after my jaw pain nervous breakdown last week#health#personal
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sci fi and fantasy genres are really for minorities and while i’m not surprised white cishet men in particular have dominated and claimed those genres as theirs, it’s so like….frustrating watching them butcher the genres again and again. ceaselessly. without an ounce of self awareness.
#obviously not to say they can’t write within the genres but it’s like#so clear they’ve never understood sci fi and fantasy the way minorities have#and that’s because those genres are tools used to explore our own society and lives and existence#and they often lack that clarity even when they think they don’t#there was an intro to the collection of short stories called ‘octavia’s brood’ where they said that#activism is its own form of science fiction#where we attempt to imagine a fictional world where we have solved these problems#where we fight to see that world#and i think sci fi and fantasy has always been that tool#and men continue to miss it#sorry random cielo thoughts today#i just finished left hand of darkness and started the fifth season#and have been watching house of the dragon and it’s like#so apparent to me who the masters of these genres are!!! and who the tourists are#and yet look who is getting the million dollar shows……………#cielo rambles!
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It’s so good to see you.
Lies of P (2023)
#I finished lying and penising for the last time…#I got the game for my PS5 after 100%ing it on game pass bc I was so impressed and obsessed I needed to get a physical copy#so I obviously had to 100% it again and I hilariously forgot to read a letter to unlock an achievement#so I had to play the game a FOURTH TIME since you only get the letter at the end and restarting the game wipes all letters from your bag#but that let me do something I LOVE doing with these shorter games#which is putting the effort to give these characters the best endings their quests allow#so I can leave the characters in the world with as much peace as I can#I also did this in majora’s mask with my final run of the game being about doing every single side quest I could and beating ever boss#so that termina would be as peaceful as it would be once the mask was destroyed and skull kid freed#that being said wearing the alidoro mask led to an unintentionally hilarious semi final cutscene#a tear is supposed to roll down your face at one point but instead it was just a completely still super close shot of the dog mask#and I burst out laughing like nooooooo#luckily I’ve scene the ending like 3 times already but can you imagine if that was the only time I’d seen it 😂#I one rounded nameless puppet this time I truly felt like a god I’m so grateful for neowiz for making this game its been so fun#even after beating it like 7 times I know I’ll be playing it again one day and I’m gonna be a preorder ho for the Lies of series#the DLC and sequel can’t come soon I’m so in love with this game I need to eat it#Lies of P#video games#lies of p sophia#lies of p carlo
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one. One more comparison picture.
I’ve come a long way with my fursuit making skills even on just my 4th suit. Confetti will always be special bc she was my first and I poured a lot of love into her but I don’t think I will wear her ever again. She a real one tho.
#im emo about how happy I am with mysterie#finishing this project brought me a lot of joy and excitement#I can’t wait to make more! and improve even further!#just remember kids….don’t give up on your projects even if you don’t think they will look good#even with confetti! I was so happy with her at the time despite her flaws#like damn I made this.#and even if your first try is shit and this goes for anything really#just keep going!! keep creating!! that’s the most wonderful thing about existing#is the ability to create#to share your heart with the world in whatever form you choose
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11 13 and 19 for the naruto ask thing im so curious 😳
hiyaa thank you for sending the ask 🫰🏾🫰🏾🫰🏾 11: is Itachi a martyr, a victim, or a perpetrator?
Given that itachi was 13 when we murdered his clan I’d he’s a victim. We was the at the “right” age for all that has happened to him be possible. But I can’t help but have a bad taste in my mouth as I say this cuz he did everything possible thing wrong for Sasuke’s sake. I like itachi only in the context of him being Sasuke brother. His love for Sasuke is so profound it makes me so upset thinking of all the things he could’ve done to save his bby brother like it makes me wanna kill their father. This is all his fault!!!!!
13: was kakashi trying his best? / was he a "good" sensei? I feel the same about itachi as I do kakashi. They were all so young when they experienced all there tragedies that made them make all the wrong decisions:(( his hole thing with his father??? I think he was trying his best under the circumstances he grew up in (in his younger years) but was a bad teacher cuz why was he minato’s student but horrible to naruto? He probably forgot Sakura’s name on multiple occasions. He should’ve worked on himself more
19: pettiest fandom opinion you've blocked someone for?
Honestly idk lol but I think someone said something bad about gaara and like that’s illegal so. I unfollowed a lot of ppl who repeat the same takes from 2018 about sns and getting angry and treating them like irl ppl when it’s drawings it’s weird.
#Txt#milestual#Naruto#Asks#idc for kakashi as a character at least not anymore I used to think he was cool but 🤷🏾 I love gaara too much#I can’t make a good analysis of naruto cuz kishimoto is so insane for writing all these things#Why kakashi join the anbu at age 6 or 8 like??? The brain is not even finished forming what the hell#They’re all child soldiers who never learned do to be adults so I can’t even criticize them cuz the fault lies in the world they live in
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