#A Speculative Poetry Reader

[lusmeitli]

But like of each thing that in season grows

Summary: How a kind gesture can lead to something more. One shot.

Pairings: Loki x Female Reader

Warnings: Christmas fluff, mention of off screen assault, some swearing, lots of snow, books, poetry, smutty smut.

A/N: Okay, look. It just wanted to get out. You’re thrown in without a warning, nor a floatie. Apologies for the liberties taken to interpret and manipulate characters to dance after my will once more. Obviously don't read if you're a minor.

9~9~9~9~9~9~9~9~9~9~9~9~9~9~9~9

The greatest ideas were conceived in the shower. That was a scientific fact.

You liked facts. You did not like uncertainties or speculation. The feeling of being in limbo was something that didn’t sit right with you.

So as you were in the shower, working the conditioner in your hair, the idea was just there. It was simple, humble, but beautiful. Your hands slowed and stilled. And then your mind rebooted and went at lightning speed, planning things out. You needed to write things down.

You stepped out of the shower hurriedly, towelling down your body, before realising that your hair felt different. Cursing, you stepped back under the water to rinse off the conditioner.

*****

You hated staff meetings. Particularly third Thursdays staff meetings, because they dragged on and on. The weekly mission reports were presented and Fury insisted on inviting some guest speakers. He called it “Horizon Thursday”.

In your opinion it narrowed rather than widened it. Today’s guest speaker was Quinn Harris, cyber security specialist. You suspected self-proclaimed, but you hadn’t bothered doing a deep dive on him.

You were sat on the increasingly uncomfortable chair, rows of employees in front of you, the Avengers at the very front. Rogers had delivered his usual military style mission report, the other members of his team trying to look alive, though you suspected Romanoff and Banner were asleep, as they were both donning sunglasses.

“What you need is a quantum computer and it’ll solve all your problems with encryption.”

“They might as well propose using block ciphers,” you murmured under your breath, turning the page in your book.

Meanwhile, a hand shot in the air at the front. “Excuse me, Mr Harris.”

The man smiled. “Mr Stark, do you have a question?”

“Well, not so much a question for you, but I would very much like the opinion of another expert on what you just said. You know, before anyone here thinks about investing in your product, which, let’s be honest, would be me. I’d like to be sure it’s the right thing.”

Fury rolled his eyes and sunk back in his chair.

There had been talk about getting that dude in? You must have zoned out for that part.

Harris’ face fell for a second, but he honed his features and forced a smile. “Of course.”

“It just so happens that we have an inhouse expert,” Tony got up and scanned the crowd. “Isn’t that right, Y/N?”

Everyone uniformly turned to look at you. Everyone.

You felt the moment one particular pair of eyes set on you. The amount of times you had spoken to one another had been limited to the missions you were needed on, for hacking. You’d had his voice in your ear a few times and it did things to your body that made you feel like a system overheat. You never really saw him during missions though as your job was very much office-bound.

Today, he wore the damn leather suit. Whilst Fury didn’t give a fuck, Rogers very much was all about the professional appearance of the Avengers. What you didn’t understand was why everything looked better on him. The black and green possibly was the best colour combination there ever was. The other day Bucky had worn a Slytherin pullover and even though it very nicely accentuated his physique, it looked nothing like the colours did on Loki.

You swallowed hard when you felt his eyes on you. They seemed to see right through you, even over the distance of the seven rows of chairs.

And then you felt the weight of all the other pairs of eyes on you. That was a lot of people. You gulped and pushed your glasses back up the bridge of your nose - a habit you couldn’t break. 

“Y/N,” Tony called, bringing you back to the matter at hand. “Stand up and look at me.” His voice was gentle. “Start breathing again. Good. Now tell me what Harris is not telling me about the quantum computer.”

You adjusted your glasses again and cleared your throat. “It’s a solid proposition, I suppose,” you started, “however, one I would expect from a college freshman, certainly not from a cyber security expert specialist.”

Murmurs erupted, but you ignored them and rattled off your thoughts.

“Can a quantum computer crack asymmetric encryption algorithms? Yes. And yes, we all know that thanks to Shor’s algo the maths problems are only polynomial. Also, we know this applies to discrete log problems, too, therefore, all we’d need is a large enough quantum computer. Of course, he,” you gestured to Harris, “would have to build one first, which as you can guess is very costly. However, this entire presentation is based on the assumption that quantum computing is the end of asymmetric cryptography. And that is such a blatantly ignorant approach, with complete disregard for the safety of the members of our staff that are entirely reliant on the encryption cracking working on all their devices during operations and missions. And this whole quantum computer only works if you have a network connection.”

“So you’re suggesting there are hard problems that a quantum computer can’t solve?” Harris said, chin jutting out, arms crossed defiantly.

“Don’t be silly, of course there are,” you huffed. “I coded new post-quantum asymmetric encryption algos three years ago and tested them on several sites I am not authorised to disclose that have quantum computers. Not one of them cracked the simplest of those codes, in any of the over 5,400 attempts they ran over the past three years. So this presentation is… rather embarrassing in its sloppiness.”

“Well,” Harris’ lips were a thin line now. “I’m sure you have a ‘much better’ suggestion then?” He actually raised his hands to add the quotation marks.

“Actually, I do. I developed our own version of a quantum computer, at - and I’m only guessing here - a fraction of the price you’d charge Mr Stark, which can crack both symmetric and asymmetric encryption, works on all of our staff’s devices, portable and stationary, works offline and is about the size of, uh, a thumbnail.”

You pointed to your thumb, because in your humble experience men like him struggled to accurately size things.

Tony smiled and turned to Harris.

“Okay that concludes today’s meeting.” Fury got to his feet and patted Harris’ shoulder. “Looks like we’re good, but thanks for coming.”

People around you stood, some nodding at you as they passed. Tony caught up with you in the hallway. Before he could say something you blurted out: “Did I say something wrong? Was I rude again?”

He smirked and pushed the button of the lift. “He needed putting into place. Totally fine by me. You did great.”

“Stark!” bellowed Fury from down the hall and Tony winced.

“Excuse me, mother’s calling.” He turned and left.

You sidled into the lift with several other people. The cabin stopped a few floors up and people got off. That was when you noticed Loki on the other side of the lift. Up you went and after another stop you were alone with the Asgardian god. The cabin seemed to shrink.

You both watched the numbers climb, the lift hummed, Loki’s leather suit creaked softly as he crossed his hands behind his back.

“Could you please enlighten me about Shor’s algorithm?” he suddenly asked, looking at you.

You had a heart palpitation. Surely that was what it was. He was so impossibly tall and sculpted and… here.

“Um,” you pushed your glasses back up, “it’s a quantum algorithm for finding the prime factors of an integer.”

Loki’s face looked blank.

“It, er, essentially it finds the prime factors of large numbers a lot faster than conventional computers do. Which we use in encryption. The large numbers, that is. So it cracks codes faster.”

“Ah,” he said, head turning back to continue staring at the number display. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you croaked out.

The urge to facepalm burned under your fingers, but you resisted. As soon as the doors slid open on your floor, however, you fled and sought asylum in the ladies’ toilets, banging your head against the wall of the stall.

*****

Operation Great Idea was in full swing.

So you’ve had a little personal setback, but that didn’t deter you from the objective. You had compiled a list, one you were confident was accurate based on your intel and research. That very list was neatly folded in the deep pocket of your coat as you walked through the cold rain on this late November afternoon.

Yes, you did something you’d never done before - take an afternoon off - and were trying to evade puddles on your way to the bookshop. Could you have ordered the books online? Most of them, certainly. But your late mother, an independent business owner, had ingrained in you to support local shops. You liked bookshops, they reminded you of her and of simpler times.

Your timing was excellent - of course you had researched when the shop was least busy - and you practically had the shop to yourself. And so you walked, dragging a pull-along basket behind you as you searched the shelves for the books on the list.

Sometimes, there were different editions there and you stood for a while, feeling the weight of each book in your hand, the feel of the embossed letters on the spine, the scent of the pages. You wanted it to be just right, so you took your time.

Some of the books you would only be able to get in a little second hand bookshop, tucked away in a side street. You had called beforehand and the owner lifted a box from under the counter to show you what she had reserved for you. As soon as your fingers made contact with the books you felt absolutely giddy.

Back at the Tower, you spent two entire evenings wrapping books after work. When you were finished, you leaned back, looking at the neatly organised stack. Yes, you were ready. Now all you needed was an exorbitant amount of luck for the next 24 days.

*****

You watched Loki stare suspiciously at the first parcel. He was sitting in the communal kitchen, Thor next to him. 

“Why would it be hexed?” Thor asked. “Simply because the sender is missing?”

Loki just gave him a pointed look.

“Come, brother, aren’t you curious to find out what is in this gift?”

“Loki got a present?” Steve asked as he pulled a bowl out of a cupboard. “Did I miss his birthday?”

Before Loki could say anything, Thor shook his head. “He’s worried it has been tampered with.”

Roger’s brows furrowed. “How did it get into your possession?”

“It was on the floor outside my door this morning,” Loki complied, sighing.

“FRIDAY would have picked up on any foreign substances or intruders in the tower,” Tony said between gulps of coffee. “He now can detect traces of magic, too. ‘Course, he went apeshit over your magic, but we got it under control, eventually.”

“That’s what all this ‘Alert, alert, magic detected, caution advised’ blaring at five in the morning was?” Scott bustled in.

A slight tinge of red shaded Loki’s complexion. “I have to practise some time.”

“Thought you were born with it?” Scott interjected, helpfully.

This earned him a glare. “I was born with the aptitude for magic and sorcery. It takes a lot more than mere talent to achieve this level of proficiency.”

“Several centuries, in fact,” his brother supplied. “Now then Stark here says it’s safe. So open it, brother!” Thor clapped his hands together. 

Loki indignantly and very reluctantly slid the parcel towards him and pulled on the simple string that held the wrapping together. The paper fell open to reveal one of the books you had picked.

From your vantage point of, well, your computer screen, you zoomed in to get a better look at him.

“Oh, a book,” you heard the onlookers muttering disappointedly, quickly losing interest and going about their business once more.

But Loki just sat, staring at the book. It took him a good few minutes to pick it up. And he did what you had seen him do many times before. He weighed it in his hands, fingertips running over the cover, the spine. Then he opened the lid. To anyone else it might not have been noticeable, but to you it was: he inhaled the scent of the book. And finally, there was the smallest upturn of his lips.

You exhaled, relieved. One down 23 more to go.

*****

Over the next week you were too busy testing the new firewall you had developed to check on Loki’s reaction. Sometimes you felt a little self-conscious, scared even that he might not like the books or think this was from a stalker. Which technically you had indulged in, stalking that was, but only to find the perfect books for him. And then sometimes you would get worried that someone else might have found the presents.

But you knew he had received every single one of them, for every evening, when you passed the common area you saw him sitting on the couch with the latest offering in his hands. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but it looked as if his tense shoulders had started to relax a bit.

Another couple of days went by and as the decorations started to pop up in the Tower and the first snow fell that didn’t immediately melt or turn to mush you felt happy. Perhaps it also had something to do with the fact that a certain someone walked differently. Maybe it was your imagination. But he seemed even taller these days.

*****

“Did it work?” you heard his voice in your ear a couple days later.

The data set was streaming on the screen in front of your eyes. “It did. Give me a moment to inject the virus, then you can disconnect the USB cable.”

“Can I still talk to you?”

Your fingers on the keyboard stilled for a moment, surprised. “Of course. The program runs through your phone, not through comms.”

There was a little pause, before he said: “I have a question. About a Midgardian tradition.”

You wrinkled your nose, scanning the code rushing over the screen. “I’ll try my best, but I’m rubbish at traditions.”

The audible outbreath sent shivers down your spine. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

“What’s your question then?”

“Tell me about the Yuletide calendar.”

45% done. “You mean the Advent calendar?”

“Precisely.”

This was dangerous territory you were treading on. “Oh, it’s a fun thing for kids, really. To make the wait for Christmas a bit more exciting and I guess more bearable. It’s nice to get a little something like a toy.”

“Is it always toys?”

69% now. “Well, no. My mum used to get me an advent calendar that had these lovely drawings behind each door. I hung it up in the front room and we’d open it together every morning.”

“I suppose it’s a nice custom,” he said, before asking, “What about grown ups, do they have advent calendars?”

83%. “Sometimes. There’s all sorts: beer, wine, beauty products, chocolates - you name it, it probably exists somewhere.”

“Books, too?”

The question threw you, did he know it was you? A light was blinking on your screen.

100%.

“That’s it, Loki, the virus is uploaded, you can unplug the cable now and get out of there.”

“Thank you, Y/N.”

You heard a crackle and the comms was handed over to operations again. As you finished running the decryption programme on the data Loki had extracted, you kept hearing his voice in your head.

“Books, too?” Were you busted?

*****

Security breaches were both an insult as well as an admittedly welcome challenge to you. Someone had tried to flex their fingers - and you had a very good idea who - to break into Stark’s network. They had managed to pierce a little hole into the outer layer of the firewall, but they didn’t know that you had several back up plans in place and you enjoyed watching them work. However, as you scanned over the intruder’s code you devised a new security strategy.

You were in the middle of coding a nice little primer for a new layer - unexpected because of its simplicity, but a tough little nut to crack - when someone cleared their throat next to you. You looked up to find Loki, his eyes fixed on you. You blinked, looked around, but no one else was there, and back up at the god.

“Can I, uh, help you?” Smooth. You facepalmed internally.

“I realised I have never been in here,” he said, looking around the room, then back at your desk. “You have a lot of monitors.”

You waved your hand dismissively. “Just the standard three.”

“What are you doing now? Or is it a secret?”

“It’s not a secret at all. So we’re currently under attack. Relax,” she said when she noticed him tense, “cyberattack. Someone’s knocking at our backdoor, trying to see if they can get in.”

You motioned to one of your screens. “This is the intruder’s code. He’s trying out lots of keys to see if he can get in. And this,” you pointed to the screen next to it, “is our defence mechanism.”

“Extraordinary.” Loki’s low voice murmured. He was close. You turned your head and nearly had a heart attack at just how close. His sharp profile was illuminated by the blue glow of the monitor, his hair falling to his shoulders, one hand splayed on the desk, the other resting on the back of your chair. He looked beautiful. Perfect. He was leaning closer to the screen so he could see what was going on. Your breath hitched.

And then he turned his head.

Something that sounded an awful lot like a squeak escaped your throat.

Loki lifted an eyebrow. “Am I making you nervous, Agent Y/N?”

You pushed your glasses up your nose and leaned back, just an inch. “No?”

Loki’s eyes drifted over your face, before they met your gaze again. “Is that a question or a statement?”

“A… a statement,” you mumbled and, for good measure, added, “sir.”

His eyes darkened, a smirk curling the left side of his lips. “Are you scared of me?”

You tilted your head ever so slightly. “How can I be scared of you?”

“You’ve heard the stories, undoubtedly.”

“I did. And if I believed everything people told me and not looked beyond I would be incredibly shitty at my job.”

He smiled at that. It was small, but there, and it made him so attractive you felt your stupid heart starting to pound in your chest. Could he hear it?

“Do you like to read, Agent Y/N?”

Another adjustment of your glasses. “I do.”

“What would you say is your favourite book?” His voice was low and smooth.

His hand moved from your desk to the side of your face, where he gently pulled on a tendril, before he brushed it behind your ear. The back of his fingers skimmed your cheek for less than a second, but it sent you reeling. It was as if an electromagnetic pulse was slowly wiping clean your hard drive. You couldn’t think.

“Um, err, Jane.. Jane Eyre.”

He hummed. “I wonder why? Is it because she’s abandoned and rejected all her life?”

You shook your head slowly. “No. Because she’s forced to leave home, into a life she didn’t choose. But when she is given the freedom and space to grow she learns to be the master of her happiness.”

His eyes followed the curve of your neck and back up again. It almost felt as if he was touching you. “Interesting.”

You swallowed again, before he stood upright, nodded at you, turned and left. 

Your heart was pounding. And then your computer beeped and your attention was back on the screen.

“Oh pants…” Your fingers started flying over the keyboard. “Not today, Harris. Or any other day.”

Nine more books to go.

*****

He was onto you. Of course he was. After all, he was the God of Mischief and Lies. If anyone would find out who was behind this, it would be him. Personally, the preferred outcome was that he never would find out.

You had asked yourself often over the last 18 days why exactly you wanted to do this for him. But that was just it. You really had no other motive than wanting to do this for him. Maybe because you sympathised with him, being stuck somewhere far from home, feeling lonely and not really integrated. Maybe you had projected your own feelings onto him a tiny little bit. Possibly considerably. However, it was done with the best of intentions. You wanted to make this nice for him. The run up to Christmas. A little bit magical. He must like magic, he was a sorcerer after all, wasn’t he?

So what if you had started dreaming of him at night. He would lean over you as you sat at your desk, in all his tall- and broadness. This time his hands would be touching you. And he’d lean in to whisper into your ear. Admittedly, not words you would necessarily associate with such a situation.

When you would wake up you knew where to place the things he said to you in your dreams. He’d said them to you during missions. And yes, “how much longer till the download is complete, Agent Y/N?” was not remotely as sexy as “I’m going to ravish you now, thoroughly” would have been, for example. But your brain only had so much to work with and it worked for you.

You noticed a few things, however. Loki was around more often, probably just a silly coincidence, or you had started to pay more attention. He looked at you now. You’d look up and find him already looking at you, sometimes a little smile crossed his lips, but mostly it was just something with his eyes, they seemed… warmer, maybe?

However, to your horror you discovered that you had started to blush. Every single time this happened. So you spent a lot of time in the ladies’ toilets, splashing your face with cold water, only to see it even more flushed than before. Apparently, all the books you had read lied about that ‘splashing your face with cold water to calm down and not make people notice’-thing.

But it all boiled down to the fact that he was onto you. Maybe he was humouring you and seeing where this was going. Maybe he had found out already and you made him feel awkward. Or he was waiting for the opportune moment to expose and humiliate you. You weren’t sure which.

Right now it didn’t matter. You were so tired you could hardly see properly anymore. So when you decided to crash on the sofa in the common room, because it was halfway to your room, you didn’t think to check if anyone was there.

That was mistake number one.

You collapsed onto the sofa with a groan, eyes closed, head leaning against the back of the sofa.

“Fuck. My. Fucking. Life,” you complained to the universe. “Can you please make the appendage of that misogynistic wanker fall off already? For fuck’s sake!”

Mistake number two.

Someone chuckled. It came from rather close to you.

Dread filled you. Foul language was not tolerated in the workplace. To be fair you could argue that the common room was not your workplace per se, however, you did not want to start arguing with HR because they were absolute savages in the art of word twisting. Or just savages full stop.

Carefully, you cracked your eyes open. And there, on the sofa right next to you, sat Loki. One leg was stretched out in all its glorious length, the other bent at the knee, his forearm resting over it, the book in his lap now closed, one of his slender fingers acting as bookmark. For a moment you wondered what it would feel like to be the book.

“I hope it’s not my appendage you’re asking to be removed,” he said with a smirk.

You grappled to sit up, horrified. “Of course not! That would be awful… I mean, a terrible thing to wish for… you’d… err… such a loss of such a beautiful… I mean, I can only guess… but… um, err… heavens, please make me stop talking…”

You hid your head in a throw pillow, wishing the floor would open up and swallow you whole.

Mistake number three.

The sound of a low, rumbly laugh made its way to your ears. It entered your system like a virus, leaving your limbs feeling weak and yearning. Was Loki laughing? You lifted your head and watched him, highly bemused at your idiotic display.

It was the most beautiful thing you’d ever heard. You felt a hard tug at your heart. Goodness, if this man wasn’t already a god, you’d have to declare him one. If he were the head of a religion you would throw out your atheist views and follow him to the end of the multiverse. He looked absolutely breathtaking. Then again, when did he not?

“I’m so sorry,” you started to apologise, “I don’t know what-”

With superhuman speed he moved and sat next to you, his finger on your lips. The feel of his digit on your mouth felt more intimate than any sexual intercourse you’d ever had.

And then he leaned in.

He was so close your cells were basically breathing him in. His eyes were locked onto yours and nothing would have been able to make you look away right then.

“Do you want to know what book I’m reading right now?” His quiet words did things to your insides that were not legal.

You just about managed to nod, his finger still in place.

“‘The Remains of the Day’ by Kazuo Ishiguro. Do you know it?” He waited for your affirmation. “It’s about a man who is in love with a woman. But he doesn’t tell her. When they meet again after decades, she tells him her life would have been different if she had married him. And you know what he does? He still won’t admit his feelings to her. He walks away from her. The first time he lets her go, the second time he walks away.”

You remembered the book very well. You had picked it out for him, after all.

“It’s a cruel story, Y/N. A love that is never acknowledged, nor consumed.” Loki’s eyes drifted from yours down to your mouth. His finger slowly traced the outline of your lips. It was too much, your eyes closed.

“Do you think love is this cruel?” Loki asked quietly. You felt his words as he spoke them almost onto your skin. So close.

“It-it can be,” you whispered. “But maybe, maybe that wasn’t the point of the story.”

“No?”

You opened your eyes to find him looking at you. He’d moved away a bit, giving you some space, waiting for you to elaborate.

“Maybe the point was to show that he chose his job over love. Twice. You can call it dignity or pride, but at the end he’s alone. Without love.”

“What about you, Y/N? Do you have love in your life?”

You weren’t able to look into his eyes. Slowly, you got off the sofa. You turned back to him to respond to find he’d stood up, too.

You looked down at your shoes. His shoes were black, of course, polished, perfect, like him. Yours were several seasons old. Worn. A bit of the shoe sole had started to peel off at the top of your toes. The bit you always kicked into the floor when you worked.

Your eyes wandered up his trousers, black, to the belt, his pullover, also black. He looked effortlessly elegant, poised. You, on the other hand, looked a mess, even in your work attire. Your heart grew heavy at the realisation. Your dreams were stupid. Turned out your heart was even more stupid. And suddenly you felt incredibly small in more ways than one next to the tall, powerful god.

Swallowing a lump in your throat, you said: “I have known love, once. A long time ago.”

With that you pivoted on your heels and left, leaving Loki alone in the common room.

*****

Harris was an absolute tosser.

He just couldn’t leave things be. He insisted on trying to show you up, so he tried and tried to hack his way through your firewalls. Of course he had tried to hide his identity and it had made you chuckle, because you seriously had no idea how he could ever dare call himself a cyber security specialist if he covered up his tracks like a novice hacker.

In a way it was cute, but it was getting to the point of obsessive stalking and you frankly were rather tired of this little game by now. Particularly, since it kept you from your nice, warm, comfortable bed well past midnight.

However, Harris seemed to have changed tactics and started to badmouth you in the industry. Even Fury had called Tony and asked whether he should be worried, because Harris had dug up some hacking you’d done when you were much younger and much less ethical. Really it was unhinged, but everyone worked through teenage years in their own way.

You only knew this because you happened to be in Tony’s office and he had Fury on loudspeaker. Tony had pacified Fury without batting an eye, then hung up and asked if you’d be okay with him paying Harris a little visit, preferably as Iron Man. You had both laughed it off. But it bugged you.

So when you were on your way back to the tower from the compulsory (for all employees) counselling session and someone grabbed you, you weren’t surprised to come face to face with Harris. He didn’t lay a finger on you. No, he got two goons to do that for him.

Later, as you stumbled out of the lift and along the corridor, trying to make your way to your room, someone blocked your way.

“Speak of the devil! Y/N! We were just talking about you.” Tony. Other voices around him.

You kept your head down, thinking of how to get out of this unnoticed.

“We were just wondering if– Y/N? What happened?” You saw Tony’s hand reach out for you, but you flinched away.

Silence fell for a long moment.

Then a movement. Shoes appeared in your line of vision. You knew those shoes well. They had been on display on the couch for the past 22 days, attached to an Asgardian god.

He slowly held out his hand, palm up. An assurance, no harm. You gave the slightest nod. He moved the hand up and placed a finger under your chin so carefully you wanted to sob. The faintest of pressure had you lift your head to look up at Loki. His eyes scanned your appearance, stopping at your bruised hands that were trying to hold together your coat, taking in the blood splatters on the fabric, your busted lip, the lopsided glasses, the badly bent temple dangling off its hinge.

You never understood the expression ‘his features darkened’. You did now. Loki’s face transformed and you saw for the first time what a dangerous man he could be. Power radiated off him. You were glad it was not directed at you. His nostrils flared and you almost heard how much he was clenching his teeth.

“Names,” he ground out.

A hot tear rolled down your cheek and now that it started it didn’t want to stop. His eyes softened, something akin to vulnerability flitting across his features.

“H–Har…”

“Harris?” Tony asked softly. You nodded, still looking at Loki.

Loki rolled his lips in his mouth, his thumb swiping ever so lightly over the skin of your chin, before dropping his hand and walking to the lift in long strides.

“Nat?” Tony asked, the spy already by your side.

“Hold up, Reindeer Games!” Tony hollered behind you, as Romanoff led you down the corridor to your room. “I’m coming, too…”

It felt as if you were having an out of body experience as you were peeled out of your bloodied coat, your clothes and body assessed quickly but gently. She pulled out her phone after she ushered you into the shower.

“Tony? No forced intercourse, but lots of bruising…,” was all you heard before the hot spray of the water ran into your ears, blocking all noise out.

*****

Your glasses were fixed and you could see properly again. That was important, otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to see Harris’ face on the news as he was escorted - handcuffed - from a courtroom and shoved into a police van, followed by the two goons who had helped him.

When you turned from the screen above the cashier, you saw Loki next to Tony across the canteen, looking at you. You walked over, clutching your sandwich.

“So, um… thank you,” you said, gesturing to the screen, “for that.”

Tony put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing gently, before his eyes gazed behind you. “Is that a double cheeseburger I see? Excuse me.”

And off he went, leaving you alone with the Asgardian god.

You shuffled your feet, studying the floor.

“Thanks again-”

“Are you okay?” 

You both said at the same time. You laughed quietly, looking up at him. He smiled. You’d never seen Loki smile.

“I’m fine, thank you,” you said.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

You wanted to say so much more, do so much more, like hug him. But he was a god. You weren’t exactly sure what the protocol was for hugging gods. The awkward silence thickened.

“So, I’ll see you around?”

He was still smiling. “Yes. See you around.”

You were fairly sure you were blushing as you scampered off, back to your office.

*****

Bryant Park was one of your favourite places to be in New York. For one, it was right behind the public library - your heaven. For another, it was close to the Tower and you could wander the paths under the lovely trees. The park was very busy as it was Christmas Eve and people wanted to while away the time in the Winter Village until the big day. But as the ice rink closed down and the skaters came off, noses and cheeks red from the cold, the park started to empty.

You sat on a bench under one of the trees, gloved hands deep in your coat pockets, a woolly hat and scarf keeping you warm. Your head was tilted back and you watched the snowflakes dance and twirl in the cold wind.

“Y/N,” someone called.

Loki stood a few metres away from you, a black coat making him look even taller. He was not donning a hat or a scarf, he looked comfortable with the cold. The snow clung to his dark hair, a soft dusting was on his shoulders. You envied the snowflakes.

You got to your feet and he took a few steps closer, looking down at you.

“Were you enjoying the activities?” Loki asked, nodding to the ice rink.

“No, I just… I just like to sit here,” you said, feeling a bit silly. “I like the trees and the snow. It’s… peaceful.”

He nodded.

“How about you? Fancied a turn on the ice?”

He laughed and you watched the cloud mix with your breath. Now you envied your breath.

“Actually, I was looking for you.”

“Me?”

He took another step towards you. “Yes.”

“Why? Did something happen at the Tower?” Worriedly, you fumbled your phone out of the coat pocket and checked it.

A large hand covered it. You looked up. “Nothing happened. I wanted to talk to you.”

Nervously, you glanced down at his hand that still covered your phone. If you hadn’t been wearing gloves your hands would have had actual skin on skin contact. He dropped his hand to his side.

“Am I in trouble?”

He shook his head. “I… I wanted to thank you.”

“What for?”

His hand pulled a book out of his pocket. “For this.” He slid it back in the folds of his coat.

“Oh.” You didn’t really know how to feel or react. You knew he’d been onto you, so it was no surprise he’d sussed it out. He was, after all, the God of Mischief and Lies. But you had to give him kudos for letting it play out.

“Um, you’re welcome.” You bit your lip.

“You don’t know what this meant– what this means to me.”

It was impossible to look at him.

“I was dreading this time of year here on Midgard. But your incredibly generous advent calendar made it feel… like when I first visited here with my mother.” He grasped your gloved hands in his. “I miss her dearly, so thank you. For giving me this.”

You were too choked up to say anything, so you just nodded.

“Can I enquire what your reason was?”

It was so cautious, as if he was worried it might scare you off. And yet, the question threw you, most likely because you had been asking yourself the very same thing from the moment of its conception in your shower. It was just there, a need, an urgency you didn’t know where it came from or why it existed. It was something you had to do. Like breathing.

But over the course of the last few weeks, particularly the last few days, it had become painfully clear why you did it.

“I wanted, no, I needed you to be happy.”

He squeezed your hands gently. The tips of his shoes, his shiny, polished shoes, now touched yours.

“Please look at me.”

So you did. He looked different… vulnerable maybe.

“Why do you need me to be happy?” The question was another cloud and you breathed it in, let it fill your lungs.

“Because…” You were afraid to say it, to admit it. But something in his eyes made you courageous. Either that, or foolish.

“Because I watched you, during missions and in briefings and ops planning. You started to believe what they said about you. And it’s not true. There’s so much you don’t share, don’t tell them and I see it. It’s right there in your eyes. And I didn’t want you to lose yourself. And it’s selfish, I know, but I need you to be happy… because if you are, so am I.”

“If you think that’s selfish, then I am guilty of this notion, too.”

Loki raised his right hand to run the backs of his fingers over your cold cheek. “I knew after three days it was you. I wanted to see where this was going, what your motivation was. And I… when I saw you after Harris… I was filled with so much rage and fear. That I would lose you. Before I had you.”

He leaned his forehead against yours, you closed your eyes, heart beating out of your chest at what you were hearing. Was this a dream?

Loki’s voice was just above a whisper. “Can I? Have you?”

You moved away slightly to look into his eyes. “Yes.”

He leaned in, his hands splaying on your back, as you stood on your toes. The moment his lips touched yours, you felt a current run straight to your heart. It was as if your brain rewired, the missing piece of the primer clicked into place and unlocked everything.

Snow was falling as Loki kissed you under the tree. You didn’t hear the whistles and hollering of passerbys. You didn’t feel the cold wind. You felt elated, buzzing even.

“Your phone is buzzing,” Loki murmured against your lips.

“Hm?” you said dreamily. 

“Your phone is buzzing,” Loki smiled, “someone’s calling you.”

Quickly you pulled out the damned device. Before you could even say your name, you heard Tony say: “So sorry for disrupting, Y/N, but we got a slight issue here that needs your expert skills pronto.”

You hung up, burying your head in Loki’s chest. His laugh rumbled in his chest. “We’ll talk more later.”

Breathing in his scent and holding onto him, you weren’t ready to let go. “Promise?”

*****

“Oh god, yes,” you sighed in absolute bliss. “That’s the spot, right there.”

Your groan sounded through the kitchen. You deserved that after three hours of extra work on Christmas Eve.

“Here?” Nat asked.

“Yes, yes! Please don’t stop,” you begged, putty in her hands, eliciting more noises from you.

“Maybe you should try yoga. Your shoulders and your whole upper body are so tense and full of knots. There’s a class I go to tomorrow at lunchtime, if you want to join me?”

“No time,” you murmured. “Heavens, Nat, what else can you do with those hands?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she teased.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Banner interrupted, grabbing Nat by the hand and dragging her to the door. “I’m happy to share my girlfriend’s masseuse skills for a severe case of muscle lock, but I’m afraid I have a personal request now.”

You opened your eyes to catch Nat winking at you, a slight blush on her cheeks as she was pulled out of the room. “So I’m your girlfriend now?” you heard before they disappeared down the corridor.

You laughed and turned in your stool. Thor, Scott and Loki stood staring. Thor at the ends of his braids, Scott at his fingernails, Loki at you. Eyes intense and dark. You swallowed.

“Y/N, a word, if you please,” Loki said, before wrapping his fingers around your wrist and marching out of the room, with you trying to keep up with his long strides, your coat and shoulder bag in your other hand. 

He didn’t say a single word until you reached his room - it was closest - and the door shut behind you, locking the outside world out. He pushed you against the door, arm placed against the wood above your head, body leaning into yours, not quite touching.

“That was… a rather interesting display,” he remarked quietly, his breath puffing against your face as he spoke. “In future, I would prefer if your keening was reserved for me.”

Your hands found the buttons of his shirt. “That sounds like an exclusive right to me.”

“It most certainly is.” His lips hovered over yours.

Your index finger slipped in the space between two buttons. “A right that needs to be earned,” you whispered, your finger grazing his skin.

His breath hitched ever so slightly. “Do not challenge me, darling,” he leaned in, his body moving against yours teasingly. “It might be,” his mouth brushed against your earlobe, “too taxing for you.”

You scoffed, but his lips silenced you. His stance shifted as he picked you up and placed you on the nearest surface - a sideboard - and stepped between your legs. He broke the kiss, to cup your face. For a long moment he just gazed at you. The heat in his eyes seemed to intensify, turning you into a needy mess. He made a show of taking off your glasses, folding the temples and carefully putting them on the side board next to you. Your core clenched.

He held out his hand for you to hop off the furniture. You took it and he took to your lips.

It was quite possible that several things fell off on your way to Loki’s bedroom. When you pushed him into the wall to open the damned buttons of his shirt, a picture might have fallen. A vase, perhaps, when he picked you up and spun you around so your back was against the doorframe next to the fragile ornament. Your head hit the heavy frame of a painting, rendering it lopsided, when Loki feasted on your throat, and you tilted your head back to allow him better access.

Kissing, licking, nipping, sucking - he was intent on leaving marks. Your fingers somehow were in his hair, keeping his head in place. Soft, his hair was so soft. A sharp contrast to the teeth you felt pulling on your skin. His ministrations drew a long moan from you.

Loki smiled against your skin. “Yes, my siren, sing.”

Your back hit the mattress and he crawled over you. His hair a curtain, screening you off from the rest of the world in your own sacred space. His shirt hung open, your hands reached out, tracing each line, each dip. His tongue against yours mimicked the motion of his hips that rolled into you. Your legs wrapped around his waist, meeting each movement, as if you had practised this dance many times before. He pulled away to tug off your pullover. His fingers pushed up your bra and then he sucked your nipple into his hot mouth, making you arch your back.

“Loki, please.”

You didn’t really know what you begged for. More, probably. More of this, more of him.

He pulled you up so you both were kneeling on the bed. Shaking hands fumbled with clothes and fastenings and then you were both naked. Your breath hitched at his beauty.

“Can I…,” you started, voice sounding hoarse. You looked up at him. “Please let me worship you.”

Something flickered across his face - surprise? He gave a curt nod and then watched every single one of your movements.

You took his right hand, tracing each finger with yours, the veins on the back of his hands. You brought his hand up to your face, cradling it to your cheek, before kissing the palm of his hand. One finger at a time, you sucked it into your mouth, to the knuckle, your tongue swirling around the digit, before releasing it and pressing a kiss to the tip, before moving on to the next.

Your hands traced the skin of the inside of his arm, his veins, the rise and fall of his muscles, and up over his shoulder, across his chest to his left arm, which you gave the same treatment. Each birthmark, each scar was kissed. Your hands skimmed over his chest, your lips followed the path. Loki’s breath stuttered when you sucked on his left nipple, before you released it, softly blowing on it. It puckered. You bestowed the same treatment upon the other nipple.

“Please, lie down,” you whispered and he complied.

You lay next to him, kissing his forehead, your fingers running through his hair along his scalp, gently tugging. Onwards, to kiss the curve of each eyebrow, the bridge of his nose, his cheekbones, his chin, along his jawline to his ear. You felt his body shiver when you breathed: “You are so beautiful, inside and out.”

Then your teeth closed around his earlobe, gently pulling. A deep moan sounded through the room. Up until now he had let you do whatever you wanted to and not touched you. But his restraint waned and his hands splayed on your back, pulling you flush against his body. You kept going, your lips now worshipping his delectable throat. He tilted his head back to give you better access.

“Herregud,” he rasped as you kissed, licked and sucked on his sensitive skin. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed hard, his hands growing slack on your back.

You kissed the dip between his collar bones and worked your way down his torso, lips kissing, hands caressing. Further and further you went, along his abs, dipping in his belly button, following the trail of hair below. You leaned back a bit, to look at him. He was fully erect, heavy, swaying slightly. The purple mushroom head gleaming with pearls of pre-cum, thick veins running down the shaft to his pubic hair.

You licked your lips, curling one of your hands around his base, the other cupping his testacles. Then you looked up at him. He was up on his elbows, staring down at you hotly, biting his lips as he watched you in anticipation. You made sure to have and maintain eye contact and then you took him into your mouth.

He hissed, his head falling back, a loud moan following when you hollowed your cheeks to apply suction, the salty taste of his precum on your tongue.

You moved your hand up his length, still sucking, giving his testicles a gentle yet confident squeeze. Up your mouth went, your tongue circling his slit, before sucking him back in. The third time you did it, his hands clasped your shoulders.

“Stop.”

You looked up at him. Loki was breathing hard and you let his cock slide from your mouth with a wet ‘plop’.

In an instant your back was on the mattress and he hovered over you.

“Please don’t misunderstand,” he explained, voice rough, “I loved it, but I have plans.”

He settled between your legs, eyes locked on yours, hand on your thigh, pulling your leg around his waist. His hand slid up, splaying over the fullness of your ass, before giving it a firm squeeze, then sliding over the globe and dipping between your legs. When his slender digits made contact with your aching centre, you cried out. Your whole body was throbbing with need.

“All this nectar is for me?” he rasped. 

You nodded.

“Oh, I have to see this.” And in one fluid motion he sat back on his heels, spreading your legs with his hands, looking at your dripping wet centre in amazement.

“Wait a moment,” he said, before he scrambled off the bed and disappeared in the corridor, only to come back a few moments later to resume his place between your legs. He handed you something with a smirk. Your glasses.

“I want you to see me.”

You put them on, your heartbeat accelerating. You bit your lip in anticipation. He looked up at you, his hot breath puffing against your wet core and then his flat tongue licked you all the way from your entrance to your clit. Your fingers fisted in the bedsheets, eyes falling shut in ecstasy, mouth open in a silent cry.

“Look at me.”

You did. He started a rhythm of licking, sucking and lapping that had the coil inside you wind up and tighten impossibly in no time at all. You fell back onto a pillow. Then he slid two fingers inside you and your hands dove into his hair, tugging, scraping.

What a visual. Loki between your legs, eyes burning into yours, humming and moaning against your clit, fingers sliding in and out of you, curling just at the right time, at the exact angle you needed. It was as if you were a book he’d read a thousand times before. Your toes curled and then you fell into the abyss. You moaned out his name over and over as the orgasm washed over you, leaving your legs shaking.

Loki moved up your body, placing kisses on your thighs, your tummy, your breasts, before he brushed some hair out of your face. You took your glasses off, he placed them on the bedside table. His eyes searched yours.

“I need you, Loki,” you managed, pulling him down.

He kissed you deeply, slowly, the taste of you on his tongue. His hips rocked forward and he slid inside you all the way to the hilt. Loki stilled and broke the kiss, resting his damp forehead against yours.

“Are you okay?” he whispered.

Your fingers caressed his back. Unable to form words, you nodded. Then he moved. His hips rocked into yours in slow, deep thrusts. He filled you so well, stimulating places inside you you didn’t know existed. Your hands ran over his back, down his sides, making him shiver. He watched you, eyes dark but warm. One hand found your swollen clit and his fingers circled and rubbed, applying the pressure you needed to fall into oblivion again. Your feet pressed into his ass cheeks to bring him closer, deeper and his name fell from your lips over and over.

He rocked inside you as you rode out your orgasm. You opened your eyes to look at him in wonder. Never had you seen anything as beautiful as Loki. He seemed to glow from the inside. Maybe it was your imagination. You lifted your head, cupping his face to pull him in for a kiss. His tongue moved languidly against yours, savouring the intimacy.

Then he started moving faster, pulling one of your legs up to rest the calf against his shoulder. Deeper, you wanted him deeper. You couldn’t get close enough. His mouth was devouring yours in a needy kiss, all tongues and teeth now as he pistoned faster into you, your hips meeting each of his thrusts. His lips found your nipple, sucking, pulling on it, moving to its sibling. You couldn’t believe you were on the verge again already. Never before had you been able to orgasm more than once during intercourse.

The room was quiet but for the moans, the heavy breathing. You were so wet that your coupling’s noise was wonderfully dirty, edging you both on even more.

“Look at us,” Loki commanded and you did.

Nothing had ever been so erotic as watching him fill you, stretch you, sliding out, covered in your juices. His fingers were on your clit again, rubbing, circling.

“I don’t know if I can…”

“One more, darling, give me one more,” he insisted, breathlessly.

His hips moved faster, as did his fingers and you were there, on the edge. Loki’s eyes met yours and he knew. His movements stuttered, pupils fully blown, jaw slack, a drop of sweat sliding down his temple.

“Cum with me,” you whispered, your fingers dragging down his back, possibly breaking skin, squeezing and pulling his ass into you.

And he did, propelling you into bliss with him. Your name fell from his lips in a string of Norse profanities. His cock pulsated as the hot ropes of his seed marked your insides as his, your pussy eagerly clenching around him, making sure every last drop would be spent inside you. His movements slowed and then he stilled, buried inside you.

Loki’s lips pressed onto yours in a tender kiss. You stayed in the embrace until you both caught your breath. Then he pulled out of you, your mixed juices running out of you. He could have cleaned you up using magic.

But Loki got out of bed, got a wet flannel from the bathroom and gently cleaned you, kissing your tired body, before sliding back into bed. He pulled you into his arms, your hands joined over his heart, legs intertwined and you both lay there, in your bubble of utter and complete happiness under warm covers, watching the snowflakes dance outside the window in the early hours of Christmas Day.

Christmas Day!

“Oh, wait here!”

You scrambled off the bed and ran to the door, forgetting about your nakedness, pulling your shoulder bag from under your coat. You pulled something from it and brought it back to Loki. He was sitting up, forearms resting on his knees, an intrigued look on his face. 

“Merry Christmas,” you said.

He looked at you and then at the present you held out to him. He cocked an eyebrow as he took it and pulled the fabric ribbon off. His hands parted the paper and then he grew completely still.

“Where in the nine realms did you get this?” he asked after a few moments, voice sounding rough.

“A friend of mine got her hands on this a while back. I thought you might like it.”

He stared at the book, transfixed. His slender fingers caressing the embossed letters on the front and then he lifted it to take in the scent of the pages. His eyes closed.

“Do you? Like it, I mean?” You were worried about this book. It had cost an arm and a leg, but you thought it would be worth it.

“Like it?” Loki asked, finally looking at you and pulling you on his lap. “My mother used to read me his poems when I was a child. I rediscovered it later. This is…”

He was searching for words, failed to find them and instead kissed you, hard, hand fisting in your hair. After a long moment, he broke the kiss.

“Thank you, love.”

Your fingers wrapped around his wrist, stroking his pulse point.

“Will you read it to me?” you asked, a bit out of breath.

Nodding, he sat against the headboard, you curled up against him with his arm around you. He made sure you were both tucked under the covers. Then he opened the book and cleared his throat.

“Kormákr Ӧgmundarson ‘Sigurðardrápa ‘Drápa’. This is one of my favourites, he wrote it for the love of his life.”

His fingers wandered up your arm.

“Brunnu beggja kinna

bjǫrt ljós á mik drósar,

oss hlœgir þat eigi,

eldhúss of við felldan.”

His digits absently stroked your ribcage, skirting over the side of your breast. The rhythm and intonation of his deep voice made you clench your thighs.

“Enn til ǫkkla svanna

ítrvaxins gatk líta,

þrǫ́ muna oss of ævi

eldask, hjá þreskeldi.”

He paused, closing the book and brushing his lips against the skin of your neck. Your eyes fluttered shut.

“What-what does he say?” you all but stuttered.

Loki kissed along your collarbone. Humming against your skin.

“The bright lights of both

her cheeks burned onto me

from the fire-hall's felled wood;

no cause of mirth for me in that.”

His hands cupped your breasts as he sucked and teased one of the nipples. Your hands tugged on his hair, desperate for him again already. You felt his need hard and heavy against your thigh.

“By the threshold I gained a glance

at the ankles of this girl

of glorious shape.”

Loki moved to lie between your legs, hands sliding over your breasts, your tummy, your thigh, down to your ankle, lifting it to wrap it around his hips.

“Yet while I live

that longing will never leave me.”

His voice faltered as he rocked his hips forward and your bodies were joined once more.

“That longing will never leave me,” he repeated like a vow, eyes serious and warm.

“Nor me,” you pledged, before you lost yourselves in the physical expression of your feelings once more.

~ fin ~

[fiercynn]

palestinian poets: rasha abdulhadi

rasha abdulhadi is a queer palestinian southerner with long covid who cut their teeth organizing on the southsides of chicago and atlanta. rasha's writing has appeared in speculative city, liminality, strange horizons, shade journal, mizna, room, itap| magazine, beltway poetry, and lambda literary. their work is anthologized in essential voices: a COVID-19 anthology, unfettered hexes, halal if you hear me, stoked words, and luminescent threads: connections to octavia butler. rasha is a member of justice for muslims collective, the radius of arab american writers, and alternate ROOTS. their small book of poetry is WHO IS OWED SPRINGTIME (neon hemlock press). you can find rasha on twitter.

RASHA'S CALL TO ACTION

"rasha abdulhadi is calling on you, dear reader, to join them in refusing and resisting the genocide of the palestinian people. wherever you are, whatever sand you can throw on the gears of genocide, do it now. if it's a handful, throw it. if it's a fingernail full, scrape it out and throw. get in the way however you can. the elimination of the palestinian people is not inevitable. we can refuse with our every breath and action. we must."

IF YOU READ JUST ONE POEM BY RASHA ABDULHADI, MAKE IT THIS ONE

"Casting Runes" was originally published by fiyah literary magazine in the palestine special issue, which was curated, edited, illustrated and comprised entirely of palestinian creators, in december 2021. the collection was edited by guests nadia shammas and summer farah, and featured cover art by leila aboutaleb.

if you have the means, you can purchase the e-book of the fiyah lit palestine special issue for USD $5.99, the proceeds of which go to medical aid for palestinians.

OTHER POEMS ONLINE THAT I LOVE BY RASHA ABDULHADI

Rabbits at lambda literary

Picking up Rocks at split this rock (also read aloud)

Dad's Combs at beltway poetry

Table of Contents for a Manual of Pandemic Response Protocols at poetry.onl (also read aloud)

Safe Harbor in Enemy Homes at get lit anthology

Build the Graves at the deadlands

How to Build a Dad Out of Bricks at electric lit

[sizzal]

Hair dye!!!! Kiri X Reader

!!!!!Not my Art!!!!!! (Not my art) Hope you enjoy it!!!! 😆 🌺🪷🌻 Not a good summary But worth a read!!!!! Hair dying turns into a long night of feelings and love spells enjoy my little angels!!!!

•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º•º

You and Kirishima had been friends since the first week of school at U.A. It is junior year now!  It was innocent at first just being friendly that soon turned to play fighting and that turned into long nights talking about everything under the sun. You had kept everything very much in the friend zone. So it was no surprise that you would ditch the rest of your group almost every Friday night to gossip, dye Kiri’s hair, write, talk, paint, dance, and just keep each other company just the two of you. People shipped you and rumors of you two dating speculated but that was all here say. Girls still asked Kiri but he always politely declined. He only wanted you and he told Bakugou he would wait as long as humanly possible until he could love you “properly”.  He went on some dates but very rarely. But recently something had changed you and he could feel it.  

You had been waiting for Kirishima for the last two hours. He had gone to get string for friendship bracelets and hair dye. You were left all alone on your bed sitting crisscross writing poetry. Yes!; You had resided to “boring” self-discovery. Something Kirishima hates to do.  

“Just be yourself why do you need to figure out who you are when you can Just Be”! He said while he ripped the common book out of your hands. Eager to watch the new movie he has been obsessing over. 

“Well, I happen to like writing poetry. It is the purest form of self-discovery. Just let me finish this last statement and then we can put on the movie”. You said. the sound of soft knocking wakes you up from your trance from when this happened the first year you two hung out. 

“Ok, Ok I am coming,” you said whilst tripping over your own legs and slamming the ground with a bang. You sprung back up and v-lined for the door.

“Hey,” you said with a sigh.

“Hey, did you just fall off your bed” 

“What no… ok yes. Do you have the stuff..?” you said with the smallest form of sarcasm. 

“Yes!!!!” he said while lifting the plastic bag to show you the hair dye and string.

“Thank god you were gone so long I started getting greys,” you said while going back to the place where you had sat before this “major interruption”. 

“Good God! I can see them” he said half joking while laughing. He flopped down on your bed face first with an exasperated sigh. He rolled over to face you, staring blankly at the ceiling. 

“ Umm, can I have the bag now or are you just going to keep me waiting”

“Don’t even start now Miss Impaction, you’ve kept me waiting for three years? Yeah three years now”.  He said while lifting the bag up so you could take it. Then he moved to lay on his stomach. Thinking about how tonight was the night he was either going to confess or accept defeat and lose hope for ever getting as far as the talking stage he had been stuck in the last three years. 

“Ok buddy talk about impation,” you said while you started to rummage. He replied with a sigh. He had bought his signature red dye, the string you asked for, and a myriad of snacks. Ranging from sweet, sour, and savory.  

“Oooo what are you writing?” he said before adding “Dear dairy today I am faced with the inevitable fact that I am so deeply in love with my super hot, sexy friend Eijiro Kirishima. He is the love of my life and I am going to marry him tonight at midnight.” he said mocking you almost perfectly. After he grabbed your book and flipped to the page you had been writing on. You replied with a swift whack of your pillow hitting him square in his face with not a second to spare.  You let go of the pillow and let him digest what just happened.

“HEY!, He said while grabbing you by the waist as you attempted to flee. He wrapped his muscular arms around you and he sat you in his lap facing away from him and tickled you. 

“OH GOD NOOOOO, HAHHAHAHAH,” you said laughing, trying to wriggle your way out of his tight grip.

“Oh, yes honey,” he said as he ruthlessly tickled you. Him having as much fun as you. 

“PLEASE STOP ILL PEE MYSELF IF YOU DON’T, AHHHHhahaha,” You said still kicking and trying to pry yourself from him.

“Should have thought about that before you hit me with that pillow, Angel” he said.

You managed to get away for a brief second before he had you pinned to the bed. Hanging over you, pinning your hands above your hands.  He was so close, you could feel his body heat radiating off of you. You could feel him. You thrashed trying to get free but he wouldn’t budge, all in good spirit of course. 

‘PLEASE I’LL PEE I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL” you said laughing through the tears that were forming from the edges of your eyes. 

“Do it, you won’t” he said calmly as he tickled away. He then let go because he could see it in your face you were about to pee.  He peeled off of you and sat up letting you go free. 

“ Good god Eii, One more second and I would have pissed myself,” you said jumping up and running to the bathroom peeing with the door only partly closed. 

“God” He groaned under his breath, so quiet that not even you could hear it. He was truly whipped. The full view of your body. The way your cleavage pushed up, almost out of your tight sports bra-crop top. Or how your soft-toned stomach looked in those short tight-lose linen shorts. Or how your thighs felt as you pushed against him trying to get free. The way your perfume did things to him. You just did him so dirty. Your demeanor, how you two grew up together. The way your body has changed from fresh out of middle school to this beautiful vessel to hold your engaging personality and loveliness he was sure no one could ever get to except you.  And how smart you were. How you were in love with literature and art. Good god he wanted you; all of you 

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” you asked Eii in a playful tone. 

“Do you? Little miss I am going to hit my best friend in the face with a pillow.” he said mocking you again.

“Well Pretty boy, you mocking me was the whole issue remember?” you said washing your hands under the lukewarm water.

“Mhm,” he replied as he flipped through the pages that you had added to your book. He sat with his head against the headboard of your bed. One leg arched, the other stretched out softly.  you waked over and sat next to him as he scooched over 

“These are actually good, I like the one about rivers and moons and stuff,” he said as he continued to flip through. 

“Yea. Ooo flip back to that page I wanted to show you this.” You said as he flipped back slowly so you could pick it out.

“This one”, you said taking the book and reading: 

“I see you almost everywhere 

In the trees and how they sway softly to the rhythms of our once-shared heart 

I see you in the sunrise 

In the way the colors are painted in the sky, blurring together like notes sitting patiently on a staff; waiting to be played 

I see you in the ocean and how she glistens  in the light of the hour in the heat of the day, the time we were most intimate 

I see you in the moon 

How she sits patiently waiting for her star that will never fall back for her; the star that keeps her bright and beautiful. In a time where we would never know who we are. 

I see you in the rain

In the way the sky cries, melodically sharing her song of anguish and hate for those who prefer her kinder weather 

I see you in almost everything 

and almost everything sees me”. 

You finished, Kirishima’s eyes were locked on you and only you. He never looked away not even for a second. 

“Is that about your Ex?”

“..yea, felt it was time to let him go considering he left me.” You said as you jumped up to grab the hair dye.

“ Is it that time already,” he said burying his face into your bedspread groaning like a kid.

“Uhhh yes, your roots are horrific,” you said pulling him into the bathroom.

“I like the new art you put in your “common book,” he said the name of your book very sarcastically. 

“Yea it‘s a good advancement from heartbreak,” you said while holding your hands over your heart like you had been shot sarcastically referring to your last breakup。

He just rolled his eyes as he wrapped his arms around your waist looking at you two in the mirror of the bathroom. 

“Mmmmm, we would be so perfect together,” he said groaning. He buried his face in your neck. 

“Ok, let me het the stuff for your hair,” you said paying no attention to his last comment. He would say these suggestive things when he had a bad day. Today was one of those days.  You grabbed a tote with solan grade bleach for his hair, a mixing cup, a brush for the dye so everything is even, an old towel, gloved, and tinfoil. He picked you up and sat you facing him carefully on the sink as you started to mix the bleach for his roots. He leaned in right between your legs closing any larger gaps between you two. 

“Ok, so do you want to do your whole head or just the roots,” you said as you combed through his head.

“Do we have to do it tonight, I could just rock black and red hair. The roots don’t look that bad,” he said as he looked in the mirror and picked through his hair himself. 

“Girl, you’re not serious, right?

“Dead ass” 

“you say that now but tomorrow morning you will be rushing to get them covered up,” he said 

“I guess, Just do whatever,” he said with a sigh.

“Look,” You said while grabbing and smooching his face in between your hands so he could look at you. “If you are going to be in a bad mood just leave. I don’t need Mr Moody. Like I am helping you, so be nice to me” you said as looked him deep in his eyes.

“Mmmm,…….. ok I’ll try, but just for good messers can you kiss me better” he said pursing his lips and trying to kiss you.

“Eww, Eii nooo”, you laughed- shrieked as you pushed his face away.

“Just one,” he said chasing your face

“HAHAHA, Nooo,” you said dogging all his attempts. 

“Just one!” 

“Fine, hold still” You said as you held his face gently his your hands and placed a kiss on his forehead. 

“Not what I was expecting but I’ll let it slide,” he said as he mentally kicked himself for not just kissing you.

“Hey, it’s not my fault expectation is the thief of joy,” you said as you kissed him again “Just for good luck,” you said as his face washed with surprise. You looked through his hair and realized the color was fading.

“Feel better”

“Yes princess,” he said as he let you look through his hair once more.

“The whole head I assume,” he said after a pause of silence. 

“I think so, I mean unless you want to look like Mina with faded pink hair this Halloween, oo that reminds me I have to do her hair before we go to the party next weekend,” you said and you started mixing the bleach for his whole head.

“Alrighty but let’s watch a movie,”  he said as he left for his computer. 

“Put on saw.” You shout from the bathroom. 

“Which one?” he shouted back 

“The first one, I haven’t seen ‘em yet,” you said while following him out to the bedroom as you set the towel on the bed so you didnt drip any bleach or color on the white comforter. You washed his hair before this all started. 

“Take your shirt off,” you said while sitting behind him and rubbing his back

“I beg your pardon“ he shot “I would never taint a fair woman unspoken for， without a chaperone” 

You laughed at his joke referring to Brigdgerten and how absurd their world is 

“Shut up, haha,” you said hitting him on the shoulder playfully

“watch it girl pop,” he said jokingly as he pulled the shirt off his back and chucked it in the laundry hamper across the room.

His back was so muscular, it was alluring, to say the least. You touch his back. The warmth sends a slight shiver down your spine.

You started parting, bleaching, separating, layering, and wrapping in tinfoil. This process started at 7 pm and ended at 8 pm. By the time you were finished, he only had about 5 minutes with the bleach left in his hair. You ate snakes and squirmed under the grotesque movie you two were watching. Laughing and talking just about life. Just going back to friends and out of this weird mood he was in. 

“All right done with part 1, five minutes left till we wash ok?” you asked making sure he knew. The timer went off and you paused the movie it was almost finished with the first Saw. You both walked to the shower, unhooked the sprayer, and had him bend over the lip of the tub as you washed the bleach out as you would have in a real salon. 

“Omg!!!! You look so good, almost like Bakugou” you teased 

“Oh My FUCKING GOD!!!! I do” He said as he looked into the mirror. He had never looked at his hair blonde, it was a “cardinal sin” as Kiri put it. But You were pretty sure that he just didnt want to fall in love with the blonde. 

“Ok let me put the red in,” you said as you mixed the red into a clean mixing bowl. 

“Omg I kinda love this new look, but it would be pretty unmanily to take Bakubros look.” He said, he finally seemed back to normal.

“Yeah, don’t get any idea Ei,” you said while pointing to the bed to continue his hair routine. 

You started to put the red in wrapping it in foil and moving to the next one. You maneuvered around him to get every piece. Finally moving to the last part, the roots. 

“Wait! Before you do the roots, do you still have any bleach left?” He asked turning to you.

“yea, why?” you said skeptically afraid of what he was going to do. 

“just come” here he said as he raced to the bathroom. You followed him reluctantly. He sat you on the sink once more and took the bleach in his hand. Mixing what was left in the bowl.

“Do you trust me” 

“Oh god, what are you going to do” you asked as scared as hell.

“Just do you trust me”

“no…yes..no…why” you whined 

“Just trust me angel…mmmk,” he said as he winked and smirked with this wicked smile. It was cute tho, He was cute. 

“Ok… don’t let me regret this”, you said as you let him put bleach in your hair. He pulled your hair out from your half up half down style and brushed it, washed it then put the bleach on your money pieces. Your hair was a little longer than your chin, with a bit of a bob-not-bob going on with very nice layers and longer curtain bangs. You put your hands over your face and squealed. Afraid of the outcome.

“Ok we are done,” he said with an excited sigh. You turned to see your bangs covered in tinfoil. 

“Oh lord!!!!! If this is bad, I’ll shave your head” you said as you pushed him away gently as you hopped off the counter. He sat back down and you started to do his roots. You finished the back and sides all that was left was the front. You started dying the roots. Not even 5 minutes before:

“Ok stop, we need to talk,” He said as took your hand leading you to sit on the bed. 

“yea???? is something wrong?” You asked genuinely confused about what he was about to say.

“I can’t do this anymore, the hiding, lying and faking. Just come clean or I will” he said giving you a chance to confess first. You stared at him confused and blankly looking for a reaction you could cling to to make this make sense. You had no idea what he was talking about.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” You said genuinely. 

“Bullshit,” He said as he looked you so deep in the eyes. A look only described by infatuation. Your heart started to pound like a beating drum. We he about to say what you thought he was?

“Ok since you won’t say it I will, I have liked you since the first week I met you. You are interesting, compelling, smart, and beautiful. I have loved growing up with you these past years, I love that you are constantly changing with and away from the times. I love your personality and genuine caring personality. I love that you are passionate about everything, art writing, and everything in between. I have seen you grow out of phases and relationships just as you have seen me do the same. It has been an honor spending time with you as close as we have gotten.” he sighed and your heart just kept pounding not a single thought could be seen in your brain. You felt bad bc he was pouring out his heart and all you could think about was how y’all’s hair was so cooked. He started again:

 “I told myself that when you got out of your most recent relationship if you did, considering how much you loved your Ex. That if you broke up I would make a move. It sounds creepy and weird and I don’t want to lose you because of this but I am prepared to.  I didn’t think your relationship would last as long as it did, I thought you found the one, but then it crashed and burned. Y/n L/n I love you, I have for the longest time. I have never loved anyone like I love. Bakugou was telling me I should make a move and Blah blah blah but I was scared. So tell me you feel the same.” he said as he put his face in his hands, hiding his burning blush. 

“Eii…” you started sweetly before he stopped you

“Just let me down easy pls,” he said. You took his face in your hands and leaned in and kissed him long and passionate, just how you always wanted your first kiss to be. His face lit up as he threw his arms around you pulling himself into your embrace. Giving you the biggest hug and feathering kisses around your face fast and rough. 

“Wait you not kidding right?” He asked stopping mid-face kiss. 

“Fuck no’ you said as he started to yell with joy. 

“Omg she loves me too…. She…she….love..es me” He said jumping up and singing, spinning and pacing before crying in disbelief. 

“Kiri…. oh you poor baby come here pretty boy,” you said while standing up and cradling his face in your neck as he sobbed out of happiness.  

“Oh shit my hair!!!!” you said leaving him to reflect and take in this newfound reality.

You washed out the bleach. He let you surprise him with your new hairstyle it’s your turn to surprise him. You took some of the grade-A red hair dye and put in on the money pieces wrapped it in tinfoil to sit and went you to finish his hair. You finished it, set a timer, and sat in front of Ei.

“Kiss me again?” he said 

“Of course pretty boy,” you said as you placed a soft kiss on his lips before deepening the slow passionate kiss. The warmth and rhythmic melodies escaping from both of your mouths just filling the room with an intense heat. His hand was intertwined in your hair and he deepened the kiss even further. Your hand around his neck and cheek needing him, needing this. His tongue reached for your lips as if to ask for permission to enter your mouth. You both meeting in the middle. The taste of Kirishima was intoxicating. The way he slides his tongue on the tip of your teeth and how his tongue wastes not a second to explore every part of your mouth, you follow his lead. As this kiss expands. His pace speeds up at a rapid pace. He was never a patient person so you understood this need for you, this lust. The lude noses dripping from both your lips. His hand pulled at your soft short hair causing you to moan. You really did something to him and it showed in the way his pants had a tent in them from the way he was bricked. Only leads you to feel the heat in your core growing rapidly. 

You ran your tongue over his sharp teeth before he groaned in this newfound pleasure. His tooth accidentally went straight into your lip causing blood to spill over the kiss.  His shirtless body looks so fine in the low lighting. His define mucless and yummy-looking abs. 

“MMMMM,” You whined as you pulled away, 

“Trying to kill me I see,” you said as a long string of saliva parted both ways. You both laughed at the lude sight. You brought your hand up to his lip and wiped away the saliva and he did the same ,smearing it all over instead. 

“Eww, EI!!!!” You laughed. He just smiled。

“Sorry, I didn’t even process the fact I cut you, am so sorry, let’s clean you up,” he said while grabbing you bridal style and setting you down on the sink. You got all patched up just the timer went off. 

“Hey, I gotta wash your hair,” you said as you hopped down once more and showered him off. You washed his hair making sure to thoroughly scrub his hair and massage his head. When you finish it’s your turn.

“Hey go get ready for bed I am going to wash my hair out,” you told him while placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Wait how long has that bleach been in your hair?” he asked confused and worried.

“Don’t worry I have a surprise for you” you said as you smirked and giggled.

“oh lord,” he said convinced you were about to lose a third of your hair. You washed out your hair and blow-dried and styled it just to make sure it had the best first impression. 

“ok I am coming out” 

“ook you long enough,” he said as his jaw dropped. He was speechless, the bright red in your dark hair. 

“Now everyone will know I belong to you,” You said giggling as you ran to his arms and cuddled up on your bed. 

“God damn it I love you even more now,” He said kissing and running his hands in your hair.  you before you said 

“I love you too my pretty boy” You cuddled him to sleep. Tomorrow will be a crazy day for your class. a Saturday get-together at the skate park. This would be fun.  (Your class was geeked to see yu two toegether Mina made you tell her the whole story start to finish!!!)

Thank you guys, so this is long and took a while. Sorry for spell check mistakes I am illiterate!!!  NOT PROOF READ!!!! Tell me what you think about this!!!!

Love you!!!!!!!!!♥️😆

[antigonick]

just stumbled into one of your snippets and i'm OBSESSED with your writing style. it is so fluid and punchy and such a delight to read. if you ever feel like answering, how does your writing process works? what are your inspirations, style and tone-wise? and what themes do you enjoy exploring the most?

have a lovely day! 💌

Oh, that's... WELL. That's! The best compliment you could have sent me, thank you so much, I don't know what to say.. I'm actually trying to write a... I'm gonna call it a novel when it's just a mess of fragments right now, but—yeah. Fluid and punchy is exactly what I strive to achieve with the character's voice so this is so nice to hear. WHATEVER. THANK YOU.

Anyway! My writing process is really... steeped in rhythm, I guess? It starts with character writing, which leads me to character voice, which leads me to finding the right "mind" tempo, and from it cascades the headspace I need to write. In that, in the idea of perspective and voice influencing the story first, I'm indebted to Faulkner, to Marlon James, to Woolf's The Waves, to Shirley Jackson—to the perspectivism twists of horror and gothic writing as a general rule. Rereading her, I think Emily Brontë has shaped my metaphorical network very early on, and my handling of violence, especially in dialogue—though more recently, Tamsyn Muir made me tick about dialogue too. Malin Rydén is one of my utmost inspirations, not a little because the main character of my story was first created for his story, but also because he was my gateway into harder, grittier speculative fiction and digital literature, which both inspire me now for the story I'm trying to shape—horror out of the gothic castle and into the terrible anticipation of what comes next, with more politics, with ghosts and body horror twisted to technology. In terms of pure form, I'm extremely impacted by poetry—E. E. Cummings, Alice Oswald, Emily Dickinson—those who deconstruct syntax to wrangle it into breath. He didn't influence me because I discovered him too late, but I feel a kinship to some of the early stylistic experimentations of Frank Bidart too. Hanif Abdurraqib, whose first name I gave to one of my main characters too because his voice is incredible: it moves. Charles Olson's Projective Verse gestures at what I feel when I write, you know? "ONE PERCEPTION MUST IMMEDIATELY AND DIRECTLY LEAD TO A FURTHER PERCEPTION (…). Always one perception must must must MOVE, INSTANTER, ON ANOTHER! (…)" and then "Breath allows all the speech-force of language back in." Even silence can be your story-weapon.

I'm interested in... blowing apart labels, dichotomies, I think, making them harder to grapple with—right and wrong, love and hate, personal and universal; transgressions, fluidity; how language fails, how language betrays; the way human connection can both fuck you and raise you up, in its constant failure and constant trying, in the violence of intimacy, in the tension between hardness and vulnerability—more than anything, I'm interested in the way individual desires clash with collective needs or personal ideals, in the lies and justifications you can find for yourself, in what it means for you when you come to dismantle them (or refuse to). I love palimpsest, stories retold again and again, and/or I love difficult, ugly settings, speculative and dystopia topics, I want the story to be political in itself, even when it's not politicking; and I LOVE mindfucks: using our terribly faulty, terribly subjective perception / perspective / memory / dreams / FEARS / intellect to tell a story that is both fascinating because it's unique, and trapped by it. Can't escape yourself. What are you gonna do with yourself (against yourself, for yourself) now?

Formally, I try to use that in writing: trapping the reader in one voice that swallows them really, ideally that jostles them a little, that blurs the boundary between them and the character: extreme immersion. I like to try and convey emotion / impression and even action as it is experienced, rather than explaining it clearly. In that phenomenology has influenced me, I guess? Deleuze, Guattari, Merleau-Ponty, and poetry again, I guess. Archibald McLeish says "a poem should not mean / but be...", and that's what I try to do with the character I choose, and then I let them be, and they drive both the story and the writing that should echo it—form and content cycling each other like mirrors.

Goddamnit, that got so long. Anyway. THANK YOU for being interested, I'm really touched.

[gcthvile]

Jasper Warrington - A Bridgerton OC

Face claim: Tom Sturridge

Name: Viscount Jasper Warrington

Age: 28

Sexuality: Bisexual

Appearance: Jasper carries a quiet intensity about him, with dark, soulful eyes and sharp features that exude mystery. His dark, tousled hair gives him a slightly unpolished edge, contrasting with the expected polished look of the ton. Despite this, he always dresses impeccably, preferring understated but expensive attire—tailored suits in dark tones, with minimal embellishment. His expression often seems contemplative, as though his mind is elsewhere, giving him an air of aloofness that intrigues those around him.

Personality: Jasper is reserved and calculating, a man of few words, but when he speaks, it’s with purpose and intellect. He’s known for his sharp wit and dry humor, often surprising others with his cutting remarks. Beneath his composed exterior, there’s a certain intensity—an inner turmoil that he hides from the world. He’s loyal to his family but has a complicated relationship with his title, seeing the viscountcy more as a burden than a privilege.

He is a protector, both of his family and estate, and though he may appear aloof, he cares deeply for those in his circle. His sense of duty drives him, but there’s always a lingering sense that he’s searching for something more, something deeper in life. This makes him less interested in the social niceties of the ton, though he fulfills his duties with grace when required.

Backstory:

Jasper inherited the title of viscount at a young age after his father’s sudden death. This forced him into a role he wasn’t fully prepared for, leaving him with a heavy sense of responsibility. He’s spent years managing his family’s estate, Warrington Hall, and ensuring that his siblings are well cared for. His mother, Lady Warrington, is a social butterfly who insists on maintaining the family's status, pushing Jasper into the spotlight even when he would rather be left alone.

In the years since, he’s become somewhat of an enigma in high society. He’s been courted by many, but remains unattached, gaining a reputation as a distant, unattainable bachelor. There’s speculation about his past—some say he had his heart broken once, others that he’s simply too consumed by his duties. In truth, he feels out of place in the glittering world of balls and gossip, more at home in his estate’s library or overseeing his lands.

Quirks:

Jasper is an avid reader, particularly of philosophy and poetry, which fuels his introspective nature.

He has a habit of disappearing for long walks on his estate, where he finds peace in solitude.

Despite his detached demeanor, Jasper is a skilled dancer, though he rarely partakes unless forced.

Fun Facts about Jasper:

1. Secret Poet: Jasper has a hidden talent for poetry, often writing verses in the quiet of his library. He enjoys capturing his thoughts and emotions in words, although he keeps this hobby private, fearing it would be seen as too vulnerable for a viscount.

2. Expert Horseman: He is an exceptional rider and spends much of his free time horseback riding across the estate. This is one of the few activities that brings him genuine joy and allows him to escape the pressures of his title.

3. Passionate Gardener: Jasper has a fascination with horticulture and tends to a secret garden on the estate where he cultivates rare flowers and herbs. This pastime provides him with a sense of peace and fulfillment away from social obligations.

4. Collector of Curiosities: He has a growing collection of curiosities, such as rare books, maps, and trinkets from his travels. Each item has a story that he enjoys sharing with those he trusts, though most of society remains unaware of this side of him.

5. Master of Disguise: Jasper has a penchant for disguising himself to sneak out of the estate and explore the nearby village. He relishes the freedom of being just another man instead of a viscount, enjoying the thrill of anonymity.

6. History Buff: He has a deep interest in history, particularly the histories of noble families in England. This knowledge often comes in handy during social gatherings, where he can discuss lineage and heritage with ease.

7. Chess Enthusiast: He is an avid chess player, often playing matches against himself to hone his strategic thinking. He finds the game to be a great mental exercise and enjoys the challenge of outsmarting an opponent.

8.. Lover of Music: Jasper secretly enjoys playing the piano and often composes melodies inspired by his poetry. While he doesn’t perform in public, he finds solace in music and often plays during quiet evenings at home.

9. Animal Lover: He has a soft spot for animals, particularly dogs. Jasper has a loyal hound that accompanies him on walks and serves as a comforting presence during lonely times.

Likes and Dislikes:

Likes:

1. Nature: Jasper enjoys spending time outdoors, whether it's riding his horse through the estate or tending to his secret garden. Nature provides him with a sense of peace and a break from societal pressures.

2. Literature: He has a passion for reading, especially classic literature and poetry. He often loses himself in books, finding inspiration and solace in the written word.

3. Quiet Evenings: Jasper prefers quiet evenings at home, where he can indulge in his hobbies, such as writing poetry or playing the piano. These moments allow him to recharge away from the bustling social scene.

4. Intellectual Conversations: He enjoys engaging in deep discussions about philosophy, history, and art. Jasper appreciates people who challenge his thoughts and offer different perspectives.

5. Animals: Jasper loves animals, particularly dogs. He finds comfort in their companionship and enjoys taking long walks with his hound.

6. Art: He appreciates art, especially landscapes and portraits that capture emotion. Jasper often visits galleries and enjoys learning about different artists and their works.

7. Travel: He has a desire to explore new places and experience different cultures, though his responsibilities often keep him at home. He dreams of traveling to Italy and France to see the art and history he admires.

Dislikes:

1. Superficiality: Jasper has little patience for shallow conversations and those who prioritize status over substance. He prefers genuine connections and dislikes the pretentiousness often found in high society.

2. Social Expectations: He resents the pressure to conform to societal norms and expectations, particularly when it comes to marriage and networking. This pressure makes him feel trapped.

3. Conflict: Jasper dislikes confrontations and avoids them whenever possible. He prefers to resolve issues through calm discussion rather than heated arguments.

4. Overindulgence: He has little tolerance for excessive behavior, whether it's lavish parties or ostentatious displays of wealth. Jasper values moderation and simplicity.

5. Manipulation: Jasper dislikes those who manipulate others for personal gain, whether in business or relationships. He believes in honesty and integrity, which makes him wary of deceitful individuals.

6. Disrespect: He cannot stand rudeness or disrespect towards others, especially those in lower social standings. Jasper values kindness and fairness in all interactions.

7. Being the Center of Attention: Despite his title, Jasper prefers to stay out of the spotlight. He finds large gatherings overwhelming and would rather blend in than be the focal point.

8. Neglecting Responsibilities: He is frustrated by those who fail to take their duties seriously, whether in family, society, or work. Jasper believes in accountability and often feels burdened by his own responsibilities.

Family

Lady Warrington (Mother):

Name: Lady Helena Warrington

Personality: Lady Helena is the epitome of grace, poise, and determination. She thrives in high society and is known for her sharp mind and exceptional skill at maneuvering through the complex social circles of the ton. After the death of her husband, she took it upon herself to uphold the family’s reputation and push her children toward advantageous matches.

Relationship with Jasper: While Lady Warrington loves her son deeply, there is a certain distance between them. She has high expectations for Jasper, believing that his role as viscount comes with obligations—both to the family and to society. She wants him to marry well and is constantly urging him to take a more active role in the social scene. Jasper, in turn, respects his mother, but their relationship is strained by their differing views on duty and personal happiness. Lady Helena often wishes he would embrace his position more enthusiastically and find joy in the social graces that she values so much.

Deceased Father (Former Viscount):

Name: Viscount Thomas Warrington

Personality and Legacy: Thomas was a man of honor and duty, widely respected for his leadership and the way he managed the family estate. He was strict but fair, and his sudden death left a heavy weight on Jasper’s shoulders, as Jasper was thrust into the role of viscount without much preparation. Though he was not emotionally close to his children, his presence was commanding, and Jasper has always felt the pressure of living up to his father’s legacy.

Impact on Jasper: The death of his father is one of the main reasons for Jasper’s aloofness and serious nature. He was forced to grow up quickly and take on responsibilities before he was ready, leading to his more somber outlook on life. Jasper often feels like he’s living in his father’s shadow, constantly measuring himself against the man who left such big shoes to fill.

Siblings:

1. Isabel Warrington (Younger Sister):

Age: 22

Personality: Isabel is the opposite of Jasper—bright, lively, and eager to enjoy everything society has to offer. She’s charming and outgoing, a favorite at balls and social events. Despite her lighthearted demeanor, Isabel is intelligent and capable of holding her own in the intricate social games of the ton. She has a strong relationship with their mother and enjoys being involved in the family’s social ambitions.

Relationship with Jasper: Isabel and Jasper have a close, though sometimes tense, sibling relationship. She often feels smothered by his protectiveness and sense of duty, and while she loves him, she doesn’t fully understand his reluctance to embrace the life they’ve been given. Jasper, on the other hand, feels it’s his responsibility to keep her from making impulsive decisions, leading to occasional clashes between the two. Despite their differences, Jasper admires Isabel’s courage and independence, even if he doesn’t always show it.

2. Edward Warrington (Younger Brother):

Age: 19

Personality: Edward is still coming into his own, balancing the expectations of his title with the desire to live a more carefree life. He’s more easygoing than Jasper and prefers not to take life too seriously. Edward is charming, quick-witted, and occasionally reckless, often getting into trouble or shirking his responsibilities. He has a mischievous streak, which can cause tension with Jasper, who views him as too cavalier.

Relationship with Jasper: Jasper often feels like he’s acting as both a brother and father figure to Edward, which creates tension. Jasper’s strictness and high expectations frustrate Edward, who wants to carve his own path and resist the pressure of becoming a "perfect" gentleman. However, Edward deeply respects his brother’s intelligence and strength, even if he’s too stubborn to admit it. Jasper, meanwhile, is protective of Edward but struggles to show affection, often masking his concern with stern lectures.

Family Estate (Warrington Hall):

The family’s ancestral home, Warrington Hall, is a sprawling estate with vast lands, gardens, and stables. It’s where Jasper feels most at peace, away from the pressures of society. He has a deep connection to the land and the people who work it, often spending time overseeing the estate’s operations personally. To him, the estate represents the heart of his family’s legacy and his duty as viscount. For Lady Warrington and Isabel, it’s a symbol of their status, while Edward sees it as more of a burden, wanting to escape the weight of such responsibility.

Family Dynamics:

The Warringtons are well-respected and well-established in high society. Known for their generational wealth and prominence, they have no financial struggles, which makes them influential within the ton. Lady Warrington is constantly trying to elevate their status further by encouraging Jasper to make influential connections, especially through marriage.

Their wealth is significant, ensuring they live comfortably without the need for Jasper to worry about the estate’s finances. Instead, Jasper’s concern is more about maintaining their legacy and upholding the family’s reputation.

-------------------------------------------------------

@missstrawbs2001 @jackiequick @blueboirick @aidanxsophxoxo @meiramel @purpleprincessonfyre @ask-missparker @askstevella @therealdaydreamstark @rickb-chaos @luna-d-marsh @gaminggirlsstuff @eddysocs

[icycoldninja]

Do you know Devilman Crybaby? Can you write the DMC men with a fem reader who’s a demon like Sirene in the show

Sirene: https://pin.it/259GZhAwx

Description: Sirene is often described as one of the most beautiful demons, to the point where she has been mistaken for an Angel more than once. Like the harpies of Greek mythology, Sirene looks like a hybrid between a human and a bird: She has the general appearance of a beautiful young naked woman with penetrating blue eyes, light skin, slender physique and voluptuous breasts. Along with these human traits she has a feathered tail, two antennae on her forehead, bird claws as arms and legs and a large pair of white wings sprouting from her head which allow her to fly. Bird-like plumage grows around her face and over her crotch. Depending on the artwork, her plumage excluding her wings are either white or pink.

She used to be a typical demon, hates human with the entirety of her existence but was once touched by a child who nursed her back to health when she was heavily injured. After the child (who’s now a very old lady) passed away, she sort of starting to see humanity in a different view points

“A bunch of bigoted and egotistical creatures…but nevertheless resilient and indomitable. You have my respect, mortal”

P/S: I can imagine Nero handing reader a jacket as her devil trigger form is quite…revealing

Nero: For the love of god…wear the jacket!!

Reader: Nudity is not just an aesthetic, it’s a lifestyle..I think you should embrace it as well. But it seems that to humans, wearing clothes are an essential…Such a shame…to never know what it feels like roaming the streets naked and free

Nero: Babe…WHAT?!!

Never heard of that, but I can write this. Hope I did well 💜

Sparda boys + V x Sirene-like!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante thought you were an angel at first, because of your beauty and your feathers.

-He thought you were hot--really hot--even though you were a demon. It's safe to say the man was enamored by your demonic charms.

-He's glad that you changed your human-hating ways and that you've learned to accept them, since despite his demon side, Dante chooses to identify as one of them.

-The first time he saw your "devil trigger" he nearly had a nosebleed on the spot. Later that night, he insisted you start using it for things other than combat purposes.

-He doesn't want you walking around topless though, sexy as that might be. He insists you wear a bra or some kind of covering, at the very least.

-Collects the feathers that you shed and stuffs them into pillows because they're soft, there's always plenty of them, and it's a great way for his broke ass to save money.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil shares your haughty and condescending outlook on humanity, seeing them as ridiculous buffoons himself.

-Likes to sit on rooftops with you and judge every individual that walks by, commenting on their attire, speculating their lifestyles based solely on their groceries, and so on.

-Thinks your feathers are very pretty and loves to pet them.

-Has a strong dislike for you walking around nude. It angers him to think that his beloved's privates are being exposed to the world. He doesn't care what your philosophy is, put on a damn shirt and a pair of underwear.

-Will definitely force you to wear give you his coat when you're not listening to him, or when you "forget" to put on your clothes, and makes sure to fasten it tightly so peeping Toms can't see anything.

-How you dress at home is an entirely different story. It makes Vergil feel like a king to have his beautiful beloved sitting naked on his lap while he reads (erotic?) poetry.

□ Nero □

-Nero is extremely embarrassed by you and your weird philosophy regarding nudity.

-He doesn't care if you find walking around an "aesthetic", it's disgusting and it's garnering you all lots of looks of mixed intentions.

-He refuses to go anywhere with you unless you wear his jacket. Your bottom is fine since you have lots of feathers that could pass for a bikini bottom, but you will not be walking around with your boobs hanging out.

-Will force his clothes onto you if you don't listen. Confused civilians might find themselves watching as Nero angrily strips himself down to his undergarments and forces them over your head.

-He's not exactly fond of your previous outlook on humanity, given that he is mostly human himself, but since you've changed and you accept them and all their flaws, he's happy.

-He has kept exactly one of your feathers and keeps it in his wallet, because gross as you might be, he still loves you and wants a piece of you to come with him everywhere he goes.

● V ●

-V was enchanted by your beauty, but found himself blushing at your shameless nudity.

-He likes to collect your feathers and puts them in his scrapbook(s), sometimes stringing them up on necklaces or other accessories.

-He will write poems about your "Devil Trigger", writing about how elegant and beautiful you are, even if you are constantly nude.

-He insists you put on some nice, non revealing clothes when you go out, and in return, you can walk around as nude as you'd like at home.

-Can't stop himself from running his fingers through your feathers when you're sitting together.

-Since he's (kinda) human, he worries whether or not you look down on him like you do on everyone else. You don't, do you?

[en-abime-updates]

June 15th

Morning

Mal posts the player-made zine on FreeDF. You can find it by adding the URL slug /dans-des-circonstances-eternelles to en-abime.com. She has decided to visit Tati, although it is unknown where she is right now.

Since the zine mentions a twin by name, they visit it and share a PowerPoint of all the information they had about Thomas (accessible through clicking the glitch on the page.) (It is unknown where the twin is right now.) A letter in a different font (the “T” on “The Incident”) links to w-h-a-t-h-a-p-p-e-n-e-d.

Summary: This PowerPoint includes a photo of Thomas and the details around his disappearance: He was a freshman exchange student at Princeton University in New Jersey whose parents had died 2 years before of the flu. He went missing in October of 1915 – he checked into a carrel in the library and never checked out. (The footnotes note these carrels are now in Firestone Library.) He was “kind of an introvert” but an “excellent student,” so no one noticed he was missing until months later. The Works Cited page of the PPT only lists en-abime.com as well as the page for requesting visitor access to Firestone Library. Players speculate this may be the site of a geocache.

The zine page also links to Mal’s Favorite Gigs in NYC. This page begins as a blank page and populates with pop-ups addressing the reader as you scroll down, before showing a list of Mal’s bands and performance venues – potentially another geocache lead? It also features a voice that speaks in blackout poetry, similar to the blackout poetry sections of the CYOA.

Summary: The pop-ups ask the reader to record information about themselves (to presumably join the abime) – “Log on now!” “Share abundantly your photographs, experiences, and stories with your friends.” It then presents Mal’s list of gigs as “a gift.” The list of gigs lists the band and location of each performance, as well as a short description of Mal’s experience performing with them. Mal’s handwritten note at the top reads “if you haven’t got an I.D., even a fake one, FORGET ABOUT IT, DUDETTE!” Below the gig list, the pop-ups ask the reader to “Match them with the right keys to the kingdom” for an “instantaneous cure,” “but hurry, a machine for living won’t be hanging around for long.” Below this, the blackout poetry voice begins, imploring the reader to “stop feeding us.” Their requests and cries for help are similar in tone to the ones in the CYOA.

Mal’s Favorite Gigs page leads to HELP, what looks like a customer service page with a set of Q&As and a form. The page is written by (and the Q&As are answered) by the same voices from the Mal’s Gigs page (Ad pop-ups and blackout poetry). The header at the top of the page toggles between “archive” and “appetite” on hover, and “appetite” is “all” while “ARCHIVE” is “NOTHING.” The form is “for Urgent Retrieval Concerns” and asks the reader to “DESCRIBE: WHAT YOU SEE. WHERE YOU ARE. WHERE YOU HAVE SOUGHT. WHERE YOU HAVE NOT YET SOUGHT.”

Summary: The two voices describe themselves as brothers, and have very different personalities. The popup voice describes itself as our “friend,” and encourages the questioner to find “these things” and “make them happy.” The question text eventually goes off the rails: (“Why is my skin so heavy? Why are my eyeballs so dry? Why are my bones so wet?”) to which the popup text voice answers, “You aren’t there yet, friend, but you’re doing well!” In contrast, the blackout poetry voice describes itself as our “bastard creation” and says that if we are “here” it has “failed.” It begs us to “please don’t go looking for this [...] please instead forget all about this. About them. About me.” On the left side of the page are a list of what seems to be various manifestations of HEAVEN, a series of tips that seem to be for geocaching, and there is a form at the bottom that asks for location, time, name of who they are looking for, and a description of their location.

Afternoon/Evening

Players submit form responses to HELP, most of which receive unhelpful answers via email. 

Players submitting questions to the form received a response from the email en-abime-dot-com@gmail.com from a username THE ARCHIVE THE APPETITE. Most contained a screenshot of their question and a popup image reading “USE TOOLS FOR THEIR INTENDED PURPOSE.” Some emails contained an additional image reading “HA!HA!HA!” 

At 2:41 PM EST, player sylvan receives a reply to his email “bonjour” with the additional image “I DON’T SPEAK FRENCH” and the subject line “19/20” A minute earlier at 2:40, another player Vincent received a similar email with the subject line “20/20.” Later, Vincent receives another, this time with the subject line “18/20.” Players decide not to send more emails until figuring out more about the “INTENDED PURPOSE” so the countdown stops. 

At around midnight, player charles entertainment cheese sends a question: “We have looked everywhere. We are Thomas stretched across En Abime. I want to know where he entered from - Princeton? New Jersey? The Library? We have looked across as many pages as we have. We have found him in PDFs and websites where his past self is recorded and archived.” This receives a different response, without a countdown number, hinting that these questions are closer to the “INTENDED PURPOSE” and “for greater knowledge on more subjects, use your library often!”

Overall Theories

Players think these pop-ups and blackout text are two new characters, the Archive and the Appetite, which may be made up of the Abime itself. They seem more powerful than the other characters and may have placed the flyers around the different locations. They seem to want us to find whatever information they don’t yet know, and are interested in physical geocaches. 

Next steps from this update:

Follow these geocache leads

Crack w-h-a-t-h-a-p-p-e-n-e-d

Figure out the purpose of the HELP form

[meerawrites]

Introduction to writeblr

Hello I am Meera S (they/them), I am a speculative fiction writer, writer of historical fiction and more, all of it is queer centric and with person of global majority (colour) angle. Please interact with this post and I shall add you back to the best of my ability!

about my writing

I’ve been writing and fan fictioning since I was 10. I started my first novel a little over a year ago, I am editing it in a month. I gravitate towards the gothic and historical but I am not gonna limit myself to that. I also write short stories, fic and poetry. 

1. Vampires, witches, werewolves, ghosts, and more, oh my!: I love me some monsters and allegories that are multilayered, just not zombies. 

2. Fantasy and gothic, I write about the human through the inhuman, Anne Rice once said vampire was the most poignant allegory for outcast and other-ness. 

3. The historical. You have to know the past to understand the present and future. Ancient History through 1920s and all of South Asian history and mythology. 

4. Diversity: I am a queer south asian person but I do earnestly try for informed diverse world views that are nuanced and sympathetic even if not “moral” because vampire, etc. 

about me

read here. 

fandoms: read here. go here for fandom stuff. Here for history. Here for fic. Role-play masterlist. 

Influences: Anne Rice, Oscar Wilde, Octavia Butler, Indu Sundaresan, @writingvampires, @elisaintime, Silvia Moreno Garcia and @saintmachina.

what i'm looking for

1. Friends and cool people.

2. eventual beta readers/editors.

3. Other writers.

4. people who know people etc. 

genres i read

I gravitate towards the gothic and historical, but anything well written and I think worthwhile. 

Just finished: Good Omens, Lasher by Anne Rice, catching up with Dracula daily . also following @re-dracula.

Immediately going to read: Taltos by Anne Rice, The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice, Common Sense by Thomas Paine, and the memoir of Benjamin Tallmadge (the memoir is only 75 pages long so..)

WIPS

Presently unamed, editing in a month: What if Sibyl Vane was too haunt Dorian Gray? Heavily inspired by Wilde’s poetry, Emilie Autumn, steampunk, the allegory of ghosts as the inescapable past popularized by Charles Dickens in A Christmas Carol. As well as the folklore of banshees, avenging angels & La Llorona. More here. Playlist. 

Pending: novella: les liaisons dangereuses x vampires. Playlist.

Pleasure to make your acquaintance!

[pippin-katz]

FirstPrince Author AU

I mulled it over and decided that I could post at least a little bit of what I have from the first draft I did last semester. Let me know what your thoughts are, and if you're interested in reading more!

Untitled WIP

Alex lets out another frustrated sigh as he reads through yet another fan analysis that completely missed the point. With an eyeroll, he stretches his hands and starts typing rapidly. It's moments like these that he despises his favorite author.

H. Fox is the author of several successful fiction novels, and most recently, a fantasy series, the third installment of which was just released earlier that week. Alex is a picky reader, but there's something about Fox's work that draws him in like a moth to a flame. The passages are skillfully and elegantly strung together to create stories that make it nearly impossible for him to put the book down once he starts reading. He has multiple copies of each book, one that he keeps in pristine condition, and the other that he's filled with scribbles, highlights, post-it notes, and other markings denoting moments that stand out to him, sentences that spark a strong feeling in his chest, and subtext of underlying themes and analogies Fox carefully crafts in. Alex would be thrilled to meet the author, for the chance to ask them questions about parallels he's found, and what their inspiration was for their stories and characters.

The problem is that no one knows who they are.

H. Fox is an anonymous writer. They are faceless, an unseen genius that provides nothing but a few facts about themselves in their bio at the end of each book. All Alex and the rest of their readers know is that they love dogs and have a passion for the poetry of Lord Byron. Fox never does press. They never offer pictures or even descriptions of what they look like. It's a point of constant debate and speculation within the community of readers.

What gender do they identify as? Where are they from? How old are they?

All very simple questions with no answers. Some are positive Fox is a man, while most others are adamantly opposed to the idea. The majority of the readers who had been following the author are almost positive they are from a country where English is the primary spoken language, but certain word choices and phrases generate doubt around which. The age range they are believed to fall into is twenties to thirties, but there is no way to know any of these things for certain, since they are essentially a phantom.

And that is part of Alex's problem at the moment.

[ohsalome]

What are some amazing, most read Ukraine authors? The only one I know is Gogol and I would like more on my radar.

First important disclaimer is that without knowing ukrainian, your pool of choice is very limited. Unfortunately, our translators haven't done nearly enough to make ukrainian literature acessable for english speakers, so a lot of genuinely amazing stuff would require you to know the language.

The second important disclaimer is that I am going to recommend you a lot of poetry, and, with no disrespect to the translators, it doesn't hit nearly as hard in english as it is in ukrainian. I've recently heard the phrase "to read poetry in translation is like to take a shower wearing a raincoat", and it is so true. So, apologies for this barrier, but there is nothing one can do.

With that in mind, let's start from classics:

The first most important author is Taras Shevchenko. He mainly wrote poetry, but has some prose works as well, and during his life he was more known as a popular artist. The Bible of his works is Kobzar (a ukrainian word for travelling blind musicians), and the same word is also often used as a nickname for Shevchenko - akin to how Shakespeare can be called the Bard. Among the most important poems pay attention to A Dream (the poem for which he was imprisoned by the russians with an explicit ban on writing and painting), The Caucasus, My Testament, Kateryna, A cherry orchad by the house, О thoughts of mine

The second big name to know is Lesya Ukrainka. Lesya is also more known for her drama and poetry than her prose, but she also was a prolific translator and a feminist. Her most well-know play is The Forest Song (a cartoon adaptation is soon to be released after 7 years of production, but from the trailer it looks like it's not going to be close to the text). I find her Бояриня play to be much more interesting and relevant, however, it looks like it has not been translated yet. Among her poems, some of the most important are Contra Spem Spero and Cassandra (the latter has had some successful stage prouctions in Great Britain last year, mayhaps it will gain popularity)

Some links to her works: [x] [x]

Fun fact: there are speculations about Lesya Ukrainka's relationship with her close friend Olga Kobylyanska. The letters they exchanged are quite intimate and sometimes even erotic in nature, which lead some academics to believe that they were more than friends (most still fall in the "gal pals" camp tho). However, if that were true, that would mean that Lesya Ukrainka is the only bisexual woman to ever be printed on banknotes.

The third pillar of ukrainian classical literature is Ivan Franko. Once again, we are talking about partiotic poetry, but there are also many socialistic ideas in his works (although he became dissilusioned with it in his later years ), which I think many western readers will find appealing - (side comment - it looks like "collective west" is going through the same processses that we overcame a century ago, so ehm... good luck, y'all will need it). I haven't been able to find much of his works translated in English, so here is a good master page. Zakhar Berkut is considered to be one of his greatest works (a ukrainian-american co-production movie The Rising Hawk was released a couple of years ago, it was shit). If you manage to put your hands on it, I would greatly recommend The Painted Fox and Moses. Also, reading Eternal Revolutionary imprinted on me so much in childhood and determined who I grew up to be, I pretty much consider Franko to be my spiritual father.

A great event that happened this year is that Valeryan Pidmohylny's The City is finally getting an english translation. I have been gushing about this book on this blog before (you can also find the link to the publisher there), because for the archetypical ukrainian literature this book is a breath of fresh air. It's beautiful, it's modern, it's urbanistic, the protagonist is irredeemable asshole, it's amazing and I should re-read it as well.

Among the authors that are much more difficult to find, I greatly recommend Ivan Nechu-Levytsky. In my humble opinion, he like no other has managed to capture the "ukrainian spirit" and his plots are extremely captivating and dramatic as hell.

I will always, always add Ivan Bahryiany to my lists of ukrainian "must reads". He is an author of the first ever ukrainian adventure novel Tiger Trappers/The Hunters and the Hunted, which is the book that is loved even by those who don't like ukrainian literature. However, I personally find his Garden of Gethsemane to be a much more important (but take care, it is much more depressing as well). This author is extremely important, but I struggle finding PDFs of his work - perhaps, you'd have to search the libraries or ukr diaspora publishers for paperbacks. I have also been unsuccessfully hunting for an english translation of Why I am not going back to the Soviet Union? pamphlet for years - and I know for sure it exists because the USA first lady at that time has read it and it influenced her opinion on the USSR - but I've had no luck so far.

Another very important author of the same time period is Mykola Khyvylovy. One of his plays has actually been recently put to stage in English (shamefully, I haven't watched it yet, but I can vouch for the text it was based on - it's brutal).

I can't speak about ukrainian literature without mentioning crimean tatars, and although their works are much, much less known (in Ukraine as well, unfortunately), please do not overlook it. It is a gorgeous culture, and reading it, I grew to love and value Crimea so much even without ever visiting it. There are some english translations avaliable, including those of Noman Çelebicihan - an extermely important figure in Crimean Tatar history, the founder of the unfortunately short-lived Crimean Democratic Republic, the author of their national anthem, and overall very influential revolutionary.

Now let's jump to the popular modern authors. Many don't have english translation, but the problem is much less prominent in comparison to the ukrainian classics. With these authors, you shouldn't have trouble with finding paperbacks. Among the most influential authors I can recommend Serhiy Zhadan (Timothy Snyder has once said that he expects Zhadan to receive a Nobel Prize in literature and I agree), Oksana Zabuzhko (she either aught to release soon or has already released an english-exclusive book about the russian-ukrainian war), Yuri Izdryk (extremely modern and unconventional, but he's a good represention of the current state of art), Yuriy Andrukhovych (love his mastery of language, hate his characters). These authors are more light-hearted, but a grim necessity for today is Stanislav Aseyev's The Torture Camp on Paradise Street. It is a autobilgraphical book describing his experience being imprisoned by russians between 2017 and 2019. Western journalism often describes the war crimes russians commit on our land, but just listing the number of people lost doesn't show the face of the russian horror. Read this book to understand why we were screaming about the russian threat before the full-scale invasion, and why every time we regain the territory we brace with terror of what we'll discover there - because everywhere russian army goes, they build hunderds of such Isolyatsya camps that the book describes.

Also check out Serhiy Zhadan's band!

[lowkeyrobin]

hello, ziggy katz x transmasc reader. Ples 😋😋

- 🗡️

okay I can try 😔😔 ; thank you for requesting 🗡, hope you enjoy! ; also this is just kinda a hc thing idk man I tried LMFAOOAOAO

ZIGGY KATZ ; trans-something

summary ; being trans and also ziggys partner is something else

warnings ; language, slight transphobia / ignorance & misgendering

word count ; 409

masterlist

he lowkey doesn't understand at all

like.... okay??

he doesn't rlly care he still finds you hot/cute

he's supportive

but he doesn't rlly know what to do for you to make you comfortable so you're gonna have to have that talk

he's kind of ignorant tbh so don't expect him to be the nicest about it

like he wants to tell ppl himself and out you to his friends or random ppl and it's like wtf stop

lowkey misgenders you on accident

he grows a pair and stops whatever he's doing once u talk about it but like bro

he's always been ignorant / weird in a not good way but gang 💀 u wanna slap him upside the head sometimes

again he does grow a pair and releases "oh that's not very swaggy of me"

he talks like a 2020 dsmp kid, fight me

he often asks about if you're wearing your binder properly and keeping up with your T shots if you take them

he often sends you tiktoks ab trans ppl talking about their experience w being trans and asking "is this what u feel like??" and "damn I never knew it was this deep"

he was definitely one of those kids who needed the lgbtq+ explanation with the game consoles iykwim

like it wasn't that hard to understand but go off ig

he also sends you the occasional cringe "be who you are" video to make you smile

if you write any poetry about being trans, he's stealing it /hj

gotta keep the audience engaged

if it means speculation about him being trans then it's fine

a few weeks later he'll actually credit you and ppl r like "....does this count as queerbait?"

LMFAOOO

lowkey i hc him as transmasc too

so for any transmasc ziggy truthers this one is for you

transmasc boyfriends goes crazy btw

you're so much tighter now

he's a bit ignorant when it comes to accidentally outing you / accidentally misgendering you but tbf it's very new to him and he doesn't mean it purposefully

he never really feared anything when he came out so like.. he thought you'd be the same ??

he shares clothes with you as well

he genuinely passes as cis super well so if you need any help on passing he's here

he's lowkey kind of a bitch ab u not returning clothes tho

they're his not urs... it's called borrowing for a reason

[veturiusofserra]

this love

jack harlow x brazilian!reader

summary: through a podcast interview, Jack reveals his deep affection for his girlfriend

genre: fluffffff

my masterlist

Jack Harlow sat down for a podcast interview, ready to talk about his latest projects and the music that had captivated fans worldwide. But little did the audience know that this conversation would take an unexpected turn —one that would reveal the depths of his heart and the unexpected love he had found.

As the host of the podcast delved into his creative process, Jack's mind drifted to thoughts of her — the Brazilian actress who had captured his attention and stolen his heart. She had been living in the United States for a few years now, pursuing her dreams in Hollywood, and Jack couldn't help but be drawn to her charisma and talent.

The host noticed a shift in Jack's demeanor, a subtle smile playing on his lips, and decided to ask the question that would unravel the enigma behind this change.

"So, Jack, there's been some speculation about a certain special someone in your life. Care to share any insights?"

Jack took a moment to compose himself, realizing that it was time to let the world in on his little secret. He took a deep breath and began to speak, his voice filled with both vulnerability and excitement.

"Yeah, there is someone," he admitted. "She's an incredible actress, Brazilian by origin, but she's been living here in the US for a while now. We met through mutual friends, and from the moment we locked eyes, something just clicked."

As he spoke, he couldn't help but think of their first encounter — the way her eyes sparkled with laughter and how effortlessly they connected, despite their different backgrounds and cultures.

"We have this unspoken understanding," Jack continued, "a connection that transcends words. She's like poetry in motion, and her passion for acting is contagious. I've watched her perform on screen, and every time, I'm in awe of her talent."

The host couldn't help but notice the glimmer in Jack's eyes as he spoke about this mystery woman. It was evident that she had left an indelible mark on his heart.

"And I think that's the thing," Jack added with a soft chuckle, "it's not just her beauty or her talent—it's her spirit, her energy. She's the kind of person who lights up the room when she walks in. And when we're together, it feels like we're the only two people in the world."

"I never thought I'd find someone like her," he admitted, his voice growing softer, almost as if he were confessing his love to the world. "She's become such an important part of my life, and I can't imagine it without her."

The host was captivated by Jack's candidness and couldn't resist asking one final question. "Have you told her how you feel?"

Jack smiled, a mix of nervousness and determination evident in his expression. "Not yet, but I think it's about time. I want her to know how much she means to me, and I don't want to let this chance slip away."

Little did Jack know that as he professed his love on the podcast, the actress he adored was listening intently, heart pounding in her chest. She had always admired his music and talent, but hearing him speak so openly about his feelings sent butterflies dancing in her stomach.

[kummatty]

Logic(s) Magazine and Arab Reform Initiative developed a one-year fellowship opportunity for Palestinian journalists and storytellers. Please share!

"The purpose of this program is to support community-led storytelling on Palestine and its relationship to technology, to strengthen the magazine’s contributions to Palestine reporting, and to redistribute resources to Palestinian journalists. Logic(s) will provide training, workshops, and informal mentoring to fellows on domain-specific topics like secure communication, algorithmic models, and techno-culture. ARI provides bilingual (English/Arabic) programming including a work group on tech in the Middle East North Africa region. Fellows have the option to participate in their work groups and publications if they are interested.

Each of the four Palestinian journalists selected will receive a stipend of 20,000 USD over the course of their fellowship year. They will participate in the Logic(s) magazine editorial board and have the option to participate in programming on critical technology studies alongside members of the ARI. Fellows are required to contribute at least one article to the magazine over the fellowship year but have the option to commission and publish up to two pieces per issue. We are a technology magazine that thinks about technology very broadly, publishing in a range of genres, including nonfiction essays, photography, graphic stories, poetry, and speculative fiction. Given that we publish only twice a year, we look for stories that take a step back to provide analysis on the larger historical, political, and technical context, rather than just-the-facts reporting better suited for daily news.

The fellowship is open to any Palestinian journalist and/or storyteller, anywhere in the world. Special priority is given to early career applicants who are either currently located in Palestine or in refugee camps, and/or have been recently displaced.

This fellowship was made possible through the generous support of Distributed AI Research, Migration and Technology Monitor, Pillars Fund as well as individual Logic(s) readers and supporters who gave between $5 and $45,000 each.

Priority Deadline: October 16 Final Deadline: November 27

For those who are ready to hit the ground running right now, they can submit within six weeks for an expedited consideration. For those who need more time, you can submit by November 27. At least two slots will be reserved for those who apply by the second date."

[lexlaine]

Writeblr Intro

Hi writeblr. I write under the name Lex Laine.

I write fiction exclusively. Speculative, sci-fi, and horror. Maybe some poetry. Maybe some unearthed archives. Possibly some of my TTRPG module content if the mood strikes. I am unpublished but prospecting.

About Me

They/them, 31 yo, queer as heck

Engineer moonlighting as a writer

Consumer of content: books, cinema, art; especially of the horror variety

Submission Calls That Fill Me With Dread

Apex Magazine

Planet Scummy

Clarkesworlde Magazine

The Nottingham Horror Collective

WIPS That Haunt Me

Paragon Parting. Adult speculative horror. TW: just about everything. Tags: paragon parting. A brain-melting prion disease becomes transmissable and extinction is wrought upon humanity. Is redemption possible when survival necessitates destruction? —> https://editor.reedsy.com/s/ueel0Pl

Flora Story. Adult fantastical horror. TW: body horror. Tags: flora story. Dalliance with dark entities endentures two young socialites to propagation of an agricultural beast. What are morals, anyways? —> https://novlr.org/share/65407b08ce63dc3fa1aa9eb3/65407abece63dc488baa6f24

The Neon Mainly. Adult speculative sci-fi. Tags: neon mainly. Utopian cyberpunk gig economy aesthetics consumes Unsolved Mysteries in this plot-driven exploration of ethics and obligation. —> https://novlr.org/share/65407a43ce63dc8452a9ff8d/654078d8ce63dc3c29a8e134

Books I’ve Read This Year That Changed Me

The Dark Star Trilogy by Marlon James

Blindsight by Peter Watts

The Dead Take the A Train by Richard Kadrey and Cassandra Khaw

Mister Magic by Kiersten White

Cursed Bunny by Bora Chung

Looking for….

Beautiful words to fill my heart

Beta (and alpha, let’s be real) readers

Community and writer friends

I’m looking for more writeblrs! Please interact with this post if you think I’d enjoy your work. Happy to beta read sci-fi, horror, and speculative fiction.

[collectivecartomancy]

Quick & Easy Tarot Card Meanings (Yes, All 78)

The Modern Phrasal approach is a novel method of learning tarot.

It queers older card meanings by applying them to a wider context of human life.

Each phrase is built for modern concerns, attention spans, and situations. 

I developed the Modern Phrasal Approach during my twenty-two years of tarot study.

Temperance Queer Tarot, my tarot service for queers, feminists, and leftists, has been in operation for the past twelve years. 

The Modern Phrasal Approach also comes out of my lifelong work as a poet. I hold an MFA in Creative Writing from Columbia University.

SLINGSHOT, my first book of poems, won several awards. It also reminded me of the importance of the phrase to language. 

The primacy of the phrase is what poetry understands better than all other forms of writing.

The Modern Phrasal Approach combines tarot, storytelling, and poetry to paint a picture of possible futures. 

You may notice that there are no reversed card meanings.

This is because the reader is intended to read reverse as a return to the unlearned lessons of the previous card.

That is the best method of reversal reading for this system. Of course, you may elect not to read reversals at all. 

Ok, let’s go!

(P.S. I don’t know how to put in anchor links so control + F is your friend!)

Major Arcana

0: The Fool

Keywords: Risk-Taking. New Beginnings. Variability.

Love & Sex: Androgynous and/or Bisexual Lovers. Risk-Taking in Love. Asking Someone Out.

Friendship: A Scattered, yet Affable Friend. New Friendship. 

Money: Making Money Through Gambling, Speculation, and Other Risks. Money Lost and Won. 

Career/Business/Work: Self-Employment. Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow. 

 1: Magician

Keywords: Initiation. Manipulation. Communication. Technology. Alchemy. 

Love & Sex: Making the First Move. Manipulating a Lover (Especially with The Fool). 

Friendship: Forming or Forging a New Friendship. Initiating a Friendship. 

Money: Creating Money Out of the Ether. Money Drawn Through Clear Communication. 

Career/Business/Work: Technologists. Scientists. Alchemists. Clear Communication At Work. 

2: High Priestess

Keywords: Mystery. Prophesy. Intuition. Three-Faced Goddess: Maiden. 

Love & Sex: Lesbians. Sex Activating Deep Desires. Mysterious Love. Secrets in Love. 

Friendship: Covens. Clandestine (Informal) Gatherings. Psychic Friends. 

Money: Money Made From Secret or Hidden Sources. Money Made From Psychic Work. 

Career/Business/Work: Therapist. Psychics. Mediums. Religious Leaders in Feminist Traditions.  

3: Empress

Keywords: Three-Faced Goddess: Mother. Fertility. Abundance. Nurturing. Creativity. Nature.

Love & Sex: Being Worshipped By a Lover. Getting Pregnant. Creative Sex. 

Friendship: Abundant and Nurturing Friendships. 

Money: Financial Ease and Abundance.  

Career/Business/Work: Nannies. Housewives. Career Success Without Much Work.

4: Emperor

Keywords: Power. Valor. Stability. Direction. Hierarchy. Decisiveness. Masculinity. Experts.

Love & Sex: Aggressive Sex. Love With Someone Who Has Power. Older Lovers. 

Friendship: Being Friends With Your Boss. Friendships With People Who Have More Power.

Money: Making Money Through Wise Decisions or Powerful Connections. Money Moves. 

Career/Business/Work: Brokers. Military Leaders. Power. Expertise. Promotion. 

5: Hierophant

Keywords: Religion. Order. Secret Organizations. Organization. Governments. Three-Faced Goddess: Crone.

Love & Sex: Serious Relationships. Missionary Sex. Marriage. Escalator Relationships. 

Friendship: Socially Sanctioned Friendships. Mentorships.   

Money: Money From Investments, Banks, and Business. Money From Religious Work. 

Career/Business/Work: Clergy. Trustees. Security. Working Up an Established Business Ladder. 

6: Lovers

Keywords: Love. Romance. Choice. Harmony. Balance Between People and Sides of Yourself.  

Love & Sex: True Love. Deep Romance and Understanding. Loving Sex. Self Love. 

Friendship: Spiritual Friendships. Loving Friendships. Friendships That Encourage Self Love.

Money: Money Made in Harmonious, Easeful Ways. 

Career/Business/Work: Harmonious and Spiritually Aligned Jobs.  

7: Chariot

Keywords: Ambition. Success. Drive.  Self-Determination. Missions. Journeys. 

Love & Sex: Landing an Idealized Partner. Satisfying Sex. Athletic Sex. Competitive Dating. 

Friendship: Friendships That Bring Success or With Successful People. Competitive Friends. 

Money: Money Gained Through Ambition, Drive, or Brute Force. 

Career/Business/Work: Professional Success. Military Service. Sports. 

8: Strength

Keywords: Boundaries. Force. Grace. Human/Animal Dichotomy. Willpower.  

Love & Sex: Breaking Old Patterns in Love. Setting Boundaries. 

Friendship: Setting Boundaries With Friends. Helping a Friend Advance Emotionally.

Money: Applying Grace To Your Financial Life. Being Honest About a Financial Situation. 

Career/Business/Work: Strength of Will At Work. Overcoming Rivals. 

9: Hermit

Keywords: Seeing the Light. Being Alone. Leading the Way. Self-Isolation. Loneliness. 

Love & Sex: Celibacy. Needing To Put Yourself Out There. Frigidity. Too in Your Head. 

Friendship: Need To Make New Friends. Philosophical Friendship. 

Money: Money Made in Isolation. 

Career/Business/Work: Work That Requires Long Periods Alone To Complete. Scholars.

10: Wheel of Fortune

Keywords: Gambles. Wild Rides. Fate. Turning Your Present Condition Upside Down. Cycles.

Love & Sex: Relationship Ups and Downs. Fated Meetings. New Relationships. Karma. 

Friendship: Fated Friendships. Changes in Friendships. Long-Term Friendships. 

Money: Surprise Money Gain or Loss. Money Appears From an Unexpected Source. Gambling. 

Career/Business/Work: Gamblers,Poker Players, and Card Sharks. Taking a Chance At Work.

11: Justice

Keywords: Balance. Fairness. Legal Decisions. Karma. Retribution. 

Love & Sex: An Equal Romance. You Reap What You Sow in Relationships. 

Friendship: Being in Right Relationship With a Friend.  

Money: Money From Legal Settlements. A Fair Split. A Fair Wage. 

Career/Business/Work: Contracts. The End of a Business Dispute. 

12: Hanged Man

Keywords: Patience. Surrender. Sacrifice. Martyrdom. Enlightenment. 

Love & Sex: Waiting For the Right Person. Getting a New Perspective in Love. Pillow Queens. 

Friendship: Tripping With Friends. Friends Who Change Your Beliefs or Attitudes. 

Money: Money From Alternative Healing. Waiting For Money To Come. 

Career/Business/Work: Yoga Teachers. Wise People. Allowing a Boss To Show Their True Colors.  

13: Death

Keywords: Endings. Clearings. Rebirth. Transformation. 

Love & Sex: Breakups That You Could See Coming. Strong Orgasms. Relationship Transformation. 

Friendship: Ending Friendships. Life-Changing Friendships. 

Money: End To a Source of Income. Clearing the Way For New Money. 

Career/Business/Work: Losing a Job. Moving On From a Career. Working With the Dead. 

14: Temperance

Keywords: Balance. Budgeting. Human/Divine. Miracles. Healing. Spiritual Expansion. 

Love & Sex: Making Up After an Argument. Equitable Sexual Encounters. 

Friendship: Friendships That Come From or Lead To Spiritual Expansion. 

Money: Creating a Budget. Putting Money in the Correct Accounts. Expansive Financial Thinking. 

Career/Business/Work: Philosophy. Spiritual Work. Exceeding Your Estimations At Work. 

15: Devil

Keywords: Obsession. Abuse. Capitalism. Celebrity. Greed. Sexuality. Addiction. 

Love & Sex: A Volatile, Abusive, Dangerous, or Manipulative Lover. A Lover With an Addiction.

Friendship: Friends Who Bring Trouble. Charismatic, yet Abusive Friends. 

Money: Developing an Unhealthy Relationship To Money. Greed. Money Over Everything. 

Career/Business/Work: Film Industry. Jobs That Use Underhanded Tactics. Watch Your Back.  

16: Tower

Keywords: Shock. Surprise. Confinement. Revolution. Major Changes. Potential Danger. 

Love & Sex: A Surprising End or Change To a Relationship. A Quickie. 

Friendship: Shocking End To a Friendship. Major Changes in a Friendship. 

Money: Changes in Wealth, Like Sudden Home Moves and Bank Account Closures. 

Career/Business/Work: Working in Prisons or Hospitals. Job Loss or Radical Job Change. 

17: Star

Keywords: Healing. Faith. Renewal. Guidance. Prophecy. Wisdom. Altruism. Social Justice.

Love & Sex: An Altruistic Relationship. Healing in Relationships. Asking For Relationship Advice. 

Friendship: Renewal of a Friendship. Wisdom Gained From Friendship. 

Money: Money Made For the Social Good. Giving Money To Charity. 

Career/Business/Work: Social Justice Organizations. Listening To Internal Guidance At Work.

18: Moon

Keywords: Emotions. Confusion. Illusions. Psychic Ability. Repressed Emotions and Trauma. 

Love & Sex: Problems and Confusion in Relationships. Trauma Affecting Relationships. 

Friendship: Emotional Illusions in Friendship. False Friendship. Confusion Due to Friends. 

Money: Money Made Through Night Work, in Theaters, Hotels, or Nightclubs. Financial Illusions. 

Career/Business/Work: Any Work That Creates Illusions. Wait For the Truth About a Job. 

19: Sun

Keywords: Revelation. Clarity. Children. Optimism. Heat. Passion. 

Love & Sex: Clarity in a Romantic Relationship. A Partner With Whom You May Want Children.  

Friendship: Friends With Children. Clarity About Friendships. Optimism About Friendships. 

Money: Revelation of a New Way To Make Money. Summer or Seasonal Jobs. 

Career/Business/Work: Optimism About Your Career Careers in the Public Eye. 

20: Judgment

Keywords: Decisions. Accountability. Outcomes. Awakening. Recovery.

Love & Sex: Making Romantic Decisions. A Lover Holds You Accountable. Turning Points in Love. 

Friendship: The Outcome of a Conflict With a Friend. Deciding Whether or Not To Stay Friends.

Money: Successful Business Deals and Financial Endeavors. Careful Where You Put Your Money. 

Career/Business/Work: Be Decisive At Work. Becoming the Person in Charge. Responsibility. 

21: World

Keywords: Completion. Attainment. Breaking Cycles. Moving Up in the World. Fulfillment.  

Love & Sex: Major Life Events in Love Like Starting a Family or Moving in Together. 

Friendship: Events Where Friends Can Watch You Succeed Like a Graduation or Wedding. 

Money: Confidence in Financial Endeavors. Financial Success After Hard Work. Public Trading. 

Career/Business/Work: Traveling For Work. Fulfilling Jobs.

Minor Arcana: Wands

Ace of Wands 

Keywords: Beginnings. Conception. Sex. Invitations. New Jobs. Opportunity.

Love & Sex: Flings. Impatience in Love. Sex Without Love. Quickies. Meetings.

Friendship: New Friends. Sudden Return of Old Connections. 

Money: Quick Cash. Temporary Increase in Income. Gambling. 

Career/Business/Work: Move Quickly Towards a New Opportunity. Invitations.

 Two of Wands

Keywords: Working Together. Expansion. Making Decisions. Road To Success. 

Love & Sex: Wandering Eye. Grass Always Greener On the Other Side.. Practical Decisions. 

Friendship: Working With Friends. Friends Made At Work. 

Money: Money From Small or Self Owned Businesses. Helping Your Job Make More Money.  

Career/Business/Work: Interviews. Evaluating Potential Employers. Collaboration. 

Three of Wands

Keywords: Media. Communication. Travel. Evaluating Your Companions. Taking the Next Step.

Love & Sex: Decisions About Love. Traveling Together. Online Dating. Ultimatums. 

Friendship: Traveling With Friends. Online Friends. Expansion. Early Stages of Friendship.

Money: Making Money Online. Investing in Yourself. E-Commerce. 

Career/Business/Work: Remote Work. Online Donations. Advertising. Creative Business. 

Four of Wands 

Keywords: Surprises. Success. Celebrations. Luck. Rites of Passage.

Love & Sex: Good News. Weddings. Baby Showers. Wedding Showers. Housewarmings.

Friendship: Celebrations With Friends. Joyous Occasions. Graduations. Creating Memories. 

Money: Hosting Parties For Money. Enjoying Your Money. Down Payments. Abundance. 

Career/Business/Work: A Thriving Team. A New Workplace. Joyful Work. 

Five of Wands

Keywords: Conflict. Play. Team Sports. Young People. Debate. 

Love & Sex: Conflict. Arguments. Difficult Conversations. Light Kink. Group Play. 

Friendship: Banter. Conflict With Friends. Disagreement. Team Sports.  

Money: Auctions. Fighting For a Contract. A Competitive Financial Environment. 

Career/Business/Work: Friendly Rivalries At Work. Professional Competition. Business. 

Six of Wands

Keywords: Power. Drive. Moving Quickly. Success. Accomplishment. Achievement. Esteem.

Love & Sex: Attractive Companions. Coming On Too Strong. Success in Love.

Friendship: A Successful Friend. Making the First Move. Success With Friends. 

Money: Winning Grants and Awards. Promotion. Asking For a Raise. 

Career/Business/Work: New Jobs and Promotion. Success in Business Assignments.

Seven of Wands

Keywords: Battle. Drive. Uncertain Outcome. Defending Yourself. Hostility. Arguments. 

Love & Sex: Surprising Conflict. Too Much Sex. Differing Sexual or Romantic Needs. 

Friendship: Arguments With Friends. Annoying or Competitive Friends. 

Money: A Competitive Field. Feeling Like There Isn’t Enough Money. Overwork. 

Career/Business/Work: Unrealistic Demands. Rivals. Overbearing Boss. 

Eight of Wands

Keywords: Swift Movement. Letters. Information. Quick Results. Communication. 

Love & Sex: Flirtation. Love Letters. Sexting. Sneaky Links. Unexpected Connections. 

Friendship: Sexy Parties With Friends. Being a Wingwoman/Wingman. Flirting With Friends. 

Money: Quick Flow of Money. Spending Money. Money Spent To Advance Yourself. 

Career/Business/Work: A Fast Moving Project. Hearing Back From an Interview. Internships. 

Nine of Wands

Keywords: A Pause in Battle. Attractiveness. Health. Considered Action. 

Love & Sex: Being Admired. Multiple Love Interests. People Fighting For Your Attention. 

Friendship: Working Out With Friends. Friend Who Has a Crush On You. Conflict Between Friends.

Money: Negative Attitude About Money. Bank Charges. Temporary Loss of Money. 

Career/Business/Work: Negative Performance Reviews. Need To Work Harder. 

Ten of Wands

Keywords: Overwhelm. Burdens. Taking On Too Much. Demands. Final Straw.  

Love & Sex: Too Much of a Good Thing. Need To Take a Step Back. Too Much Work To Date 

Friendship: A Needy or Demanding Friend. Picking Up the Slack For Irresponsible Friends. 

Money: Low Return On Investment. Not Planning For Taxes. Money That Becomes Burdensome. 

Career/Business/Work: Too Many Jobs. Too Much Work. Suffering Under Your Own Ambition.

Page of Wands

Keywords: Young People. Active or Sporty People. Fun. Casual, Short-Term Relationships.

Love & Sex: Dating Around. Casual Sex. Short-Term Relationships. Younger Lovers. Speed Dating.

Friendship: Younger Friends. Immature Friends. Acquaintances. 

Money: Figuring Out How To Make Money. School or Learning. Gig Economies. 

Career/Business/Work: Playing Around At Your Job. Gig Work. Still Figuring Out What You Want. 

Knight of Wands

Keywords: Rushing in. Valor. Enthusiasm. Being Seen. Physical Attractiveness. 

Love & Sex: Partners Who Aren’t Taking You Seriously. Affairs. Heartthrobs. 

Friendship: Opinions About Friends’ Romantic and Sex Lives. An Attractive Friend. 

Money: Grabbing a New Opportunity. Getting the Financial Upper Hand. A New Idea About Money.  

Career/Business/Work: Changing Jobs. Becoming the Office Hero. Creative Problem Solving. 

Queen of Wands

Keywords: Popularity. Influence. Grace. Glamor. Magnetism. 

Love & Sex: Waiting For Lovers To Come To You. Having Your Pick of Lovers. Feeling Sexy. 

Friendship: Popularity. People Who Seem To Be Friends With Everyone. Powerful Women Friends.

Money: Feeling Control Over Your Financial Life. Influencing or Being Influenced About Money. 

Career/Business/Work: Businesses That Empower Women. Motivational Speaking in the Office. 

King of Wands

Keywords: Powerful. Self-Directedness. Leadership. Paramour. Businessman. 

Love & Sex: An Unavailable Man. A Sexy, yet Short-Term Relationship. Cheating. Hot Sex.

Friendship: Friendship With a Business Mentor or Superior 

Money: Making Your Own Money. Money That Comes Based On Image or Appearance.  

Career/Business/Work: Owning a Small Business. Becoming a Leader At Work or Business.

Minor Arcana: Swords

Ace of Swords

Keywords: Information. Endings. Truth. Death. Cutting Through the Bullshit.

Love & Sex: Finding Out the Truth About a Lover. A Turning Point in a Relationship.  

Friendship: A Crisis in a Friendship. A Secret Is Revealed About a Friend. 

Money: Money From Legal Decisions. Security Deposits. Making Financial Decisions. 

Career/Business/Work: Applying For New Jobs. Communicating With Your Employer. 

 Two of Swords

Keywords: Inability To Make a Decision. Fear of Moving Forward. Denial. Legal Issues. Delays.

Love & Sex: Filing For a Divorce. Applying For a Marriage License. Denial About a Lover. 

Friendship: Difficulty Making a Decision About a Problem in a Friendship.  

Money: Delayed Money From Legal Sources. Process Difficulties With Money.  

Career/Business/Work: Delays in Signing Contracts. Uncertainty About Leaving a Job. 

Three of Swords

Keywords: Heartbreak. Sudden Endings. Miscarriages. Pain. Unavoidable Ruptures. Discord. 

Love & Sex: Break-ups. Arguments. Misunderstandings. Affairs. Hurt Feelings. 

Friendship: Ending a Failing Friendship. Big Fights Between Friends. Being Abandoned By Friends. 

Money: Expected Money Fails To Come Through. Contracts May Be Dissolved. Finances Stalled.

Career/Business/Work: Job Loss. Communication Problems. Workplace Harassment. 

Four of Swords 

Keywords: Rest. Healing. Confinement. Loneliness. Isolation. 

Love & Sex: Missionary Position. Boring Love. Healing Conversation After a Fight.  

Friendship: Visiting Friends in the Hospital. Not Having Many Friends. Missing Friends.

Money: Finances On Hold. Considering the Next Financial Move. 

Career/Business/Work: Taking a Leave of Absence From Work. Considering Your Options. 

Five of Swords

Keywords: Impasse. Deception. Duplicity. Abuse. Selfishness. Abandonment. Worry. Strife.

Love & Sex: Two-Faced Lovers. Verbal Abuse. Selfishness In Bed. Sexual Abuse. Ghosting. 

Friendship: Friends Who Use You. Entitled Friends. Abandoning a Friend.

Money: Theft. Scams. Things That Appear Better Than They Are. Taking Advantage of Others. 

Career/Business/Work: Abusive Workplace. Wage Theft. Bait and Switch In Business.

Six of Swords

Keywords: Moving On. Getting Away From Abuse. Travel and Movement. Finding Safety.  

Love & Sex: Establishing a New Pattern of Healthy Relationships. Leaving Abusive Relationships.

Friendship: Staying With Friends. Moving in With Friends. 

Money: Making Money Through Travel. Finding a Clear Path To Make Money After a Hard Time.

Career/Business/Work: Traveling For Work. Finding More Harmony in The Workplace After Strife. 

Seven of Swords

Keywords: Theft. Cheating. Doing What’s Best For You. Forcing Change. Surprising Behavior.

Love & Sex: Infidelity. Leaving Suddenly. Lying. Considering Multiple Partners. 

Friendship: Lies and Deception in Friendship. Sudden Changes in Friendship. 

Money: Getting Over On Others. Stealing Money. Scams.  

Career/Business/Work: Lying To Your Boss. Going Behind Your Colleagues’ Back. Hidden Rivalry. 

Eight of Swords

Keywords: Feeling Trapped. Fear of Moving On. Being Stuck in Hostile or Painful Patterns. Incarceration. Addiction.

Love & Sex: Being Trapped in Abusive Relationships. Fear of Leaving. Limiting Beliefs About Love.  

Friendship: Friends That Hurt You. Continuing Painful Friendships. 

Money: Limiting Activities Due To Lack of Funds. Repeating Patterns That Keep You Broke. 

Career/Business/Work: Being Stuck At An Unsupportive or Bad Job. 

Nine of Swords

Keywords: Trauma. Grief. Shadow Work. Sadness. Humiliations. Betrayal. 

Love & Sex: A Relationship That Causes Pain. Fear of Relationships Because of Past Hurt. 

Friendship: A Painful Event in a Friendship. Difficulty Making Friends Due To Trauma. 

Money: Financial Stress. Poverty Trauma. Money Worries. Self-Worth Issues Related To Money. 

Career/Business/Work: Prolonged Unemployment. Stressful or Unrewarding Work. 

Ten of Swords

Keywords: Final End. Release. Destruction. Goodbyes. Relief Caused By Letting Go. 

Love & Sex: Unresolvable Issues. Emotional Catharsis. Feeling Better After a Relationship Ends. 

Friendship: Ending a Friendship For Good. Resolving Old Issues. 

Money: Failure of Some Kind in Finances. Ending a Period of Hardship By Making New Decisions. 

Career/Business/Work: End of a Job. Termination. Lay-offs. 

Page of Swords

Keywords: Gossip. Chit Chat. School Groups. Casual Conversation.

Love & Sex: All Talk. Relationship Gossip. Flirtatious Texts. Getting To Know Each Other.

Friendship: Casual Friend Groups. Gossipy or Shallow Friends. 

Money: News and Documents Related To Money. New Plans to Make Money.  

Career/Business/Work: News About a New Job or Potential Job. Applying For Jobs. 

Knight of Swords

Keywords: Breath of Fresh Air. Fools Rush in. What’s Done in the Dark Will Come To Light. 

Love & Sex: Intellectual Companions. Romantic Banter.

Friendship: Sparring Partners. School Friends. Debate Partners. Intellectual Friendship.  

Money: Surprising Information About Money. Possibly Bad News Related To Money.   

Career/Business/Work: Information About a Possible Job. Communication. Marketing. 

Queen of Swords

Keywords: Exacting. Cold. A Single Parent or Divorced Person. Could Be a Widow/er/x.  

Love & Sex: Frigid. High Standards. Wants a Partner, But Doesn’t Need One. 

Friendship: People Who Are Difficult To Get To Know. Friends Who Seem To Have It All Together. 

Money: Wise Financial Decisions. Independent Assets. Clear Financial Communication. 

Career/Business/Work: Working Independently. Nurses. Thought Leadership. Witches.

King of Swords

Keywords: Smart. Logical. Unemotional. Professional. Charming. Lacking Empathy. 

Love & Sex: A Professional. Someone Who Needs To Feel Above or Removed From Others.

Friendship: A Collegial Relationship. A Professional Friend. 

Money: Anticipating Future Needs. Wills. Trusts. Bonds. Financial Deals Go Well. 

Career/Business/Work: Law. Communication. A Charming Boss. An Intellectual Environment.

Minor Arcana: Cups

Ace of Cups

Keywords: Emotional Beginnings. Outpouring. Abundance. Fertility. 

Love & Sex: Conception (Especially With the Ace of Wands.) Orgasm. New Love. 

Friendship: New, Emotionally Fulfilling Friendship. Emotional Sharing With Friends. 

Money: Creative Money. Outpouring of Money. 

Career/Business/Work: Jobs in Creative Fields. Renewal in Business Life. 

 Two of Cups

Keywords: Partnership. Harmonious Relationships. Romance. 

Love & Sex: Romantic Love. Lovemaking. Early Stages of a Great Romantic Partnership.  

Friendship: Harmonious Friendships. Friends To Lovers. 

Money: Making Money Through Strong Business Partnerships. 

Career/Business/Work: Mixing Love With Money. Counting On a Good Team. 

Three of Cups

Keywords: Friendship. Parties. Gatherings. Revalry. Socializing. 

Love & Sex: Group Sex. Friendly Relationships. Taking a Lover To Meet Your Friends.

Friendship: Friend Groups. Parties and Events With Friends. A Sweet Time With Friends. 

Money: Money Made In Groups. Money Made From Social Events. 

Career/Business/Work: Working With Groups of People. Harmonious Group Dynamics At Work. 

Four of Cups 

Keywords: Meditation. Isolation. Shutting Out Information. Trance. Transcendence.  

Love & Sex: Ignoring Potential Suitors. Not Listening To Your Partner’s Needs. Celibacy. 

Friendship: Not Returning Texts. Feeling Like You Don’t Have Friends. Isolation. 

Money: Focus On a Particular Stream of Income. Ignoring Sound Advice About Money. 

Career/Business/Work: Overworking To Avoid Emotional Problems. Honing Your Craft.

Five of Cups

Keywords: Grief. Loss. Counting Your Blessings. Reevaluation. Taking Things For Granted. 

Love & Sex: Grief Over a Lost Relationship. Emotionally Unfulfilling Sex. 

Friendship: Losing a Friend. Mourning Lost Relationships.

Money: Losing Money. Poverty Trauma.

Career/Business/Work: Underemployment. Considering Leaving Your Job.

Six of Cups

Keywords: Reunion. Innocence. Immaturity. Sharing. Mutual Aid. Karma. Children.

Love & Sex: Getting Back With an Ex. Synchronicities With a Karmic Link. A Younger Lover.

Friendship: A Younger Friend. Reunion With Friends. An Immature Friend.  

Money: New Beginnings With Money or Potentially a New Source of Income. 

Career/Business/Work: Working With Children or Teens. Harmonious Work Environments. 

Seven of Cups

Keywords: Choices. Illusions. Social Media/Online Environments. Spiritual Journeys. 

Love & Sex: Online Dating. Choosing Between Partners. Promises That Don’t Materialize. 

Friendship: Choosing Between Friendships. New Friendships You’re Idealizing.

Money: Money From Spiritual Work. Money With Hidden Strings.

Career/Business/Work: Choosing Between Jobs. Contracts That Aren’t Exactly As They Seem. 

Eight of Cups

Keywords: Moving On. Leaving the Past Behind. Ending Abusive Dynamics.  Disappointment.

Love & Sex: Trial Separation. Going To Bed Without Resolution. Sexual Disappointment. 

Friendship: Ending a Friendship. Recognizing Unhealthy Dynamics in a Friendship. 

Money: Financial Loss. Moving Forward With a Bad Investment. 

Career/Business/Work: Leaving a Dead End Job. Drudgery At Work.

Nine of Cups

Keywords: Wishes. Manifestation. Satisfaction. Pleasure. Egotism. 

Love & Sex: Great Sex. Manifesting a Partner. A Partner Who Is Too Good To Be True. 

Friendship: Trying To Make Friends Jealous. Wishing For Friends. Manifesting With Friends. 

Money: Manifesting Money. Desired Money Arrives.

Career/Business/Work: A Seemingly Perfect Job. A Job That Gives You a Big Head.

Ten of Cups

Keywords: Creating a Family. Lasting Love and Friendship. Joy. Abundance. 

Love & Sex: Excellent, Loving Sex. Life Partnerships. 

Friendship: Friends That Are Family. Happiness in Friendship.  

Money: Money Through Those You Love. Money That Comes With Happiness. 

Career/Business/Work: Joyful Work Environments. Family Businesses. 

Page of Cups

Keywords: Becoming Emotionally Aware. Naivete. Creative Beginnings.

Love & Sex: Getting Attached To a Casual Date. Emotional Hookups. Good First Dates. 

Friendship: New Friends. Playing With Friends.  

Money: A Small Amount of Money From a Creative Source. 

Career/Business/Work: Being Creative At Work. Creative Employment. Creative Apprenticeship.

Knight of Cups

Keywords: Fools Rush in. Pitching Woo. New Suitor or Date. 

Love & Sex: One of the Best Indications of a New Lover. Short, yet Passionate Romance. 

Friendship: A New Friend Who Becomes Emotionally Invested Quickly. An Earnest Friendship. 

Money: Money or News About Money Arrives Quickly From a Creative Source. 

Career/Business/Work: Delivering a Presentation With a Creative Element. 

Queen of Cups

Keywords: Nurturing. Parenting. Psychic Power. Mysterious Emotions. Femininity.

Love & Sex: Kind and Sweet Lover Who Can Be Overgiving. Sensitive Partners. 

Friendship: Friendships That Have a Caretaking Element. Caring Friendships. 

Money: Money Made Through Intuitive Prediction. Money Made in the Care Economy. 

Career/Business/Work: Work Helping Others. Working With Mothers. 

King of Cups

Keywords: Emotional Control. Creative Power. Self-Mastery Through Emotional Understanding. 

Love & Sex: An Emotional Lover. Drama Queens. Romantic Environments.  

Friendship: Friendships With People Who Like High Drama Settings. Emotionally Mature Friends.

Money: Money Made Through Others’ Emotional Responses. 

Career/Business/Work: Theater. Artistic Professions. Working For an Emotional Boss.

Minor Arcana: Pentacles

Ace of Pentacles

Keywords: Financial Beginnings. New Homes and Businesses. Beginnings of Stability.

Love & Sex: A New Relationship That Could Go Somewhere. Sex For Conception. 

Friendship: A New Dependable Friend. Money that comes through friends. 

Money: A New Source of Income That Could Last. Investing.

Career/Business/Work: A New Job. A Promotion. A Raise.

 Two of Pentacles

Keywords: Balance. Robbing Peter to Pay Paul. Juggling Responsibilities. Financial Fluctuation.

Love & Sex: Creating Balance in Relationships. Overwork That Affects a Relationship.   

Friendship: Juggling Social and Professional Responsibilities. Sharing Responsibilities.  

Money: Money Comes and Goes Fast. Economic Change. Stock Markets. Gambling.

Career/Business/Work: Promotion or Demotion. Revolving Door Jobs. 

Three of Pentacles

Keywords: Building. Collaboration. Creation. Communication. Religious Spaces. 

Love & Sex: Co-creating a Future With a Lover. Getting Serious.  

Friendship: Working With Friends. Creating Something With a Friend Group. 

Money: Money Made Collaboratively. Sometimes Money Made From Building and Construction. 

Career/Business/Work: Real Estate. Clergy. Construction. Working Together To Meet Goals. 

Four of Pentacles 

Keywords: Stinginess. Hoarding. Control Issues. Greed. Afraid To Let Go. 

Love & Sex: Selfishness in Bed. Controlling Your Partner. Putting Pressure On  a Relationship.

Friendship: Forcing a Friendship. Controlling Your Friends. Rubbing Your Gains in Their Face. 

Money: Holding On To Your Money. Greed. Bank Accounts.  

Career/Business/Work: Working With Money. Being Selfish At Work. 

Five of Pentacles

Keywords: Poverty. Unwilling To Ask For Help. Feeling Shut Out of Care. 

Love & Sex: Relationship Problems Caused By Financial Problems. Emotionally Cold Sex. 

Friendship: Feeling Shut Out of Friend Groups and Friendships. Friends Talking Behind Your Back. 

Money: Loss of Money. Needed Money Doesn’t Come Through. 

Career/Business/Work: Job Loss, Business Failure, Economic Problems. 

Six of Pentacles

Keywords: Charity. Philanthropy. Hierarchy. Provider. Financial Harmony.

Love & Sex: Making the Relationship Officiall. Crumbing. Stone Top/Pillow Queen Dynamic. 

Friendship: Lending Money To a Friend. Feeling Secure in a Friendship Due To Established Rules.

Money: Money Comes in From an Established Source. Money Through Charity or Venture Capital.

Career/Business/Work: Charity Work. Working in Philanthropy, NGOs, or Non-Profits.

Seven of Pentacles

Keywords: Investment. Patience. Sowing So You Can Reap. Doing the Hard Work.  

Love & Sex: Quality Time. Long Sexual Sessions. Orgasm Denial. 

Friendship: Long-Term Friendships. Investing Time Into Your Friendships

Money: Investing Your Money. High-Yield Savings Accounts. 

Career/Business/Work: Working Overtime. Working At Banks, Trusts, and Financial Institutions. 

Eight of Pentacles

Keywords: Apprenticeship. Higher Education. Philosophy. Working Towards a Professional Goal. 

Love & Sex: Breakthroughs. Learning Each Other’s Sexual Desires.. Working On a Relationship. 

Friendship: Friends Made Through School or Internships. 

Money: Money From Academic Gigs. Building Wealth. Grants. Fellowships. 

Career/Business/Work: Academia. Professorships. Internships. Apprenticeships. Mentors.

Nine of Pentacles

Keywords: Beauty. Isolation. Self-esteem. Healing Alone. Reaping the Fruit of Your Labors. 

Love & Sex: Relationships With People You Already Know. Masturbation. Friends To Lovers. 

Friendship: Lovers To Friends. Dinner Parties. Garden Parties. 

Money: Easy Money. Having More Than Enough Money. Abundance. 

Career/Business/Work: Gardener. Independent Wealth. Domestics. Home Offices.

Ten of Pentacles

Keywords: Inheritance. Elderhood. Wisdom. Maturity. Family. 

Love & Sex: Sex or Relationships With Older People. Solid Relationships. Families. 

Friendship: Very Well Established Friend Groups. Sou-Sou.  

Money: Money Gained Through Family or Inheritance. 

Career/Business/Work: Estate Planning. Wills. Working For Long-Established Organizations. 

Page of Pentacles

Keywords: Financial Support. Moving Toward Stability. 

Love & Sex: A New Prospect That Represents What You Ultimately Want in Love.

Friendship: Solid New Friends That Could Become Close Over Time.

Money: Small Amounts of Money From a Raise or a Small Promotion. 

Career/Business/Work: Financial Literacy and Education. Starting a Retirement Fund. 

Knight of Pentacles

Keywords: Money is Coming. Caught in a Financial or Career Whirlwind.  

Love & Sex: A Stable Prospect Arrives. A Reliable Lover. Reliable Orgasms, Quickly. 

Friendship: A Trustworthy Friend Arrives. News About a Close Friend. 

Money: Money Arrives Shortly. News About Money. Digital Banking (Venmo, PayPal, Cash App). Transfers.

Career/Business/Work: Bank Tellers. Truckers. Security Personnel. News About Income.

Queen of Pentacles

Keywords: Pregnancy. Growing Money. Watching Over Your Money. Patience. 

Love & Sex: A Good Spouse. Love That Creates Family Relationships. Submissives.

Friendship: Mom Friends. Friendships With People in Traditional Lifestyles. 

Money: Being a Good Steward of Your Own Money. Checking On Investments. 

Career/Business/Work: Stay At Home Parents. Daycare Workers. Teachers. On the Right Path.

King of Pentacles

Keywords: Financial Stability. Mastery in Career. Patriarchs and Matriarchs. 

Love & Sex: A Predictable, yet Stable Romantic Relationship. A Partner Suitable For Marriage.   

Friendship: Mature Friendships With People Who Are Established in Their Lives. 

Money: Money Made in Traditional Ways. Having Mature Insight On How To Make Money. 

Career/Business/Work: Bankers. Patrons of the Arts. Business People. Mastery in Career. 

[juniperquill]

about the author;

hello! I'm Anais; she/they, agnostic witch, tarot reader, non-binary lesbian, and aspiring author. I'm in my early thirties, I have auADHD and chronic pain, and I'm hopefully going back to college this fall to get my teaching degree.

I write mostly speculative fiction with a dash of horror; I also dabble in poetry on occasion, and I adore fanfiction. I also mostly write about sapphic/wlw main characters, though romance isn't always a focus in my stories.

I have two main works in progress with a couple more plots on the backburner that I hope to introduce later; find summaries below the cut, after places to find me elsewhere.

links;

▸ about ▸ wips ▸ twitter ▸ wattpad ▸ archive of our own ▸ spotify

works in progress;

Aphelion (working title)

When Maura Whelan was sixteen years old, her family moved to the Midwest and into a haunted house.

Now, almost fourteen years later, she's finally moved on from the house on Cranbrooke Street — and her childhood. She has a beautiful wife with a home of their own, and they're about to have a baby. Everything is perfect. Or, at least, it should be.

When Maura gets the news that her grandmother has passed away and she's featured in the will, she want to ignore it, and finally move on from her estranged family. But her wife and her therapist thinks that the closure will be good for her. So she goes, and her wife goes with her.

The family reunion is bad enough. But worse is her inheritance; the very house she is still running from. Maura must face her past to move on to the future, but the ghosts of the Cranbrooke Street house might not want to let her go.

Breathing Water (working title)

It's spring break, and Kristen would rather be at home. But her roommate has dragged her down south for a real vacation, and her therapist says it's an important step forward. Now, she's stuck in their Florida hotel for the next two weeks while her new friends drink and party.

Oh well. At least she got to see Disney World. Kris plans on spending the next week reading and avoiding getting a sunburn, but her plans are interrupted when she meets a strange woman in the hotel pool at midnight — a woman who turns out to have scales and a tail. A mermaid.

Melorei has been on land for less than a week, and it's been a nightmare. She's been nearly killed more times than she can count, and she can't get used to humans strange ways. But banished from the ocean, she has no choice.

Kris doesn't know what to make of the fact that mermaids are apparently real. But she agrees to help Melorei get used to life on land. They have a week before her vacation ends and she has to go back home to Michigan. But will she be willing to leave Melorei at the end of it?