#A MEMORY OF A MEMORY A MAN WHO BELONGS TO THE PAST <<< absolutely haunted concept of self

[wheretheresawyll]

'you can put distance between you and yesterday but you'll never leave it fully behind' father's words hard to argue with them florrick spoke true i'm a grand duke's son my story is one of two men the blade of frontiers a man hunting the fiends who prey on the weak and claw at the coast and wyll ravengard a memory of a memory a man who belongs to the past A MEMORY OF A MEMORY A MAN WHO BELONGS TO THE PAST

[bloodlust-1]

꒦꒷ Blood Bond ꒷꒦

Bound by blood, associated by marriage.

Gortash x fem Tav durge Explicit 18+

Chapter: 1

Summary: Bound by blood, associated by marriage. Dark Urge Tav, is not only chosen of Bhaal but also the chosen ruler of Baldur’s Gate. With Gortash as her hand-picked husband, Tav is forced to confront her troubled past. Memories long forgotten will resurface, tormenting her and driving a wedge between her and Gortash. As they engage in a dangerous dance of dominance, they struggle to strike a delicate balance between love and control. Join them on their tumultuous journey of discovering love in the most unconventional ways within one another.

No warnings. You know what you came here for.

"In Bhaal's name."

The last words whispered by Tav as she seized control of the world were not just words; they were a proclamation of her dominance. She reveled in her newfound power, relishing the fact that she was not only the chosen of Bhaal but also the chosen ruler of Baldur’s Gate.

Tav now had every ounce of power, every shred of strength, and every instance of manipulation at her command, all held within the grasp of her malevolent smile.

Enver Gortash, a man known for his unyielding control and unwavering allegiance to Bane, was not the most amiable choice, but he was undeniably the most competent. Together, they would co-rule with an iron fist. This was not just a decision; it was a declaration of absolute authority. The city belonged to her, and under her rule, it would bend to her every whim and desire.

A grand and opulent wedding was planned in Tav’s honor, but behind the facade of celebration lay a sinister motive. It was a calculated move on her part, a strategic maneuver in the treacherous game of politics.

She had no mercy about discarding countless suitors until she found one who could serve her ambitions without hesitation or remorse. Enver Gortash seemed to fit the position.

Nobles from distant lands were summoned to bear witness to the union between Tav and Enver, a marriage that would be sealed in blood and ambition rather than love. The event was destined to etch its name of history, for better or for worse.

Both tyrants anticipated that Tav would be revered as the lead figure over her king; after all, this was her kingdom, and she merely tolerated his presence within it.

The palace was adorned with deep crimson and bone-white decorations, creating an ominous atmosphere fit for a wedding. The dim light sparkled between the decorations’ blood-red crystals, casting eerie shadows across the grand hall.

Only the most influential figures of kingdoms attended, carefully selected by Tav. The dress code was a stark white for all guests, including Gortash, who stood at the altar, his dark eyes gleaming with anticipation as he awaited his malevolent queen to walk down the aisle.

As she made her entrance, the guests gasped in awe at Tav’s haunting beauty, her presence commanding the room like that of a malevolent goddess herself.

A tiefling she was, a creature of devil descends, her horns adorned with glittering red jewels that hung like stars, casting a sparkling reflection under the light. Her eyes burned with a demonic fire, a captivating beauty that was both terrifying and alluring.

The skin-tight dress was a deep, fiery red, with hints of white jewels that sparkled like ice, a mermaid-style gown that clung to her body like a lover’s embrace. Her aura asserted her dominance and power, a force that left all who beheld her in a state of awed terror.

As she walked gracefully down the aisle, her veil hung beautifully over her horns, that seemed to draw the very breath from the lungs of those who watched. The guests were not only scared of her, but hypnotized, their eyes seemingly unable to look away from the beauty and power that radiated from her very being.

This was Bhaal's chosen, a being of darkness and evil, and all knew that she would be a formidable partner in marriage, a bond that would be forever sealed in blood. Even Enver's eyes fell impressed at Tav's presence.

As she reached the end of the aisle, Gortash's sinister smile widened as he extended his hand, and she reciprocated. With a firm grip, he pulled her up the altar, their hands clasping together in a union that felt more like a shackle.

The priest cleared his throat, his eyes glinting with an unsettling tremble, “Man and woman are joined today in holy matrimony. Two bodies, one soul. A ceremony for the gods above and under to witness in the most joyous of days.” The words dripped with an ominous significance, sending shivers down the spines of the onlookers.

“Lady Tav and Lord Enver, may their blood twine together forever. Baldur Gate’s newest rulers. Bow in respect,” The crowd of guests then bowed their heads in respect, but it felt more like an act of submission.

Gortash could feel Tav’s dominance exuding over him. He knew that their power dynamic was destined to clash, yet he found himself bound to her in marriage. Despite what little Tav remembered of him, he calculated that this alliance would yield the greatest benefits for him. Tav, in turn, was nothing more than a strategic pawn in the game of matrimony, just as he was to her.

As Enver’s hands reached out to unveil Tav, she bowed slightly, allowing his hands to reveal the beauty concealed beneath the fabric. The sight of her unveiled stole his breath away, sending an unexcepted chill down his spine. It was on this very day, their wedding day, that Enver finally recognized just how pretty Tav was.

Tav clutched Enver’s icy hands tightly, feeling the cold seep into her own bones. As she gazed into his eyes, she realized just how real the wedding was.

For Tav, this was the closest they had ever been, and just by holding his hands sent a wave of uncomforting chills threw her.

Enver’s face bore a tapestry of scars, and Tav couldn’t help but recoil inwardly at the sight, in her mind she saw him as pathetic. Gortash’s visuals were not Tav's ideal, and this close proximity only accentuated the nature of his appearance.

His eyes were stained with dark circles, he was untamed, and a lack of grooming only added to Tav's lack of attraction for him.

Despite the ruggedness of his exterior, there was an undeniable allure in Enver’s physique. His body had a raw power and strength that Tav found most attractive. Yet, Tav found herself unimpressed still. At least he was smart in politics and ruling.

The priest held up the twisted blade of Bhaal. "By tradition of Bhaal, may their blood bond them." He handed the blade to Tav.

Tav reached out for the dagger and settled the blade on the opened palm of her hand; a sense of anticipation filled the air. With a wince, she drew the blade across her skin, feeling the sharp sting as it sliced open. Her blood trickled out.

She then handed the dagger to Gortash, who reciprocated the same actions with equal intensity. His frown mirrored Tav’s as he too felt the searing pain in his palm. The two of them stood facing each other, their eyes reflecting a mix of determination and seriousness.

Finally, Tav and Gortash joined hands, intertwining their fingers tightly. Their blood mixed together. In that moment, they became blood-bonded under marriage, their commitment sealed with pain.

Their eyes locked in an emotionless and piercing gaze, as if each was trying to unravel the other’s thoughts. Tav closed her eyes, feeling a surge of conflicting emotions coursing through her.

She leaned into Enver’s face, her heart pounding in her chest. The truth was, she did not want to look at his face as their lips joined, but she couldn’t resist the pull of the moment. As their lips met, a rush of sensations overwhelmed her.

Enver’s grip tightened around Tav’s waist, pulling her into a close-knit embrace that sent shivers down her spine. The touch was both gentle and possessive, igniting a fire within her that she struggled to contain.

A moment of excitement flowed through Tav’s veins as she did not expect Gortash to be so rough, yet there was an undeniable thrill in the unexpected intensity of his actions.

The crowd awed and clapped in submission as the couple joined lips. The main event was over and small sighs of relief could be heard ever too slightly within the crowd. The night was joyous as they celebrated their newly found marriage among the nobles. The facade they kept the night would last until the moment they lay in bed with each other.

~

Tav slowly unpinned the clips that held her luscious locks in place, allowing them to cascade down her back like a waterfall of silver. She stood before the mirror, her eyes locked on her reflection, and a smile spread across her face. She was finally in the palace, and she was ready to take her rightful place as the queen.

Gortash’s figure appeared in the reflection behind her. With an unfazed gaze, Tav reached for the brush and began to comb her hair, all the while acutely aware of his presence. “It’s not polite to hover, darling,” she uttered.

“It comes off rather desperate,” Tav added, her words laced with a hint of disdain as she addressed his reflection.

Gortash scoffed in a small chuckle. He too can play these games with Tav just as well as she could. His hands fell on her shoulders, it was cold and firm. His eyes stared into the mirror as he planted a soft trail of kisses down Tav's neck. "I was hoping you would join me in bed." His voice left his lips smoothly. Only hinting at one thing.

Tav drew in a deep breath, and with an uninterested tone, “We’ve already sealed our marriage in blood.”

"But not body and soul. Come - join me in bed, wife."

Tav playfully clicked her tongue in mock sorrow, “Has Bane not granted you the gift of your own hands?” Her expression held a mix of mischievousness and playfulness, “I want to make it clear that I will not be accompanying you with sex. If you touch me, I will not hesitate to become a widow on my wedding night.” Tav continued to brush her hair unfazed.

Gortash pulled back his hand, He spat back at Tav, "Wait until it's you, begging to be fucked." He took off his shirt and pants, only climbing into the bed in his underwear.

Tav couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Gortash’s annoyance. She gracefully undressed, revealing a striking red-laced bra and panties, complemented by a flowing laced robe with an elegant train that trailed behind her as she made her way to the bed.

Tav's full lips shined along with her big silver eyes. Her tail swayed gently as she gazed down at him with a soft expression. Gortash found Tav incredibly attractive, though the feeling was not reciprocated, at least not for now.

Tav deliberately averted her gaze from Enver’s face, instead focusing on his muscular physique. His chest and abdomen were covered with a trail of hair that gradually thickened as her eyes traveled downward. Her lips parted slightly, forming a soft gap as she remained silent, simply gazing at him.

His eyes caught her gaze as it trailed down his body, and he squinted at her reluctantly. “Please, indulge yourself if you like it so much,” he growled teasingly in a low mumble. Despite still being annoyed with her, he made an effort to maintain a conversation.

Tav climbed onto the bed, crawling on her hands and knees to accompany his side. Her body lay elegantly on the bed in her own softness. Tav's hand reached out for his face; His stubbled cheek prickled her skin and she dragged her nails gently down his face.

"Such a good husband, listening to your wife. Good choice." Tav laced sensual words, "A waste of space you were until now. My chosen, My- " Tav brought her face closer to his and purposely exhaled her heat against his lips teasingly, "husband." Tav pulled away suddenly and smiled tauntingly, "Good night."

She turned her back from him, taking her robe off before finding herself under the bedsheets. Tonight would be no intimacy between the couple. Only lust, manipulation, and taunts. Gortash knew Tav was a completely different woman, he had to start all over with her.

It only made him want her praise more.

Next part here

Any Thoughts? Comment 👇🏼 I love to engage!

[breakfastteatime]

What do you want to see in Jedi:Unknown title (jedi 3)? Could be gameplay, story, or anything related to the game.

In absolutely no order whatsoever, my Jedi 3 wishlist!

EVERYBODY LIVES. Do you HEAR ME, Respawn?!?!??! They get to live out their days on Tanalorr!!!!

While I'd love for Kata to not be Force-sensitive (Greez and BD will be outnumbered!), I don't think that'll happen, so I'd love it if they stuck with the theme so far that the Force doesn't belong solely to the Jedi, so Kata can choose her own path... maybe a more sisterly path... Or just a path that doesn't necessarily adhere to the Jedi way. Cal is so haunted by the Jedi's past (he spends most of Survivor exploring the Order's ruins after all), that I wonder if he'd even want to teach Kata how to be a Jedi of old.

Speaking of Kata, I really want her relationship with Cal to be more of a struggle. Regardless of her whole 'It changed Papa' line, she is still living with the man who murdered her father and the woman who helped him do it. I'm not interested in happy families because that's too easy.

There's a line in Survivor about how dangerous the leftover Raiders are, and we do see them fighting alongside the Brood, sooooo RAIDERS BROOD TEAM UP! And a final showdown with Sorc Tormo because Cal deserves to put an end to his nonsense once and for all.

Cal's ongoing struggle with the darkness. I don't want that to be the main focus of the game, but I want to see him finding his own way through. I know, I know, Cere told him to lead 'her' through the darkness, but how about he just takes five to check in on his own wellbeing?!

More psychometry too, especially now we know Cal can turn people's memories against them. Oh, and he can walk through someone's dreams because of his psychometry. I love how Survivor hinges on it at multiple points.

Logically, there has to be some kind of existential threat to Tanalorr or the Hidden Path in the next game... but not the kind that results in Cal sacrificing himself. Please, just ONCE, can we get a happy ending?!? Cal dying would make the other two games feel so pointless and empty.

No connections to anything Disney+ related because none of it is very good. YEAH, I SAID IT. Also, if you had Obi-Wan Kenobi showing up, he's really gonna overshadow Cal in his own damn game. Vader gets away with it because he's used really sparingly, but you start busting out Kenobis or Solos, we're gonna have a problem (or I am anyway).

A flashback in which Cere and Cal share a hug. I can't believe Survivor denied us T_T

Cal reaching a master's level of power in combat. They did such a good job developing his abilities in Survivor, so I'm sure they'll smash it in the next game too. What I'm saying is perfect bolt reflection with EVERY lightsaber, not just the double-bladed.

THE ZEFFO RETURN!!!! Okay, no, maybe not...

Greez gets to start his Pyloon's franchise.

No, seriously, Nightsister Kata is more interesting to me than Jedi Kata, so maybe Merrin gets to play the mentor (not happening, I know... SIGH)

Please please please don't let Cal's default clothing be more traditional. I don't like him in robes because they seem so at odd with his lifestyle and how athletic he is.

The son of the son of Oggdo Boggdo.

There's probably more but that's about everything I can think about right now. Thanks for the Ask!

[sevensdeadly-if]

So it’s me.

Corn chip paper clip chihuahua anon.

And it turns out there was an elusive third option called multitasking, which I should’ve realized was possible because I am too adhd.

So honestly, first run belongs to Zarola, always, it’s the law™️ (then Seraphina, then Nero, he covered his face in embarrassment and I have to make him do it again)

And honestly everytime she did something, my corn chip activated like a secret government microchip. She deserves to get hand fed but only after mc chomps on her a bit (a reward for dealing with my mc’s absolutely uncultured ass). The orange eye glow of past mc in the memories and the way Zarola very blatantly told Seraphina to back off when she was flirting in combination with a past react where you told us that Zarola has only really had flings is making me froth at the mouth at the possible implications (maybe I need to see if I'm up to date on my vaccinations, hmm…).

As for the our resident tinker bells:

Titania is such a spoiled brat/mean girl that I was honestly cackling, everytime Mab lost her cool (heh) I was cheering her on, I absolutely believe they should put them in a cage match. She gives the vibes of someone who is deeply insecure because she can’t figure out how to learn from failure, instead she’s just kind of haunted by it, which I mean sucks to experience, but couldn’t have happened to a better person, hah! Times where perfectionism and narcissism stall any attempt at character growth. she's over here making deal to avenge her own pride (which she obviously is starting to think may not have been the best idea) while also ignoring the fact that she's also actively sacrificing it to achieve whatever nebulous goal she has.

Oberon honestly aged me. Bruh, over here acting like he’s not legally obligated to grey morals and loop holes, over here sounding like a hall monitor, following the rules. Let Mab fighhhhttttt. Don’t get me wrong, not a bad character, and I actually think this makes him a stronger character, but what a poopy pants. He gives old money, distant dad, the world isn’t what it used to be vibes. Someone fetch this man a real paper newspaper and pretend the internet never came into existence, stat. Or better yet, someone clear his schedule for the day and send him to his rich country club dog park.

Morrigan was… interesting. I say this because who’s to know who this tricker really is. Like, their personality is mostly reactionary, they like to provoke people and it’s clear. I like that certain truths seem to float just under that surface, they seem to have true affection for Mab, rather than a desire to keep the peace, and they don’t so much hide their attempts to ground her so much so that they seem to almost disguise them with a different truth, that they like strong personalities. It makes an interesting contrast to the moment when Oberon basically tells Titania to shut it. If not affection, Morrigan seems to actually have quite a bit of respect for Mab. I kind of ship them tbh, but that might just be because they’ve only really given her true engagement that wasn’t really inflammatory in some way or another. Everyone else kind of seems to just get a running commentary, almost small talk about of ribbing.

Mab honestly probably my favorite of these four. She gives haughty but she does it well, like she earned that. I like this step away from subtle or slippery speech, she doesn’t beat around the bush and as Winter I think it’s well suited. She seems to be someone who will let you know more often than not where you stand with her, and it creates a very delicious contrast with the rest of the court. And her not seeming to ever brush Morrigan’s touch off absolutely fed my delusions (they should smooch, loopy rogue x ice queen is an immaculate pairing for a reason). I also like for all her refined stiffness, she seems to have the most hair trigger temper, which feels like another winter manifestation that is feeding me (it’s also one of the things feeding my Mab x Morri ship. Like she’s wild, and Morrigan has to like that, it’d be impossible. Also they call her Mabby and she doesn’t even blink, doesn’t even seem to get irritated if I’m remembering correctly. Im honestly about to be their wingperson at this rate).

🤣I absolutely love everything about this message! I’m glad you’re enjoying it so much! I hope you enjoy the future characters as well! I will say I don’t remember a corn chip anon you might have to refresh my memory!

[winterfable]

Dionisio, Cristo y Orfeo

“Beauty and the Beast” is a fairy tale with the quality of a wild flower, appearing so unexpectedly and creating in us such a natural sense of wonder that we do not notice for the moment that it belongs to a definite class, genus, and species of plant. The kind of mystery inherent in such a story is given a universal application not only in a larger historical myth, but also in the rituals whereby the myth is expressed or from which it may be derived.

The type of ritual and myth appropriately expressing this type of psychological experience s exemplified in the Greco-Roman religion of Dionysus, and in its successor, the religion of Orpheus. Both of these religions provided a significant initiation of the type known as “mysteries.” They brought forth symbols associated with a god-man of androgynous character who was supposed to have an intimate understanding of the animal or plant world and to be the master of initiation into their secrets.

The Dionysiac religion contained orgiastic rites that implied the need for an initiate to abandon himself to his animal nature and thereby experience the full fertilizing power of the Earth Mother. The initiating agent for this rite of passage in the Dionysiac ritual was wine. It was supposed to produce the symbolic lowering of consciousness necessary to introduce the novice into the closely guarded secrets of nature, whose essence was expressed by a symbol of erotic fulfillment: the god Dionysus joined with Ariadne, his consort, in a sacred marriage ceremony.

In time the rites of Dionysus lost their emotive religious power. There emerged an almost oriental longing for liberation from their exclusive preoccupation with the purely natural symbols of life and love. The Dionysiac religion, shifting constantly from spiritual to physical and back again, perhaps proved too wild and turbulent for some more ascetic souls. These came to experience their religious ecstasies inwardly, in the worship of Orpheus.

Orpheus was probably a real man, a singer, prophet, and teacher, who was martyred and whose tomb became a shrine. No wonder the early Christian church saw in Orpheus the prototype of Christ. Both religions brought to the late Hellenistic world the promise of a future divine life. Because they were men. yet also mediators of the divine, for the multitudes of the dying Grecian culture in the days of the Roman Empire they held the longed-for hope of a future life.

There was, however, one important difference between the religion of Orpheus and the religion of Christ. Though sublimated into a mystical form, the Orphic mysteries kept alive the old Dionysiac religion. The spiritual impetus came from a demi-god. in whom was preserved the most significant quality of a religion rooted in the art of agriculture. That quality was the old pattern of the fertility gods who came only for the season in other words, the eternally recurrent cycle of birth, growth, fullness, and decay.

Christianity, on the other hand, dispelled the mysteries. Christ was the product and reformer of a patriarchal, nomadic, pastoral religion, whose prophets represented their Messiah as a being of absolutely divine origin. The Son of Man, though born of a human virgin, had his beginning in heaven, whence he came in an act of God’s incarnation on man. After his death, he returned to heaven but returned once and for all. to reign on the right hand of God until the Second Coming “when the dead shall arise."

Of course, the asceticism of early Christianity did not last. The memory of the cyclic mysteries haunted its followers to the extent that the Church eventually had to incorporate many practices from the pagan past into its rituals. The most meaningful of these may be found in the old records of what was done on Holy Saturday and Easter Sunday in celebration of the resurrection of Christ the baptismal service that the medieval church made into a suitable and deeply meaningful initiation rite. But that ritual has scarcely survived into modern times, and it is completely absent in Protestantism.

The ritual that has survived much better, and that still contains the meaning of a central initiation mystery for the devout, is the Catholic practice of the elevation of the chalice. It has been described by Dr. Jung in his “Transformation Symbolism in the Mass ':

"The lifting up of the chalice in the air prepares the spiritualization... of the wine. This is confirmed by the invocation to the Holy Ghost that immediately follows... The invocation serves to infuse the wine with holy spirit, for it is the Holy Ghost who begets, fulfills, and transforms. ... After the elevation, the chalice was, in former times, set down to the right of the Host, to correspond with the blood that flowed from the right side of Christ."

The ritual of communion is everywhere the same, whether it is expressed by drinking of the cup of Dionysus or of the holy Christian cha[1]lice; but the level of awareness each brings to the individual participant is different. The Dionysiac participant looks back to the origin of things, to the "storm-birth" of the god who is blasted from the resistant womb of Mother Earth. In the frescoes of the Villa de Misteri in Pompeii, the enacted rite evoked the god as a mask of terror reflected in the cup of Dionysus offered by the priest to the initiate. Later we find the winnowing basket, with its precious fruits of the earth, and the phallus as creative symbols of the god's manifestation as the principle of breeding and growth.

In contrast to this backward look, with its central focus on nature's eternal cycle of birth and death, the Christian mystery points forward to the initiate's ultimate hope of union with a transcendent god. Mother Nature, with all her beautiful seasonal changes, has been left behind, and the central figure of Christianity offers spiritual certainty, for he is the Son of God in heaven.

Yet the two somehow fuse in the figure of Orpheus, the god who remembers Dionysus but looks forward to Christ. The psychological sense of this intermediate figure has been described by the Swiss author Linda Fierz-David, in her interpretation of the Orphic rite pictured in the Villa de Misteri:

“Orpheus taught while he sang and played the lyre, and his singing was so powerful that it mastered all nature; when he sang to his lyre the birds flew about him, the fish left the water and sprang to him. The wind and the sea became still, the rivers flowed upward toward him. It did not snow and there was no hail. Trees and the very stones followed after Orpheus; tiger and lion lay down near him next to the sheep, and the wolves next to the stag and the roe. Now what does this mean? It surely means that through a divine insight into the meaning of natural events . . . nature's happenings become harmoniously ordered from within. Everything becomes light and all creatures appeased when the mediator, in the act of worshiping, represents the light of nature. Orpheus is an embodiment of devotion and piety; he symbolizes the religious attitude that solves all conflicts, since thereby the whole soul is turned toward that which lies on the other side of all conflict. ... And as he does this, he is truly Orpheus; that is, a good shepherd, his primitive embodiment. ..."

Both as good shepherd and as mediator, Orpheus strikes the balance between the Dionysiac religion and the Christian religion, since we find both Dionysus and Christ in similar roles, though, as I have said, differently oriented as to time and direction in space one a cyclic religion of the nether world, the other heavenly and eschatological, or final. This series of initiatory events, drawn from the context of religious history, is repeated endlessly and with practically every conceivable individual twist of meaning in the dreams and fantasies of modern people.

[...]

--Joseph Henderson en "man and his symbols"

[avatar-jakara]

Bello Kruxis: The Council of War Gods Chapter 1

Red clots stratified the heavens and blotted the unceasingly deteriorating Moon hanging for dear life. Other eldritch creatures haunted every orifice of the dying Axius. Its light, which once illuminated this grave world, now sustained the monstrously greedy beings who majorly populated Axius' carcass. Light could no longer shine, so it seeped out from inflamed gashes in the land’s surface and out into the suffocating darkness.

Flames crept and prowled all throughout the land that belonged to the terrors dominating the pitiful mortals forced to fight for their lives. It was chaos, and there was no hope of escape. The inveterate and circumscribing darkness manifested perpetual nightmares that pervaded the minds of the Gods' enfeebled, flesh-soaked game.

When he was mortal, Greed had thought that the world was stitched with the remains of infinite beings and their sorry miseries. He now decided that his past observations were both false and true. The Gods absolutely permeated every stitch of this world. Their veins deepened the sky, their aches were the howls in the winds, and their excrements washed the lands. Tragedy sustained the inhabitants of this place where evils and horrors were lavishly apportioned. Those who fed off fear feasted, and all others were swallowed by it.

Though, Greed now understood a major flaw in his logic. He forgave his then ignorant, mortal mind. Back then, his thoughts were clouded by fear, and he could only think of his survival. The man had not realized that the entirety of the trials took place on the God Axius. It could not die, so it had simply given in to the other Gods who gnawed on its flesh which once glowed from the fires within it.

The world was not only made by Gods, but they were also the land itself.

The Gods eventually grew tired of eating and failing to kill one another. So, they turned their sights to the mortals. The binge eating became manic and unstoppable, eventually becoming a game.

What mortals went through during the Trials of D'Rak'ne required strength, cunning, speed, and wit. Some unfathomable time ago, the Gods had begun successively gathering mortals to complete several trials. Was it entertainment? As the current authority of the trials, Greed concluded that Axius was simply the Gods' hunting ground.

As a man, Greed had hidden away in folds of flesh from beasts killed with his own hands. Biding his time, he would patiently wait until the eldritch beasts had had their fill and had moved on to the next eating ground. There was no way to successfully track time since the Moon began dying, so he would never know how long he waited. He could have sat underneath the rotting carcasses for weeks, waning in and out of consciousness.

Once the Gods had deserted the feeding ground, the man would sneak onto the abandoned pile of flesh and sustain himself with the leftovers of the Gods' meal.

Running and hiding were not the worst of the trials. Determination and zeal were tools that Greed had used to avoid the awful cruelties that most mortals suffered. Although young, he had been adaptive and perceptive. He may have struggled, but he was proud to be alive each time he came back to a conscious state.

True despair came when the beast closed in on its prey. That moment that he had seen countless times now, was etched into his memories. What an ecstasy of helplessness.

The beasts and Gods would grab any screaming human and before they have the chance to cry, the mortals' eyes were torn from their sockets. The cruel being smiles at its catch in satisfaction of the appetizer. It then digs in for more. Now it tears a chunk of shoulder. Then the skull, the knees, a slice of the neck, and a helping of a hand. The screams only end when the man chokes on his own blood as it rushes from as many gaps of flesh as the deity can create. The monster becomes so carried away at portioning its meal that it fails to ever notice the exact moment when the pitiful human dies. It does not truly matter that he dies. No, it only matters that he lived and that his life was now stolen from him.

The seizing of life, the control of it, that was where power lied hidden. Thus, power was the most heavenly meal in this grim world.

When only one mortal remained, they would be surrounded by the monstrous Gods that had haunted them for sport throughout the trials. The ritual changed every time Greed had witnessed it. After he had survived the trials, Greed was certain that he would finally be eaten. The Gods were just as cruel as the world they had built.

The eldritch Gods' forms rose high into the heavens. A large tentacle shape snapped out and suddenly the mortal was airborne. He meant to quickly capture his bearings but instead his stomach relieved itself of its contents.

More tentacles smothered his person and washed him in the Gods' filthy saliva. He felt an excruciating fire rising within himself. When his eyes turned inward from shock, the man had expected to see his own melting flesh. Yet, he had only seen darkness.

So that's what that is, he thought. The pain was only another cruel nightmare. What was one more to add to the annals of his horror? He would allow the darkness to wreck, suffocate, and maim him as it pleased. This despair too would disappear upon the next moment of consciousness just like all the others.

[weltenwxndler-archive]

those weapons seemed so oddly familiar. they were of high quality, but even so. ren couldn't put his finger on it, but maybe that was just yingxing. memories he could neither sort nor understand and that ghosted through his head in a hazy daze. even with kafka taking care of his mara, it was a constant battle inside of him for clarity. he knew yingxing was his past, yet he had assumed a different name and it wasn't like his body was much different, but the dark unruly locks were enough to distinguish in between them, he.. supposed. the swordsman could barely take his eyes until they landed on a particular set of swords.

right, the witch. that lady who tormented him. not just him, yingxing, too. her words haunted him late at night and sometimes---even though he knew particularly well--he wondered if her words were the only reason why he was chasing that reincarnation through space like cat and mouse. he always ended up impaled on a spear though and each time he questioned his motivations again. she was deeper inside of his head than anyone else.

but what did the student have to think when his teacher started a fight against him? he could remember so much, but found it hard to piece it altogether. in time it was all lost to the mara again and kafka would need to quell it all over again and then... he'd have to put himself together from the ground again.

"you let me out, so what would you do to me now?" ren raised an eyebrow, watching jingyuan sort through his papers. oh, right he sat down on his desk as if he belonged on top of it. but it only came to him naturally... the man was suddenly highly aware of how close jingyuan was when the general reached around him. his hand automatically reached out to meet the other's chest, head tilted. "would you also impale me on your spear?" having his hand withdraw, ren looked to the side, wondering why the tips of his ears felt oddly warm. why did he even reach out in the first place? "i won't die." he did not miss that weirdly sad smile, but felt no need to comment on it. what was he even going to say? he had no idea what went through the other's mind, what those golden hues seemed to be hiding. probably something about their past that ren could not fully understand, but he followed jingyuan anyways, sticking close to him like glue even the hand was oddly naturally accepted by the brooding man, bloodshot orbs giving the general a look of... uncertainty.

"the moon?" ren looked up when they went out into the garden, big orbs looking around almost curiously but in the end his eyes were stuck on the lion again, admiring his features, how absolutely glorious he looked in the dim light of the moon. "and they call me a sinner," he murmured, eyes rolling in their sockets for how ridiculous he felt. such attraction was certainly unneeded. jingyuan was an arbiter general, not to be an object of his mara struck lust.

Jing Yuan’s room has been designated to fit his position. It was not an accommodation that he requested himself. Even the place once belonged to the late Teng Xiao, but it fits very well with the grand museum that adorns his walls. Weapons of all kinds are all around his shelves and walls, displayed for anyone to see. They are all of high quality, but the most interesting part is that every one of them shares the same creator. The furniture once belonged to Baiheng, architecture more similar to the Yaoqing than the Luofu. Ah, but one must be an expertise in Xianzhou building to know the fine details.

Even a few of Jingliu swords are stored in a separate place, still in sight of anyone that enters said particular room.

“Bold,” Jing Yuan repeats, savoring the word on his lips. His smile is a lopsided one, much more like a smirk than that pretending-to-be-innocent thing he always wears. “For not believing a criminal would pick up the invitation of an Arbiter General of the Hunt? Even if you were not in the IPC wanted list, for the Xianzhou people, you are still a criminal.” Jing Yuan then rises from his seat, calmly placing his papers in order on the table. He doesn’t make a face, doesn’t even look bothered, as he moves around to clean a bit of the mess Ren just made. Then, approaching Ren again, Jing Yuan sneaks a hand around Ren’s waist— but doesn’t touch, merely using the angle to land a stack of paper over the table. “Better remember where you are, Hunter.”

If Ren is set in calling him with such an unfeeling title, Jing Yuan can accept. Kafka must have removed Ren’s memories again, and so, Jing Yuan no longer is someone important enough for Ren to remember. He’s no more Ren’s Yuan. He’s… just the Arbiter General. Jing Yuan’s smile gets a hint of sadness acceptance as he pulls away, longing mingling into the gold of his eyes as he watches Ren sitting so pretty on his table (and some documents, important ones, but ones that Jing Yuan would gratefully trade place with right about now). His arm outstretches and his hand is offered to the black haired, very gentlemanly given their statuses. “Do come along, then. I will have someone serve us tea in the garden. The moon is too beautiful tonight to not be admired.”

[ragingbookdragon]

The Start of Something Great

Outlaws x Tamaranean!Reader

Word Count: 2.5K Warnings: Explicit Language, Mentions of Violence and Past Abuse

Author's Note: So this is technically the start of all those One-Shots with the T!Reader. In order, they are the one you're reading right now, then this one, this one, and this one. Enjoy! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

She watched the group socialize from her position in the corner; she’d never been out and open like Kori was. She’d always preferred to watch in silence, to observe…the years she spent captive, formed her mindset of watching and waiting for moments of weakness. Speaking of Kori, she watched her step into the room with Dick; their hands tightly clasped together.

Fighting a laugh, she glanced out the window, turning her attention to the waves as they crashed against the rocks below the tower. She wondered why she was here. She wasn’t a part of the Titans…not really. Her animosity towards leniency on justice put her at odds with just about everyone within the group, and especially the Justice League. Well, except for Diana; the Amazon was the only one who truly understood her reasoning.

But as for letting criminals go free? It didn’t happen. Rarely ever, did (Y/N) allow a criminal to walk away from her, and her mind drifted to the memory of her first mission with the Titans.

***

She stepped out of the smoldering hole in the warehouse wall and strode to the criminal crawling from her. Placing her foot square between his pelvis and spine, she stepped down with all her strength and listened to his spine crack under the strain. He let out a bloodcurdling scream and she rolled him over with her foot, glaring down at him, watching as he begged.

“Please!”

A white hot star-bolt formed in her hand and she raised it, speaking coldly. “The women you assaulted and killed did not want to die either.”

The man began to cry as she flung the bolt, watching his body incinerate, and turn to ash; she turned and began walking away, ignoring the concerned look from her sister, and the angry looks from her teammates.

They hadn’t even gotten five feet into the tower when Dick was on her like a beast to a fresh kill. “What the hell was that, (Y/N)?”

She glowered, warning him darkly, “Watch how you speak to me, Richard. I am not Kori. And you should believe me when I tell you that what I feel for you is nothing short of loathing. And loathing is quick to turn deadly should I be pushed.” (Y/N) turned to leave when he moved in front of her again.

“It doesn’t matter what you feel! You owe us an explanation!” He shot back.

She barked a cold laugh. “I owe you nothing, least of all an explanation.”

“You murdered him!”

(Y/N) narrowed her gaze. “And the point you are trying to make is?”

Dick threw his hands into the air. “It was wrong!”

“Was what he did to those innocent women also wrong?” she countered and he all but recoiled.

“Of course! But that doesn’t—”

“But nothing. He was a despicable criminal, and he deserved to die for his crimes.” (Y/N) turned around and began walking to the door.

“We aren’t executioners, Kiyahnd’r.” Dick admonished.

She froze in her spot and glanced over her shoulder, her eyes frosty towards them. “Perhaps not you, Richard. But you were not raped and beaten repeatedly as a young child.” Her gaze narrowed. “My justice is absolute in the face people who do the same thing that was done to me and my sisters. Never forget that.”

***

(Y/N) blinked, dragging herself from the memory; it hadn’t been long after that, that she found herself tangled in combat with the Justice League. Apparently, she had held out against them far longer than anyone ever had, managing to overpower The Flash and Martian Manhunter. She had almost defeated Batman when Wonder Woman and Superman intervened, subduing her. That was a fun day for (Y/N), and she remembered how Batman had made her concede killing people…mostly anyway.

The years had been decent to her and she came to terms with her life, even branching out into modeling like Kori did. They ruled the runways. But the “lone wolf” style she’d developed while in captivity still ruled her, and she found it increasingly hard to keep continuing the team. They had all gathered in the room, and she rose from her seat.

Immediately, the talking stopped as everyone turned to stare at her; Dick smiled at her from his seat, Kori perched herself across his thighs. “You alright, (Y/N)?” She met his eyes before moving to the table and setting down a small metal piece. It clinked and their eyes moved to it, as Dick questioned, “What’s that?”

“You know what it is, Richard.”

He glanced over, looking at the item, and took in the realization of what it was. “Your key to the tower?”

(Y/N) nodded. “As of now, I formally relinquish my role as a Titan.” Ignoring the shocked gasps and stares, she continued. “I will be leaving at dusk.” (Y/N) made her way to the door. “Thank you…and goodbye.” She didn’t wait for their replies, moving to her bedroom.

She closed the door and sat beside the window, occasionally glancing at her packed bag. (Y/N) had money saved up over the years, from odd jobs to her professional modeling career worldwide and she still had big money rolling into her bank account from other various sources. She would be alright; she just needed to find a place to live on her own and thrive.

A knock tore her from her thoughts, and she turned to the door. “Enter.” In walked Kori and Dick, and she sighed knowingly. “Delivering the parting words?”

“Kiyahnd’r…are you sure you want to leave?”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes. “Very.”

They sat down on her bed, a couple feet away, and Dick leaned forward. “You don’t have to leave, (Y/N).”

“I am aware,” she noted. “but this is something that I want to do.”

“Why Kiyahnd’r?”

(Y/N)’s eyes flitted to Kori. “Because this is not where I belong.”

“Don’t say that, (Y/N). You—”

She raised a hand. “Do not try and cushion the blow, Richard.” She rose and stared out the window. “It has been plain to see all these years that you all will never trust me.” (Y/N) glanced at Dick. “Or accept me onto your team.”

Dick went silent, and Kori nudged him. “Say something.”

“What do you want me to say? She’s kinda right.”

“Dick!”

(Y/N) stopped Kori. “Do not be angry at him, Koriand’r. Richard is right.” She paused. “I am not you Koriand’r…I allow my past to define how I live my life.” Her eyes moved to her sister’s, and a hint of sorrow crossed her tone. “I cannot let go of our pasts. It will haunt me forever, and I need to find my own path…away from this place.”

The two of them went silent, then Dick said, “If you don’t have anywhere to go…Jason’s been in need of a partner lately.”

(Y/N) scoffed. “That moronic imbecile? Certainly not.”

Dick snickered as Kori sighed. “Jason is not stupid, sister.”

“Truly? There have been a few times where he has fooled me.”

Kori sighed again, as Dick rose from the bed, moving to (Y/N). “Look…I know you think I don’t like you—”

“You do not like me.”

Dick rolled his eyes and corrected, “Wrong, Miss Know-It-All. I happen to like you very much. In fact—”

(Y/N) cut him off, turning to Kori. “Be cautious sister, you apparently have competition for Richard’s affections.” Kori and (Y/N) giggled as Dick raised his hands in exasperation.

He marched to the door with them still raised. “I give up! I came in here to wish you goodbye and good luck, and this is what I receive!” He was almost out the door when (Y/N) pulled him back, spinning him around to pull him in for a brief but heartfelt hug.

She pulled away and glanced at him. “For all you have done for me…and for all the times you have tried to help me…thank you, Richard.”

He grinned up at her and squeezed her round her middle. “See…you love me after all.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes and picked up her bags. “Do not push it Dick. You still anger me.”

“You aren’t the first person to tell me that.” Dick shrugged.

She snorted and moved to the door, stopping and glancing at them. “And I most certainly will not be the last.”

***

The flight to Gotham City was quiet, and she remembered the first time she arrived.

***

The portal opened and she fell through it, still fighting off the Psions who followed her. They crash-landed into a building, and the rubble was lit up like the sun as she threw star-bolts at them. The fighting lasted for a few minutes, and in the end, she stood victorious among the scattered body parts. Her mind raced as she tried to remember where her sister had gone, and the next thing she realized, a Psion was on her back.

She cursed in her native tongue as it clawed at her, and gathered energy into her palm to kill it when it flew off her, landing a good distance away. She rolled to her side and coughed; a hand appeared in her vision, and she looked up to see a man in black standing over her.

His lips moved, and she knew words were coming out, but it sounded like gibberish. The hand extended towards her more, and she took it, allowing him to help her stand. He kept speaking and she rolled her eyes, reaching out and grabbing his face; she brought their lips together, and words and languages flowed through her mind.

She released him and he simply gaped at her, too stunned to move; she snorted. “Apologies. My race learns by psychophysically connecting with one another. The most effective way is through oral contact.”

“…You just learned to speak English from kissing me?”

She nodded. “Is that what you call it? English? What a strange name it is.” The corner of his mouth rose, and she stood up straight. “I am Kiyahnd’r of…well…it does not matter.” She paused. “My name is Kiyahnd’r.”

He nodded. “I’m Batman.”

***

(Y/N) felt the corners of her mouth raise at the memory; it had been a very long time since she’d thought about it, and it reminded her of how lucky she’d been to learn the languages from Bruce. Kori only received a small amount from Dick; (Y/N) had received twenty-three different dialects, all fluently. The fleeting memories lasted only so long, and the plane began to ascend, signaling her arrival.

She stepped off of the plane and made her way to the baggage claim, picking up her bag and moving to the doors when she saw a familiar man. (Y/N) stared as he walked towards her.

He stopped in front of her and smirked. “Need a ride, doll?”

She rolled her eyes. “Dick called you then.”

“Called a few hours ago saying you were leaving the Titans and coming to find me and Roy.”

(Y/N) scoffed. “I was coming to Gotham. I was not coming to see the both of you.” She glared at him.

“Sticks and stones, (Y/N).”

“Go crawl into a bush, Jason.”

His hand curled around the handle of her suitcase and he lifted it, nodding his head to the door. “Car’s outside.” Jason moved forward, and (Y/N) was left with no choice but to follow him. She watched as he put her suitcase in the trunk, then turned to her. “You hungry?”

“Are you going to cook?”

Jason paused as he was getting in the driver’s door; he looked at her, an eyebrow raised. “Do you want me to cook?”

She moved to sit in the passenger seat. “So long as you make something good.”

He grinned as he sat in the seat, starting the car. “I always make good food.”

(Y/N) let out a ‘hmpf’. “We shall see.”

***

The drive to his apartment was slow and when they arrived, the sun was setting low beyond the skyline. They climbed the stairs and entered his apartment; (Y/N) hummed. “I wasn’t sure that your apartment would be as tidy as it is. It is rather shocking.”

Jason grunted as he moved into the kitchen, pulling out pans from the cabinets. “Sorry doll, the role of messy Robin is Tim.” He paused and glanced at her. “And sometimes, Dick…but mostly Timmy.”

(Y/N) snorted and motioned to her bag. “Where should I put my things?”

Jason nodded down the hallway. “Second door on your right. I changed the sheets and cleaned it, so you should be happy.”

She said nothing and walked to the bedroom. It was a little dull for her tastes, but nothing she couldn’t fix with a trip to the department store and IKEA. She walked back out and sat at the bar, watching Jason cook for them. When he was finished, they sat out on the balcony sharing a bottle of wine.

(Y/N) swallowed it, gagging, “Earth wine is disgusting.”

“Wine’s a peculiar taste,” he snorted, taking a sip. “You have to get used to it.”

She grunted and replied, “I do not want to be used to it. It tastes like…I do not even know what it tastes like. All I know is that it is disgusting.”

“You’re just a Debbie-Downer, aren’t you, (Y/N)?”

“I do not know what that is but I can tell it is not positive.”

“Nevermind.” Jason chuckled and they lapsed into a comfortable silence, eating their dinner, and when they were finished, they climbed to the roof and watched the stars; Jason leaned over. “So, why did you leave the Titans?”

(Y/N) sighed quietly, murmuring, “I did not want to be within their company any longer.”

He eyed her. “And?”

“And I did not want to be ostracized anymore.” (Y/N) inhaled. “I am not Kori. She was accepted easily within the Titans because she is kind and sweet. But I? No…I was never one to be accepted. My attitude and stance on how I deal with criminals was not something the Titans were too keen on keeping.”

Jason listened silently, then tipped his head. “Dick told you to come find me then?”

She shrugged. “More or less.” (Y/N) glanced at him. “I assume he had an inkling that because we are so similar in our mindsets on criminals that we would get along and be able to work together.”

“Red Hood, Arsenal, and Supernova,” Jason grinned. “It’s got a great ring to it.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes. “I regret this decision already.”

He scooted closer and slung an arm around her shoulders, ignoring the way she growled low in her throat. “Don’t be like that, doll…we’re gonna make a kick-ass team.”

(Y/N) opened her mouth to retort when a light shone in the sky; she glanced at Jason, tipping her head to it. “Well…let us go and show what a team we will make.” She rose, holding out a hand. “Shall we, Red Hood?”

Jason glanced at her hand before taking it, smirking. “Hell yeah.”

[yukiazura]

The Commander

Cale’s akumatized form is KRS wearing the commander attire, just saying

tbh I think Cale would never be akumatized because he’s a pro at bottling up his emotions, but If he gets akumatized, he would absolutely be terrifying

Not only would they be down a hero but the akuma was smart as heck, knowing how think and how they move, the Commander would have strategies ready to smack them from behind

They would be fighting Ladybug.

but why would Cale get akumatized? 

Maybe he was upset at not being believed in, Maybe he was getting frustrated because of the things that were preventing him from getting his slacker life, Maybe because he suddenly found his mother’s journal and found himself reminiscing of the past 

It was an accident.

No matter how desperate he’d been, Deruth would never go after his own family, he’d lost connection with the butterfly when his daughter had almost caught him in the act

but Lily had suddenly barged in, asking to spend time with him, Deruth would never deny his children anything 

There was a knock on the door, "Dad? Can we, could we eat dinner together?" there was no answer he tries again  "Dad?" knock knock knock The door still doesn't open,  He heard his father "I'm sorry Cale, I'm busy right now" Cale bits his lips, Dad sounded exhausted, maybe... he should wait for him to feel a little better

That Akuma must have wandered off to find a target without his guiding, and that unlucky person just happens to be Cale who was too occupied with his thoughts to notice

And that's how The Commander came to be.

If you’re wondering what was written in the books in the drawing

Mother was like fire, shining so brightly and warming everyone's heart  "Deruth out son is too cute" she smiles and kisses him lovingly, Deruth gave them an adoring look  "We will need to protect him from both boys and girls when he's older" Cale pouted as he clung to his mother like a koala "I'm not cute" Jour laughs, a warm gentle sound as she holds Cale dearly  A dying ember.  Mom was laying on the bed, these days she  was too weak to move from her bed, and yet her smile was still the same, Mom caressed his cheek while Dad was holding her other hand  "Always remember I love you both"  Her hand fell, and yet, that smile remained the same Father cries rang through the room "No, no, Jour please" Cale held her hands with glistening eyes, Mom's hand was cold The light was snuffed out (Far too son, Far too sudden) leaving them in the darkness where their heart remains cold 

 (She's gone, Cale misses her)  Cale hates the color black, it was such a dull color.  it was the shadows that lingered in the hallways of their home or it could just be his father wandering around with a lost look on his face, haunted by the memories of what he'd lost...  (Cale had lost her too, however, it felt like he lost both of them)  They were still wearing mourning clothes and he was sick of the dark color 

 Back then when Cale had still been young, days, when Father had been too busy with work and Mom had been too tired to move from her bed (even then, there had been signs that he knows was off but couldn't understand why)  Ron was the one to take care of him during those times ever since he was a baby, and when Mom had passed away and father was gone more often than not, Ron was the one to take a step and taken care of him and continues to do so when he became a man that acted like a trash  Beacrox had been there too, like a cool older brother, taking care of him, playing with him, and patiently answering any questions he asked  Though, Cale knew they were just doing so because they were paid to be nice to him 

 Cale Henituse always seems to stand out anywhere he goes, with fiery red locks that he inherited from his late mother.  His father has brown hair along with his little siblings and other Mother.  Watching his family from a distance, he knew he couldn't join in because he would just make it awkward for himself and everyone else.  He just didn't belong to that picture-perfect family.

I was planning on stopping here but, NAH, lets continue...

The sky was dark and cloudy the day of mom's funeral, a lot of people came Mother is- was a very friendly woman who attracted a lot of people towards her

“My condolences for your lost” Cale didn’t understand why they would bother to keep saying that cause it wouldn’t her back, shes gonegonegonegone, but he still accept it politely

Father was too devastated to do so

Cale could hear the whispers "Why isn't he crying? His mother had just died, doesn’t he miss her? how heartless”

One by one, the people left until there was just the two of them standing there at the grave wheremotherwasburried,shesnevercomingback

Cale reached his hand to pat his back “Dad, let’s go home”

It would be alright as long as they were together.

.

.

.

but Cale couldn't seem to reach him

“Dad?” something was strange.

The child was suddenly falling, hand still reaching for his father who was kept kneeling at the grave

He was falling but was now older

Someone was screaming, Cale couldn’t understand, he was sleepy.

Cale closes his eyes.

It was the first time the dark had ever comforted him.

.

.

.

Black Cat caught the red-hair just before he could hit the ground, it had been a close call

“Is he alright?” The Illusionist asks in concern, she had come because the black cat hero had to call in every superhero, which was weird because Ladybug was usually the one to call the shots

Choi Han looks down at the unconscious Cale Henituse, sleeping peacefully

“He’ll be fine“

[crumbledcastle28]

Chapter 8: An Apology

Warnings: depression, suicidal thoughts, references to an incredibly painful past, references to murder, references to torture, lots of crying, references of being shot/stabbed. This is really heavy, so please proceed with caution.

Author’s Note: Thank you to EVERYONE who has shown any support for this! I am very proud of this series and it makes me very happy people are enjoying it 💜

(I cannot remember where I got this gif from, so if it’s yours please let me know so I can credit you!)

After Mando left, you sat in your silent sobs for what felt like hours.

It could have been hours for all you knew. It’s not like you cared anyway.

All you did was sit in your guilt and shame, allowing yourself to digest all you’ve done. You have been pushing this down for so long, and now it feels like there is no stopping it.

A person can only pretend for so long, and you would give anything to just go back in time and reverse it all.

So many faces flash in your memory of people you’ve killed and cheated for the Empire, and it’s an absolute hell. None of these people deserved what they got. None of them. And yet you still did it.

No matter how many excuses you make for how you became a part of the Empire and all the torture they put you through, you still did it. You are still an enemy to the people you held so dear after so little time.

You are a monster.

After a while, you hear Mando’s footsteps entering Kuiil’s house again. You don’t even know where Kuiil is, you honestly forgot he even existed.

Maybe he will forgive me, you think to yourself. We were in a similar situation?

You see Mando’s helmet enter through the doorway and you feel the smallest, tiniest fraction of butterflies you once had for the man returning.

But the butterflies are immediately squashed when you remember you are about to be thrown out. Again.

Just because you handled it once before doesn’t mean you have the strength to go through that now. Especially after everything you’ve done.

You feel his eyes scanning your pathetic, patched up form on the ground, and the storm inside of you starts to rumble again.

Please… please not again.

He sits down on the opposite side of the ship, resting his hands on his knees. He folds his hands, and you swear you hear him take a deep breath.

“She needs to calm down, that’s all,” he says, referring to Cara, and you find some strength to nod. Your eyes are burning and your muscles want to explode from exhaustion. Your mind is keeping you awake, while the rest of your body just wants to sleep.

“I…. I wouldn’t have let her kill you,” he says, and you shut your eyes, feeling the tears start to rise again.

Why, you think to yourself. It would be easier for everyone if I was just dead!

You still somehow keep yourself together, wiping your nose with your sleeve. He can see how much pain you are in, but you were praying he didn’t pity you. You didn’t deserve it. Especially from him.

“I have only heard stories about red lightsabers. They belong to an evil, dark side of the powers that the kid has,” he says, and you nod.

He has to understand. You know he understands. He always has.

“They’re called Sith… right,” he asks, and you finally make eye contact with him.

“Yes,” you croak out. Your voice sounds like you hadn’t talked for a hundred years, but Mando just nodded.

Yes, you think to yourself. I am a Sith.

The fact that Mando knows who and what you are now is the weirdest combination of feeling a weight lifted off your shoulders, but at the same time, one double the weight has been added.

He was talking so gently. Like he didn’t want to rub it in your face.

He has to be doing this so I don’t kill him when he kicks me out, you think.

Why else would he have any respect for me? No one else ever has?

He takes a moment to process, and then he asks, “The Emperor was a Sith… wasn’t he?”

You feel like a sword has been stabbed through you one final time, but you don’t want to make him feel like he’s hurting you, so you just nod slowly.

You have to save your strength for when he asks you to leave. You know he will ask you in that calm, gentle voice that will haunt you forever.

He understands you fought for the Empire. You killed, destroyed, and lied for them. Their blood is forever stained on your hands, and now you got Mando bloodied.

He deserves an explanation, or at least an apology, so you mumble a quiet “um,” signifying you were about to speak.

Even if he doesn’t believe you, he needs to know you didn’t want this. Ever.

“My uh… my parents sold me,” you mumble while sniffling.

You can tell his interest is peaked because his entire body leans forward, silently asking you to continue.

How can he even look at me right now?

You proceed to tell him the story of how your parents were servants to an evil family who never gave them a fair pay. They were incredibly poor, and they had you outside of wedlock, so they were looked down upon even more in their society. They hated you for it. They took any chance they could get to get you away from them.

When the Empire came to your planet looking for recruits, your parents jumped on the offer. They didn’t mind the extra handful of credits that came with it too.

“No matter how much I hated them, they were still my parents,” you say.

“I didn’t want to leave them, so when the stormtroopers went to drag me away, I got so angry. I didn’t know it at the time, but the force channeled through me in my anger. I used all my strength, and sent them all flying through the air,” you say, while laughing uncomfortably at the memory.

Your eyes still burned and your muscles screamed for relief, but you had to keep going. Mando deserved to know the truth.

“That’s the last thing I remember of that day, and the next thing I knew, I was sent into training. I went through countless masters, but none of them could control me. I was just so angry. All the time,” you said with a sigh.

“I would refuse to do what they asked, and even when I did what I was told, I would hurt them instead. I never listened.”

You took a deep breath. This next part was going to hurt.

“They finally realized that I could not be controlled, so they….. tortured me,” you say, trying not to allow the weakness in your voice to show through.

If you got emotional, it was more likely Mando would think you were crazy. You had to keep pushing.

You cleared your throat, and continued.

“They made me do everything, Mando. They made me tear down towns, cities, planets. And if the people didn’t succumb to the Empire’s rule…,” you say, and you can’t even finish the sentence.

“I finally got away years later, and I escaped to Tattooine. They tried to stop me, but it was no use. I could beat any stormtrooper or Imperial guard they threw at me,” you say.

“They hurt me enough to know that I wouldn’t come back…… I hadn’t even come close to helping anyone but myself until I met you,” you say.

You take a deep breath and rub your eyes.

You did it, you think. He knows.

You let him digest your story. He listened intently and respectfully the entire time you were speaking. He never interrupted, he never became angry, he just stared at you and digested it all.

It was quiet for a while, until he stood up.

“The Empire killed my family,” he said, and all your composure went out the window.

You assumed that the Empire hurt him, it has hurt everyone, but this is on another level. It felt like you had been shot again, but this was way more painful. Your heart shattered for him.

You always knew the universe was cruel, but you had done horrific things, so you always thought it was payback. Now you knew the universe was truly cruel.

“I am….. so sorry,” you manage to say through your burning throat. Tears were streaming down your face, but you managed to stay relatively quiet. It’s not like crying for them would bring Mando’s family back.

He moved to you slowly and kneeled down in front of you.

You couldn’t meet his gaze. You just stared at the floor and wiped your eyes. You were hurting him, just like you hurt everyone else. It felt like hell on earth and you were convinced you were the worst person that ever lived.

“You… you don’t have to believe me Mando. I know I hurt so many people, and even if I didn’t want to, I still did what they asked,” you say, trying to fill up the space.

“You can kick me out, kill me. Anything. I just want you to know that I didn’t choose this. I swear on everything I would do anything to be any other person in the whole galaxy.”

You finish and finally meet his gaze, begging him to say something. Anything.

He stands to leave, and you finally accept your fate.

He gets to the doorway, your final hopes of forgiveness leaving with him.

“I believe you,” he mumbles, looking back at you.

“We will talk more tomorrow” he says, and he leaves you.

Tag list:

@leahkenobi @pinkninja200 @bookloverfilmoholic @farfromjustordinary @440mxs-wife

[rivers-rambles21]

The one with the road trip

Part 15 of The one where Bucky has a cute neigbour series!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader (f)

Warnings | 18+ only  - no smut but mentions of it

Chapter 15 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 1 | Masterlist

Apologies for any mistakes, this has been written on my phone and its a bit difficult to edit. Once I’m back with a working laptop I’ll give it a once over :)

Bucky had intended on renting a bike so you could ride down to Louisiana but with Sam’s suit it would’ve been an impossible feat. 

He settled for hiring an SUV and added you both to the insurance so you could take it in turns driving on the long trip down south. 

“Been together one day and we’re already on our first trip” You teased as you rested your feet on the dash, taking in the scenery as Bucky drove. His metal hand gripped the steering wheel as he peaked a glance over to your bare legs, resisting the urge to pull over. 

“You’re the one having a mid life crisis doll not me” You feigned offense and swatted the soldier beside you, pleased to get a hit in as he tried to dodge your attack. His eyes remained on the road as he grasped your hand in his. “Less of that thank you” He laughed, bringing your hand to his lips, leaving a kiss on the back before giving it back to rest on your thigh, his hand not leaving yours. 

“Looking forward to seeing Sam again?” He didn’t respond but his face said it all. “You’re so dramatic” You chuckled as you leant down to root around in your bag for the road trip snacks. Retrieving a bag of cashews, you offered it to Bucky who gladly took a handful. 

“I just know he’s going to ask a billion questions about stuff we’ve not even discussed yet, that we’re probably not even ready to talk about. He didn’t stop asking about you y’know? Y/n this, Y/n that…he kept threatening to ask you out.” 

“Oh he did” 

The car swerved slightly as Bucky's grip on the wheel tightened, his concentration lapsing for a split second. 

“He did what?” He asked, tearing his eyes from the road to glance over at you. 

“It was just a bit of harmless flirting-” You began before being cut off. 

“We flirted.” Bucky stated, his jaw clenching. 

“We also did a lot of things just friends don’t do. Relax Sarge, he only asked to get a reaction out of me.” 

Bucky grunted in response, knowing his reaction was a tad over the top but he couldn’t help it. You were his. 

“We could always mess with him in return.” You pondered as you took a swig of your drink. “Maybe hold off on telling him about us, it’s only meant to be a flying visit anyway isn’t it? So we wouldn’t have to pretend for long… play him at his own game?” 

Bucky smirked in response, completely on board with your little plan.

  The next few hours passed with the typical car games and a quick power nap as Bucky continued driving. 

“How long until you start at Starks?” 

“A month thank god, the GRC wanted me gone pretty quickly, I didn't have to work my notice which was a blessing really. I’ll schedule a day to go and clear out my desk and say my goodbyes. Will you still get your pension if we live out of the country?” 

“I’m not sure to be honest, I can pick up work wherever we are though, it wouldn’t be the first time. I’m good with my hands” 

“You’re telling me” You muttered under your breath. Bucky heard you loud and clear and let out a laugh as he recalled how you spent most of last night. “Are we crazy? Travelling with no plan, barely any money and only just starting out as a couple?” 

“Oh absolutely”

Eventually Bucky took a break from driving after you stopped for food in a roadside diner. It had been a while since you’d driven but you wanted to give Bucky the chance to get some sleep, something you knew he still struggled with. 

Despite telling him to try and get some sleep on the back seats, he remained upfront with you, doing his best to battle the drowsiness that had overcome him. He’d not gotten much rest the past few weeks, from battling the Flag Smashers in Europe, to hunting down Zemo and then back to New York. In truth he was worried he’d have a nightmare and wasn’t sure on how he’d react but upon your insistence, he tried to get some shut eye. After an hour or so he dropped off, the sound of you humming along to a song on the radio sending him off into a dreamless sleep. 

Bucky couldn’t quite believe it, he couldn’t remember the last time he slept without being haunted by memories of the Winter Soldier. Granted, he only got four hours of sleep , but it was the best he’d felt in a long time.

When it came to your turn to get some shut eye Bucky insisted on stopping over in a hotel for the night. You’d tried to convince him a motel would suffice after you lost the battle of you sleeping in the car but he was victorious. 

To be frank, after spending so many hours in the car, you were grateful to be sleeping in a bed with your super soldier by your side. 

As you slept, Bucky took the time to fire off a few emails advising he’d be ending his lease. Having slept earlier, he felt energised and was content in browsing the internet as you slept tucked into his arm. 

He did his best not to wake you as he opened a selfie from Shuri of her with Ayo and Nomble, a chuckle escaping his lips as Shuri and Nomble looked to be thoroughly enjoying themselves on a boat trip in New York whilst Ayo sulked in the background. 

He also replied to an email from his therapist's office, letting them know he’d be absent from his next session but planned on returning the following week.

Bucky was tempted to let Sam know he was coming but thought it best to surprise him.

The next day was much of the same, both of you switching the drive and stopping off at diners for food. Due to the lack of respect Bucky had for the speed limit, you were making good time and would be in Delacroix the following morning. 

“-it was like I didn’t exist. Honestly it was the most humbling experience of my life” 

“Sergeant Barnes in his uniform… now that is something I’ve got to see.” 

“Maybe one day”  

Your eyebrow perked at the thought. “Good god man” You groaned dramatically and sank further into your seat, giggling as you caught sight of the blush covering his cheeks. “For what it’s worth, lack of nutrients from the rationing clearly messed with her eyesight.” You were genuinely baffled how Peggy didn’t swoon for the man next to you.

“Where were you in the 40’s when I needed you huh?” 

“I doubt I’d have been your type” 

“Intelligent, strong woman with a great sense of humor? And thats not even mentioning your ass.. Oh no, definitely not my type” He replied sarcastically. 

“Ha ha fine, I’ll take your word for it.” 

“I’d have taken you dancing, maybe gone to a show or even the carnival. Anything you wanted.” He took your hand in his again and kissed the back of it as he pondered just how he’d of won you over back then. He usually didn't like to dwell on life before the war, the pain of losing his family and the future he lost was too much but having you in his life somehow made the memories hurt less. Having you with him now along with the future he could picture with you helped him make peace with his past life and accept that it wasn’t something he could ever go back to. 

When Steve was returning the stones, he did wonder whether he should go back with him but the realisation that there wasn’t anything waiting for him apart from a time that he didn't belong to made his decision to remain in the present resolute. And by god was he thankful he stayed.

On your way to your final hotel before arriving at Sams, you’d taken over the driving and had kept Bucky entertained with your off key singing and terrible car games. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” As it turns out, Bucky was a sore loser. 

“What? It counts!!” 

“You cannot see bacteria Y/N” 

“Yes I can! It’s right...right… right there!” You pointed to a random bit of the car interior and held back a laugh at a clearly unamused Bucky.

“You’re so full of shit” 

“How do you know I can’t see it huh? Guess it’s my turn again, I spy with my little -” 

“No” He cut off as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Absolutely not. I’m going to choose a game.” 

You let out a little smile and continued focusing on the road until the super soldier landed on something he liked. 

“Okay okay, would you rather sounds fun. Doll, would you rather have the superpower of being invisible or ability to fly.” 

“Aw come on Buck these are tame! If I have to answer, without a doubt invisibility.” 

“Not dirty enough for you sweetheart?” A tingle rang down your spine at your new nickname. “I’d have to agree, invisibility easily.” 

“Buck you’re an actual superhero, you’ve already got powers, leave some for us mere mortals!” 

“... you think I’m a superhero?” 

“....you’re literally an Avenger.” You reached across towards the man beside you, keeping your eyes on the road as you pressed your hand against his forehead. “Are you feeling okay?” 

Bucky rolled his eyes at your sarcasm and swatted your hand away from his head. “Fine you made your point.” 

You shook your head as you returned your hand to the steering wheel, tapping away to the song on the radio. 

“The rest of these questions are boring” He muttered as he furiously scrolled through his cell. 

“C’mon, go R rated” 

“It’s no fun when I already know the answers to these!” 

“Pfft doubtful, come on, hit me” 

“Spit or swallow, you’re a swallower doll.See?” 

“Okay okay! You’re right, I give in. How about we just ask each other some questions?” 

“But you already know everything,” He remarked, throwing a few cashews into his mouth. 

“When did you first see me as someone other than a friend?” You’d thrown him off guard with that question, his hand stuck in mid air as he went to throw more snacks into his mouth. 

“Wouldn't you rather know my most embarrassing sexual encounters?” He offered but was met with silence. “Fine……. I’ve never seen you as just a friend. Yes we were friends before we became more and honestly Y/n if it never progressed further than just friendship I would’ve been fine with it, more than fine with it y’know? Meeting you was the best fucking thing-” “Buck, it’s okay” Your hand reached out towards him and squeezed his thigh as you kept your eyes on the road. 

“There’s more… before we officially met in the lobby when that creep wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone, I’d seen you around. I was coming back from lunch with Yori and he was complaining about having gone for burgers instead of our usual and there you were, headphones in completely oblivious to the world and searching for your keys in your purse as usual. You were just so carefree - everything I wanted to be. And then a couple of days later we met and I was a goner.”

You bit your lip as you fought back a smile, overwhelmed by his honesty. It was a welcome feeling, knowing you weren’t the only one that felt an attraction almost immediately. 

“I’d seen you around too, before we officially met I mean. It’s kind of hard to miss you” You chuckled as you snuck a glimpse over at him and found him doing his usual glare. “It was pretty early on for me as well, do you remember when we went for coffee?” 

“And you ordered us two cups of sugar? Yeah I remember” 

“Mocha Latte’s aren’t bad for you… they just give you a bit of a buzz” 

“Especially if you order extra cream…” 

“Anyway! I’ve always been attracted to you, I’m not blind y’know but after seeing this dark looming strong man consume a drink like that, and have some residue cream left on his lower lip mind you, I just knew that it was more than just a crush. There’s something oddly charming and attractive about seeing someone so intimidating be so soft. It’s like I’m the only one who gets to see that side of you and I love it” 

Bucky didn't quite know what to say, he was slightly flustered at the compliments you were throwing at him and by the knowledge that you’d been interested far earlier than he had ever dreamed of. 

“We’re idiots aren’t we? For not realising sooner.” 

“Oh without a doubt”

Tag list:

@iamtheonewhocares @indigo123789 @xpurpleglitter

If you want to be added drop me a message

[alolowrites]

Midnight Fantasies

Summary: Shinsou reminds you why you’ll always love him. 

Song Inspiration: “Repeat After Me” by The Weeknd

Author Note: *gasp* Did I actually post a new story and it’s NSFW?!? Crazy, I know. I’m honestly surprised it’s not Bakugou doing the honors LMAO. It’s my first attempt writing a NSFW fic, so I am nErVoUs ahsdksjd. I really like how it turned out; y’all can thank The Weeknd for this.

MINORS PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT. PLS. 

Warnings: Aged-Up Characters; Fem!Reader; Oral Sex (Female receiving); some basic, vanilla, sex tbh (baby steps y’all). Unprotected sex (whoops); Slight angst?? I’m sorry, I had to. Not sure if im missing something else....

Word Count: 1.6K+

3:16am

A tiny flame burns quietly on your bedside table, casting a glow on your whimpering face. You sink further into the silky pillows and close your eyes—his sinful touches are heavenly. They are the cure to the madness that was eating you alive the last few nights. But tonight, oh, tonight is different as strong hands roam along your body, treasuring each curve like a precious gift sent from above.

You let out a shaky breath, your fingers curling on the soft covers that probably won’t survive once the morning sun rises. But you don’t care as you feel his lips explore every inch of your bare shoulder. He moves toward your lovely neck and nips it softly, making you whine. A deep chuckle tickles by your ear as he hovers over you.

His left knee wedges in between your legs and grazes the dangerously wet panties. You moan, your hand clinging on his sculpted back muscles like a koala. He then grinds himself down on you, and your fingers dig into his thick skin. Oh, how he enjoys riling you up like this. You roll your hips to satisfy the pleasure burning inside your core.

“Fuck, Hitoshi…”

“That’s it,” he murmurs, his hot breath blowing against your heated skin. Shinsou gives you a chaste kiss, whispering, “Just relax. Let me take care of you tonight.”

A shudder runs down your spine—you yearned for this.

Shinsou listens to your body very carefully. He lets all the desperate squirms, the excited jolts, the heavy pants guide him on this long, sensual journey. You arch your back as Shinsou moves down, his lips leaving behind a blazing trail of kisses.

Breathy moans fill the room as the hemline of your satin nightdress rises up, exposing your ass. One of Shinsou’s palms greedily gropes it, amazed at how soft and delectable it feels. You pant harder as the hand travels south, the pace so agonizingly slow that your body is on fire. He stops and grips the thin fabric of your panties. You gaze at him, heart pounding when lustful eyes stare back at you.

They are like dark storm clouds ready to ravage the world—or in this case, you. A devious smile graces his lips as the panties slide off your legs and are tossed away, never to be seen again. You yelp when he pulls you closer to him, his face disappearing in between your legs. The anticipation grows as you feel him leave ghostly kisses along your inner thighs, waiting for those deadly lips to—

“S-shit,” you cry quietly, eyes shutting for a moment.

Shinsou’s tongue gives a teasing flick on your clit. He grins and licks around the swollen area, peppering it with kisses as well. You squirm on the bed and release another shaky breath. Shinsou wastes no time sucking your wet cunt, his mouth savoring the sweet taste dripping out your quivering hole.

A broken gasp rips through the air when his thumb circles on your clit. It moves at a steady rhythm, and you ride along with it, panting heavily the quicker he goes. You don’t want it to stop—not when the pleasure is so damn addicting, making your toes curl. Shinsou then sucks on the sweet spot, hard, and you moan louder.

“Oh, god, yes,” you chant like a broken record. One hand grips his messy hair, and you shiver when he grunts. Your hand has a mind of its own, pushing his face deeper to keep that friction going. “Fuck, more.”

And Shinsou obliges, devouring your throbbing pussy like a starved man. You simply buck your hips against his mouth and dig your fingers on his scalp until it bleeds. Shinsou holds you in place, the filthy sounds of his tongue pushing you over the edge. You keep hanging until it’s all too much and cry out in pure ecstasy, the waves rippling down your body.

Shinsou finally comes up for air, his chin dripping with that sweet cum of yours. He wastes no precious time capturing your lips that are dying for his attention. You fully surrender to him without hesitation, letting the man’s tongue dance inside your mouth. The blended taste of your honeyed cum and his saliva—an intense, rich flavor of ripe raspberries—overwhelms all of your senses.

You pull back when Shinsou grinds himself against you once more. That’s when you feel his large cock bulging through his boxers, teasing you to no end. He shifts a little, and the bed groans. Through half-lidded eyes, you whimper at the sight of Shinsou pumping his hard rock shaft, a bit of pre-cum dripping from the head. It playfully brushes your wet folds, but you can’t wait any longer.

You just can’t.

“Please, Hitoshi,” you beg, not bothering to hide the desperation cracking in your voice. “Please, I—hngh.”

Shinsou squeezes your hips, almost encouraging you to say it. “Tell me.”

“I-I need you,” you quiver. “P-Please, I—”

Your mouth parts with a silent cry when Shinsou sinks his cock. He hisses a bit, feeling the spongy warm walls stretch around him. You mewl as he fills you up, slowly and with great care. The sensation is new yet oddly familiar and satisfies that intense hunger you had the past few nights. You shut your eyes and bite your lip—Shinsou feels amazing, the thick girth of his twitching inside your pussy.

Shinsou’s thumb caresses across your cheek, and you look at him. With a slight nod, Shinsou begins rocking you, the bed creaking with each move. His hips roll like the gentle ocean waves under a clear night sky. There’s no rush, no hurry; Shinsou wants to cherish every single second inside you, and he relishes your lovely moans filling the air.

You wrap one leg around his waist, and he holds onto it with a vice grip. Shinsou soon crashes his entire weight on you as his forearm rests near your face. He groans when your pussy clenches tightly on him.

“That’s right,” Shinsou grunts near your ear, giving you a firm thrust for good measure. “You don’t love him. Not when you’re thinking of me, kitten. Not when I’m fucking you.”

“M’fuck, Toshi!” You cling to him as Shinsou continues to rock you deeper and deeper, his pace pounding you into oblivion. “Oh god, yes…yes…”

He’s hitting you just right, over and over again, with no sign of stopping. You drown yourself in the sea of immense desire. Suddenly you’re captivated with everything Shinsou does to you. It’s his ragged breaths that scorch your skin like a raging wildfire. It’s his massive muscles that mercilessly crushes you into the mattress, trapping you there with no hope of escape. It’s his fingers—rough and enormous—that selfishly claim your skin, reminding you that you belong to him.

At least for tonight.  

You gaze into his eyes, raging with lust.

“Repeat after me,” Shinsou rasps in between each breath. “You don’t love him.”

“I...I don’t love him.”

“You love me.”

You nod, mouth trembling. “I love you, Hitoshi.”

Shinsou lets out a feral growl at your final words—words of affirmation that you both know to be true. They make him go wild, each of his thrusts more maddening than the last. You cry harder and dig into his tensed shoulders as Shinsou ravages you like no tomorrow. Yet, he holds onto his promise, and that is satisfying you tonight.

The pleasure builds rapidly throughout your body. You can feel it bubbling inside you, thrashing like waves during a stormy sea. Your eyes roll back, and your mouth opens wide, singing incoherent praises to Shinsou as he rides you through your orgasm. He holds you with all his strength when his own fervid release hits you seconds later.

Shinsou heaves loudly above you, sweat beads rolling down his forehead. His eyes never waver away from yours, admiring your flushed face. It’s beautiful, perfect even. You forgot how much Shinsou looks at you with such devotion that you break down crying.

“Hey,” he says, whispering your name. His thumb wipes a few tears from your cheek, and you flutter your gaze at him again. “It’s okay. You don’t have to cry.”

“I miss you, Hitoshi,” you croak, the tears raining down your face. “Fuck, I miss you so much.”

A faint smile barely reaches his eyes.

“I miss you, too,” he confesses, and you hear the regret flowing through his voice. Still, Shinsou fights through and swears: “But, I promise you will always be mine, okay? You’re mine, and I’m yours.”

“Okay,” you sniffle and gaze into his eyes.

You believe him with all your heart.

Shinsou reaches down and captures your lips once last time. The kiss holds a wistful longing for the old days of your enthralling relationship—the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the absolute blessings and worst mistakes imaginable, it all meshed perfectly together to create this messy mosaic called love. And Shinsou burns this into the depths of your soul where you feel it.

You absolutely feel it.

Shinsou buries his head into the crook of your neck, and you hold him, afraid to let him go. You wish to remain like this forever, sleeping peacefully in each other's arms. So you close your eyes and pray he won’t disappear.

But nothing stays forever. Shinsou’s familiar warmth and crushing weight slip through your grasp, becoming more like faded memories that float inside your head. You open your eyes and release a deep sigh—you’re alone again. All tired, sweaty, and wet, especially as you remove your fingers from your soaked pussy.

No other man could satisfy you; Shinsou made sure of that. He reminds you every single night, haunting your fantasies whether you’re getting off on your own or fucking with the new guy who wormed his way into your life. And you, as always, scream for Shinsou—discreetly or without shame.

Because you’ll always think of him. You’ll always fuck him. And you’ll always love him, repeating those words with your last dying breath.

Love is complicated, y’all. And yes, I couldn’t resist doing a little ~twist~ for the ending HA! 

Thanks for reading!! 

[atinydise]

Ateez trying to get their s/o back after leaving them for their exes

❦ Genre: Angst.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: 3k9.

❦ A/N: I don’t know how you managed to do that but y’all made the pole 50/50 💀so here’s the first one that I made angsty and the 2nd one should be posted soon! - Thank you for all the little messages you added to the pole! It was really nice and I appreciated this a lot! Sadly I forgot to tell you to add your @ or whatever 💀so I can come & dm you but THANK YOU SO MUCH 🤍🦋

HONGJOONG

Not even 2 weeks later, your ex-boyfriend contacted you. You picked up only because he was supposed to take back the rest of his stuff in your apartment. [“When do you want to come?”] You asked coldly. [“A-Actually…. I would like to talk with you.”] He stuttered. You sighed. It was already hard for you to engage a conversation with him, knowing that he’s taken, and he wanted to talk like nothing happened. [“About what?”] [“Let me come to your apartment. I’ll be there in 10 minutes, okay?”] [“Then hurry up, I have some plans tonight.”] It was a lie. You didn’t want him to think you stayed all the time in your living-room, crying about your chaotic life. [“Sure. See you in 10 minutes then.”] You hung up right away, but it seemed important. Maybe he wanted to…? You shook your head to avoid these false hopes and went straight to your bedroom. The last days, you packed all of his stuff. Unconsciously, you started to remember all the memories you had with each item. Everything shirts, every CDs even his toothbrush.

You probably were too deep in your thoughts because the ring bell made your heart miss a beat. Picking up the box before leaving the room, you rushed to the hallway and opened the door. You prepared yourself during the 2 last weeks for your first conversation with Hongjoong, as your ex-boyfriend. But nothing prepared you to see him looking so happy with a dozen of roses in his hands. “What is that?” You immediately asked. “These are for you.” He handed the flowers to you. “I would like to apologize for thinking that I would be happier without you.” He added, ashamed. “I want you in my life Y/N.” One part of you were not surprised at all. You knew the day he had broken up with you that this decision was taken too fast. Looking once again at the red flowers, you rolled your eyes and grabbed them. Hongjoong started to smile more widely until you threw it harshly on the floor. “Do you think that I will jump back in your arms as nothing happened?” Your lips started to shake a bit; the emotion was surrounding you. “You threw me away as an old sock and ran to her. You ignored me for 2 weeks and came back just by telling me to let you go and to be more considering!” Your face was filled with anger and confusion. It was the first time Hongjoong saw this expression. He hated it. “Y/N…” “I don’t care if I’m still in love with you. I don’t care if I’m dying without you. Because anyway, I can’t see you the same way…” You sobbed. “You broke me in a million of pieces and came back today, trying to fix the mess that I am. And BECAUSE of you!” “Y/N please-” He tried to step inside. “Take your stuff and go away.” You grabbed the box and threw it on his arms. “Y/N-” “I said GO AWAY!” You yelled. He made you reach your limit. You yelled at him crazily, you were crying hot tears uncontrollably and pushing him away from your life. Not wanting to make you madder. He nodded and turned around. Right away, you shut your door. You were completely destroyed. He made you feel so bad that you hated yourself for still loving him.

SEONGHWA

The next months, Seonghwa was tormented. His ex asked him a second chance and he accepted. The media were sharing all the new couple informations. All his fans, his members and the staff were happy for him, but he wasn’t. Something didn’t feel right, and he knows exactly what. You. Even though these days with his ex-girlfriend were cool. It wasn’t you. Seonghwa wasn’t having fun like he does usually. When the regret started eating him inside, he decided to call you. Of course, you never picked up. And he couldn’t blame you for that. “Why you just don’t go to her house? You know she will be there.” Sighed Yeosang. “I don’t know…” he replied. “I think I’m scared.” “Just go. You might lose her for good, if you don’t do anything.” Seonghwa hesitated few seconds and finally left the dorm. He ran to your apartment. At each step, the frustration was worse. When he saw you far away the shape of your building. He almost ran back to the dorm. But the little Yeosang’s voice was stuck in his head. Seonghwa continued his way to your apartment. Right before climbing the entrance stairs, you came out, visibly in rush. Because of the expression on your face, you were surprised to see him here. “Y/N.” He smiled at you. “Seonghwa.” You replied instinctively. “I’m so glad you there I was looking for you.” “What do you want? You should be with-” “With you. You are the only one I should be with.” You scoffed, not believing a word he said. “How can you come here after all this time?” You asked, arms crossed our chest. “Are you already bored of her?” “Not at all. It was always you; I was just too dumb to notice.” “I’m not a toy that you can throw when you are bored.” “You are absolutely not a toy. Or a test or a break, whatever you say. This is my fault. I made a big mistake.” He explained, holding your hand. “Your mistake caused me to stay at home for weeks. To lost some of my friends, my self-confidence and esteem.” You removed his hand of yours. “While you were acting lovely dovely with her on every social media, I was all alone.” “Y/N, I will fix-” “Y/N?” You both looked at the person coming at your right. “Ah you there.” You smiled widely. “I can’t make you wait.” He winked. Seonghwa and apparently your new man looked at each other few seconds. “Is everything okay? Do you know him?” You stared at Seonghwa, “I’m okay… And it’s nobody.” You claimed. “Y/N.” He tried to stop you, but you carefully avoided his grip. You walked past to him and joined your “friend”. “Let’s go.” He opened the car door for you. Powerless, Seonghwa looked you leaving with someone else. That’s exactly, what he was scared to see. You with someone else who knows your real value.

YUNHO

“Yunho can you focus please. It’s the last shot and you keep making the same mistake.” Sighed the music video director. The tall boy apologized again and tried to focus back. Hongjoong grabbed his wrist. “It can’t continue this way. You need to look for Y/N after our schedule today. She’s clearly stuck in your mind all the time.” “But how?” “Just go.” He replied before positioning back. This is why Yunho was in front of your gate the same night. After your argument at the supermarket, you both decided to break up. Even if he thought that confessing to his ex would lift the weight on his shoulders, it stayed the same. He hated himself for that. When he was with you, he was non-stop mentioning Hyena. Now, it was the opposite. But even if his mind was completely fuzzy, his heart belongs to you and nobody else.

Knock knock.

“Coming!” The sound of your voice made his heart melt even more. “He-” He bowed politely to you. “Hello Y/N. It’s been a long time.” You stayed completely quiet. “I know you weren’t expecting to see me here, but can we talk a bit?” You bit your tongue interiorly, struggling to know if it was good idea or not. “It won’t be long. Promise.” You took a deep breath and finally stepped on the side to let him enter. “Thank you.” In a matter of time, you were both sitting on your couch. And it was totally awkward. “I know I acted like a complete jerk with you and I’m sorry for that. I thought that my feelings for Hyena were stronger, but it wasn’t.” He glanced at you, trying to see any reactions but you kept arbored this poker face. “I want you. I need you. I miss you. I love you. Not Hyena.” He confessed. “Please give me another c-” “I do want you.” You cut him. “I do need and miss you.” You added. Yunho was smiling widely at you, relieved that you forgave his silliness. “But I can’t love you anymore.” Immediately his face saddened. “Why? I’m sure I can make it work.” “Every time you pronounce her name, my love for you is fading away. Little by little.” You explained, moving your knees against your chest. “You pronounced it 2 times already, since you entered. Just with a name I feel awful.” You looked right at his eyes. “I don’t want to feel this mix of jealousy and pain anymore Yunho.” “Y/N.” “If this is all you wanted to say then you should leave.” Yunho didn’t want to make any scene, so he just nodded and accepted his fate. He put back his jean jacket and stood up. Before walking away, he looked at you. Without asking your permission, he kissed your forehead softly for few longs’ seconds. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. You bit your lip the whole time he left. When you heard the lock, you busted in tears on your couch. Why everything was so complicated?

YEOSANG

The way you left the backstage room the other day was haunting Yeosang. Going back to Kira was really a good choice? If yes, why does his heart hurts so bad? Before going to sleep he had few flashbacks of you. It was stuck in his mind for the rest of the night. It happened 2 times in a week and even more the following days. These insomnias caused him to be exhausted. The ethic schedule, his feelings and these sleepless nights caused Yeosang to drink more than usual. Tonight, he was the only client left at the restaurant. His table was filled with a bunch of Soju’s bottles. All empty. “Sir.” Called the waitress. “We took your phone to call someone who can get you back home.” “Nobody is going to pick me!” He yelled completely drunk. “The only one who did is gone! Like POOF!” He claimed. “She disappeared of my life.” “Don’t bother this poor girl with your dumbness.” You sat in front of him, visibly annoyed. “Y/N?” He smiled widely, his eyes completely teary. “You came back to me?” You glanced at the waitress and asked her 5 more minutes. To talk with him in private. Nicely even though you saw that she just wanted to go back home, she accepted. “You shouldn’t drink this much. You can’t hold alcohol well.” “This is the only thing that helps me to sleep and forget.” He tugged. “Forget what?” “Forget that I ruined the amazing relationship we had.” He sighed, looking for a bottle. You stopped him before he could drink again. “You shouldn’t talk this way to me when you are with someone else.” “I don’t care because she’s not you.” He replied, growling. You stared at him; he was feeling really bad about this situation. You were about to reassure him, saying that everything would be okay, when his phone lightened up and his wallpaper appeared. The pain was back once again. You remember why everything stopped. Because of her. Kira. "You shouldn’t keep my phone number as your main contact anyway." “But I want to! Just let me love you!” He shouted, pushing the table a bit. “But I don’t want you to call me!” You raised your voice as well. Even if he was completely drunk, he understood that you were rejecting him. “I called San and Mingi. They should be there in few minutes. Please stay here till they arrive.” You ordered, standing up. “Wait.” He almost fell in front of you. You raised a brow at him. “So, it’s over? For real?” Because I made a mistake?” Yeosang gulped, anticipating your reply. You wanted to tell him that he would possibly get another chance, but a notification lightened his phone again. Kira’s smile was the first thing you saw. You nodded and pinched your lips together. “Yes. It’s over.” Yeosang clenched his fist and stared at the ceiling pissed. “Delete my phone number please.” You asked one more time before turning around and leaving the restaurant. On the way back to your home, you walked past to San and Mingi. “Oh, it’s Y/N? No?” Asked San. “Was she crying?” Added Mingi. Yes, you were. How could you not cry when you felt like your life was falling apart?

SAN

You opened your letterbox. As the previous days, a rose was on top of your bills and other prospects. You knew that San was the one leaving a flower daily. You ignored what he was trying to do. He was supposed to live the “perfect love story” with his “new ex girl”. You weren’t supposed to be a part of this relationship. So as always, you threw it on the trash can next to the door. No way, you would accept it.

This little game lasted 3 weeks. He even added more roses for your birthday. San was making your confused. Your heart was torn between the pain and the incomprehension. One day, you finally decided to trap him.

You never saw him, but you knew he was probably waiting for you to leave and put the flower on your letterbox. So, you faked to leave the building as always and hid between the gate and a bush. As expected, you spotted San rushing to the hall. He entered the door code. Just before the door could close, you got out of your hiding place and followed him “Choi San!” He almost slipped when he heard your voice. He wasn’t expecting you to be there. “You scared me! I almost had a-” “What are you doing?” You cut him, walking straight in front of him. “J-just putting the rose as... always?” He scratched his head shyly. “Stop doing this. We are not together anymore, right?” “I regret it okay? Leaving you was the biggest mistake I ever made.” “I don’t care.” You replied. “You should have thought about it earlier.” “Don’t be so mean... I know what I did was wrong, but I can’t-” “Which part you don’t understand in ‘I don’t care’?” You almost yelled, snatching the rose off his hand. “Y/N, calm down.” He tried to make you lower your voice. “Don’t come and put these flowers here anymore!” You threw it back on him. “Y/N...” “Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t talk to me! Do exactly as you did these last weeks! Forget me.” You ordered angrily. “I can’t do like you never existed.” He raised his voice. “You’ve done it extremely well.” Your voice cracked. “You completely erased me of your life. You made as I never existed, so continue! It helped me to stop loving you!” You shouted before leaving your building for good this time. San wanted to convince you that you were the one and only, but it was clearly too late.

MINGI

[“Hello Y/N.”] Once again Mingi was using Yunho’s phone to text you. He started to do that when he understood that you blocked his phone number. [“Mingi... I know that’s you.”] [“So… can you accept a call?”] [“I have nothing to say to you. Please stop texting me or using Yunho’s phone.”] [“Y/N just one call. That’s all I ask. Only one. Maximum 10 minutes.”] You hesitated. You weren’t forgiving him for sure, but you knew exactly the effect his voice has on you. [“6 minutes.”] You replied. In maximum 10 seconds, your phone buzzed in your hand. You took a deep breathe before picking up. [“So? What do you want?”] [“You.”] A big silence settled between both of you. [“I won’t come back.”] [“Think about how happy we were, together.”] [“Ah yeah, when you say ‘before’, you mean before you tried to dump or even to cheat on me with your ex-girlfriend? Who also, cheated on you?”] [“Yeah... I guess. But I never cheated on you!”] He was visibly ashamed, but also totally deserved this cold treatment. [“Any way, if you think I’m ready to forgive you... you are totally wrong.”] [“Y/N. I fucked up I know that... but please try to understand me.”] [“In no existing universe I will understand you Song Mingi. You know what?”] You paused, trying to let the anger down before you say something you would regret. [“Tell me. I need to know how you feel to apologize correctly.”] He replied, understanding that you were looking for the right words. [“How I feel? Well, I feel terrible because of you. I have never felt this way in my entire life. Why? Because you...] your voice cracked. You immediately wiped your eyes before a tear could escape. [“Because you ruined every pieces and aspects of me. I can’t look at myself in a mirror without feeling disgusted.”] Your lips were shaking uncontrollably, the words were stuck in your throat. Mingi was aware for sure that you would cry. [“I HATE loving you after all the pain I need to endure right now. I can’t even stop loving you. How weak I am for falling for your voice again? This is disgusting. This is sickening.”] [“I-”] [“I tried everything. I even imagined you cuddling her like you did with me. Just to hate you and maybe forget your existence but this is just...”] You paused once again, but to take back your breath and hold your phone correctly because of your shaky hands. [“This is just killing me inside.”] You clenched at your shirt. [“I d- I don’t know what to say. What I can do to apologize?”] He sadly asked. [“The 6 minutes are over.”] You claimed before hanging up.

WOOYOUNG

It’s been exactly 2 months after your discussion on the balcony. This was the last time, Wooyoung saw you. After few days, he finally asked his ex-girlfriend to date him again, but nothing. Not the sparkles he thought he would feel and not even the happiness. Nothing. He felt like an empty shell. His new girlfriend was nice and funny, but everything seemed so fake. Even on her side, she could feel that Wooyoung’s heart was somewhere else. One day, she confronted him. At the end of the conversation, they both decided that the best for them was to break up. He realized that the “feelings” for her, that he detailed to you the last time, were completely wrong. “You should go back to her. I’m sure she’s waiting for you.” She cheered him. Without thinking twice, he left her dorm right away and jumped in the first taxi. On the way to your house, he tried to call you but seems like your phone was completely off. He ignored how he would explain this situation to you. You were probably upset and mad at him. The thought of you hating him went straight to his mind. But the taxi stopped right in front of your flat. After the payment, Wooyoung opened the little gate of your garden. The apartment seemed unbelievably quiet; the lights were on but no sounds. He knocked once, repeating the same apology to practice. “Oh Wooyoung?” Claimed your roommate, surprised to see him here. “Hi. Can I talk to Y/N? Quickly? I know it’s late, but I’ll make it short.” “I would love to let you talk to her, but she left 2 weeks ago.” She said, biting his lip of nervously. “Left? Where?” He asked, not believing you could do something like this. “She went to Berlin.” “Berlin? But why Berlin?” “She had a job opportunity there... and because you broke up, nothing was holding her here anymore.” Wooyoung tugged in the side, completely lost. “I can’t believe it. How could she leave this way...?” “I’m sorry Wooyoung.” She patted his back, trying to comfort him a bit. “I miss her too.” The boy sat against the wall. He couldn’t stand up anymore. The thought of you being so far away, made him dizzy. “It was supposed to be a happy ending.” He bit his lip, trying to suppress the tears in his eyes. Your ex-roommate stayed quiet next to him. Not exactly knowing how to help him. “I really messed up everything.” He buried his face in his arms, not knowing what to do now. He lost you for food this time. He wouldn’t forgive himself for that.

JONGHO

The maknae ignored if waiting for you at the same place you spotted him and Sienna. was a good idea, but it was the only option he found. You brought all of his personal stuff to the dorm, you blocked his phone number and his social media account. Even when he was using his teammates’ number, you managed to reject him. How he could contact you? So, he came every day after his schedule and hoped to see you there. The first week, no sign of you, only the usual crowd. But just when he was starting to doubt about his strategy, you appeared. Just by seeing your face, his heart melted away. “Y/N!” He stood up off his chair and waved to you. He saw the expression on your face, it went to surprise to disgust in 2 seconds. You walked up to his direction even if your mind told you to stay away. “Jongho.” “Finally, you are here.” He smiled. “I came every day to have a chance to look for you.” “This is not the dedication you should have for you ex-girlfriend.” You stated annoyed. “Sienna and I broke up.” He said, thinking that you would be happy about that. Instead, you raised a brow. The look you gave him once again wasn’t the one he expected. “So… because you broke up, you think you can go back to me as nothing happened?” “I-I thought yes. But seems like it was a bad idea.” “Yes, it is. How can you think I would say ‘Oh yes let’s go back together and act like the perfect little couple again?” “I wanted to prove you that I made a mistake. And so that I want to fix it.” You started to laugh loudly, gripping your belly to reduce the abdominal cramps. All the people around, started to look at you weirdly. Exactly like the last time. “This is not happening Jongho.” Wiping your eyes. You replied coldly. “On no other earths, no other planet or not even the entire space, I would accept to date you again.” “I completely regret it Y/N.” He almost begged you. “Yes, and you should.” You stood up. “This is not because Sienna “the perfect girl”, broke up with you that you should run to me.” “Listen.” “No. You listen to me. I’m not a toy. I’m a human with feelings and so on.” You pointed at your chest. “You hurt me so much that I managed to erase you of my life. “You don’t need to do it because I will fix it. I promise.” “Don’t come to look for me anymore.” You grabbed your bag, leaving before he could add something. Even though you said that you erased him of your life, you didn’t and honestly, you don’t think you would someday. You will just need to live with the pain.

[missdawnandherdusk]

That Would Be Enough

Hufflepuff!Reader X Draco

Look at where you are

Look at where you started

The fact that you're alive is a miracle

Just stay alive, that would be enough

Chapter 1     Chapter 2    Chapter 3     Chapter 4     

Chapter 5     Chapter 6    Chapter 7    Chapter 8    

Chapter 9     Chapter 10

Summary: Dumbledore is dead and the pieces start to fall apart or in to place...

A/n: Okay guys, this is a great chapter because you get to look into the past and into the future and also you get to see the loose ends start to tie themselves... who’s ready for this to end soon? Not me, but at least I’m figuring out how I want to end it. Also, my postings will be a bit more sporadic because I’m in college and have a job and so writing, though still fun takes energy that I rarely possess...

I stood and Draco was beside me. I looked to him frantically, wondering what was next. What would be next for the two of us?

There was hardly a moment to think for ourselves because beside us, Snape apparated into the foyer, causing my to jump in panic, into Draco’s arms. The professor seemed to take the sight of the two of us in, and something soft and sad was in his eyes before he recovered.

“Are you to unharmed?” He asked curtly. We nodded mutely.

Then the thought ran through my mind, or perhaps I had finally allowed myself to think it.

The man in front of us was a murderer.

The man in front of us saved Draco’s innocence. Something that I couldn’t even do.

My mind begged the question: was Snape good? All I could find were grey answers.

“Is it done?” Narcissa’s voice caught all of our attention.

“Yes,” Snape retorted. “And I expect the Dark Lord to be here any moment, so if you’d like to flee Miss Y/n, now would be the time,”

“I’m not running,” I declared defiantly—foolishly.

A loud crack sounded through the large Manor, and the air grew cold and foreboding. Draco registered what was occurring before I did. He protectively pushed me behind him as many more Death Eaters appeared around us until black flooded the green marble floors. They were all shouting in victory. They were all laughing and grinning. Even behind their masks, it wasn’t hard to understand their pure joy about the death of Dumbledore.

My fingers gripped Draco’s cloak as I went numb, by choice or perhaps not. My mind shut down and had gone to autopilot. One look in Draco’s eyes and I knew that he had as well. His hand still found mine, however. That was one thing, even numb, that would never change. Narcissa came behind me, holding my shoulders—comfortingly or defensively, I wasn’t sure.

One thing broke Draco’s perfect mask and made Narcissa gasp in terror. The sight of Lucius. I could barely make out a clear image of his father, only the long silver blond hair that I knew well. On the cold ground, Lucius looked desperately to something—someone.

The Dark Lord.

I could not mistake this being for anyone else. The creature that haunted my dreams and plagued my reality. Not meters from me. His cruelty revealed everything.

I had never seen the Dark Lord happy, but a gruesome smile distorted his ghastly face. My grip on Draco’s hand was so tight that my nails dung into his skin. If I had control, I would have lessened the pressure, but the control no longer belonged to me. Instead it belonged to the beast in long dark robes with blood red eyes.

Words left his lips, but I had no power to listen. It wasn’t until other people acted upon me that I had any reaction to the events around me.

Draco held firmly to my arm and Narcissa to my shoulders, refusing to let me go. To let me be pulled into the circle of Death Eaters next to Lucius.

“Ah, ah,” The Dark Lord refuted gently. “Come, bring the girl,”

Narcissa’s hands left regretfully and Draco met my eyes, terrified before he let me go too.

I was shoved into the middle of the circle of Death Eaters, wand gripped tightly in my hand. Before me, I could finally see Lucius—looking more ghostly than I had ever seen him, frail and defenseless. A storm of emotions overwhelmed me. Anger overpowered the others. He had hurt so many of the ones I loved. Not fifteen years ago did he kill me father in the same room.

Maybe I’d have the pleasure of vengeance after all.

“A gift for you my dear,” Voldemort purred, as if to read my thoughts. “I heard you were marvelous in using the Cruciatus Curse on Precious Potter, and I wonder if you’d like to display you skills again?”

My eyes flashed from hallow grey eyes to vivid red ones.

“You want me to...” my voice wavered. My anger fizzled out.

“Well of course, you did aid dear Draco in his mission, and were quite marvelous, I thought it might only be fitting to reward you,” His false kindness eerily swept through me, leaving me in uncertain ground. “Just think of all of the hurt Lucius has caused you. He murdered your father, abused the one you love for years and still he kneels there on the ground loathing you,”

In my mind I saw the death of my father again. The fruitless pleas that fell from his lips. The bright green flash that ended his life.

Tears stung my eyes as my gaze fell upon Lucius again.

Then I saw a shade of Draco in those troubled grey eyes: The night of the third trial and the absolute dread in Draco’s eyes. The night of the ball as this man spoke coldly to him. The breakdown Draco had not a month later. The need for healing potions to be on hand. All because of the man before me.

My lip quivered as the tears fell silently. But then my memories shifted.

To Draco chasing after me at the ball. Or the day we first kissed that summer. Seeing him on the train. The day he defended me from Umbridge. Every smile and every tear. The nights when he broke and the days when he was put back together.

That was so much more valuable than my hatred for Lucius.

Then my eyes met Narcissa’s. They were frozen in shock and fear. I could see the desperate pleas in them to spare her husband’s life. A woman who went through two wars, desperate to keep her family together. Losing one sister to insanity and another to disownment. Losing a husband to hatred and a son to darkness. A woman who welcomed me with opened arms because she believed that I could pull her family back together, even for a little while. She had faith in me. In the kindness and goodness in me.

That was so much more valuable than my hatred for Lucius.

“Crucio,” I whispered, the spell taking no effect on the man before me.

“Like you mean it my dear!” The Dark Lord encouraged. “Let out all of your hatred and anger! Every wrongdoing, every lie, every injustice!”

“Crucio!�� I called out louder and still there was little effect. The circle of Death Eaters around me snickered, mocking me.

“She has had a long day My Lord,” Snape spoke up. “Perhaps she will be better suited in the morning after a night’s rest,”

Voldemort’s blood red eyes peered at me, but I was at peace. There was no thought for him to have. My mind was plate glass. A reflection for him to gaze upon.

“Perhaps,” The Dark Lord echoed. “Take her out of my sight,”

Again, I was grabbed and thrown hastily out of the circle and into not Draco’s arms, but Narcissa’s. There were tears in her eyes and a kind smile on her face as she led me upstairs to Draco and my shared room.

“Thank you,” She wrapped me up tightly in a hug. “That was a kindness I didn’t deserve,”

“My love for you and Draco outshines any malice I have towards Lucius,” I whispered. “You’re my family, and family sticks together,”

She pressed a kiss to my forehead and cradled me close. Tears fell down her face as soft sobs wracked her frame. There was a knock on the door causing us both to jump. Narcissa wiped her eyes quickly and composed herself opening the door only to meet Snape.

“They’ve gone, he requires medical attention,” His voice was soft and curt.

Without hesitation, I rushed to Draco’s bathroom grabbing three vials: healing, thoughts, and anxiety. I brushed past Snape and Narcissa, heading down the stairs to where Draco was cradling his father, unshed tears in his eyes.

“Here,” I knelt beside him, uncorking the first vial.

Draco and I worked like a well-oiled machine as the potions took their affect onto his father. Some color returned to his deathly face. Snape and Narcissa both had their wands drawn, casting healing and protection spells of their own. Lucius’ breathing became steady and no longer did he look like a corpse. Though he looked aged, he looked human.

“Thank you,” Narcissa murmured, stroking Lucius’ hair from his face. “You two get to bed,” she ordered softly.

“Y/n,” Snape called before I ascended the stairs. “The Dark Lord will be waiting for you to torture Lucius. He will not let you fail in this attempt.”

“I... I can’t do it. I never wanted to do it in the first place to Harry,” I confessed, my voice rasping.

“You must.” Snape rose. “For the sake of your life and for Draco’s. This is a different game now.”

I nodded and took Draco’s hand, rushing up the stairs and into the safety of our room. Like his mother had, Draco wrapped me up into his arms and only then did I realize I was shaking rather violently. I didn’t feel panicked, but my body said otherwise.

“Thank you,” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “You were kind in ways that I never could have been,” It seemed that the only even that either of us could process at the moment had been the past few minutes.

“I couldn’t do it. Not when I looked in his eyes and saw you,” I whispered into his shoulder.

“What are you going to do?” He asked. “You... the Dark Lord isn’t going to...”

“I know,” I sighed. “I don’t know what to do. But I won’t cast another Unforgivable.”

“Maybe it’s time for you to leave,” his words held a softness as he cupped my face. “To keep you safe.”

“I can’t leave you here, Draco,” I refuted. “I won’t go. I have to show them I won’t be broken. I won’t let hatred win,”

“Do you understand how dangerous this is?” His words became curt. “You could be killed for showing any disloyalty.”

“I know, I know,” I dismayed. “But I won’t run. I won’t be a coward... and I have nowhere to go...” There was nowhere that I could go that I knew wouldn’t be a target or a suspect for hiding me.

Draco huffed and ran a hand through his hair anxiously.

“Okay,” He gave in. “We should get to bed,”

“Dray,” I groaned. “This is my path as much as it’s yours. Please don’t push me away.” 

“I’m just trying to keep you alive,”

“My life isn’t my own anymore. I’ll willingly die for the good,” As soon as the words left my mouth my thoughts flashed to my father. “That’s why he did it.” I marveled mostly to myself. “That’s why my father wasn’t afraid of death,”

Draco stroked my cheek softly, the warmth in his grey eyes proving that Lucius would never be the man that Draco was.

Silence fell over us. Our minds, in sync, went mute. The phantoms of last summer guided us tonight. The warm silky water of a bath in his porcelain tub. The comforting scents of florals and memories. A trail of cloaks, robes, and clothes followed us to the bathroom and into the tub. My locket laid beside his family ring on the marble counter. His hands draped the water over my chilled skin, massaging away the tension in my muscles.

A year ago, there had been one mark on the two of us, now it seemed that there was no end to where our damage and scars were. And yet I didn’t feel shattered. I didn’t feel broken. Silent streams of tears trailed down our cheeks. They weren’t just of fear and anger, but perhaps also of relief and hope. What we dreaded had been done, now there were pieces to pick up. There was something to do. It wasn’t the brightest direction, but it was direction.

The shine of the moonlight reflected off of Draco’s eyes as we laid together in the comfort of clean cotton sheets. My fingers carded through the silver gossamer of his hair. I slipped into slumber in the comfort of the storms of his grey eyes.

My dreams were vividly bizarre. Trails of what ifs. Of almosts. Of what could have been.

A bright green flash coming from Draco’s wand. Coming from my wand. Draco dead in my arms. The last glimpses of life as I laid in Draco’s arms. Harry staring us both down, defending Dumbledore. Pinnae flying away in the night to a small home in the Grecian countryside and never looking back. Pinnae falling, falling, falling, flightless. Down from the Astronomy tower and to the cold unforgiving ground below.

A soft unintelligible mumble pulled me away from the free fall down. I was steadied. I was wrapped in comfort. I was draped in soft blankets and warm arms.

“Just a dream,” Draco slurred sleepily, his eyes not opening. “You’re okay,”

I hummed a response and curled back onto his chest, settling back into sleep.

___________________________

“He’s not going to forget her,” Severus huffed, pacing the room. “Y/n will have to prove herself,”

“I know,” Narcissa sighed, sitting beside her husband.

Lucius had not yet woken since he had been healed, and though Narcissa knew that he was not on the verge of death any longer, his health was still failing.

“She’s just a child,” Narcissa insisted hopelessly. “She has no business in all of this,”

“She doesn’t have a choice anymore Narcissa!” Severus declared. “She chose this path. She chose to stand beside Draco, and this is where that road leads!”

Silent tears fell down her cheeks, lost in a memory.

~~

“It’s not safe for you Cissa,” Lucius’ voice was quiet and urgent. “Go now, before it’s too late,” 

“I’m not leaving you,” Her stubbornness might kill her one day, but she wasn’t giving up on him.

“The Dark Lord will kill you, and I can’t lose you my darling,” Lucius stroked her cheek softly, “You’re too important,”

“Then you know why I must stay,” She closed her eyes leaning into his touch. 

“Please,” Lucius begged. “If not for your life, then for Draco’s. He’s just a babe.” 

“This family will stay together,” Tears stung her eyes. “He needs his father as much as he needs his mother,”

“You’re not going to like who his father becomes,” The whisper was barely heard. “Please Cissa,”

She shook her head, tears running down her cheeks and into his hands. 

~~

“She knows that,” Narcissa answered softly. “More than anything she knows the consequences of her choice.”

“And how can you be so sure?” Severus demanded.

“Because she was me,” Her fingers trailed down Lucius’ face gently. “I never thought I’d have to live through another war—to walk through another one with him,” She paused and turned to Severus. “But Y/n knows what she’s doing.”

“Then why are you so adamant on protecting her?” He demanded.

“For the same reason you are,” It could have been an accusation, but it wasn’t. It was sad and soft. Hopeless in a way.

“We can’t protect her in a desperate chance to change the past, Narcissa,” It was just as hopeless. 

“But we can try, can’t we?”

Lucius’ hand was ice cold in hers. His body was still riddled with Dark Magic and his time in Azkaban had not aided it one bit. There used to be an inkling of warmth in his skin, but now, it had vanished.

“You’re welcome to stay,” She offered. “The invitation is always open,”

A quiet beat passed.

“I will.” Severus answered. “He’ll need more looking after. And so will she,” 

“She will make it Severus,” Narcissa pressed as he went to exit the room. 

“That’s what he said about Lily,”

In the morning, Narcissa found you and Draco curled up together in bed, still sound asleep though the hour was becoming closer to afternoon than morning. She didn’t dare to rouse you two. If you could manage to sleep, she’d let you.

When you were finally awake and presentable, both eating in the kitchen, Narcissa could see the determination and uncertainty in your eyes as well as the familiar unease in Draco’s. You two were having the same disagreement that she and Lucius had. Draco no doubt wanted you to hide away, to be safe. And Narcissa knew that leaving was the last thing that you were going to do.

“When do you think he’ll be back?” Your voice was small as you cradled your mug in your hands.

“It’s hard to say,” Severus answered. “Time doesn’t work the same for the Dark Lord. It could be hours; it could be days.”

You nodded and leaned against Draco. It made her heart soar when she watched the two of you together. Draco’s comforting and protective nature that came out for you. And the trust you had in her son. It made Narcissa believe that she might have done something right after all these years to see her son this contented.

“Come,” Narcissa smiled softly, offering her hand to you. “You should learn how to heal Dark Magic,”

Wide-eyed, you followed Narcissa up the stairs, Draco shadowing you both, and into her bedroom where Lucius was still sleeping. Leading you beside the bed, Narcissa drew her wand.

“The easiest is medicari,” She instructed. “It will heal any physical wounds. The deeper the wound the more times you should repeat the spell,” You two nodded softly.

“To cleanse dark magic from the bloodstream or body—expurgatio” Narcissa turned to Lucius and brushed a stray lock of hair from his face as she cast the spell. Under her wand tip drew forth an inky blackness from his chest.

“A lighting charm, my dear,” Narcissa instructed.

You drew your wand and cast the charm, drawing it near to the darkness at the tip of her own wand.

“Dark Magic, after drawn from the body and exposed to light—” you watched as the ink vanished. “—has nothing it can do but run and hide,”

Draco’s face held an air of thought as you remained quiet in thought for a moment. Narcissa could see that you were trying to form your words in such a manner that they made sense, and that they didn’t draw you into a breakdown. Draco’s hand slipped into yours. Your thumb gently traced the scar that ran along the back of his hand.

“Snape...” You began, “He—he used a spell. It sounded like song... when he was healing Draco,”

“The Song of The Lost Soul, yes.” Narcissa sighed softly. “It is not an easy feat to cast such a spell. Whereas many spells are one or a few words, The Song of The Lost Souls requires perfect cadence and pronunciation to be of any aid. If not, it is rendered useless.”

“But if it works?” You asked, curious, hope in your eyes and voice. “It’s one of the most powerful healing spells known to wizards.”

“I want to learn it,” Your determination didn’t surprise Narcissa in the slightest. A smile graced her face at the sight of your eagerness.

“In due time, my dear. For now, why don’t we begin with expurgatio,”

Slowly but surely, with each time you cast the Cleansing spell, your wand gripped more and more of the dark magic that plagued Lucius blood stream. Draco would touch a Lighting charm to the Dark Magic, and it would flee every time. After a while you paused and went quiet.

“I don’t want to have to hurt him,” the confession was soft from your lips. “But if I don’t...” Your eyes met Draco’s a hopeless expression on your face.

“I understand, my love,” Narcissa comforted. “I’ve walked in your shoes before. I know the sacrifices and choices you must face.” She took your hand and smiled softly. “You have a kind soul. A strong soul.” With a soft breath in she continued. “I taught you these spells, not only to aid you in your oncoming battles in this war, but also to let you know that whatever is done, may be undone.”

You processed the words, your eyes growing in realization. “You mean... you want me to...”

“Mother,” Draco’s brows furrowed, surprised himself.

“I don’t will it, no.” She confessed. “But I understand why it must be done. Stars above know the things I was forced to do to gain the respect I have among the Death Eaters...” She looked down at Lucius, “Though I do not think you are aiming for their respect nor should you, I do believe that it will be a comfort to know you won’t be killed.”

“I... I don’t even know if I can,” Your voice broke as your gaze dropped to Draco’s hand in yours. “All I see when I look at him, is you two... and I can’t... I can’t imagine hurting either of you.”

“That is not what the Cruciatus Curse entails, Miss Y/n,” Severus spoke, spooking you a bit as you jumped a bit and Draco’s arm wrapped around you protectively on reflex.

Severus stood from the armchair accompanying the window and neared the bed.

“The Cruciatus Curse was originally meant as a way for a wizard or witch to alleviate all of their anger and frustrations. It was a spell directed at the stars, never at a soul, never at another man. Of course, it became distorted over the year unto what it is now, but I digress,” The tone was familiar to Narcissa, and it seemed to you two as well—a formal teaching tone.

“So... I don’t... I don’t have to hate the person I use the Curse on?” You squeaked, your eyebrows drown in confusion and revelation.

“Not particularly, though it does help.” Severus took a tight breath in. 

“But... in the bathroom... I used it on Harry,”

“And you were scared and angry,” Narcissa comfortingly placed a hand over yours. “All of your frustrations and fears that had been growing over those months were let out on Harry. Not that you loathed him specifically, but he was on the receiving end of your fury.”

____________________________

“So, I can cast the Curse with no intention of wanting to harm the person I’m casting it on?” Disbelief colored my tone. “How is that in any way safe? Or fair?”

“It’s not my dear,” Narcissa replied. “Which is the reason the ancients deemed it Unforgivable.”

“And I think you’ve seen that first-hand,” Snape remarked. “Though he is quite loathsome at times, I don’t truly believe that you hate Potter,”

“Debatable,” I muttered, causing Draco to chuckle beside me.

“You don’t,” Draco murmured in my ear. “Because I know you. You’re too kind,”

“He probably hates me,” My voice was weak and small. “You should have seen his face...” Worrying my lip, Draco pulled me in closer.

“Potter is very hot headed and impulsive,” Snape tried to comfort. “And he has no authority over you either,”

“But he’s the chosen one,” I protested, miserable. “Everyone cares about his opinion and what he thinks,”

“I think you’d find a few flaws in that statement,” A smile barely touched Snape’s lips. “You were quite the leader yourself in school. The students were just as willing to follow you as they were Potter,”

“Me?” I squeaked, my mind reeling. “But I’m just me. I’m not special. I’m not the chosen one. I’m just a bloody Hufflepuff for Merlin’s sake!”

“And that’s what everyone adores about you,” Draco interjected softly. “Though I’d like to go on record saying you’re extraordinarily special,” A smile played at his lips. “But things aren’t handed to you like they are Potter. You never had the advantage, and when you did, you used it to rescue the underdog,”

“Draco is right, the Slytherins are quite fond of you,” Snape’s eyes narrowed. “Sometimes I wonder why you weren’t one,”

“Anything’s better than Slytherin,” I muttered without thinking.

Draco laughed beside me, pressing a kiss to my temple. “There’s my Y/n,” He murmured softly. “I was getting a little worried there,”

The day was spent nursing Lucius back to health as best that Draco and I could. My trial of the Unforgivable forgotten for the moment. And I prayed that it would never come. 

When Lucius’ cold grey eyes opened and landed on me, fear gripped my heart. But it was in vain. His hand reached out and covered mine as he nodded once, before closing his eyes once more in rest. Amity fell between us, knowing that there was forgiveness somewhere in my heart for him. Maybe it was a forgiveness that mirrored in Draco’s eyes as I sought him for reassurance.

“Happy birthday, love,” I whispered softly as the hour passed midnight as the two of us stared up at the stars.

“Don’t remind me,” He grumbled, causing me to laugh softly.

“And why not?” I mused, raising an eyebrow at him. “It’s not every day that you turn seventeen,”

“But you really wanna talk about it now?” He dismayed. “It’s not worth celebrating,”

“Look around Draco,” I pressed. “Look at how lucky we are to be alive right now,” Tears stung my eyes as I took his hand holding it tightly. “It’s more than enough to celebrate,”

He hung his head, closing his eyes, his shoulders rising with the deep breath that he took. Laying my head on his shoulder, I pressed to his side.

“It is enough,” He whispered softly, pulling me into his arms. “It’s more than enough,” His weak smile mirrored mine.

Draco’s hands came up and cupped my face softly, pulling me in for a calming kiss, sealing that us being alive was enough. That I was enough. That he was enough. That the quiet night with the fireflies and the stars watching over us was enough.

A letter came for me the next day from Prof—Lupin requesting me at the next Order meeting being held at Fleur and Bill’s cottage on the seaside not far from the Manor that night. The four of us debated whether or not it would be safe for me to go alone, knowing that I would be the only one allowed. And though Draco was hesitant, he urged me to go. A sadness lingered in Snape’s eyes at well, but he agreed. It was only Narcissa who had a qualm.

“They can track her Apparition,” She reasoned gently. “We need to keep the Order safe...” Her eyes met Snape’s, and something passed between them.

“I’ll fly,” I offered off hand. “No one will know that it’s me, and if they think I’m flying, then no one will be able to find me,”

“I’m not sure I follow,” Snape’s monotone voice seemed uninterested, but I could see that the questions burning behind his eyes.

“And that’s how it’ll have to be,” Draco took my hand, “Are you sure you can make the trip on your own?”

“You’re not coming with me, then we’ll be found,” I refuted the hope in his eyes. “I’ll have to go alone,”

And what Snape didn’t see was a white and bronze barn owl taking off toward the sunset, on her way to an Order meeting.

...............

“Lupin?” I gasped out, steadying myself from my transformation.

“Sirius said that you were able to do that... didn’t give much away thought,” Lupin mentioned offhand, almost talking to himself. “What took you so long?”

“Long flight,” I muttered, leaning against the door jamb of the little house. “They can track Apparition. At least mine, I guess.”

“Really?” He seemed surprised.

I nodded and fidgeted with my sweater. “They all hate me, don’t they?”

“It’s quite divided actually,” A smile ghosted at his lips. “Those of us who know you, we don’t, but those who got the story from Harry on the other hand...”

I groaned in defeat and rubbed my face. Then I held my head high and nodded. 

“Alright,” I concluded, “I’m not afraid to face the consequences of my actions.” 

Lupin smiled warmly. “I can see why Sirius liked you.”

“You miss him,”

“Yes,” He paused then continued. “But there is more to life. I’m sure you understand that,”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “Do you think he would have been proud of me? My dad?” I was almost too afraid to ask.

“More than you could ever know,” Lupin appeased. “In fact, that’s why a lot of us are so divided about what to do with you, because your father was in the same situation with your mother,”

“My mother wasn’t a Death Eater,” I muttered. “That complicates things doesn’t it?”

Lupin stared at me like I had two heads. “Y/n, your mother is a Death Eater. Or she was in the first war.”

I froze. My eyes going wide. There must have been true panic or horror on my face because Lupin neared me, placing his hands on my shoulders.

“Y/n, breathe,” Lupin instructed. “I thought you knew,” A soft shake of my head declined his statement.

“Well, that changes things a bit...” Lupin muttered. “We need to talk to Moody,”

“Will you—give me a minute...” I squeaked out, sinking into a kitchen chair. I hung my head in my hands, wishing nothing more to find comfort in Draco’s arms. He would know what to do. He would know what to say.

“What is she doing here?” A snarled voice asked.

Lupin’s arm shot out, holding me back from going off on Harry. Or maybe he was protecting me from Harry. I didn’t know. I wasn’t paying attention. I was too shellshocked.

“She is a part of the Order,” Lupin defended sternly. “She has a rightful place here,”

“So, we’re going to ignore the fact that she aided the murder of Dumbledore!?” Harry shouted.

Silence fell. 

“No,” I whispered softly. “I helped kill Dumbledore,” My voice was soft and broken and obviously not what Harry was expecting. “I helped kill Dumbledore. I’m in love with a Death Eater. I’m the daughter of a Death Eater. I’m the daughter of a member of the Order of the Phoenix. I’m the child of a Slytherin and a Hufflepuff. My father’s dead and my mother’s gone.”

I spoke mainly to myself, but loud enough for everyone else to hear. “And I know that,” My eyes met Harry’s. “So, what are you going to do about it? Berate me? Scream how I don’t belong here? How massively fucked up my life is? Is that what you’re here to tell me?” My voice stayed soft and calm. “Because believe me, I already know,”

My words sapped all of the anger from Harry and caught the attention of the other members of the Order as they filed into the small kitchen. “It’s not about what I am, or where I come from, or who my parents are. It’s what I’m going to do from here on out and what I’ve been trying to do all along.” Again, I met stubborn green eyes. “I’m going to save Draco Malfoy. I’m going to fight for good. And I’m not going to let anyone, or anything stop me,”

There was something I realized about Harry in that moment where we differed immensely. He had no restraint and he never hesitated. He was hot headed and made rash decisions. He took everything that was offered to him and then some. The game he plays he takes and raises stakes without anyone else’s consent. He had an endless uphill just as I did. He had something to prove and almost nothing to lose.

I had everything to lose. Everything that I fought to keep. Everything that I fought to have. If he could thrive in the middle of the struggle, then I’d wait for my time to thrive.

I was willing to wait for it. 

________________________________

“You think I don’t know what I’m doing!?” He roared, near tears. Remus placed a hand on his shoulder and Sirius held James back. “What would you do for Lily, Potter?” He straightened, shaking off Remus.

“My wife isn’t on the wrong side of the war!” James spat.

“It’s easy to love those who love you isn’t it? It’s easy to love the good, isn’t it Potter!?” The words held ice shards. “You think you’d understand. You’re a father as much as I am in this hell, you think I don’t want what’s best for my family!? What will keep them alive!?”

“Boys!” McGonagall shouted reprimanding them. “You two are acting like children. We are on the same side of the war here and unless we work together, we’re not going to survive.” Her stern look silenced them both.

“Walt,” Alice reached out as he went to leave, shifting a small bundle of sleeping blankets in her arms, “Please, we do want you here,” Frank came up behind her, reaching out for him.

“She’s right, Walt.” Frank affirmed. “You deserve your place here with the rest of us,”

“Thank you,” He nodded. “But I need to get home to Elizabeth and hope Y/n hasn’t been giving her too much trouble,” The fire had left from his voice and weariness remained.

The Longbottom’s nodded as he set out into the night, apperating back home. The small farmhouse in the outskirts of town welcomed him home more than any consoling word from the Order ever could. He knew that the two people he loved more than anything in the world were inside that farmhouse. The two people who never questioned him or denied his loyalty.

“Walt?” Elizabeth’s voice chimed up from the nursery.

“Yes, it’s me,” Maybe he didn’t hide his weariness well enough because a soft concerned look was on her face as she met him in the hallway.

“Maybe her and I should...” Elizabeth trailed off. “You wouldn’t have to...”

“You think I’d walk out on you? On our darling girl?” Walter shook his head and pulled his bride into his arms, tucking her head under his chin. “You two are worth more than a war,”

“I love you,” Her voice was broken as she clung to him, unshed tears in both of their eyes.

The soft cry of a babe broke their moment. Walter neared the crib to see a little pouting face start to snivel.

“Oh, now what is the matter?” He cooed softly gathering the child into his arms. “I’m right here sweetheart,”

Rocking her softly, her cries quieted, and large innocent eyes stared up at him. It was those eyes that made everything that James said, or Sirius muttered worth it. Those deep and trusting eyes that held wonder and love in their naivete.

Elizabeth placed a soft hand on his shoulder, and he turned, for the first time seeing the exhaustion on her face. He knew that no matter how harsh James was or how many times he came home feeling defeated, his love had a harder battle to fight. One that wasn’t built on love, and trust, and goodness. But wickedness, cruelty, and evil. He loathed having to see her bare that burden on her shoulders.

“I’ll put her down for the night,” He whispered softly. “You go on to bed. I’ll be there in a moment,”

Alone with his child in a quiet room on a peaceful night, he began to hum softly. He sang of sunshine and happiness in the midst of grey stormy days. When he looked into those eyes he knew for sure that no amount of Dark Magic would affect her soul that was laid bare in her gaze.

And her eyes went from wonder and awe to peace and slumber. Placed in her crib and warded by protection spells and charms and talisman, he headed to his Elizabeth.

She was combing through her long hair, sitting at the mirror in the bathroom. He came up behind her and rubbed her shoulders softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

“How are you feeling?” He murmured softly.

“A little drained, but since having Y/n, and because Narcissa has her little Draco now, they seem very adamant to protect the two of us... you should see Severus stand up against him. He knows that Narcissa and I shouldn’t be doing Dark Magic... then Regulus backs him up and...” She went quiet, lost in the memory.

Curled up in bed, an amity fell over the house.

“Narcissa’s little Draco is just a darling,” Elizabeth spoke softly, curled up into his arms in bed. He could smell the florals and spice of her shampoo linger still in her long damp hair. “Such bright blue eyes. Just turned three months today,”

The days were gentle and calm, though fear came at the on every side. Some nights Walter would be left alone with his little girl, sometimes Elizabeth would. It depended on who had a meeting and where it was safe for their baby girl. And despite her kind nature, even barely a year old, there was worry underneath about what would become of her. It was new generation of Dark Magic, and branding. Two babes had been born from a parent with a Dark Mark, only little Y/n grew inside her mother who was riddled with Dark Magic. The other nurtured by a mother loyal to family.

The tiny babe wrapped in a soft pink knitted blanket had been cradled in Walter’s arms as the next Order meeting went on. Not that he paid much attention. His attention was divided between the warmth his darling offered, rocking her so that she stayed quiet, and then he gave half a mind to Dumbledore speaking about the Dark Lord. And in focusing on his babe, his mind wandered back to the innocence of his own childhood, of meeting his beloved Elizabeth.

~~

She was draped in flowing green, looking as if she belonged in some high-end party, not a dance for grade school. It made his heart skip a beat when his eyes caught hers. Those eyes that held mystery and passion that he adored. They held secret study sessions in the library and elusive nights in the Astronomy Tower, desperate to keep their love a secret from their Houses and the other students.

“Go and talk to her,” Lily nudged his arm.

“You know why I can’t,” Walt sighed. “She’s a Slytherin,”

“Not all Slytherins are so bad...” Lily argued softly. “There’s hope for her too. For both of you,” 

“You really think?” There was hope in his voice.

“Trust me,” Lily smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder. “She’ll love you being you.” Her eyes drifted to the crowd, finding a face that meant nothing to him but everything to her. “Go before you miss your chance. You’ve waited for her long enough,”

He heeded her words and made his way across the grand hall that was dressed for the holidays. She was standing with the Black sisters, two of which moved from his way, and one blocked him.

“What’s an ickle Hufflepuff doing here?” Bellatrix cackled. “You’re not wanted little badger,”

“Bellatrix,” Walter greeted politely. “I’m not here to entertain you, but rather ask for Miss Elizabeth to dance,”

The sisters turned to their honorary sister of House. Her cheeks flushed pink, but there was hope and joy shown in her eyes as she took his outstretched hand.

“Are you sure about this?” She whispered under her breath as he led to her to the dance floor.

“I’ve waited too long to show the rest of the world that I love you,” He affirmed, holding her close as the next waltz began.

Though he knew all eyes were on him and his love, he paid them no mind. Instead he focused on the scent of perfume that was mirrored in Amortentia. He focused on the sound of her pretty laugh and the way she threw her head back in joy. And more than anything he focused on those eyes that held his entire world.

~~

“How long have you known?” Walter asked softly, stroking Elizabeth’s cheek.

“About a month,” She smiled, her hand cradling her stomach.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come home,” There were tears in his eyes.

“I wrote to Dumbledore, but I know you my love, you’ll fight until this war is over,” Tear fell down her cheeks softly. “I’m not sorry,”

“Neither am I,” Walter let out a hopeless laugh as his tears fell, holding his bride close. “How are we supposed to raise a child—”

“Just stay alive, that would be enough,” Elizabeth wrapped her arms around him. “And if this child has a fraction of your smile... of your heart... that would be enough,”

“If they had a fragment of your mind... look out world,” Walter smiled, pressing his lips to her forehead. “That would be enough,”

~~

“Walter?” Frank drew him from his thoughts, from the eyes of his baby girl. Alice mirrored his stance, a smaller bundle of blankets cradled in her arms.

“Will you be our Secret Keeper?” Frank asked with a solemn tone. We need to hide, we need to keep Neville safe,”

Walter nodded; determination mirrored in both father’s eyes. 

________________________

~

My Dearest Andromeda,

I hope that this letter finds you well, and I hope that you will give me the time to read it. I have much to tell you and much to ask that I know I am not allowed nor owed, but I beg of you anyway.

I know that your daughter is now married to Remus Lupin, and to which I congratulate the union. I know that Lupin will be good to her. But that is not why I have written.

My Draco and Y/n are now in very deep with the Death Eaters and I fear for them as I feared for our lives through the first war. And perhaps you understand because you managed to erase yourself from our family and flourished regardless. And for that I apologize and esteem you for.

You remember as well as I do how much our Elizabeth loved Walter, and now by some miracle, their child has been placed in my care after Elizabeth carried out her orders from the Dark Lord to keep her Y/n safe from him. She writes to me even still, asking about her child and is comforted by my words of her success and prosperity, knowing that she can never come back to her daughter while the Dark Lord is alive.

Which is why I beg of you to offer a place for dear Y/n to come and stay. I have offered my home, but the Dark Lord has demanded that the Manor be the base for his Death Eaters, and I cannot allow Y/n to be drawn under such an influence. She is good and I know it in my heart, and you can see it in her eyes, but I fear greatly as to what should occur if the Dark Lord manipulates her any further. She is powerful and has potential and power for great good and evil.

Please dear Andromeda, for the sake of Walter and Elizabeth and the second chance that they both gave the three of us. For their child who was marked from birth as was mine.

Your sister,

Cissy

~ 

______________________________ 

~

Narcissa,

Remus and Nymphadora have told me much about Y/n and the fire she possess in her heart just as her parents did. I have fallen in love with a girl I have not met yet and still I feel as if I am responsible for her as I am for my own Nymphadora.

With a heavy heart I mourn the years lost between us, but I can rejoice that the legacy of Walter and Elizabeth change and alter your heart even still. My heart goes out to Elizabeth as it goes to her daughter, as it goes to you and your son.

She is welcome in my home while school is not in season for her. She will be safe and protected here from the Dark Lord and his claws. I have no doubt that Bellatrix is also a reason for fear in your heart as much as the Dark Lord is. I pray that you come to see the light, and though I know there is barely a hope, I pray that for Bellatrix as well.

Send her at first light my dear Narcissa, 

Your sister,

Andy

~

____________________________

“I have another aunt?” Draco asked.

“Yes,” Narcissa sighed softly. “She was disowned by our parents because she was a blood- traitor, much as Sirius Black was.” A quiet moment. “You also have a cousin, Nymphadora Tonks,”

“Tonks is his cousin!?” I gaped. “Hufflepuff, Auror, Metamorphmagus, Tonks?”

“Yes,” Narcissa nodded, a smile playing at her lips. “It seems that you two have quite a bit in common now that I think about it,”

“And...she’ll be safe there?” Draco asked hesitantly, taking my hand.

“She’ll have a home while she isn’t at Hogwarts,” His mother affirmed. “Now that your father is feeling better and the Dark Lord has decided to make the Manor his headquarters. There may also be a chance that she can escape her fate with Lucius...”

“I can’t stay,” I murmured the realization.

“No, I’m afraid not, but not for the main reason you think my dear,” Narcissa consoled, piquing my interest. Draco and I exchanged a glance and turned back to her. “Whether you knew it or not, you and Draco and connected, since you were born,”

“I��m sorry, what?” We both demanded, looking at each other once more.

“It is quite amusing how fate played out, having you two come together like this but... yes. During the first war there were two babes born with parents holding the Dark Mark that survived. One was paternal, one maternal.” She gauged our reaction.

“But...that doesn’t mean anything... does it?” I asked timid.

“No one knew and no one still knows. It simply means that you two were both destined for something beyond the ordinary,”

“If... we were both born marked,” Draco spoke like he would while walking through a complex spell or potion. “And I have the Dark Mark... wouldn’t that mean that she’s marked for it as well? That fate...” He trailed off, his grey eyes holding fear and discomfort.

“I’m fated for the Dark Mark,” I understood what he couldn’t bring himself to say. “And if I stay here...”

“Your fate would be sealed,” Narcissa sighed softly. “Which is why I need you to go to my sister, and stay away so that you might avoid this,”

I nodded and took Draco’s hand in mine

“I love you,” I whispered softly, just for him. “And I’m not afraid. I know who I chose,” 

“As long as you come back to me,” He nodded.

Wrapped up tightly into his arms, I breathed in deeply, the last time I would be comforted by his arms until September. The beginning of the first chapter I had to write on my own until I found my way back to him.

Epilogue:

“Thank you, for your hospitality,” My voice held a soft tone, already missing Draco’s warmth. 

“Of course, my dear,” Andromeda smiled. “Come,”

She showed me to a spare room that I assumed used to be Tonks’ because even cleaned up, I could see the chaos of her style linger still.

And though I thought I’d never make it through a night alone, let alone three months, somehow, they passed. Like the slow ticking of a clock that didn’t bother to mock me. Instead there was something reminiscent about the summer. Of writing letters to Draco and waiting for his to arrive. To be in a small home filled with happy memories and warmth of muggle books and films and music. It left me in tears more than I cared to admit, because it was something that I never thought would be mine again.

Something I didn’t know that I was waiting for, nor longing for.

Something that made three months seems like mere months, not an eternity waiting.

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Chapter 12

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[samdeancass]

Going Solo

Requested by: ol1veralltheway on Wattpad.

Pairing: Sam x daughter!reader (platonic)

Genre: Fluff, slight Angst

Characters: Sam, Y/N, Jess, Dean, Cas

Description: Y/N is out on her first solo hunt and she has found a spirit in California. However, when she arrives to gank the spirit, she gets more than she bargained for.

“DAD! I’m going now!”

You were putting the final things in your duffel bag ready for your first solo hunt. You were feeling a mixture of excitement and nervousness but you knew that you were more than ready to head out by yourself, especially when you’ve been trained by Sam and Dean Winchester, the two best hunters in the world.

You zipped up your duffel, slung it over your shoulder and headed out of your door towards the war room. Sounds of multiple footsteps started to head towards you and you braced yourself for an emotional goodbye. You placed the duffel on the table and turned around to face the three men who stood behind you.

Your uncle and Cas were standing on either side of Sam, proud but saddened smiles on their faces. Your dad, on the other hand, was taking it a little harder. Tears were already forming in the corners of his eyes as he took in your whole appearance: flannel shirt, jeans and a pair of sturdy boots, complete with the amulet that Dean wore all those years ago.

Sam gave a watery smile before walking towards you, engulfing you into a hug. He kissed the top of your head and looked you dead in the eyes, as if he was taking in your facial features for his lasting memory. 

“Promise me, baby, you’ll be careful. I really can’t lose anybody else to this life.” You nodded slowly and gave your father one last hug before grabbing your duffel off the table and heading towards Dean and Cas. “Take care of him, please. He’s going to need you to lean on while I’m gone. And don’t let him worry too much. After all, I’ve had the two best hunters train me and I’ll always have an angel by my side.” You gave Cas a little wink which caused his cheeks to blush a little. 

Walking back past your father, you gave him one last hug before entering the garage and heading towards your car, slinging the duffel into the backseat. You got into the car and placed both hands on the steering wheel, letting out a deep breath to calm your nerves. You knew that you’d be nervous about your first hunt, but you couldn’t let that get in the way of the job. You turned the key in the ignition and revved the engine before driving out of the garage and towards California, where your first case was situated.

You rolled into the motels parking lot and exited the car, unbuttoning the top button of your shirt. You had just questioned a witness who swore blind that they seen a blonde haired ghost in a university dorm room, but you just couldn’t see it. You needed advice and who better to turn to than your dad and uncle. You entered your hotel room and threw your belongings on the bed before sitting at the table and dialling your dads number.

Sams phone vibrated on the table and your name flashed on the screen. Immediately, Sam leaped forward and answered the call, placing you on loudspeaker. “Hello? Y/N, are you ok?” Dean leaned forward on the table, defensiveness taking over his posture. “I’m fine, I just need some advice.” Sam and Dean both fell back against their chairs with relief and let out breaths they hadn’t realised they were holding. “Ok, what have you got?”

Once you had explained the basics of the case to the brothers, Sam made sure to put your mind at rest. “It sounds like a simple salt and burn to me, Y/N. Where did you say your case was?” “In Cali, Stanford University to be exact. Isn’t that where you went for a while, dad?” 

Sam and Deans heads both shot up to look at each other as realisation washed over their faces. “Yes, sweetheart. But listen...” “Ok, Dad. I’ve gotta go, I’m burning daylight.” Before Sam could respond, the line went dead. Sam looked up at Dean with a stern look on his face. “We have to go. NOW.” 

After doing a little more research, you felt confident about the case you were on. You drove into the parking lot of the University before surveying your surroundings. There weren’t many students around which made it easier for you to slip in and out unnoticed. You got out of the car and headed into the building, anxiety starting to creep into your body. As you walked up the winding staircase, you could slowly feel the air getting colder which was a tell tale sign of a ghostly presence. Grabbing your iron knife in your palm, you slowly crept up the rest of the staircase towards the haunted dorm room.

Your hand wavered above the doorknob, your heart beating wildly in your chest. You let out a deep breath and opened the door, revealing an empty bedroom surrounded in darkness. You reached around the wall and switched on the light but your breath was took away by something in the corner of the room.

“Step on it, Dean! We’re gonna be too late if you keep driving like an old man!” 

Dean shot Sam an angry look before pressing harder on the accelerator, pushing the car to go faster and faster down the winding highway with rain splashing against the windshield.

“Sam, do you really think it could be her? It’s been nearly 20 years. Surely it can’t be.”

Sam sighed and looked out of the window. “I don’t know, Dean. But every inch of my body is telling me that something isn’t right.”

Your mouth hung open in shock as the figure turned around to reveal somebody that you had only seen in photos with your dad. “Jessica? Jessica Moore?” The blonde hair gently cradled her features, even as she walked slowly towards you. Your hand gripped the knife tighter and your heart was hammering against your ribcage as Jess edged closer and closer towards you.

She was stood toe to toe with you as she narrowed her eyes at you, taking in every inch of your features. She lifted a hand to your cheek and rubbed her thumb across it, causing a sharp shiver to run down your spine. She smiled gently before stepping back slightly.

“You remind me of someone. Somebody I loved a long time ago. Sam Winchester. He was the best man I had ever known, but he didn’t tell me what was really going on in the world, in his life, which is what got me killed right in this room.” Jess looked up at the ceiling and grimaced slightly as the memories of that fateful night haunted her. “I was killed, by a demon that was out to get Sam. I was just in the way, so he just murdered me with the flick of his finger.” 

She walked across the room and sat on the corner of the bed, her head hung low. Your face saddened as you seen her broken form slouched over. You slowly edged away from the wall and walked over to Jess, sitting right beside her.

“I know what happened to you, my father told me all about it. He told me about you. You were the most important person to him, he still thinks about you all the time.” Jess turned to look at you, confusion littering her features. “He regrets not telling you about his life because if he did, he knows that you would still be alive now.” Realisation slowly revealed itself on Jess’s face as you kept talking. “Jess, Sam Winchester is my father.”

Rage took over the confusion as Jess slammed you against the wall, knocking the blade out of your hand. You could feel your throat slowly closing up as Jess walked towards you, her hands magically squeezing. “Why did he get to live his life whilst I was stuck here, not able to do anything?! I’M DEAD BECAUSE OF HIM SO NOW I’M GOING TO MAKE HIM PAY! I’M GOING TO KILL THE ONE PERSON HE HOLDS DEAR!” 

Your throat tightened some more as Jess squeezed tighter. You were struggling to breathe, your vision turning blurry. You were nearly dead when two large figures burst through the door and shots were fired.

Sam looked around the room and found you slumped on the floor, gasping for breath. He ran over and knelt down beside your shaking frame, placing his hand on your back. 

“Hey, I’m here now. You’re ok.” You slowly sat up and engulfed your dad in a hug, crying into his chest. He kissed the top of your head and ran his fingers through your hair in an effort to calm you down. 

“Guys, we really need to go before she comes back. We need to salt and burn her bones.” Sam nodded and slowly helped you to your feet, you leaning on him for support. As you were both walking towards the doorway, the air began to get colder and you knew that your dad had noticed the change to. He stiffened slightly and pushed you the rest of the distance towards the door.

“Go with Dean, Y/N. I’ll be fine.” You looked at him, wide-eyed and frightened as Dean gathered you in his arms. “You guys salt and burn her bones, I’ll keep her busy. It’s me that she wants.” 

Dean hesitated slightly before nodding, running down the staircase with you in his arms. Sam let out a deep breath and turned around ready to face the one person he never wanted to see in this way.

Sam flinched as the door slammed shut behind him and the ghostly figure appeared before him. He let out a soft cry as he seen her walking towards him, her blonde hair flowing behind her. He was absolutely speechless, he never expected to see her again, let alone like this. 

She walked towards him, smiling softly. Tears began to fall down Sams cheeks which she quickly wiped away. “My Sammy, I never thought I’d see you again.” She placed her hand against his cheek which he leaned in to, even though it was icy cold.

He placed his hand on top of hers and rubbed his thumb over the skin. “I wish it was under better circumstances. I never thought I’d be the one to kill you a second time.” 

Jess’s soft expression soon turned to anger as Sam finished his sentence. She grabbed him by the throat and threw him against the wall, taking the breath out of him. She flew up to his crumpled form and forced him to look at her. “I was killed the first time because of you, and your lies. If you had told me what was really going on, I would still be alive. We could have had a life together, Sammy, just me and you. But you picked your brother over me and left me here alone to die.”

Sam shook his head as cries wracked his body. She was telling him everything that he already knew, the thoughts that had been plaguing him for years. “I’m sorry, Jess. I just wanted to protect you from that life, I wanted to live normally with the girl that I loved. You are the love of my life, Jess, and you always will be.”

He looked up at her through watery eyelashes and he seen her posture deflate a little. However, this didn’t last long as she began to attack again, the rage taking over her body. Pain soared through every inch of Sams body as Jess attacked him.

His vision was beginning to blacken when screams filled the room. Sam hesitantly looked up to find Jess’s spirit burning in flames, indicating that you and Dean had burned her bones. Sam let out a sigh of relief and got to his feet, limping out of the room.

The rumble of the Impala engine abruptly stopped when you and Dean both arrived back at the University. You immediately spotted your dads figure in the entrance of the building and flew out of the car towards him. 

Your body collided with his, causing him to grunt in pain. You looked up at him with worry in your eyes but his small smile told you he was Ok. Dean ran up beside you and flung Sams arm over his shoulder.

“Boy, I never thought you would get beaten up by a girl.” You shot Dean a dirty look before whacking him upside the head. Sam and you both chuckled as Dean whispered something under his breath. You and your dad slid into the backseat as Dean sat in the front.

“So, you wanna tell us what happened in there?” Sam closed his eyes and shook his head, letting out shaky breaths. “No. There are some things that she said that have really messed me up. I need to think about them before I can tell either of you.” 

Both you and Dean nodded in understanding. Music blasted out of the speakers as Dean turned the key in the ignition and drove out of the parking lot. 

You never thought that your first solo hunt would end up with you meeting the ghost of your dads ex-girlfriend who was killed by the demon who hunted him down. You were thankful that your dad had called you when he did, otherwise you didn’t know what would have happened to you. 

[petri808]

Bakudeku canon divergent, vampire quirk AU

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24

When Bakugou finally woke up in the Ena City Hospital, his head was splitting worse than a punch from Kirishima in full quirk, and ears rang with the force of all 108 New Year’s bell tolls. If he’d had no memory of the night before, Bakugou swore he’d just survived the worst hangover in history. Even his eyes hurt from the bright, piercing fluorescent lights and they weren’t even open! He turned his head to the side, noticing how much effort it took just to shift in such a small manner. It was as if his body was drained of... “Ugh, that bastard,” he groaned. ‘Fucker bit me.’ And as if to add insult to injury, a pin-prick pain in his neck revealed itself in that revelation.

His arm flopped up, hand straining with jerky strokes, reaching to touch the fresh bite wound located at the junction of his neck and shoulder. He flinched at the tender, bruising pain that sent a shock down his spine. Son-of— This just in! Pro Hero Dynamite cast in one of those cliché vampire movies that went straight to video. Definitely not the career start he’d envisioned.

“Oh, good you’re finally awake Mr. Bakugou.”

“Who the fuck are you?” he spat at the male voice. “And can someone turn the fucking lights off?!”

“I am Doctor Ishihira, and my apologies,” the doctor flicked off the overhead light. “Is that better?”

“Yeah,” he grumped.

“Mr. Bakugou, you were found yesterday morning and brought in suffering from hypovolemic shock due to severe blood loss and dehydration. We’ve treated you with 3 liters of IV fluids and blood plasma to bring your numbers back up, however you’ll still be groggy until your body replenishes the nutrients you were stripped of.”

Over a day had passed! At hearing he’d been out cold for so long, Bakugou immediately clenched his fists, swearing up and down about being released until they threatened to sedate him for longer. Longer?! He begrudgingly relented and settled down, but damn it! That meant Midoriya had another head start on him again! And now that the man knew he was on his trail, finding him would be a lot more difficult!

“What the hell is hypo-whatever shock?” Bakugou questioned.

“When you were found, you were in and out of consciousness and rambling incoherently, all signs of severe blood loss. The fatigue you’re still feeling is also due to the effects of it. Luckily the amount of loss wasn’t enough to start shutting down your organs.”

The doctor continued explaining a few more details regardless of the tantrum like a robot. Minor injuries he’d been treated for. The obvious puncture wounds in his neck, questioning Bakugou about any description he could provide of his attacker. He wasn’t about to tell this doctor or any authority figure who the true culprit was, so he feigned a temporary retrograde amnesia. Based on a raised brow, peering over his glass’s expression, the doctor didn’t look very convinced. Oh well, Bakugou really didn’t care about the man’s opinion.

“Mr. Bakugou, we also called you parents…”

“You what?!” Bakugou tried to jump off the bed, but his body absolutely refused to respond and ended up flopping like a dying fish. Ugh! He really was worse off than he’d thought.

“I’m sorry, but you are a minor, so we were obligated to do so. However, they did give us permission to treat and release you on your own recognizance once we felt you were better.”

Well, that was good news. ‘Sounds like mom actually listened to my letter.’ Or the authorities surely would have shown up by now. “Ugh! So, how much longer am I stuck here?”

“If you continue to recover well, tomorrow morning.”

Fuck! Now a three-day head start! Just great, he groaned. Midoriya could get far away with that kind of a jump start. “Fine, whatever! Now go the fuck away.”

The doctor left the room after explaining how nurses will be monitoring his progress, but to also let them know if anything started to feel worse. They needed to know if he developed any lasting effects from organ damage. Once he was alone again, Bakugou rolled gingerly onto his side as his mind processed the new information. Whatever Midoriya had been hit with must be the cause of this weird blood thirst that resembled a goddamn vampire plot line. Perhaps the significance of the blood coloring in his eyes was a sign of that thirst taking hold? That’ll be a handy tell, too bad it seemed to appear within seconds of the next step.

But if Midoriya had just fed on a victim, and history showed at times, a span of days before the next incident, what had caused his friend to attack him so fast? Was this thirst like a hunger? And what happens when you exercise or exert yourself? You use up energy. ‘Duh, Katsuki.’ Fighting and expending all that energy must have triggered the attack. ‘Wow, it burns fast.’ That meant Midoriya probably struggled to control this thirst, and that’s why he was pleading for him to leave him alone. But sorry, he couldn’t do that. ‘Fucker shouldn’t have run!’ One way or another he is getting his friend back home where he belonged. In fact, this only made his drive to find Midoriya stronger because he felt like he was partially to blame for the predicament his friend was in. The guy had to be scared, freaked out, and lonely. Bakugou’s heart clenched at the thought. He knew his friend was a social person by nature who loved being around friends and family. To be stuck out here all by himself and too frightened because of whatever this new quirk was had to be horrible… and utterly not fair. Of course, he did have a tendency to isolate himself when he feared…

Bakugou groaned. “Kami, not again with this shit!” When was Midoriya gonna learn to stop running away!

As his eyes relented to the fatigue and his mind slipped back into unconsciousness, Bakugou could only pray he’ll get a lead as soon as he got out of this hospital. This strange new quirk, if that’s really what it was, posed a serious danger not only to Midoriya, but the public. The reputation of pro hero’s had taken a major hit already because of AFO and the league, so if the public found out about a blood drinking hero attacking people… ‘I gotta get you out of here…’

After his encounter with Bakugou, Midoriya had rushed out of town as quickly as possible. Tears poured down his cheeks as he took off into the sky from having given in to the lust of this uncontrollable quirk. But he couldn’t stop it even if he’d wanted to. He’d learned the hard way right at the beginning that once it took hold of his mind, the only thing he could do was give-in or succumb to an even worse ravenous state that literally hurt. The pain of holding out on the hunger made him feel like a starved predatory animal that tore at his insides until he relented. In this state, the blood of any creature that came too close became a meal. But it was never enough. Animal blood didn’t satiate him in the same way that human blood did. Plus, he worried that if he let it get completely out of control, he might just end up killing someone. So far, he’d been lucky to leave them all unconscious but alive.

It was obvious that the light AFO had hit him with contained this strange quirk. How ironic, to take down a villain, only to be turned into one. That’s how Midoriya felt. How else could he feel? A hero wouldn’t hurt other people, so by taking the blood of others for sustenance, that made him a villain. Therefore, he couldn’t be a hero anymore. It must have been AFO’s plan all along once he’d realized he was losing. The villains end goal was to ruin hero society and this was definitely one way to do it. Take out his primary rival. The man poised to carry on a torch of safety and security, and snuff out any who chose to do harm… The whole situation with Bakugou really turned this into a nightmare out of body experience. To see his friend’s eyes suddenly show fear, then fade away the more he drank… his mouth clamped to the man’s neck… it was a horrible imagine that was sure to haunt him. He could still smell the burnt cinnamon from such a close encounter. If only he had clothes to change into or even a pond to bathe in, because that lingering scent was gonna drive him mad!

Midoriya curled up and clenched his eyes shut tight in an abandoned and overgrown castle he’d found outside of Ena. It didn’t look like it’s been maintained for a very long time, so the likelihood of a human showing up seemed low. He knew he should have travelled farther away, but he was too tired, too upset and just wanted to quit. All the years of growing up quirkless, to gain OFA and become the very thing he’d dreamt of, only for those dreams to be dashed again. It was as if life just didn’t want him to be a real hero. Maybe he should just put himself out of his misery, and yet— he couldn’t do it. To die out here alone where no one knew where he was or what had become of him, that wasn’t fair to his family and friends…

They must be so worried about him right now. His poor mother didn’t deserve any of this. Would his friends look down on him now? And All Might, his idol, who’d taken him under his wing, was he disappointed? And that just left Bakugou. He’d said the truth in answering the man’s question. No, Midoriya never would have expected him to come looking. Katsuki Bakugou giving a damn about him? Yeah, right. Bakugou wasn’t doing this because he cared. There was always a selfish reason behind his madness. Fear. Anger. Jealousy. Shouldn’t big bad Dynamight be thrilled that his biggest rival was gone?

Okay that was a big, fat white lie he’d been telling himself for the last two years. He knew Bakugou had moved past those pettier behaviors, but it was simply easier to believe and keep their relationship as rivals than to hope his childhood friend would ever see him as something else. And yet… ‘Kacchan was genuinely surprised by my answer. Did he really come looking for me because he cared that much?’ Yet in what way? Why was the man trying so hard? Did he… ‘miss me?’

Midoriya shook his head violently of those thoughts. No, no, he didn’t want to believe that because it would make this situation even more unbearable than it already was! He’d already given up everything he’d ever loved. His hopes and dreams, a future and losing an affection he’d craved for years would just simply be too much.