#A LITTLE DEMONIC MIRACLE OF MY OWN. ( save )

[beauspot]

Thoughts on my second watch of Good Omens 2

i heard the fly buzzing in my first watch but didn’t know why and now i know

Maggie my sweet darling angel baby i love you

Aziraphale turning their car yellow

crowleys “no more dying” in extreme scottish.

Disposable Demon i’ll save you from these awful people i promise 😭

Aziraphale’s little smile when he says “smitten” to Crowley

i wonder if crowley was especially hurt because aziraphale seemed to be able to forgive gabriel who tried to kill him but can’t seem to forgive him being a demon.(still seeing all of this as a metaphor for internalized homophobia, like aziraphale knows he’s not the perfect angel he wants to be and he’s projecting his feelings about that onto crowley)

I can’t believe we got an actual ball. like pride and prejudice, bridgerton ball.

the beautiful score that started playing when aziraphale brought the chandelier down

i didn’t even realize that when they walked in the outfits changed. mrs sandwich made me realize(also i love her)

Nina being the only one to question the weird magical shit Aziraphale and Crowley do sends me so bad.

Season 2 took everything i liked about the first season (aziracrow, queer subtext, gay people, archangels, and beelzebub) and expanded on it

The adorable smile on Aziraphales face when he asked Crowley to dance 😭 he’s so pure(i should have known something was up, everything was going too well)

Crowley saying i won’t leave you on your own and Aziraphale saying i know 🤒

why isn’t aziraphale able to miracle nina and maggie??

crowley and mrs sandwich flirting. too cute

crowley saying he’s neither nice nor a lad.

crowleys little run in heaven when he’s following muriel

maggie giving the middle finger to the demons and laughing in their face when they tried to belittle her. queen

defensive aziraphale is so badass. just because he’s soft doesn’t mean he can’t stand up for himself or the people he loves

the random guitar solo in the final episode theme is so bizarre to me. why is it there?

ahh the raining hearts symbolizing crowleys vavoom plan!

crowley’s heavenly outfit not being white but “light grey”

the relief in aziraphale’s voice when crowley came back 😀

also him mumbling about the halo like he did with the sword 😭 but he sure loves to boast about the things he’s done right to crowley

aziraphale and crowley doing magic together has the power to set off alarm bells in heaven and they barely tried, they’re just in sync

saraqael was such a good addition to the cast.

crowley smiling at aziraphale going off on the angels and demons

“where beelzebub is, is my Heaven.” 🥹

the little knowing look after crowley mentions alpha centauri

the way they just interrupted michael’s speech by leaving 😭

i think that aziraphale was about to ask crowley to move in but that’s my opinion

the look the metatron gave crowley is so strange. i don’t like that

“JUST US. NOT YOU.”

“You’re not helping, angel.”

the softness in aziraphale’s voice when he talked about making crowley an angel again? how can you hate him! he thought he was doing the right thing!

also the miscommunication these two have is completely out of hand because crowley asked aziraphale if he said no and aziraphale hadn’t given an answer AT ALL to the metatron. the metatron told him to take his time. he went back to tell crowley the news first.

crowleys confession makes my stomach hurt. the way his voice broke when he said “we’ve spent our existence pretending that we aren’t.”. the way he had to force himself past his anxiety to tell aziraphale he wanted to spend eternity with him? fuck.

the way aziraphale tells crowley to come with him. like and through all of this they are losing each other, oh my god.

“i need you!” god aziraphale punch me in the face next time why don’t you?

i feel like in all this anger towards aziraphale a lot of people are ignoring that he put himself out there too. he was telling crowley he needed him just like crowley was

“no nightingales.” FUCK YOU GAIMAN

the way aziraphale touched his lips after. dear GOD. someone get michael sheen an emmy

seeing aziraphale struggle against his wanting to kiss crowley back and his fear and wanting him to come back to heaven further supports my internalized homophobia analogy

also even knowing the kiss was going to happen because of the spoiler it still didn’t quell my shock. nor did it ruin the scene, i think it actually surprised me more because it did not happen how i thought it would.

side note i saw some people saying they thought the kiss was going to be a cop out in some way. like a body swap or as a joke and i don’t really know why?

it just occurred to me that both aziraphale and crowley thought the other one was just doing that thing they do where they say they won’t help, or they’re on their own but they eventually come back not knowing that the other was completely set on these plans they had. this wasn’t like armageddon or saving gabriel.

the second coming…of jesus…

crowley cutting off “a nightingale sang in berkeley square”...i’m gonna jump

this being the ending for the next 3-4 years. oh.

[mediacircuspod]

Okay so I know that we’re all upset at Aziraphale for this because of very obvious reasons. But can we take a minute to really look at where exactly he’s coming from? Because we only have Crowley’s perspective on the fall because we’ve only ever seen Crowley talk about it before. At least in his vague but colorful ways. Ex; Sauntering vaguely downwards, boiling pool of sulfur, etc.

But this season we get a little bit more on what Aziraphale thinks about Crowley becoming a demon.

And well. Aziraphale thinks that it was a mistake. More below the cut…

Full stop. Aziraphale thinks heaven was wrong about Crowley. He thinks God was wrong about Crowley. We see this in a few key scenes in both Seasons.

Let’s go Chronologically.

Job. Because I’ll never stop talking about the Job minisode. When Aziraphale’s caution is ignored in heaven, he goes to convince Crowley to stop and ignore the will of Heaven and Hell. (He doesn’t take into account that if Crowley doesn’t do the killing, another entity undoubtedly will.)

It’s the “I know you” and “I know [who] you were.” It’s the “I don’t think you want to do this.”

He had faith, even then, that Crowley would do what was right.

It’s the absolute and joyful giddiness of finding out that he’s right. That Crowley saved the goats, and probably the other creatures. That Crowley is going in that very beautiful house in order to save the children.

It’s the tragedy of Jemimah asking if Crowley is a demon and Aziraphale answering “Technically”. Crowley answers too, and he knows that there’s nothing technical about his state of being.

It’s the “you’re a little bit on our side”. And for all that Crowley denies, denies, and denies—Aziraphale doesn’t actually hear him. He hears “Yes. But I’m not an angel though, am I?” Aziraphale interprets, “I’m on my side” as “I’m not permitted to be on heaven’s side”.

In Rome, he extends Crowley an invitation to eat with him. He forgets himself. Tempting is Crowley’s job. He has to remind himself that Crowley is a demon, even if he’s a good person.

When they meet to watch one of Shakespeare’s gloomy ones, he looks to Crowley to do him a favor, and Crowley does. Without fuss. Just to see Aziraphale happy. Aziraphale smiles at this with familiar excitement. And a knowing look. (I want to shake him and screech, “Being good is not the same as being Good”)

Scotland. Crowley does a very good thing in this minisode, and he faces a very serious punishment for doing that good thing. Aziraphale can do nothing because Crowley is a demon who is good. And that is not a virtue in Hell, and the angel is confronted with the fact that Hell is not safe for Crowley. That hell will never be safe for Crowley, and we begin to see Aziraphale seriously worry about the arrangement and what it could mean for Crowley from this moment on.

And then we see a lot of Crowley saving Aziraphale from various scrapes and bad situations. We see Aziraphale refusing to give Crowley access to dangerous materials and then giving in so he doesn’t fall into more danger.

Aziraphale not only wants Crowley safe, he wants Crowley saved.

And at the end of season 1 and the majority of Season 2, Aziraphale embraces who he and Crowley are together. And he’s genuinely joyful about it, even with an undercurrent of sorrow he feels from being disconnected from heaven. We get hints of this throughout the second season… “You need to tell someone about something clever you did before you pop” “I can’t report to heaven anymore” “I’m afraid I’m out of miracles right now”.

This is the whole point; he never stops wanting to be good. And he never stops believing in Crowley’s goodness, either. Maybe even more than his own. (Aziraphale has to convince himself of his own righteousness almost as much as he has had to convince himself of Crowley’s evilness.)

And this brings us back to THE SCENE. Because right before Aziraphale makes his offer to Crowley. The Metatron has to make the offer to Aziraphale. And The Metatron plays Aziraphale like a fiddle.

The Metatron plays his cards exactly as he should right from the beginning, with ordering Aziraphale a coffee and making him drink it. It’s a subtextual threat, and Aziraphale probably doesn’t realize it, but Nina’s coffee shop is called “Give me coffee or give me death”. The coffee doubles as a gift from the Metatron to endear himself to Aziraphale and also as a signal to the audience that this guy is a very big deal, as well as a very big threat.

And then the Metatron separates our two entities from one another. Crowley has always given Aziraphale more courage when it comes to defiance, so Metatron invites Aziraphale away from the safety of his home(both the bookshop AND Crowley).

And then. And this is the Kicker.

The Metatron apologizes.

Not in the usual way humans do, but in the way that Crowley and Aziraphale do. By saying, I was wrong. You were right.

The Metatron praises Aziraphale. We were wrong about you.

The Metatron says that the only candidate for Supreme Archangel is him. You are heavenly.

The Metatron offers Aziraphale a way to bring Crowley with him. To bring Crowley back. We were wrong about Crowley.

Aziraphale looks at the Metatron in the face as the voice of God says Crowley’s fall was a mistake, and you can make it right. (The Metatron doesn’t actually say that in those words, but they ARE the words Aziraphale hears.)

So of course he’s excited to tell Crowley. Surely Crowley knows that his fall was a mistake too. Surely this is excellent news. The best news they’ve been given in a while. They were right after all. They can fix it. Together.

But then Crowley says no. And just as much as we think Aziraphale rejected Crowley—which of course, yes, he did—Crowley rejected Aziraphale too. And Aziraphale doesn’t understand why.

(And Holy Crap Aziraphale IS WRONG. Okay he’s wrong and it’s crazy, but I can follow the line right from before the beginning. Neil Gaiman and company, you are absolutely fantastic writers, I love how wrong they both are, and I love how wonderful they’re both trying to be, this was an incredible season.)

[somehow-a-human]

Whose POV is it Anyway?

A Companion to Owls.

DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT FAN THEORY

Job 30:29-31 I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. My skin is black upon me and my bones are burned with heat. My harp also is turned to mourning, and my organ into the voice of them that weep.

Continuing my analysis of the narrator/POV perspective of Good Omens season two with a look at the episode 2 minisode set in 2500 BC, Uz. God, I love this minisode.

For reference & context, I recommend reading these posts:

Whose POV is it Anyway? - Introduction

Lens Filters

POV "Your 'Something's Wrong' Voice"

POV a Trip to Hell and a 25 Lazarii Miracle

We open our journey into the land of Uz with Crowley giving Job's goats a speech that sounds awfully similar to his own troubled relationship with The Almighty. Crowley is alone here. The episode cold-opens and we've had no lead up to suggest otherwise, so this is Crowley's POV. His hair is short and more vibrant, I'd say this is likely the Black Diffusion FX filter.

Yes for the sake of this post I am doubling down on the fact that there are TWO SEPARATE WIGS. See more here.

Aziraphale arrives, he looks cute and silly, the permit is long, the goats are "destroyed" and they part ways.

The next scene we get is Aziraphale in heaven checking with Muriel and the Archangels that the permit Crowley has is in fact legitimate. This time, we are seeing Aziraphale's POV. Heaven is a stark white office building but the golden hue is almost overwhelming in this flashback. The Bronze Glimmer Glass filter is clearly being used here.

Aziraphale decides he's going to confront Crowley about saving the children, little does he know Crowley wouldn't harm them to begin with but regardless...

When we re-enter the minisode, we do so via a subtle zoom in on Crowley's face in modern day. We then enter the scene through Aziraphale's illustrated Bible and see Crowley asking Job where his kids are. We've again lost the golden glow of the BGG filter, moved back to the BDFX filter and into Crowley's POV. Crowley's hair is still short, Aziraphale isn't present here, he's alone, so these are his memories.

When we see Crowley walking up to the house to find the kids we have switched back to Aziraphale's POV. The scene is extremely warmly lit, it's soft and yellow, and Crowley is now in a different wig. His hair is much longer, softer and more attractive looking. In one of the X-Ray behind the Scenes videos I even caught a screenshot of the film slate from this scene and you can clearly that they've written in BGG as the filter used, so we have confirmation.

We continue through the Job minisode in Aziraphale's POV. The reveal of the goats, saving the kids, the ox rib temptation, the first conversation about loneliness, it's all from Aziraphale's POV. until after he "comes to" in the bookshop in present day.

When we revisit the minisode, and for the remainder of it we are seeing it from Crowley's POV which was an interesting thing to realize. We see Crowley and Aziraphale witness Job speaking with God, saving Jobs children, deceiving the Archangels, and having their emotionally revealing conversation overlooking the beautiful sea all from Crowley's POV. His hair remains short and more vibrant red throughout all of it, we don't see the return of his long long gingery waves. The lighting when the angels are present for the children's "resurrection" is very warm but I'm going to chalk that up to the Heavenly Hosts presence.

It makes sense that this reaction is Crowley's POV. Silly silly angel, did a good deed and thinks he's a demon?! But then he realizes how upset Aziraphale is, how scared and he comforts him. He tells him he isn't going to do anything that would hurt him, that would get him in trouble. Then, something about the fact that what follows is also from Crowley's memories, his perspective...

"That sounds..."

"Lonely? Yeah."

"But you said it wasn't."

"I'm a demon. I lied."

NEXT POV The Dirty Donkey & I think I Found a *Clue*!

[hyog-blog]

Zhao Yuanzhou and His Depression

Can we just stop for a second to appreciate the sheer scope of Zhao Yuanzhou's tragedy? Like, the man literally didn't want to live. And he was looking for death not to make some huge-ass sacrifice to save humanity and all, but first and foremost, he didn't want to continue his existence because of how painful and unbearable it was.

This, I think, puts his inability to deal with Li Lun (or any other more or less emotional thing for that matter) in a whole new perspective. ZYZ's mental capacity was enough to only plan his own death. When we first see him he's a ticking suicide bomb. Can we even blame him for being weak/inattentive/lacking compassion/unable to face Li Lun's own grief and pain at this point?

I don't think we actually get the sheer scope of it for Zhao Yuanzhou. That he was actually able to smile and find happiness within the Demon Hunting Bureau was truly a miracle (for him and for everyone else involved, that they got to see that side of him).

For him to get healed to the point he actually let someone else into his heart (both Wen Xiao and Zhuo Yichen, and that little demon-hunting squad of theirs) is a real wonder. For him, who deemed himself unworthy to continue breathing on this earth any longer.

That's why in the first episodes, whenever there's danger, he's willing to take any kind of damage himself. Because he's punishing himself both physically and mentally. He literally stabbed himself in the heart when he first met Zhuo Yichen for those reasons as well (like, he wouldn't die from it, but it would still hurt like crazy).

Ah, that man, that character D: My heart is still bleeding for him.

[rea-grimm]

Sleep protector Zoro

Lately, you've been suffering from terrible nightmares. But you didn't understand why. You weren't under stress, there was nothing that particularly bothered you.

They came out of nowhere like a bolt from the blue. However, they were such nightmares that you were woken up by your own screams.

You didn't deal with it the first few days. You thought you'd get over it on your own. But that didn't happen. Instead, you started getting giant circles under your eyes, and sleep gave you no energy at all. Slowly, the people around you started to see it.

You had another long shift ahead of you and wondered how you were going to get through it. When it was a busy hour, it was fine. You didn't have time to think about being tired.

But when there were few guests, they were worse. How many times have you caught yourself leaning on your arm and your eyelids drooping?

But now it was such a more comfortable evening. Not a few people and not a lot of people. Such an ideal, when you managed to serve customers and your colleague unpacked the goods that arrived in the morning.

"Should I take off my shoes? So that you don't swallow me," your colleague asked you with a laugh as you covered your mouth and yawned. “Hey, if you want to take the day off, just say,” he smiled at you and placed a hand on your shoulder. 

You just shook your head over it. You didn't need any time off. You've had enough. In addition, you were able to react well here at work.

"I understand, but if you ever wanted to chat over a glass or cup of coffee, I'm here for you," he said encouragingly, before returning to unpacking again.

"Look at this. Isn't he cute?” your colleague asked you as he placed a box of booze next to the bar that he wanted to refill. Shuffled among the bottles was a green teddy bear in a green coat with a red sash.

The teddy bear looked dishevelled. You took him in your hands when you noticed that one of his eyes was missing. The place had a stretchy scar in that place as if someone had sown it there.

"Keep him. Maybe this little fur ball will protect you from the nightmares,” he said with a smile as he levelled the bottles.

"If so, it would be a miracle," you answered sceptically, but you kept him anyway.

You returned home a little after 3 in the morning. You fell into bed and pulled your stuffed animal closer to you. For how dishevelled and rough he looked, he was surprisingly soft. After a long time, you fell asleep like nothing.

At first, it looked like you were going to wake up again because of the nightmare that was tyrannizing you. At worst, a young man in a green coat appeared there like a bolt from the blue with 3 swords and cut your night demons as if they were made of paper.

The night fury had dissipated, but new ones could be seen forming on the horizon. The young man assessed the situation and put away his swords before taking you in his arms and running away with you.

You had no idea where he was running and at one point you were afraid you were running towards them. You finally ran away from them and hid in a pub. On the one hand, it reminded you of the bar you worked in, and on the other hand, you knew deep down that it was a completely different bar.

You had no idea that you would sleep this well again. The nightmares were slowly disappearing, but they kept bothering you. The young man with the green hair always had to save you.

Thanks to him, you slowly learned to control your dreams at least partially. Or rather, you weren't just a meadow of your wild imagination, you were free to roam.

Thanks to this, you slept better and were full of energy during the day. You were even in the mood to go to the gym after a long time and elsewhere, where you haven't been able to get to recently.

In the end, you decided to go to the gym. You slipped into your sports clothes and went to the first machine.

You decided to try dumbbells too. You put on the weights and started lifting. You made it through a few sets when you started to feel tired.

However, you wanted to finish the set when you missed lifting it 3 times for the last time. You managed it with effort, but you had a lot to do to put the barbell back in the rack. You threatened to drop her on you.

You tried to throw her to the ground, but your hands slowly gave up. You feared the worst when some kind soul saved you. That someone grabbed the barbell and returned it to the supports with ease.

You breathed a sigh of relief and sat up. To your surprise, it was the same green-haired young man from your dreams. But now he was wearing black pants with a white T-shirt.

"Thanks, I thought it was my end," you thanked him.

"No problems. But you should be more careful next time," he replied before going his own way.

You took a moment to rest before heading to the next machine. This time on the treadmill. There weren't many women in the gym and you could feel other people's eyes on you. It was not very pleasant for you, but every time you turned around, they acted as if nothing had happened.

You sighed and focused on running instead. After a while, however, you started to feel their looks again. You wanted to yell at them when it was all over.

You looked over your shoulder and everyone was minding their own business. In doing so, you noticed a green-haired youth with a murderous expression on his face as he worked out on the opposite side. Whoever dared to look at you was met with a murderous look.

When you finished on the treadmill, you moved again to another machine. You noticed that the green-haired followed you here as well.

You felt like you had your own bodyguard the entire time you were in the gym. You had no idea why he was doing it, but he seemed so aware that you didn't even mind.

After some time when you decided to wrap it up for today, you went to the dressing room. You were changing when you heard the scream from the showers. You turned around just in time to see a green-haired with a face as red as a crayfish fleeing.

You giggled at that. You had no idea why, but you automatically knew it was an accident. That he just got slightly lost along the way.

You had a bar shift in the evening. You made the drinks and overall it was such a relaxed evening. You were serving one of the guests when out of the corner of your eye you saw a young man with green hair take a seat at the bar.

As soon as you served the guests in front of him, you went to him. You didn't even ask him what he would like and you immediately reached for a bottle of sake.

“One sake,” you smiled as you placed it in front of him. It wasn't until later that you realized you hadn't even asked him what he would like.

"It is good. This is what I wanted,” he said as if reading your mind. He gave you an encouraging smile before taking a drink.

You were a bit confused by this, you kept thinking about it. However, when you wanted to ask him what he meant, he was gone.

Thanks to your job, you very often worked late into the night or almost into the morning. You came home already tired and sleepy, it's a wonder you didn't fall asleep on the way.

You entered the house and headed to your bed after dark. You were walking around the couch when two strong hands grabbed you. You didn't protest because you knew who it was. That someone pulled you onto the couch and hugged you.

It happened that he rested his head on yours and then you fell asleep together. When you woke up in the morning, you were alone. 

It always felt like a pleasant dream to you, even though you had the impression that you still smelled his scent for a while. However, instead of him, a green teddy bear was lying next to you.

As soon as you woke up, you knew it was going to be a bad day. You first woke up by falling out of bed and spent the whole morning looking for a green teddy bear.

You searched the entire bedroom and almost turned the entire apartment upside down. But he was nowhere. As if he had sunk into the ground.

You thought that made your bad luck go away as nothing out of the ordinary happened during the day.

The evening came and you went to work. However, you were still wondering where the teddy bear had gone. The shift went smoothly like clockwork and everything indicated that it would be a classic evening.

Your friend finished the last of the dishes and you went to lock up when someone grabbed your arms and you felt a knife blade against your neck.

"Don't try anything. Now go inside and you give me all the money. You understand?" the man asked you.

“Yeah,” you breathed. You were afraid that if you nodded in agreement, he would cut you.

“Good. Now move!” he commanded. You led him inside. You understood from the steps that other people were following him. This was seriously a douchebag day.

"Hello, handsome. All the money here, or there will run blood! ” he commanded as you entered. When your colleague saw this, he turned completely pale in this, his hands were tied.

"And hands up! I don't want you accidentally pressing some smart button that will alert the cops!” he added.

Your friend nodded his head in agreement and immediately put his hands up. He didn't want anything to happen to you. He walked over to the cash register and opened it in front of them. Another man walked over to him with a bag of money.

However, before he could take the money out of the cash register, the door burst open and a green-haired young man stood panting in them.

“Finally found it,” he said before frowning. “Hey look Y/N let go! ” he growled dangerously, went inside and closed the door behind him.

"Hold your horses. For now, I'm the one who is holding hostage!” the man who was holding you by the neck snapped at him.

"Zoro!" you called to him pleadingly, fear in your eyes. After that, the man pressed down on your neck until a faint trickle of blood appeared on your skin.

That was the only sign Zoro needed. Out of nowhere, he pulled out three swords, one of which he held with his teeth.

“Hey, don't try any bullshit,” the brute warned him and took a step back with you. His minions rose before him with their weapons aimed at the swordsman.

However, he only frowned more before running towards the brutes. It was a short fight, there was shooting, but the only ones who fell to the ground were the brutes. Zoro stood in front of you with a drawn sword, the tip of which was a millimetre from the neck of the man holding you.

"If you don't want to lose your head, give up! ” he growled at him and by his expression he meant it dead serious. The brute looked at his men writhing in pain on the ground and then at Zoro.

Finally, he pushed you in the swordsman's direction and ran away. Zoro caught you but turned to face the bastard, who he hit in the back of the head with the blunt side of his sword. The man froze before falling to the ground.

You were relieved it was over as soon as Zoro put away his swords you hugged him. He was your solid point that you could rely on.

“I'm so glad you showed up,” you breathed. Zoro wrapped one arm around your waist and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear with the other. He has never seen you so scared and upset before. You weren't shaken out like this even before the nightmares.

“Thanks for the rescue, but who are you? Y/N’s boyfriend?” your colleague asked walking over to you. He already had a phone with the police number ready in his hand.

"I'm her protector," Zoro replied, though he paused for a moment.

“Sure,” your colleague smiled as he could see how things were between you two. Or so he thought. He then went outside to call the police and wait for them.

"How is it possible?" you asked him as the two of you found alone at the bar. "I thought you were just a dream."

“Do you remember the promise I made to you when I first saved you?” he asked instead, looking into your eyes. You nodded your head in agreement. That was the first time he saved you from a nightmare.

"I promised you that I would protect you. I'm your protector and that doesn't only apply in dreams, but also here," he said surprisingly softly as he caressed your cheek.

“Thank you,” you replied and kissed him softly in return. When you pulled away, you saw him momentarily lost for words and blushing. Finally, he smiled mischievously and asked for one more. After all, he just saved your life today. Literally.

You just giggled at that before obliging him. However, the next kiss was much longer as Zoro took the initiative.

After that, you went outside together to wait for the police to arrive. It was a long and challenging day. You stood to the side and Zoro hugged you from behind. You leaned on him and you felt safe. Before you knew it and before the police arrived, you fell asleep.

Zoro not only supports you so you don't fall but also protects you so no one wakes you up. Anyone who wanted to talk to you or accidentally wake you up was met with such a stern look that everyone gave up. Not even the police could do anything against him.

When they finally left, Zoro took you home. He was able to get there without getting lost because that place was directly connected to you. He carried you carefully so you wouldn't wake up. At your house, he put you to bed and lay there with you.

Zoro Masterlist

Sleep Protector Masterlist

[tonydaddingham]

aziraphale constantly expresses his admiration and adoration for crowley by telling him he's nice, and good, and thanks him for what he does for him, calls him all the time to tell him things, "our car" and "our bookshop". and then dear, sweet crowley, who cannot go a single minute without doing something for aziraphale, driving him around everywhere, looking after and tidying the bookshop, indulging him in his earthly pleasures and quaint little hobbies, saving him even when he doesn't necessarily ask to be saved, "little demonic miracle of my own" and "alright, I'll do that one, my treat."

their methods of communicating their - friendship, affection, love - are set.

let's look at the bandstand, where crowley offers to magic them away, away from earth and the loom of armageddon, and aziraphale retaliates with stating that they're not friends and he's doesn't even like him. let's look at the So Did I argument, where crowley offers to whisk gabriel away and dump him on the moors so aziraphale doesnt have to deal with it and is no longer under threat from the former archangel, and aziraphale practically begs crowley to stay, that he'd "love [him] to help [him]".

their methods of communicating their - friendship, affection, love - are being rejected; they're not working.

let's look at 1967, where aziraphale gives in to giving crowley the holy water, but refuses the lift to anywhere he wants to go, and crowley offers to thank aziraphale, but refuses to hear aziraphale's verbal concerns about the danger it poses to him, "you told me what you think - 105 years ago." let's look at the final fifteen, where aziraphale offers to restore crowley to what he thinks crowley has always been yearning for, and crowley tries to tell aziraphale exactly what he means to him, put it into words what he hopes aziraphale will see through and understand.

their methods of communicating their - friendship, affection, love - are swapped, and break them apart altogether.

swapping those methods, in a guesswork effort to reach the other person better, isn't the answer. the action, and what is being said, is what needs to change. crowley offers things that aziraphale doesn't want, or goes against who he is fundamentally, and aziraphale says things that wound crowley deeply, reducing what they are to nothing in a few sharp words. so instead crowley tries to use words, and aziraphale tries to offer an act of devotion; but this doesn't work either - arguably, it's worse!

what they communicate needs to be clearer, not how. crowley needs to stay with aziraphale when he promises that he will, and not attempt to solve problems by running from what he doesn't want to face, threatening to abandon him in the process. aziraphale needs to express outright, plainly, what crowley needs to hear; that exactly as he is, everything that he is, is everything that aziraphale wants and respects and loves. and to be able to do that, they need start by giving each other the respect of acknowledging their respective boundaries, their fears, and what principles are important to them.

they've had their methods right all along, but what they're currently saying with them doesn't make sense. it's the french all over again; the words can be translated, "but you understood me!", but that doesn't mean that it makes any sense.

[jasmines-library]

Can you do a Winchester sister fic pls where the sister gets years taken off her life by saving Dean (how Dean took years off his life to save Bobby in season 5) and she’s running out of time and while Sam is finishing up the poker game against the witch to save her, she dies in deans arms (the sister is closer with Dean and always looked up to him and the boys ofc are always protective of her) but then Sam wins the poker game and brings her back

The Curious Case of Dean Winchester

Note: This one was really fun to write. I hope you don't mind that I added my own little twist onto the episode (S5E7) and that it's pretty angsty: I couldn't help myself.

warnings: Death but only brief, swearing once or twice.

Word count: 2.3K (wow it's been a hot minute since I've written like this and i've missed it)

⛤ SPN MASTERLIST ⛤

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

Those were the last words Dean Winchester told you before you split off to search the other side of town. Of course, that is exactly what you did. 

As soon as Cliff Whitlow, the missing victim, had revealed the man behind his so-called miracle, you knew exactly what you had to do. The man behind the unusual deaths- Patrick, was a witch- a powerful one at that. And you needed a Witch. 

See, Dean had got himself into a predicament. He had made a deal with a crossroads demon so that Bobby could walk again. He couldn’t bear to see him so miserable anymore, so he did what he thought was the right thing to do. Bobby was mad, you and Sam even madder, and you were now running out of time to find a way to get him out of it. It frustrated you that Dean’s impending doom was creeping up slowly on  you, ready to grab him at any second, but no one was doing anything about it. So you took matters into your own hands. 

You took the elevator around the back of the bar down to the basement after bribing the bartender with enough money to make you cringe. It was rickety and jolted unnervingly as it descended, opening up into another bar. Few people lingered around sipping from glasses of spirits that lined the walls, though you paid little attention to them because your gaze had locked onto him. He sat smugly in a secluded section of the room behind a table a poker game had been laid out on. Leaning back on his chair he watched his latest victim bet away his life. He was using magic to enchant the poker chips, grinning as he scooped the man's chips towards him, watching as his face turned ashen and grey. 

“That’s a cruel trick you got there.” You said making your way over to the table. 

“Thank you.” He shrugged, rearranging the black and red chips with a smirk. “I take it you’re here for a reason?”

“I want to play.”

He glanced up at you, raising a brow and speaking to you with a thick, Irish lilt. “You look awfully young for someone trying to get more years… that is unless?”

“I’m not a witch.”

“I see.” you were intriguing him now. “How can I help you?”

“My brother. He made a demon deal. I need you to get rid of it in return for my years.”

The witch tilted his head as he looked at you keely. “Now slow down there, princess. Cancelling a demon deal is a very difficult thing to do. Takes a whole bunch of magic and persuasion to do that. Giving me a few years isn’t going to be enough.”

“30.” You laid down. 

“Tempting.” He hummed, “But I think we can have some real fun with this. What do you say?”

“Whatever. Just help my brother.”

“Good answer. I’ll play for your brother’s deal. You win, I'll try to cut your brother's deal.”

“And if I lose?”

“60.” The staggering number almost made your heart stop, but you were doing this for Dean. Sam needed him. The world needed him. “But it’ll start slowly until you least expect it.”

“Deal. Oh and one more thing.”

The witch leaned forwards in his chair

“Dean can’t play to replace my years with his own.”

“You must be very desperate.” The witch mused, gesturing for you to take a seat as he began to shuffle his deck of cards. “That or you’re extremely stupid. Who knows. But I like you. You show loyalty to your family and that’s very important. Perhaps, once you lose I might even see if I can remove your brother's deal. I’m feeling generous today.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Just shut up and play.”

~

“Y/N?”

Dean’s voice made you stop dead in your tracks as you rounded the corner after stepping out of the elevator. He stared at you with an irascible look, though you could see the confusion hidden in his eyes. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” He hissed at you. You were supposed to be across the other side of town. When the three of you split up, you took off in the wrong direction to slip into the bar before your brothers found it. You had taken the receipt from one of the victims' jackets and raced down there in hopes that you would make it out before one of them stumbled across it. I guess you were just incredibly unlucky today.

“Planting daisies.” You said sarcastically as you tried to push your way past your brother so he wouldn’t see your face.  “What’s it look like?”

“So you found the game?” He queried, chasing after you. 

“Yep.”

“Did you stop it?”

You kept quiet and continued on straight. You had lied to Dean hundreds of times before so why couldn’t you bring yourself to do it now?

“Y/N?”

You stopped, turning to face him with a sigh.

“Not exactly…”

You could see the dread on his face now. “What did you do?”

You swallowed thickly. “I played. Okay?”

Dean Winchester stared at you dumbfounded for a moment, his lips twitching as he struggled to process the right words. “And?”

“...I lost.”

Your brother nearly exploded. “Are you kidding me?! The one thing I told you not to do was ‘anything studpid’. And you played some He-witch?!”

“Someone had to do something Dean! I can’t just sit by everyday knowing that you could be dragged away from us any second. I can’t go through that again Dean.”

“You idiot.” He was blaming himself, you could hear it on his tongue; the way he seethed. “Sammy and I are looking for something. We will find something.”

“That’s what you said last time. And I'm sorry Dean, but I can’t. Sammy needs you. The world needs you.”

“And you don’t think we need you?! You can’t go throwing your years away.”

“They’re my years. I can do what I want.”

“How many did you lose Y/N?”

“60.”

~

Sam bustled through the door trying to balance a tray of drinks and a paper bag filled with fast food. He slid them on the counter and tossed his keys beside them as he called out.

“Are you guys home?”

“In here, Sammy.” Dean emerged from the bathroom and Sam could tell his brother was mad. He was wearing that stern look and his voice was agitated. 

“Where’s Y/N?”

“Here.” You bundled through the door, glancing silently between your brothers gripping a candy bar you had wrangled from one of the vending machines. You didn’t really want it you just needed an excuse to get out of the motel room and escape from the tension and side glances that Dean shot your way. 

Sam studied you for a moment as you pulled out a chair to slump on. At first glance he hardly noticed it, but he realised that you looked older. Not by a lot, but you moved differently and your eyes were ever so slightly more creased. 

“Either of you two wanna tell me what happened?”

“Y/N’s got a death wish. That’s what happened.” Dean stated, rummaging in the bag that Sam had brought back from the diner. 

“Oh so I was just supposed to let you die? Again?”

“Yes. Or find another way.” Dean spat back at you but you knew he was scared. Scared and feeling guilty for what your near future might entail. 

Sam blinked as the two of you argued, firing words at each other. “Whoa. Slow down. What happened? Did you find the witch?”

“Oh yeah. Y/N found the witch alright, Sammy. Why don’t you tell him what happened, Kid?”

“I played.”

“You what?”

“I played for Dean’s deal to be spoiled… and I lost.”

“Oh God, Y/N/N… How much did you lose?”

“60…” You started, watching the horror cross his features. “But he’s taking them slowly. Waiting until we least expect it.”

“And there’s the punchline.” Dean could have laughed. 

Sam was in shock, though he understood why you had done it. He understood why you were hurting. He was there when Dean was taken. He saw how broken up it made you and he saw how you clung to him when he returned, hesitant to leave his side for weeks. 

“Oh kiddo.” he sighed “What have you gotten yourself into?”

~

“You know, I still think I should play.” Sam said. The three of you had just broken into the Witch’s flat. Sam and Dean believed that if they got hold of the chips then they could find a way to get you your years back, but you had been caught and the witch had revealed that the chips had nothing to do with it. That was when Sam was given the idea to play for you. In the meantime you could feel your body changing and see the lines being etched into your face. 

“No. No.” Dean cut his brother off straight away. “You’re not good enough. I’m better, Y/N's way better. We both lost.”

“What so I don’t get a say in this anymore? Dean can’t play so I’m the only option we got. I’ve watched you hustle plenty of poker games. Hell, that’s how Y/N learnt-”

“Sammy.” You pleaded. You knew that if this went wrong everything you did would have been for nothing. “Please. No.”

“Y/N. We can’t just let you… you’ll die. We’re going to find you a way out of this. I promise.”

~

“Take it.” The blonde woman, the one from the bar and the witch’s apartment, was perched on your bed as the three of you hustled back into the room. Dean’s fingers instinctively reached for the gun he had tucked in his waistband. ���It’ll help.”

Sam took the parchment gingerly, turning it over in his hands before reading the messy handwriting scrawled across the page. “What is this?”

“The most powerful reversal spell you’ve ever laid your eyes on.”

“And it reverses what?” Dean asked.

“Patrick’s work. All of it.”

“You saying she could be normal again?” Your brother’s hand found your shoulder protectively.

“Her and everyone else he’s ever played.” She said before adding “who’s still alive.”

“Why the hell should we trust you?” Sam scowled.

“Trust me, don’t trust me. I don’t care.” She stood and made her way to the door. “The spell is real.”

“If it zaps everyone, doesn’t that include your man?” Dean asked. 

“And me too.” She shrugged, “I look good for my age.”

“Lady, this don’t add up for shit.” Dean said. “Why would you want that?”

“I have my reasons.” her hand went to fiddle with the silver locket around her neck before she fled. “Do it quickly. We leave town tomorrow.”

~

The spell hadn’t worked. 

When Dean tossed the toothpick Sam had smuggled him into the flames he looked up at you with a hopeful glint in his eyes but nothing happened. You didn’t get younger. And Sam was still betting his life away against that witch. 

You could feel it now, the way your life was slowly slipping away. At first you didn’t really notice it, but as soon as you began pursuing Patrick, you knew your end was approaching quickly. You supposed that ‘when you least expected’ was a lot closer than you expected. The thought made you bitter as you shuffled into the car, wincing at the way your joints ached the way they would after a long hunt or session at the gym. 

Dean glanced at you through Baby’s mirror as he sped down the road towards Patrick’s apartment in search of some more of his DNA. His concern grew as you climbed the stairs much slower than you would usually have done and as you entered his room.

The two of you searched quickly, looking anywhere for a speck of something that might contain just a speck of his DNA. another one of those toothpicks or something. Albeit the pair of you were struggling to find anything. 

And then it is you. All at once your joints popped and clicked as your body changed suddenly. You cried out in pain as your brother ran to your side to catch you before you could hit the ground. 

“No. No. Not yet.”

You blinked up at him as you struggled to breath, your heart slowing as your body forgot how to function. 

“Dean…” Your voice faded as he cradled you in his arms. Your breaths slowing and your eyes fluttering.

“No.” His voice broke as he fumbled for his phone. “No you hang on sweetheart. Come on Sammy, pick up!”

There was no answer as Dean’s phone rang and went straight through to Sam’s voicemail. “Son of a bitch!” he exclaimed as he through his phone across the room, tears streaming down his face as he clung to you. Watching your chest slowly rise and fall. Up and down…up and down…up..and…down…up-

There was nothing after that. You lay morbidly still in his arms as your body ceased to function. 

“No! Y/N. I can’t lose you now. Please….”

You did not move and the room was filled with the sound of your big brother’s grief and he sobbed. And then, you took a gasping breath and sat up abruptly in his arms. 

Your body had returned to normal. The extra wrinkles around your eyes and the grey hairs gone. Your breaths were steady and your heart was strong. 

“Y/N/N?” He whispered.

“Dean?” Your eyes searched him. “Sammy did it.”

“Yeah.” He breathed out, squeezing you tightly. “I knew he would.”

Dean’s phone began to ring from across the room. Reluctantly, he peeled himself away from you as he moved to get it, though his attention never strayed far from you.”

“Dean?!” You heard your other brother over the speakers. “Is she okay?”

“Yeah. You did it, Sam. She’s going to be just fine.”

[respectthepetty]

Pride Petty Watch - LiTA (Sky/Prapai) 2/3

It took me much longer than expected to make it through the first two episodes of Sky x Prapai's arc in Love in the Air, but Prapai called Sky his boyfriend out of nowhere, so now I understand that he is Manifest Destiny-ing his way to love, and for the non-Americans, that's bad. Like real bad.

Let me be like Prapai and keep marching forward even though all the signs are telling me to stop.

In my first year of teaching, I was told I couldn't want the grade more the student did. I was reminded that some students don't want A's. Some students just want to pass the course, and that's fine. I need to take that approach with Prapai because he held Sky while he clung to him and cried for the nightmares to leave him in peace, yet in the morning, Prapai slings it back in Sky's face and makes it callously sexual. Clearly, Prapai doesn't want points for Slytherin. He does not want an A in decency. He does not want to pass "Go" on the board. Whatever he wants is between him and the demons he is fighting because obviously this ho does not want to be saved.

"Let me help you" - Look at that! As soon as you let men go, they wanna come back correct. Asking to help instead of forcibly inserting himself. Wow! So you are capable of not making everything aggressively sexual?

I'm watching you like a fucking hawk, Slytherin, which if you want to pass this course, you will note that hawks eat snakes, so basically I'm telling you I will devour you whole if you make another wrong move.

"That's all I ask," he says as he asks for EVERYTHING. "I will not restrain myself next time." "You cannot escape me." "Has he blocked this number?" Sky, babe, hon, bestie, rob this fucking man in his sleep. Take the watch off his wrist, the money from his wallet, and the audacity out of his mouth. These are the queer wrongs I'm trying to support this month.

"You should be spanked" - So 🙃 . . . IGNORING THAT! As a lifelong member and advisor of Greek life (fraternities and sororities are different for BIPOC), every time I see these university rituals, I always wonder what is the equivalent of a compliance officer in other countries because This. Is. Hazing.

And now Payu and Prapai are just hanging out at university activities like THEY DON'T GOT JOBS! Payu has a room in a garage, a room at his house with a toy car collection, and a terrified mechanic hiding under cars, so the man has got bills. Prapai has companies (plural) to run, and an overworked and rightfully annoyed (always in red) secretary holding down the fort, yet he is on a little vacay. Women in GLs - big bosses and screwing at work on company time. Men in BLs - FORGETTING THEY HAVE JOBS!

*Regina George has entered the chat* So you agree? You think you're a bad guy to Sky?

Every time Payu or Prapai mentions getting a reward (for not assaulting the boy they are chasing after especially when that boy is in a vulnerable position), I think of the conversation between Uea and King in episode five (part one) of Bed Friend when King asked for a reward and Uea said "The fuck you just say? Get outta here with that noise" then he left. Uea would eat these men alive.

The thinnest of ice, Prapai. I can see the freezing water rushing underneath. That's how thin the ice is that you are on, sir.

Because Prapai is confessing to sleeping with three other people since he began stalking Sky (no shame, as one slut to another, I'm actually very proud he admitted to it), can we get a STI test? We got condoms, so miracles can happen.

*squints* Is that a heart on your chest, Sky? No, I'm not angry. No, you're not in trouble. No, you're perfect. I'm just working through my own stuff, so I'm gonna need a minute to process this.

If you wanna live that chismosa life, you gotta be aware of your surroundings. Amateur.

Yeah yeah yeah, the wind needs the windmill or whatever dumb shit Dangerous Romance said. Now go make the lapel pin of it, and GET BACK TO WORK! This reeks of nepotism because there is no other way you would still have a job.

Prapai calls Sky by his name, no honorifics. Prapai sleeps on the floor. Prapai asks his mom for advice on how to care for someone. *squints* This is sus af.

And now he is swerving advances and doing his job. *squints even harder* Are you actually trying to pass this course now?

I, too, would be sad if rope was spewing out of my shirt like that.

Prapai just swindled a key to Sky's apartment without asking Sky for it. WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO FUCKING PASS THIS COURSE?! I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR ASS AGAIN NEXT SEMESTER!

I play with my ears when I get tired, so now I feel even more connected to you Sky, and PRAPAI IS KISSING YOU?! NOOOOO! STOP!!!!! HE'S TIRED! LEAVE MY BOY ALONE!

"I can't guarantee your safety if I stay" - It was a fake out, and I have lost years off my life because of this show. YEARS!

The first step is admitting you have a problem are the problem. *growth*

I'm not going to question the aerodynamics of riding with that project on a bike, but I will state that Prapai is the prefect example of the MAME Extremes I wrote about in the previous post because when he is good, he is really fucking good, but when he is bad, he is The Worst™ so can't we just find an in-between?

Don't you go pointing your scrawny finger at my boy like that! You're lucky he even still speaks to you. Shut up, five! A ten is thinking!

Prapai spending all his money on Sky. Prapai deleting all the numbers from his phone. Prapai getting the lapel pin. Prapai cleaning Sky's apartment. Prapai being honest about wanting Sky without being aggressive or crass. *squints so hard my head hurts* This is how Joe must feel with Ming in My Stand-In because I want to trust your ass, but my God, do you make it so fucking hard. I'm begging you to not screw up after this. PLEASE!

I've seen this scene eighty different ways from my dash, but hearing Sky tell Prapai to get bored with him quickly so he can move on while internally begging for Prapai not to get bored knowing what I know about his ex . . . it is salt in the wounds, poison in the wells, and the phone call from within the house. It is painful, deadly, and terrifying.

Prapai listening tentatively as Sky finally tells him what he actually likes to eat. Prapai responding with little tidbits he has learned about Sky along the way. Prapai giving shoulder kisses. Prapai asking about the ex. To quote RuPaul, "don't fuck it up"

Sig is the realest of all these boys, and I would give him the softest ear bites, the best thigh kisses, and the most amazing blowjob because that's what he deserves!

Prapai - Claim me. Own me. Mark me!

Sky - Gross.

While all of Payu's after scenes only made him look worse as he embraced the Manipulate-Mansplain-Malewife way into Rain's heart, all of Prapai's scenes make him seem like the biggest simp, and I am, once again, pleading for balance!

So now on to the next episo - - -

Wait a minute . . . I know this scene

This is where Sky gets in his head and distances himself, so Prapai breaks in and reads the journal. Oh no. Oh no no no.

*lays face first in a field of lavender*

I need liquor, ice, and a blender. They are all needed for different reasons. No, I will not elaborate.

[certifiablyinsanez]

I’ve already touched on this but I can go into greater detail (AND I WILL):

Crowley is a bitch ass liar and God of Simps, you CANNOT tell me he didn’t set nearly everything up in 1941 to have the most memorable date with his angel. He saves Azi at the church and says “lift home?” Where do they go next??? Not the bookshop. Dastardly demon had ZERO intention of bringing Aziraphale straight home after the church. He takes Aziraphale to the theater, which he know he loves. You will NOT convince me that he picked up that massive suitcase of smashed liquor and didn’t notice the contents were destroyed? He didn’t hear the broken glass? He displays it to Mrs. H and let’s himself be chewed out instead of playing it off. He could’ve easily been like, “Sorry Mrs. H, I’ve got more in the trunk, be right back”, leave the room with the suitcase, miracle the liquor to be fixed and come back. Nope. He let himself stand there like a helpless puppy while Mrs. H went on a rant. I’d also bet my kneecaps that the magician for the show that night was arrested through a bit of ✨demonic intervention✨. And again, I WILL NOT BE PERSUADED OTHERWISE that Crowley didn’t influence Mrs. H to let Aziraphale perform. Because there is NOT A CHANCE ON GODS GREEN EARTH that that cantankerous woman saw this random man pull out a hanky and wave it around talking about “pReStiDigiTatiOn” and by her own volition went “yes this man is a perfect replacement, he is clearly an expert”. Then later at the bookshop he’s all “thanks for getting me off the hook ☺️👉🏻👈🏻” like Crowley 100% liked being the damsel in distress this time. I swear this little snake was making everything as convoluted as possible just to keep the night going. He sits down, legs in different time zones, and opens his jacket, performing what I call a Victorian strip tease, his eyes peering over his shades while he praises his angel. Grumpy little demon unable to hide his smile while his Aziraphale commits acts of great silliness. I KNOW he felt on top of the world until his goofy angel asked him to shoot him in the face. 🥲

Crowley you are so whipped sweetheart we see right through you. ❤️❤️❤️

[officersnickers]

We see that Marco has been crying, so my guess is because he was heartbroken with the idea that his beloved priest would succumb againts a Demon Lord. And in the case that Lea and Barbara told him the truth about Imuri, then I see him putting the blame on her with the excuse that she "corrupted" Mr Priest and spilling the beans

Okay, this whole answer is going only to scratch the surface of anything, because to be honest, Marco‘s a character I didn‘t think too much about till now, but his appearence in the latest chapter surely will stirr things up. We learned from different people (and even Marco himself) he‘s literally worshipping Mr. Priest, and any sign of weakness or succumbing to the „evil“ side would break something in Marco. He quite literally puts Mr. Priest on a pedastal, without reaching the boy a hand to climb down from it for a while.

Even Daniel and Leah seem to be wary of him, and I can‘t see why they could be wrong. They both know the miracle boy is on the edge of breaking, literally falling apart by the burden of having to save the world every day until his very last one. Considering everything, what Mr. Priest needs is a friend, a loyal partner, who‘s honest to him, but also tries to protect him. He doesn‘t get this from Marco (as far as we could see for now), nor from Imuri and not even Leah and Barbara, sadly.

Now to your question (finally!) - I, too, think these were tears of being heartbroken, disbeliefed beyond reason, and anger. Considering the look on Marco‘s face (in comparrison to Leah, who seems to be more concerned for Mr. Priest‘s well-being), he strikes to me to be hella pissed. There‘s the guy he literally worshipped like a God, just moments after he tried to end the world for good. Succumbing to a demon (even if it was a demon lord, and Mr. Priest arguably weakened) and not resisting, not fighting back the „evil“ of this world. Marco doesn‘t know it yet, but Mr. Priest even wants to run away! Not follow what he thinks he should go through further – being restricted and captured for life – but actually living! Indulging in sin instead of fighting it! Not dying for the greater good! How selfish of this teenage boy!

About Leah and Barbara telling anyone about Imuri – I‘m not too sure they would, yet at least. Daniel seems to know ~something~ anyway, and Miha lives in hiw own bubble, maybe just shrugging ang going on unbothered. I want to be fair to the girls and say they actually seem to like Mr. Priest. View him as their friend – surely, they wouldn‘t want to start an even greater fire by pouring oil in it aka telling the guy who‘s angry as hell as their friend about the demon gal (hanging on Mr. Priest‘s back like a koala lol). For my part, they probably want save him – but not at the cost of ruining the very little life he had so far, loosing him because he once wavered like they did. Yes, he did a mistake, and yes, they can‘t let have Imuri have her way with him. But should Marco instead? I do – hope – not. In the end, it‘s not Imuri‘s fault Mr. Priest fucked up. It‘s their collective one, loading the fate of the world on his shoulders till he couldn‘t bear it anymore. Imuri may try to make the miracle boy fall (in love) – but you can only fall if there‘s no one to hold you upright. And, as we know, no one really ever did for Mr. Priest.

[selunesdreams]

Chapter 4: Choke Points

“You know, my room has good choke points, too.” 

Pairing: Lucanis x Fem Rook/OFC x sometimes Spite??

Summary: Treviso is saved, Minrathous burns, and Rook has a mini-crisis over disappointing Neve. In an attempt to get her to stop moping, Lucanis drags her to spend some quality time with her family.…Link to Chapter 1

Word Count: 3.2k

Things of note/warnings: 18+ fic, MDNI! Blood, injury, the pain and agony of letting down Neve, protective Spite/Lucanis, Illario's snake collection, drunk Rook being a horny little shit. Also some references to plot lines in Tevinter Nights. A highly recommended read, but not necessary to follow the story. Please read on AO3 if you need to track warnings, they will be inevitably detailed better there (or just want to be real sweet and give me hits/kudos/comments).

─── ⊹⊱♤⊰⊹ ───

Rook used the back of her hand to wipe away the blood and sweat from her face, doubling over to catch her breath. 

“I can’t believe we fought it off.” Teia said, her eyes following the receding silhouette of the dragon on the horizon.

Dense soot fell from the sky as flames simmered on distant rooftops. The air carried the scent of wood smoke, reminiscent of All Souls Day, when Treviso would remember its dead, and the Chantry would light fires across the city to mark the burning of Andraste. Tonight, there was no peaceful remembrance of the fallen, no parades marching through the streets. Only fresh death and palpable despair. Despite their half-victory, Treviso remained shrouded in dread of what lay ahead.

“It’ll be back.” Lucanis’ voice held a haunting quality. “If Ghilan’nain hadn’t called it away…” 

Rook stood up straight. “Next time, it dies.”

“That thing was tough. It’ll be hard to put down for good.” Davrin warned. Behind him, Assan dug holes through the frost coating the governor’s lawn, the remnant of the dragon’s icy attack. No one stopped him - the Crows hated politicians.  

“What happened to Treviso would have been much worse if you hadn’t arrived when you did.” Teia threw her arms around Rook. “I cannot imagine how much worse…”

“Fiammetta!” 

Rook disentangled herself from the embrace and turned in the direction of her cousin’s voice. Viago, ever calm and collected, looked like an utter wreck as he approached.

“So he does have a soft spot,” Lucanis murmured to Teia.

“He has several.” She said with a wink. The Demon of Vyrantium raised both eyebrows and blinked uncomfortably. 

“You saved our city, Fiamma. Our people. Our home…” Viago’s mouth fell open mid-sentence as his gaze drifted over her shoulder. “Is that…a griffin? ”

Rook nodded emphatically and Viago crept forward, staring at Assan with childlike wonder. The griffin squawked and swished its tail in the air. 

“Never thought I’d see him get excited about anything other than snakes and poisons.” Lucanis mused. 

“Says the guy obsessed with wyverns.” Rook said, squatting to clean her blade on the grass.

Davrin sheathed his sword. “While this is all endearing, don’t we need to check in on-”

“Minrathous...” Rook’s eyes widened as she turned to Lucanis. “Neve!”

Davrin whistled, signaling for Assan. “Maybe there’s still time to help.”

Viago reached for Rook’s shoulder. “Fiamma, don’t go running into-“

Lucanis stopped him mid-sentence, laying his hand on his arm. “She’s got this. And if she doesn’t, I’ve got her back.”

A long moment passed as Viago held his gaze before he acknowledged with a nod. 

“Send word when you’re safe.”

“You worry too much!” Fiamma shouted over her shoulder, taking off after Davrin and Assan.

Lucanis delivered two reassuring pats to Viago’s back and then sprinted after them.

─── ⊹⊱♤⊰⊹ ───

Rook barely recognized Minrathous, relying on Lucanis to navigate its burning streets. It had been a miracle the Eluvian was even in one piece when they stepped through it.

They spotted Neve on a rooftop, along with Asher, the leader of the Shadow Dragons, and Tarquin, his second in command. Rook, with a dramatic flourish, pitched herself onto the roof from the highest rung of a nearby ladder.

“We’re here! What’s the situation?” 

“Look around.” Neve waved her arms in a display of exasperation. “I don’t know where to start. Is Treviso alright?”

“It’ll pull through. I’m asking about Minrathous.” 

“The Venatori had a clear shot at the palace while we faced a dragon we could barely hurt. The Viper drew it away from the safe house and took a claw to the gut as thanks. A healer could fix the wound, but the blight’s already in him...”

“I know of magic that may slow the corruption. It will give me more time.” Asher rasped. From Rook’s vantage point, the wounds appeared severe. Tarquin lunged at her, forcefully jabbing his finger against her chest. 

“This is all you! The risen gods, the blight, the dragon! Now the city’s lost to the Venatori-”

A low growl emanated from Lucanis, his eyes momentarily tinged with violet as he intervened, positioning himself between them.

“Do NOT. Touch. ROOK! ”

He took a step backward, blinking rapidly.

Asher propped himself up on an elbow, suppressing a cough. “Tarquin, it is what it is. You know Rook isn’t to blame.”

A groan of frustration escaped Tarquin’s lips as he returned to his post alongside the Viper, burying his face in his hands. 

“Tensions are a little high.” Neve said apologetically. “You should go for now. I need to be here a while. See to things.”

“Neve…”

“You had to defend your home. I don’t fault you for that, Rook. But it still doesn’t change what happened to mine.” 

Lucanis, seemingly in control of himself again, laid a hand on Rook’s shoulder and gently pulled her towards the ladder. 

“Come on, let’s give her some time.”

─── ⊹⊱♤⊰⊹ ───

Defeated and feeling guilty, Rook paced the halls of the Lighthouse alone. Judging from his snoring in the other room, Varric was asleep, and she didn’t want to interrupt his rest. Solas was an asshole , and confiding in any of the others was only likely to burden them, so Rook summoned her courage and approached the pantry, hoping there’d be at least once person she could commiserate with.

She rapped twice before cracking the door and peeking through. Lucanis lay sprawled on his narrow cot, tossing an apple into the air and catching it over and over again. He turned his head nonchalantly as she stepped inside.

“You know, we have other rooms and plenty of space. I don’t know why you-“

“You don’t know why the trained assassin would choose a room with only one entrance and good choke points?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “It’s worse than I thought. You’ve forgotten all your training, Rook.”  

“Hush. I don’t need to be reminded of any more of my inadequacies today.” 

Lucanis sat up, leaning forward and clasping his hands together. “That bad, huh?”

“That bad.” With her back against the cold stone wall, Rook slid to the floor. “I know Neve doesn’t hold it against me, but…I can’t help but feel like her trust - and faith in me - are fractured.” She confessed grimly. “Just as I earned back Viago’s good graces…”

“Were the tables turned, she would have picked her home. She knows that. That’s why it’s hard for her to work out. She’ll come around. Just like Viago did.”

“I had to fight a dragon to change Viago’s mind.”

“You might have to fight another one to change Neve’s.” A small smile tugged at the corner of Lucanis’ lips as he rose to his feet. “Besides, Viago never really lost faith in you, Rook. You have to know that.”

“I’m not sure how well you know Viago.”

“I know what it’s like to be a big brother - cousin - but I think you know what I mean…” He squatted in front of her, resting his forearms on his knees. “He’s hard on you because he wants you to survive. It’s why Caterina was hard on me. And why I’m hard on Illario.”

“Please don’t compare me to Illario.”

“I would never.” Lucanis said, his grin widening as he rose to his full height. “You’re much more pleasant.” 

“My father was hard on me, too.” Rook said. “Nothing like Caterina, I’m sure, but after my mother died, he changed. He was my protector all my life until he had to teach me to protect myself. I’m grateful, but…”

Lucanis’ expression softened as her voice trailed off. “I’m sorry. I wish I knew how to... comfort you.”

“I just came to strategize. I don’t need comfort .” Rook said coolly. 

“Those are a lot of big emotions for strategizing, De Riva.” He took her by the hand and pulled her to her feet.

“Come on. I think I might know who can help.”

─── ⊹⊱♤⊰⊹ ───

“Cheer up, Fi. So we didn’t slay the dragon. It flew away! From us! That counts for something, right?”

A trip back to Treviso and a glass of one of her cousin’s best vintages later, Rook found herself on the receiving end of a pep talk from Teia. She sunk deeper into the green velvet cushions of Viago’s couch and glowered across the room at Lucanis. 

“You thought this would make me feel better?” She asked, her voice heavy with exhaustion. She finished off her wine, the glass clinking softly against the side table as she set it down.

Lucanis, nestled in a plush armchair near the fireplace, shrugged, his eyes fixed on the dancing flames.

“Oh, come on, I know you missed us.” Teia extended her wineglass towards Viago as he entered the room with a fresh bottle. He topped her off and filled Rook’s to the brim again.

“You’re in my chair.” He grumbled at Lucanis, who reluctantly pushed himself up with a groan and relocated to the couch.

“I warned you.” Rook said as she made room. “Viago’s very particular about these things.”

Lucanis grunted as he eased himself down beside her.

“Where’s Illario? I thought you invited him?” Teia asked Viago. “Too good to celebrate our victory?” 

“He’s sulking at Caterina’s Villa. I didn’t want to disturb him.” 

“Fine by me,” Rook mumbled, snatching her wine back off the table. As the conversation continued, her gaze wandered towards a large terrarium in the corner of the room. A Death Adder, one of the most venomous snakes in Thedas, was coiled around a twig, flicking its tongue at her.

“So tell me, cousin, what’s up with the new pet?”

“Emil Kortez planted it in my wardrobe at the last Crow summit in Lago di Novo.” 

“It’s bite nearly killed him.” Teia said. “Good thing our Viago takes his morning coffee with dilute poison.” 

“And you let it live?” Lucanis asked. “You really are getting soft, De Riva.”

“That snake came closer to taking me out than any man can say. He deserves my respect and a good home. With all the mice he desires.” He brought his wine to his lips. “Besides, I can extract his venom for Adder’s Kiss.” 

Rook stood, a little unsteadily, and crossed the room. Reaching out to feel the cool glass against her fingertips, she examined the snake, noticing a bulge in its belly, evidence of a recent meal. Its slow blinks seemed content, almost serene. As far as snakes went…it appeared fat and happy.

“Does it have a name?” She asked with a hiccup. 

“Emil.”

Teia raised her glass. “May he rest in pieces.”

Rook flopped back down on the couch beside Lucanis, her wine sloshing dangerously close to the rim of her glass. He frowned and snatched it from her hand, setting it aside.

“With you off saving the world, I needed a new roommate. Emil’s quieter.” Viago said.

Rook ignored her cousin’s sarcasm, knowing it only veiled his hurt feelings. A heavy silence fell between them before he spoke again. 

“I’m turning in, but this is still your home too, Fiamma. Your room is exactly as you left it. Perhaps you should sleep in your old bed tonight. I’m not sure I can endorse traveling through the Fade under the influence.” He rose from his armchair. “Lucanis, you’re welcome to the couch.”

“What about me?” Teia asked with a wink. 

“I’ll expect to find you where you usually end up.” Viago purred, disappearing into the shadows of the hall. 

Rook knocked her head back against the wooden frame of the couch. “I didn’t want to hear any of that.” 

“You two are…?” Lucanis pointed between Teia and the hall, his wine glass balanced delicately between his ring and index fingers. 

“Happened after your…funeral.”

“Teia!” Rook cried. 

“What? Grief is a powerful aphrodisiac. Besides, with Lucanis back, that means someday we’ll get to grieve for him all over again...”

“I think that’s my cue.” Lucanis said, and pushed himself up from his seat. “I’ll give you two some time to catch up.” 

As he slipped through a pair of glass doors onto the balcony, Rook reclaimed her half of the couch. 

“Alright, we’re only doing this once.” She said, throwing back the rest of her wine. “Spill.”

After Teia went to bed, Rook joined Lucanis outside. Silhouetted against the moonlit sky, he leaned over the railing, tracking her out of the corner of his eye as she approached.

With a weary sigh, she sat down on the ground and slotted her legs through the gaps in the rails, dangling them over the ledge.

“I might be back in the Crows’ good graces after saving Treviso.”

“You impressed Viago. That is quite a challenge on its own.” 

“You have no idea…” Rook muttered. 

“Here, not that you need it.” Lucanis picked up a decanter on a nearby table and joined her on the ground, topping off her wine. 

Rook took his offer appreciatively, “Thanks.”

Wordlessly, they sat together while she swung her bare feet in the open air below. A gentle breeze rustled through the night, carrying with it the remnants of the recent chaos. Mist and smoke floated over Treviso, the flames once painting the horizon finally subdued. The city was damaged, but it would come back, as it always did. Stronger. 

“Why do you not mind when Teia calls you by your old name?” Lucanis asked suddenly. “I’ve never heard you correct her.”

Rook sipped her wine. “After everything that happened, nobody used my name to say anything nice to me - or about me. Only to scold me. But Teia…I’ll always be Fi to her. It feels like home when she says it. I think that’s what a name should be.”

“For what it’s worth, I’ve never scolded you.” Lucanis said, leaning in to bump his shoulder into hers.

“Your grandmother did plenty.” Her voice echoed inside the glass as she took another drink. “And your cousin.”

“Caterina only scolds people she likes.” He said with a smile. “Illario too, but I understand it’s not an honor to be liked by him.” 

Rook laughed bitterly. “No, no, it isn’t.” 

“What happened between you two?”

“It was never that serious, Lucanis. Not for me. I think Illario was more enamored with my father’s legacy than with me.” 

“I mean…your father was an impressive man. He wielded fire with more precision than the best of assassins could wield a blade. The way he could set a politician’s home aflame and make it look like an accident, or cauterize a wound before his victim had the chance to draw the poison out…” Lucanis let out a low whistle. 

Rook groaned. “You’re just as bad as Illario!”

Lucanis laughed. “I’m not, I promise. But I did have a high opinion of him. There aren’t many assassins of his caliber who turn down becoming Talon. I envied him most the day I learned Caterina was grooming me to become First.” 

“The mage killer, idolizing a mage.” 

“The Flame of Treviso wasn’t just a mage - he was a beacon of hope , Rook! He valued justice over titles and riches. He would be proud of you, Crow or no. You are the legacy he left behind. His daughter, his little flame, now a formidable fire…”

Lucanis reached out, crooking a finger under her chin and tilting her head towards him.

“It’s in your eyes. Not just the amber of your irises - your drive to do what is right. To protect those who cannot protect themselves. I don’t just owe you a debt - I think you’re a leader worth following. Fiamma, Fiammetta, Rook…”

His hand fell. “I’ll call you whatever you want.”

Warmth spread across Rook’s face as her cheeks flushed, and she tore away her gaze. The balcony spun slightly as she struggled to her feet, the effects of the alcohol pulsing through her body, a gentle buzz at her fingertips. She was a leader, she thought to herself, with some embarrassment. She should be acting like it. 

“Mind if we crash here tonight? I think I’ll fall to my death if I try to venture through the Crossroads like this.” 

“Not at all. I think a break from the Fade would be good for you.” Lucanis glanced at the empty bottle behind them. “Should we clean up?”

“Leave it. Viago’s used to picking up after me.” 

She shuffled through the door and Lucanis followed, ducking under her arm and draping it over his shoulders, one hand encircling her waist as he helped her inside. 

“Let’s get you to bed.”

Rook didn’t protest, allowing him to guide her while the apartment swam around her. He smelled like leather and cardamom, and she suppressed a drunken urge to shove her tongue down his throat. She hadn’t been with anyone since her last assignment in Minrathous several months ago. A one-night stand with a Shadow Dragon. She never bothered to learn his name. After all, he didn’t bother to give her an orgasm.

Down the hall, Teia giggled behind Viago’s closed door. With a grimace, Rook stepped inside her old room as it came into focus, finding it exactly as she remembered. The floor to ceiling windows cast faint lines of light through the panes, falling like stripes upon the furniture. Someone had neatly made her bed, and the vanity remained untouched. On the other side of the room, a thin layer of dust covered her collection of perfumes and poisons on the fireplace mantle. Even her ivy hanging from the ceiling was alive - Viago must have watered it in her absence. Hopefully he didn’t plant another snake in it. 

“You’re okay with the couch?” She asked Lucanis, holding her breath as she waited for his response.

“It will be a slight upgrade from the pantry.” He grinned as he released his hold on her, hands hovering in case she faltered. “But lacking the good choke points.” 

Rook crossed the room, taking a match from her nightstand and lighting a few candles.

“I like the way you say it… Fiammetta.”

Lucanis folded his arms, leaning against the door frame. “Is it so different from the way everyone else says it?” 

“It sounds like poetry when you do it.” She said, a shy smile playing on her lips. The matchstick flickered, and she extinguished the flame with a quick flick of her wrist. “Maybe it would be okay if you used it - just between us.” 

“We’ll see if you change your mind tomorrow. Once the wine has worn off.” 

He let his arms fall to his sides and fell back into the hall. Rook stumbled after him, propping herself up against the wall as she peered around the corner.

“You know, my room has good choke points, too.” 

Lucanis turned slowly, his eyes widening. Eyebrows knitted together, mouth slightly agape, only a quiet sound of surprise left his lips before she retreated inside her room and pressed her weight against the door, shutting it with a soft click.

[maidenofsophia]

The Magdalene

Who is She?

This is a question I've been asking since I was a little girl. Despite going to a Christian primary school, I have few memories of being taught about her, other than her being a penitent prostitute and the first witness to the resurrection.

When I was ten I watched an animation movie called the Miracle Maker starring Ralph Phiens as Yeshua and Miranda Richardson as the Magdalene. In that movie she's portrayed as being a mentally ill woman tortured by hallucinations, is healed by Yeshua and becomes one of his closest disciples. I should also add the two are VERY touchy feely with each other in that movie, it's a beautifully chaste semi-romantic bond.

In 2003, when I was getting into Wicca, I met someone in a Pagan chat room who called himself a Gnostic Christian Witch. He said that the Magdalene was his goddess, that she was the Holy Mother Spirit (Sophia) incarnate in her Daughter form, just as the Father was with the Son; Yeshua. This....blew my mind. And led me down a rabbit hole of a bunch of Gnostic and heretical texts.

Then the Da Vinci Code came out and this whole belief about Magdalene being Jesus' wife came into the mainstream. But while everyone seemed to be obsessing over their romantic and sexual life and what children they might have had, none of this really phased me because it the first Gnostic Witch I met already held this belief - but he stressed that it came secondary to who Magdalene was as a spiritual leader in her own right.

Since then I have heard so many different versions of who the Magdalene "really" was that it's hard to list them all but I'll give it a go:

- She was originally from Egypt and trained as a priestess of Isis. Yeshua met her on his travels as he was studying before coming into his role as a teacher himself and they formed a strong bond, she anointed him in the name of God the Mother and he in turn helped to heal her chakras (seven demons), something which he had learned after having travelled to the East. It was at Yeshua and Magdalene's own wedding where he turned water into wine, they had a daughter called Sarah who Magdalene escaped to France with following Yeshua's death.

- Another Gnostic path I came across believed she had no human birth but was Sophia come down in human form, just as the Logos came down as Yeshua. While the Logos returned to the heavens, Sophia remained incarnate as the Magdalene with the promise to keep returning in woman form upon her death until the Second Coming.

- Another believed her to have been a priestess of Asharah, whose temple was sacked and she was subjected to horrific abuse, SA and being cast out and nearly stoned to death until being saved by Yeshua.

- the Ecclesia Pistis Sophia have an oral tradition which was written down into a book by Tau Malachi which said she was born into a wealthy Jewish family, had great spiritual gifts but was forced to suppress them, was forced into marriage by her wicked father and then was attacked and assaulted. These "Sophians" believe that she accepted the spirit of Lilith into herself in order to survive and upon meeting Yeshua he healed her and she became the 'fulness' of the divine feminine with Eve and Lilith becoming one in her. She became Yeshua's "Holy Bride" and they had a son called Michael, rather than a daughter. The same story of her travelling to France occurs.

- Kaia Ra, author of the Sophia Code, claims to have channeled the spirit of the Magdalene who revealed her upbringing to her. That she was the daughter of wealthy parents who, as opposed to her origins in the Ecclesia Pistis Sophia, decided to nurture their daughter's spiritual gifts, that she was given lessons at her home but also travelled with her father to various places and connected with many faces of the divine feminine. She meets a fellow priestess, Mother Mary, who becomes like a second mother to her. She meets Yeshua and joins him on his mission of revealing gnosis but she is not beneath him in any way, it is very much a co-equal journey they go on but in the patriarchal society he is the one who is elevated. She and Mother Mary travel to France after Yeshua's death.

There are probably more that I've forgotten and sadly most of the websites I used to come across in the 00's are now lost.

But all of these stories have shaped my relationship with the Magdalene in some way. Parts I've agreed with, others that don't sit right with me. I don't know if we'll ever know the full truth. Even the ancient texts can only tell us so much, being written decades if not over a hundred years after the Magdalene lived and not even in the language those who knew them would have spoken.

The "canonised" gospels tell us that the Magdalene was the first to see Yeshua after his death. For me that at least speaks of his importance to her. His wife? His best friend? His co-preacher and partner in ministry? Personally I don't think it matters, it speaks of the same thing. Love. He loved her. Whether that love was romantic or platonic or something else, it was love and respect and the deepest trust.

They also tell us that she supported him and the men by her means, implying she was very wealthy, and yet she is not mentioned in relation to any man, neither as daughter or wife of mother. She is simply the Magdalene, ie from Magdala, a fishing village. The name also means Tower, which gives an image of strength and earnest faith.

Luke and Mark both say that Yeshua healed Magdalene of seven demons. I find it interesting how this event takes place off page, as opposed to a lot of other miracles we see Yeshua perform. For me this implies it was a rather intimate healing session between the two of them rather than one the public or disciples witnessed. But this could have been either some sort of exorcism as depicted in the Miracle Maker, or a healing of her mental and spiritual health with something similar to chakra healing as was believed by my Gnostic friend.

Interestingly the gospels do not say that she was the woman who anointed Yeshua's feet and head, this seems to have been either Mary of Bethany or the unnamed 'sinful' woman and it doesn't really make sense why the writers would name Magdalene specifically later but not state it to be her here. But given there is contradictions on where this happened as well as who did it, I don't think it's a stretch for anyone to still believe the Magdalene did anoint him herself at some point.

And then you get to the Gnostic gospels and the apocryphal texts and these just elevate the Magdalene even further when she was clearly already an important figure before. The Gospel of Philip connects her to Sophia and says that Yeshua would kiss her often and the disciples were jealous that he "loved her more than them". The Gospel of Thomas has Yeshua refusing to heed Peter's request to send Mary away as "females are not worthy". In The Dialogue of the Savior, it is said that she "spoke this utterance as a woman who understood everything." In the Pistis Sophia, the Magdalene is constantly questioning and offering up her own visions to Yeshua who heaps tons of praise on her for her insight and says "You are more blessed than all women on earth, because you will be the fullness of fullness and the completion of completion." And again he becomes protective when Peter's sexism makes her afraid. And all of this culminates in her own Gospel, which very little remains but is so fascinating. In this text, it is the Magdalene who stands up and takes on Yeshua's role while the men weep in fear and loss of what to do. Peter voices that they all knew Yeshua loved her most among women and pleas for her to share her visions. Sadly most of what she shares with them is lost but what remains seems to be a vision of how the soul rose above the seven demons that struck her to its Higher Self. Peter and Andrew reject what she shares but Levi defends her.

What does all of this lead to for me in the end?

It leads me to see the Magdalene as any other goddess. As many have contracting legends and myths and origins, the same is true of Her. And to me she is a goddess, she is Zoe Sophia - the Divine Daughter - in a human form, an ascended master and high priestess. She is not the first or only instance of this, but she is the one I most connect with. Whatever the "true story" of who she was is irrelevant, at this point it's all these various beautiful legends that inspire the mind and spark the soul's ascension.

Many people focus on the Magdalene for her faith and devotion. Many focus on her "sacred marriage" to Jesus and see her as a figure of romantic and faithful love, as well as motherhood, as well as what intimate and potentially sexual spiritual experiences they may have had together.

For me, the Magdalene is a balance of dark and light. While many I see position her as just "Christ with a feminine face", or another form of Mother Mary as a loyal follower and caretaker, for me she has an energy and personality that is so unique to herself and separate from them. Though of course they are a huge part of her life and her story, I don't have either Yeshua or Mother Mary in my personal pantheon, and I don't believe it's necessary to in order to connect to the Magdalene. She was very much a powerful spiritual woman before she met either of them.

For me the Magdalene is passion, she is fire, she is strength and wisdom and courage. She is in no way passive, she is a constantly active eternal flame. She was not just a student receiving knowledge but also inspiring Yeshua and others around her, a seeker and dreamer, a spiritual shield maiden. I don't believe Jesus cast any demons out of her with a wave of his hand, I believe he taught her how to heal them herself. Because we all need help from time to time. I do believe she may have had traumatic experiences that impacted her mental health, this is something I very much connect with and feel her with me when I am at my lowest. She has met those demons and conquered them. And anyone who calls upon Her to protect them from demons, she will descend like a mother bear. The Magdalene is loyal but not submissive. Patient and caring but not meek and mild.

I do believe she loved Yeshua and was devoted to him, whether as a friend or lover it makes no difference, it was a powerful love. But while she called him Teacher out of respect, he revered her as a priestess just as much and they were fully equal. I do not believe as the Sophian Gnostics do that she subjugated herself before him. She was not his Holy Bride or Consort. Her relationship with Yeshua was her great love but not her only one. I believe she and Mother Mary loved each other as mother and daughter. I believe she had close and powerful friendships with female disciples such as Mary of Bethany and Salome. I also believe she had a daughter, Sarah, who may have been Yeshua's or not, but either way she would raise her as a single mother (with her community of friends). The Magdalene also loved God. In that, she is a goddess of divine love but in all its wonderful and various forms.

I felt compelled to write all this out for my own benefit as I've come to embracing the Magdalene back in path and my pantheon. Having tried my hardest to search around, most of those who claim to be Magdalene Priestesses all have their own beliefs about her and charge a fortune just to interact with someone looking for Her. In the end I felt called to save my time and money by trusting my own intuition and experience with her. I love having her back on my altar, only this time it's Cernunnos who sits opposite as the divine masculine. I respect Yeshua but he is not part of my faith and the Magdalene has told me that's okay.

Hail, Lady Magdalene. Blessed art thou.

[asclexe]

⭐️ government-forced blog intro post ⭐️

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hai!! hello!! hey!! what’s up!! basic info/fun stuff below the cut (very long intro soo sorry)

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name: asclexe formally? cameron causally, but call me whatever! no, seriously! idc! nicknames (ex: cam, ronnie, cammy, etc) are welcome! feel free to call me your pookie or your son or child or something, be creative!

⭐️gender and pronouns: i am uhhh. nonbinary i think. they/them preferred, but it/its or he/him are also fine!! i prefer gender neutral terms, but i also am more masc leaning. like im a man. but also just a person.

⭐️not specifying my age but im a minor. B cool!! internet safety!!

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house md

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good omens

warrior cats (on arc 5 but i don’t plan on reading them)

dungeon meshi

movies in general

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tbosas/the hunger games

dead poets society

six feet under

a series of unfortunate events

fnaf

she-ra/the owl house/steven universe/gravity falls/etc

bluey

barbie/monster high

doogie howser md

scott pilgrim

the amazing digital circus

the middle

stardew valley

the spiderverse

abbott elementary

aggretsuko

i will post abt my sims occasionally :3 most posts are text posts bc im untalented

*i’m looking to get into evangelion, supernatural, hannibal, saw, and dexter 👍

i write fanfiction and poetry (i take requests feel free to hmu), i do local theater, i make pride icons (also requests hmu) i drabble in the occasional doodle, and i like baking and watching youtube and scrolling through tumblr and walking through the forest and my neighborhood and making bracelets and spending money and laying on the floor and singing and dancing and being silly and reading medical textbooks and cool novels and hanging with my irls and idk, yeah! life! carpe diem!

*also i’m trying to get into reality shifting! (im not a freak i swear)

⭐️my fav music artists (a little all over the place:3) jack stauber, will wood, lemon demon, tally hall/miracle musical, dazey and the scouts, mommy long legs, the oozes, bear ghost, mitski, chappell roan, weezer, the smashing pumpkins, my chemical romance, laufey, liana flores, faye webster, MARINA, pearl & the oysters, queen, no doubt, slipknot, korn, mindless self indulgence, hole, some olivia rodrigo, charli xcx, some vocaloids,

i love pretty much all kinds of jazz, rock, and showtunes (except ballads. i dislike ballads)

my music taste can be described as like. neurodivergent weird kid alt rock and hot girl summer pop.

(music recs are very much welcome <33)

*taylor swift enjoyers follow at your own risk (i hate on her occasionally. i really dislike her music and she’s also not that great of a person)

random facts about me :3

⭐️i’m left-handed (bully me for it ik im a freak)

⭐️unfortunately a theater kid :/

⭐️tall for this website

⭐️the most insufferable and annoying person ever

⭐️DOESNT BITE!! (i swear)

⭐️ i’m genetically pitch perfect but i’m awful with rhythm

⭐️favorite planet is ur mom (i ❤️ venus)

⭐️honors roll baby 🔥🔥

⭐️im most likely neurodiverse?? undiagnosed but speculated

⭐️perpetually alone only child 😔 please talk to me i love chatting with people, asks and replies preferred, dms okay <33

⭐️favorite color green. all of the shades.

⭐️i haven’t cried properly in like a year and i am not breaking my mewing streak

⭐️minorly touch/attention starved :3

⭐️single & ready to mingle!! (please don’t fucking talk to me like that im aroace and a minor )

⭐️REBLOGGING MACHINE 💪💪

⭐️i’ve never seen an episode of spongebob but saw the musical

⭐️#1 BEST XBOX SIMMER 🔥🔥

⭐️im nicer than i seem (i’m also a very negative person in general but i keep my thoughts to myself!)

⭐️i have a massive sweet tooth :3

⭐️(new) tags guide!⭐️

*note this is a new system i’m trying out, some older posts do not apply

#asclexeposting - all original content

#camyyaps - unhinged text posts/late night eepy time posts/yapping in the tags

#cam touches grass - the rare times i go outside and touch grass and do stuff

#ask the fellows - relating to my ask blog (go follow it go do it its @ask-the-ducklings go ask stuff)

#me ask :3 - reblog of something i asked another blog

#mootie :3 - if we’re mutuals and you send me an ask i tag it with this :3

*you also get your own individual tag for asks, for example @pingunaa is ping :3 and @rubeslovesthesmiths is rubes :3, etc

#cammy’s 4 later tag :3 - stuff for later!!

#cam plays the sims :3 - my simming tag

old man doctor yaoi prompt list :3

my house md oc :3

⭐️side blogs!⭐️

@ask-the-ducklings - ask/roleplay blog 4 the house md duckligns

1/2 of @meanwhile-on-the-road, the other half is pookie @sillyhyperfixator

@house-md-referrer - house md references

@theindierockcafe - writing blog

this will be mostly reblogs of my silly mutuals/my fyp, i try to make original content often! I ❤️ REBLOGGING ART YOU SHOULD DO IT TOO!!!! hope we can get along! ask me whatever! i don’t know! be nice and respectful cause i’m a minor!

SPAM MY ASK BOX :3 create lore, send me images, ask for comfort, WHATEVER!!!! im friendly and ill answer your ask eventually.

disclaimer; i live in the us and a snowflake so im occasionally political, nothing too extreme im just scared 👍 i also don’t spoiler tag!! sorry!

if you want me to share your fundraiser; give me some time to verify you!!!! i promise im not ignoring you!!

blinkies made in the blinkie cafe :3

[hellishere7980]

Whatever It Takes (CH-6)

From Plymouth, she made her way to London.

London. It fitted her. The clouds stopped the blinding sunlight from ever reaching the ground. Like a tamer version of Gotham. Obviously the crime rates were not near each other, but at least the atmosphere matched. Dark. Cloudy. Cold.

Six days after Ra’s Al-Ghul died.

One day she was sitting in the park when she came across a curious old woman. Mariam was just sitting on a bench, minding her own business when an old woman with a smiling face and a funny little bun came along and sat beside her on the bench. 

“You like the clouds, I see.” she said.

Normally Mariam would not have replied, but it was days since she had a decent conversation with anyone, soo…

“It keeps the heat down.” Is what she said in response.

“Heat in London?”

“If the clouds weren't here, it would be a nice warm day with blinding sunshine and what not.”

“True.”

With that, they both sat in silence. Soon it was lunchtime and the old lady got up.

“What would you like to have for lunch?” She asked.

“How do you know my mother has not made lunch for me already?” Mariam asked, assessing her from the corner of her eye.

“Because most kids who are to eat at home start looking around for their mother as soon as it dawns lunchtime.” The old lady asked, smiling at Mariam. “I was thinking. Sandwiches would make a splendid lunch. What do you say?”

“No, thank you.”

“Look, child. I can tell that you have some sort of training. And that you are on the run.” 

Mariam tensed.

“I'm not here to hurt you.” The old lady continued. “This is me trying to return- more accurately, pass on the favor. Someone much dear to me also suffers through this.”

“So this is your way of easing your guilt? You couldn't save your loved one, so now you're trying to save me? I don't need to be saved.” Mariam said, getting up.

“My Fu is alive, thank you very much.” The old lady replied, frustration seeping into her voice.

“Then why are you doing this?”

“Nobody should leave a child on their own.”

“Child.” Mariam let out a sarcastic laugh. “Haven't heard that in a while.”

“Come on, young lady. I think you would like to meet Fu.”

And that's how she met him. That's how she met Wang Fu. The Guardian of the Mother Miracle Box. That's how she learned the old lady's name. Marianne Lenoir. Curious little coincidence there. Marianne, Mariam. But her life was nothing if not a coincidence. Her birth to her survival. Coincidence.

Meanwhile, in America (Batcave)

“You realize, Bruce, she doesn't have that level of training!” A female figure said. Her frustration evident through the huge screen in the Batcave.

“Talia, I know you don't like the sound of it, but it fits.” Batman said, his cowl off. “Tell me, who else would have the training? We both know it's not that simple to kill Ra's Al Ghul. All his assassins always sweep a perimeter wherever he goes. They are constantly on rotating grounds, otherwise it would have been so easy to kill Ra's Al Ghul.”

“Bruce, you talk like I don't know that.” Talia said, the sounds of swords clashing behind her clear enough to echo through the batcave. “Oh, and I wish they would stop fighting already!” She said loudly, shooting a dirty look over her shoulder where the sound of swords was coming from. “Continuous clash. Even though they know they are outnumbered, they can't give up.”

Nightwing came from behind to stand beside Batman's chair. “Those rebel groups have not quite burned down yet?” 

“They would have, but they refused to change. Normally there wouldn't be so much rebellion if I had just inherited it, but father with all his ‘females are inferior’ complexity which By the way was known throughout the league. Those groups are simply unwilling to have a female Demon Head.” 

“It doesn't help that the League of Assassins is changing its aims, does it?” Nightwing asked with a sad smile.

“No it does not.” Talia agreed, slightly shaking her head. “How I wish she was here.”

“I'm sorry, Talia.” Bruce said. “But she simply vanished.”

“And that's what confuses me.” Talia said. “She doesn't have that level of training that she can simply disappear off the bat–”

“Pun intended?” Nightwing asked with a sly smile.

“No.” Talia said, rubbing her forehead. “Coming back to the topic, she couldn't have killed Father. You realize to kill him somebody would have had to throw the stone based on their pure aim and–” She threw her hands up in frustration. “It's not as easy to aim with a stone as it is to aim with a gun. Whoever did this had remarkable marksmanship.”

“There's no point in fretting over it, Talia. We have our systems up. I will check daily but I think we should trust her enough to know that she knows what she's doing.” Bruce said.

“Wait a minute. Hold up.” Nightwing said, turning towards him. “Where was this trust when I used to disappear?”

“Girls are more mature.” Bruce mumbled.

And the night ended with Nightwing's offended sounds and Talia's soft laughing.

Bonus:

Mariam looked at the floating green turtle creature in front of her. She stared at the creature, and the creature stared back at her. Fu and Marianne looked in anticipation from behind her.

Mariam turned to look at them, pointing at that floating green turtle thing. “ What in the unholy hell is THAT!?

Bonus #2

“So,” Mariam said as she and Fu made their way back to the massage parlor after bidding Marianne farewell at the train station. “How many Kwamis are there?”

“You are not ready for that information. Just as we don't put the noodles in the water unless it's boiling, you'll have to show patience before you are taught about the miraculous.”

“Excuse me Mister but this is a life, not a fucki** pot!”

[pearlprincess02]

LENGTH: 37 HR 52 MIN. songs below ↓

sagittarius rising / 1st house:

capricorn mars in 1st house

"green light" - lorde / "bury a friend" - billie eilish / "video games" - lana del rey / "habits (stay high)" - tove lo / "demons" - imagine dragons / "do i wanna know?" - arctic monkeys / "primadonna" - marina / "team" - lorde / "graveyard" - halsey / "somebody else" - the 1975 / "stressed out" - twenty one pilots / "the less i know the better" - tame impala / "gasoline" - halsey / "doin' time" - lana del rey / "viva la vida" - coldplay / "sweater weather" - the neighbourhood / "shake it out" - florence + the machine / "harmony hall" - vampire weekend / "pumped up kicks" - foster the people / "joy" - bastille /

capricorn chiron in 1st house

"young and beautiful" - lana del rey / "flaws" - bastille / "dirty paws" - of monsters and men / "human" - the killers / "liability" - lorde / "recover" - chvrches / "afraid" - the neighbourhood / "everything i wanted" - billie eilish / "eventually" - tame impala / "miracle" - chvrches / "born to die" - lana del rey / "this life" - vampire weekend / "fix you" - coldplay / "to be human" - marina / "idontwannabeyouanymore" - billie eilish / "writer in the dark" - lorde / "colors" - halsey / "movement" - hozier / "glad he's gone" - tove lo / "sit next to me" - foster the people /

sagittarius rising / 1st house

"the sound" - the 1975 / "on top of the world" - imagine dragons / "new americana" - halsey / "exile" - taylor swift (feat. bon iver) / "bad guy" - billie eilish / "you're somebody else" - flora cash / "adventure of a lifetime" - coldplay / "heather" - conan gray / "love me" - the 1975 / "cardigan" - taylor swift / "ocean eyes" - billie eilish / "little talks" - of monsters and men / "good grief" - bastille / "leave a trace" - chvrches / "summertime sadness" - lana del rey / "take me to church" - hozier /  "maniac" - conan gray / "if you're gonna lie" - fletcher / "ship to wreck" - florence + the machine / "mount everest" - labrinth /

aquarius 2nd house:

pisces uranus in 2nd house

"kids" - mgmt / "ho hey" - the lumineers / "midnight city" - m83 / "1901" - birdy / "take a walk" - passion pit / "electricity" - silk city, dua lipa / "digital love" - daft punk / "electric feel" - mgmt / "lisztomania" - phoenix / "tongue tied" - grouplove / "somebody that i used to know" - gotye (feat. kimbra) / "cherry" - lana del rey / "counting stars" - onerepublic / "1901" - phoenix / "i wanna get better" - bleachers / "love me again" - john newman / "dancing on my own" - robyn / "rather be" - clean bandit (feat. jess glynne) / "we found love" - rihanna (feat. calvin harris) / "can't feel my face" - the weeknd / 

aquarius neptune in 2nd house

"wish i knew you" - the revivalists / "young folks" - peter bjorn and john / "saturn" - sleeping at last / "such great heights" - the postal service / "islands" - the xx / "wide eyes" - local natives / "rebellion (lies)" - arcade fire / "silent treatment" - the joy formidable / "heartbeats" - the knife / "disparate youth" - santigold / "time to pretend" - mgmt / "elephant gun" - beirut / "dreaming" - smallpools / "all my friends" - lcd soundsystem / "shelter song" - temples / "sleepyhead" - passion pit / "oblivion" - grimes / "wetsuit" - the vaccines / "take me out" - franz ferdinand / "don't save me" - haim /

aquarius 2nd house

"knife under my pillow" - maggie lindemann / "idfc" - blackbear / "play date" - melanie martinez / "queen of broken hearts" - blackbear / "if we have each other" - alec benjamin / "josslyn" - olivia o'brien / "pretty girl" - maggie lindemann / "i miss you, i'm sorry" - gracie abrams / "dollhouse" - melanie martinez / "must have been the wind" - alec benjamin / "friends go" - maggie lindemann / "hot girl bummer" - blackbear / "cake" - melanie martinez / "let's fall in love for the night" - finneas / "no love" - olivia o'brien / "oh my god" - alec benjamin / "dog days are over" - florence + the machine / "me & ur ghost" - blackbear / "water fountain" - alec benjamin / "just a boy" - olivia o'brien / 

pisces 3rd house:

pisces venus in 3rd house

"ribs" - lorde / "in the aeroplane over the sea" - neutral milk hotel / "everywhere" - fleetwood mac / "toothpaste kisses" - the maccabees / "into my arms" - nick cave & the bad seeds / "budapest" - george ezra / "chasing cars" - snow patrol / "kiss me" - sixpence none the richer / "breathe" - télépopmusik / "unintended" - muse / "cosmic love" - florence + the machine / "atlas hands" - benjamin francis leftwich / "fade into you" - mazzy star / "first day of my life" - bright eyes / "dead sea" - the lumineers / "wicked game" - chris isaak / "lover, you should've come over" - jeff buckley / "skinny love" - bon iver / "hurt somebody" - noah kahan, julia michaels / "swim good" - frank ocean /

pisces 3rd house

"cherry wine" - hozier / "mykonos" - fleet foxes / "northern wind" - city and colour / "beneath your beautiful" - labrinth (feat. emeli sandé) / "let me down slowly" - alec benjamin / "dreams" - fleetwood mac / "how to disappear completely" - radiohead / "holocene" - bon iver / "when the party's over" - billie eilish / "marjorie" - taylor swift / "to build a home" - the cinematic orchestra / "where is my mind?" - pixies / "if u love me" - nessa barrett / "sleeping lessons" - the shins / "holding on" - disclosure (feat. gregory porter) / "breathe me" - sia / "all the stars" - kendrick lamar, sza / "lose yourself to dance" - daft punk (feat. pharrell williams) / "africa" - toto / "take on me" - a-ha / 

aries 4th house:

aries sun in 4th house

"naive" - the kooks / "you only live once" - the strokes / "she's so high" - tal bachman / "my number" - foals / "what you know" - two door cinema club / "shut up and dance" - walk the moon / "animal" - neon trees / "float on" - modest mouse / "riptide" - vance joy / "mr. brightside" - the killers / "feel It still" - portugal. the man / "don't stop me now" - queen / "ready to start" - arcade fire / "the middle" - jimmy eat world / "pompeii" - bastille / "youngblood" - 5 seconds of summer / "castle on the hill" - ed sheeran / "somebody told me" - the killers / "born this way" - lady gaga / "centuries" - fall out boy / 

taurus mercury in 4th house

"yellow" - coldplay / "say something" - a great big world, christina aguilera / "stubborn love" - the lumineers / "landslide" - fleetwood mac / "retrograde" - james blake / "someone like you" - adele / "all i want" - kodaline / "latch" - disclosure (feat. sam smith) / "re: stacks" - bon iver / "latchkey kids" - silversun pickups / "big jet plane" - angus & julia stone / "lost on you" - lp / "wild horses" - the rolling stones / "linger" - the cranberries / "river" - leon bridges / "stolen dance" - milky chance / "stay with me" - sam smith / "lost cause" - beck / "the scientist" - coldplay / "i won't give up" - jason mraz /

taurus lilith in 4th house

"reptilia" - the strokes / "animal" - miike snow / "stylo" - gorillaz (feat. mos def & bobby womack) / "shut up and let me go" - the ting tings / "hunger strike" - temple of the dog / "creep" - radiohead / "cough syrup" - young the giant / "bulls on parade" - rage against the machine / "fader" - the temper trap / "song 2" - blur / "uprising" - muse / "r u mine?" - arctic monkeys / "ways to go" - grouplove / "gold lion" - yeah yeah yeahs / "seven nation army" - the white stripes / "it's time" - imagine dragons / "no one knows" - queens of the stone age / "little talks" - of monsters and men / "fell in love with a girl" - the white stripes / "tyrants" - catfish and the bottlemen /

aries 4th house

"believer" - imagine dragons / "the one " - fletcher / "checkmate" - conan gray / "all for us" - labrinth (feat. zendaya) / "stupid" - tate mcrae / "nightmare" - halsey / "blank space" - taylor swift / "pain" - nessa barrett / "forever" - fletcher / "electric blue" - arcade fire / "mind is a prison" - alec benjamin / "the archer" - taylor swift / "experiment on me" - halsey / "blue jeans" - lana del rey / "titanium" - david guetta (feat. sia) / "happier" - marshmello (feat. bastille) / "the man" - taylor swift / "good life" - onerepublic / "i bet my life" - imagine dragons / "rolling in the deep" - adele /

taurus 5th house:

taurus north node in 5th house

"tighten up" - the black keys / "tongue" - r.e.m. / "lost in my mind" - the head and the heart / "goodbye yellow brick road" - elton john / "something good can work" - two door cinema club / "lover" - taylor swift / "forever" - labrinth / "finally // beautiful stranger" - halsey / "wish you were sober" - conan gray / "love it if we made it" - the 1975 / "cornelia street" - taylor swift / "youth" - daughter / "uptown girl" - billy joel / "this is what you came for" - calvin harris (feat. rihanna) / "don't start now" - dua lipa /  "daylight" - taylor swift / "happy" - pharrell williams / "i gotta feeling" - the black eyed peas / "treasure" - bruno mars / "shake it off" - taylor swift /

gemini part of fortune in 5th house

"style" - taylor swift / "still don't know my name" - labrinth / "dancing with myself" - billy idol / "boom clap" - charli xcx / "a-punk" - vampire weekend / "ain't it fun"  - paramore / "me!" - taylor swift (feat. brendon urie) / "high hopes" - panic! at the disco / "unbelievers"  - vampire weekend / "tennis court" - lorde / "reflections" - misterwives / "still into you" - paramore / "blinding lights" - the weeknd / "out of my league" - fitz and the tantrums / "i wanna dance with somebody (who loves me)" - whitney houston / "helena beat" - foster the people /  "good as hell" - lizzo / "rollercoaster"- bleacher / "victorious" - panic! at the disco / "it's not living (if it's not with you)"  - the 1975 / 

taurus 5th house

"cruel summer" - taylor swift / "love song" - lana del rey / "taro" - alt-j / "i don't want your money" - ed sheeran & h.e.r. / "sugar" - maroon 5 / "uptown funk" - mark ronson (feat. bruno mars) / "wildest dreams" - taylor swift / "golden hour" - kacey musgraves / "isn't she lovely" - stevie wonder / "thinking out loud" - ed sheeran / "cake by the ocean" - dnce / "all of me" - john legend / "don't know why"- norah jones / "september" - earth, wind & fire / "teenage dream" - katy perry / "this will be (an everlasting love)" - natalie cole / "if i ain't got you" - alicia keys / "i'm yours" - jason mraz / "just the way you are" - bruno mars / "put your records on"- corinne bailey rae / 

gemini 6th house:

"fluorescent adolescent" - arctic monkeys / "backseat freestyle" - kendrick lamar / "feel good inc." - gorillaz /  "the edge of glory" - lady gaga / "good 4 u" - olivia rodrigo / "cool kids" - echosmith / "skin" - sabrina carpenter / "mine" - taylor swift / "back to you" - selena gomez /  "the wire" - haim / "issues" - julia michaels /  "death bed (coffee for your head)" - powfu (feat. beabadoobee) / "leave before you love me" - marshmello, jonas brothers / "drivers license" - olivia rodrigo / "youth" - troye sivan / "dance yrself clean" - lcd soundsystem / "cut to the feeling"- carly rae jepsen / "houdini" - foster the people / "just dance"- lady gaga / "how to be a heartbreaker"  - marina and the diamonds / 

gemini 7th house:

gemini saturn in 7th house

"maps" - maroon 5 / "hurt" - johnny cash / "the night we met" - lord huron / "the chain" - fleetwood mac / "gravity" - sara bareilles / "stay" - rihanna (feat. mikky ekko) / "nothing compares 2 u" - sinead o'connor / "maps" - yeah yeah yeahs / "mad world" - gary jules / "hallelujah" - jeff buckley / "holocene" - bon iver / "all too well (10 minute version)" - taylor swift / "say you won't let go" - james arthur / "chandelier" - sia / "a thousand years" - christina perri / "gravity" - john mayer / "bad at love" - halsey / "earned it" - the weeknd / "when i was your man" - bruno mars / "let it go" - james bay / 

gemini 7th house

"one kiss" - calvin harris & dua lipa / "northern downpour" - panic! at the disco / "two weeks" - grizzly bear / "into you" - ariana grande / "shape of you" - ed sheeran / "bubblegum bitch" - marina / "hello"- adele / "i'm not the only one" - sam smith / "stitches"- shawn mendes / "mirrors" - justin timberlake / "ordinary people"- john legend / "something just like this"- the chainsmokers (feat. coldplay) / "we don't talk anymore" - charlie puth (feat. selena gomez) / "new rules" - dua lipa / "slow dancing in a burning room" - john mayer / "love song" - sara bareilles / "jar of hearts" - christina perri / "she will be loved" - maroon 5 / "can't stop the feeling!"- justin timberlake / "physical" - dua lipa /

leo 8th house:

leo jupiter in 8th house

"high enough to carry you over" - chvrches / "my silver lining" - first aid kit / "i bet you look good on the dancefloor" - arctic monkeys / "royals" - lorde / "human" - rag'n'bone man / "gooey" - glass animals / "radioactive" - imagine dragons / "heathens" - twenty one pilots / "dark necessities" - red hot chili peppers / "glory and gore" - lorde / "sex on fire" - kings of leon / "shake me down" - cage the elephant / "electric love" - borns / "breezeblocks" - alt-j / "bohemian rhapsody"  - queen / "reflektor" - arcade fire / "formation" - beyoncé / "starboy" - the weeknd / "dna." - kendrick lamar / "skyfall" - adele / 

leo vertex in 8th house

"livin' on a prayer" - bon jovi / "oblivion" - bastille / "runaway" - aurora / "little lion man" - mumford & sons / "where the streets have no name" - U2 / "heroes" - david bowie / "halo"  - beyoncé / "i will always love you" - whitney houston / "stairway to heaven" - led zeppelin / "born to run" - bruce springsteen / "dream on"- aerosmith / "fighter" - christina aguilera / "gimme shelter" - the rolling stones / "we are the champions"  - queen / "purple rain" - prince / "rocket man" - elton john / "knights of cydonia" - muse / "go your own way" - fleetwood mac / "like a prayer" - madonna / "thriller" - michael jackson /

leo 8th house

"express yourself" - madonna / "superstition"  - stevie wonder / "i'm still standing" - elton john / "let's go crazy" - prince / "billie jean" - michael jackson / "you give love a bad name" - bon jovi / "run the world (girls)" - beyoncé / "bad romance"- lady gaga / "roar"- katy perry / "life on mars?"- david bowie / "gorilla" - bruno mars / "beautiful day" - U2 / "thinkin bout you" - frank ocean / "yellow flicker beat"  - lorde / "talking body" - tove lo / "partition" - beyoncé / "love on the brain"  - rihanna / "magic" - coldplay / "animals" - maroon 5 / "god is a woman"  - ariana grande / 

virgo 9th house:

"oxford comma" - vampire weekend / "all we ever knew" - the head and the heart / "hunger" - florence + the machine / "high and dry" - radiohead / "lost in the light" - bahamas / "the suburbs" - arcade fire / "come away with me" - norah jones / "helplessness blues" - fleet foxes / "i will wait" - mumford & sons / "no such thing" - john mayer / "home" - phillip phillips / "better together"- jack johnson / "paradise"- coldplay / "hey, soul sister" - train / "rivers and roads"  - the head and the heart / "three little birds" - bob marley & the wailers / "brave" - sara bareilles / "bubbly" - colbie caillat / "begin again" - taylor swift / "waiting on the world to change" - john mayer /

libra 10th house:

scorpio moon in 10th house

"gun" - chvrches / "my body" - young the giant / "some nights" - fun. / "deadcrush" - alt-j / "the weekend" - sza / "swimming pools (drank)" - kendrick lamar / "glory box" - portishead / "him & i" - g-eazy & halsey / "waiting game" - banks / "hurt" - nine inch nails / "what kind of man"  - florence + the machine / "elastic heart"  - sia / "ride" - lana del rey / "drowning"- banks / "the hills"- the weeknd / "cellophane" - fka twigs / "all mine" - portishead / "national anthem" - lana del rey / "haunted"  - beyoncé / "diamonds" - rihanna /

libra 10th house

"watermelon sugar" - harry styles / "love on top" - beyoncé / "roads" - portishead / "love story" - taylor swift / "thank u, next" - ariana grande / "thunder" - imagine dragons / "clocks" - coldplay / "too good at goodbyes"- sam smith /"locked out of heaven" - bruno mars / "irreplaceable" - beyoncé / "set fire to the rain" - adele / "sign of the times" - harry styles / "dangerous woman" - ariana grande / "alive"- sia / "paparazzi"  - lady gaga / "delilah"- florence + the machine / "without me" - halsey / "empire state of mind (part II) broken down"- alicia keys / "kill em with kindness" - selena gomez / "sorry not sorry" - demi lovato / 

scorpio 11th house:

"bad blood" - taylor swift (feat. kendrick lamar) / "closer" - the chainsmokers (feat. halsey) /  "dark paradise" - lana del rey / "live in the moment" - portugal. the man / "gemini feed" - banks / "505" - arctic monkeys / "ride"- twenty one pilots / "misery business" - paramore / "7 rings" - ariana grande / "firework" - katy perry / "you should see me in a crown" - billie eilish / "often"- the weeknd / "hands to myself" - selena gomez / "redbone" - childish gambino / "humble." - kendrick lamar / "don't let me down" - the chainsmokers (feat. daya) / "22"- taylor swift / "party in the u.s.a." - miley cyrus / "we are young" - fun. (feat. janelle monáe) / "count on me"  - bruno mars /

sagittarius 12th house:

sagittarius pluto in 12th house

"no one's gonna love you" - band of horses / "sleep forever" - portugal. the man / "obstacles" - syd matters / "bloodstream" - stateless / "take care" - beach house / "oceans" - seafret / "the funeral" - band of horses / "pink + white" - frank ocean / "comfortably numb" - pink floyd / "white winter hymnal"  - fleet foxes / "space song" - beach house / "limit to your love" - james blake / "open" - rhye / "two weeks"- fka twigs / "gold" - chet faker / "jóga"- björk / "myth" - beach house / "everything in its right place"- radiohead / "hoppípolla" - sigur rós / "mystery of love" - sufjan stevens / 

sagittarius 12th house

"a dustland fairytale" - the killers / "visions of gideon" - sufjan stevens / "cannons" - youth lagoon / "bloodbuzz ohio" - the national / "kettering" - the antlers / "buzzcut season" - lorde / "song for zula" - phosphorescent / "flightless bird, american mouth" - iron & wine / "secrets" - the weeknd / "sæglópur"  - sigur rós / "obsessions"  - marina / "feels like we only go backwards" - tame impala / "intro"- the xx / "all i need" - radiohead / "i need my girl"  - the national / "the wilhelm scream"  - james blake / "new slang"  - the shins / "wicked games" - the weeknd / "under the pressure" - the war on drugs / "feel it all around" - washed out / 

(anon ask)

@pearlprincess02

[mimisempai]

Home is not a place

Summary

Walking home, looking around, Aziraphale recalls moments from his past and, above all, realizes that home isn't where you are, but who's there.

Notes

I just love the feeling of being home

On Ao3

Rating G -  1080 words

Aziraphale would never tire of this sight. 

On his way back from some errands, the sight of "A.Z. Fell And Co." had a way of soothing him. It was the sight that told him, "Welcome home."

But not because it was his bookshop.

The sense of belonging that made him think he was home came not from the place, but from the person who was there.

Just knowing that Crowley was there had that kind of power.

Though he hadn't been away long, Aziraphale felt like the sailors who sailed into the storm and saw the light of the lighthouse pointing them to safe harbor. 

No matter how chaotic the outside world was, when the angel saw this, he knew that once the door was closed, once he would be with his demon, the chaos would fade away to make way for the warmth of their home.

His gaze fell on the Dirty Donkey, and inevitably he thought back to the elevator door to their former sides, from which no one had come for several months.

His throat tightened at the thought of how close he'd come to following Metatron there and leaving everything here.

"Anything you need to take with you?"

Metatron's question, which had made him realize that he couldn't leave, echoed in his mind.

He couldn't leave all the things and places that reminded him of Crowley and their history together. He had realized in that moment that it would be like amputating a part of himself. 

Even today, the mere thought of it made him shudder with dread.

Instinctively, he turned his head toward the bookshop, and the sight of Muriel and Crowley chatting instantly brought him peace.

Yes, that was their life today.

There had been so many misunderstandings and unspoken words between him and Crowley.  They were still learning to speak and act openly with each other, and their team of two had been joined by others. Muriel, Nina, Maggie, Mrs. Sandwhich, Justine and even the annoying Mr. Brown. 

He was now only a few feet from the bookshop.

Home.

As Crowley escorted Muriel to the door of the bookstore, Aziraphale thought back to their first encounter with the angel.

What a change.

He watched in amusement as Crowley pulled Muriel's woolly hat over their head and couldn't help but smile fondly, knowing that under the guise of teasing the angel, the demon was just making sure they were well covered for the winter cold.

His nice demon pretending not to be nice.

But Crowley could no longer pretend with Aziraphale, not when right now, unaware he was being watched, he was following Muriel with his eyes, an affectionate expression on his face.

"He's quite fond of our little bee, isn't he?"

Aziraphale gasped slightly, lost in his thoughts he hadn't seen Nina leave the coffee-shop and come closer. 

He just nodded and Nina added, "He still thinks no one can see through his game when he's just a piece of marshmallow once he interacts with Muriel."

Aziraphale chuckled before replying, "For your sake, I will not repeat your words to him."

Nina smirked before saying, "Like he'd do anything to me.  Mr. Grumpy, right? He is grumpy in name only now. Anyway, I have to go home, have a good night."

Nina didn't wait for an answer and went on her way, obviously to Maggie.

The coffee-shop owner was right, and it warmed Aziraphale's heart that other people could see beneath Crowley's mocking demeanor and see what a good person he was.

And good he was.

Aziraphale had lost count of how many times he'd been the recipient of the demon's kindness.

"Oh, the books. Oh. I forgot all the books. Oh, they'll all be blown to..."

Aziraphale hadn't even finished his sentence when the demon handed him his satchel of books and said quietly, "Little demonic miracle of my own."

As if the miracle of saving him wasn't enough.

"Lift home?"

Aziraphale watched in amazement as the demon walked past him to the Bentley.

That day he had known, or rather he had stopped lying to himself.

He was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with Crowley.

Even if nothing had happened between them then, the dynamics of their relationship had changed and planted the roots of their current one.

They had both reaffirmed the fragile mutual trust that had germinated millennia ago.

Aziraphale had found in Crowley a listening and understanding ear, and had been able to express his fears and doubts. Crowley had accepted and validated all. He had found in Crowley a partner who complemented him, who allowed him to be himself, far from the expectations of heaven, which had long ago made it clear to him that he would never measure up.

Crowley had helped him rebuild what heaven had fractured inside him.

What a journey...

Watching Crowley greet Justine from a distance, smile, and return to the bookshop, Aziraphale couldn't help but feel the love he had for him all the more. 

Crowley had his back to him and was about to turn to close the door when Aziraphale hurriedly took the last few steps between him and the demon and, placing a hand on his shoulder, said softly, "Good evening, my dear."

The ange3 closed the door behind him as the demon turned and said, "Angel, are you here already? I thought you'd be a little longer. Not that I'm complaining, but..."

The demon couldn't finish his sentence because Aziraphale had cupped his face with his hands and pulled it down to his own, planting a tender kiss on his lips before saying softly, "Thank you."

"Thank you for what?" the demon asked, a little confused.

"For being here. For having stayed."

Aziraphale let one of his hands linger on the demon's cheek and added, "On the way home, I looked around at the street, the people, the bookshop, you inside, and I remembered a lot of things, good and bad, and most of all I realized that it's not the walls of this place that make it my home, but the fact that you're in it."

Crowley took Aziraphale's hand on his cheek and brought it to his lips before saying softly, "It's not because I'm there, Angel. It is because we are there."

"We," the angel repeated, his voice tight with emotion, then he added, smiling softly, "I'm glad to be home."

Crowley, with the same smile on his lips, replied just as gently, "Welcome home, Angel.”

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Growing Love series : (After season 2) 

Part 1 Story 1-99

Part 2 Story 100-?

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here (Before season 2)