#A FOCUS ON SATISFACTION

[fatedroses]

he is indeed very proud of himself.

[tennessoui]

girl your hanahaki au is absolutely wrecking my shit i--- I don't ever read ongoing fics and this is why. I just cannot wait?!? But the waiting somehow makes it better too?!? I'm literally dead bro I can't I love it so much

hahah omg thank you !! I’m really happy to hear you took a chance on this wip and that you like it so much!

not to get on my soapbox or anything but you have given me a great corner to shout from

as a disclaimer I totally understand why people will choose not to read wips and I truly think you know your mental health and what you can stand to wonder about/think about/obsess over/NEED to know a conclusion for better than anyone else

BUT as a writer who almost exclusively posts in wips, people reading them before they’re finished is my life blood and I am so grateful and it makes the writing process so much more fun for me because I know at least someone else is invested in my brainworm of a story?? someone else is enjoying it and thinking about it and I’m putting a small amount of good into the world??

the best analogy I’ve been able to come up with is like:

when you read a finished fic you’re eating a whole meal and that’s great that’s so amazing (especially if you tell the cook you liked it after you’re done). and you’re literally always welcome to eat that meal whenever you want. finished fics are like standing dinner invitations: I am always happy to have you and I mean that very genuinely

but if you read a wip, you’re keeping me company in the kitchen while I cook. and that’s sort of priceless. in some instances, you can even tell me the food needs more spice and I’ll think about it and listen!!! you’re sitting on my kitchen counter as I bustle around my space and we’re talking about what I’m doing and also how I’m feeling and maybe how you’re feeling and it just feels like community more than anything else I’ve experienced in any fandom. like you’re with me in my space as I’m creating food I hope you like. we’re both invested and it’s amazing

and I think in general that’s why wips are a lot of fun and also maybe why the waiting between chapters is fun for you - you’ve suggested that I add paprika to the pot and you’re waiting and wondering if I will, and I’m laughing and hoping you like the soup either way but also wondering if paprika will work with the recipe, and if I can add a bit to it just for you while staying true to the dish I envisioned at the get go.

[greenleaf4stuff]

Do you think guilt will make Durin pull away from Elrond now? I can see him feeling guilty for not being there in person/dwarves not getting there in time to save Eregion. And because Elrond seems to wear his heart on his sleeve, clearly loves fiercely and shows emotions more openly than other elves, in my opinion, it would be out of character for him to not be depressed/traumatised after the battle and probably exhausted and not taking care of himself properly. Which would increase Durin's guilt. And then Elrond wouldn't blame him and be really nice about it all but that would again just increase the guilt.

Hi anon! :) Sorry I needed a few days to answer this!

Oh, good question - I think guilt could potentially play into how Elrond and Durin interact in the future, but I think it will be part of a whole cocktail of emotions and experiences those two will have to deal with after s2, both on their own and towards one another. They both had a pretty Bad Time this season.

Further thoughts below the cut:

Durin had to argue with and defy his own father, which - considering he is the king - had consequences not just for himself. There was the whole issue with the ring. And then the Balrog happened and Durin lost his father. And instead of being able to take the time to mourn, now both he and his brother claim the throne for themselves, leaving Khazad-dûm more vulnerable.

Elrond fought to defend Eregion, lost a lot of elves in the battle - comrades, friends. Lost his will to fight for a moment. Almost lost Galadriel multiple times. Lost Celebrimbor. The battle. Eregion, Galadriel's ring. Saw the uruk burn Celebrimbor's scrolls. And during one of his lowest moments gave up hope Durin's dwarves would arrive, and they did indeed not quite make it in time, but they came.

So yeah, I think if we take all of this into account, those two are left with a myriad of feelings they will have to work through and problems they have to face now. S3 might see Elrond be focused on Rivendell, while Durin has to face his own problems Khazad-dûm. It might leave them precious little time to deal with their recent losses, and even less to reach out towards each other and (re)connect. Esp considering they need to focus on their own people and that Sauron is out there with the nine rings and an army of uruk.

They both had a difficult time being there for each other, with all that was happening in s2. So yes, guilt might play into it a bit, but I think there is a lot more than that which might play into their relationship going forward.

I personally hope they understand each other well enough to know they are both in a difficult spot - the way they both handled the mithril situation in S1 gives me a lot of hope in that regard -, but we'll see where the story takes us.

[butchlifeguard]

attention spans dont real lmao. nothing about the condition or support needs of yr adhd can be measured by measuring yr attention span because the nature of adhd is that attention span is incredibly variable. this is bc adhd is characterized by dopamine seeking behavior and not just a timer until we get bored and go on our phones

[spankingtheatre]

Any advice for a naughty bottom without a top sir?

Been struggling with that a bit lately and you seem like the right person to ask. It’s mostly been focus and motivation difficulties, which, especially given that finals are fast approaching the lack of anyone to stay accountable to has been a struggle for me…

I hear this problem so often, I wrote a long post about it, which I highly recommend you read.

When those aroused by spanking are struggling for focus, they might blame their predicament on a lack of good strict old-fashioned discipline in their lives. But that's not actually the real deficiency.

Having someone to scold and punish you won't improve your focus. It may make you wet, and give you the life-affirming glow that comes from being under the heady spotlight of another's attention. But whilst these are great outcomes, they won't solve the fundamental lack of motivation you're experiencing.

You are the solution to your lack of focus, not a top.

You need to update how you think, starting by understanding what motivation is, and where it comes from. Part of this is throwing any outdated notions of "willpower" you might hold into the bin, and replacing it with an understanding of how the neurochemistry of your brain works.

Pleasure matters - no matter how we achieve it - because it closes a vital psychological loop:

See how pleasure and motivation and imagination are all connected? Each needs the other, without any one of them, experiences never provide us with satisfaction.

Authority figures are hot and make for fantastic fantasies, but the true path to getting motivated is not a strict hand, but a kind mind, good goals, and the joy of rewards.

So, with your exams imminent you need motivation to study, that requires strong visualisation, committing to putting in the necessary effort, and then rewarding yourself appropriately before you start the next loop. It's important to do these steps in the right order.

So, read that article, and if you've any questions afterwards, send a follow-up message and I'll do my best to answer. Good luck!

[afairerplace]

Oh would that I were not an absolute moron in Python!

[fist-amidst-the-hands]

having stripper izzy thoughts... he has a pair of regulars who like to book a room and request him for a private show. the leather daddy looking one (ed, he's learned) always settles back against booth first, one leg extended to rest on the bench and the other bent at the knee, foot planted firmly on the floor. the colorful polished one (stede) follows and sits in his lap, getting the perfect view of izzy while his boyfriend (at least izzy assumes ed's his boyfriend at this point, they've made this a bit of a habit) gets the perfect view of him

it's not that unusual for izzy to perform for a couple, though more often he's requested for groups (friends, coworkers, strangers, sometimes he can't tell). mostly he prefers it that way - all the more satisfying when he can make everyone in the room feel like they have a personal connection with him. that's the name of the game right, to make them want and feel wanted?

but this couple... they're different in a way that pulls at izzy's gut and makes him ache. stede watches izzy with devotion and izzy's learned what makes him bite his lip, what makes his eyes flutter, and how to get his head to tilt just so. his gaze is intoxicating, full of open adoration izzy wants to drown in

while stede watches izzy, ed mostly watches stede. sometimes he's leaned in close to stede's ear, whispering words izzy can never quite make out. what he can make out are stede's reactions, expressions unrestrained and on full display for both of them. sometimes ed leans back against the wall, one hand or the other resting on stede's thigh or hip or lower back. one time izzy notices them hold hands, fingers laced together, and it makes something else in him ache. other times ed actually does watch izzy, with his chin resting on stede's shoulder and something deep, something hungry in his eyes consuming as much of him as they can

if stede's gaze is the thing he wants to drown in ed's is the thing he wants to pull him under

[embracedthevoid]

Trying to figure out how to motivate myself to write this last chapter of IAL like no other. Send help.

[rupertholmes]

oh yeah!! haha i never posted this!

[ginneke]

sort of a non-update: Flowers from your Beloathed is on semi-permanent hiatus unless and until I can muster any sort of joy or liking in it again.

[liesandbrokenhearts]

When I eat edibles it just makes me overthink things even more which can be really nice if I wanna be analytical about something I like, like art and music and film but it can also be terrible if my self image stuff comes up because I will sit and overthink that for the rest of time instead of enjoying being at a heightened state of understanding of the other things

[good-beanswrites]

My english lyrics for Triage woo! (They're written out under the cut, I just wanted to share my lil chart lol)

Though I'm too indecisive to officially label this as my favorite song, it's had the strongest emotional impact on me by far. It holds a special place in my heart, I definitely wanted to write lyrics for it first! I'll leave all my rambling process commentary in the tags, but I was so happy with how it came out!!

All of those cards of promise thrown down carelessly,

This must be retribution for all I've taken endlessly.

If that were the case, it should have been fate for me to die.

That's the truth, given my crime, so why--?

No, I can't take it, to this cruel joke I'll submit. You

don't know, you can't know, but I'm ready to admit:

Killing for them, extracting for them, won't change the fact they're dead.

I need someone to tag me as RED.

It makes me sick (sick), it's too unpleasant. Sick (sick)

Is this punishment? What do you mean I'm INNOCENT?

I see, the world is cruel and leaves you on your own.

(I can't die) to atone. (I can't love) alone.

I can't be saved (saved), you've nothing to give. Saved (saved)

But what if I lived? Why else would you choose to forgive?

I see, there's lives to save so let's be sensible.

Right now, you need me, (I can be) indispensable.

Tilt to and fro, I know the scales should land on GUILTY for me.

Tilt fro and to, it's INNOCENT that they choose.

They cry (x4) out in pain, I can hear them. There's no one else, to guard their health,

My mission is offering help.

All of those cards of promise thrown down carelessly,

This must be retribution for all I've taken endlessly.

So if that's the case, then it must be fate to make amends,

Extract that fang before we meet the end.

It makes me sick (sick), it's too unpleasant. Sick (sick)

Is this punishment? What do you mean I'm INNOCENT?

I see, the world is cruel, but what I've realized is

(Now I want) to be INNOCENT. (Now I want) to live.

It makes me sick (sick), This wasn't my plan, hostages at my command.

Their future resting in my hands

I see, there's lives to save so let's be sensible.

Right now, please save me, (I will be) indispensable.

Maybe this was meant to be -- oh  -- or maybe neither of us can know

There's lives to save so let's be sensible.

Right now, please save me, (I will be) indispensable.

---

I mentioned earlier that I always get annoyed with myself when people post translyrics and I can't figure out the rhythm they were going for, so here's a recording of me singing, but I'm bad at it! It's just for fun! Like a rough draft for music! Because the only thing worse than people hearing my voice is people thinking I can't count syllables!

[fissions-chips]

So many Valentine thoughts, and nothing to do with them atm

[spankingtheatre]

Lately sir, I’ve been fantasizing about a long, hard spanking, but not as a punishment. I imagine it after finals are over, when I’ve done everything I have to do. And once all of that is taken care of, then it’ll happen. How exactly, my brain has yet to fill in the blank, but still. It’s a nice thought to end the day on.

The very best of luck to everyone with final exams coming up.

As I explained in a recent post, pleasure and prospect of pleasurable experiences are not whimsical distractions, but vital parts of our inner process of motivation and action.

It's worth saying that having good incentives and being kind to yourself will result in far better academic performance than being unkind and excessively strict with yourself. I learned that lesson late in life, I wish I'd realised it sooner.

Fantasies reduce stress, and give us positive things to look forward to, so they're a crucial part of our psychological health. So, allow your mind time to think of nice things, and good luck to everyone!