#A Classic Retold
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Year So Far Book Asks: 1, 10, 11
1. Best book you have read in 2023 so far
I've read five 5-star books so far this year. Out of those five, three stand out as the best books of the year.
Chase the Legend by Hannah Kaye, an epic sci-fantasy retelling of Moby Dick. It's part of the series A Classic Retold, a multi-author series of standalone books by nine different authors. I was blown away by the incredible character arcs, epic adventure, and themes of healing, friendship, and found family.
Crack the Stone by Emily Golus, another book in the A Classic Retold Series. This one is a Les Miserables retelling that features an escaped goblin convict who adopts a human child. It captures the poignant themes of Les Mis in a short novel.
10. A book that made you happy
The View from Saturday by E. L. Konigsburg, which I talked about here. 11. Most beautiful book you have bought or received this year
That honor belongs to three books I requested for my birthday, including Chase the Legend by Hannah Kaye (mentioned above), Summon the Light by Tor Thibeaux (yet another book in the A Classic Retold series), and Rebel Wave by Tor Thibeaux (a favorite book that now has a paperback; it's an undersea dystopian adventure featuring great characters, submarines, and underwater cities). They are even more shiny and glorious in real life than they are in pictures. I have to share these beautiful covers.
#ask game#asks#questions#books#reading#reading update#currently reading#isfjmel-phleg#thank you for the ask!#book recs#favorite books#a classic retold#hannah kaye#chase the legend#tor thibeaux#rebel wave#summon the light#emily golus#crack the stone#book asks#book ask game#book covers
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Steal the Morrow by Jenelle Leanne Schmidt!
#StealTheMorrow an #OliverTwist retelling by #JenelleSchmidt full of heart and adventure! #fantasybooks #cleanreads #cleanbooks #indiebooks #indiereads #steampunkbooks #retellings
Yes, there’s another book release from Jenelle! Can you believe how much she’s published this year? See my post about her other series The Turrim Archive earlier this year! But today is about Steal the Morrow, which is a fantastical Oliver Twist retelling and part of the A Classic Retold multi-author series. NOW AVAILABLE Universal Buy Link: mybook.to/stealthemorrow Universal Series Page Link:…
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#a classic retold#author Jenelle leanne schmidt#author Jenelle Schmidt#bookart#bookmagic#bookreveal#books like Narnia#books like wingfeather saga#books with friendships#bookshelf#christianauthor#clean fantasy reads#clean reads#coverreveal#epic adventures books#fantasycoverart#gaslampfantasybooks#indie author#indieauthor#Jenelle Leanne Schmidt#Jenelle Schmidt#magicfantasy#newbookrelease#newfantasybooks#newyafantasy#oliver twist retelling#realmieauthor#retellings
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Secrets on the Shore, 1892
Jacques Joseph Léopold Loustau
Orestes by Euripides 408 BCE
Tr. Anne Carson 2009
#euripides#anne carson#secrets on the shore#jacques joseph leopold loustau#but make it gay#sapphic#love#classics retold#wlw
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Mario girls cosplaying as female characters from Sekai Meisaku Douwa/Classic Tales Retold/The World's Greatest Fairy Tales (1975, 1979)
1 + 2. Princess (Aladdin and the Wonderful Lamp)
3. Thumbelina
4 + 5. Cinderella
#sekai meisaku douwa#classic tales retold#the world's greatest fairy tales#cinderella#aladdin and the wonderful lamp#princess#thumbelina#1975#1979#princess peach#peach#princess daisy#daisy
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In a move that may be surprising to people who know both it and me, I'm only now listening to Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of The War of the Worlds
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Normally I don't do this, but I felt this was an important book. I have never read the original, but this book means so much to me. The way it is written is extremely validating and I seriously recommend it, especially if you are a trans man.
I'm going to let the summary speak for itself, it is written by a Latinx trans masculine author.
#transgender#fiction books#young adult#classic book remix#pride and prejudice#retold stories#lgbtqia
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y'know going from being madly obsessed with a steampunk storytelling cabaret band to being madly obsessed with a doll line's tie-ins meant to sell toys to children to being madly obsessed with a 2004 eroge visual novel which was never actually released in english might seem like a weird trajectory for my interests but tbh if you actually understand any of them like at all it makes perfect sense
#the mechanisms 🤝 ever after high 🤝 fate stay night#being an adaptational mash-up of various classic stories which interact heavily with the way said stories are retold#and how it effects the subjects of said stories (more eah and fsn than the mechs but it is there a little bit)#romeo.txt
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Percival Everett || James
Booker Prize Shortlist 2024 James received raving reviews. The re-write of Huckleberry Finn was lauded for being ‘Gripping, painful, funny, horrifying, a multi-level entertainment, a consummate performance to the last.’ I can agree with many of these: I found the novel at times painful, funny and horrifying, I failed to find it gripping however. I agree that James contains many levels, I am not…
#reading is fun#African-American literature#African-American perspective#American classic retold#American literature#civil war#discrimination#enslaved#Great Novel#Great reading#James#literature#North and South#Percival Everett#racism#slavery#Southern perspective on the enslaved
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Hi there!! Do you like Pirates?! What about interesting characters and plot?! What about classic books told in the audio format?!?! Well I do too! I have started posting audio chapters for the Book "Treasure Island"!!
This classic adventure book by Robert Louis Stevenson has some of the best characterizations I have ever read and I am enthralled by how quick Billy Bones and Long John Silver come to life on these pages! I wanted to share chapter 1 with everyone to encourage them to go out and read this classic story or just keep listening along with me!
I hope you all enjoy and thank you all for the love and support!!
#treasure island#classic story#tales retold#treasure#island#adventure#mystery#thriller#pirates#long john silver#billy bones#chapter 1#reading#books#reading is my therapy#reading is sexy#audio#audiobooks#Youtube
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Happy International Lesbian Day! Here's some super brief book recs to celebrate
Books dealing with love, loss, longing and abandonment
This is How You Lose The Time War is a short but beautifully written epistolary novel between two agents on opposite sides of a time war as they slowly fall in love.
Our Wives Under the Sea is one of the most beautifully written debuts I've ever read about a woman whose wife comes home wrong after they thought she'd died at sea and how it feels to grieve the loss of someone who's still in your home.
Lucky Red is a western novel about a young girl working in a brothel who meets her first female gunslinger and falls head over heels for her, and the consequences that come with loving dangerous people.
Body horror galore
Camp Damascus is about a young woman living in a super conservative christian town built around the worlds most successful conversion camp and the horrors that are uncovered there when praying the gay away fails.
To Be Devoured is about a woman whose fascination with the local vultures turns into obsession and the urge to know what carrion tastes like overtakes her life and leads her down stranger and stranger paths.
Chlorine is about a girl whose entire life revolves around being a competitive swimmer, and how abuse, neglect, and obsession with being the best takes its toll on the young women caught up in these destructive cycles.
Flawed character studies
Big Swiss is about a woman who has a kitchen floor reset in her 40s, moves away and starts a new life as a transcriber for a sex therapist and becomes obsessed with one of his clients before inserting herself into this poor woman's life.
The Seep is a speculative sci-fi set in a future where there's been a quiet alien invasion that has given people the ability to make almost any changes to their own bodies and what that world feels like to someone who doesn't want to partake.
Milk Fed is about a woman in therapy who feels cut off from almost everything until she meets another woman who triggers in her a melding of sex, hunger, and religion and where that takes her. Huge trigger warnings for ED content. It gets tough, y'all.
Fantastical wlw books
Bitterthorn is an amalgamation of fairytales retold as a slow burn sapphic love story between a sad young girl from a cursed land and the evil witch who takes her as a companion in the latest of the generational sacrifices made to appease her.
All the Bad Apples may be set in contemporary Ireland but it is a fairytale following a young girl as she travels across the country looking for a sister she refuses to believe is dead and the people she meets along the way.
Gideon the Ninth needs no introduction on this site but for the sake of formatting - lesbian necromancers in space who find themselves in an isolated murder mystery plot. It's not a romance but it is a love story and this series will change your life if you let it.
Translated novels
Boulder is a short character study following a free spirited woman when she accidentally settles down with the woman she loves and how love and resentment can take up the same space in your chest when life doesn't turn out the way you hoped it would.
Notes of a Crocodile is a cult classic coming of age story about queer teens in Taipei in the 1980s. It was written in the 90s so please keep that in mind if you choose to read it.
Paradise Rot is about an international student studying in Australia and her growing obsession with her housemate as they share a space that allows no privacy. I've never read anything that feels stickier.
#international lesbian day#book recs#long post#maybe a too long post#but i had the recs so here we are lol#this is how you lose the time war#our wives under the sea#lucky red#camp damascus#to be devoured#chlorine#big swiss#the seep#milk fed#bitterthorn#all the bad apples#gideon the ninth#boulder by eve baltasar#notes of a crocodile#paradise rot#i ran out of tags 😭😭😭#booklr
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May Books
I didn't read as much in May as I did in April, but maybe that was because I tackled a classic novel. Reflections of One Army Nurse in World War II by Gladys Bonine - A short, easy to read memoir of an American Army nurse in England during World War II. The author writes in a way that is easy to connect with and often witty. She was very thorough in her descriptions of medical care and also of her travels and experiences, such as hospital life and contact with English culture. I love engaging memoirs and nursing history, and this one was very enjoyable to me. Crack the Stone by Emily Golus (part of the multi-author series A Classic Retold) - I loved it. It's an epic fantasy retelling of Les Miserables, with a goblin as the escaped convict main character who helps a human child. It's set in Emily Golus's lively portal fantasy world, Vindor. I loved exploring the vivid, unique world further, and the characters and themes were very compelling. I highly recommend this book and the other books in the A Classic Retold series, as well as Emily Golus's other books, beginning with Escape to Vindor. Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell - Currently taking a break from this one, but I made it through one-third of the 600 pages without much trouble. I've dreamed of reading this book for years, since the film miniseries is my favorite and very special to me. My reading brain is finally working again, and reading Wives and Daughters has been a wonderful experience. I'm noticing all sorts of details about the main characters, characterization, witty commentary, themes, and what everyone is thinking and feeling. Magic or Not? by Edward Eager - Funnily enough, I'd never read an Edward Eager book until we did this one for book club in May. I enjoyed it. It definitely reminded me of some of the children's classics I grew up on, only with a brand of whimsical and lively that is unique to this book and author.
#A Classic Retold#AClassicRetold#Crack the Stone#Emily Golus#WWII Nursing#Wives and Daughters#Elizabeth Gaskell#Edward Eager#books#reading#book recs#currently reading
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TRUTH OR DARE?
(𝒯ruth or dare?)⨳ model jake x actress fem. reader, 𝑓eat. danielle﹙nwjs﹚ . . . e2l ✶ you both want each other but won't admit it.
𝒲arnings ▹ drinking, mentions of cheating, jealousy, smoking, teasing, skinship, suggestive, hickeys, angst if you squint, petnames . . . 1.2k
(𝓘s it true you care?)⨳ 𝓛iAS NOTE ﹕I LOVE LEE WONJUNG 😍😍😁😁 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 . . . 𝒯ruth or dare?
An actress was supposed to find herself in the most exquisite parties, expensive bars and luxury brand after shows. Not at some high school reunion party which happened to be a frat party which your ex-boyfriend had happened to be attending. As if you weren’t expecting him to be there, you accepted your friends’ stupid invite, regretting it immediately upon the sight of him.
Sim Jaeyun, the frat boy before, the model now. He hadn’t changed at all. His lips, his eyes, his boyish grin. The only thing that had changed, was the fact that he wasn’t your boyfriend anymore. A cruel summer in Australia happened to be the way he decided to break up with you. After a walk at the beach on a hot evening where the sun seemed to hesitate to set, he suddenly confessed that he was going back, not telling you where he was going, leaving you to find out months after, when his face was all over adverts.
You watched his face as he retold a story about him catching a fish to a woman next to him. The one he once used to tell you so often when you teased him about his inability to catch one. A hand tugging your arm pulled you out of your daze. “Still remember him, I guess.” Danielle, the friend who invited you to the party, remarked as a perfect grin coloured her face. You smiled, pulling her into a quick hug before defending yourself against her thoughts which were clearly written all over her face. “Deny it all you want.” She teased, putting an arm around your shoulder and summoning the attention of the attendants. “Let’s play truth or dare.” She suggested, pulling you down to sit beside her as the rest fell into their places. You watched Jake sit directly in front of you, cursing under your breath as your eyes met momentarily, his gaze averting to the ground. Forcing down a scoff, you watched your friend begin, spinning an empty bottle and asking the person it landed on, ‘Truth or dare?’.
You knew this game very well as it was how the two of you — and Jake, met at a party. It also happened to be the way he confessed, which made it a memory inducing game that you had grown to despise.
“Dare.” Was his bold reply, sparking childish reactions from his acquaintances. The booze was probably getting to their heads, you thought, knowing how common this was at reunions. “I dare you to kiss the person you find most attractive.” Classic Danielle move. What was unexpected was the boy going straight to your friend and placing a wet peck on her lips. He sheepishly walked back to his spot, leaving your friend in disbelief, handing the bottle to someone else.
The game continued like that, a few childish reactions, some kissing and secrets being exposed. It was handed to you after a few turns, resulting in your heartbeat quickening as you stole a glance and Jake. Praying that fate was on your side, you spun the bottle, hoping that it would land on anyone but him.
It spun dangerously slow as the members of the party watched in anticipation, fueled by secrets. You glanced at the woman besides Jake and the boy on his left— which you had now classified as ‘the one who crushes on Danielle’— and prayed it would land on either one of them. The bottle hesitated on the three of them before finally landing on Jake. A fit of unsettled reactions stirred beside you. “Truth or dare?” You asked, forcing your gaze to meet his.
“Dare.” Classic Jake, you thought, before tugging the corners of your mouth into your stage smile. “I dare you to whisper something in the prettiest girl in the room’s ear.” You knew it was childish, but this was your one chance to see how he felt. He bit back a smile, recalling how the question got him to confess before and stood up. He faked moving to girls who were more than willing to hear what he had to say as he finally made his move to you, who was crossing your fingers secretly in hopes that you would simply be ignored. You felt a presence loom over you as he leaned down to your ear, his lips grazing it softly. “Missed me, pretty girl?”
You shot him a look as he pulled back, that familiar boyish grin marking his face. The party came to a standstill as the eager onlookers waited for any sort of action worth reacting for. A smile tugged at the corners of your mouth as you laid your hands on the sides of his head, pulling his face towards you, inching closer to his lips. You barely grazed them before you moved to his ear. “Not at all.” You replied, your smile deepening into a grin as he reciprocated your action noticing the lie seething through your teeth, motioning back to his spot.
“Let’s do seven minutes in heaven as our last game.” Danielle announced, sensing the tension. Complaints about the time distracted you from the misery knocking at your door. You downed more alcohol the more your turn got closer as if it would make it go away. Eventually, the bottle was handed for you to spin as your hopes of getting a random person depleted as you watched the bottle land you with Jake for the second time.
Seven minutes of awkwardness with your ex can’t be that bad, you thought, trying to soothe your running head. Danielle slipped the spare key into your pocket and shot her signature grin before closing the door.
Turning back to your ex, you watched his grin broaden as he stepped forward, decreasing the space between the two of you. Unconsciously, you took a step back, the pattern falling into place as your back finally met the door. His arm rested over your head as the other snaked around your waist. Your breath hitched as he stopped just in front of your lips. “Can I?” After a spiraling train of thoughts, your body acted before your brain could comprehend as you pressed your lips against his. The force of it took him off guard, but he recovered, reclaiming his possession over the kiss. The kiss deepened as his hand moved to your neck, pulling you closer to him. You could hear the party commence, realizing that this entire reunion was another one of Danielle’s schemes to get you and Jake back together. After all, you three had been the best of friends until he broke up with you.
His lips trailed down your jawline and reached your neck, pushing away the fabric on it, leaving kisses all over. His fingers pressed into your pocket, pulling out the key and locking the door behind you. You pulled back, panting heavily from the lack of air. He moved to press a kiss on your neck, unbuttoning the first few buttons as he did so. “You don’t want to?” He murmured into your neck, his soft lips tickling your collarbone as they hovered over it.
“No.” You voiced, falling prey to his mouth which caused you to reveal your real feelings. “Are you sure?” A smirk coated his lips knowing how bad of a liar you were as his gaze burned into yours. “No.” It was an impossible mission to hate him.
PERMANENT TAGLIST : @07sleepykatz @moknu @bunnbam @jlheon @luvlyhee @flwrstqr @sunrenity @jakesprincess1 ( to join, click here ! ) networks : @enhablr @enchive, © EN-GELIC, 2024
#・・✸ en gelic#—🗯 lia writes#enhablr#enchive#enhypen imagines#enhypen fluff#enhypen scenarios#enhypen soft hours#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen drabbles#enhypen reactions#enhypen headcanons#enha#enha fluff#enha x reader#jake x reader#jake fluff#jake imagines#jake sim#enhypen jake#jake enhypen#sim jaeyun#enhypen#enhypen x reader
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i don't wanna break the heart of any other man (but you)
johnny (soap) mactavish x fem!reader, brother's best friend au. cw dub-con
read on ao3 here, originally based off of @ceilidho 's ask here
--
It starts with a ribbon in your hair, neat and pink, ripped out by Johnny’s hand. He laughs in your face, all gummy smile at the age of eight, grinning as you cry and try to get it back.
You are seven-years-old, and you don’t know why your brother hangs out with this bully. Even worse, the inaction. Your perfect big brother, reduced to a faceless bystander.
Lungs catch and then stutter, devastation as you learn and relearn the same lesson until it sticks. A boy can treat you how he wants, as long as he minds his ps and qs about it.
The world around you is defined in the short-term - the sky is blue, your mary-janes have a scuff on them that your mother is worried people are going to notice, and you hate Johnny Mactavish.
He becomes friends with your brother and steals him away from you. Best friends once, you and your brother. Now you've been replaced by some snotty little boy who is constantly yanking on your pigtails. In your own living room, your brother is silent when you run from the room crying.
He's your bully, a twist in your stomach when no one seems to understand this. You sit on the back step, hiccuping tears as you listen to Johnny and your brother have fun in the living room. Only Johnny seems to notice your tears when you come back in and sit, sullen, in the corner. His gaze is a living thing that crawls over you, something alive that shudders like a second skin over yours.
The defining story of your childhood is told like this, after the fact: Johnny keeps picking on you, one day he steals your ribbon and you cry. He keeps the ribbon to this day. Cue the hand on the heart and the coos from the audience. A hit every time, an instant classic.
(One part of the story that is always missed out when this is told and retold again and again is how you actually swing at him. The last time you’re on an even playing field because he unwillingly takes it on the chin.)
Respective parents swoop in, fussing and pulling the two of you apart. Injustice doled out swiftly as Johnny clings to that ribbon, as no one takes it off of him.
“Oh, honey, boys do that when they like you,” your mum coos at you. It's a pathetic attempt to comfort you, leaving you confused more than anything. Here is the sharp reality, your perfect hair undone and mussed. Here is the crack that distorts the image, smoothing over the edges and makes it more palatable.
Johnny catches this, mouth agape as he takes it in. There’s a red mark on his chin from your hand, blue eyes wide and watery.
You wonder if Johnny remembers this. You can see the exact moment that this registers with him, as if he had never considered the ‘why’ of what he was doing to you. And here was the reason, delivered to him from the woman who always gives him an extra cookie when he comes over to play. A click, the universe has righted itself. Something slotting into place according to some higher power. Path set, direction coordinated. Your ribbon clenched in his fist. Meaning applied, after the fact.
It matters to you, you suppose. A politically incorrect statement that alters the start of your life, for all intents and purposes. Here is the centre of it, tattered ribbon and throbbing knuckles, and a lie that is swallowed and turned into truth. Johnny probably doesn’t care. The centre of his entire infatuation does not matter as much as the gulf of the rest of it. Who cares about him snapping your training bra, what matters is the image of his fingers as they wriggle under the strap, the warmth of skin before the snap of plastic. Johnny’s vision of you seems to be half-eclipsed by what he does to you.
It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but Johnny is a lesson that the bitterness is quickly forgotten once the pill hits the bottom of your stomach. Well, then there’s just the acceptance of how things are meant to be, right?
//
What starts off as the play fighting of a rough child in puppy love becomes the earnest approaches of a lovesick teenager. Supposedly.
Before, maybe someone would have eventually stepped in. Maybe there is a finite number of times that a girl can come home crying after having her hair pulled before someone does start to get concerned. Maybe you were a few hundred short when puberty hits and Johnny makes a sharp pivot.
Gone are the shoves, Johnny sticking his foot out to trip you up. Pulling your hair and dashing away, as if unable to stand being near you. His attention is an ugly thing that sits between you. Even he doesn't seem equipped to handle it, breath always coming a little bit too sharp when he steals your teddy, eyes on your reaction even as he tries to dart away.
Now, Johnny is always near. He doesn’t shove anymore, just stands, always too close. You start wearing a training bra and he is a bit too focused about it. Asks you how it feels, gaze hot on your face, like he wants you to say something hot. (You know it doesn’t matter what you say, he’ll likely think that anyway). Petty at the age of 13, you spit into his drink to try and gross him out and he downs it like he had been waiting for it.
Years are not defined by time passing, but rather Johnny and his relationship to you. Years pass with the deterioration of the two of you, scratches in the wall to track the history of how bad everything spirals out of control.
You’re thirteen, and Johnny is pinging your bra strap. He's fourteen, and now he's a few inches taller which he starts using to his advantage, leaning over you when you try to get by him.
You're fourteen, and Johnny is telling you that he jerked off to the thought of you last night before smiling at your mother while you scoff in disgust. He's fifteen, and deciding he wants to start heavy-lifting, wanting to get in shape for you.
You're fifteen, and Johnny is begging you to come swimming with them, hands smoothing over your hips while you try to shove him off. He's sixteen, and he’s holding an enlistment pamphlet and asking how much you would miss him if he went.
You’re sixteen, and Johnny is yanking up your jumper and his breath comes out as a wheeze when he sees the light blue cups that he is convinced match his eyes. He’s seventeen, and trying to get you to drink with him, pupils blown as he tilts the bottle to your mouth and some of it spills over your bottom lip.
You’re seventeen, and Johnny is shoving his hand down the front of your panties, won’t you let him see his favourite girl before he leaves? You don’t know if he’s even really referring to you anymore. He’s eighteen, and he’s almost gone. The weight on your shoulders is heavier, the way it must be before it’s lifted. Almost out, the crack of light in a tomb, mouth watering for it.
He’s trying to be gentle with you, he explains, nights before he leaves. Your nipples are raw under your shirt from where he had yanked your shirt up and ducked down to bite them with a groan. You scowl.
Sitting in your room, your family downstairs. He had asked for a moment with you, for the third time that day and your mother had been charmed. She had been blubbering since she found out that he enlisted, back bowing as you seem to lift higher with each hour that passes.
He needs to make you understand what is going on between the two of you. Needs to make it clear to you before he goes. “We’re meant to be,” he says, patient, even as his hands flex, smoothing over your knees. A creak of bone against muscle, seconds away from wrenching your thighs open and taking what he believes he is owed.
It seems like some kind of stupid honour code. You’re too wriggly. He can have his pound of flesh but he wants the full slab. Maybe he thinks he has to earn it, wants you to spread your legs and let him in.
Fat chance. You tell him as much, delighting for a moment at the way that dopey smile drops off his face. You imagine punching him now, wonder if you could break his nose this time, you think you have enough anger built up to really manage it.
Before you get a chance to really think it over, he grabs you, hands hard on your hips. Yanking your leggings down, and you think that you were wrong, if you didn’t bring over the full cow he was just going to and wrangle that fucker himself.
Minutes later and he’s puffing hot breath into the crook of your neck, the head of his cock between the gusset of your underwear and your pussy. He had gripped your hand and guided it around his dick, up and down. You would stop, but his hand is manacled around your wrist, palm hot against the pulse of your veins. Two layers of skin between your respective flesh, nothing really.
He whines when pre-cum aids the way, huffs a laugh when he nudges against your clit and you tremble. Barely any slick between your folds but he hones in on it like he does with everything to do with you. Dips the head of his cock further down to catch it, forehead thumping against your shoulder to watch as his cock shines with the slightest bit of your juices.
Here is the body’s natural reaction to stimulation. And here is Johnny taking the explanation that he has been waiting for.
“A knew it,” he mutters, feverish as his hips stutter, your hand tightening for a second as he nudges against your clit again. “Knew you were wantin’ it, lovey. But you had tae act like a right cow, eh?” He chuckles, dark before he yanks your chin up (you had been staring as well, you realise with a flush of shame), slants his mouth over yours.
He’s still angry, thumb digging into the soft flesh beneath your skin as he drags his tongue over yours, sucking it into his mouth until you hiccup.
He’s big like this, eighteen, and the puppy fat had shrank off years ago. Shoulders hunches to reach you, hand cradling your jaw in place, almost ear to ear.
He pulls back and you loll forward, pressure that had been holding you in place suddenly gone. You reel with it, almost falling forward before he nudges you back again. He huffs, a mean thing into your temple, hand sliding to the back of your neck. “Ye wantin’ it?” he asks. You wonder if he actually wants an answer, know that he already has his confirmation between your thighs.
His hand squeezes your wrist, and you clumsily twist your palm when you reach the top of his shaft, morbidly curious. He told you how he liked to jerk off two New Years ago, did it how he thought you would do it for him. Prophesied.
His shoulders shake, moaning wantonly as if you aren’t in your bedroom with your parents watching TV just downstairs. “Fuck,” he hisses, eyes on how your hand barely covers half of his cock as you stroke him. His hand thumps into the wall beside your shoulder, other hand flexing with his thumb on your wrist bone.
“Ah, fuck, dae that again,” he huffs until you do, again and again until he whines, head back into the crook of your neck as he drools into the collar of your shirt.
Both his hands are on your arse now, squeezing and kneading as he humps like a misbehaved dog into your hand. “I know you didnae mean it,” he mutters, pulling the spit soaked collar of your shirt down to kiss and lick and bite your collarbone. “You were jus’ missin’ me already, eh? A know, lovey, a know, there we are, just havtae show you the way sometimes, my poor wee angel, a forgive ye, a dae, a swear.”
He grips the backs of your thighs and squeezes when he comes, pushing until the head of his cocks kicks up near the entrance of your cunt, whining and shuddering through it. He pants as he comes back down, cock jerking idly in your now loose grasp, red hot against where you are now wet. Probably, mostly with Johnny’s cum.
He gives a heaving sigh, pushes his palms against the wall to look down at you. He likes what he sees - spit slick mouth, red neck, bare pussy with his cum staining you and your underwear.
“A willnae be gone long,” he says, as if you had been mid conversation. “A will come back f’ you, angel,” he promises, gaze hot on the crux of your legs.
You stare up at him, hand still loose around his shaft before you let go. A curdled desire settles in your stomach. Always for Johnny, and always half ruined at inception because it’s for Johnny.
Hours later and he’s gone. You sit at the breakfast table, your mother fussing in her upset about him being gone. Your brother is quiet as always, gives you a strange look. Johnny’s cum is dried out in your favourite pair of panties upstairs. You bite into a piece of toast, feel each crumb as it digs into your gums and dirties you.
//
It gets worse again after he officially enlists in the army. Before Johnny is the cute teenager that trails after your every move, intent and so so sweet.
Now he is Johnny, the childhood sweetheart. Before both of your parents had viewed you as scorning a poor lovesick puppy. Now you are a couple, constantly bickering about something or other. You insist that he is not your boyfriend, and are met with rolled eyes and knowing looks.
Johnny’s mother confesses that half of his calls to her are asking for you. You briefly consider moving to another country.
He sends pictures of his cock while he is away, the head red and you hate that you know how hot it would be to the touch. You reply and tell him to cut it off and he tells you that you’re the one.
Your mum doesn’t understand when you complain so heavily about him. Every complaint is met with a rebuttal, as if Johnny’s hand is at the back of everyone’s throat, puppeting everything that they say.
He’s too touchy. Because he loves you sweetheart, my god, I wish someone would want me that much.
He’s too close. God forbid someone enjoy your company.
Don’t you think he’s a little bit strange? He’s in the army, you dick, don’t you think you could be just a little bit nicer about it?
You feel half insane, the only one protesting the way that he treats you, the way he has always treated you. The capacity for cruelty has just shifted. Johnny has always worked within the parameters that were available to him. Sure, he can’t get away with yanking on your pigtails anymore, but biting a bit too hard at your neck has the same result. Tears in your eyes, and everyone tells you that this is how Johnny shows you he likes you.
After his first deployment, he gets so close to fucking you that you get spooked. Eighteen now, and suddenly ten years younger, Johnny taking something that doesn’t belong to him. You let him fuck up the length of your cunt, let him lick his cum off of you. He keeps his head between your thighs, eats you out like a man starved until you shake, tears in the corners of your eyes. Shame again, at how sloppy he is, spit and slick and cum everywhere. He likes it, likes how shameful you get about it. Laps that up too, tongue buried in you like he wants to get to the back of your throat. He always wants more of you than you think you have to begin with.
He lies back, barely sated but will at least lie still now and pulls you over to drape over his chest. He’s getting bigger, you think. Maybe he’s taking parts of you, squirreling them away in himself, until you don’t know you unless you find it in him.
You curve one hand over his barrel chest, barely any give in the muscle. He hums, a booming noise beneath your ear. “Tha’s all it took,” he murmurs, hand smoothing over your head like you’re a cat. “A bit ae missin’ me and yer as sweet as a kitten.”
You’re too tired to give a snarky response, though you briefly wonder if you can get away with pinching his side a bit too hard in retribution.
You know he’s going to be even more pent up the next time he gets back, that he’s going to think he’s owed your virginity. You refuse to give him another reason to tie the two of you together indefinitely. You think he’ll propose if he does, he has already been messaging you about it, asking when the two of you were finally going to walk down that aisle that he’s been building around you for years.
You go to a pub the next time he leaves, ignore his messages to call because he misses you so much. Sit at the counter until some sleazy guy who looks double your age saunters up and offers to buy you a drink. You shouldn’t, it is so dangerous. You barely have to cut your eyes towards him before he’s taking this as forwardness. Offers to take you home and immediately starts pawing at you in his truck.
You let him bend you over, the clink of a belt and its all over. You rock with each thrust, hating yourself for catching sight of the man’s hand on yours and knowing that Johnny’s is bigger.
You bring a hand down to rub along your clit, but the first whine that leaves your mouth brings the entire show to a close and you stand up, furious. The man wheezes in the seat as you barely say goodbye, wrenching your panties up and storming home.
Johnny’s been calling you, must be on whatever type of break he gets wherever he is, and you answer after the third missed call. Low timber floods your ear and warms your bones.
He’s so excited he caught you, been missing you so much, baby. Thinking about you all the time, he got in trouble for not being able to focus. Asks if you’ve been taking care of his pretty girl for him?
You let him yap in your ear the whole way home, wanting desperately for your vibrator. “You missin’ me too, baby?” Johnny huffs in your ear. You hum, absentmindedly in response. He’s on it, scenting blood.”Aye? Tell me, how much, eh? You been petting yourself thinking of me?”
You’re home, Johnny still trying to goad you on over the phone, the connection is bad but he seems to overcome it. Hulking, even over a wire to get to you. Maybe you could get him to talk through getting yourself off. It’s disgusting, but maybe you could give yourself a pass this one time. He’s allowed to do whatever he wants, where are your allowances? Johnny gets to hop back and forth over the line of propriety, you’re allowed one slip up before you return to your factory settings.
Your vibrator, hidden in the back of your bedside table, gone. You know it was him, know he binned it. Know he probably didn’t want anything getting you off except him.
You stare at the empty space in the back of your drawer, cold water down your spine that douses any flames of arousal you think you have ever felt and maybe will ever feel again. Anger is back, and so beautifully familiar. Johnny is still droning on, something about letting him see a picture of how much you’re missing him.
“I fucked someone else,” you say, voice gritty.
The line goes quiet. Small buzzes that make up the distance between the two of you, the call dropping and reconnecting. Universe bringing you back together again.
“That’s not fucking funny,” Johnny says, voice low in a way that you don’t think that you’ve heard before.
“Good thing I’m not joking,” you snap back. You feel frightened, eyes darting to the window as if he is about to start running in your direction, all the way across the globe. You wouldn’t put it past him. But never let it be said that you wouldn’t put your hand to the snapping teeth of a rabid dog.
He’s silent, breath heaving before the line goes dead.
You drop your phone to the floor and stand in the quiet of your room. A bird chirps in the distance, life reinstating itself even in the absence of Johnny. You crawl into bed and refuse to get off tonight. A competition where you are the only participant and the only loser too. Fitting.
//
You don’t see Johnny for months after that. Which makes sense, because he is across the globe. But the silence feels eerie, the way you imagine it might be for him. The thunder of a gun and the shutter after. Silence ringing, not due to quiet but because of the absence of sound.
He doesn’t message you at all during this period. Clearly he says something to his mother, because she gives you a frown at church that Sunday. “You must’ve done something,” your mum hisses at you, embarrassed that the story of childhood sweethearts that she gave birth to has become a story of a surly woman who cannot appreciate the man who loves her as he risks his life for his country.
You don’t bother replying. There’s no point, really. Everything has been set in motion and everyone had climbed on board. You were the one that derailed the track and upset everything.
You refuse to admit that you miss Johnny. That your phone buzzes and there is a moment where you think it could be him. For months, it isn’t. You feel like you’re floating out in orbit and your lifeline has gone silent on you. Drifting, the cold slowly creeping in, nothing around to propel yourself off of. Gain some momentum, do something.
You sit and wait for Johnny’s judgement day.
He gets back on a Friday, and he doesn’t come to see you. You know he’s back, because you can hear your brother on the phone to him, asking if he got back alright. You skulk around the corner, waiting for any mention of your name. If there is any, you don’t hear it.
You sit in your room, uncertain. The thing that you hadn’t considered is that while you had been complaining about how you and Johnny had been set up in the direction that you were going in, you hadn’t thought about what you would do if you weren’t doing this. You have derailed the train now, but you don’t remember when you got on, or how to get back there.
You mull this over, legs tucked to the side as you lean into the large bear on your bed. Won for you, by Johnny of course, at some fair when you were kids. Maybe you could leave. Nothing as drastic as another country, but another town maybe, escape the suffocation that comes with being here and everyone knowing you as Johnny’s girl.
Daydreaming, imagining yourself in a place where no one knows who you are, you are startled out of your thoughts when your window slams open. Soap hoists himself up and into your room, with an ease you imagine he must not have had before.
You blink at him as he stands next to your open window, gaze hot on you without saying a word. You shuffle a little, uncertain, refusing to speak first. You feel bizarrely guilty, as if you have done something wrong. Even though you know you haven’t. Just because a man decides he is owed your virginity, doesn’t mean you’re in the wrong for not giving it to him.
Still, you swallow an apology on the back of your tongue and it tastes like ash.
Johnny quietly reaches over and slams your window shut, making you jump.
“Y’know, a went around town and tried to figure out who ye cheated on me wae,” he says, at last, face darker than you have ever seen it. His hair is slightly grown out along the sides, mohawk less stark like this. Hair like he had when he was ten, almost.
“I didn’t cheat on you -” You try to interject, remembering your indignation more than anything.
Johnny lunges for you, hand hot around your ankle as he yanks you down the bed. “Who fuckin’ was it, huh? Y’ know, ave been tryin’ so hard wae you, thinkin’ that you’ve been missin’ me just as much as a have you, but instead you’ve been tryin’ tae hurt me, whorin yourself fae anyone -”
You reel your arm back to punch him in the face, and he catches your wrist just before you can make contact with his jaw. “I didn’t fucking whore myself out, I’m sorry that you’re fucking delusional -”
A hand in the length of your hair and he wrenches your head back, slamming his mouth against yours. It’s sore, all teeth as you both hiss and spit at each other. It feels like an even playing field again, even though you feel swallowed up in his bulk. His hand leaves your hair and grips you everywhere he can, like everything belongs to him already.
You feel white hot, letting him lick across the back of your teeth like he doesn’t want any part of you untouched by him. You hold onto his shoulders, letting him pull you all over, leans back and hooks a finger over your jaw. Pulls your mouth open. You realise what he’s going to do a moment before he does it, spit landing on your tongue. Instinctive to swallow it.
He moans wantonly at the sight, a sound that flushes you in embarrassment. For god’s sake, you’re in your mother’s house. He’s licking into your mouth, spit everywhere and making you feel sticky.
His hand slides between your thighs and you feel the moment that he finds out how wet you are, his hips stuttering a quick grind against your hip. “Jus’ for me, huh?” he asks, feverishly hot. He pulls back as he yanks your shorts off, panties dragged along with. Groans at the sight of you, wet and swollen between your legs. “Eh? Is this what ye did wae that fuckin’ boy?”
Your thighs shake, hands trying to catch his wrist as he slides two fingers into you, thumb mean against your clit. “What?” you croak, blinking up at him.
“Whatever loser you took home with you,” Johnny asks, hawk-like focus on your face. Strange for him, when your pussy is on show. “You take him back here and did ye let him dae this tae y’? Ye think aboot me when he brought his small dick oot?”
You don’t respond and he pinches your clit until you squeak, trying to buck away from him.
“I’m sorry, angel,” he coos suddenly, eyes no longer on your face but between your legs. “My pretty girl, you just need someone to show you, right?”
He fingers you, thumb intent on your clit until you start to shake, voice getting higher, Then he stops, fingers slipping out of you (when did it become three?), with a wet noise that if you were more in your mind, you would flush about.
You start to whine, and he flips you over onto your front, hikes your ass in the air and coos of the sight of your cunt throbbing at the injustice of it all. “A know, angel, A know. A want to give ye what yer wantin, but a don’t know if you deserve it,” he hums. Fucking liar, if the clink of his belt is anything to go by, then the hot stroke of his cock between your sticky folds that has you arching your back like a cat in heat. He’s trying to be teasing, but his voice shakes, restraint held together by a thin chain and he is a big man.
He holds you still with a hand on your hip, the heat of it sinking into your skin. You can hear him beating off, using your slick to aide the way as he stares at your holes. You feel like you want to cry, sitting on display for him to get off on. You do, but it also makes you feel piping hot all over. There’s a sickness in him and he’s been dosing you up on it for years. Viral disease, his spit in your mouth until it clogs the back of your throat and finally takes root in your bloodstream.
“Was thinking about this so much,” he murmurs, as if caught up in a dream. “Wanted tae be the one to make y’ a woman - “
“It was bad,” you manage, throat dry, gaze on the opposite wall. The slick noise behind you stops and you can only hear the sound of his breathing. His scrutiny of you on the back of your skull pulling you down. You don’t know why you’re saying this. There is a cliff edge and you want to say you stepped off of it with your next words, but you’re already freefalling, and you’re hoping for the crash into him rather than the cold dirt. “I didn’t know him, I didn’t get off, and I thought about you and how good that you would have made me - “
Half a sentence in and he sinks in, cock splitting you open. He groans, loud and shameful as you whine, thigh kicking until he stills it, pushing down to get further into you, It may as well have been your first time, it takes a few shallow thrusts and Johnny reaching down to rub at your clit to ease the way before he manages to get balls deep into you.
“Oh fuck,” you wheeze, full. At capacity. You can’t think beyond the stretch of yourself around Johnny, air knocked out as he pushes more weight onto you.
“Fuck, this fuckin’ cunt,” he groans. Hands smooth over your arse, spreading your cheeks to better view what he’s doing to you. “Knew ye would be so good, dreamed ae this - ah - you just wanted tae deny yerself. Don’t worry, angel, I’ll give ye what ye need.”
Then it starts, the pulling out just bottom out again, fast and hard and any air you manage to suck in is immediately shot out.
Your head lolls to the side, you think you might be drooling onto your sheets, but can barely find it in you to care. His balls slap against your swollen clit, so loud and yet you cannot remember why you should care about that beyond getting him to keep doing that. You realise that your muttering please, over and over again, not even aware of it.
He shifts to the side, and suddenly his thrusts are deliberate, and you tense up even more. No pause, no grinding out, you come and he keeps going, grunts as you tighten up and spasm, sobbing into your sheets.
It’s like a point is being hammered into you. You suspect if you hadn’t admitted that you didn’t come with the other guy, then Johnny wouldn’t have given a shit. But this is purposeful, a lesson being taught until only the whites of your eyes are showing. It always did so many times for you to take a telling, Johnny coos in your ear. Thank god he’s here, he’s got you.
He comes with a groan, mouth hot against the back of your neck as he mouths at your nape, teeth a little bit too sharp for your liking. Damning, feeling his cum in you. No part of you, untouched.
//
You want to say it gets worse from this point again. You think that it has actually just always been the same level of awful, the scale has just broadened.
Johnny tells everyone that you’re engaged after you let him cum in you again. There’s not even an engagement ring. Spitting in anger at your future being decided for you again, Johnny interprets this as you being upset he didn’t take you ring shopping. Drags you to the bathroom and fucks you on the sink with your ankles over his shoulders.
It’s relentless. There is a hairline fracture along the tender tissue of your brain and Johnny has pried it open to fit himself, crawled in and made himself at home.
He tells you that you were made for him. That he had came first, that he had wished for you and you were delivered to him. Guides your hand to his ribcage, tells you there is one missing. “Would give that an’ mare,” he vows, hands swallowing up the arch of your torso, a perfect ring made with the circle of his hands.
He’ll probably marry you the next time he���s back. He can barely be held back from it just now, that leash he places in your hand even if he yanks so hard that the control is all just for show. Just another link between the two of you, his neck yanked back to you up at you.
He sleeps in your childhood bed, muscular arm a band around your waist. There’s a version of you in the corner. She’s still weeping and now only you know. A tear against Johnny’s shoulder and he shuffles closer, tucking you under his chin. “Ave got ye, angel,” he slurs, half-asleep.
You feel restricted, unable to move. And it soothes you to sleep.
//
(Johnny begs you to suck him off just before he leaves for his next deployment. His come tastes bitter as you swallow. Go figure.)
#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny soap mctavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish#cod x reader#nic writes#johnny mactavish#cw dub con#definitely could have been more catholic. an improvement for next time haah#let me know ur thoughts !
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got any roach-centric fic recs? like idc the pairing, ghostroach/soaproach/ghostsoaporach any thats roach focused plzz
*cracks knuckles* I GOTCHU ANON this is my time to shine
If anyone wants to reply with their own pls do!
(These are in no particular order)
GhostRoach:
i left my heart in the mountains (right next to yours)
I'm going to want you 'til the stars evaporate
and here i stand (in the dirt with you)
These are all by Santihan and ugghh these were the fics that pulled me back from my near decade-long ghostroach obsession sabbatical. Well-written, emotional, they are amazing, my favs, I will rec these til I die (the first two are painful :'))
Things That Burn by abel_obel
Such a good one, I always go back to this when I'm in a ghostroach mood. Good ol' classic person A gets injured and person B freaks out
Roach Wouldn't Really Do It...
Exhaustion's a Funny Thing
Both by tinyduckies! Def read the TWs for the first one, but arghhh, I go back to these ones a lot!. I really like how the first one's more realistic/gritty when it comes to the aftermath of surviving Loose Ends
Second one's just a lovely depiction of Ghost and Roach's dynamic. Loved the banter and the second chapter ends real sweetly :)
The Barracks: Part 2
Ulterior Motives
Both by doberman, these two are much longer fics (which ghostroach is in desperate need of) and are such interesting reads!!
The first one is an AU that takes place in a pub with Ghost being his repressed, unhealthy self, and Roach coming in as the new co-worker to sweep him off his feet lol
The second one is ongoing and takes place slightly after MWII with Ghost meeting Roach outside of deployment
Sovereign by Applescone
God, this one really puts me in an introspective mood. It's so well-written and just feels so grounded and human. Takes place years after Loose Ends, with Ghost and Roach rekindling their relationship whilst dealing with the complications of Shepherd's betrayal and death
我给你早在你出生前多年的一个傍晚看到的一朵黄玫瑰的记忆 by Alex_Upshur
Ok I know this is in Chinese, but just use a translator like I did and yeah, while it won't be as accurate as the author wrote it, it's still a really lovely fic and i adore it :') A lil bittersweet look into the 141's lives and sweet moments with Ghost and Roach <3
Of Doubts and Dreams (Retold)
The Hook Up
All written by Call_Of_Booty, an og ghostroach author from wayyy back during the og trilogy (and ff.net) days. The first one's a rewrite of one of their old fics and it focuses on Roach and Ghost's dynamic up until the night before Loose Ends.
Second one's about Roach deciding to leave the SAS whilst he and Ghost have complicated feelings for eachother due to past hookups. Both great reads!
Distance Makes the Heart Pissed Off by krwaken
I'm sure every GhostRoach shipper knows this one lol. A lovely 200k word slowburn of these two <3
Fear & Delight by EpiKatt
Hornet's Nest with more GhostRoach :))
Tell Me Why This Has to End by Feral_Raccoon
ANGST :( Post-Loose Ends. Ending broke me haha
and you wrote your name / right there next to mine by cheese_n_crack
more Loose Ends angst :( A bittersweet ending with Ghost and Roach looking at the stars in their final moments
You'll Get Sick Anyways by ghostslefttit
Very short, but very cute lil fic with Ghost taking care of a sick Roach :))
If We Crash (I Hope We Do) by mintyiecat
Man I can't even begin to describe how much I love this one. Portrays Ghost and Roach's relationship post-loose ends where Roach is now a civilian. Loved how the author depicted their relationship as not flawless. Felt very human and raw. Very sweet ending :)
GhostSoapRoach
Something in the Orange by fixfoxnox
Y'all been knew this would be on here lol
Follows Roach's pov where he's been reincarnated into the reboot timeline with all his memories from his old life and him trying to make his way back to Ghost. This one makes me sad as hell. Has all the feels :')
Something in the Orange by insomniamemoirs & RandomWordsAndStormyDays
Funny how my top two GSR fics are named the same thing, but hey, they're both amazing. I was apprehensive because of the "calling Soap Roach by accident" trope, however they really diverted my expectations and made these three really feel like equals in a relationship. Really love how they made sure to establish a strong dynamic between Soap and Roach instead of pitting them against each other. And Roach isn't just some 2D character here, he's very nuanced and I love it!
Freezing Waters by AmphibianEft
Sweet fic of Roach getting injured and Soap and Ghost freaking out and taking care of him
Stress Relief by Anonymous
Just Soap and Ghost taking care of Roach after Hornet's Nest (smut) :)
SoapRoach
Leg Day by tinyduckies
Good ol' smut lol (09 soaproach mm)
Everything That Isn't Said by pajamabees
More 09 smut
Taste by fixfoxnox
Just 3.5k words of Roach wanting to kiss his captain :)
fall for me by punishervest
Just a sweet moment between 09 Soap and Roach with Soap reminiscing on his past with Price but also considering how he wants something more with Roach <3
She (Means Everything To Me) by mylareading
Just 1.9k words of Soap being down bad for Roach (super sweet)
Roanig (Roach x Konig)
I Really Like The Way You Stare At Me by turqu0ise
The fic that introduced me to roanig <3 Just a cute fic focusing on the development of their relationship
Subatomic by tinyduckies
Another nice fic focused on the development of their relationship. Loved the interactions they had in this :)
These are the ones I have so far! I'm sure later on I can add to the list, and if anyone wants to reply with their own feel free :)
I've also been made aware there are Keegan/Roach fics, but I haven't gotten around to reading them yet, but def check out their tag anon! Hope this was an adequate rec list haha
#u can tell from this list that i have an unhealthy ghostroach fixation#tried to find every author's tumblrs so mb if i missed some :')#i wish i had more of soapghostroach but its kinda hard navigating their tag since a lot of it isnt tagged correctly#gary roach sanderson#ghostroach#soapghostroach#soaproach#roanig#roachghost#ghostsoaproach#roachsoap#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#konig#call of duty#cod#mw2#modern warfare 2#there def needs to be more roach centric fics#fic rec#box of asks#box of posts
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Top 5 tam lin
YEah ok i totally didn't open this and then forget about it. These aren't ranked but they are true
Medieaval Baebes Tam Lin. I particularly like the nature sounds in the background. Creepy. Wet.
The Forgetmenauts Tam Lin. This one is a really cool modernization, and it's interesting to have it sung by a man (for these five minutes at least he is gay). Goes more into the prior relationship between the narrator and Tam Lin.
The Biscuits Tam Lin. Lo-fi punk, traditional Child 39a lyrics. Two tastes that taste great together. Wild. Crunchy.
Alistair Hulett's Tam Lin. This is how it's supposed to sound. sorry to haters who do not have ten minutes to shut up and hear a story.
Anais Mitchell's Tam Lin (Child 39). A classic. This is the version where I first worked out that Janet is a badass. Mesmerizing. Dry.
Honorable mention to best interpretation: The Imagined Village's Tam Lyn Retold. This fucking rules idk what to tell you
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Once Upon a Time - A Choso x Reader Fanfic Part 1
Retold fairytales featuring the JJK men! This is Rapunzel featuring Choso! While gathering herbs in the forest, you stumble into the garden of a strange man living in an abandoned watch tower. He talks often about his three little brothers, but you’re beginning to suspect they’re no longer there.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Read Sukuna x Sleeping Beauty Here!
Read Gojo x Cinderella Here!
Smut. 18+. Fem Reader. Reader as Rapunzel. Reader has long hair (she kinda has to for this story) but no other distinguishing physical characteristics. Choso as a classic Yandere. Possessive behavior. Toxic love. Manipulation. Reader is locked up. Mentions of characters dying before the story began. Bondage (not used in a sexual context… yet).
Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more and @benkeibear!
You bend down to pick some of the herbs you just found, carefully placing them in your basket. These will be perfect for several different medicines you make for the other villagers. You can’t believe what a treasure trove you’ve found. How have you never seen this place before?
The basket is feeling heavy on your arm by the time you finish, but you’re so happy with what you’ve gathered that you don’t mind the extra weight. You pick one last handful and turn to head back through the woods and to the village.
That’s when you see him. A pale man dressed in black, dark hair pulled into strange ponytails on each side of his head. He’s standing directly in your path.
“Why are you in my garden?” he asks. His tone is curious, not accusatory.
You freeze in place. This is a garden? And it belongs to him? You dip your head in a slight bow. “I’m very sorry, sir. I didn’t realize this was your garden. I picked a lot of your herbs,” you say, holding out your basket. “Would you like to keep them?”
He stares into your basket, then at your face. “What do you want herbs for?”
“I make medicines,” you tell him. “Tonics, ointments, all sorts of things.”
He’s silent for a moment, then asks, “Could you make some for me?”
“Of course,” you say, happy that he’s apparently going to let your accidental theft slide. “What kinds do you need?”
“Something for scrapes and cuts. I have three little brothers and they’re always getting hurt while playing in the woods.”
You smile. “Alright. I’ll make some and bring them back to you, as a thank you for the herbs.” You glance around the forest. “Where is your house?”
He hesitates for a few seconds, as if reluctant to reveal where he lives. You’re just about to offer to meet him here in a few days when he turns and begins walking through the woods. “Follow me. I’ll show you.”
You tag along behind him, waiting for a house to come into view. You really didn’t know anyone lived out here. But instead of a house, he leads you to a clearing with an enormous tower standing in the middle of it.
“You live here?” you ask, using your hand to block the sun as you squint upwards, trying to see how high it goes.
It’s made of stone, gray in color except for a deep red door and matching red shudders all the way up at the top. A window? But why so high? The grass around the tower is thick and unkempt, wild rose bushes climbing the sides, going at least thirty feet up. Red and white roses are blooming beautifully, making the tower look like something from a dream.
When you step closer, you notice there are black roses blooming here and there. What an unusual color!
The man opens the red door, made of heavy wood, and motions for you to come inside.
You follow in behind him, finding a living area with chairs, a fireplace, a rug, and a desk. Off to the side is a cozy little kitchen with a stove and a small table with four chairs crowded around it.
“Do you live here by yourself?” you ask, looking around.
He looks at you with a slightly confused expression. “No, I have three little brothers, remember?”
“Oh, that’s right! I’m sorry, I forgot.”
But the tower doesn’t look like three kids live in it. Things are too neat and orderly, and there’s only one place setting on the table. Maybe they’re just very well behaved.
He notices you glancing around and says, “They’re out gathering wood for the fire right now. They’ll be home soon.”
You nod, then look straight up. “What’s up there?”
He follows your line of sight, tilting his head up. “A couple of bedrooms shared between us,” he answers. “This used to be a watch tower during the war. My brothers and I found it abandoned a few years ago and moved in.”
“That was fortunate,” you say. “I bet they love playing in this tower.”
He smiles, the expression lighting up the room. He has a really nice smile. “Yes, they love it here.”
You smile back, then start toward the door. “I’ll make some medicines for you and come back in three days. Is that alright?”
“Yes, that would be wonderful. Thank you.”
As you step outside, you turn back to wave goodbye to him. He waves back, and you leave. Walking back through the woods, you half expect to run into his little brothers, laughing and playing. But you never see another soul until you reach the village.
In the comfort of your own home, you remove your bonnet and let the long ponytail slip down your back and hit the floor. Even with the ends looped around and tied at the top, your hair brushes the wooden floorboards as you move around the room, assembling your tools. Pans, bowls, a kettle of water set to boil, stone cups and mortars.
As you begin your work, you realize you never asked the man for his name.
Three days later, when you return to the tower, the man meets you at the door with a smile. He really does look so kind when he smiles. You wish he would do it more often.
“I brought the medicines, uh… sir,” you say, holding up a leather bag.
“Choso,” he says. “My name is Choso. And you?”
Feeling just a bit shy, you avert your eyes as you tell him your name. You’re not sure why you didn’t realize it last time, but he’s very handsome. Even the faint dark circles under his eyes can’t diminish his lovely face.
“Come in, please,” he tells you, opening the door wider and stepping to the side to give you room.
Once inside, you go to the kitchen and begin pulling the glass bottles of medicine from your bag and sitting them on the table. Choso walks over and listens intently as you explain their uses.
“This one is great for scrapes and minor burns or cuts. Wash the wounded area first with warm water, then apply the salve. Bandage if necessary. This one here helps with a cough. Give them one spoonful before bed. Oh, and this one relieves itching from bug bites or rashes they might get from plants while playing.”
You pick one bottle with a purple colored liquid inside. “This will help them sleep, but it’s strong. Only a few drops into some water or milk, okay? Otherwise they’ll be knocked out all day.”
Choso looks at you warmly as you finish explaining them. Then thanks you again. “These will be a big help. My little brothers can be unruly at times.”
You look around the room. “Are they out today?”
Choso nods. “They went to fish in the stream nearby. They should be home later.”
“That’s a pity. I’d like to meet them someday,” you say.
As you start to head for the door again, Choso places a hand lightly on your shoulder. “Wait. Would you like to join me for dinner? My brothers will be late, so I’ll just give them leftovers.”
Your eyes shift to the stove, where iron pots and pans are sizzling and steaming. You realize then that you can smell food cooking, and it smells delicious. There’s definitely some sort of bread baking, and you’re fairly certain an onion has been sautéed. They’re warm, comforting scents. They remind you of when your parents were alive.
“Are you sure you’ll have enough?” you ask.
“There’s plenty,” he replies, gently ushering you to the little round table and pulling out one of the chairs. “My brothers don’t eat much. You know how kids can be picky eaters.”
You sit down in the offered chair. “Alright then. Thank you.”
“Oh, thank you,” Choso says, filling a plate for you. “I haven’t had company for dinner in a long time.” He pauses, seems to think of something, then adds, “I mean I haven’t had a guest for dinner in a long time.”
You look at the plate filled with piping hot food that he sits in front of you. “This all looks incredible!”
Choso fixes a plate for himself and sits down next to you at the table. “I hope you enjoy it,” he says before beginning to eat.
Everything you try is divine, from the freshly baked bread to the fried potatoes with onions to the seared pork loin. You wonder how his brothers could possibly be too picky to enjoy this, but you suppose there’s no accounting for kids’ taste.
After finishing your meal, you stay for a little while to chat with Choso. He’s not overly talkative, but he’s friendly enough, and seems to genuinely enjoy your company. He asks you questions about your medicine making, the village you live in, and eventually reaches the topic of family.
“My parents died when I was sixteen,” you tell him, “and I have no siblings. My only relatives live so far away that I never see them, so it’s just me.”
His expression softens. “Don’t you get lonely?”
You place your elbow on the table and lean your face onto your hand. With your other hand, your fingers trace over a name childishly carved into the wood. “Yuji”. It must be the name of one of his brothers. You can imagine a little boy doing that, and Choso gently chastising him for it.
“Sometimes I do,” you answer. “Sometimes I miss having someone to tell my problems to, or something fun or interesting will happen and I’ll want to go home and tell my parents, but there’s no one there. Most of the time I’m fine, but sometimes at night the house is so quiet, all I can hear is my own breathing, and it feels…” You stop and look at Choso. His eyes have a strange intensity to them as he stares at you.
“I’m sorry,” you say, feeling embarrassed, “I shouldn’t have rambled on like that. You have your brothers, so it must be hard for you to imagine what I’m talking about.”
All at once his expression returns to its normal warm and kind one. “Ah, you’re right. I’m sorry for asking something so personal.”
“It’s fine,” you tell him. “I’m an open book. Ask whatever you want.”
“Really? In that case, why do you keep your hair so long?” he asks.
You took your bonnet off to eat dinner, and it would be strange if he hadn’t noticed how long your ponytail is. You reflexively reach up to touch where it’s looped and tied at the back of your head. When loose, your hair drags far behind you.
“My parents come from a very isolated clan, where a person’s hair is considered their spirit. Hair is sacred to us, so I’ve never cut it since I was born.”
His eyes seem to follow your hair from your head down to the floor. “It’s very beautiful,” he says. “I’d love to see it let down.”
You blush at that remark. He couldn’t know it, but in your parents’ clan, only your spouse is allowed to see you with your hair completely loose. Though your parents left the clan, they raised you to respect many of their customs.
“Maybe someday,” you say with a faint smile. “Letting my hair down is a very… intimate thing.”
Choso’s pale face turns slightly pink. “Oh, I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay, you didn’t know. The clan was a bit strange.”
You leave later that evening, still seeing no signs of his brothers.
Over the next few weeks, you visit Choso often. He lets you raid his herb garden in exchange for making medicines for him, and you always stay a couple of hours to have dinner with him and talk.
Choso is still a little quiet, but he’s an excellent listener, always seeming engaged with whatever you talk about. The only topic that makes him chatty is his brothers. He loves telling you stories about their mischief. He clearly loves all three of them, but he seems to have a soft spot for the youngest, Yuji.
But the more time you spend with Choso, the more you talk to him, the more you start to suspect something terrible.
Maybe his brothers are gone.
You’re not sure if a relative might have taken them in, or if they simply ran away to one of the nearby villages, or… if they’re dead. But you’re starting to believe they don’t live at the tower with Choso anymore. You’ve never seen them even once, despite visiting at different hours on different days. Choso always has plenty of food to share, and you’ve never seen any evidence of them still being there.
You can’t ask Choso about it. Whatever the truth may be, it’s obvious that Choso doesn’t want to deal with it. He’d rather live the lie that they’re still with him than face the truth, and it’s not your place to try to change that.
So you go along with it. You don’t act suspicious when he says they’re out playing in the woods. You don’t ask any questions about what they’ve been doing lately. It’s none of your business anyway, though it does make you sad.
One night you end up staying at the tower a little later than usual, wrapped up in a conversation with Choso. When you head home, it’s dark out, and the woods seem a little creepier.
You start to walk the familiar path to your village, but you hear a wolf howl in the distance. Another wolf howls, then another. It sounds like there’s a pack on the path you need to be on. Deciding to take the long way around, you step onto a different path, one that would take around the other side of the tower.
On your way, you spot a small clearing. The full moon shines down through the trees, illuminating three identical objects. Stepping closer, you realize what they are. Small cross shaped grave markers. There are no names on them, but the fact that there are three sends a chill down your spine. Three graves for three little brothers?
You can’t be sure, so you choose to ignore them for now. You’ve already decided to go along with Choso’s sad lie, so what’s the point of saying anything now?
Continuing on the path, you hear wolves howling again. Are they on this path as well, or did they catch your scent and follow you?
The air is unseasonably chilly, feeling like winter despite being early autumn. The trees are still full of leaves, and during the day their foliage creates a rainbow of lovely colors: golden yellows, burnt oranges, lush reds. But tonight, they just look dark brown.
You wrap your thin cloak a little tighter around yourself and hurry along, hoping the wolves are farther away than they sound. Your footsteps are nearly silent on the soft forest floor. It rained yesterday, so the ground is still slightly damp, and the woods still have that earthy smell that always follows the rain.
A howl again, stopping you in your tracks. Should you run? Or go back to the tower? You’re not sure which option is safer, especially in the dark. It’s hard to judge exactly where you are on this unfamiliar path.
You hear a growl, and it’s definitely close. Close enough to make your heart pound wildly and the hair on your neck stand up.
A twig snaps somewhere behind you, and more than one growl can be heard. It sounds like you’re surrounded! As the first wolf emerges from trees to your right, you let out a terrified scream.
Choso is cleaning up after dinner, humming quietly to himself as he washes the plates he and his guest ate from.
He finds himself smiling often these days, feeling happy and content for the first time since…
No, he refuses to think about that right now. He has someone to talk to, to eat dinner with most evenings, to share things with. He’s not alone anymore.
He’s never really had a guest before she wandered into his garden, and every day since he’s thanked the stars above for sending someone so lovely. She’s sweet and honest and talks to him about her life and seems to actually care about what he has to say.
And she’s beautiful.
Choso hasn’t been with a woman, or even been interested in one, in years. Before finding the tower, Choso sometimes sold his body to make enough money to feed his brothers. He didn’t hate it, but most of the encounters felt hollow to him.
Now, for the first time since he was a teenager, he feels actual desire for someone. But he’s not sure how she feels about him. Maybe he can figure it out if he spends more time with her.
A shrill scream pierces the night, causing Choso to drop the plate he was washing. A tiny piece of it chipped off.
He pauses, listening carefully. He hears another scream, and this time he’s certain. It’s her. She’s in trouble!
Terrible memories flash through his mind as he runs for the door and throws it open. Other screams, calling for Choso to help, begging to be saved as he ran toward the sound. This time, he’ll make it! This time, he won’t lose anyone!
He sprints through the forest, following her voice, tearing through the trees and ignoring the branches scratching his face.
Another sound fills his ears. Growling and snarling, the snapping of teeth. He knows what makes those sounds all too well.
As he breaks free of the tree line and onto a path, he sees her. She’s lying on the ground, curled up to try to protect herself, as a small pack of wolves circle her. In the small patches of moonlight, Choso can see that her cloak is torn and there are bloody marks all over her. There’s blood soaking into the dirt beneath her, and she’s alternating between screaming and whimpering.
Choso yells at the wolves as he rushes forward, kicking the closest ones away. They turn on him, baring their teeth, but he glares at them with the sort of animalistic rage they can understand. They whine as they slowly walk away, leaving him to crouch down and pull her into his arms.
“I’m here! I scared the wolves away!”
She looks up at him with a tear-streaked face, terror in her eyes. “Choso?”
“Yes, it’s me!” he assures her. “I’ll take you back to the tower to bandage your wounds. It’s closer than the village.”
With that, he scoops her up and carries her back to his home, lying her on a rug in front of the fireplace. She’s awake, thankfully, and fully alert.
“I’m going to take off your cloak. Is that alright?” he asks.
She nods, raising up to help him remove it. Then he begins looking over her wounds. They’re not deep, though they are bloody and look quite painful. Choso breathes a sigh of relief to know they’re not life threatening. Unless they get infected.
He looks from the bite marks, mostly on her shoulders, hands, and calves, to her face. “We should really clean these,” he tells her. “But I don’t want to pull up your dress or your sleeves without permission.”
She gives him a weak smile. “It’s okay. Get some of the ointment I made for you. It should help.”
He leaves to get the ointment from the kitchen, as well as some cloth and warm water. When he comes back, her bloody dress is lying in the corner, and she’s sitting up on the floor in a thin but modest slip. It’s sleeveless, falling to knee length, and it perfectly reveals her wounds.
Choso doesn’t take the time to stare or blush. This isn’t that type of situation. His only concern is bandaging her up and ensuring her safety.
With her directing him, he cleans the bite marks and applies the ointment, then carefully wraps them in cloth. One arm had to be wrapped from shoulder to fingers, but the other only had a couple of scratches on her shoulder. Both calves had bites that required bandages, and one foot was bruised.
Choso steps out of the room while she examines herself for any hidden wounds, and is relieved that she found none. When all is finished, they sit together by the fireplace.
“Thank you for saving me,” she says. “Those wolves would have killed me.”
“I would never let that happen,” he tells her, looking her in the eyes.
She looks surprised by that comment, but then smiles in that sweet way that has captivated him. “You’re a wonderful person, Choso. You know that, right?”
He feels himself blush a little. “I’m not. I’ve had… many failings. But I’m glad you feel that way.”
They talk a while longer, sticking to light topics that occasionally make her giggle. He thinks she’s marvelous when she laughs, like a bright ray of sun in his dark world. He can’t imagine his life without her in it. He can’t fathom going back to the crushing loneliness. If anything ever happened to her…
His thoughts freeze when she reaches up and begins untying her hair. He watches in stunned silence as she pulls out pins and thin ribbons, finally letting it all come pouring down, fanning out around her. It shimmers in the flickering light of the fireplace, almost seeming to glow.
It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
Then he remembers all at once what she said about her hair before. Letting down her hair is intimate to her. It’s not something she does for everyone. Does that mean she feels comfortable with him? That she trusts him?
He wants to touch her hair, to run his fingers through it, but he doesn’t want to offend her. Instead he stares at it in wonder.
She looks a little shy as she asks, “Do you want to touch it?”
“May I?”
She nods.
He reaches up close to her face and touches one shiny lock, moving his hand down to run over the fine tresses. It feels magnificent. But most wondrous of all is the look on her face: heated, flushed… aroused?
“You’re so beautiful,” he tells her, his face close to hers.
You don’t know what you’re thinking. Letting your hair down? In front of a man who is not your spouse? Your parents would be turning in their graves. But in the moment, it just felt right.
There’s no point in denying it to yourself any longer. You’ve fallen for Choso. When the wolves attacked you, all you could think about was how sad you were that you’d never get to see him again. These past few weeks you’ve spent visiting him have been your happiest since your parents were alive.
And unless you’re reading him completely wrong, you think he feels the same way. So when he leans close to you and tells you you’re beautiful, your natural reaction is to kiss him.
It’s not a deep kiss, just a soft, slow kiss to his lips. When you part, he’s looking at you as if you’re a goddess that has descended to earth. Then he kisses you back.
In a whirl, you’re wrapped in each other’s arms on the rug, his hands in your hair, his mouth on yours, his body pushing against you. While kissing you, his hands move down to your shoulders and slide the straps of your slip down your arms. You feel the silky fabric glide down over your breasts, revealing them to Choso before the slip is pulled down your hips and off your legs, finally discarded near your dress.
He pulls back to look at you with awe, and you feel like some rare treasure, almost too precious to be touched. Choso’s touches are so light and gentle, it feels like he’s afraid he might break you. So when he stares at your panties, clearly wanting to remove them but hesitating, you pull them off yourself.
Choso removes his own clothing, displaying his surprisingly well toned body. You had no idea he was hiding such a perfectly sculpted torso beneath those loose fitting clothes.
He eases you onto your back, then softly pushes your legs apart before positioning himself between them, a little too far back for what you’re expecting. Then he scoots back a little more, bends forward, and kisses your exposed pussy.
The action sends a shiver down your spine, and soon you feel his fingers opening your slickened folds so that his tongue can reach the most sensitive parts of you. Your back arches off the floor as pleasure radiates through your body. His thumb strokes you, his tongue massages your clit, and one of his fingers slips inside you.
“Ch-Choso!” you cry out between gasping breaths. His eyes flick from his work at hand to your face, but he never stops. Not even when you cum, trembling and panting. And soon enough, with his lips wrapped around that tiny little bundle of nerves, you cum for a second time. It washes over you, making your entire body tingle, your wounds forgotten and lost in a sea of ecstasy.
He takes the time to lick up any juices, as if he can’t bear for a single drop to go to waste, before pulling back and sitting on his knees. That’s when you notice his erection, already twitching and leaking.
You raise up and reach toward him, but he gently catches your hand and smiles at you. “It’s alright. You don’t have to do anything. It’s enough for me to know I’m giving you pleasure.”
It doesn’t look like it’s enough. He looks like he might burst. You slip your hand free and reach out again. This time he doesn’t stop you as your fingers brush over his tip. He sighs, his eyes closing, as your hand glides down his shaft. “I want to make you feel good too,” you tell him. “I want us to feel good together.”
His eyes open and he looks at you, a soft blush across his face. “Do you mean…?”
You lie back on the rug, your thighs parted. “Make love to me, Choso. I want to feel you inside me.”
His eyes shine in the fire light, and you think there’s only one word that could describe his expression: love. You look back at him, hoping your expression mirrors his. Because now you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you love this man.
You’re not entirely sure how this will all work out, if you’ll be able to convince him to move to the village and live with you, or if you’ll end up living in the tower with him. And you don’t even want to think about how to deal with his grief over his brothers right now. But you want to help him. You want to put in the effort required to make this work.
He moves closer to you, crawling over top of you while bracing himself with his arms, ensuring he doesn’t let his weight rest on your body. Every move he makes seems to revolve around not hurting you, and you’ve never felt so cherished, so protected.
He leans on one arm while his free hand moves down between your bodies, positioning himself. Then, he pushes in. In true Choso fashion, he’s careful and slow, afraid to cause you discomfort. You wrap your arms around his neck and look up at his face. He seems strained, as if he’s using all his willpower to hold back.
“You’re not hurting me,” you tell him, pulling him closer. “Please, I want you deeper, harder.”
He hesitates for a moment, staring at your face. Then all at once he plunges in, all the way, making you gasp and tighten your grip on his neck. “Sorry,” he mumbles, but you shake your head, bucking your hips up to take him even deeper.
When he starts thrusting, you moan out his name, your nails scratching at his back, your body rising to meet him each time. His bare chest brushes against yours, one of his hands at the back of your head, holding you snugly, his fingers laced in your hair.
“I love you,” he mutters into your ear. “I love you so much!”
You shudder as he hits an incredibly sensitive spot. “I love you too, Choso!”
He thrusts faster, deeper, groaning when you clench him. His body is scraping across you, creating delicious friction against your clit, making you whimper into his shoulder.
Within minutes, you cum again, squeezing him tightly, almost sobbing. You feel so overwhelmed with pleasure, with love, that it feels like you’re unraveling in his arms.
A little after, you feel Choso pulsing and twitching within you before strings of hot cum fill you up. You stay latched onto him for a while, reluctant to let go and be out of his arms.
When you finally part, you both sit in silence, only breathing, until the two of you regain your strength. Then Choso helps you clean up before sitting back down on the rug beside you.
Feeling a little awkward after all of that, you decide to make light conversation.
“I think I can make it home tomorrow,” you say. “I have a lot of medicines to make. The villagers can get impatient. Would you like to come visit me sometime? I can show you how I use your herbs.”
He looks at you for a moment, a strange look on his face. “Are you sure you should try tomorrow? You’re still hurt.”
“I think I’ll be alright, thanks to you. None of the wounds hinder me from walking.”
He’s silent for several seconds, then says, “The wolves might come back.”
“I don’t think they’re as active during the day,” you reply. “Maybe you could walk me home.” You add the last part as a way to invite him. You really hope he’ll take a liking to the village.
He smiles, but there’s something off about it, as if the emotion isn’t genuine. “Sure. I can walk you home.”
Did you do something wrong? He’s being strangely closed off. He seems to be avoiding your eyes as he stands up. “I’ll fix you some tea.”
You nod, suddenly feeling insecure. When he returns with the cup, you’re so distracted that you barely glance at it before taking a long drink.
Maybe, if your mind hadn’t been elsewhere, you would have noticed the strange smell. But even so, you definitely notice the taste. How could you not? It comes from something you made after all. But why would Choso put the sleep aid medicine in your tea? And if it’s strong enough for you to taste this clearly, he must have used way too much.
Oh no. This will knock you out for at least a day!
As your vision gets fuzzy, you drop the cup and try to look at him. “Choso? Why…?”
His face looks pained. “I’m sorry, but it’s too dangerous for you to go home. Let’s wait until you’re healed up, okay? I’ll take good care of…”
You black out before you hear the rest of the sentence.
When you awake, you’re lying on a straw mattress on the floor of an unfamiliar room. There’s a blanket over you and a soft pillow beneath your head.
You sluggishly pull the blanket off and sit up, holding a hand to your head. You feel groggy and tired, your muscles sore. Looking down at yourself, you see that your bandages have been changed and your slip, the only clothing you have on, has been washed.
But most alarming of all is the metal shackle on your ankle. There’s a long chain attached to it, so long that you can’t yet see the other end. Underneath the shackle, strips of cloth are tied around your ankle, probably to keep the metal from bruising your skin.
You get to your feet and look around. The walls are gray stone. There’s a small dresser and mirror off to the side, a shelf lined with books, and the mattress you just got up from. On the dresser there’s a basket of fresh fruits and nuts that can be found in the forest. And on one rounded wall, a pair of deep red shudders.
Gathering your strength, you walk over to the shudders and open them. As you suspected from the minute you stood up, you’re in the top of the tower! You look down, the cold wind hitting your face and blowing your hair around wildly. It’s a straight drop, not a single foothold in sight.
You glance at the only door in the room, noticing the numerous locks attached to it. The terrible truth sinks in to your drowsy brain.
You’re trapped here. Choso has effectively taken you prisoner, and you have no idea why.
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