#90% of them don’t give a shit about gender studies

[its-murderous-business]

Me, a month before my study abroad started: omg I’m going to meet so many new people who are all interested in gender studies! Why else would they sign up for this gender studies themed study abroad?what if I fall in love and have a whirlwind romance and make new friends and have the time of my life!

Me now, a month into my study abroad: I swear to god, if these people say the r slur again I’m going to start screaming. I don’t think I’ve heard them have a single conversation that wasn’t about alcohol, drugs, or partying. No you don’t need to remind me you go to Harvard you’ve mentioned it 12 times. Oh good more petty nonsensical drama. great. Can I go home yet.

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for August 2021! Below you’ll find 23 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​.

Happy reading!

He Carries The Key by @lululawrence

[Niall/Louis, OT5, 8k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Niall was mostly home, ready for a shower and a chat with Louis, when suddenly Niall was flooded with emotions from the pack bond.Shock. Surprise. Confusion.But mostly fear.Something was wrong with Louis.

Plus One by mynameispiaivy / @missrefridgefreetorator

[Louis/Luke Malak, 3k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis is invited to an event and he has to bring a "plus one".

Better Mistakes by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10

[Harry/Louis, 117k, Explicit, tumblr post]

“Look, this doesn’t have to be the end of the world-”

“Oh but it fucking is,” Louis said, shaking his head. “How the fuck am I going to tell Matt I’m pregnant with a baby when we’ve not had sex in months? He might be a bit thick sometimes, but he is gonna know there’s no chance this baby is his.”

“You don’t have to, uh, tell him it’s mine, right?”

Louis scoffed. “Why, are you scared he’s gonna come and kick the shit out of you?”

“He wishes,” Harry laughed, looking back down at the test. “Shit, I … I can’t believe this. Louis, I didn’t mean for this. Honestly. It was just sex for me. We have great sex, and I didn’t see why I should have to turn that down, not when you clearly wanted it as much as I did. I didn’t want this to end in a baby.”

Louis knows he shouldn’t be sleeping with his boyfriend’s enemy. He knows that. But there’s something that draws him back to Harry over and over again. Falling in love wasn’t part of the plan...

Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry/Nick Grimshaw, 7k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Hello, I’m sorry if this isn’t a post that is allowed on this channel, but I was hoping for the best since it is regarding a photography project I’m working on at the moment. I’m working on a set of sunrise kiss photos and therefore am needing a willing kissing partner. I’d hoped to be able to provide one for myself, but it hasn’t panned out, so here I am! I was hoping to find someone here, since I know most of you (at least peripherally) and can generally vouch for you not being creeps. Plus this way I know you will understand needing to continue to tweak the camera settings and reshoots etc that others might not.

Anyway, I’m looking for someone who identifies as male or male-ish (sorry, ladies) who is between the ages of 18 and 40. I’m a 29 year old male-ish myself, for those who would like to know before replying.

If you’re interested and are free the early morning of August 7th and would like to kiss in the sunrise with me for the sake of some (hopefully) interesting and fun photos, let me know via DM and I’ll give you the location.

OR the one where Louis needs a kissing partner, two show up, and it all might turn out for the best that way.

call my name and save me from the dark by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 4k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

“I don’t know if it was a nightmare,” he confesses to the ceiling, the darkness making it easier to speak up even when he still has to close his eyes to stop himself from tearing up. “It feels more like a memory. But it can’t be.”

Harry shifts, and Louis can feel his chin perched on his chest, doesn’t need to look at him to know that Harry’s studying him. “Why?” He prompts, when Louis doesn’t immediately continue, and Louis swallows, tries to shrug off the apprehension, the fear that Harry will think that he’s gone mad.

“Because I heard them pronounce me dead.”

Feels like home by @neondiamond

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis comes home from work with an exciting surprise. Daydreaming and celebrations ensue.

this is my jam by @disgruntledkittenface

[Harry/Louis, 4k, Mature, tumblr post]

The guy’s eyes are so blue that Harry can’t tear his gaze away, even as he moves to the beat. The searing light shade is magnetic; he finds himself leaning in and yelling, “This is my jam!” only to earn a laugh from thin pink lips that Harry’s definitely going to be dreaming about tonight.

“Your jam?”

When the guy yells back over the music, his blue eyes sparkling and his lips twisted in a smirk, Harry’s chest literally puffs out with pride at earning his attention. His obvious approval. Tongue-tied, Harry nods and closes his eyes as he lets go, the music reverberating around them. All of the usual inhibitions that keep him in the corner at parties fall away and he bounces around the center of the dance floor, waving his arms above his head. Somehow his towel stays on, even as he starts to think he wouldn’t mind if it fell off. Fuck it. He finally made it here, he’s damn well going to enjoy it.

Harry goes to a gay bathhouse for the first time. 90s AU.

I Know My Arithmedick (2 + 2 = 4sum) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Harry/Louis + Louis/multiple partners, 3k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry wants to watch Louis fuck someone else. Louis loves giving Harry what he wants. It’s simple math, really.

doG…and his friend by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright / yeah_alright

[Louis/Harry, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

When Joan has to move out of her small, nice home and in with a random roommate, she obviously brings her dog/boyfriend, Doug, with her.

Doug makes a friend. And maybe more.

I Heard You Talking by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry, 10k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

It had been an hour of their noise that Louis had been dealing with, and for some reason the fact that these grown men were being this rowdy in the quiet carriage over a game of Uno was the breaking point for him. He stood up and turned around, making his way down to where the group of five were somehow gathered around a table.

Louis stopped at the table and cleared his throat, mouth open and ready to politely request they keep it down when the man who was sitting with his back to Louis turned.

He was stunningly gorgeous.

Blinking a ridiculous number of times in an attempt to pull himself together, Louis coughed and spit out, “This is the quiet carriage.”

God, he was nearly forty and that was the best he could do in front of a set of pretty, green eyes?

Or the one where Harry is famous and Louis doesn't have a clue. Good thing his son is able to help him out.

All That You Need by @haztobegood

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Pre-heat was always one of Harry’s favorite times to spend with Louis. It was a time to rest up and indulge in extra cuddles, like basking in a ray of sunshine before having to dive off the deep end. Louis lavishes him with tender touches and soft kisses. Harry wants to savor this time as long as possible. The unquenchable need will come later, but for now, his desires are simple. He just needed to be closer to his alpha. As close as possible.

sickly sweet fonding by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, General, tumblr post]

A few members of their crew start piling up the dirty dishes and taking them over to the sink. Harry walks around the cameras, and smiles brightly at Louis.

“What do you think, Lou? Do I have it in the bag?”

Louis eyes a bowl of bright pink lumpy batter being cleaned from Harry’s side. “Of course you do.” He wraps an arm around Harry’s waist and steers him away, all while ignoring the dramatic gagging Niall is doing. He doesn’t think it’s just the batter making Niall gag.

or the one where Louis fonds over Harry's horrible baking skills

Fractured Moonlight by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis huffs because he doesn’t want to deal with this. “Listen, I appreciate your concern.” He doesn’t. “But it’s not your duty to look after the sad man at the bar. Okay?”

'Ere comes the milk by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Harry/Louis, 1k, Explicit]

Louis is obsessed with Harry's mommy milkers.

everything comes back to you by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Louis/Harry, 8k, Explicit]

Harry and Louis are childhood best friends. What happens when Harry has to move towns just as they are starting their secondary gender presentations? What happens when fate brings them back together years later in the most unexpected of ways?

He Still Takes My Breath Away by @parmahamlarrie

[Harry/Louis, 32k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Camp Infinity is the perfect place for a lot of things; hiking, swimming, sports, eating, and falling in love. Harry Styles is a bit too familiar with the last one from his years of being a camper. This year things will be different. He’s 21, a grown man now, and ready to see Camp Infinity from a different point of view; working as a lifeguard. However, his whole summer turns upside down when a familiar British lad makes his return into Harry's life.Or the one where Harry is a lifeguard and Louis is the head of recreation. And, sometimes, you just need a little push to realize what was right in front of you the whole time.

Also known as – The Summer Camp Fic

tread lightly on my ground by fairytalelights / @lookslikefairytale

[Louis/Harry, 20k, Explicit, tumblr post]

No, that's the tragic part of this, the part that makes Harry feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke on him. The father of his baby is exactly right, exactly who he always imagined himself having kids with. He just imagined them married, bonded. Happy. He didn't imagine them barely talking, tip-toeing around each other because neither of them is brave enough to talk about what happened between them. He didn't imagine the father of his child not loving him back.

or, the one where Harry is having Louis' baby, but Louis doesn't know it's his.

Getting a Head for Heights by @ladyaj-13 / LadyAJ_13

[Louis/Greg James, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

The problem is, Louis thinks Greg would be quite good to date, so it would really help if everyone would stop reminding him of that fact so he could unthink it. He’d be a gentleman, at least until Louis talked him out of it, and he’s funny and nice and hot and they’re both into music and football and drama. He’s also a freakish giant of a human, and the problem with dating is that sooner or later you have to stand next to each other.

We Go Together (series) by @beelou / cherrylarry

[Louis/Harry, 3k, General, tumblr post]

A grease au

Hot Boy Summer (series) by @louisandtheaquarian / zita17

[Harry/Louis, 35k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Louis is an overworked bartender hoping to save up enough extra tips to buy a new air conditioner before he literally melts during a scorching NYC heat wave. Harry is the new neighbor that wakes him up by moving in his sole day off at 6am. An NYC enemies to neighbors to lovers AU featuring a rickety fire escape, the 2021 Euros, Lirry bickering like a divorced couple, and enough OT5 clichés to rot your teeth. (If Harry's pastries don't get them first.)

across the river is where my heart is by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 8k, General, tumblr post]

The first time they see each other is when they are toddlers, playing out in the yard. Louis remembers sitting on the perfectly trimmed lawn and getting yelled at for picking at the soft blades of grass; she remembers looking over, across the narrow but deep and wild river, and watching another little girl, out in a different garden, picking flowers for her mother.

She remembers carefully raising her hand and waving—her little heart beating hard in her chest, as if she had done something dangerous, something forbidden, even though back then she could not understand the true divide the River made amongst them.

bright eyes, blue denim by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis' favourite jeans have suddenly disappeared from where he always got them. Harry is a store manager with an affinity for customer care, particularly when the customer has bright blue eyes and happens to be very flirty.

whatever you feel like doing in this moment by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Harry/Louis, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis gets all that he's ever wanted during his favourite game at their group's weekly improv show.

[brandyllyn]

War makes thieves, and peace hangs them (pt1)

Summary: When Santi needs people for a mission he knows just who to call. But it quickly becomes apparent they’re short one key role - a thief. Preferably one with nice breasts who makes friends easily.

Told from POV of Triple Frontier characters and while it’s an OFC she is never described. Her "name" is a radio handle. 

Other chapters... My Masterlist

Word count: 2319. Read it on AO3.

Author’s note: Look, I’ve been itching to write something hella raunchy and while I love my other fics they’re full of soft people being dorks and falling love. This is not that. This is filthy smut basically from the go. The plot (what of it there is) exists solely to allow these people to have sex. Also, Fuck Tom. He’s in this fic for like 90 seconds before I summarily get rid of him.

Rating: R swearing. objectification. drugs (mentioned, not used). gendered slurs. no sex in this chapter.

"It’s a five man job," Santi was saying it for the third time that night but Benny just kept shaking his head at him. Across from Benny, Frankie pushes his ball cap off, tossing his arm over his chair and letting it dangle from two fingers.

"C’mon you guys," Frankie starts to say but is cut off.

"Maybe, but not this five," Will points out.

"You had no right to call in someone else without talking to me," Santi can feel the edge to his voice.

"Am I wrong?"

The question deflates the irritation out of Santi. No, he wasn’t. That was the shitty part. The more they found out about this job the more he realized they were going to need someone with a different skillset than the five of them. "Fine, who is he? How do you know him?"

"We ran into each other in South Africa. Ended up on the same job, different sides," Benny taps a finger against his beer bottle. "A few other, less than legal, follow-ups. They’re the best I know of Santi."

"Yeah," Santi picks his bottle up, draining the last of it. "But all things considered I’m not sure that means much."

Benny rolls his eyes. "Whatever man, they’ll be here tonight. I’ll introduce you and you can make your own decision. Fair?"

Santi nods once and watches as Benny gets up. "I’ll get the next round." The other men waggle their beers and Benny doesn’t even bother counting before heading off the empty outside patio and back into the bar.

It was a quiet night, at a quiet out of the way bar. From their vantage on the patio over the water they can see people as they arrive, but also are surrounded on three sides by water, minimizing eavesdroppers.

"I don’t like it," Tom grumbles and Santi turns to him.

"I feel like we’ve covered that," he points out.

"Some new guy we don’t know? Fuck Pope, this whole thing is already too dangerous," Tom continues.

"What do you want me to do," he hisses. "I’ve come too fucking far to back out-"

He pauses when he hears the door to the patio open, a waitress coming through with a tray of beers. He’d clocked her from the corner of his eye, about eight miles of the longest legs he’s ever seen in his life, bare from tiny denim shorts down to a pair of unlaced combat boots.

Those were odd. Not necessarily what he would have expected. He studies her a bit more closely as she sets the tray of beers down, squatting next to the table to transfer the tray from her shoulder to the table. Tom had already fallen face first into the girl’s cleavage - which was either ample or benefitting greatly from being on display in a bright orange halter top that started somewhere around her rib cage. She returned Tom’s lascivious stare with a wink, brushing her body against the man’s as she stood back up and passed one of the bottles to him.

Santi reached for one but was blocked by her body as she leaned across the table, sliding a bottle to Frankie who rubbed a hand over his mouth and tried in vain to make eye contact with something other than her breasts. Will was silent on receiving his, a half smile on his face as he watched her stretch a bottle to him. Finally she turns to Santi, placing the last beer in front of him and flipping the tray up under her arm.

"Tu amigo pagó," she smiles, gesturing with her chin inside. He glances that way and sees Benny nodding back from the bar, tucking bills into his wallet. "Tienes algo…" she starts to say and he turns back to see her pluck a bit of fuzz off the collar of his shirt. Smiling, she pinches it between her fingers and flicks it over his shoulder. "De nada."

"Gracias," he winks at her and she winks back before flouncing off the patio and back into the bar. Both Frankie and Tom turn around fully in their chairs to watch her - but Santi was perfectly positioned to watch the sway of her ass as she went back inside.

"Hot damn," Tom gives a low whistle.

Santi rolls his eyes, focusing on the beer in front of him. To his left, Frankie is fiddling with a coaster before he suddenly jerks and looks at his hand with suspicion.

"What the fuck?" Frankie snaps. "Where the fuck is my hat?"

"What?" Will asks.

"My hat. My fucking hat." Frankie holds up the coaster and glares at it, then at Santi. "Where is my fucking hat?"

"Did you set it-" Santi starts but Frankie cuts him off.

"I was holding it in my goddamn hand. And now I’m not." Frankie pushes himself back from the table, peering under it.

"What’s got Fish riled up?" Benny asks, sliding into a chair on the other side of the table.

"He’s throwing a fit about his hat," Will fills him in.

"Fuck you, I liked that hat," Frankie grouses, eyes still scanning the floor.

Ben laughs and Frankie shoots him a dirty look. "Ah, I see you’ve met our thief then," Benny says with a satisfied smirk.

"What?" Frankie jerks forward, the legs of his chair hitting the wood of the deck with a thunk.

Santi cocks his head, "You set up a little audition did you?" When Benny nods Santi grins. "The waitress?" Will nods again and gestures to someone inside. A minute later, the woman pulls up a chair next to Ben - wearing Frankie’s hat. He had to admit, she looked cute. He hadn’t gotten a good look at her face before, a little preoccupied with other parts of her, but she was quite stunning.

"You should give Frankie his hat back," Santi tells her in a low voice.

"Nah," Frankie quickly interjects, a little slack-jawed. "You can uh… you can keep it. For a bit." She grins at Frankie and judging from the look on his friend’s face, Santi had an idea of what mental image Frankie would be jerking off to later that night.

"Boys, this is Wildcat," Ben wraps an arm over the woman’s shoulders, "the best thief I’ve ever met. And ours for this mission."

"Neat trick with the hat," Tom says to her breasts.

"Not to burst your bubble Benny," she turns to him, "but I can’t take the job."

"What? Why not?"

She reaches into her top and while Santi would have sworn that you couldn’t fit so much as a tic-tac in there she manages to pull out a small baggie of off-white crystal powder. A flick of her wrist and it lands in the middle of the table. "I don’t deal with this kind of shit."

Santi reaches for it, getting there just before Tom who mutters 'bitch' under his breath. Holding it up for a moment he studies it before hiding it under his palm on the table. "Who’d you take it from?"

"Me," Tom sounds defeated.

"Yeah, like I said, I don’t deal with this kind of shit." She turns to Benny and shrugs, "Sorry babe, you’ll have to find someone else." She gets up, leaning over the table and placing the ball cap back on Frankie’s head and giving it a flirtatious tap. From his angle, Santi can see practically the same view as Frankie, as well as the line of her back and the curve of her ass as she leans over.

She kisses the top of Ben’s head when she stands up, giving Tom a wide berth and going around the table. Santi doesn’t watch her past that, eyes on Tom.

"What the fu-" but he’s interrupted by something shiny dropping onto the table.

"Sorry," her voice was right next to his ear, "forgot this."

It takes Santi a full five seconds to process what he’s seeing. One of his dog tags. He pulls his chain out of his shirt quickly, sees the primary one… and the loose shorter chain hanging empty.

"Son of a-" he turns but she’s at the door already, winking and blowing him a kiss before leaving.

"Pope let me-" Tom starts but Santi turns on him.

"Fucking meth, man? What’s wrong with you?"

"Hey, it’s just a bit to help me keep going," Tom raises his hands, "don’t fucking act like it’s the end of the fucking world."

"You’re out," Santi says it with finality.

"What?"

"Anyone have a problem with that?" Santi looks at the other three men but they all shake their heads.

"Fuck you," Tom spits, "fucking Fish has a coke problem and I don’t see any of you-"

"Hey," Frankie leans forward, pointing a finger at Tom, "you can go fuck yourself."

"Not if I-"

But Santi is on his feet, hands in Tom’s shirt as he walks the man backwards a few steps and shoves him against the low railing on the patio. "I love you man, but I can’t have this shit. It’s too important. Go back to the hotel."

Tom deflates. "It’s just to help man. Just to help."

"I know," he pats Tom on the shoulder. "I know. But you’re gonna have to sit this one out." Santi watches the other man leave. "Go get her back," he tells Ben.

Will swipes the baggie from the table, raising an eyebrow in question and Santi nods. Will quickly turns and tosses it into the lake beyond.

She slid into Tom’s chair without so much as a twitch of her eyebrow that the other man is gone. "Are we trying again?"

Santi sits down to her left. "First tell me how you got my dog tags."

"And my hat," Frankie asks.

"Quick fingers," she says, "two distractions."

"Two?" Frankie asks and she winks at him.

"One. Two." She shrugs each shoulder, making her breasts jiggle with the motion. Frankie blushes and reaches up to cover his face with one hand, pretending to scratch his beard.

"Seriously," Santi grabs her attention again, "how’d you do it?"

She shrugs again, "People don’t watch for the things they should be watching for. You guys… you’re perceptive. Situationally aware. You could probably tell me every weapon within sixty feet of this table." She smiles, "You’ve noticed my hand on your arm, and you’ve noticed my foot against your ankle." He had, was enjoying the feel of her fingers against his skin and her toes rubbing along his sock. "But where is my other hand?"

Santi startles, looking down. Her other hand comes into his line of sight and he sees she’s holding a watch.

"Wait that’s-" Will splutters.

"Son of a bitch," he mutters and hears Ben laugh. He turns on Will, "What were you watching?"

She answers for him, "He’s been watching my mouth." Will coughs but doesn’t deny it. She grins at them both before leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms, waggling her fingers. "Figure out where someone wants their attention to go and you can make them concentrate on anything."

Santi bites his lip before he looks over at Benny. "You trust her?" Ben nods. "Then she’ll do."

"Oh goodie," she snarks, "a dream come true. So what’s the job?"

Santi lowers his voice as he outlines the next few days. She asks good questions and the five of them roughly map out their plans. When they finish, Santi leans back in his chair. "So, we’ll meet in the hotel lobby tomorrow morning, 0600?" Everyone around him nods except for Ben who just curses.

"Fucking hell Pope, you know I hate mornings."

Will rolls his eyes, smacking his brother in the arm, "How the hell did you get through Airborne with an attitude like that?"

"By being a damned good Ranger," Ben grouses back.

"And cheating on the written shit," Frankie mumbles into his beer. Ben shoots him a glower but Frankie just smiles to himself, ignoring the other man.

"Well, if you boys are done," Cat breaks in, "I have a date." For just a split second Santi thought she was looking at him, but he follows her gaze over his shoulder and sees a petite brunette wearing a leather mini-skirt and white tank top crooking a finger their way. Cat winks back at her and rises gracefully from the table, palms flat against it. He couldn’t help but notice her long fingers.

When she gets to the other woman she wraps a hand behind her neck, pulling the brunette into a kiss. Even in heels, the woman was a good three inches shorter than her. The brunette breaks the kiss and leans into her, whispering into her ear. Santi sees her eyebrow go up, a half smile, and then she was looking back at their table and those beautiful legs were coming their way.

"Ben?"

"Yes Cat?" the man answers with a raised eyebrow.

"Can you vouch for your friends?"

Benny doesn’t hesitate before answering, "With my life."

"That’s good to hear," she grins. "Frankie?"

The man’s head whips around. "Yeah?"

"Would you like to come with us?"

Frankie blinks and Santi almost felt sorry for the man. Almost.

"Wha-?"

"Teresa would like for you to come along. And I’m not opposed. So…?"

Frankie’s moment of confusion passes in a heartbeat and then he is shoving his chair back and scrambling to his feet. "Fuck yes."

She laughs, leading him back to the brunette who is grinning. The brunette wraps one arm around Frankie’s waist and the other around Cat’s as they leave. The three men left at the table watch them go in varying stages of disbelief.

"Lucky son of a bitch," Will mutters and Santi can’t help but nod.

"Some thief you found us Ben," Santi says into his beer as he leans back in his chair.

"She’s the best," Ben grins back. Part2

[disengaged]

If each of them were gender bent, and in, like, a high school setting, what vibe/ aesthetic do you think they’d all have?

Also side note; but I’m glad to see you’re back. I really hope you’re feeling a bit better (and you don’t that covid 😩) Sometimes you just need to take a break :,)

keepin it real w you: now that i've been out of high school for a while, i don't engage much w high school aus or high-school-themed media ?? feels ... idk, just below my current maturity level or something. like writing about children. it's weird

regardless, i'll give it a go:

james: jock, on the rugby and/or volleyball team, will fuck a bitch up on the field but cannot hold a conversation at a party to save her life. probably does set construction for the drama kids + has a 70-75 average in every class. addresses every teacher as "sir" or "ma'am"

dave: also a jock, but a Mean Jock. on the cheerleading team & wants everyone to know it. abysmal grades except in social studies, for some reason. routinely wears the tiniest shorts known to man but never seems to get dresscoded bc teachers just don't wanna deal with her

lars: captain of the debate team & president of the students union, a notorious gossip, master of organizing bakesales/school events. is also overseeing the entire grad committee, which gives her a significant amount of power over the rest of the student body

kirk: plays dungeons & dragons every day at lunch, looks nerdy as shit but gets terrible grades, complete space cadet, is on a first name basis with the librarians. she also wears the same black hoodie like 3/5 days a week + frequently shows up to class stoned as fuck.

rob: also a jock but in a cool way, prob does rugby and like ... idk curling ? .... everyone likes her, she's the most sought-after party invite. does not personally deal drugs but always knows someone who knows where to get em. also permanently clad in athletic clothes

cliff: average grades, she's chillin in the back row tho. probably hangs with james during set construction. definitely skips assemblies/pep rallies to go to mcdonalds, has never gone to a school event outside of school hours and never will. has a car (shitty ancient toyota tercel) so she gets Cool Points for that

jason: just an absolute fucking dork. gets 90s in most classes, has to sit in the front row bc her eyesight is so fucking bad, has like 3 close friends. wears straight-leg blue jeans + frumpy sweaters + converse every single day. is probably in jazz band and loves it

[blossom-hwa]

Ooooh Mark Lee + Hogwarts au with hufflepuff reader pretty please? Belated congratulations on 3 years, Lina!!! ❤ I'm so happy I stumbled on your blog during your last drabble game! Truly one of the best writers on here!!! -🌻

Sunny!! Thank you so much for being here with me these past few months! You are 90% of the reason why Swing! and Breathe, and Live exist as aus - without you being there to let me yell about these ideas, I never would’ve written them. I’m also so grateful you stumbled upon my blog, and hush - I'm nowhere near the best writer, but I’m flattered you think so <3 I hope you enjoy this little token of my appreciation for your existence!

3-year anniversary drabble game: send me an NCT/WAYV/Stray Kids/The Boyz member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and  I’ll write a drabble for you!

~

Title: Study Sessions

Pairing: Mark x gender neutral!reader

Triggers: none

~

“Why,” you moan, pointedly ignoring Madame Pince’s pinching gaze, “did I decide to take Arithmancy?”

Mark pats your hand. “Because both of your parents got NEWTs in it and pressured you into taking it too.”

“I don’t like it when you make sense,” you warn, twirling your quill so it points right to him. The tip drips ink onto your robes. “Shit.”

“Y/N, it’s not too bad,” Mark tries to console. “You’re just finding the value of x here - it’s almost the same as the basic algebra you learned before coming here.”

“Well, just because I’m a Hufflepuff doesn’t mean I’m good at finding y’s fucking x!” you all but wail, planting your face into the book. “Y should solve its own relationship problems,” you continue, voice muffled by the pages. 

Mark snorts at that, he really does. “Y/N, seriously.”

“Mark, seriously,” you mimic, lifting your head back up. “God, I can’t believe I need to pass this stupid test so I can keep playing Quidditch. All of my other grades are fine, why can’t I just let this one slip?”

“Y/N, I really agree with you, but Professor Vector isn’t into Quidditch the way McGonagall is, so she’s not going to give you a free pass,” Mark says. He looks out the window. Maybe the two of you can go outside for a short break?

But no, it’s raining, and even worse than failing this test is you getting sick and being unable to do anything for the next few days. Mark needs to come up with something else to motivate you. Idly, he pats your head while trying to think of ideas. 

Something really stupid pops into his head. It’s so stupid that Mark wants to cringe just thinking of it, but it might work. 

“Y/N.” He shakes your slumped shoulders lightly. “Listen, for every ten problems you complete correctly, I’ll give you a kiss.”

Your head shoots up. “I thought you said no kisses during study sessions,” you say cautiously, eyes narrowed but bright with stupid hope. 

Mark’s heart melts a little. “Yes, but I think you need more motivation,” he replies, trying hard not to blush under your sharp gaze. “Unless you don’t want it...?”

“No, I want it!” Hastily whipping the end of your yellow scarf away, you search for your quill. “I’m working, don’t bother me!”

Mark watches in fascination as you attack the problems with far more vigor than he’s used to seeing when it comes to studying. Maybe he should try this more, he thinks, as your quill scribbles numbers and symbols across the page. It seems to be working, at the very least. 

“Done with ten!” you finally say, pushing a sheet of parchment over to Mark. “Am I right? Please tell me I’m right.”

Quickly, he scans the page. He can almost feel how taut you are right next to him as he tracks the steps you took for each problem, as he marks each one correct until the last. “You mixed up the steps for this one.”

The groan you let out is almost comical as you messily scribble the wrong answer out and work out the right one. “Can I still get a kiss?” you ask, pushing the page back to him. “Please?”

A stupid smile crosses Mark’s face as he nods. He can never be too strict around you, he thinks, something that’s both a blessing and a curse. “Come here,” he says, wiggling his fingers. 

He doesn’t even have to wait before you’re leaning forward to press your lips to his, hands rising to cup his cheeks. For several blissful seconds, Mark lets himself relax in your warm hold, rubbing small circles into your skin where his hands have settled at your waist. 

Then Haechan, of course, has to ruin the moment (as he always does - Mark has no idea how he always manages to have the worst timing possible). “No making out in the library,” his voice says, making Mark shriek and you jump. 

“Haechan, you fucking asshole,” you snarl, throwing an ink-covered quill at him. “Get out of here!” 

Smirking, the Slytherin retreats back into the library shelves. Mark just sits there, trying to calm the furious blush across his cheeks. “Back to work,” he says, determinedly turning back to the table. 

“Oh, come on,” you whine. “Can’t we continue where we left off?”

Mark would dearly love to, but he also can’t be a bad boyfriend who lets you slack off on your grades. “Not this time,” he says with finality. “Ten more problems, let’s go.”

(The study session ends eight kisses later, when you finally finish all of the worksheets Professor Vector left. And when you complete the last one, Mark makes sure to give you the sweetest kiss you could receive. It’s worth it, it really is, even if Madame Pince is the one who catches you this time and sends a flurry of books to chase you out of the library.)

[lexa-lives-in-us]

This could be a flashback, but Dairon watching Beau get attached to Yasha and having some painful memories about what happened when they got too close to someone. Trying to stop Beau from looking for Yasha after she disappears for months/years...

Part 12 of ???

Read 1 - 2 - 3 - 4  - 5 - 6  - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11

Marion leaves after a few minutes to go help Veth and a now free Caduceus with lunch prep, and Dairon leans back on the couch, observing the scene in front of her.

As Jester, Fjord and Caleb run over a few details on the screens in front of them, Dairon watches as Yasha and Beau circle around each other, studying the other’s moves on the training mats, and finally stepping forward and backwards in a dance of studied movements.

Dairon watches them spar, hiding a smile when Beau sweeps Yasha’s legs and sends her ass to the floor; Yasha makes a grabby hand gesture towards her wife, and when Beau goes to help her up, Yasha drags her on the floor with her.

Beau shrieks, a shriek that becomes a howl of laughter when Yasha starts tickling her, and Dairon can’t help but think how fucking wrong they’d all been.

They remember clearly telling Beau how she couldn’t throw her life away for just a woman. They remember the way young Beauregard had scoffed, so very little scars on her face and her soul, and what she’d responded.

“You don’t know her, Dairon.” she’d said with a determination that Dairon knew would have brought her to her ruin. “Yasha is not and will never be just a woman. You can’t understand.”

But Dairon could. They could understand way too well, unfortunately.

It’s Dairon’s second week at basic training.

The CIA wants to screen them, massacre them with their inspections, figure out who has the tools to survive that life and who doesn’t, and Dairon is more than happy to prove all the negative expectations wrong.

Because it’s the 90s, and not only the CIA likes to divide their squadrons in male agents and female agents, but is also incredibly sexist in what they expect from one rather than the other.

Dairon announces clearly their gender identity right off the bat, but no one really cares.

There’s five girls left with them at the end of the second week, and two of them have already made clear that they don’t like them. Dairon hasn’t spent enough time with the other three to figure them out.

They’ve been too busy trying to avoid the nine male agents who are constantly trying to get them to snap.

It’s the end of the day, and it’s an easy sparring session. Dairon wants to get it done and over with, but of course one of the guys pushes them while they walk past them, and Dairon has had enough.

They don’t care that it’s not their turn: they flip around and grab the agent by the arm, yanking them towards the mat.

“Fucking do that again, I dare you.” they growl.

He starts laughing, just like the rest of the guys.

“Right. I’m not going to raise hands on a chick.”

There’s another laugh, but it comes from behind Dairon, and it’s an angry one.

“How dense do you have to be?! You know Dairon isn’t a chick. They’ve told you so already.”

Dairon whips their head around, and there she is, this gorgeous small woman, who couldn’t be taller than 5′2″, fists clenched at her sides and an angry expression on her round features. Her pale skin is reddened by the frustration she is showing.

Dairon is in love in an instant.

Slowly, they turn to look at the guy who’s pushed them.

He raises an eyebrow, throwing a punch at Dairon’s face, a strike they easily avoid.

“Come on!” one of the other guys yells, “Kick her ass!”

Dairon hears a commotion behind them, followed by a grunt and the sound of a body hitting the floor, and when they turn, successfully avoiding a second strike, they see the guy who’s talked rolling on the ground and holding his nose, and the girl grinning and shaking her hand from the numbness of the hit.

“Well, then.” Dairon says with a grin.

***

They end up in the infirmary together, while five of the guys get transported to the other wing to treat more serious injuries.

Dairon and the girl exchange a smile from above the nurses’ shoulders, and leave the place together.

***

It’s quick and it’s easy, the way they fall for each other. For the whole duration of training, they stick together, sneaking around at night to go see each other in their rooms.

The world sees them as two girls, and no one ever suspects anything.

After training, after screening, and after the first basic assignments, they manipulate their S.O.s and end up in the same division, in the same teams.

Life is easy.

Life is wonderful.

Life is smiling upon Dairon, and they end up moving in together pretty quickly. Agents and special ops by day, lovers by night.

Nothing couldn’t be more perfect. They cover each other’s backs on assignments, and Dairon is good. Dairon is fucking majestic in everything they do. Their partner isn’t as good, but she’s certainly one of the best CIA agents there is.

There are occasions where the assignments don’t line up, and Dairon is away for weeks at a time, and sometimes it’s the opposite. Dairon is okay with it. They like having a relationship, but they also enjoy the solitude of certain missions.

Everything is perfect.

***

Until it isn’t.

***

The CIA gets infiltrated. A number of files goes missing, and people start whispering, they start looking at each other wrong. People start dying.

Mysteriously, without leaving a single hint of what or who might be behind it.

It is clear that it’s an inside job. And not just one person, but several.

Dairon is one of the few who is entrusted with investigating.

It’s out of pure professionalism that they don’t mention it to their girlfriend.

For the better or for the worse, Dairon still wonders about it after years.

They try to believe there’s an explanation, when they see a figure moving in one of the security footages they recover from an agent’s house.

The figure is hooded, and masked, but Dairon could recognize that right hook anywhere.

Dairon’s heart starts freezing.

They set up traps, and every conversation with their girlfriends starts to become a masked interrogation. She doesn’t suspect a thing, because Dairon is just that good.

But piece by piece, word by word, Dairon’s heart freezes over, until one day, when their girlfriend’s gun is aimed at them and Dairon’s gun is aimed at her, they don’t feel anything.

“Come with me.” she says to them.

“Have you ever really loved me?” Dairon asks, with fractures all over their frozen, painfully broken heart.

“Oh, baby...” she says, and her tone doesn’t give anything away.

They both pull the trigger at the same time.

***

Dairon wakes up in the hospital with tubes coming out of their body, and one of their students looks up from where they’re sitting.

“They told me you went down on a mission.” they say, excitedly. 

Dairon wants to groan. Why is this kid even here?!

“They took out a bullet from one of your lungs, you weren’t even supposed to survive. That’s so fucking cool.”

The kid gets up and stands next to the bed. Their face is out of focus, but it’s a clean, smiling face.

“Yeah. Fun.” Dairon croaks. “You know what happened to... To the other guy?”

The rookie shrugs.

“Down in a second. Your shot went right through his head, apparently. Everyone at the base is talking about how you probably dismantled whatever infiltration was going on at the Agency.”

Dairon nods, trying to hide the pain. The pain that isn’t at all physical and all emotional. The pain of a shattered, frozen heart.

Then, a thought hits them.

If they really have taken down the mole, and if the information is now of public knowledge, it means that whatever hospital they’re in, it’s probably on a cloaked location. So why the fuck is this kid-

“How did you find me?” Dairon demands.

The kid smiles, a shit eating grin that Dairon will learn to love and care for deeply.

“I have my ways. Can I stay?”

Dairon sighs. Against all odds, they nod.

“Sure. Just shut that mouth, Beauregard, and let me rest.”

Dairon blinks out of their reverie, when a loud scream comes once again from the mats. Somehow, Beauregard has managed to get herself into a pickle with Yasha, Jester and Veth, and the three of them are now all trying to pin her down as Jester shoves whipped cream all over her face.

Beauregard laughs, screams again, and kicks.

“DAIROOOOOOOOOON!” she howls. “HELLPPPPP!”

Dairon scoffs.

“Get fucked, Lionett.”

[therenlover]

shit okay i’m back with more but this time we’re doing nicknames

so i think it’s pretty commonly agreed on that helmut will use german terms of endearment specifically Schatz idk that’s just what everyone seemed to land on (is it cause daniel is german i’m actually curious but that’s not the point) but i see a lot of european terms of endearment but growing up in a half persian family i thought i’d share some commonly used terms in iran that idk anyone could use because imo they’re so sweet and beautiful.

so first there’s azizam, i hear this used a lot with children, but honestly anyone you care deeply about (so loved ones in general) (i don’t know the direct translation so i’m not gonna embarrass myself with that LOL)

then theres joon(am)/jan which is similar to dear from what i understand and this one is used with everyone, even if you’ve just met them

okay this one is weird and idk how it ended up as a nickname but it’s jigar which literally translates to liver but again used more so with children or people younger than you

now there’s also one of my favourites (cause it’s what my grandma calls me) asal which just means honey

okay so if helmut were to use these i think with reader (omg if the reader was iranian tho this makes it hit DIFFERENT) he’d use azizam and asal the most (you can’t tell me he isn’t well travelled the man is royalty) just because those are the ones that seem to make you swoon (i mean they make me swoon) and maybe sometimes he’d throw in one of the ones used for kids just to tease you.

i can just imagine him whispering them between kisses and while lying in bed and it just makes me soft because if i had a partner who embraced a part of my culture i would ✨combust✨

First of all, I’m so sorry I fully believed I had answered this but I am simply boo boo the fool. I’d offer to let you, like, smite me from this earthly plane but there are three people I already promised could do that first, so I’m just gonna go with saying sorry and hoping it expresses my regret. 

Now, on to the actual ask!

First of all, all of those nicknames are absolutely adorable. When I wrote my first Zemo fic I went with german because I’m like... 90% sure he spoke at least a little in Civil War and I wasn’t fully convinced that I could use a language with a cyrillic alphabet without fucking something up quite yet. German was a language I had never studied, but I had been around people studying it enough that I figured I had a grasp on the very most basic grammatical structures (the existence of diminutive, where the possessive adjectives go, the existence of gendered words, etc) and any large errors or cultural differences would be pretty easy to fix.... what a fool I was. That being said, I think he would absolutely use nicknames in other languages, especially if nicknames in a specific language meant a lot to his partner, like in your case!!!

Helmut Zemo is a romantic at heart, (you can quote me on this) and also probably has a large education, so like you said I could see him whipping out azal and azizam all the fucking time. Whispering one while cuddling, saying another as he sleepily hugs you from behind in the middle of making breakfast, shouting one as he greets you at the airport; he would absolutely incorporate them into day-to-day life. Anything to see you smile the special smile you give him whenever he says them. He would also ABSOLUTELY use nicknames meant for children to tease you. He’s a romantic first, but a snarky loveable bastard second, so if he was in a playful mood expect lots of nicknames meant for children, especially if you were struggling to do something like open a jar.

Basically, Zemo would happily embrace that part of you and your family (as he should) and would probably prefer to use Iranian terms of endearment because of the way they bring you joy. All of these were so incredibly sweet and I so appreciate you sharing this part of your culture with me <3

[luisa2swag]

Love me for me (2)

"If you're so great how come you don't know how to tie your shoes properly, doo-doo head ?" I shot back, taking a step closer with my chin up, finger pointing at his untied basketball shoes. Jungkook scoffed "why am I even here arguing with you? You sure talk a lot but you forget that your last name is Mcniplecocker. Thats an instant L"

he towered over you, chest looking larger than usual thanks to the tight white shirt that stuck to his body with sweat. Your eyes darted to his nipple and before he could even muster another insult, His nipples were firmly grasped between your thumbs and index fingers, twisting away with all your might.

Your lips tugged upwards in satisfaction when he let out a yell of surprise and pain.

"What the actual fuck?!" He backed away, freeing himself from your hands. You smirked "Now you know why my last name is Mcniplecocker. Because I twist nipples and I certainly do have a cock!"

You were shameless as you said theses words. Jungkook couldn't even bother thinking of something else to say other than "okay I'm leaving." As you watched him walk away from you in the empty classroom. You saw him turn the doorknob but he did not move.

Was he maybe going to say something?

The tugs at the door knob became more violent with each twist and you could see Jungkook losing patience. His shoulders slumped, "We're locked in."

"W-what?"

[THREE HOURS BEFORE BEING LOCKED]

"W-wow." You looked at the school in amazement, boxes in your hands, you watched as the other male students buzzled around campus with their parents and installed themselves into their dorms.

You didn't have the luxury of being here with your dad. Imagine one of the most wanted criminals in the past setting foot into a place filled with lawyers. Your plan would be immediately dead but most importantly, you'd be behind bars.

This school must of been as old as Harvard. The building resembled the ones they would teach about in history class -You know the medieval ages- only the inside had been done up.

They were the only University that didn't open its gates to every gender which only lured more male heirs from all over the planet.

Parents thought that no girls meant no distractions but what they failed to know was that in 2018,some boys didn't just like girls.

"Hey, do you want help? You seem lost.." startled at the sudden deep voice coming from your right side, you jumped a bit.

Turning around to take a look at who had the audacity to initiate a conversation with your lonely ass. To be completely honest, you had just been standing around, mouth agape, looking at boys passing you by.

Holy shit he's hot

Instantly, you felt blood rush to your cheeks, you hoped that he wouldn't notice. He stood tall compared to you, nose long and eyes almost rectangle-ish. The sun and the ore gold were both jealous of his heavenly skin. You watched as he ran a large hand through his chestnut hair.

"Uh-huh" was all you could muster. A frown draped itself on your features, realizing how dumb and un-dude-ish you just sounded. Maybe you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, nothing could prepare you to the fact that a freaking model would be here speaking to your thirsty ass.

"Are you perhaps looking for your dorm? I had tricky time finding mine too in my first year." His voice god his voice.

"Am Taehyung, by the way." He smiled, a smile so adorable you couldn't help but smile back too.

"Am Bob, yeah I think I need help."you smiled sheepishly, holding your box closer to your chest.

"Alright, ill need the number of your dorm."

"67-b"

"Ahhh, that's the law dorms. So you're a law student huh? So am I." He seemed excited. Long legs already taking the lead to find your dorm.

"Are you a third year student or ?" You asked, now entering the dorm you presumed to be yours.

"No, just a second year." He smiled.

You both walked in a comfortable silence until he stopped infront of a door. "67-b is here." He said with the nod of his head, leaning against the wall near the door.

"Do we usually have roommates?" You read that since it was such a prestigious and little school, they would give you your own room but you needed to be sure. You didn't want any surprises. "Yeah it'll just be you in there." He affirmed with his usual dashing smile.

"Official classes start in two days but if you want, you could still go check out the classrooms. There won't be any teachers so make sure you leave the door open or else you might be surprised."

"Oh okay." You didn't bother dropping your voice a couple octaves, sure that in the near future where you could be possibly drunk or inattentive, It'd royally fuck you up. You found it to be a better idea to stick to your normal low but warm voice and let the guys think that "oh, his voice sounds slightly feminine!"

You took a step back, hoodie floating around your body and hiding your womanly curves the best it could, you bowed slightly "thank you so much. I hope I'll see you around school!" You actually did hope to see him around .

Not only was he devilishly handsome but very sweet. You wouldn't mind spending time with him all while gawking at his beauty greater than the Greek gods. "If you want, in about three hours I'll be able to hang. I would've been available way sonner if it wasn't for the fact that we both need to unpack a little bit. We could meet up at your new law class? What do you say?" He pointed finger guns at you, only making you blush more.

Fuck he doesn't even know I am a girl and here I am blushing like a schoolgirl just because he invited me to hang out.

"I'd love to I-I mean yeah, that be cool dude." Awkwardly, you raised a fist in the air which he happily bumped. "Okay I'll be off now!"

And just like that, the chestnut haired boy was out of your feet with hop of his own. Leaving you to unpack with the sound of 90's music from your cellphone.

Your room was a decent size, a simple bed on the left with a desk on the right, a tiny kitchen area and out and down the hallways were the shared bathrooms.

You took out the basics, some clothes, toothbrush, the frozen goods your dad had cooked you and bedsheets. You'd finish up your room later,after seeing Taehyung.

Yeah, I'll do this as soon as I get back!

[thirty minutes before being locked]

Your room looked neat. There were still some boxes here and there but you promised yourself to unpack them as soon as you got back.

Now you had changed into a comfortable black t-shirt and joggers.You made sure to duck-tape your breast, of course.

You stepped outside, the sun hung lower but still shined and the wind blew, giving you a comfortable breeze. The other students also seemed to take this evening as a chance to explore the campus more.

You watched as two boys ran, almost bumping you on their way. The shorter one with plump lips turned and blurted a bunch of apologizes before his taller lean friend dragged him by the collar. "Cmon Jimin, we need to get him !" And they were gone, leaving you to wonder exactly who they were going to get.

You continued making your way to the class, eventually finding it.

It was spacious just like in the movies about college life. You quickly found yourself a the front where the teacher desk was but before that you made sure to keep the door open, starring into space and waiting for the young man. You heard foot-steps and a smile already adorned your features.

You turned around, waiting to be met with the chestnut haired boy but you were just met face to face with a chestnut haired boy, that wasn't your chestnut haired boy.

"Erm, sorry." You squirmed away as the buff boy with the angular nose reached to grab something behind you.

"Were you really trying to steal the notes professor had prepared for me?" He took out a sheet of paper almost out of thin air and you just stared in amazement until it hit you.

Hold on, did this guy just accuse me ?

"W-what? I didn't even know that was there. I don't even know who you are!" Brows twisted together in confusion, you couldn't help but dart your eyes to the paper and to his piercing gaze, examining me like a corpse.

I gulped when he crossed his arms over his chest, oblivious to his flexing, he stood about one head and a half taller than me.

"You're lying. Everyone knows me." He scoffed, confident in the words he spoke as I blinked away, still In confusion.

"Come again?" I tried, I really genuinely had no clue who this dude was. I mean yeah he's kinda cute or whatever but with an attitude like that, I don't see him having any friends.

"Of course you would play dumb, well you are dumb for trying to steal my notes. Maybe you should take the initiative like me and ask teachers to prepare you notes of everything you'll have to study for the semester." His thin upper lip twitched upwards, his eyes trailing over my body, probably judging.

"I wouldn't be so quick to judge lil punk, school hasn't even started yet and to inform you, i am the smartest student here, I don't need your bitchass notes to be able to catch up on class before class has even started."ooooh I burned his bunny looking ass!

A smirk adorned my full lips when I noticed the blush spread across his cheeks like wildfire. I watched as his confident facade slowly broke when he took a step back.

"I guess you really don't know me then, my name is Jeon Jungkook." Now he was the one with the smirk.

I deadpanned, "Uh, yeah I totally know you. Omg I cant believe I didn't realize sonner!" Arms crossed, I rolled my eyes.

"Think harder dumbass. Jeon Jungkook, doesn't that ring any bells?"

I thought hard, past all the cat memes, gta on PlayStation 2 cheat codes, my club penguin password, the pin of my first iPod. Past all the unnecessary things my brain stored I finally found what he has hinting.

All boys : Great Jeon University

It couldn't be, no .

Or could it be ? With my luck it could. His smile grew larger as he saw my eyes widen in shock. "Don't tell me this is some crappy wattpad plot where your family happens to own this school?" I already dreaded the answer I knew I would get. "Yes it is." His chest proudly rose.

"Well I couldn't care less , dumbass." I stated, indifferent.

"I just told you that my family basically owns this place and you don't give a shit?" Index pointed at my face, he asked dumbfounded. Not sure if my lack of respect for him should be a good thing or not. "You have a lot of guts for saying that to the great Jeon."

"If you're so great how come you don't know how to tie your shoes properly, doo-doo head ?" I shot back, taking a step closer with my chin up, finger pointing at his untied basketball shoes. Jungkook scoffed "why am I even here arguing with you? You sure talk a lot but you forget that your last name is Mcniplecocker. Thats an instant L" Your eyes twitched confused, how did he know your name? Then your orbs wondered down to your shirt who haired had gifted you as a joke with your fake name written just above your left tit.

he towered over you, chest looking larger than usual thanks to the tight white shirt that stuck to his body with sweat. Your eyes darted to his nipple and before he could even muster another insult, His nipples were firmly grasped between your thumbs and index fingers, twisting away with all your might.

Your lips tugged upwards in satisfaction when he let out a yell of surprise and pain.

"What the actual fuck?!" He backed away, freeing himself from your hands. You smirked "Now you know why my last name is Mcniplecocker. Because I twist nipples and I certainly do have a cock!"

[taehyung pov]

I don't remember the building being so far... I entered the law block, nothing but the sound of my sneakers against the wood floor could be heard. Hallways were clear and so was the sky this evening. I smiled thinking of the new friend I had made.

Pat pat pat I whipped my head around st the sudden running noise "Jimin? Namjoon?" My brows arched in confusion, I watched how they frantically started shouting my name.

I looked back to the front

The class where I had so kindly asked you to meet up with me was maybe twenty steps away

I couldn't just blow you off, no that wasn't something I'd want at all.

But with a blink of an eye and a stumbling Jimin, we we're passed the door and left behind a loud clacking noise. In fear of having accidentally closed the door shut, I twisted my neck to look back all while running with the two grown man looped around my arms. "J-Jimin, the d-door!" I let out breathless, heart thumping

"Guys -wait there's someone-" Jimin quickly interrupted "Yoongi snuck a girl on campus!" I looked back again, wishing that my gut feeling was wrong, wishing I hadn't just locked someone in a classroom.

She might be late, everyone comes late nowadays! I reassured myself.

With a aggressive tug of my sleeve from Namjoon, I realized that I didn't have a choice.

I'll come back later, I promise.

[Narrator pov] You were shameless as you said theses words. Jungkook couldn't even bother thinking of something else to say other than "okay I'm leaving." As you watched him walk away from you in the empty classroom. You saw him turn the doorknob but he did not move.

Was he maybe going to say something?

The tugs at the door knob became more violent with each twist and you could see Jungkook losing patience. His shoulders slumped, "We're locked in."

"W-what?"

[recurring-polynya]

Can we get some drabbles on Renji’s time with Squad 11 especially his interactions with Kenpachi and Yachiru? Obviously shenanigans with Ikkaku and Yumichika are welcome! Also, how did you think he was promoted to Squad 6 lieutenant? It’s safe to assume he applied (I can imagine his Squad 11 gang even helping him out with this) as that’s part of his “master Get-Back-Rukia plan” but moving from 6th seat to lieutenant is a leap and I imagine that Byakuya is super picky. Imagine his job interview!

I’ll do the meta part first.

#0. For starters, Renji spent 40 years reverse-engineering how to make Squad 6 Vice-Captain. He read every Teen Vogue profile on Byakuya, he clipped Byakuya’s unreadable etiquette column in the Bulletin, he studied Kuchiki military history, he hung out at Shirogane Ginjirou’s sunglasses shop and knew exactly when the guy planned to retire and got a bunch of spilled tea on Byakuya’s pet peeves, of which there are many. Byakuya is not exactly a complicated guy, it isn’t all that hard to figure out what the right answers to his interview questions are gonna be.

#1. I think there is an exam that qualifies you to be a vice-captain, and that Renji vastly over-prepared for it and got an extremely high score. Byakuya loves big numbers.

#2. There is a standard application for Vice-Captain that’s probably about 5 pages long. Renji’s application was 15 pages long. He included a personal essay and a long paean to how much he admired the principles of Squad 6. Byakuya loves Squad 6, and he loves a guy who is really enthusiastic about Squad 6.

#3. Renji is great in an interview. I headcanon that he and Rukia did a lot of con artistry back in Rukongai. Byakuya is a mark. Primarily, Renji gave him opportunities to pontificate, which Byakuya loves. Byakuya talked through 90% of Renji’s interview, and walked out feeling great.

#4. The only thing Renji had going against him was the reference section. Byakuya hates Zaraki and would go out of his way to avoid talking to him. Aizen was still salty that Renji left his squad, and tried to reverse psych Byakuya into not hiring him. (“Oh, I think he’d be an excellent second for you, Byakuya! He’s a bit impulsive, and I’m sure your influence would overcome some of that hotheadedness! His poor kidou skills shouldn’t be a problem, I’m sure you’ve got that covered yourself…”) Unfortunately for Aizen, Byakuya was already 80% on Team Renji and he realized Aizen was trying to play him, and Byakuya hates being played.

Job offer within 24 hours. Regrets came later.

I do a lot of shenanigans with Ikkaku and Yumichika, but not usually Kenpachi and Yachiru, so let’s try that for a change!

🗡️    💖   💪

“I have a Special Assignment for you, Abarai,” the Kenpachi grumbled.

Special Assignments could be anything, really. Running around dive bars in the upper Rukon, stapling up posters to advertise their next Recruitment Brawl. Delivering blotchy hand-written notes to Captain Unohana. Helping Zaraki set up elaborate obstacle courses that would then necessitate another Recruitment Brawl. The majority of Renji’s Special Assignments involved helping the captain get somewhere he needed to go. Zaraki was very good at getting lost, but Renji was exceptionally good at finding places. This worked out rather nicely, because there was almost always something interesting to fight in the places that Zaraki wanted to go, and the more Zaraki saw Renji fight, the more willing he was to bring him along.

“We goin’ somewhere, sir?” Renji asked hopefully.

Zaraki scratched his ass pensively. “Not today. C’mon in, I don’t wanna talk about it outside.” He let the way into what was occasionally jokingly referred to as his “office.” It was the place where Zaraki hung out and took naps during the day, in case anyone wanted to find him for fighting purposes. “Chisaka had to go to the Living World last week,” Zaraki explained, rummaging around in his kosode and pulling out a well-thumbed magazine. “She brought Yachiru back some manga she thought she would like.”

“That was nice,” Renji commented carefully. Giving gifts to Yachiru was nearly always an exercise in “no good deed goes unpunished.”

“Yeah, it went over real good,” Zaraki grumbled. “She liked it so much, she wants her hair done up like the kid in it.” He thrust the crumpled booklet at Renji. It was a girls’ manga, the kind with a lot of sparkles and girls in sailor suits. Zaraki poked a gnarled finger at a picture of a little girl with pink hair, twisted up into two little buns, with fluffy ponytails trailing down from them.

Renji rolled his eyes up towards his captain. “What the actual fuck, sir? Isn’t this more Ayasegawa’s department?” Zaraki didn’t like to be called ‘sir’ unless there was a profanity somewhere in the same sentence.

“Dammit, Abarai, I know you’ve let Ayasegawa do your hair. It takes him four fucking hours and he screams at you if you squirm. Yachiru can’t sit through that shit.”

Renji made an uncomfortable face. “Your hair always looks great, can’t you--”

“I tried! She doesn’t want me to use any gel, says it needs to be ‘fluffy’. How the hell are you supposed to do a hairstyle without gel, answer me that!”

“What makes you think I can do anything?” Renji finally whined.

“Look, I started at the top. Madarame ain’t got any hair, and Iba might as well not. You’re pretty fast, and you’re probably strong enough to hold her down, and at least you know how a ponytail holder works.” Zaraki sucked his teeth. “If you do it, I’ll fight you later.”

“Really?” Renji asked, his eyebrows shooting up. Zaraki didn’t usually feel that anyone below Ikkaku merited his time, and Renji jumped at every opportunity to convince him otherwise.

“Yeah, sure.” Zaraki flung open the door to the room where Yachiru sat, scowling, surrounded by an assortment of ribbons and barrettes. “I got help.”

“Wrong Way doesn’t know how to do hair!” Yachiru shouted.

Renji and Yachiru had an ongoing philosophical disagreement about the geography of the Seireitei. Yachiru had zero legs to stand on in this argument, but also, she was the one who came up with nicknames.

“He has a lot of hair,” Zaraki countered.

“That’s boy hair!” Yachiru returned. “It doesn’t count!”

“I… have done girl hair before,” Renji admitted, somewhat painedly. “Hair is hair!” He almost yelled “Gender is a construct!” because he had been reading some of the books Iba’s mom kept leaving in their room, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to explain what that meant. At this point, he just wanted to get this over with, preferably without getting kicked in the nose, which tended to happen a lot around Yachiru. “If you let me try, I’ll let you do my hair.”

Yachiru’s eyes went wide. “Really?”

“You can’t cut it, but sure. Whatever.”

Zaraki was looking over at him with something that might have been respect. “Do you know what you’re doing, you crazy bastard?” he mumbled.

“Absolutely not,” Renji replied.

🗡️    💖   💪

“They’re uneven, is all I’m saying,” Yumichika sniffed.

“I love them, he put extra ribbons on!” Yachiru howled, swinging her sheathed sword at Yumichika, who deftly ducked. The ribbons swung delightfully around the sides of her head.

“I’m honestly surprised there were any ribbons left,” Iba commented dryly.

“You can shut it, fucko!” Renji yelled. His hair was styled rather similarly to his vice-captain’s, except that his was in three (rather lumpy) buns, and his ponytails trailed more majestically. The curling iron had been a terrible idea overall, but the big, loopy curls at the ends of both Renji’s and Yachiru’s hair had definitely been worth all the burns.

Ikkaku rubbed his own bald pate. “I kinda like that look on him. 100 kan says it helps him fight better.”

“You’re on,” Iba agreed.

“What’s the hold up?!” Zaraki roared.

“Here I come!” Renji bellowed.

“Ganbatte, Wrong Way!” Yachiru cheered.

There was a loud crunch.

Ikkaku handed over the 100 kan. “It was worth a try.”

[liliesoftherain]

20 and 58 for Todoroki please !

20: “Wait a minute… Are you jealous?” 58: “Are you flirting with me?”

Ah this was cute, sorry about the wait! I’m a bit busy with finals coming up. I swear I’m about to fail chemistry and I’M CRYING.

 I guess this can be considered Todoroki x GN!Reader since I never specified gender, but anyways  ENJOY!

Shouto Todoroki!:

Todoroki let his eyes wander towards your form for the millionth time that day, and like every time he did, he felt his blood boil. He didn’t know why he was feeling this way, he really didn’t have a reason to feel-dare he say-angry? He was confused at the way his heart clenched as you threw your head back and touched his bicep. He caught Bakugou’s gaze and saw the smirk rise on the boys face as he threw an arm around your shoulders. 

He watched as your cheeks flush while you pushed Bakugou’s chest when he leaned down and whispered in your ear. You looked up and made eye contact with him and he looked away suddenly. His heart racing, why was he feeling this way? It was so sudden and painful. Why did he feel like someone was squeezing his heart with cold, bony hands.

He looked back towards you and saw as you wiggled out of Bakugou’s hold and walk towards your desk, which so happened to be right next to his. He looked away, hoping you didn’t catch his gaze, instead opting to look down at his backpack as he lifted onto his shoulder to leave.

“Hey Todoroki,” You greeted while grabbing your stuff and stood by him,”You did great during sparring lessons today. You’re one hell of a knockout!”  You smiled shyly, throwing a subtle pickup line that surely even this boy would understand.

“Thanks, you did pretty well yourself.” 

Guess not.

“Oh no, nothing compares to you-” He gave a smile at your praise. “And Bakugou! You guys are totally awesome.” 

His smile dropped. 

You were oblivious to his mood change, happily chatting next to him about all the students and their fighting capabilities. You felt like Midoriya for a second, and had to laugh at the thought.

Todoroki snapped out of his funk at your cute laughter and sighed.

“Yea, I guess you would think Bakugou is amazing.” His eyes widen a fraction before going back to normal, unable to figure out why he just said what he did.

You raised a brow.

“I mean, yea Bakugou is one of the best students in this course honestly. Besides you.” 

“Hm.”

“I mean it, Bakugou has an explosive power for sure, and can be pretty analytical when he wants to be but,” you grinned, “you’re pretty hot.” You were hoping that a more forward approach would help this dense boy realize you were flirting.

“Well, I mean I’m mostly cold. I prefer my right side” Todoroki responded.

You sighed internally, these kind of answers were nothing new to you.

“Well then you must be a 90 degree angle.”

“What?”

“Cause you’re looking right!” 

“Okay?” 

This boy was impossible, but that’s why you liked him. Before you could respond Bakugou came up behind you and grabbed your bag from you.

“Let’s go short stack before I leave you here.” 

You sent a glance at Todoroki who just stared at Bakugou with indifferent eyes. You frowned and nodded, walking off. A part of you wishing Todoroki would ask you to walk with him back towards the dorms. 

Todoroki kept his gaze unwavering as he stared straight into Bakugou’s eyes. He had the overwhelming urge to shove him away and be the one to hold your bag and walk you back to the dorms. Bakugou smirked once more before shaking your bag in his face, like he was showcasing his victory. Todoroki’s eyes snapped into a sharp glare, his demeanor breaking as he shoved his shoulder roughly against the others while he stocked off, making his way passed you and quickly disappearing.

You looked back at Bakugou with a brow raised.

“What was that?” 

Bakugou just shrugged, his present frown back on his face and he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“I told you IcyHot likes you, you’re the dumbass who doesn’t want to believe me.”

“W-why bring that up now-he could hear you!” You hissed out, cheeks growing dark at the thought of Todoroki listening in.

You walked next to him, who continued to pester you about your crush the entire walk back. It wasn’t an easy feat to befriend the explosive boy, but it was worth it. You enjoyed his friendship, hard edges and all. While everyone thinks you two are an item, you both try to shut down any rumors quickly. You had only ever thought of him as a brother, your heart was taken by a cute boy who never understood any of your pickup lines. It was frustrating to say the least, you wanted to know if he felt the same way or not. Bakugou’s insistence didn’t help ease your heart in the slightest. 

You caught the bag Bakugou threw at you, and you saw he glanced behind you. You went to turn around to see what he was looking at but he put his hands on your shoulders to keep you in place. You saw a smirk in place as he leaned in close to your face, you just had a bewildered expression on.

“Uh-” You heard a large smacking sound and whipped your head to see one of the chairs to the breakfast table on the floor, with Todoroki walking into the kitchen out of sight.

“Bakugou-”

“You’re an idiot.” He whispered softly and you bite your lip to keep the snarky remark you wanted to spit back at bay. Bakugou’s eyes were soft, even though his lips were still pulled in a thin line. “You need to get your head out of your ass and tell that dense bastard you like him, before I do it because this constant pining is fucking annoying.” 

“But what if he doesn’t..” You looked down. 

The squeeze on your shoulders made you look back into his eyes.

“IcyHot may be a low-class nobody, but he isn’t fucking blind. It seems you are though if you can’t tell how much he likes you.” He pulled away and crossed his arms, looking to the left where Todoroki disappeared. “Just go before I kick your ass.”

You felt hesitant but nodded anyways.

“Thanks Baku-bestie.”

“Call me that shit one more time and I’ll kill you and shitty hair for giving you those stupid names.”

“Whatever you say Baku-bro.” 

You ignored his yelling as you walked into the kitchen, your heart thumping as you saw the man of your dreams making tea.

“Hey Todoroki, are you okay?” You walked up and saw how his shoulders tensed before relaxing, if you weren’t paying attention to his broad back-when weren’t you-you would have missed it.

“Fine. Is there something you need.”

You swallowed a lump in your throat. If you had any ounce of a Casanova in you, now was the time.

“Did it hurt?”

“No? I mean the chair was the only thing that fell, I just didn’t have time to pick it up. I was craving tea you see-”

“When you fell out of heaven?” You cut off his rambling.

“What?” He blinked, finally looking straight at you to see the large blush across your cheeks as you played with your fingers.

“I uhm, I do need something actually. I need you to call the cops..”

“What’s wrong?” He grew concerned, looking at you up and down to see if you were alright.

“ Well because it’s illegal to look that good.” You pointed at him, then moved your hand to cup your chin as if you were deep in thought. “ Well maybe calling the cops wouldn’t be a good idea, you see I’m a thief and i’m here to steal your heart.”

He stared at you, conflicted emotions breaking through.

“(l/n).. Are you flirting with me?”

“I have been for the past two years but thanks for noticing.” You laughed shakily, still feeling nervous at the thought of being rejected.

“Why?” Was the only thing he could ask.

He didn’t understand it, you’ve been trying to flirt with him for 2 years?

“Why? Because… I like you Shouto..” You looked down at your fingers, blushing even more as his first name rolled off of your lips.

Todoroki felt his own face grow hot for the same reasons, until he frowned as he thought of the boy you were always hanging around.

“You’re always with Bakugou-” He spat out, and had to stop himself unless he wanted his flames to go off. He felt that same burning feeling in his chest at the thought of you two together. 

“Wait a minute… Are you jealous?” You questioned.

His eyes widened as he thought of his behavior and feelings. He was jealous. That explains his hurting heart, and the current distaste he held for the other boy. 

“I.. I suppose I am.” He admitted after a moment of silence.

“Shouto Bakugou and I are just friends. I can’t even imagine us together, that’s pretty disgusting.”

He blinked, unable to think.

Your anxiety rose the longer he was quiet and your fidgeting grew worse. He noticed and grabbed your hands to stop yourself from tearing your fingers off.

“(y/n).. I’m sorry. I should have realized sooner but…” You smiled at his blushing face.

“It’s okay, I should’ve told you outright sooner, since I guess you don’t know what cheesy pick up lines are.” You puffed out your cheeks.

“I know what they are, you’re just bad at them.”

You gasped and yanked a hand away to slap his chest.

“How rude! My pick up lines are actual gold! You just aren’t a connoisseur of perfection apperently.”

“I know you’re perfection.” 

His words made you speechless, his small smile even more so. Your heart was thumping so loud you swore he could hear it loud and clear. 

“Shouto..”

“Go out with me.” He spoke, his hushed voice sending goosebumps up your arms.

“Okay.” 

His smile stayed on his face as he turned to take care of the ringing tea kettle as it broke you out of your trance. You watched as he grabbed another cup and made you one. You brought it up to your lips to hide the smile of your own.

You spent the rest of the day getting to know each other better while trying, and failing, to get some studying in. 

Yea, even if your pick up lines weren’t the best, Todoroki would listen to them forever if that meant you would be happy. 

[pochapal]

rank every year of the 2010s from best to worst i want some pochapal lore

[warning for discussion of my fucked up mental health and my myriad traumas. we’re really opening the pandora’s box here gang]

ok time for me to overshare on the internet again! super long post because i can’t shut up and you asked for it. anyway, by objective ranking: 

#1: 2012 - halcyon era, my personal peak. spent the whole year writing hunger games oc fics with my deviantart fanfiction besties whom i still think about all the time and always hope are having the best possible day. if you were here for this era understand i still hold you so closely and dearly in my heart <3. 

#2: 2013 - god i was such a good example of a human being back then. was the year my writing like actually took off and i had a healthy balance between creative stuff and a social life (said social life consisting of spending lunchtimes at school breaking into classrooms and discussing fandom shit with five other people. reading homestuck updates in the music room on one person’s really shaky mobile data...legendary). highlight of the year and maybe my life was in the april of 2013 when i got out of failing to submit a hard deadline essay by telling my english teacher i wrote a whole novel over the two week break and then producing said novel. god i wish i had that level of like. fucking confidence back me back then knew what i wanted and how to get it. 

#3: 2010 - the last year of childhood. i was 12 and played pokemon all the time with my friends and went places and had a moderately successful youtube channel and it didn’t matter that i was bullied so badly at school because i was basically high off life. summer of 2010 was so good specifically. i’d used to get the bus with a friend and go see movies and break into historical sites and get into normal childhood mayhem and maxed out my pokewalkers twice a month and i was buzzed because i had two (2) whole friendship groups to choose from and that was such a huge deal to me the terminal social outcast. it was so simple and carefree and even though everything and everyone involved in this era grew up to suck except for one specific person i kinda really miss it.

#4: 2018 - this was the first year i wasn’t depressed to the point of nonfunctioning. it was 20gayteen, i was on antidepressants, i was as close to thriving as i got at uni (going into town with people once a week, attending art and culture events, getting good grades across the board), i started to write for fun again, i got my cat whom i love dearly, i was exhibited in my uni’s city’s literature festival, GOD i actually nearly attended a pride event that year can you imagine. this year was basically my life’s second peak. miss getting the 8am train and daintily sipping on a cherry coke to keep me from passing out. wish this time could have lasted longer.

#5: 2019 - kinda absolute middle of the road year not for lack of anything happening but because the overwhelming amount of good and bad things cancelled each other out. so like there’s the fact that i was at the top of my uni game this year, was basically making the first steps into a professional writing career (covid i will never forgive you for killing all that dead </3), finally saved up enough to buy myself a gaming pc, and the summer after the homestuck epilogues, but equally 2019 was the start of the Pochapal Gender Fiasco which is by far the most horrible thing i am still currently undergoing and i burnt myself out mentally about halfway through the year (being stuck overnight in a hospital for a panic attack absolutely horrible horrible irredeemable) and then got like super death plague flu that i was sick with for three months (literally recovered less than a month before rona hit. god’s cruel karma.). so like...it kind of averaged out? the good shit was good but not as great as other years and the bad shit was awful but nowhere near as terrible as it could have been. gotta give a shoutout to 90% of my current mutual cohort for following me in 2019...omelette route gang make some noise !!

#6: 2014 - oof. this year essentially marked the start of a four year long downward mental health spiral because everything fell into awful alignment. i’d just turned 16, finished secondary school, had all my friends up and ditch me at once, was home alone for a whole summer, and was hit with Sudden Intense Body Image Issues that i couldn’t explain until uh. after very recent developments lmao. this one goes out to the me of july 2014 who did nothing but lay in bed and listen to the same two marina albums on a loop because fuck i’m attracted to men and also my facial and body hair are really starting to come in and if i think about this for too long i will literally kill myself because oh god i can’t handle getting older which is clearly and definitely the issue going on here. my brain fucking broke super hardcore and it’s a miracle that an overeating disorder was like the worst thing i walked away with. 

#7: 2015 - downward spiral year two!! i was so volatile this year it was such a mess. i was totally socially isolated after a brief stint of falling in with a group of people at the start of my first year of sixth form until january where in quick succession a) it turned out every single one of these people was friends with the person who sexually assaulted me whom i obviously had a lot of complicated feelings towards and b) baby’s first crush came out as bisexual but in the “women and also trans women” kind of way which tore me up so terribly in ways i couldn’t begin to understand. no words for the experience of seeing a girl kiss a boy and crying so hard at night you threw up because you could never be her no matter how much you wanted it. actually kinda get the sense what was going on there was bigger than just some crush lmao. then after that i was so mentally ill i basically attended school less than half the time and it was the only year in my life i failed my exams. i ended up having to resit my entire set of first year a level exams because jesus christ was i in such a bad way it was a miracle i even showed up to them. all i did was either have anxiety attacks or enter bedbound depressive slumps for weeks at a time. but it’s okay because it gets worse.

#8: 2016 - downward spiral act iii: the spiralling. prefacing this by saying that i actually had two whole good months (april - may) in that i was functioning enough to do my exams and finish school with decent grades. the rest was super extra mega terrible. my school attendance for year 13 dipped below 65% and literally the only thing that kept me from being kicked out was the fact that i was naturally smart at the subjects i took and also because the school would have a lot to answer for after letting me get to that state despite having a hefty file on how damaged i was. keep in mind every single part of this was fully untreated btw - i was just floundering around and letting it all fester. i spent three solid weeks going to school but locking myself in the bathroom all day every day and having mental health episodes then going home like nothing else happened only to continue the breakdown that night. then things got kicked into fucked up overdrive when i moved out to uni and was cut off from what little support structures i did have. it was so bad all i did was cry all the time and never went anywhere to the point where three separate sources recommended me to the wellbeing and crisis counselling service that i stopped going to after two sessions because i was fucked up in ways cbt techniques could not even touch. at least i tried to make an effort for the first two months of uni which like. good for me?

#9: 2017 - what lieth at the base of the spiral. helltrench year. i was at literal rock bottom. i stopped going to class, i didn’t hand in a single piece of work. i lied to my parents and would book trains each day only to go back to my student flat and sit there and contemplate suicide. like i would just slump on the floor in a catatonic state and vividly contemplate one of four or so ways i could end my own life. i only didn’t because i wanted to wait until the summer to collect my last student loan and transfer it to my parents as an apology for my death which obviously didn’t end up happening. honestly i can’t remember much of the first half of 2017 that’s how bad it was. i remember taking a gender studies class and the teacher made it Weird that i was the Only Male Student in the room and then she sent me a scolding email after i walked out halfway through a class and never returned. apparently i got into a lot of online discourse in this year but i don’t remember anything other than being put on a blocklist by the milkfic author over ace discourse which is funny if you have the context. mostly i just baited terfs and weirdo freaks to get them to say horrible things to me as what i guess amounts to some kind of digital self harm. anyway breaking point came in late august when i got kicked out of university and then nobody could ignore it any more so there was no choice left but for me to seek out help and recover enough to function which luckily i did. i really Do Not remember 2017. you could tell me anything about that year and i’d probably believe you.

#10: 2011 - extra circle of hell for this little fucked up gem of a year. on the surface it wasn’t actually that terrible, until the Summer 2011 Domino Effect Of Bad Shit. up until like may/june it was a pretty all right year! i was 13 and had a surprisingly successful youtube channel uploading pokemon soundfont remixes to an audience of i think ~350-400 subscribers at my peak? anyway then i got hit with the early summer triple combo of childhood friends moving away, cute and quirky sexual assault at the hands of a person in my friend group, and then having some Really Great and Super Appropriate interactions with adults on deviantart. like obviously there’s the actual ptsd-inducing event which totally disrupted and killed the person i was right up until that moment and reshaped every facet of my life for better or worse (there’s an alternate timeline where that didn’t happen and i got into electronic music and/or coding instead) but really it’s the events that followed in its wake which were kind of more fucked up. so like all of a sudden i was super aware of my body and me growing my hair out and being mistaken for a girl in class suddenly became this Less Innocent thing and i ended up spending hours overnight going to transgender questioning forums and looking up hrt timeline videos and having the wikipedia article on tracheal shaving saved because it was a life raft to me whose voice was imminently gonna deepen and i was simultaneously reeling with constant trauma flashbacks and the whole thing was so so fucked up. then i was on deviantart and i don’t remember exactly how but a small group of furry guys ten to fifteen years older than me started messaging me and encouraging and requesting me to produce nonsexual fetish stuff for them and talking to me about stuff like if i’d ever thought about growing up to be gay and i didn’t think anything of it for a long while because they called me a very talented writer and it felt so good to have someone be nice to me after being so alone and isolated for months on end. anyway the only reason i got out of that before it got bad was because they invited me to one of the big furry sites and i was weirded out because i thought it was a porn site and thinking about sexual stuff was a huge trauma trigger so i just ended up blocking them all and pretending like it didn’t happen. at the time half this shit didn’t bother me but in retrospect holy fuck 2011 was such a damaging year. to think if like three events didn’t happen i wouldn’t be the fucked up mess you see before you today.

god fuck this turned out super long but i’m not apologising because this was a therapeutic exercise for me and also constitutes as one of the biggest pochapal lore dumps of all time. come get your food or whatever.

[ageofevermore]

1-96

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

it’s a dual sliding door, so usually one sides open. but preferably, both doors are closed. 

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

sometimes in the summer, not often though. 

(3) Can You Whistle?

yes! 

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

well for some reason there’s a guy on my TV singing God Bless The USA

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

purple

(6) Relationship Status.

single because my favorite omegle guy won’t answer me 

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

48F / 9C

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

i woke up wishing i was still asleep

(9) How Many Followers?

835

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Sun: Capricorn, Rising: Aries, Moon: Aquarius 

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

brown / hazel 

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

no

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

obviously, i’m not completely insane

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

whatever fucking book my english class assigned...

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

i literally only have a text book by me and opening it is triggering

(16) Favourite Anime?

i don’t watch anime

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

my mom...about greys anatomy...but still my mom about christmas and my birthday. i cry alot, but i like REALLY cried about those two topics

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

chapstick, trauma, candles 

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

it’s only 10am and i haven’t even thought about breakfast 

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

yes, and then my mom yells at me because i do nothing “subtly” and the entire car shakes

(21) Favourite Animal?

white siberian tigers, snow leopards, dolphins, and now elephants

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

unfortunately. i love gymnastics, but like, i’m not trying to watch men in toboggans and swim caps 

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

anywhere between 12pm and 3am

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

no, i never wear makeup because it makes me look more ugly

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

ocean

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

besides my friends i don’t really have a favorite blog, i stick to my circle and don’t venture very far 

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

bottled. 

(28) What Makes You Happy?

i couldn’t tell you...

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

without, but i always start with it on. it never lasts more then two songs.

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

dogs

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

a shade of purple from the crayola 200 pack

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

wii

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

ocean

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

hell mothering fucking year i do baby, lets take that train to hogwarts 

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

its a friends pj crop, so black and white stripped with the central perks logo

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

yup

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

save money 

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

my cup 

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

stranger things ig

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

no, those assholes scare me, but i’ve grown + released them 

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

um chile, i would follow my best friend off a cliff with no hesitation

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

all the fucking time 

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

ITS MY FAVORITE FORM OF TRAVEL 

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

the hannah montana movie

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

peanuts 

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

one direction 

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

yes 

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

yes, but it takes me forever to fall asleep 

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

yea, depends on the day and the level of scardy bitch i feel like being 

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

i love both 

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

hell yeah, let me feel the beat in my kidneys 

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

carve pumpkins 

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

no tears left to cry by ag

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

fall

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?

a churro + peppermint mocha frap

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

female (she/her)

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

iced coffee / sweet tea

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

yeah, i have environmental homework and US I homework and Algebra II homework

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

bruh, idk 

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

no, that shit’s never made 

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

jigglypuff 

(64) Favourite Social Media?

pintrest 

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

they’re okay

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

no. i don’t miss thins very easily, i’m away from home for a week and i have no doubt that i could spend the rest of my life without going back. 

(67) Are You A Virgin?

yes sir

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

idk, some really thick and heavy in hydration set 

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

sleep in my car, though both options scare me 

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

i have a strained relationship with my bio dad, but unfortunately i still have to associate myself with him a few times a year 

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

black widow or spiderman 3, but i’m willing to see anything just take me back! 

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

i’ve never had an ex, but i do wish krystian would stop ignoring me. stupid scotland boys 

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

“friends dont lie”

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

green / brown 

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

i loved swinging, but a few years ago it started making me dizzy so i don’t swing very often anymore. but tire swings especially are my shit 

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

chicken flavored ramen 

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

yes 

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

yeah...because they’re dying and if i have the skills to save them...why wouldn’t i?

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

honey, i do full virtual high school. we stan a pandemic (we don’t)

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

social media stalker is my middle name. not anymore though, i haven’t been asked to find a boy in a while 

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

no. i hate it. anxiety city man. 

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

i don’t wear rings, but i really want to.

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

closed

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

woke up, watched stranger things, made ramen 

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

whatever i fall asleep in. 

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

are beauty and skincare the same? because i don’t own much makeup. 

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

i used to be a night person. but this pandemic has hit hard with depression and i’ve become a stay in bed all day person

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

2048 balls, among us, ball sort puzzle, bubble shooter, bubble sort, color roll 3D, drag n merge, fit and squeeze, hole.io, mario kart, match 3D, nonogram.com, paint the cube, roof rails, solitare, spit, stacky dash, stair run, timber run...

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

After my moms fiance died, I had a dream that he was able to come see my fifth grade play (he died just before it happened) and when we were walking out he got into the white car from fast and furious (we watched the movies together) and said he would see me again soon, then he drove off...like talk about weird 

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

rootbeer 

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

i like a good clicking sound 

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

sweats everyday all day 

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

like a fucking wreck 

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

netflix 

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

i want a bunch of little symbols, and i think it would be cute if i got a T for my mom, but i can’t tell her that because she might think i’m going soft and exploit my show of affection (jfc why am i like this lmao)

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

colleen ballinger 

[ruby-zizes]

INTRODUCING: RUBY ZIZES

{ barbie ferreira fc, cisfemale, she/her } - hey look it’s { ruby zizes }!! i heard they are { 18 } and a { senior } in { high school }!! someone also told me that they are {+intelligent, +bold } and { -self-conscious, -sensitive } but it could be just a rumor!

BASICS

Full Name: Ruby Jane Zizes Nickname: N/A Birthday: November 29 Age: 18 Sign: Sagittarius Hometown: Lima, OH Sexuality: Fluid Education: Senior @ WMHS Occupation: Receptionist @ Hummel Tires & Lube

LIKES/DISLIKES

Likes: astrology, 90s pop music, smoking weed, hitting her juul, having sex, sending nudes, getting As on tests, challenges, chocolate covered strawberries, second chances, first impressions, bath bombs, luxury, shots of espresso, comedy podcasts, girl power

Dislikes: slut shaming, toxic masculinity/femininity, frigidness, ignorance, pretentious people, people who don’t tip well, organized religion, watching sports on TV, waking up early, jealousy, losing her temper

TL;DR BIO

Someone leaked Ruby’s nudes when she was a sophomore and sent them to her parents. This got her kicked off the cheerios. Everyone thinks she’s a huge slut and gives her shit for it, so she mostly keeps to herself—aside from her hook-ups, of course. She’s incredibly smart and graduating at the top of her class, but no one really knows that because they can only see her for her past mistakes. She got into Yale and plans on attending in the fall.

FULL BIO

Ruby Jane Zizes was born on November 29 to Lauren and Dave Zizes — and yes, her dad took her mom’s last name. Lauren explained that because she was the bread winner of the family, it made sense that he would take after her and not the other way around. This laid the groundwork for Ruby’s upbringing. Her foundation was built on the fact that girls were just as good and smart and strong as their male counterparts, if not more. With a headstrong mother like Lauren Zizes, Ruby learned quickly to take no shit and never to shrink at the hands of anyone.

Despite her extremely confident demeanor, Ruby still struggled with her body image growing up. She learned quickly that it didn’t matter how much your parents loved you or how much you loved yourself—if the world didn’t love you, eventually it would break you down. But through every self-conscious and self-deprecating spell she went through, she found ways to pull herself out. Ruby knew she had value. She was incredibly bright and quick witted, she was funny, and she was compassionate and kind and fun. She knew there was so much about her to love. 

But the desire to be desired never went away. Once puberty hit and Ruby’s body filled out, she knew she didn’t look like all of her thin, petite friends. She was determined to prove to herself and to everyone that she didn’t need to be those things in order to be wanted and sexy. So when she got to high school, she maintained her perfect GPA, joined the cheerios to prove that someone like her could, and leaned into her sexuality without shame. What did that look like? Well, for Ruby, it meant taking pictures of herself naked and sending them to anyone who gave her the time of day. It meant sneaking around and hooking up under the bleachers or in someone’s car or in the janitor’s closet. She loved the rush she felt whenever she had a new conquest and the satisfaction of walking away from them after the deed was done knowing she had rocked their world.

Sending nudes when you’re sixteen isn’t smart, and Ruby learned that the hard way when her pictures started spreading to the students at McKinley high like wild fire. It bothered her when it started to happen, but it wasn’t the end of the world until someone sent the pictures to her parents. She was wrapping up her sophomore year of high school when it happened and the fallout was insurmountable. She was grounded for the entire summer, no phone or computer or hanging out with friends, and she was swiftly kicked off the cheerios for lewd behavior. 

When she returned to McKinley for her junior year, everything was different. For the first time in her life, she felt deeply ashamed. Girls hated her because their boyfriends had sexted her or looked at her photos. Boys didn’t take her seriously because they all viewed her as the town bicycle. Teachers felt bad for her or judged her. That year was easily the worst of her life socially, but her best academically. She was already effortlessly smart, but with the newfound time on her hands, she was able to double down on her studies. 

Despite her outstanding grades and being the top of her class, Ruby never got her reputation back. Part of that was probably because she also never really stopped doing any of the things that got her in trouble in the first place. She kept sexting and sending nudes and being reckless with her hook-ups because why not? What else did she have to lose? It also didn’t help that she got a job as the receptionist at Hummel Tires & Lube, a place that was typically crowded with men. They rumors people spread about her giving “roadside assistance” weren’t all true, but it didn’t matter. None of it was out of the question, so mostly people believed it.

In her final year of high school, Ruby mostly kept her head down and continued doing well in school and at work. She was numb to the gendered slurs people hurled at her in the hallways and she just tried to stay focused. She never joined any other clubs after she got kicked off the cheerios and never really made any new friends outside of her very intimate, close circle. She occasionally went to parties and participated in things here and there, but she knew what everyone thought about her. She tried to let it roll off her back and kept her eyes on the prize — she was graduating as valedictorian and in the fall, she’d be headed to Yale where no one would know about her past and whatever bad decisions she made in high school. She’d get her fresh start and be done with it. 

Until then.

[hiiggsmonaghan]

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 910 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 1920 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 2930 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 3940 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 4950 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 5960 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 6970 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 7980 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 8990 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99

Are you fuckin’ kidding me--?

Alright, I’ll answer them ALL. 

1. Name: Higgs Monaghan Silver/Silvio

2. Nationality: Canadian/Acadian

3. Age: 22

4. Birthday: July 19th 

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign): Cancer

6. Gender: cis male

7. Sexuality: Gay

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself):  This will have to wait until a special reveal. (Future cosplay things.)

9. What do you/did you study?: ... Does Egyptian history count?

10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have?: [Nervous laughter] I have no idea what I’d like to do for a job. 

-

11. Your birth order: First child

12. How many siblings do you have?: 1 “real” sibling, but so many siblings by bond.

13. Do you have good relations with your family?: Biological family? Absolutely not. Except for two of my cousins. They are cool.

14. How many friends do you have?: Too many that it’s obnoxious. [Just kidding, I appreciate you all.]

15. Your relationship status: Taken/Engaged

16. What do you look for in a SO?: Someone who can kick my ass. [Who can handle my anger outbursts]

17. Do you have a crush?: No. 

18. When did you have your first kiss?: When I was 14. It was forced and was a terrible experience. 

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?: Meaningful ones, funny enough.

20. What are your deal breakers?: Overly clingy, too loud, not respectful of my music choices

-

21. How was your day?: Cold. Snowstorm happened today.

22. Favourite food & drink: Pizzas/cheeseburgers || Strawberry slushie with tapioca pearls/orange juice

23. What position do you sleep in?: Fetal position. [Hahahah... ha.]

24. What was your last dream about?: Cannot remember.

25. Your fears: The ocean [drowning], deep forests.. uhh... There are others but I cannot think of it at the moment

26. Your dreams: To be on my goddamn motorcycle, livin’ a good life without my mental illness in the way.

27. Your goals: See above.

28. Any pets?: Not yet! Planin’ to get a black cat soon!

29. What are your hobbies?: Music and readin’

30. Any cool places in your area?: Pfft, no. It’s so fuckin’ boring here.

31. What was your last awkward situation?: I was at Tim Horton’s and there was a baby cryin’ behind me so I looked over at it and played... peek-a-boo with them. It was...weird. But at least the baby shut up. The mother didn’t do shit to make the baby stop cryin’ so.. Great Parenting.

32. What is your last regret?: Well too many to really talk about but I’ll go with the funny route and my last regret was not goin’ to Burger King yesterday and eatin’ salad instead of a burger. 

33. Language/s you can speak: English

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.): Not really. It’s all just whatever for me.

35. Have any quirks?: I bite my nails often... I pretend to conduct music while it is playing... uh...???

36. Your pet peeves: Everything.

37. Ideal vacation: Anywhere away from North America.

38. Any scars?: Many. 

39. What does your last text message say?: “Nah”

40. Last 5 things from your search history: Twitter, Vargskelethor’s twitch, Cloud Strife, YouTube, FF7 remake release date

41. What's your [device] background?: RK900 from Detroit Become Human

42. What do you daydream about?: Usually having super strength and throwing people whom bother me across the world or just... punchin’ them. 

43. Describe your dream home: A  simple house, really. Nothin’ too fancy. Just the idea of havin’ my own house? Even if it isn’t that big or anythin’... That is a dream for me. Oh, and I want it painted black. Hah.

44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion: I’d say I’m atheist but... I do believe in God. I AM God. :)

45. Your personality type:  ISTP-T

46. The most dangerous thing you've done: [Looks at the list of dangerous things I have done] ... There are too many

47. Are you happy with your current life?: At the moment? Yeah. There are things I am still angry about but it’s... fine.

48. Some things you've tried in your life: Smoking. Drawing. Singing. Writing. Playing the guitar. ???

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?: Black and reds. 

50. Favourite colour to wear?: Black.

51. How would you describe your style?: Goth/punk

52. Are you happy with your current looks?: Eh.. Not really but it’s all I got.

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?: Grow. Damn. Facial. Hair. Holy FUCK.

54. Any tattoos or piercings?: Snake bites. But I took one out so only one lip piercing now. And tattoos? Soon. Very soon. [Gonna be Higgs’ themed, baby.]

55. Do you get complimented often?: No and when I do I make it Stop. I hate it. Never compliment me. 

56. Favourite aesthetic?: Black/gold aesthetics as of late.

57. A popular trend that you dislike: Everything. I hate them all.

- [FINALLY THE ONES I WANTED, JESUS CHRIST]

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with?:  Allesfresser by LINDEMANN 

It’s a great song to listen to for me because I just punch my punching bag to this song. Makes my anger just... go away. It’s fuckin’ nice.

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like: .... Let’s Dance by David Bowie

I am a new fan of David Bowie. It just literally started in July or late June. I’m the typical metal head but for some reason Bowie just caught my ear? I dunno, man.

60. Favourite genre?: METAL. Well, Power Metal. I love all sorts of metal except for like.. most death metal/black metal. It is too much for me sometimes. But yeah, if yall are into metal... I’m all ears. I love talkin’ about metal.

61. Favourite artist/band/genre?: Well I already spoke about my favorite genre. For favorite bands? God... Uh.. I have a list here of favorite bands/musicians. Check it out if you’re interested. 

62. Hated popular songs/artists?: Honestly? I’m gonna be one of those guys and say pretty much everything on the radio these days. I don’t like pop/rap and all the most popular stuff. Turning the radio on is ear torture these days. Except for the rock channel, that one is okay most of the time.

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5:

1 - System of a Down’s Chop Suey in the Style of Ghost by Ten Second Songs

This guy is simply AMAZING. If yall haven’t already, you NEED to check out his channel. He is wicked talented and he has different styles for different songs. Like for example, Metallica’s Enter Sandman in the style of David Bowie. It’s amazing. 

Check him out. His YouTube is Ten Second Songs.

2 - City by Hollywood Undead

This one just gives me my inner Higgs’ vibes. That is really all I can say.

3 - Mein Teil by Rammstein

4 - Cars by Fear Factory

5 -  龍が如く極 - Turning Point [From Yakuza Kiwami]

Yeah, hi. Yakuza fan here. Do I have to say any more? 

64. Can you sing or play any instruments?: I can kind of sing, [very badly, mind you] and sort of play the guitar. I’m tryin’ to learn Come as You Are by Nirvana at the moment... but that’s about it

65. Do you like karaoke?: 

.... Yes. My inner Nishiki in me just cannot lie about this.

66. Own any albums?: Absolutely. I am a firm believer in albums rather than just buying them digitally. I love having an actual copy in my hands rather just on the computer. 

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations?: Not really. I only listen to the rock station.

-

68. Favourite movie/series?: Star Wars.

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc: Uhhh... I don’t know

70. Your fictional crush/es: Sam Fuckin’ Porter Bridges, General Hux, RK900...

71. Which fictional character is you?: [Chuckles nervously] 

Higgs Monaghan-- 

Too many to write down. I’ll just pass myself the trouble.

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so: Eh not really. Only like.. Gavin/RK900 [Reed900] and General Hux/Kylo Ren [Kylux/Huxlo]

73. Favourite greek god?: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? I don’t know?

74. A legend from where you live that you like: None.

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist?: I’m gonna be cheesy and say all of my friends because it’s true. I love my friends art.

76. Can you share your other social media?: Yeah sure. My twitter is @hiiggsmonaghan

77. Favourite youtubers?: Markiplier, Jacksepticeye... Streamers: Vargskelethor and Vinesauce

78. Favourite platform?: Tumblr and Twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet?: .. Too long

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite?: Ones I have PLAYED that are my favorite: Pokemon, Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy XV, Yakuza 0/Kiwami. 

I also have a lot a games I love that I just watched. Like a lot of Legend of Zelda games and of course Death Stranding!

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts): Anything really by William Blake. I guess that really isn’t a “book” but.. all I really read are poems, Shakespearean plays and Egyptian history books.

82. Do you play board/card games?: No

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?: No

84. Favourite holiday: Halloween

85. Are you into dramas?: Not really.

-

86. Would you use death note, if you had one?: ABSOLUTELY. And I do have one. Well... a replica. Not the real one of course.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?: Get rid of the racists, rapists, pedos and homo/trans phobes. The world would just be more pleasant to live in, yeah?

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?: Probably. Because I stay inside a lot anyway.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?: A demon because I am that fuckin’ edgy.

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?: VOID OUT, BITCH. Uh, I don’t know. 

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?: I did change my name so I am happy with it. 

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week?: Uh.. No one. Can that be an option?

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo: The devil smiling one I guess?

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

1. I am in a poly relationship while I am also engaged.

2. I have a knife collection

3.I still used an mp3 instead of using my phone for music

-

95. Cold or hot?: ... Cold because you can get warm with blankets and sweaters while if you are hot, it’s damn impossible to not be hot.

96. Be a hero or be a villain?: Hero in my eyes, but to all of you I’m the villain for some DAMN reason.

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?: Sing I guess. Imagine singing in metal. Holy SHIT

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?: CONTROLLING TIME.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?: Immune to everything. I’m sick of being sick.

====

And there you have it. I’m... fuckin’ DONE. This took literal HOURS, ANON. I hope yall read through this.

[ldybluerse]

My Heart and Head Hurt.

So Very, Very Much

I am Asexual. I like cuddling, kissing, loving touches, I even love to make inappropriate sex jokes. Okay, I can make some pretty lewd sex jokes but that’s what happens when like 90% of your friends for the past ten years identify as pansexual. I just don’t feel sexual attraction and I am mostly repulsed by sex (ehhh it’s too much to explain).

At the first of the year, I moved to Texas from Michigan. Leaving behind all my friends, which with the internet isn’t terrible... but also my friends are shit at peopling on the Internet. Not angry or blame, they all have depression and anxiety. I get it. Just saying it’s hard to pretty much completely lose that connection with my friends. My friends are also the type where we would all pile into my bed and watch videos while cuddling with each other and my dogs. They spent so much time caring for me after my surgeries.

Being handicapped, and still learning how to live with it (it’s a relatively recent thing and takes relearning how to live life in a way that works for your limitations) I live with my parents. They are great but... they have their own mental health issues that really fucked me up as I grew up. It means that I don’t feel like I can open up or talk to them about anything because of what happened back then. I love them and I know they would do anything for me, but it’s just this thing I have. Heck, I have trouble opening up to my therapist for a long time. My therapist, who I also had to leave in Michigan. And Texas Medicaid? Kind of non-existent. Plus, I’m too old for my parents to be taking care of me, you know western standards and all, so I can’t have insurance through them.

Basically, I ran out of some of my medicine months ago, which means I live in near constant pain too. I can’t go see a therapist, because I can’t afford it. I haven’t run out of my depression medication yet, so there is that.

Since my accident (I will do another post on that later, because that will take a while), I haven’t been able to work. The accident was in December 2011, since 2013, I have had ten surgeries. I started back to school because it doesn’t seem like I’ll ever be up for any type of manual labor. But it also means I feel useless because physically I’m limited and mentally I am so fucked up I can’t do what I can handle doing. I graduated with my Bachelor (really proud of) but Texas has some different requirements that will add a lot of time towards getting my Masters, because Michigan didn’t have those requirements. This means I am going to enroll in an accredited online program, hopefully. Have to get accepted, fingers crossed.

To summarize, for ten months I have been isolated in a different state, dealing with body trying to adjust to different weather and medicine changes. Self isolation isn’t helping but the other problem is when I do reach out, there isn’t someone there...

Background info done, now to what’s troubling me:

My best friend and girlfriend is also Asexual. We’ve been together for almost eight years, but it’s always been long distance (we’re Ace, it doesn’t bug us too much) and I have gone to visit her. We started “talking” through Role Play and until recently, whenever there was lulls in life when a lot wasn’t happening, we could lean back on the Role Play to stay connected. There wasn’t a day when we didn’t talk to each other, even during the hospital visits we both went through, we stayed connected in some small way. And we talked about everything and anything. Our fandoms didn’t always match up, but it was fun listening and learning... I thought...

She was dealing with a lot of stuff, and for a few years was out of work, probably why she had so much time and energy for me. It was really bad for her for a while, where she even verbally attacked me on a few occasions. I know it wasn’t her but her mental illness, so I forgive her for it. But it was bad.

She was raised super Christian (DONT celebrate Halloween because it’s evil type Christian), and she has always been Christian even if she yelled at God a lot in her low days. Yeah, the good Christian girl is dating the Goth Pagan Celtic Witch... whatever you will call me. I’ve been Pagan for about 2/3rds of my life by now, so it’s not like she didn’t know she I was one. She’s never tried to shame or convert me.

My Bachelor is in Religious Studies, I know how good a religion can be for someone’s mental health if they are religious. I would talk to her about rekindling her faith. Finding a church she could at least go sit and listen to, so she could reconnect. She did! And it’s been amazing for her mental health. She has held a steady job for a while, actually is the poster child for the program that helped her move foreword and get her life back in order. I am so very proud of her and I do love her so much.

I just think... she’s outgrown me. The only fandom she talks about anymore is... Christianity. She doesn’t talk about LoZ anymore. She doesn’t talk about Tolkien. She doesn’t watch anime or cartoons anymore. She has no interest in Role Playing, as I said a big part of staying connected.

She talks about work, her cats, crocheting, and her religion. The thing is, I can’t fault her for any of it if it’s what’s best for her. She deserves happiness and stability. But...even when I’m back in school and when I get a job I don’t think I could leave the world of fantasy and fiction behind.

I grew up going to Ren Faires, my dad wearing tights. My first boyfriend I met at Ren Faire, while he was in tights. Labryinth and The Last Unicorn are still my favorite movies of all time! I collect Dragons of all sorts. I’ve watched the whole series of Fraggle Rock a few times, because it’s just wholesome and sweet.

My parents are Trekkies, my mom has had some of her fanfiction a published in old Starlog Zines. We watch fantasy, fiction, actions, cartoons... my mom has always loved the world of books, especially fantasy. She collects unicorns, so many unicorns. When I got into Anime, so did my mom. Kenshin is still her favorite, although to be fair she loved Ultron and Speed Racer when they first came to the states (she says Speed Racer was her first ever crush).

My brothers love the same thing, my oldest brother still fans for Jason David Frank. My other brother, well, he named his cat Pandea after WoW, we have his LotR sword collection, all his movie memorabilia...

We’re nerds and dorks and not afraid to be so.

Since the move the only thing making me happy has been my animals (Gods and Goddesses the fluffy bastards are clingers and just want to love you and be loved which is something I need) and fantasy. I’ve watched several animes I just want to gush about, but if you don’t have someone who is watching it too... you don’t want to ruin it. I want to just talk someone’s ear off about Steven Universe or Miraculous the Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir. Hell, even Ducktales and Tangled. Do you know how AMAZING they have made Ducktales?! I watched the original series when I was younger but...! And all the inside jokes!!!!

The books! I probably read about thirty or forty in one month when I went on a book binge. They were all trashy romance novels, and admittedly the sex scenes were... meh... I’m Asexual, what do you expect?! Okay... some Aces like sex and stuff. It’s not that important to me. What is, is the connection two people have to each other. The love. And trashy romance novels aren’t the best at giving that... but it’s something.

Oh and the Webcomics. I have always, always loved Webcomics. I used to have the folders on my old computer organized down to the day of the week the comics updated because I so many, that I had to organize them just to get the right updates! Right now Lore Olympics. OMG Lore Olympics. Be still my heart! I am reading several on WEBTOON. I have a few I follow through DeviantArt; Erma is so frikken cute! Daughter of the Lilies, ahhhhhh so amazing and the artwork!!! Pincushion! Constructs will always have a place in my heart!

I just got into the Good Omens fandom, because I’m a Whovian and Tennant is defiantly one of my most favorite of Doctors. He was just so beautiful in it. And when I took my Shakespeare course my teacher had us watch Hamelt and ohhhhh Tennant. Ohhhh you really can’t tell if Hamlet has gone crazy or it’s an act (which he claims it is!!). Sir Patrick Stewart was also just... oh!!! I entered Good Omens because my Instagram was all Ineffable Husbands (I think because of my Doctor Who love). Finally, finally i watched it.

That was like three weeks ago I got into Good Omens and I still am completely in love. The tenderness, the loving looks. I have to read the book! And the script book! (Depression, yay!). I need to listen to the radio adaptation and revisit Queen (I was raised on rock’n’roll. And I mean, David Bowie has probably been the only Rock Star I ever went heart-eyes for... also kinda sad he wasn’t mentioned in Good Omens because he did work with Queen and let’s face it, Bowie was so gender-nonconforming!). I just want to ramble and babble on and on about the series with someone. About all the hidden bits and pieces and theories and things in my head!!!

But... I don’t have anyone. My girlfriend sort of shuts down when I talk about any of the fandoms I like. She will just skip those parts of the conversation and comment on the animal videos I send her or something else. She will talk about work or God. Again, I’m know Religion and people. If there is something I know best is you can’t dictate what someone else’s beliefs are. So while I know the Bible and Christian theory, when she talks about it and tells me stories I can only “nod” and “smile” because if a persons religion isn’t harming themselves or others, and it’s helping them, I don’t think it would be right to argue theory and philosophy with them over what is mostly fairytale stories in a book. I’m not saying their isn’t a Christian God, or many Gods, or things in the Bible didn’t happen, but not all of it is factual nor was it ever meant to be seen as strictly factual. I try to show I am at least paying attention to what she says.

At the same time, with the state I have been in, I probably haven’t given her what she needs when she is telling me about stuff.

Fantasy and fiction has been the only thing keeping me afloat. Religion and work has been helping her. I just can’t see a world without the magic of make-believe but that’s not where she is anymore.

So... I’ve been thinking for a bit now maybe we’re no longer what we need for each other in our lives. Not that we don’t love each other, and not that we can’t still be friends... but maybe it’s time we adventure out? We were what we needed from each other for years... maybe we just aren’t that anymore.

[innerclouds]

Requested:

Asks, because why not?

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1. Name No.

2. Nationality Mutt.

3. Age Old.

4. Birthday Eventually.

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) Rat.

6. Gender Complicated.

7. Sexuality Triggering.

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)

9. What do you/did you study? Comfort foods.

10. What’s your current job like?/What job would you like to have? Meh.

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11. Your birth order My what?

12. How many siblings do you have? Too many.

13. Do you have good relations with your family? Not really.

14. How many friends do you have? One.

15. Your relationship status Pending.

16. What do you look for in a SO? Brains.

17. Do you have a crush? Maybe.

18. When did you have your first kiss? Forever and a half ago.

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? Depends.

20. What are your deal breakers? Long list.

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21. How was your day? Tiring.

22. Favourite food & drink Chinese take out, spicy mexican, plain coffee and tea, ginger ale, water.

23. What position do you sleep in? Sides.

24. What was your last dream about? The old man and the cat again, seriously wtf is on the stage in the room below, why can't I see and why do I keep having this one?

25. Your fears Long list.

26. Your dreams Short list.

27. Your goals Shorter list.

28. Any pets? Gatto.

29. What are your hobbies? Procrastinating.

30. Any cool places in your area? I live next to a literal ghost town if that's considered cool these days, other then that it's wilderness everywhere else. So no, probably not.

31. What was your last awkward situation? I have multiple of those daily so I don't bother to keep up.

32. What is your last regret? Long list.

33. Language/s you can speak English, engrish, bad english, pig latin, spanish, italian, german, russian, japanese.

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) Not really, but it's fun to entertain.

35. Have any quirks? Pop all the joints.

36. Your pet peeves Long list.

37. Ideal vacation Raiding certain countries of all their street food.

38. Any scars? Lots.

39. What does your last text message say? Something about cats.

40. Last 5 things from your search history Sexual dimorphism in animals, recently opened place in town, amazon, wowhead and something for SL.

41. What’s your [device] background? Gay red head.

42. What do you daydream about? Cheese.

43. Describe your dream home Big enough, big kitchen, large fireplace, skylights, trees, out in the sticks, lots of property for a hobby farm, horses, sheep, chickens, turkeys, pigs, cows, donkeys, dogs, cats, rabbits, quail, fish pond.

44. What’s your religion/Your thought about religion Flying spaghetti monster. Stay in your lane and we'll get along.

45. Your personality type Brains.

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done Short list of those.

47. Are you happy with your current life? It could always be better.

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life Such as?

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49. What does your wardrobe consist of? Jeans, t-shirt.

50. Favourite colour to wear? Black.

51. How would you describe your style? Nonexistent.

52. Are you happy with your current looks? Lolno.

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? All of it.

54. Any tattoos or piercings? No.

55. Do you get complimented often? No.

56. Favourite aesthetic? Couple of those.

57. A popular trend that you dislike Coughing on produce during a pandemic and/or stealing products during a pandemic under the guise of internet brownie points by giving it to the homeless. I get it, you want to do a good deed, but pay for the items then give them out, don't be a piece of shit and steal it then turn around all "It's for a good cause!" Yeah nah, you're still in the wrong because you stole and are an asshole for hiding behind the homeless afterwards like a coward.

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58. Songs you’re currently obsessed with? None atm.

59. Song you normally wouldn’t admit you like. Idk.

60. Favourite genre? For what? Music? I dunno.

61. Favourite artist/band/genre? I don't have a particular favorite anymore.

62. Hated popular songs/artists? Anything rap.

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 I don't have anything that has a shuffle on it.

64. Can you sing or play any instruments? No.

65. Do you like karaoke? No.

66. Own any albums? A few.

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? No.

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68. Favourite movie/series? Long list.

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc Mystery, horror, drama, scifi.

70. Your fictional crush/es Short list.

71. Which fictional character is you? Rather not say.

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so Sebagrell.

73. Favourite greek god? Aeolus, I guess.

74. A legend from where you live that you like Something about a giant mountain fish.

75. Do you like art? What’s your favourite work or artist? Yes. Dunno.

76. Can you share your other social media? I'm on twitter but don't bother, it's pretty much dead.

77. Favourite youtubers? Eh.

78. Favourite platform? See above.

79. How much time do you spend on the internet? Too much/not enough.

80. What video games have you played? Which one’s your favourite? Soma.

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) Handful of those.

82. Do you play board/card games? No.

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? No.

84. Favourite holiday Halloween.

85. Are you into dramas? Sorta?

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86. Would you use death note, if you had one? Absofuckinglutely.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? Roll the earth into the sun like a marble.

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? I expect I could for about a week or two then do something stupid and end up dying for it.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? Ghost, so I could actually go invisible whenever I wanted. Alternately, new cryptid who preys on take out delivery and ambushes at the door before scurrying off with the boxes.

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? Be reaper.

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? Something celtic.

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? No one, everyone's got problems just in different shades.

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo Ew, no.

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true Rode in a hot air balloon. Won some baseball contest thing. Is actually a gay red head. -

95. Cold or hot? Lightly chilled.

96. Be a hero or be a villain? Villain or antihero.

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? No.

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ePWNmLP0Z0

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death? That's a tough one. On one hand I'd like to live to see the heat death of the universe or at least until the sun torches our dirt ball/we collide with andromeda, but on the other hand I'd rather not have to deal with another plague.

100. ….. or …..? ....