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Yassin al-Haj Saleh, "The Liquid Imperialism That Engulfed Syria," Commons, December 18, 2023:
Syria is a country of only 71,498 square miles in area, with a population of less than 24 million, and yet two global superpowers (the United States and the Russian Federation) and three of the largest regional powers (Iran, Turkey and Israel) are present on its territory. Israel has occupied the Syrian Golan Heights since 1967, and carries out almost nonstop incursions into Syrian air space today. In centuries past, prior to the heyday of European and Russian imperialism, Iran and Turkey were empires. While it is debatable whether they still qualify as imperial powers, they have never let go of their regional imperial ambitions. One way to understand them, regionally, is as “subimperial”: expansionist and interventionist, including militarily, in neighboring countries.
The U.S. and Russia have well-known histories of expansion and domination of peoples and territories. Imperialism was key to the very formation of both nations. But while Russia’s “manifest destiny” had been, for centuries, to expand into neighboring areas in Central Asia and Eastern Europe, it was in Syria that Moscow established its first overseas outpost. I will return to this crucial fact later.
In Syria, multiple imperial and subimperial powers have poured into one small country — some of them to protect a murderous regime, all of them annihilating any independent political aspirations among its people, dividing up sectors of Syrian society among themselves and their satellites, and denying Syrians the promise of a different future.
This unique situation was made possible by a combination of internal as well as international structures and dynamics involving five key powers — the U.S., Russia, Iran, Turkey and Israel...
One slogan of the recent protests that erupted in the southern city of Sweida on Aug. 20, 2023, speaks directly to the imperial-colonial complex that controls Syria:
["]We want the seaport, we want the land (the oil, in another formula) and we want the airport returned to us!["]
The seaport is Tartus, which, as mentioned, has been leased to Russia. The land is divided by the five occupying powers. And Damascus International Airport has, for several years now, been widely perceived to be under de facto Iranian control. The protestors in Sweida are thus drawing a connection between their economic hardships and the colonial relations between the regime and its Russian and Iranian protectors. In the version of the slogan that refers to oil, the implication is that it has been usurped by another imperial power: the U.S...
Lenin’s argument that imperialism represents “the highest stage of capitalism” has led many to think of imperialism as embodied in a very few capitalist powers. By this logic, there has been only one imperialism since World War II: Western imperialism, with the U.S. as its center and NATO as its military arm. The Soviet Union was not generally seen by those on the left as imperialist: not following World War II, nor after it invaded Hungary in 1956 and Czechoslovakia in 1968, nor even after it invaded Afghanistan in 1979. Similarly, Putin’s Russia has not generally been understood as imperialist, even after the annexation of Crimea in 2014 and the intervention in Syria in 2015. For much of the so-called anti-imperialist left, not even the full-scale invasion of Ukraine in February 2022 was enough.
This conception of imperialism must be challenged. The case of Syria requires a paradigm shift in the understanding of imperialism and the theorizing of new practices and phenomena pertaining to it.
Ultranationalism, expansion, dismissal of international law, exceptionalism, imperial imaginaries — these are characteristics of many powers in the age of the war on terror. With “terror” identified as the principal political evil globally, any state that joins in this alleged war can gain international legitimacy — even those engaged in war crimes and murder on an industrial scale. This has dealt massive blows to the rule of law both locally and internationally. It has contributed to a securitized politics, it has promoted thuggery among political elites and has weakened democracy and popular movements everywhere. Imperialism has permeated the practices of power in many countries, among which Syria is arguably the most unfortunate, with no fewer than five expansionist powers on its territory.
The concept of liquid imperialism is an attempt to capture the fact that five different powers have penetrated one small country. But it also speaks to the lack of solidity or coherence in these powers’ strategies, practices, visions and commitments. Unlike the imperial projects of the past, in Syria there is no “civilizing mission.” Natural resources are not a primary motive (though the intervening states have seized whatever they can get their hands on, from oil and phosphates to seaports and airports, to water and real estate). Rather, this is a scramble to control the future of the country.
There is also a liquid aspect in the relations among the five colonial powers. In Syria, we have two Russias — one of them is called the U.S. On a rhetorical level (especially at the beginning of the uprising), Moscow and Washington seemed to be on opposite sides: The Kremlin stood by Assad and the White House denounced him. Yet operationally, Russia and the U.S. were effectively on the same side — especially after the Islamic State came into the picture and became the central focus of U.S. strategy in Syria. From that point forward, Moscow and Washington were on the same page: The two powers closely coordinated “deconfliction” and their military personnel were on the phone to each other on a daily basis to avoid planes flying in the same location at the same altitude and to ensure airstrikes didn’t hit one another’s “friendlies.” For all the bluster about Washington wanting “regime change” in Syria, the exact opposite was the case. The researcher Michael Karadjis has demonstrated that U.S. policy in Syria was decidedly one of “regime preservation.”
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maybe there is some devious user out there tormenting people with takes like "rainflower and lizardstripe are morally good characters who are in the right for abusing their children" but im gonna be real. i have yet to see that and i have a hard time believing that it's something that's genuinely being touted around as a genuine fact
#delete later#idk who you people are being tormented with lol#but 90% of times when i see the post that kicks off these posts#it literally does not fucking say that and the users just took the most bad faith reading of it#or think that being a better character = being a better person#or that liking a character = endorsing a character
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You shouldn't tell your workplace that you're neurodivergent, they'll treat you differently or think your incompetent *blah blah blah*.
Bitch i joke with my boss while half drunk at the pub that most of our team has the 'tism and that the workplace fundamentally wouldn't function without it.
Get you a workplace that will.
#dont fucking @ me#i know that the fear of discimination in the work place about a disability is 100% valid#i have said disability and wrestled with the decision to go public with it for ages#i just dont know how to shut my mouth about anything important#and it worked in my favour cause like being neurodivergent in my field is basicaly a pre rec at this point#which is 1000% an endorsment to become an ecologist/ zoologist cause its great#ecology#zoology#environmental conservation#environmental consultant#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#cause like 90% of us are adhd gremlins so no one cares#living with adhd#adhd culture#the tism#tism rizz
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Trying to set up a filterable RSS-to-Tumblr AO3 feed is hellish 🥲 I want to automate tagging for Archive warnings… I’ve seen a couple blogs around who have done it sooo maybe I’ll DM them idk? I think it involves Javascript (scary). Also apparently IFTTT doesn’t allow direct links anymore, so I was trying Make.com, but there’s no templates and I can’t test it bc it runs on a timer 😭
DnDads is such a small fandom so idk if anyone would even care about an ao3feed blog for it, but I can set up a quick one rn if anyone is interested :3 !!!! I was mostly just looking into it for myself, though… thought it would be nice to have automated (and just kinda fun to mess around with lol)
#chalcy stuff#I don’t want people to get mad at me bc it can’t be filtered 😭😭#which is fair if you don’t want E-rated or Archive warning’d stuff on your Tumblr dash#but ig I could just be like#‘hey this blog automatically posts everything in the tag. don’t like don’t follow’#it’s not like I’d be endorsing everything or whatever#IDK I just don’t want to ruffle any feathers by not having a tagging system#wait probably 90% of y’all don’t know what I’m talking about. brb will rb with an explanation
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I must apologise to 1995 dredd. 2012 dredd is pissing me off even more!
#ugly looking movie. filmmaker clearly thinks police being able to execute on the spot is a good idea... police state endorsement#scenes that could have been campy and ridiculous are now being taken seriously. atleast the 90s one had silliness to it#like this is meant to be satire like its supposed to be a bit over the top omg???
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i dont get why people keep comparing palworld to pokemon when (at least from what ive seen from trailers) the gameplay seems vastly different?
#monster games are not a new niche that pokemon has solely owned since like. idk the 90’s?#but even then digimon was around? and that too had different gameplay mechanics#not that i am endorsing palworld either on the contrary i am not touching that thing with a ten foot pole#ai art is horrible and the fact that people are choosing to indulge in it cause ‘edgy pokemon’ is wild#like cmon guys. play monster hunter. play roblox military tycoon. that covers all the gameplay right there
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listening to "the southern book club's guide to slaying vampires" is such a mixed experience because on one hand you're treated to a wonderful narrator (bahni turpin) whose voice acting is beautiful and who makes wonderful character choices in pronunciation and mispronunciation and on the other hand.... the book itslelf is racist and sexist
#i'm truly surprised by the overall glowing reception it received now that i'm at the halfway point#i was excited to read this despite finding hendrix's other work fairly mediocre#it looked promising#but much like i found 'the final girl support group' flat from the start here too i began noticing problems almost right away#even if the prose fits my tastes much better#being accurate to the time (the 90s) shouldn't automatically translate into a reflection of the time#it's ambitious to work with an unlikable protagonist#more ambitious to make them sympathetic#sometimes hendrix is successful#but the inciting incident of the novel#(afluent and middle class women are bored with reading world renowned novels and quit their club after they fail to read about apartheid)#is endorsed and reinforced by every subsequent choice the characters make#i'll grant you only that the belittlement these women experienced at home is affecting#southern book club's guide to slaying vampires#grady hendrix#southern horror
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youtube
Console Sports Games of 1994 - Zico Soccer
Zico Soccer, released on March 4, 1994 for the Super Nintendo (SNES), is a soccer simulation game endorsed by the legendary Brazilian footballer Zico. The game was developed and published by Electronic Arts Victor, Inc. It came out just five months before Zico retired from his professional football career. While the game features Zico's team, Kashima Antlers, the other 24 playable teams are national teams rather than club teams.
Players can choose from various game modes including the E.A. Cup, Zico Cup, Exhibition, and Training. The game supports the use of a SNES mouse with game played out as a real time strategy game with players highlighting team members via a HUD display and watch the action unfold from a side-scrolling perspective.
Features
• Released: 1994 on SNES • Developers/Publishers: Electronic Arts Victor • Genre: Sports • Sub-Genre: Football/Soccer/Strategy • Modes: 1-2 Players • Perspective: Top Down/Side Scrolling • Age Rating: NA • Moby Score: N/A • GameFAQs User Rating: 2.74
1. Intro 00:00 2. Gameplay 00:15 3. Outro 14:11
Don't forget to like or dislike, and share – all feedback is very helpful. Also, subscribe for more video game and AI art-related content.
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For more sports game videos, check out the playlists below:
Console Sports Games of 1993 https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFJOZYl1h1CEhIf6hohng9T2IPLCpzn7o
Console Sports Games of 1994 https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFJOZYl1h1CGSF_AK734XDflipeUo8Dr9
#youtube#zico#zico soccer#professional footballer endorsed#soccer#football#gaming#gamer#video games#90s gaming#electronic arts victor#snes#retro gaming#classic games#sport#sports#sports gaming#youtube video#sports gaming video
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West Papua’s Indigenous people have called for a boycott of KitKat, Smarties and Aero chocolate, Oreo biscuits and Ritz crackers, and the cosmetics brands Pantene and Herbal Essences, over alleged ecocide in their territory.
All are products that contain palm oil and are made, say the campaigners, by companies that source the ingredient directly from West Papua, which has been under Indonesian control since 1963 and where thousands of acres of rainforest are being cleared for agriculture.
More than 90 West Papuan tribes, political organisations and religious groups have endorsed the call for a boycott, which they say should continue until the people of West Papua are given the right to self-determination.
Raki Ap, a spokesperson for the United Liberation Movement for West Papua, which is overseeing the call, said: “These products are linked to human rights violations, in the first place, because West Papuans are being forced, with violence, to get off the land where they’ve lived for thousands of years, which has now resulted in ecocide.
“This is a signal to the countries who are dealing with Indonesia, especially those in the Pacific region, to take notice of who they’re dealing with and how they are basically allowing Indonesia to continue the colonial project in West Papua, the human rights violations, and also ecocide.”
West Papuans��say more than 500,000 of their people have been killed by the occupation in the past six decades, while millions of acres of their ancestral lands have been destroyed for corporate profit. Indonesia, already the world’s largest palm oil exporter, is now breaking ground in West Papua on the world’s biggest single palm oil plantation, as well as a sugar cane and biofuel plantation that will be the largest deforestation project ever launched.
“West Papuans’, especially the ULMWP, position is very clear: we are a modern-day colony,” said Ap, speaking from the Netherlands.
“Indonesia hijacked the right to self-determination in 1962 when the Netherlands and Indonesia signed an agreement without any consultation in West Papua … After that, in 1969, there was a so-called referendum, which wasn’t fair, which wasn’t under international law, one man, one vote: just 1,025 men were handpicked at gunpoint to vote for integration to Indonesia.
“So this is the foundation of the Indonesia’s colonial project. When we became part of Indonesia against our will, basically the genocide unfolded.”
#palm oil#nestle#mondelez#proctor and gamble#west papua#indonesia#ecocide#colonialism#indigenous rights#deforestation
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Hello dears! I am asking you to support my campaign to help me reach my goal. I am now in bad need your support to help me stay alive and safe. Gaza is a very dangerous place either on the level of livelihood or on the level of souls. I need your monetary support to enable me to get the basic needs for my family till Rafah crossing point reopens to move my family to safety and peace. Please help a family be alive through your small donations or througn your shares to others. Thank you so Much for your stand beside people in need.
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"First, I would like to thank everyone who supported me.🙏🌹
This is my new platform, friends, after my old platform was deleted for reasons unknown to me.
I ask for your help in sharing my story again to keep hope alive for me and my family, friends.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.♥️
My family and I appreciate your cooperation and hope to reach the desired goal and save us.🙏
Attached are the verification links for the old account from the supporters.
Link vetted by @ibtisams
Link vetted by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi
Link vetted by @sar-soor
My approved number by the families in need and endorsed by the supervisors is 196."
@90-ghost @ibtisams @nabulsi @aces-and-angels @sar-soor @sayruq @fairuzfan @palestinegenocide @vakarians-babe @northgazaupdates @northgazaupdates2
Trapped Family in Gaza Appeals for Help to Survive 🕊️🇵🇸🙏
I Samer Abu Ras, am reaching out to you with a heartfelt humanitarian appeal, after the ongoing war in Gaza has cast its dark shadow over my life and the lives of my family. Our lives were once filled with peace and stability before the onset of this catastrophe, but now, we find ourselves living in a situation described as nothing short of tragic.

My wife, Shurooq, our three children, and I are now homeless, without a source of income, and without hope for the future. My family and I have lost our businesses and our home due to the war, and we now have nothing left but the cold streets and troubled hearts.

My children are suffering greatly as a result of these horrific events. They have lost the security and stability they once enjoyed and are now facing new health and psychological challenges that threaten their lives. As a father and husband, I feel powerless in my ability to provide adequate protection and care for them.

My child, who is a year and a half old, is experiencing hardships far beyond his tender age. Since the war broke out, we had to flee our home and seek refuge in a tent in a displacement camp. My child lives in extremely difficult conditions, deprived of safety and stability. The tent does not provide adequate protection from harsh weather, and food and medicine are scarce. My child suffers from malnutrition and illness, lacking basic healthcare. He cannot play or grow in a healthy and suitable environment. My only dream is to see him grow up in a safe place full of opportunities


In the face of difficult circumstances, Samer Abu Ras and his family find themselves facing serious challenges in their daily lives. They reside in a modest tent lacking comfort and security, suffering from a shortage of clean water and food, and encountering difficulties in accessing necessary healthcare. Despite these challenges, they continue to express hope and resilience in confronting adversity, holding onto hope for a better tomorrow and a return to a more stable and secure life.

I appeal to you today, dear friends, to extend to me a helping hand in escaping this hell. Regardless of the size of the donation, every drop of generosity will contribute to alleviating our suffering and rebuilding our lives anew.




We need your help to secure the funds necessary to travel away from these destructive wars and seek a safe and stable environment where we can build a better future for our children
Let us stand together in these difficult times and let hope triumph over despair by providing support and assistance to those in dire need. Let us be part of the solution and build a better future for ourselves and future generations.
Thank you for listening and for the potential generosity of your giving, and for your generous donations that will change the lives of my family for the better.
With sincere gratitude and appreciation
Samer Abu Ras and family.
@heba-20 @soon-palestine @marnota @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @i-am-aprl @nabulsi @sayruq @communistchilchuck @palipunk @palestinecharitycommissionsassoc @faggotfungus @ghost-and-a-half @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness @three-croissants @interfacefox @appsa @akajustmerry @feluka @flower-tea-fairies @90-ghost @victoriawhimsey @ficsforgaza @aria-ashryver @mangocheesecakes @humanvoicebox @plomegranate @queerstudiesnatural @commissions4aid-international @palestinegenocide @ghost-and-a-half @bibyebae @heritageposts @norrriey 🍉🌹🍉✍️
🌹🍉🇵🇸❤️🌹🍉🇵🇸❤️🌹🍉
#free palestine#every dollar helps!#donations#donate if you can#please donate#go fund me#go fund them#gaza fundraiser#help plz#plz reblog#plz plz plz#help me plz#stop the genocide#gofundme#go fund him#gofundus#donate#emergency#please help#send help#plzzzz#don’t scroll#gaza genocide#free gaza#pls help#gaza fights for freedom#gazaunderattack#palestine gfm#samerpal#remember 1 usd =10 sek
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listen let me be honest for a second. the wedding singer was probably one of adam sandler's best movies. not that it wasn't without its issues obviously. but it was a very good combination of comedy and sweet romance. also that song he sang called "somebody kill me" that he introduced by saying "i was listening to the cure a lot" okay so relatable. and the soundtrack was a banger
#to be clear i was drunk when i wrotew this and i am drunk when i am reviewing it again#listen#i don't endorse adam sandler i just have a weakness for shitty 90s movies
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If you don't know what's happening in Romania, basically everyone is losing their minds over this presidential election. People have had SRI (Romanian Intelligence Service) knock on their door over incredibly mild jokes about the elections. The platform of most of the candidates has been jacking off about how good the US and EU are, and how we need to give them more access to our resources right now. This one independent guy (some guy who left AUR because he was too anti-NATO) won the first round of presidential elections very unexpectedly (and by a significant amount). People are resigning over it. The candidate from his old party endorsed him, while the vice president of the same party condemned him. Everyone is blaming tiktok, AI, Russia, or the diaspora for this. PNL and PSD (the two biggest parties) have started bickering over this (and might shut down the government again who knows lol). A lot of people have no idea who the fuck he is. Liberal political analysts are making unhinged articles about this guy etc.
And like. This guy is fashy but 90% of the criticism against him is that he's anti-NATO.
It's gonna be the first time in 30 years a candidate from PNL or PSD didn't make it into the second round.
Like it's not even surpsising that this guy and the AUR candidate had a lot of success. They're the only ones that address even slightly the effects of imperialism on Romania and the conditions that the average Romanian lives in, while all the other ones talk about vague wank and push for more privatisation and more NATO shit. Really sucks that it's the fascists, but that's what happens when you heavily suppress communists for 30 years.
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Ahmed Fouad Alkhatib writes on Twitter about Secretary Blinken's NYT interview:
The "pro-Palestine" movement's role in prolonging the war on Gaza: Though many are angry with Secretary Blinken’s responses during his interview with the New York Times about Gaza, some of the points he shared are absolutely salient and accurate. I have said this time and again and received immense backlash for doing so: Hamas’s war strategy, statements, behavior, and goals regularly shift and oscillate based on international public opinion, the actions of the “pro-Palestine” solidarity movement, and political statements by world governments, leaders, and institutions against Israel’s war. To be clear, I’m not in any capacity saying I endorse the horrendous war that Israel’s been waging on Gaza, killing a large number of civilians (including my family) and failing to achieve strategic and lasting results 15 months later. However, Hamas refused to engage in pragmatic negotiations to end the war it started, pulled back several times from closing a ceasefire/hostage deal, and thought that mass civilian casualties would delegitimize Israel and force it to end the war. Many are uncomfortable with Secretary Blinken’s remarks because he shed light on the reality that “pro-Palestine” rhetoric and pressure on Israel has inevitably or perhaps indirectly resulted in a strengthening of Hamas’s position and the overall worsening of the situation for Palestinians in Gaza. I have said time and again that even if folks wanted to attack and criticize Israeli actions, they should call upon the Islamist group to release hostages and negotiate and off-ramp from the war to implement political transformation. Instead, the “pro-Palestine” and international solidarity movements completely ignored Hamas’s criminality against Palestinians and Israelis alike while failing to promote pragmatic, realistic pathways forward to save the most Palestinian lives and make it clear that Hamas’s actions are unpopular, unsupported, and condemned. Secretary Blinken is right on the money with his remarks. The “pro-Palestine” movements across the world after October 7 bear a significant responsibility for prolonging this war and directly contributing to the massive suffering of Palestinians in the coastal enclave. This dereliction of duty delegitimizes almost the entirety of the premise upon which current “pro-Palestine” activism is built. Take a step back and never, ever speak for, over, or on behalf of the Palestinian people!
Haviv Rettig Gur says he agrees:
I agree with Ahmed. We might assess the war differently, but we assess the future the same. When the dust settles, when the rebuilding begins, the old truths everyone likes to ignore will reassert themselves. We'll be back at square one, with the same problem as before. Israel can't rule the Palestinians for all time, nor can the war ever end as long as Palestinian ideological factions like Hamas consistently undermine every attempt at peace-making. Anyone who doesn't understand how catastrophic Hamas has been to the Palestinian cause is of no use to the Palestinian cause. 90% of Israeli Jews now tell pollsters that the fundamental impulse of the Palestinian national movement is to annihilate them. Imagine for a moment that I personally would like to see Palestinian independence in my lifetime. What am I supposed to do with the reality that that statistic describes? How do I urge my fellow Israelis to once again ante up in a game that they have learned from repeated bitter failure - and from Hamas's own consistent rhetoric - is meant to bring about their destruction? And Hamas did that. It was Hamas (with some help from Arafat) that convinced even most progressive Israelis, through explicit word and endless bloody deeds, that withdrawal or compromise would only bring more bloodshed. As long as Israeli Jews believe that, believe what Hamas tells them, they will remain immune to the moral emotions of foreigners. This is the profound folly at the heart of the pro-Palestinian movement. It wants to pressure Israelis to withdraw while Hamas tells Israelis that it will come for their kids from any inch of land they abandon. The pro-Palestinian movement has not yet noticed that it and Hamas are sending Israelis opposite messages, making opposite demands, and so canceling each other out in the Israeli psyche. And it is Palestinians, always Palestinians, who are the first and greatest victims of this folly. Even their defenders are mostly just corralling them into that same old trap. If you can't separate the Palestinian cause from Hamas's cause, or, indeed, if you share Hamas's yearning to see us destroyed, then you're no defender of Palestine. You are one of its destroyers.
#Ahmed Fouad Alkhatib#Haviv Rettig Gur#jumblr#israel#antisemitism#palestine#gaza#i/p#“pro-Palestine” movement#antony blinken#free gaza from hamas
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Over 90% of Trump's Cabinet will not endorse him. They know Trump is unqualified. They are no longer going to provide cover for a fraud.
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in case anyone is struggling with deciding who they want to vote for in the RTVStan/RTVS Nation/RTVSia/RTVS Topia/RTVS Topia-Ville presidential election, i have compiled a list:
Log
Representing the Ethernet Party: “A people with 5 ping to the main server is a people that prospers.”
Will change the name to RTVS Nation
Comic books are a part of the platform
Everybody gets a free moat
Eyes that are twice as big for everyone that wants them
Offload cost to Wifi users
Working on a battery charged snack
Hypnotist is a protected class
Robloxia war veteran
Defenses are proven
Will take your ants and import more
Endorsed by: Soulja Boy, Ken Masters, Stitch
Signature move when President: Snake Trick (no weaknesses)
Punishment for other candidates: Follow him out & about like an RPG party
Mike
Representing the Sweets & Treats Party: “I was just outside eating a sandwich.”
Orange creamsicles will be available in every store
Free Steam Deck for every American citizen
Will lower tariffs and imports on all types of sweets and treats from Canada, while raising tariffs on everything else
Most important snack is Wasabi Peas
Not very good against zoners
Why are ants so bad?
Endorsed by: 2 (anonymous), Trap Snax
Signature gimmick when President: Whenever he eats a yummy piece of candy he gets an install, which gets its own theme
Special move when President: A cool punch like Marissa from Street Fighter 6
Punishment for other candidates: Have to reach into a bin of Bean Boozled that's 90% gross ones and eat it in public in front of cameras and the press. After, push into the alligator moat. Also, Mira’s idea
Mira
Representing the Drinks & Eats party: “I was rooting around in a dumpster out back.”
Will change the name to RTVSia
One of every food and drink, free of charge
Will develop a chemical compound called “Ketracel White,” will genetically engineer ants to be dependent on it
Endorsed by: IceFrog, Yoshi, Yoshi (from Mario), baby Yoshi (might be one and the same), Chun Lee
Signature move(s) when President: Level up system (up to 3), if she gets knocked down she loses a charge of it, gets it when she does some power up move (or something), negative edge inputs (landmine, fireball, that one thing Bison does in Street Fighter 5), install where she gets a command grab, 8-way air dash, guard impact, levels reset between rounds, invincible super (can do it on wakeup)
Punishment for other candidates: Detractors rounded up and taken into woods where they are given a knife, camera, and laptop to make a Youtube channel of them living in the woods (Ethernet in the trees)
Trog
Representing the People’s Choice Freedom Integrity Liberty Justice Prosperity Sovereign Citizen’s Ethical Governance Democratic Renewal Global Sustainability Citizens for Unity (may be part of the Lego Star Wars Party): “We’re all part of God’s nation in my eyes.”
All breakfast restaurants have to be open for lunch & dinner in addition to breakfast
THEY HAVE TO GIVE YOU A LARGE WATER WHEN YOU ASK FOR IT
Desegregate PornHub and GayTube
Everybody gets a free castle
Immediately cease all snack exports
Will start war with Canada
Will mail a bomb if you want him to
Will double your ants and give them to the next guy OR will turn them all into 1 big ant
New category on PornHub for ants
Will build death robots and a spaceship
Will be inventing gorgons, griffins, vampires, Frankenstiens, zombies, mummies, insects, gorgon ants (small)
Endorsed by: The Sims, Captain Video, Half Life 2: Lost Coast (demo), Tobuscus
Super move when President: 1 Sphinx on every tile surrounding, +1 food, +1 culture (if next to a river, +2 food, +2 culture instead)
Theme song: Steppin’ Out by Joe Jackson
Punishment for other candidates: All other candidates have to do an embarrassing pose and gaze into Medusa’s eyes, which will turn them into stone. The statues will be put in front of the White House, where during a nation-wide celebration they will be knocked down with a wrecking ball/individually destroyed with dirty bombs
Wayneradiotv/Wayne John
Representing the California Milk Processors Board: “Enjoy DOGh.”
Every gallon of milk will have $2,000 in it
Free PornHub premium
Any dairy product you want whenever you want it
Will attract more ants
Will rename it to Milk Nation
Pig milk Iron Fist
Endorsed by: Britney Spears, Beyonce, Rhianna, Serena Williams, Venus Williams, Shaquille O’Neal, Harrison Ford (all branded with Permanent Milk Mustache & committed their eternal lives), Batman, Mario, Spongebob
Signature move when President: Cow army that walks on their hind legs and shoot milk as projectiles
Punishment for other candidates: Mulched into feed for his cows
Things you need to rememer for the ONLY ELECTION THAT MATTERS!!!!
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