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suckerforcate · 4 months ago

Text

Misjudgement

Pairing: Liandrin Sedai x fem!Reader

Word Count: 4496

Warning: some angst, fighting and blood, death and injuries

Summary: Laindrin and You are on a mission with some sisters and meet white cloaks. Liandrin gets hurt and you go rogue. Why, though? The two of you never seem to get along.

A/n: Request by @midnight-lestrange

Alright, this took me long enough but it's finished at last. Hope you like it!!! Could write a part two if anyone's interested in that. Would love a comment, like or repost!!!

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Walking through the corridor, you didn't really pay attention to your sisters around you or novices that bowed to you. You were tired, and it had been a long day, so you were eager to get to bed. But you should have considered that Liandrin would never let you get away with the events of the day.

You heard footsteps coming towards you and halt in front of you. It was Liandrin, and she had a smug smile on her face. You rolled your eyes, completely aware of what was about to happen.

"I see you're back from the mission, sister. I'm surprised you all came back." Your eyes darted up, and you looked at her surprised. Raising an eyebrow you set to answer.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean, Liandrin." She chuckled and stepped a little closer. The chuckle was bitter, a little arrogant even. "We did our job and gentled the man. Just like we were supposed to."

"You did, after all nearly dying. You underestimated his power and he overwhelmed you. You are too soft with the men." She said, voice icy and head held high, proud. Completely convinced that her way was the only right way.

"I don't share your deep hatred for men, Sister." I calmly responded. "I believe we are mainly there to save them from their own power, it is not their fault they can channel."

"But it's their fault, that they misuse it and besmirch it." She spit the word out, you didn't fully know but were sure she had had bad experiences with men in her life. In a way you couldn't even be mad at her for her attitude.

But it was a fact, the two of you had joined the Red Ajah for utterly different reasons. And hers was much more common with your red sisters. They were filled with hatred towards men and all they wanted was to get rid of them, if they had it their way they'd simply kill them all. You on the other hand had seen a man in your family, someone you loved dearly fall into madness because of the ability to channel. He had distanced himself from everyone, afraid to kill the ones he loved. And you hadn't been able to help. So you had joined the Red Ajah to help men like him. To gentle them before they fell into madness, before it ate them up alive. Though the men weren't always as thankful as you would have liked them to be, you believed in what you did.

"Some men do that, yes. Not all." You stayed calm, you always did. A trait many sisters admired in you, when talking to Liandrin. "Still I don't believe it is right to kill them, as you no doubt would have suggested." You looked at her expectantly. But she simply scoffed and rushed past you. A soft smile formed on your lips as you looked at her over your shoulder and stood in the corridor for a moment. She was a curious woman, hard to read, hard to understand. You chuckled to yourself and set off for your room again.

A good nights sleep would patch you up just fine and tomorrow you would go to the sitter of the red Ajah and report about the mission. So you did just that, but instead of simply reporting back to the sitter, you were sent on a new mission.

"Please, sister. I've just come back yesterday. Sent someone else, I have tasks in the tower." you pleaded, but the red sitter simply shook her head softly. It was infuriating. Not that she sent you, but that she sent Liandrin as well. Everyone knew that the two of you couldn't stay close to each other without fighting.

"You are one of the best Aes Sedai of our Ajah, Sister. We have reports from the East of a group of men, all channelling. It is necessary to sent multiple sisters, multiple powerful sisters." She remained calm, and you saw the reason behind her words. She was right of course.

"I know, and I understand that. But Liandrin? Please!" Your voice took on a pleading tone. This was going to be a disaster. Your sister straightened up and her features lost a little of its patience.

"Enough. You'll both go and that's it. We need you on this mission, both." Her voice left no room for arguments. For her the conversation was over. You raised an eyebrow, curtly nodded and left the room. A few steps down the corridor you leaned against the wall and took a deep breath in. This was going to be an absolute catastrophe.

Your eyes were closed, and you just opened them as footsteps came closer. You looked down the corridor and saw Liandrin proudly walking to the sitters room. You chuckled softly. She looked arrogant, proud because she no doubt knew she was going on a mission. But she looked beautiful. You felt the desire to make her laugh, guessing that just that would probably make the whole tower shine brighter. Make your world a little brighter.

"Something the matter?" She snapped as she noticed your dreamy stare directed onto her. She really had to ruin every nice moment, didn't she? You sighed and pushed yourself off the wall. Liandrin had stopped just in front of the door, just short of entering.

Just two days later you stood in the stables, things packed, horse saddled and all sisters ready. The only one missing was Liandrin. You looked around, at the other two sisters, raising an eyebrow quizzically. They simply shrugged and shook their head.

"Don't be too happy, we're together on this mission." You calmly said and didn't even wait to see her reaction. You could easily predict it. And if you had looked you would have seen that your prediction had been absolutely accurate. She looked surprised, then outraged and huffed, annoyed that you just left. But, for just a tiny moment, there was a slight smile on her lips. Though she wiped that off immediately and opened the door. You were already gone.

Annoyed you tied the reins of your horse to the stable door and stomped out of the wooden shed. It had been agreed that you would meet in the stables at this exact time. Where the hell was she? You made your way through the tower quickly and up to her room. The knock was unusually hard for you and was immediately answered by Liandrin.

She was casually clothed, had her hair in a few braids and looked at you innocently. You felt like you were about to explode.

"Why in the lights name aren't you down with the others?" You hissed, and she smirked slightly before she turned around and walked back into her room. The door standing open, an invitation for you to come in.

"I'm not coming." Her tone was flat, calm and yet you heard a little bit of satisfaction in it. You took a deep breath to calm down and not immediately slap the smirk off of her face.

"What do you mean?" She chuckled and looked back at you. Her arms were crossed, and her face conveyed pure arrogance.

"I'm not coming. I will most certainly not go on this mission with you. You are incompetent and will probably endanger us all." You sighed angrily. Rushing past her, you grabbed her backpack and opened it.

"You will come. Not coming endangers us. You are powerful and we need that. As much as I'd like for you to stay away. So grow up and get over your stupid grudge." You spoke heatedly, while you ran through her room, randomly opening drawers and pulling out clothes that looked practical and useful. Liandrin's eyes were widened and followed you through the room. She was surprised by your boldness. Surprised by your bluntness and honesty.

It would take you some time to get to the men that had been reported on. It was at least a seven days ride, without complications. But there were always complications. Always. Not once in all your time as an Aes Sedai had you just been able to ride somewhere, do your job and go back.

"Here." You said as you pushed the packed backpack into her arms and sharply turned around to go back to the stables. Liandrin looked down at the backpack and back at the spot where you were no longer standing. She rolled her eyes but chuckled softly. Quickly she followed you, luckily another sister had already saddled her horse. You were ready to leave.

Sometimes the complications were minor and sometimes, like today, they were a massive fucking problem. Admittedly you were easy to identify as Aes Sedai. Even if you had taken off your rings. Four women, all clothed in red, obviously wealthy. What else would you be?

In certain situations it's good to be recognised as Aes Sedai immediately. It helped to be respected. It certainly wasn't convenient when multiple white cloaks were crossing your path.

It was no secret that Liandrin and you were by far the most powerful, not just of your group, but of all the Reds. So, instinctively the two of you stepped in front of the other, trying to slightly shield them with your horses. A laugh, cold and piercing, empty of any actually humour rang out between the trees.

"Do you really think you can protect your Sisters?" The voice said with cold amusement. A man stepped out of the group, his eyes made you shiver. With a look of pure hatred towards you. A chain dangled from his belt, you could see at least eight serpent rings, in all colours. Mainly blues, but some yellows, a green and a red one were there as well. Trying to remain calm you shot Liandrin a look, seeing the same kinds of emotions in her eyes. Slight panic, that was slowly turning into massive panic. Though she was much better at hiding it than you. She lifted her chin again, preserving the look of arrogance and confidence. It looked extremely believable.

"Don't make a mistake that might cost you your life." Liandrin spoke, sharp and icy as usual. The white cloaks just seemed to see that as a challenge they were willing to take.

"The two at the front are obviously the strongest, tame them. But keep them alive for now. Kill the others." The white cloak sharply ordered the other men and turned around to go back to his horse. Before you could even move they were between your horses. Your two sisters had lost they're hands before they could start channelling. They're screams shattered your soul, and you acted fast, throwing one of the men against the nearest tree, golden weaves glowing around him. In mere second you were off your horse and slowly approached the man, still floating in the air.

"You bastard." You spit out and pulled the weaves a little tighter around his chest and throat, strangling him. Though you let him abruptly fall to the ground as you heard a scream. A very familiar scream. You shot around, your two sisters were dead on the ground, hands cut off but rings already removed. Frantically your eyes searched through the trees and blood for Liandrin.

A glimpse of honey blonde hair caught your attention. Another scream. You started running towards her and saw her kneeling on the forest ground, clothes dirty and ripped slightly. She had a stab wound just below the rips and a sharp cut on her cheek. In a swift motion you threw the man standing next to her through the forest and heard him hit a tree somewhere. You didn't care, you didn't even look after him. You felt someone kick his knee into your back and your knees gave out, you fell to the ground as well. Your hands were being tied behind your back, and you couldn't even concentrate on the one power enough to use it as you saw the white cloak with the rings on his belt harshly grab Liandrin's face and force her to look at him.

"Try to channel, and I'll cut your hands off." He nearly spit into her face and Liandrin tried to get herself out of his grip. He pulled a dagger out of his belt and held it to her throat, pushing it into the flesh slightly.

"You dirty women, think the power is just for you. You think you're so much better than the rest of us." You just knew Liandrin would say something stupid.

"We are." She pressed out. The man immediately pushed the dagger into her flesh more, drawing a little bit of blood.

"Leave her alone." You shouted, you were aware that it sounded more desperate and panicked than strong and demanding. But you didn't care. The man slowly turned to look at you, his dirty fingers were still on Liandrin's face. You tried to loosen the rope around your hands and channel, but you felt a sudden kick into your stomach that took your breath away for a moment. You could have sworn Liandrin had a hint of panic in her eyes at that.

"Leave her, please." This time it just sounded pathetic. Nothing more. It had no edge, no sharpness or demanding tone. It was strangled and desperate. The man chuckled slightly.

"No, I won't." He said and took one of Liandrin's hands, his dirty fingers caressing her knuckles for a moment. As she wanted to pull her hand away he grabbed her wrist so hard, a whine escaped her. He turned around to one of the other men who had cut of the hands of your other sisters.

You were still breathless and desperate, but you felt anger and immediate panic inside of you. You didn't even have to concentrate on the one power, it was like it just flowed out of you. Like the anger and the panic enabled it and took over control for you. You didn't even take notice of it until the power flowed out of you, lighting up the forest and sending shock waves through the ground. You pull your hands apart and rip the rope that had tied them together. The wrists hurt, like the rope had sharply cut into the flesh. But you don't even feel the pain, you simply pull your hands to the front and concentrate on the men.

"I said, leave her." You pressed out, a little stronger this time. Sharper and icy. A tone of voice you had learned solely from Liandrin. On weak knees you stood up, all the men around you too dumbfounded to act. You stepped between the man and Liandrin and threw the men that were left on their feet through the forest. Almost immediately you felt all the strength leave you, and you collapsed, falling to your knees. Liandrin's touch on your arm was softer than anything you thought she was able to muster.

"We have to leave." She said, her voice weakly in your ear, like it was coming from behind a door about a mile away. Adrenaline was the only thing leading your body right now. Shakily you stood up, and somehow you managed to get onto a horse, sitting in front of Liandrin, her arm wrapped around your middle, the reins in one hand. Suddenly a sharp wind hit your face and the world seemed to rush past you. Like a faint memory in the back of your mind you thought about your two sisters. The ones you were leaving behind. But you weren't strong enough to even say something. It felt like you were riding for hours, though you weren't sure how accurate your sense of time was right now.

At some point Liandrin stopped and let go of you, you weren't as weak anymore. Apart from the weakness of using so much of the power you hadn't really been that hurt. A few scratches and some nasty bruises from the kicks. Nothing more. You heard a sharp intake of breath behind you and slightly turned around.

Liandrin had her hand pressed against her side, the robe she was wearing was soaked in blood, and it seeped through her fingers. She looked unbelievably pale.

"Liandrin." You said shocked and immediately got off of the horse. You helped her off the horses as well and let her down on the ground gently. You took her hand away from the wound and opened her robe to push it to the side, carefully shoving her shirt up to reveal her waist and the wound.

"In light's name." You cursed and tried to concentrate on channelling. You were much stronger than before, but still weak and worn out. It felt like the power wouldn't really form to anything proper, you felt like a novice again. Tears sprung to your eyes.

You shook your hands, like that would help. You felt your chest tighten again, the inevitable feeling of panic rising again. She was bleeding, too much. She would bleed out.

"Shit, fuck." You cursed, voice a little shaky. Your palms were sweaty, and you rubbed them dry on your trousers, shaking them again in a feeble attempt to get them to fucking work. Liandrin looked up at you and seemed...confused?

"It's ok." She said weakly. You shook your head violently, pressing the palm of your hand against your chest, trying to calm your laboured breaths.

"It's not. I can't heal you, I'm too weak." You felt her other hand reach out for your hand and squeeze it. It was a very weak squeeze. Too weak.

"Look at me, and concentrate. You're strong." She whispered. You nearly wanted to chuckle. Was this what it took to get Liandrin Sedai to compliment you?

You took a deep breath in and calmed yourself as much as possible. Your hands were shaky as you lifted them again, letting them hover above her wound. You looked into her eyes and took all the strength left in you together and tried to channel. It felt like you were burning out from the inside but the weaves appeared. You were aware of how dangerous it was, but that didn't matter. Slowly, very slowly, the weaves healed her wound. Your breathing heavily, hand shaking more and more. She gained a little of her natural skin colour back, and the second her wound was closed you broke down. The wound wasn't healed very prettily, there would definitely be a scar. Usually you were much better at this, but she was safe. That was all that mattered.

All you felt were soft fingers pushing your hair out of your face and lifting your head. As you opened your eyes you realised, that your head was resting in Liandrin's lap. Her fingers softly combed through your hair, soothingly, nearly lovingly. A touch you weren't aware Liandrin was capable of.

It felt like an eternity that you both stayed like this, her fingers running through your hair. You weren't sure if you had maybe fallen asleep at some point. But you were definitely a little stronger again when she suddenly spoke.

"You risked your life for me." She said, and it sounded like she was confused. It was just a hint in her voice, put you picked up on it. Apart from the fact that you'd risk your life for all of your sisters, you were slightly surprised that she ever thought you wouldn't.

"You should have gotten out of there and not cared about me. You should have saved your own life." She added, sounding almost angry now. She didn't look at you, looked straight ahead into the forest, and yet her fingers were still in your hair. Slowly you sat up and tilted your head as you looked at Liandrin.

"Of course I risked my life for you. I'd do that for all of our sisters." You said simply. You weren't going to tell her that she was special. She turned her face to look at you. She searched for your eyes, for any sort of lie in them, any sort of deception.

"You hate me." She stated coldly, putting on the arrogant and confident mask again. You immediately let out a weak chuckle.

"I don't hate you." She was confused. That was very apparent now.

"Everyone knows that you hate me. You didn't even want me on this mission." She said and raised an eyebrow, it was like she wanted to challenge you.

"I'm the only one in the whole tower who can actually keep calm when talking to you. If I hated you, I definitely wouldn't keep so calm." You explained carefully and shrugged. You weren't sure if she was ready for the whole conversation, for the blunt and full revelation yet.

"But-..." you cut her off. She looks surprised, not many people dared to do that.

"Think about it, when we interact, who's angry and spits venom? Not me." You couldn't help but smirk slightly. She looked stunned, almost speechless. That was a first, you thought.

"What the hell are you talking about?" And she was back. In full glory, icy and mean. You sighed slightly and looked away for a moment. You thought about what to say, how to make her understand.

"Liandrin, I care for you. And I was scared..." you gulped slightly, feeling your chest tighten at the memory of her, so helpless and endangered, "I was really scared for you." You added a little softer and looked back at her.

"Bullshit." She spit out and jumped to her feet. Taking a few steps away from you, she looked down at you, angry and yet a little scared. You were still a little wobbly on your feet but tried to stand up nonetheless. It took a moment to steady yourself once you were up, but you managed. Carefully you took a step closer to her, but she immediately backed off. You sighed.

"Liandrin, please." You pleaded but she ignored it. "No one cares about me, the whole tower hates me. They fear me." She was vulnerable right now, you knew that. But as usual she hid it with anger. You were lost for what to do. It was clear she didn't believe your words. It was clear she didn't want you to get closer. There wasn't much you could do.

"I don't." You said softly, not moving any closer to not upset her further. "I don't fear you. And I do care about you. I always have." You added carefully, choosing your words cautiously. It's like you could see the gears work in her mind, and as she looked back at you, she looked nothing like the Liandrin you knew from the Tower. She looked nothing like the Liandrin that was always angry, always held her chin up high and strode through the corridors of the Tower as if she was the Amyrlin Seat herself.

She looked like a little kid, who had never been loved, never been cared for. Like a woman that was used to being mistreated and used for someone else's pleasure and will. It broke your heart. Carefully you stepped closer again, and this time she allowed it. She looked so small, so vulnerable. With a few steps you stood right in front of her.

"Lia, I care for you. And you deserve to be cared for." You softly whispered, like it was a secret — no, an oath. An oath to always care for her. To give her the love and care she had never gotten in her life. "You deserve to be loved." You added carefully, hoping she would get the hint. And judging by her reaction, she did. Her eyes widened a bit, and she stared at you completely stunned. If not for the situation, and the obvious pain in her eyes, it would have been adorable. You couldn't help but smile slightly and shrug, as if to underline what you had just said.

"You can't-..." She said, voice just a little thinner than usual, a little shakier.

"Yes, I can." You said simply and carefully reached out for her hand. Her fingers against the palm of your hand, soft and warm, was like a grounding power. It calmed your heart, silenced your self-doubt and anxiety.

"And I do." You whispered, face close to hers, so close that you can nearly feel her shaky breath in your skin. You squeeze her hand slightly.

"You're a pain in the ass most of the time." You say and a ghost of a smirk is on her lips. That alone tells you she feels the same or at least similarly to you. Otherwise, you'd be long dead by now, talking to her like this.

"But I care about you, and you're much more than you show people or even make yourself out to be." You finish and search her eyes with yours, trying to decipher a reaction, her feelings on this. You can't read her, and for a moment you ask yourself why. You can always read her. But then you understand why. Her eyes are glossy, she'd never allow even one tear to fall, you know that. But they're there, and that's honestly enough answer for you.

Boldly you tug a strand of honey hair behind her ear, that had fallen out of her complicated half-updo of braids. You'll never understand how she has the patience to do those every day. Your fingers linger in her sharp jawbone for a moment.

"You're ridiculous." She says, and it lacks an obvious amount of sharpness, though you can hear she tries to muster it. She just fails. You smile gently at that.

"Probably." She looks a bit annoyed by that answer, but can't hide a soft smile of her own. A crack of wood somewhere behind you snaps you out of it. You spin around, ready to fight again even though your legs are still a bit wobbly. It's just your horse, you audibly sigh in relief.

"We have to get back to the Tower. I don't know how far you rode, I was completely out of it. But I imagine the white cloaks are pissed, and they're still far too close." You say diplomatically as you look back at her. In the few moments you turned away she sucked up the tears rimmed in her eyes and patched her mask back together. Though it's a bit more transparent than before. A good sign. She agrees and you both get back on the horse. It's a bit awkward now, close together on the horse. Back to the Tower will surely take two days. Maybe longer. You'll manage, and you're sure once at the Tower she'll try to shut you out. But you can be persuasive if you want and now that you've seen a glimpse of her, you won't back down.

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