#4. no matter how many times I see paintings of flowers in a museum. they will always fascinate me. one day I will own my own painting and

[apricotluvr]

August 2024, feels like a new chapter

[maggies-scribblings]

Yarning For Her

Adrien is smitten with the girl who's always been there, in the row behind him. But when his plans to ask Marinette out unravel, a secret throws him for a loop…

Written for the Miraculous Writer's Guild April Event 2021: Followers sent five emojis as prompts to the @mlwritersguild Tumblr for the writers to pick one to write for. I chose the emojis sent by @ladycat1: ✨ 😊 👀 👩🏻 🧵

Canon compliant up to Season 4, Episode 4: M. Pigeon 72.

👩🏻

It was finally happening. The event everyone was waiting for… well, everyone except the main protagonist of said event.

Marinette could feel it, though she could hardly believe it. She noticed Adrien looking at her with more intensity, when he thought she wasn’t looking. How he had trouble finding the right words when talking to her. All the tiny gestures of attention, like offering to help with a difficult subject or a complex art project, or praising her outfit every day, even if she’d worn it several times before.

Nino could tell, too: questions about Marinette and her favourite colour, food, flower, or whatever else were whispered in his right ear all day.

Actually, the whole class noticed Adrien’s marked change in behaviour. His cheerful hellos were now stuttered in Marinette’s general direction. His head hid on his shoulders whenever Marinette sighed or yawned, as if his neck couldn’t handle her fresh breaths. Even his athletic skills were now replaced with an unexplained jerkiness. The fact that the weather was warmer and the girls’ gym suits gave way to short shorts and strappy tops might have had something to do with it.

In short, Adrien fell in love with Marinette. Hard.

👀

When it started, Adrien couldn’t exactly tell. Ever since that first day of school, Marinette had held a special space in his heart (most of which had been stolen by Ladybug the previous day). She was one of his first and dearest friends.

But now… after getting to know Marinette, her loving and kind nature, after seeing her helping others without asking for anything back, after finally noticing how pretty she was… he wasn’t so sure.

That day at the pool was definitely a turning point.

First there was that unplanned double dive. During those milliseconds when they were falling, Adrien’s thought process went something like this:

Danger!—Why is Marinette here?—Protect!—Wow, she looks so cute in that swimsuit!

As they hit the water, their arms instinctively reached out to the other as they sank, swirling back up to the surface in a soft embrace — just like that night in New York, when they had danced floating in the air, under the full moon.

And when they were leaving the pool, Adrien was so happy and surprised to see she still had the umbrella he’d given her way back then! Sweet as always, she offered to give it back to him, even though it was raining and she had to walk home.

She was standing next to him (she linked her arm in his!) when that pesky umbrella decided to close on them, and they were pulled even closer for a few seconds. Very close. He could smell the chlorine in her hair mixed with the scent of sweets that always surrounded her. He thought he felt her heart beating faster and faster. Maybe it wasn’t. His heart certainly was. He could feel her warm breath through his shirt, and it drove him a little crazy.

When they said goodbye that day, he could hardly take his eyes off her. He even bumped his head on the car door frame. Ladies and gentlemen, here’s the charming, elegant model Adrien Agreste, unable to enter a car (come to think of it, he seemed to have a bit of a problem with doors whenever Marinette was around).

✨

The few weeks that went by did nothing to sort out Adrien’s feelings about the two black-haired girls in his life. His days were mortifying, his nights restless. On one such night, Adrien tossed and turned, but sleep wouldn’t come. The full moon and bright stars shining through the window frames painted his room with grid patterns, a constant reminder of his confined life.

Adding to that, his mind was racing with memories of his (now frequent) clumsiness and embarrassment at school. He recalled the fumble of the day: going into the classroom while trying to look cool, he managed to snag his bag strap on the door handle, causing him to jerk back and hit the ground on his butt in front of the whole class.

Adrien groaned and turned again. Worst thing was, he had no idea how she felt for him. She kept sending mixed signals. Her behaviour towards him wasn’t as weird as it had been, but that didn’t mean a lot. He’d even asked her a couple of times. He remembered the time they visited the wax museum, when she said she didn’t like him like that.

“What’s the matter, kid?” Plagg yawned from his side of the pillow, annoyed by his bearer’s restlessness. “Who is it this time? Spots or bakery girl?”

Adrien didn’t bite, going back into his musings instead.

His mind turned to Ladybug… These days, Spots occupied a much smaller part of his thoughts. He still got the occasional butterflies in his stomach when he saw her, or when she praised him and his humour. She would always be his first love, and not an easy girl to forget… but she was right, of course — she was always right — as long as they had enemies, they couldn’t reveal their identities, much less deepen their relationship. Back when Bunnyx first showed up, they found out that there would be a new Hawkmoth and countless akumas in the future, and who knew when that would end?

Plagg was still grumbling about sleep and cheese. Adrien playfully flicked his kwami’s ear.

“Shut up, Plagg! I’m trying to sleep!”

“Very unsuccessfully, I might say,” Plagg flew out of his reach. “You sighed four-hundred and fifty-eight times in the last hour.”

“Come on… can’t you see I’m in turmoil here?” Adrien turned his back to the kwami. It was no use arguing with a deity, no matter how minuscule.

“Four-hundred and fifty-ni—” Plagg’s teasing was interrupted by a pillow hitting him.

😊

This wouldn’t do. Adrien couldn’t stand his own indecisiveness any more. He decided to ask Marinette out, that very day. After a reviving shower, he got dressed and looked in the mirror. The dark circles around his eyes were evident, but he hated wearing concealer to school. He might as well add a couple of details to his usual get-up: a pair of Gabriel’s new collection sunglasses and his favourite blue scarf.

He arrived at school early, and while most of the class was either chatting in the courtyard or going into the classroom, Marinette was nowhere to be seen. Adrien went into the locker room, and lurked behind the last row of lockers while students got in, got their things and left.

Finally, the hurricane that was late-for-class-Marinette thundered in, scolding herself for oversleeping as she got her books for the morning. When she closed the door, there was Adrien, leaning against the cabinets with his best Chat Noir smirk as he looked over the rim of his sunglasses and greeted her.

“Good morn—”

He didn’t have time to finish his line, as a very startled Marinette squeaked and grabbed his free arm to spin him around and pin him to the lockers with an elbow to his throat.

It took a few moments for Adrien realise exactly what had happened, before she released her hold.

“I’m sorry, I… panicked,” Marinette said, as she stepped back and continued to gesticulate wildly and mumble more awkward apologies.

Still frozen in place, Adrien managed to adjusted his crooked sunglasses.

“Marin—” he had to clear his throat. “No, I— It’s o-ow!”

Adrien tried and failed to step forward, as he heard a ripping sound — his scarf was caught in Marinette’s locker, and the momentum slammed him back into the metal doors with a loud bang.

The proverbial stars that blurred his vision cleared up to show Marinette very close to him, fumbling with the lock to release the scarf.

“Sorry, so sorry, I’m such a klutz!”

“It’s okay, no harm do—”

Adrien stopped talking when he saw that the scarf had a large rip, disappointment obvious upon his face.

“Oh no!” Marinette covered her mouth as she saw the damage. “Your scarf! I ruined it!”

At this point, Adrien would usually smile and say something like ‘it’s okay’ or ‘no worries’, but he couldn’t lie: he really loved that scarf. It was his favourite colour, warm and cosy, yet light enough to wear on a spring day, and a rare thoughtful gift from his father. He pouted a little as his fingers traced the tear.

“I can fix it!”

He lifted his eyes to Marinette as she got on her tiptoes to unwind the scarf from his neck.

“I can make it look as good as new. I know you’re worried, after all it’s your dad’s birthday gift,” she rambled as she delicately folded it, “but I have leftover yarn— I mean, I think I have the same colour, and it’s a simple pattern.”

There was something odd about the way she worded that, but Adrien dismissed it. He must have made a weird face, because now she had a concerned expression.

“I mean, if you trust me with it… I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t after I destroyed it. ”

“No—I mean, don’t be silly, it was an accident… I shouldn’t have sneaked up on you like that!” He managed a relieved little smile. “Still, my father might be upset if he saw I ripped it. Are you sure you can fix it?”

Marinette’s eyes averted his for a moment, as she returned the folded up scarf.

“I’ll do my best! I’m not a pro like your father, but I’m sure I can make it as good as new in no time at all!”

They agreed to go to Marinette’s place after school so that she could start working on it right away, then ran off to class as the second bell rang.

Not exactly the way I planned it, Adrien thought as he scrambled onto his seat, but I guess it worked!

🧵

Adrien reclined in the chaise-longue and looked around Marinette’s bedroom. It was the total opposite of his, huge and aseptic and cold. On the contrary, these walls had warm colours and pictures everywhere, and it smelled amazing, fruity shampoo mixed with glue and ink from her many design projects, mixed with sweets from the bakery, and everything about it was so welcoming and cosy and so… Marinette.

“Yes!” Her delighted voice interrupted his reveries. “I knew I still had it!”

Adrien chuckled as he saw Marinette triumphantly holding a ball of light blue yarn, then get several needles from her yarn basket and sit at her sewing station to start working. He switched seats to her desk chair and rolled close to her.

“Can I help?”

“Sure! Let me just…”

Marinette picked up a long, thin knitting needle and started to thread it on the scarf, just above the tear. She was so concentrated and her movements so careful and precise, she might as well be defusing a bomb. Adrien noticed her tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth and wondered what her kisses would taste like.

“There. I have the brakes on, now let’s get going.”

Marinette found the end stitch at the corner of the scarf and cut it. Giving Adrien the end of the yarn, she continued.

“Hold this. Make a ball while I unravel it.”

“Huh? Un-what?” Much as Adrien trusted her skills, he panicked. “Won’t you make it worse?”

“No, because I’m holding the knitting with this,” she pointed at the longer needle she had threaded through the scarf.

Marinette turned her chair, so they were sitting face to face, knees almost touching, and started to quickly unravel the bottom part of the scarf, while he rolled up the thread in a ball, both enjoying the comfortable silence. He noticed a small piece of fabric falling from one of the edges and bent down to pick it up.

“What’s this?” Adrien thought out loud while examining it.

As soon as Marinette lifted her eyes from her work and saw what he was holding, her eyes went wide and her cheeks red.

“Oh, it’s nothing—” she tried unsuccessfully to snatch the fabric from his hand. “Probably just the washing inst—”

It was not an ordinary washing instructions tag. It was tiny and had been woven into the knitting, so discreetly he’d never noticed it before. He turned the fabric over to see a recognisable signature.

Marinette

“Wait— you made this?” Adrien picked up the other end of the scarf from her lap and examined like he’d never seen it before. “Wha—? How? D-did my father buy it off your website?”

So that’s why she was so confident about fixing it. He searched Marinette’s face for an explanation, but she just shook her head and kept looking down, unravelling the loops one by one.

“No— of course not— your site wasn't set up back then, we only took those photos later…”

Adrien thought back to the time Nathalie handed him the present, neatly packed in a box with a ribbon. He’d never seen that kind of care in his father’s presents, just standard gift bags with expensive pens, straight from a corporate catalogue. His train of thought was broken by a couple of tears falling on his hands.

“Marinette…” he murmured, lifting her chin to look into her misty eyes. “Did you make this for me?”

She nodded with a tiny smile. He moved his hand from her chin to cup her cheek, wiping her tears with his thumb.

“Was this supposed to be your present for me?” Another nod. “How did this mess happen then?”

“I…” Marinette had to clear her throat and finally looked at him. Something in her eyes changed from avoidance to determination. “I wanted to give it to you personally, but I couldn’t gather the nerve… then one thing led to another, and I left it in your house, and I even signed it, but…” she shrugged.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I just… couldn’t. You were so happy with the present from your dad. I couldn’t ruin it for you.”

Adrien made a mental note to find out exactly what had happened, then set all his negative feelings aside. His heart was too full of love to think about anything other than the girl in front of him.

“Oh, Marinette…” he softly chided as he hugged her. How could this girl be so selfless, on top of everything else? She cared for him, really cared for him, even back then. “I wish you’d told me.”

He released the hug and pulled her closer, into his lap. Marinette set the scarf on the sewing table and put her arms around his neck. Her tears were gone and a hint of a smile played on her lips.

“That way,” Adrien caressed her nose with his, “I would have thanked you properly.”

“Oh yeah?” Marinette breathed, her lips very close to his. “You can thank me now.”

They closed the distance between them, their lips melding into a sweet kiss, then another, and then a few more. Adrien’s heart was beating so fast he could hardly bear it. Then he remembered he should probably breathe at some point.

“Wow.”

“Wow.”

“If that’s the way you thank a person for a present, I’ll start giving them more often,” Marinette joked.

“Not anyone.” He pecked her lips. “Only you.”

They kissed again, this time more passionately. He kissed her eyes, the tip of her nose, her forehead, her neck, then back up to her lips…

The scarf was left forgotten on the sewing table. It could wait a few more hours before repairing.

Fin

Thanks to @hari-writes and @deinde-prandium for the beta read! ❤️

Constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated. English is not my first language and I tend to use UK English. If you catch any inconsistencies, please let me know.

My AO3. My Twitter. My Instagram.

[laineystein]

40 little things I love about Israel (AKA the Israel the media won’t show you):

1. Beach libraries! Bus stop libraries! Colorful, well stocked, pop up libraries everywhere!

2. In Israel, the swings at a playground are spaced in a circle (instead of a line) so children can look at one another. It encourages interaction and community - very Jewish!

3. There were mice/bird issues in Israeli neighborhoods so the government released cats to combat the issue. When they realized it had gotten out of hand, vets started spay/neutering and vaccinating all of the stray cats so they’re all well taken care of.

4. There are flowers everywhere!

5. Beautiful graffiti! A lot of it uses the natural texture/shapes of structures to make art. So colorful!

6. A lot of neighborhood streets are themed. There’s a neighborhood in Ashdod that is named after strong Israeli women - my favorite!

7. The respect for the military. We give to those currently serving, we have holidays for those who have fallen in service, and our rehabilitation centers for those injured in service are top notch.

8. There is art - sculptures, mosaics, paintings - everywhere! We even turn useful things (benches, trash cans) into art. Or exercise equipment…like outside…at the beach. All art.

9. Makhtesh! (Mountains that were washed over with water causing them to collapse into themselves, causing massive crater-like valleys)

10. Trees! Someone is born? Plant a tree. Someone passes? Plant a tree. Just want to plant a tree? Plant a tree.

11. Promenades! Also referred to as “teyelet” in Hebrew. Pedestrians, bikes, flowers, cafes. Not sure where to go? Find the promenade and start walking. You’ll figure it out.

12. Jews are from all over the world - and they bring their food with them to Israel. Moroccan? Italian? Yemeni? Russian? Syrian? Slavic? Polish? German? French? Brazilian? Spanish? We have it ALL.

13. Similarly - Kosher? Pareve? Vegetarian? Vegan? Gluten-free? Israel’s restaurants typically have options for each and/or are very amenable to making changes when they can.

14. Super diverse geography! Mountains? Deserts? Beaches? Forests? Cold weather? Warm weather? YUP.

15. Public transportation is very efficient. You really don’t need a car. It’s also extremely affordable so there’s really no reason *not* to use it.

16. This one will blow your mind: religious tolerance! Does Israel have a lot of Jews? Sure! It also has Muslims, Christians, Atheists, etc. Israel prides itself on being very knowledgeable/aware/respectful of different religions and beliefs and caters toward each in the government, education, military, etc.

17. Museums! So. Many. Museums. Indoor, outdoor, UNDERWATER. All the museums!

18. Free in vitro-fertilization programs! (Healthcare in general is amazing)

19. There will be rosemary and sage that just grow wildly near the road? And you can pick it and cook with it? And we do? Often.

20. Such varied communities of Orthodox Jews. Hasidic Jews are such a small subset in the Orthodox community. They all have different traditions and appearances. It’s really wonderful.

21. Simchat Torah is a party in the streets. Honestly, all Jewish holidays just hit differently in Israel.

22. Salads. Colorful salads! Savory salads! Sweet salads! For those of you who are weary of Salad culture, Israel will change your mind. We eat salads at nearly every meal.

23. We have the best coffee. That’s it. We just do. (Our coffee and cafes are so good that Starbucks doesn’t survive in Israel. Who needs it?)

24. Lemonana. Or lemonade with mint. Just trust me.

25. The Dead Sea. Come see it/experience it before global warming makes it disappear!

26. Prisoners can vote in elections! We even have polling places in prisons to facilitate this. We actually put polling places in many places to ENCOURAGE voting by all Israelis.

27. The siren on Yom HaShoah. How the entire country of Israel comes to a stop no matter what they’re doing.

28. The views. There’s always a mountain you can stand on to see the ocean, the skyline, the desert.

29. There’s always new and old parts to cities and they somehow blend together really well. Israel is full of so much history and the Israeli people continue to build on that without disrespecting the past.

30. Sheirut Leumi AKA an alternative to compulsory military service that allows young Israelis to serve Israel in different ways ie. working at Independence Hall, explaining Israel’s history to tour groups, and any other visitors.

31. So many options to volunteer! Food pantries, hospitals, nursing homes - giving back to the community is a key tenet in Judaism and is common in Israel. (Our bus stops have monetary donation boxes!!)

32. The shuk aka the massive open-air market in Jerusalem. Google it. It’s magical. (There are a lot of shuks throughout Israel but the most well known and largest is in Jerusalem.)

33. Banks are like works of art? They’re architecturally stunning? It’s like being transported back in time. Even newer banks are built in older styles.

34. So many parks and botanical gardens. And they’re all FREE!!!

35. Halva. I could eat pounds of it.

36. The sunsets. Nothing compares.

37. Universities are fun to visit? All are welcome. They often have tours open to the public and they’re designed with that in mind.

38. Our money has braille on it! And we have a theatre that is dedicated entirely to the deaf and blind communities. How cool is that?

39. Light shows. We like to light up buildings and we hold events showcasing lit fountains and other light adorned structures. I don’t know but it’s a big thing.

40. Kosher everything! Kosher glue on stamps! Kosher food fed to animals at the zoo! Kosher McDonalds!

[marshmallow-phd]

Healing Touch

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Wolf!AU

Pairing: Yixing x Reader

Summary: Medical school abroad was the last line on your to-do list before starting the rest of your life. Everything was going according to plan. Everything, that is, until tragedy strikes your campus. In the wake of a professor’s untimely death, you’re partnered with the cute boy with a breathtaking smile in the newly combined labs. You find yourself unable to resist the dimples and shy glances, but his life is here with no plans of leaving. Will you continue on as planned or will you accept the hand that Fate had dealt you?

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I Final

**

The door to the bathroom slammed behind Yixing as he plastered his back against the cinderblock wall. The bathroom was empty, thank goodness. His heart was pounding, beating in rhythm to the pawing of the wolf. It growled at him to go back, to find you and claim you. He fought against it. Barely. 

All this time you had been here, on this campus, and he never even knew it. How many times had he come close to almost running into you? Almost had a class with you? How many times had he walked into the student union or a lab or any other classroom and missed you by mere seconds? Having met you now, under these circumstances – it almost felt like Fate was taunting him.

Sliding down to the floor, Yixing let his head fall back against the paint-flaking stone. A small smirk tugged at his mouth. He’d found you. Like a flower blooming for the first time… you were beautiful. Your smiles had been small but stunning. When your hair fell like a waterfall hiding your face, his fingers twitched to push it behind your ear. Yixing had found girls pretty before, but you – you were fascinating. Like seeing a close up picture of a new planet a million lightyears away for the first time. As quiet as you were, he was determined to flip over the stones and discover what lied underneath.

Elation soon gave way to worry, though. Now that the first step was done, he had to proceed with caution. He didn’t want to scare you off or come on too strong. Knowing himself, he could get too excited and push you too far before you were ready. 

And then there were the headaches. And the lost time. He needed to find the cause of it. He needed to understand what was happening to him. Because the last thing he would want is to hurt you.

Pushing himself back up to his feet, he went over to the sink and turn the cold water on blast. He cupped some of the water in his palm and cooled off heat radiating from his neck. Icy droplets rolled down his back and over his shoulders. It helped, sparingly. He gave a single glance in the mirror before turning off the water and walking out of the bathroom.

He knew that going to his next class would be a useless action. Paying attention was out of the question. There were ways that he could catch up in his spare time. Right now, he needed to be in a place where he was both surrounded by people (to keep himself in check), and yet alone for his thoughts. So, he headed for the student union. The buzzing of a hundred conversations hit him as soon as he stepped through the doors. None of them were clear, too intermixed to be deciphered. Perfect. Now he just need to find an empty table in a corner and-

“Hey, Yixing!”

Yixing blinked, searching around for the one who had called his name.

Baekhyun was standing up in his seat, waving an arm back and forth to get Yixing’s attention. The latter sighed. Maybe this was better. Maybe being alone wasn’t a good idea after all.

Sitting with Baekyun was Chanyeol, Jongin, Sehun, and Kyungsoo. Jongdae, Yixing knew, was in class. However, Minseok was usually with them. He must have been somewhere off with his mate. A quick surge of jealous struck through Yixing’s veins, but he tampered it down quickly. Soon enough he would be there, too. Soon enough.

Careful to keep his face as neutral as his facial muscles would allow, Yixing headed over to the others, dragging a free chair over from a nearby table.

“Playing hooky?” Baekhyun teased.

“Just didn’t feel like going to class.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Nor the complete truth. The statement fell somewhere in the middle. Like most things he said these days. 

“Are you sweating, hyung?” Sehun asked from the other side of the table.

Chanyeol sniffed several times. “You still smell like your body wash. Is everything okay?”

Jongin pointed at him. “Your collar’s wet.”

Yixing shifted in his seat. Was it too early to tell them? Was it news that he should share with Junmyeon first? He knew he would end up going to Minseok at some point. Who better to go with for advice than the one person who’s lived through it already? Maybe even Ji Yeon might have a few words of wisdom for him. All five of his brothers were staring at him, waiting for an explanation, fictitious or otherwise, for this out-of-character behavior.

“She’s in my new class.”

“Who is?” Chanyeol asked.

Yixing didn’t reply right away. The words were sticking to the tip of his tongue like fly paper. Maybe he should just say “never mind” and go on with his day. This wasn’t the right setting to share this information. He shouldn’t have said anything. He should have waited until he got back to the farmhouse. He should have discussed this with Junmyeon and Minseok first. As much as he loved Baekhyun, he had a feeling this news would get back to the rest of the pack before he had a chance to tell them himself. Would Jongdae start to avoid him, too?

Before he had a chance to backtrack, Kyungsoo caught on. “Ah. You mean, her, don’t you?”

Yixing swallowed, the muscles in his throat contracting, making the motion difficult. Slowly, almost like a fishing bobber in the water, he nodded.

Letting out an exasperated scoff, Baekhyun hunched down in his seat. “This feels way too fast. I thought we would have time after Minseok until the next one.” He straightened up before leaning in close to Yixing. “Are you sure it’s your mate? Are you sure you just don’t think she’s really pretty?”

Yixing shook his head. “Minseok is right. The feeling is different. And immediate. It’s her.”

“Well, better you than me.”

“But think of the nice excuse it would give you to break up with Daisy?” Chanyeol teased.

“Who said I wanted to break up with her?”

“You did,” Kyungsoo deadpanned. “Last night.”

Baekhyun feigned being taken aback. “W-well, that was last night. I changed my mind. This morning.”

“I hope your mate gives you hell,”Jongin laughed. He turned to Yixing. “Is she pretty?”

Yixing didn’t dare fight the grin spreading across his face. He nodded eagerly. “Yes. Very. Very pretty.”

“So, you gonna tell Junmyeon?” Baekhyun asked.

“Of course. I will tonight. Back at the house.”

“At least we’ll get to see this play out more. I feel like we missed the good stuff with Minseok.”

“It’s not a movie for your entertainment,” Kyungsoo scolded.

Baekhyun simply shrugged, turning his attention back to the food in front of him. He’d gotten his teasing out of the way. Oddly enough, Yixing was feeling a little lighter. He hadn’t kept the secret long at all, but that was what a pack was for. They were there to keep you steady and to lean on when things grew tough. He could go to them for advice – well, some of them. Others were good for a laugh and help ease any weight that was baring him down. Each member had his strength, for which he was grateful. Three additional faces appeared, stopping him for a moment. But then Baekhyun started imitated one of his professors and Yixing was pulled away from the past and back to the present.

However, even as he smiled and laughed along with the others, one thing refused to leave him: Would you be safe? With his current… predicament, he worried about you. If anything were to happen to you – especially because of him – he would never be able to forgive himself.

Silently, he vowed that he would put an end to this rogue wolf – no matter who it was.  

**

Perhaps walking wasn’t the best idea at the moment. It was chillier today; a cold front having moved in from somewhere out west overnight. The jacket you wore was thin, the wind sliding through the threads with more ease than water through a drain. But it seemed silly to take the bus with such a short distance between your apartment and the university campus. Certainly not worth the anxiety it would create.

Yes. It was good to walk. Good to get the exercise. And by the time you make it to the courtyard, you would be used to the cold. For now, you zipped the closure up to your chin and tucked your arms in as close to your chest as possible.

The campus felt like a ghost town when you arrived. Most of the students were taking refuge in the buildings, hiding from the wind between the walls decorated with tutoring flyers and motivational posters. Part of you thought to maybe do the same, to cut through the buildings to get a relief from the depressing weather, but that would take you longer. None of the buildings were straight shots. You could endure it. Or else, you could end up as another frozen statue on the grounds that would occasionally get covered in toilet paper or streamers by pranking students. At least you would actually look like something if that were to happen. Most of the artwork was of the abstract kind.

Not that that was a bad thing. Most of it was quite interesting. But it gave you a headache, turning and twisting your head to look at the statue from a new angle, the picture changing each time. You preferred less complicated, more obvious art. Old portraits or watercolor landscapes were the sections of the art museum you spent the majority of your time in. It didn’t need to be complicated to be art, in your opinion. Every new artist was trying to “say something”, which was fine. It was their art and they were allowed to do with it as they saw fit. You were just the kind of boring person who liked a pretty picture, no added thinking required.

Yes. Boring, indeed.

“(y/n)!”

You stopped walking, confused as to who could be calling your name. Glancing over your shoulder, you saw the new boy from your human physiology class – Yixing. He was jogging up to you, cutting through the grass, not caring if the canvas fabric of his Converse ended up soaked. He was huffing only the slightest bit when he came to a stop beside you. The tiny corners of his lips were slightly turned upward. You’d only met him a few days ago. How could he be seemingly elated to see you? 

“Hi.”

He wasn’t the least bit discouraged by your steely reception. “Are you on your way to class?” He pointed in the direction of the science building. You nodded. Lying would make you have to take a weird, long way to the classroom and even then, you couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t see you in the hall. Besides, after your first class you would be seeing him again, at the same table. “Can I walk with you?”

Those five little words sent a surge through your brain, frying the motherboard and sending you into disfunction. Why did he want to walk with you? Pound, pound, pound your heart was going in your ears. He was smiling broader now as he waited for your answer. Surely, there were better available options in girls to walk to class.

“Why?”

Your hand nearly snapped up to your forehead. Where! ‘Where is your class’ was the question you were meaning to ask. But your brain was too focused on why he was asking you that the signals got crossed somewhere and the wrong thing came out.

The smile faded. “Oh, um… I just saw you and thought that maybe if we were headed in the same direction….” He cringed, his hand reaching behind his head to scratch nervously at his scalp.

“Sure,” you said without giving yourself a prior warning.

The smile snapped back into place. “Okay. Great.”

Neither of you moved. You were sure that part of the idea of “walking to class together” included actually moving your feet, but you didn’t start heading towards the building. Yixing didn’t budge either. He kept smiling at you.

A sudden burst of icy wind picked up. The gust bit right through your jacket, causing you to shiver somewhat violently. Your teeth were still chattering even as it died down again.

“Are you cold?” Yixing asked worriedly.

“No, I’m fi-”

He ignored you as he slipped his bag off his shoulders and removed his much heavier bomber jacket. He draped the jacket over your shoulders and replaced his bag. Now he was left in only a black T-shirt, but he seemed unaffected by the cold. Not even goosebumps gave away if he was uncomfortable or not. “I hope that’s better.”

You were hit with an overwhelming pine scent. Normally you hated the smell. It reminded you of those old car air fresheners that would hang from the rearview mirror. But this particular type… it was a struggle not to breathe in deeper. You didn’t want to come off as weird.

Or, weirder that you already were.

“Thanks,” you said shyly, unable to meet his eye. “We, um, we should probably start… walking.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re right.”

The two of you finally headed for the science building. You each stepped in rhythm with the other, falling into the pattern with such a natural ease that it made you curious. Your nerves were on high alert around him, but not in a way that made you scared of him. Not the “he’s going to kill me” kind of nervous. Just… on edge. You weren’t sure why he was interested in you – whether platonically or something else, you hadn’t figured out yet. You weren’t the typical college student in your experiences. Anxiety over social gatherings tended to limit your outings. Not that you minded. You needed to keep up the good grades to get into the university you wanted and the extra time spent studying helped. Your family was your main social outlet, but you didn’t see anything wrong with that.

The bad thing was, you knew how your family reacted and came to decisions in most cases. That sense of familiarity was lost when it came to other people, so you never were quite sure how to read them.

“What’s your first class?” Yixing asked as the building came into view.

“Organic chemistry,” you replied. Not your best subject, if you had to admit it. Biology was more your strong suit. “What about you?”

Yes. Good counter question. A natural one to ask. Right?

A dusty pink bloomed on his cheeks. “Psychology.”

You frowned. Those classes weren’t held in the science building. Those types of classes were the rest of the therapeutic college – several buildings away. Pointing to the doors that the two of you were now stopped in front of, you said, “Then why-”

“I saw you and wanted to say hi.”

Okay, like stated earlier, you weren’t the best at reading strangers. But you could almost feel your aunt nudging you with her shoulder in her cheeky fashion. And you would have to agree with her, it did feel like there was an air of flirtation underneath the innocent sentence.

“You wanted to say ‘hi’?” you repeated

He scrunched up his shoulders guilty. “Yeah. I thought that – since we’re going to be partners for the rest of the semester – that it wouldn’t hurt to get to know each other?” His eyes flickered down to the cement and then back up at you. “Is that alright?”

That simple movement made your heart flutter. “I guess so.”

Not the exact answer he was hoping for, judging by his reaction. He released his breath through his nose and nodded, his lips puckering a small amount. “Okay. I’ll see you in class.” You weren’t given a chance to respond before he stepped around you and headed off.

Now you were the one who felt guilty.

All through class, you struggled to absorb the material more than usual. You felt like a jerk to someone who was only trying to be nice.

No. Nice wasn’t the right word to use. Polite seemed too small a word as well. His interest in getting to know you seemed genuine, sincere. You were the one quick to pull away. You couldn’t help it. And you had immediately regretted it, wishing you could rewind and try a different response. Yixing made you more nervous that usual, which only overloaded your brain even more.

By the end of class, you’d settled on apologizing. You’d practice the speech over and over again in your mind to make sure that it made sense and conveyed what you were sorry for. And hopefully didn’t create a bigger mess.

Since you were right around the corner, you made it to human physiology early. You took your time taking out your supplies and lined them up on your side of the table. Every few seconds your eyes would flicker to the door in eager anticipation. The students who flowed in were never him. Oh. Goodness. Had you made him so upset that he’d decided to skip class altogether rather than sit next to you?

That fear subsided when you saw him walk into view of the open door. A shorter boy was with him. They were chatting in a friendly manner in the hallway, smiling and laughing occasionally. Yixing didn’t seem to still be upset from your earlier send off.

The shorter one, wearing a backwards cap and t-shirt despite the cold (were males really that immune to dropping temperatures?), glanced into the classroom and made eye contact with you. He whispered something to Yixing, who in turn snuck a peek of his own. He nodded to the shorter boy. The latter nodded as well. He patted Yixing on the shoulder and then left.

Oh, wonderful. Now what had you done?

Your entire speech went diving out the window as Yixing walked into classroom and sat down in his seat.

“Hey,” he greeted, throwing you off even more with a smile.

You lifted your hand and gave a rather pathetic wave. “Hi.”

“Did you have fun in chemistry?” he asked. Everything about his mannerisms reflected his earlier legitimate interest. It was almost as if the parting earlier had only been a bad dream in your head and instead had ended amicably, with no signs of awkwardness.

You were starting to relax. That was another odd thing about Yixing. Though your nervous system was on the fritz, you also felt at ease, almost. Already, you were finding appropriate and - dare you say - charming responses to his inquires and jests. “As much fun as one can with unstable molecules.”

“Better the molecules be unstable rather than the professor.”

You laughed, using your hand to cover the sound and wide mouthed expression that came along with it. Yixing dipped his head to hide a proud grin of his own. The professor walked in at that moment. You scolded yourself for not going through your speech before class had started. Yixing had distracted you. It might feel as needed now, but you still felt the urge to say the words. 

And that distraction was continuing on through the period.

He wasn’t doing anything in particular, besides simply existing. Occasionally while taking notes or flipping the pages of the textbook, his elbow would bump into yours. You would mouth “sorry” before dropping your eyes down to the paper. He never looked like he was annoyed or bothered by it. At one point, you wondered if he was doing it on purpose.

Like the last time, Professor Jiang assigned the review questions at the end of the chapter to be completed during the final fifteen minutes. It took you almost that entire time to figure out the answers. You had to keep flipping back through the chapter and skim the passages to find them. You were definitely going to have to make a note to review this later if any of it was going to stick.  

“Are you done?” Yixing asked once he saw that your pencil was down.

“Yeah.” Your confidence in your answers wasn’t as high as last time. To your surprise, though, your answers were more or less the same as Yixing’s. Maybe something did get absorbed during the lecture. 

Taking your paper, he shuffled it on top of his to show you that he would once again turn it in for you. A pattern was beginning to form, but you didn’t want to read into it too deeply. 

Okay. It was now or never. Although, you’d forgotten large chunks of your speech, you were going to go through with it.

“Yixing?” You barely made it above a whisper, but he heard you anyway.

“Hm?”

“I just wanted to say that I was sorry. About earlier. I didn’t mean to make it look like I was trying to be rude or that I wasn’t appreciative of your….” You lost the word you were going to say. The others that you grasped on to made you cringe. Niceness? Politeness? Pity? Thankfully, Yixing didn’t need you to finish.

“It’s alright. I’m not upset. I realize that I might have come on too strongly.”

“No, no, you didn’t.”

“No, I’m sure I did. Next time, if you like walking alone, you can tell me to go away.”

You didn’t like the idea of telling him to go away. You actually kind of liked him walking you to class, now that you’d had time to reflect back on it. The gesture gave you the same vibe that teen romances had given you in high school; a strange fluttering that usually only existed in daydreams.

You weren’t sure how to respond, so you gave a silent reply in the form of a small smile. Yixing took it as a good sign like you meant it to be. Then you remembered the piece of clothing you still had of his. You started to sleep out of the sleeves, but Yixing stopped you.

“Keep it. It’s not going to get any warmer today.”

You could feel your face exploding with heat. What did that mean, exactly? Obviously, you understood the direct context, but was there another meaning behind his kind intention? Whispers erupted behind you before you could really think it through. You peeked over your shoulder to see two girls staring at you as they spoke softly to each other. Their volume was too low for you to make out what they were saying, but their eyes said enough. A few flickers toward Yixing and it was easy to interpret: they were trying to figure out why someone like him was acting this way towards you.

Curious as to what had stolen your attention, Yixing looked back at the girls as well. At their continued whispering, he narrowed his eyes and then shifted his stool closer to you. It felt… protective, almost possessive. Not in a way that made you want to lean away. It was more like he was silently standing up for you. The girls immediately snapped their mouths closed and pulled out their phones. Yixing caught your eye one more time, making you smile. Professor Jiang called time on the period and you found yourself very unwilling to move from that spot. And, it seemed, neither was Yixing.

**

Yixing ran through the trees with pure giddiness and elation flowing through his fur.

Things couldn’t have gone better this past week and a half. You were opening up to him more, talking to him without long pauses in between and letting him walk you to classes, even if they were in the opposite direction of his own. You hadn’t given him his jacket back, but he took that as a wonderful thing. He wouldn’t have taken it back anyway. There were still things that you were holding onto, things that you hadn’t let slip in your conversations. That hardly deterred him. It would take time. These things didn’t just happen. Eventually you would let him in all the way and he would show you his true self. It was only a matter of-

Yixing stopped. Out of nowhere, his vision had blurred, blackspots covering bits of the forest. He wavered from side to side as he tried to regain his footing. The tree shifted back and forth like a teeter-totter. He pushed himself forward. He needed to get back to the house. But only a few steps and his head exploded with pain. He whimpered and, after a minute or so, he fell to the ground and the blackness took over.

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (Epilogue 2)

Epilogue 2

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9, ch 10, ch 11, ch 12, ch 13, ch 14, ch 15, ch 16, ch 17, ch 18, ch 19, ch 20, ch 21, ch 22, ch 23, epilogue, epilogue 2

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 1,053

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France, human trafficking

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j  @daechwitad-2​ @zobadak​ @fallenstar-7​​​

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing...

Jungkook was waiting for her outside the building, a rose in his hand. Catalina’s nose scrunched into a smile as she skipped down the stone steps.

France was overwhelming; the architecture everywhere was ancient and beautiful, and the history was fascinating and rich. The people were a bit rude, especially once they realized they were Americans. They were only a bit more forgiving when Namjoon, Taehyung, and Yoongi showed off their fluent French.

The theater Catalina had her audition in was stunning. The outside was all white columns and friezes, the inside was mosaic tiled floors and painted ceilings.

               When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she dropped her dance bag and threw herself into Jungkook’s arms.

               “You got me a rose?” she asked, leaning back just enough to look at the rose in his hand.

               “Of course I got you a rose,” he said. “You think I’d let you step out of an audition without a rose?”  

               Catalina giggled and took the flower from him.

               “How did it go? Did you get in?” he asked.

               “I don’t know yet,” said Catalina. “They’re going to do callbacks in a few days.”

               “Good thing we’re staying for a while,” said Jungkook.

               “But honestly, it doesn’t matter if I get in or not,” said Catalina. “There’s always next year. And There’s always plenty of shows.”

               “Yeah, you have all the time in the world,” said Jungkook. He stared at her for a moment, then whispered, “I want you to turn me.”

               “Oh yeah?” Catalina asked. She had been waiting for this. She knew that he was worried about aging without her, she could see it his eyes sometimes when they went to bed together, knowing she wouldn’t fall asleep. She especially saw it on his birthday. “You’re still young.”

               “I know, but I’m already the same age as you now,” he said.

               “Oh no! You’re the same age as me! You basically have one foot in the grave already!” Catalina giggled.  “You should take your time. You get hotter every year. Let yourself ripen a bit before doing this.”

               He laughed loudly and tugged her closer.

               “That’s true,” he said.

               “Wait until we both graduate,” said Catalina. “We can talk then.”

               “You’re pulling an Edward on me?” he said. “Next thing I know, it’ll be, ‘wait until we’re married’.”

               Catalina giggled and swatted his arm. “You’re being a baby.”

               “I know. I’m kidding,” he said. “I can wait.”

               “Besides, we need time to explore the wonders of blood drinking during sex,” she said. “Did you know there’s aphrodisiacs in the venom when you drink from someone? It’s supposed to make them pliant, but it doesn’t turn them into a vampire.”

               “That sounds hot,” said Jungkook. “Also, I am a fan of being manhandled. I’m not ready for that to end just yet.”

               “I know. We might need a chaperone though,” she said, tapping her chin. “I don’t know if I’d be able to stop once I got started. You smell way too good.”

               “We have plenty of time to work out the specifics,” said Jungkook. “I need time to get hotter each year, so we’ll figure it out.”

               They both laughed as they went to the car waiting for them.

~~~~~~~~~~~

               Taehyung loved the Louvre. It was like a dream come true, wandering the unending corridors, seeing all the classics he’s idolized for hundreds of years.

               “Taehyungie, what’s this one called?” Jimin asked. His hand was covering the informational plaque under a series of paintings depicting a man looking at a celestial globe. Jimin had been doing this for hours, but Taehyung didn’t mind. He loved sharing what he knew about all his favorite pieces.

               “That’s ‘The Astronomer’, by Vermeer,” said Taehyung. Jimin smiled and strolled ahead down the corridor, in search of his next quiz. It was a weekday, so the museum wasn’t very busy. There was a tour group of young students, which Taehyung and Jimin ran into a few times, but otherwise there were only a few stray artists wandering around doing sketches of the statues.

               In the back of his mind, Taehyung knew that the rest of their group was supposed to meet them here at some point, but Taehyung and Jimin were so far into the maze of art that he wouldn’t even know how to direct them once they arrived. He wasn’t worried about it either. He was having too much fun with Jimin to care about the others right now.

               Every moment spent with Jimin was special to him. He still couldn’t believe sometimes how quickly Jimin had reassured and forgiven Taehyung; he was so sure Jimin would hate him for making that decision for him. And while Jimin was struggling getting used to his new life, he made it clear that he was thankful to be alive, that he was excited to spend forever with Taehyung.

               “What about this one?” Jimin asked. Taehyung strolled over to look at what painting Jimin was at.

               “‘St. Michael Vanquishing Satan’,” said Taehyung. “Raphael.”

               Jimin continued down the hall, eyes flitting across each painting. Taehyung was most excited to see David; he heard that the statue was way bigger in person than one would expect.

               Taehyung stopped. The painting he was looking at made his eyes widen and his mouth fall open. The plaque said that the artist was unknown. Jimin must have noticed that Taehyung had stopped moving, because he wandered over, letting out a gasp when he saw the painting.

               They didn’t say anything for a while. The school group wandered past behind them, the children’s voices bouncing off the stone walls.

               “Hey, that guy looks just like you!” a voice shouted from behind them. Jimin turned around to talk with the girl, who was pointing at Taehyung. Taehyung didn’t take his eyes off the picture though. He felt a tear roll down his face.

               “Can I take a picture of you with that painting?” the little girl asked. Taehyung wiped the tear from his cheek and nodded, turning around to face the girl. She lifted her phone and snapped a picture. She gave them a toothy smile before running to catch up with her classmates.

               “Is this Adrianna’s work?” Jimin asked. Taehyung nodded. He turned back around to stare at the painting of himself with his dog.

.

.

.

.

.

A/N:

And that’s a wrap! Thank you to everyone reading this and sticking with me during this story. Reading the comments was my favorite part of this journey. 

This story is officially novel length! I’ve never accomplished that before with a complete work! I’ll be posting this story on Wattpad, and I’m also thinking of changing names and adding scenes to make this a publishable work, so keep your eyes out for updates on that!

[smollestnerd]

XigXem SFW Headcanons

I love doing these to get ideas for headcanons I wouldn’t normally consider, and since I finished filling these out today I thought I’d share! Borrowed from the @otp-imagines-cult post here!

(Just a heads-up, this is a messy mashup of canon-compliant and modern au headcanons)

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?

Xemnas spends so much money on Xigbar. He doesn't even try to say no at this point, he knows Xig will get his way.

Xigbar sometimes feels guilty about how much Xemnas spends on him, but those feelings fade as soon as Xem comes back from shopping with bags full of gifts for Xig.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

Xigbar sleeps in Xemnas’s lap. It's rare that it's the other way around, usually only if Xem is extremely tired or upset (he'll fall asleep while being comforted and held of course).

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?

They both do. Well, Xigbar runs around HALF naked, Xemnas is just full frontal at any given point if they’re home alone. Xig will tell him to cover up, but he doesn't ever mean it.

When they have guests, Xigbar is fully clothed 100% of the time. Xemnas, though? There’s always at least a 10% chance he’ll forget wearing a shirt is a thing people expect from him. Everyone is either too afraid or horny to tell him to put one on, thus the responsibility falls on Xigbar to tell him. (Again, about a 10% chance he’ll “forget” to tell him to put on a shirt.)

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

Bold of you to assume they both don't have 11pm bedtimes.

But every so often Xemnas will lose himself in his work and suddenly it's 3am.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

Xigbar is forbidden from cooking anything that isn't microwaveable.

Xemnas's fallback career was fancy chef if “Superior of the In-Between” didn’t work out.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?

Neither, but only because neither of them are very online. I think if they were though, Xemnas would see their relationship in everything but not say anything out loud. He just smiles to himself and moves on.

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?

Xigbar is an accomplished hoodie thief. Xemnas wears Xig’s croptops sometimes to work out in, but always returns them when he's done.

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”

Xemnas is usually the one running errands, but he rarely forgets anything on the list. Xigbar always asks if he remembered everything, though, just to soothe his own anxiety, and quietly hoping to catch Xemnas slipping up so he has something to tease about.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?

Xigbar drives ever since Xemnas got his license suspended for running too many red lights.

Or; Xig drives like a maniac and Xem is just so used to it he doesn't even bother to insist on driving anymore (unless he's the designated driver, which usually he is). Xem is lowkey surprised Xig has a clean driving record.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?

Xemnas poses, Xigbar draws. Xig’s had plenty of lifetimes to perfect his hobbies, and even though he hasn't had time for them in a while, it doesn't take long for him to get back into the swing of things. What better way to capture his lover's radiance than through charcoal drawings and oil paints?

Plus, Xemnas absolutely adores the attention. He just basks in the glory of another being finding him beautiful enough to immortalize on canvas.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?

I want to say Xemnas is the super cool backflip guy and Xigbar is the one with the chips, but honestly? It's the other way around. Xig likes to show off in front of his man, and who could blame him?

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?

Xemnas overdoes it. He doesn't drink nearly as often as Xigbar does, so he doesn't exactly know his limits. Xig tries to keep his eye on him and make sure he doesn't drink too much, but unfortunately Xem is REALLY good at acting sober, so Xig never realizes Xem has overdone it until its too late.

He takes really good care of Xemnas, though, no matter how drunk he is himself.

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

Xemnas and Xigbar both surprise each other quite often. Xigbar gives Xemnas little things like seashells and shiny baubles he finds on missions/outings that he thinks Xemnas will like for his office shelves. Xemnas sends Xigbar flowers when he senses Xig having a bad day, and buys him every new book that Xigbar expresses even a passing interest in.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?

Xemnas. He's definitely the romantic here. He's got an Entire Notebook filled with different combinations of their names squashed together.

Xigbar is lowkey terrified of major commitment. He'd say yes if proposed to of course, but he'd never offer himself up like that.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?

Xemnas saves it, Xigbar just squishes it. Neither are afraid but they have different approaches to dealing with bugs.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?

On most cold days you can find Xigbar wearing a too-big leather coat and Xemnas in naught but a t-shirt or turtleneck.

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

Ansem tried. He tried so hard. But he severely underestimated Xigbar’s resistance to intimidation tactics.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?

Xemnas. He planned out a whole mega-elaborate date for the two of them, and confessed his love for Xigbar.

Xigbar: "Wait we weren't dating already??"

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?

They would make fantastic fathers, they'd care about their kids so much. But christ alive that household would be chaotic as all fuck.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

Xemnas used to type with perfect grammar and spelling until he learned about text lingo. "It's more efficient, Xigbar, I am a busy man and don't have time to type everything out." It's a damn lie, though, he just thinks it's neat.

Hell will freeze over the day that Xemnas uses an emoji.

Xigbar relies on emojis and autocorrect and if it doesn't catch a typo or he sends the wrong emoji, “Oh well.”

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?

The bully gets attacked by them.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?

Xigbar is the pun king. Genuinely funny. “10/10 would hear again.” -Xemnas, probably

Xemnas tries sometimes, bless his soul. Xigbar just doesn't have it in him to tell him they're bad.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

To Xigbar's dismay, this has happened more than once. He's the dad that is against the pet but ends up loving it, and Xemnas just can't resist bringing home strays.

They have 2 big dogs, a little dog, and a cat, and have fostered a few puppies and old, sickly cats here and there.

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

When Xemnas gets too drunk to stand, Xigbar will give him a piggyback ride, but he never tells him the next day. Xemnas is too prideful and would be very ashamed to hear of it. Plus, Xigbar kinda likes keeping those moments between them to himself; like a secret he’s keeping safe for a special occasion.

Xigbar will ask for piggyback rides all the time, and Xemnas is happy to indulge him.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?

When Xemnas cheers for Xigbar, it's less overzealous and more normal cheering, it's just that Xemnas' voice is booming and carries over the rest of the crowd with ease.

(Don’t ask me what competitive activity Xigbar does, for I Do Not Know)

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?

They both do. The main difference is that Xemnas focuses the camera on Xigbar, and Xigbar gets them both fully in the shot.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

Both of them would be willing to give the other a makeover, but neither of them have asked.

But! Xemnas does Xigbar’s makeup sometimes, and Xigbar has bought his own style of clothes for Xemnas on a few occasions, just to see what he’d look like.

(Unrelated sidenote: they have matching onesies with cat ears and a tail that Xigbar refuses to wear unless he has to, or unless Xem asks him while Xig is wasted)

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

Before they moved in together, Xigbar refused to go inside Xemnas's house unless his husky was in the backyard. He got used to her over time, and now Xemnas sometimes comes home to them asleep cuddling on the couch.

Xemnas was never actually afraid of Xigbar's beloved corn snake, but he wasn't a fan either. He’d hold him, but he wasn’t thrilled about it.

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

Xemnas holds the umbrella, Xigbar holds the Xemnas

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?

In a canon setting they’d go worldhopping for a week, but in a modern au they'd take trips every year to cities and small remote locations around the world.

They've never been properly camping though. Xemnas refuses.

Their first trip together was small, just to a little known beach on the west coast. They lounged on the beach most of the time, and every night they ate at a different food truck. The last night they were there Xemnas surprised Xigbar with reservations for the fanciest 5-star restaurant in the city.

Xigbar thought he took all the pictures until he was going through them after the trip, only to find over half the memory card filled with photos of himself that Xemnas took when he wasn't looking

[rokutouxei]

the other van gogh

part 4 of: atelier heart

ikemen vampire: temptation in the dark theodorus van gogh / mc, theo & vincent | gen | 2403 | [ao3 in bio]

spoiler warning: this fic references scenes from theo’s main route chapters 3, 8, and 18.

You’d heard about Theo before you’d gone to the mansion.

Not by name, no, not by history either. You’d gone to museums with Vincent’s paintings and had read a few descriptions of historical context here and there but for the most part you had heard about his brother with a peculiar moniker.

The Other van Gogh.

When you’d met him that night at the mansion, the roots of guilt began to implant itself into your heart. And with every second you spent with Theo afterwards, knee-deep in his work, the guilt had birthed in its wake curiosity—as to why he was known for his brother, and not for whatever he had done on his own.

Why Arthur would not stop with his brother-complex jokes. Why everyone thought this was normal. Why no one asked questions—why this was just fact.

What did they know that you didn’t? What made Vincent mean so much to Theo to begin with?

Of course, the kind of brotherly connection and support that siblings do have isn’t really news to you, but you could see at a glance that this was different. That they weren’t just brothers, they were partners, and it seemed that Theo derived so much meaning in his life from Vincent’s existence, like he couldn’t hold himself up if not for his older brother.

But why?

If there is anything the passing of time has taught to its scholars, whether they are the ones spending unending hours and days and years in libraries, cooped up, comparing texts from each other, extracting and analysing and cross-referencing, or if they are the ones who are constantly out on the field, making notes, remembering everything, writing everything down to memory—it is that nothing, nothing, can ever truly be captured in its full historical detail. There are always things that will be missed, overlooked, misunderstood, things that no amount of work on history will ever be able to recover.

That is the weakness of the human perspective. Not everyone will write these histories, and there will be many, many experiences that will never be known.

Theo’s, perhaps, is included in those.

You don’t have much knowledge in history to begin with, but the guilt of not having recognized that first night in the banquet continued to gnaw at you, worsening now that you’re spending even more time with him compared to everyone else, and yet you still feel like you knew even less than you started with.

You have an argument, but even to you, it is weak: that the rest of them are pretty  much names you would not have been able to escape in the 21st century educational system. Isaac Newton, of course, the discoverer of gravity. Jean d’Arc, the great martyr. Leonardo da Vinci, with his paintings and sculptures. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, whose songs you started humming in childhood. William Shakespeare, sometimes called the greatest writer in the English language. Napoleon Bonaparte, perhaps one of the greatest military commanders in history. Arthur Conan Doyle, the author of the famous Sherlock Holmes. And even Dazai Osamu is pretty recognized as an author too, as far as you knew. And Vincent van Gogh—of course, one of the most renowned artists in the world.

But Theo?

While Vincent was a myth, Theo remained largely untold.

Look, you weren’t a history scholar, and considering your work back in the 21st century, this kind of knowledge was and is entirely out of your radius of practical information. You really didn’t have much reason to know about it. It’s just a niche that you’re not in. And that’s entirely fine, you tell yourself, no single human ought to know everything about the world—except, perhaps, if you’re Leonardo da Vinci, who seems to have an answer for everything, but that was beside the point.

For the longest time, these missing bits of his history left unknown to you, matched with the fact that Theo isn’t exactly the kind of person who is easy to get to know, made your efforts of really, really doing your best to get closer to him feel like you were instead making friends with a wall.

A tall, handsome, strong, passionate, smart, ocean blue-eyed, ridiculously rude wall, but a wall nonetheless.

Or a closed door.

Until Vincent opened it for you.

-

It was in response to your bewilderment. When one is a sadist and the other one is an angel, it is easy to wonder how they would be related. The day you go out to the flower fields to deliver painting supplies to Vincent is the day he tells you that “I know Theo’s easy to misunderstand, but he’s a really nice kid, so please be friends with him okay?”

And while the instinct is to say no thanks, Vincent’s not exactly the person you can say no to, so you let it go. And on that very same day Theo had allowed you to see a part of him, one you wondered if he ever really ardently shows anyone else, talking about sunrises and the art world and what he can do. What he wants to do. A little glimpse, a peek of what’s hidden inside, but not enough—barely enough—to satiate your own curiosity.

And you, silly, silly little hondje—Theo is right when he says you don’t know just how much trouble you walk into—you take this little curiosity as a challenge.

So you watch.

Watch what history has missed.

-

Mastering the art of looking at art with a critical eye is one that is honed over time. But with a teacher both as strict and as passionate as Theo, it is a skill that you quickly pick up. Learning the implications of certain gestures; the observation of the tiniest details; the effects of colors; of sharpening one’s gut.

You thought it would be hard.

Or at least, much easier said than done, especially when the man frustratingly keeps calling you dog or snack or any variation of the both of that when he only has miles and miles of praises for his older brother. You were, are, and will obviously be at an entirely different level than Vincent for as long as you will be here. (Not that you minded. Why would you mind it?)

But it isn’t hard at all.

It’s rather easy.

The easiest things to see are their differences. Of course—it’s always like that. That’s exactly why it’s so easy to misunderstand Theo at face value. Where Vincent’s smile is sunny and warm, Theo has a glare that makes flowers wilt. While Vincent likes his pancakes plain and with butter, Theo can get thirty lifetimes worth of sugar for the amount of syrup he puts on his pancakes. Where Vincent is approachable and perhaps a little airheaded, Theo is guarded, distrustful, wary. While Vincent’s words are soft and kind and gentle like wildflowers are, Theo has the formality of roses but also their barbs and thorns.

But the days turn into weeks and your eyes get trained to see past that. Get used to seeing the gentle rays of sunlight illuminating their irises when they look back at each other, talking about art. Vincent sees the softest sides of Theo, see where his thorns give way to flowers, where his distrust smooths into blind faith.

And you want to see that too.

So you practice.

Start with catching the little details like how Theo walks with his hands in his pockets. Or the way he casually adjusts his tie right before he enters a room before a meeting with a client like he’s psyching himself up. Or maybe the way he bites the inside of his cheek when he’s deep in thought, the lines that form on his forehead when he’s squinting so hard at a painting through his magnifying glass. Or the little tug of a smirk he cannot resist when he gets complimented, the one he so subtly and ever so quickly washes away with a neutral face in a second.

Then you catch other things, too. Like how if you matter any single bit to Theo, you can get him to do pretty much anything, bending himself backward over if you ask him. How he pays attention to things that matter to him, down to the littlest detail, like an artist’s changing focus, a shift in style, a change in technique. And how Theo has a dream and it’s one of the only two things he really, really believes in. (The other is his brother.)

You thought it would be impossible to see Theo through Vincent’s eyes, but.

Eventually you do.

You don’t know where it begins, but it begins somewhere. Maybe on that evening you’d gone up the atelier and seen the candlelight shine on his prideful, confident boyish grin, as if he knew all the answers for certain. Or maybe it was later, standing in the garden laughing because how is it that Theo van Gogh, so strong and imposing and scary is now pinned onto the grass with the most playful golden retriever you have ever seen?

But that’s the important part. You start seeing it.

The same way Theo could tell the painting was a fake at first glance that morning at Cedric’s.

And the wall is still tall and opaque and hard to climb but—

You can sort of see the sunlight peering over it.

-

On the day of the storm, in between antiseptic and rolls of gauze, silence permeates the library like a dense fog. The only sound you can really quite hear besides the thunder outside is your thumping heart, racing as if in time with Theo’s labored breathing.

There are too many questions to ask. You want to ask him why he does all of this. You want to ask him if it is worth it. And you don’t know the order in which to ask them, which ones are the ones you have to hear, but you do.

Theo, for a brief moment, opens up to you.

Allows you to see the red of his wounds and his roses. See the garden, not his thorns.

But before the two of you could head out to your rooms, to go back to bed and pretend none of this had happened, you hold the first-aid kit in your hands and turn to him, already putting his bloodied jacket on, and ask the question you had long feared asking, the one whose answer you worried you really didn’t deserve knowing.

You ask, “Why is it that you’re so fixated on Vincent?”

There’s a moment of held-breath silence, then Theo answers.

“Because I made a choice that day, and he is all I have left.”

-

The next day, you catch Vincent in the garden painting. You hesitate at the doorway wondering if you should interrupt him, but eventually decide that this is something you ought to tell him, out of respect.

“I wanted to say sorry,” you say, sitting next to him on the grass. Vincent turns to you with confusion in his eyes.

“What about?”

“When we were at the flower fields, and I asked you and Theo if you were really brothers—I thought about it a lot the past few days, and I think finally see what you mean,” you say. “About Theo.”

Vincent smiles, the smile of someone who knows more than they let on.

-

(A lifetime ago, in the middle of a seaside town when everything was falling apart around him, Vincent had only one person holding him up, and that was his brother. They were young then—but felt much too old, older than they were. Youth was not gentle with them, and for the most part they spend much of their lives making up for times they spent less kind to one another. Dreaming for the children they used to be, the ones they would have wanted to nurture, but cannot anymore.

The seaside town where their paths were linked and then diverged. They were teenagers, walking alongside the mill, hiding in stockrooms, listening to the crash of the waves against the Dutch shores.

And a full lifetime ago, long after they’d grown out of the old family home, Vincent had taken up his pen and had written to Theo:

We’re quite distant from one another, and in certain respects we may have different ways of seeing, but nevertheless, sometimes or some day one of us might be able to be of use to the other. For today, I shake your hand, thanking you again for the kindness you’ve shown me.

The salt in the air, the gray paths, the winding roads, they all remain.)

-

If there is anything the passing of time has taught to its scholars, whether they are the ones spending unending hours and days and years in libraries, cooped up, comparing texts from each other, extracting and analysing and cross-referencing, or if they are the ones who are constantly out on the field, making notes, remembering everything, writing everything down to memory—it is that nothing, nothing, can ever truly be captured in its full historical detail. There are always things that will be missed, overlooked, misunderstood, things that no amount of work on history will ever be able to recover.

That is the weakness of the human perspective. Not everyone will write these histories, and there will be many, many experiences that will never be known.

And because of this the world might only remember Vincent after all. Might only remember he had a brother that stood by him but had nothing in comparison to the legacy of paintings that once were piled up in that said brother’s small Paris home. Might only think that the entire story only revolves around Vincent, and that there is only Vincent and then the other van Gogh.

The world might not know him by name.

But it’s okay.

You hold his face in your hands, that night he tells you he’s sworn to throw everything away for Vincent. The van Gogh that wasn’t the Other one. The name of the feeling you hadn’t wanted to put into words tasting like blood in your mouth.

Theo can do what he wants.

And the world can forget.

But you will remember.

And to at least one person—he will not just be the other van Gogh.

--

in the atelier: Two children on the beach by Pierre van Dijk

[judesstfrancis]

so I was late to asking u things and I don't want u to have to repeat yourself so answer all the questions in the thing that you haven't already answered thank u 😌

the way I had to pull out my laptop to answer these bc I couldn’t keep them straight on my phone clipboard................ fdskjfsdkj I think I’m gonna put most of these under a read more so they don’t take up too much dash space. thank u!! <3

zinc white; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please!

honestly I’m great! it is currently almost 2 in the morning but my day was nice, I got some new clothes, did my laundry, made a good dinner...good vibes all around, loving it for me rn

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of!

I haven’t really listened to a lot of new music lately dkfjskj I think the most recent new artist I started listening to was orville peck?? but that was back in like february

naples yellow; where do you feel most at home?

uhh when I’m at home. yes I’m a homebody <3

raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home? 

truly it’s with the thots I just feel so at ease

golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend.

it’s just easy, u know? like no matter what we’re doing, even if we’re just vibing on our own together, it’s nice. I can tell them absolutely anything and it’s not weird and I don’t have to force it out at all

cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off?

ok first I always see if any of my friends are busy fkdjsfkj and if they aren’t I see if they wanna just chill or w/e but otherwise just like. turning some music up and sitting in my room with a book/a couple movies I love is ideal for me on a day off. I am very simple I just like to chill

orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad?

yes! there are two whole people in this world that I spill absolutely everything to bc I trust them with my life and esp when I’m sad bc they always make me feel better. talking to them when I’m having A Day is like I vent and instantly I am normal again. they know who they are I’m sure but for transparency’s sake, it’s u (robin) and maya, no one else gets to unlock my tragic backstories <3

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings? 

relaxing evenings!

shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything? 

actually I am currently rewatching cycles 1 through 22 of america’s next top model, I’m on like cycle 5 rn I think. having the time of my life, thanks for asking

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)?

I am very much more into creative endeavors, like work-wise, but I feel like the way I think about things is much more analytical. like I prefer Making things, writing or various crafts or what have u, but even when I create I think about the things I’m doing like analytically?? so ig left-brained

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it? 

boy with squirrel by john singleton copley. I love him

english red; what animal do you relate to most?

interesting question! I have no idea. maybe birds? like a finch, maybe. they seem like they have fun

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other? 

this one is hard for me to answer bc like. I truly have no idea what a “type” is idk if that’s an ace thing or what. no? maybe? all the people I’ve had crushes on have been vastly different, in terms of like physical looks so probably not actually. I’m not attracted to muscular people tho bc I don’t think they have feelings <3

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like?

once again I have never pictured a date. I just want to hold hands! I think for the ideal first date question I said it just had to be going somewhere where we could Do things together, like walking around a museum or going through shops downtown or something, and that does still apply here, but for the sake of shaking it up, uhh...idk maybe staying in and watching a movie. like not at a theater no one needs to know my business like that but like. at a House. whoever’s, I’m not picky, again ideally I just want to hold hands.

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date?

yes. literally if the first thing u do is kiss me I am okay with it. I’m 23 someone just take the shot and kiss me already I’m going crazy over here

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to? 

really looking forward to the holidays personally I got everyone some really good gifts this year and I can’t wait to hand them out. also my copy of 13 storeys is supposed to finally ship out this week, for real this time! so that’s exciting too

violet rose; what does your dream house look like? 

u know that idealized house with the yellow paint and the white trim? yes. just small and cute and homey

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down? 

I guess not?? I’d like to be somewhere near my mom bc she’s important to me but like. as long as I’m living with someone I love it doesn’t really matter where I don’t think

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down?

uh. settling down to me equates to like falling in love and living together so honestly that could happen any time. I need to get a job before we live together so I can like Help Out but like. really any time

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to?

I have not been to a lot of places! I’ve been to new york, and san diego, and like. phoenix outside of where I live so. actually if I can include like buildings in places I would like to say that one opera house I went to in new york. I learned I wasn’t a fan of operas BUT I also learned those chandeliers were cool as hell

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it?

I’m usually in a good mood, I think? my baseline mood is genuinely just like. happy/chill, pero I think the last time I felt Euphoria (tm) was a couple days ago when my mom and I made a really nice dinner together and my brother was there and we just played board games all night

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember?

I have this recurring habit of waking up from dreams but only barely so when I fall back asleep it feels like I just woke up within the dream? anyway the last one was like that but in one of the times I ‘woke up’ I looked out the window and instead of outside there was like this. static photo of buffalo grazing in open fields?? and it was like green screened kinda, so when I move the image moved with my line of sight it was weird. that’s how I knew it was a dream and woke myself up again, only to immediately fall back asleep and feel like I was waking up from a dream within a dream again

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each?

I think living with friends would be cool. like I want to have a significant other I live with but also if we lived with other friends that would be fun. kids, maybe! would be something I’d have to discuss with whatever partner I have in the future. if yes to kids, max two. also I don't want babies, preferably I would adopt older children. pets absolutely, however many doesn’t matter. I’m open to just living in a house with the love of my life and like twelve dogs, that’s ok with me

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could?

I do like my name! I think it’s nice and it feels like it fits me. I don’t think I’d change it ever, but if I did I think maybe I’d go with jude bc yes I do love to project <3

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent?

it’s a tie between suntan lotion and the lumber aisle of any hardware store

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any?

vanilla rooibos tea supremacy!

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant?

lots of flowers, first of all. also some kitchen herbs. maybe some fruits!

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog?

yes <3 I want to force people to listen to my pretentious horror opinions and get paid for it

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives.

look I just have to say it: I’m hot. last night I took a photo and saw my nose from the side and went “omg who IS she” like it’s cute. I’M cute. I’ve seen my ass in the mirror and nothing can top it, sorry

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario?

all I’m getting is those scenes from horror movies where eerie whistling starts and like birds start going crazy

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better?

I think so?? I’d like to be more financially secure, pero. I think for the most part yeah I’m alright

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them?

ireland and greece for sure, ireland is the one I have most planned out in my head. ig maybe england for the third one, just bc I know my mom wants to go and also I’m very bad at geography so I don’t know what counts as a country. I had to look all these up, I do want to visit them tho, genuinely! esp ireland

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn?

the one I’m most fluent in is spanish! and I’m still cracking along at russian, currently I can hold a conversation with like a 4 year old and we can understand each other, it’s pretty cool. I really wanna get into learning irish!! I have a few resources downloaded onto my phone I just haven’t gotten around to it yet

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book?

a little life <3 yes I hate it when things are sad just to be sad yes this is my favorite book I contain multitudes

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh?

the burbs! I’ve seen it so many times but it always hits

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself?

the day IS over it’s like two thirty am now but uh. drink some water before I sleep probably

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent?

I post the “kirby’s fucking pissed” meme on twitter and then I ask u (robin) if I can yell for like five minutes and then I feel valid and then I am normal again

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic?

it’s a little bit jock and it’s a little bit 1980s skater boy but the best way I can really Describe it is just “gay”

[a-stitch-in-time-and-space]

Grashir for the ship thing? It’s gotta be one of my faves!!!

Sorry for the wait babe, hope this makes up for it!

1. Who’s in your ship and is it monogamous, poly, open, etc?

Okay, so as per usual with my ships I’ve got the version where it’s just the two of them (after about 100 years in which they don’t pull themselves together!) and another version in which they live in the future and I very much hc that by then the way love is discussed looks different to today, so they’re a part of various relationships.

However, I always think they’re like gravity to one another. For better or for worse - (and has anyone done any tragic Garashir fics or are we all just like “the show was tragic enough” - cos I’m wonder about like… the way people can be constantly drawn to each other in a dysfunctional, unhealthy way, but they also just can’t let one another go) - they always get pulled into one another’s orbit more than by anyone else.

2. Is the ship romantic in nature?

They’re a pair of romantic bastards underneath all the posturing and avoidance yes! I imagine once they finally pull themselves together it’s all romance, trying to make up for years of lost time.

3. How often do/can they see each other (due to living on different planets, having stressful jobs, etc)

I wrote a little fic about this yaaay!

Not very often, is the answer, until they’re both hitting old-age and sort of semi-retiring. Then gravity wins and eventually has them together for good.

4. What are their things to do together?

- Arguing! Canon! (I love ships that argue lol).

- Recommending books and art and going to museums and judging paintings. They’d so be a crotchety pair that makes fun of some really pretentious bit of art right in front of them, while someone next to them tries not to giggleand someone else keeps sending them disapproving glares.

- Garak one time sets up an exhibition for Ziyal’s work, in honour of all the young people lost in the war before they could reach their potential.

- Also occasionally getting wrapped up in a plot inside an enigma, within a scheme that neither of them necessarily signed up for, but they’re going to ride out together (sexy spy times, anyone?)

5. How do they say “I love you” without directly saying “I love you”?

- Hey remember the time Elim gave Julian a rationed chocolate bar and then, because he was going on some dangerous mission, Julian gifted it back to him and then Elim made a joke about Julian needing to eat an isolinear rod and then they smiled at each other like they were the most carefree people in the galaxy even though they were in the middle of a dangerous conflict that both of them might not survive? That’s love, bitch

- I think they get dumb gifts for each other a lot for when they see each other again

- also they’re both very competitive, so it’s like “who can get the dumbest gift,” morphs into “who can get the most amazing gift ever,” morphs into “who can write the most flowery, poetic letter,” etcetcetc.

- Admitting the other one won is another expression of love.

6. Who unironically likes old earth movies and who suffers along?

Hmmmmm, so I think. Julian shows Elim more earth culture, which includes movies (he’s semi-canon into Bond) and Elim complains and pretends he doesn’t like them, but then Julian catches him watching the 1995 Pride & Prejudice and mooning over Colin Firth. (He dies when Julian shows him North & South)

7. Are any of them spiritual and any of them decidedly not?

Elim is canonically spiritual post-series (everyone needs to read A Stitch In Time!!!) and Julian never quite understands it. He’s happy that Elim has something for himself that couldn’t be destroyed by his upbringing, but Julian is just relentlessly scientific about everything – it’s not (because this is Star Trek and DS9 literally has Gods in it) that he doesn’t think there are higher powers of some kind, it’s the spiritual side – the praying, the afterlife, the rituals, none of that works for him. Also he sees the “Gods” as aliens.

“And have you proven love then?” asks Garak

“Hmm, I’ll have to run some more tests before I can give you a definitive conclusion,” answers Bashir, before kissing him.

8. Who’s more open about their affection and who’s more taciturn, but shows affection through unconventional means?

I think they’re both quite affectionate actually. They probably both suffer from not feeling good enough around third parties sometimes, especially in the beginning. Not all of the DS9 crew were happy about it at first (although Nerys was ecstatic, as she and Elim had become surprisingly good friends post-Dominion), which is a feeling that lingers in Elim’s heart.

And on Cardassia Elim is considered a bit weird to have gone for an outsider, who – worse – is federation and human. There are many who blame the federation and humans in particular for their trouble, even if they are providing aid now. So Julian tries to make his job easier for him by staying behind the scenes… at first.

So in public they try to be taciturn, discreet, especially once Elim becomes a political figure-head, but then after some time this becomes a game, “secret lovers.” They find ways to sneakily contact the other – letters, gifts, flowers (obnoxiously large bouquets), coded messages and as they become more brazen, they seem to just naturally throw caution to the wind – if people can’t accept it, then they’re not people they want to get to know anyway.

In private they’re absolutely immediately an old married couple, except for with more desperation, because they’re making up for time they don’t get in one another’s company.

9. Who likes space and who prefers a good ol’ planet?

Julian will always be a space-farer at heart, whilst Elim belongs on Cardassia

10. Finally, what are their favourite things about one another?

The more I think about it, the more they’re quite similar – I think what they most love is that the other one drives them to be better. Passion, kindness, learning… they want to make one another proud.

- More simple things though. Elim loves Julian in the midst of a rant or an explanation that’s gone on for 10+ minutes, at his most gesticulative, most intense; it’s sexy as hell. Also Julian when he’s exhausted himself from working so hard, caring so much, when he just flops down and manages to fall asleep immediately. How he ever deserved someone who trusts him enough to be so vulnerable with him, he doesn’t know.

- Julian loves watching Elim in his quiet moments: reading, tailoring, gardening, speaking softly and comfortingly to people who are scared, drowsy in the morning making breakfast. Also he loves seeing Elim turn his oratory skills to politics. He’s not a born leader, he never wanted to be one, but he does it because it matters and he does it well.

[medea10]

Medea Plays Animal Crossing New Horizons: Part VI

Well folks, my little island has come a long way from just a month ago.

We now have 10 villagers (none of them Olivia or Papi yet) and we added a few new things including...

An outdoor cafe!

And lucky me, it’s been just like my rainy Seattle weather all week on my island.

And the upgrade of Nook’s Cranny (that resulted in a day without earning bells by catching things).

Glad it was on a day where I had a long shift at work.

Got my first visitor.

And played a nice game of selling turnips.

But I’ve been down this route before. How much could I possibly ge...?

AND MAKE IT RAIN! MAKE IT RAIN!

That takes care of my debt for now.

Meanwhile in the neighborhood...

OH DEAR GOD, WHO HURT YOU! WHO HURT MY BUSINESS KITTY?!

Oh. Reality hurt him. DAMMIT REALITY, STOP HURTING RAYMOND!

Anyways...

Isabelle is checking in on her parents like a good girl.

And after spending fuck-tons of Nook Mile tickets in the hopes of finding some of my old favorites and breezing past Harry, Tybalt, Stella, Daisy, Frobert, Cyrano, Hazel, Velma, Stella AGAIN, Olaf, Ava, and Plucky, I have picked out my 10th member of Pallet Island.

So I got Pango.

First of all, I love the inside of her house and hope to one day have a room like that. Secondly...

I officially ship Maddie and Pango.

And finally, I caught a kitty on my lawn.

I think it’s time for another “Insects are the Devil’s Pubic Hair”.

This has been another, “Insects are the Devil’s Pubic Hair”.

Well, it’s been pretty quiet and things have toned down after the Bunny Day massacre. So I decided to take some shots over on Harv’s island.

Me and Elvis decided to do a little something.

I turned Celia, Maddie, Diva, and Pango into the whores of Sex and the City (or the Real Housewives of Pallet Island).

And I’m doing some more Bob x Raymond shots.

Let’s do one more.

Aw, they’re on a date!

Julia catching Louie asleep on the crapper.

And me doing God-knows-what to Alfonso.

So I think I can close this update on a sleepy note and...

UPPITY-DATE! WE GOT AN UPPITY-DATE!

OOOOOOOOH!

As you know, Earth Day was on the 22nd, but that doesn’t stop Animal Crossing from celebrating for the rest of the month. Plus, it’s with Leif.

Leif is a sweetie. And not the Zodiac Killer like Zipper!

He sells shrubs. He sells rare flowers not on your island. He’ll buy your weeds.

HOW PERFECT IS IT THAT HE CAME ON THE WEEK OF 4/20?!

Smoke weed everyday!

And along with Leif’s special, Blathers is about to open a new wing to the museum for works of art.

Oh.

Oh no.

He’s here.

Shit. Now I’ve gotta Wikipedia his sleazy-ass shit again.

Oh God, this is gonna cost my island it’s current 3-star status!

I’ve seen crack-houses in Oakland with more credibility than this!

So I caught Redd the Fox (and after 7 years of playing this franchise I just NOW got the pun with his name) skulking around my island.

He tries to get me to pay a ridunkulous amount of bells for a painting, but then lowered the price to something more reasonable.

I don’t trust chiseler. I’m not gonna do it.

Your words, not mine.

I’m not gonna do it. I know it’s a fake. I can already feel it.

I’m not gonna do it. Nope. Not gonna chance it.

Don’t make me regret this.

Okay. Redd didn’t screw me on the deal...yet.

Although with this, it might mean the museum is gonna be closed for a day. No matter. I caught and dug almost everything possible for this month that one day won’t make a difference.

Well, I am excited about the upcoming events for this game. Museum Day with Blathers, May Day with the Dodos, and even Wedding Month with Reese and Cyrus.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHH, LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE!

Huh...I wonder if I can keep some wedding gear. Not for Raymond and Bob, but for another ulterior motive.

What are you up to Medea?

Doing shit I’ve been doing to my video games for years now.

I think it’s time we add a new member to Pallet Island.

THAT’S RIGHT! TRACEY SKETCHIT TIME!

Yeah, you know Tracey Sketchit, right?

My Pokemon bae! My anime husbando! The boy I’ve cherished for over 20 years, have written over hundreds of fanfics involving him, drawn countless times, and would gladly put him in my RPG’s just to have some sort of connection in any way shape or form. Because I’m that fucking crazy!

That’s right! Hey, I added him in Animal Crossing New Leaf, Miitopia, and Tomodachi Life.  It was only a matter of time before I did it here.

And when Wedding Month comes, I’ll be there.

IF I make it that far.

Hi, Medea loves to keep putting up her shit-posts on a game that gives her many joys in her life. But you gotta do your part. Medea is an “essential worker” and must brave through Coronavirus buggies to help put food in the bowls of my cats. And how do you come in the picture?

YOU STAY THE FUCK AT HOME!

I want to live long enough to see Wedding Month and have a game wedding with Tracey. So please, do not listen to Donald Trump or his maggots. But please, do listen to Samuel L. Jackson...

This has been a Medea P.S.A.

To be continued.

[nanigma]

Leon Fanbook Translation: Questionnaire Results

Link to the Takumi Fanbook

Introduction

Profile

Famous Lines

Relationships

Leon&Kamui + Words of Love

Daily Routine + Cooking Showdown

Fashion Check

Dream Change

Interview

Sorry for the wait, but there was just so MUCH text involved in this update. I think I spent about 10 hours total translating this over the past weeks. It had even more text than the Takumi version, since they added some additional comments and reader answers. Just one more update to go after this one and I’ll have finished it. Gonna take a break from translating for a while after I get back to the promised translations I couldn’t do in the meantime.

Part time job is still going and paying decently well. Still, more always helps, so if you’d like to support my work, consider buying me ko-fi or two.  

- All the photos on this post were taken by the lovely @zaziki7

My comments in italics

Questionaire Results

Pages 40-41

Page 40

The part were you and me talk about Prince Leon!

When we commemorated the release of our Prince Leon magazine, we also send out a questionare through the official Nintendo Dream twitter account. For 10 days, from July 13th 2018 to the 23rd, we accepted 560* filled out questionnaires and will now publish the results. We will convey the intense and simply overwhelming love that Leon's fans have for him, their explanations for it, and the heartfelt well-wishes towards him.

*Interesting to note that Takumi had 627 questionnaries filled out.

Questionary Demographic

Gender = Backed overwhelmingly by women!

Graph

Women: 89,5%

Men: 7.3%

Unspecified: 3.2%

Age = Over 80% in their teens and twenties!

Graph:

Twenties: 50.4%

Teens: 28%

Thirties: 16.5%

Unspecified: 2.8

Fourties and older: 2.1%

These are the results. The percentage of Leon's female fans almost reaching 90% is a deviation that surpasses all imagination. Surely the percentage of women is as high as it is, because we were asking for a magazine. Conversely, isn't it sort of unfair that male fans of „Fire Emblem“ do not have a character fanbook appealing to them? At least that's what we think... Gentlemen among fans, raise your voice!

They already get 90% of the figurines. I think they are more than compensated.

Q1. (Of course Leon's most attractive feature is that pretty face of his!)

“What about Leon do you like? Please choose three options.“  

Graph (no actual numbers given, so I'll just approximate)

His face: ~325

His voice: ~200

His heart: ~225

His outfit: ~75

His behaviour: >75

His strength: ~125

His retainers: ~25

Everything: ~250

Q1. Picking out the other answers:

“The way he uses magic!!“

Zola: “I-is this my cue?“

Odin: “Not you. Sit down.“

Other answers: How he feels inferior to his older brothers. It's quite human./ His slight clumsiness/ When he acts like an older brother/ How he is sweet to his brother or sister, even when facing them as enemies/ How he is kind to both his family and subordinates/ His lower eyelashes/ (English comment passing through) Smart, condescending, well written character, and a great unit to boot. His design with the black and purple designs reflect light beautifully/ How he always does his best to use his wits to approach others with nonchalant friendliness and to dodge the scrutiny of his opponents./How he is the kind of man, who, while not always used to flirting and occasionally showing surprise, will take the lead when it comes down to it and spoil his partner./ First answer repeats here for some reason/ How his character, face, magic and entire existence make him the very image of a stud. But I also like his less icy character traits a lot.

Q1. Picking out the other answers:

“His lower eyelashes!!”

Aqua: “Yes... Leon's eyes are quite sharp.”

Zero: ”That’s not what you should be paying attention to...”

Page 41

Q2. (Cute? Cool? In either case, he makes you want to protect him!)

“How would you describe your feelings for Leon? Please choose 3 options.“

Graph

Cool: <400

Cute: <450

Strong: >150

Healing: ~250

Want to snuggle up to him: <150

Hope to interact with him: >50

Beautiful (and other answers): <5

Other answers: Even though he is an excellent take on the old-school, collected hot guy, I always love it when his collar is inside out./ I want to spoil him/ I want to worship him/ I want to pat his head/ I want to support his feelings for Camilla/ I want to see his sleeping face/ I want to watch him from afar/ I think it's very human how he appears to be able to do anything, yet there are many things he cannot do/ etc.

Leon ol’ pal, there is actual support for your darkest secret out there...

Q2. Picking out the other answers:

“I envy your popularity!!“

Marx: “Who? Who could have left this answer....”

Macbeth: “W-Why are you looking at me?”

Q2. Picking out the other answers:

“I want to marry him!“

Elise: “Eh, then I want to marry him too!”

Camilla: “My... stealing isn't nice, alright?”

Am I really supposed to believe Elise is in her teens? Also, what is this family?

Pages 42-43

Page 42

Q3 (Those fleeting moments, where he breaks from his cold-hearted and unfeeling persona show Leon's true self!)

“Tell us which one of Leon's scenes and lines is the best of them all.“

1st Place (at 34.8%): Birthright Chapter 18 – Prince Leon of Nohr: His scene with Kamui after the map is cleared.

“... I lied, sister. I lied about hating you.“

2nd Place (at 20.5%): When doing a critical attack.

“Turn to dust already!“

3rd Place (at 18.2%): Prologue Chapter 1 – Nohrian Brethren: Scene with Kamui

“Eh!? My collar is inside out!? T- Then say so already...“

Other answers: Birthright Chapter 18: “The true blackness will paint over everything... your life, your future, it will all come to nothing...“/ Birthright Chapter 18: “That's quite the thing to say. If you keep looking, it should become obvious soon enough. Come on, I am already... this close after all.“/ A-Support with Odin: “It doesn't matter which world you go to, you'll always continue to be my retainer.“/ A-Support with Elise: “Yeah. Even if we only share half of our blood, even if all we are doing comes to naught.... so long as we accept each other, our bond will not be torn.“

Q4. (With the way it makes his pale skin shine, the Dark Knight outfit is far and away the most popular!)

“Tell us which one of Leon's possible classes (outfits) is your favourite!“

Graph:

Dark Knight: 79.7%

Sorceror: 0.6%

Butler: 0.4%

No percentages from here

Strategist

Dark Flier

Grandmaster

Others

Below graph box

Overwhelming approval for the Dark Knight! Straddling his horse adorned with golden ornaments, the armour carrying the elegance of the night sky, and the garments lightly dancing around his figure proudly represent the official outfit of Prince Leon! It's befitting of a king!

Translating this made me come close to crying from frustration.

Page 43

Q5 (The bond between master and servants are strong! Zero and Odin come at number one and two!)

“Tell us which character is your favourite besides Leon.“

1st Place: Zero (at 111 votes)

2nd Place: Odin (at 61 votes)

3rd Place: Elise (at 57 votes)

4th Place: Marx (at 45 votes)

5th Place: Camilla (at 38 votes)

6th Place: Takumi (at 36 votes)

7th Place: F!Kamui (at 32 votes)

8th Place: M!Kamui (at 30 votes)

9th Place: Foleo (at 21 votes)

While within the story, the bonds between the Nohrian siblings run deep, the popularity of Leon's group in general is superior even to that. But Zero has the most overwhelming support of them all. When adding in his personal history, one can't help but grin at seeing the viscously distant Zero having close banter with Leon. Surprisingly (?) big brother Marx beats out Kamui and gets into 4th place.

Pages 44-45

Page 44

Q6. (Most think he seems the type to join a social sciences type of activity like the student council! On the other hand, many also believe he wouldn't join any club at all.)

“If Leon went to a modern day school, what kind of club do you think he'd join?“

Graph

Student Council: ~70

None: >50

Literature/Literary Club: <45

Chess Club: ~35

Equestrian/Horse-Riding Club: >25

Science Club: >25

Gardening Club: <25

Wind Instrument Club: >20

Book/Reading Club: <20

Astronomy Club: >15

Tennis Club: ~15

Shogi Club: ~15

Chemistry Club: >10

Supernatural/Occult Club: ~10

Fencing Club: ~10

Art Club: 10

Other: History Club/ Basketball Club/ Board Game Club/ Mathematical Research Club/ Soccer Club/ Light Music Club/ Magic Club/ Theater Club/ Debate Club/ Broadcasting Club/ Science&Engineering Club/ Newspaper Club/ System Appliances Club/ Go Club/ Conversational English Club/ Table Tennis Club/ Tomato Appreciation Club/ Handicrafts Club/ Swimming Club/ Biology Club

Most answers we received weren't about any club activities, but the school council!! No matter the circumstances, he still gives off a regal image. On the opposite extreme, many were opting for him to not join a club at all, probably reflecting his attitude of wanting to make his own path without being tied down by other people. The other answers referred to his demonstrated rationality and reasoning with clubs such as the literature and literary clubs, or his desire to raise tomatoes with the gardening club. Within the 'Other' answers, there was certainly a theme centering around the „Debate Club“ (likely because Leon is skilled at fighting with words alone).  

Q7. (So Leon really is the the indoor type? Books were his key item* all along.)

“You are going on a date with Leon! Where do you think you'll go?“

*dating sim reference

Graph

The library: ~70

An art gallery/museum: <50

Some kind of tomato plantation: ~45

A spot from which to gaze at the night sky: ~35

A high-class restaurant: >30

The cinema: ~30

A stylish café: ~25

An aquarium: <25

A planetarium: >20

A theme park: <20

Some Nohrian place: >15

His place: ~15

Others: ~140

Other answers: Watching a play at the theater/ The park/ The cinema (this was already in the graph?)/ A forest/ His home/ My Room (as in the Fates one)/ A flower field/ An antique shop/ Exploring the castle/ A place from which to watch the night sky filled with stars/ We'd have walks from the Sakurahommachi station in Nagoya, where I would drag Leon, who hates getting his feet wet, to the beach. We'd visit the Landmarktower in Yokohama and see the whole city sprawled out below from the viewing platform. Then finally, while riding a ferry's wheel, I'd want to watch as Leon would blush and become embarassed at failing to work up the courage to congratulate me on my birthday by the time we reached the top./ To an orchestra performance/ A botanical garden/ A horse ride/ A curiosity shop for tomes/ A haunted house

Some have clearly put more thought into this than others...

Leon love for tomatoes is carried by a deep knowledge of them! Speaking of, the library, art galleries and museums, are places that do the most to challenge his intellectual mind. Next is something normal people would never have thought of: A tomato plantation. Probably to go gather tomatoes. Enjoying your favourite person's favourite together must be a very fun activity. It makes us imagine Leon with a carefree smile on his face.

Page 45

Q8. (While his image is all over the place, the common feature happens to be the intellectual elite!?)

“If Leon were to enter the modern workforce, what kind of job do you think he would have?“

Graph

Something IT-related (including management): ~60

Scholar/Researcher: ~30

Lawyer: ~25

Company President/ Member of a Company President's family: <25

Company Employee: >20

On a Tomato Plantation: <20

Secretary: ~15

Teacher: <15

Company Manager: ~10

Marx's Confidant: <10

Government Employee: <10

Company director: <10

Librarian: <10

Doctor: <10

Bureaucrat: >5

Others: ~190

Other answers: Accountant/Whatever it is, he'd be wearing a suit/ Strategist/ Flower Shop Owner/ Human Resources/ System Engineer/ Diplomat/ Public Prosecutor/ Model/ Greengrocer/ Actor/ Employee at a pharmaceutical company/ Policeman/ Administrative Scrivener*/ Day Trader/ Playing in an Orchestra/ Bank Employee/ Designer/ Investor/ Translator/ Real Estate Agent/ Publisher/ Bartender/ He'd come from a good family, graduate from a famous university, find employment at a leading company and be a very promising newcomer there./ Idol/ Astronaut/ Free-lance Designer

*From Wikipedia: Administrative Scrivener(行政書士 Gyōsei shoshi)is a legal profession in Japan which files government licenses and permits, drafts documents, and provides legal advice around such interactions.

What overshadows the minority opinions are results strongly influenced by Leon's reputation as a schemer. He, who even during the plot stuck to his own methods and views, would surely acquire expertize the business world of our time and establish himself with his own abilities in the blink of an eye. Futhermore, most people see Leon at the top of some kind of organization, rather than below someone like Marx, when our previous impressions of him saw him as someone's number 2.

Q9. (The impression of him having a preferance for scientific subjects is strong! It's surprising to see English were it is... we assumed it would be German.)  

So it's semi-officially confirmed that Nohrians are meant to speak German?

“If Leon was a teacher at a school, what kind of subject do you think he'd teach?“

Graph

Math: >100

Natural Sciences: >75

Chemistry: ~55

English: >45

Physics: ~45

Science: >25

Japanese ('Native Language'): ~25

History: <25

Biology: ~20

Social Studies: <20

History/World History: >15

Others: <30

Other answers: Economics/ Ethics/ Philosophy/ Civics/ Music/ Art/ Geography/ Magic

The impression that Leon is the science type was certainly shared by many, so as a result Math and the Sciences all stand at the top. His Strategist class (That is a tactician. Many have pointed out that in our age it would propably translate to being an expert speculator) also left quite the impact on these results. Although it's possible to say his love for books within the story has certainly been noticed, even when considering at answers for subjects like socials sciences, Japanese and English, the overwhelming majority still leans towards scientific subjects. While strict his methods would also be precise, so there can be no doubt he'd make an excellent teacher.

Pages 46-47

Page 46

Q10. (This is a bit biased, but it's the cool Leon we are talking about, so we want to hear his whispers full of sarcasm.)

“Tell us the one line you would want to hear from Leon.“

1st Place: “You really have the worst luck.“

2nd Place: “Turn to dust already!“

3rd Place: “I love you“*

*It shows both „Aishiteru“ and „Daisuki“ here, both of which are commonly translated as „I love you“. However, Aishiteru is a lot stronger in meaning than Daisuki. You wouldn't say that in everyday life even to your spouse of 10 years. It's inappropriate for all but the most dramatic situations. Like 'someone is dying' dramatic. This has been a language PSA.

Other answers: “How foolish“/ “My collar isn't inside out, right?“/ “My collar is inside out“/ “... Good grief, you really can't be trusted without me around.“/ “Jeez... looks like I have no choice. I'll protect you.“/ !You are pretty lucky.“/ “Eh... Sister you are sca-... Too close! You are too close!“/ “Do you want to eat tomatoes with me? Sister?“/ “I love you“/ “Are you stupid“/ “Despicable fool.“/ “Death shall be your redemption.“/“Look only at me, think only about me.“/ “I love you.“/ “Can I hug you?“/ Upon telling him his collar is inside out: “Ugh, say so earlier!“/ “I'll destroy you with black arts.“/ “Jeez, I'm no match for big brother.“/ “Pull yourself together, sister.“/ “Feel free to become Foleo's wife“/ “It's a lie that I hate you.“/ “That was well done.“/ “Welcome home.“/ “I want to eat your miso soup.“ *chokes*/ “Thank you for cleaning everyday“ (Maid setting)/ “How clumsy.“/ “You are always hard at work. I expect much from your services.“/ “Aren't these clothes inside out? Eh? That's how they are designed? Uhh...“/ “My collar is inside out!? … Tell me that sooner!“/ “Huh...?“/ “Traitors are a disgrace to the Kingdom of Nohr. Death shall be your redemption.“/ (In English) “I love you so much, please love yourself.“/ “You really can't do anything without me.“/ “Do you also want a tomato?“ (as in eating one)/ “Let's eat tomatoes together.“/ “I love it when you turn redder than a tomato.“/ “Don't say I have a woman's face.... I'd rather have you say that I'm cool instead of cute.“/ “Isn't your coat inside out as well? … Hehe, I'm kidding.“

Everyone's love is bursting from these answers. We can fully understand both the group that wants to be disparaged and the group that wants to be treated gently. Seeing just how many fans aren't satisfied with just a tsundere, but desire a cheeky little brother who verbally abuses them, we get the feeling we have found Leon's true appeal.

Kinkshame 100% appropriate.

Page 47

Takumi VS. Leon!!

Just like in this book, we also made a questionary to celebrate the release of the „Prince Takumi of Hoshido“ fanbook. Both of the questionaries included 5 questions pitting Leon and Takumi against each other. Although it appeared mostly like a popularity contest, we also gathered many responses and explanations that were overflowing with love. Although we have obviously published these answers in the Takumi fanbook as well, we will be publishing the comments that came with choosing Leon only in this magazine.

Q11. (Their popularity is almost exactly the same! Those who answered with something else mostly commented about how they „wanted to watch team X from afar.“)

“If you had to choose a side between them, which one would you pick?“

Graph

Leon: 45.1%

Takumi: 43.9%

Others: 11.0%

Q12. (Although they share many of the same habits and outlooks, it seems Takumi came out on top on this one.)

“Who do you think makes for the better father?“

Leon: 48.8%

Takumi: 51.2%

Reasons for choosing Leon: He praises Foleo from the dephts of his heart. He is able to truly accept him./ He hasn't known love from either of his parents, so he seems to put great effort into raising his child/ He seems very good at giving out praise!/ As a strategist he seems like he's be great at planning out child-rearing and lifeplans./ Because he seems to have an understanding of his child as a human being/ After apologizing to his son for rejecting him without even listening to his side, he is able to come to a mutual understanding with him/ Because he seems great at applying the carrot-and-stick method/ Because he is someone who holds his family dear. Together with his child he is able to learn from both success and failure and grow as a person./ Since he knows what he wanted for his own childhood/ He seems great at calming people down/ He seems the type to help his kids with their studies

Q13. (Just like with Question 12, Leon comes up short in the results. Could it be that he is a bit of a complex father figure?)

Could it??

“Whose son/daughter would you want to be?“

*I orginally translated this question wrong in the Takumi fanbook. The additional ansers here gave it context. I’ll correct it there as soon as I get around to it.

Leon: 43.6%

Takumi: 56.4%

Reasons for choosing Leon: While he is strict, he seems like he'd take care when teaching magic arts./ Although I also want to be Foleo's sibling, mostly I just want to be praised by Leon./ If I conveyed my love for him all sweet, I am sure he'd be grateful./ I'd have a beautiful daddy/ Because I could support Foleo no matter what his dreams were/ He seems very cold, but I think his love runs deep/ Because he seems the type to passionately devote himself to helping me study/ Human nature/ I want him to praise me by saying „That's my child!“/ He seems like he'd be a good hugger when he is in the mood to spoil/ He'd probably be a doting father/ Although he seems like he'd be a very careful father, I want to be there to see him be careless at times/ I want to see how his usually calm presentation as a father gets disrupted by his subordinates/ Because Team Leon has Zero in it/ Although he'd deny it at first, someday he'd become a father who understands his love for his child./ Because I want to have a knowledgable father/ Although cruel, he is nice to his friends and family/ It'd be fun being around Zero and Odin from a young age.

Q.14 (Their popularity is the same here, leading them to share perfectly identical results! There were several heated comments explaning the decision!

“If you could have one of them as your own child, which one would you choose?”

Graph:

Leon: 50%

Takumi: 50%

Reasons for choosing Leon: Although he'd be a bit careless, I can see him becoming a son worth boasting about./ I want to coddle him/ He'd be an obedient child growing up. Also, since he's grow up to be very beautiful I would want to dress him up a lot./ He would probably need to be helped out a lot, which is just too cute!/ Because I want to spoil Leon!!/ Because I want a well-mannered child/ I want to watch over him with a smile whenever he is clumsily rushing through life/ Because being both smart and friendly is very cute!/ Because I want to defeat Leon's unbelievable loneliness with praise!/ I want Leon to have more confidence in himself/ Until I die, I want to continue seeing Leon as an irreplacable presence in my life, more valuable than anyone else./ I hope to decrease Leon's inferiority-complex even a little/ Since he is starved for motherly-love, I want to be the one to show it to him/ Because I want to feed him lots of delicious tomato dishes/ So we can read lots of books together/ He seems to be the obedient, quiet type/ Since Leon's relationship with his mother can't be called good, I want to raise him lovingly this time around./ He|d be a smart, hard-working son to boast about/ Because I want to have him enter a boy's choir group/ He is just so cute!

Anyone else get the feeling some of these people would be better served with a doll than a child?

Q.15 (An indoor type like Leon can't hope to compete in this with an outdoor type like Takumi...)

“If you were stranded together on a deserted island, who do you think you could rely on most?“

Graph

Leon: 39.1%

Takumi: 60.9%

Reasons for choosing Leon: I bet he could do something with Brunhilde (such as harvesting fruit)/ I think Leon would be better at staying calm and make the right decisions during such circumstances.  Then he'd use magic to light a fire, dig a waterway, cut down trees and gather materials to then use them to build a house/ I think he'd be able to stay calm about it/ Utilizing his vast knowledge, he'd likely be able to provide safe water and food./ Because he can grow apples/ Either of his retainers would give it their all/ Unlikely to panic, he'd be a calm guide/ He can make fire with magic/ As he is called 'Gravitymaster', he can manipulate the earth as much as he likes and provide a lifestyle that way./ Having magic that can manipulate gravity seems useful/ No matter what happens, I am sure he'd be able to use his knowledge to get by somehow. Plus, I am sure big siblings Camilla and Marx would rush in to the rescue.

So what do you think of the results of these 15 questions? We truly thank everyone who gave their answers within such a limited time. Although we think that there were a lot of unexpected questions relating to our modern way of life, but do you not agree that in this way we were able to more clearly solidify our image of Leon? If all of you continue supporting and showing your love for Leon... we can only call that the correct result.

-------------

Next update will finally be the last. It may take a bit to get out, but it should happens faster than this. I just realized I’ve spent over half a year on this project...I want to sleep 100 years..  

[ofaurcra]

TASK #001: EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT.

GENERAL INFO

full name: CHIURA AZAMI nickname(s): AZA, MIMI, AMI gender & pronouns: SHE/HER sexual & romantic orientation: BISEXUAL & BIROMANTIC age & dob: 22, 9TH NOVEMBER 1996 birthplace/hometown: YOKOHAMA, JAPAN parents/siblings: CHIURA AKEMI (MOTHER) & CHIURA TATSUYA (FATHER), AZA ALSO HAS A SIMILARLY AGED BROTHER. pet(s): TONKINESE CAT (KIMURA) (X) & SINGAPURA KITTEN (ROMI) (X) astrological sign: SCORPIO dominant hand: LEFT handwriting style: neat, small & cursive (very pronounced swirls joining letters or flicking them off) language(s) known/spoken: JAPANESE, KOREAN, ENGLISH, FRENCH religion: AGNOSTIC current living arrangements: OWNS HER OWN UPTOWN STUDIO APARTMENT occupation/major: FASHION DESIGN AND FLOWER SHOP MANAGER

PHYSICAL

picture reference: (X) blood type: AB+ nationality: japanese skin tone/color: honeyed glow birthmarks & scars: birthmark on her neck and one behind her ear, they’re usually a very pale beige and she has a scar located on her pelvis from being shoved into a brick wall when younger and scraping across the skin. height: 5′4 build: petite but athletically toned allowing for surprising strength hair color: platinum blonde currently, silvery tonage hair length: (X), (X) her hair is currently this length and style eye color: naturally rich chocolate brown but she’s taken to wearing jade hued contacts more recently. diet: healthy and balanced but she isn’t overly worried over it, she quite likes her salads and all her fruits anyway and will happily choose them over sugary snacks. the only time she really binge eats is on her patisserie visits, if she has people over for breakfast (cause she goes all out she is an extra bitch) or if she’s having a movie night with friends. exercise & level of fitness: she tends to swim and run a lot but is more prone to relaxing exercises which help the mind and body like yoga and meditation, she’s very flexible and used to do gymnastics too. but in general she gets the recommended amount of aerobic activity recommended for healthy adults. how’s their posture ( or lack thereof )?: she usually stands very upright, with her chin in the air so her posture is really good and she often has her arms crossed if she’s being all ‘business workaholic’ aza but if she’s being more relaxed and casual she tends to slant one leg out more and jut the knee with a hand usually resting on her right hip. typical style of dress: (x), (x), (x), (x), (x),(x) body modifications: (x) - this tattoo can be located on aza’s index finger, (x) - this tattoo is located on aza’s back lying just above where her bra strap would sit, (x) (x) - the first image references the design of this tattoo and the second shows the location being just beneath the breast and across the ribcage, it is a tiny tattoo that she shares with ( @sunsbloom) signifying her bond with ivy and referencing the shared zodiac of scorpio between them. (x) - this tattoo can be located behind aza’s left ear. (x) (x) - both these finger tattoos can be located in the places on the images. (x) - this tattoo is dedicated to her brother and can be found on her inner thigh but it is incredibly tiny. (x), (x), (x), (x) - these ones are located in the same places as they are on the images. what can be noticed is that aza has a surprising amount of tattoo’s yes but all are tiny designs and usually incorporate floral elements because she feels such an affliction for flowers, she also prefers to use white ink or red where she can if it works stylistically. finally, she’s hoping to get these (x) with america squad ( @hijinae, @ofdaeseong) as a tribute to their friendship.

MANNERISMS

how does your muse walk?: it’s a bit of a sashay when she’s in the mindframe of getting things done with a lot of hip swinging and fast pace, its not an intentional boss bitch walk but it happens naturally when she’s in a rush. if she isn’t stressed or busy then her walk becomes more of a peaceful and slow paced saunter where she appears to admire or take in her surroundings a little more and get a little zoned out. how does your muse talk?: aza has a delicate and gentle voice, it’s soft and comforting but it’s not quiet at all, she talks clearly and with confidence and when in a position of leadership she can project it without issue. it tends to sound like she’s drawling out words when she’s with those she is comfortable with in a somewhat unintentionally seductive way. she just has a sexy voice asfhfh what can u do.  what does their laugh sound like?: twinkly, it comes out in quiet and soft peels and is more akin to a giggle, it kind of lingers in the room long after she’s finished because her laughter is usually short when its genuine as well. how does your muse typically smell?: she favors fruity perfumes which aren’t overpowering but strong enough to catch on the breeze when she moves her hair or embraces someone so scents like patchouli, musk, white amber, grapefruit, wild berries, caramel, praline, jasmine, freesia, peony and pomegranate are some of her favorites. what kind of air do they carry?: somewhat regal, a don’t fuck with me vibe like she’s always sizing you up and knows your next move before even you do to strangers. to friends she’s like a strict but overly affectionate mom. do they have a(ny) catchphrase(s)?: as the legend ariana once said ain’t you ever seen a princess be a bad bitch. what are their nervous ticks?: she runs her hands through her hair a lot, like frequently in a matter of seconds or minutes and pushes it back a lot haphazardly, she also bites her lip or chews things more when stressed.

PSYCHOLOGY

what makes your muse happiest?: spending time with the america squad or ivy since those are her bestest friends, in the past phone calls with her brother really lifted her spirits when she was struggling but its been a while since she’s had one, going out for coffee or picnics in the summer. what upsets them the most?: liars and hypocrites, in general but especially in family dynamics she cannot stand parents who have children and then don’t love them unconditionally as a parent is expected to. she’ll flare up if her friends have family issues and she sees their parents talking down to them automatically because she knows what that feels like and most of the time in her experience with rich upbringing the parents aren’t so perfect either. what are their hobbies? how frequent do/can they do them?: she likes to sketch when designing her fashion and she’s pretty good at painting, likes exploring fashion or art museums and exhibits, likes finding new cafes and quiet restaurants or patisseries for hangout spots, loves spending time in botanical gardens and at the library reading. she’s a bit of an adventurer by nature she just loves to be going places but more quiet hobbies are things like baking, journalism and a bit of blogging. do they have any guilty pleasures?: other than food not really but aza does occasionally enjoy to socially smoke if she goes out partying. she’ll also deny it to all hell and back because sorbet is healthier but she could eat five tubs of ice cream in one evening. is your muse an extrovert or an introvert? neither?: she funnily enough is sort of both, i would say she is more extroverted now because circumstances have definitely forced her to be so if she isn’t working one of her many diverse jobs she is going out and exploring but she used to be a huge introvert. and if there is one sign of rain find her under a duvet with hot cocoa sleeping the day away and marathoning on netflix. do they have high or low self-esteem? what about confidence?: she loves herself what more can i say. she doesn’t believe in vanity she thinks its important to be in love with yourself and i would say her self love comes from a place where it is well earned because she definitely struggled with low self esteem and confidence issues in the past being so silenced and controlled by her father.  are they easily stressed and how do they normally respond to it?: definitely, if you worked the way aza does you would be as well. it doesn’t help she’s prone to anxiety attacks from stress so she doesn’t respond very well. if its a minimal amount she can be alright, she tends to just walk away and take a break until her head is clear but sometimes if she is overwhelmed she’ll just break down and cry over the smallest things and shut down on herself, going quiet and unresponsive, she tends to get shaky and her breathing worsens. what is your muses worst fear?: following in her parents footsteps and one day being a neglectful parent, she hates the idea of letting anyone down especially her own potential family.  what is your muses biggest dream?: making it as a fashion designer i suppose, she doesn’t want fame especially after seeing how it made her family act with people due to their empire and riches but she wants to live comfortably and be able to show her talents and fresh perspective off more. is your muse a morning person or a night dragon?: definitely a night dragon but she tries to go to bed and get up at the same time when she can because its supposedly healthier to have a routine. how intelligent is your muse? do they acknowledge it?: aza is very cultured and i would say she has a philosophical and extremely open mind. her intelligence is one of the kinds where it is more of wisdom than it is scientific and factual or academic alone. though she did incredibly well with her grades academically she’s still god awful at maths and will not engage with it. describe their sense of humor: dry witted, sarcastic, sometimes dark, crude.

RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES

are they currently in any sexual or romantic relationships?: there aren’t any plotted out for aza yet (but like pls do come love her down) but knowing her anyway i’m just going to say she probably is in sexual relationships because aza is prone to having flings. what is their experience with relationships?: OOF its not great, mostly negative since her life has became more stable in daegu she’s slowly starting to feel and receive and learn how to allow herself for healthy ones but in the past she had a lot of fucked up ones due to miscommunication and her fear of commitment primarily.  how does your muse view the idea of friends with benefits? have they ever had one? would they ever?: yes yes and yes. BUT aza is way more cautious about it because she’s very aware that usually its a one sided kind of fun where one person ends up falling harder than the other and being hurt. how important is sex to your muse?: i want to say she isn’t that shallow and it isn’t important but... it is, i think for aza its a way to feel things and immerse herself in those emotions without having to feel vulnerable at all but at the same time that only applies to good sexual partners. if not aza thinks sex is just...average at best, its not bad and its not mindblowingly good its just kind of nice for a while and then its done. what are their biggest turn on and turn offs?: OH LAWD, okay well turn on’s: neck biting, choking, broad physique, a lil bit of manhandling like yes slam her against the door and yes pin her down to the table and yes you can lift her and push her on the counter. turn offs: anything too weird like foot fetishes or watersports or something and doNT for the love of god pls don’t ever spank her, she will freak out, spankings are triggers for her big time. does your muse find it easy to make friends?: yeah i mean azami is pretty agreeable, she gets along with basically everyone. its hard for her to have enemies although she may have healthy rivals and frenemies there is never truly really any bad blood between azami and others. she likes to work through the kinks in relationships and she’s stubborn so she won’t give up on people without one hell of a fight. she even tends to stay friends with her ex’s because in her eyes they should be adult and able to wish each other well in their lives and be happy for one another without tension or awkwardness.  how important is friendship to them?: considering that for aza her friends have been like her found and chosen family and her only real soulmate connection that runs truly deep in this world is ivy emotionally speaking i think friendship is the most important thing in the world to azami.  quantity or quality of friends?: 100% quality of friends how important is family?: suprisingly although azami’s family are trash and can rot she does find them important and she always will love them and she always will wish that her dad was proud of her. also even though she hates that her brother kind of shadows her and makes bad choices bc of it and she shoulders the blame a lot of the time he is the center of her world and she would do anything for him. she hates the fact she couldn’t be there for him the way she wanted growing up and protect him as much as she’d have liked are they close to their family? why or why not ?: hnhh i mean this one is obvious but no she isn’t close to her family. she did not fit the mold of prim and perfect princess who does as daddy says and knows her place without question even if its wrong. her mother simply shut her out as a way to cope with the fact aza wouldn’t pretend like she would. its also to do with the fact that she had aza far too young and didn’t get a chance to live her own life as she constantly made sacrifices for her and to keep the family together but aza doesn’t know so much about all of that. 

FAVORITES

activity: reading animal: cats and she likes chinchilla’s beverage: strawberry smoothies and vanilla and honey milkshakes book: milk and honey by rupi kaur color: pastel pink and mustard yellow designer: ralph laurent food: coq au vin and churro’s flower: wisteria  gem: garnet holiday: valentines mode of transportation: car or cycling movie: burlesque musical artist: lana del rey quote / saying: l'avoir c'est avoir les étoiles scenery: starry nights in flower covered fields, bright days in quiet secluded peach orchards and strawberry farms. scent: jasmine weather: sunny but with a light breeze vacation destination: bali

ATTITUDES

greatest dream: fashion designer of haut couture dresses greatest fear: letting down her family and loved ones most at ease when: in a quiet cafe getting work done, having a movie night cuddled up with jinae,dae and the cats, shopping and spending time with ivy doing anything really, looking at art or reading poetry in the sunshine. least as ease when: facing unwanted advances, having phone calls with her family, facing a tight deadline with a heavy workload. worst possible thing that could happen: losing the opportunity to be a parent because she’s too afraid of messing her kids up the way she was and losing the chance to be happily married and living alone forever because she can’t open up to someone on that level of vulnerability.  biggest achievement: modelling for some lesser known brands and being included in photography shootings for freelance friends. opening up her flower shop and balancing two other jobs as well as her education. being invited to attend some fashion shows by having some designer connections biggest secret: azami doesn’t really like to keep secrets so there isn’t anything scandalous other than the fact that at one point when she was younger she had a slight crush on dae and if anything that’s just laughable to them now so she doesn’t really give it much thought. top priorities: work, coming up with new innovative and fresh ideas for all of her work and not only dedicating herself to her study of and love of fashion, making time for her friends no matter how busy she gets, remembering to go easy on herself and allow herself to take breaks and vacations. 

[faintlykatie]

people make vision boards, i make vision lists

1. hardwood floors worn down from years of running and slow dancing

2. a garden full of crops, from which i can make homemade food with

3. beehives

4. the bottom of the garden will be overgrown with wildflowers of a dozen species

5. fairy lights

6. so many mugs but none of them match

7. a big fancy double staircase so i can feel like a queen

8. a big fancy double bed so i can feel like a queen

9. somewhere around the woods/forest, beside a little river or brook

10. a loyal canine companion

11. a hammock nestled between the trees, where i can read peacefully, cuddle or fall asleep under beams of sunlight

12. stables (& a beaut horse)

13. a greenhouse full to the brim with flowers and plants

14. a spacious shed, which also acts as a miniature lab

15. a room filled from floor to ceiling with books, preferably with a window so i can sit next to it and read to my hearts content

16. a roaring fireplace on cold blue nights

17. stacks upon stacks of photo albums, picturing the story i have lived so far, reminding me to be appreciative of those who were and are in my life

18. dancing barefoot at midnight

19. succulents, cacti and plants everywhere, as if i won’t have enough outside

20. a handwritten recipe book, perfected from trial and error over years of experimenting

21. eating breakfast outside, breathing in late spring air

22. blanket forts every weekend - no exceptions

23. real hot chocolate, made on the hob with orange and cinnamon and cacao

24. sketches of the people and things i love, no matter how terrible they turn out

25. making cookies with my friend or s/o, always ending in a flour fight

26. one of those cool overhead waterfall showers

27. shared baths with bubbles, candles and lush bathbombs

28. braiding freshly picked flowers into her hair

29. breakfast in bed

30. open windows, fluttering curtains

31. board games on the living room floor in our underwear

32. ballet dancing to vinyls in the living room, for fun rather than anything else

33. scrambling onto the roof to watch the sun go down

34. unmade beds

35. going to the market rather than tescos, supporting local farmers

36. reading each other to sleep

37. walls adorned with polaroids of memories i would never want to forget

38. stargazing and talking about scientific theories

39. pressing flowers and keeping a scrapbook about their properties

40. shopping sprees that result in trying to fit all books and clothes we buy in the boot of the car

41. camomile and honey tea before going to bed

42. messy buns and no make up, not feeling the need to impress anyone

43. but on somedays, spending hours doing my make up and hair because it feels good

44. sitting at the dining table together energetically scribbling down novel ideas at 2 in the morning

45. impulsive road trips with the windows down and singing along to the karaoke playlist we’ll make

46. making fresh bread every week, leading to weekend mornings being the best because the loaf’s still warm

47. finding our own little spot where no one goes, sitting there and talking about anything and everything for hours

48. vines growing up the walls of the house, making it looked more lived in

49. going to the lake on a hot day, drinking strawberry lemonade and splashing each other with the water

50. sending handwritten letters to the people i love, wax seal and all

51. having tons of scented candles for all occasions. burning pumpkin ones at fall and lavender in the spring

52. stealing my s/o’s clothes, so when we’re not together or have to work, a part of her is always there

53. waking up every morning to a faint glow through the curtains, birdsong and a body pressed against mine

54. going to a pebble beach and finding rocks that look like their eyes

55. going ice skating, holding hands, drinking hot chocolate to warm up

56. giving names to all my plants

57. a little balcony with french doors where i can sip tea and watch the trees dance

58. having game nights with all my friends, new and old

59. having a proper skin care routine. indulging myself with lotions and oils and masks and rose water

60. people watching with someone I love, making up stories about their lives

61. dinner parties ending on the sofa with a few bottles of wine

62. curled up with the love of my life and our dog, binge watching movies

63. spontaneous day trips to iconic places and quaint little towns alike

64. socialising with strangers met at coffee shops, getting their number, making new friends

65. getting up early and doing yoga. watching myself and my body improve

66. carrying around a journal and painting whatever i can see whenever i have spare time. the journal filling up with portraits of strangers and drawings of my coffee

67. having the time to cuddle the love of my life for hours on end, stroking her hair and breathing in her shampoo

68. making surprise breakfast for my love before she wakes

69. making candles and collecting honey in my spare time, selling them as a little side job

70. passionate kisses in the living room. being out of breath afterwards, but smiling nonetheless

71. cute little matching tattoos

72. all-out christmases/yule. decorations everywhere.

73. waking up early in the morning because the dog jumped onto the bed and curled up on top of me, rather than because of nightmares

74. spying on my s/o from the doorway, watching them sing and act like a dork

75. going out at sunrise to water the plants in Summer

76. cleansing the house every now and again, feeling refreshed at the positive energy

77. museum dates and cafe dates and library dates and castle dates and garden dates and picnic dates

78. christmas shopping with my s/o, having silly disagreements on what to get a friend so ending up getting them both

79. paint fights while decorating the house

80. going to the local pick your own farm every year to pick strawberries and making them into pink lemonade or jam

81. giving each other massages after long days at work

82. going on walks with my friends down the routes we went on as teenagers. climbing familiar trees and befriending sheep

[marshmallow-phd]

Secret in His Eyes

Spinoff of Sins of the Father

Genre: Mafia Au

Pairing: Luhan x Reader

Summary: A vacation exploring China’s famous city was supposed to be relaxing. When you witness a horrifying murder, you instead find yourself in police custody, unable to run. Trying to stay alive, you meet Luhan, and you believe you can trust him. You never imagined that he might be the one you should be running from.

Part: Prologue I 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I Final

**

This city was beautiful. The touristy parts, anyway. You were sure that – like every other city in the world – Beijing had its ugly scars, too. But you stayed in the areas that all the brochures and websites bragged about, saving you from having to see those not-so-shiny places.

You’d been saving up for this trip for the past year and a half. All your life you wanted to experience just one place new. Then you’d be perfectly content going back to your ordinary life with your office job. Or maybe this trip would just make you eager for the next one. It was kind of a toss up at this point in your youth. But you wouldn’t worry about whether or not you could be content with your boring routine until you were back home. For now, you’d continue exploring, taking in the beautiful, ancient architecture that was so unique to the region, visiting the art and history museums to learn more about what you were seeing, and trying all the street food you could get your hands on. Your main focus was to take in all that you could and not forget a single moment.

When you’d first arrived in Beijing, a nauseated feeling had bubbled up in your stomach. You were in foreign territory, completely on your own, with very little knowledge on how to navigate this roaring city. The feeling refused to die down as you checked into your hotel and searched the maps you’d been given by the front desk worker for something to eat. Even with as exhausted as you were from traveling, sleep didn’t come easy. By some miracle, however, you woke up the next morning much more at ease with your surroundings. Still nervous about getting lost or accidentally offending someone, but it wasn’t as threatening a feeling as it had been before. Going throughout your day, you nearly forgot all about your worries, too absorbed in your findings to pay attention to it.

By day three, you were practically a local. It was so magical, each new finding, that you couldn’t believe this was truly your reality, like soon you’d wake up to find it was all a dream.

“Oh, back again?”

You blushed as you bobbed your head in greeting. There was one vendor in the market place near your hotel that you kept coming back to. A mother and daughter team sold the most delicious baozi you’d ever tasted. Granted, your experience was limited to a few blocks, but it was a common street food and none compared to this dynamic duo’s. While the mother didn’t speak English, you were able to communicate with the daughter well enough.

“It’s my favorite treat,” you admitted shyly. The daughter waived you closer before pulling out two steaming, fresh buns, wrapping them carefully before holding them out to you. When you started to pull out your wallet, she shook her head. “No. These are just for you. Since you like them so much.”

You pursed your lips. “That doesn’t feel right.”

“You’ve been a loyal customer,” she laughed. “It’s the least we could do! However,” she rounded the cart, coming up close to you as she lowered her voice, “tonight is the Shangyuan Festival. My mother will be staying in, but if you would like to join me to make her happy that I won’t be alone, we’ll consider that payment.”

It still didn’t seem fair, but you laughed anyway. “Yes, of course!” You’d noticed the streets being decorated with paper lanterns since your arrival – some were the traditional round red ones you were used to, but others were shaped like flowers and animals, beautifully crafted and painted, making you stare in awe. “It’d be nice to have someone show me the festival.”

“Good! It’s settled then. We will close before the sun sets, so meet me here then. We’ll walk my mother home and then I will show you the festival!”

You nodded eagerly. Before parting so you could hurry to your other planned activities for the afternoon, you finally learned the daughter’s name: Shishi. It was cute and not something you’d really heard before.

The afternoon hours seemed to fly by and before you knew it, the sun was beginning to disappear from the sky. As quickly as you could, you ran back to the stall, careful not to ram anyone down in the process. Shishi was still waiting for you patiently, her mother shaking her head at you in a scolding manner.

“I’m so sorry,” you huffed, half doubled over from your exhausting sprint.

“It’s okay,” Shishi laughed at you. “Let’s get Mother home and then we’ll attend the festival.”

You nodded and stepped back for her to lead the way. Their home wasn’t too far from the stall and once Shishi saw her mother inside, the two of you took off towards another district in the city where a big crowd had gathered near the Chaobai River.

Lanterns of all shapes and sizes hung from nearly ever ledge. Children ran around the streets while carrying sticks that held small paper fish on the ends of strings, making it looking like schools of fish were swimming through the air. Different sweet scents drifted up to your nose, making your mouth water.

Perhaps seeing that ravenous look in your eye, Shishi pulled you over to one of the vendors, getting each of you one of those sugar coated sweets made by the true experts of the trade. The artists didn’t have fancy, expensive culinary schooling; they simply had tradition and a love for the for food.

You continued to walk along the street in order to take in all the sights happening around you. This was the reason you’d come to the beautiful city of Beijing. The joy and laughter around you was infectious and you felt as if you were on the receiving end of a precious gift. All the pictures and blogs in the world couldn’t truly capture the feeling, the essence of the festival and the deep rooted traditions happening before your very eyes. No matter what happened to you on this trip, you knew tonight would be something that you would never forget.

**

Luhan leaned back in his chair and waited rather impatiently for the underling to arrive. It was ten minutes past the time he was told to be here and Luhan was losing his patience.

For the past month, he’d had a man inside the main police department of Beijing and he needed his updates. Lately, the cops had been one step ahead of him while conducting his deals, putting several of his suppliers behind bars and ruining his business. His own customers were getting antsy, hence why he needed the information to squash the rat.

Leaning up against the wall to his right, Kris chewed on a toothpick between his teeth. “I thought he was supposed to be here by now.”

“Unfortunately, Xiaofei isn’t known for his punctuality,” Luhan huffed. He picked up the glass ball he kept on his desk and inspected it, although there was nothing wrong with the small paperweight. In the low lighting of his office, he could only make out a faint shadow on the smooth glass rather than his reflection. The small globe was almost completely see-through except for the etched continents covering the surface. While he couldn’t quite say that he held the world in his hands, the little globe gave him a sense of accomplishment, even when things went a little askew.

“I still think we should have sent someone else,” Tao whined from the couch. He was staring up at the ceiling, hands folded behind his head for a pillow as he reclined on his back. His suit jacket was draped across the back of the couch to save it from wrinkling.

Luhan rolled his eyes. He was tired of having this conversation over and over again. “Xiaofei already had connections within the office, I’ve told you that. Plus, he’d be able to blend better than most.”

There weren’t many people in the world Luhan could trust, the top two being in this room. Everyone who worked for him was under constant surveillance and he occasionally had to clean out the filth with little crumbs of fake information. It was how he survived all these years. The Chinese underworld was ruthless. He hardly had a moment where he wasn’t watching his back.

Just then, the door to the office creaked open. Tao sat up, eyeing the crack that wasn’t quite big enough to let a human through while Luhan placed the globe back down on the desk with a heavy thump. The vaguest outline of a shadow, visible against the white door frame, flinched at the sound. Luhan could practically smell the stench of fear radiating off of the underling from his seat.

Picking up his feet and placing them back down on the floor, Luhan growled, “Just come in before I lose my patience and shoot you through the door.”

That little threat did the trick. Xiaofei scurried inside the office, closing the door behind him with a sound that was halfway between a click and a slam. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as if he was trying to keep the contents of his stomach from spilling out onto the rug. The police uniform Xiaofei had been given was wrinkled and half untucked. Were his men really such slobs?

Clearing his throat, Xiaofei straightened up and then bowed at a ninety-degree angle. He was putting on a brave front, they all knew. And Luhan would let him play his little act.

“Sir, I have not been able to find the leak within the department as of yet.” The voice that left Xiaofei’s mouth didn’t match the round, burly face he was born with. It was of a higher pitch, not fit for his age. The face that Luhan imaged the voice belonging to was one of a rat, pointed and sharp, all the features focused in on the center. It was a face that fit Xiaofei’s character much more closely.

“Did you even really try?” Tao spat. His dark eyes were narrowed at the underling. He was not one to take kindly to a lack of results.

“Y-yes, sir,” Xiaofei bowed quickly to the silver-haired boss. “The department is very tight-lipped. They don’t take too kindly to new faces. It’ll take me another few months to get them to trust me.”

“We don’t have another few months,” Kris snarled, flicking the toothpick at the trembling man. The little piece of wood stuck to Xiaofei’s shoulder, but he made no attempt to brush it away, accepting the small but humiliating action.

Luhan let out a long sigh in order to make his displeasure known in a much more subtle manner. “Xiaofei.” The man flinched at the sound of his name even though Luhan didn’t raise his voice above a causal level. “Before I sent you in there, you swore to me that you had connections inside. Now, that wasn’t a lie, was it?”

“No, sir, I swear!” Xiaofei staggered on his feet as he tried to plead for his life. As soon as Luhan stood, the coward fell to his knees in a showy sign of respect. “My connections are good. It’ll just take a little more time. Please. I will find the leak. I swear it.”

Grabbing a fistful of his shirt, Luhan bent down and stared Xiaofei down. “You have one month left. I suggest you bring me back something viable at the end of that time frame. If you don’t, then you’ll be replaced.” Letting him go with a forceful shove, Luhan headed for the door. He only paused long enough to give one last warning. “I like to think of this organization as a well-oiled, well-maintenanced machine. The only way to keep it working is to upgrade the parts that have become useless. And there’s only one thing to do with useless parts, isn’t there?”

Though Xiaofei didn’t look back at Luhan, the shiver that ran down his spine and shook his shoulders was visible enough proof that the message had been received. With confident steps, Luhan glided down the hall of the mansion he called home. Soon, he would find out who was undermining his operations and he would make sure they regretted ever going up against The Deer before he ended their life for good.

**

Your feet were aching and throbbing, but you still weren’t ready to go home for the night. Stuffed full of delicious street food made only during this special time, you continued to follow Shishi through the crowds, stopping every once in a while to watch a choreographed dance by a group of performers ora magic show put on by a man you suspected might be tricking the audience in more ways than one.

The stars above were beginning to come alive for the night, adding to the mystical atmosphere. Only the strongest were able to be made out against the fading backdrop thanks to the stronger lights of the city. It made you a little sad, not being able to see a sky full of twinkling stars, but you pushed that emotion away, preferring to focus on the happier commotion around you.

However, when you brought your eyes back to the festival, Shishi was gone. You whirled around several times, but you couldn’t find her. Over and over, you called out, but no reply was ever sent back your way. Frantically, you shoved through the crowd. Had something happened to her? Or had you simply been separated? It was your own fault for dawdling and not paying attention. Panic was starting to set in. Until you saw a familiar bun of black hair resting on top of a head that was about Shishi’s height.

You followed the bun through the crowd until the owner disappeared into an alleyway. She took a few more twists and turns before you finally caught up to her, grabbing her shoulder in relief.

“Shishi!”

When she turned around, however, you were frustrated to find that it wasn’t your friend, but a stranger you’d never seen before. She threw you a snarled look even as you bowed out an apology over and over again. Soon you were alone again and utterly lost. The only light to see by came from the more occupied main streets, but you weren’t sure which one you should head towards to try and find your way back. Every direction looked the same. You cursed yourself for not paying more attention the further you got from the main street.  

Crash!

You jumped back against the brick wall, collapsing down to hide in the shadow of a dumpster when you saw a man fall to the cracking asphalt, his head bouncing off the ground as he landed hard on his back. Even in the dim light, you could make out a stream of blood running down from his nose and over his lips before dripping off his chin. When another man stepped into your line of vision, you shrank farther back, practically melding with the grime-covered trash bin.

The man who was still standing pulled out a gun and pointed it down at the one on the ground. As if knowing that his end was near, the first man simply groaned and turned his face upwards towards the sky. The man with the gun chuckled and began speaking in Mandarin. You couldn’t understand a majority of the words leaving his mouth, but one word did stick out to you: Lu. He repeated it a few times, mixed around in sentences that you couldn’t make out.

Then he shot the man on the ground, the bullet slicing through his forehead.

You couldn’t stop the gasp that your shock and horror forced out. Immediately, you slapped a hand over your mouth, praying that he hadn’t heard you. Seeing that there was just enough space between the wall and the dumpster, you scrambled to better hide yourself, hoping that you weren’t simply jumping into the barrel for an easier target.

Footsteps slowly headed in your direction, crackling the loose pebbles under his shoes with each step. You squeezed your eyes shut and sent up a silent prayer to anyone who might be listening. And apparently, someone was.

Sirens blared from a street close by. You barely caught the man disappearing around the corner when you risked opening your eyes. Slowly, you crawled out from behind the dumpster. Your hand landed warm and sticky, making you jump back with a scream when you realized it was blood pooling out from the dead man’s head.

Two new voices shouted and you threw your hands up to show you were unarmed. A bright light made you squint and you couldn’t tell who was approaching you, but you hoped it was the police. The light finally lowered. You let out a sigh of relief. The two officers lowered their guns and exchanged dumbfounded looks.

You had no idea what kind of mess you’d stumbled into.

[impressivepress]

How the Spirit Of Morocco Seized Matisse

The rain began to fall just a few hours after Henri Matisse installed himself in the Hotel Villa de France in Tangier at the end of January, 1912. For days it poured. ''Shall we ever see the sun in Morocco?'' the artist complained in a letter to Gertrude Stein after his first week.

Matisse kept himself busy by painting a vase of irises in his room, a dark image that makes much of the irregular pattern created by flowers against an ornate dressing table. Only the pale yellow and green stripes reflected in the dressing table's mirror hint at the extraordinary colors that Matisse was to discover in Tangier when the clouds finally lifted.

''Matisse in Morocco,'' which opens today at the National Gallery of Art, has only 23 paintings and about 47 drawings, most of them casual sketches that the artist did while wandering the streets and staring out the window of his hotel during his two trips to North Africa, in 1912 and 1913.

But if the exhibition is small in number of works, it greatly illuminates this key figure in the history of 20th-century art. Matisse's Moroccan paintings are for the most part bathed in a dusty, hazy light, a light composed of pinks and yellows and soft blues and greens. If the somber, sharper tones of his still life with irises were the result of cloudy skies, the view of Tangier from the open window of his hotel room that he painted on his second trip to Morocco reflected an entirely different experience.

This is a scene parched by the sun. Like so many of Matisse's Moroccan paintings, it is covered only in the thinnest washes of pigment, as if Matisse wanted the texture of the unpainted canvas to show through so that it would add rawness to the browns and grays.

Although Matisse spent only a few months in Morocco, his experiences apparently remained vividly with him for the rest of his long life. To see, for example, the paintings he completed in Nice during the 20's, with their odalisques and their dizzying arrangements of carpets and wallpaper is to see Morocco transplanted to the Riviera. And to see the cutouts of Matisse's last years, with their brilliant floral concoctions, is to see the spirit of Morocco still alive in the artist's imagination.

Even the evolution from Matisse's depiction of a female nude in ''Back I'' of 1909 to his abstracted, treelike ''Back IV'' of 1930 can be understood more clearly after seeing the paintings from Tangier. As Pierre Schneider points out in his essay for the exhibition's catalogue, Morocco quickened in Matisse the ''process of botanization'' by which human forms and vegetal forms coalesced in the artist's imagination.

The synthesis emerges in the paintings of Moroccans by Matisse, which are rarely portraits in any traditional sense of the term, so skimpy are they on facial details. Their emphasis is on costume and color, as if the subjects were fantastical flowers, not specific people (like many Europeans, Matisse seemed to view North Africans as exotica). ''Look at a tree,'' Matisse said. ''It is like a human being.''

Once the rain cleared, Matisse saw for the first time the Moroccan landscapes, far more lush than any he had known. He went almost immediately into the gardens of the Villa Brooks, a private estate not far from the hotel, and spent weeks painting the acanthuses, palms and periwinkles that covered the grounds. The landscapes he produced describe a kind of earthly paradise, a place where Matisse's Fauvist heritage, with its palette of unnaturally shocking colors, gave way to something subtler and more seductive.

Matisse obviously did not want to paint Morocco as he had seen it in the works of the French orientalist artists who had made pilgrimages to North Africa since the early 19th century. He strove for neither the picturesque nor the pornographic. Nude women bathing or revealing themselves for the delectation of Arab men - familiar themes in the works of such artists as Jean Leon Gerome - was far from Matisse's mind.

As it did for Delacroix, North Africa liberated his imagination. Matisse looked instead at the foliage, at the designs of the buildings and the textiles, and most of all at the quality of light, and he found a repertory of forms and colors that matched his decorative impulse. Decoration in Morocco was not like decoration in France. It was not secondary to an image; it was the principal subject. By painting the patterns and flowers and costumes he saw around him, Matisse realized that he could elevate decoration to something weightier and more evocative than it had been in certain of his earlier works.

In his sketchbooks, he recorded the way buildings tumbled down to the sea in Tangier, the way minarets went cheek by jowl with boxy stucco cottages, the way city squares looked in the afternoon, when the sun drove everyone indoors. He did not pretend to be anything more than an observer of this territory, an outsider on tour, as he presents himself in a witty pen-and-ink drawing, sketching a mosque in his topcoat under the gaze of a woman in chador.

His drawings were mental notes, quick reminders of what he had observed. Yet if they are slight, they do not lack insight or consideration. It is surely no mistake that in Matisse's sketch of the English Church in Tangier he emphasized the precision of a row of cypress trees, while elsewhere he depicted the marabout dome of the Casbah overrun by foliage. Europe was orderly and predictable. Morocco meant extravagance.

The drawings have been compiled and published for the first time by Jack Cowart, curator of 20th-century art at the National Gallery, who organized the exhibition with Mr. Schneider. ''Matisse in Morocco'' brings together almost all the paintings from the artist's two trips, as well as ''The Moroccans,'' which Matisse completed in 1915-16 at his home near Paris.

This curatorial feat could not have been accomplished just a few years ago. It has required the extensive cooperation of the State Pushkin Museum of Fine Arts in Moscow and the Hermitage in Leningrad, which own most of the Moroccan canvases. After closing here on June 3, the show travels to the Museum of Modern Art in New York from June 20 to Sept. 4, before going to the Pushkin in later September and the Hermitage in mid-December.

The paintings ended up in Soviet museums because Matisse worked mostly for two enlightened Russian patrons during his trips to Tangier, Sergei Ivanovich Shchukin and Ivan Abramovich Morosov. Shchukin, an importer of textiles and a lover of orientalism, was collecting Matisses before anyone else in Russia - and before most people in Paris - and it was he who bought not only ''The Vase of Irises'' but also several figure studies and other Moroccan works. Morosov commissioned the landscapes that Matisse painted in the gardens of the Villa Brooks.

The artist's relationship with his Russian patrons was more than a matter of money. Matisse visited Shchukin in Saint Petersburg and Moscow in 1911, shortly before his trip to Morocco, and to judge by the works he painted in Tangier, he was deeply affected by what he saw in the Russian churches.

The figure studies that Matisse sold to Shchukin - ''Amido,'' ''Fatma, the Mulatto Woman'' and ''Zorah Standing'' - are tall, narrow images resembling Byzantine paintings of saints. Zorah in particular, who squarely confronts the viewer in a costume as brilliant as almost anything in Byzantine art, brings to mind an icon.

But there is even something religious about the extreme quietude and heavenly plenitude of Matisse's Moroccan landscapes. And the seated pose of Zorah in ''On the Terrace'' suggests a woman praying.

''On the Terrace,'' it should be added, is part of a trio of works that the artist painted for Morosov. It was intended to be the centerpiece between ''Landscape Viewed From a Window'' and ''The Casbah Gate,'' although as with so many of Matisse's Moroccan paintings, the meaning of this grouping is not made clear. But it is interesting that many of Matisse's Moroccan paintings were executed in threes. Mr. Schneider may not be far off when he states, ''Where there are triptychs there is a preoccupation, be it subconscious, with the sacred.''

''The Moroccans,'' which he painted after his return to France, is a triptych, too, in that it combines three distinct memories of Tangier - a memory of the architecture, a memory of the people and a memory of nature. In the upper-left corner of this wide painting Matisse has presented a marabout dome; below is an abstracted scene of what looks like melons but can also be figures bowed in prayer. To the right is an even more ambiguous passage, which resembles an Arab in a burnoose.

The whole is bathed not in the dusky light of his earlier Moroccan canvases but in black. Matisse wrote at the time that he began to ''use pure black as a color of light and not as a color of darkness,'' and perhaps this was his way of reconfiguring the Moroccan sun. But also, by using so much black, he eulogized his experiences in Tangier. Clearly, Morocco remained for Matisse not simply a country of colorful characters and stirring landscapes but also a place of spirituality and mystery.

---

A version of this article appears in print on March 18, 1990, Section 2, Page 37 of the National edition with the headline: ART VIEW; How the Spirit Of Morocco Seized Matisse.

~ Michael Kimmelman · Mar 18, 1990.

[peacefulwriter88]

Ripples

Part 4 

Synopsis: What happens when you wake up married to Steve Rogers in a Las Vegas hotel suite? Especially when you have feelings for his best friend and his best friend has feelings for you? Only time can tell.

Reader POV

Warnings: Language. Angst. Nothing naughty yet ladies and gents...

A/N: Sorry for the delay  - work has been a bitch but here is Part 4. Super stoked for this part and the next so I hope you all enjoy! 

Tags are still open! Also i tried to fix the tag problem but if yours still isn’t working please let me know so I can figure out how to remedy the situation 

Need to catch up: Read Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Series Tag List: @captainxamerica, @just---love, @senpaiace, @glittercoveredsouls, @findacauseandserveit, @devil-may-cry-11-blog, @agentbarnescarter @mannatgalhotra @harrisbn @sapphire1727 @ishipmybed @nessy-bearxb @calaofnoldor @cautionconed @badassbaker @mannatgalhotra

Power is a finicky thing. You had seen governments fall - powerful families succumb to their worse fears trying to cling on to the delicate idea of having power. And once someone had it they never knew what to do with it. Except dangle it for the world to see, asking for someone stronger to challenge them. Because the truth of the matter was that humans had no idea what to do when they had achieved something. They always needed more. Power created restlessness.

That was how you felt as you walked up the New York Met steps.

It had been one week since your marriage with Steve. Things were off. You asked Steve for space and he granted it. Even if he woke up early to run with you to get an idea of missions for the day, or tried to help you with breakfast. Even if he left you lunch, worried that you never took the time to nourish yourself throughout the day or offered to make you dinner before you left for the night. Even if flowers started mysteriously popping up on your desk and the large stack of reports you had been meaning to organize and file away electronically had found a way on your desktop.

Steve knew how to give space like a toddler distancing themselves from their mother.

You dug your hands into your brown leather jacket, pulling out a few dollars to pay for your museum pass before walking through security. You walked up the steps, pulling your hair into a pony tail as you reflected on it all, a frown gracing your face. 

It was too much. You had just barely realized you had strong feelings for Bucky. You liked Bucky. Liked that behind all of his hard edges there was a softness to him, smooth and cool. Knew the kind of relationship you could have with him. The kind of life you could have with him - the kind of life you’ve wanted.

Steve was too apple pie for you. Too on the straight and narrow, even if he did recently make some changes that dictated otherwise. You knew the truth. Staying married to you was only happening because he came from a time where divorce wasn’t an option.

You didn’t want to linger on the way his fingertips would linger over your hands when he passed you a water bottle, or the sweet notes he’d leave with each meal, or the long note explaining how it took him all night, with Visions help, to scan the documents. How he paid Wanda to figure out your favorite flowers. Asking the question you had been trying to ignore for months now.

Did Steve Rogers like you?

You knew the answer to that. Knew it the moment you woke up naked beside him in a Las Vegas hotel room.

You found the photo you sat in front off all the time, bending down to the bench as you took in the large swirls and waves. You were early. Mainly because you had to get out of the compound. Because for every sweet thing Steve was doing, causing you to consider your feelings for him, Bucky had to make it thirty times worse.

You had to admit that the Winter Solider was good at disappearing. Since your fight in his bedroom he’d been impossible to track. If it wasn’t for the fact that he’d leave lists for his groceries for the week you’d think he’d had moved out completely.

He was avoiding Steve you knew. Just as much as Steve was avoiding him. Because even though Steve got up every morning to run with you, Bucky was the one who left a steaming cup of coffee on the kitchen island before Steve would meet you. Steve might help with breakfast and bring you lunch and dinner, but it's Bucky who's taking the dishes away, leaving behind pieces of dessert he knows you enjoy. Its Bucky that makes sure the flowers don’t die because you’re too busy to remember to water them. Bucky who carries you to his room when you’ve fallen asleep at your desk after working a late night, tucking you into his bed before disappearing for hours afterwards.

He doesn’t leave a note or let you know it's him. You just know.

You also knew that since your fight, Bucky had been talking to Sam constantly about how he could make up for the things he said. It was why you continued to feel conflicted between the two.

“It's a nice photo.” a man huffs at you and your eyes flit up, taking in the man in the grey suit as he sits next to you.

“Report.”

Neither men knew that you were sent in to monitor The Avengers. By everyone. FBI, MI-6, the Venetian Guard. You couldn’t tell them your former employer because your former employer was a network of all the world's top intelligence community.

Not even Tony knew. You wanted to tell him but….that ego of his always got in the way. You couldn’t afford it to.  If The Accords couldn’t happen in a way that kept the world balanced, someone had to babysit them. And you happily volunteered yourself.

You were tired of fighting for power. It was refreshing to try to fight for justice. Especially from the sidelines.

“Quiet. A few missions in North Korea, South Africa. Berlin. Nothing they couldn’t handle.”

“Damage control has been minimal.”

You huff.

“There’s a center for that now, you know.”

He gives you an incredulous side eye and you roll your eyes.

“I may have had a few conversations with Tony on how we can work on continuing to minimize it. Considering that most all the heavy players on his team, including him, are just wrecking balls ready to wreak havoc.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. Then he turns to you conflicted.

“Yea?” you ask and his eyes return to the painting.

“Why was a quinjet found in Vegas a week back?”

You groan. That was something you had hoped to leave out of your report.

“It was an ……. error.”

He’s silent and even though you keep your eyes trained in front of you, you know he’s looking at you with expectation.

“Steve got drunk-”

“Captain America can get drunk?” Terry chuckles, shaking his head. Terry was a good man. He was an even better spy. He had taught you how to say on the straight and narrow for so long, how to play all the sides.

Because at the end of the day, most of the sides didn’t give a damn about about who won and who lost.

“Yea. Asgardian Ale is a bitch. He got drunk. He got me drunk...we flew to Vegas. I’m handling it.”

“He got you drunk?” I turn to him and bite my lip. I should just keep this to myself. No one else, for now needed to know.

“Yep.” I lift my left hand. He’d find out eventually. Steve Rogers was a sweet man but he also had a big fucking mouth. Recent history has taught me that at least.

Silence. He’s trying to figure out how to maneuver around this before he straightens, standing up and slinging his jacket over his arm.

“Tell me all of it.”

By the time you return back to the Tower, it's late. You should just head home but….Terry’s lecture had you uneasy. He wanted you to end the marriage like he knew you planned too but there was something else behind his eyes. He was afraid you were getting too close to people. He already suspected your softness for Tony and Natasha. Knew you had a spot stuff for Bucky. Now married to Steve.

Fuck this mess just kept on getting bigger and messier.

You walked into an empty living room as you got off the elevator, surprised. It was Thursday night. This team lived for game night. Yet it was quiet and clean - the usual loudness and energy gone. You started to slide off your jacket off  when you heard his voice.

“They had a mission. Nothing serious, just recon work. Sam, Clint and Tony and Bruce went. And your husband.”

Bucky had been leaning against the island, a bowl of leftover stir fry in his hands, his shirt off, hanging loosely over his shoulders.  He was gleaming under the fluorescent lights and if you were a betting woman you would guess he had just finished a workout. His dark hair matted around him as his muscles flexed with each movement.

Goddamn you loved him like this. The things you wanted to do to him.

You had been frozen, watching him watch you before he smiled, turning around and placing his bowl down.

“Want some? I ordered way too much yesterday. And it's your favorite. Shrimp and chicken.”

You nod as he turns, gathering a bowl to put your leftovers in. Bucky didn’t like shrimp. He hated it, despite your many attempts to convince him otherwise. You both always ordered this when you went to your favorite pad thai restaurant and you wondered if he ordered it out of habit over sentiment. He throws the bowl in the microwave before looking at you, crossing his arms as you stand across from him.

“Day off treat you kind?”

It was the first time you had both spoken to each other since the fight in his room and you bite your lip, nodding.

“Go into the city?”

Another nod.

“Catch a show? Or stroll around city park….no, you probably went to the Met. You love that place.”

You watch him watching you before you ask,

“How do you know any of that?”

This could become a very serious problem. Bucky shrugs however, turning to the ding of the microwave.

“You tell me what you do on your days off. It's usually those three things. Very rare you're doing something else.”

You relax a bit, though you know your shoulders are still tense.

“Didn’t think you were actually listening.”

He tenses at this though he tries to hide it before whispering,

“I listen to everything you say.”

That silence again. He pushes the bowl towards you and you grab it, the heat taking you off guard and you yelp in surprise, bringing your lightly burned fingertips to your mouth.  He chuckles, rounding the island and grabbing your hands.

“Doll,” you hadn’t heard that one in a while. “You always get ahead of yourself. Let me help you.”

He takes your hands, raising a single finger to his lips before kissing each one very lightly on their pads, his eyes not leaving yours. You give a slight moan as his tongue flicks over the soft tissue and you feel your breath quicken.

“Bucky….” you whisper and he groans, dragging you closer to him as his hands find  their way to your waist. He rests his forehead against yours as he squeezes  his eyes tight.

“You are going to be the death of me Y/N.”

You're trying to ignore the way your hands had found themselves on either of his shoulders, the broad strong muscles cooling and heating you at once. Fire and Ice. That is what you had told him once, his eyes grinning at you as you held him as you did now. Your hand trails down his left scar in reverence as his eyes shoot open watching you. You're biting your lip so tight now the skin is white, trying to coax your trained mind to forget about the way he feels. How you want to taste all that is Bucky. Feel all that is Bucky.

You were a married woman after all. Even if you and Steve didn’t know what that meant.

Bucky had other plans, however. His hips jutted towards you, his grip around your waist tightening as he spins you so now your back is pressed against the counter. He lifts your arms above your head as his head dives to your neck, inches from your ear. You could feel his erection press against your soft core and you roll your hips against him, causing you both to moan.

“Tell me what you want and I’m yours.”

It was words up until a week ago you had been begging for him to say to you. It was what you had hoped your little blue number at the Stark party would grant you.

God, timing was a bitch.

“Tell me how I can make you happy princess. Tell me how I can become yours.”

The foreign Russian words aren’t lost to your ears and he knows it as he pushes closer to you and his lips skim down your neck, biting down on the sensitive flesh drawing a moan from you.

All of this was wrong. You knew that and wanted to push him away. But the way his mouth was moving against your skin had you lost in him.

You belonged to him as much as he belonged to you. He wanted to make sure you remembered that.

“Y/N.”

Natasha’s voice is near but far away enough for you to gain your senses, pushing him away as he stares down at you. His dark eyes are animalistic as he watches you, his mouth red from their assault on your neck as he deep pants match yours.  Its when he hears Natasha nearing that the guilt begins to mirror on your face, registering where you both were. Despite that, though, the look lingers.

Natasha rounds the corner, donning comfortable sweats with a thick folder of files in hand as she shakes her head at you.

“Thought we needed to go over the Latrine file.”

She’s looking at you with amusement and you know she walked in on the both of you minutes earlier. Probably watched for a solid couple of minutes before exiting and letting her presence known. It was written all over her eyes. If Bucky also knew this you didn't know. He grabbed his bowl and shirt, shaking his head and muttering something about going to the gym. Neither of you missed the smile of amusement on his face.

Nevermind - he knew.

When he’s gone, Natasha has that look in her eyes and you roll your eyes, grabbing your bowl and walking past her to the balcony. She follows quietly, not saying anything until you're both seated comfortably on the deck.

“You know, you can’t fuck Barnes and stay married to Steve. I don’t blame you for wanting the arrangement but it can’t happen. That’s wrong - even I know that.”  

You snort, taking a bite out of your food.

“I know. I….I wasn’t expecting to have that happen. Bucky has been avoiding me-”

“Bucky has been avoiding Steve who hangs around you if he’s not pulled into work lately.” Natasha corrects and you smile before looking at her.

“Natasha...what the fuck did I get myself into you?”

She laughs, shaking her head.

“I’ve been wondering that since I spotted you and Steve naked in a Las Vegas hotel room.”

You frown, spinning your food around before you mumble,

“I remember what happened that night.”

She raises a curious brow.

“Ok drama queen. Elaborate.”

You sigh, taking a bite out of your food before saying,

“....I may be royally fucked.”

“Why?”

You chew your lips, shaking your head.

“I think... I think I wanted to go to Vegas and marry Steve.”