#3 out of 5 stooges

[trashogram]

I dont know what i was doing. But, the goobers! (Psycho is my favorite that i did on this.)

AHH the boys!!! All of them properly labeled (Greasy = whore and Stupid = good boy). And Psycho looks so adorable! Thank you for sharing your art! I love them!!!!

[deus-ex-mona]

pretty minor thing to think about, but i find it interesting how chapter 7 is the first chapter illustration to show chizuutan as chizuru (instead of chuutan)

like, i get it’s a flashback chapter, but we hardly got to see her as chizuru in the previous few chapters thus far… maybe we’ll get to see more of her as her true self after the hiyori fight/make up? only future chapters may tell, i guess…

[sunni-stuff]

Part 1 This is part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

With the train ride now over, the sergeants ran, scouring the market for two familiar faces. Their footsteps in sync, crunching delicate mounds of white snow. Soap broke through the crowd first, then Gaz and Gary were right with him.

“Where the hell are they?” Gaz pants out, his breaths misting in the cold air.

“You said the marketplace,” Soap huffs.

“Yeah, I said the marketplace, but it's not like I know exactly where they went!” Gaz snaps back.

While the two sergeants bicker, Roach quietly breaks away, scanning the area until he spots the familiar figures they’d been hunting for. Price and Ghost stand outside a cigar shop, deep in conversation. The satisfied grin on Price's face tells Roach everything—he got what he was after.

“They’re over there!” Roach exclaims, snapping his partners out of their lovers' quarrel.

Gaz and Soap go silent, their eyes following Roach’s line of sight until they, too, spot their Lieutenant and Captain.

In a heartbeat, the three of them are sprinting toward their unsuspecting targets. Soap grins like a madman, practically buzzing with mischief, while Gaz shakes his head, both amused and slightly wary of what might unfold. Roach, meanwhile, is simply thrilled to be along for the ride.

They skid to a stop right in front of the two men, chests heaving as they catch their breath in the biting winter air.

“The hell is wrong with you lot?” Price’s voice cuts through, laced with a mix of annoyance and bemusement as he shifts his attention from Ghost to the winded sergeants.

Ghost, arms crossed, eyes them with quiet scrutiny. His winter coat does little to conceal his bulky frame, a silent reminder of his imposing presence as he stands beside Price.

Price and Ghost waited for an explanation, knowing well everytime those three got together, they were definitely up to no good.

Like how they put semi-permanent green dye in Ghost's shampoo for Halloween.

“We… we saw. A kid with your face,” Gaz manages, still catching his breath, pointing straight at Ghost.

Ghost raises a brow, baffled. A kid with his face? What the hell did that mean? Did they think he looked like a baby?

Soap huffs in mock disappointment, shooting a playful glare at Gaz. “Oi, I wanted to say it!”

Predictably, the two dive into another back-and-forth. Gaz isn’t one to shout, but Soap has a talent for riling anyone up.

Price lets their little show go on for only a moment before his stern voice cuts in, slicing through their bickering. “One of you properly explain, or you'll be walking back to base.”

Roach steps up, eager to clarify. “There’s a kid, probably about two, and she looks exactly like the Lt. Scowl, glare, and all!”

Price and Ghost pause, their expressions twisting as they both try—and fail—to imagine a little girl with Simon’s permanent scowl.

Price shudders, shaking the thought from his head. “That is not a face a kid should have.”

“That’s exactly what I said,” Gaz chimes in, nodding emphatically.

Ghost throws him an offended look, his usually hardened eyes showing a glimmer of hurt. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing!” they all exclaim in unison, even Price, who quickly averts his gaze as Ghost’s glare narrows on him.

Ghost huffs, then crosses his arms. “Did you take a picture?”

Soap snorts, leaning against the wall with a smirk. “Aye, right, 'cause that wouldnae be creepy at all.”

Ghost stares daggers Into Soap, rolling his eyes and pushing himself off the wall. “Okay, then where is she?”

The three stooges lead the charge once again, this time with their Captain and Lieutenant in tow. They weave through the crowd toward the train park, where Soap eagerly scans for the woman and kid he’d spotted earlier. But the line they were in is empty, the pair nowhere to be found.

“Shite. I think they’re gone,” Soap mutters, his Scottish accent thickening in his frustration, the words rolling out with a clipped bite. 

“So the imaginary woman and kid don’t actually exist,” Ghost deadpans, unimpressed.

“They exist!” Gaz insists, voice edging on exasperation.

“Sure,” Ghost replies, his tone flat and thoroughly unconvinced.

Roach snickers, then glances over at Price—only to see him staring slack-jawed through the window of a nearby café, his cigar dangling from his mouth, forgotten.

“Cap?” Roach says, touching the older man’s shoulder.

Price doesn’t look away, nodding toward the café. “Found them.”

Everyone turns toward the café, eyes landing on you and Adira. The little girl is happily weaving between your legs, her tiny hands gripping your coat as she entertains herself, all while you order hot chocolates to fend off the winter chill. A soft smile touches your lips as you watch her play, blissfully unaware of the audience gathering just outside.

The barista, with a warm smile, hands over two cups, one with a little extra marshmallows for Adira, her voice bright as she wishes you both a merry Christmas. You take the cups with a grateful nod, handing one to Adira. She immediately takes her drink, sipping eagerly, her small feet bouncing on her heels from the sugar rush.

“Yummy?” You ask, glancing down at her with a soft smile, a wave of motherly pride swelling in your chest as you watch her delight in the simple joy of her drink.

Adira nods eagerly, her eyes lighting up as she pulls away from her straw with a satisfied sigh. “Yummy.”

With a soft chuckle, you both leave the warmth of the shop, stepping out into the crisp air. Hand in hand, you walk back toward the park, the world around you feeling peaceful despite the cold. As you reach the crosswalk, you stop, waiting for the light to turn. Adira looks up at you, her little face filled with contentment as she swings your joined hands back and forth, her sugary energy still buzzing.

Across the way, the team stood frozen, unable to look away from the scene unfolding before them. Everyone but Ghost was struck by how much Adira looked like him—her features unmistakably mirroring his, save for the color of her hair and skin. The resemblance was uncanny, and for a brief moment, it felt like the world had stopped around them.

“She looks nothing like me,” Ghost stated plainly, his voice cutting through the stillness as though it were fact. His expression was unmoving, a wall of stubbornness in his eyes. He was ready to die on that hill.

Then, as fate would have it, a woman walking her dog passed by, and Adira’s cherub-like face hardened into a cold, calculating stare. It was subtle, but unmistakable. 

“Nevermind,” Ghost muttered, his earlier conviction faltering as he watched her shift before his eyes.

“So… you’ve been having fun these past years?” Roach asked, his gaze flicking between Adira and Ghost, curiosity getting the better of him.

“Not that I know of,” Ghost grunted, his eyes still locked on you and Adira, a mix of unease and something else flickering across his face. He couldn’t pull himself away.

“Let’s get closer,” Price commanded, already making his move. Soap and Roach exchanged a shrug, falling in line without hesitation.

“Excuse me?” Gaz sputtered, though his body had already begun moving before his brain could catch up, unable to defy the Captain’s order.

Ghost fell silent, teeth gritted. This wasn’t a situation he was used to, especially not one where he was forced to go in blind. He stood stiffly at the crosswalk, trying to hide his glances, his focus split between the team and you.

Soap ended up the closest, standing just next to Adira. The little girl paused, her big, doe-like eyes lifting from her drink to catch sight of him. The recognition was instant. Her lips pursed into a small line, and her gaze grew heavy with annoyance. 

“Ugee…” she whispered, scooting closer to you.

Soap froze, his mind stuttering for a moment. Did she just—? Did she call me ugly?

Gaz, standing behind him, couldn’t contain himself. A muffled laugh broke through as Soap turned to look at the others, wide-eyed and speechless, completely taken aback.

“Do ye lot think I'm ugly?” Soap asked, his voice thick with disbelief, clearly thrown off by the little girl's words.

“Not the time, Mctavish,” Price said, a tiny laugh tugging at the corner of his lips despite the situation.

The streetlight flickered green, signaling it was time to move. You adjusted yourself, ready to cross the street. Each member of the team started mentally preparing, unsure of how—or even if—they should approach you. Ghost, however, was the first to make a move, determined to intercept you. But Soap, ever the opportunist, beat him to it.

Ghost wasn’t exactly subtle, and having him try anything would probably send you running in the opposite direction.

“Excuse me, aren’t you the lady from the train?” Soap called out, his voice light, though his intentions were clear.

You paused at his interruption, recognition flickering in your eyes. You remembered the man who bumped into you earlier. “Yes? Is something the matter?”

“Do you happen to know where I could find Leslies?” Soap asked, a hint of uncertainty creeping into his voice, though he tried to mask it.

“The pub?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Soap confirmed, his face lighting up with a mix of relief and surprise at your easy response.

You look around for a moment, trying to remember and see the street names of your current location. “Uh…it should be about a couple blocks south from here. They have a big sign, you can't miss it.”

Thank God for Soap, because that one question was all he needed to keep you trapped in a conversation, his charm working its magic as you giggled and chatted away easily, the awkwardness of the situation melting away.

Meanwhile, Ghost’s attention shifted to Adira. He looked down at her, and she, almost instinctively, looked up at him. Their eyes locked in a silent staring contest, each of them studying the other. The intensity in their gaze was undeniable, both sets of eyes reflecting the same quiet, unwavering strength. It was like looking in a mirror—a mirror that mirrored back his own hardened stare and no-nonsense attitude.

Adira was, quite literally, his mini me. The resemblance was impossible to ignore.

“How old are you?” Ghost asked bluntly, his voice low as he kneeled down to Adira’s height, his gaze intense but trying to soften.

Adira paused for a moment, glancing up at you for help, but you were still caught up in conversation with Soap. She turned her focus back to Ghost, her small fingers fidgeting with the hem of her coat as she murmured shyly, “Two…”

She was two. Two. Ghost’s mind raced, trying to piece together the details, but nothing clicked. Nearly three years ago… what had he done three years ago? He kept everything categorized, stored in his mind like a well-organized file system, but this was something that didn’t fit.

Then, Soap’s voice broke through his thoughts. 

“You don’t seem like the type of lass to frequent Leslies.”

You giggled, a soft blush creeping up your cheeks at Soap’s question. He wasn’t wrong… at least, not entirely. “I’ve only been to Leslie’s once, and, well… it’s how I ended up with my little blessing.” You glanced down at Adira, the warmth of your smile radiating as you spoke.

Everything shattered in that moment. Ghost’s stomach twisted painfully, his heart skipping a beat as the realization slammed into him like a freight train. Leslie's. Almost three years ago, during that stupid holiday.

His mind began to piece it together, the hazy memories from that night slowly coming into focus. He remembered the bar, the laughter, the way you had caught his attention. You were easy on the eyes, easy to make laugh, and most importantly—unlike everyone else. You didn’t ask questions, didn’t pry, you just let him lead, let him slip into the night with no strings attached.

But now, as he looked at Adira, everything fell into place. The way she stared at him, those familiar eyes, the resemblance he couldn’t ignore. His breath hitched, and the weight of the truth crushed him—she was his daughter.

A knot formed in his throat as he tried to process the fact. Adira. His daughter. The little girl standing before him was his flesh and blood, the result of a moment he'd long since buried in the depths of his mind.

---

Taglist: @auradaniela98-blog-blog @cumsluut @unstqblecvrses @moraxnomora @serafina-nyx @sage-burrow @skylarmitchell @xx-wal1flower-xx @n-y-x04 @gluttonybiscuits @imahugenerdlol @wehrgabriel @blackhawkfanatic @tazuduck @soxocs @jingyuansspouse @cutiecusp @sleepyoriana @forgottensomewhere @puppylikethedog @spongelistener @caged-birdies-blog @bubblegirll26 @misscaller06 @fuckbananas03 @watu2ka @yukisdelusional @redroserabbit

[gaykarstaagforever]

YouTube has this thing now called YouTube Playables (great name as usual, guys; it's not a children's snack pack), that are basically in-app "Flash games"-style things that are just enough game to keep you watching ads.

The ones of these that aren't direct ripoffs of owned IP (very specifically Zuma) are barebones exercises in that bog-standard FTP addictive mobile gaming loop we all know and hate but also LOVE, minus the in-app purchases (for the time being). Like, shallow systems that are fun for exactly 30 minutes, then get stupidly hard so you'll pay to win, though you can't do that yet, so...kind of pointless.

...I still spent FOUR HOURS playing these, because they tapped into my primitive lizard brain's desire to try and master an utterly meaningless task and then feel undooly smug about it.

I didn't get any ads, because I'm a stooge that pays real money to Google every month for this, because once you go adless, you CANNOT go back. Which kind of negates the whole point of these, as addictive time-wasters that keep you glued to the platform and its commercials? But I already pay for YouTube and STILL got caught in these, so I suppose everything is going according to YouTube's plan either way, and I need meaningful human relationships.

But THAT isn't going to happen any time soon! So let me waste another evening on these by reviewing some crap garbage games for idiots that no one cares about, on Tumblr dot com!

1. Totemia: Cursed Marbles

It's Zuma. That's it. With a couple minor tweaks that make it harder and more annoying.

Just license Zuma, YouTube. I think you can afford the, what, $25 that would cost atm?

2. Sword Play

An on-rails sword slashing game (you don't control the movement, just the slashing), and you kill plastic doll guys before they kill you.

At some point they get projectiles that move really fast, that you can only destroy via specific directional QTEs that don't register properly half the time, because this is all relative finger smearing across the screen.

It was fun before that. The guys fall apart specific to how you slash them. That's something.

3. Dessert DIY

This one sucks. You're just picking from very limited options, then doing specific motions to trigger animations that create desserts that don't even look much like the promo art. People request different things, but early game all they ask for is "whatever you want to make" and "do one out of poop with bugs on it to make someone I hate throw up."

And then there's an animation of someone accepting what is obviously poop with bugs on it from their sworn enemy, they eat it anyway, then vomit.

The only fun part about this is the shameless inclusion of NPCs that look like celebrities, specifically Billie Eilish, Kanye West, and Donald Trump.

If you want to make a poop ice cream cone with bugs on it and feed it to Trump until he vomits all over his desk, this is the game for you. Otherwise, this is meh even for one of these meh games.

4. Bowmasters

Dueling Angry Birds, but you have no control of the camera and it focuses on you so you have to trial-and-error the degree of angle and throwing force to figure out how to hit and kill your opponent before they hit and kill you.

There are many colorful pop culture-inspired combatants to unlock, with a huge variety of projectiles of different weights, sizes, and behaviors. This is the most "very nearly a real, good game" one of these.

...Except that the level progression forces you to do Bonus Rounds, and one of those is "knock fruit off the head of an opponent without hitting them, and you have to do this like 5 times in a row, and we move you further away from them another 30 yards every round, and you have to use a wildly different unique projectile every round, and you get 3 chances, and that includes if you miss entirely."

It is basically impossible to do this, because your ever-changing location makes calculating arcs and force, with the ever-changing projectiles, impossible, in this limited amount of attempts. It turns into grinding it out until RNG randomly makes you win.

Which is a shame, because otherwise, this is fun. But you WILL get stuck on a stupid fruit round and stop playing this.

5. Mob Control

You have a cannon that launches blue guys. The NPC opponent does red. You both are trying to bumrush the other's base, taking advantage of buttons and switches and bonus gates that speed you up or slow you down and multiply your number of guys. Guys annihilate each-other when they run into each-other, so you need to overwhelm Red before they overwhelm you.

It's fun until it gets so fast that it becomes a chore to manage where precisely to launch guys specifically to annihilate other guys.

6. Merge Master

This goddamn game. This was 3.5 hours of my 4 hour playtime.

You have a grid board, with you at the bottom and an opponent at the top. You both have an army of warriors and dinosaurs, and a team HP bar. You click go, the warriors fire projectiles and the dinosaurs melee the nearest enemy, and last man standing wins.

Before each round, you can arrange the placement of your army, and use money you won from the last rounds to buy more warriors and dinosaurs. But the kicker is, you can combine like warriors and dinosaurs to make more powerful units, which you keep at the end of every round. They don't gain XP or anything, but as you make more money, you can buy more 1st-level units (that's all you can buy), and gradually combine them and then combine the combinations, and on and on and on, making incredibly powerful new units. And you need a mix of low-level and high-level units to have enough melee dinosaurs and projectile-throwers to overwhelm high-level enemy units, or draw fire away from your own, against the ever-changing enemy army each round.

It's a process of slowly adding more units and combining them to make stronger and stronger units, and as many of them as you can get, accounting for the limited board space. Also the price of units rises exponentially each round, so you may have 1 trillion gold, but at this point a new 1st-level dinosaur costs 245 billion.

I couldn't stop with this. It just got me. I wanted to see new exciting high-level warriors and dinosaurs, and see how fast I could take the other army down. There's more than zero strategy at work here, and battles can vary substantially from round to round, depending on what mix of units the enemy brings to the board.

It's still a rudimentary Flash-esque game, and very much akin to those shitty mobile boss rush games that raid our shadow legends. But it's not PTW yet, and the graphics are a charming and distorted replica of early 2000s 3D games, like Age of Mythology or GTA 3. It felt like something, for awhile.

It isn't, and I wasted valuable battery charge on this stupid shit. But I was having fun. And sometimes, that's enough.

...And posting about it here. It's something to talk about that isn't the world eating itself.

And we all need that sometimes.

[blackbirdsblackberries]

I Hate The New Hero!

Part 7 - Three Stooges And A Minty Accident

Pt 1 - Pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4 - Pt 5 - Pt 6 - Pt 7 (You're here) - Pt 8 - Pt 9 - Pt 10

Just a warning, there will be an allergic reaction in this chapter, I don't know if it does call for a warning or not but I just want to be safe! Also, Characters are somewhat ooc, so, sorry for that!!

Water drips onto the tiled floor as you stand in the broken down bathroom of the apartment. Your hands grip onto the sinks and you look at your puffy, icky complexion.

You'd like to say you had taken the humiliation with grace, just simply walked it off. But you didn't, you couldn't stop the tears falling down you heading home and you're sure if there were anymore tears left to cry you would still be crying.

Honestly though, what were you expecting? You had a feeling something bad would happen, it's the Waynes after all.

Your phone is now unusable so you can't even contact your friends Sherri and Tia, both of whom you haven't spoken to much in the past couple of days.

You feel bad, the girls had been there for you since day 1. You're sure that if you had told them about your hero persona they'd support and try to help you - because that's what friends do.

You sigh as you decide to take a warm shower, you can already tell you're going to get sick but can only hope that somehow the spider bite would stop it from happening too harshly.

The water is warm on your skin as you stand there disassociating. You wish you stay there forever but your parents definitely wouldn't appreciate you raising the water bills.

You get out and dress in something comfortable - and more importantly, dry.

The whole day has been a shitshow and you just want to die. But, you are anything but a quitter - at least, you hope so.

Deciding to open up the laptop you see the time is already 3pm, that means school is out! Sherry and Tia are probably online now, so, you message them on the laptop.

You desperately needed a distraction from everything so Sherri, Tia and you decide to head to a nice cafe - one that doesn't have a bucket of ice cold water waiting to fall on you.

Heading to your room you put on your shoes and fish out $10 from a small piggy bank in your wooden chest. You head to the nearby cafe, a pep in your step as you go.

Meanwhile Duke was hanging out with Steph and Cass, the two girls wanting to invite him along to one of their outings, they had gotten pedicures, did some shopping, walked around a park and were now stopping at a cafe to get some drinks.

They hadn't checked the GC all day - in fact, they had silenced it due to the amount of messages going through.

Steph orders a chocolate milkshake, Cass orders a mint tea and Duke decides to order a hot chocolate. He was meant to be patrolling today but today was oddly peaceful so he decided against it.

The three sit down at a nearby table, unaware of the three people waiting in line behind them.

You however were not so oblivious. As soon as you walk in your face falls and a bad feeling washes over you - something bad is about to happen. Your spidey senses didn't need to enact for you to tell.

Still, you power through. Your friends are excited about this cafe and you don't want to be a buzzkill..

"(Reader)? Helloooo?" Tia waves a hand in front of your face jokingly as you snap out of your dread-filled state. You chuckle and roll your eyes playfully "Stop it Tia! You aren't funny!"

Tia gasps and dramatically puts a hand on her chest and pouts. "(Readerrrrrrr), you're actually so mean! Are you a secret villain or something?"

Before you can respond Sherri comes back, having ordered the drinks for you all. The cafe is crowded and you guys either have the choice of sitting next to a group of suspicious men or the three heroes.

Before you can weigh in Tia and Sherri already move to the table next to Steph, Cass and Duke so you have no choice but to sigh and follow, hoping nothing bad happens.

Duke glances over at the three who had sat at the table next to theirs out of curiosity. Upon seeing (Reader) he stiffens up slightly - out of everyone he's the one who has some of the least beef with (Reader) because he's convinced that if (Reader) just talks to Aranea then they'd stop being such a hater.

Yet, he knows Steph will make a deal of it if she sees (Reader) there, with snarky remarks made loud enough for the other three to hear, glares and dirty looks and possibly even confrontation. Cass wouldn't really react, she doesn't have much of an opinion on (Reader), at least not that she speaks on.

So overall, he's gotta try and not have Steph notice. Luckily, despite the cafe being to busy everyone already had their drinks and food. It was only Duke's group and (Reader)'s group left to be served. And as luck would have it both orders came at the same time.

You're laughing with your friends, trying to not draw attention to yourself - you could feel Duke glancing at you from time to time and pray that he won't start anything.

You get your drink, excited to finally get (Favorite drink) after so long. These days you rarely have the chance to get it, either not having time or not having money.

Sherri is joking around with Tia and you take a sip of your drink, too engrossed with the conversation to notice something off until the third sip.

Pausing you stare down at your drink and lick your lips. "Uh guys, this isn't my drink.." You state, looking at them. Normally it wouldn't be such a big deal but this time it was - you just had three regular sized sips of mint tea.

Mint is an allergy you picked up from the spider bite. Something you are now deathly allergic to.

At the same time Cass has already noticed that it isn't the drink she had ordered. She noticed straight away but Steph was too busy rambling on about some high school drama to let anyone else get a word in.

It's not that big of a deal for her, it's just that this drink wasn't her favorite. Looking to the table next to her she sees (Reader) with their friends, the cafe is very loud so she has to strain to listen to their conversation but by facial expressions alone she can tell.

Nothing good is happening.

Sherri is freaking out, like seriously freaking out. She gets up from her chair and quickly goes to call an ambulance, only stopped by you gripping onto her arm - it's too expensive to go to the hospital by ambulance.

Tia is by your side trying to make sure you stay conscious, she's also searching up remedies to try and help.

Your tongue is swollen, your mouth is itchy and your throat feels like it's closing in. Your abdomen is screaming in pain and you feel like vomiting, you can't breath yet you need to cough. You feel dizzy, your pulse beating slowly in your ears. It's too much..

The commotion draws attention of onlookers including Steph and Duke - Cass was already watching.

Duke is horrified - your face is purple-ish red! You're scratching at your neck like an animal and your friends are freaking out so much that you'd think you were turning into some kind of monster!

Steph is shocked - when did you get there?! Also, whats happening? She doesn't think and just immediately gets her phone out and films it, she knows she should call an ambulance but this could help in the future! Plus, surely someone else had called paramedics.

Cass' eyes are widened in shock, and she feels frozen in place. Her instincts want to kick in, having been skilled in quick response. But she doesn't do anything but stare. Should she do something? Yes. Will she continue to be a bystander? Also yes.

Eventually Duke has enough of people just standing around and watching you have a severe allergic reaction - or atleast, that's what he guesses it is. He steps up to you and gently grabs your arm and pulls you outside. Your friends stay behind to clean up any mess - even though they desperately wanted to follow you and Duke.

An ambulance arrives and Duke sits in the back with you. You're freaking out, he supposes it's due to the allergic reaction. He's only a third right.

In actuality you're freaking out due to the hospital bill - and by extension your parents - as well as the fact that DUKE THOMAS is in the back of an ambulance with you.

Why? You have no clue. Your spidey senses don't go off but you're still scared, you hate the whole Wayne clan with your whole heart. After the issue with Dick today the last thing you need is to be in the back of an ambulance with Duke.

Yet, as your vision fades the last thing you see is Duke's worried face.

~

Taglist (can be finicky, sorry!)

@rissareader @delias-stuff @hogwarts9 @marsmabe @randomlyappearingartist @coralaura @nervousalpacalady @citrushalo @chericia @soriansick @v0idl1nq @scrumdidiliyumyum @kittykatcreatster @feral-childs-word @anon34570 @shycreatorreview @sunny-sp3lls @fluffypackofships @cynniee @yuyuzi-ling @coffeeaddictxd @starryperson @readermommy @niggrrooo @bunbunboysworld @yanrandom @fluffypackofchips @vanilliona @wizzerreblogs

[i-am-minty-fresh]

Little details in fanfiction that I always appreciate when authors add (shout out to One Piece authors!)

Feel free to add more in the comments/reblog! Will be updating!

1. Usopp having a different hair texture/wearing protective styles.

2. Different languages. The different seas have all different languages with dialects from specific islands (bonus points for Zoro’s island teaching him a Wano language while he also knows Eastern).

3. The crews hands being calloused. Sanji, Zoro, Franky, Usopp, and Nami would naturally have callouses from doing their interests. Luffy, Robin, Jimbei would have them from the various hard lives that they’ve led.

4. The crew having scars. Zoro’s arms would have cuts from learning how to properly swing a sword, Sanji’s would similarly be from learning how to use different knives, Luffy’s never carried if he gets a little torn up and he lived in the woods…he’s gotta have a ton of little scratches here and there, etc.

5. Brook knowing about older things when he was alive OR

6. Giving him a backstory before he joined the Rumbar Pirates.

7. Robin knowing sign language. With her fruit it would be perfect.

8. Nami and Usopp sending letters to Vivi and Kaya. (Really just any of the crewmates keeping their loved ones consistently updated).

9. Usopp having depression or a diagnosed anxiety disorder.

10. Trauma or PTSD. Come on…they all would have their ‘little things’ (Zoro sleeping by the stairs ‘just in case’, Sanji having some kind of eating problem, Luffy having nightmares about Marineford, etc.)

11. Goth family.

12. Zoro and Luffy having a thing. Maybe it’s not them dating specifically, but everyone else in the stories just being like, “but it’s Zoro and Luffy…it’s different between Zoro and Luffy”

13. The crew talking about their dead loved ones (I especially love when Nami, Usopp, and Sanji talk about their moms).

14. Creating an interesting backstory behind Zoro’s missing parents AND

15. Creating a truly hilarious three stooges-esque situation for Zoro’s scared up eye during the time skip.

16. Robin runs a book club/tea time with Sanji and Brook.

17. Sanji knows how to walk/run/fight in heels.

18. Chopper wants to hold his crewmates hands while they walk (or full on get carried by them).

New Additions:

19. Sanji doing all the cleaning and laundry.

*20. Chopper and Sanji being nutritional powerhouses!

*21. Zoro taking naps because he does the night shift protecting his crew.

*22. Sanji having insomnia or some kind of sleep issue.

*23. Luffy being super physically affectionate with his crewmate (hanging off of them, cuddling at bedtime, zero personal space, etc.)

*24. Nami being good with kids.

25. Sanji having Steel-toed boots.

*Numbers 20-24 are brought to you by @c0ckonfettii thanks so much! Lovely suggestions!

[fatsamsgrandslamspeakeasy]

Some warnings before you venture further  - - - 

1) This is your first, last, and only warning about content on my page.  If you do not like conservative views or are a liberal, you have been warned and I accept no responsibility for your interpretations, right or wrong, about items I post because frankly, IDGAF.  This includes my views on abortion, LGBTQ, Christianity, Donald Trump, Biden and his administration, gun control, or anything else you find that offends your senses.  Grow up buttercup, the world does not care about your feelings, and that goes double for MOI...!! 

2) If you are a minor, come back when your are over the age of majority in your locality.  If I catch you on here, I will block you for all eternity from access to my page!!

3) My views are somewhat controversial on some topics, so if you come across something that offends your fine sensibilities, just keep scrolling because I really do not care about liberal comments and you will not get a rise out of me because guess what – I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR PRECIOUS FEELINGS!! I would also respectfully remind you to simply ignore my offending posts the way you have ignored the obvious corruption in our government under Biden's watch.

4) If you want to make a keen observation with a conservative viewpoint and/or would like to have an adult discussion about a post without resorting to name calling, please feel free to message me.  Otherwise, just shut your yap and keep scrolling.  I like to have discussions that are respectful and bring out points without being called names. However, if you insist on being an asshole, please know that I can be 100X the asshole you can be. You will find out very quickly that it's a hell of a lot easier to jump on, than it is to jump off!

5) If you try to hit me up for donations for the Palestinian cause, you are so wasting your time. These will be deleted post-haste! Why, you ask??? Simple: I remember only too clearly when the news came back on on September 12, 2001, the live footage of the Palestinians in Gaza, and muslims in Libya, Lebanon and other nations in the Mid-East proudly burning the American flag and openly celebrating the destruction of the WTC Twin Towers and the deaths of thousands of American citizens. YOU made the choice then to have me as your eternal enemy and so you and your cause can go take a flying fucking leap into the void......

6)  I am an older man (early 60’s) and happily married to my wife.  I’m not here for hookups.  I had to put this out there, believe it or not, because there is a whole brand of females out there that are attracted to older men. And if you are a scammer, using a pretty face to try to solicit $$$ from me, WOW!! did you choose the wrong blog. I ain't no love-starved kid looking to get laid. You won't get a red cent so move along....nothing to see here!

7) I write like I speak!!!! And, I speak 3 languages fluently: Brooklynese, Sarcasm, & Profanity.

8) I am a HUGE fan of JAWS, PAUL WILLIAMS, DARK SHADOWS, UNIVERSAL MONSTERS, BONANZA, ABBOTT & COSTELLO, LAUREL & HARDY, THE 3 STOOGES, VINTAGE MARVEL & DC COMICS, and ANIMALS (especially DOGS) so there will be more than a fair smattering of posts on those topics.

9) I DO NOT FOLLOW EMPTY BLOGS.  If you like my stuff and want me to follow you, you need to have some content.

10) Have a nice day and stay cool out there!! 😎

[abyssal-maiden]

Serpent's Hearth Pt. 5: Blissful Sacraments

Apologies for the delays! College is like that sometimes. Please hydrate and eat my lovelies. <3

Chapter warning: xBloodplayx xBoundingx xSmutx

!!!MDNI!!!: 18+ (( xbloodplayx xsmutx xpregnancyx xothersinsx))

XTouchStarvationxLightYanderexEnemiestoLoversxSizeDifferencex

Your senses initiate to the repeated sound of knocking. As your lids flutter open, you are confronted with…him. You lift your head, Messmer's warm hand slides down to rest over the left side of your collarbone. The forgotten lord of flame, snoring softly, beautifully slumped around you, serpents nestled comfortably between. He looked so peaceful and forlorn simultaneously. The knocking persists. You gingerly reach, brushing fiery strands from his face to reveal his closed eye. As you shift, the reptilian companions stir slightly, exposing Messmer's glowing iris as he wakes. He looks at you blankly for a minute as if deciphering if you’re real. He sits up slowly, hand running up your shoulder and cupping your neck before leaning into a gentle peck. He moves to your ear, kissing just beneath it, inhaling deeply before moving away. His scaled kin hiss in protest, hopelessly pulling at his frame towards your comfortable body heat. He sits on the edge of the bed groggily, securing his discarded gambeson around his waist as he stands. Quietly striding towards the door, rubbing his eye.

He’s careful not to open the threshold of the room too wide, opting to slip out and close it behind him. An ancient woman with a cane gives him a suspicious look through narrowed eyes. 

“Egidia…” He sighs.

“My lord.” The finger reader gives a shaky head bow. The servant pair holding her chair up look to be spent following the climb. 

“Forthwith with thy purpose..” he groans, still digging at his tired socket. “Thou wouldst disturb mine slumbering state, the first in moons.” 

At this, the old woman chuckles. “Most curious then, thee hath joined us in the corridor…” she ventures, glancing at the door, taking in his lack of shirt and steel. “ Wouldst thou not prefer to converse in thy bed-chamber, my lor-”

“State thee objective crone.” He hisses quietly over her.

“Very well, my lord.” She croaks in a malcontented tone. “Thee hast appointments to attend. Tis nearly high noon.”  She lifts her hand, the servants standing. “Dost thou intend to break thee fast this meridie?”

“I do desire such this day. See to it that it is grand. Enter not thine chambers unannounced.” He glowers as the group turns. “Do postpone mine audiences, I wish to bathe. Dismiss mine throne house servants until niht.” 

She looks as if to protest; the slitted eye of her sovereign warns her to cease any resistance. As they descend, he can hear the old matron cursing under her breath. He feels generous today; choice words never seem to affect the finger’s witch anyway, and he would not dare depose his mother's stooge too harshly. He enters the room to see you sitting at the table next to the window, observing the rampart. You’ve added a log to the fire, giving it new life in the cold stone hovel. A smile plays on his lips; you look beautiful in the midday glow of the Scadu Tree’s remains as your eyes cast over the distant ruins across the canyon. You turn your head to his towering image, a subtle look of uncertainty in your visage.

“Messmer…”

“Beg thee...another eventide to enjoy thou spell of firmament…” He murmurs, kneeling to sit eye-level, hand raising your knuckles to his lips. The heat grazes them as he soaks in the sight of you, your presence. His eye is vulnerable, his timbre possessive, like a puppy with a capacity for murder. He searches, but the flames have dispelled from your eyes. Verily, I shall make thee gaze shine anew, lightless minx.

He’s grasping at your head and pulling you to his lips. Leaning forward into your enchantment. He’s on his knees in front of the stool you inhabit, clinging to you as his tongue osculates around your own. His fingers hungrily dig through your hair, sliding down your frame at individual paces, exploring delicate blushing flesh under the calefying aura of his touch. The wood scrapes as he pulls your seat toward his chest so that his chin is nestled comfortably between your breasts. He looks up at you unguardedly, his face flushed. He parts his lips to speak but is interrupted by another knock at the door. He sits up from his crouching posture, sighing. 

“Mine honored beauty, sit upon the bed but for a moment.” He whispers, pulling your hand as he gets up.

Following his lead, you plant yourself on the side of the large circular piece. He smiles, finger tracing your chin as he draws the tattered curtain past its scorched edge. He answers the door once more. You survey the burns in the fabric, how they're ripped into frayed holes at the front end as if taken in rage, several of the small rings broken off the rod above. From behind the veil, the clattering of trays and the hushed pleasantries of several servants entering and departing can be heard. You try your best to hold your breath.

He’s met with a pout when he pulls the curtain back, his brow communes a look of concern. The attitude dissolves almost instantly when the heaping feast behind him beckons you. Every fruit, grain, green, and meat you could imagine was laid intricately on a tray, white groupings of various cheeses dotted in different parts. 

“I’ve never seen so much fresh food in one place…” Your eyes betray a look of esurience. He seems delighted, standing straight, a proud gleam in his eye at your amusement.

“Tis for thee…” he glances away bashfully—his hand motions for you to sit at the table again. He drags his chair to the flank of your stool. Hand drawing circles on your thigh as he watches you eat. He periodically snags a grape, a chunk of cured meat, an olive, the like—his attention shifts between your lips and your hands. The serpents intruded by flecking at the dried delicacies and retreated at a soft cough from their master.

“Forgive me, I must quell these ravenous pests.” he hisses, rising and walking to the room's opposite corner. A small door above the end table opens, and he reaches in, fingers gripping the tails of a couple of mice. You could hear the squeaking terror as he tossed them into the air. The rest you turn away from, 

Your meal, however delicious, adjourned shortly after. Messmer excuses himself, returning a few moments later to collect you. He insists on carrying you down the winding staircase, passing the hall from which you originated. The snakes snuggle up in your lap and the curve of your neck. His heart beats quickly against your eardrum as you rest your head against him; glancing up, you meet his gaze. The glowing of his seal always gave away his attention in the dark, but he did not shy away from you now. 

“I cannot recall when last I enjoyed companionship…”

“How…long has it been for you..?” You blush in the dark, thankful for the dimly lit area. You had not been with a man since your reanimation and hoped it was not evident from your performance. 

“Well….” he pauses momentarily, the steps echoing around your movements. “I suppose…fifteen, no, sixteen hundred cycles now.”

You hear the wall appears behind you after exiting the stairwell. Another previously unseen awning across from the entry gate emits a pleasant aroma mixed with humidity.

How many fucking secrets did I miss?

The bathroom pillars extend the length of the room—a charred granite disrupted by cracks of gold from the floor to the vaulted ceiling. The space is filled with steam, myrrh wafts along with it. Trays of exquisite crystalline bottles line the right side of the wide bathing pool. The sides of the bath host an indented sitting ledge along the entirety of the inner perimeter, delving deeper towards the back of the room. Custom-built for the giant pawing at your thighs as he sets you on your feet. The ancient-looking candle stacks come to life as he enters, dropping his vestments on the slab floor and stepping down. He turns to you, holding his lengthy arm out, clawed hand extended. The serpents seem to gather together on his shoulders, giving the impression they dislike this particular activity. 

You take his hand, venturing out over the first step, water lapping at your thigh as it sinks into the warmth. He looks down and chuckles at your height. 

“Mine perfect toy.” He mumbled, sitting on the ledge and drawing you down onto his lap in the hot water. 

His fingers move in the air, and the doorway gives way to the illusion of brick.  Hands sloppily eager with pursuit, sliding up between your breasts to grip your neck, the other between your thighs. He inhales along your neck, pulling your head back, nipping your ear before rasping quietly.

“Ne’er have I felt such in the presence of another.”  His fingers spread across the gap of your thighs under the water, his ring and index gently running down your labia carefull not to part it just yet. 

“I extend thee an accord, A union wrought in lightless possession.”

Your mouth opens to speak, but his grasp slips into your open lips, nail tracing the center of your tongue.

“I wish to bind thee.” He groans, lifting you slightly with his grasp on your pussy. “Such impious fealty I would pay with mine own head.” 

His fingers curl, gripping the front of your slitted joy, plunging only knuckle deep. They teasingly alternate under the water; you feel his breath in your ear again.

“I will make thee fold in mine thrall.” he moans, you can feel his throbbing member against your back as he yanks at your cunt. “Thou shall want for naught, ne’er another.”

You moan around the digit penetrating your lips. His iris trembles with ecstasy, watching his finger covered in your saliva slide through your muffled mewls. 

“Agree.” He pulls harder against your sensitive clit, fingers parting the folds in the bath's warmth. 

“Agree.” His whisper is more commanding than before. His tongue slides up your neck; he sucks gently before plunging the two fingers into your hole.

“Say you are mine, mine alone, tarnished.” His finger pulls out of your gasping breaths as the two inside of your slit move around. His lips part in the effort, his pumping feverish before he moans again.

“ Say you are mine.”

“Yes me-MesSMer!” That familiar pulsing forms in your guts as his fingers dig into your core. “I am for thee alone!”

“Speak with sincerity, cherished little toy!” He hisses in your lobe, pulling back and using his spit-slicked grip to turn your face towards him. The water splashes around his bicep as he beats your cunt with his large hand.

“Dev…Devotion, my lord. I will bid devotion!” you call out as your body spasms in a twitching symphony around his hot fingers. The snakes have regained motivation as they observe and caress your flushed face.

You gutturally moan when he rises, gripping your left breast and right hip. The water cascades down as he stands, spinning around so your hands are slapped against the cold perimeter before being seized again. There is no hesitation in the first thrust as he bucks into you from behind, begging you for your capitulation in short, murmuring bouts. Miel and Purkoy constrict your arms, pulling them back into Messmer's thrusts. His hand leaves a stinging mark on your ass as he loses himself, hips jerking forward wildly against your addictive body. He leans down, the force of his cock pushing you to drooling bliss. 

“Thee must submit most wondrously, exchange for mine endless heed. Give me wholeness, and I will reward thee eternal.” The silk command flows into your mind easily.

You nod vigorously as he pulls on your hair, using the excess leverage to push the limits of your distending folds.  His sharp talon slides across the side of your neck as he pounds relentlessly, his glowing eye obsessive as he watches your blood well up. He rips at his palm, waiting for your gasp as his teeth sink around the slit on your throat, slipping his blood into your maw and stifling the moan. The taste of copper laces with the heat of his flaming ichor, running down your throat, warming your body as your breasts slip and bounce against the granite of the bath with each forward motion of your lover's girth. His moan vibrates against your neck as he sucks.

“Yes, oh....gods. F-fuck, yes!” your voice is barely audible as the pounding of your snatch mixed with the splashing of warm water against Messmer’s swinging testicles and tensed thighs as they collide with your rump.  

He smears his blood all over your beautiful chin, pretty deep crimson on glass skin—your cheeks tingle, your eyes alight with his flame once more. He mewls joyfully at the sight, his left hand cupping your oblique before sliding to feel your tummy underneath. He moans, feeling the way his cantilever is hollowing you through your soft skin as he drives vigorously into your quaking split. His blood is eventually dripping from your hip, shoulder, neck, everywhere as he squeezes each part possessively with his leaking palm. Taking account of your form with his abyssal envy, moaning in ecstasy as he paints you in red. He can feel his need pooling in his lower stomach.

“Thou’rt mine.” He lustfully calls out to you.

His hot palms wrap the front of your thighs; the serpents tighten their hold on your arms. He’s lifting you, shoving himself into your tight trembling pussy. You’re on the verge of melting away while suspended when he shoves one of your legs up onto the edge of the pool. One hand stroking the base of his cock as he watches the cream of pleasure slowly collect along his shaft with each push of his convulsing monster. The constriction of your walls sucks every drop of his semen from his hulking phallus. You hear his hands come down on either side of your stimulated being as his faltering pace becomes slow and deep, shooting hot pangs against the limits of your sensitive walls. His long hair tickles your arched back. He stays like that, panting, pulling out with a slight gasping hiss as he views the mess he’s implanted spilling down your inner thighs. 

“Thou’rt mine.” He repeats, sitting back down in the bath, head leaning against your thigh as you lean on the side for a second to catch your breath. He pulls you back onto his lap.

“Thou’rt bound by blood.” He turns you, pulling your chin and placing a long, steamy smooch against your willing lips. “Thou willst know the imbuement of everlasting longing”

Your tongues dance for a while, the cloud of red surrounding you two dissipating over time. The mixture of blood adorns both of your faces as it is exchanged between the caressing of cheeks. The ritual is only dispelled when a shocked gasp sounds from the direction of the doorway. 

Master List

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[madnesshyperfixation]

Pink Madness Combat General Headcanons  

This list will get additions on it at later points in case I think of more headcanons.

Anway Pink Madness Combat is basically Pink Hank but what if they were entirely different universes etc.

Last Edited: 3/17/25 Grammer Fixes

Pink Hank 

Speed Spite Sass, this man will make his existence everybody's problem 

Pink Hank has a body built for speed, and speedy he is, he zips around the battlefield with ease, and nobody can catch this fucker except for Pink 2BDamned 

He’s gotten a high resistance to sedatives thanks to 2B’s frequent sedation of him to make him STFU and stop moving 

I would think unlike regular Hank that Pink Hank is a lot chattier, and whatever comes out of his mouth is purely to annoy the shit out of others. 

Constantly bored needs a lot of stimulation, honestly, I think he’d love puzzles, it can keep his attention and it’s a score if it involves moving around  Bonus points if someone mocks him that he can’t do a puzzle, and he will figure it out via pure SPITE. 

Pink Hank likes to kill with style and drama, so you will frequently see him preforming backflips or putting a little flair on his kills 

Speaking of killing all his weapons are some variations of pink and have charms on them 

Pink Deimos 

Pink Deimos is a giant flirt, flirts with anyone but mainly flirts with Sanford if he's got the option.  And when I say flirt Pink Deimos will literally flirt with anyone, enemies, allies, people actively trying to kill him, there is no off switch to this guy and his flirting. 

Calls Pink Sanfords pecs Tits at every given opportunity.  He is not a morning person oh my gooooddd let me sleep iiinnnn, Pink Sanford ends up having to drag him out of bed 9 times out of 10. 

He has flirted with Pink Hank and got sent through a wall for it, he ended up in the med bay for a few days because of that but did he learn? No, no he did not. 

The flames he can produce are more akin to electrical fire, creating high voltage fire sparks instead of something more stable formed like a small flame from a match, which makes lighting his cigarettes a good bit harder 

Pink Sanford 

Pink Sanford is built like a goddamn tank, just... so buff... 

The only downside is that Pink Deimos likes to call his pair of beefy pecs “Tits” instead of pecs 

He’s got a louder personality, a lot more boisterous and outgoing, super nice 

His voice is either outdoor or whisper and there’s no in-between 

He is the biggest morning person much to the dismay of Pink Deimos, usually he drags Pink Deimos around until he is awake enough 

Pink Sanford’s tea glasses are now hearts and pink lol 

When he cooks expect a great display but about mediocre taste, he sacrifices some of the flavor to his cooking to make it look cooler 

Way more into making bombs, loves the "aesthetic" of walking away from an explosion, cool guys don't look at explosions.

His back tattoo is a lot more intricate and detailed; the Helix pattern is probably looped in with some other DNA shaped spirals  

Pink 2BDamned 

And then there's Pink 2BDamned, absolutely tired of Pink Hank's shit and personality, he is also powered by spite like Pink Hank, but also includes coffee, a lot of coffee, like Jebus Christ oh my god how have you not keeled over yet you old man? 

His coffee at minimum has 5 shots of espresso and is as black as his soul, although Pink Sanford has slowly been getting him into adding whipped cream 

Since the day Pink 2B had Pink Hank join SQ it has been nonstop regret and evaluation his life choices (and synthesizing more powerful sedatives) for even thinking of extending that offer to Pink Hank. 

Whenever he makes a sedative for Pink Hank it only works about 4 times before he needs to synthesize a new one.

The two sass each other on a daily basis if Pink Hank isn’t sedated. 

Has a candy jar that he uses to entice good behavior out of the 3 stooges 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for throwing out expired food from the family fridge?

I (17F) live with my dad (54M) and my mom (53F), but my mom works out of the country a lot. My dad is normal and seems to have a sense of shame(? for lack of a better word) when my mom's at home, but when she's working abroad, sometimes for months at a time, my dad kinda spirals. Necessary background is I'm also mildly immunocompromised.

When mom's home, he never does weird stuff, but once she's been gone for about 3 weeks, he starts getting weird.

He does things like cut mold chunks out of (soft) cheese and then put it back in the fridge, and once full on tried to convince me that so called 'live foods' like yogurt and kefir and tofu don't expire because 'they're already fermented' and putting expiration dates on them is either (when he's being more normal) a technicality/regulation or (when he's being weirder) a lie by Big Grocery™ to sell more food (for those who aren't familiar, live foods are fermented in specific ways with very specific bacteria, after they expire they go bad with things like mold just like any other food).

I've tried ignoring it and just not eating it, but it was making the other food in the fridge go bad faster and my dad started getting food poisoning symptoms, also my dad wouldn't buy new food if there was an expired one still in the fridge. Also, with things like the cheese, when he puts it back, I risk eating moldy food without realising it cuz there's no way to tell a mold chunk was cut out until I bite it and taste mold alos on multiple occasions, I've said I tasted mold in something and my dad has lied saying he didn't do this, only for me to see the moldy cheese trimmings in the garbage later when I'm throwing something away.

I've talked with my dad about this and it always goes something like this:

My dad: *drinks a pintglass of expired newman's own lemonaid*

*15 minutes later*

Dad: *coming back from the bathroom* I just had explosive diarrhea.

Me: You know how you drank a glass of expired lemona—

Dad: And it's delicious!

Me: Well, I'm just worried it's making you sick...

My dad: *5 minute rant about Big Grocery™*

Anyway, I started just throwing out the expired stuff, but he'd take it out of the garbage, even when there was something nasty on it, like used coffee grounds or 12 hour old egg shells dripping salmonella-y egg. So I started opening the containers of expired food and spilling them into the garbage bag (they're hefty bags, so it's not making a mess in the can) and sometimes I'd put a handfull of (clean/unused) cat litter into the bag too if it was something like bad produce (think limp carrots or slimey lettuce) so he couldn't just rince it and put it back.

Then I cleaned the fridge with bleach spray and now things aren't going moldy as fast and we have so much more room in there (I didn't get rid of anything but expired food, I wiped non-expired containers off with the bleach spray and put them back), also, my dad's stomach problems have stopped.

I still don't think I did anything wrong, since I know my mom would have done this the second she came home and my dad wouldn't have objected, but since I did it, he yelled at me for wasting money, called me a stooge to Big Grocery™ and compared me to his brother, who thinks leftovers go bad in the time it takes to drive home.

What are these acronyms?

[deke-rivers-1957]

Tickle Me Review

Faced with bankruptcy Allied Artists made a short term deal with Elvis in a last ditch effort to save the studio. The terms were that Elvis would be paid $750k plus 50% of the profits. Tickle Me only had a budget of $1.5 million meaning Elvis' salary alone took up half the cost leaving only $750k for everything else. Therefore to save money, the soundtrack only had 5 measly songs (in the original US release) that were previously recorded across the years 1960-1963.

Despite the studio's financial woes the movie was a box office success making $5 million worldwide. It not only saved the studio, but was also the studio's 3rd highest grossing film at the time. Elvis himself won the 1966 Golden Laurel award for Best Male Performance in a Musical. Writers Elwood Ullman and Edward Bernds' effort proved to be their last hurrah as Bernds would retire later that year after a successful career with the 3 Stooges and the Bowery Boys. But did this last ditch effort provide a fresh take on the Elvis vehicle or was this nothing more than a Hail Mary for those trying to hold onto any semblance of success and relevance? Let's find out.

We start off with Elvis in a travel bus singing "(It's A) Long, Lonely Highway". No idea if this was filmed on location or not. Song sounds pretty good. Lip-synching seems to be on point. I'll just mention this here but Tickle Me is a terrible title. I have no idea where they came up with that or why the working title "Isle of Paradise" was changed. There's no song with that name since no new songs were recorded. They should've stuck with the working title or better yet, change it to a song on the soundtrack called "Night Rider". That title fits in with Lonnie's occupation as a traveling rodeo star, the western setting, and the eventual shift into a horror film better.

He arrives at a western town called Zuni Wells. We get what's at first side conversation with a deputy sheriff saying that the sheriff went fishing far away (remember this later). We find out that his name's Lonnie Beale and is trying to find work before rodeo starts. Even though Lonnie got offered a job, the man ended up quitting. I love how we get some world building by having the bartender mention Prescott, Arizona which is one of the most famous rodeo cities in the US. So to make any money he has to sing in the saloon.

"It Feels So Right" is distracting with how obvious it is that Elvis sang this a long time ago. The song’s echo effect is so noticeable too but we do have a Red cameo and a call back to when Elvis was a "dirty hip shaker". Red's girlfriend who is drunk starts flirting with Lonnie and for once a fight starts that wasn't even his fault. He didn’t flirt with her back or throw the first punch. If anything he was trying to make a point that he had no interest in her.

Assuming he’s about to get fired he goes with a woman in charge of the Circle Z ranch. We get some background that Lonnie was raised by his uncle and always had a good time with horses. If only we saw him actually put that to good use instead of just exposition.

Lonnie's shocked to see that this is meant to be a Hollywood type of ranch meant to keep actresses and models thin. Watching how this is portrayed, you can make an argument that there's some social commentary in this movie. When you first meet Pam you wouldn't even notice a difference between her and the other women. It would be one thing if they showed these ladies as being slightly overweight, but that isn't the case at all since all of these ladies have an average body weight and general size indicating good health. It really shows how in their industry, expectations are so specific that these women who are already at a healthy state have to be even smaller and fitter to be beautiful.

Lonnie meets Pam while the women are stretching and I'm amazed they're even allowed in that part of the ranch. In modern day, men likely wouldn't even allowed to work at a place like that unless they're in a position that doesn't have close contact with the female guests. Lonnie then meets Stanley who tells us that the guests have to pay $500 a week just to stay there. The whole process of how these girls get down to "36-38-24" by giving them very little to eat really shows the culture of the 1960s where starving people was seen as the best way to lose weight. I won't get into the complexities of it, but you can see for yourself that the "diet culture" of today has completely shifted.

Lonnie does his job despite getting advances by some of the female clients. He starts making eyes with Pam and you get the idea that they're interested in each other. He goes over to talk to her but she makes it clear that she's only interested in taking care of the guests. only to then immediately get jealous when the guests show interest in him. I don't like this because you don't get to feel jealous when you turned him down. It only makes Pam look bad as a character since this makes her come off as being possessive of Lonnie when they're not at all a couple. Lonnie is single so he should be allowed to interact with other women.

If she's upset because she takes Lonnie singing to the guests as unprofessional, I can understand that. However, her facial expressions don't indicate that all. "(Such an) Easy Question" at least gives you that context that despite Pam turning him down, she can't stand to see him being with other women. As for the song itself, I don’t like the echo effect for the middle of the sandy outdoors. I know that they didn't have the budget to really change the pre-recorded songs, but given that this is supposed to be outside, an echo effect doesn't really work. Brad meanwhile turns into a butt monkey by having his food dumped on him once Stanley stands up. I genuinely feel bad for him because even though he is jealous of Lonnie, he so far hasn't done anything that would deserve this level of punishment.

Even the next day he can't catch a break as a woman he tries to help learn to swim, laps the pool when she sees Lonnie. He gets so upset he hits his hand against the concrete border of the pool. We get "Dirty, Dirty Feeling" as he works in the stables. Once again it doesn’t match the outdoor scenery. It’s actually very distracting to hear a 50s sound coming out of a 60s Elvis. If anything I'm very confused on how he's able to sing so that the entire ranch can hear him. It's not clear just how big or small this place is since it shouldn't seem possible that his voice can carry that far at that same level of clarity.

Lonnie gets in trouble with the other workers because the guests are so distracted by him. Lonnie isn’t doing anything wrong though as he doesn’t intend to interrupt everything. Meanwhile I'm very distracted by how this painting in the background was allowed to stay up since it's clearly a bunch of nude women. I have no idea how no one noticed that since it appears in multiple shots where you can clearly see the whole thing uncovered.

The women all seem to love him despite the fact that he doesn’t seem interested in any of them beyond a professional relationship. As he should since he doesn’t plan on sticking around and it’d be unprofessional of him otherwise. Pam meanwhile goes on this long spiel about how she's figured him out as being this playboy looking for a "millionaire divorcee" and quite frankly she's unlikeable. Lonnie in the audience's eyes hasn't done anything to suggest that and it's unfair of her to think that.

Even when she tries to catch him in a "gotcha" moment, it just feels weird of her to do this. She's not his boss nor his girlfriend, so it's not her job to police his actions. The audience clearly sees that Lonnie isn't the one making these advances and because this is the 60s men aren't allowed to say no yet. It makes you wonder what on earth Pam's doing with her life when she should be working. She makes an innuendo that Vera would "give him an A for effort" and you just feel a little gross because she's making it off like this is his fault. Sexy sax music playing when Vera makes her advances on Lonnie also feels gross given the concept of a workplace relationship between a boss and their employee has become a very problematic issue given the unequal power dynamics that come from it.

We get actual tension with a fight scene that in real life would’ve been genuinely dangerous. Lonnie had full reason to help her when she screamed even though we get a comedic moment of Pam hitting Lonnie by accident. The attacker immediately runs away as Lonnie's knocked silly. We find out it was because the guy was trying to find where her grandfather hid some money and the deputy sheriff advises her to lock all her doors and windows. It's not at all suspicious for the deputy sheriff to blame her for poking around abandoned buildings when she says she's entitled to any money that he left behind. I have no idea how this is such a mystery in their part of the world given that this is a ranch and a small town. The list of suspects shouldn't be astronomically high for anyone to not be able to figure this out. It's almost as if we're not supposed to know who did it until it's the perfect moment or something.

The next day, some men watch Stanley trying to look for footprints only to realize they're his own. Classic Shemp Howard moment. I have no idea who these two guys are but surely they'll have more to do in this movie right? Lonnie accidentally throws water on Brad and of course Brad gets upset. A fight breaks out as somehow all the women know to be there at that exact moment. Lonnie quickly wins and Pam appears out of nowhere to tell him off despite Lonnie literally doing nothing wrong. In an act of karmic justice to prove women are not immune from slapstick in this world, she gets her foot stuck in a bucket and instead of taking the L she keeps walking with it on.

When Lonnie sees her go off on her own, he follows her to an abandoned building. I understand that Pam wants to prove that "she's a big girl", but going to an abandoned building without even telling anyone is just stupid. Especially when you just got attacked not even a day ago by people who want to steal your grandfather's gold. Lonnie following her doesn't even prove that he loves her since he was there when she got attacked. His actions more indicate that he's a good coworker who doesn't want to have Pam make a stupid decision that'll get her killed. It's not as if the letter she's got is all that helpful since we see what's said.

We get exposition that her grandfather once owned the biggest mine in the area, a fantasy scene about the building once being a saloon from the 1800s and an audio change makes me think they used ADR for Pam and Lonnie's lines. This whole scene feels like a love letter to the Shemp era westerns with the jokes that they use, down to the editing techniques they used when Lonnie threw his hat. "Put the Blame on Me" had a similar echo effect, but to me it's fine given that it's a fantasy sequence even though this is also unnecessary filler. We fade back and Pam’s laugh in response to the donkey braying at their almost out of nowhere kiss sounded so fake in what feels like another instance of ADR. I have no idea how we're supposed to believe that now Pam likes her.

We get the luau and apparently Lonnie and Pam are together. I think on paper they wanted to convey that they did like each other and she was playing hard to get, but Lonnie meeting up with her at the abandoned saloon really isn't enough to make her suddenly love him. The Dabney's are upset when one of the female clients tries to steal their chicken because she’s starving. I thought it was funny how she tried to grab more food only to jab Mrs. Dabney. To try to appease them, the boss has Lonnie sing and entertain the guests. "I'm Yours" at least fits with the luau setting so I don't mind the vocal effects this time. In fact it's actually a very sweet song.

Meanwhile Pam almost gets kidnapped again and if I was Vera I'd be seriously considering upping security with how this could impact the other guests. If you have an all girl ranch meant to cater to models/actresses, you need to have security measures in place if it's going to be in the middle of the desert. Lonnie and Stanley try to save Pam and once again she tries to help only to hurt Lonnie. The deputy sheriff goes to find the men only to have an actually shocking twist that he’s in on it. Surprisingly we don't see the two lackeys meant to help him almost as if that's not meant to be revealed until later. Pam and Lonnie read the letter and based on what we see this time I don't get why they're struggling with it. It clearly says you have to pull the crowbar straight toward you to get the money out. Granted the diagram showing the wall isn't all that helpful.

It’s the next day and Lonnie sings "Night Rider" and I have no idea why. This feels like nothing but filler since it comes out of nowhere and is quickly forgotten like it never happened. This should've been the opening song since it clearly doesn't fit here. You could cut right to one of his coworkers wanting him to talk to Vera. At least we don’t have an echo effect on this song.

Vera again tries to hit on him while he tries to turn her down. This is so gross to watch and even Elvis looks at the camera like this is wrong. Lonnie kisses her despite being in a relationship and you got to wonder why he would do that. It isn't as if Vera force herself on him because Lonnie willingly kisses her again. Pam is rightfully upset as she sees Lonnie kiss their boss and for once I'm on her side. Lonnie was in a relationship with her and knowingly kissed Vera back. I know it's a cliche to make it be a misunderstanding but I genuinely would rather have that be the case than to watch Lonnie do this only to try apologizing like he made a mistake.

"I Feel That I've Known You Forever" is surprisingly haunting for a ballad. Him going to every window is so weird and you question why Pam is just as defenseless as before. If she was attacked twice, why would no one think to put some security around her house. This. is meant to be private property so Vera should be able to afford that expense. Pam of course breaks things off and Lonnie just quits the ranch offscreen.

Lonnie joins the rodeo and Pam rightfully doesn’t want to speak to him. If only Pam wasn't so unlikeable in the beginning where we can at least laugh at Lonnie's misfortune. We get a ghostly sound of Pam hearing Lonnie's voice which is pretty spooky. I get that she's meant to struggle with missing him or hating him, but based on the montage of Lonnie calling her for four months only for her to hang up, I don't think it was well executed at all. Stanley somehow knew where to find Lonnie despite not having any update. Lonnie is so down bad for Pam that even though he'd write to her, even his letters were rejected. At this point, I would assume the relationship is over. Four months is long enough to think that she's no longer interested. Stanley meanwhile convinces him that Pam is really playing hard to get and that he should tell her off.

As soon as they get there she drives away. They chase after her and they all think about each other’s relationship. They finally stop at a ghost town when it starts to rain. Lonnie spanks her and I hate it. It doesn't fit with the style of slapstick violence we've seen. The writers don't spare women in their works from getting exposed to slapstick so to me I would've had this be a slap fight until Pam realizes that Lonnie does care about her as someone who's more than just a coworker. That way we get a genuine moment of chemistry between the two.

They end up in an abandoned hotel while it’s raining and keep getting spooked by the storm. It's surprisingly light outside for what's supposed to be a monsoon level storm. We get 3 stooges antics where Stanley keeps getting punched by someone through a hidden door. Even Pam gets scared to the point of screaming bloody murder. This is where the movie turns into a horror film as you feel a level of suspense and upcoming danger. Of course it's still humorous by making Lonnie the straight man and by having Pam make the dumb decision to turn the light off when she's clearly afraid of someone breaking into her room. Since no one is getting hurt, it still keeps the tone light for Lonnie to not believe anything's wrong.

We see guys in masks very akin to some 3 stooges shorts which might also act as a Scooby Doo predecessor. The guy in the wolf mask I'm amazed would even want to be outside in this bad weather. Stanley's very much a tribute to Shemp Howard. Seeing him get spooked by both the guys in masks and Lonnie is something I've seen Shemp do. Lonnie being the straight man by not seeing what Stanley saw adds to it because if you just replace them with Moe and Shemp you'd get the same results and it would still be funny. That's a sign that Elvis clearly understood how to convey that style of comedy. It's actually creative at how some of them even got inside since it's not like anyone knew Pam would be going to that hotel. When one of them gets into her room, Pam, for someone who can take cares of herself, doesn't fight back and instead faints allowing him to steal the letter.

Lonnie of course saves the day in an Elvis vehicle style fight scene. We get the reveal that some of the male staff at the ranch were in cahoots with the deputy sheriff. I don't think this twist was executed well because looking back at previous attempts to capture her, you can't help but raise an eyebrow at how she didn't seem to recognize her coworkers earlier. Sure they had their faces covered but we see how staff wise, it's not that big of a ranch for her to have never met them. Lonnie grabbing the knife only to have the handle come off is hilarious. When the man charges him he opens the door only to reveal nothing on the other side. I genuinely wonder what the purpose of that door was since this is meant to be a restored hotel or if it was just magicked into existence by the writers only to then disappear when it wasn't needed. Stanley falls into the storm shelter in a way that in real life I'm amazed didn't kill him since landing on old wooden furniture wouldn't have softened the fall. When they go to get him, they find a suitcase with Pam's grandpa’s initials on it. Stanley pulls the crowbar out trying to open the suitcase and despite the letter clearly saying that's what you need to do, everyone's shocked to see gold coming out of the wall. Why would they even think it's in a suitcase if grandpa specifically made a diagram of the wall?

The deputy sheriff arrives and they find out he was the mastermind. Lonnie beats him in a fight after the running gag of Pam trying to hit his opponent finally works in his favor. I'm genuinely amazed that he was able to do that since Lonnie's an otherwise normal guy and policemen even in a small town would've had some type of training in physical combat. Brad shows up because Vera somehow knew Pam would be at this hotel and surprisingly had absolutely nothing to do with the deputy sheriff's scheme. It turns out that the two men Stanley was talking to earlier were the same guys trying to kidnap Pam. I'm amazed that we got a rare twist hero in the sense that on first watch you thought for sure that he would try to at least kill Lonnie. The only thing I don't get is what he talking to the cook about when almost Pam got kidnapped since Adolph was part of it too. At least include a line for Brad to explain what they talked about since that's a loose end that was never addressed.

Lonnie and Pam end up getting back together and eventually get married at the ranch. This romance felt so underwhelming and you can tell the writers aren't used to playing it straight. I'm not sure if it's the script or Elvis not having the chemistry with Jocelyn but I just don't see these two getting married. Even though Vera was so into Lonnie, she's apparently not at all upset to see them get married and you just wonder what the point of her making passes at Lonnie was. Nothing changed on her end to suggest she's over him or that she even felt sorry for partially ruining his relationship with Pam for many months. We end with "Slowly But Surely" while Stanley’s getting dragged behind in a wash tub. The lyrics actually fit Lonnie's perspective of trying to win Pam back. Why he's singing this when they're already married is an odd choice, but hey it's been almost a half hour since Elvis' last song so we need to end on one. The rear screen projection is so blatant by having Stanley appear in the rear angle shots but then have him be nowhere to be seen when Lonnie sings. A strange joke to end on as they drive off into the proverbial sunset.

I'm very on the fence with this movie. On the comedy side, this movie is a complete success. Ullman and Bernds were masters of their craft regarding slapstick comedy and Elvis fit into that style well by having him play the straight man. Where they fall flat is the romance as I feel like they were told an Elvis movie has to have a romance so they only added one as an afterthought since an Elvis vehicle romance was never really their style. I wish that the other workers who helped the deputy sheriff had the same level of development Brad had it makes their reveal a little more shocking that Brad was friends with them yet still wasn't part of it.

My rating will likely change next time you ask me but for now it's a 7/10. At this time I don't think the comedy and Brad being the twist hero was enough to overcome a boring romance and awful song placement. If you had simply cut out a lot of songs and use that time to develop the side characters, I think this would've been a great movie. For a movie that really only had $750k to work with, I think they did a great job in capturing that western vibe yet also showcase other parts of the country with the rodeo scene in Phoenix. If you're a 3 Stooges fan that really loves the Shemp Howard era, I highly recommend giving it a watch. Even if you're not, I still think this movie is worth watching as it shows what Elvis could've been if the focus was more on physical slapstick comedy. After all, even Moe got hurt sometimes.

Tagging: @vintagepresley, @kawaiiwitchy, @mercsandmonsters, @jhoneybees, @thetaoofzoe,

@nicferg068, @lycan61-blog, @wildhorseinkansas, @hooked-on-elvis, @thelonelyheart,

@almightybigbrain, @i-r-i-n-a-a, @cherrycolaride, @stickysteve1388, @xs4lvtore,

@urbeatlemaniac, @eapep, @peaceloveelvis, @arrolyn1114, @smokeymountainboy,

@jupiterssparkles, @ssinnerplazahotel, @lilmisspeaches, @getyourpresleyfix, @an-americcan-trilogy,

@atleastpleasetelephone, @halieghhh, @tacozebra051, @xanatenshi and @bonjovipresley.

[personwithatophat]

Founder Theory

do you like generation loss? do you see a neat person with vague background implications? well! good news! That Person Right There Could Be The Founder!

in honor of this id like to introduce a game TOP FIVE GEN LOSS CHARACTERS WHO ARE SECRETLY THE FOUNDER

#5 SecuriTV

This Is A Collection Of Sentience "Maybe Flesh" And Technology!! also known as literally everything that we relate to the founder! the SecuriTV could be the first attempts at making the founder a digital person and this is what remains!

#4 Charlie

The Slime demon! The Patient! The Villain! but could any of these titles have more significant meanings?? charlie is the only other character outside of our hero who has been theorized in the past to be related more internally! charlies character as the slime demon takes yeild from the 1800s, possibly during The Lostfield incident??? and has also been rumored to be a test tube baby! what a wacky, goopy, sludgy guy that could just be the root of narrative evil, always right behind the hero and out of suspicion!

#3 Squiggles

The loveable showfall mascot! Squiggles being the founder in of itself is generally ridiculous, however. its VERY noteworthy that our favorite faceless figurehead of darkness has taken a personal intrest in this project! and could for all potential be using squiggles as a type of surrogate for communications or else wise has a piece of themself as squiggles if youre a supporter of the AI theories. that being said heres some things that squiggles has said live on show "I love rats" "Nightmares of Bart The Vorer intensify" "nyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrwwww *crash"

#2 Zero

What a Mysterious Lady we have! Recently Zero has been getting more attention with the bonus addition of the name "Miss Roads" and many like to speculate the connection of Gen 0, Cron 0, and the founder! Could chronicle zero our local A/V shop retail stooge secretly be using those dusty 20% off tape recorders to start her media manipulation empire?? do we have THE founders diary posted live on twitter?? Or is Miss Roads a truman character with a placed therapist? the answer might surprise us!

#1 Ranboo

Our Very Own Hero! Ranboo being the founder is truely a crowd favorite of these times! spanning through the casual viewers, to the general theorists. The concept of it being a case of memory manipulation and full beginnings although the Ranboo as Founder theory took a significant drop in popularity after matpat made a theory not even picking up on the main plot of the show, there are things that make it still have significance !! This spans from a love of the memory lost protagonist being the main villain and a comforting circle of life deal they have going on where the founder ends up killed by the horrors of his own creation in a cruel circle of fate! This will likely never cease ANYWAY here's a fun challenge! who do YOU think is the founder? o r who do you think is even a little bit suspicious? they can be the founder too!

/lh -Tophat

[is-on-its-way]

In the name of the Father, the Skeptic and the Son

Episodes: One Son/ Two Fathers

Dana Katherine Scully doesn't take overt disrespect and then just continue on with her work. Also Mulder needed a reason why he was being so short with the woman he loves... The titles are Alanis Morissette Lyrics from Jagged Little Pill. I feel like its relevant to this sitch.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Epilogue

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Chapter 1: We had to believe in something, so we did

The lone gunman give Mulder a piece of their minds for being so rude to Scully.

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(LONE GUNMAN office. There is a buzz at the door. FROHIKE goes to the door and unlocks all eight locks and opens the door for MULDER.) MULDER: The latest in home security. FROHIKE: Hey, you get through this, you got to come through me. MULDER: I got a call from Scully. Said it was urgent. (MULDER enters the office. All three GUNMEN are present and also SCULLY in a fetching black turtleneck ensemble.) SCULLY: I'll ask you to hear me out before you launch any objection. Mulder, I asked them to pull up everything they could on Diana Fowley. MULDER: (sigh) I don't have time for this. SCULLY: Mulder, she's playing you for a fool. MULDER: I know her, Scully. You don't. SCULLY: You knew her. You don't anymore. I think we can prove that to you. BYERS: She took a position in the FBI's foreign counter-terrorism unit in 1991. Seven years in Europe. SCULLY: Yet there isn't a single piece of information available on her activities in the FBI files. MULDER: (gives a sarcastic melodramatic gasp) I hope you've got something more than that to indict her with. SCULLY: Travel records pulled from airline manifests that had been purged from her FBI records. Extensive movement throughout Western Europe. Almost weekly trips to and from Tunisia. MULDER: For the purpose of what? LANGLY: That's what we couldn't figure until we took a flyer and we found this. FROHIKE: Mutual UFO network logs. MULDER: MUFON. SCULLY: Special Agent Diana Fowley of the FBI was visiting every European chapter collecting data on female abductees. MULDER: So she's collecting data. Big deal. SCULLY: Or hiding it. MULDER: Scully, you're reaching. SCULLY: Mulder, when I was abducted a chip was put in my neck. When I happened upon a MUFON group filled with women who'd had the same experience. MULDER: So you're suggesting that Diana is monitoring these abductees? Monitoring these tests? SCULLY: You tell me that Cassandra Spender is the critical test subject - the one who could prove everything. And yet, who is watching over her? Mulder, I can prove what you're saying or I can disprove it but not when Diana Fowley is keeping us from even seeing her. Mulder, ask yourself why there is no information whatsoever on Special Agent Diana Fowley. Why she would suddenly happen into your life when you are closer than ever to the truth. I mean, you... you ask me to trust no one and yet you trust her on simple faith. MULDER: Because you've given me no reason here to do otherwise. (Long Pause.) SCULLY: Well, then I can't help you anymore. MULDER: Scully, you're making this personal. SCULLY: Because it is personal, Mulder. Because without the FBI personal interest is all that I have. And if you take that away then there is no reason for me to continue. (MULDER watches her as she walks past him and out of the office.)

Byers was looking at Mulder mouth open slightly.

Langly said “Geez” under his breath

“Of all the idiotic things I’ve ever said to a women, that certainly tops any of it.” Frohike said grimly.

“All right, thats enough out of the three stooges.” Mulder said impatiently.

“You were so mean to her, and all she wants to do is to protect you.” Byers said in disbelief.

Mulder made towards the door.

“Scully is a hundred times the woman Diana is.” Langly added

“Whats the hold she has over you that you’re risking everything you have with Agent Scully?” Frohike said

 “Yeah. What gives?” Byers said

Mulder stopped and turned to them. 

“I have a history with Diana. She’s my friend. I can’t just throw that away because Scully doesn’t like her. It wouldn’t be fair.” 

Life isn’t fair. But the woman you love just walked because she thinks you’re the one being unfair.” Frohike said

Mulder scoffed “Love?”

“Oh lets not hide behind pretense here. Its so obvious, its a wonder you two haven’t figured it out yet.” Byers said.

Mulder rubbed his forehead at this fighting with himself about what he was about to say. 

“Did you tell her? Did you tell her we...” He stopped himself looking up at them. He couldn't say it out loud. 

They all looked surprised, Frohike looked indignant. 

“Of course not.” He answered.

Relief flooded him in a way that made him uncomfortably aware he was relieved.

“We wouldn’t do that to her.” Byers said.

“Besides we agree with Scully on this one.” Langley said

“I guess you have to ask yourself if you value your idea of what the truth is, over Agent Scully’s feelings” Byers said.

“It would be nice if she trusted me.” Mulder said  

“She does trust you. She doesn’t trust Diana.” Byers said

Mulder pondered this and didn’t respond.

“We sure don’t.” Frohike said

She’s dirty Mulder. Nobody comes up that clean in one of our searches unless something sinister is at work” Langly said.

“I just don’t get this need to be right, when you’re so obviously wrong.” Byers said

He started toward the door. “Of course you’d side with the pretty lady.” Mulder said exasperated

Thats not why. But the beatiful agent Scully is a good friend to us. And…” Frohike said

“She gives me advice on you know, girls” Byers said

“She calls me on my birthday” Langly said

“Mine too” Byers said

“Mine three” Frohike said

“You’ve never called us on our birthdays.” Langley said.

“I just figured you three sprouted fully formed from alien larva.” He didn’t look in their direction, pulled open the door and left after Scully.

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He sat in his car and head leaned against the steering wheel. Scully’s words ran through his head. 

It is personal. Without the FBI personal interest is all that I have.  I can't help you anymore. There is no reason for me to continue.

Panic was setting in now. He’d stood up for his principles and for Diana. Thoroughly exasperated with Scully, for not trusting him, not trusting his judgement on a personal matter. They’d become so much closer than they ever had been and she was acting like he was going to run away with Diana or something. At the same time, she’d just admitted to things he was exhilarated and shocked to hear. He’d known they were close, known he loved her, known he liked being her partner. But she’d never talked about the personal side of their partnership. Never made it known she felt like without it, she’d feel the same way he did. That she couldn't continue the work without him. 

He punched the steering wheel and the car honked. A elderly woman, crossing the street in front of his car, with a bunch of grocery bags in her hands jumped and stumbled back. 

He put his hands up to the windshield and yelled “I’m sorry! Sorry ma’am! It was an accident.” 

She gave him a dirty look and recovered her dignity before stalking off. 

He massaged his aching hand and cursed his frustration under his breath. He didn’t want to lose her. Was his loyalty to Diana worth losing Scully? The answer was of course no. He’d never had a partnership or friendship with anyone like he had with her. Nothing he’d had with Diana came close, and they had been… close. He loved Scully. More than he'd ever loved anyone. He was in love with her. Hopelessly. Maybe that was why this theory of hers stung so badly. It was fine for her to shoot him down at work, but this was about a friend. And she didn't trust his judgement. But she could be so stubborn sometimes. Even when there had been a mole in the FBI. Even on her deathbed as she was offering to sacrifice herself for his reputation. She’d been so quick to suspect the only person it seemed they could trust within the FBI. But Skinner hadn’t been the mole. Mulder had been right to go with his gut and not the evidence.

He looked up absentmindedly staring out of the windshield. Evidence. He could get evidence. And he knew three people who could get him Diana’s exact address. He got back out of his car and walked back to where he’d come from.

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Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Epilogue

@today-in-fic 🙏

[fictionalreads]

9-1-1 Lone Star Season 5 Episode 3

Judd

A detour? Are you heading to the derailment or away?

JUDD TO THE RESCUE

4 stooges

Okay good. Marjan is good.

He should’ve picked Mateo to be in charge.

He’ll probably pick Paul now cause Marjan didn’t follow orders. Y’know. If Judd doesn’t come back.

AWE MARJAN AND PAUL BACK TO BESTIES!

YAY PAUL FOUND THE HAT NOW FIND BROTHER

Side note: how is Marjan supposed to grab any paint?

Don’t hate on Mateo. He’s hilarious.

Knew it would be Paul.

Wait what did he say to Marjan? Is that gonna be important? I’m nosey. I wanna know.

Tommy

Is Carlos free?

Um….why is Trevor there?

LMAO Tommy they said they ain’t leaving you so don’t bother.

GO YALL GO

GET YALL ASSES INSIDE

There isn’t a room that doesn’t have an outside door connected to it? That can’t be safe.

They’re not dying. Not in the premiere.

Stop shittin on TK’s excitement. I mean technically the fan did help. It kept it away from y’all and blew it back out the room until the wind shifted.

I thought you said you didn’t mind being interviewed Tommy, it was the fact that your girls would be interviewed that was the problem.

Emergencies

Why are birds falling? Oh the thing.

CHLORINE?! There was a chlorine cloud issue in GA! Recently! I know people who live there and they had to shelter in place for a couple days.

Damn reporters.

Oh so she was the one who traumatized the little boy. Still fucking shit up.

Please don’t die Brother. I guess I can use his real name now that I know it. Damon.

I don’t like her but I don’t wanna watch this woman die.

Ah shit. Don’t kill Brother.

Miscellaneous

I better find out what happened to that kid.

Brother better not be dead.

Hell Marjan better be okay.

[the-fourchette]

Is Mel really a manipulator ? – part 4 

Episode 5 : "He's been quite the investment"

Short analysis

Corrupted topsiders that make illegal business are not happy

Councilor Talis tightened the security within the Hexgates to halt corruption

Those topsiders are mad and are about to threaten Jayce

Mel knows that Jayce is in danger so she indulges in corruption to save him

She asked him to do it so, if he wants to "shape his own destiny" (i.e. fulfilling his hextech dream)

Jayce not happy.

Jayce refuses.

Then Jayce gives in.

He understands that he has no choice if he wants to exploit hextech the way he wants

He concludes back room deals

"Wise investment" gate

Turns out Mel never forgot about Jayce's dream with Hextech

Jayce is happy and grateful, he's finally on the path to exploit hextech as he always wanted

Mel is happy cause she rightfully believed and invested in Jayce

She guided him and he'll finally reach his dream thanks to her help

Mel is proud because she "gave something back", contrary to her family standard (expansionist warmongers)

Cute and corny speech on magic and progress

Mel is charmed

Mel and Jayce in love

Viktor fighting for his life

Conclusion : This the girl you call selfish and manipulative to Jayce ?🤣🤣

I think that we are so used to the "cold" and calculated Mel that people can't fathom that she's really in love with Jayce. She genuinely appreciated him since the beginning, they share the same goals and mindset, they are attracted to each other since day one. I thought it was pretty obvious (especially from Jayce's whole behavior around her). Anyway, what she does in this episode is both motivated by self interest (that she shares with Jayce : progress for their city) but also a genuine will to help and protect him. Even if it means playing with corruption.

Until here, she stayed quite professional and friendly, despite their romantic tension but now that they kind of sealed the deal with their business and that she gave Jayce what he wanted, she feels worthy of love. Because from what I remember, I'm pretty sure that Mel thinks that love is conditional, I mean her mother is Ambessa after all.... So now that she offered Jayce the possibility to work with hextech as he initially requested, now that he is happy and he always reciprocated her feelings, she finally feels worthy of love. She's confident enough to start a romantic relationship.

But once again, we don't know Mel's full backstory by this episode, so her motives are still untrustworthy for the audience. Thus, the viewers have the idea that Jayce is being corrupted by Mel and Viktor, isolated and terribly weakened is corrupting Hextech. 😢

---------------

Full analysis

Scene 1  

1.

Basically, in this episode Mel teaches Jayce about corruption and backroom deals

In short, Mel informs Jayce that he's in danger. The greedy topsider are not happy that Jayce wants to root out corruption within the Hexgates. They usually profit off from their illegal trade thanks to the Hexgates, in return they fund the academy. 

Mel knows this reality and helps him navigate in the dark world that is the high society. So yes, she indulges in corruption with them in order to protect Jayce and hextech from their harm. Bro is literally threatened (to death ?) ! 

2.

She doesn’t seem to enjoy it that much, she's even disdainful and they are gossiping “look at those two stooges”.

But she just accepts this dirty reality because this is a means to an end.

-> Morally, it is bad but she did it to protect Jayce (once again), I think she’s the best one to know how far they can go for their wealth. She’s pragmatic, a contrast to Jayce’s idealism and naivety. 

Scene 2 

3.

Obviously, Jayce refuses and he’s very frustrated, that’s not what he signed up for. (He was so tensed and pissed but Mel couldn't care less, I'm crying😂 "Dude, deal with it, if you want to play with Hextech")

4.

But he gives in when he listens to Amara and Mel’s discussion. He understands that this is the price to pay to protect himself and his dreams, whether he likes it or not.

5.

PARTNERS IN CRIME 😈😂

6.

“He’s been quite the investment”

This is the sentence that makes Mel, thee official manipulator and hypocrite of Arcane apparently.  

And let me just say... I was so surprised when I heard that it was Elora who pronounced these words, that, yes, Mel approves of. The thing is, she literally is her investor and he agreed to it, he was the one who begged her to let him continue his research. And it turns out Jayce is a good investment, his invention brings what they all wish for. How is that shocking ?   

I can understand that these words feel cold though. 

The writers purposefully created this scene so the audience think that she has a double face, that she plays a double game.

Because, honestly, it's kind of acceptable and nice that Mel indulges in corruption (morally bad) to save her friend from danger (good). So the writers had to let our doubt linger regarding her intentions, hence this line, I guess.

And to be fair, investing in people is quite normal. Even a parent invest their time and money in their kid, so what about an establised business partnership ? It's logical. The word "investment" isn't bad at all.

It's so funny all the fuss and drama regarding this line, I was like "What ? that's it ?" 😅

What make Jayce's outrage even more stupid in S2 is that he accused Mel for something Elora said and besides how did he even hear that ? he wasn't with them IJBOL.

Scene 3 

7.

“It’s only a matter of time before those old fools on the council officially accept your research” ( lol, his lovey dovey eyes)

What the heck ? Hold on!

Mel never never forgot about Jayce’s initial dream ! 

As I said earlier, she really has a low esteem for those self-centered councilors 

Why did I never see anyone point this out ?! Basically, she leads a path and formed a plan the entire time for Jayce so to achieve his purpose. Said path is murky because it’s high society and politics, she protects and guides him through it so he can reach his ultimate dream !  

This is...dedication !! Of course, she has her interests in here, she never said she was doing charity, it’s a trade, a partnership, but she's really committed to help him !  

Come on, people have no grace when it comes to Mel. I easily stumble upon people doing full psychology papers to defend or at least sympathize with Silco for example (and yes he's purposefully morally very dark grey, that's what make him interesting but why people don't extend this grace and give the "morally complex character" privilege to Mel ?)

To me, this sentence is a hint of Mel's true intentions towards Jayce. The audience is supposed to feel wary about her, we thought that she only worked for her own interests first and foremost. But now, we are more doubtful, maybe she's not that selfish.

8.

“The Medardas usually only take from the world. We’re not often in position of giving anything back”. So she wants to go against the Medardas standard by : 

Mentoring and sincerely helping Jayce reach his goal (selfless act) 

Changing and improving the world through science and magic (instead of war) 

She actively wants to break the cycle of the Medardas bloody methods (but we are not supposed to know her background yet) 

9.

Conclusion : Mel is very vocal about her intentions with Jayce, she’s her mentor, he actively seeks her advice and he even says “I had a good teacher”. Jayce knows he needs help to fulfill his goal, he’s a scientist not a politician. And Mel, who sponsors his project never forgot about his real wishes even when after Jayce did his part of the deal with the Hexgates,  she works so her part of the bargain is done too.  

-> So, Mel teaches Jayce the art of manipulation and corruption so he can protect himself and his dreams. It seems likes she’s molding and shaping him, which feels uncomfortable indeed. But, she’s just giving him the tools to survive this world and finally achieve his purpose. (I think if he wanted to backtrack, he would have done it, Jayce is not scared of Mel, he went against her opinion multiple times, he's not stupid)

-> The show purposefully doesn’t let her reveal her deeper interests, in order to convince the audience that she’s shady. 

And yes, she’s shady but it turns out that those deeper intentions, unlike the typical manipulator may be “purer” than what we can think.  

Finally, from what I've gathered, by the end of this episode, Mel and Jayce succeeded regarding their business, they are satisfied, and are now on the path to use hextech the way Jayce always wanted to. So all the weird seduction theories to benefit from and “manipulate” Jayce don't make sense to me. Also, they’ve known each other for at least 7 years and they had a crush since day one, it was bound to happen. 

Her interests are neither monetary nor from a thirst of power, she already have it, and Jayce, as a councilor, is her equal, so what can she gain more by “seducing” now ?   

The superimposition of Mel and Jayce's scene and Viktor's hexcore scene is just a way to show the contrast between the two inventors. Jayce has the privilege to enjoy life outside hextech and he's even deviating from their core project. Viktor, however, is battling all alone with his life and is rightfully looking for a cure to save himself. Mel is deliberately portrayed as the woman who's responsible for Jayce's distraction from the project. (Even if, in reality, she's helping him reach his goal).

In short, Jayce indulges in corruption with business/politics. Viktor is corrupting Hextech, and him, too, is somehow forcefully deviating from their main project because of his illness.

10.

Jayce says a line that I think Mel has always craved to hear  : “I couldn’t have done it without you”. It means a lot to her, he’s basically approving her methods to rule with success through her fox smart (instead of the wolf). This is literally why her mom banished her for. It started out as a mutual little crush, but this line, Jayce’s idealism, their shared values and dreams for innovation are what I interpret as to why she really fell for him.

And maybe she finally feels worthy of being loved because she "gave something back" and Jayce keeps praising and thanking her for it. So to someone who thinks that love is conditional, she finally felt ready and confident to take their relationship to the next level, after 7 years of a mutual crush and friendship.

It's refreshing to see her so vulnerable when she talks about herself. She seems really moved by Jayce's optimism and the way he talks about his family who built Piltover, which is the exact opposite of her family, who destroys everything. Poor girl, she felt so proud to go against her family's standard by helping Jayce.

I'm dying, Jayce was trying to charm her with his corny speech and it instantly worked 🤣

Only 4 episodes remaining, can't wait to see Mel's next "manipulations" 😈! So far, they were mild and even necessary. (Wasn't really manipulations even)

Bonus : They went from partners in crime to partners in "life" the same night, lol

[oldgayjew]

Trump wasn't indicted for saying there was election fraud, he was indicted because his records pertaining to pay off a porn star were found to be fraudalent and falsefied. Trump was indicted for election interference. Keep in mind that over 60 Judges and 2 Supreme Court Rulings said there wasn't any credible evidence of voter fraud. Trump was indicted for Obstruction of Justice, Conspiracy to obstruct, and violations of the Espionage Act all pertaining to classified documents. Trump was indicted for Election Subversion and the January 6 Case. Trump was indicted for Conspiracy to Overturn the Georgia Election Results. You're in a cult. Get help.

(1) There is massive amounts of 2020 Election Fraud ...

(2) No Soros A.G. or Judge viewed the Evidence, it was rejected out of hand ...

(3) The porn star you speak of sent Trump stating that she NEVER requested nor was offered "hush" money ...

(4) Trumps trial was a sham with him not being allowed to produce evidence ...

(5) The classified documents were Presidential privilege ...

(6) Questioning an election's results has been legal since before the Nazicrat debacle of Florida 2000 ...

Everything you've cited is the Nazicrat weaponization of the Dept. of Justice and their attempts to propagandize anything about Trump in order to stop him from being elected ...

You are a Nazicrat stooge and a coward ...

From this point on "anonymous" gets blocked ... grow a spine and take off your mask ...