#3 echo 57

[ageless-aislynn]

From @mrtobenamedlater for the Halo ask game

💕🌌📷

💞 - favourite moment in a game?

From a story-telling, cinematic p.o.v., definitely this one in Halo 4:

Just the bittersweetness of her finally being able to touch him, his confusion, the first time I'd ever heard him stumble over his words, the realization that she wasn't coming back with him, had sacrificed herself to save him... All of it, man. Just right in the heart, oof!

From a gameplay p.o.v., saving 3 Echo 57 on the mission ONI: Sword Base from Halo: Reach. The troop transport Warthog is supposed to explode before you can get to it but there's a way to zoooooooom over there (Acrophobia skull works best) and stun it with a charged-up plasma pistol so it doesn't cross the invisible line where it'll blow up.

Me: This is for your own good, marines. Trust me, you don't want to keep driving that way! *ZZZZZZZAP*

You make the driver get out so you can quickly but carefully drive it out of there, avoiding a few other invisible lines that will ALSO make it blow up. Then you can bring it back, fill it with marines, and take it through almost all of the rest of the mission! I always save my 3 Echo 57 marines if I'm not doing a speedrun or something else that keeps me from doing so! 🤗

(Yeah, it always looks like it's on fire but it's just cosmetic. It has the same health as any other Warthog as far as I can tell. 😎👍 Also, please pardon the ABSOLUTE POTATO QUALITY. I chopped it out of an existing GIF and that did it no favors, eek!)

🌌 - what made you interested in halo?

I've always had an interest in video games but no way to play them, so when Youtube walkthroughs/Let's plays/etc became a thing, I watched a LOT of them. One of them was Halo 4 (where I imprinted on that version of Cortana, lol). Fast-forward many years later to the first commercial I saw for the tv series, thought it sounded interesting, and watched it when it came out. As soon as I did, I seriously WANTED to play at least one of the games. Found the MCC on a rad sale at Steam and decided to see if my old man (previous computer) could play it. He could and the rest, as they say, is history!

📷 - 'aesthetic' photo you associate a halo character with

Hee, thanks so much! 😎👍💖

[solardrop]

silver.

aaron hotchner x reader.

summary: hotch really doesn't think getting old is sexy. tags: fluff. a suggestive line here or there but nothing crazy. age gap (reader in their 30s, hotch is 57). jack mentioned. i think this could be read as gn!reader but i could be wrong. just short and cute. word count: 1.0k a/n: last fics rules still apply. be nice to me! when i look up photos of hair dying on pinterest i get rainbow haired e-boys so accept this haircut photo <3 divider creds to @/cafekitsune

Your name echoes across the house when Aaron yells for you from the bathroom. Once you enter the space you're greeted by his hair spiked in every which way, covered in a brownish-black goop. His thick hands are gloved and hold a small black toothbrush-like applicator.

"Sweetheart, can you check if I missed a spot?" Aaron hands you the brush and tray of inky black dye. You make a show of rolling your eyes and pouting back at him in the mirror and you take the items from him.

"I forgot it was that time of month that you decided to cover up all your sexy.." you sigh.

"Really," he scoffs, a teasing smile creeping on his lips, "I thought all the sexy was gone when I shaved.'

You almost teared up remembering the loss of his beard. A case off the grid forced him to grow one out for a few weeks. You understandably jumped his bones upon seeing the new look when he returned. The extra hair provided some out-of-this-world sensations for your softest parts that you would never forget. Only for the wicked man to shave all of it after two days, citing the "professional dress code" of the FBI as the culprit.

You snap a latex glove onto your hand, "Shush and bend over, big guy."

He smiles and kneels to face you, his rough hands gripping the fat of your thighs. You slowly worked around his head, dabbing bits of dye in bare spots. Your fingers rake through the inky black mass on his head, gently massaging his scalp. Aaron hums and thanks you under his breath.

"Do you know why I started dying my hair so consistently?"

"To torture me?"

"No," he huffs," when Jack was about... eight? I had taken him on this trip with a couple of his friends and their fathers, it was fun, but at the end of the whole thing Jack pointed at the grays starting to grow out on my hairline and turned to his friends and said-"

"Baby no...."

"'Guys look! My daddy is sooo old!'"

You clamp your lips shut to hold in your laughter. You didn't want to embarrass him further, especially with the deep red flush rising up the nape of his neck.

"Oh honey Jack was still a baby then... kids are insane you know that"

" I do, and I know. I laughed it off. I know he didn't really mean anything by it, but I didn't know if he felt like the odd one out for having an old dad.." Aaron runs his hands up and down your legs mindlessly. "And now I don't want you to feel out of place either."

You pause at that. In the few years you and Hotch have been together, never has he shown any insecurity about the difference in age between you. And he sure as hell wasn't about to start now if you had anything to do with it. You slicked his hair back with your hands and placed the clear complimentary shower cap in the box on his head, snickering at how silly he looked. Once you slide the slimy gloves off you set the timer on your phone and grasp the face of the man you loved so dearly, forcing him to rest his chin on your stomach and look into your eyes.

"You have less than thirty minutes to explain to me why you think I'd care about you looking old"

"you're young-"

"I'm in my thirties-"

"you're younger," he corrects "than me by quite a bit. All your friends have other young people to share their life and first experiences with. Meanwhile, you're stuck with a sixty-year-old-"

"You're fifty-seven-" Your eyes roll.

"a fifty-seven-year-old with a sassy kid turned angsty teenager for a child." he sighs, "Sweetheart I just don't want you to ever look at me and feel a loss."

You take a moment to scan his face. Despite the stupid shower cap mushrooming around his head, his face showed no amusement when he spoke. The sweet, shy smile he always sported around you was gone, replaced with a grimace and furrowed brow.

"Aaron I have never felt more loved, accepted, and safe than I have with you. I know you know that," you say.

He nods, pressing a quick peck to your belly button before looking at you. His eyes search yours for a moment of hesitation or change in resolve. but you stand your ground.

"The only thing I worry about with you on my arm is fighting off all the homewreckers."

He wheezes a laugh at this. Eventually having to stand up before he smears the dark dye all over you. He always does this. Laughs and acts like he wouldn't have crowds of people stop to fawn over his beauty if he let them.

"Remember that neighbor at the old apartment who would only stop by with cookies when she knew you were home?"

"Or the time Jack's classmate profiled their teacher's crush on you?"

"Don't even get me started on that detective JJ keeps telling me about from years ago in New Mexico. The male detective."

He smiles at you sheepishly, "You've made your point."

"If you want to dye your hair or shave to make yourself happy I think you should," you whisper, "but Aar I love every version of you possible"

You press your lips to his cheek before you continue, "You are the most beautiful, devastatingly sexy old man out. And I will still throw myself at you in public if you decide to finally ditch the box dye."

He smiles at you fully now, eyes shining as he looks down at you. He slides his lips against yours, grinning into the kiss before he pulls away to thank you.

"Maybe after this starts to grow out I'll see how I feel about the silver again." He looks back at his reflection in the mirror. He turns his head every which way to peek at the processing strands under the shower cap.

"Think about the beard too damn it.." you mumble. You begin to wander out of the bathroom when he yells for you again.

"Oh and sweetheart one more thing," you turn to look at him, confused when he stifles a laugh, "will you still think I'm sexy if I start balding like my father?"

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

OK. All the blogs in this special round 0 are under the cut. Every odd number is against the even below it. We'll see how tumblr feels about the bracket image this time, but I'm not posting it until this round 0 is over.

Due to not wanting to spam your feeds and also the tumblr post limit (there are 253 polls this round!), I will be spreading these out via the queue, posting 50 a day.

1: hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

2: flareon-fanart-collection

3: the-compressor

4: rat-detector-but-evil

5: cantheywinthehungergames

6: official-fluffy-posts

7: would-you-punt-them

8: dailyhomestarfacts

9: ominous-signs

10: rat-detector-24

11: throckmorton-the-skater

12: dailytricksterfox

13: identifying-dogs

14: disappointed-by-lack-of-soup

15: identifying-cat-phenotypes

16: the-real-yahoo-mail

17: alphabetcompletionist

18: guillotinema

19: bocchidaily2024

20: the-official-netherlands

21: makingyourfavesinwebfishing

22: rat-detector-detector-detector

23: yesornopolls

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25: elvis-official

26: ebugsdotjpeg

27: crane-detector

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37: i-identify-as-an-ominous-threat

38: mysticmagicrat

39: hot-take-tournament

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41: cantheykillmacbeth

42: is-this-shakespearean-accurate

43: bear-detector

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46: the-demonhaj

47: cat-spotted

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50: your-fav-is-divorced

51: parentheses-posts

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55: mcmansionhell

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58: gimmick-spice-tolerance-bracket

59: really-fucked-up-stimboards

60: polishpriests

61: identifying-dinosaurs-in-posts

62: iloveants

63: gimmick-blog-bracket

64: the-actual-ocean

65: pointless-achievements

66: digital-slenderman

67: making-your-fave-in-fr

68: twopartposts

69: creatures-in-posts

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71: echo-flower-from-undertale

72: e-counter

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74: the-magentahaj

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76: friend-myth-kill

77: couldtransitionsaveher

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93: does-this-require-cyanobacteria

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111: i-want-tennis-ball

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340: rat-detector-the-22nd

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346: svard-haj

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348: starskids-twisted-daily

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351: jesus-holding-your-fave

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353: making-you-in-lps

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355: is-destiel-canon-yet

356: rat-detector-13

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358: rat-detector-seven

359: aistobascistod

360: nether-have-i-ever

361: shit-hdb-would-say

362: objectum-culture-is

363: hitboxesonstockimages

364: black-parade-daily

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366: lemondemonlyrics-daily

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368: king-of-the-gods-zeus

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495: punctuation-completionist

496: daily-vitamin-an

497: i-give-chess-pieces-to-people

498: left-handed-minecraft-mobs

499: colourpickingpride

500: eurovision-song-bracket

501: incognitopolls

502: self-proclaimed-brick-expert

503: shittysawtraps

504: self-ish-daily

505: i-give-olms-to-people

506: scromble

[millersfinest]

untethered⁶ | e.w

00s!ellie williams & 00s!miller!reader

wc: 8.9k

series: chapter one, chapter two, chapter three (you’re here!), chapter four , chapter five , chapter six (you’re here)

blurb: it’s been awhile since you’ve been back home; in upstate new york where you’ve spent most of your life waking up early and tending to the animals that moo’d and meh’d. after graduation high school, and then college, the city life has stolen most of your attention. enabling you to visit only a handful of times through the years. when your lovely adoptive parents (tommy and maria miller) invite you back for a thanksgiving dinner—a troubled old flame from your childhood manages to get your attention, despite its explosive ending.

cw: lmao flip phones, r and ellie might have beat the cheating allegations, more use of y/n then i would prefer, she/her pronouns, some vulgar language, jealous!ellie (kind of), the millers, r is a writer (she doesn’t write much in this ch wink wink), ellie being insecure a bit, tommy and joel being brothers, r being a little self-deprecating, elements of longing, ellie is #1 lesbian yearner in the world, jealous ellie, some early 2000s references, thanksgiving, abby is a plot device lmao, hella angst, rich!abby (one of r’s evil exes), repressed emotions, a flirty/horny cliffhanger-ish.

note: thank you guys for flooding my inbox w untethered ch 6 demands…. i hear you, i see you, i understand you… AND HERE’S THAT CHAPTER!!! im sorry for making you guys wait so long. it wasn’t easy writing this chapter, and i still feel like it sucks, but i hate keeping you guys waiting. like i genuinely feel bad 😞. theres like one paragraph that i love in here and thats's it... but as always, i hope you guys enjoy this chapter… next chapter (and final chapter) should be even more angsty, and hopefully, sexy. bisouu my loves <3 (if something doesn't make sense... yes it does)

The smell of broiling honey ham filled your nostrils. Humored voices of your father and Joel echoed from the outside as they grilled their sirloins over burning charcoal. You set the counters with the food that was already cooked and ready to eat, leaving them out like it were a buffet. The warm desserts were placed after the savory vegetables plated on some of your mother’s finest china. You and Maria waited for the ham, as it was the last thing to be ready—she wanted it to be fresh.

During this time, you changed into your evening clothes, which was none other than a pair of overall shorts, a white frilly crop top, and your cowboy boots. Clean ones, of course.

You haven’t seen or heard from Ellie since your little squabble. Joel had come in with a nicely cooked pie in his hands, without her, claiming that she had to make a quick run. Then, you noticed Cat was gone, too. Perhaps, there was some correlation there. You didn’t want to pester because of how tender everything was after your confession. That didn’t mean you weren’t curious, though. While you felt an immense pressure lifted from your shoulders, there was an underlying level of an unnerving feeling.

Old habits die hard, they say. And you find that to be true.

“So’s… your friend still comin’, honey?” Maria checks for the crispy brown on the shell of the ham in the oven. “Or is that called off since your realization…”

In the midst of sorting out your mother’s finest plates, you paused. “Shit,” You cursed, clenching a fist and shutting your eyes, tightly. Abby was still coming over for dinner—you completely forgot all about that! Fuck. You looked at the time on the oven, squinting your eyes. 5:57. “Is it too late to cancel on her?” You muttered, peering at your mother.

“What time did you tell her to be here by?”

“6-ish…”

Maria took in a deep breath, glancing up at her ceiling. “To be frank, Bug,” She inhaled through her teeth. “At some point you gotta throw in the asshole towel—“

There was a knock on the door. You cringed, gritting your teeth. “Please, can you answer it?” You beg, furrowing your eyebrows.

“No.” She deadpans.

“Well, I can’t… Because— because I have to go help dad and Joel with the steak.” You pressed your lips into a line, preparing to walk out to the back porch. You didn’t know if the culprit of the door knocking was Abby, but all the odds were pointing to her. If it were Ellie, she wouldn’t have knocked. And, if it were Cat, she’d be behind Ellie.

Before you could get far, she tugged on the back of your overalls, pulling you to a stop. “Answer the damn door.” Maria commanded, flashing her stern, bright eyes at you.

You pouted, stomping your foot. Nervousness arose in your chest, tightening and constricting. With a sigh, you approached the front door. When you pulled it open, the sight of a tall, muscular blonde grinning at you—caused a knowing smile creep onto your face. “Abby,” You sighed her name, taking in a deep inhale, leaning on the door.

A bottle of wine was held in her hands. “I hope I’m not too early.” She chuckled with a hint of nervousness. It was sweet.

“No… Not at all.” You ran your tongue over your lips, awkwardly reaching to hug her. You slid your arm around her waist, instead of her neck like usual—pressing your sides together, platonically. As if she were an acquaintance. Don’t think she didn’t take notice to that. “Come on in.” Gently, you take the bottle from her hands, peering at the label. It was a red wine, Pinot Noir, not your favorite.

You shut the door behind her, sighing once it clicked with your hands braced against the cool wood. Like that could cure the queasiness building in your stomach. With dragging legs, you walked her to the kitchen. Where your mother feigned unawareness. “Maria, this is my friend, Abby.” You introduced her without focus, setting the bottle on the kitchen counter behind the desserts. The use of your mother’s name was you trying to quip at her for making you answer the door.

She tucked her long, golden hair behind her ears, reaching a hand out to shake mother’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to put a name to a face.” Maria spoke, firmly taking hers. “How did you meet my daughter?” She followed up, quickly.

You rolled your eyes, scoffing under your breath. That was question was irrelevant to ask. She was asking her with the tone of a protective parent, but Abby was only ever going to be a friend—especially, after the last few days.

“We met at a fundraising event last year. My dad, he was a top bidder, and her agent, Isa, was a very persistent businesswoman.” Abby chortled, charmingly. She always managed to slip her financial status within her conversation—she was good at it. In that statement alone, she announced to your mother just how much she knew you. Enough to know the name of your agent, enunciating Isa’s name in a way to exploit your closeness—because how would she know how grueling that woman was at times? As well as letting her know that she could support you in ways others probably couldn’t.

My dad, he was a top bidder.

What the fuck did that matter? Her presence alone was getting under your skin; more than it ever had. And you weren’t sure if it was her fault, or your own.

You yearned for the girl who claimed to love you earlier in the day. That’s you’re fuckin’ problem. Always wanting to be perfect— but you’re not! Not even close. And I fucking love you for it. You could hear her raspy voice crowding over Abby’s friendly words. How Ellie achieved simultaneously calling you out, while passionately confessing her love for you—again—seamlessly… You’ll never know.

“Abby,” You spoke up. “Why don’t you help set the table? I’m gonna go check on the steaks… Maybe, after, I can give you a quick tour before dinner.” The only way to survive that was to push through—make her feel at home, try not to be weird.

“Sounds great!” She rubbed her hands together, excitedly. You hand her the delicate plates, giving a smile that barely met your eyes.

On the way toward the porch, you make eye contact with your mother. Curt. Stern. Irritated. Maria didn’t care to give a reaction—you must lie in the bed you made. Even though, you didn’t intend to forget to call things off with Abby. It’s been a very busy, dramatic two days.

Slipping through the back door, you look for the comfort of your father’s eyes. “Bug! Come taste this!” Tommy clamped his tongs, motioning to his tray of steak.

“I think you should taste mine first—“

“No! She’s my daughter— she’s tastin’ mine first.”

You waved a dismissive hand, chuckling under pouty lips. “I’ll taste both, but… I have to ask you somethin’ first, Joel.” Your face fell into a serious expression.

His brown eyes twitched, amused features melting from his aged face. “Yeah…”

“Ellie’s coming back, right?” Your fingers intertwined with themselves, while you chewed on the soft skin inside of your mouth. “The secrets out now, so… She can come back.” You shrugged, childishly. “And dinner’s gonna be ready any minute now— mom’s only gonna hold off for so long. She likes her ham hot.” Words flooded from your glossy lip, followed by a timid gulp.

“What made you think she wouldn’t come back, sweetheart?”

“It’s not like you explained where she went, Joel.” You deadpanned. “I was left to my own devices— as in, my own dysfunctional brain. You know what happens when I do that.”

He pursed his lips, fighting the grin he wanted to share. Joel glanced at his brother, huffing. “You didn’t ask, either, Bug.”

You paused, crossing your arms. “Did you ever consider that I didn’t want to? If you haven’t noticed— which I know that you have— she’s pissed at me.”

Joel inhaled, cutting off a piece of his steak for you. “I’m not pissed at you, though.” He hands it over to you on a fork, and you take it mindlessly. You weren’t known for having anger issues, but it seemed as if Joel was testing you.

“Joel, can you stop being a dick and tell me where she is?” You whined, childishly, before putting the square piece of meat into your mouth, chewing with identifying eyebrows. You looked up at the darkening sky, humming. His piece blossomed with flavor. It was a little tough, but you didn’t mind it because of how flavorful it was. “This is… Great. A little tough—” The voice of your father cut you off, mid-thought. Joel shrugged, nudging Tommy’s shoulder, teasingly.

Tommy scoffed, cutting a piece for you. “He manipulated you into trying his steak first— here’s mine.” He gasped, leaning the fork your way.

With a shrug, you took the fork, pulling the meat from the prongs with your front teeth. You hummed, again, peering at your father with wide eyes. Tommy’s was more tender, with a softer, pinker inside between the char. “Okay…” You roll your tongue in your mouth. “Whichever one of you tells me where Ellie is first, wins.”

“Honey, that’s not fair—“

“She’s dropping off Cat at the train station. I suggested they break up, and I’m sure they did— Ellie should be on her way back by now.”

A mischievous grin coursed over your features that were being bitten by the crisp, autumn air. “Silly, silly, Joel.” You shook your head. “You win on flavor… Dad, you win on texture— meaning overall, my favorite is yours. Congratulations.” You pat your fathers’ shoulder, pressing your lips into a tight smile.

You pivoted on your feet, chewing on the inside of your lips in thought. Ellie was dropping Cat off at the train station—you wondered what brought her from the ledge of revenge to return home on Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, you didn’t get the chance to apologize to her for your thoughtless behavior. But… Partially, you were relieved that you didn’t have to face her. However, there was a pull in your gut that you had to apologize regardless of her absence.

It was a tug of war with your morals and ego.

Basically, you snatched the screen door open, huffing and getting the attention of the chatty blonde and your mother. She was chewing on a piece of ham, moaning in delight. “Mrs. Miller, I hope you don’t mind if I have more than one serving later…”

“There’s plenty of ham to go around, hon.” She waved a hand, the ends of her lips curling.

Your eyebrows jut together, but you covered that small change of expression with a tight smile. “You ready for that tour, Abs?” You snapped your fingers. It was an awkward and very rare movement from you, but it was barely noticed. Not by Abby, at least.

She wiped her lips with a napkin, dusting her hands on her tight jeans. “If you don’t mind?” Abby politely spoke to your mother, and for a moment, it didn’t bother you. A few months ago, these little moments were what you wished for. You envisioned her eating your mom’s cooking with a smile, conversing with her in your childhood home—but she didn’t want that. It was bitterly humorous how much of a natural she was in the scope of things.

Maria nodded, giving you an off glance, and jutting her blonde eyebrows upwards. You took her hand, dragging her out the front door, shoving through the screen door. Once you were out in the brisk, autumn air, you slid your hand from hers—crossing your arms over your chest like a shield of some sort.

“I thought your bedroom would be the first stop…” Abby chortled to herself, glancing down at you. However, you barely reacted. Perhaps, she was joking or jesting—trying to make you laugh.

Internally, you cringed. “My bedroom is the least fascinating thing here.” You narrowed your eyes at her, leading the woman down the porch. “So, what interests you the most? Horses? Goats? Cows?” You perk an eyebrow, peering up at her. Eyes switching between her semi-awkward stature and the background of the front of the house. You yearned for the dull high beams of Ellie’s truck.

“Horses are cool…” She nodded, surveying your features, trying to determine your thoughts. Abby has never been so focused on you, and frankly, it made you feel weird. A part of you wanted to relish in the fact that she was giving you the energy you had been wanting from her all along. But the wound that was severed by the touch and attention of your past lover—nothing could compare! It would be greedy for you to welcome this modified version of Abby Anderson. Deep down, if it came down to it, you’d choose Ellie over Abby; no questions asked.

“My dad, he has a soft spot for animals… The last time I saw a horse I was, like, fifteen.” Abby continued, while you led her toward the horse barn. “He took me to some ranch for my birthday.”

You hummed, raising an eyebrow. “It wasn’t this one, right?” A chuckle fell from your lips, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your overalls.

Abby guffawed, pushing a straying piece of her hair behind her ears. “No, it wasn’t this one. The ranch I went to, their horses were very easily frightened—which was odd because their whole shtick was horse-riding.” She deepened her eyebrows at the memory, shrugging her shoulders. “I almost fell off one of ‘em.”

“Geez, Abs.” You puffed air from your lips. “Well, my parents have always spent lots of time training these horses— so, you have nothing to be worried about.” Your fingers grazed the material of her shirt on her arm, pressing your lips into a smile. “The only one that isn’t formally trained is Sarah, but she’s only a few weeks old. And to be honest, she takes to new people very well.” As you approached the barn, a few of them still grazed around. It was Shimmer and Sarah out along the fence, and Hamlet sort of just watching them.

“Alright, I’ll have to trust you.” She pursed her lips.

“I’d never lead you into the fire, Abby…”

You opened the gate, walking into the enclosure of the barn. Abby appeared apprehensive about walking into their space. Her previous experience with a horse must’ve truly affected her. Warmly, you held out a hand for her—giving her the option to take it. You wiggled your fingers, sporting a slightly teasing smile. Abby took your hand, firmly, holding onto your hand as if she never wanted to let go. Spark.

Her fear was endearing; it was like seeing her in a different light. How confusing.

“Over there, that’s Shimmer and her baby Sarah. They’re both the most affectionate. Sarah takes after her mother in that way. And lingering off to the side… That’s Hamlet—he’s a bit of a loner. He likes to walk around and keep an eye on everyone.”

“Like a protector?”

“Yeah, somethin’ like that.” You nod, still holding onto her coarse hand. “I could introduce you to Shimmer? Like I said, she’s super sweet— I’m sure she’ll adore you.” You wanted to give her the option because that was just the type of person that you were. Despite your flip-floppy relationship, in a sense, you allowed her admittance of a small fear to soften your heart to her. The tethering of your hands, the feeling of leading her—controlling her, guiding her—it gave you a sense of comfort. It was a connection that you were waiting for. However, still, it didn’t feel the same compared to the auburn-haired artist. Now, that there was a chance to compare.

Her palms were too coarse, more focused on her inner knuckles, remnants of her history with heavy lifting. While Ellie’s exposed her love of physical art, music, drawing, painting. The callouses relied on her fingertips rather than her palms—and for some reason, that mattered more to you.

With her hand in yours, you lead her toward Shimmer, cooing as you approached her. You muttered sweet words to the much shorter horse, Sarah, before guiding her hand to touch Shimmer. You palm over the back of her hand to reassure that Abby was safe—that she wasn’t going to hurt her.

You weren’t leading her into the fire.

Her soft, blue eyes gleamed at you, but it was hard to notice at first as you were focused on Shimmer. Your other hand scratched at the side of her neck, burrowing your nails under her coarse fur. A nervous tick; an attempt at ignoring the harsh gaze of the blonde next to you. Abby’s dilated irises penetrated the side of your face with the weight of a glare. You swallowed a lump in your throat, averting your eyes from Shimmer’s copper fur toward her enamored features.  

There wasn’t much time for you to take in her look of yearning before she enveloped you into her arms, attaching her lips to yours. She shared her warmth with her firm arms cradling your bare ones, and it did, in fact, warm you up. But it wasn’t warm. Although, your arms automatically wrapped around her shoulders—fingers imbedding into her fine, blonde hair—you allowed her touch to consume you. Her desperate touch. Her lips plead against yours, pleading for you to dive into her as she wanted you to. As you used to with fervor. Abby noticed your lack of enthusiasm, or more so attempt to replicate your past enthusiasm. She prided herself on her intelligence, meaning that she knew something had changed between the two of you. Either you gained more self-respect for yourself, or there was someone else.

Someone who touched you better than she did. Someone who had the time to love you how you wanted to be loved.

Off in the dark, a truck pulled onto the graveled driveway of the younger Millers’ home. When she put the car in park, leaned her head against the stirring wheel, releasing a groan of relief. The trip to the train station was long, and initially silent. Until Cat became livid enough to make Ellie pull over for an hour. She was sobbing, screaming, unleashing her pent-up anger on the artist—and deservingly so; Ellie knew that much. Debatably, it was one of her best fuckups because it brought you back to her.

It all began with the tempting of a fruit. The garden of Eden—your quivering lips in a filthy, bar bathroom. Historians call that the fall of man, however, ever since she succumbed to you, she’s felt higher than she ever has. A burning joint was nothing compared to you.

Ellie’s poor decision making was worth Cat’s wrath if it brought her back to you.

But there was a lingering pressure that haunted her mind like a juvenile insecurity. A two-syllable word that was a poltergeist in her mind—fickle. Was the reigniting of a fire, the fire that Ellie sparked, received for the sake of receiving. Maybe, you didn’t love her like you claimed—but that didn’t make sense. Not for you!

The disorganized artist worried and worried and worried. When her dull high beams reflected off the white, farmhouse ahead of her; her nerves only increased. There was this need to prove herself to you that she couldn’t shake.

After gathering courage, she hopped out of her truck, slamming the door to release the energy that harbored at the pit of her belly. Ellie shoved the key into the driver’s door, locking all of the doors with a huff. Her toes pivoted, hands sliding into her front pockets as she approached the house—mentally readying herself to see your face again. The last time the two of you spoke, she proclaimed her love for you despite your blundering imperfections. Ellie was sure that you didn’t take well to that; she needed to explain!

Her beat-up converse crunched over the gravel; she could feel every pebble under her deteriorating sole. In the dark, her earthy eyes squinted in the direction of the barn—to get a look at the grazing horses she spent time with earlier. Ellie wanted to check up on them from the distance in which she walked. However, she was met with a sight that burned her from the inside out.

It was you wrapped in the arms of the same woman from the bar. Tall in her stature, in a black shirt that hugged her protruding muscles perfectly. Long, glimmering, golden hair that your fingers punctured. To feel a combination of emotions was an understatement.

Her fingers tingled up her slender arms, lips arching in disgust. “What the fuck is happening…?” Ellie muttered with grit, starting to stalk toward the house, scoffing under her breath. But, before she reached the stairs to the porch, she turned on her feet again. Consumed with frustration, she began to lead herself toward the horse barn with stiff shoulders and balled-up fists.

Ellie appeared on the opposite side of the fence than you and Abby with a look in her eye that could be confused for estrangement. While you were already breaking apart, placing your hand on Abby’s firm chest, unable to meet her eyes—afraid to expose your apprehension. The artist’s appearance caused you to nearly jump out of your boots. You jumped a few inches from the taller blonde woman, placing your fingers over your glistening lips, ruminating with regret.

“I’m afraid we haven’t gotten the chance to meet— I’m Ellie.” Her raspy voice was taut, and too formal. It was barely the voice that you were used to. She failed to offer a physical greeting, like offering her hand; she just kept her hands had her sides.

You hid your face in your hands, cursing to yourself. Fuck. Fuck. Abby lips parted, awkwardly. “Uhm, Abby Anderson… I’ve heard a lot about you.” Her slender eyebrows jutted upwards, and she held out her hand, but wasn’t met with warmth. It was true that she knew about Ellie—the past version of her, at least. She’d heard the story of her poking and prodding at you in your youth, but even with that, you never spoke ill of her. By the time you met Abby, there was a level of accountability taken over the situation that didn’t exist years before.

She was nothing more than a story about your first love.

Ellie glanced at you, bitterly. “Yeah, I’m sure you have…” She ran her earthy eyes up Abby’s tall, muscular figure with a frown.

“Ellie—” Her voice cut you off before you could speak, causing you to look off to the side in contempt.

“Dinner’s ready, right? We should probably head inside… Wouldn’t wanna leave Maria waiting.” The auburn-haired woman stalked off before either you or Abby had the chance to react. You sighed, barely sparing the blonde a glance before following behind her. A frown pressed deeply onto your lips, mind racing behind your shifting, watering eyes. Abby muttered a ‘what the hell’ under her breath, smacking her hands against her thighs. But you didn’t say anything, just gnawed on the inside of your lip, anxiously. The tables turned too fast for your liking.

The auburn-haired artist didn’t care to hold the screen door open for you and your guest, quickly entering the house. Tommy and Joel were inside sorting the steaks out in a singular disposable tin pan. They looked up simultaneously, like brothers, at the sight before them. Joel squinted at the sight of a fuming Ellie, or the sight of her trying to hide her frustration and anger. And Tommy looked to you with a similar look, and a simple jut of his eyebrows at the blonde woman behind you.

“Steak! I’m fucking starving.” You heard Ellie mutter, walking to the counter after taking a plate from the dining table.

A sigh left your lips while your father handed you an empty plate, but you passed it over to Abby—still, not sparing her a glance. Then, he handed you another one. The blonde man leans down, speaking in your ear while your mother tried to break the awkwardness of Abby’s presence. “Something happened?” He muttered, putting food on his plate.

“Mhm…” You glanced at him with wide, weary eyes.  

Somehow, everyone found themselves sat at the dining table: you between Abby and your mother, and Ellie between Tommy and Joel—you were looking straight at each other. You pleaded with your eyes for her not to react; that you could explain if you were given the chance. But that was too much to say with only a pointed gaze.

“So, Abby, what do you do?” She asked the blonde beside you, cutting her steak, forcefully.

“I’m a surgeon— an intern at Bellevue Hospital.” She nodded, forking the vegetables on her plate.

“Oh, that’s wonderful.” Tommy nodded, he glanced at her. His comment made Ellie’s eye twitch, subtly. “I have a friend who works in the medical field— have you figured out your specialty yet, or…”

Abby hummed, sipping water from a shiny glass cup, looking over the rim to meet your father’s eyes. “Not quite. My dad’s a general surgeon, so that interested me the most— but the more I work with surgeons under different specialties, the more I find myself interested in other things.” She swallowed, blinking. “Like, now, I’m considering orthopedic surgery.”

“That’s the one with the bones, right?” Joel questioned, partly chewing on his food.

“Yes, sir. That’s the one.” She chuckled, leaning her forearms on the table.

You watched Ellie take a gulp of her beer before speaking once more. “So, if you’re a surgeon… And y/n’s a writer— how’d the two of you meet?”

Maria smiled, glancing at her husband. “Well, Ellie, they met through her agent, Isa. At an event— what was it? A gala?”

“A fundraiser.” Finally, you spoke up to correct, holding up a finger that proclaimed your usual know-it-all behavior. Then, you reached for your wine glass, taking large gulps to down the substance—hoping it’d ease your uneven temper. You noticed that your lover, the auburn-haired one, had played the word fundraiser on her tongue. Under her breath, she talked to herself as if she was mocking the way you said the word.

The muscular blonde beside you cleared her throat, leveling her bright eyes onto the woman in front of you. “What do you do, Ellie?” Abby wondered with a barely noticeable sneer, but you caught it.

From the corner of your eye, you peered at her, stiffening your frame.

Her round, olive eyes glared at her—a glare that nobody at that table could miss. Everyone but Abby knew Ellie through and through; her anger couldn’t be hidden. In fact, she was the last person at that table who could ever hide her anger. “I’m an artist.” She curtly responded.

“So, you draw?”

“And she paints.” You fill in, turning your head in the direction of your guest. Her inquiry seemed backhanded—passive aggressive—and that struck a nerve. As if drawing was insignificant. “She’s really good at it.” Your eyes meet hers and for a moment her harsh, green eyes softened.

“Have I seen any of your work anywhere?”

“You don’t seem like a coffee shop person, so I doubt it.” Ellie grimaced, rolling her eyes. “I’m getting another drink.” Abruptly, she stood out of her chair, to walk into the kitchen that was hidden behind a wall and corner. The wooden legs screeching against the floor, causing you to cringe.

Abby shrugged, peering at you with a slight curl to her lips. “I love coffee.”

You scoffed, shutting your eyes. Without saying a word, you stood to your feet to follow her into the kitchen. Before you slipped away, you managed to slide your fingers along your guests’ shoulders as a way of reassurance—mainly so she wouldn’t get the urge to follow you.

When you entered the kitchen, Ellie was found with her hands braced on the counter and her head hanging low. The heels of your cowboy boots clicking against kitchen floor, slowly. Apprehensively. Nervously. You played with your fingertips, puffing air from your lips. “Ellie…”

“What the fuck was that?” Her eyes met yours, stressed and irritated with striking red veins.

You shrugged, pressing your lips into a line. “I was sticking up for you—“

“That’s not what I’m talkin’ about and you know that…” She scorned, barely even blinking her eyes. They bored into you in a way that almost petrified your frame.

You swallowed, casting your eyes up to the ceiling, guiltily. “It just happened.”

“It just happened?” She perked a scarred eyebrow, chortling, dryly. “It just fucking happened— I bet you could say the same for what happened between us, too, huh?” Ellie turned her body toward you, keeping her other hand leaning on the counter. Her voice was level, trying to keep the conversation down so other wouldn’t hear it—because even when she was angry, she still felt the need to shield you. Or more so, keep your relationship problems undercover. “Tell me, y/n… Am I fucking idiot? You made this big fuss about me breaking up with Cat, and the second I do, I see you eating Abby’s fucking face!”

“I wasn’t eating her face…”

“Semantics!”

“It was out of nowhere— I didn’t ask her to kiss me, Ellie!” You tried with a deep furrow in your brow, lips quivering. “It’s just… It’s just we have history—“

She laughed, bitterly.

“We have history and she’s stuck in a cycle I haven’t had the chance to break.”

Ellie squinted her eyes at you. “What the hell does that even mean?” Voice pulled taut, stepping closer to you. “You said that if I got rid of Cat, you’d get rid of Abby.”

“I forgot she was coming! Did you forget the day we had?!” The space between you was closing in the heat of frustration. “We didn’t exactly end on good terms earlier— excuse me for letting something as minuscule as Abby attending dinner to slip my mind.” You rambled with a secretive voice. “I had a very eventful day—“

“And you think I didn’t?”

You groaned under your breath, bunching your hands into fists at your sides. “I never said you didn’t… I just said that I did. There’s a lot on my mind.” A sigh fled your lips, fingers pinching the bridge of your nose. “You know, I told my parents about us— right after our argument, because I couldn’t let them hear it from you or Cat.” Your voice softened, peering into her dilated eyes. Your trembling fingers tethered to the cotton that covered her arm, sliding down, attempting to reach for her hand. “I made peace with what we did… Because I wanna be with you, Els.” The choice to quote her own words wasn’t intentional, it was your truth.

When she had scolded you in your own bedroom, it wasn’t a great feeling, but she wasn’t wrong. You needed to stop wanting to be perfect all the time—nobody makes the best decisions every chance they get. Sometimes people fuckup and that’s okay.

The image of you searching her eyes made her heart melt. She wanted to fall into you—to kiss you, and say everything was fine… Even if it wasn’t. Ellie felt your hand creeping into hers. Your soft fingertips tapping her stiff palm. She found herself proud of you for admitting your faults to your parents—it was your greatest fear, but you did it anyway. Perhaps, you have changed or you were learning to. However, the looming presence of that buff surgeon irritated her.

Jealousy was a raging bitch.

And, speaking of… There she came, strutting into the kitchen with a look of concern. “Hey, is everything alright?” Her deep blue eyes only looked at you, gaging your stability—she couldn’t care less for Ellie’s.

Ellie swiped her hand from yours, running that same hand through her hair. “Yeah, everything’s fine.” She reached into the fridge, snatching a glass bottle of beer from the door. Just as quick as she did that, she fled the scene. Not sparing you a glance.

Eerily, your hand felt cold. You pouted, watching her leave, scratching your eyebrow. Abby uttered your name, sliding her hand around your waist. Your body tensed under her touch—it wasn’t what you yearned for. “Everything’s fine, Abby.” You breathed, gently touching the hand on your waist, removing it. However, you hid your form of rejection by turning to her, plastering a fake smile on your face.

“Joel started playing his guitar… Didn’t want you to miss it.”

“Nothing I haven’t seen before— but I don’t want you to miss it, so…” You take in a deep inhale, averting your eyes. “I’ll meet you in there. I need a minute.”

Abby appeared taken aback and confused. You weren’t acting like the person she thought that she knew. And to be fair, it all started at the Tipsy Bison. “What’s going on— is something wrong—?”

“I just need a minute, alright?” You stressed, pinching your features. Almost snapping at her, but not quite. Still, your tone unnerved the blonde. She twitched, backing up from you with dejected shoulders. Abby scoffed under her breath, leaving you to pace in the kitchen alone—just like you wanted.

Because of your sudden stance at the dinner table, standing up to trot after Ellie, you forgot your empty wine glass. Instead of ducking toward the table to grab it, you just grabbed a clean glass from the cabinet. You poured a full glass of the Pinot Grigio that Ellie and Tommy had brought—nearly filling it to the brim. God, you needed a cigarette. The nicotine could hold you and console you better than a full bottle of wine. Better than the large, calloused hands of Abigail Anderson. But, better than the nimble, lightly calloused hands of Ellie Williams? Her arms? The whisps of her bluntly cut hair tickling your skin—no. Nothing was better than that… Than her.

The melodic sounds of Joel’s guitar filled your ears, and the impressed chuckles of his brother—your father. You missed hearing him play. His pleasant strum eased the spirits slipping down your throat. Then, you heard another tune, and it pulled you from the confines of the kitchen.

Your fingers held the bulbous part of the glass, resting your elbow over your arm. You moved as if you were being drawn spiritually to the living room, appearing behind Abby.

Ellie had propped herself on a stool in front of the television, with her own guitar, the one that had an inscription of your initials on the neck. It couldn’t be seen from the position you stood, but the feeling of knowing it was still there made your heart lurch.

Your parents sat on the couch, and Joel had been on a loveseat toward the side, fiddling with his own guitar. Nervously, Ellie plucked the copper strings of her guitar, attempting to quickly tune it. Her freckled cheeks were warm and a light shade of pink.

Her earthy eyes looked up at your sudden appearance and you smiled behind your full glass of wine, shyly. The corners of her plush lips curled in a subtle way that your guest would miss it—or at least you hoped that she did. Or… Maybe you didn’t. You’ve proven to be a shameless person over the past few days.

When she began to strum the guitar, she played the tune of a song that was familiar to you—Keane—Somewhere Only We Know. It was one of the songs featured on her MySpace account, in her bio. One of the first things a lurker would notice after seeing her fandom username.

Her soft, timid voice rose from her throat, singing the beginning of the song. You sipped at your white wine, lowering the glass so she could see the smile unable to fall from your lips. There was a rasp to her voice that exposed her skills to be an effect of her hobby-ing. Ellie sung not because she was good at it, but because she wanted to—it gave her comfort. And, perhaps, that’s what she needed.

“So, tell me when you’re gonna let me in… I’m getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin.”

Your epidermis burned, cheeks heating up as if it were w furnace being heated by charring charcoal. Let me in. It was selfish for you to apply yourself to the words she spoke that was written by another person. But you needed to let her in! Irrevocably.

However, for you to do that… You needed to let Abby out.

You reached up for her shoulder, tugging her closer to your level, so you could whisper in her ear. “Meet me in my bedroom in five minutes— upstairs.” Your lips moved close to the shell of her ear, fingers tapping along her strong shoulder. She didn’t know where your bedroom was, but you were certain she’d find it.

Maria side-eyed you as you slipped away with slumping shoulders. Ellie noticed your departure, stammering on the lyrics she was singing, but she kept going, dejectedly.

The navigation from the living room to your bedroom helped you realize the sum of what you drank. You stumbled on your way up the stairs, holding onto the railing, shutting your eyes and shaking your head to gather yourself.

When you entered your bedroom, you set the glass on your bedside table, meandering to your reading nook. You had swiped the pack of cigarettes from your dresser, opening up the window and lighting up to calm your wired nerves.

The cool breeze wafted into your bedroom, sending a chill down your spine. Between your index and middle finger was your burning stick of nicotine and tobacco. Remnants stuck to your clothes before slipping out the flushing window.

You practiced how you were going to break it off with her. Direct or indirect—which one was best?

Abby, we need to talk…

Abby, I have something to tell you—

“There you are…” The blonde woman peeked into your bedroom before walking inside. She shut the door behind her, and you frowned out your window. “Your room’s pinker than I thought I’d be.” Abby chortled, preparing to join you on the nook, but you spoke before she could.

“We can’t see each other anymore…” You puffed smoke from your lips, eyeing her from the corner of your eye.

She bunched her eyebrows together, lips parting. “What—?”

“And don’t act like we weren’t seeing each other, because we very much were.”

Her hands hit her thighs. “I wasn’t going to.” A deep sigh came from her mouth, fingers reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose. “Fuck, I should’ve seen this coming.” Abby muttered, shaking her head.

You tapped your thumb around the mouthpiece of your cigarette to get rid of the ashes. “I should’ve never invited you here. I knew better, but—“ The corner of your mouth lifted and you laughed. “I wanted to be an asshole. You don’t deserve that, though. Even if you led me on for a few months.”

“Is that what all this is about? What happened with us?” She ran her hand through her hair, cheeks reddening. “y/n, I wasn’t thinking and…”

“It doesn’t matter, Abby.” You looked at her, intently. “I need someone who makes time for me— even in the oddest of situations, and that’s not you.” You tried to keep your business to yourself. The relationship that was blooming between you and an old flame; it was sacred. And, she didn’t need to know that you were taking on homewrecking as a hobby.

She scoffed, averting her eyes from you. “What did you think me driving down here was, then? Skipping out on my friends to come to a place you didn’t even want me to be—“

“I didn’t ask you to skip out on your friends—“

“Well, I did anyway!”

A beat passed between the both of you.

The blonde woman frowned. “For you, because I wanted to make up for…” Her voice trailed off, eyes welling up with tears. “It was all for nothing, clearly.”

Earlier, you had made promise that you wouldn’t lead her into fire. Yet, that’s exactly what you did. “Abby, I still appreciate you coming and being so helpful and kind to my family but… To be honest, it’s too late for me.”

Her hand wiped against her face, roughly. She trained her eyes on a spot in your room that was interesting enough to keep her emotional gaze—instead of looking you in the eye. “Do you think I’m stupid?”

You deepened your eyebrows. “Do I think you’re stupid—? “

“It’s Ellie, isn’t it?”

Your lips fell open, gaping like fish gasping for air. “You textbook lesbian…” Abby muttered to herself, chuckling, dryly.

“Abby!” You scolded, glaring up at her.

“What? It’s the truth. I never had a fucking chance to begin with.”

In a fit of frustration, you dabbed the end of your burning cigarette onto one of your pillows, burning through the material. “That’s not true!” You stood up, abruptly. “I gave you a chance months ago, and you fucking blew it!” You pointed an accusatory finger. “You’re career meant more to you—“

“Since when is that a bad thing—?”

“Fuckin’ other girls meant more to you!”

She gasped. “Oh, come on, you know that’s a reach…” Her eyes rolled, dismissively.

Stubbornly, you crossed your arms. “Do I?”

Abby scoffed, laughing, dryly. “Ever since I met you… I liked you— I was into you. I wanted you.” She confessed, tiredly. “My unavailability wasn’t some made up lie to pull a fast one. I was an overachieving, fourth-year med student who didn’t wanna risk too many distractions.” The woman explained, pausing for anxious breath. “Yeah, I know, I said some things that probably hurt your feelings—“

“Probably?” You perked an eyebrow.

She sighed. “Hurting your feelings was the only way I knew you wouldn’t expect anything of me more than what I was capable of— and, at the time, relationship-wise… I wasn’t capable of anything.” Her shoulders shrugged, weakly. As if she’s been keeping this to herself for some time.

Weirdly, you’re shoulders relaxed at her explanation. While you didn’t agree with her techniques to keep you at arms-length, you weren’t in the position to keep holding onto that frustration with her. You had other priorities. “I guess you’re right… I fucking blew it.”

Now, you sighed, averting your eyes around your room in thought. “You know, maybe, we were always meant to be friends?” You offered, rocking on your feet.

“You think I wanna be friends with you, right now?” Abby raised an eyebrow, looking at you from the side of her irritated eyes. But, there was a light smile on her lips, exposing that she wasn’t completely upset. Just disappointed that things didn’t work out as she’d hoped. “Seems like there’s something going on with you and that artist downstairs… That’s not something I wanna see— at least, not anytime soon, so…”

You rolled your eyes. “Well, whenever you have some free time on your hands, whenever you, you know, find someone else, or whatever… Maybe we could get some coffee— as friends.”

She genuinely chortled, cheeks blushing. “Yeah, whatever, Miller.” Abby jutted her thumb toward your door. “I’m gonna head out.”

You nodded, walking her to your bedroom door, following her out. “You want me to make you a plate, or anything?” That southern hospitality that was bred into you through your family could never be mistaken for being gone. Those years in the city hadn’t deteriorated you in that way. Even when you were breaking up with someone.

The woman pressed her lips into a line. “You know, what? Yeah, sure.”

“Good, because I was gon’ make you one anyway.” You nudged her side with your elbow, grinning ear to ear.

There was freedom that came to your unabashed honesty. As you walked down the stairs, your limps felt lighter, and that drunken feeling had almost spared you completely. Almost. On the last step, you nearly tripped but the sturdy railing kept your body level.

As you rounded the corner, Ellie brushed passed you and out the front door with her hand clutching her guitar. Her emotional eyes had caught the smile on your lips and perceived something that wasn’t true—just a shady assumption.

And she had every reason to assume.

The television had been turned up, and the sounds of the football game was blaring through the lower level of the house. You held up a finger to Abby, walking to your mother. “Hey,” You greeted, massaging your father’s shoulder as a physical greeting. “Would you mind makin’ Abby a plate to take home?”

She raised an eyebrow, an impressed eyebrow. “Oh, she’s leaving so soon?”

“I’m throwin’ in the asshole towel.” You shrugged, referencing her comment from earlier.

Maria chuckled, but her husband looked up at you with deepened eyebrows. “What the hell did you just say? Asshole towel—?”

“Just focus on the game, honey.” She patted her husbands shoulder, jumping to her feet. Maria met you around the couch, leaning close to you. “You go’n ahead and check on Ellie.”

You smiled, kissing her cheek, lovingly. Before you left out the door you, pointed at the tall doctor lingering in your kitchen. “Text me when you get back into the city, okay?”

Abby gave you a thumbs up. “Yeah,” Her eyes turned to your mothers frame. “Thank you, Mrs. Miller.”

Then, you slipped out the screen door, busting into a hasty speed walk. The uneven gravel wrecking havoc on your ankles, due to your slight impairment.

The porch light at the guesthouse flickered—it must need its bulb to be changed. When you appeared on the porch, your fist trembled as you raised it to knock on the door. Knock, knock, knock. You wrapped your arms around your body to keep warm.

A few moments passed and she didn’t respond.

You knocked the same pattern, and waited. Only for her to not respond, again. Behind you, you heard the engine of Abby’s Jaguar sounding off, beginning to roll along the gravel. But, you didn’t care much for it.

Heat in your cheeks blistered. “Ellie, I know you’re in there… Please, can you just open the door?” You tried with frowned lips. “It isn’t gettin’ any warmer out here…”

There was a brief silence before you heard her raspy voice on the other side of the door. “What? Abby can’t keep you warm anymore?” She scoffed.

You sighed, leaning an arm on the door frame. “No, she can’t because she just left.”

The door swung open, revealing a disheveled artist, fingers covered in charcoal. “Really?”

“Really.” You met her eyes with sincerity.

Ellie groaned, releasing the tension that she’s been harboring, leaving the door and walking into the living room.

That was her letting you inside, so you adhered, walking into the guesthouse. You shut the door behind you, eyeing her slender retreating frame. She meandered into the living room, placing hers on the stool in front of her easel. It was a new canvas, still being sketched on before she added the paints.

The pan of the pie sat on the coffee table in front of the couch, with a fork inside of it. She had taken the pie for herself, and instead of making a plate, she ate it from the tin.

Ellie continued the project she was working on, barely even giving you a glance. To break the silence, you spoke. “I meant what I said earlier…”

You couldn’t exactly see what she was sketching because you wanted to keep your distance for her sake—to respect her uncertainty. “I don’t know…” She muttered, shaking her head.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

The woman sighed, turning her body toward you on the stool. She pushed the pieces of her auburn hair behind her pierced ears. “I’m an artist who’s only sells my paintings to local coffee shops for under a hundred bucks, because I’m too scared to try anywhere else— she’s a fucking doctor… And she’s ripped!” Her hands slapped against her thighs. “Why do you wanna be with me?”

Taken aback by her outburst, you blinked. A soft scoff left your lips. “Well, I don’t like you only because you’re an artist… And I didn’t like Abby only because she was a doctor— what kind of person do you think I am?” You questioned, softly. “I wanna be with you because I love you, Ellie— Abby could never make me feel what you make me feel.” You giggle behind your finger, briefly averting your eyes. “It’s like… I can fuckin’ smell colors and taste sounds—“

“Okay, now you’re just saying whatever.”

“Hey, you’re the one who asked why I want to be with you. I’m just being honest.” You shrugged, approaching her. Gently, you caressed your fingers up her bare arms, sliding up her neck to the crevice of her jaw. “I know it wasn’t easy to see what you saw earlier, and I’m sorry— I mean, just seeing you hug Cat made me wanna blow up.” She leaned into your touch, keening to you.

Smiling down at her, your eyes casted to the canvas on the easel. It was an outline of you—matter of fact, your naked body. “Ellie,” A gasp fled from your lips. “This better be an example of your photographic memory.”

Her hands had snuck along your hips, pulling you close enough for her head to rest on your chest. “It is… What do you think— I’m some sort of creep?”

“I find it funny that when you’re mad at me… Your first instinct is to draw me naked.” You snicker.

She hummed against the center pocket of your overalls. “I wasn’t necessarily mad— I was just… Sad.” Ellie looked up at you with a pout on her lips, batting her big, green eyes at you in a way that compelled you. “Abby is so much more than me— fuck, she’s financially worth more than me.” She inhaled, deeply. “What made me upset was that I understood why you’d choose her… She has a great career—“

Interrupting her, you plotted your lips against hers until her reciprocating was less confused and more enthused. Your finger dragged along her scalp, gripping slightly. When you pulled away, she leaned forward for more. “I don’t wanna talk about her anymore.” Your thumb grazed over her eyebrow, ingesting her soft features. The freckles that littered over the bridge of her nose, the subtle cracks in her lips. “I’ve been waiting to get you all to myself for days now— I refuse to waste it away because of some girl.”

“Some girl, huh?”

“Mhm.” You hummed. “I missed that cover of Keane that you had sung earlier… You think you could play it for me?” You pursed your lips, and she pulled your hips closer to her, pulling you between her legs.

Ellie peered up at you with yearning irises. “I can play whatever you want.”

A giggle escaped from your lips before you plotted them against hers once more, pulling her up to her feet. You pulled her to the bedroom, where her guitar was thrown over the messy, unmade bed.

She propped herself on the edge of the bed, and you plopped onto the ground so you could properly be her audience. You hugged your legs to your chest, looking up at her with a level of awe that you haven’t had in a while. Reflections of your past looked back at you—Ellie gripping the neck of her instrument, strumming the metal chords that’s been with her for years. Those chords had witnessed the glimmering eyes you were giving her; at a much younger age, before shit went haywire.

The smooth tone of Somewhere Only We Know glided through your ears, ignoring the chords she lagged on, or messed up because it didn’t matter. When she finished, Ellie barely got the chance to look at you before you leaped up to kiss her again. Gently, you pulled the guitar from her hands, leaning it up against the bed, tethering to her as if she were a wave crashing along an eroding boulder.

To love her freely was a weight lifted off your shoulders. It was a rush of water sprinting up the sand within a storm. A breaching of magma exploding from the mouth of a volcano—a expression of a release of passion. The inevitable.

No more Cat. No more Abby. But, besides the good sex, and the warmth of each other’s genuine embrace, and the comfort of knowing each other through and through… What else was there?

taglist: @autisticintr0vert , @liasxeatt , @hopingforgoodblogs , @lia-winther , @macaroni676 , @tobiotruther , @anewkindofloove , @fatbootymuncher , @maiaska , @culuvr , @0phantom0 , @onlinelesbo , @bbnbhm , @lovelaymedown , @lamorenita , @scatapple , @elliewilliamsblunt , @goddessofchaosss , @mikellie , @emmanetalias , @sevyscoven , @lluvbk , @saturnhas82moons , @na0koz , @violetszn , @prwttiestbunny , @superbscissorsdeanexpert , @iheartclairo66 , @avalovesmus1c , @flowerl1lly , @meow4510 , @222celestial , @sawaagyapong

[devildomditzy]

You’re late for your date.

Like, Late late.

And of course, if the situation were switched, you wouldn’t have minded.

In fact, you would have expected it.

But you are you and Mammon is Mammon.

So of course, his leniency for being ignored is next to zero.

He leans against the front door inside the common room of the House of Lamentation. And he looks at his watch.

4:00

4:00

You’re an hour late.

And of course, Mammon tried to play it cool at first, swiping through his D.D.D with an unimpressed look on his face. He’s cool. Nonchalant. His brothers can’t know he’s internally freaking out;

Because he’s totally not.

Of course not. No way. Not over you of all people.

But he can’t hide the jitters so graciously given to him by his nervous system.

“Are you being stood up?”, Satan calls from a nearby armchair in the room, not bothering to look up from what he’s reading.

“I ain’t being stood up! They’ll be here, they’re just…busy. Yeah, that’s it. They’re busy.”

Asmo lays upside down on the couch, scrolling on his own D.D.D.

“Of course they stood him up, they’d much rather go on a date with mwah”, he gloats from his position.

“Oi! Shut up will ya?!”, Mammon screams back, now standing rigidly, hands balled up at his side in anger, leaning into the conversation, ready to make it an argument.

As he takes another breath to get a word out, Satan cuts him off.

“Where were you going anyway?”

“Yeah, where?”, Asmo brightly echos back.

Mammon sighs, body relaxing as he slouches back into his leaning position.

“We were supposed to go to Devil Coast ‘bout an hour ago. But of course MC ain’t got a bone of urgency in their body.”

He grunts, frustratingly looking down at his D.D.D. Twenty-five messages. No replies. What was up with ya?

Asmo cackles wildly, “Maybe they forgot about you, hm?”

Mammon’s face begins to heat up with anger.

“Listen here you little-”

Satan once again cuts him off. “We all know there’s no way they’d forget about Mammon. He’s much too loud”, he says, turning his page.

“Would y’all shuddup? Jeez”, Mammon’s tone becomes lethal in a way his brothers know they should stop pushing, so they do, shooting each other concerned glances.

“Have they texted you back at all?”, questions Satan.

Mammon sighs, “No, not yet.”

He looks down at his phone, scrolling through your message thread.

2:50 PM

Mammon: Yo! Ready to go?

Mammon: I’m by the front door, I’ll be waitin’ for ya.

Mammon: Remember to bring your coat ya dummy, cause I ain’t letting’ you borrow mine this time!

Mammon: Okay

Mammon: Maybe I would let ya borrow it if you really needed it and were shivering and stuff and needed The Great Mammon’s help to warm ya up.

Mammon: But you gotta say please 😜

2:57 PM

Mammon: Alright, where are ya?

Mammon: Thought we agreed on 3:00

Mammon: Do ya need more time gettin’ ready?

Mammon: Tryin’ to look good for your first, huh?

Mammon: I’ll wait a little longer for ya.

3:10 PM

Mammon: Hurry it up, will ya?

Mammon: I understand wantin’ to look nice, but it’s ten after! Ten!

Mammon: Ya know, you’re the only human that keeps me waitin’ like this!

3:30 PM

Mammon: Okay, yer bein’ kinda ridiculous right now.

Mammon: I mean come on, ya gotta date with Mammon. THE Mammon. Ya know how lucky you are?

Mammon: Alotta people would kill to be in your position.

3:35 PM

Mammon: But of course I wouldn’t go with them. I wouldn’t go on a date with anyone but you, okay?

Mammon: That’s why you need to get yer ass down here!

3:40 PM

Mammon: You’ve got some nerve makin’ THE Mammon wait around for ya!

3:45 PM

Mammon: Whatever, isn’t like I wanted to go out with ya anyway.

Mammon: I was doin’ this for you, ya know.

Mammon: Why would I wanna be see around with some lousy human?

Mammon: What am I, yer babysitter?

3:55 PM

Mammon: Look, I didn’t mean that, alright?

Mammon: Please come down.

“Are you sure they’re not asleep?”, Satan ponders curiously.

“Nah, I don’t think so. We’ve been talkin’ about this for weeks”, Mammon says defeatedly, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck.

“Are you sure they’re okay?”, Asmo asks, voice laced with concern.

“Okay?!”, Mammon shoots his attention to the avatar of lust. “Wah- what- why wouldn’t they be okay?”

Asmo looks around sheepishly, bringing his nails up to his lips to bite them, something he never does unless he’s either A) super stressed or B) covering something up.

Mammon steps towards his brother, anger beginning to boil, knowing what his mannerisms mean. “Whadda you know that I don’t?! C’mon, spill it!”

The urgency in his voice compels Asmo to speak, knowing how sensitive his brother is when it comes to you.

“Well… I promised them I wouldn’t tell you…”

“Tell me what?!”

His brother remains quiet for a moment.

“Asmo…”, Mammon threatens dangerously.

“Ugh, okay I’ll tell you”, Asmo sighs, mumbling quickly under his breath, “MC, please forgive me!”

Mammon stares at his brother impatiently as he starts,

“Well, MC came to me the other day after class. I knew something was wrong because there were tears in their beautiful eyes”, Asmo lays his hand across his forehead as if he were faint.

“Skip the dramatics and keep talkin’!”

“Okay, sheesh. So MC came to me and told me they haven’t been feeling very good lately.”

“What, are they sick or somthin’?”

“No no, nothing like that. More like, their brain feels sick? They said they don’t really know why, but they’ve been feeling bad about themselves lately - which I told them was totally ridiculous! AND I offered them a full makeover WITH facial and they denied it, but that always makes ME feel better.”

Asmo pouts before continuing, “Plus, with all the extra work Lucifer and Lord Diavolo have been giving them with the student council, they said they feel like they’re under so much pressure, they’re gonna crack soon.”

“Why ain’t they tellin’ me any of this!?”

“Because,” Asmo says annoyed, “they don’t want to upset you!”

“What? That’s ridiculous!”, exclaims Mammon.

Asmo matches his volume, “I know right?! That’s what I told them! But they said you were so excited about your date that they didn’t wanna ruin it- hey, where are you going!?”, Asmo yells as Mammon walks out of the room.

“Where’d ya think! I’m gonna go talk to MC!”, Mammon yells back.

So that’s why you weren’t there? You’ve been hurting? For awhile it seems, and you didn’t tell him?

He’s gotta admit, he’s a little hurt. But he knows this isn’t about him right now.

It’s about you.

Mammon didn’t know he would be nervous to see you until he was standing in front of your door. What if says the wrong thing and makes it worse? What if he can’t help you at all? What if he made you feel this way?

Okay. He realizes with that last one that he’s spiraling. Time to fix this.

He lifts a shaky hand to your door, knocking three times rhythmically - the one you know is his knock. And only his.

He cringes when he hears your weak voice choke out a small “come in”.

The room is dark; All the lights are out and it’d be pitch black save for the window next to your bed, illuminating your form, a shivering lump hiding under your blanket.

He lets out a sigh as he walks further in. He should have known about this. He should have been able to pick up on this. Boyfriend of the year, huh?

You sniffle as you pop your head out from under your hiding place.

“H-hey Mams”, you hiccup, giving away the tears that still stream down your face. “I-I’m sorry I ruined our date. I should have texted you, I-I just…”

Mammon walks till he’s leaning right over you, hands on his hips. “Uh-uh, I don’t care about that right now. What I do care about is you, mainly why didn’t ya tell me you were feelin’ like this before our date?”

The tone is his voice gives way to his own hurt, and you can’t help but start to cry again at the sound of it, knowing it’s your fault.

“Shh, shhh,” he quickly sits down on the bed next to you and puts an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a hug. “I ain’t mad at ya or anything, I just wanna know why.”

He knows why; Asmo told him. But, he wants to hear it from you.

You pull your arm out from under the blanket (and Mammon’s hold) to wipe your face. “I’m fine really, it’s just”, you sniffle, but Mammon cuts you off.

“Ya clearly not, c’mon MC”, he says, oceanic eyes meeting yours and - it’s hard not to crack under that gaze. “Tell me what’s the matter, please.”

Mammon stares at you in silence, signaling that it’s your turn to talk, and he would quietly listen. As long as you trust him, he’d always listen to whatever it is you have to say, no matter what.

You sit up a little straighter, pulling your arm out from under the comforter to wipe your tears. Composing yourself, you look into his eyes. His face softens at the sight.

Clearing your throat you start, “I don’t know. I’ve just been so overwhelmed.”

“Overwhelmed with what? All that work Lucifer and Lord Diavolo keep pushin’ on you? Tell ‘em to shove it!”

You shoot him a dangerous look. “We both know I can’t do that.”

“Sure ya can, I do it all the time!”, Mammon proudly declares, making you smile brightly and chuckle.

“And you always end up hanging from the rafters”, you laugh.

“I never said I got away with it”, he replies, smiling just as brightly back.

Your giggle peters out as you begin to speak again. “I’ve got so much more work to do and so little time to do it”, you frown. “And I’ve been pushing myself really hard! And- I dunno. I guess it’s taking a toll on me.”

“Yeah, Asmo said you were havin’ it pretty rough.”

At the mention of Asmo’s name, you shoot upwards in shock.

“He told you?!”

“Course he did. Did ya forget which ones of us you can trust with secrets?”.

You grumble in anger. “That little - UGH! I’m gonna kill him.”

“Let’s put murder on the back burner,” Mammon says, pushing your shoulder to lay you back down in your slouching position. “How’s ‘bout ya tell me what’s really bothering’ ya and I’ll help ya threaten the primadonna later, yeah?”.

You give him the side eye, but collapse under his gaze. Curse those eyes! You swear he can put you under some kind of truth spell with those things.

“Fine. I guess… it’s just… I…”

“Any day now, Treasure.”

You make an exasperated noise and glare at him. “You know it’s not fair to use that word on me when I’m upset.”

“When you’re upset at me. And yer not upset at me right now, right? Please say right”, he finishes his sentence with a sense of urgency, now worried that he could be the cause.

He’s wracking his brain for anything he could have said or done recently that made you upset. Are you mad at him cause he teased you the other day when you did your makeup differently. He told ya he only did it cause he liked it. Are you mad because he cheated off of you in potions class? Well, he’s your first, dammit! You should be helping him anyways. That’s what a loyal subject does.

“No, no it’s not you. I just haven’t been feeling very good about myself lately.”

“What! That’s ridiculous!”, he shouts and - he’s trying to be helpful in his own way, but his raising voice makes you wince. He notices, quickly shifting his tone. “I mean, what’s there not to like, doll.”

You smile to yourself at the nickname. He’s trying his hardest to be sweet. You should try your hardest to let him in on your thoughts a bit too.

“I don’t like the way I look. I’m not pretty, I’m not cool, I don’t even know what you see in me.”

“Don’t be dumb, MC!”

“Mammon, look at you! You’re you. You’re one of the seven demon lords of hell, you’re a whole model, and you’re one of the coolest guys I’ve ever met - Devildom, Human Realm, or celestial! You know you’re hot, so I’m worried…”, you trail off quietly.

“Worried bout what, MC?”, he asks at your hesitance, worry evident in his eyes. He places his hand on top of yours on the bed without breaking eye contact.

“…I’m worried that one day you’ll realize you’re too good for me and leave.”

“Leave? Whaddaya talkin’ about? How would I leave? I live here too ya know”, he says, poking your nose.

“You know what I mean, Mammon”, you say swiping his hand away from your face. “You’ll leave me.”

Mammon rolls his eyes, waving a hand towards your direction dismissively. “Oh yeah, I’ll leave you alright. That’s exactly why I was waitin’ for ya at the door for an hour to take ya on a date. Cause I wanna leave ya soooo bad. Do ya see how ridiculous you sound?”.

You sigh, eyes looking towards the bedsheets as you play with his hand that has found its way back to yours. You don’t look up as you speak. “See, I didn’t even come down for our date. Or text you. I just moped around up here. Im a terrible partner. And I’m sure you’re gonna realize it soon.”

Mammon makes a ‘tch’ noise with his tongue, before grabbing you by the chin and making you look into his eyes, making you gasp in surprise.

“And ya think I’m such a great boyfriend, huh? I’m just the best? The guy who spends his free time at the casino runnin’ up scams? The guy who used ta blame his screw ups on ya to get outta trouble? Yeah MC, I’m a real peach. Cream of the crop if ya ask me”, he lectures, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“What are you trying to say”, you question, grabbing his wrist to take his hand off your chin, to which he carefully obliges.

“I’m sayin’ that I’m not so great myself. But you still love me, right?

“Yeah, and?”

“Exactly. I’ve got flaws, we’ve all got flaws, even father had flaws, clearly”, he mumbles the last part under his breath.

“I wouldn’t stop lovin’ ya over any dumb thing like looks or status. In fact, I can’t think of a single reason why I’d stop lovin’ ya, ya dumb human. Sorry ‘boutcha luck, but yer stuck with The Great Mammon forever”, he jokes, ruffling your hair.

“What about when I die? I’m human, you’ll outlive me by a long shot. Don’t you want to be with someone, I don’t know, with the same…life span as you?”

“Nah, I’ll still love your dumbass skeleton when you’re a stupid ghost.”

“How romantic.”

“Listen. My point is I’m yours and you’re mine. That ain’t changin’, alright? And I’m not mad ‘bout our date, we’ll reschedule it. Just next time, ya could let me know before I stand by the front door for over an hour like a jackass. My brothers got enough to make fun of me over already.”

He pulls a little smile out of you with that last one.

“And about all that student council junk Lucifer and Lord Diavolo keep thrown’ on ya, I’ll talk to them. Maybe they’ll let you divide it up between all of us, alright?”.

You sniffle, wiping your face once more and shaking your head in an affirmative nod. “Sounds good. Thank you, Mams. I’m sorry.”

“C’mon now, quit yer apologizin’. It’s fine. You apologize for somethin’ like that again, I’m tellin’ Beel you ate his pudding from Madam Screams.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, I’ll dare alright, ‘n then some”, he jokes, tackling you to the bed. “Why don’t we watch a movie or somethin’. You gotta make up the lost date time you owe me.”

You laugh at his antics, agreeing. “Okay, okay. I’m on it.”

As you sit in front of your shared DVD collection to pick tonight’s selection, you throw your voice over your shoulder.

“Hey Mams?”

“Yeah?”, he asks from his spot on your bed, scrolling on his D.D.D.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime, Treasure.”

[uyuforu]

Hi! When you draw a solar/lunar return/natal chart on astro.com, what asteroids would you recommend to include? Apart from the ones you get if you choose the "Astrodienst w. asteroids“ drawing style. I‘ve been ignoring them for years and I feel like I‘m missing out lmao, but having to type the asteroid numbers out is really bothersome to me 😭💀 Thank you in advance <3. Also sorry if you have a post where you talked about something similar. I tried to look before asking but I couldn’t find anything

I have a list of all asteroids I have, and depending on what you wanna see, you can check those here ^^

Romance Asteroids

° Juno (3) (marriage and soulmate)

° Destinn (6583) (destiny)

° Groom (5129) (groom)

° Boda (1487) (marriage)

° Briede (19029) (bride)

° Union (1585) (how do we meet fs)

° Eros (433) (kinks and sex)

° Kiss (8267) (kiss style)

° Lovelock (51663) (how do we fall in love)

° Cupido (763) (how do we fall in love)

° Valentine (447) (cute, pure, tender love)

° Amor (1221) (passionate love)

° Alma (390) (Soulmates/ Twin Flames/ Karmics/ Soul Links)

° Alinda (887) (kissing, making out)

Fame Asteroids

° Fama (408) (fame, rumors, gossips)

° Europa (52) (fame and recognition)

° Mireille (594) (easily gaining people’s love and admiration)

° Glo (3267) (glowing shining, attention)

° Lumier (775) (where do you shine)

° Populus (8647) (being popular and well known)

° Musa (600) (inspiring other)

° Starr (4150) (shining, standing out)

° Zeus (5731) (gaining fame)

° Varuna (amazing and incredible fame) (20000)

° Fan (151590)

Money Asteroids

°Abundantia (151) (having a lot of money, abundance and inheritance)

° Mony (7782) (how can we obtain money)

° Fortuna (19)

° Tyche (258)

° Banks (13956)

° Gold (4955)

° Midas (1981)

Spiritual Asteroids

° Teller (5006) (Tarot abilities)

° Apollo (1862) (talents)

° Kalchas (4138) (divination talents)

° Horus (1924) (linked to 3rd eye)

° Arrokoth (486958) (astrology talents)

° Estrella (11697) (shining, beauty and talents of astrology)

° Merlin (2598) (magic and prophetic abilities)

° Spirit (37452) (seeing spirits and entities and communicating with them)

° Telephus (5264) (linked to telepathy)

° Aura (1488) (Ability to see the real aura or intentions of people)

° Karma (3811)

° Erda (894) (our past life)

° Spirit (37452) (our spirit guys)

Talents Asteroids

° Dones (21965) (our natural gift)

° Probitas (902) (being good and excellent)

° Carrera (3050) (our career)

° Industria (389) (our career)

° webb (3041) (the internet)

Psychology & Medical Talents Asteroids

° Hylonome (10370) (psychologist abilities)

° Makhaon (3063) (talent for medicine and healing)

° Anahita (270) (creative and therapeutic talents)

Writing & Communication Asteroids

° Calliope (22) (writing and singing)

° Erato (62) (writing poetry, romance and erotic matters)

° Biblialexa (51895) (writing or reading books)

° Murray (941) (excellent communicator, writer, speeches, etc)

° Elatus (31834) (good at speaking in public, amazing speeches)

° Kleopatra (216) (being loved and admired by our communicating skills)

° Mnemosyne (57) (good communicator, good at telling stories, good at acting with our voice)

Acting Asteroids

° Thalia (23) (ability to entertain and comedy)

° Lumiere (775) (acting abilities)

° Melpomene (18) (acting abilities and dark writing)

° Actor (12238) (being an actor)

° Mnemosyne (57) (good communicator, good at telling stories, good at acting with our voice)

° Fantomas (242492) (Acting skills)

Singing & Musical Asteroids

° Cantor (16246) (sings a lot and talent in singing)

° Harmonia (40) (singing abilities)

° Singer (10698) (singing abilities and talent)

° Terpsichore (81) (dancing and singing)

° Piani (10573) (related to piano and playing instruments)

° Euterpe (27) (musical talent)

° Echo (60) (beautiful voice)

° Melpomene (18) (Muse of Singing)

Painting & Cooking Asteroids

° Pintar (33103) (painting)

° Van Gogh (4457) (painting)

° Picasso (4221) (painting)

° Cook (3061) (cooking abilities)

° Baker (2549) (baking abilities)

Sexual Asteroids

° Eros (433) (kinks & sex)

° 1988 XB (7753) (extreme sexual activity)

° 1996 TL66 (15874) (discharge, squirting)

° 2002 XW93 (78799) (group sex)

° 2005 PQ21 (134210) (porn, extreme sexual activity)

° 2010 EN65 (316179) (discharge, orgasm)

° 2000 CO104 (999004) (orgasm, ecstasy)

° Alinda (887) (rough, passionate sex)

° Ignatius (3562) (our kinks, the one we keep as secret)

° Kama (1387) (how we have sex, our sex style)

° Lust (4386) (our sex style, what turn us on, our sexual desires)

Children & Home Asteroids

° Child (4580) (inner child)

° DNA (55555) (our DNA, children)

° House (4950) (our home)

Hoping it can help! You can also check those on other types of chart ^^

[zreamy]

things i know that i can't have (teaser)

jake's life was hard enough before he fell for you—balancing uni, football, and being a good christian son. in some cruel twist of fate, sleeping with you has only made things harder—and, according to sunghoon (and scripture), damned him to hell the first time he thought about it.

genres: college au, (established) fwb to lovers, smut, fluff, angst

teaser warnings: minors dni, smut (yn sends nudes and jake jerks off)..........extremely dramatic (jake is going through it basically)

teaser word count: 1,125 (chose peace)

fic word count: probably around 35k???

post date: apr 3 !!!

message from zo: yeah uh huh zreamy finally finished a jake fic.. yeah uh huh (i say as i'm still writing this fic.. im affirming #lawofassumption ..sigh whatever whatever) the wip page is literally cursed !!! it is it is it is .. anyway.. jake nation will always win accept me please jake nation.......

r/Christianity 

u/footballfan1511 | 2m

How bad is premarital sex, really? (Need quick answers!!!)

I (20M) have been having sex with my friend (20F) for three weeks now. I knew it was wrong, but she’s everything (very hot, totally, completely sexy), so I didn’t care. BUT I just saw this verse (Matthew 5:28-30) and apparently it’s a sin just to THINK about it??? 

The last time we did ‘it’ was this morning before church (sorry), and I was supposed to go over there tonight, but I’ve been freaking out about that verse all day…….. idk what to do but I really like her, so much, and I still want this, with her. Please give me advice .. 

Every Thursday night. Ten p.m. sharp. Almost no exceptions. You call Jake, talking shit for as long as it takes one thing to lead to another. Tonight is an exception—you had friends over, rescheduled for midnight. Jake lies in bed, hair still damp from his post-football training shower, counting each minute as it passes. 23:55. His leg is shaking. 23:56. He sits up straight, jolting as if waking from a nightmare, nerves sharp and restless as his thumbs fly over the keyboard, texting Sunghoon. 

Jake: What about phone sex?

Jake: Like if I don’t think about her while I do it? 

Sunghoon’s groan reaches Jake through the thin walls of their shared flat. Drawn-out and long-suffering. Read receipt. 23:57. Three dots. 

Hoon: I can’t tell you what to think, but if you’re asking me then you probably alr know

Hoon: Also..??? Do you think you can jack your shit on the phone without thinking about her 😭😭😭

Jake snorts despite himself, much too loud for the quiet. Echoing as if even the room disapproves. He closes his eyes, shakes his head. Palm to his cheek. A low smack, half-joking, half-sincere. Guilt snakes around him, a hot, unwelcome coil that won’t ease. Jake gets the sense that the choice ahead — to answer or not to answer — might drastically skew his life one way or another. 

A minute early. 23:59. Your name on his screen. Phone humming in his hold, pulse lashing his throat. On the other end of the line, before he has the chance to weigh his options, you dead the call—making his decision for him. 

Jake’s heart stumbles, clumsy in his chest. He thinks of the verse, sharp and prickly—crown of thorns on heavy head. He has been thinking about it since Saturday morning. Extra training with Team B, avoiding you, six-thirty wake-ups to join Sunghoon at the rink. Ice-cold mornings melting into afternoons. No matter what he tries, it always comes back. Lustful intent, adultery, with her. And despite his best efforts to pray for rapture, Thursday has come, and Jake has lived to see it. 

A minute late. 00:01. Your name on his screen. Hovering thumb. He knows that phone sex and sex-sex aren’t the same thing, Matthew didn’t even have a phone—but if he could’ve, and he could’ve known you, and you wanted him? Jake sighs. He should answer. If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off, and throw it away. The words sink their senile claws into him, holding on for dear, frail life. His phone stills in his palm. 

You don’t call again. You never have. If this phone call is going to happen, it’s up to Jake to make it so. This knowledge and its weight multiply by the second. An itch he doesn’t try to scratch, knowing he won’t be able to reach it. Another agonising nine minutes trudge along. 00:10. His phone buzzes on his chest, and he knows it’s you before he looks. Two texts.

YN: Said you’d stay up for me Yunie :((( 

YN: You don’t think I’m worth the wait?

Reading your messages through the notifications, he’s having a hard time convincing himself not to reply. Not to tell you he waited, that of course, you’re worth it. His guilt loosens, making space for his desire to reassure you—he cannot rule out the possibility that this desire outweighs his guilt. Silence settles in his room, stretched thin and strange around him. He sighs. 

YN: Attachments: 2 images

YN: Wanted to hear your reaction, but you can tell me when you’re up ig.

YN: Night, loser :P 

Butterflies, sudden and bright—teenaged. Foolish. Tucked under the notification, the photos dare him to look. His curiosity clicks it, and the first picture fills the screen, yanking his breath from his lungs. 

Most of your face is cut off, showing only your lips—pouty and glossy and pretty. Pulling at him in a way he’s not quite equipped to name. This would be enough for him, an innocent selfie, you and those pretty eyes, that smile. More than enough—pulse quickening just thinking about it. His gaze lingers on your lips, stuck for a while. Then, unintentionally, his eyes flick lower. Hair fanned over your pillow, breasts peeking out from under black lace. Fuck. A sight he’s seen a million times, but somehow, each time feels like the first. Jake gulps. Holy shit. He ignores the throbbing in his pants, how much tighter they are—he won’t give in. No matter how badly he’s craving it. He’s stronger than that. With his eyes, he traces your lips. Ogles until his screen dims, locking the picture away again.

Picture two. Fuck. You on your stomach, grainy in your webcam. Arched back, black lace panties over your hips. Fuck. The lingerie, the shape of your body.. Seeing you like this, so perfect and all for him—it’s taking every last shred of his self-control not to get in his car and rush over to you. Want, need, tugs at him. A tether he can’t break. His phone locks. 

Enough is enough. He drags his feet all the way back to the shower, oppressive cold water hitting him. Doing absolutely nothing for his revolting need. This isn’t working—not the water, not the attempt at self-control. Not when he’s already hard and aching against his stomach. Soft breasts. Round ass. Wet—his hand moves instinctively, forehead resting on the cool tiles. He closes his eyes, your body clear in the dark. Full lips. Arched back. He’s breathless when he finishes, head bowed as heat coils low in his stomach. The water carries his release away. Nose crinkled as it swirls around the drain, cringing at the sight—guilt, shame curling around him.

Again, he dries off, pulls on clean pyjamas, and drags his feet to bed. On his side, he closes his eyes, your body like a brand behind his eyelids, thoughts filling the quiet in his room. Exhaustion however, is its own kind of mercy, and eventually, pulls him under.

[tiramisuucakeee]

MINECRAFT KITTEN ★

( high school! reader x highschool gamer! niki )

IN WHICH: niki, always immersed in games, teasing you for forgetting your minecraft cat, couldn’t help but notice you had a new friend — someone who wasn’t him. but it wasn’t until one night at a festival, standing beside you under the fireworks, that he finally realized something. and for once, he didn’t need a screen to understand what was going on.

read more !

a loud screech echoed through your headphones as you watched niki's avatar fall off the cliff, crashing to the ground and losing all of their health in the process.

"ain't no way-" you started, but he quickly cut you off, telling you to shut up, not in the mood for any teasing. it was 3:57 a.m. on a school night, but that was the least of your concerns.

"this is all your fault, i told you i didn’t like this world," niki grumbled, leaning back in his gaming chair, his eyes scanning the big screen as he re-entered the world.

"zero game in minecraft, zero game in real life," you mumbled under your breath, but having a microphone connected to your earphones was absolutely no help, since he heard every word you said.

"you're so not funny, i get tons," niki clicked his tongue, watching the village come into view as he sprinted toward it.

"yeah, tons of bad grades," you laughed, taking your eyes off the screen for a moment. a soft click echoed from outside, and you noticed a light flicker on from beneath your door, casting a faint glow across the floor.

as he was about to curse you out, the sound of footsteps creaked through your house. you quickly lowered the screen’s brightness and muttered, "my mom’s awake, i’ll see you tomorrow, niki, bye!"

"but wait, what about our cat-" he started, but you disconnected from the discord call, your modded avatar vanishing from the minecraft world he’d created. now the only thing he had left to do, was to sleep, as you were gone.

the next day came pretty quickly, during lunch, you made your way to his classroom. your found him sitting at his desk, hunched over, eyes glued to his nintendo switch. he barely noticed as you slid into the seat in front of him, pulling out your lunch and setting it down.

"so, you really dipped on me last night?" he said without looking up, moving the controller of his switch with a little more force than necessary, as he started fighting a random huge pokémon with his small pikachu in pokémon sword and shield.

"my mom was awake," you replied, popping the lid off your tupperware and stabbing a piece of meat. "you know how it is."

he clicked his tongue but finally glanced up at you. "yeah, yeah, whatever. still can’t believe you left me hanging like that. our cat was waiting for us, too."

you raised an eyebrow. "so? he barely even likes you. not even my cat in real life likes your annoying ass." you extended the fork with food towards him, as he let you feed him. when niki was concentrated in his game, he could shut out the whole entire world, and completely forget about anything. that was the reason why your mom always packed you extra food for him, knowing you were the only one who got him to pay a little less attention to the screen.

you pulled the fork back, watching as niki chewed without a care in the world, still immersed in the game. his focus was intense, and the soft noises of pikachu screaming an attack was the only sound that seemed to break through his concentration.

"you're not even listening, are you?" you teased lightly, watching as he barely glanced at you before nodding in acknowledgment. his thumbs were a blur against the controller.

he smirked, clearly unfazed. "i’m listening. you were saying something about how a little demon cat doesn't like me." his tone was casual, like he was just humoring you. but there was that hint of curiosity in his voice, the kind that meant he was listening more than he let on.

“mr. whiskers is nice,” you scoffed playfully, changing the subject. "anyway, i was going to tell you that there's this festival coming up, since tuesday of next week is a free day," you said, trying to sound casual. "and a friend of mine, invited me to go with him and his friends."

niki didn’t take his eyes off the screen, but you could tell his attention was piqued by the way his fingers slowed on the controller. he didn't exactly say anything right away, so you continued, trying to sound casual. "everyone is talking about how it'll be fun, so it's gonna be pretty packed. i know you don’t like extremely crowded places but you should join us."

"who’s this friend?" niki asked, finally glancing at you, his voice sounding just a bit sharper than usual. it wasn’t so much that he was interested, but more like he was curious in his own way.

"oh, remember, i’m the manager of the school boy’s volleyball team?" you said, leaning back a bit. "that’s how i met the captain, won- i mean, jungwon. he’s nice. a year older, but-“

"won?" niki interrupted, his tone suddenly flat, as if the nickname itself had an edge to it. he looked at you then, eyes narrowing just a fraction. his attention on the game was gone now, replaced by something else. "you guys close or something?”

you raised an eyebrow, sensing his change in mood. "close? no. i mean, i don’t know, he's just... he's just a friend. we're all friends, won, jake, kai, taehyun and i, you know. i hang out with the team often." you tried to brush it off, but you couldn't help the feeling that niki wasn’t as casual as he made it seem. it was like you’d hit a nerve.

niki didn’t respond immediately. his fingers paused mid-game, and his gaze lingered on you for a few moments. the air between you two shifted, and even though he tried to mask it, you could tell he wasn’t thrilled at hearing you talk about another guy.

"so, are you going?" he asked, a little more distant than before, but you knew that tone. it was his way of pretending not to care. still, there was something about it that made you smile to yourself. he didn’t like you talking about other guys, but he wasn’t going to admit it.

"i want to," you replied, shrugging it off. "i’ll see if it’s actually worth going, he said there will be fireworks, and different kinds of games, and a lots of food stalls."

niki didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t argue either. instead, he gave a half shrug, his eyes flicking back to the screen. "i’ll think about going too," he said, and even though his words were dismissive, you knew he was quietly processing it.

you let out a quiet laugh, not sure if you were teasing him or just amused at how easily he shut down the subject. before you could comment, he stood up suddenly, stretching his arms out like he had something else on his mind. "come on," he said, his usual aloofness creeping back in. "let’s go to the vending machines. i’m thirsty."

you raised an eyebrow at him, watching as he walked toward the classroom’s door without another word. "you know, you’re acting pretty weird right now," you said, following him down the hallway. "it’s just a guy."

niki gave you a side glance, but his expression was unreadable again. "i’m not acting weird," he muttered, as if that would somehow make it true. "i don’t care about your other friends, i’m just thirsty."

you couldn’t help but smile to yourself, knowing exactly what was going on. niki was reserved, always keeping his emotions tightly locked up, while you were, well, the complete opposite. a social butterfly who loved to stir things up and keep things light. but you knew him well enough to sense that he cared more than he let on, even if he was never going to say it out loud.

two days later, you were at volleyball practice, chatting with the team during a break. the gym buzzed with the sound of sneakers squeaking on the polished floor, the occasional thud of a ball being spiked, and the light banter between the guys. jungwon, the captain and libero, had just tried some ridiculous move, a roll across the floor in a desperate attempt to save the ball, and you couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"wow, amazing, won," you teased, grinning. "really thought you were going to pull off something like that, huh?"

jungwon groaned, rubbing the back of his neck as he stood up, his face slightly flushed. "it was supposed to be a dive, but the ball wasn't where i thought it was." he shot you a sideways glance. "i thought you were supposed to be the manager, not my personal critic."

"hey, i'm just helping you improve your style," you said, playfully flicking his shoulder. the guys around you, jake, kai, and taehyun, all chuckled, having seen the whole thing unfold.

"style? that was more like a disaster," kai, the middle blocker, teased, tossing the ball to taehyun.

jake laughed too. "yeah, but i'll give him credit, he looked really elegant rolling around on the floor."

jungwon threw his hands up in defeat. "you're all jerks, you know that?" but the smile on his face gave him away.

as the team continued to joke around, you stayed close to the group, leaning against the bleachers. you could feel jungwon inch a little closer as he joked back, and you teased him some more, throwing playful comments his way. it was all casual, but you couldn't help noticing how natural it felt being around the guys, especially with jungwon close enough that his shoulder brushed yours every now and then. since you started being a manager for the team, he had gotten really protective over you, almost like an older brother.

just then, the doors to the gym swung open with a loud creak, and niki walked in, his eyes scanning the room. as soon as he saw you, his gaze darkened, and he made a beeline for the entrance to the court, his hands stuffed into his dark hoodie pockets, his expression closed off.

you immediately spotted him and froze for a second. your heart did that funny little skip it always did when you saw him, but you quickly forced it back down, trying to play it cool. "hey," you called out, waving as you approached him. "you never come to practice, what's up?"

niki glanced at you, but his eyes quickly darted to the group of guys around you. you could tell he wasn't exactly thrilled by the scene. "nothing serious," he muttered, but his voice was a little more clipped than usual. "just wanted to ask you something."

you raised an eyebrow. "what's going on? you look like you've seen a ghost."

niki didn't answer right away. his gaze flicked over to jungwon and the others for a second before his eyes landed back on you. "you told me you'd go to the game store with me today," he said, his tone low but definitely a little frustrated. "i left you a hundred messages, but you completely forgot."

you blinked, momentarily thrown off by his bluntness. "oh, crap," you muttered, cursing under your breath. "i'm so sorry, i totally spaced and forgot to tell you about staying later. i got caught up here with practice, we’re meeting another school tomorrow and-"

"of course," niki interrupted, his voice flat. "it's fine." but you could tell it wasn't fine. it never was with niki. when he said it was fine, that usually meant he was irritated and pretending it wasn't a big deal.

you winced, guilt crawling up your spine. "hey, i really am sorry, okay? i didn't mean to leave you hanging, i promise i’ll make it up to you."

there was a moment of silence, then niki sighed, looking around at the guys. he seemed to hesitate for a second before he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. "whatever. just don't forget again."

you nodded quickly, catching the faint flicker of irritation in his eyes. "i won't. promise. how about we walk back home together alright? i’ll buy you something from the convenience store. practice ends in about fifteen minutes."

niki glanced at the gym’s double doors, then back at you. "fine," he said shortly, but there was a hint of resignation in his voice, like he was done with the whole thing but didn't want to make it a bigger issue. "i’ll wait for you."

you gave him a quick smile, trying to make up for it. "thanks for understanding, niki." he didn't respond, but the tension in his posture seemed to ease just a little as he turned to head up to the highest bleachers. your eyes followed close behind, glancing back at the guys, who were still laughing and messing around.

later that week, friday evening, you were sitting at home, boredom creeping in as you scrolled through your phone. without much else to do, you hopped onto discord and checked your friends list, only to see niki’s activity status showing he’d been on genshin impact for the last 14 hours.

you couldn’t help but laugh a little, shaking your head at how dedicated, or maybe just obsessed, he could get over things. the thought of him locking himself in his room all day just to farm for a character was both amusing and slightly concerning.

without a second thought, you tapped on his profile and hit the video call button. it rang for a few moments before niki’s face appeared on screen, his dark hair slightly messy, eyes half-lidded, and an unmistakable paleness to his skin.

"hey," you said, raising an eyebrow. "what’s going on with you? you look like you’ve been through a war zone."

niki groaned, clearly annoyed at the interruption, but there was a slight rasp in his voice when he answered. "i’m sick," he muttered, sounding a little congested. "i already told you, didn’t feel like going to school today." his face scrunched up as he wiped his nose, clearly not in the best shape.

you squinted at him through the screen. he looked like he wasn’t exaggerating. his usual energy was gone, replaced with a tiredness that made him look more exhausted than usual. "sick? are you sure?" you asked, your tone softening. "you look like you haven’t slept in days. you should be resting."

niki rolled his eyes, clearly not wanting to hear it. "i’m fine," he muttered, shifting the camera angle to show his screen. genshin impact was open, and he was in the middle of a mission, talking with npc’s. "i’m just trying to farm primos for xiao."

you let out an exasperated sigh, shaking your head. "niki, seriously? you’re sick, and you’re still playing that stupid game?" you almost couldn’t believe it. you were the one who got him to play hoyoverse games, but he was the one who ended up playing more than you. "you’re gonna make yourself worse."

“aw, so you care about me,” he looked back at you, a mischievous grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, though it was a little strained. "anyway, what else am i supposed to do? i’m already stuck at home. i’m on five pity, and the banner is coming out tomorrow." he sighed.

you rolled your eyes. "fine, fine. but if you’re so determined to farm, i’ll help you. just rest, okay? i’ll log into your account from here, get your missions done and farm domains."

niki gave you a half-smile, knowing full well he was probably better at the game than most people, but also knowing you were ridiculously good at it. your character builds were 10 times better than his. "you’d do that?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"yeah," you said, leaning back against your chair and grabbing your keyboard to search for the game. "go make yourself some soup or something. i’ll get you all your xiao mats up, emo boy."

"don’t call me that. i hate that you’re better at this than me," niki muttered under his breath, but you could hear the faint amusement in his voice. "whatever, i still beat you at mario kart. just get me the stuff already. i need it."

"damn, not even a thank you," you said mockingly, already loading up your own game. you shot him one last look through the phone, noticing the way his shoulders seemed to relax just a little, like he was grateful for the help, even if he didn’t show it.

"thank you," he said quietly, the exhaustion finally showing in his eyes as he leaned back in his chair, as he hoped he would get better soon, but nothing seemed to go his way these past couple of days.

niki spent the whole weekend locked up in his room, barely able to escape his mother and sister’s watchful eye. they insisted he stay inside, rest, and recover. especially with the festival coming up and you telling them about inviting him. "y/n won’t want you being sick," she had told him, her voice gentle but firm. "you could use this as a chance to make more friends too, with the volleyball kids she runs around with."

niki, feeling exhausted but too tired to argue, spent the day in his computer or scrolling aimlessly through his phone, but his mind kept drifting to you and the festival. he knew you’d probably end up ditching him for your new friends and jungwon. after all, you two were practically inseparable, surrounded by people. you were made for that world, always the social extrovert, flitting from one group to the next, effortlessly fitting in.

and jungwon? he was just like you, outgoing, friendly, always in the center of everything. it made sense, right? you two should end up together. he was a perfect match for you.

but then there was niki, sitting in his room, playing games, not bothering with social stuff. he was reserved, quiet, the guy who stayed on the sidelines and didn’t need to be the center of attention. maybe he wasn’t made for your world. maybe he wasn’t even someone you’d think twice about, even if you told him you considered him your best friend.

it was a stupid thought, but it lingered in the back of his mind until the buzz of his phone broke him out of it.

he glanced down and saw your name on the screen. ‘what now?’ he thought, his heart giving an odd little flutter in his chest, but he quickly opened the message anyway.

‘hey, guess what? i got you the zelda game card you wanted for your nintendo! it’s been out of stock for a while, but i managed to grab one for you. i know you’ve been looking for it! i hope you get better in time for the festival, and for this to cheer you up. ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡’

niki’s eyes widened as he stared at the picture of the game attached to your message. it was exactly what he’d wanted, and he had no idea how you’d gotten it. he hadn’t mentioned it to anyone in a while, so how did you even know? his chest tightened. it wasn’t just the gift. it was the fact that you remembered. you didn’t do this for anyone else. not for jungwon, not for some other guy. you did it for him.

and then, as he stared at the message, it hit him all at once.

you cared. you cared about him. and that made him feel... well, he wasn’t sure exactly how it made him feel, but it felt different, like you were someone who saw him in a way others didn’t. not just as the quiet guy who played video games, but as someone worth thinking about, someone worth doing something nice for.

niki’s face flushed. ‘damn it,’ he thought, running a hand through his hair. he liked you. he liked you a lot more than he realized, and that realization hit him harder than he was ready for. he quickly typed back, his fingers moving almost too fast for him to keep up with his own thoughts.

‘u didn’t have 2 do that… but thanks. rlly. it means a lot.’

he stared at the message for a second, unsure if he should add anything more. but he left it at that, feeling a little awkward, a little embarrassed by how vulnerable he felt. he put his phone down on the bed, his heart still racing in his chest. he tried to shake off the feeling, but it didn’t work. something had shifted. and now, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

it wasn’t just the way you smiled, or how your eyes softened when you spoke to him, it was the little things. the way you noticed when his mood shifted, how you always seemed to understand him without needing to say a word. you made him feel seen in ways no one else had, and he didn’t know when it had happened, but somewhere between your shared moments of silence and laughter, his heart had quietly slipped into a place he wasn’t ready to acknowledge.

you cared about him. and niki, with a soft blush creeping up his neck, was finally ready to admit it to himself. he was head over heels for you. and he had to make sure you knew about it, only, he had no idea how.

tuesday night, the festival was in full swing, the park buzzing with life. strings of twinkling lights hung overhead, casting a warm, golden glow over everything below. bright red lanterns danced in the evening breeze, and the distant hum of music mixed with the laughter of families enjoying the night.

everywhere you looked, there were games, colorful booths with prizes, spinning wheels of fortune, and carnival rides that lit up the dark sky with neon colors. the sweet scent of cotton candy, roasted chestnuts, and sizzling food wafted through the air, drawing people toward the food stalls. couples walked hand in hand, kids ran around excitedly, and the whole scene felt like something out of a dream.

you stood at the entrance of the park, your fingers tapping nervously against your phone. the boys from the volleyball team were around you, chatting and laughing, but your attention kept drifting back to the screen. you had dressed up in your prettiest clothes, hoping to catch his attention. you had even taken the time with your makeup, but despite your effort, you couldn’t shake the growing feeling of disappointment.

you had texted him. called him. multiple times. but niki hadn’t replied, hadn’t even read your messages. the little ‘delivered’ icon beside each one seemed to mock you, and with each passing minute, the knot in your stomach tightened. it was starting to feel like he had bailed on you completely, leaving you standing there, vulnerable, in front of your friends.

jungwon, who had been standing just a little further from you with a lighthearted grin on his face, seemed to sense your unease. his gaze softened as he walked over, putting a gentle hand on your shoulder. “hey,” he said, his voice calm and reassuring, “i know you were hoping niki would show up, but… don’t let it ruin the night, okay? you look great. and we’re all here with you. it’s the festival, after all.”

you nodded, trying to smile, but the weight of your disappointment was hard to shake. jungwon noticed, his eyes sparkling with the familiar warmth that made him so easy to be around. “and if it helps,” he continued, “i’ll buy you and the guys some strawberries with chocolate and marshmallows. how about that? it’ll lighten up the mood.”

you laughed softly, a small but genuine smile tugging at your lips. “you know me too well.”

jungwon’s grin widened. “it’s my job to know my friends,” he said with a wink. “come on, let’s enjoy the festival. there’s still plenty of fun to be had.” his words were comforting, but there was a part of you that still couldn’t help but feel that small sting of disappointment. you tried to push it aside, focusing instead on the atmosphere around you. on the lights, the laughter, and the simple joy of being surrounded by people who cared about you. maybe the night wouldn’t go exactly as you’d imagined, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t still be special.

just as you were about to nod and join the others, a sudden vibration from your phone made your heart skip a beat. it was a notification. niki had finally read your messages. your heart raced as you opened the chat, only to be met with a single, short text from him.

‘running late. konon didn’t like all of my clothing choices. said i looked too emo????? be there soon.’

a sigh of relief escaped your lips, but it came with a tinge of guilt for doubting him in the first place. still, as you glanced up at the bright lights of the festival, you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of excitement. maybe niki was running late, but at least he wasn’t gone. and with the boys around you, it seemed the night was still full of promise.

"guess what?" you said, looking up at jungwon. "he’s on his way. niki’s coming."

jungwon gave you a knowing smile, his eyes sparkling. “hey, that’s great, tell him we’re either at the food stalls or in line for a game. now, let’s get those strawberries, yeah?”

the group of you laughed and joked as you ate, the mood lightening with each bite. it felt good to be surrounded by your friends. even if niki had made you wait, the night was still shaping up to be fun. after finishing the strawberries, you all made your way toward the ferris wheel, the soft music from the ride drifting through the air. the line wasn’t too long, and the boys were excited, already bickering over who would be paired with who.

just as you were about to get in line, you saw him. niki. he came rushing toward the crowd, his footsteps quick, his eyes scanning the people. his hair was slightly messy, and he looked a little out of breath, like he had sprinted the whole way there. he looked around frantically, and just as he caught sight of your group, his expression softened, a small, sheepish grin tugging at the corner of his lips.

“sorry, sorry,” he muttered, breathless, “konon and my mom made me change my clothes like a hundred times. i swear, she’s always making me late for everything.”

you couldn’t help but laugh, feeling the tension from earlier melt away. "it’s okay," you said with a smile, but your heart was racing a little faster now, just from seeing him. "you made it."

niki gave you a quick nod, his eyes shifting to the boys around you. “hey. what’s up?” he greeted them with a relaxed wave. despite the rush, he seemed completely at ease now. it was like all the nervousness from earlier had disappeared. he wasn’t bothered by your friends anymore. he wasn’t worried about the fact that you were all together, laughing, sharing the night. instead, there was only one thing on his mind, you, and how pretty you looked tonight.

kai playfully clapped him on the back. “you’re so late, but glad you made it. the ride’s about to start. get in line, you go with y/n.”

niki gave a slight roll of his eyes, but there was no real frustration there. in fact, he was beaming, his gaze flickering back to you. for a moment, the world felt a little quieter, like everything around you had blurred out, and it was just the two of you standing there, with the bright lights of the festival surrounding you like a halo.

you glanced at him, and when his eyes met yours, there was something new in them. something more confident, something certain. niki smiled softly, and this time, it wasn’t that carefree grin he usually wore when he was teasing. this one was different. this one was filled with meaning.

“you look good tonight,” he said quietly, his words just for you.

your heart skipped, a smile tugging at your lips before you could stop it. “thanks,” you replied, your voice softer than usual. “you don’t look too bad yourself, niki.”

you and niki, along with the rest of the group, had eventually made your way into the ferris wheel, the towering structure glowing against the night sky. you could hear the soft creaking of the wheel as it spun, the occasional shout of excitement from people already on the ride. the boys were already joking around, kai teasing taehyun from the carriage ahead. but for you, the excitement was mixed with a twinge of unease.

you didn’t really like heights.

you were trying to keep calm, to play it cool, but you felt that familiar knot in your stomach tightening as you looked around. niki must have noticed, because when you both settled in, he shot you a quick glance.

“you okay?” he asked softly, his voice a mix of concern and teasing. “i know you’re not exactly a fan of this.”

you laughed nervously, trying to act nonchalant. “i’m fine. it’s fine,” you said, though your grip on the side of the carriage betrayed you.

niki raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced, but instead of saying anything more, he simply reached over and took your hand. his fingers intertwined with yours, offering comfort in that simple gesture. as the ride started moving, you felt your heart race a little, but his hand in yours made it feel a little more manageable. with him there, you could breathe just a little easier.

the carriage slowly ascended, and you tried to focus on the view, forcing yourself to look out at the twinkling lights of the festival below. but as the wheel climbed higher and higher, the world around you seemed to tilt, and you instinctively squeezed niki’s hand tighter. you could hear the distant laughter and chatter from the crowd, but the heights, those dizzying heights, made everything feel overwhelming.

“don’t worry, you’re safe with me,” niki murmured, his voice calm as he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. “i won’t let anything happen to you.”

his words, quiet and reassuring, helped settle some of the panic in your chest, though your heart still fluttered with nerves. he shifted slightly, leaning in closer as the ride made its way to the top, the festival sprawling beneath you like a patchwork of lights and colors. from up here, you could see everything, the food stalls, the carnival games, the laughter of families far below. it was beautiful, breathtaking, but the height still made your stomach churn.

as you reached the very top of the wheel, the carriage slowly came to a halt. for a moment, the ride felt suspended in time, like the entire world below you was frozen. you tried to focus on the view, but your heartbeat quickened, and your palms began to sweat.

then, suddenly, the speakers crackled, and a calm, neutral voice echoed from below. “we apologize for the inconvenience, but it seems the ferris wheel has experienced a slight malfunction. please remain seated. we will resolve the issue within the next few minutes.”

this had to be a sick joke.

your breath caught in your throat. a malfunction? the words hit you harder than they should have. panic surged in your chest as the wheel remained still, suspended high in the air. below, everything seemed so distant, too far away, and you were stuck up here, vulnerable and exposed.

niki immediately noticed the shift in your demeanor. his hand tightened around yours, and he moved closer, his shoulder brushing against yours. “hey, hey,” he said, his voice low and soothing. “it’s alright. it’s just a small problem. they’ll fix it. everything’s fine.”

but it didn’t feel fine. your mind raced, your breathing quickened, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest. you hated being stuck in places like this, unable to move, unable to control anything.

niki must have sensed your fear, because without saying another word, he shifted closer, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his side. “i’m here,” he whispered, his voice steady. “nothing’s going to happen. just breathe, okay? i’ve got you.”

you tried to steady your breathing, but it was hard. the space around you felt so open, and you couldn't shake the sense of vertigo creeping up. but niki’s presence beside you was like an anchor, grounding you in a way nothing else could. his steady grip on your hand and his arm around you offered a sense of security, his warmth a comfort amidst the rising panic.

he didn’t let go of you. his fingers gently traced circles against your palm as he held you close, his voice soft but constant, reassuring you that everything would be okay “we’re fine,” he murmured. “just focus on me. focus on my voice, okay? i’m right here.”

you nodded, trying to calm your racing thoughts. his closeness, his steady presence, helped push back the panic that had threatened to consume you. the ride was still paused, but you felt a little more at ease with each passing second, comforted by the way he held you, by the way he made you feel safe in a place that usually made you feel so small and vulnerable.

and as you looked out at the view again, it wasn’t quite as overwhelming. it was still beautiful, and though the world was far below you, niki was there, right beside you. and for once, it didn’t feel so bad to be up here.

you leaned into him, feeling the warmth of his arm around your body and the gentle pressure of his hand still holding yours. it was strange, how in the midst of all that panic, just being near him made everything feel better.

after a few more seconds of silence, you glanced over at him, managing a small smile despite yourself. "if they take too long to fix this, we’re going to miss the fireworks," you said, trying to make light of the situation. the fireworks were supposed to start soon, a grand finale to the evening, and the thought of missing them made a small ache form in your chest.

niki chuckled softly, a light laugh that made the air feel a little less heavy. “you really do love your fireworks, huh?” he teased, nudging you gently with his shoulder. “don’t worry, i’m sure we’ll see them. they can’t keep us up here forever.”

you nodded, though you still felt a little uneasy, not sure how long this delay would last. but niki’s voice was steady, and the way he stayed close to you made everything feel just a little bit safer. as you sat there, the ferris wheel slowly swaying slightly in the breeze, something shifted inside you, something that had been building throughout the night.

you looked up at niki, his face soft in the dim light, his expression calm but genuine. his dark eyes, that familiar glint of mischief and warmth, were fixed on you, as if nothing else in the world mattered at that moment except being here with you. and you realized, for the first time, just how much you actually liked him.

it wasn’t just the teasing banter, or the way he made you laugh, or even the way he’d made you feel safe in the middle of your fear. it was something deeper, something you couldn’t quite put into words. the way he cared, the way he was always present, always ready to be there when you needed him.

you shifted slightly in your seat, feeling a little vulnerable with this realization, but you couldn’t hold it back any longer. your heart was beating a little faster, but it wasn’t out of panic this time. it was something else, something that made your stomach flutter and your chest feel lighter.

time seemed to stretch in that moment, like everything had slowed down just for the two of you. the music from the festival, the laughter, the buzz of excitement. all of it faded into the background. the only thing that mattered was the soft rhythm of your breathing and the way your hand felt in niki’s.

you couldn’t remember who moved first, whether it was him or you, but there was a magnetic pull between you, something undeniable. the space between you narrowed, and suddenly, your lips were meeting, gently at first, like a question, a hesitant step forward into the unknown.

it was a soft kiss, but it felt like everything. each tender graze of his lips against yours, a shiver of warmth spreading through your chest. feeling him so close to you. for a split second, everything else was lost. the heights, the festival, the malfunctioning ride. they all vanished. it was just you and him, a fleeting moment that felt like time had stopped. you were there with him, fully present, feeling a pulsing connection that surpassed any words.

then, just as quickly as it began, it ended. the kiss was gone, but the feeling remained, like a warm glow spreading through you. the suddenness of it all left you breathless, your chest still tingling, your heart still racing.

and then, like a mirror to the fluttering beat of your heart, the first firework burst in the sky behind you. the colors exploded in a brilliant rain of lights, reds, golds, blues, illuminating the dark sky. they filled the air with so much beauty, but it didn’t compare to the feeling that still lingered in the air between you and niki.

you pulled back a little, eyes meeting his. both of you were silent for a moment as the fireworks continued to light up the night. the air between you felt electric, the shortest kiss leaving you both with something you couldn’t shake, wanting more.

neither of you spoke, not yet. words weren’t needed. you could feel the energy between you, quiet but intense, like the fireworks themselves, a series of bright moments strung together in the vastness of the night.

niki’s fingers tightened around yours again, just a little, a silent reassurance that he was still there, that he was present. and in that moment, you felt the warmth of his hand grounding you, reminding you that this moment, this feeling, it was real. "look," he whispered, his voice softer than before, as another explosion of lights filled the sky. "we're in the middle of this."

you glanced at him again, his face illuminated by the fading lights, a soft smile playing on his lips as he looked out at the horizon. and in that moment, it felt like the world, and the whole sky was yours.

BTW: corny ass niki fic i loveeee it LMFAO. also, a big thank you to xiao from genshin impact for being my #1, and kozume kenma for inventing the nintendo switch.

EXTRA:

masterlist.

[luxsdelirium]

JOSHUA’S FAME DR

002 DISCOGRAPHY

Roses - Late 2022

Roses is more than just a debut EP—it’s the sound of raw talent meeting unstoppable ambition. created in the most unfiltered way possible, the six-track project is a fusion of dreamy melodies, heartfelt lyrics, and an effortless blend of R&B, pop, and ethereal beats. born from late-night experiments with borrowed instrumentals, Roses is a testament to passion over perfection.

TRACKLIST:

TITLE TIME

petals 2:38

nostalgia 3:21

pink parasol 2:40

echos of me 1:32

roses in the rain 4:21

dreams coated in ink 3:37

GENRES: Pop, Rap, RNB, Hyperpop, Experimental, Neo-Soul

Billboard Placement: —

Achievement: Started Joshua’s career.

Stardust - Early 2023 (Pop+Rap)

after the demand of new music from fans, joshua dropped his single, Stardust a track about his success, getting money, and thanking his best-friend/his manager. the track marked the turning point from internet sensation to a full fledged artist.

TITLE TIME

Stardust 3:56

Billboard Placement: #23-100 (Still charting since release)

Achievements: Started the official “PINKPRINT/PINKBANDZ” movement, Grammy Nominated (Lost).

COSMIC FREQUENCY - Mid 2025

joshua’s debut album. all the growth, criticism received, an experience, a sonic journey through fame, self-discovery, and the vibrations that shape our reality. following the viral success of Roses and Stardust, this debut full-length project cements its creator as more than just a rising star—this is the work of an artist shaping an era. every feature, every flow, every lyric. perfection.

TRACKLIST:

TITLE TIME

ECLIPSED (ft. Beyoncé & Solange) 3:57

VENUS (ft. Jhené Aiko) 3:21

CHERRY BLOSSOM SINS (ft. Lana Del Rey) 4:36

SILK AND GOLD (ft. Erykah Badu) 3:02

SIREN SONG (ft. Beyoncé) 0:53

NO SIGNAL (ft. Charli XCX) 2:43

ELECTRIC SUN 3:32

GARDEN OF SECRETS 1:45

MOONLIT MIRAGE 5:42

HEAVEN’S VOICEMAIL (ft. Ariana Grande) 3:33

COSMIC HIGH 4:26

MERCURY’S RIPTIDE 7:47

CF (Outro) 1:11

Genres: Rap, Pop, Country-Pop, Sigilkore, Hyperpop, Experimental, House, Electronic, Rock, RnB, 90’s Rnb, Alternative Pop, Alternative Rock, Jazz, Disco, Soul, Neo Soul, Bounce, Gospel, Dance, Techno, Fusion.

Billboard Placement: #1-20 (Still charting!)

Achievements: Grammy AOTY Nominee for 2025 Grammys, Rated 9.6 by Pitchfork, Highest First Week Sales Ever, Surpassing Micheal Jackson’s “Thriller”, selling 121 million copies, Promoting the “PINKBANDZ” aesthetic to high-fashion.

creds to: @violettqs for inspo!!

[clonexocweek]

The Statistics of Clone x OC Week 2025

Hello everybody 👋✨ Apologies for taking so long, but we have finally finished combing through the numbers and processing them into little graphics. It is a bittersweet moment, but this presentation will be our last formal post for Clone x OC Week 2025. Again, we can't thank you enough for joining this event and making this enjoyable for everybody (mod included). Without further ado, please enjoy...

(Warning!! This will be a loooong post 💖)

The event in summary:

Total entries submitted: 380

Total unique creators: 80

Total number of pairings: 28

Daily distribution of entries, i.e., number of entries submitted per day of the event:

Day 1: 78 entries

Day 2: 55 entries

Day 3: 58 entries

Day 4: 57 entries

Day 5: 48 entries

Day 6: 45 entries

Day 7: 39 entries

Types of works submitted throughout the week:

85 fanart

229 fanfiction

43 multimedia work*

23 other** types of creative work

*multimedia entries are entries that result from a combination of multiple creative medium, e.g., fanart accopmanied by fanfiction.

**other entries are entries that don't fit into the fanart or fanfic category, e.g., moodboards, analysis or playlists.

Percentage distribution of each type of work (submitted throughout the whole event week):

Fanfic: 60.3%

Fanart: 22.4%

Multimedia: 11.3%

Other: 6.1%

Top 3 most loved clones:

Tech (49 entries)

Crosshair (44 entries)

Clone OCs (38 entries)

Percentage distribution of submissions sorted by clones:

Tech – 12.9%

Crosshair – 11.6%

Clone OCs – 10.0%

Hunter – 9.2%

Rex – 9.2%

Wolffe – 7.6%

Fox – 6.6%

Fives – 6.1%

Multiple – 5.0%

Echo – 3.7%

Other – 18.2%

Note: For ease, we've elected to feature the top 10 clones which had most entries in the chart. The rest of the clones are grouped into the category called "other". Submissions which featured multiple clones (like a vignette with different pairings, all in the same post) or poly ships are sorted into the category called "multiple".

Amount distribution of submissions sorted by clones, i.e., How many submission did [insert clone] receive throughout the event week?

Advisor – 1

Alpha-17 – 9

Bacara – 4

Clone OCs – 38

Cody – 1

Crosshair – 44

Dogma – 3

Echo – 14

Fives – 23

Fox – 25

Hardcase – 3

Hound – 2

Howzer – 3

Hunter – 35

Jesse – 3

Keeli – 1

Kix – 13

Multiple – 19

No ship – 1

Omega – 3

Rex – 35

Slick – 1

Tech – 49

Thorn – 7

Tup – 1

Wilco – 4

Wolffe – 29

Wrecker – 9

Advisor – 1

Alpha-17 – 9

Bacara – 4

Clone OCs – 38

Cody – 1

Crosshair – 44

Dogma – 3

Echo – 14

Fives – 23

Fox – 25

Hardcase – 3

Hound – 2

Howzer – 3

Hunter – 35

Jesse – 3

Keeli – 1

Kix – 13

Multiple – 19

No ship – 1

Omega – 3

Rex – 35

Slick – 1

Tech – 49

Thorn – 7

Tup – 1

Wilco – 4

Wolffe – 29

Wrecker – 9

And—that's it folk! Hope you enjoyed this little statistics roundup of Clone x OC Week 2025 💖✨

[yanderes-galore]

May I ask for lmk Macaque with your list of prompts 59, 57 and 22 :3

Sure! Here's sadistic shadow monkey that follows you around :) I really do love him, lol. Hope you like the plot (It isn't much but I'm sure him learning you have other friends... opens old wounds.)

Yandere! Macaque Prompts 59, 57, 22

"Are those friends of yours? Are they your everything?"

"You're stuck with me, like it or not."

"They never loved you. Only I love you."

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Emotional manipulation, Stalking, Jealousy, Possessive behavior, Clingy behavior, Forced relationship/companionship.

Macaque had recently found a new toy to mess with. He had always been one to mess with humans for his own amusement. Mischief was one of his favorite things.

Speaking of favorite things...

"You aren't ignoring me, are you~?" His voice echoes around you, shadows changing shape on their own. You had grown used to such anomalies recently. Shadows following you around had been something you were dealing with for months.

"Aww, come on, sweetheart! Did you really think I'd just leave you alone? You're far too interesting for that...."

Just like that the shadow monkey manifests, piercing yellow eyes staring into you as he materializes. He has a grin on his face, arms crossed as he circles you. Here he was... your forced companion.

"It's just so boring without you in my sight, Y'know?" Macaque purrs, acting like he ever let you out of his sight. He follows you from the shadows and in animal form. Really... there's no way he ever takes his eyes off you.

Which is why he felt he should 'cut in' when he saw you with a group of supposed friends.

"Didn't even bother to invite me~?" Macaque pouts playfully, dramatic as ever. He then wraps his arms around you, fur tickling your skin as he flicks his tail. He can feel your body tense under his touch, making his grin return stronger. "I thought you loved me~? Aren't we friends?"

Macaque can see your teeth grit at his comment. In response he really rubs it in, nuzzling into you playfully with a sigh. Oh how he loves your little reactions.

"Not now, Macaque." You say, trying to shoo him away but the monkey stubbornly stays. You had just had finished hanging out with your group of friends before Macaque stepped in. So luckily... they didn't have to see you try to shake off a shadow monkey.

"Why~?" Macaque whispers, tail swaying as his grip tightens. "Were those friends of yours?" Macaque coos, circling so he's in front of you. His grin is teasing... but also appears to be hiding something underneath. "Are they your everything?"

"Yes?" You answer, making Macaque lean back and cackle. You glare at him... only to pause when he stops with a serious expression. He looks... irritated.

"Oh, sweetheart..." Macaque purrs, staying close to you. "Do you really think they care about you?"

"Hey, what's your problem!?" You growl, pushing at the monkey as he grips your hands. He grins, holding them up to place on his cheeks with a cruel look in his glowing eyes.

"What? Don't believe me?" Macaque frowns in a growl, playing with your mind. He doesn't like the idea of you having other friends. Really... you deserve so much better.

"Of course I don't!" You hiss, pulling your hands away as Macaque frowns.

"Really now?" Macaque tilts his head before giving a concerned look. "If anyone knew the truth, it would be me!"

You look at him confused, Macaque humming with a nod of his head. He begins to circle you again, occasionally prodding at you affectionately. He loved when you squirmed.

"Don't give me that look, dear! Can't you tell?" Macaque prods, leaning his head against you. "If I can follow you around... Then I can follow them! Which means..."

Macaque notices the hurt in your gaze, leading him to quickly latch onto you.

"Oh, don't worry... that's why I'm here!" Macaque chirps, embracing you. "You look like you're about to cry... it's okay... just let me comfort you~"

Macaque knew how to use his words. He knew just what to say to manipulate others. You, poor oblivious thing, looked like you believed him.

Which made it much easier to lure you in all for himself.

"They never loved you. I heard it myself!" Macaque nods, playing the role of looking genuine as he sees your eyes water. Such a bittersweet look. "Really, only I love you."

"You're lying..." You whisper, the monkey leaning closer to your face.

"I swear I speak only the truth." Macaque whispers, tilting your chin up. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

Macaque observes as you stare ahead, not quite trusting him. He understands, he's a known liar. In fact, he's lying right now.

But your emotions are quick to take over rational thinking.... It's not like you can prove him wrong, right? Maybe your friends really are just pretending.

"I see..." You whisper, Macaque smiling when he realizes he has you wrapped around his finger.

"You never needed them anyways, sweetheart." Macaque shakes his head, humming while he pets your hair. "Seriously, they were so dull."

You can see Macaque stick out his tongue in disgust before returning his attention to you. You swore his piercing eyes dilated as he wraps his tail around you. You couldn't believe this.

"Well, I think it's time I made you feel better." Macaque hums, patting your back playfully before grabbing your hand. "How about we go on a little walk? Get something to eat?"

You look hesitant. Macaque wasn't someone you could necessarily trust. Although... he's been working on getting better lately, right?

It's not like he's hurt you....

"Again with the looks?" Macaque pouts. "Yeesh, the truth hurts, doesn't it?"

You nod and Macaque hums, a grin returning to his face before he pulls you into him.

"Well, come here then!" Macaque sighs, embrace tight against you. "I'll be here to comfort you... maybe even teach them a lesson for you, yeah?"

Macaque chuckles darkly, eyes half shut while he holds you tight against him and presses his face beside your ear.

"After all, You're stuck with me, like it or not, sweetheart."

[lowaltitude]

Dial Tone 3 | Matt Rempe

- NHL, New York Rangers - x Reader

❪ FEM! ❫

───── ❝ description + disclaimer ❞ ─────

𖥻 Matthew Rempe x FEM!reader, in which a wrong number friendship is more than you'd hope for. OR he falls first, he falls hard, he's NYC's biggest enforcer.

𖥻 PART ONE HERE. PART TWO HERE. 4.2k words

back by popular demand <3 ty for all the nice messages

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

Wednesday, May 29, 2024 Today, 9:57 PM MANHATTAN: I don’t know how else to convince you. What do you want me to say?

I read the message over and over as I made my way back to the hotel, my friends chatting around me. Their voices blurred into background noise as my thoughts tangled into a confused mess. It didn’t add up—none of it did. The tension between my heart and my head was unbearable.

By the time we got to the hotel, my friend tried to rope me into ordering late-night room service, but I waved her off, mumbling something about needing a shower. She gave me a curious glance but didn’t push.

The shower didn’t help. If anything, it made my thoughts louder, like the steam had cleared space for more doubts to crowd in. Wrapping a towel around myself, I padded over to the bed, plopped down, and grabbed my phone. I stared at Manhattan’s messages for what felt like the fiftieth time, gnawing on my thumbnail until it ached.

I didn’t want to believe him. But at the same time, there was something about his words—his tone, even through text—that kept me hesitating. He didn’t sound like a liar. He sounded genuinely… confused. Frustrated. Desperate, even.

Before I could overthink it any further, I tapped his contact and hit the FaceTime button. My heart pounded as it rang, each chime echoing louder in my ears. What was I even doing?

The screen shifted, and suddenly, he was there. A real, live version of him, staring back at me. His familiar sharp jawline, messy dark hair, and warm brown eyes that I’d seen countless times in photos. He looked tired, his face serious but soft with concern.

“Hey,” he said quietly, his voice lower than I expected, tinged with a nervous edge.

I froze, staring at him in disbelief. For a moment, I couldn’t speak. I could barely breathe.

“Say something,” he urged, his brow furrowing. “Please.”

“You’re…” I finally whispered, shaking my head. “You really look like him.”

“Because I am him,” he said, leaning closer to the camera. “I’m Matt. Everything I’ve told you, every message, it was me. I wasn’t pretending. I wasn’t using anyone else’s photos.”

I blinked, my mind racing. “But why��why wouldn’t you just say that? Why hide it?”

“I didn’t mean to hide it,” he said quickly, his words tumbling over each other. “When we first started talking, it wasn’t about… me being Matt Rempe. It was just about us. I liked that you didn’t know who I was. It made everything feel… normal. Real. And then it got harder to tell you as we got closer.”

I sat there, stunned, gripping my phone so tightly my knuckles turned white. “You should have told me,” I said, my voice trembling. “Do you know how confused I’ve been? How much this feels like some giant joke?”

“I know,” he said, his expression pained. “And I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. I just… didn’t want to ruin what we had.”

“What we had?” I repeated, my voice rising slightly. “Do you even know how ridiculous this all sounds? You’re saying I’ve been texting you—a professional hockey player—for months and you didn’t think that was worth mentioning?”

“I was scared, okay?” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “I didn’t want to mess things up. I didn’t want you to see me differently.”

I stared at him, the weight of his words sinking in. My mind was a storm of disbelief, anger, and a flicker—just a flicker—of something else. Hope? No, that couldn’t be it.

“I don’t know what to believe,” I admitted finally, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Then let me prove it to you,” he said, his gaze steady, almost pleading. “Ask me anything. Anything you want to know. I’ll tell you the truth. No more hiding. I promise.”

I swallowed hard, my heart thundering in my chest. “Okay,” I said quietly. “Why should I trust you now?”

“Because,” he said softly, his eyes locking with mine through the screen, “I’ve never lied about how I feel about you.”

I stared at him through the screen, my emotions swirling. His words hung in the air, heavy but sincere. He wasn’t asking for my trust—he was begging for it, his honesty shining through despite everything.

“I don’t know how to do this,” I admitted, my voice trembling. “I don’t know how to just… move past it all. It feels so messy now.”

Matt nodded slowly, running a hand through his messy hair. “I get it,” he said softly. “I screwed up by not being honest from the start. But I’m here now, and I’m telling you everything. I don’t want to lose what we have. Even if that means we have to take a step back or… or whatever you need.”

I bit my lip, my mind racing. It wasn’t like I didn’t care about him—clearly, I did. That was part of why this felt so complicated. “I just… need to figure out how to trust you again,” I said quietly. “I want to, but it’s going to take time.”

“Take all the time you need,” he said immediately, his tone earnest. “I’m not going anywhere.”

A small, tentative smile tugged at my lips. It wasn’t everything, but it was something—a start.

He seemed to relax slightly, his shoulders losing some of their tension. “Thank you,” he said simply. “For giving me a chance.”

I nodded, letting out a shaky breath. “Okay,” I said, a little more firmly this time. “We’ll figure it out. One step at a time.”

Matt smiled softly, the kind of smile that made it hard not to feel the warmth behind it. Then, as if realizing something mid-thought, he said, “You look really pretty, by the way.”

My cheeks flushed instantly. “What?” I stammered, caught completely off guard.

His eyes widened slightly, like he hadn’t meant to say it out loud. “I—uh—sorry. I wasn’t trying to make things weird,” he said quickly, a hint of color creeping into his cheeks too. “It just slipped out.”

Despite myself, I couldn’t help but laugh, the tension between us easing just a little. “You really need to work on your timing,” I teased, shaking my head.

“Yeah,” he said with a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of his neck. “Probably not my best move.”

We sat there in silence for a moment, the weight of everything still present but less overwhelming. Somehow, that small, awkward compliment had cracked through the heaviness, making things feel just a bit more normal.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I said finally, my voice soft but steady.

“Tomorrow,” he echoed, his tone hopeful. “And… thanks. For real.”

I ended the call, setting my phone down on the bed beside me. My mind was still a mess, but for the first time in hours, I didn’t feel completely lost. We weren’t fixed, not by a long shot, but maybe, just maybe, we were on the path to figuring it out.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

The next morning, I woke up feeling like my mind had run a marathon overnight. The emotional weight of everything still lingered, but there was a small sense of clarity cutting through the fog. Matt and I had talked, and while it hadn’t solved everything, it had opened the door for us to start moving forward—if I wanted to.

I stared at my phone, the FaceTime app still in my recent calls list. His face was fresh in my mind, the sincerity in his eyes as he told me he hadn’t lied. He’d seemed so genuine, so earnest, that it was hard to hold onto the anger I’d felt the night before. But trust wasn’t built in a single conversation, and I knew that forgiving him wasn’t the same as forgetting what had happened.

I dragged myself out of bed and got ready for the day, meeting my classmates for breakfast in the hotel’s bustling dining area. The chatter of everyone’s plans for the expo helped distract me for a while. My friend nudged me as we filled our plates.

“You seem more like yourself today,” she said, offering me a warm smile.

“Yeah,” I said, nodding. “I think I just needed to sleep on some things.”

She gave me a curious look, clearly wanting to ask more, but she let it go. Instead, she launched into a story about a panel she wanted to attend later, and I let myself get swept up in her excitement, grateful for the reprieve.

Later that afternoon, as I wandered through the bustling expo floor with my classmates, my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a text from Matt.

Thursday, May 30, 2024 Today, 1:22 PM MATT: Hope you’re having a good day. No pressure to reply, just wanted to check in.

I stared at the message for a moment, feeling a pang of guilt. He was trying so hard to make things right, to give me space while still showing he cared. After a moment’s hesitation, I typed a quick reply.

ME: Thanks. It’s been a good day so far.

His response came almost instantly.

MATT: Good. You deserve that.

A small smile tugged at my lips, and for the first time in days, I felt a flicker of hope that maybe we could figure this out.

Here’s the continuation of the story from the morning setup:

The rest of the expo flew by in a blur of panels, exhibits, and conversations, but no matter how much I tried to immerse myself in the experience, my thoughts kept drifting back to Matt. The weight of everything between us lingered, a mix of uncertainty and cautious optimism.

By the time evening rolled around, our group gathered in the hotel lobby, buzzing with excitement about our plans to head out one last time before our flight the next morning. My friend looped her arm through mine as we headed toward the subway.

“This trip has been so much fun,” she said, her voice brimming with enthusiasm. “I can’t believe it’s almost over.”

“Me neither,” I said, offering her a small smile.

She tilted her head, studying me. “You sure you’re okay? You’ve been a little… I don’t know, quieter than usual.”

“I’m fine,” I said quickly, not wanting to get into it. “Just tired, I guess.”

She didn’t push, but I could feel her concern as we navigated the crowded subway.

When we returned to the hotel later that evening, everyone scattered to their rooms to pack and get ready for the morning. I unlocked my door, stepping inside and letting out a long breath. The past few days had been such a whirlwind that it felt strange to finally have a moment to myself.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, my phone in hand. My conversation with Matt from earlier lingered in my mind, his words replaying over and over.

MATT: Good. You deserve that.

There was something so simple yet so sincere about it that I couldn’t shake the feeling it gave me.

After a while, I decided to FaceTime him again. I needed to see his face, to talk to him without the filter of a screen full of text.

When the call connected, he answered almost immediately, his expression a mix of surprise and relief.

“Hey,” he said, his voice warm but cautious.

“Hi,” I said, suddenly feeling shy.

For a moment, neither of us spoke. The silence stretched between us, heavy with everything we hadn’t said yet. Finally, I broke it.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about… everything,” I admitted.

“And?” he asked, leaning forward slightly.

“And I think I want to move past it,” I said. “I’m still not sure how to fully wrap my head around everything, but I know I trust you enough to try.”

His shoulders relaxed, and a soft smile crossed his face. “That’s all I could ask for. Thank you.”

I nodded, letting out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

We talked for a little while longer, and slowly, the tension between us began to fade. At one point, he paused mid-sentence, a thoughtful look crossing his face.

“What?” I asked, tilting my head.

“You look really pretty,” he said, the words tumbling out before he could stop them.

My cheeks flushed, and I ducked my head, a small laugh escaping me. “Matt…”

“Sorry,” he said quickly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean to make it weird. It just kind of slipped out.”

“It’s okay,” I said, smiling despite myself.

The silence stretched for a moment before I stood up, moving to the dresser to start packing my suitcase. I couldn’t afford to leave it until morning—not with the early flight looming.

“Hold on, I need to get some packing done,” I said, propping my phone on the nightstand so I could still see him.

“Packing?” he asked, his brows furrowing slightly.

“For the flight tomorrow,” I said, folding a shirt and placing it neatly in my bag. “This trip really flew by.”

“Oh,” he said softly, the weight in his tone catching my attention.

I glanced at the screen, catching the flicker of emotion in his eyes before he quickly looked away. For a moment, I felt a pang of guilt.

“So… tell me about the NHL,” I said, trying to shift the mood. “What’s it like playing at that level? I mean, you’re on one of the biggest stages out there, right?”

He hesitated, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “It’s… surreal, I guess. Every game feels like a dream, but there’s a lot of pressure too. People are always watching, analyzing, expecting you to be at your best.”

“I can’t even imagine,” I said, shaking my head as I zipped up one compartment of my suitcase. “Do you ever get used to it?”

“Not really,” he admitted with a laugh. “But you learn how to focus on the game and tune everything else out. It’s the only way to stay sane.”

I nodded, reaching for another stack of clothes. “It must be tough, though. All that travel, the media, the fans…”

“It can be,” he said, his tone softening. “But it’s worth it. You know, for moments like that win last night—or even the little ones, like seeing a kid in the stands wearing your jersey.”

I smiled at that, imagining what it must be like to have such an impact on people.

As I worked through my packing, I noticed he was unusually quiet. When I glanced back at the screen, his expression was unreadable, his gaze distant.

“Matt?” I prompted gently.

He blinked, snapping back to the present. “Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About how this was my chance to really meet you,” he said, his voice tinged with regret. “And I blew it. You were here, in New York, and I didn’t even know until it was too late.”

I paused, the weight of his words settling over me. “It’s not like I made it easy,” I said, trying to lighten the mood. “I did kind of spring the whole surprise thing on you.”

“Still,” he said, shaking his head. “I’ve been talking to you for months, and then you were here, and I—” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I just wish I’d done things differently.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. The sincerity in his voice made my heart ache, but there was no undoing what had already happened.

“You’ll just have to make up for it next time,” I said softly, offering him a small smile.

His eyes met mine through the screen, and for a moment, the sadness faded, replaced by something warmer, something hopeful.

“Next time,” he echoed, his voice steady. “I’ll make sure of it.”

As I finished packing and we said our goodnights, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of his words lingering in the air. Maybe this trip hadn’t gone as planned, but there was still a chance—however small—to turn it into something meaningful.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

The next morning, I woke up to the soft buzz of my phone alarm. My suitcase sat by the door, neatly packed and ready to go, but my heart felt heavy as I got dressed for the flight home. The trip had been a whirlwind, full of unexpected highs and lows, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about leaving it all behind.

At breakfast, my friend chatted animatedly about the highlights of the trip, her enthusiasm a welcome distraction. I nodded along, adding a comment here and there, but my thoughts kept drifting back to Matt—and the bittersweet regret that we hadn’t met in person.

As the bus pulled up to take us to the airport, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. A part of me thought about ignoring it, not ready to face whatever emotions his message might stir, but curiosity won out.

Thursday, May 30, 2024 Today, 8:30AM MATT: Hope your flight goes smoothly. Let me know when you get home safe, okay?

His words were simple, but they carried an unmistakable warmth that made my chest tighten.

ME: Thanks. I will.

I hit send and stared at the screen, debating whether to say more. Before I could decide, the bus lurched forward, and I slipped my phone back into my bag.

At the airport, the usual chaos of check-ins and security lines kept me distracted. My classmates joked about the trip, already planning to compare notes and photos when we got home.

It wasn’t until we were boarding the plane that I let myself pause. As I settled into my seat, I opened my messages again, scrolling through the thread with Matt. The FaceTime from last night lingered in my mind—the honesty in his voice, the look in his eyes when he said he didn’t want to lose me.

Taking a deep breath, I typed a quick message.

ME: I’m sorry we couldn’t meet this time.

I hesitated for a moment, then added:

ME: But I’m glad we talked.

I hit send and slipped my phone into airplane mode, unsure if I was ready to see his reply yet.

The flight home felt longer than usual, each mile bringing me closer to reality and further from the whirlwind that had been New York. By the time we landed, I felt a strange mix of relief and longing.

As soon as I turned my phone back on, his reply popped up:

MATT: Me too. This wasn’t how I wanted it to happen, but I’m glad you gave me a chance to explain.

A small smile tugged at my lips. Maybe things hadn’t gone perfectly, but they weren’t broken beyond repair. And maybe, just maybe, the next time I found myself in New York—or wherever life might take us—we’d finally get the chance to meet face to face.

As the bus rumbled along toward the airport, I let out a sigh, leaning my head against the window. The cityscape zipped by outside, its bustling energy already feeling like a distant memory. I turned slightly, catching snippets of a hushed conversation coming from the row ahead.

“Seriously, he was so hot!” one of my classmates whispered excitedly.

Her seatmate, a guy who sounded more bored than anything, let out a massive yawn. “DM him on Instagram or something, I dunno.”

I couldn’t help but smirk at his nonchalant response, but my curiosity was piqued. Peering discreetly through the small gap between the seats, I caught sight of her phone. She was scrolling through photos from the hockey game, her finger pausing as she zoomed in on a close-up shot of Matt mid-game, his determined expression and jersey number 73 clearly visible.

“I don’t even know his name, idiot,” she muttered, sounding genuinely frustrated.

A chuckle slipped out before I could stop myself. Both of them turned to look at me, their expressions a mix of surprise and curiosity.

I met their gazes with a small smile and said “Matthew Rempe.”

The girl blinked in shock, her phone still clutched in her hand. “Wait, you know his name?”

“Yep,” I replied, leaning back in my seat and pretending to focus on the passing buildings again, my grin widening as I felt their stunned stares linger on me for a moment longer.

The city faded further behind us, but a small part of me couldn’t help feeling like it wasn’t quite done with me yet.

The bus continued its steady rumble toward the airport, the familiar hum of the wheels against the pavement a comforting background noise to the awkward silence that had settled around me. I could feel the weight of my classmates’ stares, their curiosity palpable. The girl who had been talking about Matt was still looking at me, trying to process what I’d just said.

“You know him?” she asked, her voice quieter now, more in awe than disbelief.

“Yeah,” I said casually, trying to hide the rush of emotions that were swirling inside me. “He's, uh, kind of a big deal in hockey. I mean, not just in New York, either.”

She looked down at her phone again, scanning the pictures. Her seatmate, who had barely seemed interested before, now leaned forward.

“Wait a minute,” he said, suddenly more engaged. “You’re saying you know the guy in the picture, like for real?”

I raise an eyebrow “What? No, I’m friends with a bunch of the hockey guys. I just know when players are famous. This guy’s like a huge fighter, gets kicked out of games all the time. I just happen to recognise him from the news.”

“What news?” the girl asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

“He’s just one of those guys that pops up in highlights a lot, you know? The big hits, the fights—stuff like that gets shared everywhere.” I shrugged, keeping my tone casual.

“Wait,” the guy next to her said, leaning in slightly. “You follow hockey? Like, actually follow it?”

I hesitated, suddenly aware that I’d said too much. “Not really,” I lied, hoping to downplay it. “I’ve just… been around it enough to pick up some things.”

“Been around it how?” the girl asked, still skeptical but clearly intrigued.

“Uh, my cousin’s super into it,” I said quickly, grasping for an explanation that wouldn’t sound suspicious. “He drags me to games and talks about it nonstop, so I end up knowing more than I care to admit.”

The girl nodded slowly, seeming to buy the story. “Huh. That makes sense, I guess. Still, it’s kind of impressive that you recognized him so fast.”

“Yeah,” the guy added, giving me a curious look. “Most people wouldn’t even know who he is, let alone the fact that he’s a fighter.”

I shrugged again, trying to brush it off. “Like I said, highlights. Plus, the hockey world isn’t that big. You hear names and start connecting the dots.”

The two of them exchanged a glance but didn’t push the conversation any further. I could feel the tension in my shoulders ease as their curiosity shifted elsewhere.

Filled with the usual chatter about flights, plans for when we got home, and last-minute souvenirs people wished they’d bought. I stayed mostly quiet, I pulled out my phone, unable to resist texting Matt about the interaction.

ME: So, a girl on this bus thinks you're hot.

His reply came almost immediately.

MATT: Is it you? 😉

I rolled my eyes, biting back a laugh as I typed a response.

ME: No, not me.

A pause, then his next text popped up.

MATT: Oh 😑

I couldn’t help it—I burst out laughing, earning a few curious looks from my classmates. Covering my mouth, I quickly typed another message.

ME: Don’t look so disappointed. You’ve got plenty of admirers, apparently. MATT: Yeah, but only one that matters.

I stared at the screen, my smile softening. Despite everything, Matt had a way of making me feel like the center of his world, even from miles away.

ME: Smooth, Rempe. MATT: Just honest.

I shook my head, the thought of him sitting wherever he was, probably grinning at his phone too, was enough to make my heart feel lighter.

MATT: I don’t know what’s weirder, you not calling me Manhattan… or the fact that I’m still calling you San Diego.

I snorted, earning a glance from my friend across the aisle, which I quickly waved off.

ME: Well, you are Matt now. Guess I need to adjust. MATT: Adjust? You’re acting like this is a big change. ME: It kind of is! You went from a mystery nickname to being an actual recognisable person. That’s a lot. MATT: Fair. But for the record, you’ll always be San Diego to me. It suits you.

I rolled my eyes, feeling the familiar warmth creep into my chest that his texts always seemed to bring.

ME: What does that even mean? MATT: It means you’re sunny, laid-back, and somehow manage to leave me speechless half the time.

My cheeks burned, and I shook my head at his unabashed flirting.

ME: You’re impossible. MATT: And yet, you’re still texting me. ME: …Point taken. ME: I guess Manhattan suits you too then. Big, flashy, kind of impossible to ignore. MATT: So... do I get to know your real identity yet, Batman?

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

to be continued... hehehe

[stone-stars]

in which murph has a very normal time at the hands of his players

Transcript:

Murph: Wel-come back to Bahumia everybody! [Jake, Emily, and Caldwell echo him with "Bahumia!". Caldwell sounds incredibly enthusiastic.] Murph: He's so excited! Caldwell Tanner, thanks for being here. Caldwell: Ye-ah! Murph: It's not your turn yet, dude! Caldwell: I'm so sorry sir! Murph: Okay? I'm your Dungeon Master Brian Murphy, joined by Jake Hurwitz-- Caldwell: Bahumia! Jake: [laughs] Hey! Dude! Murph: Caldwell! Caldwell: Sorry! Emily: [laughs] Bahumia! Bahumia! Jake: I'm trying to rhyme, man! Murph: Quit stepping on him with your enthusiasm! Caldwell: I'm just so ready to go! Emily: Bahumia! Jake: I worked really hard on this. I di-- [sighs] well forget it. Fuckin' forget it. Murph: No you gotta! Emily: Bahumia! [Overlapping crosstalk as Caldwell and Murph encourage Jake.] Caldwell: You've got this. Murph: You got this. Jake, go ahead, don't let these two enthusiasms get in your way, alright? Jake: Yeah. Alright, no, yeah. I got this. I got this. Yeah. Caldwell: Whoo! He's got this! Jake: Fighting alongside-- Caldwell: You've got this man! Do it! Murph: Stop! You have to stop! Jake: I know I got it! I'm doin' it! (Calder voice) Fighting alongside a frog and a bard with my brand new sword, Shard. [Emily and Caldwell laugh.] Murph: Yeah! Pretty good. I do feel like we built it up though, at a certain point. And there was just-- there was no way you could fully deliver. Jake: Yeah. It would've been perfect if I got it out clean right up top as soon as you introed. Murph: Yeah, if we did a super low energy intro. [Jake: M-hm. Yeah.] Caldwell: I think it was great man, I think it was amazing, I can't wait to hear it again! Murph: Who is this person. And then of course we've got Emily Axford-- Emily: Bahumia! [Everyone laughs. The others continue laughing harder as Murph talks.] Murph: Ohh. Okay?? That's the name of the world. Her character's name is Calliope Petrichor. If for some reason episode 57 of campaign 3 is the first thing you've listened to. That's Emily Axford. (laughing) She plays Calliope Petrichor. She did say before we started, I think almost as a counter-bit to Emily's bit, before we started (laughing) Emily said "I'm not gonna do a rhyme I don't feel like it." And I said "wild energy to bring into the episode!" so Caldwell went the opposite and went overenthusiastic. They're just fucking with me! Everything we do is just an inside joke to make me upset. Caldwell: And now you're caught up! Murph: Yeah, and now we're caught up. Caldwell: Bahumia! Murph: And-- [laughs] and Bahumia. And-- Uh, and then of course we've got Caldwell Tanner-- Jake: (yelling) Bahumia! Emily: Yeah!!! Jake's in on it!! Caldwell: See, it feels good! It feels good. Murph: Okay. Caldwell Tanner, of course, plays Sol-- Caldwell: Ohhh, Sol Bufo [Murph: Okay.] I'm feeling fine, just found out I'm two of a kind, [Emily: ooh!] and now I'm gonna go and find out if Swag's still alive. I'm really trying to thrive here. Bahumia. [The others laugh. As they talk, Caldwell laughs too.] Murph: You lost me. But you had me for a moment. And that's more that can be said for the other guys. Jake: Wow. Emily: Bahumia. Murph: [laughs] Bahumia. Jake: Bahumia, guys. Murph: Sure. Hey guys, Bahumia. We did it. We did it everyone. Alright? Everyone settle. Settle? Okay?

[The others sigh as if relaxing, and chorus "yeah."] Murph: Ready? Alright. Let's do-- let's do-- Caldwell: Eldermourne. Murph: Not the right campaign. Not the correct campaign. Caldwell: Shit, sorry. Murph: Let's go ahead and do a little-- [laughs as Emily interrupts him] recap-- Emily: That's Calliope's middle name. [Everyone laughing.] Murph: (through laughter) Shut. The fuck up. Everyone. Alright. [Pause as everyone continues to laugh.] Jake: S-- sorry. Murph: So last time, you left Calder's home to pursue Gowan to the Ice Knife, but received a call from Albin along the way-- [laughs] Shut up, dude. Jake: Bahumia. Bahumia. [Everyone laughs.] Murph: This is precious information! Jake: Bahumia! Emily: Bahumia! Bahumia. Caldwell: (exaggerated) Bahumia! Murph: Yeah, okay. You guys are like pokemon now? [The others laugh.] Okay. Alright. Worst bit ever. Okay. [Jake: Bahumia] You recieved a message from Albin--

Murph: -- You were greeted by a ghostly message in the ice that said Friends… Murph and Emily: Betray! Emily: I remember! Murph: You remember. Good job, Em. Jake: Holy shit. She's back. Murph: You get a sticker. Emily: I wrote it in my notebook. Murph: Very good! [Emily: Yeah, yeah, yeah.] That almost makes up to your behavior for the first three minutes of the show [The others laugh.]

Murph: And that's where we are now. Caldwell: Alright! All my real betrayal heads get ready! Emily: Yeah! Caldwell: This is where it starts! Murph: [laughs] Shut up. All of you. [Everyone laughs.] Caldwell: (through laughter) I can't. I have to talk for another hour at least. I'm so sorry. Murph: It's all good. Alright. So--

Murph: Sweet, well we'll talk more about this over on our Patreon. That's patreon.com/naddpod that's N-A-D-D-P-O-D-don't sing yet-- [Emily and Jake start to sing "We"] Caldwell: Bahumia! Murph: Yeah, remember that. [laughs] D-- Do you guys remember that? Uh-- Emily: Bahumia! Caldwell: What are you talking about, man? Murph: Bahumia! Does anyone else have anything they'd like to plug? Emily: Bahumia! Murph: Bahumia, yeah. Jake: Oh, yeah, I would love to plug Bahumia. Murph: Yeah. Check it out. Campaign 1, campaign 3. Caldwell: The world. Emily: Oh! [Murph: uh-huh] Uh, actually can I plug Bahumia? Murph: Great. Really good job, guys. Awesome. Caldwell: It's an incredible world. Incredible place. [Murph: yep!] Check out all of the incredible environs there. Murph: Yeah. Check it out. Uh- You can follow us on, uh-- Emily: Bahumia. Murph: You can follow us on social media that we may or may not use. @ chmurph's me, @ caldy's Caldwell, @ eaxford's Emily-- [Emily: @ bahumia] -- @ jakehurwitz is Jake-- Jake: I'm actually-- I'm actually @ bahumia. Murph: Follow our campaigns on Bahumia-- Emily: I'm also @ bahumia. Murph: I don't think you are. And you can tweet about the show using #naddpod that's N-A-D-D-P-O-D. [They sing "We are, We are" as the audio fades out, but Caldwell and Jake replace the words with "Bahumia"]

[leohnoz]

Leaders 2 + Edits

MORE leaders (or adjacent) from clangen blogs i follow! First post here

TW for flashing/flickering in the video, blood, and eyestrain for close-ups. Those close-ups, credit @'s, timestamps and extras below.

0:00 - Splinterstar, 0:38 - Amberstar/feather, 2:57 - Honeystar

@songclangen

1:02 - Cinnamonstar

@silkclan

1:37 - Ashpaw/sight

@ashpaw-is-alone

2:01 - Rapidstar

@horizonclansfate

2:30 - Dancingstar, 2:39 - Partridgestar

@silverclangen

3:25 - Poppypaw

@lostclanwc

3:41 - Kestrelstar

@echoes-in-echoclan

4:08 - Froststar, 4:35 - Branchstar II, 5:14 - Brindlestar

@through-frost-and-flames

5:38 - Fallenstar

@poppyclangen

6:16 - Pearlstar

@aphidclan-clangen

7:05 - Shadestar

@tidalclan

7:29 - Flyquiver/star

@clanoflotus-clangen

7:54 - Pythonback

@rise-of-littleclan

8:16 - Brownleaf

@the-path-of-dreamers

9:02 - Leapstar

@nectarclan

9:48 - Messing with backgrounds

Notes:

-forgot to save the image without my watermark on all the cats... so had to go back and redo it all

-redrew Twistedeyes because of the 3d effect on her, and redo Fogstars/Foamstars fade effects

-generally fixing little mistakes from the first batch

-had to go back thru Songclangen because HONEYSTAR

-lots of forgetting to resize these cats

-forgot to record for a few

-went back and fixed Leapstars face, didn't like it

-messed around with placements a lot

Edits:

@fallenclan, @whispering-clan, @juniper-clan, @we-are-dogclan, @bitterclan

[undertale-npcs]

Undertale NPCs tournament Round 2 summary

Round 2 finished up a while ago! Let's catch up on what happened...

The new characters, understandably, were generally more popular than the round 1 NPCs. There are also maybe 1 or 2 outliers who need to be wrangled in, lest they dominate forever. The man says two words the whole game... Let's check out some points of interest:

The most popular character of Round 2 was:

Onionsan!

Onionsan (60.9%) won against Inn Kid (39.1%) with 1556 votes. I have to assume it's because they are an unavoidable encounter. Everyone has interacted with them so many people know them. Maybe. I genuinely don't get it. This was also the { Most Popular Match }, with 2555 total votes!

The least popular character of Round 2 was:

Clam Guy!

Clam Guy (4.2%) lost to River Person (95.8%) with only 51 votes! I think he had the opposite problem as Onionsan, you have to backtrack to a room you have no reason to backtrack through to see him. Also he only talks about water. Not very interesting! This was also the { Most Agreed Upon Match } ! Probably because he was paired with River Person.

The least popular match of Round 1 was:

Fourth Froggit (66.5%) vs Scarf Lady (33.5%)

This match ended up having 653 votes, and was match 26/32. The amount of votes this had is way larger than the first round! I'm glad :) Both of these characters are kinda nothing but I was surprised there wasn't a bigger following for the wall Froggits.

Thank you for your participation!

I should have a summary of Losers Round 1 up soon. Tomorrow perhaps? And Losers Round 2 will be starting later after that!

And, for the nerds, under the cut are the stats for each poll of round 2:

Match 1 | 1005 votes Red Thundersnail 15.9% vs Nice Cream Guy 84.1%

Match 2 | 923 votes Library Loox 24.6% vs Wrap Mouse 75.4%

Match 3 | 1003 votes Business Snail 38.3% vs Politics Bear 61.7%

Match 4 | 1094 votes Cinnamon 34.2% vs Goner Kid 65.8&

Match 5 | 1337 votes Distant Guy 28.8% vs Dress Lion 71.2%

Match 6 | 1158 votes Inn Rabbit 56.1% vs Nacarat Jester 43.9%

Match 7 | 1008 votes Snowdrake's Dad 33.7% vs Ragel 66.3%

Match 8 | 959 votes Wall Eyes 59.9% vs Oni 40.1%

Match 9 | 2151 votes Ruins Mouse 44.9% vs Heat Flamesman 55.1%

Match 10 | 1097 votes Library Lizard 46.6% vs Donut Guy 53.4%

Match 11 | 952 votes Fox Head 27.3% vs Loren 72.7%

Match 12 | 946 votes Hotland Mouse 43% vs Rabbit Girl 57%

Match 13 | 1063 votes Echo Flower Explainer 16.1% vs Grillby 83.9%

Match 14 | 954 votes Gift Bear 70.3% vs Hotdog Harpy 29.7%

Match 15 | 1174 votes Box Lover 25.7% vs Ice Wolf 74.3%

Match 16 | 934 votes Resort Janitor 79.1% vs Wisp-like Business Dude 20.9%

Match 17 | 1316 votes Ferry 18.8% vs Bird That Carries You Over A Disproportionately Small Gap 81.2%

Match 18 | 771 votes Homeless Snail 34.9% vs Wrong Number Song Guy 65.1%

Match 19 | 903 votes Skateboard Girl 51.9% vs Drunk Bun 48.1%

Match 20 | 821 votes Big Mouth 28.6% vs Fuku Fuku Fire 71.4%

Match 21 | 2555 votes Inn Kid 39.1% vs Onionsan 60.9%

Match 22 | 930 votes Father Slime 68.1% vs Kid Slime (unhatted) 31.9%

Match 23 | 951 votes Waterfall Mouse 23.8% vs Snowman 76.2%

Match 24 | 1015 votes Watching Man 88.8% vs Hand Receptionist 11.2%

Match 25 | 1509 votes Thundersnail 54.7% vs Clam Girl 45.3%

Match 26 | 653 votes Fourth Froggit 66.5% vs Scarf Lady 33.5%

Match 27 | 887 votes Snowdin Mouse 60.9% vs Ficus Licker 39.1%

Match 28 | 658 votes Hotland Bakesale Spiders 66.3% vs Rabbit Kid 33.7%

Match 29 | 1220 votes Clam Guy 4.2% vs River Person 95.8%

Match 30 | 863 votes Ruins Bakesale Spiders 62.6% vs Snoring Guys 37.4%

Match 31 | 978 votes Red Bird 52.1% vs Business Manticore 47.9%

Match 32 | 1065 votes FOLLOWER 3 40% vs Rock 60%

[defjux]

64 of my favorite Hip Hop releases of 2024 Anything outside of the top 20-30 the order doesn't really matter much, but I think all of these releases are dope and worth your time. I'll post another list soon with the rest of my favorite albums from this year in other genres, but the hip hop list is tradition for me at this point. Hopefully there's something new here for you to enjoy. I'm sure there's a few releases that went under the radar for me, so if anyone has suggestions i'm all ears. As always, the album titles below will have the bandcamp link/spotify url as a hyperlink if either are available. Oh yeah, feel free to let me know what your favorite albums of the year were, i'd like to know - any genre, it doesn't have to just be hip hop. Peace. Chart with Album Titles included

1. ELUCID - REVELATOR 2. Ka - The Thief Next To Jesus 3. AKAI SOLO - DREAMDROPDRAGON 4. Mach-Hammy - #RICHAXXHAITIAN 5. Cavalier - Different Type Time 6. The Fortunate Ones (Anwar HighSigh & Dr. Quandary) - RESIN 7. Armand Hammer - BLK LBL 8. Kenny Segal & K-The-I??? - Genuine Dexterity 9. ShrapKnel - Nobody Planning To Leave 10. Sunmundi & klwn cat - Lived and Born 11. Nakama - EMBERGO_ 12. Lee Scott - To Tame A Dead Horse 13. Dead Players - Faster Than the Speed of Death 14. Oliver The 2nd & Heather Grey - Desert Camo 15. Navy Blue - Memoirs in Armour 16. Nuse Tyrant - Juxtaposed Echoes 17. Phiik & Lungs - Carrot Season 18. Nickelus F - MMCHT 19. DJ Muggs & Raz Fresco - The Eternal Now 20. Joshua Virtue - Black Box: JOSHUA IS DEAD

21. Duncecap & Steel Tipped Dove - The Need To Know 22. Jak Tripper - The Wild Dark 23. Mary Sue - Voice Memos From A Winter In China 24. Midnight Sons - Money Has No Owners 25. Revival Season - Golden Age Of Self Snitching 26. JPEGMAFIA - I LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU 27. Boldy James & Conductor Williams - Across The Tracks 28. Sasco - The Hottest Year on Record 29. yungmorpheus - WAKING UP AND CHOOSING VIOLENCE 30. Hester Valentine - Valenta 31. Deca & Deal. - Bough 32. Serengeti - KDIV 33. Mavi - Shadowbox 34. cunabear - What Dollar$ Can't Buy You 35. Rap Man Gavin & postureless - Memories, Dreams, Reflections 36. Sadistik & Maulskull - Oblivion Theater 37. Oddisee - And Yet Still 38. Roc Marciano - MARCIOLOGY 39. Noveliss & Hir-O - Cyberpunk Rhapsody 40. Tyler, the Creator - Chromakopia 41. Rich Jones & SINAI. - Sour Dub 42. Freddie Gibbs - You Only Die 1nce 43. Vince Staples - Dark Times 44. Javi Darko - DEATH OF AN IMMORTAL 45. bromethugzine - THUG ZINE issue 002: WORLD-SPIRIT 46. Teller Bank$ & Ed Glorious - The Pride & Glory 47. Nxworries - WHY LAWD? 48. Cavalier & Quelle Chris - Death Tape 2 49. R.A.P. Ferreira - The First Fist to Make Contact When We Dap 50. Lupe Fiasco - Samurai 51. Lt Headtrip X Bloodmoney Perez - EMBLEMS 52. Chuck Strangers - A Forsaken Lover's Plea 53. Daniel Son & Futurewave - BUSHMAN BODEGA 54. MIKE & Tony Seltzer - Pinball 55. Kendrick Lamar - GNX 56. Estee Nack - SYSTEMATICALLY WE WERE NEVER FREE 57. Ja'king the Divine - Children of the Scorned 58. Big Flowers x Messiah Musik - Save The Bees 59. Shape - Midnight Geometry 60. Sleep Sinatra & bloomcycle - Memory(ummm…) 61. Skyzoo - Keep Me Company 62. Common & Pete Rock - The Auditorium, Vol. 1 63. NAHreally & The Expert - BLIP 64. IMP - Idle Hands