#3 different friend groups
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so like do i kms or what
#im having an evil nagito komaeda hand moment#im turning into the jonkler#i dont even know why i feel like this nothing HAPPENED#LITERALLY NOTHING#ok well maybe Something#i just feel super unwanted and left out bc i havent been able to hang out w any of my friends for like 2 months#and ive been asking and letting them know when im free and suggesting places we can go/things we can do#and theyre always like 'yeah' then reschedule or just say no#and i get they might have plans but i swear ive asked about 10 times#3 different friend groups#and nothing!!! no biters!!!#and i feel like one of my friends only hangs out w me when im the one paying like we'll go to a concert or movie#and he'll only go when IM the one paying for it otherwise he never suggests anything#like he went to a concert recently and didnt even mention it to me even tho whenever i go to a concert i offer him to come along#and it was for a band i liked and idk it just :( idk it bothered me that he didnt even ask#maybe im too nice but i ALWAYS ask if other people want to come w me to things and he never does and i think if i stopped we would never +#hang out
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SHARENA WEEK DAY 3!!!!
An artist working on her largest canvas yet! The design is truly impeccable; proven by how if they were not sitting, it would have taken Kiran out at the knees.
#Ignore how this is the day four prompt. My wrist started bothering me so I need more time for day 3#But in other news! Them! Being friends!#This is going to be a running theme for a few of these pieces but I really wanted to show Sharena bonding with the people around her#Anna Alfonse Bruno Veronica and Kiran all strike me as different brands of loner types. Meanwhile Sharena SUPER isn't.#this is what makes her the glue of the group. She's the local extrovert who isn't hesitant about showing her care for people.#And I want to play into that. I want to show how she makes this group of lonely people less so just by being there.#feh sharena#fe sharena#sharenaweek2024#fire emblem heroes#feh#fire emblem#kiran#alfonse#feh kiran#feh alfonse#feh summoner#fe alfonse#fe kiran#art tag
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i need to crawl into his skin and become him
#isabeau#isabeau isat#in stars and time#isat#fanart#that's it that's the caption#i've introduced my group of friends to isat through the power of vaing games for fun#(we had done so previously with other games and will continue to do so)#and i've got 3 out of 4 of them hyperfixated on it so much we're playing it again (with someone else in control) with different roles#the one remaining fixates differently he's neck deep into edf 6 :P#this next round i'm voicing isabeau (as opposed to bonnie) and i'm totally not using it as an excuse for voice training#no nah nope nadda totally not at all (a mantra echoes in my head- become him become him become him)#me when i'm also mira and have to jump between a deep voice to a higher pitched one in seconds flat
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the kids are (not) alright.
full view + commentary under the cut:
from l to r: tristan / cei / percy / kvornan & kiernan
the finished lineup of the wormwood siblings after many hours of manic brainstorming, so here's a short description of each:
tristan wormwood (24):
the eldest of the wormwood brood, tristan was, for a lack of better words, an oops baby. while he was very bright and believed to be on the path of academic success, he was a quiet and unassuming child. tristan was very protective of his younger siblings and was prone to put their needs before his, taking his duty as the older brother and hector's helper seriously. after being traumatically separated from their parents and facing a bleak reality without them, the teenaged tristan couldn't take the pressure of being a caregiver for his siblings, so he coped by withdrawing from everyone. his grades dropped severely, and he eventually stopped going to school, instead staying locked in his room for the next 5 years. now as a young adult, tristan has a tendency to wander around or stay inside his aunt's residence, and his relationship with his siblings continue to be strained, especially with cei and percy, who take their respective anger and frustration out on him. he has an on-again, off-again romantic relationship with a girl named ysolt. tristan took after his mother elaine and her fear of commitment, so it doesn't come to a surprise that he would flake out every now and again. fun facts: 1. at 6'4, tristan is both the tallest sibling and tallest relative of the wormwood clan 2. as the firstborn son, he is the first (but not the last) male descendant of the 300-year-old matrilineal family tree 3. tristan is the Denial stage of the five stages of grief 4. tristan strongly resembles elaine, so he avoids mirrors
cei wormwood (23):
the second son of the wormwood brood, cei (pronounced as 'kay') was born in the same calendar year as tristan with the intention being that tristan wouldn't be alone and have a sibling to play with. the opposite of tristan personality-wise, cei was an energetic, boisterous, and mischievous child who often cried for elaine to come home. because he was so close in age to tristan, the two brothers were thick as thieves for the years before their younger siblings' arrivals. he always followed after tristan and relied on his instructions, even if cei would break them. left adrift after the family was torn apart, cei was lost and confused. with tristan no longer involving himself with the siblings, cei's anchor he relied heavily on was gone. for the 5 years during tristan's self-isolation, cei was no longer a happy-go-lucky boy, but instead he was full of resentment and grief, and so he had to step up to the plate to be his siblings' caregiver. cei grew up angry at the world, and that anger would be misdirected to his siblings. but everyone knew the people he was angry at the most were his parents. now as an adult, cei is a student of the studium's faculty of medicine department on the behest of his aunt, at the same time working his way through school by taking night shifts at the last stand. cei is focused on creating the perfect mix of good food and good nutrition, not just for the betterment of sharlayan society, but also wanting to capture the warm and nostalgic feelings of his mother's home-cooked meals so he and his siblings could come together and enjoy dinners like they used to. fun facts: 1. cei is the only one with brown eyes, a feature he inherited from elaine 2. cei is the only one who can cook among the siblings, based on his years of being raised by their grandmother and her 'terrible' food. he often prepares their meals and takes into account what they like or don't like 3. cei was the most affected by tristan's withdrawal from the siblings, and he likes to throw hurtful comments and insults to his brother whenever he comes around, which tends to lead to arguments between the two 4. cei is the Anger of the five stages of grief
percival wormwood (19):
the only daughter and middle child of the brood, percy was originally believed to be a boy before their birth by elaine, but hector named them percival because he liked the name so much he couldn't imagine calling them anything else. stuck between 4 brothers, percy struggled to fit in, and as a result, became more of a tomboy to not feel left out. percy was extremely close to hector as a child, often being called his shadow for how often they would cling to him, perhaps in a childlike attempt to receive more attention. despite what their brothers may feel, percy carries the most guilt over what they believe caused the fall of the family, with the physical scar to prove it. for most of their teenage years, percy was used as a scapegoat for familial disagreements, their pity, and their brothers' constant fighting, and at 19 years old, percy wants nothing more to do with them, even if it means risking splitting the fractured unit further apart. as of now, percy is at a loss of what to do next. having no love for school, percy seems to be heading in the same direction as their brother tristan, something their great-aunts seem loathe to admit out loud. after being a mediator for their older brothers for most of their young life, percy wants out. fun facts: 1. percy is the only sibling with green eyes, a recessive trait from their mother's side. they resemble hector more than the others 2. percy is the Bargaining of the five stages of grief 3. percy is the only sibling that has an innate ability for magecraft, a talent carried by the wormwood clan for generations, but they never pursued learning more beyond simple parlor tricks 4. percy's nose scar is the result of hector's mental breakdown caused by halmarut's corruption (something the siblings did not know at the time), after he lashed out at them with a knife
kvornan & kiernan wormwood (16):
with their arrival being a bit of a surprise in the midst of hector and elaine's relationship troubles, the twins are the last of the wormwood brood, with kvornan being 4 minutes older than kiernan. while they were too young to remember the troubled times of the family unit, the boys carry some measure of guilt in their own ways. kvornan tries to keep his siblings together as best as he can, while kiernan keeps himself at a distance. regardless, the twins have a decent relationship with cei and percy, the four of them being closer than their eldest brother tristan. they have vague memories of their parents, and while their older siblings envy this fact, the twins envy them in turn for having the opportunity to know their parents better than them, as they usually have nothing to add whenever cei and percy discuss the more happier times. currently, kvornan is excelling in school, but kiernan tends to fall behind his more studious twin in favor of daydreaming. they now live with their brother cei in his apartment in sharlayan, but they don't need any supervision as they learned to be independent early in life. fun facts: 1. elaine wasn't there when the twins were born, so their names are different from their siblings. their names come from the wormwood clan's amdapori heritage 2. kvornan and kiernan's grief stages are flipped: kvornan is Acceptance despite being the 4th child, and kiernan is Depression despite being the last born 3. kiernan is prone to periods of selective mutism, so kvornan often has to talk for him 4. the twins are both 5'6, but are projected to grow taller than tristan in a few years
#mygposes.#meta.#ok that's all of them fr this time#this isn't anything fancy i just wanted to line them up and dump my thoughts#wifi signal siblings...#do you see my vision#the wormwood brood are based off of different forms of media but the main inspirational sources are:#1. the crain family from netflix's haunting of hill house / 2. the todorokis from bnha / 3. sunny's friend group from the video game omori#4. and the berzatto siblings from the bear
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Responding to this post as a separate post because I want to respond to something that I think is beyond the scope/intention of the original post (and honestly the scope/intention of the response in the linked post) but that, like.
I want to respond to it because it's been churning in my head.
Specifically the idea of the Protestant Work Ethic and trying to earn your way into heaven.
Because that's the very antithesis of what the Gospel is.
Over and over, it is made very clear that you cannot earn your way into heaven. (Titus 3:5 and Ephesians 2:8-9 are the ones that come immediately to mind, but there are more than that. (I also like - Romans 4 and the entire discussion about it being faith and not works and especially Romans 4:4-8.)) Literally one of the entire points is that you are stuck in your sin and you cannot get out and no matter what you do, you cannot earn your way in, but God loves you and chose you and wants you, so He paid your debt Himself (Jesus) and is giving you His righteousness - His perfection - because He was the only one who could earn His way in.
God is for you, not against you.
Are there things you should be doing? Yes. (Ephesians 2:10 talks about that, too.) But, like. It's not to earn your way in. It's out of love and gratefulness to the One who got you out of your horrible predicament? And then on top of that, made you a co-heir with Him?
Because it's...He paid for you to get in and then also you got adopted as a child of God? And someone described it once as good works after that being like when a child makes a drawing for their dad and their dad hangs it on the fridge? It's not to earn anything; it's because you love Him, too?
So, like - I want to know where the Protestant Work Ethic went wrong. Why so many people think it's about earning their way when it isn't that at all.
It's a gift. It was always a gift.
#musings#Christianity#dash commentary#and i know with my ocd and scrupulosity i get caught up in trying to do stuff to keep something i could never earn in the first place#but that's - it's so easy to get caught in that trap and it's. not. true.#and the discussion of suffering -> perseverance#man i wanted to talk about this re: nagito too because some of his stuff he brings up at the beginning of chapter 2 twists that too#(it's romans 5:3-5 btw).#but that's a different discussion imo#and it combines with my not liking the conversations that pop up on my dash every now and again about witnessing#and that we're just sending people out so that we can be told no so that we can go back to our in-group and reinforce our in-group#witnessing at its most basic isn't#it actually came up in the sermon yesterday - and one of the comparisons was like#if you invite a vegan or a dallas cowboy fan to a barbecue#you will know who these people are#if you bring up danganronpa around me i'm probably going to go off on it#witnessing AT ITS MOST BASIC is LIKE THAT#but more important?#like this is my best friend and i would like you to meet my best friend?#but also more than that?#it's not...about that#but again#that is a separate topic that wasn't brought up i'm just#spitballing now#sorry y'all this one was sitting in my mind and i just#i don't understand how the protestant work ethic got to this#which is the antithesis of the Gospel#stopping now
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I have so much admiration for you and this project. Like 1) to even come up with this idea in the first place is cool, but 2) to mcfucking execute it? And have them all come out so good? Like. Your talent. Your skill. Chefs kiss. Incredible. Hope you're having a good day.
Thank you!! 1) I used to think it was not that novel of an idea to want to crochet every Pokemon, but I've come to believe that it is actually not as common as I'd hoped. I am always searching for other people doing the same thing, and there's less than 10 I've found but as far as I can tell none are as far along as me. But also finding stuff on the internet is harder than it used to be, so there could be so many more people out there crocheting all the Pokemon and I just can't find them! (Honestly, I can't even find me and my own Pokemon that I've definitely crocheted when I use more generic search terms and search results in general are low quality anyway) 2) Thanks!! I appreciate the compliments and hope you're having a good day too! ^^
Oooh Swadloon is definitely a cutie. I made sure to get the expression right :D
#dpc asks#i grouped the two asks because i'm fairly sure they're the same anon#but yeah seriously i can't even imagine being able to find all the other people trying to crochet em all for various reasons#1) posting in different languages. especially ones with different scripts#2) websites i don't even know about or that don't have great search or indexing functions#3) straight up they could just not be posting online anywhere. or maybe only in a random ass discord server for their friends#but they've gotta be out there. i can't be the ONLY one trying to make handheld official art-style pokemon amigurumi ;-;
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worst trope is found family separating as soon as the antagonist is dealt with.
#yes this is about voltron and it's also about guardians of the galaxy#what james gunn did to gamora in GOTG3 is criminal#i understand why they did it but to end with her GOING BACK TO THE RAVAGERS?#fail end.#seriously#and it doesnt even make sense bc ofc the high evolutionary isnt going to be the last problem they would deal with#in just a few years they encountered 5 people trying to destroy the universe and who were incredibly difficult foes#youre finna tell me there will never be a situation like that for the rest of their lives?#gtfo#and mantis' end was dumb too not even sorry#i can tolerate drax and nebula's ends.#but everyone else?#stupid#even peter's ending was fucking moronic. bro can pop in on the weekends he doesnt need to be a live in nurse for his grandpa#it's just such a major letdown and sucks everytime a director/author decides to split up the found family permanently#at least with voltron you can rationalize it by saying 'oh they never really wouldve hung out with eachother if they werent forced to for#voltron and werent forced to fight a war together.' and i can see it bc none of them DO hang out together before voltron#they barely even hang out AFTER they become voltron#keith and shiro hang out bc of the adoption/fostering/mentoring thing. lance and hunk MIGHT hang out bc they were already teammates#it's important to note that we never really see hunk and lance being bffs. theyre just friendly to eachother.#this becomes even more apparent once hunk and pidge actually become friends. it's very obvious hunk was just being friendly to lance.#just friendly.#(take this with a grain of salt bc ive only watched the whole series one time. i refuse to acknowledge anything after se 2.)#so yeah it does make more sense theyd all go their own ways but not even the small friend groups stay together at the end!#pidge and hunk are in completely different galaxies from eachother. same with keith and shiro#lance is isolated from all of them bc post se 3 writing team genuinely hated him and failed him as a character.#but GOTG3? they CHOSE to band together time and time again. they CHOSE to be a team. they CHOSE to be family#for every single one of them to say 'nah fuck that i want to be on my own bc uhhh reasons!' is a lame ending.#period.#gotg3
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Peter Pettigrew is the ultimate shape-shifter friend, he will be whatever you need him to be, he's naturally uncaring and cunning and hungry for affection so if he wants to be friends with someone he'll mold himself into the ideal friend for the other person. If he's hanging around someone good he'll help old ladies cross the street, he's hanging around assholes he'll bring a lighter to help set someone's hair on fire, he'd definitely enjoy that second one more than the first but in the end it's all the same, acts to make him the most trustworthy friend till the end. He'll be caring and sweet, he'll be funny and goofy, he'll be an ass and a sneak, and you'll never know unless he wants you to
#i love peter#but he'd be such a shapeshifter#he's the type to have 3 different friend groups#and act completely different with all of them#he's kinda real for that tho#that was middle school me#rare peter post#peter pettigrew#marauders#marauders era
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ive had. an insane night
#beginning of the night got roped into speaking russian with a guy my friend's talking to while i was plastered#later had to help a different friend get back home while she was sobbing her eyes out because she drank too much and wasnt feeling it anymo#ALMOST. made out with another girl solely on the basis of us both being bald and also she was really hot BUT HER FRIEND INTERRUPTED.#fully got left behind by all the friends i showed up w and had to tag along with a group of ppl from my major i only sorta know#got pulled over. friend got breathalyzed because his plate expired 2 years ago and he made like 3 illegal turns#SOMEHOW DIDNT GET TICKETED ? i honestly think its cuz my friend driving was sober and it started raining and the cop just wanted to leave#he didnt even say anything about there being 5 of us crammed into the backseat#anyway. eventful night. i am home now#and i checked the sharks score in the middle of the dancefloor earlier and im kind of in hysterics what happened we lost the divorce so bad#AND I MADE AMENDS W MY EX WHO I HADNT SPOKEN TO IN A YEAR. I ALMSOT FORGOT#m.txt
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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got dumped 😭💔
#fuuuuuuuuuuck#i have literally never felt this way abt anyone in my life and thought i was incapable of love before i started dating him#and i finally was so happy like yes this is how its supposed to feel#and i knew he was less sure and was busy with work but i thought it would all work out with a little time 💔#but he said our interests are different and he's too busy with work and wants to just be friends#tbh he's busy with more than work he was always going to be busy doing other things for fun too that i couldn't have kept up with#like climbing mountains and shit#but still thought it could work#at first i almost didnt date him because of it then i was like maybe its an unfair assumption that it wouldn't work#and that he wouldn't be able or willing to prioritize a relationship#so i took the risk and got myself hurt 🤡#now we have to be friends after this shit......#and i know thats something people say but i think we could actually do it#and if we did there's a chance we could get back together#but idk#there's no real way to avoid him or some pretense of friendship anyway since he's a permanent fixture of the friend group#unless i abandon the whole group over it which would be extreme#anyway crushed devastated etc#genuinely i am unlovable and will never trust anyone again <3
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there are two wolves inside of you. One of them is fretting that you went through all the effort of making a new art account just to pigeonhole yourself once more into a specific fandom, which holds you back from exploring original art concepts that you care about. The other one came up with three separate ace attorney comic ideas in the last hour alone and isn't stopping anytime soon
#laurellala talks#am i unwell? perhaps#i also drew like 5 more sketchy comics i haven't posted#and a full colored drawing i haven't posted bc i'm overthinking if i need to attach comics to it also or post on its own#i want to draw more muppets interactions and come up with an actual theoretical muppets ace attorney case!#they would get to explore the muppet studio as a location aaa it would be so cuteee#and i'm in the middle of drawing a comic of miles and nick video calling and teasing a young trucy (i love trucy)#and i NEED to draw nick and maya interactions from trials and tribulations case 3 it's so sibling coded agh my heart#also i want to draw lisa basil in general the roboty software company lady#i want to design an ace attorney self insert called Laurel Lyre (you're a liar) and draw sprite expressions and character interactions#she would be an art student that Nick knew from college and she was painting a still life of the scene of the crime#and her painting has something different than how the crime scene looked which is used as proof in court#ALSOOO i had an idea for a silly comic of nick visiting miles in germany (platonic coded)#and of either a comic or short story idea of them going out to dinner together. This one is hard to explain but it would be good#I WANT TO DRAW FRANZISKA TOO i have an angst comic idea for her! And i want to draw her as a kid in dance class#i feel like she has so much scrutiny of herself which is very “i was in dance as a kid” coded. Ballet probably#I ALSO have a comic idea of a holiday party that took place before miles' murder trial but after steel samurai case#where miles begrudgingly talks to phoenix to avoid small talk with strangers and they talk about college#specifically like. it is canon to me that phoenix was in an improv group in college. That's where he learned to bluff. he's so silly#i also want to make a comic of the parents at trucy's school trying to sus out how old nick is#since he's only like what 17 years older than her?#I also want to make a gilmore girls joke but i can't tell if this is too dated to be funny. Do people know this show still#i had never watched it before so i just watched like half a season of it just to make a joke. It's cute.#What Else. I have like 5 animatic ideas but i need to ask my friend what she uses to make hers bc in the past I've used imovie on my phone#do not recommend#and if i don't draw everything RIGHT NOW i'm going to lose interest and nothing will get made!!!!!!#andandand I STILL NEED TO FINISH TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONSSSSS#i got sooo far i'm doing so well in the waitress case#i need to finish it so i can finally understand apollo justice and know what the HECK happened in that time skip#ace attorney
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love/hate being so invested in my da canon. this shit is so dumb I have to cry
#I keep thinking about the fact that this might be the first group of companions that really stay in contact regularly after saving the world#and i keep thinking about loua making sure to use her connection w solas to keep checking in on him and rome#and essentially delivering their mail#and then like loua kind of traveling all over thedas using the eluvians#to help as much as possible#and dorian giving her and neve a magisterium seat and her desperately learning to lead in that way#and then her traveling to kirkwall and meeting hawke#and isabela would go with her to soothe like the awkwardness of it all#and talking to Allison about varric and rome and everything that happened#and allison who ended up so close to the inquisitor bc they bonded as people forced into these devastating situations#is like ‘i know the road you’re walking is difficult. but I cannot be any sort of friend/guide to you as you navigate this’#bc hoo BOY she takes it bad that varric and rome are gone#and loua is like trying not to cry even though that’s not quite what she wanted but she’s like ‘got it. Noted’#(bc secretly she does feel like she needs someone to walk her through what it means to be a hero to the world’#and she def didn’t realize that allison would see that and just SAY no to her)#and down the line she works w like#leliana and josephine and she meets sten#bc I crave the overlap of the world I crave the cr campaign 3-ification of these stories where they all must meet#and in different capacities she works w her own team and the established teams that exist to fix problems all over thedas#and eventually she goes to briala and somehow organically it comes up that she saw solas’ memories and felassan has been this presence#that’s looked over all they’ve done#loomed******#and briala is like ‘……. hm?’#anyways rook goes from a scrappy wet dog to one of the worlds most impactful heroes#and i love that#c: loua mercar
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Shout out to Odile for inspiring my political major friend to draw her here's the last picture I showed him before he gave me his sketch which I interpret as the final nail in the coffin
Odile be hitting different in the friend group-
#odile#odile isat#in stars and time#isat#fanart#odile truly be hitting different#this is more my style than the other sketches but also i didn't give her a nose or lips like i might usually#so like 50/50 maybe lmao#despite that no one got giggly over odile's hurt portrait (then again- our isat group has like 3 aroaces)#just like savvy i have a version of her normally and there is another version :) (airplane)#old woman bbygurl she should be in yuri with someone#but that is between me and my friend and also an entire separate friend i show special art to#who has seen other art :) with other characters :) and xenobiology headcanons in physical form :)
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I'm not saying I'm officially back, but I've queued autumn & halloween things for this month, as well as some new tiktoks after that. thank you for all the kind asks- I have seen them all and I appreciate you <3
#not asmr#a year ago I moved and it was exhausting#then broke up with my ex#then got a new big friend group and was hanging out with them a ton#then I got really into makeup and taking pictures and going to events#then I started causally seeing people#and then I cancelled my premiere subscription to save money#I just got busy and I also don't use tumblr anymore tbh#hope everyone has been doing okay#thank you for all the messages and concern <3#been thinking about posting on my asmr tiktok more? unsure but maybe...#tumblr feels so different too what happened here#text post#about me
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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