#2019 wrap up
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at some point in my life i should probablyyyyyy unpack just how badly being on tumblr during peak ace discourse years fucked me up bc i would dearly like to just move on and forget that shit ever happened but unfortunately it's literally Always There. it's the reason i'm Like This on here. and sometimes i'll think to myself "now why do i always feel so uncomfortable and unwelcome and on edge in queer spaces / online spaces / fandom spaces etc etc" and then think about what the answer to that question might Possibly be and go Oh. Yeah. That thing. really this is probably something i should talk about with like a counsellor or something but well how the hell am i even meant to explain any of this to anyone who wasn't a terminally online 16 year old in 2017.
#like it really is the whole reason i'm like this esp when it comes to how i feel about fandom spaces#and ESPECIALLY being back in buffyverse fandom bc oh man#idk if it was just the general 2019 tumblr culture or if i just had really bad luck or if it was genuinely a fandom problem#but btvs fandom my first go around was BAD bad for that. at no point did i feel safe or welcome there#and like it's better now for sure but still. could be having a better time all things considered#oh yeah also i know i say ace discourse in this post but this is also 100% about aromanticism they were all wrapped up together#in The Discourse#ifer rambles
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been thinking about tpn a lot recently and Ray has been giving me he/they vibes
of course he would have blue(-tinted) hair and pronouns
#TPN Committee @ CloverWorks: ok so you're going to have to horribly butcher this season so we can wrap up the story in 11eps#just absolutely mangle it#it's gonna be the rush job of the decade like the 180° from darling of Winter 2019 to laughingstock of Winter 2021#we've no time to spare just get it done#whichever animators were in charge of Ray:#*looking at each other and damning w/e orders they received from above they would make sure their boy looked GOOD*#so much respect for them#throughout this whole scene tbh#even if it and all the other night scenes are so fucking 𝔻 𝔸 ℝ 𝕂#maybe it was to hide more animation oddities but jfc it is so hard to see without editing it#same thing when they're in the temple or the scenes in Isabella's cell#anyways more TPN thoughts are always good so good on you anon 👏#FSS Asks#FSS Shenanigans#TPN S2#TPN S2e06#TPN Ray#YnN Ray#Ray#Imperial Capital Battle Arc
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btw one of the things i want to do when i really rap up atbb for real is spontaneously get the energy at will to do actual updated fullbodies of the main 4 since now i actually have the ability to draw them the way they look in my head & have the skills to put some more variety in their shapes. basically i wanna
#warning big character design rambling in these tags but like. were u expecting any less#if ur wondering what changed-#first of all everybody has bigger hands bc i'm actively deciding to commit to that decision because i like it :3#next russ is a bit taller . i'll probably change some other things like making his armor look more solid & making him look more frail#-without it but i dont wanna pick up my tablet rn so thats all i feel like editing with my mouse lmao#edge has the biggest changes mostly in just being Wider. i want to make him Look stronger yknow#currently its just one of those annoying “skinny anime girl actually has 2d spraypainted abs and can lift a truck” tropes that i Hate#its a lil too many triangles when he should really be more like a triangle-flavored square. yknow#that being said the weirdly feminine hips were not intentional but only time will tell if they make it into the actual final design or not#i will not be making his pauldrons wider than they were originally. those things are already wacking everything around him they're fine#fluff's change is just being a bit skinnier so he looks more pathetic and sad. probably gonna try to make him look a bit younger too#but age is hard to represent with skeletons from The Land Of Sharp Features#i might also change up his pants/shoes more idk. Baggy Everything makes a very difficult silhouette and the boots are just boring tbhh#they're the bi flag but i dont think a single person has ever noticed lmao#and stretch's biggest change is that he's going to Have A Fullbody Reference That Isn't From 2019#probably make his hoodie longer/looser so i can make the transition to the leggings less awkward & show off his tank under it a bit more#the leggings & sneakers get to stay tho i think. the red wraps the design up well & the chicken legs are funny to me :>#and karma isn't here but he'll probably also get an update to be more square as well. and NOT SKINNYYYYYY#i gotta cram some more emotional repression & inferiority complex hints into his outfit so his post-void look contrasts more its IMPORTANT#AND ALSO NEVER USE UNDERTALE SPRITES AS A REFERENCE FOR ARMOR EVER EVER EVER AGAIN#that being said im really excited to one day finally sit down and draw his post-void design i think i'll have fun with that one#theres a reason my sf bros dont really fit their “roles” in the au yet like undyne & alphys do. hehehe#basically to sum up all these tags: becoming more skilled at art is a curse because you KNOW you can do things better now
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#I've had the most incredible couple years career wise#and like there have been some pitfalls etc#but like overall the amount of growth and how much money I've saved and established myself financially is insane#it would send 2019 me into a fucking coma#but everything and I mean EVERYTHING is just tumbling down down down#idk how I feel about touring I can't decide#and the music industry is dead until March anyway#my Etsy shop is effectively dead#I just lost a graphic design gig and like the person they hired instead of me did an undeniably 10x better job#and I feel like I have kind of lost the language in that regard like I used to feel like I was pretty Up There in terms of skill#but Ive just fallen very far behind people as new technology becomes available and I don't adapt and I lose track of where to get assets et#and couldnt find them if I did because. algorithm and social feeds and how rapidly we are losing the ability to archive in this internet ag#this is also true for my photo work and editing#so I genuinely don't know WHERE people are learning from#and idek WHERE to go to learn to get my knowledge up to date bc all search engines are bad and fucking algorithm-y#it's been too long since I've bartended I feel like I've lost the muscle memory of those skills#and idk if I could get rehired at a place like my bar in Melbourne short of a miracle because that whole place in my life WAS a miracle#and like idk what tf to do#I feel like I'm just floating through time and space with absolutely no purpose right now#and no income either! like what the fuck do I even do#how tf do I even fix this when I feel completely directionless#and all the things that fuel me have dried up?#and after how good things have been and how BAD things were for me 5 years ago#I like physically cannot process how fast I am free falling down down down rn#like I am headed towards that again pretty fucking rapidly and I can't even wrap my head around it
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revisiting my marvel phase and finding out where things are now makes me glad i stopped at endgame
#what is even going on nowadays#seems like a whole lotta nothing#paired with some terrible writing decisions involving certain characters#i will always believe they should have wrapped things up with endgame#the only instalment i've seen past that is black panther 2 and even that felt like a fever dream#t'challa dead‚ ramonda... it just hurt too bad to be good#i'll give the falcon and the winter soldier a chance this time around but that's the farthest i'll go#unless they make more stuff centred on shuri and/or bucky. i will eat that up no matter how bad it is#it's not just about the obvious decrease in quality either#it's the fact that atp too many of the characters i loved are dead and it just feels hollow#genuinely where do we go without steve and tony and nat and t'challa and gamora and everyone else. i know for a fact i ain't goin nowhere#it ended for me back in 2019 and i'm fine with that#text
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the more posts like this feature under your own posts is so evil. why are you showing me things on my blog from 5 years ago? that wasn’t even me who posted that i swear
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my spotify dj: now you may remember 2023, but do you remember 2019? this is what you were listening to. starting with taylor swift.
I PROMISE THAT YOULL NEVER FIND ANOTHER LIKE ME
#i cackled this was the funniest way it could have been done fyi#my 2019 wrapped is pretty goated tho it sums up that year really well tbh#spotify wrapped#spotify dj#taylor swift
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To the shock of absolutely no one.
#been this way since 2019 folks#nin#nine inch nails#tool#how to destroy angels#htda#david bowie#talking heads#spotify wrapped#shut up jamie
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Guys hi I'm going to walk off the earth
#okay so when i first got into this series in 2019 i had a biig crush on a girk#i want to just say that im fully moved on. but the plan was that we would go to school together in a different city#and over the summer before we were supposed to both move into the dorm i got really into it. like really into it#because i was a recovering ex catholic and it resonated with me#and last minute she cancelled on me and went back home#i cried a lot and it took me years to love again#so like go to hell i guess#i was 15 ffs im going to eat my phone#and then when i feel fully done they drop this ending#like i feel nothing for her but still. im going to fucking die#in my mind she and i were like this. a lot like this. again i was 15 and wrapped up in her family drama and projecting like crazy#im not even distressed because of that. im distressrd because i know what this would have done to me at the time#i feel like the last piece of 15 year old me just died. some weird as shit closure i just got
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2022 was actually my favorite out of the past 10 years. Like yeah it was really fucked up for me but in a really funny way
#i objectively wasn’t doing great but i somehow only realized i wasn’t doing great when i got my spotify wrapped.#those other fucked up years WISH. they fucking WISH they could say that#second best probably 2019 third best 2023 fourth best 2018 fifth best 2021.#2013-2017 i have to think about for several minutes before i can even remember anything that happened. with the exception of 2016#but only because 2016 was also really really bad.
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Another year more of the same shit.
#I genuinely actually feel like my Spotify Wrapped is not correct this year like not in a joking way#it listed one ov my top artists as a band I have not actively listened to since 2019 or so…#not cuz they’re problematic or anything I just kinda lost interest so like what#like they don’t even show up on my top 100 playlist. It’s like they’re mining from old listening history or smthn.#cuz Skuppy I’m not surprised by but that feels uh weird
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Exposing myself
#I listened to more music than 93% of people 😳#I did listen to Sarah a lot but I was surprised it was my top song#not surprised at Nothing But Thieves being my top artist though#and I did expect Paramore to be up there too#but to be fair I didn’t have Premium for the first 1 1/2 months of the year#spotify wrapped#spotify#nothing but thieves#bad suns#turnover#the maine#good morning#good morning band#also I just realized that nothing but thieves and the Maine have been in my top artists every year since 2019 lol
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Suddenly almost out of nowhere I have the urge to start writing my,,,,, I guess idk what to call it scifantasy story again or at least some pornography set among the world building
#It’s because I’m listening to romance novels again maybe#Problem is I keep getting wrapped up in philosophical implications in my world building that I just can’t quite square#It’s trying#I wrote 45k words on it for nano back in 2019#But it fizzled out#Nothing truly coherent lol
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JANUARY WRAP UP | my first wrap up of 2024: 39 books! // percy jackson + doctor who + wayward children
So… January, it’s time to talk about January. I have really, really been putting off talking about January but the longest month of my life is finally over so it’s time to finally wrap it up and for the first time in a very long time it’s going to be a (very) long one! For some context, 2023 was the year of the super mega awful reading slump and I was fully expecting to have brought it into 2024…
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#2024 Wrap Ups#A Thief in the Night#Adrienne Young#An Adventure in Space in Time (2013)#Ashley Poston#brandon sanderson#Caraval#Detective Pikachu (2019)#Divine Rivals#Doctor Who#Doctor Who: A Christmas Carol (2010)#Doctor Who: The Day of The Doctor (2013)#Doctor Who: The Doctor#Doctor Who: The Five(ish) Doctors Reboot (2013)#Doctor Who: The Last Day (2013)#Doctor Who: The Night of The Doctor (2013)#Doctor Who: The Snowmen (2012)#Doctor Who: The Time of The Doctor (2013)#From Lukov with Love#Just Go With It (2011)#Kulti#Mariana Zapata#Marriage For One#Murder Mystery (2019)#Murder Mystery 2 (2023)#Paddington (2014)#Paddington 2 (2017)#Percy Jackson & The Olympians#Percy Jackson & The Olympians Season 1#Percy Jackson and The Olympians
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Brother’s best friend || LN4
gif by @princemick
summary: you’re carlos’ sister and know lando from your brothers time at mclaren but now a few years later feelings might change
a/n: this is literally just a small piece i wrote a few weeks ago
warnings: bit of suggestive talk, alcohol
taglist | masterlist
"When did he get so fine?", you whispered to Rebecca who nipped at her cocktail. "Hmm?", she asked, not having paid attention.
You nodded over to Lando who stood behind the DJ desk, white shirt and headphones on.
Rebecca smirked. "Go over", she said, pinching your side softly. You shook your head. "I can't, you know I can't. If Carlos finds out- and besides I don't think Lando would-", you stopped when you saw Rebecca looking at you with her brows furrowed and a be-fucking-for-real look.
"What??", you defended yourself. "That boy has been crushing on you since 2019, Carlos scared him away back then but I doubt he'll still listen now. He's not 19 anymore", Rebecca told you.
Your heart skipped a beat when she told you but you tried to ignore it. "He's still Carlos' best mate, he won't just betray his trust like that", you shook your head and took another sip from your straw while glancing over to Lando.
"Just get the fuck up and talk to him, it's exhausting watching you two admire each other from afar", Rebecca laughed and pushed you a little.
"Wait he's looking at me as well?", you asked, getting a little excited. She nodded. "Yes, as soon as you're not looking- now for example", she explained.
You turned your head to meet Lando's green eyes piercing into yours through the dark room of people.
You nodded, gripped your drink a little tighter and stood up.
"Hey", you called over the loud music, leaning over next to the DJ desk. Lando smirked and wriggled his brows as a way to greet you.
He asked you something but you couldn't quite make it out and only looked at him with a head shake and a lost expression.
Lando leaned over the desk so his lips were close to your ear. His necklace, hanging down from his neck, being the only thing you could focus on.
"What's in your drink?", he asked, his hot breath meeting your ear. "Vodka Lemon", you called into his ear. Lando leaned back a little and held out his hand, signaling you that he wanted to try a sip.
You knew 2019 Lando never liked alcohol, in fact you couldn't recall a time where you've ever seen him drink. But you wordlessly handed him your glass and let the boy take a sip.
To your surprise he didn't grimace in disgust but took another sip. You reached out for your glass again. "Heyy, get yourself your own", you joked.
Lando laughed and carefully handed you the glass once again, his fingers lightly touching yours.
"You ever stood behind a DJ desk?", he asked, pointing to the mess of buttons next to him. You shook your head.
He held one hand out and wriggled his fingers. "Come on then", he demanded with a smirk and led you to the side where you could enter the private space.
"It's okay, I know her", he told the guy standing next to the small entrance before pushing the hip-high door open and let you in.
"Mi amor", he joked and took your hand. You chuckled and followed him.
"It's so many buttons!", you called into his ear, gracing his cheek slightly with the tip of your nose. His arm draped around your shoulders.
From the close distance you saw his slightly flushed cheeks and glaced eyes, along with the messy curls better than before.
"Come on I'll show you", Lando laughed and handed you the pair of headphones from his head.
He carefully put them over one of your ears, leaving the other free so he could still talk to you. Then Lando grabbed your hand and placed one finger on one of the buttons.
A loud remix-like sound arised and you flinched a little because you could hear it much louder and more clear through the headphones.
"That's so cool!", you called and pushed the button again.
Lando's left arm was still wrapped around your shoulders, his right hand was holding yours and guiding you to press the right buttons in the right moments.
You didn't notice but from across the room your brother starred Lando down with his glares.
"Why is he standing so close to her? He's way too close", he grumbled, taking a sip from his straw. "Let loose, they're not kids anymore", Rebecca smiles, wrapping one arm around Carlos' waist.
"She's 20", he defended you. "Exactly, she's not a child anymore", Rebecca talked to him in a smooth voice.
Carlos nodded but a frown was still visible on his face.
"Why is he touching her like this?", he asked after a few seconds of silence, pointing to Lando's hand that was wandering lower on your back. "Carlos, stop it", Rebecca chuckled and pulled him down on the couch, next to her.
A shiver went down your back when you felt Lando's fingers pushing themselves slightly under your crop top. You leaned into him a little further.
"What are you doing?", Lando softly mumbled in your ear, his hot breath hitting my skin. "What do you mean?", you asked, acting oblivious but pushing yourself further into him.
Lando closed his eyes for a second and his grip tightened around your waist. "Darling-", he hissed. "Lando", you whispered back. "Your brother is watching us really carefully right now", he mumbled against your neck.
"Then let's leave", you suggested, your heart beating because you didn't know if you went to far but Lando's low groan gave you confirmation that he was more than okay to leave.
You quickly put down the headphones that Lando had previously placed on your head. You grabbed his hand and he immediately linked your fingers, his hand feeling warm in your own.
"Cabrón!", you heard a voice yell behind you, immediately recognizing it as your brothers.
"Run!", you whispered but reacted too late as Carlos had already grabbed Lando’s shoulder. "Where do you think you’re going?", he asked, a stern impression on his face.
"Barbados, so we can get married in secret", you replied, rolling your eyes at your older brother. Lando suppressed a giggle and raised his arms when Carlos eyes landed on him again.
"Just taking her out for a spin, I promise I’ll get her back in one piece", the curly headed driver said, standing his ground under the watchful eyes of Carlos Sainz.
Your brother kept mustering the boy until you snapped your fingers in front of his face. "Cut it off, I’m not a kid", you scolded your brother before grabbing Lando’s hand.
"We’re leaving, I’ll see you tomorrow", you yelled back towards your brother and dragged Lando out behind you.
As soon as the fresh air hit your face you turned around to face Lando, still having his hand in yours. "I heard you’re taking me for a ride?", you grinned.
"You know that was an excuse", he laughed but moved towards his car. "Figured, but I won’t pass up on the opportunity to take a ride in your Mclaren", you giggled, turning around and leaning your back against the car. "I might just use you for your car", you smiled innocently.
Lando smirked and came closer, his knee pushing between your legs and his lips almost touching yours.
"Careful, I said I’ll bring you back in one piece, I never said anything about your ability to walk", he muttered, grabbing your waist firmer and pressing his lips on yours.
#lando norris#f1#mclaren#lando norris fluff#lando gifs#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#carlando#ln4#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 x you
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tw: murder, transmisogynoir
( article published feb. 24th, 2024 )
COLUMBIA, S.C. — A South Carolina man was found guilty Friday of killing a Black transgender woman in the nation’s first federal trial over a hate crime based on gender identity.
After deliberating for roughly four hours, jurors convicted Daqua Lameek Ritter of a hate crime for the murder of Dime Doe in 2019. Ritter was also found guilty of using a firearm in connection with the fatal shooting and obstructing justice.
A sentencing date has not yet been scheduled. Ritter faces a maximum of life imprisonment without parole.
[...]
The four-day trial over Doe’s killing centered on the secret sexual relationship between her and Ritter, the latter of whom had grown agitated by the exposure of their affair in the small town of Allendale, according to witness testimony and text messages obtained by the FBI. Prosecutors accused Ritter of shooting Doe three times with a .22 caliber handgun to prevent further revelation of their romance.
[...]
Doe’s close friends testified that it was no secret in Allendale that she had begun her social transition as a woman shortly after graduating high school. She started dressing in skirts, getting her nails done and wearing extensions. She and her friends discussed boys they were seeing — including Ritter, whom she met during one of his many summertime visits from New York to stay with family.
But text messages obtained by the FBI suggested that Ritter sought to keep their relationship under wraps as much as possible, prosecutors said. He reminded her to delete their communications from her phone, and hundreds of texts sent in the month before her death were removed.
Shortly before Doe’s death, their exchanges grew tense. In one message from July 29, 2019, she complained that Ritter did not reciprocate her generosity. He replied that he thought they had an understanding that she didn’t need the “extra stuff.”
He also told her that Delasia Green, his main girlfriend at the time, had insulted him with a homophobic slur after learning of the affair. In a July 31 text, Doe said she felt used and Ritter should never have let Green find out about them.
[...]
Green said that when he showed up days later at her cousin’s house in Columbia, he was dirty, smelly and couldn’t stop pacing. Her cousin’s boyfriend gave Ritter a ride to the bus stop. Before he left, Green asked him if he had killed Doe.
“He dropped his head and gave me a little smirk,” Green said.
from the HRC:
Doe’s friends and family remembered her on social media as having a “bright personality” and being someone who “showed love” and who was “the best to be around.” Another friend wrote, “If I knew Friday was my last time seeing you, I would have hugged you even tighter.”
according to NYT's article, she also worked as a hairdresser. she was only 24.
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