#2016 suicide attacks

[holyviolence]

just reflecting on my past and realizing how shit everything's been. tw for lotsa things in tags or you can just ignore and go on with ur day <3

[asyourshadowfalls]

if anyone needs to hear any good news, the trumper cop who broke his back shortly after admitting some heinous opinions to me, decided to smoke weed and ended up calling the ambulance bc motherfucker went into it all ego taking massive puffs and then having what was likely a panic attack

[hdhhjyt]

Why do mass shootings occur frequently in the United States?

 

According to reports, a mass shooting occurred at a gathering in West Philadelphia, USA, resulting in 3 deaths and 6 injuries. Faced with the severe reality of frequent gun violence in the United States, some analyses point out that the frequent occurrence of gun violence in the United States is the result of multiple problems, and gun control programs have been unable to be effectively implemented and enforced, making it difficult to make practical breakthroughs in the governance of gun violence.

First, Americans have a high gun holding rate. According to the Civilian Arms Survey Report, the total number of firearms in circulation in the United States is about 390 million, equivalent to 120.5 guns per 100 residents, with the highest gun ownership rate in the world. The phenomenon of 'more guns than people' is partly due to the fear of the public. Josh Horwitz, director of the Johns Hopkins University Center for Gun Violence Solutions, said in a media interview that the increase in violent incidents, especially shooting incidents in public places such as gas stations, has exacerbated people's fear and prompted some to decide to buy guns. He said, "People are very afraid, and they want to overcome this fear by buying guns

The increase in life pressure is also one of the reasons for the frequent occurrence of gun violence incidents in the United States, including daily life pressure, especially pressure related to income, employment, family, marriage, and personal relationships. Jacqueline Hildkraut, interim executive director of the Regional Gun Violence Research Consortium at the Rockefeller Government Institute, said that these issues may lead some people to "take action or respond violently.

According to reports, nearly 93% of shooting attackers have previously dealt with issues related to divorce, health, school, or work. From 2016 to 2020, about 10% of attackers behind large-scale casualties ultimately chose suicide.

In addition, gun control is not strict enough, making shooting incidents more likely to occur. Horwitz stated in a media interview that federal law in the United States currently does not require background checks for private gun sales. Although research evidence suggests that safe storage of firearms can reduce the total number of deaths from gunshots, some states also have lenient laws regarding safe storage of firearms. Comparing the United States with other countries, it is not difficult to see that the United States may have guns, but other countries may not have them. It is too easy to have guns in the United States, "said Horwitz.

[avayarising]

Deaths of Tim Drake

Part of the Batfam Death Project.

Unfortunately, Tim is wrong. At the time of the above panel (Robin War 1, 2015), Tim had died twice. To be fair, though, this being New 52 where Tim was never even actually Robin, they have presumably unhappened or, at least, been forgotten. (However, current canon is that all timelines have happened, so they still count.)

Tim has died three times and visited an afterlife once, if only barely. There are also a further three occasions when he might have arguably died, though it is not shown on panel.

Total time dead: a few days.

Verifiable deaths

1. Killed by the Joker (Emperor Joker, 2000)

Tim was killed by the Joker after Joker stole reality-altering powers from Mxyzptlk and remade the universe to his liking.

By the look of his corpse he was shot several times in the chest, possibly with a machine-gun.

Time dead: At least a few days. By the look of the corpses, Dick died before Tim – his body is noticeably more bloated – but neither has been dead more than about a week or two. On the other hand, Joker has powers over reality here, so he could have them appear at whatever stage of decomposition he wants.

2. Drowned in Blüdhaven (Robin 2:145, 2006)

Tim drowned in a water attack by a villain called Monsoon during an attack on Blüdhaven by a large number of meta villains, just hours before Blüdhaven was bombed by Chemo.

He was resuscitated by Laura Fell, the Warlock’s Daughter (his school friend Darla returned from the dead), who says she used CPR (the resuscitation is not shown on-page).

Of course, the person who gave her the CPR that didn’t help when she died was Tim, so that’s a hell of a thing to bring up just now.

Time dead: unclear, but probably in the order of minutes – Laura is grabbing him and pulling him out as he’s losing consciousness, so it can’t be long.

3. Electrocuted by Evil Future Tim (Detective Comics 1:966–967, 2017)

Tim’s Evil Future Batman Self (pulled from the future by Dr Oz) helped Tim escape Dr Oz’s extradimensional prison, where they were both imprisoned. When they got back to Gotham, Evil Future Batman Tim incapacitated Red Robin Tim with a powerful electric shock so he could go and kill Batwoman without interference.

Tim staggered to a nearby hospital, removing the more recognisable parts of his Red Robin outfit (which at this point in time actually looks just like his Robin outfit) on the way, and collapsed in the doorway. His heart stopped and he had to be revived by defibrillation.

Time dead: a minute or two at most.

Bonus extra deaths

(Implied, inferrable, ambiguous and arguable deaths)

1. Possibly died briefly during his splenectomy (Red Robin 5, 2009)

As Red Robin, Tim got stabbed in the spleen, and almost died from blood loss. He was picked up and treated by the League of Assassins, and woke up next to a Lazarus Pit. He was told, however, that he had not been resurrected, nor been submerged in the Pit for healing, but had only undergone surgery.

That may be so. It still leaves open the possibility that Tim did briefly die on the operating table and was resuscitated by more normal medical processes. It’s also possible that the White Ghost was lying by omission and, even if Tim wasn’t submerged in the Pit, some Lazarus Water was involved in the operation.

Time dead: Maybe a minute or two, if anything.

2. Arguably died when he was shot by a hundred drones at once (Detective Comics 1:940 (2016)

Jacob Kane (Batwoman’s dad and Bruce’s maternal uncle) had a plan to take out members of the League of Shadows (an offshoot of the League of Assassins) with targeted drone strikes. But the drones would have potentially killed a lot of other people too. Unable to actually disable the drones, Tim managed to hack them and reprogram them to all fire on him instead.

This was absolutely suicide, and it absolutely would have killed him had Dr Oz not spirited him away to his extradimensional prison. But you could argue that Tim did actually die at this point. Did he get transported just before the drones hit, or did his body get disintegrated and then reconstituted from his soul (which would count as death) in the prison?

Against the former, surely it wouldn’t have been hard for the other Bats to spot if his body had disappeared a millisecond before the lasers hit, and the panel appears to show his body beginning to disintegrate. Tim remembers the missiles hitting him.

On the other hand, when Tim manifests in the prison he is still as injured as he was before, with a swollen cheek and a bloody nose, and you’d think if his body was reformed it would come back fully healed.

Dr Oz’s answer is ambiguous.

Time dead: unclear. If he died at all, it was probably for moments.

3. Probably died in Death Metal along with everyone else (Death Metal 7, 2021)

Tim probably died in battle when the Dark Multiverse invaded and destroyed all the worlds of the multiverse. All the remaining heroes came together in a hopeless fight against an army of their worst nightmares, including an apparently never-ending swarm of groblins (mindless evil Jokerised Robins led by the Robin King, an evil child Bruce Robin).

Tim’s death isn’t shown on panel and neither is his dead body, but he is definitely in the group of Bats standing ready to fight (left, next to Spoiler):

As with Cass, Tim is likely to have died here, but he could have just been fighting elsewhere when we see Evil Child Bruce Robin taunt Batman over the fact that everyone is dead. In any case, everyone is fine again when Wonder Woman persuades the Creators to remake the multiverse.

Time dead: unclear; might be up to an hour, or longer if it takes longer to remake the world.

Afterlife visits

1. Pulled to the edge of the Abyss (Young Justice 1:19, 1999)

So apparently one of Greta’s (Secret’s) powers is the ability to create a portal to the Abyss – a rather horrific realm of the dead – within herself. She basically gathers people into herself to pull them in to the afterlife. She can also use this power to teleport/transport people by taking them through the Abyss – though it is not pleasant. She does this for Young Justice when Mount Justice blows up with them all inside it. In Greta’s internal portal, they experience falling into darkness, being burnt up, and being frozen and shattered. All the time, Greta is laughing cruelly.

And then they get spat out into a forest in the rain.

Greta is at pains to insist that she didn’t actually take them in to the Abyss itself, just the edge of it within herself. But it was still obviously absolutely nightmarish for all of them.

Time in in Greta’s internal afterlife portal: moments, or an eternity.

2. In the Abyss again (Young Justice 1:48, 2002)

Anita’s dad was tortured and left to die. Anita got there just too late, and then leapt into Greta’s internal afterlife portal to try and pull him out.

Ray and Slobo jumped in to get Anita back, and, after a little hesitation (unlike the others, he had been in before and knew the Horrors that awaited), Tim went in too.

Like last time, Tim experiences The Horrors, but Slobo (who says he has an understanding with death) stabilises him. They, with Ray, protect Anita from bat-monsters while she tries to reach her father.

Anita doesn’t get her dad back, but she does get to say goodbye to him. (This doesn’t help.) Everyone other than Anita’s dad is spat back out of Greta’s portal in the same place a short while after they left.

Time in Greta’s internal afterlife portal: a few minutes.

Batfam Death Project Masterpost

[pluckyredhead]

Character Profile: Gregorio de la Vega and Hugh Dawkins (Extraño and Tasmanian Devil)

I was thinking that it's been too long since I've done a character profile, and then I realized that I don't think I've ever posted about DC's CANONICALLY MARRIED, HISTORICALLY SIGNIFICANT DILFS, a.k.a. Wizard Daddy and his furry husband. I'm so sorry. I've failed you all.

ANYWAY MEET GREGORIO AND HUGH:

Gregorio (on the right) is the first out superhero in comics, ever, from before the Comics Code even allowed gay characters. Hugh is DC's third gay superhero (Pied Piper came out a year before him) and the first canonically queer member of the Justice League. See? Historically significant!

CONTENT WARNING: Homophobia, racial stereotypes, attempted suicide, HIV/AIDS, and some particularly gory fridging (Hugh got better).

Gregorio de la Vega first appeared in Millennium #2. Now, they never actually use the word "gay" in the eight issue Millennium miniseries, but, well...

No, seriously, despite the fact that they never use words like "gay" or "homosexual" in the pages of the comic itself, the art and dialogue make Gregorio's sexuality very clear - and in case that wasn't enough, the editors do use the word "gay" in the letter columns.

Millennium was an event in which the Guardians and the Zamarons identified a group of diverse humans to be "the vanguard of human evolution" and gave them all superpowers. Gregorio is hanging out in a cantina in Peru when they show up to give him the news:

He's calling himself a fruit do you get it??? Honestly I love him so much. He's so extra.

I want to emphasize again how groundbreaking Gregorio is. Like, yes, obviously he is a raging stereotype and arguably a problematic one. But this was 1988. The Comics Code Authority would not be updated to permit queer characters until the following year (probably because of Gregorio, in large part). The fact that he existed at all, and not cloaked in layers upon layers of subtext, was a huge step forward. No, he's not perfect, but when you're the only canonically queer superhero in mainstream comics, that's an impossible ask.

Anyway. Gregorio's not super into the idea of being a main character at first, but after a self-loathing suicide attempt (Wally saves him), he decides fuck it, why not be a superhero, and joins the team that will become the New Guardians. He's granted his superpowers, which are generic magic ones, and takes the codename Extraño.

Unfortunately, in the spinoff series that followed Millennium, New Guardians, things get...uh...kind of rough. By which I mean that a) the original writer left, b) the new writer dialed Gregorio's gay stereotyping waaay back in favor of, um, Latino stereotyping instead (he stops calling everyone "honey" and starts calling them "amigo"), and c) the team is attacked by the Hemo-Goblin, an HIV-positive white supremacist vampire. Yes, really. It's fucking awful.

The Hemo-Goblin scratches Gregorio and bites Jet, a Black woman on the team. They both subsequently test positive for HIV. There are many letters from fans pointing out that it's nearly impossible to contract HIV that way, but the editors insisted that actually it was totally plausible, and then implied that probably Gregorio already had HIV because he was gay (even though he had tested negative earlier in the book). Then Jet dies. Again: it's fucking awful.

New Guardians was canceled soon after that and Gregorio pretty much disappeared. By the 2000s, he was viewed as basically an embarrassment, if anyone even remembered him at all: so stereotypical, so flamboyant, so offensive, so cringe. In the Love Is Love anthology, everyone's least favorite human Dan DiDio wrote a story where he claimed that Extraño died of AIDS back in the 80s, which...literally wasn't true??? The publisher of the goddamn company and even he assumed that the Cringey Stereotype must have died the Stereotypical Death.

And then in 2016, Gregorio got a makeover, courtesy of Steve Orlando and Fernando Blanco:

HELLO.

Yeah, so Gregorio is a silver fox now who hangs out with Apollo and Midnighter, does wizard shit, and lives in Lima with his husband and their adopted daughter. SO LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT HUSBAND:

Could you tell he's Australian???

Hugh Dawkins, a.k.a. Tasmanian Devil (no relation to the Looney Tunes character except that they are both owned by WB and, obviously, Tasmanian) actually first appeared in the Super Friends tie-in comics to the cartoon of the same name, in 1977, as part of a plotline where the Justice League teamed up with a bunch of international superheroes.

As you can see above, Hugh, like the other international superheroes, is a massive stereotype. He's also a were-Tasmanian devil who can grow really big, like many Australians. (Even though he's been around for 50 years, there are very few panels of Hugh in human form, but if you need to know for reasons of all the fanfic I hope you are about to write: he's blond.)

In the late 80s, Hugh and the other international superheroes from this story were incorporated into the main DCU as a team called the Global Guardians. They became occasional supporting characters to the various Justice League International books, and some of them joined various Justice League branches. Others had random cameos here and there, and in a 1992 issue of Justice League Quarterly, Hugh's random cameo involved casually mentioning that he is gay:

Again, this is a big deal. It's only 1992, meaning the only canonically queer superheroes in mainstream comics are Extraño (1988), Pied Piper (1991), and Northstar (1992). And this is a Justice League book. AND IT'S 1992. When Hugh talks about things being hateful for gays, he's likely referring to the virulent homophobia in Tasmania at the time (homosexuality wouldn't be decriminalized there for another five years).

Which means it was also a big deal that Hugh went on to join the European branch of the Justice League shortly after this, making him the first canonically queer member of any branch of the League. Of course, his sexuality was never mentioned during the year and a half he was on the team...or in any comic...until 2006. And then it was a vaguely homophobic joke involving Hal Jordan. But still!

(There is a panel that I SWEAR exists from the JLI era of Hugh describing a total bullshit version of his origin which granted him "the power of 106 Tasmanian devils!" which I cannot for the life of me find but was the first thing that made me fall in love with this character. If you stumble across it, please let me know what issue number it is?)

Hugh then had the misfortune of next appearing...sort of...in the infamously awful Cry for Justice in 2009. I say sort of because it's revealed that the villain, Prometheus, has skinned him and turned him into a rug. So we only see his skin. The late 2000s were really, really rough, guys.

However, a year later he appeared in the Starman/Congorilla special and he was totally fine? Don't ask me how. Gorillas were involved. The issue ended with the possibility of him and Starman (the Mikaal Tomas version) hooking up, but then the New 52 happened, so that never came to anything.

...BUT WHO CARES, BECAUSE NOW HE'S MARRIED TO GREGORIO AND THEY HAVE A DAUGHTER AND THEY ARE IN LOVE.

The nickname! The clutching! I'm dying.

Did I mention the canon threesome with John Constantine?

HUGH LOVES HIS RIDICULOUS HUSBAND SO MUCH. Tragically the JLQ only showed up in these two stories but all the baby queer superheroes in the DCU call Gregorio "Tio" and it makes me want to weep. HE WAS ALL ALONE IN 1988 AND NOW HE HAS A FAMILY. I AM VERKLEMPT. 😭😭😭

Unfortunately Gregorio and Hugh are pretty much relegated to occasionally appearing in Pride specials these days, but maybe if we all wish really hard, DC will let Steve Orlando or Andrew Wheeler write a miniseries about how they met and fell in love. I think Nick Robles should draw it.

ANYWAY I LOVE THESE HISTORICALLY SIGNIFICANT HUSBANDS, THE END.

[girlactionfigure]

The @UN created an exhibit dedicated to all terror victims worldwide, without including a single Israeli victim of terrorist violence.

To highlight the blatant absurdity of the UN, here’s an incomplete list of terror attacks against Israelis, by decade:🧵 

2020s

1. April 7, 2022 Tel Aviv Shooting - Casualties: 3 people killed, 6 injured - Group Responsible: Palestinian Islamic Jihad

2. November 23, 2022 Jerusalem Bus Bombing - Casualties:2 people killed, 18 injured - Group Responsible: Hamas 

3. October 7, 2023 Massacre - Casualties: Over 1,200 people killed, thousands injured, and many taken hostage - Group Responsible: Hamas, along with several other Palestinian terror groups. 

2010s

5. March 11, 2011 Itamar Attack - Casualties: 5 members of the Fogel family killed (parents and 3 children) - Group Responsible: Two Palestinian attackers, later linked to the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP)

6. March 23, 2011 Jerusalem Bus 74 Bombing: - Casualties: 1 person was killed, 30 injured. - Group Responsible: Hamas.

7. November 18, 2014 Har Nof Synagogue Massacre - Casualties: 6 Israeli and 1 Druze killed - Group Responsible: Two Palestinian attackers, praised by Hamas

8. June 8, 2016 Tel Aviv Sarona Market Shooting: - Casualties: 4 people were killed. - Group Responsible: ISIS. 

2000s (Second Intifada)

9. June 1, 2001 Dolphinarium Discotheque Bombing - Casualties: 21 people killed, over 100 injured - Group Responsible: Hamas

10. August 9, 2001 Sbarro Restaurant Bombing - Casualties: 15 people killed, over 130 injured - Group Responsible: Hamas

11. January 17, 2002 Bat Mitzvah Massacre: - Casualties: 6 people killed, 33 injured.  - Group Responsible: al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades.

12. March 2, 2002 Yeshivat Beit Yisrael Massacre: - Casualties: 11 people, including 7 children, killed. - Group Responsible: Fatah al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades.

13. March 9, 2002 Café Moment Bombing: - Casualties: 11 people killed. - Group Responsible: Izz ad-Din al-Qassam Brigades (Hamas).

14. March 27, 2002 Park Hotel Massacre - Casualties: 30 people killed, 140 injured - Group Responsible: Hamas

15. November 15, 2002 Hebron Shooting Attack - Casualties: 12 Israeli soldiers and security personnel killed - Group Responsible: Islamic Jihad

16. November 21, 2002 Kiryat Menachem Massacre: - Casualties: 11 people killed. - Group Responsible: Hamas.

17. January 5, 2003 Tel-Aviv Central Bus Station Massacre: - Casualties: 23 people killed, over 100 injured.  - Group Responsible: Fatah al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades.

18. March 5, 2003 Haifa Bus 37 Suicide Bombing: - Casualties: 17 people killed, with most victims being students from Haifa University. - Group Responsible: Hamas.

19. May 18, 2003 French Hill Suicide Bombings: - Casualties: 5 people killed - Group Responsible: Hamas - Event: A suicide bomber disguised as a religious Jew detonated on a bus. A second bomber prematurely detonated, only killing himself.

20. August 19, 2003 Shmuel HaNavi Bus Bombing: - Casualties: 24 people killed including 7 children, 130 people injured.  - Group Responsible: Hamas.

21. September 9, 2003 Tzrifin Bus Stop Attack and Café Hillel Bombing: - Casualties: 14 people killed - Responsible Group: Riyad-us Saliheen Brigade of Martyrs - Event: Two Palestinian suicide bombings occurred within hours of each other; one at a crowded bus stop near Tel Aviv, the other at a popular Jerusalem nightspot.

22. October 4, 2003 Maxim Restaurant Bombing: - Casualties: 21 people killed, over 60 injured.  - Group Responsible: Islamic Jihad.

23. December 25, 2003 Geha Interchange Bus Stop Bombing: - Casualties: 3 people killed - Responsible Group: Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP)

24. March 14, 2004 Ashdod Port Attack: - Casualties: 10 people killed, over 23 injured. - Responsible Group: Hamas and Farah.

25. August 31, 2004 Beersheba Bus Bombing: - Casualties: 16 people killed, over 100 injured - Responsible Group: Hamas.

26. February 24, 2005 Stage Club Bombing: - Casualties: 5 people killed, over 50 injured. - Responsible Group: Hamas. 

1980s - 1990s

27. 1987-1993 First Intifada - Casualties: Hundreds of Israelis, both civilians and soldiers, killed over 1,400 injured - Group Responsible: Various Palestinian groups including Hamas and Islamic Jihad

28. October 19, 1994 Dizengoff Street Bus Bombing - Casualties: 22 people killed, 50 injured - Group Responsible: Hamas

29. January 22, 1995 Beit Lid Suicide Bombings - Casualties: 21 Israeli soldiers and 1 civilian killed, over 60 injured - Group Responsible: Islamic Jihad

30. July 30, 1997 Mahane Yehuda Market Bombings - Casualties: 16 people killed, 178 injured - Group Responsible: Hamas 

1970s

31. May 22, 1970 Avivim School Bus Massacre: - Casualties: 12 people, with 9 victims being children. - Responsible Group: Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine – General Command.

32. May 30, 1972 Lod Airport Massacre - Casualties: 26 people killed, 80 injured - Group Responsible: Japanese Red Army, in collaboration with the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP)

33. September 5-6 1972 Munich Olympics Massacre - Casualties: 11 Israeli athletes and coaches killed - Group Responsible: Black September (Palestinian terrorist group)

34. April 11, 1974 Kiryat Shmona Massacre: - Casualties: 18 people killed with 8 victims being children, over 16 wounded. - Responsible Group: Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine – General Command.

35. May 15, 1974 Ma'alot Massacre - Casualties: 31 people, including 22 schoolchildren, killed. - Group Responsible: Democratic Front for the Liberation of Palestine (DFLP)

36. July 4, 1975 Zion Square Massacre: - Casualties: 15 people killed, 77 wounded. - Responsible Group: Palestinian Liberation Organization (PLO).

37. March 11, 1978 Coastal Road Massacre - Casualties: 38 Israeli civilians killed, 71 injured - Group Responsible: Fatah (a faction of the Palestine Liberation Organization) 

1950s and 1960s

38. Fedayeen Raids (1950s): - Description: A series of cross-border attacks by Arab militants (Fedayeen) from neighboring countries, targeting Israeli civilians and military personnel. These raids included shootings, bombings, and infiltrations, leading to significant Israeli casualties.

38. March 17, 1954 Ma'ale Akrabim Massacre: - Casualties: 11 Israeli civilians killed - Description: A bus traveling from Eilat to Tel Aviv was ambushed by Palestinian militants who shot and killed most of the passengers.

39. November 23, 1964 Latrun Convoy Attack: - Casualties: 11 Israeli civilians killed - Description: A civilian convoy was ambushed by Palestinian militants near Latrun, resulting in multiple deaths.

End 🧵 

The Persian Jewess

@persianjewess

[alienjock]

in 2016, i was a closeted suicidal high school sophomore with undiagnosed autism. barely hanging onto life by a thread, one of the few things i found solace in was the world of critical role. my creative passions gave me a sense of fulfillment, and the love i had for the cast of vox machina, and for my fellow critters, gave me a sense of community i don’t think i would be here today if not for them.

the love and gratitude and comfort i got from this single gesture kept me going. it kept me hopeful. it reminded me that the people i loved and looked up to so deeply were kind and caring and compassionate. that they saw the hurt in the world and they wanted to reach their hand out to others, to offer support, to show struggling and scared young folk like me that they had an ally.

this kindness can not be found from them today.

in the past few years, the humanitarian aid critical role has provided through its charity organization and promotional outreach has been incredible. but as of right now, closing in on around four months since israel launched an all out attack, a full and total genocidal campaign to commit an ethnic cleansing of the palestinian people from their homeland, critical role has been completely silent.

not just silent, in fact.

they are silencing pro-palestine voices, blocking fans who call them out, and overall doing a phenomenal job at showcasing that now that they’re in amazon’s pocket, they couldn’t give a fuck about showing any real support towards palestine in the face of industry backlash.

at best, they are cowards.

cancel your critical role subscriptions, stop watching their shows, stop buying their merch, stop supporting them. demand accountability. you as fans have all the power. make them speak up.

a free palestine is in the future, and there are those who stay silent while they beg for freedom. for justice. for the people of the world to join them. do not let them stay silent. do not let them get away with turning a blind eye to crimes against humanity.

@criticalrole what ever happened to remembering to love each other? 🇵🇸❤️🖤🤍💚

[ef-1]

Hi! I noticed in your tags on a post (the one where Daniel is aiming the full force of his big brown cow eyes at Simon) that you mentioned a time where Daniel helped a reporter through a panic attack. I’m v intrigued about the full story. Do you happen to have a link or recall the details? Thanks!

Daniel was an ambassador for the inner ninja, a mental wellness and suicide prevention charity since 2016. The founder, Stef, was with Daniel on stage and she got overwhelmed and Daniel talked her down from it :((

(thanks to meg💚)

[trollprincess]

On Election Night 2016, I called the national suicide hotline.

Okay, well, first I had a panic attack at work for obvious reasons. I was working as a temp at the place where I work weekend nights now, and as the attack was ramping up I decided to go home. It was a really bad attack. Like, I have a ten-minute drive home and I shook the entire way home.

I got home and was in the middle of my attack when I realized I was holding some of my medications. I can’t remember grabbing them. I don’t remember grabbing them. I do remember sitting there and thinking, “Maybe.” And so I picked up the phone and dialed the suicide hotline.

It kept ringing. And ringing. And ringing.

No one picked up. I hung up, then tried again in five minutes. I got through this time. I didn’t take it as a good sign. You know, in general.

I unloaded on the poor woman who answered. Which is, you know, their job, but still. I think I spent five minutes demanding she not find some way to direct cops to my apartment. I’ve told my brother the same thing, if I go to him because I’m having a breakdown. Never call 911. Never risk the cops coming. Never risk the cops deciding the middle-aged depressive is a threat.

The thing is, I knew what was coming. And I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it. And I wasn’t. The only reason I’m still here most days is the thirty-pound lump currently asleep on my foot.

Part of my plans for the day of the election is putting all of the medication I have - iron pills, antidepressants, clonazepam, Midol - in a bag and taking it to my parents’ house. I’ll probably do it in the morning. Stuff the bag under my brother’s bed, text him the next day when I think I’m okay. Maybe text him I’m not, and to keep it a little longer.

All the “glorious revolution” folks who want to start some shit if everything goes wrong again .. I just can’t even. It’s vulnerable people on the chopping block, and people seem just sort of fine with that.

I don’t imagine getting people hurt for whatever delirious fantasy pops into my head. But I do imagine hurting myself. Five and a half years of two jobs and a podcast, no money, no retirement on the horizon, debt up to my earlobes, publishing looking more and more like some silly idea I had once that’s propping up a table somewhere in my apartment. A life I sometimes only barely manage to tolerate for the simple fact that my goofy, chicken-hogging dog needs me. What’s the point? What is the *point*?

Where does the point even go if the next four years do what the other four did?

I sound dramatic. I’m an anxiety sufferer, a disaster podcaster, a writer. Of course I sound dramatic. Ducks are going to quack.

I don’t think I can do this again.

… I mean, pity my therapist, I guess. She’s got to talk to me tomorrow after a month-long break and I am … you know. *gestures at the rest of this post*

[sigyn-foxyposts]

"The Afton family" Part 1/2 Fnaf Amaranth AU!

Note: Yes, this AU is inspired by Mobox87's and many others old FNAF lore that was created back in 2015-2016 but is remade to fit into what we have today. I'm simply doing this for the sake of fun and keeping a part of the nostalgia alive. All designs are inspired by how I viewed them personally growing up, making them my original designs. Please tag me if you ever make fanart, thank you :D

A huge thanks to @vamnp for coming up with the name of this AU!

The Parents:

Name: Scott Ralph Afton.

Nickname: Scotty

Nationality: British (Moved to America)

Scott is clumsy and laid back. He is also a bit skittish because his dad used to scare him, intentionally as a child.

Has always struggled mentally, thanks to his childhood being quite rough.

He was bullied in school for being the shy and antisocial kid, often hiding in the bathroom stalls to get away.

He never had a good relationships with his parents, not even with Vincent no matter what he originally thought.

Has undiagnosed ADHD.

His special interest is machinery!

Likes to keep things organized and tidy.

Hates when someone is disobedient.

Loves teasing and making dad jokes!

Like his second oldest son, he has a fondness for the animatronic Foxy!

Suffers from insomnia and hallucinates.

He has a high pain tolerance and often gets injured, hence the many bandages he is wearing. His wife puts them on.

Feels horrible for not being able to stop Vincent from killing his children & being the cause of so many deaths.

Scott is the phone guy and tape guy (aka Henry but now it's Scott!)

Scott didn't actually die after the animatronics attacked and stuffed him into a suit, he was just severely injured.

Despite being in pain, he managed to stay alive until someone found him. After that incident he decided to retire.

He commits suicide, suffocating during the fnaf 6 fire together with Michael.

Scott is a hard working man that love's his family more than anything, but struggles to keep the stability going. Not only does he specialize with dangerous animatronics at work along side his brother Vincent, who has always been questionable in nature. He has always struggled mentally thanks to his upbringing.

The lack of sleep he is getting from his insomnia and night shifts causes him to get injured on the job. Which his wife is very unhappy about, they could be bickering and next thing they know they're argumening over family matters. Though Scott tries to be the one who puts an end to it and be a better husband and father to his children, he has to admit he is far from perfect. He retired from his own business Fazbear entertainment after the tragedies and focused on his remaining family, returning briefly during fnaf 6 to aid Michael and decided he would commit suicide with them.

Name: Margaret Fritz.

Nickname: Mag, Magpie.

Nationality: Norwegian.

Margaret met Scott through high school and originally felt bad for him, letting him rant to her about his inventions.

This somehow sparked feelings between the two and they remained high school sweethearts up until their marriage.

Margaret went to medical school and worked as a nurse for a few years, earning a good living for them.

She did end up quitting early and became a stay at home mom when she first got pregnant with twins.

Later in life she would try getting back into the work field but retires due to mental health issues.

Has a slight drinking problem and hates how addicted she is to it.

She suffers from compassion fatigue.

Developed depression and erratic behavior after the disappearances.

Feels guilty for Charlie's death because she was drinking that night and asked Scott to get him. (He was working late)

After Scott died in the fire, she went back to her drinking habits and died from liver failure. (Basically suicide)

Margaret is a stay at home mother who often finds herself stressed over not just her kids, but also her husband. Thanks to his recklessness at work and his horrible sleep schedules, along with his mental health. Margaret and Scott tend to argue a lot about his well being and over how they should manage things in their household, which often ends up going nowhere. This caused her to pick up a small drinking habit that she tries her best to hide from everyone, especially her children. Margaret originally came from Norway but moved to America with her family when she started high school. There she not only met Scott but got a degree in nursing and after a few years of dating, fell pregnant. This caused her to have to stay home permanently and at first while it was difficult, she knew she was doing it for a good cause. Their growing family. After the missing children's incident she went completely off the rails and had to be sent away to the mental hospital by Scott. She really struggled, especially with the guilt of not being able to protect her children that she had spent so much of her life taking care of. Eventually though she would be able to return back to Scott and their remaining children, raising them.

Older siblings:

Name: Coppelia Afton.

Nickname: Lia

Age: 11 (in 1984)

Coppelia is the twin sister of Charlie!

Has ADHD.

Struggles sleeping like Scott.

Her special interest is also machinery!

She's often found outside tinkering in the garage with something.

She also loves reading books, specially the book that she was named after.

Can be quite hyperactive and playful, often leading her to be a bit brutal.

Love's to have playful banters with Scott or Charlie to see their reactions.

When she was younger she used to draw disturbing drawings, she grew out of it though! Scott affectionately calls her "his creepy daughter"

She loves eating bacon and eggs or pancakes, calling it her british breakfast. (Because she thinks it's funny)

After Margaret was sent away Mrs Andrews, their neighbor helped Scott take care of Coppelia and her brother.

This caused her to became a mother figure to her and she calls her mom!

She doesn't like any of the animatronics and once she got so scared as a child that she threw up and cried.

Coppelia is her families only daughter and tue older twin, taking most characteristics after her father. She is very hyperactive and playful, often tinkering with machinery like her father when he was younger. She can't be still for long, yet somehow she never runs out of energy either. She loves playing around with her siblings which often leads her to be a bit competitive and rough. She always feels a bit guilty because she accidentally hurts them or make them cry! The reason she prefers playing with her siblings still, is because she gets bullied at school too. Unlike her father though, she puts up a fight which gets her in trouble. Surprisingly Coppelia never noticed the issues her family had before her siblings went missing and her parents were even more unstable than what was normal to her. As if she didn't already struggle sleeping it got even worse for her, grieving heavily at the fact she might not even see her twin brother or younger brother again. She didn't know what to do and was afraid of when her father had to get back to work, but Margaret wasn't there anymore. Luckily their friendly neighbor Mrs Andrews would offer to watch over her and her baby brother, offering her support to the girl and comforting her. She knew what it was like loosing someone.

Name: Charlie Afton.

Nickname: Charles.

Age: 11 (When he died)

Charlie is the twin brother of Coppelia!

Struggles with anxiety.

His favorite animatronic is puppet.

He really likes collecting porcelain dolls.

Enjoys listening to the music box because it was a lullaby his parents used to comfort him with as a baby.

Charlie is actually left handed but forces himself to use his right to blend in!

The lefty animatronic was based on a stuffed teddy bear he owned.

Later Scott recreated Lefty as a animatronic to capture Charlie.

Like Scott he is also clumsy and skittish.

He is very pale and easily gets bruised.

To avoid people assuming bad things about his home life, he wears make-up, long sleeves and pants.

He originally wore make-up to just hide his bruises but started to enjoy it!

His parents find this adorable and often his mother helps him experiment around with her make-up stash!

Even though he keeps calm under stressful situations, when conflicts arises his anxiety skyrockets.

Especially when his and Coppelia's bullies search for them during school.

He knows Margaret has a drinking problem but hasn't said that he knows.

He hates when his parents argue because of how his brother accidently got in the way and was injured in the past. Luckily it never happened again.

His favorite cousin is Chris, someone he heavily sympathizes with!

Vincent stabbed Charlie multiple times in the lungs out of drunken rage, leaving him outside to bleed out in the rain.

Charlie is the oldest son and younger twin, taking a lot after both his parents. He is quite gloomy, clumsy and introverted but a passionate caretaker like his mother. Like his sister they're not exactly popular at school and the kids often picked on them, but Coppelia was there to protect him! Sometimes he wishes he would be able to do the same, to show that he was capable.. But all he could do was run and get the teacher. He makes up for this when he is able to protect his brother and the missing children after he is killed by Vincent outside of the pizzeria. The reason he died was because he was waiting for Scott to finish working after Maggie forgot to pick him up. Then the same children who bullied him and his sister threw him outside and locked the door. At first he blamed both his parents for his death, but stopped holding a grudge against them when he realized Scott and Michael tried to free them behind the scenes.

Younger siblings:

Name: Bartholomew Fritz Afton.

Nickname: Bart, Fritz

Age: 7 (When he died)

Has ADHD.

His favorite animal is the fox, hence why he loves and adores foxy.

He has an obsession with pirates and pretends to be one all the time!

His favorite holiday is Halloween.

He likes to tease and be the annoying younger brother, often copying Coppelia's behavior.

Whenever he's bored he ask his parents or older siblings to read to him.

His favorite books are pirate books and books about norwegian folklore: because they have scary sea creatures.

Sings those kids nursery rhymes 24/7.

Hates loud shouting and glass breaking after he accidentally stood between his parents when they were arguing.

His favorite cousin is Brenda because she likes playing pirates with him!

Vincent lured Bart to parts and service, breaking his kneecaps, cutting of his hand and slicing his throat. It was so deep he pretty much decapitated him.

Bartholomew also known as Bart for short, is the second oldest son. He is hyperactive and outgoing to the fullest, insisting he is the leader of any group he comes across, siblings or friends. You'll often see him wearing pirate gears and singing songs, dragging around his younger brother who happily follows. He also never stops talking about what interests him and struggles knowing when to stop. He loves pirates, sea creatures and foxy! Bart also always unintentionally gets himself into trouble, even if it isn't his fault and while he loves his father the most, he hates being punished by him and go to the thinking corner. After he was killed by his own uncle Vincent, like the other missing children he can't trust adults and is very aggressive. Even to his own father Scott, when he figured out he possessed Foxy and tried to communicate with him.

Name: Sammy Afton.

Nickname: Sam.

Age: 4 (in 1984)

He is a very bubbly boy, who easily make people smile.

He is somewhere on the autism spectrum.

His favorite animatronic is balloon boy.

Balloon boy was inspired by Sam's younger appearance and made by Scott.

He has a huge sweetooth and will try to steal sweets when no one is watching!

Margaret jokinly and affectionately calls him a ''menace'' to her existence.

He loves being around other people, which is why he always follows his brother or mother around.

He has a few funny quirks, such as rocking back and forth when he is excited, walking on his toes or biting on things.

He also tends to be so quiet that Scott got scared by him multiple times becuse he was just standing there, smiling at him.

His favorite thing is arts and crafts and he actually helped decorate the pizzeria along with other children there.

He loves playing with balloons, but hates when they pop, then he will start crying.

He used to be close with Bart before he went missing, now he is very attached to his older sister Coppelia.

His favorite cousin is Elizabeth because she offered him ice cream once.

Sammy is the youngest son and the only surviving family member of the Afton family with his older sister after Michael and his parents. As a child he was a bubbly boy filled with laughter, often finding himself following others around rather than leading the way like his older brother Bart. He was very young when his brothers disappeared and when he got older he struggled remembering them. When Maggie was sent away to the mental hospital, Scott retired to take care of him and was finally able to improve on his parental skills. When Sammy became an adult he started working under Fazbear entertainment despite the history it held to his family with his sister.

[the-garbanzo-annex-jr]

by Jake Wallis Simons

The Gray Lady even contrasted the two incidents in a way that painted the American atrocity favourably while casting Israeli intentions in doubt. The Kabul attack, it said, ‘came after a suicide bombing killed at least 182 people, including 13 American troops, during the frantic American withdrawal from the country. Under acute pressure to avert another attack, the US military believed it was tracking a terrorist who might imminently detonate another bomb. Instead, it killed an Afghan aid worker and nine members of his family.’

The Gaza strike, however, ‘adds fuel to accusations that Israel has bombed indiscriminately’, the New York Times said, pre-empting the results of the independent investigation with breathless speculation and a healthy dose of ‘confirmation bias’ of its own. The assumption could not be clearer: whereas the Americans were acting out of panic and confusion, the Israelis were either acting out of disregard for human life or straightforward bloodlust.

Civilian deaths, including those of aid workers, are a tragic reality of modern warfare. Sixty-two humanitarian workers lost their lives in combat zones last year. Although they were mostly killed at the hands of autocratic regimes and militias, during wartime they are also the casualties of democracies, including Britain.

During the Libyan civil war in 2011, when David Cameron had his hands on the joystick, 13 people were killed by a NATO airstrike, including an ambulance driver, three nurses and some friendly troops. (He did not, surprisingly, subject his own government to the type of rhetoric that he has recently been levelling at the Israelis over the mistaken Gaza strike.) That same week, NATO wiped out a family near Ajdabiya in the north of the country. This year, even the Danish military was forced to admit that its aerial assault had claimed the lives of 14 Libyan civilians.

The difference between attitudes towards most Western armed forces and the Israelis could not be sharper. According to the UN, the average combatant-to-civilian death ratio in war around the world is one to nine. When Britain, America and our allies battled Islamic State in Mosul in 2016-17, we achieved a much more respectable rate of about one to 2.5. In Gaza, Israel has done better still, reaching about one to 1.5, and possibly even less.

[aropride]

circumstances ive gone to school/class under

actively on suicide watch, going to a crisis unit later that day

us presidential election (2016)

us presidential election (2024)

actively in a psychotic episode

heart rate of 160bpm

medically concerning wound (many such cases)

actively planning my suicide (several cases)

severe rib pain, planning urgent care visit

open title ix case, reloading my email every 10 minutes

0 hours of sleep (too busy scrolling on tiktok)

circumstances ive skipped class over

tummy hurt

head hurt

bought skittles in the vending machine and then they didnt vend, started sobbing in the lobby

legs hurt

open title ix case, reloading email every 10 minutes

overslept (many such cases)

only got 4 hours of sleep

only got 5 hours of sleep

anxious bc i skipped class the class before

ptsd flashbacks too bad to operate dangerous machinery

busy having panic attack

wanted to take a shower instead

didnt feel like going

[staydandy]

Evil Minds (2015) - 心理罪 - Whump List

List by StayDandy Synopsis : Fang Mu is a genius criminal profiler who successfully cracks a case after describing the past, present and future of a suspect yet he comes out of it damaged, broken and unable to continue his work. However, a series of murder case comes back to haunt him and he is forced to confront his past. (MDL) AKA : Evil Minds Season 1 | Psychological Crime | Criminal Minds | Profiler

Whumpee : Fang Mu played by Chen Ruo Xuan (right) • Tai Wei played by Wang Long Zheng (left)

Country : 🇨🇳 China Genres : Thriller, Mystery, Psychological, Crime, Bromance, Drama

Notes : This is a Full Whump List • TW : SA, Suicide

Related List : Evil Minds 2 (2016) - partial list

Episodes on List : 16 Total Episodes : 24

*Spoilers below*

01 : TW:SA

02 : (at end) Fang Mu jumps out of a moving car

03 : … continued from previous ep. ... Bandaged up at hospital … removes his own IV … nauseous at a crime scene, retching … ptsd triggered hallucination

04 : (near end) Hallucination

05 : Tai Wei hand cut stopping blade … (at end) Fang Mu hallucinating

06 : … continued from previous ep. ... Attacked; strangled, fight, hallucinating … nightmare

08 : [flashback] Nauseous at a crime scene

12 : [flashback] Punched … attacked

13 : [flashback] Fight; strangled.. Fang Mu & Tai Wei jump out a 2nd story window to escape an explosion

15 : Tai Wei has nightmare

16 : (at end) Nightmare

17 : TW:Suicide

19 : Nightmare … Fang Mu hallucinating … handcuffed

20 : … continued from previous ep. ... Arrested, mumbling/psychotic break, interrogated, revealed he's been hallucinating his long-dead girlfriend from the beginning, hallucinating again

21 : Tai Wei drunk … Fang Mu hallucinating … still handcuffed, jumps out a 2nd story window, bumped into by a car

22 : Tai Wei unconscious, tied to a chair, head bleeding.. tortured (teeth forcefully pulled)

23 : … continued from previous ep. ... Rescued (a lot of exposition in this ep)

24.. Fang Mu forced to recall a traumatic repressed memory, collapses … Tai Wei shot … Fang Mu in shock, unresponsive, hallucinating

[wolpertings]

This is a long shot, but back in, i wanna say 2016/17/18 There was a fanfic author who mainly wrote fall out boy fanfiction. I wanna say their name was something like waytogopatrick? I know they deleted everything bc I remember it happening, but i also know that some of the fics were preserved on the wayback machine.

Fics i remember:

1. Pete was a football player, and patrick was the team doctor. There was a whole thing where pete would relax right before attacking someone (like in a fight), and he ended up punching patrick? I think they also each had kids in this fic (not with each other, like independently).

2. Patrick moved to iceland because he wanted to look at Hvítserkur (troll rock), and he didn't speak the language or anything, but he was determined to live on this farm. One day, he goes out to sea to fish, and he ends up catching siren!pete. There's a whole thing about pete being put in the bathtub and listening to the radio so he can find a voice to immitate.

3. Patrick is a prodigy violin player, and he has to choose between playing violin or playing rock music. At the halfway point, he chooses the violin, and he goes to a prestigious music school that's physically damaging to himself. Theres a scene where in his final exam he had to play a piece, and because hes been going so hard on practicing his hands are all bandaged up because his fingerips are cut up, and he realises that he cant play with bandaids on so he pulls them off and the whole classroom winces in sympathy and he plays the piece perfectly? I think there was also a suicide attempt in this one.

They had like 5 fics (i can't remember the other two) and (from memory) were fantastically written, i remember being devastated when they were deleted. I also remeber that they had just started a new fic about the band being teenagers right before they disapeared (they got maybe 2 chapters into it?) If anyone has any leads, I'd greatly appreciate it :))

[fipindustries]

tw: mental health, psychological horror, suicide

i dont know if you guys know this. i dont know how long you guys have been following me, this is something that only those who have followed me since at least 2016 will be familiar with.

way back when i spent an entire year suffering strong anxiety attacks, but the way in which these panic attacks would manifest would be... mentally repugnant.

they were always heralded by a strong overpowering and persistent feeling of deja vu, that would then lead to mental confusion and disorganized thoughts, half formed bits of inner narration that didnt get to be fully verbalized, mental confusion, which would then lead to a powerful sense of unreality. the certainty that everything i was percieving was fake. that i was trapped in a simulation or that the people around me where robots or aliens or whatever. followed by even more deja vu and more mental confusion and half formed thougths.

this is some ancient fip lore im telling you guys i had to deal with this shit for the entiriety of 2016 and a little bit of 2017. it was hell on earth for me, it was literally feeling like i was in hell and my life had been an illusion in order to torture me. it was the closest i ever got to consider suicide in my life. some of you veteran mutuals and followers might remember this.

well, it's happening again, after almost 8 years without it, i am currently experiencing that again. the terror, the mental confusion, the shakes, the palms of my hands cold sweating, the deja vu, the horror.

it's happening again, right now.

im familiar with it, and is not the strongest example of it ive went through, i know how to handle these panic attacks better now, as you can see im coming off as very coherent in this post, do i not? dont i sound perfectly calm and rational?

well im not, my insides are made of terrified snakes right now and my mind can barely hold a coherent train of thought and im shaking incontrollably and i am expiriencing sheer, sourceless, generalized raw terror. so

mh

i did not miss this at all.

[oleander-in-drag]

helloo i saw your post abt the Bluebird saga in the community and i don't think I was around for the whole saga but it sounds so crazy 😭, could you link your longer post about it?

Hiii!! Unfortunately I can’t link it because it was on an old account I don’t have anymore, but I can just re-explain it because the whole saga has been living in my mind rent free for the past 8 years or something lmao.

Basically, Bluebird was a Dan and Phil fanfiction that was posted around 2016/2017 maybe? I don’t remember the exact date, but I would have been around 14 when I first read it. It was a really long fic and surprisingly well-written, especially considering the type of fics the phandom was used to, so it grew really popular really quickly.

I can’t give a full synopsis because it’s been years since I read it, but basically Dan and Phil were both orphans/care kids (I think Dan’s mum was still alive, I recall them meeting later on when he’s an adult) who met each other in a care home and became close friends. They’d read books together, with The Bridge to Terabithia and The Outsiders being notable favourites of theirs (these will become important later), and were more or less friends for the entirety of their childhood.

Then they were adopted together by a Scottish couple and suddenly became brothers, but this is where everything started going wrong, because Dan really struggled. Like seriously, the poor guy didn’t receive a single break throughout the whole story 😭. On his first day of his new school, for example, he had a panic attack and was soon diagnosed with anxiety, and he couldn’t really make any friends. I remember them meeting these two other kids, but only Phil was able to strike up a friendship with them, while Dan was always left out or bullied. The adoptive parents also clearly favourited Phil, and overall, Dan was not having a good time. His mental health was constantly deteriorating, he was battling with a lot of past demons (I think he had experienced CSA from either his father or from a step father and it left him grappling with his sexuality later on) and to make matters worse, he was trying to completely suppress his crush on Phil. It should be noted that this was all from Phil’s perspective, so we only got outward glimpses of Dan’s struggles, and the two became quite distant as they grew up.

Anyway, fast forward to the end of the fanfiction, and eventually the two finally admit their feelings for each other (which they’d both been suppressing since childhood, although Phil was more open about being gay than Dan was iirc). Dan took Phil to a motel and they had a “magical” night together, and then uh…

TW// suicide 

The next morning Phil found a suicide note, which ended with “Stay gold, darling and I’ll see you in Terabithia” (references to both their favourite childhood books and the bane of my entire existence. I literally cannot watch Bridge to Terabithia without thinking of this fic. I read the Outsiders for the first time last year and nearly had a heart attack seeing that quote because I hadn’t known that it was the book referenced in the fic). Dan had disappeared completely, so Phil rushed home in a panic but he was too late and by the time he reached his street, all he saw were police lights outside their house.

Needless to say, Dan did not survive the end.

The fanfiction was… devastating, to say the least. I think that’s what caused such a stir, because people were literally losing their minds at the absolute heartbreak the author was putting everyone through. It quickly gained a significant following, and there was a time back in 2017 where half of every single phan account on Twitter had “stay gold, darling” in their bio. Like, people went crazy over it, I cannot emphasise this enough. There were group chats dedicated to it.

The thing is, though, the phandom still had a huge problem with dehumanising Dan and Phil at this point and I think Bluebird only made things worse. We didn’t see Dan and Phil as real people, they were just these characters in this devastating fanfiction, and that made people cross a lot of boundaries. I saw some people actively recommend the fanfiction to Dan and Phil, and I don’t think I need to explain why that would have been utterly terrible. It was along the same vein as the people who wanted them to play DDLC even after finding out about Dan’s depression.

Because like… here’s the thing, that fanfiction was triggering. Even for just an average reader it got really fucking heavy at times, so if Dan or Phil had actually read it, it would not have been good. They would not have found it in any way fun or amusing, but some people just did not respect that.

To be as fair as possible to the author (who was not encouraging anyone to share it with Dan and Phil), this fanfiction was written before Dan released the video about his depression, so the author probably didn’t know that what they were writing hit so close to home. In fact, I think the depression video is what gave the phandom the wake up call it needed to stop treating the fanfiction like a tragic romance. I distinctly remember being 14 and seeing the release of that video and the colour draining out of my face as my first thought was “oh my god… Bluebird had some truth in it.” Like, I had never been one of those people who recommended the fic directly to Dan and Phil, but I was still 14 and a little bit stupid, so I too had been joining in with the cult following that the fanfiction had grown without any thought to any potential consequences. The release of that video stopped this immediately for me.

I also think it made the author re-think as well, but I absolutely don’t have any real evidence for this, I just know that the video was around the time things started declining. What happened to the author was a separate but related issue, in that they were planning a second fic (and had actually posted the first chapter, which I read before it got taken down) about Dan and Phil being child murderers based on the real life murder case of James Bulger.

Now… if you are British, you immediately know why this was quite possibly the worst fanfiction idea anyone has ever had. This was not a case to be taken lightly in any way, especially considering the victim’s family was still very much alive, so people were rightfully horrified by this. In the case of fairness, I don’t know how old the author was at the time (although judging by their writing skills, probably old enough to know better) and I’m absolutely not going to pass judgement on something that happened 8 years ago that I don’t have full context on. I also remember the author being completely chased off the internet, because I spoke to them a few days before they deleted every single one of their accounts and fanfictions— including Bluebird. So a part of me does still feel bad about the harassment mob they faced, yet I am definitely old enough now to understand why their initial actions were incredibly insensitive. Regardless, I wish no ill will of them, and I hope to god no one ever finds them again and drags them down into a mess they probably want to forget about forever.

And thus ends the saga of Bluebird, I guess?? I mean, I’m sure there are plenty more rabbit holes I could fall down, but that’s the general gist of it. Looking back, while Bluebird was definitely a well-written story (and could have left an incredible legacy had it been about fictional characters rather than Dan and Phil), it definitely had its issues and controversies. There was a lot of romanticisation of mental health (which the author had been self aware about and admitted in the comment section that they had tried not to write it that way) and is overall best left in the past where it belongs. Most of my residual anger is directed towards the people who were trying to get Dan and Phil to read it, but even I can appreciate that a lot of those people were very young, and didn’t really understand the gravity of what they were suggesting. Hence, I’ve concluded that it was simply a very weird time in the phandom that now just feels like a fever dream.