#2010 i think was the height of my now now love but i think it was only really Saved that
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#this live version rocked my shit when i first saw it#i watched it so many times#like i remember pulling it up on my grandad's computer and watching it at his house before going to bed#bc i was sleeping in the computer room#it's still so good#2010 i think was the height of my now now love but i think it was only really Saved that#dulled my interest#i still revisit the EPs and Cars and lesser but still Threads fairly often#like this performance just rocks#Youtube
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|MY TAKE ON THA ERIC SURVEY :3|
Full name: Rebel Faust
Nicknames: Reb, rev
Birthplace: dw Abt allat
Birthday: 2/14/2010
Where Do You Live Now?: my house
Parent(s): Mr. & Ms. Faust
Sibling(s): 2
Looks: 5'6" 127, pretty slim-ish build, sum acne
Favorite Animal(s): Dogs, cats, doe, n bunnies
Favorite TV Show(s): Hannibal, hello kitty and friends
Favorite Kind(s) Of Music: industrial, cybergoth, EDM, jump style, rock, metal
Favorite Movie(s): duck! The carbine high massacre, zero day, elephant, Texas chainsaw massacre, the hills have eyes, the infamous bondage murders, American psycho n sum otherz i don't remember
School: sum silli skool near my house
Future School: none
Future Job: none atm
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: I hav a bf <3 (poly)
Best Buds: my very silli friendgroup of like 13 ppl
Favorite Candy: I don't like candy
Hobbies: doomscrolling through Tumblr, drawing, listening to music, watching edits of Eric n Dylan, texting my friends, playing doom on my laptop, n planning my silli outfits
Things You Collect: glass shards, pop tabs, beer bottle tabs,stickers, columbine refs, shiny stuff
Do You Have A Personal Phone Line: hell yeah
Favorite Body Part Of The Opposite Sex?: hands
Any Tattoos And Where Of What?: Not yet
Piercing(s) And Where?: I have a septum piercing
What Do You Sleep in?: my kmfdm t-shirt n boxers
Do you like Chain Letters: hell no
Best Advice: who cares if u think u look cringey, I guarantee no one cares cuz I've seen ppl who look horrendous in public n no one says shit
Favorite Quotes: "fucker should be shot." "I regret nothing." "MSI makes you wicked gay!!" "C'mon don't break your teeth, baby.."
Non-sport Activity You Enjoy: being cringey and ironic on the interweb, researching stuff I like for hours on end
Dream Car: hummer or a dodge Challenger hellcat SRT in black
Favorite Thing To Do In Spring: stay inside cuz it's too fuckin humid and I'm not rlly allowed to go out
Whatâs Your Bedtime: whenever
Where Do You Shop?: shein, AliExpress, Amazon, very rarely hot topic and jus mostly online
Coke or Pepsi: Coke
Favorite Thing(s) To Wear?: cargo pants, band tshirts, combat boots, mostly black clothes
Favorite Subject(s) In School?: Biology
Favorite Color(s): black and crimson
Favorite People To Talk To Online: my friends n mutuals
Root-Beer or Dr. Pepper? Dr pepper
Do You Shave? whenever I feel like it
Favorite Vacation Spot(s): woods
Favorite Family Member(s): older brother
Did You Eat Paint Chips When You Were a Kid? No
Favorite CD you own: I don't have any atm
The ONE Person Who You Hate The Most: my ex
Favorite Food(s): I don't have any favs, I don't like food
Who Is The Hottest Guy or Girl In The World?: joey smack and William hellfire
What Is Your Favorite Salad Dressing?: ranch
When You Die, Do You Wanna Be Buried or Burned Into Ashes? Burned
Do You Believe In Aliens?: hell yeah
If You Had The Chance To Professionally Do Something, What would You Do?: exist
Things You Obsess Over: columbine, my boyfriend, postal, my husbands (joey smack And William hellfire)
Favorite Day of the Week: friday
A Teacher You Hate: my German teacher
Favorite Disney Movie: none
What Is Your Favorite Season? Late fall
What Toppings Do You Like On Your Pizza? peperoni
Do You Like Your School Food Itself (As In The District Food): hell no
If You Could Live Anywhere, Where Would You Live? Stockholm Sweden
Favorite Thing(s) To Do On Weekends: occasionally drink and play postal aswell as research columbine stuff
Favorite Thing(s) To Get Clean up: wha?
Favorite Magazine(s): gun magazines
Favorite Flower(s): lily of the valley, roses and orchids
Favorite Number(s): 666, 1999, and 3
Favorite Ice Cream flavor(s): cookie dough, coffee, and mint
What Kind of Guys/Girls Are You Attracted to?: possessive, loving, nerdy guys that don't judge me or try to change me
Whatâs Your Most Embarrassing Moment? Reporting to my schools admin when I got sa'd
If You Could Change One Thing About Yourself What Would It be? My height
Do You Eat Breakfast First Then Brush Your Teeth or Brush first then eat breakfast: i eat breakfast and then i brush my teeth
Favorite Time of Day: 12am
Can A Guy and Girl Be Just âBest Friends?â: ofc
Do You Ask The Girl / Guy Out Or Do You Wait For Them To Come To You?: depends on the person but usually I wait
Do You Mind Paying For Sex? Lil too young for that yet but not rlly ig?
Whatâs The Most Important thing In Someoneâs Personality: honesty
Do you have a pager or cell phone? Yep
Favorite Sport: none
What Was the Best Gift You Ever Received? The plushie my bf gave me and a note he gave me
How Long Did This Letter Take You To Finish?: like 30 mins to copy, paste and answer
What Did You Listen To While Completing It?: a cybergoth playlist
Are you or would you like to be married in the near future (next 5 years)?: nope
Donât u just hate how psychics never win the lottery? Jus rob somewhere atp
#tc community#tcc fandom#tcc tumblr#tccblr#columbine 1999#columbine school shooting#dylan columbine#eric columbine#duck! the carbine high massacre
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BL ships that I will never forget:
In a few weeks it's gonna be 14 years of obsessing over queer media, especially BL, so here are the ships always on my mind in no particular order.
Arata & Shingyouji (Takumi-kun Series 4: Pure, 2010): Listen the Takumi-kun Series from 2007 to like 2011 was my life as a (pre-)teen. In hindsight really sketchy but anyway haha. Those two really caught my eye back then though (especially their racy kisses) and I was happy they got their own bigger part in one of the movies.
Evan & Isak (Skam Season 3, 2016): Was there a queer European teen that wasn't obsessed with this season of Skam? I remember re-watching it so many times I could recite their text without speaking Norwegian. Plenty of beautiful Skam universe parallel couples out there but these two will remain the iconic blueprint.
ChenAi (Kiseki: Dear to me, 2023): Almost unfair to put them on here but seeing how I haven't been able to think about any other ship every single day for the last 3 months, I feel like it's justified. They just have everything I want and need to get hyperfixated on.
Seiryo & Yuzuru (Seven Days, 2015): Oh my, the way I loved this silly concept and how funny it was yet they managed to get me all emotionally involved in the span of two movies? Insane chemistry and just..everything I needed back then. Especially since it was then one of the very few BL's I saw without a sad ending.
KornKnock (Bad Romance 2016, Together With Me 2017 - 2018): Listen, plot wise Manner of Death is the absolute height to me but when it comes to MaxTul I will never forget them as Korn and Knock in these series. Forever grateful to all the fanvids that led me to finding my BL fathers. Chemistry forever out of this world. Also shout out to Yiwha, best female character in any BL and my wife.
WinTeam (Until We Meet Again 2019, Between Us 2023): The couple that made me aware of what second lead syndrome was because I waited so long for more of them, it felt eternal. I don't think I will ever get tired of these two.
VegasPete (KinnPorsche, 2022): Who said I couldn't like a toxic ship? These two took me by surprise, I didnt even know they were going to be a ship in the series. Definitely acknowledging how fucked up they are yet at the same time it's the forst toxic ship that really got me. I love them, in my own weird way.
HaoGu (HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count, 2019): I mourned them like I have mourned no other couple. I should have known from the title but they really lead me astray. My beautiful boys, the star crossed lovers. They still get me emotional now, I might go cry now.
Hira & Kiyoi (Utsukushii Kare, 2021 - 2023): Before ChenAi there were Hira and Kiyoi who absolutely owned my heart. I love how misunderstood by BL fans they were who claimed their toxicity. Meanwhile I simply love how weird their relationship is and getting to see a real Tsundere in action. I'm obsessed with them.
Honourable Mention: Kim Jae Wook as Min Sun Woo in Antique Bakery, 2008. The very first gay character I saw in Korean media. Forever iconic, forever in my heart.
#BL series#japanese bl#korean bl#thai bl#taiwanese bl#takumi-kun series#kiseki: dear to me#kiseki dear to me#history 3: make our days count#modc#skam#seven days: monday - Thursday#seven days: friday - sunday#Bounprem#between us#maxtul#natlouis#biblebuild#until we meet again#my beautiful man
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My fashion interview
Who is your favourite model? Kate moss, Anna Selezneva, Frida Aasen
What current designer are you obsessed with? Ann Demeulemeester
Do you own any designer pieces? Yes, Delvaux bag, Ralp Lauren bag, âŚ
High heels or flats? High heels
Do you believe the height of a model should matter the way it does now? I just think that itâs unfair that short nepo babies can walk the runway while other short and hardworking models canât.
Whatâs your favourite era in fashion? 2010s
One trend you hate? Clean girl aesthetic and fitting in the beauty standards
Favourite fashion week? Paris, just because i adore Paris tbh, also London and NY though
If you could have any job in the fashion industry, what would it be? journalist, model, fashion content creator or graphic designer
Are you a fan of minimalism in fashion? Sure but i like something more âextraâ
Opinions on VOGUE? Love
What brand would you like to represent as a model? Dolce & Gabbana, Alexander McQueen, Isabel Marant, Balenciaga, Ann Demeulemeester, Dior, Mugler
What model would be your muse if you were a photographer? Gabriette, Frida Aasen
What change do you want to see in the fashion industry? Shorter models
Favourite magazine? Vogue ofc
Opinion on nepotism in the industry? I donât like that people donât give the attention to the other models that work harder 99% of the time, all the attention goes to the nepobabies
Whoâs your favourite photographer? Steven Meisel
Which character (from a movie, series or film) is your fashion icon? Effy Stonem and Georgina Sparks
What song would you play at your own fashion show? Oblivion and heads will roll
Do you like street style photography? Yes
What topics would you write about if you were a fashion journalist? Fashion history and trend predictions
If you could only wear one brand for the rest of your life, what would it be? Ann Demeulemeester, Balenciaga, Alexander McQueen
Dream bag and shoes? Balenciaga city bag and Isabel marant boots, Givenchy shark boots đ§ââď¸ (i have ones that look like them but arenât from the brand itself)
Spring Summer or Fall Winter collections? Fall 1000%
#fashionblog#girl blogger#blogging#blog#just a girlblog#this is a girlblog#grungy girls#this is what makes us girls#girlblogging#girlblog#effy stonem#kate moss#frida aasen#anna selezneva#kate mess#2010s tumblr#2010s#2010s aesthetic#2010s fashion#fashion#model of duty#style inspiration#runway fashion#runway#vintage fashion#2000s fashion#fashion model#alexander mcqueen#balenciaga#ann demeulemeester
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Times I Remember Well
(and Some That I Donât)
Part 1

authorâs note: Iâm really excited to have something to share with you guys. Itâs written from a diff POV than I usually do, but my main character girly pop has a lot of personality đ Big big big thank you to bff @samkiszkasfacialhair for all the help, the ideas, and the motivation đ¤
pairing: female!OCxkiszkas (just read it, youâll figure it out)
time frame: 2010-2014
word count: 5.7k this part
warnings: language, illicit substance use, rampant teenage emotions and delulu, kissing, josh đĽş
I donât actually remember the day I met Sam Kiszka.
Not the date, or even the day of the week. I do know what year it was, because it was the year my mom moved us to this quaint (read: weird) little town. Charming, but weird. And boring.
Boring, until I met Sam.
Eleven-year-old Sam was a menace, but twelve-year-old me was bored. So obviously, we became the best of friends. He taught me how to light a firecracker, I had an endless supply of Barbies to blow up. He showed me how to slip out of my bedroom window without making a sound, I told him how to impress girls without grossing them out. In our early teenage years, he introduced me to drugs and I taught him how to unclasp a bra. Chill out, it was weed, and I wasnât even wearing the bra.
My mom just loved that Iâd made such a great friend.
The first time I was allowed to play at his house I met his sister, who was closer to my age, but it was too late. Sam and I were already attached at the hip, though mine sat an inch or two higher than his for a couple of years, until a growth spurt and puberty eventually left him with the height advantage.
That was when he stopped calling me by my name, and started calling me Tiny. Like I said, a menace.
âYouâre the coolest girl I know, even if youâre vertically challenged.â
Please note: the first time he said this to me, he had finally just surpassed me in height by half an inch.
Then of course, there were the twins. Youâd think the eldest siblings would not have become a big part of my life, but they were just always around, and actually liked hanging out with their baby brother. Close knit family and all that. Itâs weird, right? At the wise and worldly age of twelve, the two fourteen-year-olds terrified me. Josh and Jake were both scary in their own way to a pubescent girl on the cusp of teenager-dom. Jake was pretty quiet, but his ego was not. He was hot, okay? In like, a Justin Bieber-y way but also kind of a jock-y way, but a jock with a guitar. Whatever, Iâm only human.
Josh was⌠well, Josh was Josh. Unlike anyone else Iâd ever met, and not necessarily in a good way. He was loud, like, all the time. He never seemed to stop talking and ended most of his sentences at an eardrum-piercing decibel level. Fortunately, or not, he didnât get hot until I was old enough to obsess over it.
Iâm sure I didnât speak a coherent word to either of them the entire first year of my friendship with Sam.
I have a million memories of the time I spent with Sam and his family, but I have no recollection of the day I fell in love with Josh Kiszka.
But once I did, it was a deep, obsessive kind of love that only a teenager can achieve. One day he was my best friendâs eccentric older brother and the nextâŚ
Well, the next he was a rockstar.
I mentioned the whole jock with a guitar thing that Jake had going on, and that really hadnât changed, but somewhere along the way Josh had transformed from a loud, annoying theater kid to a genuine, full blown vocalist. I mean, for a while he was both.
When they first started playing together, I only gave a shit because theyâd roped Sam into it too and it took up way too much of his time. Iâd watch them play, and they werenât⌠bad? They werenât good either. My time could have been better spent watching R rated movies (scandalous) or, I donât know, doing my homework. But nope! We were in a band now.
They practiced, a lot. It felt like all they did was practice, for at least a couple years. And I just watched dutifully, every weekend of every month of every year. They did get better.
But hereâs the thing. I was there for all of it. I was there the day Jake ran into the living room and snatched Sam up by the back of his shirt. Come on Sammy boy, we need you on bass. I was there the day their buddy Kyle sat down at the drum kit and completed the ensemble. (I was also there the day he got replaced.) And of course, I was there the day Josh pushed his voice past the instruments and the amps, and went from a weak imitation of a rock singer to something else all together. Something totally and completely him.
Thatâs not the day I fell in love with him (I wouldâve remembered), but it was the first time he had ever⌠impressed me. And not that I cared, but Jake was impressed too. I saw it on his face.
It was cute. In like, a sweet, brotherly way.
Okay, anyway! The combination of Jakeâs skill and Joshâs raw talent got them noticed. (Sammyâs talent would develop over time, I didnât forget about him. Sam, youâre the most talented one in the band.) And then they were playing actual gigs. I wasnât allowed to go to most of those early ones, because for some reason these dive bars were permitting these pint sized, teenage Zeppelin wannabes to perform at them. Old people like our parents loved that shit. The locals went crazy for it.
They played Fischer Hall a couple times, right there in town, but around their third or fourth gig there, Josh had unbuttoned the flowy, floral, womenâs blouse he was wearing and took to the stage with it hanging open, beaded necklaces draped down his bare chest and curly hair wild.
Why was he sort of⌠ripped? How had I never noticed? Were his pants always so tight? And low cut? I was sweating. I didnât even know he was literally cosplaying Robert Plant.
Did I fall in love with him that night? Of course not, I already told you I donât remember the day that happened.
The Saturday after my sixteenth birthday, I left my house around 8:30 to head to Samâs. To my mom, this was an average Saturday night - I spent nearly all of them at Samâs house, where his parents were always home. Ya know, or so mine thought. Whether the Kiszkas were actually home or not, we hung out in the garage.
Thatâs not as weird as it sounds, it was a really cool garage. With furniture and everything. And their instruments, a lot of them. I donât know how every one of these guys knew how to play every instrument packed into that room, but they did. And by the time I was sixteen, they were really almost good at it.
(Jake was good. Very good⌠I told you he was hot.)
This particular Saturday though, this was going to be the Saturday that changed my life. And I wanted to dress the part.
In hindsight, I wore something Iâd probably worn a hundred times. Then why had it taken me so long to get ready? I changed my jeans twice, my shirt at least ten times, added a sweater, threw it back on my bed, added a flannel, tossed that to the floor. Picked it back up and shoved my arms in, made sure it hung off my shoulder just so. Shoulders are sexy, right? Do guys like shoulders? Oh shit, what do guys even like?
Anyway, I left the house looking exactly as I always did.
I rode my bike slowly that night, already hyper aware of the sweat under my arms.
So I slowed my pedaling even further. When the house came into view, I hopped off the bike and walked it up the drive before tossing it to the grass outside the garage.
Okay, knock twice and just go in.
Thatâs what everyone always did, what I always did. Just knock twice then lift the door. Everyone was always welcome, come on in!
So go in, idiot.
Look, I did it eventually. Just like always, knock knock, lift the door enough to slip underneath, let it close behind me. Except when it rolled back to the ground, I lost my nerve and stood frozen there for a few seconds too long.
Sam called me out, because heâs a menace.
âThe hell are you doing, Tiny? We started without you.â
I moved farther into the space, eyes bouncing between my options through the soft haze of pungent smoke that already hung over the room. There was my usual spot - on the floor, next to the spot where Sam sat cross-legged, his long frame folded and bent, his sharp elbows resting on his knees as he waited for the joint to make its way back to him.
Not tonight, Iâm on a mission.
Jake sat to his left, in a well-worn, floral print wingback chair. It was comfortable enough for one person, decades of weight softening the strength of the cushionâs springs before it ever came to live in this particular garage. Jakeâs body was slung over it, legs thrown haphazardly over an arm while his own were wrapped around an acoustic guitar. Typical. He tipped his chin at me from under the brim of a bucket hat, then nodded towards the floor beside him. Holy shit, does he want me to sit by him?! I think my fingers lifted in a barely-there wave but Iâm not really sure they were functioning correctly.
Okay focus, he did not. Does not. Not in this lifetime.
Still without his next hit, Sam glanced up at me over his shoulder and patted the threadbare throw rug next to him. âSit down weirdo, youâre making me paranoid.â
Nerves that Iâd never, never, felt before in this room fluttered through my stomach, I let my gaze meet Samâs before continuing the search for a place to plant myself.
There was really only one option left - the couch - and both ends were already occupied. Our friend Danny (Kyleâs replacement, sorry Kyle) was in the process of melting into the corner closest to Jake, his eyes glassy and already tinged pink when he looked up at me. Only his eyebrows lifted in greeting before he mirrored Samâs offer to sit next to him, tapping the cushion beside him.
This is fine, totally normal! Danny was Samâs other half. Well, his other male half. I guess we were in thirds. A trio.
I accepted the offering, stepping around the coffee table, scarred with years worth of âartâ - drawings and carvings, a few discreet dirty words etched into the surface in between - to drop to the middle of the couch. One of Samâs brows tipped up when I met his eyes again, his expression asking, âDude, what gives?â
âHey, youâre here!â He noticed me, finally. Silvery smoke crept from between his lips as he grinned, and I watched transfixed when they pursed together and he blew a cloud toward the ceiling. My stare was broken when he leaned across the table and passed the joint to an impatient Sam, but to the delight of the butterflies going nuts in the pit of my stomach, he leaned back into the cushions and threw an arm over the back of the couch behind me. EEEEP!
âHey-â It was a humiliating and unsexy croak, and I quickly cleared my throat and tried again. âHey, Josh. Hi.â
His long hair was pulled back, his entire face available for my viewing pleasure. Things were going perfectly.
I joined the rotation, the weed easing the flutters caused by sitting so close to Josh, but amplifying the feeling that the other three were watching and wondering why I was acting so strange.
They were not. They were high.
Aside from the stray curious eyebrow from my BFF across the table, they actually acted like nothing was abnormal about my seating choice, even when I started to scooch imperceptibly to my left every time I adjusted the way I was sitting.
Pulled my legs up under me? Scooch.
Dropped them down so my sneakers met the cement? Scooch.
Crossed my left ankle over my right knee? Scooch.
It was totally subtle.
âIâm gonna grab a pop, you guys want anything?â Sam startled me out of a pleasant reverie as he jumped up from the floor, but my freaking knee was touching Joshâs knee! No I donât want anything, I have everything I need right here!
It turned out Sam was a huge knee blocker. He gripped me by an elbow and peeled me from the couch as the others murmured at our retreating backs about needing Doritos. He pushed me out the side door and towards the house and had me in the kitchen before I could even tell him he was ruining everything!
Even through bleary, hooded eyes, his death glare was brutal.
âSaaammmmm, what are you doing?!â âWhat the hell do you think youâre doing, T?â
More glaring. He broke the glare-off first, jerking his head to the side to flick his hair out of his eyes and turning to open the refrigerator, but once his face was inside it, he called me out again.
âWhy are you being so weird with Josh?â
I love him, I need him!
âWhaaa.. I donât know what you mean. Youâre just super high.â Yeah, I really thought that would work. Sue me!
Straightening to his full height (seriously, like two inches taller than me⌠maybe three), he spun to face me again. He actually looked down his nose at me.
âDo you like, like him? What the fuck, Tiny?â He whispered that last part, as if his parents were lurking around the corner waiting to bust him for cussing.
âLook, you wouldnât understand Sam. Iâm much older than y-â
âYouâre not even an entire year older than me.â
âEleven months is basically an entire ye-â
âThatâs not the point!â That part was like whisper yelling. I swear it looked like he was yelling, but it sounded like he was whispering.
âOkay!â Yeah, I whisper yelled back. âSammy, I like him⌠Iâm sorry! I donât even know when it happened but I woke up one day and I realized that heâs perfect! Heâs funny and nice and heâs so⌠so⌠cute! Okay? Heâs so cute I wanna die and I love him!â
Samâs eyes were wide, as wide as they could be under the circumstances, and he stared at me like Iâd grown another head. With a horn coming out of it.
âYou love him. You realize how dumb you sound right now?â
Dumb? No no, this was serious. I pleaded with my best friend for forgiveness. And his help. âSam⌠please. Donât be mad at me, I- I donât know, I canât help it! Thatâs just how I feel, and I want him to like me back!â Thatâs when it hit me, I needed a wingman for this plan.
âCan you help me get him to like me back?â I gave him my best puppy dog eyes, bottom lip stuck out and everything. As if that had ever worked in the four years weâd known each other so far.
���Fuck no.â His eyes moved side to side, looking for sneaky parents again I guessed. âDefinitely not. Why do you have to like my brother, dude? Thatâs sick, itâs like incest or something!â He stomped his feet a little, and I couldn't help but think it made him look like a child. He was a child! This was serious, grown-up shit and I didnât have time to play games.
âUgh, if youâre not gonna help me then at least get out of my way.â I pushed past him and headed back out of the house and into the garage. Not much had changed when I got there, but Danny must have left while Sam and I were gone. The entire couch was empty aside from Josh, still sitting cross-legged in one corner. Damn it!
I flopped into the spot that Danny had vacated, just as Sam hustled back in through the side door, arms full of sodas and bags of chips. My cheeks were warm when I looked up at him, and then they burst into flames.
âScoot over T, I like the corner spot.â
Heâs helping me! Oh shit, heâs helping me. Move your ass!!
Fumbling for a grip on reality, I couldnât tear my eyes away from Samâs. He lifted his brows and tilted his head in Joshâs direction. I suddenly remembered why I wasted all my days with this kid - heâs my ride or die. And now I owed him, big.
As soon as I stood to shift to the center of the couch, Samâs elbow snuck out and made contact with my shoulder. My feet tangled with each other and, balance lost, I tumbled. Right into the arms of my beloved.
Okay okay, thatâs a reach. But I did land on him. Sam had nudged me just hard enough to send me toward the opposite end of the couch and I landed ass-first on Joshâs leg, still folded and crossed under the other.
Through the mortification, I heard Samâs distinct snickering as he placed himself gently on the other cushion. Then, through the popping of soda tabs and crinkling of chip bags, I heard the sweetest, most beautiful sound ever.
âIf you wanted to sit next to me so bad, you couldâve just done it, T.â
I quite literally had to extract myself from his lap, but Josh just giggled as I clumsily moved off of him. To my extreme delight and disbelief, I didnât make it too far. He slung an arm over my shoulders and kept me at his side. We are sharing a cushion. ALERT ALERT - OUR THIGHS ARE TOUCHING.
His hand wrapped around the ball of my shoulder and squeezed. Not once, but twice. I felt like I was gonna puke, but I risked turning my head and meeting his eyes. And he. Fucking. Smiled.
âYou good, Tiny?â I shouldâve laughed. We were the same exact height, I could be calling him tiny. But this wasnât funny, because he was still smiling at me and heâd lowered his voice to speak directly to me and I felt it all the way to my toes. Somehow I managed to smile back.
âIâm good.â I was soooooo good. Even when Sam shoved a bag of Doritos at me, I was good. Because Josh reached into it and pulled a few out for himself. He reached into my lap! For chips!
Risking a sideways glance at Sam, I found him eyeballing Joshâs hand that was still resting lightly over my shoulder. I gave him my best âholy shit holy shit holy shitâ expression, to which he rolled his eyes and shrugged. Before turning my attention back to the love of my life, my gaze drifted past Sam and landed on Jake. Oh, he was still here? Hadnât noticed.
Except I was noticing. And he didnât look pleased. He locked in and held eye contact, absolutely scowling. He was pissed. At me?! I must not have hidden my surprise well, because after a few more tense seconds of the longest eye contact weâd ever held, he blinked away and flung the guitar heâd been cradling all night over the arm of the chair.
Look, he didnât throw it or anything. The stand was right there and the guitar landed safely, if not a little roughly, in its place. But then he tossed the open bag of Layâs to the table, swung his legs around and stood. He caught my eye again, his hair doing that flippy thing over his eyebrows as he shook his head.
âWhatever. Night, guys.â
Just like that, he was gone. Two down, one to go. GTFO Sam!!
The next hour or so passed in a blur. Sam kept hitting the joint long after Josh and I had turned it down, and by the time heâd deposited the roach in the ashtray he could barely keep his eyes open. I watched his head fall back into the cushion and pounced on my opportunity.
Leaning away from Joshâs loving embrace (shut up, I was in heaven okay?), I slapped Samâs chest with the back of my hand.
âSammy⌠Sam!â He snorted as his head whipped up, swiped a hand over his mouth and looked at me. I was still leaning toward him, my back to Josh, and I spoke to him telepathically. Or with my eyebrows.
Get out of here right now or so help me God.
He answered verbally, like he couldn't even read my mind. âHuh?â
I withheld growling at him like an animal. âWhy donât you go to bed, man? Youâre toast.â Go. NOW.
His eyes tried to focus on me, they really did, before he shook his head and tried again. âShit. Yeah, okay. Are you⌠do you wanna stay on the couch tonight?â
Yes. This couch. Allll night long.
âYeah yeah, I will, but Iâm not tired yet. Iâm just gonna, um, chill here for a little bit longer?â At that, I turned my head and risked a glance at Josh. Thank God I did, because he was already looking at me, and he grinned. EEEEEEEP!
âIâm not tired yet either, we can listen to some music.â I doubted I could hear music at that point, not over the blood rushing in my ears. But then, oh then, he looked up at Sam and said, âIâll make sure she makes it to bed, I mean, the couch. Downstairs, Iâll make sure she makes it downstairs.â
âFine, whatever.â See? Heâs my ride or die. âSee you in the morning, T.â And then he was gone.
We were alone.
HELLO? WE. WERE. ALONE.
Sure, Iâd been alone with Josh before. Iâd been hanging around his house nearly every day for four years, weâd definitely been left in a room together at some point. But not while his arm was draped loosely over my shoulders, not while our legs were touching, not while my heart was about to beat out of my chest.
But now that we were alone, I had no effing clue what to do. Then Josh stood up. My heart dropped into my stomach, but he walked over to the stacked milk crates that housed a small part of their familyâs record collection and crouched to skim through them. He found something he liked and set it on the turntable, the needle bringing the crackling beginnings of a song to life.
When he turned back to face me, I thought for sure heâd sit in that ugly wingback chair. Or at the other end of the couch. Instead, he circled the coffee table and sat on the opposite side of me than he had been all night. And now his other thigh was touching mine!
Iâm pretty sure my throat closed up because I had to clear it rather unattractively to speak. âWhat, uhh, ha, um, who is this?â
Sexy, right?
Didnât matter, his smile took shape right in front of my eyes and all I could see was the little barely-there gap between his front teeth. I wanted to know what it felt like on my tongue. Would I be able to tell? If I kissed him right now, would I be able to feel that little discrepancy in the perfection of his teeth? I lifted my eyes to meet his and realized heâd spoken, and Iâd missed it.
âSorry, uhh⌠what?â
His head tilted and his eyes searched my face for⌠something. âWilson Pickett. Sammy hasnât played this for you?â
Sammy? Who is Sammy? Ohhh right, best friend.
âUm, no, I donât think so. But maybe? Thereâs always music on, heâs probably played this.â
He just nodded, at first in response to my rambling and then in time with the song. When it ended, he just⌠looked at me, for what felt like forever but was probably only a few seconds. I was once again hyper aware of my underarms. Sweating. So I slipped the flannel off of my shoulders, keeping my forearms in the sleeves but giving me some airflow to the pits. Joshâs eyes dropped from mine and landed on the now exposed skin. Yes! Guys like shoulders!
The realization slapped me in the face, so I grabbed it and ran. I slid my arms out of the sleeves and tossed the flannel past Josh and onto the chair, thanking God that Iâd worn a tank top. He gulped. Like a full-blown gulp.
Omg Iâm making him nervous!!
Confidence boosted, I shifted even closer to him, until our bodies were tucked tight against each other. Iâd never been this close to him, aside from that one time weâd been crammed in the back seat of his momâs car with Sam and Jake, their sister sitting pretty in the front seat. But then I had been a scrawny kid, only thirteen (and a half) and he had been a really weird fifteen year old, not yet having grown into his features. I hadnât wanted any part of his stinky, sweaty, farty body near me and Iâd squeezed myself so close to Sam I was practically in his lap.
But on this night? This Saturday after my sixteenth birthday, I was no longer a kid. And he was no longer weird. He was beautiful, and my face was really close to his face. I could feel it when he whispered, his breath actually touched my lips.
âWha- what are you doing, T?â
He was looking at my lips, waiting for my answer. I licked them because I was freaking parched, but he watched. And I watched him gulp, again! My tongue slipped out and wet my bottom lip a second time.
âJosh?â Whispering is sexy, itâs seductive. I was sure of it. He did it back, just my name - my actual name - lilting at the end in question.
âDo you.. wanna⌠kiss me?â I leaned over him, placed my left hand on his chest and felt his collar bone under my fingertips through his t-shirt. Holy shit holy shit holy shit.
I saw the panic widen his eyes, then they darted around me, looking at anything but me. It was really so cute how nervous he was. He was eighteen, for Christ sake! And I was making him nervous!
âKiss me, Josh.â His eyes snapped back to mine, slipped down to my mouth again and then back.
And then. He. Freaking. KISSED. ME.
In a split second that felt like hours, I watched his eyes close and perfect lips pucker. My eyes stayed open at first, I didnât want to miss this.
Leaning further into him, I settled my lips against his and slid the hand on his chest up the side of his neck (his pulse was out of control, by the way), and then cradled his jaw. My fingertips were in his hair right behind his ear. I pulled his face closer and ramped up the pressure of our lips pushed together.
He put his hands on me. I swear to God, he really did! One reached for my hip and the other came up to rest against my cheek. My eyes fluttered closed and my body took over. Not a coherent thought left in my pretty little head. Especially when our mouths separated, and then he pushed them back together.
With a mind of its own, my other hand came up and gripped his shoulder. Then my leg swung over his lap and I. Was. Straddling. Him.
It wasnât my fault. My brain had gone haywire, my body moving on instinct. Iâd quite literally never done this before. Iâd kissed plenty, I even kissed Sam once (barf), but this felt different. This felt mature. Probably a little more mature than I was ready for but like I said, it was not my fault.
A lot of blame fell on Josh, a whole mountain of it, when the hand on my cheek dropped to my other hip and gripped hard, pulled me flush against him. And his lips coerced my mouth open. And the tip of his tongue swept out and touched mine.
Oh, I was in way over my head. But this was Josh, the boy I loved, and he was loving me back!
A sound Iâd never made before crept up my throat. Instant embarrassment heated my already toasty cheeks and climbed up my neck, but then. Ohh then. The same freaking sound came from somewhere below me. Josh groaned. Because of me.
My animal brain completely took over. My tongue was already sliding against his, and my hips decided to follow suit. With zero finesse, they rocked into his. Just once.
He broke the kiss and dropped his head back to the cushion.
No no noooooo, you like this! You love it!
I could feel the proof that he loved it. I was sitting on it. I could see it, his chest heaving.
So I leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his throat.
âStop, T.â His hands fell limp and landed on my thighs. My brain scrambled to catch up. Stop? Go! His fingers spread across the denim on my legs. Go go go!
But then he pushed. I leaned back to see his face, find an explanation, but his eyes were still closed as he pushed me off of his lap. Helped me swing my leg back over. Kept his hands on my thighs until they were planted back on the couch and closed. Firmly. Then they left me, and I felt their absence like a knife to the heart.
âI⌠wow, okay.â Itâs the best I could manage to formulate, but my brain was running in overdrive.
âIâm sorry, I shouldnât have let that happen.â He rubbed his palms, the ones that were just holding me, over his knees then leaned forward and dropped his forehead into them.
Okay, maybe he just thinks we were moving too fast!
âJosh, itâs okay. I want this! We can just kiss, Iâll stay over here and you stay there and-â
It was so quiet, but it stopped my words on my tongue and slammed my lips shut.
âI canât.â
Okay. Okay. Okay.
Itâs because Samâs my best friend.
Itâs because Iâm too young.
He thinks Iâm still a kid.
Like his kid sister.
Fuck!
Anger rolled through me. âWhy? Is it Sam?â
He scrubbed his hands over his face and turned to me. Looked at me, finally.
âNo, I-â
âAm I too young for you? Youâre not that much older, Josh and weâve known eachother forever, itâs not that big of a de-â
âItâs not that, Tiny.â His eyes closed again.
âDonât call me that!â Heâd offended me, I was o-ffen-ded. âIâm not a little fucking kid!â Okay, I was pissed! I was a grown ass woman!
(I wasnât.)
Both of his hands reached forward and he pulled mine towards him. Held them there. Opened his eyes. Was he gonna cry? Why are his eyes wet?! Shit, am I crying?
âItâs not you, T. Itâs me.â Oh please. âI- well, I um, I like someone else.â
Back to angry! âWhat?! Then why the hell were you kissing me?!â What a scoundrel, what a snake, what an asshole!
âItâs not like that-â
âWhat the fuck is it like?!â I didnât normally curse much at that age, but when I tell you I was mad? Hurt? Embarrassed? I couldnât stop it from happening.
Shit, his eyes were definitely wet.
âItâs a guy.â
He whispered it, and it wasnât sexy, it wasnât seductive. It was sad. Scared. Defeated. I snatched my hands out of his.
There was a long silence. Uncomfortable. He stared at his empty hands and we processed.
âWhat did you say?â His posture shrank, like he was trying to disappear. âJosh, itâs okay. Talk to me.â It was my turn to take his hands. I held them in mine and squeezed once.
âIâm so sorry, I- I just donât like you. Like that.â His eyes found their way back to my face, âI really like him.â They went wide and Iâm pretty sure mine did too. He seemed shocked that heâd said it out loud, right before panic spread across his features again.
âPlease donât say anything, T. I havenât- no one knows that. No one. Please.â
âNo, I would never Josh, I swear. I just⌠why were you, ya know, kissing me?â Touching me, pulling me in. He pulled his hands away from me this time.
âI just wanted to feel normal. I wanted them to think I was normal.â
I couldnât help it. I threw my arms around him and held on tight.
âYou are.â Normal and beautiful and perfect. And not mine. A heavy sigh slipped from between my lips. âThereâs nothing wrong with you.â
He stayed silent, so I did too. I kept my arms around him for a few minutes before finally letting them slip free, rubbing a palm between his shoulder blades.
âI guess I should go⌠Are you okay?â Look, I was not okay, but it didnât seem like that was important anymore.
âArenât you gonna stay downstairs tonight?â
Definitely not. âNo, I think I should go homeâŚâ Probably wonât show my face over here for a goooood long time.
âLet me walk with you.â
I did. He walked on the other side of my bike while I walked it by the handlebars. When we reached my driveway, I left the bike propped against the side of the garage and turned to him. And just like in my dreams, he moved close and pecked a kiss into my cheek. Then he pulled me into his arms.
âIâm really sorry⌠I didnât mean to hurt your feelings, ya know?â His voice was soft and low, his breath tickling my ear. It shouldâve been a literal dream come true.
A half step back and I rubbed my hands up and down his arms. âItâs really fine. Iâm sorry forâŚâ Humiliating us both? âEverything.â
âYou donât have to apologize. I mean it,â he emphasized when I shook my head. âJust⌠please donât say anything. Even to Sam. Especially to Sam. Iâm gonna tell them all when Iâm ready, I think.â
Huge, massive sigh. âI wonât. I promise.â
And I never did. Not really.
#greta van fleet#gvf#greta van fleet fan fiction#greta van fleet fic#gvf fic#sam kiszka fic#sam kiszka fanfiction#sam gvf#sam kiszka#jake kiszka#jake kiszka fan fiction#jake gvf#jake kiszka fic#josh kiszka#josh kiszka fanfic#josh kiszka fic#josh gvf#greta van fleet fanfiction
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have you ever done a ranking of your fav vale podium celebrations (or celebrations in general)? Would love to hear your thoughts <3
I love ranking dumb things so I HAVE done this, years ago actually, but I've not posted it on here! going over my list and I stand by the order with two minor alterations. I won't just limit my picks to podium celebrations but WILL exclude all his title-winning celebrations, because that feels like its own thing. so here goes
next off list *deep breath*: first win, brno '96 (so thrilled he almost rode into the wall, bless); playing the violin, donington '05 (just slaps idk man); bowling, jerez '07 (cute but also kinda funny in hindsight given how the rest of the season played out); hazing your baby teammate, catalunya '09 (like it's not even anything specific it's just SO hammy); superman, assen '97 (jorge martinez saw that shit and was like ENOUGH I need to retire NOW); bike medical check, catalunya '04 (endearingly corny and quietly ominous); 46 yamaha wins, sepang 2010 (delightfully stupid dick measuring contest with jorge); serving the champagne, brno '05 (it's silly and it's sweet, especially uccio correcting valentino's tea towel placement); beachwear, mugello '98 (this one HURT to leave out, not least because of the poor veteran valentino was upstaging)
and here's my actual top ten:
10. empty grandstands, andalusia 2020
idk this one's just so quintessentially valentino to me; I'm glad he had something fun like this for his very last podium. he parks the bike on the side of the track, gets up on... whatever you call those things, barriers? and then he wildly gesticulates in celebration at an entirely empty grandstand at the height of the pandemic as if he's being serenaded by fans. I like that it was at jerez too, feels like a full circle moment for a celebration featured later on the list - one that's also about like... subverting expectations in 'communicating' with the 'crowd'. it's just so FUN, the vibes were incredibly off back then (to put it mildly) but he did his thing and it did low key cheer me up at the time. which is the classic valentino magic, isn't it
9. tricked them all, welkom 2004
another one of the simpler, more spontaneous celebrations - valentino stopping at the side of the track after winning his first ever race with yamaha. he kisses the bike, he briefly sits down and buries his head in his hands. the commentary thinks he is crying, overcome by the magnitude of what he achieved - but in his autobiography he says he was laughing (x)
âSo I was right!â I thought to myself. âI canât believe it, I tricked them all, what a show!â I kept repeating.
it's just such a pivotal valentino moment... and in its own way, it's a very memorable celebration. an intimate *cough* moment with the bike, a genuine outpouring of emotion from a man who had won pretty much everything there was to win the last few years... but was now attempting to achieve something almost nobody thought he'd be capable of. he WAS right, he DID trick them all - and he certainly put on a show
8. robin hood, donington 1998


listen. I'm a lesbian. this gets as high up the list as it does on sheer concentrated power of lesbianism. I don't even have a lot to say about this one, I just think it's neat how he was winning everything and also winning everyone over while swanning around like THAT. valentino charmed his way into the hearts of the british to such an extent that they would terrorise anyone who looked at him wrong for the next decade plus, and it all started with some remarkably dyke-coded behaviour. look at him with his cap and his bow and his arrow. no wonder he had them all eating out of his hand
7. chicken, catalunya 1998

redefined commitment to the bit. everything about his whole 'inventing a fake sponsor to fuck with the press' saga is obviously just. excellent. all the comedy hijinks where they're getting someone to act as osvaldo and trying to continue stringing the sceptical press along... something about how he managed to still treat the whole thing as a game, still had fun with his friends, didn't take himself too seriously. obviously this celebration is a culmination of sorts of that whole ploy - valentino riding around with his imaginary chicken sponsor to the delight of the crowds. I'm always a fan of a recurring bit, so I also like the continued chicken-themed celebrations over the years. let him be a silly little guy y'know
6. speeding ticket, mugello 2002


this one is just pure camp. what can you even say. like it's such an annoying lame bit that crosses the line again to be incredibly funny, classic valentino style. this race set off valentino's mugello streak after he'd crashed out of his home race in 2001... also low key the speeding ticket was a good idea, given it kept valentino away from a rather dangerous track invasion where one rider was dragged off his bike. so he just stayed out of trouble, did his silly camp theatrics and continued to rack up wins at the circuit for the next six years. so deeply lame. bless
5. portaloo, jerez 1999

this one I confess I didn't really Get when I read about it the first time. kinda went... okay, that's cute, but I also don't really know what the point is. so it's been a bit of a slow burn for me. think it's one that helps to actually watch and then read a bit about the crowd reaction... it's just a classic case of subverting expectations, right. this entire crowd is going nuts at your victory, you're known for your zany post-race celebrations, and then you just... dive into the portaloo. he has to sell it too, I reckon, like it just wouldn't work the same way without his earnest little dash. and so the crowd goes quiet - until erupting with even more volume once he emerges. just that feel for engaging the crowd... for toying with them and winning them over all the more as a result
4. donkey ears, misano 2009

huh, this one really has snuck up the order for me. idk I just find everything about it annoyingly endearing. I like how valentino was willing to take the piss out of himself after his indy crash (which he very much should because it was extremely stupid). I like how he showed up to his home race with a donkey helmet because he'd been such an idiot. it's a tense moment in the championship given that the indy crash having very much reopened the contest. so you've got valentino really committing to this playful way of bouncing back from an embarrassing failure... smart too! it takes the sting out of things, right, just defuses the optics of his big error by gently mocking himself
The donkey is because I was stupid to crash at Indy. [...] [In this race] I was in trouble, I found myself fourth and I didn't feel confident with a full tank. So I took my time to put some more temperature in the tyres and then I attacked. Today, I was the flying donkey!"
I like how he gets his crew to wear donkey ears to greet him in parc fermĂŠ. I LOVE him mock-formally shaking the hands of his team - including obviously with luca - before giving them all a proper hug. unfortunately just unavoidably very sweet. and I like him imitating donkey ears to the camera
and OBVIOUSLY I love him putting on those bloody donkey ears for the actual podium. the way he gets down onto his knees in front of the adoring crowd. wonderfully annoying
just something about these later celebrations, when he wasn't doing them as often anymore,,, it's almost strategically recapturing that sense of whimsy, right - using this old part of his repertoire to regain a measure of authorial control. helps bring to the forefront what the celebrations are actually doing for him in practical competitive terms, what he's getting out of them beyond just having a laff. and of course I love how big a fan of these celebrations jorge is (x, x):
Rossi's donkey. At Misano my Captain America was replaced on track by Rossiâs donkey - the one he put on his helmet and the ears he wore onto the podium. It is one of the funniest celebrations I have seen Valentino do and I laughed when I saw him get the helmet out. He is an expert at turning things around, and that wasnât the only occasion he put that talent to good use this weekend. On the podium he tried to hush the fans who were whistling at me. Personally I saw their reaction as normal because they were defending one of their own.Â
one of THE key moments you need to get their dynamic imo. jorge understands exactly what valentino is doing here and they're in the middle of a title fight and jorge really does think it's GREAT. it's sort of the precursor to the misano fish helmet to aragon shark fin 2015 dynamic, right, where jorge is such a keen student of valentino's... and he also is so determined to be magnanimous and honourable and all that other stuff - which is why him glazing the celebrations makes it all the way to his biography. and the helmet makes him laugh, because it's funny! jorge might know what valentino's game is, might be taking notes on exactly what he's doing - but nobody's completely immune
and now *drum roll* my top three in just. a little more detail:
3. kissing the corkscrew, laguna seca 2008
okay, picture this. you are currently leading the championship, but your main rival (who kicked your arse the previous year) has won three races in a row and is steadily closing in on your points tally. he's doing his thing again all weekend, looks ridiculously dominant to the point pretty much everyone is framing this race as a fight for second place. you spend the night before the race plotting and scheming how to make up the difference, and you tell your best friend you will not let your rival win the race whatever happens - even if the both of you have to crash. you go out there and - with all your cunning and guile and ruthlessness - somehow prove yourself capable of hanging with your rival as you gradually infuriate him. on lap four, you plunge down a terrifying blind corner and go off-track as you make an overtake, bumping into your rival and only by some miracle keeping the bike upright. around twenty laps later, you finally break your rival and manage to tease an error out of him that makes him tip the bike into the gravel. you ride the remaining laps in utter tranquillity - not only are you under no threat, but the two of you ran so ferocious a pace that your rival can finish in second even after crashing. you win the race. the championship momentum is back on your side and you have finally managed to drag down your toughest rival down to your level. you know just how much he will have hated that. so, what do you do to commemorate this moment? well, of course you go back to said terrifying blind corner where you almost crashed on lap four of 32. you get off your bike. and you kiss the ground
idk, there's just something beautiful about the presence of mind valentino had to have in order to know that this overtake would be the defining image of the race - to pay tribute to it immediately and reinforce the memorability of that moment in everyone's heads. was he thinking about doing this while cruising home to victory? planning it out while the laps pass by? or was it really just a spur of the moment thing? it's my favourite of the spontaneous celebrations - because of course it could only ever be spontaneous, because he never could have expected to win that race, and certainly not in such a memorable fashion
and then the second part of the celebrations: how valentino decides to really, really, really rub it in. these are for my money quite possibly the most triumphalist celebrations of valentino's premier class career (catalunya 2009 is the only one in the same league), to the point where the eurosport commentators commented on how unusual it was for valentino. back in the day, during his prime, he really did go for a bit more of a cheery but cool tone for his celebrations - almost as if minimising the effort it took to take the win. all just a bit of a laugh, right? no ecstatic fist pumping on the bike, no sign that the victory had ever been in doubt... but here, valentino goes all in. he makes no secret of how delighted he is, no secret of just how much he loved beating casey. interrupts casey during his post-race tv interview in front of lurking cameras and microphone, grins his way through parc fermĂŠ and the podium. no playing sly here - he's making a point to savour it. and in commemorating the most memorable moment of the race, in getting a rise out of casey, valentino has gotten exactly what he wanted. together with the race itself, it is this post-race theatre that changes the complexion of the season, that has helped immortalise the episode


which very much includes all the ways valentino interacts with casey directly! the way valentino just REFUSES to leave well enough alone and keeps nagging casey while casey is trying so, so, so hard to not say something he will come to regret in the coming weeks. a task he is ultimately unsuccessful at, but my god is it a brave effort to not strangle valentino then and there. it's fantastic stuff because it's also a pattern of behaviour reserved entirely for casey - latching onto his defeated rival is NOT actually part of the valentino rossi playbook. the closest he gets is interrupting jorge's tv interview too in catalunya 2009 (which is how you know it's a deliberate ploy lol), but after that if anything it's jorge who is initiating communication...
whereas at laguna, obviously casey has less than zero desire to talk to valentino. and obviously valentino is 100% aware of this. valentino usually isn't the sort to get in someone's face like this when he knows they're pissed off at him - he's more the avoidant type - but he makes an exception for casey. partly it'll be because he knows casey isn't doing himself any favours with his on-camera behaviour, partly because it's his chance to twist in the knife and make the experience as hellish as possible for casey - but partly I reckon he's just getting a genuine kick out of casey's reactions. beautiful, isn't it


hell. hell! hell <3
2. prisoner of your own success, brno 2003

look, I've yapped extensively enough about this celebration by now that there's probably not much new for me to say. to make an analogy circa two people reading this will appreciate, you know that episode in revolutionary girl utena where a flashing pointing finger directing the viewer's attention to the symbolically important objects on screen? this is valentino's in-universe equivalent. flexing those authorial muscles to make everyone aware of The Themes. something charming about how it's like. zero subtlety. just valentino turning to the camera and explaining to you, the audience, what character arc he's currently undergoing. you see, he's unhappy at honda - he's feeling trapped, if you will. like his individuality is being suppressed. he had a big cock-up at the sachsenring that made him reevaluate how he tactically approached races - from now on he'd be "taking no prisoners". he feels the media is being too harsh on him, almost as if they're punishing him for how dominant he was the past. which would make him a 'prisoner of his own success'. if you will
here's a post that just like,, has a few relevant quotes from the commentary and the autobiography and all that. key detail about that weekend is that after sulking/partying with his title rival on ibiza during the summer break, valentino shows up to the paddock with his snazzy new hairdo. which obviously the commentators speculate during the race is a form of mind games

dyeing my hair red to psych out the competition. like a pro. the race itself is obviously fantastic, but I love that he had celebrations this elaborate planned out for a race he won by *checks notes* .042 seconds. I mean. come on, could've easily gone wrong. in the end, however, valentino plot armoured his way to reversing the defeat from a few weeks prior - and immediately does this whole chain gang routine, which is just another elite camp bit. and crucially it's also a bit of a throwback! the planned celebrations had petered out a little at this stage of his career, as if he'd grown out of them... both the hair and the celebrations are recapturing his wild lesbian youth from the days before he became a honda factory man
he's got to break free, you see, got to express his identity again. and "prisoner of my own success" is just. such a funny phrase. deeply insufferable. the way he carries that stupid ball and chain around with him, on the bike and off it... how sete has a kick at it during the podium ceremony... how valentino's still holding that blasted thing mid-champagne spray...

open wide
valentino brings back the celebrations later that year when he seals the title - carried aloft by fans dressed in convicts' garb while sporting a massive novelty lock and key. back in brno, he had told yamaha under the cover of night that he would sign for them. when he seals the title, his last for honda, he is freed from the expectations of the press and the fans that had been weighing on him all year. he is about to liberate himself from honda. the novelty lock is now open... whatever that might symbolise. and the following year is about truly embracing his own identity, for better and for worse. beyond being a fun celebration, it functions as a neat little thematic road map for what's to come. plot significant celebration. imagine having plot significant celebrations
1. sweeping the grid, sepang 2004

sue me, I'm horrible, but this one will always come top of the pile for me. this is another one I've talked about way too much by this point - but to me it really is the definitive marriage of joy and cruelty that valentino so thoroughly embodies. he's having fun! coming up with a little joke with his team :) but of course the whole thing is also incredibly, shamelessly malicious. valentino is obviously on one that entire weekend... or, well, he's on one that entire month tbh. he's already exhibited some generational malice in the press conference that started off proceedings, he's doing his thing that entire weekend to unsettle poor sete as much as possible - and eventually he wins the race in reasonably straightforward fashion
which in itself is already enough to swing the title fight back to being basically wrapped up (though I'd still advise keeping the risky last lap phillip island lunges to a minimum, but you do you), so you'd think that'd be job done. except valentino is still feeling furious and vengeful towards both sete and honda. so after blatantly ignoring sete's outstretched hand on the cooldown lap (to the surprise of one of the commentators, who said such unsportsmanlike behaviour was unlike valentino - which... buddy), valentino then stops at the side of the road for another one of his fun little celebrations. this time, it's reenacting the sweeping of the grid that had given him that nasty back-of-the-grid penalty the week before
similarly to misano 2009, what valentino's doing is defanging his own mistake from the previous week - he's reducing its power, drawing attention away from the self-inflicted nature of his precarious championship situation, making his setbacks into jokes better than anyone else can. except unlike in 2009, valentino does not primarily blame himself for his recent humiliation. valentino's pre-planned celebrations are generally about himself, not his rivals - but he makes an exception here to mock sete and honda. to show them that nothing is forgiven. the sete rivalry is about valentino gaining more agency in his story, including in torturing his rivals, so it feels right that this gleeful malice really comes to the fore here too. I didn't include jerez 2005 in this post because that's more... valentino reacting to the crowd in his celebrations rather than doing his own thing (though obviously I'm also a massive massive fan of that energy and dearly wish valentino had been booed more often). and well, that's the same vibe of valentino just relishing how much torment he was causing sete, the spanish crowd... the fourth wall break when he's mocking sete's injury, just properly embracing the nastier side of his celebrations. joy and cruelty, cruelty and joy - these two things were never really in opposition to each other for valentino
and just to mention my favourite detail, the cleaning company valentino and co invent to 'eliminate dirt from the world championship':


as in, they're cleaning starting grids... but they're also taking action against dirty rats. naming no names. lovely, isn't it
the whole thing's mean-spirited to a somewhat cartoonish extent - especially when you consider what a tight timeline they were on here. seven days between qatar and sepang, both flyaway races, like logistically it's honestly kinda impressive they made this happen. what the power of spite will do for you, I suppose. I also love that jb has one of these shirts. I love jb being completely ride-or-die in getting revenge on sete, helpfully commenting that it's dangerous to piss valentino off. watch out :) get yourself a crew chief who will enable you in psychologically torturing your opponents
and, remember, all this came in the third-to-last round of a tight title fight!! with a slender fourteen point lead in the championship, a mere week in between races including quickly nipping back to italy to attempt to address the hole in his finger... and valentino's spending his time coming up with custom shirts to take the piss out of his enemies? fantastic sense of priorities, 10/10 no notes
#underrated bit of jerez '05 is when they interview jb live on air and he fully goes 'yeah i didn't see what happened in the last corner :)'#like it just adds something vale ended up with a crew chief who's also so messyyyy idk... the stuff he used to say about jorge/casey/dani#theyre always saying how no nonsense this lad is and he's letting his charge brainstorm mean shirt ideas at the back end of the title fight#//#brr brr#//clt#batsplat responds
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I translated the first ever interview with Young Lion Mikami Kyosuke, published on New Japanâs website, from March 8, 2010.

Hit by Hansenâs bull rope and awakened to pro wrestling! A quick interview with anticipated newcomer Mikami Kyosuke
The Act Tower Tournament was held in Hamamatsu on March 7th. There, a newcomer made his long anticipated debut against Taguchi Ryusuke.
His name is Mikami Kyosuke. Influenced by pro wrestling since childhood, he joined the prestigious Senshu Universityâs wrestling club in order to become a professional wrestler. We managed to catch Mikami for an interview before his match! In this first-ever interview, we talked to him about his current state of mind, his passion, and information about himself.
- Your debut match was decided rather abruptly, wasnât it?
M: Yes. I was told five days ago. And Iâm still about to b*rf (from stress.) I thought âWell, Iâm debuting after Faleâ (laughs) (Fale Simi Taitoko = a trainee from the same class / debuted in April)
- Mikami, please tell us about your background.
M: I did judo and amateur wrestling, and then entered Senshu University on a wrestling sports recommendation from Nigata prefectureâs Maki Agricultural High school (now Maki Sougou High School)
- Thatâs a famous college with a prestigious connection to pro wrestling, right?
M: Our coach was Hase Hiroshi (ex pro wrestler, current Lower House member) and Nakanishi (Manabu) would watch over our training sessions as well. Hirasawa (Mitsuhide) was a third year student there when I was a first year. But, I dropped outâŚâŚ
- Excuse me for asking, but why did you drop out?
M: Because I didnât go to class. I was an economics major but I donât have any interest in economics (laughs). I originally wanted to do pro wrestling, which is why I originally started amateur wrestling in the first place.
- So, after that?
M: I tried to enroll with New Japan Pro Wrestling, but my application didnât make it past the initial screening. My dad scolded me, saying âWhatâre you gonna do about your student debt, you bastard!â and I thought âThis is really badâ as I moved back to my hometown.Â
I owe my dad a large amount of money to pay off my student loan. So after that, I worked construction for about a year, and then for about four years I was a freeter working at restaurants, at a beach resort, a pachinko parlor, and so on. But then in May of 2009, the (New Japan Pro Wrestling dojo) admission test rules changed, and the height restriction was removed. Hirasawa said âHey, whatâre you gonna do? You gonna go for it?â and I submitted the application one more time.
- And in June 23rd of 2009, you became a student. Were you always a pro wrestling fan?
M: Yeah. Due to my dadâs influence, I always was. When I was still in preschool, I got hit by Stan Hansenâs bull rope at an All Japan show, and my pro wrestling awakening began. All Japan, New Japan, FMW, I loved âem all.

- Did you tell anyone about your debut?
M: My parents and my local friends. And later I told my friends on GREE [Note from me: GREE is a gaming social media ap, so this is kind of like telling your Steam friends or something] I told them, "I'm gonna be in a match." The reactions from everyone were pretty intense. Because I hadn't told anyone I was a trainee at New Japan. I only told everyone once the company officially announced it and posted my name on the website. As you might expect, my mother is worried about me. But my grandma, who loves pro wrestling, said âYEAH, GO GET EM!â (laughs)
- What is your special move?
M: Iâm just debuting right now, I donât have a special move yet (laughs) But, since Iâve been doing amateur wrestling for so long, I think Iâll concentrate on a single leg, double leg, and tackle.
- And your âsales pointâ is?
M: Iâve got a stocky body type, but Iâm going for âchubby yet agile.â
- And your rivals are?
M: Right now, the students in the dojo are Fale and Takahashi, and classmates are perfect as rivals. And of course Iâm aware of Hirasawa as well.
- What kind of wrestler do you want to be?
M: Most of all, I want to be someone that everyone wants to cheer for. Basically, itâs stupid, but I love attention (laughs) I want to be the kind of pro wrestler that makes the fans yell âDO YOUR BEST!â
- The opponent you want to fight is?
M: There are too many to even name.
- Finally, express your enthusiasm to us in one sentence.
M: Anyway, pleased to meet you all and thank you for your support, Iâll keep working hard and doing my best. Taguchi is IWGP Jr Tag Champion so, having a person like that as my debut opponent is an incredible honor. Anyway, I plan to use the things that he has taught me. Pleased to meet you all, thank you for your support.
#njpw#el desperado#my translation#yes his answer to that last question is exactly as awkward as it was in the original japanese lol#The type of construction work he did is specifically a construction worker who specializes in climbing to build and remove scaffolding#but I don't think there's a word for that in english?#Anyway I think of this interview and get emotional whenever someone in the crowd yells DO YOUR BEST at Desperado
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Remember FOB For Centuries: A 10-Year Retrospective On American Beauty / American Psycho
One story Iâve told many times over the years is that Iâve been a huge fan of the band Fall Out Boy since 2007. They had just dropped their third album, Infinity On High, and it was their first album post-mainstream breakthrough. They hit it big with 2005âs From Under The Cork Tree, but Infinity On High was their first album where they were in the public eye. I was barely into music at the time; I only had gotten into My Chemical Romance, Panic At The Disco, and The All-American Rejects at that time, and those are all solid bands, but Fall Out Boy was the band that truly got me into music. That album, in particular, truly made me fall in love with music. Iâve talked about that story many times over, and Iâve also talked about my journey with this band many times over the past twelve years since their comeback from their four-year hiatus. They went on hiatus in 2009, right after releasing 2008âs Folie A Deux, but rumors of their return swirled in early 2013 (in the time between albums, they all participated in other side projects, some of which I really liked), only for them to officially announce their return with Save Rock & Roll. Thatâs a record Iâve had a rather complicated relationship with over the last twelve years or so, but Iâve come to enjoy it and appreciate it a lot more these days.
The same goes for the follow-up, 2015âs American Beauty / American Psycho, which just turned ten-years-old last month. Now thatâs a record that Iâve had various feelings on over the last decade, but like with Save Rock & Roll, Iâve come to really appreciate it. I wanted to talk about my journey with this album, and to some extent, my journey with Fall Out Boy, because this album is an important one in their career. It furthered their sound, which had changed by Save Rock & Roll, but it also marked a newfound level of success that they hadnât really achieved since their original heyday in the 00s. The single âCenturiesâ went onto being one of their most successful singles, although âSugar, Weâre Goinâ Downâ still remains as their most successful single (but we can talk about From The Under Cork Tree at another time). That song, and that record, catapulted the band back into the mainstream (Save Rock & Roll did that, too, and the lead single from that album was very successful, but âCenturiesâ really took them to new heights). One of the other main singles, âImmortals,â is used in the Disney movie Big Hero 6, which is a huge deal to have a song of yours in a Disney movie of all things.
My feelings have always been relatively complicated on this album, however, especially even before it came out. In the lead up to this albumâs release, I went through a pretty bad breakup, and it was with someone that I bonded over the band with. It was tough for me to listen to the band for a long time, because every time I did, it reminded me of that person, and how badly they treated me. In retrospect, itâs crazy to think that I let that affect me so much, because I was very young and it wasnât anything important, but thatâs the thing â I was young and let it really engulf me. Itâs silly to think that I didnât want to listen to the band, let alone listen to American Beauty / American Psycho, because it was still a fresh wound for me. That all happened around over a decade ago, and itâs crazy to think that itâs been that long. There are other factors in play, too, such as how the band changed their sound by this point, and I remember seeing a lot of people in the âYouTube Music Criticâ sphere being so mad by these records, because they accused the band of âselling outâ by making bombastic pop music that other artists were doing. You have to understand where music was at the time, because in the early 2010s, Imagine Dragons were really popular and made bombastic pop-rock that felt like a new version of arena-rock, but it was for suburban moms. Fall Out Boy rode on that train, and I was kind of mixed on their sound change at first, but in the last ten years, Iâve come to really respect that change in sound. Save Rock & Roll hinted at that change, but it was AB/AP that cemented it. Fall Out Boy ended up outdoing Imagine Dragons at their own game, and it makes sense why they were so successful. Sure, songs like âImmortals,â and âCenturiesâ arenât super adept songs, lyrically speaking, but Fall Out Boy was always good with catchy and anthemic hooks. They got really good at that for a period of time, and while a lot of songs followed a similar formula, the hooks all stood out.
Thatâs partially because of vocalist Patrick Stump, who is my personal favorite vocalist in alternative music, whether itâs rock, pop-punk, or what have you. He has such a killer voice, and these albums wouldnât have been as good without him, unfortunately. His voice has gotten a lot better, and it fits perfectly for the arena-rock / pop-rock sound that they were going for. The band also started utilizing something that a lot of artists do now, and they werenât the first artist to do this, but the idea of interpolation was also a contested idea that fans had mixed feelings on. âCenturiesâ features an interpolation of Suzanne Vegaâs âTomâs Diner,â whereas another âUma Thurmanâ features The Munsters theme (to awesome results, by the way). Interpolation seems like a commonplace idea now, because a lot of artists willingly take melodies, lyrics, or ideas from songs that twist it into something new. Itâs not a sample, as they arenât taking the original work, but theyâre recreating it into something else. Maybe Iâm wrong, but I feel like Fall Out Boy really made that idea popular, especially in rock and alternative music. I think that part of this album is a bit underrated, because most people think they âsold outâ with this album (which isnât true, by the way; Iâve never thought selling out was really a thing, because if you think about it, every artist sells out in some way to get popular, whether itâs by taking endorsement deals, performing at and/or making appearances at events, or things of that nature), but they did a lot to separate themselves from the pack at the time and make themselves even more popular and still relevant.
American Beauty / American Psycho has a lot of songs from Fall Out Boy I really love, and a lot of their more underrated songs in their catalog from this album, such as âIrresistable,â the title track, âJet Pack Blues,â âFourth Of July,â and âTwin Skeletonâs (Hotel In NYC),â as well as the lead singles that Iâve mentioned already. I used to not be super into this album, because I thought of it as being a generic pop-rock album, but itâs not. Itâs a more nuanced album than that, and while itâs not my favorite Fall Out Boy album, itâs a record I really enjoy nowadays. One thing I need to do is write another FOB album ranking, because my thoughts have definitely changed on all their records since the last time I wrote one. There were a few albums I didnât love all that much, minus a handful of songs, but Iâve grown to appreciate everything in their discography. I prefer some albums over others, but I appreciate and value each album in some way, shape, or form. In the case of their albums, each one stands out on their own, and I wouldnât be able to say that if they just made generic slop that a lot of their âfansâ claimed they did with their last few albums. There are a lot of things to appreciate here, whether itâs the songwriting being concise, catchy, and anthemic, Pete Wentzâs lyricism being to the point and more direct, as well as clever and inventive in spots, or Stumpâs vocals being the most impressive they sounded at the time. Heâs only gotten better since, but he sounded great on that album. American Beauty / American Psycho also had them experimenting with interpolation to really fun and inventive results. This album is a lot better than people give it credit for, even myself, because it isnât just generic pop-rock album. Hereâs to ten years to one of Fall Out Boyâs most underrated albums (I think the number one spot goes to 2018âs M A N I A, which I absolutely love but most fans hated, although I kind of get why in retrospect), and here's to another ten more.
#fall out boy#american beauty american psycho#so much (for) stardust#folie a deux#infinity on high#from under the cork ree#take this to your grave#pop-punk#punk#rock#pop-rock#pop rock#alternative#emo#patrick stump#pete wentz#andy hurley#joe trohman
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wait omg myah please please PLEASE tell us more abt myrahâs career after allume (and maybe during too đ¤) i js NEED to hear more abt her !
MYRAH YAMAZAKI is a Japanese K-pop idol and global icon based in South Korea. She made her initial debut in the rotational girl group ALLUME in 2005 as the group's leader and lead vocalist until her generation's graduation in 2010. Myrah is often credited for making ALLUME as popular as they are, achieving international stardom during this time for her strong attitude and natural star quality. Her run in Allume would be dubbed "Myrah and Friends" by fans due her popularity often overshadowing her groupmates.
Myrah would immediately begin a solo career after her 2010 graduation, destroying both the Korean charts and Japanese charts with the mini album HAUTE TOPIC. HAUTE TOPIC would break records for having all four tracks debut in the Top 10 on Melon. Moonlight, Chase Me, Starlight, and Kitty Kat would all break into the top ten and remain there for a solid five months. Myrah's solo career would be proflic and global, debuting in Japan shortly after her Korean solo debut where she would destroy the charts there as well. She would be the highest-performing Flowerbank soloist ever until the acquisition of Baebi's contract in 2023.
Myrah is still a high profile celebrity, starring in a handful of blockbuster films, critically acclaimed dramas, and becoming the face of many luxury brands through out the years. She is also the head of the creative board in Flowerbank Entertainment, owning an impressive amount of stocks in the company. She has been the host of the radio show AllTalkMe for over ten years now, keeping her and Allume relevant over the years.
ďž . ⊠. ' ŰŤ       INFORMATION!
STAGE NAME :: MYRAH
BIRTH NAME :: Myrah Yamazaki
Birthday :: December 1st 1987
Zodiac :: SagittariusÂ
Birthplace :: California
Hometown :: Osaka, Japan
Ethnicity :: Japanese
Nationality :: American-Japanese
Faceclaim :: Devon Aoki
Height :: 175 cm || 5â˛9
ďž . ⊠. ' ŰŤ       VIRAL MOMENTS!
"I don't think people realize we haven't actually had sex...I wish but we're acting, guys." One of her first viral moments as an actress was in 2016 during the press tour for A Man and a Woman with her co-star Gong Yoo. Myrah and Gong Yoo would go on to have a public relationship that would often have them going viral for their cute and funny moments. To fans' dismay, the pair would split in late 2020.
When she snatched Sooah's mic from her during a concert, singing her lines and high notes. "My mic wasn't working. It's not like she sings much anyways," Myrah would go on to say in an interview, fueling the fire of rumors about the two having a feud during their time in Allume. After this, Sooah would noticeably clutch her microphone whenever Myrah would walk by her.
"How could I not like her? I've never spoken to her. I love 2ne1. Shut up." Myrah would shut down rumors of her and CL of 2ne1 having beef, telling a fan to shut up when they spoke negatively of her. Shot in glorious 2009 iPhone quality, the video would make its round around the internet. A week later, Myrah would post a selfie with CL on her blog with the caption "My bestiiiiii~ ^-^ <3" and the two are still close to this day.
She put her hand up in Gdragon's face when he attempted to sing to her at the 2013 MAMA Awards. It was a lighthearted interaction, Myrah laughing the whole time, but the internet took it differently and deemed her "a rude bitch" and VIPS would begin to harass her. This would have very little effect on Myrah as she would go on to post a couple of photos of her with T.O.P and Gdragon in the studio with the caption: "I lovvveee rappers!! (*^^*)âĄ"
"She's a bitch! A hot one though!" Myrah would shout out her car window when she was escorted out of a club by Flowerbank CEO Kim Iseul. Myrah was a bit of a club-goer post-Allume, often having to be picked up by friends or, on rare occasions, her CEO. When asked by paparazzi about her thoughts on Iseul having to pick her up, prompting her to say her now most iconic line.
#ŕźââż ARTIST PROFILE#ŕźââż MYRAH#fake kpop oc#idol oc#idol au#kpop addition#kpop oc#oc kpop group#fictional idol community#bts addition#kpop au
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horror story of a teenage 5sos blogger
let me set the scene - its the mid 2010s, I'm 17, in the height of my 5sos fan career, im watching keek compilations all day and scrolling tumblr all night. Life is good.
Fast forward a few months and I start talking to this cute boy at school. we start going on dates, having first kisses - and first everything elses. we're falling madly in love. it's intense (and so cringy to look back at as an adult) but again, life is good! not a worry in the world!!
eventually.. it somehow comes up that my boyfriend and i both have tumblrs (of VERY different nature's mind you). we wanted to show eachother things we'd found online but we were both adamant we didn't want to see eachothers blogs (FOR OBVIOUS REASONS). instead of following each other, we would send each other screenshots of funny textposts, pictures, etc. - blacking out our respective blog names and url's to protect our online anonymity. life is good!
now by day, I'm spending all hours messaging my totally hot boyfriend but by night... by night, I'm reblogging hot gifs of calum hood, smut fanfics, imagines, general gifs of hot couples making out (ifykyk). it's the HEIGHT of tumblr fanfiction and imagine culture and I could not get enough. i was exploring things in real life with my boyfriend while also exploring online through fics. reblogging every single thing along the way. i was having my cake and eating it too and it was a fucking good time to be alive. life is so good!
of course, like any normal person, I was using my tags as a stream of consciousness. a way to get out my feelings about cal, about my boyfriend, about being a teenager, about LITERALLY EVERYTHING. Unfiltered, hormonal, teenage girl writing about the boys she likes. every. damn. night. life! is! good!
until.. all until.. my boyfriend and i were lying together in a park, under a tree, light filtering down on us as we talk and laugh and kiss - a perfect afternoon UNTIL he says there's something he has to tell me. 'what does *name of my blog* mean?'
TURNS OUT, the very first time I sent him a screenshot of something, I didn't black out my url properly and he had been SECRETLY STALKING MY BLOG FOR MONTHHHSSSS.
MONTHS
MONTHS!!!!!!
Literally just months worth of calum hood smut, so.much.smut, smut requests too!!!, soft porn gifs WITH TAGS LITERALLY EXPLICITLY ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND, countless text posts about our dates and whatever the fuck I was thinking or feeling that day, 5sos drama, EVERYTHING. EVERYTHINGGGGG. ABSOLUTELY EV ER Y THIN G
needless to say that blog was immediately scorched from the surface of the earth. and since then, I virtually haven't been on 5sos tumblr - until now. I was so mortified that I wasn't just throwing my thoughts into the void, I was literally scarred.
we're still together though lol I guess he some how liked me enough to look past the 5sos blog HAHA. he's a much stronger person than I because if the roles were reversed and he had some obsessed teenage fan blog, I think i would have gotten the ick straight away. Especially since I literally NEVER talked about 5sos with him because I was soooo embarrassed that I was obsessed with them (this was album one era guys HAHA and my boyfriend was way cooler than me in highschool). now I don't care, I play them in the shower all the time - he can deal with it hahaha
moral of the story is, idk don't tell your teenage boyfriend you have tumblr cause he will find your blog
#he showed me his blog to make me feel better#it wasnt even embarrassing#he would post his film photos on there#and some of them did really well#this was 10 years ago#before film really started having its hay day again in the main streem#he was way cooler than me#i just reblogged stories about calum hoods dick đ#5sos#5 seconds of summer#calum hood#luke hemmings#michael clifford#ashton irwin#***almost 10 years ago
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My Season 3 Diatribe
for @wowbright who gave me a platform that I really didn't need but took anyway. ;)
The thing about Glee was that it started with a woman being fake pregnant for thirteen episodes and then ended the season with a baby being born while Bohemian Rhapsody blared in the background. It was weird and crazy and insane and just edgy enough that it was being talked about but not too niche that it couldn't find an audience. It also hit in the sweet spot of the Obama years when, as a nation, we could get on board with being a little different and a little crazy.
Ryan Murphy is both a genius and insane at the same time. I'm not really fond of him, and I think his tendency for going big sometimes obscures the nuances of really good storytelling. But he knows how to make a loud statement. And Glee was that loud statement.
And then it got big. Too big. It got more money, an awards, and the national stage, and then all eyes were on it. And Ryan Murphy got tired because that's also Ryan Murphy - being distracted by American Horror Story where he could be abstract in the way his brain really wanted to go. And so, new writers were brought in, but having all eyes on it meant you had to dial it back, and the new writers didn't jive the same way, nor could they really juggle all of the new network notes, ballooning cast, mandates of the Glee project and responsibility for now having to be a 'role model' for all the new outsiders who were hanging on.
The show was once about being an awkward kid in the 80s. And then it was forced into becoming a mouthpiece for the changing times of the 2010s.
And that... doesn't work.
The funniest thing is way back when... after I had stopped watching the show for a while, Season 3 is what brought me back. I did think, for a moment in time, that I liked it better than Seasons 1 or 2. I can't exactly tell you why. But The First Time is when I fell in love, and maybe you feel connected to something when you fall in love with it that you can't really discribe.
And I hated Season 4. and I was listening to a podcast of the day (Those of you who remember Lima Heights Adjacent?) and the group of people were talking about how, with all of its faults, Season 4 was at least NOT Season 3. And I was confused because at the time - I much preferred Season 3. Because my favorite couple was at least a couple back then -- because the cast was people I liked. Because the episodes were easy to digest and the structure of it, while being bland and predictable, fit into a nice, uniform way of storytelling.
And then time moved on, and I left my twenties, and digested the entire story (the second half, with all of its faults, does not get the recognition it deserves -- despite it falling apart at all times) and got a lot better at critical analysis and media analysis and being open to the ideas of others and just... shake my head.
When you look at the whole, Season 3 isn't AS bad as I make it seem sometimes. There's a good chunk of it, right in the middle, that is... more watchable than what's at the beginning and end.
There is, however, a laundry list of reasons why it's not good -- from questionable story telling choices to dulling the edge of a more biting comedy to just not being able to service all the characters it has in a satisfactory way. They botched Santana's story, which had been set up nicely in season 2. They threw in guest stars and special episodes to throw off that they didn't really know what to do with the story other than praise Rachel Berry and get those kids winning nationals and graduated. They took Kurt and completely neutered him in a way that went against everything they had built him up to be in the first two seasons. And so on and so on and so on.
But I suppose most egregiously -- they played it safe and it was no longer interesting.
I don't fully understand why people love it so much. But I will say - part of the reason might be why I liked it at the time. There's a huge influx of newer fans always coming to the show. And like Klaine, Brittana (which has a following unlike it ever did when it aired) remains together and having the most screen time in Season 3. All the original characters are around, and the story structure, if nothing else, is secure and sound and plays out exactly as its supposed to. Rachel Berry gets the crown, Will gets the teacher of the year, and they all win nationals - hell, even Sue gets a baby. Cue the music and roll credits.
To each their own.
Season 4 comes next with its awkward new characters and its break ups and its wild ups and downs. And then season 5 with its grief and queer in a way that's not accessible but fuck it who cares and season 6 that just wants to go back to the beginning and end it all like the weird creation it was when it started. And as complicated as all of that is -- it's not as digestible as Season 3. I like the afterwards better. But I understand that some people won't. It has, after all, taken me years to get to this level of appreciation.
Who knows how people are going to look at it in ten, fifteen, fifty years. I'm sure, as streaming shows continue to go on and on and on and nothing dies any more, it'll take on different tones and different meanings.
Maybe this time around - those people just need that comfort.
I can't tell you.
But it won't ever be my favorite. And that's fine. As always, ymmv.
#that's how s.o. sees it#feeling reflective tonight#if you want specifics hit me up#though i'm sure most of you have been around long enough to know and understand#maybe you just had to live through it#or maybe you just need to be in a different place#or maybe none of it was good to begin with#glee history i suppose#as i sit in my rocking chair on my porch and talk about yesteryere
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What I absolutely love about the relationship that has developed between Per and Chris - is how well it fits into the former's profile.
Per's bromances are special - because he himself still belongs to the generation of players who claim to (mostly) strictly separate professional from private relationships. This is something you could also witness with Arne Friedrich, who used to say that he didn't "have many football related friendships" while he was still active. They definitely both shared that collected, almost cool demeanour towards the business, with a serious yet opinionated attitude, which may have been one of the reasons why they clicked so well back in 2010, where they supported each other through waves of external criticism.
The fun part here is, they both claimed that they would proooobably not stick around after their careers - and yet, that's exactly what they did. Because words and actions aren't always congruent - especially when you went through personal development cycles like they did. Aaaaaand because loyal people attract other loyal people and usually cannot get out of their skin when they feel appreciated and like they can actually make a change.
I could probably write a whole novel on how I perceive Per's relationship behaviour to team mates and colleagues, as there are countless examples, from Clemens Fritz at Werder to Laurent Koscielny at Arsenal (and some others which we won't mention by name here, because they unfortunately turned out to be bad apples in some way or another). I'll still try to keep this briefly and get to the point as quickly as I can:
Like I said, he is mostly serious and keeps a certain professional distance, he's opinionated, analytical, witty and can lash out if he needs to - but there is also the other side of him. The one he probably still cannot fully calculate very well - and that is his immense physicality. It's basically one of his primary love languages (aside from very blunt words of reassurance, something he, for example, shares with Thomas MĂźller).
Per Mertesacker is someone who values hard work, humility, discipline and loyalty - and if you fulfill these criterias, he will let you *feel* if he likes you. It's why he vibed so well with Benedikt HĂśwedes and the aforementioned Arne Friedrich; it's why Lukas Podolski had become his closest companion during their shared Arsenal days. The way he talked about them AND showed his physicality (constant hugs, no sense of personal space, hands on shoulders) showed nothing but respect, adoration and affection.
With Poldi, you also had the element of him being some kind of happy-go-lucky goofball that pulled Per out of his seriousness every now and then - he was a complementary force that allowed Per to let out his own goofy, silly side as well.
And this is also why Per and Chris are such a perfect match - not only do they share the analytical approach, are down to earth, loyal and witty... But they still have this complementary vibe going on. Just looking at them, you would think they are basically twins (especially in height) separated at birth. But despite the fact that they are still both incredibly opionated, they have a different approach. Per is letting out the full extent of "wise old man dadness" (including the dad jokes), he's the serious one who may even seem a bit cold and harsh due to it (which is, again, something I feel he and Arne have in common). And then there's Chris with that youthful loud mouth, the boy is from my generation and it shows that there is an age difference - but by being his refreshingly open self, he isn't just speaking his mind, giving a voice to what a lot of people think... No, he also has a glimpse of that goofy spirit that enables Per to go with or against it in a playful way. It's very different from Poldi's spirit - but not any less effective.
People have speculated there is "beef" going on between them, but really, judging by the amount of physical closeness, hugs, arms around shoulders, singing the anthem, eating ice cream, playing sport, having playful banter... You can tell that Per "loves" Chris back - who has no issues saying that out loud. Honestly, Chris has that interesting history of being ridiculously vocal when it comes to reassuring others (Leon Goretzka and various Gladbach players come to mind), so it's not surprising that his loving attitude attracted Per as well. You can simply tell that he's impressed by him - and Chris giving him starstruck eyes on a regular basis probably contributed to it as well.
Long story short; I love them.

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Hellooooo, dramas from this past month :) I had a lot of fun watching most of these, which hadn't been happening lately.
The Story of Parkâs Marriage Contract, 2023 (kdrama) 7.5/8
A woman from the past travels to the future where she meets a man who resembles her deceased husband. In need of a wife, he strikes a contract with her, and blah blah blah, you know what happens next.
The chemistry was there 100%, the comedy too, but overall, I think it was just a mid watch for me. I was three episodes away from finishing but was struggling big time because I was getting bored.
The Romance of Tiger and Rose, 2020 (cdrama) 8
A scriptwriter ends up inside her own creation as a side character who dies early on in the drama and has a really bad reputation.
This was hilarious. Laughing out loud alone type of hilarious. It didn't make any sense at all, and it was extremely silly and sometimes even frustrating, but both actors were so great with the comedy (Zhao Lusi the actress that you are), so everything was just fun and romantic and cute... and weird enough, emotional af as well. I love these types of dramas where, after watching, you kinda feel empty inside lol. Comfort drama material? 100%
My Demon, 2023/24 (kdrama) 8
A demon becomes powerless after crossing paths with a cold heiress (who he obviously knew in their, guess what? Yes, past lives)
Kim Yoo Jung and Song Kang (his character is everything) were so cute in this! Their chemistry was definitely chemistring. I loved the concept and all, but for some reason, I couldnât put my whole heart into this drama, which resulted in me being a bit disappointed. Iâd get bored sometimes. I still donât know if itâs my problem though. Maybe it wasn't the right time to watch it since I had been watching so many dramas with similar storylines. Iâll give them this, though, these two were truly a comedic duoâ˘ď¸
My Man is Cupid, 2023/24 (kdrama) 8
A love fairy accidentally shoots himself with an arrow and ends up in love with a human, condemning him and his group of cupids to 500 years on Earth. In modern day, he gets entangled with a veterinarian who might be connected to what happened in the past. Also! Murder mystery.
This one just goes to prove that liking a drama is all about vibes for me. Is this different from what Iâve been watching? Nope. Itâs not better than the other ones above with similar premises. Yet somehow, unlike the others, it got my attention way more, and I totally binged it. Even when this particular one had some very confusing, probably so-so writing, moments. Granted, it has Nana in it. Nana makes everything worth it (Jang Dong Yoon was cute as well lol).
My Girlfriend is a Gumiho, 2010 (kdrama) (rewatch!) 7.5 âď¸
A cute gumiho saves an irresponsible rich kid who wants to become an action star by giving him her bead. Both of them gotta stick together while he heals.
Like I said back when I first saw this, COMFORT!! And I was in the mood for something silly and sweet after the same themes over and over again. I can't get over how cute Shin Min A and Lee Seung Gi are in this.
Falling Into You, 2022 (cdrama) 9
A student-athlete wants to do high jump but doesn't have the required height for the sport, so a postgraduate student-coach decides to take him under her wing and train him. Noona love story ensues.
So... I have a lot of mixed feelings about it because, all in all, I think this is one of the best cdramas I've watched. It's beautifully shot, the music is incredible, and the pacing, story, characters, and acting are all impeccable. Aside from Meet Yourself (fav ever) it's truly one of the most naturally acted cdramas I've seen so far as well. Even outside the romance part, everything was really good.
Now, was it inappropriate? For me, at least, I think it was. This young student is supposed to be 20, and his coach is said to be about to turn 28. They are both consenting adults (let's put it that way), but the power dynamics thing is still there. Overall, it was a nice surprise, and I completely binged it.
Welcome to Samdal-ri, 2023/24 (kdrama) 9
After a scandal, a famous photographer runs back to her hometown. Her ex, with whom she had an intense fallout (childhood friends to lovers), is there, and it seems like neither of them has moved on. (Also about family, and grief)
From the moment I saw Shin Hye Sun and Ji Chang Wook's pictures next to one another on a tweet saying they were going to be in a new drama together, I knew this was going to be a 10/10 in my books. Maximized joint slay. Add the hometown cha cha cha vibes, and you have an amazing tear-jerker drama. The rest of the cast is a great complement as well; their acting and their stories just make everything really emotional (I cried a lot lol), but it is 100% worth the watch. I'll be honest about one thing, though. As much as I loved it, it took me a while to finish the last two episodes cause I feel like they dragged the story a bit.
Princess Hours/Goong, 2006 (kdrama) 8
In a reimagined modern SK, a girl from an ordinary family gets hitched to the crown prince because of a promise both of their grandparents made in the past. A Diana x Charles x Camilla drama ensues (but like, with a happy ending).
This is what I like to call DRAMAâ˘ď¸. The type you hate everyone's behaviors, and you laugh, and you hate the ML, but you also want him to get with the FL, and you start hate watching, and then you giggle when they share moments and completely forget ML is a really shitty person lol. I started this cause I got sick, and I got way into it. ML being a major asshole and the FL having no self-respect (like the good old dramas and telenovelas) aside, I enjoyed binging this, and I can see why it was so popular. Their romance, though deeply flawed and a product of the time the drama was made, had some great moments, slow burn and natural as well. I was lowkey hoping for a happier ending, tho, but it was cute enough. Also, music bro, that main song is never getting out of my head. Comfort drama material: 100%
Playful Kiss, 2010 (kdrama) 5
FL confesses to ML, and he rejects her harshly. When her house collapses, her father moves them in with an old friend, who ends up being ML's father.
So after Goong, I thought I'd probably be able to watch this. Wrong. Shin's got nothing wrong in comparison so Seung Jo. Seung Jo is probably my most disliked ML ever lol. I binged this, hoping it'd get better, or just like Shin in Goong, he'd change a bit after getting together with FL. But nope, he remained an asshole throughout the whole thing. Gotta love that consistency. Comfort drama material: 1% (I saw the comments on Viki, and I don't know how people rewatched this, lol.)
#the story of park's marriage contract#the romance of tiger and rose#my demon#my man is cupid#my girlfriend is a gumiho#welcome to samdalri#falling into you#goong#princess hours#kdramas#cdrama#playful kiss#dovey watches
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Somebody go tell the very bright souls bringing up the clip of him saying "Megan became like the sun to me" (in Life in Pink) that he always described his significant other using the metaphor of the sun. It's all so frustrating to see, changing the past to fit their narrative.
1) He did call Hedi/Hedieh "his sunshine" when he captioned their first Instagram official picture, the deleted one of her in green between his legs with the caption Ain't No Sunshine When It's Gone.
2) He also called another ex of his, his angel of light and thanked her for always bringing the best out of him and being there in his darkest times (possibly his BM).
3) He also had literal sunflowers in Swing Life Away music video: he buys a bouquet from a homeless man to give sunflowers both to the actress playing girlfriend and the little girl on a bike.
4) the sun might also possibly remind him of an ex who allegedly loved Van Gogh. He both quoted the Starry Night in the 2013 interview with Evi Siskos for the Latin MundoFox TV Channel and generally referenced Van Gogh in Downfall High (when Fenix cuts his ear). Now that I think about it, even the Museum of Cleveland is very famous mainly for having real Van Gogh pieces (and also having Cupid and Pysche).
5) He also previously mentioned years ago the song My Only Sunshine, the song The One That Got Away (by Katy Perry, the music video ends with Johnny Cash rendition of My Only Sunshine) and only recently worked with Mod Sun to co-write his recent song where he sampled My Only Sunshine.
But yeah, let's ignore all of this and base the whole thing on Megan as if we have not been doing this for the past 4 years... as if when he said those words he did not know it was ending in a scripted documentary in the height of his relationship being so public. A documentary released few months after their (currenltly called off) engagement where everybody looked like they were required to say at least one nice thing about Megan (I love Rook, he really tried but couldn't hide his expression while... lying?).
Lastly, the rest of the song does not apply for her. So far she never showed she sees any good in him (she made him look like an abuser) and never seemed to grow flowers in the darkest part of him, quite the opposite.
I remember the whole "sun thing" going wild in blogs (I don't know if those sites still even exist) when he first posted Hedi using that caption. Boy, It's feels like mid-2010s all over again. Almost a decade passed, new fans came in but almost nothing changed, they still change and delete his past to fit their narrative :). So tired of this bs.
Honestly I wouldn't pay most of those fan pages any mind. They are just pandering to the masses so that if by the slight chance Kells views their page then he can see their undying "support." But I feel like the same way he sees support, he can also sense inauthenticity. If you've always liked her great, but don't fake it for some clicks and views. Because doesn't Kell's also hate fake love?
As for the song, even though I'm under the impression that Kell's does most things with a reason behind them. I genuinely think he only covered the song because he liked it. Maybe once upon a time he could relate it to someone special, but there are many songs that people like just to like. However I do appreciate the various different examples that you provided, because I think people tend to forget or just be plain ignorant about the fact that colson lived a life before Megan stepped on the scene.
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My Top 10 US Senators (2023)
This post is for 'My Top 10 US Senators' I'd like to fuck and is purely based on appearance, not politics. If you don't agree, either scroll onwards, post your own idea or try another blog.
#10. Sen. Jack Reed (D-RI)

An American lawyer and politician serving as the senior United States senator from Rhode Island. Cute little guy whose diminutive height 5 feet 7 inches on a good day, makes him a perfect pocket daddy.
#9. Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-AL)

A former American football coach, former player, and Republican politician. Heâs what you think a senator would look like. Iâd love to fuck around in bed with him for a weekend.
#8. Sen. Gary Peters (D-MI)

An American politician and businessman serving as the junior United States Senator from Michigan since 2015. A bearded, buttoned-down genial Midwesterner known in the Senate mostly for steering as far clear from the spotlight as he possibly can. One ally calls him a âworker bee,â while a Republican describes him as âabout as exciting as a bowl of cold oatmeal.â Iâd call him hot as hell.
#7. Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV)Â

An American politician serving as the senior United States senator from West Virginia, a seat he has held since 2010. Another politician who has a lot of political hate, but I fuck him. And if Iâm the only one who wants to ride him till he busts. So be it. If Virginia is for lovers, I say West Virginia is for fuckers.
#6. Sen. Tim Kaine (D-VA)

An American lawyer and politician serving as the junior United States senator from Virginia since 2013. Just by the look in his eyes makes me think Tim could be a hell of a good fuck. Nothing to base that on.
#5. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC)

An American politician serving as the senior United States senator from South Carolina, a seat he has held since 2003. Of course Iâve got my senate bottom bitch, Sen. Graham here. I kinda understand all the political hate, but I think heâs a mature southern gentleman from my state and Iâd love to beat his ass like he stole something from me. And when Iâm done with him, Iâll send him over to the next guy as I know Iâm not the only one whoâd fuck him.
#4. Sen. Mike Rounds (R-SD) Â

An American businessman and politician serving as the junior United States Senator from South Dakota since 2015. I need to give Sen. Rounds, who I affectionally call âMike Poundsâ some more love. Because he could get âThe Dick,â some ass or what ever he wants from me.
#3. Sen. Eric Schmitt (R-MI)

An American lawyer and politician serving as the junior United States senator from Missouri since 2023. The newest senator is tall at At 6â6â, handsome and wears boots. That's enough for me to want more of him.
#2. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX)

An American politician and attorney serving as the junior United States Senator for Texas since 2013. Honestly, Ted's here and this high only to piss off liberal, super political fuckers who can't separate looks from politics. Now that doesn't mean I don't want him naked in my bed with my jizz all over his face.
#1. Sen. Jon Tester (D-MT)

An American politician serving as the senior United States Senator from Montana, in office since 2007. If you didnât know that Jon would be my #1, you must be a new follower.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse Sen. Rand Paul Sen. Ron Johnson
#top 10 list#top ten list#jon tester#jack reed#ted cruz#mike rounds#eric schmitt#tommy tuberville#tim kaine#lindsey graham#joe manchin#gary peters#us senator#american politician#politician
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Happy birthday! Which flavor cake do you think is the each of the Knights' favorite
awww thank you :D
good question!!
Ryoken is hard for me to pin down. We know that in dub canon, which I will take as canonical lore, that he is a sweet tooth so I think he is kind of a maximalist. Now that I think of it, he reminds me of those galaxy marble icing cakes from the 2010s if anyone knows those but I don't think that's his personal choice. I honestly think he likes plain vanilla with chocolate or strawberry icing. Also strawberry shortcake, he loves strawberry shortcake, I have just realised
Spectre in my heart of hearts is most fond of lemon or orange cakes but I also see the vision that the Sunavalon pods are inspired by cocoa beans so I also think a simple chocolate cake would be his height of hedonism
Aso is simple, he is a pound cake kind of guy, or box mix vanilla, maybe swished up with walnuts, almonds, or similar
Kyoko is classy, she's a red velvet girlie or maybe vanilla spongecake with strawberries, o
Genome is a maximalist, I'm thinking chocolate or caramel mudcakes, maybe both
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