#2 months feeding on hermits <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[sillysnaily]

Ravager sketches, the usual yk

[skylinesnsunshines]

kiss of life reading: current energies

hi everyone <3 long time no chat, im actually back and happy new year! :'). i apologise for not being consistent and absent this last year, my life has made a 360 and i had a lot going on which caused me to stop focusing on tarot. however, i've been slowly getting into it and i feel like i now have a better grasp on my life so i am now doing readings again. i'll be pickier on who i do readings for but still feel free to send your requests. hope you enjoy! <3

DISCLAIMER: this is all speculative and for entertainment purposes only, so take it with a grain of salt :)

personal readings

(italicised is the card on the bottom of the tarot deck which is meant to represent the subconscious/blind spot of the situation + rx means reversed)

JULIE 🐰

page of cups, page of pentacles, 4 of swords, 7 of pentacles | snake: creation | balance | pleasure

when i was pulling julie's cards, i envisioned her stepping back and learning new skills (could be a new instrument or something like that). i think she's currently in a period of experimentation and learning different skills that aids her in her artistry. the 2 page cards tells me that she's trying out new things outside of her comfort zone and improving the skills she already has. the page of cups details new ideas, which could be tied into kiof's next comeback and how they are brainstorming a concept or idea. with the two pages as well, julie could also be offered many different opportunities, and I feel that she is a bit overwhelmed. she could be in a period of self-reflection and truly asking herself what/who she wants to align herself with as the has multiple opportunities. contrasting the two cards, the 4 of swords details rest, recuperation, meditation, etc. which I could totally see for julie. she could be manifesting an opportunity and is currently in her "receiving" state. the 7 of pentacles on the bottom does indicate that she is working diligently, and putting her head down and focusing on herself and her craft. i feel like julie will really challenge herself this year and we might see a different side of her than what we are used to.

the snake card is interesting to me, as the pages indicate creation, julie is definitely feeding her creative need and focusing on experimentation. the pleasure card tells me that she is enjoying her job and often forgets time as a result. the balance card does tell me that she needs to be mindful of how deep she is in her work, as there is a tendency for her to be burnt out.

NATTY🦦

knight of pentacles rx, strength, hermit, emperor rx | gorilla: peace | rest | flexibility

natty could be focusing on reclaiming her energy and resting. currently, natty could be focusing on self-improvement and creating a routine for herself that helps her achieve her goals. all her cards detail that she is currently in an introspective mood and spending her days recharging herself. the strength card tells me that natty might be struggling with feelings of perfectionism, but the universe wants her to remember that she is capable in overcoming everything that she thinks she is unable to do. i know kiof is planning a comeback next month so i wonder if natty has been feeling burnt out preparing for that. the hermit tells me that natty has been doing a lot of introspection and focusing on herself. natty could be practising or looking to improve her skills herself. the emperor rx tells me that natty's perfectionistic traits could be at a high right now, and that she needs to reign in her need for control as it can be detrimental to her growth.

the gorilla card describes someone who leads by example and focuses on having inner peace for themselves. the rest and flexibility cards tell me that natty could be feeling the need to control and have been focusing on following a rigid routine for the comeback.

BELLE🐥

justice, 2 of cups, 8 of wands, the chariot rx | swan: beauty | strength | trust

currently, belle could be entering a significant relationship in her life. 2 of cups usually depict romance so it could either be a significant partnership in her career (justice deals with the law) or a romantic partnership. either way, the energy seems significant and is progressing at a rapid speed (8 of wands). this could have come out of nowhere, which is what caught belle by surprise, however, the justice card is a good sign as it represents equal reciprocation and effort. the chariot card in reverse on the bottom tells me that belle would subconsciously want to be a bit more cautious in this scenario, due to its fast movement. belle's person could be wanting to move the relationship to a more serious commitment, but belle could be the one that wants to take a slower approach to this relationship.

swan details romance again, this girl could enter her lovergirl era as it reminds us that beauty is subjective and to look for beauty in everything. strength and trust could mean that belle is unsure and wary about this relationship, so the universe just wants to remind her that she has immense personal strength and to trust that she is divinely protected.

HANEUL🦊

the emperor, 2 of pentacles, the world rx, queen of cups rx | snake: creation | confidence | blessings

haneul could be becoming more vocal and demanding (not in a bad way) in her personal life. i have this feeling that haneul is starting to know what makes her happy and what she wants to do career wise. i feel this sense of autonomy has come into haneul as she has experienced life more. the 2 of pentacles signifies juggling between two things, so haneul might be doing lots of work regarding her personal life and career and juggling it well. i also get the feeling that she might receive an increase on her finances from a male figure in her life, my assumption is that she is learning to diversify her skills as an artist and receives more income that way. with the world rx, i feel like haneul is seeking closure on a certain situation. maybe she started a project but it didn't pan out to how she envisioned and she is still holding onto that hope. the queen of cups rx tells me regarding this specific situation, haneul needs to prioritise her feelings and emotions and focus on self-love as i feel like this situation affected her personally.

just like julie, i think haneul is experimenting with her music and what/who she wants to be as an artist. she could be working together with julie when it comes to music or dancing. the confidence tells me that the situation that didn't come into fruition has affected haneul's confidence. i think she could also be experimenting in the next comeback and lost confidence cause its out of her comfort zone. however, the blessings card is a good omen that all the work haneul is doing will benefit her in the future. the blessings card tell me that although haneul might struggle with her confidence or feelings currently, haneul will experience positivity and prosperity soon.

that is all! if you have any feedback, comments, queries or requests please don’t hesitate to reach out to me my ask box is always open. sending you all love, light, positivity and abundance <3 much love

[brightphantasm3500]

Since the post I just reblogged had me thinking about Kineticist in Pathfinder (both editions) again, I just went on a brain-tangent and I'm going to put my thoughts down here.

In the recently released Treasure Vault book in the Fulus section, as well as hinted at (more like explicitly stated) in last year's Kineticist playtest as something to be introduced in next-month-ish's Rage of Elements book, Paizo is looking more into the Chinese Elements to bring more uniqueness into the setting.

In the kineticist playtest, they mention new elemental planes, the planes of Wood and Metal are going to be released, but in Treasure Vault, we have some pretty explicit references to the Chinese Elements and their cyclical, interactive nature with several of the new Fulu released coming with explicit coloration, the meaning explained with this sidebar:

So I'm very curious to see just how much further in Rage of the Elements Paizo is going to take this. I already have a character concept of a Tian Geomancer Druid who uses primarily the chinese elements for their magic (The name Geomancer holds a bit of a special place to me as one of the first places I'm aware of it from, the Job in Final Fantasy 3, was actually named "Fengshui Master" in the original japanese) who is taking some inspiration from a few sources (the idea of Hermits and Saints as depicted in Touhou, namely) with their ultimate goal being ascendancy ala the 18th level druid feat.

My wishlist of sorts for the fast-approaching fully-released-Kineticist, as a result of my train of thought on this matter, now includes the following: A Gate option similar to Universal Gate that locks the Wind element, which would give the Kineticist access only to Fire, Water, Earth, Wood and Metal; the chinese elements, obviously. I would love to see this gate have something unique about it that follows the cyclical nature of the elements, giving us a version of kineticist that encourages switching elements in combat to get greater effects through the idea of feeding elements with other elements, as noted in the fulu sidebar above.

As a reminder, as of the playtest, A kineticist starts with 3 options for how they manifest their control over elements:

The Dedicated Gate gives the Kineticist access only to one of the elements and can only attack using Elemental Blast of that element, with the boon of getting to start character creation with 3 Level 1 feats with the Impulse trait matching their chosen gate.

The Dual Gate gives the kineticist access to two elements. Switching between which element is active is a single action, and you may choose 2 Level 1 impulse feats; One feat must match one of your elements chosen and the other feat must match the other.

The Universal Gate currently gives access to all elements, switching which of the currently 4 elements you can attack with is of course a single action, and while you only get 1 Level-1 Impulse Feat, you have no restrictions on which you may take and you may change your chosen feat at the start of daily preparations.

There's also a sidebar in the playtest promising that hybrid elements will be a thing.

Anyway, I'm excited for Rage of the Elements and I'm excited to see what the full release of my favorite PF1 class is going to look like.

[vapemaster42069]

i'm procrastinating so here's an intro to a Hermitcraft AU i've been slowly microwaving in my brain for 3-5 business months:

basically, Hermitcraft show/stage set au! each hermit is a member of the cast, crew, or both, and alongside the regular storylines of the show, they feature crazy builds and ridiculous redstone as a part of the worldbuilding.

While several of the Hermits live on-server, mostly admin/operator people and anyone who really wants to, most of them live off-server or part-time. Iskall somehow has a timeshare with some unknown entity of his own base on-server. He doesn't know how he got it. No one can explain the situation to her, either.

Mostly backstage stuff, tbh; Meeting & Eating, weekly script-readings, goofing around on-set, dealing w shit when it inevitably goes wrong (losing lens caps, forgetting lines, laying dolly tracks, etc), building, mining, crafting, attempting to get Tango out of his cave, and annoying each other until it becomes a bit.

Hels and Ex live on-server, Ex as a cinematographer and Hels as an operator. Because the show recently got swapped from a cable channel to a streaming service, but the season was already filmed with commercial breaks, they have been tasked with filling 2-5 minutes of time in the middle of episodes. Nearly half of their budget goes into bleeping parts out. They have featured segments such as: "3 Second Interviews", "Explaining Star Wars Lore To Scar Incorrectly Until He Explodes", "Swapping Hels and Wels Without Telling Wels About It", and various backstage interviews, set tours, costuming visits, and different versions of force-feeding American food to non-Americans.

also! here's a collection of fics I've written, primarially featuring exhels and domestic, backstage stuff, and another one outside the series thing but in the au

and here's another post of random shit in the au if you're into that

[hermette-historian]

It's important to look deeply at the near-death experiences that the series has had in order to understand how it has grown, why it has changed the way that it did, and the reasoning behind some of the decisions that the members continue to make to this day. In looking at history we also find the answers to some of the greatest mysteries of the series, as well as some of the most frequently asked and vaguely answered questions. With that in mind:

What Really Killed Hermitcraft Season 1?

Episode 1: Death of a Bachelor

If you ask Xisuma why the first season ended, he will say in no uncertain terms that it was the loss of their founder and leader GenerikB. And he's right.

GB's final episode of Hermitcraft aired on April 20, 2013; the same date as Jessassin's, though that seems to have been pure coincidence. In it he states that he is leaving because while he is still in love with the game, the vanilla version just..wasn't doing it for him anymore. He was done with that world, ready for something fresh and exciting to be added, and to him that meant mods. To this day, he still plays modded Minecraft over on Twitch! But after he left Hermitcraft, he never really went back to vanilla. More importantly, he also implies that while the server may go on in his absence, he finds it unlikely to continue long term-true to his prediction, the series floundered without direction for another month before Xisuma uploaded his final video on June 2 of that year. Hermitcraft officially died with the disappearance of its namesake.

Here's where we look deeper, because while GB's departure may have been the straw that broke the camel's back it was by no means the only reason the season ended. Just digging deeper into each of his reasons for leaving, we can see the storm brewing as far back as November of the previous year.

Episode 2: The Call of Cthulhu

What happened in November, you ask? Modded Minecraft happened. More specifically, the extremely popular modpack Feed the Beast was released beta at that time, and the Hermits at large wasted zero time in getting in on the action. There was within a month a dedicated "Hermitcraft Feed the Beast" server, from which a few hermits were added to the vanilla counterpart retroactively: Juicetra and Skyzm among them. Other members included Hypno, Topmass, DMAC, and of course GB...FTB quickly consumed the working lives of the Hermits; it was the first experience many of them had with a real modpack, and it introduced mechanics they could only dream about having in the survival game (like flying, for instance). Content on the vanilla server began to slow down. It didn't help that none of the hermits were full time creators in 2013-their time was limited, and when they were able to spend it doing the things they wanted to do that ended up being FTB. Some members such as DMAC promised more vanilla content once the craze was over, but the "craze" never stopped and he ended up going full months without putting out vanilla episodes. The FTB server had its own issues and ended up dying of technical problems and rollbacks later down the line, but it alone played a massive part first in boosting Hermitcraft Vanilla, then slowly choking it to death.

But there is one more unsung murderer when it comes to the grave demise of Hermitcraft Season 1: the game itself.

Episode 3: If I Die Young

When Dinnerbone joined Hermitcraft in summer 2012, he requested that they begin to update through snapshots instead of waiting for full releases-presumably so that he could use them as a test server. The decision to honor his suggestion, however, was a divisive one. Some members jumped on the opportunity! GB and Red3yz in particular were beyond excited to test everything from new terrain generation to redstone mechanics. Others like Xisuma and Biffa were more cautious, preferring to wait until the game was ready to play in a way that would be fulfilling to them. Still others-Joe Hills among them-were excited at first...then fell quickly into the opposite camp when half of their house spontaneously went missing and occasionally they couldn't craft anything with the wooden planks. The snapshots proved to be glitchy as all hell and an administrative nightmare, creating little but endless stress for GB on admin duty and Hypno in the world edit repair department. But they stuck with it! Hermitcraft continued to update through every single snapshot from 1.3 until 1.5, each new week bringing a new set of uncertainties and challenges to overcome. For a group of creators that were already fatigued with vanilla and focused on something more interesting, it's easy to see how this kind of thing would force a divide between them and the server...nobody wants to create content on a game that's unnecessarily difficult on a good day.

Of course, there were other little things that drove the Hermits away from its original phase. A big one for GB that goes unmentioned was definitely the state of his base: the original that he spent nearly a year building was burnt to the ground during the conflict with TEA and redone in creative mode by Topmass and the Pimp my Minecraft team. Not only did this cause controversy among the fans like you wouldn't believe, it left little for him to do in the world where his own creations were largely gone altogether. Other Hermits like Jess ran out of inspiration or burned out in a more typical fashion.

Thus in June of 2013, just over a year after its original inception, Hermitcraft died.

On the third day it rose again, dragged by the ears near single-handedly out of the grave by the person with the most determination to see it succeed. A new era began of rebuilding on a solid foundation, with dignity intact and lessons learned, a stronger brand, a clear distinction, and no snapshots. Eventually, they would have a new leader. But these things will all take time.

Hermitcraft beta was doomed by being built on sand instead of rock. It was strangled by the game itself, a victim of circumstance and false promises and opportunity. It died and came back stronger. And once every year or two, it feels the need to do so again.

Here's to Season 8, and many more to come.

[acerace]

...you have opened my eyes to a vast universe of VintageBeef lore that I was unaware of. I knew about the New Hermit Order, of course, and the UHC invention, and I've watched a few of his CTM things but -- I will take all the info and lore you feel like giving out because Beef is amazing and my knowledge is so small.

Vintagebeef my beloved <3

So the thing is, right, until about 2016 I only watched two (2) youtubers- Vintagebeef for Minecraft and aDrive for Pokemon (and funnily enough both of them are named Dan irl). So I've watched most of Beef's videos over the years and have a general knowledge of most of his stuff, except because it's been like a decade I don't remember where most of the lore comes from XD

The thing with him is that he doesn't do Lore tm the way other mcyters often do lore- he doesn't have an extensive RP series to draw from like Grian, doesn't have a solo world with steadily increasing amounts of lore like Etho or Zisteau, and while he's played on SMPs and been involved in storylines before it's not really the focus of his episodes unlike with Evo or Legacy or Empires

So where does that leave us?

IRL, Beef always has multiple series running at the same time. Often he's playing on an smp while doing a singleplayer, often modded, series as well as a CTM or modpack with a group of friends. For example, right now he's playing on Hermitcraft, doing weekly Pixelmon and Building a Zoo episodes, and a CTM map with Slip. And to me, this translates to one thing: Beef is an adventurer. He travels frequently- he explores a world and when he decides he's done, he leaves for the next one. That's the basis of my personal interpretation of his series and his character for my writing.

Ok so reading this back, this got extremely long and didn't explain much in the way of lore, somehow? If anyone has any additions to add please do so, I am very definitely leaving out a lot and would love to see what other lore people remember and are using for Beef! I didn’t include the Hermitcraft stuff since my memory of season 4 is blurry (his base was themed after the Martian, that much I know, and he and Iskall were buddies :D) and most of the s5 NHO lore is best watched from Bdub’s perspective from what I remember, and the only s6 stuff is a single line in Hermitgang and then the Area 77 arc with its possibility of an NHO reunion which we did not get rip. And s7 of course had the cloning machine and also the Podzol Party as the main lore. So all the original rambling is still below the cut though it is very long, and I'm gonna bullet point the main stuff here instead:

Actual canonical things:

Invented UHC and was the only survivor of the first ever uhc (Mindcrack UHC s1)

Married to an ender dragon (one of the UHCs I think), later father to a different dragon (Mindcrack season 3? I think?)

Might not have legs if you choose to take that joke as canon (Mindcrack s2)

Was a wizard (RAD)

is a zookeeper (Building a Zoo) 

Had a wife and kids (Sims in Minecraft)

Part of the Trial of the B Team court case (Mindcrack)

NHO founder, founder of the Podzol Party (Hermitcraft)

Created a cloning machine that sort of works (Hermitcraft)

Played the Forest which is I believe the first time he and Keralis played together (look up the trigger warnings for this one, it's a horror game)

Was the creator/owner of Sourceblock SMP (featuring some familiar faces if you know Legacy, Empires, or MCC) and there is literal magic from a mysterious sourceblock of water that teleports people and summons mobs and probably more stuff that I haven't seen yet since I'm still watching it myself

Things you can infer:

Good with animals (Life in the Woods, Pixelmon, Ark)

Is a car nerd (irl and all of the car games he's played)

Is a highly experienced adventurer who has traveled through dozens of worlds both vanilla and modded, across multiple dimensions (Twilight Forest, the Aether, the Betweenlands, Limbo), completed dozens of monuments, fought in blood sports, survived apocalypse after apocalypse, tamed dinosaurs, and played a lot of prop hunt and golf with your friends

If you're looking for what to watch for lore purposes, I'd say the Mindcrack UHCs and Team Canada's RAD series are pretty good, definitely Sourceblock and HC s5, plus the Diversity CTM maps and Ruins of the Mindcrackers maybe? And Mindcrack Prank Wars for the chaos and the origin of Team Canada. And if you can handle horror than the Forest is fun and if you don't do horror you can watch the Pojkband play golf or prop hunt they're hilarious I love them sm I want a Pojkband reunion So Bad 

Beef's first series was a singleplayer series in beta 1.4_01 though he had played the game extensively before that, and was a big fan of Guude, having watched his own Minecraft videos. The series was functionally a hardcore one where if he died Beef would delete the world and start again! I haven't actually Watched this series so idk if he died or how often lmao. When Guude made Mindcrack, which was btw one of the very first Minecraft SMPs, he also hosted a competition for people to join, and Beef submitted a video (which is still viewable on his channel I believe!) and won, and was added to Mindcrack in season 2 :D (fun fact, Guude said that even if Beef hadn’t won he would have added him anyway) 

Two running jokes emerged from Mindcrack- pulling a Vintagebeef and Beef doesn't have legs. The first is a reference to Beef dying of fall damage (I believe the exact instance was him trying to jump into his swimming pool and failing spectacularly) and after the incident, every time someone died of fall damage they were pulling a Vintagebeef. The second joke comes from Guude, who joked that the reason Beef wasn't going to a convention was because he didn't have legs, and then he pranked Beef's base by building a giant pair of legs at the entrance to his castle so you had to walk between them to get into the base. This joke has long since died and both Beef and Guude feel pretty bad about it iirc because there were people who genuinely thought Beef was disabled and were emailing him supportive messages and stuff oops. So if you go looking on the Salad or find old Mindcrack fics, you might see references to Beef having prosthetic legs!

Mindcrack also brought about the creation of several Player groups- Team Nancy Drew, Team Canada, and GOB to name a few relevant to Beef. Team Nancy Drew consists of Beef, Pauseunpause, Guude, and Baj, who formed to investigate a prank on one of the members but I forget who. They're named Nancy Drew after the detective! Team Canada also formed in retaliation to pranks, with it consisting of Beef, Etho, and Pause, the three Canadian members on the server (not including Adlington who moved to Canada but never joined the group). There was also a Team America who pranked them with American flags everywhere. GOB is Guude, OMGChad, and Beef, who played stuff like the Ragecraft, Pantheon, and Monstrosity ctms together but that's way down the line lol

Team Nancy Drew is also notable for inventing UHC. It was Beef's brainchild but it was the four of them who first played it! The first UHC had the four of them working to kill the dragon with no natural regen, with everyone dying but Beef, who "won" the UHC. The second uhc was still dragon focused and iirc is where Beef married the dragon? Memories are hazy but they do kill the dragon in this one I think. UHC was then revamped as a pvp event and became a regular Mindcrack game every few months, featuring most of the Mindcrackers and several special guests, including Dinnerbone, who as we know Thanos-snapped Doc's arm out of existence as a result of Doc killing him in one of them

In one of the seasons of Mindcrack, Beef invited swedish Mindcracker and good friend Anderzel to go caving with him and invented ABBA Rules caving, where the winner takes it all. ABBA Rules is a game where each ore (and also dungeon loot like nametags) is assigned a point value and the person with the most points at the end wins and gets to keep all the stuff collected from the game.

In Mindcrack season 3?, Beef punched the ender dragon in an... awkward area, so when the dragon died and left the egg behind, Guude said Beef was the father of the egg XD I don't remember if I watched s3 so I have no idea if anything Happened with this concept but *history of the world voice* you could make lore out of this!

So Team Canada has played a Lot of CTM maps (which fun fact were pretty much invented by another Mindcrack member, Vechs, with his Super Hostile series! Super Hostile has a bunch of things called "Zistonian", which are references to another Mindcrack member Zisteau, who has a very wild singleplayer series with even wilder lore but I digress). In Ruins of the Mindcrackers, they had a running joke that Beef was Etho and Pause's mom, which is a joke we can leave in the past actually /lh. They also played all the Diversity maps, Sky Factory, Terra Restore, Uncharted Territory uhhh and a couple more ctms and adventure maps! Each map kinda has its own story so in Diversity 3 for example they were trapped in a simulation? I think? Team Canada also recently played the Roguelike Adventures and Dungeons modpack, aka RAD, in which Beef was a wizard with a magic staff that could do anything from summon lightning to control hostile mobs.

Sourceblock SMP is a vanilla survival 1.14 series that ran for one season and the series starts with each of the Players being drawn to a strange sparkling water source that, once they touch it, brings them to the Sourceblock world. It also summons a giant zombie at one point. There's probably more lore for this series but like I said I haven't watched it all the way through yet 

He has a Patreon server called VintageCraft and has done a series or two on there as well, and played a few UHCs with them, so lore that how you will! 

Beef also played a few popular mods, notably Pixelmon, Life in the Woods, and Feed the Beast, with LitW being singleplayer and the other multiplayer. He's also recently played the Zoo and Wild Animals mod a lot. He did a short series with the Minecraft Comes Alive mod where he married one of the villagers and had two children, so that's canon now :D he’s played a Lot of Pixelmon starting when the mod first came out iirc (he chose Turtwig in his first series and built a Grass gym, then made a Normal gym in another series in uhh 2016) and he still plays to this day. Quite a few Hermits played on his Pixelmon servers with him, like Wels, Etho, Iskall, Stress, Slip, Zueljin, and also Guude and Phedran (a Mindcrack adjacent player and creator of the LitW modpack) and a few Mindcrackers on the older servers 

Mindcrack and friends played a lot of other games too- 7 Days to Die, Ark Survival Evolved, Unturned, to name a few, so you can pull a lot of lore out of these as well. Speaking of friends and non-Minecraft games, Beef teamed up with Pause, Keralis, and Slip (a former Hermit) to play the horror game the Forest, which saw them stuck on an island trying to survive against terrifying mutated human... things. They played it a few times as the game updated but as afaik it's the first time Beef played with Keralis and possibly Slip and since the game starts with the Player's airplane crashing, that could totally be how Beef first met them in-universe 

I... think? that’s everything I mentioned in the tags? There is probably way more stuff I’ve forgotten that stems from inside jokes and things that happen within each series, but I hope that was a) helpful and b) at least somewhat comprehensible lmao 

[rarepears]

I would love to see more Ichigo in SVSSS/ PIDW verse. The ao3 fanfic https://archiveofourown.org/works/33728518/chapters/83833381, fifteen to seven really got me on this train. I can totally see Ichigo succeeding even if he was reborn as himself not just Yue Qi who was destined for the sect leader path. There are so many options.

Idea 1:

Ichigo is reborn as a normal human and somehow becomes sect leader of Cang Qiong sect but in the previous generation and won’t stand for the shit show that the next generation is becoming nor for the disciple abuse. Becomes famous for his duel blades. Beats the truth out of Yue Qi as he recognises himself in the boy and his actions were similar whenever one of his friend’s was in danger. Therefore Xiao Jiu only gets stuck at the Qiu’s for a couple of months.

Idea 2:

Reincarnates as a golden orange dragon which people periodically try and slaughter but still ends up giving some training tips or sagely advise to young kids. Would end up tossing Luo Binghe back into the abyss a couple of times for the monster he was becoming. If it’s SVSSS Binghe I think he would just give a large lecture about consent and boundaries, but PIDW Binghe’s nefarious actions would disgust him.

Idea 3:

Reincarnates into PIDW a few hundred years before the novel would begin with a mock system of his own that zangetsu and Hichigo like to terrorise and therefore can never truly get an iron hold on him but won’t let him go to soul society until the novel plot is finished. He either somehow becomes a wandering but famous hermit or an emperor who later starts to get worshipped as a god or believed to be a heavenly demon (the one time Hichigo borrowed his body and it had to have witnesses). He of course messes up the novel as usual, not like he actually knew the plot of the book.

Oh dang, anon. These are amazing!

Here's one of my (evil) ideas:

Since "Ichigo" can also mean strawberries if written with different kanji, let's have Ichigo be reborn to the SVSSS world as a... strawberry plant. Yes. But thanks to Ichigo's massive reiatsu reserves, Ichigo is able to quickly cultivate into a strawberry plant spirit.

Just imagine this: Ichigo, our fearsome boi with carrot orange hair having white strawberry blossoms mixed into his hair as he scowls threateningly at bandits with one sword unsheathed. But there are butterflies flying around him (thanks to the strawberry flowers). And birds chirping around him (because they can smell the delicious smell of strawberries and think Ichigo is food has food.)

Our strawberry boi can grow all the strawberries now. He's known to mortals as the strawberry king because he hands strawberries out left and right to the poor, the hungry, and the desperate. Big Brother Ichigo strikes again!

(Ichigo doesn't have a green thumb. He only can grow strawberries because he's a strawberry spirit and he has massive reiatsu reserves which basically translates to infinite amount of energy to grow strawberries.)

One of the brats he feeds ends up being... [insert character of your choice. It can be freshly orphaned Luo Binghe, street rat Shen Jiu, a dirty looking Tianlang Jun who's napping on the streets for fun but looks like a homeless beggar as a result, etc.]

[kingfrumpkin]

harrow & schizophrenia

i was asked to elaborate on my "harrow is schizophrenic" post and im more than happy to! i dont see this talked about a lot and it makes me sad & i hope theres more talk about it as time goes on

without further ado, here is harrow and her schizophrenia symptoms

the DSM-V outlines 5 symptoms of schizophrenia, which includes (1) hallucinations, (2) delusions, (3) disorganized speech (4) disorganized/catatonic behavior, and (5) negative symptoms. one only has to have 2 of these symptoms to get a diagnosis for schizophrenia, given they have lasted longer than 6 months and are not caused by drugs

let's go through these symptoms individually in regards to harrow:

1) hallucinations

there is no doubting that harrow suffers from hallucinations, as mentioned several many times throughout harrow the ninth. her hallucinations are mainly auditory (hearing doors close or people walking) and visual (the Body, hallucinating cythera's body, implied past hallucinations in her dream-river scape.) even in the first book there is evidence of harrows hallucinations, mainly when her and gideon are sneaking around hallways and have to stop constantly for "no reason", according to gideon

2) delusions

delusions are a little trickier to show examples of because the books are rarely from her POV, but i would consider her relationship with the Body a delusion. the Body has no special relationship to her and is incapable of feeling love to her, however harrow believes that they have this deep relationship. technically this could be considered a "religious hallucination" where "someone might think they have a special relationship with a deity" (WebMD). this delusion feeds into her hallucinations of the Body.

3) disorganized speech

harrow has no known disorganized speech patterns or confused thoughts. she has no problem talking/following trains of thoughts accurately

4) disorganized/catatonic behavior

this would be under the category of movement disorders in terms of schizophrenia which, again, is hard to gauge with everything that goes on in the books. however, there is one key line that mentions how harrow would lose track of time simply staring at/being with the body and waste hours doing this. if still at the time, this could be considered catatonic behavior. however, that is possibly a stretch

5) negative symptoms

negative symptoms is a little broad so let's break it down a little.

flattening: "When they talk, their voice can sound flat, like they have no emotions. They may not smile normally or show usual facial emotions in response to conversations or things happening around them" (WebMD)

we don't really have many descriptors of harrows inflection, or lack thereof, when speaking except when in moments of stress or upsetting circumstances, like with harrow witnessing the mercy/john/august sandwich. it could be said that harrow has a severe lack of facial expressions in response to normal day-to-day conversations

withdrawal/apathy: "This might include no longer making plans with friends or becoming a hermit. Talking to the person can feel like pulling teeth: If you want an answer, you have to really work to pry it out of them." (WebMD)

this is another obvious symptom that harrow has. she wants to work with no one and prefers to spend her times alone. she almost refuses to go to the dinner that magnus and abigail have and is uncomfortable the entire time. it is very hard to get answers out of her as well, as gideon is unable to do so and constantly gets frustrated with.

struggling with the basics of daily life: "They may stop bathing or taking care of themselves." (WebMD)

this is another obvious symptom. harrow rarely takes care of herself and has to be forced to.

other symptoms/schizophrenic behaviors

there are links between certain behaviors and schizophrenia that are worth going over, outside of the officially recognized symptoms

this section will be worked in examples of harrows behaviors

harrows rituals

rituals are important to harrow and is stressed in harrow the ninth. in flashbacks, she describes a series of rituals she practices and her strict adherence to them.

obsessive compulsive tendencies are found linked with schizophrenia in multiple cases. in an article in psychiatry MMC, several authors state: "Although OC symptoms in schizophrenia were once thought to occur rarely [...] recent studies have shown greater prevalence". case 1 of this article outlines a man with OCD-type rituals

harrow's paranoia

it is obvious harrow is a very paranoid person with her constant wards and sneaking around in the first house. paranoia is a symptom closely linked with schizophrenia, usually due to delusions/hallucinations

-

and at this point ive hit the character limit so UHHHH YEAH TY FOR READING

[skrltwtch]

Muse

Prompt 1: Just like some people sleep-walk, you tend to paint or draw while in your transformed state because it calms you down. And apparently, people really like your art.

Prompt 2: A is a popular artist, and B messages them without thinking one day. They didn’t expect to become friends, and they definitely didn’t expect to become more. Person B just felt that connection between the two of them.

Prompt 3: A/Werewolf has a tendency to curl like a dog in front of the fireplace a lot (usually in their werewolf form, but it’s not uncommon for them to do it as a human). (Sources in master list)

Word count: 3,721 words

Genre: Fluff, romance, supernatural

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

I put up with the long commute to and fro between home and work for two reasons, and two reasons alone: the decent rent for a place with a picturesque view and that catered to my monthly needs, and the glut of time to catch up on my reading. And by ‘reading’, I meant ‘scrolling through the handful of social media feeds that survived my latest cull of shit that was taking up my time and storage space unnecessarily, and occasionally attempting (and failing) to pay attention to my Kindle’. Hey, at least I was aware I had a problem …?

Instagram was my first hit of the day. I flicked past images of makeup, friends in situations I wouldn’t be finding myself in anytime soon, and cute animals. The occasional meme and comic draw out an exhalation of air from my nostrils. I marvelled at artwork and photography, half wishing I were half as good as the people I followed and admired, half chiding myself for not practising either enough and losing interest quicker than I’d dropped money on new equipment in the name of my new endeavours. You could say one of my hobbies, the ones I’d been consistent about, was amassing gadgets obtained to indulge my whims and fancies.

My heart skipped a beat — or was it the pothole the bus went over? — when I came across a new post by George. I didn’t know him personally to refer to him by his first name like that, but hadn’t social media broken down boundaries between people, making them seem closer to each other than they really were? He was an illustrator whose work I chanced upon on Reddit a while back. His portfolio was a patchwork of subjects, often portraits, rendered mostly in traditional media like watercolour and oil paint. He sometimes shook things up with abstract, contemplative pieces. He had something for almost everyone. For me, it was his attractive, angular yet distinctive faces and statuesque figures, use of watercolour, and versatility: one piece could be superhero fanart, followed by a collection of moody, atmospheric paintings of the English landscape with some fantastical additions.

It also helped that he seemed to be a nice, chill person, and a handsome one at that, too, based on the smattering of pictures he had of himself on his feed. Please, let me imagine a world in which someone as ideal as him — or what I knew about him — wasn’t beholden to anyone for a moment.

His latest post was a drippy bust of a snarling wolf with full moons for eyes. The caption simply read: ‘Mood.’ I smirked as I hit the like button. Did I mention that he drew wolves a lot as well? Sometimes his wolves were feral; sometimes they were humanoid, but still wild. The latter featured heavily in his conceptual works, albeit as hazy, indistinct forms, like blurry photographs. In any case, I liked that he had a fondness for wolves and werewolves, as the constant presence of the full moon in art of the latter would suggest. Anyone who liked wolves was a-okay in my book. Anyone who liked werewolves was even more so. Because.

An interrupted connection between my brain and my reflexes led me to visit his profile. Instead of returning to my feed, my thumb gravitated toward the message button at the top of the screen. Not a single cell in my body resisted this turn of events despite the restored connection. Oh, what the hell. Why not? Like, what were the chances he’d read my message? He had tens of thousands of followers, a likely considerable chunk of them being bots aside. He must receive DMs every other minute. I’d be another sycophant in his sea of fans. Or he’d see my homely mug and locked profile, and he’d think I was driven to add to his never-ending count of unread messages simply out of misguided thirst.

The beauty of the Internet was that it made ‘out of sight, out of mind’ fairly easy to put into practice.

I got the following out of my system and into his inbox: ’Hi! Hope you’re doing well. I’ve been following your Instagram for a while, and your latest post just made me want to say your art is amazing. (I can totally identify with the sentiment behind it.) I especially love your more abstract pieces. There’s something so … raw about them. And I like that you seem to like wolves a lot, too. They’re beautiful animals, and your art really captures that about them. Anyway, keep up the great work! Take care.’

I exited Instagram, not caring about the rest of my feed anymore and not wanting to feel like I was stalking my notifications for something that’d never come. My phone buzzed with several notifications as I went down my Reddit homepage. I swiped away the banners with green icons that pelted the top of my screen. Those could wait. What couldn’t were the banners stating that I had a new message and a new follower request from ���

‘Oh, my God!’ I said, loudly enough for me to hear my own voice above my music (the chorus of Walk the Moon’s ‘Shut Up and Dance’ at half of maximum volume, so … loud). Not one soul on this lightly populated bus acknowledged my exclamation — not even the woman sitting next to me. (Come on, lady, the front was mostly empty.) Thank God for technology making hermits of us all. Or my sudden outburst paled in comparison to the shit that could happen and had happened on public transport. When you took long journeys as I did every day, you’d see some real shit in due time, too.

I launched Instagram for the second time this morning (stop judging, Screen Time) and the first time ever with trembling hands. The notifications were real. I approved his request first. My mind raced to recollect anything on my profile that might make him regret his decision to let my piddling photos of food, myself, my cat, and random junk take up precious space on his feed. Nope, couldn’t think about that now, because I was now staring at an actual, honest-to-God message from George:

’Hey! Thanks for reaching out, and thank you for your kind comments. They mean a lot to me, especially what you said about my experimental stuff and wolves. They are stunning creatures, aren’t they? And yeah, I drew that last picture after a particularly rough night. You could call it a self-portrait of sorts, I suppose.’

I snorted. Change the fur colour and make the eyes normal, and it was a portrait of myself every full moon. Okay, not something I could tell someone I just met, let alone a popular artist on the Internet …

Before I could recover from the shock that my inbox held an actual, honest-to-God message from George Holden (that was his last name — the oxygen made it to my brain for me to remember that he had his last name on his profile), he sent another one: ’Anyway, how are you? I took a look at your profile, and it looks like we have quite a number of things in common.’

What, really? No way. Was it the lashings of sweet treats I subjected my stomach to every weekend? The horror and science fiction titles, celebrity memoirs, and comics, sometimes paired with an iced coffee at either a café I put down roots for the afternoon or the one-bedroom house in Waltham Forest I called home, I showcased to put forth some form of air of intellectualism? The cross-stitch projects featuring memes and popular culture icons? His profile was quite barren of anything that could provide insight into what else he enjoyed doing besides his art. Which, hey, was perfectly fine: no one was obligated to share their personal life online.

I replied, ’I’m fine, thank you. I’m on my way to work. Favourite part of my day, really. And really? Like what?’

Most of my notifications that day were from him.

✦✧✦✧

I was a bustling hub of activity in my seat: A sip of my drink. A shake of my knee. A lift of my phone. A turn of my neck. A shift of my weight from one butt cheek to the other. I was certain I was generating enough electricity to power a lightbulb in five-second intervals. I couldn’t help it. I was so, so excited — and so, so nervous. This was my and George’s first time meeting each other in person. There’d be no screen between us. Actually, what difference would that make? We’d been talking to each other for months, either through text or video calls, the latter more common in the weeks leading up to today. We’d seen each other even on our ‘I’ll put on a clean shirt, brush my hair, and hope for the best’ days. What could either one of us do in person that would irrevocably alter our friendship for the worse? Well …

The sound of someone entering the café stopped me from starting on a list of things that I could do to fuck things up. I looked up, probably the seventh time I did so in the last ten minutes. This was on me. I grossly overestimated the amount of time it’d take me to get somewhere as usual; a natural by-product of living far from the city. Seventh — probably — time was the charm: it was George — and right on the dot, too. His punctuality added to his attractiveness, which had already gone through the roof and was heading straight into the stratosphere. I bit my lip to suppress any unfortunate exclamations. He was a friend, Evelyn … just a friend, and I had no illusions otherwise.

I called out to him. He waved at me and joined me at the table I picked out for us. And the second our eyes met, devoid of any barrier between us, everything about him — and everything about us — clicked.

He was just like me.

And I was just like him.

And he was as astonished about it as I was, going by the long silence that passed between us, a first since we got to know each other.

‘Hi! Oh, my God, it’s so good to finally meet you!’ I said with a grin to break the tension. He broke out into a smile, his posture relaxing. Success. Should I go in for a handshake? No, that’d be too stuffy for a months-old friendship. A hug? No, that’d be too intimate for a months-old friendship, and an online one, too, no less. Was it obvious this was my first time meeting someone I met online?

‘It’s good to meet you, too,’ he said, his expression of cheer unabating. ‘I’m going to get myself a drink first, and then we can shoot the shit.’ His smile turned into a grin. ‘Do you want anything? My treat,’ he added as he spotted me reaching for my wallet.

‘I was thinking a red velvet muffin, please.’ I didn’t know why I didn’t get one earlier. ‘Thank you.’

‘No problem. I’ll be right back.’

As he left, my nerves turned into happiness that I met another werewolf. It was rare to meet other werewolves just about anywhere. What were the odds that two werewolves, one of whom was Internet-famous, would become friends because the other one had a brain fart one morning to send a message to the Internet-famous one? You couldn’t make this shit up. In all the years I’d been a werewolf, George was the first one I knew. I didn’t even know the one that turned me. I got bitten one night, and that was my life changed forever. I figured everything out on my own — I had to. And my puny social network of werewolves made sense: this wasn’t exactly the kind of thing anyone would advertise about themselves.

Once George settled down and courtesies were out of the way, the first thing out of his mouth was ‘I never thought I’d meet another one like me’.

I moved my chair closer to him so that we could speak at length about what we were without the fear of being overheard. ‘Me neither.’ Then it hit me, and I quickly said, ‘It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it, though.’ Personally, I was okay with what I was. No existential dread here, contrary to what one might expect of a werewolf. It happened. I learnt to manage it in a way that made it not have any kind of significant impact on my life. I refused to let it define me. And honestly, I lived for particularly bad days that coincided with full moons.

‘Are you kidding me?’ His face lit up with boyish glee. ‘I’ve been waiting for this day for so long! As in, us meeting up in person for the first time and me getting to know another werewolf. Two birds, one stone: the only kind of killing I endorse. And I’m so fucking chuffed it’s you. I always felt like I could talk to you about anything, and now that really, really means anything.’ It was his turn to be able to power a light bulb, but in twenty-second intervals this time.

‘Same. How were you turned?’

‘I was bitten during a camping trip with friends a couple of years back. You?’

‘Secondary school. I was walking home from the library.’

‘Shit, that was some time ago, huh?’

‘Almost half my life a werewolf.’

‘Do you know the werewolf that did it?’

‘Nope. How about you?’

He shook his head. ‘Nah. Kind of sucks, doesn’t it, that you’ll never get to know the person who’s changed your life so … deeply? They won’t remember either that they turned someone. If only having kids was like that, yeah? Absolutely no sense of responsibility whatsoever.’ He gave his teaspoon a lazy twirl, causing a faint plume of milk to rise and sink into the dark, bittersweet depths from whence it came. ‘I struggled with what I’d become the first couple of months. The transformations were one thing.’ Oh, yeah. ‘I felt … grotesque. God, the amount of self-pity, like, why was I the only one who had to go through this every month when there were four other guys ripe for the picking? So, I decided to start incorporating wolves in my art to get to know and reclaim that part of me. I didn’t want to see it as something ugly. I mean, you get to experience a kind of rebirth every month. That’s extraordinary if you think about it. And I told myself that like myself, the wolf didn’t ask to be born. Ha, ha. Millennial humour. Anyway. Then the most miraculous thing happened one full moon: I woke up next to a coherent painting that wasn’t there the night before.’

‘Oh, my God.’

‘Right? My more artsy stuff? The ones I hate coming up with captions for? Almost all done while I was transformed. I’d started some of my art — bet you can’t guess which one — on full moons, too, and I finished them after I changed back. It’s as if the wolf knew we were now cool with each other.’ He took a big chunk out of his apple crumble and jammed it into his mouth. ‘Sorry if that sounded like spiritual woo-woo. I’ve been wanting to tell someone about this forever.’ Crumbs fell out of his mouth as he spoke. ‘Shit, I’m such an’ — he shot me an impish look as he swallowed — ‘animal, aren’t I? Fuck, I can make stupid references like that now, and someone would get it!’

I laughed. He was such a dork. ‘It’s not “spiritual woo-woo”. It’s amazing. How is that even possible?’

‘I have no idea.’ He held out his hands in front of him. ‘So thankful we get to keep our hands and not have them turn into paws.’ He waggled his thumbs. ‘Fuck, yeah, opposable thumbs. And I want to say it’s like when artists get high and make stuff. I do know artists who do that, and hey, no judgment. To them, I do the same thing, too.’

‘And here I am, feeling accomplished whenever I make it through another full moon without waking up in a trashed place. Seriously, that’s amazing.’

‘I think that’s what’s keeping me from losing it while transformed. I was surprised people liked those pieces when I started posting them, considering they’re such far departures from what I usually post.’

‘That explains why they’re so … visceral.’

‘Yeah? I figure you’d appreciate them even more now.’ He smirked. ‘And you know, no one really talks about my wolf art, and especially my werewolf pieces. Maybe if I didn’t make them blurry and made them more explicit …’ Oh, he’d get a different breed of followers altogether. ‘But that’s fine. I don’t want my lycanthropy to define me and my work. It’s just a part of who I am.’

‘My turn to say something possibly corny: I like your wolf art because … they make me feel seen, because they’re drawn by you.’

He put a hand on his chest. ‘That’s not corny. I’m happy my art makes you feel that way. You know I don’t care about the likes or comments. It just so happens I like drawing things that make me get likes and comments.’ He pushed his plate toward me and motioned at me with his fork to try some of his apple crumble. I obliged him. ‘Did you ever suspect anything? Not that, you know, I purposely drew wolves and werewolves as a kind of signal for other werewolves to pick up on. That’d be giving me way too much credit.’

‘No, I just thought you like wolves a lot.’

‘Same here. What you said about wolves being beautiful creatures when you messaged me the first time … that made me feel something, too.’

‘Then I’m very glad we got to be friends,’ I said. Born from the same blip in brain activity that set us on this path, my hand found itself on top of his. His touch had a pleasant, almost familiar heat to it.

‘Me too.’ He turned his hand over and clasped mine.

‘I have an idea,’ I said, mostly to distract myself from how right this felt. ‘Do you want to meet on the next full moon?’

‘Sure. I can’t wait to see what kind of inspiration will strike with another werewolf around.’

‘Your place, then?’

He nodded. ‘Unless you’re cool with me possibly trashing your place with paint and stuff. That hasn’t happened before, but who knows? What if wolf-me doesn’t like change?’

I stared at him in disbelief.

‘I can’t help it. You have no idea what kind of beast this has unleashed. Oops.’

We sat and talked in the café the entire afternoon; we took turns treating each other to food and drinks to justify our occupancy. Our conversation moved on to other topics besides the one special, biggest thing we had in common. Just like we didn’t want it to define who we were as people, we made a promise to each other, and we did so over a strawberry custard tart, that we wouldn’t let it become the foundation of our friendship from this point on. It’d be unfair to the moments we shared before this. We were friends because we cared about each other, we brought out the best in each other, we could truly be ourselves around each other, and, honestly, I didn’t think anyone else would have the patience for his goofy in-jokes.

✦✧✦✧

I lay in front of the fireplace, rejoicing in the warmth it offered on this cool night, while George was working on his newest painting. Since getting to know each other in these forms, we’d been able to exercise better control. For me, that meant greater peace of mind; for him, that meant a more refined grasp of his artistic sensibilities. As with much about our condition, we didn’t question this. What could possibly be a drawback of us spending more time in each other’s company? I now understood why animals curled up by a fire was a common sight in media and real life, too. Wait, what if this, and not George’s presence, was what I’d been missing all my life?

My tail wagging like a fiend when I felt his breath on my skin begged to differ. I licked his face. He gently parted my lips and slid his tongue onto mine. Our tongues engaged each other in a playful scuffle; the fire crackling in the background could only dream of coming close to causing the rise in temperature in the pit of my stomach. The tussle between our tongues didn’t get to turn into something more: he’d had a long night. I nuzzled him to convey reassurance. He lay down beside me and wrapped his arms around me, his hold firm yet tender. We fell asleep like this, keeping each other warm long even after the fire had died out.

We wished each other a good morning with a kiss — no, two kisses, and we got ourselves ready for the day. As we were having breakfast, George piped up, ‘Do you want to see what I painted last night, love? I’m really proud of it, and I think you’d love it, too.’

I nodded excitedly, my mouth too full of scrambled egg to speak.

He returned as quickly as he’d left the table. His hands held on to a painting … of me curled up by the fire last night. The figure was the clearest, most detailed he’d ever done; the lighting was phenomenal. ‘It’s beautiful,’ I said, tearing up a little, frankly. ‘I love it. It’s going to look so good in our new place’, along with the recent paintings he’d made of a similar nature. He’d come so far from the gauzy forms that once populated his attempts at capturing his — our — condition on canvas.

‘Of course, when I have the most stunning model.’ He gave me a peck on the cheek. ‘I love you, my muse, my mate.’

[arpwrites]

[Tarot!BTS] Birthday Spread for Min Yoongi’s 2020-2021

© | Disclaimer! | Tarot Masterlist | Commissions | Tip Jar Do not repost, modify, or translate without explicit written permission.

To celebrate Yoongle’s birthday, I will be doing a special spread to see what the upcoming year has in store for him. Hopefully, it’ll be a guide to how we can best support and care for him.

Read my disclaimers for fullest understanding of this reading’s implications!

Previous Year in Summary

Rx. The Hierophant, Rx. Page of Chalices. Yoongi’s past year was one where he experienced a loss of control and structure. It forced him to be less of the rigid INTP he is and gave him some adaptability skills. The system failed him in some way. I speculate it’s BigHit tying up or censoring some of his projects. The previous year is also when Yoongi became more comfortable letting go and giving his inner child room to breathe, as well as being more emotionally vulnerable. 

Past Year’s Lessons

Knight of Pentacles. Yoongi re-learned how to appreciate the magic that made his life possible. Suga’s immense success has made him dependent on the things that have carried him so far. He got used to the riches and fame and love. The most wonderful parts of his life began to lose meaning and became a blur, devoid of gratification. However, he pulled back and gained perspective and is now once again sensitive to and grateful for the blessings in his life.

Upcoming Year’s Aspirations

King of Wands, Rx. The High Priestess. Yoongi wants to fuck 👏🏽it 👏🏽up 👏🏽. He wants to cement the claim to his throne in the hiphop/rap scene. He has a lot of projects in the works and his goals are very lofty. Cough Grammys cough. He is passionate and determined to get there, there’s a whirlwind energy surrounding it. He also seems to want to repress his subconscious/psychic side? I find this interesting considering what the Solar Return Chart I did for his birthday said.

What Empowers Aspirations

2 of Pentacles. Yoongi can reach his goals if he plays the game right juggles projects and responsibilities correctly. He’ll likely have to be resourceful and adapt to situations. His ability to multitask will be his greatest asset. Interesting that this is exactly the lesson he learned the previous year. We had a glimpse of it when he saw his chance and went to shoot his shot with Ben Winston on the James Corden show 😂

What Blocks Aspirations

The Star, Ace of Swords. Letting himself dream too big will leave him dejected if things doesn’t work out, as will brainstorming fantastic ideas that are incredible on paper but cannot (should not?) be executed. Yoongi's success has given him access to incredible resources but sometimes things that are expensive... are worse. He needs to ground himself and not go too far too fast.

Relationships and Emotions

Knight of Chalices, Rx. The Hermit. Interesting!!!!!!! He’ll be going out of his comfort zone and loosening up a bit more. He’ll be more in tune with his emotions and put himself out there once the solitude he prefers turns to loneliness. 

Career, Work, and Finance

Rx. 3 of Swords, Rx. 7 of Cups, Rx. 9 of Wands. Yikes, looks like it’s going to be tough for him on that front. Yoongi’s upcoming year will force him to deal with the misperceptions and disillusionments he has surrounding work and his workaholic habits. This is again echoed by his Solar Return Chart.

Health and Well-being

5 of Pentacles. He’ll be very drained and tired and burned out. Perhaps not physically, but mentally and emotionally. It’Il be his own doing, he’ll work himself into exhaustion and be glad he did it. Hopefully the boys will knock some sense into him. 

Spiritual Energy and Inner Fulfillment

King of Wands, 8 of Cups. The fog surrounding the psychic, spiritual, and subconscious parts of himself will clear and this will play a role in expanding his career. I suspect he will come to some sort of breakthrough or realization that will then be expressed in his music. It’ll be an approach to his work he has never done before and it will be a journey of self-knowledge. Rather than be repressed, looks like his psychic/subconscious side will lift him. 

Main Focus for Upcoming Year

The Fool, The Moon, Rx. The Devil. To not have tunnel vision and focus on just one thing, to be adventurous and try new things, to find his soulmate.

Most Important Lesson in Year Ahead

8 of Cups. The dissolution of his misperceptions surrounding spirituality, his psychic/intuitive self, and his subconscious.

Overall 12-Month Destination

King of Chalices, Rx. 9 of Chalices. To become a balanced, spiritual, generous, compassionate man who is emotionally mature and doesn’t shy away from feelings. This will likely happen through hard lessons/circumstances that will involve disappointments and underachievement. 

A/N

In summary, considering my astro post as well, it looks like Yoongi’s upcoming year will focus on the work-life balance. It’ll be a point of contention for him, things may come to a head with his family. The way he overworks himself is no longer sustainable and that will make itself evident by manifesting in his health. It’ll lead him to take a step back and try different things, not set his goals too high. He’ll explore spirituality and pay more attention to his love life, as well as his family and friends.

Apart from supporting everything he puts out like we usually do, looks like the best way to help him will be by letting him relax and take all the breaks he needs. Actually, forcing him into it because let’s face it, he isn’t likely to voluntarily take a break on his own. Also by being cool about his dating life if anything surfaces. 

Some tea: 

I’ve said this before but I’m so! sure! AgustD 2 was made ages ago and BigHit is stalling it from being released!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m ready!!! feed me

This year is going to be the beginning of Yoongi’s serious interest in finding a romantic partner, I’m so excited for him and hope he meets someone who makes his heart flutter 💓

A past reading used the Knight of Chalices to represent how Yoongi gets loud and sloppy when he’s drunk. I feel like his loneliness will be a realization he arrives at when he’s like that, or maybe that’s how he meets his partner 😭😂

The Moon in past readings has referred to the type of love Yoongi wants. He wants something intimate and forever and deep. It’s very pure and gentle and I love that that’s who he is 🥺 

If you enjoyed reading this, please support me by interacting with this post through likes, replies, or reblogs. It tells the algorithm that my work is valuable. So, it’s a meaningful way to let me know you want more of the same content from me.

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts about this post. Let me know if you have any questions 🤓

Bonus: Relevant Discussions + More Yoongi Palooza 2020 Posts

Sources: Image from the Nonno photoshoot.

© | Disclaimer! | Tarot Masterlist | Commissions | Tip Jar Do not repost, modify, or translate without explicit written permission.

[thegristforthemill]

It's the End of the World As We Know It And I Feel Fine (And You Can Too)

Image Credit Michael Smith, Circa 2008

The Ending Is Trending

Although it's been over 30 years since R.E.M. stormed the airwaves with the campy hit, It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine, for some reason, it keeps playing in my head. Who knew back in the blissful '80s that this could have been the anthem of 2020? The year brought more than we could have imagined, pandemic aside- social unrest, conspiracy theories abound, and of course, the looming end of days.

Our Prepping Past

This is a delicate conversation, no doubt, we are talking doomsday here. But, for me, that's old hat. That's my past. Yes, it sounds crazy- how could the end of the world be my past? Let me explain. For nearly 10 years, my husband and I lived on a 200+ acre property with my family in rural Tennessee. It was our little compound; my parents, grandparents, sister were all safely protected from the world's dangers. We had our own homes, but the property was fitted with a large and fully stocked underground bunker for when the time came. In short, I'm familiar with the topic.

The constant, imminent fear of what was to surely destroy all who were unknowing or unprepared was always present. My father was convinced we had to be ready - there were family meetings to discuss the latest threat to our survival. If it wasn't solar flares, it was the collapse of the economy. And if it wasn't either of those, then the Yellowstone Super Volcano was only a matter of time. Nuclear warfare, natural disasters, alien invasion, or a global pandemic- the list of potential candidates never seemed to end. It was terrifying.

We respected my father immensely because he was remarkable, brilliant, and commanding in almost every regard. I believed everything he said, without equivocation, for years. I would have blindly followed him into a fire. But we didn't all see things the same as he did. This became an area of contention in my marriage; it was the beginning of a breaking point.

The time and energy put towards preparing for doom was not a way to live. It was death waiting to happen, a life of fear. We were surviving, not thriving. While we were so busy worrying about the end, we weren't living in the present. We didn't have lives and certainly not social ones. We were, well, I was, a hermit. My husband went out of town as often as possible until he was just gone.

Our marriage nearly ended. I mean, it was hanging by a thread. We were a signature away from divorce. At the time, having to choose between my family and my husband felt like the end of my world. It was one of the most challenging decisions, but my father actually helped make it. When asked for his counsel, he only asked one question, "what lifestyle do you want?" He knew it no longer mattered if the world was actually to end but what we would do with the time while we were here. We ended up leaving Tennessee and moving to Florida to reset our marriage. There is more to that story, but that's for another day.

Finding The Gold

I'm grateful for the experience, the lessons, even the survival skills. It was a time that showed us who we are and who we choose to be. My father taught me many things before he passed away in 2017. The most valuable, the viewpoint that we get to choose our interpretations; it's all in how we see it.

These days, our doomsday plan consists of getting to the top of the Eiffel Tower, watching with champagne in hand.

I'm not suggesting to be unprepared for emergencies or to ignore potential threats. I share my experience to help those who may be hooked by the fear of it all. I offer another interpretation. Maybe the world is ending, or perhaps it's changing. Possibly what is coming to a close is the world as we know it. Change brings forth progress and growth. It might be time for what we've known to expire and our new potential to arise.

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and proudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

-Hunter S. Thompson

How You Can Be Fine Too:

1. Build Your Bubble

The world is noisy. Everywhere, everyone wants you to agree, disagree, buy, like, share, subscribe, believe, cancel, etc.… We are bombarded with information all day. News, social media, other people's opinions- it's not healthy. It chips away at us slowly. We are so influenced by what we consume that we don't even think our own thoughts anymore; we regurgitate. It is called a 'feed,' after all.

Change your mental diet and manage what influences you. Tune out the external. Take a social media break. I intentionally don't have the Apps on my phone, so it isn't a regular part of my day.

Surround yourself with people that paint your world with vibrant colors. Choose influences that support your well-being.

2. Set It and Forget It

Do prepare for emergencies. Access your situation and determine the level of preparedness that works for your comfort. Ideally, have an emergency fund with several months of living expenses saved. Set it all up, and then forget about it. Move on, sleep at night, knowing you did your part, and the rest is up to the rest. Now go live!

3. Remember the Basic Needs of Man- Keep It Simple

This was pretty evident in the early days of the pandemic - we all scrambled to get plenty of food, water, and for some reason, toilet paper. Aside from that, there's air, nutrients, and light. Then, shelter, which says nothing about a pool, a gazebo, or a guest house. When we stop and boil it down, life is pretty simple. We just make it complicated. If you have the basic needs, be grateful.

4. Watch Life is Beautiful

This year changed us, altered our perspective. We see things differently now. What if we have the power to change what we see regardless of the circumstances? Watch the film Life Is Beautiful (La vita è Bella) for serious inspiration. Based on a true story. If, when forced into a Nazi concentration camp, Guido can create a game out of the holocaust for his son, then we can make something out of anything.

5. Burn It All Down

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Janis Joplin sang, "Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose." Let those words sink in. We have to put it all on the line, release all attachments to people, things, expectations, and the image we or others have of us. When we can let go of all of this, then we are free.

As scary as it was to leave our life in Florida before moving into the ole R.V., it was also liberating. Getting rid of the stuff, the headaches, the bills, the trappings of a life in SoFL….stripping ourselves of everything we thought we knew to go on a journey of discovery. The song Burn It Down by AWOLNATION motivates me to throw caution to the wind and say F*ck it all.

We are here one time, and who knows for how long. What are you waiting for?

Learn more about our journey @ www.theodyssee.com

[wanderingaunt]

Where'd You Go, Robin?

This is the first post in my 30-day blog challenge.

Oh look, Robin seems to have disappeared again.

No one actually realizes I’m gone.

Those are the voices I hear in my head as I think through getting back online. My thoughts are very judgmental. I often create fake scenarios and conversations about myself or what I think others are saying about me.

That’s my queue to take a step back.

Honestly, the virtual world was getting to be too much for me. When COVID began to spread throughout the U.S. in March, I found myself feeling pretty grounded and focused. It was the first time in 2 years that I had stopped to slow down. I was in Dallas at my sister’s and learning to adjust to suburban life for a change.

Slow down.

That’s normally not a phrase I say. Yet, the more I learn about my Human Design and how I’m wired, the more I recognize this to be part of who I am. According to my Human Design, I am a 6/2 Manifesting Generator. Manifesting Generators can often be perceived as flighty or non-committal. We like to try things on before we know if it’s going to be a fit for us. The 6/2 identifies the part of me that is a hermit as well as a role model. As I look back at my life over the past 2 years, I can see this pattern unfolding. I am free-spirited and tend to do life at my own pace. Sometimes my pace is consistent and steady, while other times it’s slow as molasses. Sometimes I’m out in the spotlight while other times, I’m going deep within and tuning out everything around me.

While I was settled in Dallas, I found myself adjusting to being in one place. When Stay at Home Orders began, I took it as an invitation to settle in and focus on my work and completing my Retreat Leader certification as part of my yearlong coaching program with Darla LeDoux. I was feeling pretty great and proud of myself for actually focusing and having a routine. As someone who moves around quite a bit, routines are few and far between.

As May approached, I realized that the coursework due date for my certification was fast approaching. In true Robin fashion, I waited until 2 weeks prior to May 2nd to complete 4 months’ worth of assignments. I thrive off of deadlines, yet I don’t always embrace that about myself. I hunkered down and became laser-focused. I completed my work on time and only had a couple of assignments that I needed to redo. I continued to press through and show up fully.

Completing my coaching program became my focus and refuge from the craziness happening with COVID. Yet, my focus was quickly pulled back as hardship came upon my family.

On Mother’s Day, we received a message from my Mom that my Dad was in the hospital with Severe Sepsis. My Mom called an ambulance to take him to the ER earlier that morning. He spent a week in the hospital and came close to death. Thankfully, he survived and has since made a full recovery.

Soon after that, the terrible tragedy with George Floyd happened. I found myself consumed with social media activism—posting and sharing content on my feed, signing petitions, reading, and learning. And then within a week of that, we received the news that my beloved cousin, Clint, had died of cancer at the young age of 44.

My nervous system went into shock.

Another aspect of Human Design is that it shows which channels you have open. I have many open centers and as a result, I’m highly sensitive or in other words, an empath. An empath is someone who is highly aware of the emotions of those around them, to the point of feeling those emotions themselves. Empaths see the world differently than other people; they’re keenly aware of others, their pain points, and what they need emotionally. When I’m not conscious of protecting my energy, I can literally feel the weight of the world. When I go into overwhelm, I retreat into my cocoon (hermit phase).

2020 has been an extremely difficult and unexpected year for the entire world. For me personally, there’s been a lot of change, heartbreak, loss, and regret. As a nomad, I went from the freedom of traveling the world to being confined to one spot; in February, I ended a relationship with a man that I love and have had to deal with the regret and heartbreak from that decision; and then with COVID and all of the anti-racism movements happening, my system was in overload. After my cousin died, it was the final straw for my emotional well-being. I found myself distant from my friends and family and unable to maintain healthy boundaries or communication.

I knew it was time for me to go inward and tune out for a bit.

"I was becoming more and more of a hermit. It's not so much that I was running away from something, I was running into myself."  -- Michael A. Singer, The Surrender Experiment

I rented a car and headed west to Colorado for a personal retreat at the beautiful Six Eagles Haven. It was the first time I had left Dallas in 4 months, and ironically it was the last place I traveled to prior to COVID. When I was nearing my arrival, tears fell upon me, and I began sobbing and yelling uncontrollably.

I was having an emotional breakdown.

The breakdown lasted for at least 30 to 45 minutes. I was near panic mode. I showed up at the retreat center completely exhausted and emotionally drained. I knew I was in the right place to come exactly as I was and that nothing was wrong. I knew I was safe. My coach, Allison, was there to guide and support me through this time.

My emotional breakdown, while painful, was the start of a magical journey for me.

Six Eagles Haven is such a special place and has created many profound experiences for me. Each week there will be a movie night where Randy (Allison’s husband) will select a movie for us to watch. He selected Where’d You Go, Bernadette. I had seen this movie earlier in the year while flying back from Africa, yet this time I felt connected to the main character. The movie is about a former architect named Bernadette played by Cate Blanchett. In the movie you witness Bernadette go through her own life crisis. She’s distant, always starting and not finishing projects, and unable to cope with the real world. Without going into much detail, Bernadette has lost her art and power to create. She gave up creating, which in turn caused her to give up on life.

I found myself relating to Bernadette. I was born to create, and I’ve been resisting that part of me for far too long.

One of the main reasons I went to Colorado was so I could have access to nature and hiking. I got up everyday and lost myself in the woods. I am a explorer at heart and love going off the beaten path. One morning I woke up and decided I was going to climb a mountain. I walked into the kitchen and told Allison that I was going to hike Mount Garfield. Allison looked at me and asked if I was looking for a challenge.

Yes, a challenge is exactly what I need.

Be careful what you wish for. ;) I had looked at the reviews and had read that it was a difficult, hard, and challenging hike. I’ve been on several challenging hikes before, so I figured this wouldn’t be too big of a deal. My ego laughed at me when I thought this.

“What is My Mountain?”

This is the question I contemplated as I was climbing Mount Garfield. This climb caused me to confront how I go about challenging situations and embrace the part of me that wakes up and declares, “Today, I’m going to climb a mountain.” When I made it back to my car, I felt so accomplished and on fire. This was exactly what I needed. I needed to remind myself of how strong and capable I am. I needed to remind myself that I thrive off of challenges and need my own mountain to climb.

The next day as I was taking my daily walk within the labyrinth, I got a download. Every time I enter the labyrinth, I set an intention for my walk and open myself up to signs and answers. This day, I asked Spirit for guidance around the question, “What is my mountain?”.

Spirit: Write 30 blogs in 30 days.

Me: 30…? How about 15?

Spirit: No, 30.

Me: 20?

Spirit: No, you asked for a mountain. 30.

Me: Gulp. Okay, 30…

This is what happens when I try to negotiate after I get a clear message. I’m not as great of a negotiator as I think I am… The call to write has been with me for over a year now. I have dismissed it again and again. I’ve enrolled others in my writing a book, yet, I’ve been in major resistance around actually starting. I’ve come up with every excuse and avoidance tactic. Even though, I keep receiving the call in meditation to write. Even though my oracle cards tell me, “Get thee to thy desk and write!” Even though others ask how my writing is going…I allow time to pass by and wait for tomorrow to come.

So here is my mountain: 30 blog posts in 30 days.

As with most challenges I take on, starting is the hardest part. I sit in resistance for a while and then over-analyze each word and sentence I type. I erase, write again, and repeat. I have no idea where this challenge will take me or what topics and words will be uncovered in the process. I trust the guidance of my higher self and Spirit to guide me. I trust that whatever is meant to be written will be written. I trust that answers to many questions I hold will come to surface.

Where’d You Go, Robin?…You’ll have to read to find out.

I invite you to take some time to sit with the question “What is my mountain?” for yourself. Really sit with it and listen. What shows up for you?

Ways You Can Support the 30 Day Blog Challenge

I would love your support during this challenge. While I am taking on this challenge for myself, I trust that you will identify with my writing and read the posts that you are meant to read.

Subscribe to my newsletter so you receive posts on a daily or weekly basis.

Donate to my work. I’ve been writing this blog for 3 years now and produce all of my content for free. As an artist and creator, writing is my outlet for being fully self-expressed. Your support provides encouragement (and pays the bills) to keep going. <3

Share with your network. If you are inspired by my writing and this challenge, I’d appreciate you sharing it with anyone you feel will benefit.

Comment on the posts that speak to you. I’d love to hear your thoughts and learn which topics you relate to or identify with.

[delcat177]

Text in captions, if that won’t read on text to voice please let me know <3

This is a half-year old, but I only paid Blobs Magician to help me out once and I’m fresh out of delicately painted acorns and he gave me commission rights so I’ll be tipping him a ziploc bag of goldfish later

I feel awkward writing about all of this--there was a bit of jealousy when I got my hyst (not projecting, I was told flat by a trans friend), and I worry that I may be making other people feel alone, anxious, or less-than in their gender by talking about it.  If you feel that at all, please, stop right now.  Don’t look in the mirror, because mirrors are scary. Like, really scary, they have ghosts or stuff probably, but also in the genders sense, so instead, look in your head.   Look at your self.  It’s in there, because it is you.  What is happening to me now is a shell upgrade, a hermit crab moving domiciles.  I was a boy once, then a young man, then a oldman, and now I’m a oldman with a society man shell.  Never mistake the shell for the crab, go “hey crab, I like your shell, I hope you find the perfect shell, because you are the perfect inhabitant” and celebrate that crab.  Because we are all crabs, and we are all beautiful, and we all deserve the shells that reflect us as individuals, and anyone who says otherwise can fuck off into a spiny urchin bush and not have a shell.  Or.  Something.  Did I say I felt awkward?  I AM awkward.  But anyway, drive-in movie totals and such after cut, potential TMI, and protect yourself love yourself, you lovely crabs <333

 (with cut ‘cause longtext is looong)

(ORIGINAL POST)

Alt-text: I'm always the last one to know

so uh

I'm a blithe idiot and somehow never processed or dared to dream that this was possible

which makes the timeline look SPECTACULARLY dumb but I was going through SO MANY LIFESTYLE CHANGES

HYST DATE: SEPTEMBER 28, 2016

2017: Me: Man, living in the townhouse has really amped up my leg game, all that up and down stairs.

Me: I'm down ten pounds since the hyst! Megan: That's probably your natural weight. Me: That or getting there.  Not surprising, I'm not feeding the beast constantly.

Me: *punches Megan playfully in the arm* Megan: OW goddammit Del that hurt like SHIT! Me: oh my God I'm sorry I didn't mean to! Megan: It's okay, just be careful! Me: That's so weird I'm sorry D8

Me: man is it just me or am I good in bed lately? oh right I'm the only one here...I guess it's because I'm more confident?

Me: ghghjh my hair's thinning out at the temples, well been expecting that one for awhile, at least it waited for 30

2018:

Me: Holy shit, the stairs plus the shopping is paying off!  My thighs are HUGE!  I wonder if cracking a watermelon with these bad boys is hyperbole.  I bet I could though.  I BET.

Me: Down to 162 and holding, fuck you past doctors!  I just needed ENERGY goddammit!

Me: Wow, I've lost a lot of weight from my face especially.  That makes me super happy.  Anyway better pluck these stray hairs.  ...have I been yanking these more lately?  Getting old is weird.

Me: (struggling with shorts) Megan: Do you need a belt? Me: I'M WEARING A BELT (lifts shirt to reveal belt double wrapped around hips) Megan: Well then Me: I just need to buy new shorts, my ass is just GONE Megan: In the meantime maybe pay attention to what underwear you have on Me: yeah thank God for boxers

Me: My acne scars are heck of acting up.  I wish I hadn't picked at my face so much as a kid, I guess the pores are just kinda fucked, I've read about that happening.

2019:

Megan: New shorts look good Me: I am so bad at shopping Megan: At least you have them now Me: I'm an assless chap is all Megan: Go to bed Del Me: It's four in the afternoon

Me: My throat feels so *thick* lately.  I haven't been hitting the vape that often, why does it feel weird?  And why am I noticing my own voice more?  I NEVER notice my own voice, I make a point of it.  Am I subconsciously pitching it lower like I used to do talking on Skype because I'm more socially active?  What is my brain I'm so AWKWARD Me: UGH I'm falling back into derma habits, I haven't picked in my face in years, I think I need to change cleansers.  But...my face looks...good?  I guess I had this hiding under that baby fat all these years.  ...I guess? Me: Am I getting a hump from my bad computer posture?  Shit. Me: Oh no, it's not a hump, my shoulders are starting to put on muscle!  That's a relief.  That must be from the...laundry?  Carrying...laundry?

AUGUST 5, 2019: Me: (lying in bed) 2 + 2

Me: wait why am I putting on shoulder muscle now?  I've been doing laundry for years, and it's never done that.  And my legs didn't get this buff with a routine job where I was walking three hours a d--

Me:

AUGUST 14, 2019:

New Endocrinologist: We'll test your levels to make sure it isn't a pituitary gland issue or (some syndrome I've already forgotten the name of), and it could be because there's some small element of testosterone in the estrogen replacement, but the brain does produce androgens.  We can definitely look into switching you to T if you want, but if it's facial hair you're worried about...well, once the follicle is there, it's there.  These are irreversible changes.

Me: No on that then but irreversible,, like,, what I have now,, is forever,,,,,,,?

New Endocrinologist: Forever, and I would expect to continue to see muscle gains if you work out.

Me:

welcome to my second puberty please be aware it apparently involves as many mood swings as the first one but i'm tryin'

Since then, it’s been continuing confirm, confirm, confirm. 

My acne turned out to be little follicles growing in odd places--not fullblown hair, just enough to irritate the skin while it was developing. Tiny tufts of 1-3 entirely white, downy hairs have popped up in a few places on my breasts.  The real fuzz proliferation has been in the southern quarters--with all delicacy, there is no itch like the itch of hair beginning to grow anywhere sweat can proliferate, and I now understand why cis men scratch privates in public.  Having NOT gone through a unified social experience with a peer group accepting of such measures, I am sure there is footage on grocery store cams of someone with an agonized expression walking like he has a weasel down his pants and worrying that 30 is early for hemorrhoids.  Both have settled in for the most part, leaving me with a very fluffy, barely-there peach fuzz mustache that’s only noticeable in the right light, some spare hairs across my chin and neck that I keep in order, and a profound relief that I prefer boy shorts and swim trunks.

I went through a few weeks of being especially rank despite all the showering and was worried that was my new normal, but apparently T sweats be like that, and I’m back to smelling like...whatever I smell like, probably lavender with our fabric softener.  I experienced what I believed was a relapse a month later that turned out to be a false positive--specifically, our thermostat was slowly dying and frog-boiling us until it got hot enough that my sister also went ���dear God it is a sauna in here”, leading to replacement of the faulty element and another notch in the “my life is dumb” bedpost.

My face bonebs, which I frankly expected the least out of (when I wasn’t expecting at all), have slowly but surely been rearranging, a visual effect doubled by the much faster redistribution of fat.  I honestly have no idea how this one works.  I know more about dead bonebs than live ones.  I would doubt it if I didn’t have pictures to back it up.  I would say it’s easier to look in the mirror now, but I already stated my opinion on mirrors, do it too much and a skeleton will pop out.  It WILL.  My brain tells me this and it is never wrong about fears and or phobias.  Don’t do it kids.

If there’s been a single most beautiful moment so far, it’s been getting back into Steven Universe after a long hiatus, opening my mouth to sing the opening like I did years ago, and realizing all at once that I was singing falsetto.  I ran it back, dropped a register, and the first names I sang became those who would believe in me most.  There were tears, and later, showing it off, there were fierce hugs.  (Yes, the first ep I watched once I realized was Stevonnie, and YES GARNET GOING “GO HAVE FUN” wah)

I can’t begin to express the validation--I am no gender essentialist’s data point, this is MY experience and no one else’s, but I keep going “my aunt had a hyst and didn’t transition and I had one and I am because my brain makes androgens my brain makes androgens MY BRAIN MAKES ANDROGENS IT HAS BEEN MAKING ANDROGENS ALL THIS TIME IT HAS BEEN TRYING” and living in that, living in “not even SCIENCE is against me”, which is a tremendous thing as a scientist.  (As a scientist, I would be a blithering dullard to claim this is the only thing that affects or proves my gender, and I do not.  Again, TERFs fuck off.  This is simply a very validating thing to me, personally, in my experience.  I’m not thrilled that I have to underline that this hard dammit internet.)

What lies ahead is...I don’t know!  I thought I was done changing, but the post I saw that nudged me to finally do this on here went “you may stop being able to cry for awhile” and this is Important because I have been trying to figure out if I have Sjogren’s but apparently I have androgens which is slightly easier to pronounce.  I’m not sure how I feel about that, because transitioning is a lot of “I’m not sure how I feel about this” and then things being okay.  I would definitely say that the more I learn, the easier it is to feel steady and normal, which is important because the mood swings have been REAL.  This is more than I asked for or bargained for, but I still only have one regret, and that’s that my hyst scars are just slightly asymmetrical and it Bothers Me, but even that is growing on me.

I don’t know how to end this post.  I love you all to death, and I hope if you’re seeking transition, you find it and twenty dollars, and if you’re not seeking transition, you still find twenty dollars.  Thank you so much for you and all you do and are.  Remember--you are great!

Unless you’re truscum.  Then this post isn’t for you (dammit Internet) and you can fall off a boardwalk onto a dead fish.  Have fun with that!

hekk

[fbwzoo]

Hello! I've seen your wonderful crab posts and figured you'd be one of the best people to go to. I've been put in a weird situation. My roommates got me a hermit crab. I'm aware that they require a lot of care; however, he is currently living in the fish bowl that they provided me with with a sponge, some shells, a little plastic house, and generic crab food. What is the most immediate way I can provide him with good housing/food/stimulation until I can save up for something better?

Ooof, that’s a rough situation, I’m sorry! :/ But I’m glad you’re aware of their care needs and want to improve things for your new crab!

Okay so housing first thing. Plastic totes are your friend! They’re cheap, easy to get, and will work great for a temp enclosure for a few months. If you can, get one that’s at least around the size of a 10g tank, but a bit bigger will be better & easier to set up - think 20-40g size. Make sure you get a lid with it, as you’ll want that to help hold in humidity for your new friend.

On the plus side, substrate is pretty cheap for these guys! Play sand is the bulk of it, and usually you can get a 50lb bag of that for $3-8 at a hardware or home improvement store (Lowe’s, Ace, Home Depot, etc.). Depending on the tote size you get, you’ll need at least one, maybe two bags. Make sure you buy it from inside the store if at all possible - outside sand is more likely to end up with mold or fungus spores in it. If you can, get a brick of Eco Earth to mix in with the sand. You’ll want to add water to expand it, let it dry out for a little bit, then mix it in. The loose stuff in the bag works fine too, if you’d prefer, and doesn’t need water added to it. You want around 6″ of substrate, at least, so your crab has plenty of room to dig.

Enclosure decor - This can be pretty cheap & easy! You can use some tupperware containers for water pools - they should be deep enough for your crab to submerge in completely. Make sure they have a way to climb in & out though. Plastic cross stitch canvas is really good for this & costs like 25 cents a sheet. I prefer to double up the bowls - this way you can leave the bottom one in place (in case crab is buried around it) and just take the top one out to change the water. 

Hides and climbing stuff can be a lot of things. Coconut hides, tupperware with holes cut in them, ceramic plant pots, etc. Climbing stuff can be  cross stitch canvas, coconut mats, fake plants, wood, etc. http://www.hermitcrabassociation.com/ if you check out the Crabitat Conditions, DIY, and Pictures sections on there, you should be able to get some good ideas for these things! Just be careful as some things are more prone to becoming moldy, like hay/straw, twine, some types of wood, & such.

You can get cheaper fake plants from dollar stores & craft stores, just be careful that they don’t have glitter, small plastic pieces (like berries) that will come off, not painted, and the dye doesn’t leak when you clean them before putting in.

Heat & humidity - Make sure the tote is closed up & that will help keep heat & humidity in. Larger water bowls will help add humidity, and so will bowls or piles of sphagnum moss (which you can spray carefully, don’t spray the rest of the enclosure so as to avoid flooding substrate). You can add air stones/bubblers to the pools to help boost humidity as well, but the equipment for that stuff can cost a bit more unless you find it secondhand. Small fish filters can work too, but in both cases, you want to be careful that water isn’t splashing out of the bowls a lot, which is a flooding risk.

For heating, you’re really better off spending the money on something better right now. Pet store heating pads aren’t great, IMO, and most of them are meant to be stuck on & not taken off (which can break wires & turn into a fire hazard). http://www.reptilebasics.com/ultratherm-heat-pads are the best heating mats IMO, and can be attached to the back of the tote with tape (I use packing tape) and then taken off to be used on another tank. They can also be safely insulated with cardboard or styrofoam to help increase temps. It’s best to use them with a thermostat, especially if your room temps vary a lot. But tbh, I don’t have mine on thermostats as crabs do okay with some temp fluctuation within the proper ranges (as opposed to other animals that need stricter temps to avoid overheating/injuries). Put the heating mat on the back of the tote, above the substrate line (or as much above as you can).

For measuring temp/humidity, these are my favorite gauges currently - https://www.amazon.com/AcuRite-Humidity-Thermometer-Hygrometer-Indicator/dp/B0013BKDO8/ It’s best to have it hanging from the lid or at least set in an empty bowl or something to keep it off the substrate (which can alter numbers).

Food & water - Crabs need both fresh & salt water. Both need to be treated for ammonia & heavy metals. Prime is what most people use & that little bottle will last you ages since the dosage is only 2 drops per gallon (or for less than a gallon). For the salt water, you want to get Instant Ocean salt, not the stuff sold for hermit crabs (which isn’t complete). Same thing, that box will last you a while! Word of advice, it’s worth splitting it up into single use baggies/containers when you open it, as moisture gets in immediately & turns it into a big brick pretty fast. The amount for that is ½ cup for a gallon, you can make a gallon at a time & then dose it with the Prime when you put it into the tank.

For food….Toss out the commercial stuff. You can often feed them bits of stuff you eat, with no spices/additives. Fresh/frozen fruits & veggies, raw or cooked meat (shellfish must be cooked though), stuff like that is good for them. The HCA forum I linked above has safe & unsafe food lists. I also like the Facebook group Land Hermit Crab Owners Society, and they have safe/unsafe food lists in their files as well, if you join. 

Since they eat so little & fresh foods go moldy fast in the humid heat of the enclosure, a lot of people feed dry foods, which can be left in for a week. There’s all kinds of things you can get from the pet store & grocery store, so I have a post about what you can get & where here - http://fantasticbeastsandhowtokeepthem.tumblr.com/post/163525780954/hermit-crab-food-shopping There’s also a post linked on that one to my nutrition post, which explains more about what they need in their diet!

Also uhhhh if this isn’t too weird, feel free to message me off anon & I can send you some food stuff if you want! I hoard crab food & have a lot of some things because I buy in larger packages (like the supplement type stuff, worm castings, green sand, etc.). I’m sending out a food package to someone else soon as well. I can’t give food to everyone (unfortunately), but I would like to help where I can! But no worries if you’re not comfortable with that!

And lastly, shells. Here’s a good post about types of shells & where to get shells - http://fantasticbeastsandhowtokeepthem.tumblr.com/post/135316962746/hermit-crab-shell-guide-on-shell-types-and-buying I will say that I would highly recommend going to Joann Fabrics if you have one around you, or other craft stores. You can often find cheaper usable shells there. Joann has this awesome green shell pack that has tons of green turbo shells that I’ve bought at least 5-6 of. If your crab is the right size, that could be perfect! Other than that, I really like Naples best for making sure you get the sizes you want.

I think that’s about it, just a couple other things I wanted to mention.

First, once you have things set up for your little one, it’d be a good idea to get them a friend. Crabs are social & live in large colonies in the wild, so it’s really recommended to have at least two. If you don’t want to get another one from the pet store, check Craigslist, or else check out the LHCOS adoption program - http://lhcos.org/adoption-program-beta/ 

Second, if you’re really not sure you’re able to take all of this on, that’s okay! If you’d rather see if someone who already has things set up can take your crabby, you can check the above link for someone in your area, & submit a form to place your crab for adoption.

I hope all of this helps and isn’t too overwhelming! Please feel free to ask if you have any more questions or if anything is confusing. The LHCOS Facebook group is really helpful as well, especially for new owners! Good luck!

[nanowrimo]

Escape the News Cycle and Focus (With Help from Your Guilty Pleasure Movie Characters)

As November approaches, you might be struggling to find both the time and the mental energy to write. One of the most distracting (and often disheartening) impediments to your writing can be the endless news cycle. Today, author, editor, and writing coach Kendra Levin shares some tips from your favorite guilty pleasure movies on how to focus on your writing next month:

The news cycle has become the addictive reality show we love to hate (or maybe just hate to hate), and it’s easy to feel like skipping even one day of it means missing crucial information. The idea of unplugging from it entirely for a whole month might seem a bit unrealistic. On the other hand, to do NaNoWriMo this year, you’ll have to find some way to partly disconnect from the endless stream of media. But in a world that is increasingly full of extremes, is it even possible to “partly disconnect” anymore? Four favorite fictional characters show us how to set boundaries for November so you can strike a healthy balance between news junkie and hermit in the woods.

1. Make a declaration of your priorities for November.

Inspiration: Bridget Jones from Bridget Jones’ Diary

As powerless as we often feel in the face of the news, one aspect of our lives we do have agency over is how we spend our time and how we expend our energy. Before NaNoWriMo begins, take a little time to set your intentions. Think about the month ahead and consciously rank your priorities: what’s essential, what’s important, what’s optional—and bucket everything else as, at least for this one month, “unimportant.” You may want to post this ranking somewhere close to hand as a continual reminder.

2. Limit your daily (or weekly) allotment of news consumption—and be specific.

Inspiration: Cher from Clueless

Instead of giving yourself free rein to read, watch, or listen to the news, ask yourself the following questions: How many minutes per day do I want to consume news media during NaNoWriMo? What will help me be most focused on my writing: to consume news before, during, or after my writing hours for the day? What media sources do I want to limit myself to during the month of November? Use your answers to these questions to set boundaries you’ll stick to.

3. Turn the dial on your social media WAY down…or turn it off entirely.

via GIPHY

Inspiration: Andrea Sachs from The Devil Wears Prada

It’s a platform for self-expression, a way to communicate with friends and strangers, and a legitimate source of behavioral addiction. It’s also a giant time-suck and a constant reminder of the most dramatic and most anxiety-making aspects of the day’s headlines. Need I say more? For the next month, back away from the feeds. Your novel (and your psyche) will thank you.     

4. Don’t get burnt out, get fueled!

via GIPHY

Inspiration: Bernadine Harris from Waiting to Exhale

Let’s say you do take a peek at today’s headlines… and your immediate response is any combination of the following: shock, horror, rage, dread, terror, grief, resignation, or something similar. Instead of being dragged underwater by these anguished emotions, how can you use them as fuel for your writing? How can you infuse your characters with what you’re feeling to make these fictional people more real and to fill your manuscript with the crackle of genuine emotion? Turning your reaction to the news into fuel for your art is one of the healthiest ways to process it, for your body and psyche. And it’ll increase your word count.

Finally, when the struggle to find a workable balance between writing a novel and absorbing the ceaseless blows of the latest news feels like too much for you, don’t forget to give your brain an occasional respite. My top suggestion: re-watching a favorite movie.

Kendra Levin helps writers and other creative artists meet their goals and connect more deeply with their work and themselves. She is an editorial director at Penguin, a certified life coach, and author of The Hero Is You. Visit her at kendracoaching.com and follow her @kendralevin. To win a coaching session with Kendra by supporting NaNoWriMo, check out the Night of Writing Dangerously!

Top photo by Elijah O'Donnell on Unsplash.

[shadowgale96]

Them: I kept my hermit crab in the same one gallon travel kennel I bought them in and they lived a whole 2 years! :)

Me:

Here's something a lot of people who get hermit crabs don't seem to know:

"with proper care, your crab can live up to 20 years"

TWENTY

That's a whole extra zero at the end

That's DOUBLE the life expectancy of a dog

There's this misconception that hermit crabs are incredibly low maintenance, easy to take care of pets, and that just isn't the case. In actuality, they are arguably the most abused pet bought in a pet store.

They rarely breed in captivity so every hermit crab seen in a pet store has been wild caught. After being caught they're gathered up and put into a machine that's like a nutcracker and forced out of their natural shells into toxic painted shells that literally poison them. Regardless of this, people keep forcing them in the shells because they think it looks 'cute’.

Hermit crabs are incredibly sensitive animals, and this is almost never taken into consideration when people purchase them as pets.

Basic Hermit Crab Needs:

Tank: They're going to need a 5 to 10 gallon tank for starters. Later a 20 gallon at minimum because they molt and will grow larger.

Substrate: Their enclosure needs 6 inches of substrate for them to burrow in (absolutely no gravel and preferably soil over sand. Eco Earth is always a safe bet). Hermit crabs naturally like to dig, and, when it's time for them to molt, they like to fully bury themselves for days to weeks on end. (DON'T ACCIDENTALLY THROW AWAY YOUR HERMIT CRAB)

Water: All water entering their tank must be dechlorinated since our tap water is toxic to them and will kill them over time. They require a water dish, a food dish, and a saltwater dish. Both water dishes should be deep enough for them to soak in but not drown in, This helps with molting and comfort.

Food. They can be picky eaters too and require a large variety to their diet. Hermit crab food sold in stores doesn't contain all the nourishment they need. Small slices of clean fruits and veggies are good. Bird feed, nuts, seeds are also options. But, it's important to remove foods that could mold everyday.

Humidity. The tank needs to be kept at a high humidity of 70 to 80%. Daily misting are also crucial. Get a hydrometer and be sure to dechlorinate the water before misting. A fogger might also be an option.

Temperature. They need to be kept at warm temperatures of 70 to 80 degrees. A heating pad for enclosures and a thermometer are recommended if the room they're being kept in isn't already within those ranges.

Shells. Give them a variety of clean natural shells for them to switch into as they grow. Be sure to lightly boil the shells before putting it into their enclosure. This cleans the shells. ABSOLUTELY NO PAINTED ONES. This is toxic to them and is detrimental to their health.

Cleanliness. Hermit crabs have no immunity to bacteria. Everything that comes into their enclosure must be sanitary. Most everything in their tank can be cleaned by briefly boiling it in water or scrubbing it down in a mixture of water and vinegar. Many people also recommend keeping chemicals out of the tank when cleaning since hermit crabs can be so sensitive. In this case, scrub the tank down with vinegar water. Substrate should be replaced as well. Overall, their enclosures should be cleaned every 3 to 4 months or as needed.

Social: Despite their name, hermit crabs are very social and hate being alone. They need at least one tank buddy, but 2 (three crabs overall) are recommended on some cites, as they like to live in groups in the wild. Lonely hermit crabs can actually commit suicide by refusing to eat and letting themselves waste away. As long as they're well provided for, and there's not a drastic size difference between crabs, they shouldn't fight and will be very happy to have a tank mate.

Fun: hermit crabs like to dig, climb, and explore. Netting and fake vegetation are good options, as well as other tank decor they can climb on or hide in. Just clean it before adding it to their enclosure. 

Are Hermit Crabs hard to care for?

It depends. If you have them in the proper environment and provide the proper care, they're not hard pets to adjust to. But you must be willing to care for them and understand they are sensitive creatures and have very specific needs.

Before you get an animal PLEASE read up on that animal’s requirements. Now, some people might say "but I asked the store employee, and they said it was okay." And I believe you, but pet store workers are not well versed in the needs of every animal and are often given incorrect information themselves. The PetSmart Care Guide alone is full of bad advice. Which is why it’s important to do your own research.

Some Sources: x x x x x