#2 hours of lost sleep... time to sleep
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it's like "fool me once shame on you" but this time they kiss... get it?
might clean it up later if i have time idk. sorry if the char designs are wrong; i am sitting in the dark with no references. this is really scuffed. i had a spontaneous vision for ep8
#tdp#the dragon prince#the dragon prince fanart#soren tdp#corvus tdp#tdp soren#tdp corvus#sorvus#LOL i always thought they were funny post s3#turns out they might be canon who knows lol#i'm not an avid shipper but this just kinda happened in my head idk#2 hours of lost sleep... time to sleep#lychee's trash art#meant to draw this for a couple weeks but also i've been busy..#it's finals week why tf did i decide to shit this out now
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I’m genuinely so fucking sick of the “you all would have loved it if it was Eddie who made that comment” take.
First of all, Eddie wouldn’t have made comment then, bc he knows how hard it is for Buck to talk about his emotions, & is REALLY good at giving him the space to talk about them, even if he does make jokes, they’re not out of pocket (the coming out scene, anyone? Breaking the tension with a joke & still being supportive without making a joke of his feelings.)
Secondly, even if Eddie DID make that comment, I’d probably still roll my eyes, but I’d be more willing to accept it. Do you wanna know why???
Who was the person that knew the details of what Buck was talking to his therapist about during their emergency session before the Buckley’s visit? Who is the first one they show at Buck’s side when he gets stuck in the warehouse trying to pull Saleh out after learning about Daniel?? Who is the one who was pacing downstairs in the station & making sure Buck was okay after the warehouse, and the one who warned him about his visitors??
Who was the one praying at Bobby’s bedside, right next to Buck in the hospital?
(I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the dude that’s had 10 minutes of fucking screen time that everyone forgot about post s1.)
It wouldn’t have been the same bc TOMMY AND EDDIE ARE NOT THE SAME. They are not on the same level of knowing Buck & understanding when to make jokes & what jokes to make. Your best friend, partner & co-parent of 6 years and the man that you haven’t even called your boyfriend yet are not on the same level of familiarity.
I get that you’re pissed that Tommy is being compared to Buck’s previous love interests (which would be the case, even if he wasn’t just as shitty & uninterested in Buck as a person as they all were) but if you genuinely think that he’s anywhere near Eddie’s level, EVEN PLATONICALLY, then I fear that you have been watching another show entirely, & I encourage you to watch more than just s7, bc that’s the only explanation I can come up with for why this fuck ass take exists.
#911 abc#buddie#this isn’t really about the buddie relationship but I think it’s still relevant#I’m so tempted to tag BT bc I think the ones saying this have lost the entire plot of the fucking show#but I’ve also only had like 8 hours of sleep in 2 days#& have almost had 3 panic attacks since Wednesday so I know I’d probably regret it#911 discourse#hating on a storyline/joke/character ≠ hating on a bunch of fans bc they don’t enjoy the same things that you do#eddie diaz#evan buckley#ryan guzman#oliver stark#this could have been a sweet moment to show Tommy taking care of Buck#but instead he made yet ANOTHER shitty & ill timed joke#Eddie has been right beside Buck through his entire journey with his parents#that gives him the right to joke about it#a man who Buck’s been on 3-4 dates with & hasn’t put any effort into their relationship since he planned the date#that he subsequently walked out in the middle of#does not have the same right#this is genuinely not a difficult concept??#like. think about your bff & then think about a new love interest. would you really be comfortable with those 2 people making the same joke#or would you laugh at your best friend’s & be a little off-put by your new potential love intrest???#anti T*van#I heard that tagging something as anti still shows up on that tag & Im just too tired to fucking fight
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conked out for nearly 12 hours which is really nice on a i slept less the past 2 nights combined level but also i was supposed to be up at 7
#i feel so bad i wanted to do stuff in the morning#i also need to work and i lost an hour of free time for that#also semi related and i know this is an asshole thing to say but i'm so tired of suicide watch#why does it have to be my responsibility that my roommate doesn't try to kill themselves again#i'm not a professional i'm not anything. i spent my field trip checking in every 2 hours to make sure they were alive & doing things#i come home and i can't rest because they're my literal roommate and now I have to exist in the same space#without the boundary of the phone#i genuinely can't deal with this and i feel horrible about it because i'm not the person who just nearly committed suicide#but i AM the guy who was traumatised by having to stop them and who's deeply exhausted by the aftermath#idk#everything is a lot rn. and i feel bad about sleeping in on top of all that. yay#veni veni
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the burnout is real lads . . . . .
#which is to say that i came home and just stared at the wall for roughly 2 hours instead of completing my documents#it was at least validating to get to talk to one of my coworkers today#and hear that they're just as burnt out as i am#and usually have to sit in the parking lot for 4 to 5 minutes before they come in because they just don't want to be here that badly#and it feels hard to admit because this is typically thought of as a passion driven profession#and it's like#neither of us have lost the passion for it???#it's not that we hate our jobs#it's just that we both feel like. we're putting in increasingly more effort week by week but we're just.#no longer getting results.#i mentioned how i feel like my faith in my ability to do this kind of work has just plummeted to zero#not at all helped by my mentor constantly pushing me to go faster and faster but then getting mad when my presentations go poorly#because i went faster or reduced the amount of material or cut the Q and A section down 10 minutes#i just feel . . . . . tired . . . . . . . . . . .#i still need to write three planning documents for tonight#one of which needs to be Really Good because my direct supervisor will be looking at it#but my god#i just want to sleep for three days straight and then stare at a wall for another three#i'm so close to the end though . . . . .#just another 15 of these documents (including the three from tonight) and that about covers my internship#of course then there's also the seminar work and the group project and all the fancy official employment documents#and. the portfolio project (a man screams in agony)#but god . . . . . . . .#so close . . . . . . . .#so close . . . . . .#once i'm free from the portfolio it's back to zola work and THEN . . . . . . . . . .#i can finally have a substantial mental health break for the first time since last may ;;; _____ ;;;
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oh would you look at that it's. almost 4 am. oopsies
#☆ aiden's corner#lost track of time oopsies >_<#my alarm goes off in 2 hours am i done for#who needs sleep anyways....
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every day i spend on twitter, because that's where most of the starmin are, is a day i wish most of that community would move to tumblr just because the way this site works in comparison would be so much better for it. the ability to tag art and be able to find it later on your own blog no matter how far back it was posted. the way you can add on to each others posts. and also i just like tumblers post format much better. especially for making a vague / simple post and then going into more detail in the tags cuz you don't wanna put all that in the main post but like it's there for anyone that wants to read it. on twitter you gotta put it all in the main body of the post and i. do not want to do that
#and rn it's mostly because i am only on twitter mainly for holostars content#and the vtubing community puts a lot of emphasis on keeping things about the vtuber 's main persona#and their alternate / past persona very separate not only out of respect for the person themselves#but also for the other fans that are JUST there for one or the other (usually it's the vtuber persona)#and there's a few people that are like ''hey by the way ill interact with both accounts so heads up'' and that's fine#but i guess i'm still like ''hmmm do i want to have all this stars fanart retweeted#followed by me vaguing about hiraga planning on streaming and then he doesn't (good because he'd JUST fixed his sleep sched)''#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#all in all it doesn't REALLY matter i can put what i want on my twitter but still i wish it were more like tumblr#or everyone could just move to tumblr please#anyway i WAS gonna go to bed at a descent time for a friday night then lizard man said he was gonna stream#but it's been like 2 hours so i think he probably conked out lmao which is good cuz he needs it i think#anyway every day i mourn for all the cool art i retweet that will be lost to the void in a few weeks because twitter sucks ass#i should go to sleep now in case he does stream in the morning after all. plus tavi's doing a music making menshi at like#8am i should try not to miss that too. fucking time zones TTATT#are you fucking kidding me i made this post and like 5 minutes later he went live bRO
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#guess who missed her Fes to Casablanca flight?#and is now on a 4.5 hour train journey desperately hoping to reach the airport in time for her flight to Dubai?#I travel all the time and I’ve never missed a flight#but I guess I was just so exhausted (and heat sick)#that my body put me to sleep last night without me meaning for it to happen#and I woke up 40 minute before my flight was supposed to depart. when the airport is 35 minutes away from Hay Tghat#so instead I got to pack my last few bits in a frenzy and desperately try to find a train that would get me to Casa in time for that 2:30 pm#flight. thoroughly do not recommend carrying a bag that weighs almost as much as yourself#down steep marble stairs with no railing in the dark#or any of this really#totally not bitter about the $88 flight ticket and $45 on extra baggage I lost either#(I will be way worse if I fuck up the entire Middle East travel plan b/c that was 4x as expensive)#inshallah let me get there and let the emirates plane have chargers so I’m not without a way to tell everyone I’m not dead in Meknes#or something#not the stones#me stuff
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I got so fucking humiliated at the skull cavern rn I straight up closed the game without saving omg
#I'd rather go thru all the trouble I got during that day than lose all my stuff to the fucking mummies#WHY WERE THEY SO FUCKING STRONF#the desert festival is as SCAM y'all none of the monsters should be that goddamn powerful#I lost so many eggs you have no idea#the psychic demage was too much I'm traumatised#watch me getting down that skull cavern with 3 times as many bombs and meals as I originally did#it's 3 am y'all this game is gonna drive me insane#I was supposed to sleep like 2 hours ago but the mail announced the desert festival and I had to join#the first day was mid but the second was very lucrative and the third was supposed to be me fucking prime but I got killed#I'mma try again once I'm not so desperate and sleep deprived#laios was so right I got my ass beat going down the dungeon without taking care of myself first#stardew valley#stardew valley spoilers#skull caverns#stardew valley more like strugglew valley
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"i had to surrender my cat bc he's got incontinence issues and i'm just not equipped to deal with that"
i'm stealing your fucking kneecaps
#of all the fucking reasons-#1. that's really not a huge issue to have if you keep your cat home#2. would you give away a child over incontinence issues?? over any health issue showing up?? or was cat just that disposable to you??#like im glad i guess you took him to a shelter and didnt just abandon him somewhere#and apparently the staff might make him their office cat bc they love him#but god#'please be nice' my kindness is me not saying anything to you#im bitching on tumblr instead of the fb group we're both in total stranger#there are times - though not often - where i feel sympathy for the owner. where there really IS a good reason for surrender#but 9 times out of 10 its some real bullshit and i have no patience for that#i love animals to a super sensitive degree AND i lost my best friend (my first cat) unexpectedly in 2021 so yeah im a fuckin dick about this#at least its never to someone's face#its 10:26 AM#i've been in and out of sleep for the last 24+ hours and im tired and cranky and a little nauseous tbh#i was hoping to be a little productive today but i think i might go back to bed#maison speaks
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#it's my first day back at work since it all happened. and um#i'm just haunted by the sadness and resentment i feel about how much time i lost away from our little family last year.#lost to scheduling errors and resting from this ONE 16 hour shift each week#how i had to go straight to my next shift afterward for months#idk man. it feels awful. why didn't i put my foot down? why did i sacrifice my health and my family?#i was going 40ish hours EVERY week without sleeping. then i would crash for 9 hours and go right back to work. for what?#2 days off that i have to spend playing catch up anyways? for that??#and here i am still working it! still compromising. when i know this shift doesn't fit into my schedule or my life or any goal that i have#that it stresses out my partner and it might have killed my pet#like... why am i doing this!
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cass my silly my silly cass you should edit raeda to still into you by paramore
IT'S FINALLY DONE
this song is so perfect for these two wjsjdjjwjskalksxjjdkskdjkd I can't
#let me tell you a thing#i actually did this twice#i did it once and it was quick and a bit boring but it was done#and then i looked at it and went#nope#because it didnt do the song or the pairing justice#BUT GUESS WHAT I GOT IT RIGHT THIS TIME#HAHAHA#<- sleep deprived laughter#also i really need to start doing hw now#ive lost like 2 hours already today#cass talks#cass makes stuff
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In lines I could have said to the boss. Ya know. Other than, "Sir, please put on some pants before I beat your ass."
Anyway! Made it to the epilogue. Which, considering the loading issues I was having previously, this is truly a miracle. Might have snapped if I lost a half hour fight due to media degradation.
#lunar 2: eternal blue complete#time for go to bed#I lost three hours of sleep last night and I was ready to commit murder today
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Y’all would not fucking believe the day I have had.
#haven’t gotten real hard sleep in a couple days#traveling is all fun and games until your flight gets cancelled at 2 am and you have to stay in the airport for hours until the next flight#and it gets even better when said flight involves two connections that put you where you’re supposed to go at 5 o’clock the next afternoon#lemme tell you I had plenty of time to catch up on some artist’s catalogs and organize my IWTV watchlist#OH AND DON’T FORGET the bag they lost because of course it’s lost and not eating at the airport because I’m too tired to feel hungry#did I mention they moved my gate to the absolute fucking farthest possible one?#I looked like goddamn Leonardo DeCaprio in the Revenant trekking over there at 3 am#nothing quite like bugging your eyes out of your skull for fear of falling asleep and missing your flight#all while some bald tatted up dude stares at you and a guy asleep on the floor snores like the busted engine that cancelled my flight
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THIS BOOK HAS ME BY THE THROAT
#I have lost so much sleep the past couple days reading it#and I fell asleep reading it last night then woke up at like 2am and read for another 2 hours?????#like I said: by the THROAT#birthday girl#birthday girl book#penelope douglas#booktok#spicy books#spicy stories#(also side note every single time I hear or read the word ‘spicy’ I hear it in Stefon’s voice 🌚#iykyk#age gap romance#age gap book#forbidden romance#give me an age gap forbidden romance and i am there
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#it's 5:45 am and i haven't slept bc im on my period and the asshole stabbing pains won't stop 🙃#i mean I've only been actively trying to sleep since 2 am but yeah#ohh i just realized i also lost an hour during this bc of the time change
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Tag talk
#hey beans#going old school tag rambles here - not NSP related#just that I might a lil quiet over the next couple of weeks as I 'lost' an agreement with a friend#i agreed back in july/august last year that if i didn't manage to get 6 hours or more of sleep on 2 consecutive nights#across the next 8months then I'd go back to sleeping tablets#(just over the counter stuffs nothing dramatic dw)#i really thought i had the winning side of the agreement ngl but they reminded me this week :/#I also am still training the new person so work hours are long atm#and im almost losing my voice from explaining things#and the added gravel/depth to my voice makes it so tempting to continue fucking my voice up#i wont - but god its tempting#but if im gonna be working the hours i do and actually sleeping Imma have less time to make stuff for here :'(#especially for the first couple of weeks while i adjust to the loss of hrs in the day#Im also looking after my friends cats across the next week and doing boat construction and have a commission to make as well as my 9-6 job#okay it sounds like a lot when you list it but its not really (or at least not when you dont sleep...)#anyway i hope to be able to make some original content for here but i cant promise#sorry Beans#<3 <3 <3
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