#2 1/2 months on t
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U guys ever nut so hard you get a headache?
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I finished reading TGCF 2 and damn, Hua Cheng is really craving gege's buns.
#tgcf#hualian#hua cheng#san lang#xie lian#danmei#I was supposed to buy 1 or 2 books a month#And i'm reading 2 per week urghhhhhh#my bank account T^T#currently being double teamed by TGCF and 2HA
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BAM!
#BAM!#see now its three bams#i love these guys so much!!!#so excited for the next episode man#jimmy you better not have just switched curses with mumbo T^T#anyways moving on#theyre not in the wild life skins because#1. i started drawing this on the first episode over a month ago#2. i am too lazy to edit things up#so enjoy their default skins / not really default cause scar is in a green long sleeve here#WILD LIFE SMP!!!!#wild life smp#bamboozlers#life series#traffic life series#traffic life#trafficblr#ldshadowlady#lizzie ldshadowlady#goodtimeswithscar#solidaritygaming#jimmy solidarity#ldshadowlady fanart#goodtimeswithscar fanart#solidaritygaming fanart#bre4yd art#i hope this isnt a premonition but if it is that would be so funny.#<-see alt for context
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Mmmm just gonna rot 2day
#which may mean lots of drawing who knows#my ass is NOT leaving this bean bag intil further notice#i have a cold 🤧#another interview tomorrow#also had a psych appt today and 1. pharmacy filled my meds wrong so I’ve been on the wrong does#for like. a month.#and 2. he kept telling me to eat more which like i have t even been losing that much weight#been trying to bulk i just. stress#anyway#vent#kind of
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i’m recording voice checks for t every month and these thumbnails showcase my gradual chadification so well
also some body recomp is happening
#1 month vs 2 months vs 3 months on testosterone#some t posting on main once in a while#gender stuff#trans
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Compare yourself to no one but yourself
Pre t, 2 weeks on t, 1 year 3 1/2 months on t
#constantly changing background because I’ve moved a lot the past few years#trans man#ftm#trans#trans guy#transmasc#transgender#testosterone#closeted trans guy#t update#testosterone update#1 year 3 months on t#1 year 3 1/2 months on t#before and after#back gains#lat spread#ftm fitness#trans fitness
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january 2k25 sure keeps delivering, doesn’t it~~~
#(not even counting the closing of the made-to-order mona merch btw)#**nghy canon is here bc the single officially releases on the 17th!!!#***it’s toooootally not bc i just wanted to look at them again ok i promise~~~~~~~~~#but. aaaaaaaa. this is truly the month to lose the precious contents of your wallet…#i hope my vol 2 of the chizuchan manga will arrive with the bonus safely~~~~~ i wanna read the extra bonus comic aaaaaaaaa#t h o u g h ~ ~ the contents of the bonus will be a secret between me and my chizuchan manga folder~~ (provided that it actually comes lol)#bc 1: cleaning is a pain 2: ‘redrawing’ (or at least attempting to) is a pain 3: typesetting is a pain 4: did i mention redrawing is a pain—#im sorry guys i nearly failed art in school y’see~~~~ the ‘c’ in my grades stood for ‘clearly you’re not meant to be an artist’ y’know~~~~#a n y w a y s!!!!! this will be the year!!!! that i finally finish tling idol sengen!!!!! i promise!!!!!!!#(<-was trapped in such a huge traffic jam to the point that the compulsion to clean idol sengen pages was there)#so… if i can get through with cleaning the last bit of it this weekend… i can focus on tling it ~slowly~ whenever i’m free~~~~~~#but aaaaaaa if i go for too long without using my laptop it’ll crash for like 10 times before it finally works like it should…#is the laptop trying to motivate(?) me into tling idol sengen lmao#but man~~~~ the first half of the year is *not* friendly for my wallet lmao#not just hw man… the llss perpetual calendar’s gonna be released in march… and the niji.gaku game’s coming out in… april iirc?#waaaaaaaaaaa i gotta finish idol sengen before april then~~~~~~~~~~ im not gonna have enough time to play niji.gaku’s vn while tling~~~#i gotta work hard and sleep harder ig..#ok back to dinner gn guysssssssssssss
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rewatched atsv yet again a bit ago and having so many pd thoughts.sighs
#vixen rambles#WAS TALKING W CLAV ABOUT THE AU I WAS THINKING OF MAKING A FEW MONTHS BACK#and like. the thing is that ashe will or dakota could fit into miles’ role (wiwi especially because of his intelligence and observation-#skills. he’s really smart). BUT because this is entirely from my brain and unforch i am the number 1 dakota cole brainrotter .#i think that dakota would really fit in2 miles’ place; and tide as his father.#ESP cause of the commentary 2 be given on if capes existed in an au like that or not. and if tide was a hero chasing after a vigilante like-#dakota yknow. AND !!! i think that doug could rlly be like aaron. t b h .#and idk. ashe as gwen because of the strained relationship with father + everlasting guilt complex + color palette + trans allegory ☝️#here’s how spider demonkicks can still win !#(granted mark also strongly reminds me of miguel ? but also not tbh? it’s complicated. BUT mark and tide as miguel and his wife…. ouagh)#and sammy said will could kind of be like spider noir. cause they r both detectives and both have the color palette#but wiwi does NOT have his swag </3. but whatever my aus never closely follow their inspo ☝️#and tbh vyncent would definitely be like. omg what’s her name…#PENNY i think. the girl who’s best friends w her spider and made a little mech suit for it. i think playing w that could kind of -#incorporate the greats yknow? like maybe theyre other spiders somehow bound to vyncent and he’s one of the original anomalies as well.#yknow ?????
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Thank fucking god for doctors who give a shit about your health. I just met my new doctor who is going to be prescribing my T and I feel so relieved to have someone who actually CARES
#to make a long story short. right after I logged off tumblr in may my endo wrote my T script wrong and the pharmacy couldn’t fill it#I spent a month fighting with her office and my pharmacies (2 of them because my doctor told me it was the pharmacies fault)#the entire month of June I was not able to give myself any t injections and I got my period on my birthday#I made 1 phone call to my primary care doctor on the verge of losing my mind and she was able to get my my T within 3 hours#and now the doctor that trains her and her staff on gender affirming care is now my doctor#my old endo that wrote the script wrong called me a liar and her office treated me like shit. I hope they burn in hell#they upped my T dosage and then I had none for a month. you can not begin to understand the emotional whiplash I was having#I really truly do not understand how I survived. there would be days I would be crying and having panic attacks non stop#and now I have a doctor who I can talk to day or night. and not have to worry about a thing#yapping#anyways. I love you my new doctor. I am finally safe#jasperbarks
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some bobbles (+ two unfinished things)
#bonk.png#undescribed#exocolonist#i was a teenage exocolonist#iwatec#iwatex#anyway first thing bc its the shortest i dont think sol would actually id as anything n prefer to be unlabeled#bc of like. the timeloop stuff n every life kind of blending together BUT i think it'd be funny as hell if they were aro#n just never became aware of this bc their self reflection skills in regards to shit unrelated to the loop are That Bad#also im aro n like when characters are aro + love it when characters are kind of deranged about their friends#speaking of which madoka au! forever ago i drew the 🤝 meme with sol n homura n now im coming back to that#its not a 1 to 1 au straight up the commonalities begin n end at ''tammy & sol are kind of like madoka/homura''#stuff i got down for it in a sleep deprived haze were that sol nemmie n tangent were the only magical girls#n tammy hasnt been offered to become one nemmie n tangent arent aware that sol is a magical girl for a while#friendgroup at school is nemmie cal tammy n sol (tangent goes to a different school n is separate until she teams up with nemmie)#nemmie n tang team up bc somehow witch attacks keep being diverted from certain locations n grief seeds are disappearing#which is actually sol's doing theyre moving witches away from areas tammy will be n the grief seeds are to 1. discourage nem n tang from#fighting witches n 2. so sol can stockpile them basically bc they use timetravel a lot n need to keep their gem clean#the timeloop has progress (to an extent) its not a singular month looping its kind of like. video game save mechanics#like reloading the save u have before a bossfight n then if ur not adequately prepared reloading a save u have farther back#n then continuing on until u get stuck on a specific fight again yknow#theres more but moving on to the two unfinished things those are meant to be like a utdr au (specifically dr)#in a similar manner to the previous au of same premise n setting but different story bc theyre different characters#there's a lot less set for this au its entirely just playing in the sand n has nothing beyond vague role assignments#the first one that's like lineart in different colors is entirely scrapped bc i didnt like how it was turning out (meant to be darkworld fit#second one i struggled BADLY with marz oh my god this au is literally primarily for having fun with character designs but oh my god.#as it says there shes meant to be a modern art styled metal monster (got the metal idea from her dads' names n the modern art bc shesrefined#n sleek) but i had no actual idea how to convey that n i was trying to tackle it from a pixel art angle this time n i could notfigure it out#n then nomi nomi was super easy literally didnt even sketch them theyre a tiny pixie im sorry marz T-T#probably not gonna touch on this stuff again cause i was fixing on exo to avoid thinking about my bday but its happened so im fine now 👍
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I’m Infected by the Sound
Pairing: Evan "Buck" Buckley/ Eddie Diaz
Rating: Teen and Up
Word Count: 1,798
Warnings: Alcohol use
Summary: Buck takes Eddie out to a club to let off steam after a breakup.
Events:
@buddie-month 2025 // Week 2 // Club Lights
@fandom-free-bingo //Bug Edition // Like Drinking Poison
#buddie month 2025#Buddie Month January 2025#Club Lights#Fandom Free Bingo#Fandom Free Bingo: Bug Edition#Like Drinking Poison#Paring: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz#Fandom: 9-1-1#Rating: T#Buddie#tw: alcohol#Buddie Month Week 2#Eros-Heartache Writes
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it’s taking all of my willpower not to cut my hair
#I usually keep it short. haven’t had long hair since I was a little kid so#told myself I wouldn’t cut it for a full year#irl#2 1/2 months on t btw :)
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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The past month or so has been a HILARIOUS trainwreck - My new job essentially went bankrupt after my FIRST day, I accidentally grew Datura on my balcony, I have an elusive MRI appointment that keeps getting pushed around, tried to get the limited Hozier vinyl but they only got a payment method I don't have, my friend nearly got snuck up on by a TORNADO cause we were busy playing Fortnite, and I STILL need to fix some of my ReShade presets -
#1) yes my job is done and i worked ONE shift. hoping to at least still get paid KFGDHSKSFGH#2) got a pot of soil on my balcony that i was planning to grow some lavender in but it started to get a random seedling and i was curious#turns out its a Datura plant. It blossomed really pretty and now I just gotta be careful with The Mega Poison Fruit#3) do NOT ask me about the MRI i will chew those MRI techs like a dog toy#4) i was so excited about my little vinyl i was willing to give ALL my money for it MAN.#5) THEY ARE OKAY!! it just is really in character that this would happen to us. whole tornado.#best thing that happened to me this past month is the new EPIC saga being released#lila post#little life update for the ones that wondered where ive been T-T
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My autoimmune diseases are acting up because of stress and moving but I’m moved in now and I’m in need of sustenance and a forehead kiss and cuddles.
#transsexual#ftm fox#5 1/2 months on T#auto immune disease#JRA#juvenile rheumatoid arthritis#AS#ankylosing spondylitis#tired
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Haven’t posted a physique update in a while and figured I’d share one today. I’m just under 2 years on t.
#trans man#ftm#trans guy#transmasc#testosterone update#trans fitness#ftm fitness#before and after#1 year 11 1/2 months on t
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