#anyways. I love you my new doctor. I am finally safe

[jasperyourmutt]

Thank fucking god for doctors who give a shit about your health. I just met my new doctor who is going to be prescribing my T and I feel so relieved to have someone who actually CARES

[strwberri-milk]

Hi, good morning/ afternoon/ evening. I've probably read all of your work on LnD, and I love them all. If it's not too much, can I request like the boys getting a call/update from MC after a disastrous wanderer attack on the city after not being able to contact them?? If possible, established relationship😅 ... thank you for your time!

im glad you like all my writing for them!! im so aefjaweofaw please give me the next main story update - also theres lots of references/imagery of death so if youre not chill w that i will see you tomorrow [salute] - theres also some very very slight references to their myths!! it feels a little ooc to me but thats bc. i think theyd be a little ooc when faced w a tragedy like this!! i hope you like it anyway <3

Zayne holds his breath every time a new patient is admitted. The hospital is busy with all of the patients that are coming in with the disaster, a mixture of those hanging on and people running up to him because he's the closest doctor in the vicinity to confirm death.

He volunteered himself to do triage because he was convinced that he'd be able to stop you from dying, that if you came in through those doors he'd be able to separate his love for you from the mind that studied all those nights but that's impossible - he only got here because of you.

His mind runs circles around himself, almost separated from his body as he tries to figure out why you weren't there. Hopefully it's because you're fine - you don't need medical attention or the medics on site were enough for you. However, he knows there's an equal chance that it's just because a doctor onsite was able to confirm your death and now you were in some bag, stored away with the others waiting for him to come identify you.

When he finally gets a moment to himself he obsessively checks his phone, praying to something that might take enough pity on him to listen at the very least that you'll call him. Minutes turn to hours as he's called back to work. Silence is a commodity now as he's stuck in the theatre, only able to go home after he's exceeded the legal amount of hours he's allowed to work in one night.

The long turned cold water hits his muscles as his mind wanders in the quiet of his home. You still haven't called - nobody's called. He understands that surely, all of you are busy but he's been there when the calls have had to be made. To hear the sobs on the other side of the phone as a squad captain confirms the death of another hunter as they softly ask if they'd like to see the body. He's also seen the calls when the bodies are far too mangled, a sight that no loved one should have to bear. He's waiting for it, almost falling in his haste to grab his phone once it finally rings.

Your number pops up, the letters of your name taunting him as he tries to answer it. He's about ready to throw his phone on the ground from the water on his hand refusing to make picking up the call an easy feat.

"Hello?" Zayne asks, an uncharacteristic shake in his voice.

"Zayne! I'm okay!" you say, voice sounding a little weak but definitely better than he could have ever anticipated.

"Zayne? Honey? Hello?" you ask when you're met with only silence, now beginning to grow anxious yourself. You knew he must have been busy - you were too - and you thought he was safe. He should have been, you'd heard no reports of the hospital being attacked.

"You're alive," he chokes out, falling to his knees.

"Of course I am! Things have just been chaotic so I haven't had enough time to call you until now," you explain, continuing to talk to him.

You hear rustling on the other side of the phone, trying to get his attention again before he cuts you off.

"Where are you right now? Home?"

"Oh - yeah I'm on leave now. Most of us who were in active duty are to let his recuperate. How come?"

"I'll be there soon."

He hangs up immediately, leaving you a little stunned. You decide to clean up a little, having nothing else to do really until he comes over. Zayne never acts this impulsively so you assume that the day with no contact really wore on him.

Once he arrives you open the door for him, planning to apologise for the lack of contact when he almost throws himself at you. You hold him back just as tightly, a little shaken yourself as you close the door after him. You realise that for whatever reason he's soaking, unsure if you should confront that but you decide to ignore it.

He leads you right to your couch, too exhausted to even find your bedroom as he buries himself against your chest. It's not the normal way he lays with you - typically he likes to hold you - but you know not to bother him now. You can't deny you were worried about him too, knowing he probably put in a bunch of overtime at the hospital.

He holds onto you tightly, measuring out the beat of your heart. It's the only way he can remind himself that you're still alive, that the two of you have one more day together.

Xavier has never felt like he wanted to die more than in this moment. One minute you were running with him, trying to stop the Wanderer from attacking the group of civilians the next you're totally gone. Logically, he knows you're most likely fighting a Wanderer by yourself and you can handle it but somewhere he's convinced you'll die without him at your side. You've proved yourself more than capable but he worries about you all the time - he knows how to fight these things, he's been fighting them for far longer than you have - and if you died here he'd have no more reason for living.

He practically goes beserk, tearing into each and every creature with the hopes that one of them can take him to you. With each failure he starts to spiral, standing atop a pile of rubble as he watches the recovery teams start to spread into the city. It practically took an entire squadron to force him to go home, promising him that he'd be the firs t to hear once they found you.

You were diligently following Xavier when you noticed another Wanderer going after a child. You knew that he'd panic once he couldn't find you but you couldn't just abandon them. You tried to tell him you'd be splitting off but over all the screams and screeches he couldn't hear you and you couldn't waste any more time trying to get his attention.

You were able to defeat the Wanderer but not before sustaining an injury that made it too difficult for you to continue active duty, taking the child to a safe spot and staying with them until help arrived. You ended up passing out from the pain shortly thereafter, waking up a day later to Tara in your face heaving a sigh of relief as she called for a doctor to come check on you.

Your body was simply fatigued and after an extra day of monitoring and ensuring you were receiving everything you needed to make sure you wouldn't collapse again when you get home. You nod, knowing what procedure is at this point. You reach out for your phone once the doctor leaves, knowing that Xavier must be worried out of his mind.

You're right, of course. He's laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling as he waits for someone to call him. He saw the scale of disaster this attack was, knows that everything is absolutely awful and he's not the only one waiting for news but every minute that passes is another minute you could be trapped, praying that he's coming there to save you.

He decides to ignore the strict orders he's gotten, suiting up to go help the recovery efforts. He was going bad staying in bed all day, unable to get a wink of sleep as pictures of your suffering flash across his tortured mind. Working on pulling valuables and any remnants of life is depressing on a good day but right now it's downright torturous. He can't help but think that the next thing he pulls out is going to be your hand, severed far from your body.

When his phone rings everything disappears. He quickly picks up, steeling his expression to avoid making things worse should someone look over at him. He doesn't even notice who called him, just hoping that it was someone with news.

"Oh! You picked up fast. Are you just sitting at home then?" you ask casually, so casually he thinks it's almost cruel. How could you act so nonchalant about the fact that you held his life in your hands, that you are the only thing in this world he can bear to wake up for?

"No, I'm helping the recovery efforts despite orders. I...it was too quiet at home," he offers as an explanation and you hum. He can imagine you nodding, tapping your chin as you think to yourself.

"If you missed me you could have just said so," you tease, hoping that the ease in your voice will make him relax.

"Of course I did. Is that even a question? Are you able to take visitors?' You know what, doesn't matter. I'll just wait there until you are. I'll see you soon love."

He hangs up quickly and you know that he'll appear in the hospital within the next two seconds with that uncanny ability of his. You straighten yourself out a little, knowing that you were injured but not wanting to look like a total mess.

You can hear his footsteps running up to your door, slamming it open as he catches his breath. You've never seen him out of breath before - maybe he's much more tired than you initially thought.

"You made it," you laugh, making a slight sound from the impact of him practically jumping at you, holding you tightly as he buries his face into your neck.

"I was worried about you," he says softly, looking up at you. "I thought you'd been hurt, badly. And I wasn't there to protect you."

You sigh, helping him sit down into the chair at your bedside. You offer him your hand which he holds gratefully, never taking his eyes off of you.

"I know. I'm sorry. But look, I'm okay now, aren't I?"

He ignores the pain in his chest, trying not to imagine how heavy your hand would feel in his if you really had drawn your last breath. That weight is far too familiar to him, haunting his every thought in the hours that passed between then and now.

"You are. And I'm going to make sure you stay that way," he promises.

Rafayel didn't even know there was an attack until far after it. He knew you were working and that sometimes, you'd accidentally go MIA. You'd already texted him before your mission anyway and then he got drawn into another project of his and completely lost track of time. It's not until the next day that he finally sees his phone and the message from Thomas telling him not to come into the city for supplies for a day or so.

He immediately starts looking through articles, scouring pages that are constantly updating the death toll in search of your face. He curses himself for not paying attention earlier - every minute he wasted on some stupid was another minute you could have spent at Death's door, all because he allowed himself to forget that nothing matters if it's not you.

It's obsessive the way he looks through all of them, calling your phone non stop all the while. Every time he gets sent to voicemail he feels his breath get knocked out of his lungs, resorting to blowing up your phone with texts. When it's clear you aren't replying he grabs his keys to drive into Linkon despite Thomas' suggestion, knuckles white on the steering wheel as he heads to the hospital.

Even in all the chaos people can't help but stare a little as Rafayel makes his way to the counter, demanding someone tell him where you were. He's really trying not to be a brat, promising you that he'd be nicer to people but when it's your life on the line everything is up for debate. He goes through any and every possibility, figuring out what he can do to guarantee your survival.

Unfortunately for him, he gets escorted out. Jenna tries to calm him down, telling him that he'd be the first to know if they had any updates on you. Right now everything was just far too messy to know anything about anyone and there was a good chance that you were just being treated at a different hospital than usual due to the high causality count. He doesn't take no for an answer and manages to strong arm the name of the other hospitals you could have been sent to, starting up his car again right as his phone lights up with your name.

"What do you think you're doing not answering your phone?!" he yells, making you flinch.

Rafayel's never been mad at you, certainly not to this extent but you know that it's because he's anxious. He immediately catches himself too and you hear it, catching the sound of his hands against his steering wheel as he takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. Just - where are you?" he asks, sounding so exhausted that you feel like crying.

"I'm okay Rafayel," you say instead, adding the name of your hospital. He's immediately driving over as you talk to him, keeping your voice even.

"I was split up from the group is all, then triaged at a different hospital. I'm fine though - I managed to just sprain my wrist from overexertion so I'll have a sling for a bit-"

"You're staying with me then. I'm not having you stay alone with a broken wrist. Knowing you you'd do something dumb and make it worse," he scoffs, trying his best to drive safely to see you again. You don't bother to correct him, knowing that's the least of your worries.

You fall quiet, not sure how to respond. Rafayel has always been good at masking how he feels, rarely showing you what he's hiding behind his mask. Now he's an open book, making it clear that nothing will be okay until he sees you again.

"Okay," you agree, leaning further back into the pillows of your hospital bed. "They wanted me to be released into the care of someone if I could anyway. That's why I was calling you - that, and trying to return all your missed calls."

"Thank you," he says so quietly you barely hear him over the sound of his car.

"Of course my love," you say just as softly. "I knew you'd worry as soon as you saw the news."

Another moment passes between the two of you. Rafayel thinks his heart fell out of his chest - or it would have if it was still his to hold. Instead, it's beating firmly in your palm, only able to do so under your affections.

"Rafayel, I'm really fine, I promise. I'm just hungry. Let's get something for dinner, yeah?" you offer, hoping to redirect his energy.

"Yeah," he replies, exhaling deeply.

"Anything you want my beloved. Just name it and it's yours."

[matthewswifeyx]

One month <3

Requested?- yess! Here <3

Warnings?- Fluff

A/N: Guys this is my first try writing in third person, please tell me if its trash or not! 😅

Y/N and Matt had finally welcomed their beautiful baby boy Conner into the world. He was home safe, sound and settled. Both of the new parents were enjoying their title. They felt extremely comfortable referring to each other as 'mommy' and 'daddy' when speaking with Conner and talking about themselves. The first month went by so quickly, Y/N and Matt had enjoyed every second of quality time they could have with their new addition. It did take them a while to get used to this new lifestyle.

"Matt you put the diaper on backwards!" Y/N chuckled.

"Hey, can you blame me? There are no instructions." Matt laughed with Y/N.

They had worked together and promised each other to talk things out if they are struggling. Y/N recently had been feeling the effects of postpartum depression, but her husband wasn't afraid to be at her side and support her in anyway shape or form.

"I don't why I am feeling so down, I am so happy that we finally can have a family but I just feel a little lost."

"Y/N it is completely okay to be feeling this way at this point in time, we can go to the doctor and get the support you need. We will get through this together. I promise." Matt kissed her lovingly to show that he does care. Y/N knew that he did.

A newborn in the house did result in sleepless nights, but Y/N and Matt did know what they signed up for.

The baby monitor released the sounds of crying from baby Conner in his nursery. It broke both of their hearts that he was in distress.

"I got it Matt don't worry."

Y/N hopped out of bed and went straight to the crying Conner to try and get him back to sleep. She picked him up from his crib and she tried breastfeeding, Y/N has always had trouble feeding Conner. Little did she know that Matt was watching and listening to the events over the baby monitor, he felt so upset for Y/N. He knew that she was devastated when she found that she would have troubles feeding her son.

"Why am I labelled a natural mom when I can't even feed my baby naturally." That comment replayed in Matt's mind. He didn't want Y/N to feel this way again, so he got out of bed and joined his wife in the nursery.

"You doing okay baby?"

"No i'm not. My body won't let me breastfeed." Tears start to sting the corners of Y/N's eyes.

"Baby, you're just tired. I got this one, i'm just going to get a pre made formula from the fridge, okay? Go back to bed and get some rest alright?"

"Okay." She murmurs.

"I love you Y/N." Matt says. Y/N doesn't say anything and walks out of the nursery back to the bedroom. Matt bounced Conner slightly up and down in his arms in a way to quieten him. Matt went over to the rocking chair and tried to see if skin to skin would make Conner fall back to sleep. Matt was already shirtless. Matt took Conner out of his onesie carefully and placed him on his chest.

"It's okay buddy, daddy's here." Matt hushed. He continued to craddle Conner on his chest for a few more minutes and after that Conner had fallen back into a peaceful sleep.

Conner was mostly a happy baby, so when he did cry during the day it didn't affect Y/N and Matt as much. Matt was such a good dad, he knew that the baby couldn't really respond at the moment. But he was being silly and fun with the baby. Matt would never put the baby in harms way. But he would scare Y/N a few times by throwing Conner up in the air slightly and catching him safely.

"God Matt! Don't do that, you scared me!" Y/N immediately took Conner from Matt's arms and held him close to her chest.

"Y/N, honey, I would never do anything to hurt Conner. It's just a bit of fun." Coincidentally Conner babbles quietly in a cute agreement. Both Matt and Y/N laughed at this interaction.

Every since Conner was born, Matt would be looking online for toys and games that they could play with together. Y/N knew that Conner was going to be Matt's best friend. Matt would order the biggest and coolest toys all over the internet. One day Matt would pick up an interactive dinosaur and the next day he would order a jellycat the same size and Y/N. Matt really cared for his child to feel safe and happy even if Conner couldn't appreciate it right now, but being a new father gave Matt a job to make sure both of those bullet points are ticked off the list straight away. Matt would start decorating the play room as soon as he had any free time, Matt had bought a comfortable small couch to put on the corner. he had bought a camouflage backdrop to put behind the sofa, he decided to theme the play room as a jungle. So Matt had bought loads of animal plushies and a teepee tent to put in the corner. Matt had purchased about a dozen of childrens books to read. Matt had also set up some fairy lights in the ceiling to really set the mood.

Y/N couldn't have been more proud and appreciative of Matt, he wanted his son to have the best childhood a father could offer.

Y/N and Matt really tried hard to make sure everything was prepared for Conner when he was able to play and walk and talk. They couldn't have been any better and supportive with one another.

Hey guys! I hope you really enjoyed this fanfic! if you have any suggestions/requests please do not hesitate to send something for me to see and i will try and get back to you asap! <3

Banner credits to @bernardsbendystraws <3

[theoldoor]

I sometimes ask myself (WIP FOR THE REF SHEET BELOW)

“Khang!! Why don’t you ship Aventio/Raturine/Golden Ratio??? Theyre literally YOUR kinda trope! You��d die for the same troupe and you cried over multiple other ships that has the same dynamic!!”

And i do ask myself what is it about aventurine and dr ratio that separates them from the other ships of the same trope that i would defend with my life, but after months and months of wondering “why do i feel like theyre awfully platonic” “why cant i see them romantically like the other ships of the same trope” i have come to an conclusion that dr ratio and aventurine hits too close to home w me and that one bro that i love with my life platonically and i am projecting onto the two of them

And also Dr Ratio is ugly

But anyways back to oc x canon shit ft. My genshin oc from 2020 - prof. Solias lehto of engineering. He was made for sumeru before the region was released…. …

Sol is basically borderline ruan mei, he dgaf, he is putting himself in 20 pounds of radiation if it means he makes a new weapon for fun. He wanted to ascend to an archon-hood through mechanical works or some shit, fucked up humanity and is working for the fatui, making them weapons yadayada for the fun of it and they allow him to.

He occasionally visits the quarters to distribute his silly little gadgets for testing (he made sure it was safe before putting to test) and thats when he met childe and they became best buddies because makes weapons x uses and breaks them and theyre both insane so it works i guess. And he learn first aid + pursuing medicine in Sumeru just so that he can tend to childe’s wounds because test subject + he cares for him.

Despite this, he doesnt agree with Dottore work ethics as he has a personal moral code for humans. He would never test dangerous things on others, he would do it on himself. (Learnt it the hard way after he accidentally lobotomized his twin brother)

Same pose… same almost dynamic… two different games… im cooked….

.l…..

Ok back on rambling, here’s some post-talia fenrir.

He was Dr Ratio’s student to gain the elementary foundation before heading off to pursue linguistic and literature. He would earn a doctorate pretty soon after cuz he lowk a freak with languages and now he’s teaching alongside Dr Ratio too. They are not in the IPC together, but the organization that Fenrir is in often collab with the Intelligentsia Guild so basically, he’s the honorary IPC member.

Fenrir sometimes nag the doctor to let him join the Guild, even threatening with the invitation from The Riddlers (he did join them but Dr Ratio doesnt know yet)

The students under Fenrir does noticed a competitive undertone/tension between the two doctors, but not many knew about their past together. Its a funny thing. They would often compare their students achievements for fun too.

the strict teacher x the teacher people thought were a student

God i want them dead too theyre like evil eifenturine

As a token of thanks, Fenrir dedicated almost 89% of his research to the Avgin-Sigonian dialect for Aventurine and chose to study the language as his dissertation. It was a little funny thing as people keep seeing ihm around the strategic investment department trying to butter up aventurine and was like “what the fuck is this guy doing here bro” and bawm in like 4 months or smth a piece of linguistic and archeology research was birthed

I dont know if i want it angsty or not, but for this i’d want aventurine to be happy that his heritage is finally being recognized and. He’d often tease Fenrir by repeating some of the rambling that fenrir always repeats when talking to Aventurine in Avgin-Sigonian, like little mumble

“okay so avgin sigonian has two diphthongs… from the way he’s speaking they’re normally in stressed syllables… hmm…. And they make morphological alternations with the mid vowels /e/ and /o/….”

This is a joke doodle, THIS IS A JOKEEEE

[lara635kookie]

I didn't even watch "WISH" yet because in my country it will only be available at january, but people are saying it's a bad cliche so I probably won't watch at the cinema.

The thing is, even though I am a hopeless romantic, not everything has to have romance. There are princess who are perfectly fine without a prince, like Mirabel, Elsa, Merida, Moana and Raya(I do kinda like the idea of Raya with a girl, just not Namaari). But we were so robbed of seeing Asha and the star boy(he is literally a staR so I don't doubt Disney would call him StaN or something like that, so his name is Stan from now on, I am gonna call him like that, is easier than star boy). Asha and Stan had the potential to be the next Tianaveen and Rapunzel&Eugene (I don't know their ship name). The concept arts are the cutest thing I have ever seen. Also "At All Costs" (bop) would have been a love song between the two!!! Them singing it man. The pain I will feel when I don't see them passionately sing it, very "I see the light" coded, in the actual movie. Somehow, now is not feminist for a strong female character to have a male partner by her side. Like...This doesn't make sense! You can be a strong female character and have a man at the same time! Have y'all forgotten Mulan and Shang? Anna and Kristoff? Ariel and Eric? Jasmine and Aladdin? (There are more examples and I could go on all day, but you got what I meant already) I hate Disney for throwing good ideas at the trash and playing safe just for money(like Hobie Brown/Spider-Punk said "it's a metaphor for capitalism"). And as the guy looked blonde with blue/green eyes in the arts I have seen, and Asha is a black latina, they lost the opportunity of having a biracial couple ACTUALLY DONE RIGHT (Pocahontas and John Smith don't count, he is a collonizer with the most common name in the world, she deserves so much better). Like, if the thing is show how inclusive you are by having a black latina female protagonist for little girls to see and feel represented in a good way, you could have increased that feeling by making someone fall in love for her. Little girls would feel like they are beautiful and desired/desireable in a positive way and that they worthy of being loved and love and be with whoever they want to be with, even someone who has a different skin color.

I am also mad because we could have seen Disney's first evil villain COUPLE with King Magnifico and his wife, the queen(still don't know her name, sorry). Can't you guys imagine the HITS, THE FIRST PLACE OF BILLBOARD HOT 100 WORTHY songs, they would proportionate us? Even if only one song, it would be enough for me. But someone thought having a female villain would be anti-feminist and they discarded an original and authentic idea, which is what Disney built its empire on the first place. Come on Disney minorities don't want to be portrayed as those unrealistic superior beings, they want to be portrayed as real human beings with emotions, struggles, qualities and flaws. Having an iconic female villain like you guys always had(like Maleficent, Cruella De Vil, Ursula, Mother Gothel, Lady Tremaine, etc) and set her up with an iconic male villain(like Gaston, Doctor Facilier, Shan Yu, Jafar, Hans, etc) it would have been top notch, god tier. King Magnifico and the queen could have been like the Gomez and Morticia of evil. You could address so many topics by it. Like the kingdom being ruled by evil would have been a great social critic of some politicians out there, for example. And we could have had an iconic final boss battle between Asha and Stan VS Magnifico and the queen.

Anyway, what I mean by this is that if someone has fanarts or just ANY CONTENT, of Asha and Stan, tag me, reblog this or comment, I don't care, just warn me, because they are my new obsession. I will also write a fanfic about this movie with these ideas, but only after I have watched the movie so until them, please feed my hyperfixation in Stasha (Star boy/Stan×Asha), I'm begging y'all

[blooming-violets]

Hiiii, I am in love with your writing!!!! 😍😍Can I get a tasm peter parker fic with this prompt?? Thank you

"42. braiding the other’s hair"

A/N: They didn't actually get to the hair braiding but they, at least, talk about it.

-

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?"

Peter leapt off the nursey floor to grab a giant box out of your hands. A half made crib lay scattered in his wake.

"You know you're not supposed to lift heavy things," he chastised you. "Did you carry this all the way up to our apartment? Have you gone insane?"

You chuckled, knowing his over protectiveness would only continue to grow once the baby finally arrived. "It's fine, Peter. Mr. Johnson across the hall carried it up for me. All I did was bring it from the front door to the bedroom. That's about thirty eight steps total. I think I'll be okay."

He tossed the box carrying your new stroller onto the floor and fell to his knees in front of you. His breathing steadied as he focused his hearing, placing his ear directly against your large belly.

"Stop trying to listen to the baby! She's okay! Walking a couple steps isn't going to damage her," You swatted him away. "Your hearing isn't perfect and it always makes you panic. Remember last month when you claimed you couldn't hear her heart beating anymore? What did we do? A trip to the emergency room at 3 in the morning, for what? Nothing. She was perfectly fine. I'm not trying to explain to the doctor that my husband is scared because he thinks he has super hearing."

"I do have super hearing," he sighed, hopping back to his feet. "Well...sometimes. It's not a perfect science and I might have overreacted once or twice."

"Once or twice, my ass." Your eyes travelled over to the stroller box. "Can we put it together now? I want to see what it looks like."

Peter looked from the half assembled crib then back to you, "Absolutely not. I'll get the parts all mixed up. Next thing I know, we'll have a crib with wheels attached to the bottom."

You widened your eyes and pouted out your bottom lip, silently pleading with him.

It only took a solid two seconds of staring into your face before his shoulders sagged in defeat, "Okay fine. Let's do it."

You sat on your new glider chair, feet propped up on the footrest in front of you, while you watched Peter put together the stroller. You opted to help but he insisted you sit and not move. If you'd let him, you were fairly certain he would willingly carry you everywhere. The less your feet touched the ground when you were the pregnant, the more relaxed Peter was.

He huffed with frustration as he attempted to pop a wheel into place.

"Why does it feel like you need a degree in rocket science to put all this baby shit together?" He grumbled.

His eyes lifted to meet with yours, all the annoyance immediately draining from his face, only to be replaced with a glowing smile. It was like you feel the love the radiating out of him. The man adored you, there was no question about it.

"As long as it's safe, it's worth the extra effort I think," you smiled at him and held up your phone to show him what you were currently shopping for. "Look at these cute bows. Do you think it's too early to have a bow collection? I'm tempted to buy them. I hope she let's me do her hair when she's older. Think of all the cute hairstyles."

Peter's eyes widened in fear, "I don't know how to do girl's hair!"

You laughed under your breath, "It's okay. You'll learn. I doubt she'll actually have do-able hair until she's much older anyway."

"No!" He whined, the panic already setting in. "I need to know now! What if something happens to you and I'm left alone with her? Who will teach me? I don't know to do anything. She's going to be all mismatched and raggedy with unbrushed hair. I'm going to be a terrible single dad..."

You sat up, putting out your hands to stop his spiraling, "Hold on, try not to immediately jump to my death, please. I'd prefer to be alive in your visions of the future. I have no plans on dying any time soon." You hoisted yourself out of the chair and waddled over to him, offering your hand down to him. "Get up. That's enough baby assembly for tonight. We can resume it tomorrow. I want to sit on the couch with my husband and watch Supernanny. It gives me hope to see so many terrible parents and know that we won't follow in their footsteps."

He took your hand and pushed himself to his feet, hiding his face into the crook of your neck, "Am I going to be a bad dad?"

"No," you said it with conviction. If there was one thing in this world you truly believed, it was that Peter Parker would be a wonderful father. "Are you going to love our baby unconditionally? Are you going to do everything in your power to make sure she has a happy, safe environment so she can grow into a companionate, caring young person?"

He nodded, giving a muffled grunt into your neck.

"Then you will be a good dad. Come on, I'll teach you how to braid my hair as we watch tv. You have spider DNA. Something tells me you'll be a master at weaving strands together."

[docholligay]

Mrs. S by K. Patrick

I think this is a great example of a book I did not like, that I think is somewhere between decent and good. This is Finnegan’s Wake for pathetic lesbians. It is admittedly hard for me to get into books with this narrative style, but I absolutely can: I like Cormac McCarthy who pulls the same bullshit. But admittedlty, I feel like the payoff has to be higher when I need to go on a search and find to figure out not only who’s talking, but if someone is talking, and not just thinking. It is, however, pretty well written if you allow for the Joycean nature of it all. I wonder if the use of style isn’t some way to try to elevate (and it may not be, it may simply be a reflection of how young the author is and the way this style is often mimicked in Creative Writing Doctorates all over the world) what is a very basic erotic plot: 

It’s about a sad lesbian who hates herself and then fucks an older woman. 

But Doc, I thought you said it was good! It is! It’s well written and it fulfills the brief and it occasionally gets in something that is interesting. I loved the ending! But all in all, this book is for people who are not me, but, I wouldn’t call it bad. Maybe I would call it a touch surface. 

sppilers below

I am only very rarely interested in a lesbian who is pathetic and wet, and only if they are pathetic and wet in interesting ways. She’s just a 22 year old who hates herself and needs a new binder, I have huge tits and wear a binder, and I never need to adjust it as often as she does. But of course, someone will yell at me, it’s about her insecurity with her own body and that’s fine but I just don’t love insecure baby lesbians. I am too old. I have the normal lesbian tension with gender but I just like, do not care. And most of what I would call my larger community is old lesbians who just don’t care. We are all the Housemistress. (Who I did like and found necessary! Because then I don’t have to be like, ‘This is the way the author thinks lesbians are’ because it’s a clear it’s the character’s problem) I find the level of self-assessment exhausting and boring. So this book was never going to be for me! 

It doesn’t help that she has ZERO self-respect. Up until the end! Which I loved! I screamed! Yes, fucking finally! I mean, i have more…I don’t think the word is SYMPATHY exactly, but I thought it was bonkers nuts crazy to expect her to have not married her husband and just run off and be a lesbian in her youth. I mean, jesus fucking christ. Exceptional people exist but they are rare, and I say this as a person who DID actually leave home and run up against it in order to live the way i wanted. Most people WILL NOT DO THAT. But you don’t get to be safe and fuck nasty, so, Mrs. S, this is your own fucking fault and your problem. 

Anyway, I LOVED the Hosuemistress and I thought she was the best fucking character in the book. The book wrought large was not for me, but it totally makes sense to me why people like it and would recommend it, and overall I would call it good.

[maribatz-2k]

Day 4: Baby Girl

Sitting in the middle of the living room of a small apartment sat a man with messy blueish black hair. He was leaning forward restless as he adjusted the camera consistently before being satisfied with the position and held the remote. He was wearing a pair of black jeans and a red button up shirt running he hand through his hair he finally looked to the camera exposing his blue eyes.

"hey baby girl." He starts out. "I know you haven't met me yet, but it's your dad." He paused for a second to breath. "Look, I love you from the moment your mom told me she was pregnant. The moment she showed me those two little pink lines. Every morning I'd kiss you and mom good morning. And every night I'd kiss you both good night." Another pause before he continued. His voice begining to soften.

"Each week your mom would show me photos of how big you might be inside her tummy. Today you're the size of a pear. You're getting so big." The man pauses it. He returns a week later wearing a green Tshirt that says "coffee is power" with a squirrel running on a wheel.

"Hey baby girl, it's daddy." His voice was excited as he speaks. "Mommy told me you began to move around. I didn't believe it until you kicked me in my back one night. You're growing so big already and you're not even here. You and mommy are incredible." He picks u othe camera and walks into a room finding a raven haired woman at a table sewing a plush blanket. She looks up and gives a happy wave then leans up to kiss the man.

"Hey you. We just heard some amazing news. The doctor says you'll be here soon. Daddy can't wait to meet you princess. You're uncles are just as excited that they overwhelm mommy from time to time to feel you move. But that's okay. Mommy is a tough lady, she kicks their ass." A smack was given from behind, landing on the back of his head. The raven haired woman had walked behind him with a pickle in her mouth and the jar in her left hand. "Don't repeat that word. 'ass' is a bad word." Another smack followed by a "Tim!"

"Hey baby..." He began, wearing a black tshirt and his hair was just not even combed. "Mommy isn't doing too well. They said that you will have to come early in order to help you and mommy out. But she's fighting with the doctor. She doesn't want you to come too early so you have a chance to see everyone." His voice was soft as if trying to hide the tears that try to escape. His eyes. Another voice calls out being heard in the recording but unable to understand the sounds.

"Hey baby girl it's mommy." The voice was chipper but also held sadness. She sat on the bed in the hospital, repositioning the camera on the food tray to get a better view. She sat up abit more exposing her baby bump that looks to be no more than 30 weeks. The hospital gown just draped over her body.

"I want you to know I love you so much. You will be a beautiful little girl with so many people to love you. They are all waiting here for you." There was a long shaky breath before she continued. "Mommy won't be able to see you when you come. But if by chance I do, it would make me so happy to know you made it safely. Baby girl, love your daddy with all your heart. Forgive him for a while as he raises you. He'll be learning along with you. Don't forget, it you need help, you always have your family who will be there. And I am always a prayer away to listen." Tears welled in her eyes, trying to contain them. Someone came in and turned the camera off.

The camera turned back on again to the man previously holding a baby wrapped in a pink blanket. The man wasn't too sure if he should be recording but he did it anyways.

"Hey baby girl, mommy got to see you. Let me tell you she gave the most beautiful smile." He adjusted the baby as she begins to grow fussy. She now laid against his shoulder patting her bottom as he bounced her in a tired state. As he "shh" the baby someone else walks in and waves to the camera.

"Hello little Emmy. It's your Uncle Dick. I'm the oldest of your daddy's siblings. I plan to teach you as much gymnastic acts as possible and take you to do so many fun stuff with your cousin Mar'i." He smiled brightly as the camera catches the younger man roll his eyes. Another man walks in just a bit taller than Dick and pluck the baby from the tired one.

"Hey mini pixie. I'm your Uncle Jason. The coolest uncle out of the siblings." He gives the baby a cheesy grin as he lifts her up in the air gently making her giggle. Another man walks in just about as tall as Dick but more leaned out. His eyes were almost a dark green.

"Hey little one. I'm your Uncle Damian. Youngest of the group but the strongest." He winked at the camera showing a side he never has to anyone before. His brothers looked at him with jaws dropped as he moved to take the baby from Jason. The men all step back to circle the tired on, who just looks like he's ready to go to bed and not want to wake up. An elderly man dressed as a butler walks in sending a wave as an older version of Damian walks in with a woman.

"Hello sweet baby girl, I'm Grandma Selina and this is Grandpa Bruce. Besides us is Great Grandpa Alfie. We love you dearly and can't wait to teach and watch you grow to be a wonderful woman we know you will become. Your mommy left us just as quickly as she arrived. But we will always see her in you. If you ever need us we will be there with you even if your daddy just gets annoying." She gives a soft chuckle then moves over and sits next to the tired man, hugging his shoulders to her. Bruce moves to the other side and hugs the young man before reaching for the baby from Damian. It was almost a perfect family portrait moment. The camera turned off with everyone smiling happy smiles with sadness in their eyes.

@maribatserver

[textingtroublesanswers]

*sniffling and teary eyed, I look up from Bug's shoulder*

Wh-*sniff* what did the entry s-say about his... Ludwig's deal... again? Something about protection? *sniiiiiifffff*t-there was somethin' bout an ambulance too, but I, *sob, hiccup* I can't make any sense of it!

*face returns to Bug's shoulder, hugging them tighter*

-🦖

Bug is shushing you, trying to be as comforting as possible.

"Spy, take a look again, lad. Maybe you missed something."

Jacques looks over the entry, then the next entry, & the next, until finally one seems to yield some sort of result, "July 1946, I turn 38 tomorrow & yet I feel as if no time has passed since my deal with Satan 4 years ago. I have a hypothesis that the deal, & my subsequent meddling with the occult, has slowed down my aging. I cannot prove this, however, until I grow older & see if that is truly the case."

"The war in Europe ended last year, & I'm glad about that, but I've been plagued by nightmares ever since. I see hellfire, I see my father & stepmother, I see myself as this masked persona I have created, & I'm scared. But then I wake up & the fear disappears, as fast as it arrived. One dream, however, won't let me be, & it leaves me shaking & sweating when I wake up. One of these days Mitch, the Heavy, will hear me screaming in the night & will barge into my room when I'm unmasked. I can't have that, he might recognise my face from the newspaper, & then he might turn me over to the authorities. They will never believe me that I killed General Somerton out of self defense, how could they when I am who I am?"

"Anyway, my dream. In it, I am accosted by those thugs again. They shatter my violin & rip open my grandfather's grimoire, & as I fight back one of them shoots me. Unlike in real life, I don't manage to kill all of them, & they run. Someone calls an ambulance for me, like in real life, but there is no Satan, there is no god, & no one comes to drag me away from the scene before the police & the paramedics arrive. Sometimes my wounds kill me, although the position of the gunshot wound should not be able to do that. I hate it when my dreams are medically inaccurate, I didn't study for five years for my own mind to disregard that."

"Sometimes the wounds don't kill me, which is the worse option. My mind skips over the hospital, & the prison, & the deportation, but it lingers on the camps, & it lingers on the sight of my father in prison rags, even though I know he died before he let them drag him away. I see him there, with a face like death itself, & he is smiling at me, welcoming me into his open arms. He asks me how I enjoyed America, if I enjoyed the hunger, the pain, the fear. He asks me if I missed the cushy life I led in Germany, as the daughter of a famous doctor, instead of living as an outlaw & a vagabond away from my home country. He mocks me, all the while smiling at me & telling me how much he missed me. Telling me the sweet things my father would have never stooped low enough to say."

"My deal with the Devil ensures that I won't be deported, that I won't be found as long as I don't bring attention to myself. I've since talked to other demons, made sacrifices in blood & bodies, done everything so that I may survive in this pointless war over gravel. All my days are filled with the anxiety & fear over someone figuring me out, finding out who I really am. It's worse than when I lived with Vogel, & I hate it, & the dreams won't let me forget. But, thanks to my deal, I am alive & safe, & when my contract is over & the next poor fool takes my place, I will be able to get out of here & do something I actually love. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to get my medical license back, maybe I'll be able to practice medicine & actually live without fear."

"My contract is up in a year, & I don't know what I'll do when I leave BLU. I never want to work for Mann Co. again but they pay so well & they provide me with protection. We'll see, we'll see. For now, I have a new formula for sleeping meds I want to try out. Hopefully, tomorrow, it will at most make me face Heavy's wrath, & not Satan's. Alright, that wasn't funny, but I do hope it doesn't kill me or make me oversleep again. The lock on my door can only take so much before it breaks."

[v33n4-c4rn1s]

"LOSS OF MY LIFE."

veena lambert x mare torres

angst..ANGST

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:··:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

Silence. Deadly, spitting, silence.

It filled up the room with soundless horror.

Mare sat, hunched over on the bed. Rune, his beloved pet kitten beside him, primrose perched on her back, her wings wrapped around the smaller feline's body, His mask was laid out on the pillow beside him.

He had been through a lot, at just 18 he'd seen the brutal reality of life. He had lost and loved.

But nothing could ever compare to the void left in his heart.

A void she has left him with.

He remembered it so clearly, He remembered all the sounds, the room, her.

How could he forget? how could he forget the lips he was so familiar with, from the usual shade of light pink to almost purple. How could he forget the face he'd study for hours, painting and drawing. She was his muse, his love, his everything.

She didn't want to go, she was frightened. He held her hand, He kissed her head and told her she would be alright.

But she wasn't.

He remembered the doctors forcing him home, how could he sleep when she was like this? she was alone, cold, frightened.

and she died that way.

He remembered the phone call he received, the gentle voice of the nurse informing him on the events of the night, He took the news hard, He knew she was scared and he left her anyway. He let himself get forced out the door, pushed home and onto his bed.

He cried. He cried until he physically couldn't, choking on silent sobs, reaching for the nearest thing he could, a sweatshirt. Her sweatshirt.

Even now, a week later he was still struggling, of course he would, he had just lost the love of his life. He wanted to marry her. They should have been, but it was all too late now. Their future dragged down the shore by the tide of time, pulling everything to a deep close.

Once again he grabbed a jacket of hers, holding it close. It smelled of her, everything in their home did, But what kind of home was it without her?

He placed the jacket down, lifting his phone into his hands, Trembling fingers scrolling down his contact list till it reached her number. He clicked on the call button, letting it ring.

"..hey! If you're hearing this I'm probably super busy, if it's important please leave a message! I'll call you back as soon as I can!!"

Straight to voicemail. Her voice was still there. He bit his lip, chewing slightly. The taste of blood filling his senses. He breathed in, a trembling sigh. One final message.

"..You're not here anymore. You're not here and it hurts.."

He continued, Tears streaming down his torn skin.

"I miss you, I miss you so much it hurts. I'm sorry- I had no idea - if I could have done something I would have, I wish you had told me-,,"

He covered his mouth, muffling his crying as best he could.

"i had something for you,, next week, it was pretty and shiny, ruby and silver. I made sure it would fit your finger veena,, I called your mother, she was ready for dress shopping when you were ready-.."

He anxiously dug his nails into the sheets.

"I could have given you it all, I've been planning for months- I wanted a forever with you- I asked your dad! he said I could- he wanted it!!"

He broke into sobs, burying his head in his hands.

"how am i supposed to go on without you,, what am i supposed to do?.."

He inhaled, lifting the phone back up.

"They better keep you safe up there, You deserve it,,"

"..I love you, I always will, I'll look after prim for you, anything for you.."

He hesitantly hung up. The call log shutting off, He moved across the room, digging through the draws, pulling out a tiny box, flicking it open.

she would have loved it.

He would never forget the night she left him.

She took a piece of him with her.

And he would never be the same.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:··:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

ow ow ow ow ow

short post but ow

♡︎｡⋆✮⋆｡♡︎

[danielfeketewrites]

DOCTOR WHO TOP 10 - 5th Doctor

And now for the fifth Doctor...

Oh, dammit! It's 2024 already... Can we just pretend that I managed to do all of these in 2023, like I originally intended?

10. The Tides of Time

A big epic at the start of the fifth Doctor's DWM run, Tides goes to some weird places and I really like it for that.

9. Omega

While I think it's safe to call it the weakest of the 40th anniversary villains trilogy, I still think it's bloody good and Nev Fountain isn't appreciated enough.

8. The Curse of the Scarab

As a nerd who's into film history, I really think Doctor Who should be doing stuff like this more often. I really love this one. It's the start of the Ground Zero Threshold arc. It's also probably my fave out of that arc.

7. Enlightenment

Doctor Who trilogy finales... aren't necessarily bad but they usually aren't the best. The Last of the Time Lords, Hell Bent, Castrovalva, The Giggle... I don't think any of these stories are bad and they all have their fans. I personally like most of the stories I just mentioned. But I'd wager finding Doctor Who fans that love them over both of the preceding parts of their respective trilogies would not be an easy task.

That's not the case with this one. Enlightenment is rich, lovely, vivid, well-written, and just overall really great. It's a crime that Barbara Clegg never wrote another Doctor Who story...

6. The Caves of Androzani

I think everyone knows that Caves is amazing. It's only at number six because I feel there are two TV stories with Five that manage to do something more interesting... And also there's some eu stuff that I need to shout out like the pretentious eu fan that I am...

5. The Elite

Sike! You thought there weren't other Barbara Clegg Doctor Who stories? Ha! Alright, it's not actually a Big Finish story by Barbara Clegg. It's written by John Dorney but adapted from an unmade TV script written by Clegg. Trust me - this one is a masterpiece.

4. The Moderator

After Dave Gibbons had left DWM, the comic strip was stuck in a rut imo. The stories just sort of waddle around... But not this one. No, the last fifth Doctor comics to be released during his era is an absolute blast. An outpouring of neat ideas, masterfully illustrated by Steve Dillon. I would be lying if I said that it's the most well-plotted thing ever... But I love this one to bits anyway.

3. Kinda

Gonna hand over the next two entries to people who are slightly more qualified...

"Kinda above all things. You give actual drama to actors and you see what they can do with Doctor Who. It's head and shoulders over most of the things around it. In the 1980s, fanzine writers spent a lot of time trying to decode it. But the whole point of drama is to get your mind working and to get you involved in the mystery and to do a bit of work. Kinda is functioning on the level of a Play for Today, which is so completely different to where Doctor Who was at the time."

-Paul Cornell, DWM 542, p. 31 (New Who writers on their favourite 1980s Doctor Who scripts)

2. Snakedance

"Snakedance manages to be even cleverer than Bailey's Kinda the year before. I was 12 years old when it was broadcast, and the brilliant ways it plays upon the 20th anniversary's nostalgia, upon the way the Doctor is perceived - and the shocks, and the wit - had a profound effect on me. I remember watching it over and over on my parents' new VCR machine, and deciding I wanted to be a writer."

-Robert Shearman, DWM 542, p. 31 (New Who writers on their favourite 1980s Doctor Who scripts)

1. Circular Time

Admittedly, I'm cheating a bit with this one. It's four stories in a trench coat. But they all deserve the top spot and I'll explain why.

Confession: I used to really dislike the fifth Doctor. While Peter Davison is brilliant, I always thought his Doctor was a bit... flavour-less? Beige? Not that interesting? Most of this top 10 is formed by eu stories, so you can already see that I'm also not a big fan of this era as a whole. Even the really popular ones like The Five Doctors or Earthshock don't do much for me. So yeah, I was a fifth Doctor hater.

Then I fell in love with the fifth Doctor because of Circular Time. Well, specifically because of 'Autumn', which made me reconsider basically everything about the fifth Doctor. But I don't think 'Autumn' would work as well if it wasn't a part the larger patchwork. 'Spring' gives us a peak at the rules of regeneration and Time Lord politics that feels unique and intriguing 17 years later. 'Summer' is a historical romp that deals with the inherent anachronicity of the Doctor. And 'Winter' reframes this incarnation's final destination in a way that's cold and dark, yet sweet and hopeful. Together, these stories radically shifted my perspective on the fifth Doctor. You owe it to yourself to give them a listen.

[koolkat9]

👀

AU Ask Game

GerEng Werewolf AU

Because I love me some werewolf!Arthur.

Basically, Ludwig used to be a vet, but after a really bad experience or perhaps a chain of bad experiences he decides that maybe being a vet isn't for him. A little lost, he moves into a little cottage just outside of town, right next to the forest. He starts living his best cottage core life with his dog.

He's settled into his new life, but then something comes crashing in to disrupt all that. On the night of a full moon, a huge wolf comes wandering into Ludwig's backyard. The poor thing is injured, looking near death so Ludwig tries to help it. Though he primarily worked with pets, he learned to treat an array of animals, including wildlife. He wraps the now collapsed wolf in a blanket and tends to the wolf's wounds

When done, he gives it shelter in his shed (probably not safe and should not be done, but for plot suspend your disbelief). When he comes to check on the wolf in the morning, he instead finds a naked man who has the exact same injuries as the wolf did. Ludwig is freaking, wondering what he should do, what this means. But the man wakes up, cutting that freak out short.

"Where am I?" the man asks, dazed.

"My shed."

"Wha--I--"

"Are you a werewolf?" Ludwig blurts out.

"How absurd."

"Funny considering I left a wolf here last night in that exact blanket and attended to those exact wounds."

The man concedes that yes he's a werewolf, but Ludwig has to keep it secret. He intoduces himself as Arthur.

Though Ludwig is wary of how much he can trust Arthur he offers to give him breakfast and some clothes. The clothes are bit big, but they'll work. And Arthur is very thankful for the food.

But over breakfast Ludwig tries to squeeze more information out of Arthur, about who Arthur is and about werewolves in general, but Arthur is very secretive and quickly gets annoyed.

"Maybe I should take you to a proper doctor," Ludwig tries to offer, but Arthur shuts him down.

"What do you mean no?" Ludwig asks, "You're hurt and I'm no doctor."

"You did just fine. I can't have them possible picking up on the whole...you know...People finding out is what got me into this mess." Arthur quickly realizes he said a bit too much. But luckily Ludwig let's it go (for now).

"What do you plan on doing now?" Ludwig questions instead.

Arthur is quiet for a moment. "I'm not sure...Maybe look for more of my kind? We're wolves, we like being with others I guess."

"You guess."

"You ask too many questions."

Ludwig decides to drop all the questioning finally and tells Arthur he should stay here until his wounds heal. Arthur reluctantly agrees.

Arthur tries to cook breakfast the next morning to thank Ludwig for his kindness and almost burns the kitchen down. From that day on, Arthur is banned from the kitchen (until Ludwig learns that Arthur can bake then Arthur is only allowed in the kitchen to bake)

Some time goes by, the two settle into a life together, Arthur is getting stronger every day, but neither wants to admit that soon Arthur can set out on his own again.

Originally I had this next part taking place a few days after Arthur and Ludwig met but it didn't fit for how injured I made Arthur and I felt it was a bit rushed. So it's happening more like a month or two later.

Anyway, someone makes a comment about how much meat Ludwig is buying (werewolves need extra meet in their diet) and Ludwig covers by saying he got another dog. And Arthur gets a little offended by this and is pouty for the rest of the day leaving Ludwig confused.

Eventually Ludwig asks what's wrong.

"Don't know why you're asking a dog," Arthur barks.

"So that's what this is all about? It was a cover." Writing this out I just thought of something. What if Ludwig used the cover a few times or Ludwig has said things that compare Arthur to other canines and Arthur gets annoyed each time but Ludwig doesn't really pick up on the signals. So Ludwig goes onto say "Why are you so antsy about that?"

"Shut up. I don't want to talk about it?"

"Don't start getting pissy with me. You can leave any time you want. You're practically good as new."

"Then why haven't you kicked me out?"

"Because I'd miss you." Ludwig immediately regrets letting that slip and both are stunned into silence.

"Miss me?"

Ludwig admits from day one he thought Arthur was beautiful and over the month or two they've lived together, Ludwig loves Arthur deeply and fears losing him and being alone again.

Arthur admits he's grown attached to Ludwig as well and would like to stay if he's allowed.

And it's just two lonely men finding comfort in each other. Arthur learning to accept himself as a werewolf (because he's kind of resentful about that fact) and Ludwig deciding what he wants to do with his life (go back to being a vet or trying something else) (can't decide if I want him to go back to being a vet or try a different path)

And...yeah. That's what I've got for that au so far.

[sattosugu]

hiii luna! just wanted to drop by and say thanks for reblogging doctor who gifsets because they made me pick up the series again after seeing ncuti gatwa as the new doctor! he looked sooo good and so fun so I continued where I last left off. thankfully i wasn't that far, just needed to watch 13th's last season + the 10th and donna's special eps

the episode with the toymaker / neil patrick harris was soooo good! and i finally got to 15th and i just love him so much already! i love his energy! and ruby is so cute! i've forgotten how much i love the series 😭

anyways, thanks again for putting doctor who in my dash + all the other amazing stuff you share! i hope you have a wonderful weekend! 🥰🥰🥰

Ofc my friend. Np. I am happy that you got back into the show. I’ve been a doctor who fan since Matt Smith’s era and went back to watch David and Peter’s era but I didn’t watch Jodi’s era I just didn’t find it as interesting. I’m all caught up on the new doctor and the specials that aired before the new season started. I may make some gifs of my rewatch of David T’s era. It’s nice to know a mutual of mine is a fan of this show. I hope you have a safe weekend my friend. ^^ *hugs*

[sebastianorion]

HELLO OLD FRIEND 

How I’ve missed you but also been so glad we’ve been apart, I haven’t been getting my words out, maybe because I finally feel heard in places besides a digital page. Feeling more alive but knowing that means death will be harsher than before. Reminding myself of my own mortality and that of those around me. Times New Roman doesn’t look as good as it did earlier in the page. Time has passed and things have changed and other things have stayed the same, some things have left and others have come but I don’t know about all of it and I am glad I don’t. I remember what I want to know and I throw away what I don’t. I am about to move into my grandparents home, my safe haven and sanctuary. Nothing has ever harmed me there and I wait for the day something will and I know I will be fine with it. Chasing around my cat and a lengthy shadow that has been playing tricks on me. I have the weekend off and I stopped thinking of you at the perfect time. I have finally repieced myself and it took a while but I knew I could do it. I give these pieces away and I finally have enough pieces to keep for myself. Finally I feel better, I realized it in September, it is November now and there isn’t any snow around or in sight. I know it will sneak up on us towards the end of the month, the beginning of December is the deadline, it’s just procrastinating at this point and I don’t blame them. I feel fine now. I feel fine now. I have to keep telling myself this because I don’t know if I am able to really convince myself anymore, I need that constant reassurance because I was infected with it from someone else a long time ago. It's funny how those things transfer over and plague others with the same simple things you don’t even know you need. I know I need this and so I try to get it anyway I can, trying my hardest not to pass this on any further. All of my text is self indulgent I’ve realized, just because I needed it up until this point, maybe I will need it again but until then I think I will write with a different point in mind. I don’t know yet what that will be but I will find it soon. Or I won’t and will continue still. Really just like Zeno I have finished my study, no doctor will surmise this and give me my final prescription. I have finished ! Until I start again and I’ve already made that decision. I am in love with the life I live and I live everyday the same and it's the same perfect day. Groundhog day's curse but a blessing in disguise because on this day I was never hurt, I never remembered what happened prior, I’m just teleported to a warm autumn day with the leaves still on the trees just starting to change. I am driving down Saint Lawerence going through the tree canopy after just passing God and his friends. I am everything and nothing at this moment. Going the speed of light to a sanctuary just outside of the town I have always known. I have found peace in the eye of the storm and there is so much for me to do. I feel close to ending the story because I believe another one is about to begin. Leaving my fortress of solitude, an unheard story, so unheard that it was lived before it was written and will be lived again and again. Reminisce through trial and tribulation, sometimes the fear or hurt of sitting down with this page and continuing and knowing I will continue again but something tells me now that I don’t have to do that anymore. Old friend I think I’ve overstayed my welcome just a couple pages too heavy. Just a couple sentences overstuffed and crammed with a little too much punctuation. I think the weight is light enough today for me to take it off. Endings seem immature because nothing ever ends really, just stops and gets picked back up somewhere else. I think I’ve done it.

[jayreviews]

Apples are falling very far from the store

Hey it’s Yaj!

Quick update on the headphones: they’re amazing. I love them even more than I thought I did. The noise cancellation is a god send and I’m not even joking.

From previous posts I said how I lived with a big family, and said family has so many kids, and said kids make a lot of noise, and said noise is lowered when I turn on my headphones. Thank god I bought them cause my window was looking really tempting.

I did want to buy AirPods so I went to the store next to my house and asked for the cheapest not gonna lie. He said they were ten dollars and warned me that they weren’t the original and I was like ‘Well yeah they’re like ten dollars how would they be original?’ so I bought them but my tiny little shrimp brain didn’t think of asking about the sound or even seeing if I can try them at his store first.

So when I went back home to try them, in the nicest words I can think of: they were very much not what I wanted. The sound was very bad, the packaging was very good for ten dollars.

Anyway, I returned and got my money back.

I don’t need AirPods anyway.

Also I haven’t been playing as much as I did in summer cause obviously?? I have classes. And it’s exhausting. I went to my last class of the day today, spent money on the bus, sweat a lot cause summer sucks, walked to my class and finally sat down, only to get a text from my friend sending me the email our doctor sent saying ‘Oh there’s no class come in the weekend’ like?? Miss ma’am sir that should be illegal.

Anyway so I sat in the air conditioned room cause I wasn’t dumb?? And went home after an hour.

And new topic: What is up with apple?

I keep hearing about how the iPhone 15 overheats when you use a charger other than the one you buy, breaks when it bends but honestly why would you even buy a phone that expensive only to bend it?? rich people man. I want to be this rich in the future so I could but an iPhone just to bend it.

So I updated my iPhone 12 to the new iOS update because it hadn’t stopped bugging me about it, and what do you know, it’s been hell on earth.

My battery is more draining than before, my applications keep crashing, the new auto correction wON’T TURN OFF AND I AM FED UP BECAUSE WHY IS IT LIKE THAT??

And there’s another update to the one before, but it needs at least 6GB for it to update and like?? I have the 64GB you think I have enough space??

I’m crying.

Also my computer is lagging too much, the stupid thing won’t click unless I restart every time I open it. None of my applications will work unless I do that.

So I need a new phone, a new computer, and because I’m a hoarder and I like collecting things that are not normal and because it would look so cute, I want an iPad. With a keyboard. And an apple pen.

You think if I got just the iPad with the keyboard and the pen it’d replace my computer? Not like replace replace but it’d help for college right? Idk.

Yeah the window looks very tempting. It’s calling out to me.

Plus I’m responsible for this club in college and I have to do so many things and buy stuff and talk to so many people for this other thing and we don’t even have the budget so we’re all paying from out of pocket.

(We had the first meeting last week and so many people were starting at me. But then my best friend wad like ‘Well yeah it’s cause you’re the president’ and I blocked her. But there were two cute guys staring at me the whole time. Let me be delusional okay??)

Oh oh!! And there’s this cute guy in some of my classes but I’m terrified he’s a minor (like he’s 17 not 18 yet fresh out of high school) and like ew. So I’m remaining safe and keeping it close from a distance. Like, friends is okay. If he’s 18 then woohoo I can have a crush. But if he’s 17 then haha jail looking real fine right now.

So.

How are you guys doing?

Until next time.

Byebye!

[kikibridges13]

So I'm posting this here instead of anywhere else on the interwebs because shy of a select few friends I mutually follow from college, nobody from home, friends, family, or people at work know about this platform. And right now it's the only safe place I feel like I have.

Yesterday, I got a call from my doctor updating me on some CT results I had to get done over the weekend. Backstory: Almost 10 years ago (September 29th, to be exact) I was diagnosed with a brain tumor on the lower hemisphere of my brain - it had been a slow-growing, tangerine sized mass that had been there probably my entire life, it just had finally grown to the point it was affecting my life. Anyway, surgery was required, radiation followed, despite being benign. There was a 85% chance of it never returning. It wrecked my entire fucking life; I had been out of college 4 months at this point, and my doctor wanted me to do nothing for a year.

What a way to start your life, right?

Fast-forward 10 years. I've been married, divorced, been at a job for the last 5 years that I finally love and thinking about going back to school for social work so I can expand on my current discharge planning occupation. Been in a relationship for 4 years with the sweetest guy.

And then my dizziness symptoms return. First it was a couple of times when getting up and thought it was normal. Then I started having them completely stationary at work. So I called my doctor.

And that's what you missed on Glee!

Despite my dry attempt at humor and acting like it's not a big thing, I'm absolutely fucking terrified. After I got the call yesterday, I was shaking so back my supervisor kept asking me every 10 minutes or so if I was okay.

It seems like every time I get to a good place in my life, everything fucks up. Graduated college in 2013? Four months later, diagnosed with a brain tumor.

My first job once I was able to work at let me go the same day I decided to move in with my ex-husband.

Said ex-husband announced that he had been cheating on me pretty much our entire relationship when I suggested that we start trying to expand our family. Guess I should thank anybody out there listening that I never got pregnant by him.

Went on vacation once travel restrictions had let up post-Covid, just to wreck my car the next day.

Recently, I traded said car for a new one at the beginning of June. Got called into a department meeting a week later that our on-site call center was being removed to remote and some of us wouldn't have a job. My ever growing skill set and the fact I'm a reliable employee saved me, and I transferred to where I am now.

And now, here I am, about to maybe move in with my boyfriend, thinking of other life changes, and I get a call I've been absolutely dreading for the past 10 years.

I'm posting here because I'm absolutely terrified of what is going to come out of that neuro consult when I have to go to it. Most likely I'm going to have to do an MRI, I know that. But if they tell me another surgery? Another round of radiation? The last round damn near killed me, literally. I stopped eating, lost over 60 pounds in about 5 months, and it left me with no appetite and no will to even continue on with my life. I fought so hard to build where I am today. And I'm terrified of watching it all crumble down around me.

I'm tired of all the "thoughts and prayers" posts that now litter the post I made on the book of faces. I realize I live in the heart of the Bible Belt and there are more churches than literally anything in Southwest Virginia, but to be honest, I stopped believing in a lot of things related to religion years ago. I just need a place to feel scared for a moment, and to have my feelings valid, and to take a moment to get this all out somewhere. Because if I bottle it up, then somebody I love is going to get the brunt of this and it'll be another bridge burned to add to the pile that's been growing for the last 10 years.