#17/18 is such a hard fucking age and it doesn't get better for a LONG time and we all know that. let them be.

[scare-ard--sleigh]

one thing i do high key hate about editing the prom dress articles is seeing how people just say things about body image and ~finding the right dress to flatter your figure~ so carelessly. like i know our duty is to the client and i know the client had a lot of that rhetoric on their site, but we were hired specifically to update that copy and i just. idk! i think we also have a duty to not feed into the same ideas that nerf self esteem and worsen eating disorders!

[imperial-topaz2003]

Imperial-Topaz ranks SWTOR Romances

To mark my return, I decided to do a SWTOR ranking, this time with the romances. I'm gonna stick with just vanilla ones for now, and do expansions at a later time. Also, I'm not doing any of the 'one-shot' romances, or I'll be here till the next century. Again, this is just my opinion, let me know what you think on these romances in the comments or reblogs. Anyway, this is gonna be a chonkey one, so let's get into it.

19. Kaylio Djannis

What a surprise. Anyway, she's down here for one reason in particular. She's literally the only romance option that fucking cucks you.

Yup. Honestly, Kaliyo is such an unlikable piece of shit. She trash talks you even if you're flirting with her and probably doesn't see you as anything more than a one night stand. I don't wanna look at this bitch no more. Next! 18. Doc

Yeah, you know how I feel about Doc already. The walking sexual harassment lawsuit who can't take 'no' for an answer. If you're a female knight who doesn't want to romance him (or at least wants to take things easy and not rush), you're in for an uncomfortable time. But what if you're into his flirts and return them? Is the relationship a bit healthier? I suppose, but his attitude makes it hard for me to take his commitment seriously. I just have this feeling that he'll run off to bang a hotter chick if given the opportunity. I mean, he already fled a wedding once.

So yeah, fuck Doc and his ugly ass crowbar mustache. 17. Nadia Grell

Before you crucify me, I like Nadia, okay? She's a great character. Her romance on the other hand is...eugh. There is a lot of unfortunate implications. You guys already know I'm not a big fan of Padawan and Apprentice relationships, it's just creepy for me. Also, you start romance literally after her father dies. I'm serious, it almost plays into the Sex for Solace trope. Also, the Consular is coded to be an older person, while Nadia is really young. I mean, ngl, I don't mind age difference as long as both parties are the age of majority (which, to give credit, they are) but still. Honestly, I just like Nadia better as a surrogate daughter/little sister to the Consular.

16. Corso Riggs

Yeah, Corso is...not the best in my opinion. I'll give him credit, he's got good looks and plenty of gentlemanly charm if you're into that sorta thing. But then again, his romance setup pretty much forces you to take advantage of him while he's drunk. Already that bumps him down a few spots for me. Personality wise, I find his whole 'don't hurt woman at all' shtick to get really old, especially when he does it towards women who are actively trying to kill him and the Smuggler. Buddy, you can defend yourself and still be a Gentleman at the same time. His jealousy also kinda gets on my nerves. Not my cup of tea, but I won't judge anyone who picks him.

15. Jaesa Willsaam (Dark side)

Some may not like that I put her this high, but the reason Dark!Jaesa is above the last four for me is simple: the entertainment value. Honestly, her romance is also roughly how I feel about her character: not actually 'good' per say, but so hilariously over-the-top and edgy, that I can't help but laugh. A perfect fit for a chaotic dark side Sith Warrior. However, as a genuine love interest? Not the best. There's better options you can pick for that. Also, I'm not discussing in this list Light!Jaesa, since I believe that's an expansion-only romance.

14. Raina Temple

Alright, done with the bad, now we can move onto the good, starting with Raina. She's alright in my opinion. I don't have much to say, honestly. I like her whole everywoman theme, she's cute, she's got some complexity to her, and she's not Kaliyo. Not an absolute fav, but she's good in my book.

13. Andronikos Revel

Again, not much to say. Revel's got a good arc to him: starts off casual and laid-back, but once you get to know eachother, he opens up and it becomes more serious. I also like how he's flirtatious and not an absolute creep about it...unlike a certain someone... So yeah, simple and sweet. 12. Risha Drayen

Don't have much to say for Risha, either. I like her, but I'm not crazy for her. I will admit, I do have a soft spot for the whole princess x rogue type of romance, and she is a pretty likable and personable character. I just prefer the other romance option for smugglers, but we'll get to that in a bit. 11. Felix Iresso

Someone give this man a hug, a blanket, and some snacks. He did not deserve any of the shit he went through. Hurt/comfort aside, I like Felix. He's calm, mature, friendly, and straight-forward in a good way. I know I sound like a broken record, but honestly, I am having trouble of what to say. Moving on! 10. Ashara Zavros

The one thing holding Ashara back for me is the master/apprentice dynamic. That's really the only problem I have with her romance. I just find it creepy. That aside, Ashara's pretty good. I love her character arc of her realizing the conflict between Jedi and Sith isn't as Black and White as she initially thought it was, and how it ties into her romance. I especially like romancing her with a Light Sided Inquisitor. It's just so sweet.

P.S. They did her dirty in KOTFE 9. Vector Hyllus

I know how beloved Vector is and some people are really not gonna like me not putting him the top 5. That's only because I only did his romance once. However, I did enjoy that playthrough. Vector is a very wholesome and quirky character with some interesting romantic themes. I'll have to play through him again someday. 8. Akaavi Spar

Man, I love warrior women. Especially ones who soften up over time, just like Akaavi here. I honestly have a soft spot for characters who completely wall themselves off from everyone else, but slowly begin to let other people into their boundaries as they open up. I know some people might not like me putting her over Risha, but I can't help it. Akaavi is just great.

7. Torian Cadera

Once more, not a whole lot to say, but I do enjoy Torian. His loyalty and courage are always endearing. One of my favorite moments in this game is reciting Mandalorian wedding vows with him. IDK why, but it's just so adorable for me. He, the Hunter, and Mako are an OT3 of mine. 6. Elara Dorne

Elara's romance is pretty adorable. She slowly begins to fall for you, spends time trying to adjust to a more casual relationship, and even goes out of her way to fill out heaps of paperwork and bypass regulations just so she can be with you. I love it. The one downside for me is the fact that you're her CO and she's technically sleeping with the boss. I don't hate it as much as the master/apprentice thing, but it does come a bit close. Other than that, she's great.

5. Malavai Quinn

Kicking off my top 5 is Quinn. The reason he's not number 1 is because I have a few issues with his romance. For one, you can turn the relationship very possessive and abusive as a dark side character. It's pretty scummy that the game lets you do that, and there is a sadly not insignificant amount of people who like to take that route. I won't call names, but still, it can get a bit iffy. On the other hand, if you're passive with him and respect his boundaries, his romance is considerably sweeter. It's really rewarding to see him show his undying loyalty and affection for you if you're not aggressively demanding it from him, and I love how you can rebuild your relationship after the Quincident. Really wish more people would go down that route. 4. Mako

Honestly, Mako has one of my favorite companion dynamics in the whole game, romance or not. She's charismatic and quirky gal to contrast to the generally gruff and straightforward bounty hunter, but still badass enough to keep up with them. And the romance, again, is pretty wholesome...and I'll leave it at that. Just plain cute and heartwarming. 3. Vette

Vette's dynamic with the Warrior is pretty much about the same as Mako's with the hunter. Which is why I really like her. I'm a big sucker for noble x commoner type relationships. Also in comparison to Malavai's, I like to take things slow with her, too. Instead of pushing every flirt button, it's wholesome to see her slowly come to a decision on her own and profess her love to the Warrior. NGL, though, I absolutely love how she literally jumps with joy upon being proposed to. Oh, and BioWare, how dare you make me choose between Torian and her! 2. Aric Jorgan

It's grumpy cat time. Another trope I have a soft spot for is the Defrosting Ice Queen (or King in this scenario). I love it when characters don't initially hit it off at first, but eventually warms up to eachother. Sure, when rushed, it comes off as contrived and unbelievable, but when done right, it's just amazing.

And Jorgan is just that, his friendship/romance evolution with the Trooper is a bit slow, but also believable. By the end of the story, he ends up straight up dedicated towards you. I also love how flustered he can get in romantic situations. Now if only BioWare made him bisexual... 1. Kira Carsen

@swtorpadawan and @magicallulu7 are gonna like this. Anyway, Kira might just be my favorite vanilla SWTOR companion. Playful, snarky, but still goodhearted and brave. And throughout the years, she'd still remained a favorite, both character and romance wise. I know, master/apprentice stuff, but I never see the Knight as her master. I see them more as Jedi partners (and perhaps more) if anything. I really like how you do help her overcome her past trauma and develop into a more responsible figure. Honestly, making her Bisexual in Onslaught was a chad move...if only BioWare did that for other companions. Conclusion

Holy fuck, that was a lot! Either way, I hope you guys enjoyed this ranking. If you disagree, please don't flame me for my opinions, or else I will cry. instead, tell me how you'd change the rankings and what your favorites are.

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Interlude 2 Live Reactions

(This is me, writing reactions as I read, because why the fuck not. They're not complete, mature thoughts taken after I sit back and evaluate what I've read. Consider them as such)

There were very few things, in Victoria Dallon’s estimation, that were cooler than flying.  The invisible forcefield that extended a few millimeters over her skin and clothes just made it better.  The field kept the worst of the chill from touching her, but still let her feel the wind on her skin and in her hair.  Bugs didn’t splat against her face like they did against car windshields, even when she was pushing eighty miles an hour.

I mean, there's a reason why people objected to Victoria being the MC of Ward way back when. Her first introduction really doesn't jive with the rest of Worm's general tone, sets the mood, etc. Collateral Damage Barbie and all.

Really, Ward may take place after Worm, and may be in the same verse, etc, but it's not a sequel in the conventional sense. it's not telling the same story, the theming and narrative is wildly different - plus, Worm is 1.6 Million words long. 1.6 Million is over 3 times longer than Lord of the Fucking Rings. That's not a Book, that's a series. Ward isn't a sequel to Worm, it's a new series in the same world, after the previous series. Which is definitely a thing.

Granted, this is nitpicking, but Ward sucks, so fuck Ward.

Anyway - this opener for Vicky here does set a tone for her. I know she 'gets better' even within Worm itself, etc, but at this point, all the reader really knows (bar spoilers) is that some heroes are apparently dicks, and some villains are apparently halfway nice people. I'm going to guess one of the main purposes of this interlude (since, if I have picked up things right, is an instance of Amy healing another one of Vicky's victims) is to further the case, to the reader, that the heroes aren't all bright and shiny.

(To be clear, based on my fic reading/wiki walking/reddit thread reading, I am actually a fan of Victoria Dallon overall)

She stayed in that kneeling position for just heartbeats, letting her platinum curls and the cape that was draped over one of her shoulders flutter in the wake of air that had followed her descent.  She met the eyes of her quarry with a steely glare. She’d practiced that landing for weeks to get it right.

We see her reveling in her power in a way Taylor never does, never wants to. We also see her being an overdramatic teenager, but then, If I'd had that sort of power when I was her age (17? 18?) I'd also be overdramatic as fuck, so I'm not blaming her.

“I didn’t do anything,” the man snarled. “Andrea Young!” Victoria raised her voice.  As she shouted, she exercised her power.  The man quailed as though she’d slapped him.  “A black college student was beaten so badly she needed medical attention!  Her teeth were knocked out!  You’re trying to tell me that you, a skinhead with swollen knuckles, someone who was in the crowd watching paramedics arrive with an expression bordering on glee, you didn’t do anything!?” “I didn’t do nothing worth caring about,” he sneered.  His bravado was tempered by a second look over his shoulder, as though he’d very much like to be elsewhere right that moment.

I mean, no one ever accused Neo-Nazis of being smart, but you do know who this is, you little shit, right? You may not care, but she does, so keep on denying it. It won't work, but you have to at least try.

God, his stupidity almost offends me more than his racism.

  For just a moment, she contemplated slamming him up against a wall.  It would have been fitting and satisfying to shove him hard enough against the brick to crack it, then drop him into the dumpster that sat at the wall’s base.

Intrusive thoughts, entirely understandable.

“I think it’s a safe bet to say you’re a member of Empire Eighty-Eight,” she told him, meeting his eyes with a hard stare, “or at least, you’ve got some friends who are.  So here’s what’s going to happen.  You’re going to either tell me everything the triple-E’s have been up to, or I’m going to break your arms and legs and then you’re going to tell me everything.”

Well. Not a great look, even as an empty threat, Victoria. Not a great look at all.

“Fuck you, you can’t touch me.  There’s laws against that shit,” he blustered, staring fixedly over one shoulder.

Okay, so I know police brutality still happens on Earth-Bet, so does this guy really think this will work?

(also, why is it in superhero fiction superheroes always seem to be better regulated and more likely to actually be punished than cops? Apart from author fiat, I mean? Probably Police Unions are a huge contributing factor, tbh)

Her body thrummed with current – waves of energy that anyone in her presence would experience as an emotional charge of awe and admiration.  For those with a reason to be afraid of her, it would be a feeling of raw intimidation instead.

Ah yes. The Aura. Nothing ethically dubious about this. Aura Theory may not be true, but really, wtf Vicky. Don't go running this thing like it's Candy Crush on a boring Thursday Night.

Was Candy Crush around in 2011? Does Earth Bet have Candy Crush?

He was utterly for still for long enough that Victoria had begun to worry that he’d somehow snapped his neck or broken his spine as he’d rolled.  She was relieved when he groaned and began to pull himself to his feet. “Ready to talk?” she asked him, her voice carrying down the alley.  She didn’t move  forward from where she hovered in the air, but she did let herself drop closer to the ground.

There is a reason Vicky's detractors (and even some of her fans) call her 'Cop' as a middle name.

Like, character doing torture in fiction happens, and in a story like Worm, might even still be an overall good person, but someone like Glory Girl really shouldn't fucking be doing this shit. Not with New Wave's whole schtick and her whole general... vibe as a superhero.

Then again, that she's doing this despite that is probably the whole goddamn point of the interlude.

What was this asshole thinking?  That she would just let him go?  That, what, she would just bend to his witless lack of self preservation?  That she was helpless to do any real harm to him?  To top it off, he was going to insult her and try to walk away?

Shards, Shards, my dudes. my guys - DON'T GIVE TEENAGERS THIS SORT OF POWER

This time, he didn’t get up. “Fuck,” she swore, “Fuckity fuck fuck.”  She flew to him and checked for a pulse.  She sighed, and then headed to the nearest street.  She found the street address, grabbed her cell from her belt and dialed. “Hey sis?  Yeah, I found him.  That’s, uh, sort of the problem.  Yeah.  Look, I’m sorr- ok, can we talk about this later?  Yeah.  I’m at Spayder and Rock, there’s this little road that runs behind the buildings.  Downtownish, yeah.  Yeah?  Thanks.” Victoria returned to the unconscious skinhead, checked his pulse, and listened intently for changes in his breathing.  It took a very long five minutes for her sister to arrive. “Again, Victoria?” the voice disturbed her from her contemplations.

Again.

One word. Conveys so much character and worldbuilding, doesn't it?

“Use my codename, please,” Victoria told the girl.  Her sister was as different from her as night was from day.  Where Victoria was beautiful, tall, gorgeous, blonde, Amy was mousy.  Victoria’s costume showed off her figure, with a white one-piece dress that came to mid-thigh (with shorts underneath) an over-the shoulder cape, high boots and a golden tiara with spikes radiating from it, vaguely reminiscent of the sun’s rays or the statue of liberty.  Amy’s costume, by contrast, was only a shade away from being a burka.  Amy wore a robe with a large hood and a scarf that covered the lower half of her face.  The robe was alabaster white and had a medic’s red cross on the chest and the back.

Like, I've seen people give Wildbow grief for describing Amy's outfit as like a burka, and it wasn't a great choice of words, but is evocative.

He really should have picked another term tho.

Also! AMY! AMY! My Poor Borbo Sopping Wet Babygirl Little Meow Meow Who Did Nothing* Wrong! Finally she appears! Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie!

*As a necessary clarification for people who are Wildbow or who otherwise don't understand Fandom and/or tumblr Humor, yes, Amy of course did so fucking much that is wrong. I really shouldn't have to clarify this, but this fucking fandom (and this fucking Author)

“Our identities are public,” Amy retorted, pushing the hood back and scarf down to reveal brown frizzy hair and a face with freckles spaced evenly across it. “It’s the principle of the thing,” Victoria replied. “You want to talk about principles, Glory Girl?” Amy asked, in the most sarcastic tone she could manage, “This is the sixth – sixth! – time you’ve nearly killed someone.  That I know about!” “I’m strong enough to lift a SUV over my head,” Victoria muttered, “It’s hard to hold back all the time.”

Yes, but that's also why you don't... like... do those things, Vicky? If you can't be sure you will hold back, then don't do a thing where if you don't hold back, you leave a guy like this. At least if it's not an actual life and death situation.

Amy's not wrong here. Six fucking times is a lot, for a girl who hasn't had her powers for more than a few years.

Carol? Carol?! Who said you could let your teenage wrecking ball patrol around like this unsupervised? Caaaarol!

(God, Carol is just... the worst fucking mother all around, isn't she?)

“Look, can you just fix him?” Victoria pleaded. “I’m thinking I shouldn’t,” Amy said, quietly. “What?” “There’s consequences, Vicky.  If I help you now, what’s going to stop you from doing it again?  I can call the paramedics.  I know some good people from the hospital.  They could probably fix him up alright.”

I mean, on the list of things that's weighing Amy down, all the people that she's healed for Victoria is probably a bit lower down, but it doesn't help.

Don't help her Amy. I know you will, and I love you anyway, but don't. Please don't. You're right. Vicky does need to learn.

“I know you’re not keen on the superhero thing, but you’d really go that far?  You’d do that to us?  To me?”

Look who took guilt redirection classes from Mommy!

(Not that this is like, some horrible sin revealing Vicky as a garbage person, teenagers learning moral lessons from their parents is inevitable, and Carol, again, suuuuucks. Bad mom, bad superhero, bad human. All my homies hate Carol.)

Amy pointed a finger at her sister, “That’s not me.  It’s not my fault we’re at this point.  It’s you.  You’re crossing the line, going too far.  Which is exactly what people who criticize New Wave are scared of.  We’re not government sponsored.  We’re not protected or organized or regulated in the same way.  Everyone knows who we are under our masks.  That means we have to be accountable.  The responsible thing for me to do, as a member of this team, is to let the paramedics take him, and let the law do as it sees fit.”

Again. She's really not fucking wrong. If Vicky makes a bad first showing for a work like this, Amy makes a really good first showing.

“My adoptive family,” Amy mumbled into Victoria’s shoulder, “And stop trying to use your frigging power to make me all squee over how amazing you are.  Doesn’t work.  I’ve been exposed so long I’m immune.” “It hurts,” the man moaned. “I’m not using my power, dumbass,” Victoria told Amy, letting her go, “I’m hugging my sister.  My awesome, caring and merciful sister.”

Being exposed to a mind altering power so much that you're 'immune' is still not the sort of thing a person should really be going through at all, you get that, right? Vicky? You do get that, right?

Are you really not? You sure? Because you just did lose control of your other power (super strength) a few minutes ago.

Aura Theory isn't true, but the Aura is still 17 kinds of bullshit, Vicky.

Amy frowned at Victoria, “I’ll heal him.  But this is the last time.”

Amy, I love you, I love you to pieces and to the moon and back, and I wish for nothing but happiness for you, but you and I both know this is not the last time.

Amy leaned over the man and touched her hand to his cheek, “Slingshot break to his ribs, fractured clavicle, broken mandible, broken scapula, fractured sternum, bruised lung, broken ulna, broken radius -“ “I get the point,” Victoria said. “Do you?” Amy asked.  Then she sighed, “I wasn’t even halfway down the list.  This is going to take a little while.  Sit?”

Vicky, you're really not sounding like someone who is getting it. You really should be hearing Amy's whole list.

Like, I get that Vicky's probably not supposed to be coming off great in this scene, and if so, task fucking successful.

“Better than ever, physically,” Amy replied, “I grew her new teeth, fixed everything from the bruising to the scrapes, and even gave her a head to toe tune-up.  Physically, she’ll feel on top of the world, like she had been to a spa and had the best nutritionist, best fitness expert and the best doctor all looking after her for a straight month.”

Powers.

Are.

Bullshit.

“Yeah, yeah.  Not can’t.  Won’t.  It’s complicated and I don’t trust myself not to screw something up when I’m tampering with someone’s head.  That’s it, that’s all.”

This isn't the (only) reason Amy has this rule, of course, but it's a damn fucking good one.

As far as she was concerned, Amy was doing herself a disservice by not practicing using her powers on the brain.  It was only a matter of time before her sister found herself in a situation where she needed to do some emergency brain surgery and found herself incapable.  Amy, for her part, refused to even discuss it.

...On the other hand.

Vicky's not wrong. Holy shit, is she not wrong. And not just for reasons stated, but for a bunch of other reasons Vicky doesn't know about.

The problem with rigid rules, and pinning your entire sense of morality to them is that if you break one, and you made it so rigid it's brittle, the whole moral edifice falls down.

Amy, babygirl, please. Someone needs to get this girl into at college level ethics course, STAT. She needs a moral worldview that she didn't inherit from Carol that isn't so black and white and rigid yet brittle.

“I… sue you, he gasped out, then managed an added, “Whore.” “Try it.  I’d just love to see a skinhead with a few broken bones go up against a superheroine whose mom just happens to be one of the best lawyers in Brockton Bay.  You know her, right?”

Aaand back to the Police Brutality analogues.

“And erectile dysfunction,” Amy said, just loud enough for the thug to hear her, “You fractured your ninth vertebra.  That’s going to affect all nerve function in extremities below your waist.  If I leave you like you are, your toes will always feel a little numb, and you’ll have a hell of a time getting it up, if you know what I mean.”

Always the best way to get to a guy poisoned on the kind of hypertoxic 'masculinity' that fascism and adjacent ideologies fill their supporters with: Go after what they love most.

“I have an honorary medical license,” Amy told him, her expression solemn, “I’m not allowed to fuck with you about stuff like that.  Hippocratic oath.”

Amy Dallon, Bullshittter Extraordinaire :rofl:

“This guy, Coil.  Don’t know what his powers are, but he’s got a private army.  Ex-military, all of ’em.  At least fifty, Kaiser said, and every one of ’em has top notch gear.  Their armor’s better than kevlar.  You shoot ’em, they’re back up in a few seconds.  ‘Least when you shoot a pig, you can be pretty sure you broke a few ribs.  But that’s not the fucked up thing.  These guys?  They’ve got these lasers hooked up to the machine guns they carry around.  If they don’t think bullets are doing it, or if they’re after people who are behind cover, they fire off these purple laser beams that can cut through steel.  Tear through any cover you’re standing behind and burn through you too.”

Aaaah Thomas Fuckface Calvert. First introduction of what is probably the closest thing Worm has to like a real 'main villain'. Jack Slash is a close second, but it takes too long for him to be relevant for that to count. Calvert looms over the entire narrative from midway through Arc 2 until he dies in what... I'm going to guess from what I know is somewhere in Arc 20? 21?

The skinhead laughed, then winced, “Are you dense, girl?  Everyone’s going to make a play.  It’s not just the major gangs and teams that are looking for a slice of the pie, there.  It’s everyone.  The Docks are ripe for the taking.  The location’s worth as much money as you’d get downtown.  It’s the go to place if you want to buy black market.  Sex, drugs, violence.  And the locals are already used to paying protection money.  It’s just a matter of changing who they pay to.  The Docks are rich territory, and we’re talking the potential for a full scale fucking war over it.”

Nature abhors a vacuum, and that's one reason you have to be careful about taking out whole gangs.

He continued, “You want to know my guess?  Empire Eighty Eight is going to take the biggest slice of the Docks, because we’re strong enough to.  Coil’s going to stick his thumb in just to spite us, ABB is going to hold on to some.  But you’re also going to have a bunch of the little guys trying to take something for themselves.  Über and Leet, Circus, the Undersiders, Squealer, Trainwreck, Stain, others you’ve never heard of?  They’re going to stake out their ground, and one of two things is going to happen.  Either there’s war, in which case civilians get hurt and things get bad for you, or there’s alliances between the various teams and solo villains and shit gets even worse for you.”

Chatty (and surprisingly insightful) little shithead, isn't he? Where were all these brains earlier when he was Mouthing Off to Alexandria Jr?

 “Try it.  My sister just healed you… most of you, with a touch.  Did you ever wonder what else she could do?  Ever think, maybe, she could break you just as easily?  Or change the color of your skin, you racist fuck?  I’ll tell you this, I’m not half as scary as my little sister is.”

Does Vicky realize how true this is? Like, really, truly, how easily her sister could become an S-class threat?

Also, just once, it would be funny as fuck if Amy did make a member of E88 black. Horrifying implications, but funny as fuck.

“I’ll be good.  I’ll be better,” Victoria promised as she dialed with one hand. 

If I'm Amy, I'm thinking 'You mean that now'.

But again. What 17 year old doesn't say "i'll do better" and, even when they mean it, sometimes fail?

“Amy!” Victoria laughed, hugging her sister with one arm, “Weren’t you just saying you weren’t going to mess with people’s heads?”

She said she wouldn't mess with their brains.

(Not that this shithead racist fucker seems to have many of those)

Overall, fucking love this Interlude, and even if I didn't have Amy Dallon Brainrot™ as a pre-existing condition, I think I would anyway.

But ooof. So many fucking oofs, given where I know the story is going.

[truefant4sy]

PROMPTS

rules: choose a number. you MUST say which character, or I will not answer. character of your choice- COC

1: "you'll never find nobody better than me" -heartless by Kanye west | COC goes on date after date after breaking up only to come back because no one is better than you | smut

2: " you look so happy when I'm not with you"- save your tears by the weekend | COC sees you with your friends in the club and tries to rekindle old memories | angst or smut

3 " oh, baby where are you now that I need you the most" - after hours by the weekend | COC is touring/on a mission/dead when reader needs them the most i.e. panic attack, losing someone, needing to vent | angst

4: " if you go, I'll stay you come back, I'll be right here" - yes to heaven By Lana del Rey | reader waits for COC to come back to them after leaving for touring/a mission | fluff or smut

5: " if I told you who I am, would you use it against me?" - Die hard by Kendrick Lamar COC is trying to hide their past from reader from fear of reader no longer wanting to be with them/ love them | angst or fluff

6: "Don't blame me, love made me crazy and if doesn't, then you ain't doin' it right" - Don't blame me by Taylor swift | reader defends COC even after its known by everyone the things COC did | angst or fluff

7: "But I'll love you better if you let me" - ALL MINE by Brent Faiyaz | COC wants to be with reader whose partner treats them like shit, but the reader is still loyal to said partner | angst or smut

8: "my love is not a joke" - Just a fan by Roar | COC confesses to reader just for reader not to take them seriously and think it's a joke/prank | smut, fluff or angst

9: " wish I could turn back to a stranger - eventually by tame impala | COC has strong feelings for the reader, but reader has trust issues leading into a constant cat and mouse game

10: " I know your tired of loving with nobody to love" - bound 2 by Kanye west | COC comforts reader after reading confines their problems with trusting partners in them| smut or angst

11: "every time you come around, I feel like glitter" - glitter by Tyler the creator COC | tells reader how they feel every time they are with them (established relationship) | fluff or smut

12: " 20/20, 20/20 vision cupid hit me, cupid hit me with precision" - see you again by Tyler the creator ft kali uchis | COC sees reader (at school or at a club or a new co worker) and immediately falls in love with them | smut or fluff

13: " but if you need dick, I got you" - Nikes by frank ocean | COC is readers sneaky link and only ever calls them when they want sex | smut or angst

14: "fuck me good, fuck me long, fuck me numb" - Nova cane by frank ocean | reader wants COC to be rougher during sex | smut

15: " no matter what you say or what you do I when I'm alone I rather be with you" - 3005 by childish Gambino | reader always forgives COC even if they say something fucked up | smut, fluff or angst

16: " you say you miss me and I wanna say I miss you so much"- west coast by Lana del Rey | COC doesn't want reader to think that their soft so they never show any emotion towards reader | angst or smut

17: " been around the world and I can't find my baby" - all around the world by Lisa Stanfield | COC and reader loses contact for the a few years and once reunited COC tells reader how they tried to find them | smut, fluff or angst

18: " I hope nobody catch us but I kinda hope they catch us" - Les by childish Gambino | reader and COC fuck in a semipublic area | smut

19: " have a baby by me baby be a millionaire" - baby by me by 50 cent ft ne-yo | COC wants reader to have their kids so reader can have their money | smut

20: " I got a thing for you, and I can't let go" - age ain't nothing but a number by Aliyah| reader has a crush on older trainer/teacher and can't stop trying to pursue them | smut

21: " I don't really wanna stay I don't really wanna go but I really need to know can we get it together?" - get it together by 702 | reader and COC is breaking apart, but reader wants it to work | smut, fluff or angst

22: " well this has got to be the longest crush ever" - power trip by j Cole ft Miguel | reader has liked COC since elementary school and finally gets noticed by them when the visit they're old city during the summer | smut

23: " all the loving I've been giving goes unnoticed" - love drought by Beyonce | reader is devoted to COC just to always get pushed away/ never noticed (established relationship) | angst or fluff

24: " take me for one last ride I'm out of my head tonight" - sextape by Deftones| reader and COC take one last ride around the town before reader leaves for mental/work reasons (or wtv you want really) | smut, fluff or angst

25: "bet you still won't forget me" - ball w/o you by 21 savage | reader starts to sleep around after them, and COC break up but still can't forget them | smut or angst

26: " I just wanna see you shine cause I know you are a star girl" - star girl interlude by the weekend | COC supports famous!reader even during the controversial stages because they just want to see them shine | fluff.

27: "baby if you do it take your time do it right" - take your time (do it right) by the SOS band | COC teaches virgin!reader how to have sex and what to do | smut

28: " are we dating? are we fucking? are we best Friends? are we |something?" - heartbeat by childish Gambino | reader wants to know what the relationship with COC is after constant sex, dates etc. | smut or angst

29: " your obsessed just let me go" - dead to me by kali uchis | COC is still talking about/ still contacting reader after their breakup even after being told not to | smut or angst

30: " cause your just a man it's just what you do" - Norman fucking Rockwell by Lana del Rey| COC does something that reminds reader that after all COC is just man| angst

31: "I'm still working on me" - f*****g fans by drake | COC still isn't ready to be with reader because they feel unworthy of their love but mask this as "working on themselves/ not being ready" | smut, fluff or angst

[clatoera]

🔥 Happy Birthday Katniss Everdeen 🔥

What's your first impression of Katniss after reading or watching The Hunger Games?

Do you find Katniss likable? Do you think her characterization is realistic?

What do you think the strengths and weaknesses of Katniss?

If today, you can make new movie/series adaptation, who would be suitable as Katniss? Based on visual description and acting talents.

Thank you :)

@curiousnonny

Hey y'all, Happy Birthday Katniss I hope you get the peace you fucking deserve bestie!! Relax and REST for MY mockingjay for MY queen rebel.

Okay. What was my first impression? Well I read it for the first time at about ten years old and I desperately wanted to be Katniss. I've talked about this more than a few times in terms of like...why I identified so strongly with her. From her home town to her love of her sister. I genuinely felt very seen in Katniss. I loved her from the start, I have been her stan a long long time. And thats just from THG og, like pre catching fire pre mockingjay. I loved the way she loved her sister and who she was.

I find her likable! She's the main character and we do hear things from her brain. Which is funny, because she doesn't even like herself that much. But I think she's so real and so relatable in that she wasn't really some destined leader of a rebellion. She was just a normal girl who's simple acts of rebellion out of love and necessity turned into something so much bigger. She is funny! She is realistic. She is literally just a teenage girl who goes through SO much. she's just a kid. It's hard not to like her.

Strengths and weaknesses eh. Thats a post on its own and is better left to the everlark stans. I think her stregnth is the way she loves so deeply, and her weakness is also the way she loves so deeply. But likewise I think she has a weakness in not knowing how impactful she is, in how liked she is, and how loved she is. For all she loves she doesn't know how to accept it or see herself worthy of it in return. Love is both her strength and her weakness, though I don't think Love is truly a weakness at all. Anyway enough of THAT soapbox.

I absolutely do NOT want a new adaptation. LEAVE IT ALONE. my ONLY note would be pick someone 16. Someone the age of Katniss to really emphasize the horror of these games. make the tributes age accurate. Thats my only note. Like no 21 year old tributes. Make them 17 and 18. Show the GENUINE horror of how small teenagers are. the genuine youth. The life and light in their faces. That would be my ONLY note but also please dont speak this into the universe I dont want it.

Thank you!

@curiousnonny

[angryturtle27]

We are born. We cry. We shit ourselves. Cry some more. Then we grow into a toddler. Most think we are cute. We just started walking and are maybe talking a bit. Then we get to the age of 5 to 10. At the age where everyone starts turning into the people they are going to be. Great, we get to see brats that are spoiled or kids that are kind. 11 to 18. This age is the worst for some people. This is where every time you do stuffing it affects your life in the future. Hey, 16 year old, come think about college when your brain is still developing. This is a fucked up world. A 17 year old says I think I am going into marketing. Their friends ask why. The friends of this person know they have always been in love with the idea of making art. The 17 year old says: I think I need to find a more stable future. The friends say remember to think about your future happiness more than your future salary.

This is the world we live in. Parents wanting kids to give up on their dreams thinking they're helping their child. Thinking if they give up in the beginning it will hurt less than if they try and fail.

I love the quote "hurt people hurt". Most bullies are hurting in the inside. It might be because of a traumatic event or someone close to them died or did something to them. This is not always the case, but sometimes it is and we need to remember that. If you see someone struggling give them a hand.

Sometimes I feel like my shoes are glued to the ground. I know if I just took the shoes off I could leave, but if I take off the shoes then I would have to go find a better pair. Finding better shoes might take a long time so it would be easier just to stay in these shoes trapped.

I hope you get this metaphor I made. Don't be scared to leave something comfortable to find something better for you. Being a Lesbian in this world is hard for me sometimes. I want to help anyone that doesn't feel special or safe.

I love each and everyone who reads this. If you need help reach out to me on my Tumblr angryturtle27. I want to help people, make you feel loved. Let's help ourselves and each other. Love you. Good bye.

Sarah C. E

[mental-health-advice]

I know it'll probably be like 2 years until I get an answer but oh well ;;" need to get this off somewhere and ifk where else to turn

I'm so fucking scared rn like, I have a lot of teen friends (21 myself), and met some of them just this year, a few months before their 18th birthday. My brain lately has been telling me "what if I end up falling for them later on? Would that be weird? That would be weird bc I knew them as a minor, but they were only a minor for like 5-6 months when I knew them before becoming an adult"

Obviously I would never make a move on someone still 17 or freshly 18, that would be wrong and feel predatory. But I'm currently so scared of what if I fall for them later. Would it be weird for a 21-22 yo to like someone who is 18-19? Should I be scared of myself? It feels so wrong and it doesn't help that I barely have any 20-22yo friends bc I never got along with people my age

Hey there,

I think that it’s quite normal to have friends that are not in your own age group. For example I have a few good friends who are at least 8-10 years older than myself and that is purely due to them getting and understanding me better than anyone else. So please don’t be too hard on yourself as this happens more often than not.

I guess that for you, maybe you are more of a caring kind of person, maybe like a protector who looks out for those younger than yourself due to your personality. There is nothing wrong with this at all, it just shows that people your own age may not need as much caring as those of younger people and so why waste your attributes to those that you can’t really be there for when you can care for those who may need it more. Of course though, this may not be the case for you but I am just trying to show that people have different reasons for being friends with those from a different age group and it isn’t weird or something to be scared of at all.

You sound like a really mature person who knows right from wrong in that you would never make a move on someone under the legal age. This again shows that you are not doing anything wrong if you were to fall for them at a later stage, sometimes we can’t always help who we are drawn to but as long as they are of a specific age (so at least 18) then I personally don’t feel like it should be a problem.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

[anonil88]

Euphoria S2.E6 Liveblog

🍬🍬 Spoilers below 🍬🍬

Here we go um I have nothing to say my weekend has been a lot but here I am.

Rue and her mom just has to sit there and watch her work through it all.

Hospitals care regardless of if you are a good person or a bad one. Rue feels a lot like this currently.

She is going through it and its gonna be a long while before its over. Addicts aren't

Oh Gia that probably is so painful to watch this person who hurts you but loves you and you love them in unbearable pain.

Ali actually gives a fuck about you Rue, so you gonna have to boss up and apologize.

You're not who you are in addiction but you have to be accountable for the trauma and pain you caused in it. You're responsible for the fuck ups but they don't define you if you are actively trying to get better.

I love this Malcolm X shirt and I've seen it before but it's expensive as all hell. And now the way that finding it is about to be so much harder, hopefully they remake/reissue the shirt.

Apologies are hard but it needs to be done kiddo. He doesn't always know you mean it but no matter what he trusts that you do and he's open to listen. He is NOT the only one who deserves an apology though.

True euphoria is the true apology and the feeling after, thats a good title card.

Gia looks so grown up sitting on the couch but she is completely shut down and shut off. Wow Ali is breaking through to her thankfully. Someone is finally paying attention to Gia, FINA FUCKING LY. Her mom and everyone else needs to pay attention because i know Gia has a story. Hopefully we get to hear her side of things or just what is going on in her life in season 3. Anger might not help but you also need to feel something rather than swallow it all down. Gia your shield cracked a bit but thats good.

Nate deadass has like 100 messages and his family is finally free of Cal fucking Jacobs.

Oh damnnnnn Maddy is pissed. He loves Maddy's loyalty and how good she is by him.

Kat is a mood because she saw it coming from a mile away but its not great that she slut shamed or assumed things about Cassie without knowing her. She hated when people did it to her but she is 17 and I know some 17 year olds who say they don't judge anyone but surely do.

Ms. Katherine I need to get off your phone also Ethan woah back the hell up. Break up with him...girl you are not lying just to get out of a relationship with him. Kat you have an entire year left in school how are you going to lie about a brain disease for. This is shitty and it is gaslighting because she doesn't want to be the bad guy. She already doesn't like herself so being the bad guy in this breakup makes her feel even worse. There are insecure girls who do this because they want things to change but don't know how to say that. It's fucked up because hurt people hurt people but also because he gave her a chance to just say "I don't want to be with you."

Couldn't pay me to deal with teenage communication issues. Now I've got my mid twenties communication issues which are a bit easier with the tools I didn't have at that age.

What the fuck are they doing with these knives....oh her mom doesn't want Cassie to hurt herself.

Fezco this is terrible advice, y'all are adorable and maybe you should watch the movie together but this is terrible advice.

Cassie? Really Marsha you like Cassie that seems racist. Nate you should listen to your mom. Wait so everyone knows Nate has anger issues and didn't get him any fucking help? You're literally getting angry at your mom now so I don't think your anger is directed just to your dad.

Also drinking with your child and not having a limit, huh? Your child is a child even if he is 18, he isn't a drinking buddy or a surrogate for the love you fail to recieve from your husband.

Suze is telling the truth right here, you broke girl code Cassie.

Keep it just to spite you? Is that a confession not even based in guilt but just a confession about what she did to Cal? Um your son abused Maddy and you think its funny cause he protected you and she called you a bad name? Marsha you are twisted, just as twisted as Cal.

Here he is getting angry again and he's drinking and he did choke her.

Cassie? A cork screw? Really?

You knew he was a piece of shit and he bullied you and then he put his wee wee in you and you thought "he's my dream guy now". Girl.

Both of your parents are god awful Nate. Therapy was an option and nobody thought yea we should all go to therapy? And Marsha instead of putting her foot down and getting her boys some help she knows she raised a menace. AND STILL WON'T DO ANYTHING TO HELP HIM (because he'll always take care of his mom).

Nate is breaking down hmm there's more there and his mom is trying to unravel it all. I'm pretty sure it was the tapes but there's alluding that Cal hurt his son? But even if he didn't physically Nate saw his dad with people who weren't his mom and he was absolutely rotted and disgusted by his father. It's instilled a deep hatred that makes him angry at the world and himself and instead of pin pointing that anger at anyone else besides his dad he won't take accountability. "My anger was justified" thats why I put my hands on everyone instead of communicating without violence. Nah Nate that's just a violent unchecked ego. Guys like him admire the Joker and tell on themselves.

Nate IS a bad person, you're not about to throw Rue under the fucking bus Cassie. Your dad is just like her and you see him as reddemable bit not at all Rue. Her dad died and she turned to opioids because she's mentally ill, you bitch. And then to say that shit to your sister, really?

Cal said I've been fucking adults and messed up once, but y'all are not about to find these damn tapes. Also Nate you really want that business? Cause you absolutely do not.

Rue said fuck y'all lol, but also I wanna know what happens to Jules especially if she isn't around for season 3. Good on her for staying away from Elliot. Elliot as a character could have been written and introduced much better with more substance. I'm really trying to hold my critiques until the end but I have to say this. We are seeing these people through Rue's eyes but we also need to see them as completely rounded characters.

Maddy in the same dress she took off that woman. She wishes she had this woman's life but she doesn't see their life when she's not babysitting. My friend informed me that it was a camera in the clock and that is terrifying. Is this woman and her man watching Maddy try on stuff in the closet. Women predators do exist (Laurie sure out here exploiting people and children as well.)

Minka is the OG teen drama queen, Alexa is the next iteration. Oh wow Sam was the Cassie in the situation oof. Thank god some adult is a voice of reason and explains that being a young adult is messy as hell and part of it is craving love from any and everyone. But also can we stop giving underage kids alcohol especially when they have to drive home after, thats extremely inappropriate and dangerous to do.

(I just wanted one genuine good adult in another characters life besides Rue and Jules.)

Fezco and Lexi are so cute, I'm glad they watched the movie together.

Faye is being shifty as fuck.....ugh Custer. ASHTRAY CHECK THE DAMN CAMERAS. Chester Custer dumb mother clucker is a fucking idiot. These two are about to get my favs fucking shot by the cops or prison time. Now this is a rat not anyone else, this is a rat:

Nate is a fucking menace like bro just in the corner with a fucking gun, I'm laughing my ass off because of how horror movie boyfriend his ass is. I know that gun probably isn't even loaded and he knows she's as afraid of him as she is in love, so he's gonna use fear against her.

She gave it to Jules? Oh fuck it was loaded but he's unloading it and now taunting her. Nate is an entire abusive sociopath he is literally traumatizing her for a damn disk to protect a company? And if she is pregnant then she really could ruin your entire life still by keeping that unfortunate mistake.

Abort it.

Maddy never accepted that man's call, texts, etc. and he's on her like the damn Alien on Ripley ew, at least Rue has drugs clouding her judgement to make her an abusive partner unfortunately. He has trauma sure but he also sees nothing wrong about abusing her or anyone else. Evil ass. The Mary J and Meth is very well placed here.

Jules you better grab the box cutter from that promo. Apologize? And he's still using abuser tactics to coerce Jules into listening to him. What type of piece of shit? Oh he's doing it because he likes her and for a second thought she would be into him because of it? Get awayyyyy.

Great. Good to know, rmfe you fucking ruined her life and made it even harder for her to know what real love is like.

And he's gonna hop skip his ass back into Cassie's pants and she's completely alone so now he can just manipulate her like crazy. What makes me so mad about this is Cassie saw Maddy go through all of his abuse and thinks its gonna be different for her.

They gonna fuck and daydream about some fantasy life. And he likes that she fights back and hates him and is entirely reliant on him. How do people even think Nates hot like he looks so fucking evil right now, this is abuse.

I think Jules is gonna run away again and possibly for good. Which i hate but I know she hasn't taken down any memories of Rue in her room, its only been a few days/a week though.

Your sister is gone Lexi and it hurts but that doesn't mean you should say anything.

Yes that was rock bottom but you may hit new lows you never thought, even when sober post 20s. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

No Leslie let Gia get it out. She needs to let all of it out. They severely need to talk talk and Gia needs focus on her.

No one knows but Rue can try, she has one week until she goes back to rehab to make some amends. She is going to come back to a complete shit storm though when she's back. Ahem.

Yea Rue you need to talk to your sister. IF Rue comes back, but she would be leaving with a fucking mess for everyone but her to take care of.

You're in a bind momma Leslie, this is how this goes unfortunately realistically. Too many times and they won't let her into the facility, or there just aren't enough rooms so she's gonna need to thug it out without a program and find programs and help that isn't drugs at home.😪🙃

Episode thoughts: Thats life ain't it also can someone punt Nate through a wall. He's got trauma sure but he doesn't even use that or see that as an excuse for his actions. He wants a pissing match with everyone in his life so he can "be an alpha" who doesn't get help. Not shocked if he ends up like a worse dad than his dad because he'll actually believe he isn't fucking up his kids.

Preview thoughts: Yea from the promo and this episode with stand by me, whew. Also I told y'all this play is going to be an invasion of privacy and Nate is about to be exposed as a bad person to everyone hopefully, but so is everyone else's faults. I feel terrible for Gia if she is in that auditorium everyone knows Rue is an addict but no one knows about how Rue had an intervention part 2 and Gia will have to see her trauma on stage. Also if Fez told Jules business with Cal to Lexi. That is going to fuck up Nates life which shrug he kind of got a taste of that when everyone saw him as an abuser. But that would absolutely ruin Jules' and in that situation with Nate and his dad she just got caught in the middle and used as a pawn. Maddy hopefully doesn't have too much exposed because its not like no one knows he did hurt her but that could trigger her from his lil gun show. Sigh that play even if its well received from the audience its still wrong because those are not her stories to tell.

Until next time y'all. 🎇

[angy-mouse]

uhm to the anon just then. i want to say that first of, i don’t believe Mouse has said for people to put their age in their bio, just an INDICATIOR that they are over 18. because firstly, your right it isn’t our responsibility for viewing NSFW stuff, but we want to protect them from it until they are LEGALLY of age to view stuff like this. an ageless blog is concerning because you don’t know how old they could be and what they else they could be viewing on a mostly unfiltered app like tumblr. Mouse and every other NSFW writer aren’t asking for much, just an indication that you are over the legal age of viewing such content. it’s not sheltering them, it’s following the law, and protecting them from copious amounts of fake/unhealthy views on intercourse. So the best thing writer do is soft block until they have an indicator in your bio, it can be as simple as “from the 90’s”, it really isn’t much. so if you want to be lazy and voice an opinion on how “you shouldn’t really pressure people putting their age in their bios for anonymity” grow up, there are 7.5 billion people in the world that are the same age, if that isn’t enough anonymity about saying “i’m 23” or “i’m 18” then sit yourself into a fucken class room

thank you for wording what me and the other nsfw writers are doing better than I can, I never know how to explain it haha. I've had people tell me it doesn't matter because minors will lie about their age to get into this stuff, or it doesn't matter bc '17 is basically 18' (which turns into 16 is basically 17 etc), or they don't want to put their age in their bio bc they'll get creepy messages, even combining them and saying minors will put a fake age in their bio which will then lead to creepy messages and all I can say-

You might be right about all of that. There is a part of it that's about doing the right thing and trying to protect kids from the same thing I went through, but there's another part. I don't want to feel like there are children reading my porn. We talk alot of shit about people who knowingly break CC's boundaries, what about mine? Do I not deserve to have my needs respected because I'm just a writer? Because I write nsfw?

All of my interaction rules boil down to 'this is what upsets me and makes me uncomfortable, I've put it in a list so you can avoid accidentally upsetting me'. What is so hard about saying 'I don't want to be an asshole, so I'm not going to do the things that upset her'? Why do so many people stare that list in the eye and say 'this doesn't apply to me because I'm going to tell her how much I love her content. That's going to make it all better'?

If you're a minor, if you ignore my rules, if you think it's okay to say whatever you want as long as you tell me how cool I am, or if you think it's okay to tell me how much you hate me and you're only here for the content- I don't fucking want you here.

[sjweminem]

i’m unfortunately familiar w just stopping eating and it’s so. >:/ when my bf tries to Make me eat. like i’m sorry but i just. can’t. like it’s sweet and i understand his need to but i just Can’t and it upsets me. how do you feel when that kind of thing happens?? what do you do? (you can also answer this on the vann blog if u don’t want it on main. thank)

i'm not as influenced by others as i used to be- i'm almost 30 years old. i lived in my own apartment. et cetera et cetera, you know? 10 years ago my very very sweet boyfriend (who's actually kind of a Funnyman on here and absolutely hilarious) at the time wanted so badly for me to get better, he wanted so badly to help and would encourage every little bite i took. i felt bad for letting him down in general (i.e. refusing to gain weight), but most of all i was confused. being MY romantic partner sounded to me like an act of self-flagellation- did he not know he deserved better? now i know better than to let people too intimately close. it's dangerous.

in addition to my boyfriend my parents were still, at this stage of adolescence, able to control or at least play a role in certain things. for instance, when i was 5'8" and weighed something below 100lbs, my parents would not buy me any new clothes that fit my too-thin body- and at that age i depended on them for that sorta thing. i also depended on them for transportation at 16 & 17 (i chose not to get my license until i was 18) sooooo if i wanted to go to the gym and run myself half to death on the treadmill? too fucking bad. i'm sure there were lots of things i don't remember or that they did behind the scenes to keep some semblance of control.

at the time i was furious. my family was trying to take something from me! something that was ALL MINE! something that gave this ostracized autistic girl a purpose! now, however, i understand. i can't put myself in my mom's shoes (dad died so he luckily doesn't gotta deal w my shit anymore) as a parent and all that, but that control i resented so fiercely was an act of love.

now it's rather mundane, which is probably hard to contemplate if you yourself do not have very close, long-standing relationships with EDs (i've been at this 14 years). my mother has a lot of support so i don't worry too much about her, and she's one of seven kids with whom she's close, which is a relief to me. she's strong and practical- these 14 years have allowed HER to grow and learn too. all she wants for me now is to be Okay-enough to tolerate my time on this earth, however long or short that may be.

[bobbystompy]

68 Quotes I Enjoyed From 2019

Below are my favorite quotes from 2019. Though most occurred throughout the year, some took place before but were encountered during.

1) “I don’t bitch about Millenials.

John Entwistle once complained that he didn’t understand rap. Pete Townsend said, ‘It’s not our job to understand it. It’s our job to get the fuck out of the way.’

New generations come of age. The older generation’s job is to shut up and adapt.” - @danagould

2) “I can’t do drugs with you until we kiss.”

3) “If you pay me $50 I'll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.” - @DanaSchwartzzz

4) “A human being is a dangerous thing to let loose in a room with itself, when it cannot think.” - Roger Ebert

5) “There are no bad bourbons, only better bourbons.” - Dave Hernandez

6) “You can’t put a dollar in a kimono.”

7) “This is how it was.” - rampant takeaway from watching ‘Superbad’ several years after its release

8) “What if I had been born fifty years before you in a house on the street where you lived / Maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike / Would I know? / And in a wide sea of eyes, I see one pair that I recognize” - Ben Folds, ‘The Luckiest’

9) “Learn the rules so you can break them.”

10) “Nobody makes chili for two.” - Stacy Massey

11) “‘Best city in the world,’ I mutter to myself, as i adjust my ‘driving blanket’.” - Chicago resident Deanna Belos, during the 2019 Polar Vortex

12) “Dude, no one’s ever got arrested for listening to Counting Crows.” - Ricky O’Donnell, justifying late night music volume at his party

13) Bill Belichick: We’re going to have fun tonight. Rob Gronkowski: Yes we are. We deserve it. Belichick: You’re damn right. Gronk: I haven’t stepped out in like eight months. I gotta step out tonight. Belichick: I’m with you, man. I’m even going to step out. Gronk: Oh, I like it!

A Super Bowl winning exchange.

14) Center David Andrews thanked Bill Belichick for giving him "a shot".

Belichick disagreed with it.

Andrews: Thank you for giving me a shot. Belichick: A shot? I didn't give you shit. You earned it! I don't give anything.

Another Super Bowl winning exchange.

15) “We elected one of the very worst living human beings to be President, and it's exhausting. Each and every day, it's an exhausting slog, just to exist in a world where that's true.” - Michael Schur

16) “Some of y’all always picked Odd Job when you played Goldeneye and it shows” - @thedad

17) “Any app is a dating app if you try hard enough.” - Z.W. Martin (though he says it’s lifted)

18) "Once you're as woke as I am, you learn to feel bad all the time.”

19) “Everything’s a balance beam when you’re 90.” - John Dingell

20) [I wake up in a world where The Beatles never existed]

Me: Check out this song I just wrote

[I begin playing “Ob La Di Ob La Da” without having first built up years of goodwill]

Crowd of people: Wow, this sucks ass

-- @seanoneal

21) “People change people.” - Corey Matthews, Girl Meets World

22) “The easiest thing to do on earth is not write.” - William Goldman

23) “Dan could be like a difficult uncle. I didn’t love his fire-breathing conservative politics. I didn’t love the transformation that came over his novels. In Semi-Tough, he created two benighted Texas jocks and laid their prejudices bare. He was declaring himself a member of the Mark Twain coaching tree. In later books, Dan seemed to be trying to prove he could still tell a racist joke. He insisted that his memoir—the last truly immaculate piece of writing he delivered—include a tirade against political correctness. When his editor said people might be offended, Dan said, ‘Fuck people.’

There are certain writers whose style you pilfer. Certain writers whose moral fiber you try to inherit. For me, Dan represented a third category: a writer whose aura you replicate—or, failing that, try to stand in for a while.” - Bryan Curtis, on Dan Jenkins

24) “Never marry anything. Never choose. Even in love, it's better to be chosen.” - La Dolce Vita

25) “An uncluttered, uncomplicated happy ending might sound wonderful, but it’s hardly ever satisfying. Because the value of great stories lies in the tension between desire and need, between the yearning for the ideal, and the unshakable conviction that ideals don’t really exist, at least not the way we want them to. A great story should hurt a little when it leaves us. There should be some hope, but that hope should remain somewhere just an inch beyond our fingers, because that’s the truth. Even if you had all the perfect moments in the world, you’d still be reaching.” - Zach Handlen, on the Futurama series finale

26) “You can’t see him because he has sunglasses on.” - Alissa Levy

27) “The cinema is the greatest art form ever conceived for generating emotions in its audience. That's what it does best. (If you argue instead for dance or music, drama or painting, I will reply that the cinema incorporates all of these arts).” - Roger Ebert

28) “‘Are you gonna let politics ruin a friendship?’ 

Yes tf I am

People talk about politics as if it’s this isolated, abstract concept that only matters at election time. Somebody’s politics is their world view. It’s whether they think certain human beings deserve rights. It’s how they think the world should be. And if somebody thinks that the world should be colder, meaner, less accepting and downright hostile to people that are different to them, then sure as fuck is the friendship over.”

29) “Can the Supreme Court get me mushrooms?” - J-Papp

30) “Any song under two minutes already has a head start on its way into my heart. Just scream at me and then leave me.” - Drew Magary

31) “Long neck cold beers never broke my heart.” - Clemson Tom

32) “I’d just like to point out that the last spoken words of Game of Thrones were: 

‘I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel.’”

- @Authoroux

33) “Just once before I die, I want to toss my keys to someone and tell them ‘Bring the car around’.” - Mike Skully

34) “For all the weight they're given, last words are usually as significant as first words.” - Grand Maester Pycelle, Game of Thrones

35) “The best remedy for unrequited love is a trip around the world.” - Cheers

36) [on switching from a hotel to a motel]

Manny: I don't like the sound of that. A lot of amenities disappear when an H turns into an M. Jay: Hey when I met you, you were eating cereal out of a bucket.

-- Modern Family

37) “You and Lindsey don’t want to be ‘estranged’. Estranged is the relationship we want to have with our mothers.” - MegFil

38) “Cigarettes are undefeated.”

39) “My toes are like my fingers on my feet. I can pick stuff up with them.” - Tracy Cunningham

40) “Republicans govern without shame, Democrats shame without governing.” - Bill Maher

41) Sam: I don’t understand the vagaries of the Internet Josiah: Post often, without thought, and you’ll either get cancelled or cancel someone else.

-- Blink-155

42) “Hang a lantern on your problems.”

43) “What a weird web we weave.” - The Situation, The Jersey Shore: Family Vacation

44) “Let the ocean worry about being blue.” - Alabama Shakes, ‘Hang Loose’

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45) “Honesty without tact is cruelty.” - Shelley Rokos

46) “My whole life is the wrong porn link.”

47) “One parent can take care of 10 kids, but 10 kids cannot take care of one parent.” - Joe Gestetner, via “an old Yiddish saying”

48) “There are no heroes in the room.” - Classics of Love, ‘Gun Show’

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49) “If I am a little dismissive, it's only because of my harrowing backstory.” - Mitchell, Modern Family (on why he doesn't like sports)

50) “Every time I’m wearing black, I meet a dog.” - Tracy Cunningham

51) “Shower sex? Why would I fuck in my crying chamber” - @chridollarsign

52) “My theory about quarterbacks, having written about some of them, is you either have to believe in god or think you are a god.” - Mina Kimes

53) “The contradictions of capitalism always manifest in our lyrics if you look deeply.” - Blake Schwarzenbach of Jawbreaker, Riot Fest 2019

54) “Got a ‘hang loose’ from the weakside bartender.”

55) “It’s Jennifer’s birthday always.” - Eric Hutchinson 

56) “I can’t think of a less relevant artist in 2019 than Kanye West. A Jesus freak in a MAGA hat. Yeah, congrats dude -- you’re every grandma who watches ‘Young Sheldon’ and mails checks to Joel Osteen now.” - Dan Ozzi

57) “The past and future are in the mind. I’m in the now.” - Tom Brady, via someone else

58) “Sometimes you walk around boring places and you feel like the most exciting thing in it.” - Drew Magary

59) “Sitting is the new smoking.” - Modern Family

60) “I'll straight up fight folks at a book club and discuss books at a fight club I really don't give a shit anymore.” - George Wallace

61) “Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.” - Rose Garvey via wine country

62) “It’s all ‘ok boomer’ until you need someone who can drive stick shift.” - @OrdinaryAlso

63) “He likes the result of the math.” - Dad, talking about my worst subject frustrating during the process but satisfying in the end

64) Stepmom: Do you want a Bears urn or Alabama urn? Dad: Ask me after they play Auburn.

65) “A cold body carries a warm heart.” - Stefanos Tsitsipas’ Instagram, after his Iceland sabbatical

66) [preparing a dish called the Sandwich of Justice with his friend’s recipe]

"The fun thing about it is when you give it to someone, you can say 'Justice is served.’ That's, uh, Ryan's line. I built my whole life on the backs of my friends." - You Suck At Cooking

67) “Usually three people can keep a secret only when two of them are dead.” - The Irishman

68) “An artist can't control who consumes their content any more than a chemist can control how their chemicals are used once they're created.” - Brian Crooks

[migleefulmoments]

"Why do you think it is OK to be so vile and vicious?" (1) LOLOLOL, you have got to be kidding me. Pot, meet big fucking kettle. (2) Most (not all) of those comments are neither vile nor vicious; they're simply hard to hear, as the truth often is. We believe you believe your theories are true, AJW. Unfortunately, you believing (and wishing and hoping) something is true doesn't make it true. For EVERY argument you make, I could make an equally strong counter that C hates D. Doesn't make it true!

2nd Anonymous said: Is this supposed to be her feel sorry for me post because she literally hates on strangers all day every day. “ajw720*tumblr*com/post/182606038445/in-my-time-here-i-have-been-called it’s very hard to feel sympathy for her when she bullies a woman she doesn’t know because she interferes with her fantasy.

3rd Anonymous said: AJW's on her poor widdle victim's martyr cross again. Anyone got any violins? She's the victimiest victim to ever victim, you know! All I'm imagining is a giant middle-aged baby in a diaper spitting her paci out and throwing a tantrum that big meanies are calling her names. You're right, sounds a lot like Trump.

She can’t even see how vile and vicious she is to Mia or to anons...or to Darren.  She hates his beloved bar-which is by itself very disturbing. Add her attacks on his fiancee, his friends -Starkid in particular but others as well. Also his team Ricky, and Michael, his brother- Chuck and even Darren himself when he Isn’t acting gay enough. She can’t see that she doesn’t like real Darren-that so much of what he does she bitches about and blames on his team as a way to excuse the behavior she doesn’t like as “not his fault”. She hates the bar that he loves.  The bar that is so quintessentially Darren. 

It is impossible for her to hear the truth. She has refused many times- today we just got a complication, the greatest hits of the last 3 years.  She never sees herself in anyone’s critique .  

Since she has no self-reflection, Let’s do it for her:

1.homophobic-funny, because she replied to my ask and called me homophobic once. 

2. misogynistic; I have discussed this many times and she is absolutely a misogynist. If you hate a woman you don’t know at all-a complete stranger- and you hate her because you attribute negative stereotypical female behaviors to her, that is misogyny. 

3.  xenophobic; she probably had an anon who speaks English as a Second Language and she attacked her for grammar or word mistakes.  She probably deserved this label. 

4. a fucking cunt; I hate the word cunt.  But more importantly, I have realized that it NEVER helps to attack her with anything even close to a vicious attack because she gets very self-righteous in her anger.  She lashes out in anger. Not only will she will just attack back, it feeds that self-righteous anger.  So kill her with kindness and intellectual arguments.    

5. an alcoholic cunt; Again I hate that word. If the only photos you post are of your wine glasses AND you call Mia an alcoholic every chance you get, you are probably going to get some pushback with this label. 

6. I have been told to go fuck myself; I hope people aren’t telling her to go fuck herself.  It just feeds her self-righteousness. Attack her with smart, intelligent facts and be nice.  

7. gay fetishist; If you obsess about the genitals of two men who are NOT  in a relationship, you believe Darren acts “Daisy” and you believe all kinds of outdated stereotypes about gay men- like they are scared of boobies- you are fetishizing gay men.  

8. slut; This seems uncalled for.  It’s rude and she never talks about sex so don’t call her a slut.  

9. told to see a therapist; Well....when you believe a richly-detailed fantasy that 1. isn’t any of your business 2. there is literally NO evidence the men are a couple or ever have been aka you have and continue to make it all up  3. both men have denied your fantasy 5. one of the men is straight  6. both men are in long-term relationships with other people  7. you believe you love one of the men 8. you believe you are a better fan than anyone else and 9. you think that you are “collecting receipts” for Darren because you don’t have an NDA- and by “receipts” you mean social media posts -seeing a therapist is a good idea.    

10.  been questioned on having friends as no one would ever want to be friends with someone like me; that’s mean. But when you never present as a very angry, cruel person in every post you make, someone is going to say this. 

11. old hag; This is just mean... but to a  20 year old, I suppose 44 seems old.   

12. essentially told that I brainwash people; you do. If you create a “fact” that is entirely made up in your head (for example “Darren and Chris are married”) and you keep repeating it until your fandom believes and repeats it, that is brainwashing.

13. a liar; When you make up stories (see #12) and portray them as facts, you are a liar.  

14. a fraud (apparently I am not a lawyer, English is my second language, and I did not go to an ivy league school); Maybe you should analyze what you DO that makes other people believe you aren’t a lawyer, English speaking or went to an Ivy League school? I’ll give you some hints: proofread your posts,  don’t posts something like this  “ajw720 Why do frspetate to read put blogs?” and then leave it on your blog. As for not being a lawyer: stop misrepresenting POAs, contracts, NDAs, “facts”, contracts, the rights and responsibilities of a manager, contracts, breaching, morality clauses...those are good places to start.   

15.  ignorant; about?

16.  delusional, delusional fuck, and delusional idiot; When you fabricate stories about 4 complete strangers, proclaim to know more than their friends and families and write posts about exactly what they are thinking, you're delusional.

17.  Devoid of knowledge on how contracts and morality clauses work; All this is 100% true...or maybe you understand them, but you lie about Darren’s contracts and morality clause to fit your trope. 

18.  middle age frau; Again, to a 20 year old, 44 seems ancient.  

19.  Creepy; If you believe you know everything about a complete stranger, you're creepy. If you don’t understand boundaries between a celebrity and a fan who is a complete stranger, you're creepy. Systematically claiming that EVERY SINGLE THING that Darren says about himself is a lie and YOU know the truth is creepy.

20.  Living in a Fictional World; Yep, 100%. CC is NOT real- it is FICTION- and you are the head writer. 

21.  A Truther; Let’s define truther “a person who doubts the generally accepted account of an event, believing that an official conspiracy exists to conceal the true explanation; a conspiracy theorist” Literally exactly what CCers do and are proud of.  They constantly proclaim that they are too smart to fall for the PR narrative and THEY have alternative facts. How can she deny this? A little self awareness is always a good thing.  

22.  I’ve been disparaged for calling D a victim of abuse; You should be- Darren has never so much as hinted that he is abused. It’s all made up in YOUR head.  When you claim someone is abused ONLY because it fits YOUR narrative, you are belittling real the experiences of real victims.  You are belittling the horror they go through and doing so simply because you think it adds to your fantasy.  

23.  A cult leader; As the leader of the CC truthers, I’d say you are a cult leader but let’s again look at the definition.  The 3rd definition of Cult on Google “is a misplaced or excessive admiration for a particular person or thing."a cult of personality surrounding the leaders" synonyms:obsession with, fixation on, mania for, passion for” That describes the CC fandom and you are the self-appointed leader.  

24.  I have been told that I hate D; When you criticize  real Darren for everything he does that doesn’t fit your vision of who he is, when you label him a jerk, college frat bro, and no-homo dude AND blame those behaviors on “his team”, that means you don’t actually like Darren. You LOVE CC Darren, a man who doesn’t exist outside of your head but the real Darren is problematic.  

25. I have been told that D&C would be embarrassed by me; Both men have asked you to stop, both men have told and continue to tell their truth and you continue to discount everything they say because it doesn’t prove CC is real. The “truth” that you fabricate about both men’s lives does not look anything like the lives they are leading-the lives everyone can see-except you. Embarrassed by the CCers stalking their friends’ accounts and then telling them they are wrong about Mia, or Chris & Darren, or just writing CrissColfer a million times. Embarrassed that you guys go in to their comment sections and attack fans who tell you to stop- even if YOU specifically don’t do it- and I know at least ONE of the main CCers does-the words that are used are literally the words that you use- it’s your fantasy.  I think they would be more angry than embarrassed.

26.  Cancer of the Fandom I got nothing for this one.

I have talked about her lack of self awareness before but this is a textbook example of how she can’t take any criticism- it is all immediate rejected.  Yesterday’s YOU WILL RESPECT ME rant is another example of the lack of awareness. I mean, the ”truther” accusation is absolutely SPOT ON and yet she can’t see it.  

I don’t write this blog to belittle or make fun of her or the CCers.  I certainly don’t to change her believes because she won’t change- she is in too far, she thrives on the attention she get....but mostly, she can’t see what she is doing. She can’t see that she is so deep into a fantasy that has been entirely fabricated and since Glee ended, fabricated mostly by her.  She can’t see that her lies are getting all caught up in one another now that she has to explain why Chris and Darren have no connection and Mia and Darren are everywhere together as a couple. She has to keep fabricating excuses for why Darren continues to say he is straight and that he loves Mia. She can’t see that it’s very obvious to the rest of us to see that Chris and Darren have no relationship and Darren and Mia are building a life together. This post proves how much she can’t see outside of her own fantasy. 

I write this blog because I couldn’t stand that CC lies were being pumped out every day and they existed unchecked. They started claiming their fantasies were facts...period.  I couldn’t stand anons asking-begging CCers for proof and they were told “it’s a fact” trust me, don’t question it.  The only info anyone could find -if they did go looking- were CC lies. I needed there to be a place where the truth sits.

If I was interested in simply making fun of them, I wouldn’t spend so much time finding facts- photos, videos, old posts to prove they are misconstruing the truth. 

Sometimes my anons get a little snarky- maybe we can tone that down a little so we don’t give her ammunition for her pity party.