#16 is the weakest but i think 17 pulls it all together better than i remember and i enjoyed it more than i expected to

[epsigone]

ok wait the first half of season 17 is way funnier than i remembered it being

[asciendo]

Make it Right

Jean was the cocky bastard that walked around like he owned the place. Y/N couldn't stand so when the time came that you were his sparring partner, you couldn't wait to teach him a lesson.

Little did the both of you know, that sparring match would be the start of your unexpected relationship with Jean Kirschtein, that will change your life, and the rest of the Scout Regiment forever.

Canon with the AoT anime with a few changes.

Starts from the final days of training.

First ever story so be nice n leave comments please hehe!!

Chapter 2 / Chapter 3/Chapter 4/Chapter 5/Chapter 6/Chapter 7/Chapter 8/Chapter 9/Chapter 10/Chapter 11/Chapter 12/Chapter 13/Chapter 14/Chapter 15/Chapter 16/Chapter 17/Chapter 18/Chapter 19/Chapter 20/Chapter 21

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Don't let your mouth get you into something your ass can't                                                     handle

It was another day training with the 104th Cadet Corps and you were in the dining hall seated with Connie, Sasha and Armin. 3MG gear training just finished and you were proud of yourself for sharing the highest rank in class with Mikasa. Sasha was eating her loaf of bread like she's never eaten in her life before with Connie staring at her in bewilderment while Armin was asking you for advice about combat training this afternoon.

"I've been having a hard time countering attacks...I know what to do but I just can't seem to predict my opponent's movements..." Armin stated while looking down at his hands. "It's best to study their body movements. Observe where they're shifting their weight to, so you know which side they're at their weakest. It's all about observation. It's tricky but once you get it, you'll be countering every punch or kick in no time!" You assured him as he smiled lightly at you.

"I can't believe I have to spar with Potato Girl today." Connie rolled his eyes while Sasha shot daggers at him with a mouth full of food. "I've got Marco, he's always been helpful so I can work on my countering attacks with him." Armin sighed in relief.

"Who have you got, Y/N?" Sasha asked while chewing on her bread. "I'm with Jean."

"Oh, he hasn't lost has he..." Armin said. "Yeah, but I haven't lost either." You smirked. You couldn't wait to spar with Jean, actually. He walks around with that cocky grin on his face thinking he's better than everyone. He and Eren get into fights almost every day over the stupidest things and it infuriated you.

"Ready to get your ass whooped, Y/L/N." A smug voice rang in your ear as you looked up to Jean towering over you with his arms crossed.

"In your dreams, Horse face." You shot back and Jean's smirk turned into a scowl. "You know, I can go easy on you if you ask nicely."

"I'd rather drop dead." Smiling innocently at him, he scoffed and turned to walk away. "Don't say I didn't warn you when I kick your ass later."

"You're an idiot if you think I'm losing to someone joining the Military Police." You shot back and Jean stopped. "We'll see about that."

"Ugh, I can't wait to wipe that smug grin off that Horse face." You turned back to your table in anger.

"Oh, this is going to be interesting." Connie chuckled and high fived Sasha.

It was finally time for combat training and you couldn't wait to put Jean in his place. Yes, he was stronger than you, but you were faster and more agile than he was. You made your way up to the training field and Jean was already in place.

You walked towards him and smirked while he had that stupid cocky grin on his face. "Are you sure you don't want me to go easy on you?" he teased.

"Don't let your mouth get you into something your ass can't handle, Jean." You rolled your eyes and took your stance.

"If you wanna know what my mouth I can do, I can probably show you better than I can tell you." Other than being a cocky asshole, Jean was known to be the biggest flirt and hit on almost all the girls in the cadet corps.

"BEGIN!" Shadis' voice suddenly echoed in the air and Jean immediately lunged at you. But you dodged him. You kicked his shin and he bent down but he grabbed your arm and twisted it so your back was facing his.

Wiggling your way through, you turned back to face him and kicked him in his stomach which caused him to bend down in pain. You were about to knee him in his head but he grabbed you by the waist and tackled you onto the floor. You quickly wrapped your legs around his waist and squeezed his body into a submission lock. He pinned your arms over your head but you just squeezed your legs tighter and he grunted in pain.

"ENOUGH! COMBAT TRAINING IS OVER!" Shadis yelled. As he walked passed you and Jean to assess the winner, he declared it was a draw which caused you to shout in frustration.

When Shadis left, you hadn't noticed that you and Jean haven't moved from your position, with him on top of you and your legs wrapped around his waist. You locked eyes with his and then quickly looked away and blushed as you released him from your leg lock and the both of you got up.

There was an awkward silence between the two of you so you immediately stomped off the training grounds.

At the dining hall, you were still annoyed that Shadis declared your fight with Jean to be a draw. You stood up and left but decided to return to the training grounds to let off some steam with a punching bag.

You were busy letting out your anger until you heard footsteps behind you.

"You know I won, right." A cocky voice suddenly rang in your ear and you knew it was Jean.

"I had you in a submission hold, dumbass." You said through gritted teeth as you continued your boxing session.

"I pinned you. That means I won!" he walked closer which only made you more annoyed. Suddenly, you shifted your target from the punching bag to Jean. You swung at him but he dodged your punch but his facial expression showed he was shocked at your outburst. "WHAT THE—"

You swung again but this time he caught your fist. "I want a rematch."

Jean smirked with delight at your request then suddenly swept you from under your legs. "AGH!" you looked up and saw him smirking in triumph but you suddenly kicked his shin which gave you time to get up. He swung at you but missed then you elbowed his chin which caused him to stagger back.

He reached out to hit your side but you dodged him then swept him with your feet. He fell with a thud and you smirked above him. Suddenly, Jean grabbed your leg before you could jump away from him and he had you in a leg-lock. You twisted your body to try to escape but he kept holding on. You managed to slither out and stand back up and he was up on his feet as well.

You swung and he dodged then you kneed his stomach, which caused him to curl over. But then he grabbed your waist then flipped you so your back was facing his and had you in a headlock. You struggled to walk to a nearby tree then you kicked, trying to flip over but Jean pulled you back as soon as your legs were in the air and you were back in the headlock. You attempted to elbow him but he dodged know you were face-to-face with Jean's arms on your shoulders and your arms wrapped around his. You stared at each other for a moment, not knowing what the other would do, then Jean's eyes softened for a moment as you realized your faces were so close together. Your grip on his arms loosened as you attempted to break away, confused about what was going on like this never happened before when the both of you sparred. Suddenly, Jean pinned your arms above your head and looked straight into your eyes. Confused, you tried to escape but he pressed his hips on yours, and you were stuck. Both of you were breathing heavily and you noticed Jean's gaze shift down to your lips.

"Jean what are you—" before you could finish, Jean's lips crashed onto yours. Your eyes shot open in surprise but quickly grabbed onto his hair as he pressed his body closer to yours. You felt his tongue on your lips, begging for entrance and you parted yours, allowing Jean in. Jean snaked his arms around your waist as you arched your back forward to feel his body close to him.

You quickly flipped him so his back was against the post and he smirked at your sudden desire for him. Before he could say anything you kissed him deeply and you heard a moan escape his lips. Suddenly, you kneed him in his stomach and he yelled out in surprise as you pushed your forearm on his neck. "I win." You smirked, and walked away, leaving Jean breathless and stunned.

[anxious-little-faicye]

CAMP UNUS ANNUS SAFETY RULES!

Rule #1 - Always remember the BS (Buddy System).

Rule #2 - When confronted by a bear (depending on the type of bear), confront it back and make lots of noises. But keep in mind, only do that for Black Bears.

Rule #3 - Bears can't get through the polyurethane of a tent. Plastic repels nature, since it's not of this world.

Rule #4 - The forest doesn't give a damn about you. Arrogance will get you nowhere.

Rule #5 - If you're stuck in a tree alone and two people happen to come across you, they are buddies. Don't just assume because another human life is nearby that they're obligated to help you.

Rule #6 - You help those in need though.

Rule #7 - Communication is key.

Rule #8 - Look, scan, observe, react, run.

How to survive a bear attack:

Rule #9 / Step Number 1 - Evaluate, determine which type of bear it is that it's attacking you.

Rule #10 - If the bear grunts twice it's a Grizzly, if it grunts three times then it's a Polar Bear.

Rule #11 - When dealing with Polar Bears, the biggest thing you want to do is make sure that you're covered head to doe, with as much armor as possible (sleeping bags work just fine).

Rule #12 / Step Number 2 - Try to maintain silence, maybe it'll go away on it's own.

Rule #13 / Step Number 3 - If step 2 fails, abandon all coverage plans, because clearly it's not going to work. However, you don't need to worry, because your tent is safe as long as the bear doesn't claim it as it's own by attracting other bears as competition.

Rule #14 - It is very important that when you go shopping for your tent (or you're finding your tent), you get one that's strong, triple layer made of the highest quality material.

Rule #15 - If the bear attacks with a gun, make sure you cover all of the important parts of your body. The smaller the target the harder it is for a bear to get you.

Rule #16 / Step Number 4 - This is an emergency step, you would never do this unless you were in a extremely dangerous situation... just run. With the help of your buddy (don't forget the buddy system!) you will roll the tent from the inside away from the bear.

Rule #17 - It's important to remember where your tent was when you pitched it.

Rule #18 - At this point the bear should be very intimidated by your skill and athleticism. It may think you and your buddy are now one large creature.

Rule #??? - RAGE, rage against the dying of the light...

Rule #19 - After all that escaping protocol, the bear should be gone by now. But in the case that it's not, just keep going rolling away in the tent.

Rule #20 - Bears are afraid of the sunlight, they can't handle it's intense heat.

Rule #21 / Step Number 5 - And finally, to escape the tent, you have to find it's weakest point and destroy it.

Rule #22 - Nature it's a dangerous place filled with evil, horrible monstrosities that are beautiful in their own way.

How to safely bury your friend:

Rule #23 - Carcasses can attract bears and other wildlife that are opportunistic scavenges.

Rule #24 - For this process you're going to need a shovel and a buddy.

Rule #25 - Don't forget the Buddy System (B.S) or you will DIE.

Rule #26 - The first thing you're going to do is search the area for a proper place for a burial. You want a place with some soft dirt, plenty of open space, and not too near to the campsite.

Rule #27 - Dig six feet down (at the least), so you can put their feet first, then head at the top.

Rule #28 - Your dead body will grow into the environment.

Author's Note: ... I don't trust counselors Mark and Ethan.

Rule #29 - B.D.S.B (Bearing Doesn't Stop Bears)

Rule #30 - You are also going to need a quality shovel that can break through. You want a sharpen blade and a good foot rest.

Rule #31 - Do not, under ANY circumstances, mention the Tactical Shovel to counselor Mark.

Rule #32 - When you're digging a grave you should bring water, remember to stay hydrated!

Rule #33 - You can only absorbe so much sweat you produce. After a while it gets unhealthy, because your body can't filter out the bad water that you produce.

Rule #34 - You piss out of your skin when you can't piss out of anywhere else. So if you drink that, but then you piss it out again, then it becomes Super Piss (and that's not good to consume). But if you drink that then it turns into Ultra Piss, which is very valuable but bad to ingest. It's also incredible dangerous because, while bees can smell fear, they can also see the vapors from the Ultra Piss. So, although rare and easy to sell to a high price, it would attract thousands of bees.

Rule #35 - B.E.C.W.U.B (Be Extra Careful With [the] Ultra B[P]iss)

Rule #36 - The forest is one of the most polluted places, you can't get a breath of fresh air.

Rule #37 - Your buddy is always a breath of fresh air. (Hey, please don't do what Mark and Ethan did on the video, COVID-19 is still a very, very real thing.)

Rule #38 - Once you are done digging the grave, lay the body on a fetal position. Remember to really support the spine.

Rule #39 - If you can, get a standing grave, it's great for the spine.

Rule #40 - You can feel more productive when you are standing.

Author's Note: ... I really, REALLY don't trust counselors Mark and Ethan. I knew that bacon tasted kinda odd-

Rule #41 - Now all that's left to do is lay your friend to rest.

Rule #42 - Now you can go ahead and say words of rememberness, a testament to their life.

Rule #43 - The truth is the nicest gift you can give anybody.

Rule #44 - If you listen closely when your friend is later rest, you can hear their soul whisper their final thoughts.

Rule #45 - Remember to hit counselor Mark with a stick for waking us up at 6 am using a pan.

Rule #46 - Team building is the most important part of being on a camp. Because you may have your buddy, but we are all a team.

Rule #47 - Trust is the very foundation of any team.

Rule #48 - At any moment your buddy can need you. You'll never know when a bear is going to strike, when a chipmunk is going to go rabid, when a raccoon is going to be sneaky. You've got to be prepared for anything. And above all, you need to be prepared to catch your buddy if they fall.

Rule #49 - When you're in the nature, you are going to be climbing on a lot of things. They may be slippery surfaces, you may be not sure of your footing. You've got to be prepared at any time to catch your buddy.

Rule #50 - The higher the fall the greater the trust. Anyone from your team could be falling at any moment, make sure to catch them.

Rule #51 - Trust counselors Mark and Ethan...?

Rule #52 - Your buddy can fall in any direction, you've got to be ready.

Rule #53 - With a trust fall you've got to trust your buddy, but you gotta trust yourself too.

Rule #54 - No better way to exhibit a team than to show your strength together (by making a human pyramid).

Rule #55 - Tug of War, classic team building from earliest man. Get a rope and you pull, but you've got to make two teams so you can compete and defeat their respective enemy (and they need to die).

Rule #56 - Don't forget, it's hot outside, so make sure you wear your sunscreen and drink plenty of water.

Rule #57 - Start in the middle (the knot needs to be in the middle), and whoever gets it to the point where the winner is obvious.... well, wins precisely.

Author's Note: UNUS! UNUS! UNUS! UN- oh, nevermind.

Rule #58 - The next most important part of team-building is sharing. Sharing with eachother is basically bonding. You learn from eachother, you have openness with eachother, and so on.

Rule #59 - The clue to win Three Legged Pace is coordination.

Rule #60 - It's always important when you go out outside to be prepared, and of course, bring water.

Rule #61 - Make sure to keep cool when you're in the wilderness, it is important for survival. And when you're done drinking water, you can play a little football with your friend using the leftover bottle.

Rule #62 - While playing Three Legged Egg Balance, remember to keep a steady "one-two" rhythm.

Rule #63 - FIRE IS NO JOKE. Don't play around with it.

Rule #64 - Knowing how to built a fire is one of the most important skills at Camp Unus Annus. With it you can cook your food, disinfect your water, clean your clothes, stay warm and call grandma.

Rule #65 - And if your grandparents are death, stare deeply into the fire until you see their face swim out of the flames.

Rule #66 - Fire is spelled F-I-R-T. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

Author's Note: Wait a second, are they not Camp Counselors?-

How to built a fire:

Rule #67 / Step Number 1 - Be aware of the current threat level for forest fires. Right now it's midnight. That's B, for Be aware.

Rule #68 / Step Number 2 - Kindling. Be aware, get kindling, find perfect stick (B.A.G.K.F.P.S)

Rule #69 (nice) - Remember, if you want to start a fire get your bag of piss.

Rule #70 / Last Step - Friction. The friction of the stick (zooming around in circles) against the friction of a wooden piece creates smoke signals. The smoke signals will travel to your candling and say "Hey, catch on fire." And in response it will sometimes go "Okay" in an umberwear farm. The umbers are what leads to the fire in an it case of a FIRE. Very important.

Rule #71 - Always have a fire extinguisher (preferably water) just in case something goes wrong.

Rule #72 - Put your prefect stick on your wood base and start rubbing said stick against it.

Rule #73 - Gently blow the base after rubbing the stick, fire needs oxygen to grow.

Rule #74 - If you manage to make a hole through the base, leave the stick there and start spinning it. With the power of insertion, if you get it going fast enough, flames should ignite.

Rule #75 - Fire needs to be seduced.

Rule #76 - To produce the flames you need to sin.

Rule #77 - Satan knows.

Rule #78 - For the love of God, keep counselor Mark away from sharp objects.

Author's Note: ... Does anyone else see the weird man dressed in a black suit outside or it's just me...?

Rule #79 - No matter what goals you may have in life, a little bit of hard work, a little bit of determination, a bit of luck gets you anywhere.

Author's note: Yay escape room! I love those!

Rule #80 - Beware of counselor Evan throwing things at the tents.

Rule #81 - On daytime the bats are squirrels, but on nighttime they are vampires. For this reason you shouldn't be around bats, or they will suck your blood.

Rule #82 - Counselor Mark really loves riddles.

Rule #83 - Stay six feet away from the trees to avoid being attacked by a squirrel.

Rule #84 - The most dangerous things about the deers are their antlers and hooves.

Rule #85 - To survive the snakes you need to: Look, Observe, Scan, React, Run (L.O.S.R.R)

Author's Note: Counselor Ethan is fucking smart, fight me. Also, shout out to counselor Amy because not once have I mentioned her and she's amazing.

Rule #86 - Run away from Mark. JUST RUN.

Rule #87 - Tragically, counselor Mark has turned into the beast called Neanderthalensis Marconius, also known as HeeHoo.

Rule #88 - HeeHoo feeds himself with wild Takis, roaming around the woods butt naked and in solitude...

Rule #89 - If you wish to communicate with the HeeHoo, there are sounds he will react to: Unus Annus.

(And here it is, after nights of work I present to you the -not so official- Unus Annus Rule Manual! This has been a blast, I am so glad I could finally finish it. Camp Unus Annus was absolutely amazing in every sense of the word, thanks Mark, Ethan, Amy and Evan for the experience!)

@tiny-crecher (I am SO sorry-)

@markiplier @crankgameplays

[ghostofviperwrites]

Suzuki Gunz Crime Family - Chapter 16

Warnings:  criminal activity, explicit language

April 29, 2003

Minoru sat staring at the empty conference table, a long forgotten tumbler of scotch near his right hand that tapped impatiently on the wooden surface.   Minoru was a man that thrived on plans and contingency plans to those plans.  He didn’t like when things didn’t follow their expected path.  Not only had things veered off course, but they had taken twists and turns he hadn’t even considered.  That was what had Minoru in such a foul mood. He prided himself on seeing what no one else did, and the last few months had proven him fallible. 

Since Los Ingobernables had come into their lives Minoru was learning some valuable lessons.  Lessons that tasted like bitter crow at the moment, but he knew they were going to help him become a stronger leader at the end of it all.   He just had to push back at the sting to his pride look at things from an outsider’s perspective. 

The bonds of trust were still tenuous at best between the Guns and Ingos, but they were slowly forming.   The two groups worked rather well together when they weren’t trying to kill each other.   The fact that there hadn’t been any major bloodshed was being counted as a victory in Minoru’s book.  Especially considering more than half of his kobun had wanted to murder Evil over the course of their weapons training.   Minoru was positive the feeling was mutual. 

Taka was very good at what he did, but when it came to Bushi and his intelligence gathering skill the Guns always seemed a step behind, a fact the Ingos delighted in.   It rankled thinking you were the best only to discover you weren’t.   Rather than letting his shortcomings bring him down he was honing his skills, shadowing Bushi on the daily and trying to soak in every bit of knowledge the masked man had.   Minoru had been concerned as Bushi hadn’t seemed willing to share the secrets of his trade, but over the past week or so he had begrudgingly started sharing tidbits with Taka.  

Aside from Evil’s training and Taka’s shadowing of Bushi, Minoru hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the other Ingobernables brethren.   In fact, until a few hours ago he hadn’t heard so much as a peep.   The phone call from Naito had been the precursor for the council meeting Minoru had called.  The reason he was sitting in this empty conference room stewing at being one step behind yet again.   He shouldn’t be receiving news second hand.  How did the Ingos always manage to get one foot up on them?

It was a solemn group who filed into the room one by one, their moods a direct reflection of their boss’s.  They didn’t know what had him in a snarl, but his tone had made it clear he wasn’t to be trifled with. 

“Does anyone care to fill me in on why Tetsuya Naito has to call me to impart information?” Minoru growled flashing a murderous glance around the table, watching as eyes lowered from his and bodies shifted uncomfortably before pinning his glare on Taka.  

Taka shriveled beneath Minoru’s censure, sinking back in his chair and swallowing hard.  

“Tell me Taka, what is Naito coming to tell me?” Minoru asked coldly. 

“I…I don’t know sir.”  Taka said softly lowering his head in shame.  

“Anybody?” Minoru asked turning his sharp eyes on the rest of his kobun.  “Does anybody in this fucking room know anything?”   Rising to his feet and slamming his palms down on the table with a resounding smack as nobody spoke up. 

“Tranquillo Minoru,” Naito’s voice from the doorway had them all spinning towards the sound finding the Los Ingobernables leader leaning insolently against the frame.

“How the fuck do you always get in my goddamn house?”  Minoru shouted throwing his hands up in exasperation. 

“And I will not tranquillo” He spat as he sat back in his seat.  “Not when I’m always in the fucking dark.”

Naito sniffed and cast a disparaging look at the assembled men, making his way to the end of the table and taking a seat, throwing his feet up on the polished surface.

“Yes.  Once again it seems it falls to us to fill you in.”  Naito said with a frown.  “Your lack of….diligence for want of a better word, is troubling my comrades.”  He stared dispassionately at Minoru.  “They’re beginning to question our alliance.   Wondering what you bring to the table?” 

Minoru stayed quiet though he wanted to defend his men.  At this moment he couldn’t.  What had they provided to benefit the Ingos? 

“Evil seems to think we’re doing all the work and you’re getting all the benefit.”  Naito continued.  “He makes a valid point.  And now our families are oh so conveniently bound together.” 

Lance shot to his feet with a growl, sneering at Naito.

“You morons are the ones that insisted on the fucking marriages!” 

“Lance sit down and shut up!  This isn’t the time.” Minoru barked staring down the larger man until he slid back into his seat. 

Naito smirked and nodded in concession to Lance with a slight bow of his head.  

“We came to you because you showed promise.”  Naito said looking around the room.  “I still think you have promise.  My boys are a little more impatient than I am, but they’ll come around.  We are family after all.”  His tooth filled grin earned a snarl from Davey. 

“In case you haven’t noticed we’re in the middle of a fucking war!”  Davey exploded.  “Can you quit wasting time with your bullshit?” 

As Naito stared impassively back at him Davey’s fist clenched, itching to bury themselves in his smug face.  Seeing things quickly escalating Minoru stepped in. 

“Davey’s correct.  Time is of the essence.  We don’t have time for your little games.” Minoru said through gritted teeth.  “Now, did you come here to flagellate us for our shortcomings or do you actually have something to say?” 

Stretching languidly just to irk Minoru’s already frayed temper, Naito slowly lowered his feet to the ground in a big show before getting serious.  

“Chaos imploded two days ago.”  He began ignoring the outbursts the announcement brought.   “Civil war within.  Several high ranking members broke rank and joined up with Bullet Club.  Including Okada’s right hand man Gedo.  Which means you have been given the gift of time.” 

Naito watched their reactions, ranging from utter disbelief to spat curses, Taichi and Kanemaru immediately huddling together and whispering fervently. 

“How do you figure we have more time?”  Zack spoke up.  “The time to strike is now.  While they’re distracted by their own drama we take them down.” 

Naito stared blandly at him before closing his eyes and rubbing his temples and giving an annoyed sigh. 

“Nooo.”  He said drawing out the vowels.  “What you do is sit back, let them fuck each other up and then pick up the pieces.  There’s no sense wasting firepower on them when they can do it themselves.” 

Loud rumblings filled the room, voices throwing their opinions around, talking over each other and quickly escalating to a cacophony of noise.

‘I said what I needed to say.  I have places to be.”  Naito said rising from his seat and heading towards the door.  He paused at the doorway looking back over the room.  “You’re time is running short on providing some benefit to the Ingobernables.  I suggest you start making yourselves useful or we may have to rethink this business arrangement. Things can always happen to sever familial ties.”  

Silence descended as Naito made his proclamation and left, tension in the air as they tried to process both his news and ultimatum. 

“He’s not wrong.”  Desperado said after a few minutes of quiet.  “We’ve done fuck all to benefit the Ingos.  Besides pay them for some guns.”  He shrugged.  “Since Iizuka got shot we’ve been holed up like a bunch of pussies and running around with our tails between our legs.   We’re not living up to what we are.  What we can be.” 

“I don’t blame them one bit for being aggravated with us.”   Kanemaru seconded.  “We let this setback throw us off and have let Los Ingos dictate everything since they showed up.  We need to stop being pushovers and bring something to the damn table.” 

Uncomfortable silence filled the room, everyone looking around not wanting to acknowledge the truth in Despy and Kanemaru’s words, but unable to deny them.  

“I agree with Naito.”  Taichi finally said garnering everyone’s attention.  “We let Bullet Club and Chaos destroy each other and then we come in and clean up the scraps.” 

Minoru sat back listening to the various arguments being thrown about the room, both in favor of Taichi’s recommendation and against, siphoning through the logistics as he considered every angle.  Holding a hand up he brought silence to the room, commanding their attention. 

“For now we’re going to wait.” Minoru declared.  “We’re going to watch and wait.”

Protests immediately sprang from those in contention, Lance’s voice the loudest as he bitched about sitting back and doing nothing.  

“We’re not doing nothing.”  Minoru said sharply.  “We’re going to learn, we’re going to figure out every nuance of this war and we’re going to strike when the time is right.  Naito has a point.  There is no sense in risking our lives and wasting our reserves when they can do it themselves.  When they’re at their weakest we will take them both out and take over their territories. Maybe Taka can redeem himself and get some actual intel for a change.” 

“In the meantime, we need to pull our heads out of our asses and start showing what Suzuki Gun is all about.” 

May 17, 2003

The sleek red Ferrari Spider glided to a stop in front of a dilapidated building, the occupants peering out the front windshield doubtfully. 

“You sure this is the right place?”  Minoru asked skeptically from the passenger’s seat.   Sliding his sunglasses back up into his hair Minoru looked over at the driver’s seat where Kanemaru was leaning over the steering wheel peering at what was supposed to be the headquarters for Los Ingobernables.  

With a frown Kanemaru pulled out his phone, double checking the address Hiromu had texted.  Given this was their first visit to LIJ territory he was concerned they had the wrong place.  This certainly didn’t look like the home front of a very successful arms group. 

“That’s the address they gave us.” Kanemaru confirmed. 

Slowly the two men exited the low slung vehicle, Kanemaru making his way to Minoru’s side as they hesitated until the door was pushed open.

“You boys going to stand out here all day or you coming in?”  Bushi asked holding the door open expectantly. 

Walking into the building Minoru looked at the run down cheap furniture littering the small office space making no effort to hide his distaste at the dirty surroundings. 

“I really don’t think anyone is going to want to break in here,” Kanemaru said jokingly as Bushi latched five different deadbolts across the door they had just walked through. 

“You never know.”  Bushi said with a shrug.  “Course leaving that fancy car out there I don’t think they’ll bother with our humble abode.”  

“Shit!”  Kanemaru moaned looking at his brand new car through the window.  “Nobody better touch my fucking car.”  

 “Follow me.”  Bushi said ignoring Kanemaru’s whining.  Both Minoru and Kanemaru looked around in confusion as they didn’t see anywhere to follow him to.  That was until Bushi pushed a hidden button that made the shelving unit on the wall slide out of out of the way revealing a hidden door.  Pulling out a key he opened the door and motioned for Minoru and Kanemaru to proceed him.

Kanemaru had to swallow back his feelings of claustrophobia as they ended up in a room no larger than an elevator and Bushi closed the door behind them.   Through the walls they could hear the shelves slide back into place before Bushi pressed a code into the keypad on the opening another sliding door.  

Kanemaru gladly hurried out of the small space finding a long dark hallway with no end in sight. 

“Is all this really necessary?”  Minoru asked as Bushi lead them down the hall, motion sensitive lights flickering on every so often to illuminate their path.  “It seems a bit paranoid.” 

Bushi stopped, turning around to look at the two men. 

“We have the one thing that everyone wants.  We are the only ones with access to that thing. I’d say it’s very necessary.”  Bushi responded seriously.

Minoru conceded with a nod and they resumed walking.   He supposed he could see their point.  Guns were so heavily outlawed it was nearly impossible to get them in Japan.  At this point, LIJ were the only source for distribution.   Minoru could only imagine how many people wanted to get their hands on what the Ingos had.  And what they were willing to do to get them. 

They walked for at least ten minutes, taking so many twists and turns and going through so many doorways that Minoru knew there wasn’t a chance he would be able to make it through here on his own.   He supposed that was LIJ’s intention as well.  Despite the budding relationship between the two factions, trust was still hard to come by.   For the past several weeks the families had been working closely together.   The Guns arms shipment had been smuggled in and Evil had worked closely with each member until they were proficient to his standards with each weapon, but the Ingos were still wary on this new alliance and some of them weren’t shy in letting the Guns know their feelings.  

Expecting yet another door leading down yet another hallway Minoru and Kanemaru were surprised when Bushi led them up a staircase that opened into an opulent sitting room littered with leather couches and marble flooring that was more in line with their expectations for the LIJ headquarters.  

Bushi asked leading them over to the full sized bar along the back while where a pretty Japanese girl was leaning against the counter. 

“Get them some drinks,” Bushi told the girl, swatting her on the behind and making her yelp as she scurried around the bar.   

“That’s Masae.  She’s Hiromu’s…friend.”  Bushi explained vaguely waving his hand towards the girl who was quickly filling the requested drinks for Minoru and Kanemaru.  

“I thought Hiromu liked men?”  Minoru asked thinking back to their encounters with the strange man.   He had gotten the distinct impression Hiromu had a thing for Taka. 

“Hiromu likes everything.”  Bushi said with a laugh.  “He doesn’t discriminate.” 

“So you put Hiromu’s girl to work?”  Kanemaru asked looking over at Masae with interest. 

“Bitch needs to earn her keep somehow,” Bushi responded with a lift of one shoulder. 

“Fuck you Bushi.”  Masae snapped pushing the two drinks across the counter and glaring at Bushi. 

“Don’t worry sweetheart. I’ll get my turn.”  Bushi smirked.  “Hiromu’s gonna get bored like he always does and then you’re fair game.”  

Leading them through another doorway Bushi gave them a mini tour pointing out the offices and introducing them to various employees of the family.   They stumbled across Hiromu and Naito in the game room, in the middle of a rousing street race on one of the systems. 

“Your woman is getting a bit comfortable Hiromu,” Bushi said as he poked his head through the door as he was leading Kanemaru and Minoru down towards their meeting room.  

“I’m almost done with her.”  Hiromu replied absently not taking his focus off the TV.  “Be patient Bushi-san.” 

“We’ll be there in two minutes.”  Naito promised. 

Their journey continued, Bushi seemingly following pulsing music coming from the end of the hallway.  Knocking loudly on the door Bushi yelled for Evil and Sanada before continuing on his way, leading Minoru and Kanemaru towards LIJ’s meeting room.

Minoru pulled up short causing Kanemaru to bump into his back when Bushi pushed open the door and they found it already occupied.   A stern looking man with a goatee and shoulder length black hair with the sides shaved stared back at them appraisingly.

“Minoru, Kanemaru…meet Shingo.”  Bushi said without elaboration.

“Who the fuck is Shingo?”   Kanemaru asked, his hand trailing nervously to his waistband, finger itching for his trigger.  This was a surprise and he did not like surprises. 

“Shingo is our brother and if you pull on him you will both die.”  Bushi warned.

“You didn’t tell us there was another member of your family.”  Minoru said lowly through clenched teeth warily keeping his eye on the man who hadn’t moved a muscle since they walked in. 

“There’s a lot we don’t tell you.” Bushi said flatly pushing past them into the room, taking the seat next to Shingo.  “Shingo has been in the States taking care of some business for us.  He’s home now, so get used to him.”  

Minoru and Kanemaru shuffled in, taking seats at the opposite side of the table.  Inwardly Minoru was seething at the blatant disrespect to Ingobernables were showing him and his family.  Shingo grinned at them as they sat, eyeing them challengingly making them groan as the rest of the Ingobernables filtered in.  

“Another fucking Naito,” Minoru groused.  “Just fucking great.” 

[ms-camucia]

Footnotes’ Chapters

So in procrastinating getting this second-to-last chapter of Footnotes finished, I went back and did something I meant to do ages ago, and actually gave each chapter a title and pull quote summary. I know for me writing-wise, this instantly made going back and figuring out when/where something happened a whole lot easier, it’s a lot more reader-friendly, and it’s something I’ll be better about in the future - I mean, for god’s sake, Alternative Methods managed to have chapter titles from the get go.

Before you call out my first two chapter names as super lazy, it’s because they parallel each other, and really should have just been one chapter, but oh well. Here they all are, for anyone interested, including the Song of Solomon quotes I’m using for the last two chapters, since they don’t have titles yet:

1. The Jedi Alone

2. The Leader Alone

3. From A Certain Point of View

4. A Guardian of Hope   

5. The Ghosts of Yavin IV

6. Forbidden Insights and Stolen Thoughts

7. The Wayward Prince

8. Inebriated Negotiations

9. Fumblings of the Repressed

10. Repercussions and Resolutions

11. The Prince in Disguise

12. A Dance With Death

13. Passions of the Jedi

14. The Leader’s Possession

15. A Mother’s Machinations

16. Lessons in Trust

17. A World Between You and Me

18. The Return of a Certain Jedi

19. Resistance is Peace, Chaos is Order

20. “I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me.”

21. “All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him.”

22. Epilogue: Footnotes’ Footnotes (Come out, and look, you daughters of Zion. Look on King Solomon wearing a crown, the crown with which his mother crowned him on the day of his wedding, the day his heart rejoiced.)

Pull quotes under the cut:

1. The Jedi Alone

Rey felt warmth travel down her spine, and her stomach tied in knots. This… this was not what she was expecting to find at all. Beneath the hurried notes, Rey found - in a much more deliberate, calligraphed script - poetry.

2. The Leader Alone

In the end, that was all they were - just glimpses. Visions just brief enough for his chest to clench - in anger? That was certainly the easiest one. After all, she was the one who left him, when she, of all people... Was it anguish? Sorrow? Those seemed closer. Regret? Best to not examine those feelings too closely.

3. From A Certain Point of View

How did this turn around so quickly on him? How did she know exactly how to rip him apart every time? Rey was right, his ambition, his drive, his dreams - his visions of her - had distracted him yet again.

4. A Guardian of Hope    

Rey took a shaky step back from the podium, and right into a large, warm body. 'I've got you,' came a whisper at her ear as a black, gloved hand slowly ran its thumb down Rey's arm, leaving her shivering in its wake.

5. The Ghosts of Yavin IV

Call it attending a fundraiser, call it giving a speech - Kylo knew what was happening here. They wanted her to be a rallying cry. They wanted to turn her into a weapon. They wanted her as an attack dog. They wanted her face as the one people associated with the power of the Resistance. They wanted to do to her exactly what Snoke had done to him.

6. Forbidden Insights and Stolen Thoughts

These were not the flowery, fanciful words of Ben Solo. This was not a boy extolling the beauty of the world around him, longing for the girl in his dreams. This... this was him becoming someone else altogether, Rey realized, her heart in her throat.

7. The Wayward Prince

For so long, it had been Kylo Ren who had protected him. Kylo Ren, who shielded the tattered remains of the boy who had been Ben Solo. But here, surrounded by opulence and aristocracy - the crusader, the warrior was useless. He needed to be the Prince.

8. Inebriated Negotiations

“You know I’m not going to agree to... whatever it is you have in mind. You’re clearly trying to set something up here for you to win.”

Ben allowed a small smile to cross his face as he twirled her shoe on his finger. “You’d think that. But for you, Rey, I’m willing to give you everything.”

9. Fumblings of the Repressed

Ben Solo currently had the literal girl of his dreams strewn across his lap, he had just confessed more to her about how he felt than he would have ever admitted sober, and instead of her recoiling in horror, she felt compelled to seize his shirt and bite his lip. He was quite convinced that he had never, in his entire life, had so many things go right.

10. Repercussions and Resolutions

As much as Rey found honesty in his declarations last night of only wanting to ‘figure things out’ between them, and claiming that he was only here to discuss terms of ownership with his journal, she knew that it was ludicrous to assume Poe and Finn would trust his intentions.

And now they were all planning on showing up here at the same time.

11. The Prince in Disguise

“That’s - that’s the rest of the Resistance! They can’t see you here!” “Why not? It’s my damn apartment!” “It’s - it’s too hard to explain right now, and it’s the General’s-” “Got my name on it.” “Kriff, Ben, this is not the time for a lesson in property ownership!” “I’ll give you a lesson in property ownership.”

12. A Dance With Death

“Clearly,” Ben hissed, glaring down at Poe as the shard moved closer to his skin “-we have different views of last night’s events. I saw a very real, and very capable threat. I saw a man who had obviously been manipulated with the Force. I saw Rey inches and milliseconds from dying. And I will not allow them a second chance.”

13. Passions of the Jedi

“Please, Rey. Let me know that I’m - I’m not alone in this. That it’s not just the Force, that it's not just our bond - that it’s us - that there’s actually something - something more here.”

14. The Leader’s Possession

"Ben would have died a happy man without Rey discovering that, in his weakest moments, all he could fantasize about was her absolute acceptance of him, and her sincerity in promising to never leave. Why couldn’t he just imagine simple, baseless sex like a normal person?"

15. A Mother’s Machinations

“From what I’ve read so far… I’m not sure... I... want to be a Jedi?”

An ashen look came over Leia’s face, suddenly making her look years older. Shakily, she took another long drink from her tea, the silence filling the air between the General and the would-be Jedi.

“That’s… That’s not the first time I’ve heard - you sound just like Ben.”

16. Lessons in Trust

Quickly, before she could get distracted again, Rey broke away from him - “Ben Solo, you do not get to just… Just kiss me and act like you didn’t- mmmf!”

He sealed his mouth to hers, his hot tongue softly imploring she just… oh. This was so much easier than being mad at him. Ben groaned, and Rey could feel it vibrate through his whole massive body as he crushed his chest to hers.

17. A World Between You and Me

“Stay here. They’ll come back for you.” the lie was like ash in his mouth, his voice dead as he delivered the damning words. The words that would trap her here for years of struggle and starvation. The words she would repeat to herself over and over until they lost their context and meaning, twisting them until they came from her parents, not some stranger in the desert. She would forget who said them, and convince herself that somewhere, she had parents who loved her.

18. The Return of a Certain Jedi

“Wait - Rey, I don’t understand - you called me-”

“Kylo? I know. His - your voice guided me.” She raked her fingers through his hair, holding his gaze as though imploring that he understand. “Ben Solo, Kylo Ren - it doesn’t matter. It was you. It was always you, wasn’t it?”

19. Resistance is Peace, Chaos is Order

"Ben, knowing the full scope and potential of their power here, insisted that they command the Force in bringing varying minds together, making them agree and come to a consensus. Rey was adamant that they take a more passive role, merely showing the path and letting people decide for themselves how, or even if, they wanted to find compassion in their enemy’s soul."

[whiskynottea]

An interruption in the 1st law of thermodynamics.

Previously Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29

AO3

As always, thanks to my OOT sister @theministerskat, for beta-ing this story ❤️

Chapter 30. The Cricket on the Hearth

source

New addition to my “Top 10 Best Things In The World” list: Falling asleep in Jamie’s arms.

Reason: Because sleeping with the arms of the person you love wrapped around you feels like nothing else. It’s a hug that lasts for hours; it keeps you warm, safe, and secure.

I couldn’t get enough of it.

And waking up to Jamie’s voice was the best alarm clock I could ever imagine.

Hearing his whisper – though I had no idea what he’d said – mingling with the colors of my dream, trailing shapes like a soft breeze, put a huge smile on my face.

This is perfect.

I was expecting to open my eyes and find him looking at me, whispering beautiful things, the sunlight softly kissing his auburn locks, and little hearts emanating from his head. Or something similar. Heart eyes at the very least.

You know, like it is in movies.

Instead, Jamie’s arms and the feel of his chest under my cheek were the only things going according to the plan. No sweet whispers. No kisses. Not even a hoarse ‘good morning’ or the sun entering the room. Everything was dark and I just wanted to go back to sleep.

“Sassenach! Wake up!”

“Wake up?” I repeated, still half asleep,  my eyes feeling heavy.

“Aye. Grab a brush and put a little makeup.” Jamie chuckled, amused by himself. I didn’t even have the energy to roll my eyes, so I ignored both him and his joke and just snuggled closer into his chest, trying to remember the dream interrupted by his whisper. Jamie, however, was determined to keep me up and with a large hand on my back, he started lightly shaking me.

“What?”

“Ye have to leave, mo chridhe!”

“Why?”

“Christ! Will ye please wake up and start thinking? Ye’re in my room!”

I am in Jamie’s room.

“Yes, of course I’m in your room. I came here last night,” I murmured and wrapped an arm over his stomach. “Now let me sleep. Five more minutes.”

Five more minutes, that will lead to five more, and five more. I know how to do this.

“Claire…” This time his whisper came with a kiss on the forehead.

Jamie using my name was never a good omen.

I finally opened my eyes and kissed him on his collar bone before putting my chin right next to it.

“Are you okay?”

Jamie took a deep breath with closed eyes, and let the air leave his body, coming out in three words.

“More than okay.” He smiled, then continued, “I woke up wi’ ye in my arms, mo chridhe. Tis perfect. Even better than I thought it would be.”

“I know,” I murmured against his skin, holding him tighter.

“And I don’t want you to go, babe, I really don’t, but you have to.” He brushed a few stray curls from my face, giving me a sad smile. “They canna find us here.”

I knew he was right, and with a kiss on his chest I put a hand on the mattress to prop myself up. I was naked, but I didn’t feel the urge to hide my body as I’d seen the women do in the movies. I wasn’t embarrassed. We wanted to share our bodies, our lust, our love, to let the other know us whole. In our strongest and our weakest moments. And we had done just that. We trusted ourselves to the other, to see us safe. And pleased – more than pleased. Plus, walking around like a Greek goddess wrapped up in the sheets didn’t seem practical at all.

I was starting to scan the room in search for my clothes, when Jamie trapped my hand in his, pulling me back to him.

“Eeee!”

“One last kiss,” came his answer, breathy, with the hint of a smile. The smile grew and crashed against mine, our tongues finding each other in a matter of seconds. I almost straddled him, but realized that the longer I stayed, the more probable it was that we’d wake the whole house. With a last bite on his bottom lip, I left the bed, trying to remember where my panties were. Jamie laid there still, naked, first with a pout on his face and then with a glint in his eyes that I knew all too well.

“Will you come and help me?” I asked with a raised eyebrow, “I can’t find my bra, because apparently, you couldn’t just leave it on the bed.”

“I dinna think I had a mind for things like that at that moment.” He mumbled, getting up in search of the black lace undergarment.

“Can we turn the lights on?”

“Hell no! Are ye crazy, Sassenach?” He looked at me in the dark with, I guessed, incredulous eyes. “I’ll use my phone.”

It took us an insanely long time to find my dress and underwear. In the meantime, Jamie found his boxers tangled in the sheets on the bed and threw them back on. My panties were somewhere under the bed, so I opted for going commando back to my room. I was next to the door when Jamie stopped me again, asking for ‘one last kiss’.

“I thought the previous one was the last!” I said with a cocky smile.

“Aye, this one is the last-last.” He smiled in response and kissed me again, the pull between us too strong to ignore.

“I’ll see you in a few hours, you know,” I whispered, cupping his face when our lips parted.

Jamie nodded, and ran a hand through his locks.

“Dream of me?” He asked, somehow shy, all of the sudden.

“Will do.” I kissed him once more – the last-last-last time, I supposed – and left his room.

Walking a ridiculously small distance in a hallway at 5:30 in the morning seems like a an easy thing to do and not be caught.   

Unless you’re at Lallybroch.

The light coming from Brian Fraser’s closed door was enough to knock the breath out of me. With my panties well hidden in my fist, I swallowed hard and started walking to my room with my head down.

Please stay in your room for a few more seconds. Please, please please.

The moment I reached my door, I heard a door open from behind. I entered my room without looking back, praying that whoever it was, he hadn’t seen me.

Sassenach: Did you just open your door?

Scot: No. Shit.

Sassenach: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA My thoughts exactly.

Scot: lol Don’t worry, aye?

Sassenach: The lights in your dad’s room were on.

Scot: It’s done now. Most likely he dinna see ye. Sleep, Sassenach. We’ll find out in the morning.

Or better yet, we wouldn’t.

It took almost an hour to get rid of the adrenaline high and drift back to sleep.

--

The next morning, I walked down the stairs wishing that my uncle and Brian Fraser would be in the office again. To my relief, the only people in the living room were Jamie and Ian, watching videos on YouTube. With a quick kiss to Jamie I headed to the kitchen, wanting to drink a whole tank of water. Jenny was there, with a half-full glass in hand.

“Haggis,” she said, raising her glass as if in a toast.

“I know! I’m so thirsty!” I opened the cabinet above the sink, searching for the biggest glass.

“This is my millionth glass of water, actually,” Jenny chuckled. “I came down twice during the night because I woke up thirsty.”

I almost choked. Unable to speak, I just nodded.

“Twas quite active, in the house last night.” She continued, and I pondered whether I should look at her or keep drinking water forever. “After we went to bed, I mean.”

There was a smile in her voice that I couldn’t ignore.

“It was you?” Jenny’s raised eyebrows gave me the answer I needed, and her laugh soon confirmed it.

Just Jenny. Thank god.

“So?” Jenny looked at me, waiting for more details.

“So?” I asked, faking ignorance.

“Did ye do it?”

Typical Jenny Fraser. Right to the point.

“No,” I replied quickly, feeling my cheeks burn crimson.

Water. More water.

“Aye, twas not verra noisy, last night. Although I think I heard some strange noises…”

“Jenny!” I looked at her with wide eyes, and she laughed at my expression.

“I didna hear anything, I’m teasing ye. This house has solid walls,” she added with a wink.

“Have you and Ian?” I asked, feeling more relaxed now that I knew she was okay talking about it.

“No. Not yet, anyway.” She made a gesture with her hand, as if this was a decision she didn’t fully agree with. “I think it’ll be great,” she added with a sigh.

“I guess so…”

“I mean, the first time, wi’ the lad ye love. It’s the right thing, aye?”

“Yes,” I agreed with a smile. “It’s right. Aren’t you at all afraid?”

“Sometimes when I overthink everything, yes, I am. But then, we know what to do - more or less. We’ve done our homework,” she smiled with mischief, winking at me.

“Maybe you’ll do it first, and then tell me about it.” I raised an eyebrow and she blushed a little.

“Ah, we’ll see. Ian really wants to wait. For what, I dinna ken.” Jenny shrugged, filling her glass with water again. “Anyway, we’ve done other… stuff.”

“Yes, we’ve done other stuff too.”

Jenny rolled her eyes but smiled. “Don’t ye tell! The wee dolt I have as a brother canna take his hands off ye.”

Laughing, and with our glasses full, we walked back to the living room, where I noticed Jamie wasn’t the only ‘wee dolt’. Ian was looking at Jenny as if she held the world in her hands.

We all huddled together on the big couch, laptop on the table, and watched funny videos until Lamb and Brian came to find us extremely happy and hungry.

--

Time had a different pace at Lallybroch. It didn’t fly by, it didn’t rush. I was in search of a distraction in the afternoon when Brian Fraser proposed I go to his office and pick a book from the library. It was that or rereading, for the hundredth time, one of the Harry Potter books I’d seen in Jamie’s room. Since it was the beginning of a new year, I thought it would be better to try something new.

I’m sorry, Harry.

Brian Fraser had an impressive library, with shelves full of history books – a few of them stacked on a table, most probably by Lamb – and many about economics, management, and finance that I passed by without giving them a second glance.

This is what Jamie will read in uni.

And then, there they were. Fiction. Millions of worlds waiting to be discovered. Brian Fraser had a large collection of the classics and I found myself standing indecisive in front of the book shelves.

“A lot of these were my mom’s.” Jamie was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed in front of his chest, watching me.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to hear you huff and not spare a second glance at the books about economics.”

“That’s for you to read.” My raised eyebrow didn’t have the effect I was expecting on him. His eyes clouded, and his gaze left my eyes to run along the burgundy carpet.

“What?” I walked to him, placing a hand on his chest and bending my head so he could see me. He laughed at my childish move and pulled me closer to him, inhaling deeply. “Tell me?”

“Nothing.”

“Hey…”

“Tis nothing, really. I just don’t see myself enjoying reading these books more than you would, Sassenach.” Jamie sighed, and placed a kiss on my forehead.

“But the distillery…”

“Aye, I ken. I have to, if I want to continue the business.”

“And do you want to?”

Jamie shrugged, and I knew that he wasn’t ready to talk about this. Having no other means to help, I pulled him closer to me, hoping that the mere presence of my body next to his would hold some power to make him feel better.

“So what did you choose to read?” he asked after a while, obviously changing subject. His gaze was on the book I’d left on Brian’s desk.

“Charles Dickens, the Christmas stories,” I said with a shrug, feeling totally predictable.

“Oh, I like The Cricket on the Hearth,” Jamie moved to pick up the book and smiled at me over his shoulder, reaching for my hand. “Even more than A Christmas Carol, actually.”

“I have to read it, then.” Standing next to him, I took the book from his hand and  was about to open it to find the story, when something on Brian’s desk caught my attention. “Jamie, what’s that?” He followed my gaze, and when he saw the object in question, he snorted. It was a body lotion, in a beautiful vase that resembled the Fraser whisky bottle.

“This is ‘Ellen’s body lotion,’” he said while I squinted, trying to read the label. “See, my ma had her own series of body lotions.”

“She did?” I asked surprised and Jamie reached for the vase to give it to me.

“Aye, she had five different ones. Like the Fraser whiskies. Like the Frasers.” I took the vase from his hand, placing a kiss on his bicep.

“Almond,” I said, inhaling deeply. “It’s so good!”

“Twas hers. Ma was almond. She always smelled like it and Da made a whisky wi’ almond notes for her. And then came the body lotion.”

“And he keeps it here to remember her?”

“I dinna think tis to remember her. He had one of these vases here from the first night after ma died. I think he keeps it here to feel her around.”

I left the lotion on the desk, feeling like an intruder, not entitled to knowing Ellen’s scent.

“I couldna understand him in the beginning. Twas pointless, she was gone and she would never come back. A stupid body lotion wouldna bring her back.” I placed a hand on his cheek bringing his eyes to me, trying to take a bit of his heartbreak away. “I understand him now, ye ken,” Jamie continued with his voice broken, the almond scent that enveloped us not enough to mend his wounds. “He missed her. And I know now, because I have ye.”

“I know, baby, I know.” With fingers intertwined in his locks, I brought his mouth to mine, tasting his tears and his pain.

“I dinna want to lose ye, ever.” He said, more tears running down his cheeks. “I’ve lost enough people already, I dinna want to lose more. I dinna want to try to remember.”

“Shhh…” I soothed, cupping his face with both hands, trying not to think of scars that salves and creams could never erase. “I’m here. You’re here. We are all alive and well, aye?”

My Scottish made him laugh, and he turned his head to kiss the soft skin on the inside of my wrist. “I just miss her.”

“I know.”

“And I wish she could’ve been here to know ye.”

“I wish that too, love.”

I buried myself in his arms, feeling them tighten around me, and I silently promised to Ellen Fraser that I would take care of him. Her red-headed lad.

My red-headed lad.

Chapter 31

[kickdownthewalls]

TOP 20 ROCK/METAL ALBUMS OF 2018

This has been a year of surprises and disappointments in pretty equal measure. Judas Priest blew me away with their latest record (and tour) and Immortal made one of the most triumphant comebacks in metal history. On the other hand, Voivod’s new one felt strangely by-the-numbers, as did the latest from Riot V and Monster Magnet. Still, the sheer amount of releases out there, just in the traditional metal and thrash scenes, is somewhat mind-boggling, and there were plenty of excellent albums to be found.

(Countries represented this year: Italy, UK, Sweden, Norway, Germany, USA, Canada, Switzerland, Portugal, and Denmark).

20. BURNING WITCHES - Hexenhammer

Switzerland is a tiny nation, but they have given the world some of the most creative and diverse bands over the years, from Krokus to Celtic Frost to Samael and beyond. Burning Witches combine elements of melodic thrash and classic heavy metal for a sound that works quite well and is perfectly suited to Seraina Telli’s powerful vocal delivery. The album has its ups and downs but the title track and “Open Your Mind” are both flat-out brilliant.

19. PERPETRATÖR - Altered Beast

This is how I like my thrash metal: fast, evil, dirty, but still well-played and composed. Perpetratör hail from Portugal and this is only their second full album, but it is a scorcher. Songs like “Extreme Barbarity” and “Terminal Possession” are brutally fast in the vein of the early Germans, but the band explore some more mid-tempo riffs here and there as well. Like all my favorite thrash bands, these guys sound like they are playing just on the edge of what they can get away with and the effect is electric.

18. ARTILLERY - The Face of Fear

These Danish thrashers are one of those bands that has always had consistently quality releases but, for whatever reason, never really made the impact others in the genre have over the years. While the line-up has changed over time, the current incarnation has done three albums together now and sounds quite comfortable here. The drum sound is a bit ‘bonky’ for my tastes, but the quality of the tunes rises above it. Bonus points for the variety of songs on offer, too, from speedy, complex thrash, to power ballads to straight-ahead heavy metal.

17. LUCIFER - II

Lucifer’s brand of retro doom rock is both obvious in its influences and original in its assembly of said influences. The jazzier side of early Sabbath is the most prevalent element at work here, with riffs that range from heavy and evil to mournful and atmospheric. Despite some line-up changes, the sound is pretty consistent with the excellent debut from 2015, with perhaps a bit more clarity in the production (though nowhere near polished-sounding, fear not).

16. WITCHING HOUR - ...And Silent Grief Shadows the Passing Moon

The number of excellent bands with ‘witch’ in their name is strangely high this year and Germany’s Witching Hour are another to add to that list. This is their third full-length and displays a great deal of maturity and talent for writing complex yet compelling songs. Elements of black and thrash metal abound, but there is a lot of other stuff going on here, too, and lots of melody. The bass playing is particularly impressive and really adds a whole extra dimension to the music, while the vocals are a potent mix of plaintive and grim and complement the dark, intricate songs beautifully. This was a late-year release and, given some more spins, it will likely rise on this list.

15. SATAN - Cruel Magic

It is rare that a band can pull together their classic line-up the way that Satan did in 2013, let alone one that can then proceed to release three albums back-to-back that fall right in line with their old material. Cruel Magic is the latest of these and has all the hallmarks that made Satan great: finely-crafted heavy metal that is speedy and complex, organic production, and an overall sound that is truly their own. They may have only caught the tail-end of the NWOBHM but damn if they weren’t one of the scene’s best and it is heart-warming to see and hear them continuing the legacy 35 years later.

14. ABYSMAL GRIEF - Blasphema Secta

Abysmal Grief are Italian doom masters that create a sound that is heavy, gothic, creepy, and relentless all at once. Most songs are in the 8-9 minute range and are usually centered around a few core riffs, but the way the band build them up and vary them throughout really pulls the listener in. Keyboards are used quite a bit and to great effect, while the vocals range from mournful to menacing. The band has kept a very consistent style since day one, with only the production getting a little better with each release, and Blasphema Secta sounds both heavier and cleaner than anything prior.

13. STRIKER - Play to Win

Been following these stalwart Canucks since their debut EP a decade ago and I’m glad to see that they have continued to evolve and refine their sound with each new album. Play to Win is probably the most ‘commercial’ release to date, with tons of melody and big choruses, but there is still plenty of heaviness on tracks like “Heart of Lies” and “Summoner” to keep a nice balance. Striker has gotten really good at writing distinctive songs that aren’t just a collection of riffs but actual, well-constructed tunes.

12. BULLET - Dust to Gold

This Swedish quintet has been bashing it out for 15+ years and still manages to release an invigorating collection of hard rockin’ metal tunes. Stylistically, Dust to Gold covers a fair amount of ground, from heavy metal in the vein of Accept and Grave Digger to more upbeat rockers ala Krokus and AC/DC. The common denominator throughout is a sense of fun that is missing from entirely too many albums these days.

11. LEATHER - II

Leather’s powerful voice was always the thing that raised Chastain from a good band to a great one and I’m pleased to report that she sounds just as good in 2018 as she did in 1988. The opening track “Juggernaut” is one of the best speed metal songs I have heard in a while and the rest of the album is consistently good, too. Shades of Dio and Priest color the wide range of tunes here and the band turn in some excellent, spirited performances. Glad to see Leather back on the scene and, as much as I enjoyed the Chastain reunion records, I think this one is even better.

10. HAUNT - Burst Into Flame

Although I enjoyed the first Haunt EP, the full-length debut really takes it up a notch. This is classic, old-school heavy metal that reminds me a bit of the first couple of Cauldron albums, with some wonderful dual-guitar work thrown in for good measure. The vocals are clean but remarkably restrained compared to some of the screamers out there, making for a nice change of pace. Songs “Reflectors” and “Burst Into Flame” have a haunting (ahem) timelessness to them and the album flows really well from start to finish.

9. THE NIGHT FLIGHT ORCHESTRA - Sometimes the World Ain't Enough

Despite featuring members of Soilwork and Arch Enemy, this is a long, long way from death metal, melodic or otherwise. Although the band’s first effort had a distinctly late-70s hard rock vibe to it, each record since has taken the listener deeper into the world of 80s AOR. Unlike a lot of the sterile, radio-friendly acts from that actual era, NFO bring a warmth and heartfelt approach that really brings the music alive. This is the band’s fourth album and probably their weakest, but it still stands well above the average album of 2018. Songs like “Turn To Miami” and “Pretty Thing Closing In” are immediate, timeless classics.

8. THE CROWN - Cobra Speed Venom

Although Deathrace King is still one of my top 5 death metal records of all time, The Crown never really were able to duplicate its genius. Cobra Speed Venom, however, comes damn close. It has all the brutality that the band is known for but brings back a lot of the punky/thrash energy and memorable riffs that have been missing for a while. The first three songs might be the best start to any album this year; just relentless, mayhemic brilliance. Top it off with one of the coolest and most original album covers I’ve seen in a while, along with three bonus tracks that are actually worth adding, and you have one hell of a return to form.

7. SAXON - Thunderbolt

Saxon certainly made some missteps in the late 80s, but I can’t think of another band that has remained as true to form over the years, while also consistently putting out quality albums and touring relentlessly. Thunderbolt is no Wheels of Steel or even Call To Arms, but it is still a solid record that is as good or better than the last couple. From the melodic timelessness of “The Secret of Flight” to the moody “Nosferatu (The Vampire’s Waltz)” to the raging “They Played Rock and Roll,” there is also a diversity rivaled only by Priest on this list.

6. BLACK OATH - Behold the Abyss

When it comes to true, epic, soul-crushing doom metal, Black Oath have become true masters. I have been following this band since the Portrait of the Dead single back in 2010 and am pleased to say they just keep going from strength to strength. Behold the Abyss balances a lush production, clean vocals, and plenty of melody, with dreadnought riffage and blissfully dark, esoteric lyrics. A rich, dynamic work of black art.

5. SIGN OF THE JACKAL - Breaking the Spell

This amazing Italian band has created a style that is equal parts early 80s Warlock and late 80s Judas Priest. Great, driving metal tunes that sometimes border on speed metal with plenty of screaming solos and hooky choruses. The recording, the mix, the energy, everything about this record is incredibly old-school and authentic, right down to the 32-minute running time.

4. AUDREY HORNE - Blackout

Ever since these Norwegian rockers abandoned all pretense and went full-on retro with their Youngblood album, I have been hooked. They compose hard-hitting rock tunes with tons of hooks and Lizzy-esque harmonies that give a nod to metal and punk without really being either. The first three songs - “This is War,” “Audrevolution,” and “Blackout” - are all perfectly built and give a great cross-section of the band’s diverse sound. Toschie’s vocals are as unique as his fashion sense and, as much as I loved the last two records, I think this one may be their best yet.

3. BRAINSTORM - Midnight Ghost

Brainstorm has long since perfected their style (as far back as Soul Temptation, some fifteen years ago), and each new release is really just varying levels of execution. As good as Scary Creatures was a couple years back, Midnight Ghost is truly brilliant and may possibly take the title as my favorite Brainstorm outing. All of the usual plusses are in place - great production, top-notch musicianship, catchy tunes - but the songs themselves are just a tad bit more finely honed and memorable. “Ravenous Minds” and “When Pain Becomes Real” in particular are killer and there is nary a dull moment here.

2. IMMORTAL - Northern Chaos Gods

My first Immortal record was At the Heart of Winter and it is still my favorite black metal album, hands down. The combination of raw, icy riffs with the mind-blowing drumming and just enough melody to keep it all together was/is intoxicating. Immortal has never done a bad album, but some are definitely better than others and Northern Chaos Gods is one of the best ones. The ferocity is up there with Pure Holocaust and Demonaz’s vocals, while not quite as distinctive as Abbath’s, fit the music perfectly. The band wisely took their time to put this record together and the results speak for themselves.

1. JUDAS PRIEST - Firepower

Priest has been one of my favorite metal bands since I first got into them back in ’82 and they are still right up there with Sabbath, Accept, and Mercyful Fate, with a catalog that is as diverse as it is brilliant. After the disappointing Nostradamus and good-but-not-great Redeemer of Souls, it was a real pleasure to hear Firepower, a true, all-guns-blazing Priest record. The production is 1000% better than anything they have released in the last two decades and the material is both diverse and top-notch. Songs like “Firepower,” “Never the Heroes,” “Children of the Sun,” and “No Surrender” have such a classic sound to them and Rob has not sounded this good since Painkiller. Even the weakest tracks (“Lone Wolf” and “Sea of Red”) have grown on me a bit, so I am confident that Firepower will go down in history as one of the band’s crowning achievements.

I must also mention some very impressive EPs, demos, and singles that were released this year, namely those from CIRITH UNGOL, ROUGH SPELLS, ÜLTRA RAPTÖR, PULVER, SIGNIFICANT POINT, TENTATION, ANCIENT SÉANCE, SABÏRE, and OCCULT BURIAL. If you aren’t familiar with any of these bands or haven’t heard their latest, I highly recommend getting acquainted immediately.

As usual, my list could have gone on much longer, but here are the bands that just missed the top 20: AMORPHIS, AURA NOIR, BEHEMOTH, BLACK REBEL MOTORCYCLE CLUB, BLACK VIPER, BLADE KILLER, CAULDRON, DIMMU BORGIR, DREAM CHILD, GOAT WORSHIP, GRAHAM BONNETT BAND, IRON ANGEL, KHEMMIS, KRISIUN, NIGHT VIPER, PRIMAL FEAR, PROFESSOR BLACK, RIOT V, SABOTER, SKULL FIST, SUBSTRATUM, TAD MOROSE, VISIONS OF ATLANTIS, VULCAIN, WHITE WIZZARD, WITCHFYRE, and WYTCH HAZEL.

What is on the horizon for 2019? Well, I am already psyched about the new ones from CANDLEMASS, DELAIN, ROCK GODDESS, FLOTSAM & JETSAM, CHAINBREAKER, SOILWORK, WITHIN TEMPTATION, MORTAL SCEPTER, HAMMERFALL, and TYTUS, plus possible releases from SACRED REICH, DEATH ANGEL, and EXCITER all have me really looking forward to the coming twelve months. The world is crumbling around us, but at least the metal scene is stronger than ever!

[dorkyungsoowrites]

Spontaneous Attraction Ch. 25

Pairings: Kyungsoo x You, Past Chanyeol x You

Genre: Fluff/Angst/Smut | Ambiguous AU

Warnings: None

Word Count: 6.9k

Description: A tiny confession and a big announcement feat. drunk members

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Practice went well. You remembered Kyungsoo's well-meaning words and stopped to make yourself some food. A light sandwich would do since the boys would be over in a few hours to eat and drink. After you sat the plate down you looked for a drink. The longer you stared inside the fridge the more unsteady you felt. The tighter your chest became.

Okay, just stop, you told yourself and shut the door to the fridge. Stop everything and breathe. That was how you had always curbed your anxiety attacks. It didn't work every time, but it would at least prevent things from escalating too much while you were alone. Deep breath in. Out. In. Out. Why were you anxious suddenly? You didn't have to search your thoughts for long. The announcement. Soon the entire world would know you're dating Kyungsoo. It was exciting but terrifying. Much like your relationship when you first met. This would be good, you convinced yourself. Long inhale. Long exhale. Even if things went bad you could stay away from the comments. You had avoided too much about Kyungsoo's group on the internet so far. You only knew what he told you. It would be fine. You would be fine.

Just in case, though. You pivoted on your heel and opened a cabinet. Liquor. All the arrangements you kept for when the members came over. You grabbed the weakest one and poured a glass. This would calm your trembling hands until Kyungsoo came home. Which was sooner than you thought.

Two hours passed before the front door clicked open and shut. The sandwich was long gone. But so was the bottle you had been sipping out of. You had a fairly high tolerance, and it was weak booze, so you stood to greet him. Kyungsoo's eyes flitted from the dining table with the empty liquor bottle to your flushed face as he put away his coat.

"Y/N, how drunk are you?"

"Not very," you answered. You smiled proudly at how non-slurred your words were. Man he looked good, you thought. Those tight jeans and baggy sweatshirt. You chewed on your bottom lip as he came closer. Were his hips swaying? Or was that the alcohol? Kyungsoo opened his mouth to speak, but you wrapped your arms around his neck and crashed your lips together. It was short and uncoordinated. He backed away with a wet smack, eyebrows pulled together in consternation.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," you giggled. Your hands had a mind of their own running down his chest and sides. Then tugging up his sweatshirt to hold his slim waist. "Can't I kiss you hello?" His fingers came around your wrists, guiding your hands off his skin to your dismay. You were itching to touch him. How were you supposed to resist him when he looked so delicious? And how had you never noticed how handsome he looked in that sweatshirt before now? The soft, black material hung off his slight frame down to his thighs. Those thighs. The ones that looked like they might burst the seams of his pants with how thick and firm they were from dancing so often. It was sinful. Teasing you with the bare skin you knew was underneath. You suddenly had the urge to tear off his skinny jeans and ride him with only the sweatshirt on. Heat rushed between your legs at the thought.

"Jagi, are you listening to me?" His scolding tone snapped you back to the present. He was practically glaring now. Dammit he was hot. "I've never seen you day drink. In fact I don't think I've ever seen you completely drunk at all."

"I'm not," you assured with a cute smile. "I'm not even swaying in place yet. See?" You took your hands back and stood still in front of him. It was true you didn't show obvious outward signs, but your vision was bordering on swimming. You were aware enough to know you were teetering on drunk, but he didn't need to know that. So you focused on controlling the symptoms. Don't laugh at everything, don't stumble, speak clearly, and touch him. Wait, no. You mentally slapped yourself. Control your hormones.

"I don't believe you," he spoke with a shake of his head. Then he was leading you to the bathroom. You followed without questioning it. "You're staring at me weirdly. I don't have time to deal with this."

"I can't think you're sexy?"

"Not when eight other guys are about to walk through that door with a camera." Kyungsoo stopped you at the sink and turned to start the shower. The last half of his sentence went completely over your head.

"Let them come in. Didn't you talk about wanting them to catch us fucking?" He grumbled something under his breath, shoulders tense. He bent over to grab a shampoo bottle that had fallen. You tilted your head and stared wantonly, biting your lip hard. The dark denim stretched and strained over his backside. So much effort just to hold his assets. It would be so easy to relieve the stress those jeans were under. His full, rounded ass on display. Were those pants melded to his body? How were they so tight without ripping? You were about to combust. Kyungsoo shot up swiftly, owlish eyes finding your heavily lidded ones.

"Did you just moan?" Did you? You didn't notice. Your teeth released your abused lip. "I heard you. You moaned while staring at my ass." You shrugged. Kyungsoo scoffed, one side of his mouth lifting in a bemused smirk. He set the shampoo aside. "You're a horny drunk." It wasn't a question.

"Horny is such a gross word." He crossed his arms over his chest, eyes sparking with amusement.

"Is this why you have that 'no sex while drunk' rule? Did you wake up in some random bed when you were younger with someone you didn't like?"

"No," you refuted a little too aggressively, pouting.

"Strip." Your hands went for your shirt first without thought. Then your pants. While Kyungsoo stood there watching with that cocky smirk.

"I did like him thank you very much." You felt very defensive suddenly. Like your pride needed protecting. Or you were just tired of keeping this story secret and you had lost part of your filter. "That's the problem."

"Was it awkward or something?"

"Of course it was awkward, I didn't remember half of it." Your pants were kicked off. Next was your bra.

"Did he ask for a play-by-play or something?" It was meant as a joke, but your heart stung at the un-intentional jab.

"I just felt bad, okay? It was my first time." His smirk flattened. Your fingers paused at the clasp on your back. Too tired to take it off. You hugged yourself and looked down, feeling strangely vulnerable. Your voice lowered. "I felt gross." Kyungsoo called your name softly. Strong arms wrapped you in an embrace. You hid your face in his sweatshirt. "That's why I have the rule. I don't want to feel that way again. Ever."

"I didn't know. I'm sorry."

"No one knows. It was too embarrassing."

"If it makes you feel better my first time wasn't that great either."

"But you remember it." His chest heaved with a long sigh.

"I do. I'm sorry."

"I never even told him. I was so scared of hurting him."

"I take it it didn't end well?"

"Well he's still not so secretly in love with me and I'm living with his best friend so no. Not really." Kyungsoo pulled back.

"It was Chanyeol?" You already missed his warmth. You clutched his sweatshirt and tugged him closer, head on his chest. You hummed pleasantly. "We'll talk about it later," he sighed quietly. Kyungsoo went back to nagging mode. Prying your hands off, him he unhooked your bra and slid it off your arms. "You still need to sober up. Come on, jagi." The room bobbed back and forth. You chuckled and swayed with it to keep it in place.

"I think that last glass is kicking in." His fingers hooked in your underwear. The thin material dropped around your ankles. You stepped out of them and leaned forward. Your lips met his neck, but he stepped back. "Kyungsoo," you whined. "Come on, I've been wet ever since you came home. Play with me."

"Not like this," he answered monotonously. "Shower. Now." A grin played on your lips.

"Will you join me?"

"No." You placed your hands on his hips.

"You're so cruel."

"You shouldn't have been drinking this much. Do you realize we're planning to livestream our announcement in an hour? I came home early to cook. Not to babysit."

"You're so sexy when you scold me."

"Y/N," he said firmly, shoving your hands away. "I said no. Take a cold shower and dress in something nice."

"Make me."

"No, don't go there." You noticed the way his jaw clenched when he swallowed, adams apple bobbing. You moved closer. This time when you kissed his neck he stayed put. One of your hands wandered to the front of his jeans. Your lips ghosted over the shell of his ear.

"Why don't you take off these tight pants and fuck me until I behave?" His head turned, lips fitting with yours in a bruising kiss. You moaned and followed his lead. Eager for what was to come. You stumbled backwards. Then you yelped. When you opened your eyes you were in the shower. The icy water pelted your shoulder and side. Your whole body immediately began to shiver. Kyungsoo laughed at his victory. "A-a-asshole," you stammered. Teeth chattering.

"I'm going to start dinner. You better be sober and ready for company in an hour." Then he picked up your clothes and left.

When you emerged from your room, dry and dressed, you looked sheepishly to Kyungsoo. He was in the kitchen stirring something in a large pot, glasses perched on his nose. It smelled delicious. Tomato-y, whatever it was. You had put on dark jeans and a pastel top. One of the few nice shirts you owned that wasn't black or white. You even put on an undershirt so your bra didn't show through which you normally didn't care about. He saw you from the corner of his eye and smiled.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah. My head cleared up a lot. Thanks." He jerked his head towards the dining table.

"There's a glass of water waiting for you." Indeed there was.

"I'm sorry about earlier," you told him softly. Kyungsoo tapped the handle of the spoon he stirred with on the edge of the pot and set it on the counter. "For coming on to you like that, and blabbering that stupid story. You didn't need to hear that." He faced you with a confused look.

"First of all, 'coming on to me'? Are we in a fifties high school movie? Should I tell the audience tonight we're 'going steady'? Second, I'm glad you told me." His eyebrows ticked up in a reaction you couldn't quite place. Like he was thinking, 'it was crazy, but good.' He walked to one of the cabinets, pulled out some salt and pepper and went back to the pot. "I have questions, but they can wait until tonight." You went to the table, picked up your glass of water, and stood on the opposite side of the island from him. Your eyes drifted. Even sober you loved these pants. They hugged him in all the right places, and if only that damn oversized sweatshirt wasn't blocking your view of his ass--no. Focus.

"What kind of questions?"

"Don't worry about it."

"No, go ahead. I told you this much. Why not the rest of my secrets?" He sprinkled the salt and pepper on his palm before dumping them in. He stirred.

"He didn't--I mean he didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No."

"It's just, I've heard his side of the story. Before I met you when we all talked about our...stories. He never mentioned it being awkward."

"Well he's a liar," you chuckled. Kyungsoo spooned some of whatever he was cooking in his mouth to taste. He decided to add another pinch of salt. "We didn't talk for a week after it happened."

"You never told him you don't remember?"

"Well I remember parts. It's embarrassing."

"Most first time stories are. It's okay."

"It just felt like...you know that empty feeling you get when you're lonely? It was like that, but inside of me. It's hard to explain."

"You felt violated," he provided. You stared wide-eyed at the back of his head. How did he know? Kyungsoo set the spoon down on the counter and strolled over so he was in front of you. He leaned his hip on the island, arms crossed. "Right?"

"Yeah, but--"

"But you loved him." Your brows stitched together, searching his face, but it was blank. "That's how I felt after that snake. I mean, it's different because I knew she was cheating at the time." His ex, the chef you met. Your mouth shaped an 'o' in understanding. He must have let her have sex with him because he thought it would make her stop cheating. He thought if he gave her what she wanted she would stay with him. Then to find out it didn't matter. That she used him. It broke your heart knowing he endured that. It was no wonder he was so withdrawn when you first started dating. He needed to know you weren't going to leave him once you had sex. That you cared. "I just don't understand why you stayed with him after that. If he made you feel like shit why did you date him? She siphoned something out of me that night. I couldn't stand to be near her. My skin crawled and my stomach would be upset. Why was Chanyeol different?"

"He didn't use me," you replied slowly. "We were stupid kids drunk at a party, but he loved me. He took the hurt away after."

"So you never felt violated again after that?"

"Of course not." Kyungsoo sighed deeply and kissed your forehead.

"That all I needed to know." With his gentle smile to reassure you and lift the mood you went over to the two pots on the stove with him. The larger one he had been stirring was filled with a red sauce. The second pot had drained noodles. Spaghetti. He scooped some sauce on his stirring spoon and held it out to you. You blew on it before tasting it and hummed.

"Perfect. That's really good, Soo."

"Good," he chirped happily. He switched off the stove, poured the noodles in the sauce pot, and gave the spoon to you. So you put your water down. "Can you mix that together while I get changed?"

"What's wrong with what you're wearing?"

"I want to look nice for the broadcast."

"You look great," you grinned.

"I'll be right back." You gulped down the water while incorporating the noodles and sauce together. After finishing you filled a second glass and got out dishes to serve dinner on. Kyungsoo came back a few minutes later with a plain black t-shirt on. You couldn't help but laugh.

"Kyungsoo, you hardly look different."

"Sure I do," he argued with a smile. "You can see my waistline now." You walked over to him and kissed his cheek with a giggle.

"Very chic." That's when you paused. "Wait, did you put on make-up?" There was evidence of concealer on his more red spots and powder to cover up the shine on his nose.

"Just a little." You rolled your eyes, but couldn't stop smiling. He cared more than he let on that tonight go well. Not long after you heard the knocks on the door and you opened it to let the other eight men inside. You greeted and ate like normal. The conversation you were dreading occurred as you all sat around the living room after dinner.

"Alright, good," Junmyeon started. "Everyone on the floor against the wall. We can't give away where we are. Y/N, did Kyungsoo go over the rules?"

"Rules?"

"Sorry I haven't," Kyungsoo answered. Junmyeon gave a tight-lipped smile and faced you as the others got ready. The energy in the room completely shifted. Everyone was buzzing with anticipation. Sitting huddled on the floor in front of the blank wall where you still didn't own a tv. You don't think you'd ever get one to be honest. It wasn't necessary when you could cuddle next to Kyungsoo in bed at night with a laptop. Something warm wrapped around your hand and you looked to see Junmyeon tightening his grip.

"You're doing great, Y/N." The assuring words forced you to pause and take a deep breath. He was pulling you away from the commotion, thumb stroking the back of your palm. His soft voice was like magic. Your pulse slowed. The conversations and bickering of the other eight faded to the background and you nodded to show you were listening. "I know it's a lot to take in at once, but we all believe you're ready for it. Since you haven't been involved with our group you don't know what to expect totally. That's why I'm here now. I put Chanyeol in charge of starting the livestream. We'll all greet the audience and give it a minute for people to tune in. We'll announce that we have news and Kyungsoo will introduce you. Here's where the rules kick in." You nodded again so he knew you weren't tuning him out. "Don't give away any details you're not comfortable with the whole world knowing. No locations, numbers, stuff like that. No over the top physical affection. And especially watch your language, please. All our content is meant to be suitable for a younger audience."

"Okay," you agreed slowly, processing everything.

"In the future maybe we'll reveal your job, but for now with your new position in the orchestra it's better to wait so you're not harassed. Chanyeol agreed to letting everyone know you grew up together, but leave out the messy details. Are you okay with that?"

"Lie?"

"No, just omit that you dated."

"Yeah that's fine."

"Good. Then that's it. We'll probably talk about our upcoming schedules and answer a few comments and say goodbye. It won't be long. Still nervous?" He saw right through you. You chuckled and nodded. His arms came around to embrace you, rubbing up and down your back to act like he was scrubbing off your jittery energy.

"Thanks, Junmyeon."

"My pleasure, dove."

"So the name is sticking, huh?"

"Baek told me. I thought it was cute."

"From you it is. From him it sounds like teasing." Junmyeon laughed brightly and let you go.

"The fans will learn to love you just as much as us. You're wonderful. Don't doubt this."

"I'm not. You really are something else, Junmyeon. Thank you for taking care of me." His smile widened.

"You're like a sister. Of course I'm gonna take care of you. Ready?"

"Yeah." He pat your shoulder before joining the others, leaving you out of frame in the kitchen. Kyungsoo moved so he was closest to you while Chanyeol got out his phone. You took a deep breath. The screen mirrored their faces and Chanyeol greeted the camera. The members behind him couldn't keep still, whispering their excitement. They so were not subtle at all. It was adorable to witness actually.

"Get to it!" Jongdae urged. "They can play back the beginning later."

"Alright, everyone, we have a special announcement to make. Kyungsoo." He tilted the camera so they both showed clearly. Heat rose up his face as he started talking.

"We want to introduce you to someone. Please welcome this person with the same amount of love, support and respect you have with us." He looked over at you with a nervous smile and motioned you over. You sat next to him on the floor, grinning and waving at the camera. "This is Y/N. My girlfriend."

"Hello, everyone," you said brightly. "It's wonderful to finally greet you."

"We've been together for a while, but we kept it secret for privacy's sake. You guys are an important part of my life, but over the time we've been together Y/N has grown to be as well. It only felt right to introduce these two worlds together. The two things that make me happiest. I know this might come as a shock, but we're really great together. She's great. I hope you all grow to love her as much as I do."

"Don't leave us out!" Baekhyun interjected. "We love you too, Y/N."

"How did you meet? I have that answer," Chanyeol read out loud. "Y/N and I were childhood friends. I introduced them." You suppose it was only partially a lie since he was one of the ones who forced Kyungsoo out that night you met. You laughed and ruffled his hair.

"I've known this goofball for ages." Your hand instinctually fell back down onto Kyungsoo's knee. He covered it with his, interlocking your fingers. It knocked him out of his trance and he glanced to the camera again. All the members huddled to search the comments. Jongin chuckled out of nowhere.

"Someone thought you were going to show off a new dog, Soo."

"Well she is family," Sehun added.

"Aw, guys. You're going to make me blush."

"Y/N, answer that one!" Baekhyun pointed excitedly. The text was scrolling too fast for you.

"I missed it."

"Your job."

"Oh, I'm a musician. I play and teach." You did your best to read the comments. One that flew by made you laugh. "Yes, Chanyeol's ears have always been huge."

"Hey! I'm sensitive about my ears." The giant whined. That was when you noticed Kyungsoo fiddling with the ring on your finger. A habit he had picked up since giving it to you. Whenever he held your hand he found himself twirling the small silver band mindlessly. It didn't do any harm so you never pointed it out. You doubt he even knew he did it.

"She takes great care of us." Yixing's voice brought you back to the conversation. Junmyeon cut in next, taking the phone from Chanyeol. Like most of the others you weren't in frame anymore.

"She's very encouraging and helpful to our members. Sometimes on especially busy weeks she'll surprise us with food to force us to take a break." Sehun leaned on the leaders' shoulder. "I've never met someone I so quickly considered a close friend. She's really incredible."

"Stop," you chuckled. "I'm normal. I just care a lot. You make me seem like some perfect person."

"But you are pretty close," Kyungsoo whispered. The others didn't hear it, but you felt yourself blush at his words. You nudged his shoulder with yours.

"Charmer." Kyungsoo chuckled softly and looked away shyly, fighting the pull of a smile on his lips. They directed the topic away to their schedules for the remainder of the stream. Which you were grateful for. You could relax and laugh at the boys' usual antics from the sideline where you preferred to be.

When the stream ended you were caught off guard. Chanyeol was turning around as he put away his phone. You opened your mouth to thank all of them when your lips were suddenly smothered. Several gasps and a few giggles were heard. Your eyes blew open wide. Out of the corner you saw Jongin slapping Sehun's shoulder in a fit of excitement, mouth agape and eyes smiling. Sehun was complaining how it hurt, but it went on deaf ears. Kyungsoo was pressed up against you, forcing you to lose your balance. Your eyes fluttered closed as you fell on your back. Kyungsoo tugged on your lip with his teeth before his tongue darted out and you caved. Your hands went around and pulled him even closer, his upper body twisted on top of yours. A small moan slipped from you, and it only made him use that much more ferocity. His soft lips bruising yours with deep, ebbing pushes and bites to suck you back in. Tongue rolling into your mouth tantalizingly. A few cheers came from beside you. The air was stifling. One of Kyungsoo's hands groped up your side. Halting just below your breast. His thumb traced the edge of your bra. He maneuvered a leg between yours so he was on top of you. Your heart raced. How far was he going to go? How far would you go? Would you let him touch you in front of eight other people? His bandmates no less? Turns out you didn't have to answer that question yet.

"Stop!" A booming voice cut through suddenly. "What the hell?!" Kyungsoo's heat left your mouth as he pulled away. Staring down at you with those daring eyes. Do it, they taunted silently. Make everyone see you're mine.

"Sorry Junmyeon," he threw over his shoulder. "I had to do that."

"Bullshit!" Jondae laughed. "But I'm not complaining."

"By all means continue," Minseok added. You didn't have to look to know he was smirking. He probably had an eyebrow raised in your direction too. Those wide, expressive eyes lurking up your body. You felt their stares turn hot on you. It wasn't just Minseok. That's when it occurred to you. The one who almost never shut up hadn't made a peep in minutes. Baekhyun. You broke from Kyungsoo's eyes to chance a look over and there he was. His gaze was heavy on you, pink lips slightly parted. Breath passed in and out at a forcibly steady rate like he was focused on it not shrinking and becoming shallow. Sitting stiffly in between Jongdae and Sehun.

Another thought passed your mind and you quickly squirmed out from under Kyungsoo. Sitting up against the wall with your knees to your chest and a strong blush coloring your face. Kyungsoo sat up as well, following your eyes to Chanyeol. He was paralyzed. Almost frightened looking. Tears gathered in his eyes. His gaze darted from your lips to Kyungsoo then back to you.

"Chanyeol, I'm so sorry." He forced a smile and shook his head clear. The corners of his mouth were going up and down like he was glitching.

"No," he replied weakly. "Don't be sorry. Why should you be sorry? You were just kissing Kyungsoo. In front of us. I should go."

"Oh come on you big baby!" Minseok whined, tugging on Chanyeol's sleeve. "We haven't even started drinking. Celebrate with us."

"Right. Drinks. That sounds really good right now."

"Yeol," Sehun called after him. Chanyeol was already emptying your liquor cabinet onto the island in the kitchen. "Maybe you're not in the best headspace for this." Kyungsoo glanced at you guiltily. "I can go back to the dorms with you if you want. I'm not a big drinker anyway."

"No," he refused as he retrieved glasses. The group began to sit in their regular places around the living room, Minseok and Yixing moving silently to help pour drinks. "What kind of best friend would I be if I abandoned Y/N like that?" His anxious energy was slowly being released. His smile less forced and twitchy. The atmosphere still needed a kick in the right direction, though.

Chanyeol was normally a hard lemonade or beer kind of guy, but that night he went straight to the vodka. He brought you a glass of the same mixed drink and clinked the cups together before drinking. You took a long swig. Chanyeol coughed, face twisting as he got down his own large gulp with difficulty. Baekhyun picked up a conversation while everyone sat down with their choice drinks. You didn't pay much attention. You were worried over Chanyeol. He continued to force down alcohol like a man who wants to forget. Whether that be the situation or his feelings you couldn't determine yet, but you would be sure to take care he doesn't get sick.

Without realizing it you had polished off three glasses in no time. Sipping whenever you felt anxious. Which turned out to be all the time. You kept an eye on your old friend as he gradually made his drinks stronger. Yours tasted more and more like vodka with each glass as well. Minseok not so subtly mentioning wanting to compete with you on who could hold their liquor better. Your fourth is when your head began feeling woozy. Not drunk, but that floaty, giggly lightness that comes with being tipsy. Normally that's when you'd stop, but that night you had something to prove.

"I'm a fantastic drinker," you boasted. Minseok smiled.

"I bet you'll be sloppy drunk way before me."

"What do I get if I win?"

"How about a favor?"

"What kind?"

"Anything you want. But if I win, I get a favor from you."

"I don't know about anything. Nothing illegal. And no sex stuff."

"Fine. Deal?"

"Deal." You bumped your glasses together and finished off your fourth drink for the night. Minseok had been keeping up with you just to propose this. The others encouraged you while Minseok refilled both of your drinks. Kyungsoo draped his arm on your shoulders from next to you on the sofa. Still on his second rum mixture.

"You know," Chanyeol spoke up. The rapper had his legs sprawled wide on the floor, sitting back against the blank wall on a pillow to cushion his ass. You lost count of his drinks after Minseok stole your attention away. "We haven't drunk together since that band camp party third year."

"Oh yeah," you recalled fondly. A laugh escaped you. "That saxophone player almost blew us all up."

"And you insisted on staying inside afterward."

"What happened?" Sehun questioned. All ears turned to you. Minseok brought your refill and sat down.

"There was a party our band had after we won competition that spring. Someone started a bonfire after it got dark, but someone else brought fireworks. It fell over right before going off and exploded inside the bonfire."

"I thought I'd shit myself!" Chanyeol barked out in laughter. You joined.

"I was so terrified. We had to fucking leap away while splinters flew everywhere! No one was hurt, but holy shit..."

"You reached a new level of drunk that night."

"There are levels?" Baekhyun asked excitedly.

"First." Chanyeol held up the corresponding amount of fingers. "The giggly bitch. Laughs at everything." As if to prove his point you giggled at his statement. "Two. Clumsy. Loss of coordination and balance. I can always tell she's starting to get drunk when she sways in place. This is usually where she stops because she doesn't want to reach peak drunk Y/N. Peak drunk Y/N is super flirty and loose."

"Oh my god," Baekhyun beamed. "Our dove is a slutty drunk!"

"Maybe a little," you admitted with a grin, making everyone laugh.

"So what was the level at the band party?" Jongdae asked.

"I'm getting there," Chanyeol replied with an amused smirk "Level four. Clingy. It doesn't matter what you're doing Y/N will want your attention and physical affection. And finally, level five. She passes out." You recall the night in question. You had actually pretended to fall asleep so he wouldn't try to have sex with you. But no amount of drinks would make you admit that to him. Because then you would have to explain how you felt after the first time. Never. Never seemed a good time for that.

"Damn," Jongin scoffed. "Which of those levels do you blackout at?"

"Somewhere in between three and four. Only did that once, though. I don't like getting drunk."

"Wake up in some assholes bed?"

"Something like that." Kyungsoo's arm slipped down to your waist and tightened around you, leaning his head on your shoulder.

"Hey!" Chanyeol yelled in mock offense. "I was not an asshole! I bought you pizza the next morning for the hangover."

"It was delicious pizza I'll give you that." He seemed satisfied with that and the conversation cleared to something Jongdae said.

It took an hour for the alcohol to catch up with you. The room swayed. Your vision processed slower. Everyone was in relatively the same state, but some hid it better. Kyungsoo for example was laughing more freely and not moving your hand from his thigh, but that was about it. At one point his fingers dug into your upper thigh, but Jongin teased him for being handsy so he stopped. While on the other spectrum Minseok was very, very flirty. Once the tongues were loosened you knew you were in trouble.

"I think you both lose," Sehun announced.

"Why?" Minseok defended.

"Because you're both sloppy."

"Am not," you replied. "I'm still perfectly aware. If anyone is sloppy it's Baekhyun."

"I'm not part of your bet," the boy called over.

"No, but you've been eye fucking me all night. At least you're usually more subtle about it."

"What?"

"Don't act innocent. I notice how you've watch Kyungsoo and me for months with those pretty eyes. You're not getting a show no matter how hard you wish for it, pervert."

"Ha!" Minseok exclaimed. "She's got you pegged!" Baekhyun's face went bright red, stammering.

"I-I do not want to watch my two friends fucking. Are you kidding me? That-that sounds s-so wrong."

"I've thought about it," the oldest shrugged with a smirk. "But Soo was the one watching."

"Careful," Kyungsoo warned.

"Although it would feed your jealous kick to fuck your precious jagi in front of us, wouldn't it?"

"Please," you scoffed in return. "Like I'd ever let any of you near me."

"Oh you wouldn't?" Minseok was challenging you again. He stood from his chair and swaggered over to the couch. Kyungsoo put his lips to your ear and murmured a low,

"Behave." It sent shivers down your spine. Then his body heat was retreating from your side. You watched Minseok intently as he stood in front of you, large eyes appraising you. That cocky, hungry look he reserved for his prey. You did your best to quell the warmth spreading through your body. It was a powerful look coming from him. Honed over the years to affect anyone on the receiving end. He plucked your drink from your hands and took a sip. His free hand popped open the top button on his shirt. You snickered at his attempt to seduce you. Minseok glared.

"Why are you laughing?"

"You look ridiculous."

"Then how would you try to get Kyungsoo's attention, miss perfect?"

"I don't have to try at all." That earned some ooh's and stifled laughter.

"How does he get yours, then?" You motioned like you were zipping your lips shut. His smirk grew. Your drink was put on the coffee table and then Minseok was bending over, hands supporting himself on your thighs. His face was inches from yours. "Does he touch you? Or maybe our cute Kyungsoo isn't so cute in the bedroom? Dirty talk? Does he call you a special name, babygirl?" Your face flushed, glancing away from his burdensome stare. "Bingo."

"What is it, Soo?" Jongdae questioned with a grin. Yixing laughed it off.

"Definitely not babygirl. I bet it's something traditional like sweetheart or darling."

"No no no," Jongin objected. "It's gotta be more sweet. Like princess." They threw out a couple more nicknames. Kyungsoo was sinking further into the cushions with embarrassment. Then Baekhyun's eyebrows shot up with a revelation.

"Oh my god," he grinned proudly. "It's sugar, isn't it? I remember overhearing Soo on the phone one time." Minseok's fingertips held tighter to your legs.

"Oh, I do remember that now. How cute." You kissed Minseok's cheek and winked. His face tinted a fetching pink.

"You're gonna need to try harder to fluster me."

"Try teasing whore," Chanyeol commented. You shot him a glare. "Trust me on this, Min. She likes it rough." His smirk returned. Minseok lifted a hand to grip your chin lightly, tilting your face up.

"Our dove is like this? Now I want to know more than ever if you're a good girl." His tongue ran over his lips. "Or are you really a dirty little slut hiding behind these clothes? Care to show me? I've always wondered what it would be like to be a mistress in an affair." How was his gaze so intoxicating? You were dizzy. It was hard to focus. His face inched closer. You narrowed your eyes. Was he actually about to try and kiss you? A new touch pulled your attention away. Kyungsoo had his hand high on your thigh. A warning. You weakly pushed on Minseok's chest. He took a step back and straightened his posture. You leaned into Kyungsoo's side, hiding your face in his neck.

"Kyungsoo," you whimpered pathetically. His palm rubbed up and down your thigh sensually. The simple touch had heat rising in your body. You squeezed your legs together tightly. You wanted those fingers inside you. Not massaging your thigh. It was getting harder to think about anything else. The desire was clouding your mind.

"She's mine," he declared calmly. "That's all you need to know." You dragged a heavy palm down the center of Kyungsoo's chest, stopping just above his jeans. Those tight, sinful jeans.

"His," you breathed softly. To the point you weren't even sure Kyungsoo heard it.

"Enough teasing Minseok," Jongin brushed off. "You know it's hard to tell when you're joking." Their words drowned out after that. The only thing you could think of was how good it felt being pressed against Kyungsoo. How swimmy your head was. How delicious he smelled. How every time you shifted your clothes rubbed on your body and made it uncomfortable. It was too hot in this damn apartment. He must be dying to get out of those boiling pants. Like you were dying to have his fingers in you. Kyungsoo would fix it, you thought. Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo...

The body under you stiffened. Your hand was moved, and you looked up. Kyungsoo had this bewildered, scandalized look twisting his features. You blinked slowly, not comprehending.

"I take it back," Sehun spoke. "Y/N loses. She is clearly off her face."

"What'd I do?" you whined. "Kyungsoo?"

"Holy shit Chanyeol," Baekhyun snickered. "You weren't kidding at all." Whatever. It must not matter. You bunched Kyungsoo's shirt in your hand and squirmed, lips going to the crook of his neck.

"Play with me," you whispered hotly. "I'm so wet already for you. Fuck you're sexy..."

"This is so unfair," Minseok piped up. The sofa dipped beside you, but you refused to acknowledge it. Not when Kyungsoo's long, slender neck kept tempting you to mark it. "Why do I have to try so hard to get womens' attention? Kyungsoo spent an hour with Y/N when they met and now they're in love!"

"Bitter much?" Jongdae teased.

"Maybe if you weren't such a playboy," the leader muttered. "People see through that, you know." Something pushed on your shoulders, forcing your lips from Kyungsoo's skin. Any other comments or conversations the others were having passed over your head. He was so utterly stunning. Dark brown eyes, thick eyebrows, soft nose, supple pink lips, defined jaw.

"I think it's time to get you to bed," he said sternly. "Come on, jagi." When he stood he grabbed your hand and you followed blindly. He stopped at the kitchen sink to fill a cup. Once his hand left yours you clung to his shoulders for balance. Your fingers wandered around his waist. Your core throbbed with need. You wanted him in a bad way. Anything to quell the ache between your legs. Your fingers reached for the button on his pants. He gasped and jumped, slapping your hands away. "I told you to behave," he growled lowly. You snagged your lip with your teeth. He turned to face you, setting the glass of water aside. You grappled to his shirt, pressing your bodies closer.

"How can I when all I want is you fucking me until I can't walk? Kyungsoo~" You knew you sounded petulant, but you didn't care. You rested your head on his chest. "I want you so much it hurts. Please stay with me."

"Maybe you should be good then, or is it past time for a punishment?" Your restless hands went up so your arms were around his neck.

"Make it hurt."

"You're impossible in this state," he grumbled. Kyungsoo forced you off him. "Get in bed. I'll be there as soon as I can, sugar." That sounded like a promise. You beamed. "But drink this before you go." He held out the water. You nodded and gulped down the entire glass. Then you obediently turned and wished the rest of the boys goodnight. They all waved and were polite as could be. All the escapades of the night forgotten already.

"Hey dove," Baekhyun cooed. "I'm sorry for staring so much. I don't mean it in a wrong way." You went over and pushed his bangs aside, kissing his forehead.

"I know, Baekkie. You're so sweet. Sleep well." Your fingers combed through his locks one more time. "You have really soft hair."

"Enjoy your night with Soo," he whispered back with a wink. You giggled and went to your shared room. Enjoy it you would. The first step in doing that: removing all of your uncomfortable clothes.

[iamjacsmusings]

MCU Challenge musings

18 weeks. 18 films. The MCU Challenge. In collaboration with Team #Geekstalkers. Collated musings below, all leading to Infinity War.

#1 - Iron Man

Robert Downey Jnr IS Tony Stark, Tony Stark IS Iron Man, Iron Man IS the first MCU Avenger. Without this we wouldn’t have the MCU as we know and love it. Despite that, coming soon after Batman’s triumphant return as it does, I can’t help but feel the identikit Iron Man Begins falls a little flat. The weak MCU villain problem is present and incorrect right from Mk 1 too.

#2 - The Incredible Hulk

Tonally misjudged and (latterly) at odds with the hulk as we know and love him in the shared MCU. Watching now, 15 entries later, it feels non-canon. As a standalone, inspired by the 70s show, it’s fine.

#3 - Iron Man 2

Probably [one of] the weakest #mcuchallenge entries for me as it aims for “cool” moments rather than developing character or overarching story. On the flipside, it introduces us to ScarJo’s Black Widow

#4 - Thor

In no particular order: the direction of Branagh, the realisation of the Rainbow bridge, the triple H acting of Hemsworth, Hiddleston and Hopkins, the hilarious humour, the majesty of Mjolnir, the Shakespearean plot machinations; all are Thor-some!

#5 - Captain America: The First Avenger

I (too) was predisposed to preferring this origin above all Avengers due to my predilection for Captain America as a character, so the bar was set high. Johnson, the perfectly chosen director, exceeded it by making a boys own adventure replete with echoes of his Lucasfilm roots. It’s underrated in my opinion and should be considered as the Raiders of Phase One. Joe Johnson just *got* 1940s Adventure-era Cap. As too does Evans who only continues to get better with each subsequent appearance. I could watch Cap movies all day…

#6 - Avengers Assemble

Still top 5 MCU of all-time. The Avengers characterisations are spot on in this initial assemblage; no mean feat considering the wealth of source material, the origins of Phase One and the balancing act of at least seven key roles. Come the epic Chitauri invasion finale and from the Avengers arc shot onwards there’s too many fist-pumping, geekgasm moments to mention; spine tingling each and every one of them.

#7 - Iron Man 3

As a fanboy of @BonafideBlack’s buddy banter and noir stylings, I’m on board with his Iron Man entry (noir is an anagram of Iron after all) He write characters therefore it came as no surprise that his take delves beneath the suit to the mechanic that wears it. I’m aware I’m in the minority, but the first two don’t do much for me therefore this is like a shot of extremis to Shellhead’s previously floundering solo entries. It still looks to be Stark’s swansong and, if so, it’s a fine way to finish IMO. Kiss Kiss Iron Man, if you will. The “barrel of monkeys” scene is one of the stand out scenes from the entire MCU too.

#8 - Thor: The Dark World

The tone, palette and plot of this inferior sequel is arguably more aligned with the much maligned DC(E)U rather than the rightly-lauded MCU; make of that what you will. I’d gladly watch an anthology prequel about the Lord of the Aether battle glimpsed in the prologue though…

#9 - Captain America: The Winter Soldier

An espionage thriller every bit as good as the best Bourne or Bond has to offer, Captain America: The Winter Soldier just happens to have a few present and future Avengers at its centre. The undisputed leader of the Avengers as the 18-strong MCU currently stands, the more I revisit Captain America Super Soldier, the closer the film creeps towards my current cream of the big screen comic book crop, The Dark Knight.

#10 - Guardians of the Galaxy

Guardians of the Galaxy is better than any film about a half-Terran cross between Han Solo and Indiana Jones, a walking thesaurus, a talking tree, a green-skinned warrior woman and a bad-tempered raccoon has any right to be. I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve seen GotG already. There’s so much to admire, so much Galaxy to explore. it bears repeat viewing. Every joke still lands. Every emotional beat pulls a heart string. Every character is worthy of fronting their own galactic adventure. We. Are. Groot.

#11 - Avengers: Age of Ultron

There’s much to admire in this movie as Whedon ably juggles the ever-growing ensemble cast; each one gets their moment so, no matter who your favourite is, you should feel satisfied come the conclusion. The action scenes pay off with key moments that remain in the memory: the team line-up, “Go to sleep, go to sleep”, Black Widow on the bike, Hawkeye motivating Scarlet Witch and the arc shot around the Avengers as they end the threat of too many Ultrons. Quiet moments pay off too: the party is perfect (especially Thor’s face as Cap moves Mjolnir), the interlude at ranch Barton is a top idea and the lull in the final fight manages to move; I even welled up a little as Cap and Widow debate their fate this watch. In short, it’s endlessly rewatchable, as my SuperSon has put to the test.

#12 - Ant-Man

Easily the most underrated entry in the entirety of the MCU to date, Ant-Man is also, upon reflection, my favourite solo character origin story. Giant-sized words, I know!

#13 - Captain America: Civil War

War! What is it good for? Captain America movies!

I love Civil War. It’s edgy. It;s important. It’s epic! It truly feels like a “superhero comic book movie” ripped from the panelled page. And, Thor damn, the Russo’s sure can shoot the shit (Sorry, Cap) out of an action scene. Speaking of scenes, there’s one in Fight Club when the Narrator and Tyler mock a Gucci advertisement, asking if it’s what a real man look like. It’s not, no. What a real man looks like is Captain America holding a helicopter with one arm and a building with the other. Swoon.

I could watch this on repeat all day. 

#14 - Doctor Strange

Let’s face it, Cumberbatch was the only choice for Strange, as suited to the hyper-intelligent, egotistical, socially-awkward auteur as Downey Jr was to Stark’s genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist. By this point in the MCU, Marvel can do origin with ease as this return to formula proves. Whilst Doctor Strange does remind you of movies from before (Iron Man, Batman Begins, Inception, Matrix), it patches them together into a kaleidoscopic Frankenstein of its own making.

Oh, one more thing: it goes without saying how awesome Doctor Strange’s enchanted Cloak of Levitation is – I’d argue it’s the single best cinema companion since Gromit!

#15 - Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol Two

GotG amped up to 11, Vol. 2 is less a case of difficult second volume, more Gunn locked and loaded. GotG2 is deeper, richer and cleverer than it’s predecessor, if not as instantly iconic nor anarchic in its punk rock aesthetics or impact. Ego, we’ve all got to grow up sometime. Following the near perfection of the first Volume was always going to be a tricky proposition, but this sophomore space saga soars true enough and will surely, in time, serve as a solid central entry in a worthy Guardians of the Galaxy stand-alone trilogy.

#16 - Spider-Man: Homecoming

Did I need another resuited Spider-Man movie so soon after the last aborted attempt? I didn’t think so until I saw this coming-of-age comedy that referenced Ferris Bueller, BttF: Part II and The Breakfast Club (among others)

Did I need another iteration of Spider-Man and his teen geek alter-ego Peter Parker? I didn’t think so until I saw Tom Holland’s infectiously enthusiastic and ultimately incomparable portrayal of everyone’s favourite neighbourhood webslinging wannabe Avenger.

Did I need another potentially disappointing take on a classic Spider-Man villain? I didn’t think so until Michael Keaton’s birdman soared above almost any other adapted antagonist from the entirety of comic canon – not since Loki have I feared and cheered in equal measure.

Did I need another big screen Spider-Man blockbuster? I didn’t think so until I understood what this wall-crawlers direction was under the genius creative control of chief Watcher Feige within the winning MCU. Now I need more, for thwips sake…

#17 - Thor Ragnarok

Space fantasy as its Flash(“ahh ah”)iest, Ragnarok is: Thorsome, Hela good, Full of gloriously glib Loki asides, a Hulk load of fun, great Valkyrie for money! Third time’s the charm for the God of Thunder. I can’t TaikaWaititi to see the Revengers return in Infinity War!

#18 - Black Panther

Stunning Wakanda world building. Convincing and charismatic cast performances. Strong character motivations. Serious and meaningful underlying themes. Too much CGI. MCU continuity issues. Nowhere near enough Michael B Jordan. Good not great. Middling MCU Challenge entry for me.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #235 - White Christmas

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: DVD

0) I know Christmas was a week ago but I’m just getting the chance to write this now so thanks for your patience everyone! :D

1) This was actually the THIRD film Bing Crosby sang “White Christmas” in after Holiday Inn and Blue Skies.

2) This film’s opening scene does well to establish the tone of the picture. It’s hopeful and sweet against a harsh backdrop, with showmen Bob Wallace and Phil Davis doing their best to bring some Christmas cheer to WW2 soldiers. It also establishes what kind of a man General Waverly is, which is important. The entire motivation for the film is helping this man out, this great men who all those soldiers care about so much. We understand why in this prologue.

3) The first singing of “White Christmas” also does well to play up the movie’s heart. It gives a sense of the sentiment and kindness that permeates the two hour run time.

4) Danny Kaye as Phil Davis.

Kaye is the ultimate scene stealer of the entire show and was actually the third choice for the role. He is incredibly funny, bringing a much welcome energy and charisma to the part. He’s crafty (manipulating Bob in a harmless yet devious way), clever, and has a great chemistry with Bing Crosby’s Bob Wallace. Of the main four stars, Kaye is definitely my favorite.

5) Bing Crosby as Bob Wallace.

The straight man of Wallace & Davis, Crosby still gets to show off a nice sense of humor in the film. He gets the chance to be serious, fun, kind, a little sad, a little mad, romantic, and pulls all of them off well as the film’s solid lead. Obviously his vocal chops were a big part of the character, but he’s Bing Crosby. I don’t think there was ever a doubt he could sing.

6) The montage which follows the prologue does well to establish the post war rise of Wallace & Davis in showbiz. It’s an important aspect in the film which could have really slowed done the part but the montage is sleek and fun so as not to bore the audience.

7) The conversation with Bob and Phil about how the latter wants the former to start dating so he can have some time alone really defines their relationship moving forward. We understand how good of friends they are that they can be candid but fun with each other. They joke, they tell it like it is, they play, and I just really like that.

8)

Betty: “Benny’s got a job in Alaska. He’s been out of the country for three months.”

9) The relationship between Betty and Judy is wonderfully defined - not by their song - but by their conversation before the song. We understand how this relationship works much as the conversation with Bob & Phil established their friendship. We get how Judy sees Betty and vice versa and it’s great. A nice female friendship where there’s no bickering over a guy, a rare treat in the 1950s. Although I will say I never bought Vera-Ellen as being the younger sister here.

10) Rosemary Clooney as Betty.

Clooney is an extremely kind, likable, charismatic, and endearing performer who really elevates the role of Betty. She has a very nice chemistry with Crosby and is just so damn interesting. Which is good, because on paper Betty is freaking awful. I’ll talk about this more, but we get a sense of what’s to come with her holier-than-thou attitude when Bob begins talking about “angles”. Basically I love Rosemary Clooney in this movie, but I hate how Betty is written. It’s frustrating to say the least.

11) “The Best Things Happen While You’re Dancing”

This early number shows off one of the film’s weakest and strongest elements simultaneously. Most if not all of the numbers do nothing to actually motivate the plot forward, instead just filling up the two hour run time. HOWEVER they’re almost all so damn entertaining it’s hard to actually find fault with this. You’re too busy enjoying the show!

12) According to IMDb:

According to Rosemary Clooney, Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye's "Sisters" performance was not originally in the script. They were clowning around on the set, and director Michael Curtiz thought it was so funny that he decided to film it. In the scene, Crosby's laughs are genuine and unscripted, as he was unable to hold a straight face due to Kaye's comedic dancing. Clooney said the filmmakers had a better take where Crosby didn't laugh, but when they ran them both, people liked the laughing version better.

13) Ah, the only person of color in the movie. And they’re servers.

14) “Snow”

Snow is probably the second most Christmas-y song in the film after “White Christmas”. It shows off the four leads unity well (although Vera-Ellen didn’t do her own singing) and is one of my favorite numbers in the whole film. It’s charming and sweet, filled with winter charm and spirit. I dig it.

15) I like that the greenness of Vermont is a detail but not a focus of the film. Yes it’s called “White Christmas” and yes snow does bring in business to the hotel, but the conflict isn’t about trying to get it to snow it’s about trying to make an old friend happy for the holidays.

16) Dean Jagger General Waverly.

Waverly is the personification of the movie’s heart and sincerity, while also being my favorite character in the movie. You see how caring he is through subtle ways. He’s not one to express his emotions or his heart but you can see it clearly in Jagger’s performance. He is able to be commanding when necessary but more than that he is a kind, sometimes sad, honest man. I love it.

17) This was always one of my favorite gags in the film.

Bob [after hearing over the phone how much something will cost]: “Wow.”

Phil […]: “How much is wow?”

Bob: “Right in between in between, ‘ouch,’ and, ‘poing.’”

Phil: “Wow.”

18) The Minstrel Number.

This is one of the longest, most pointless numbers in the entire film. There is a great amount of entertainment and production value but it adds nothing to the story. While it is probably the strongest out of the three “performances” (the rehearsals Wallace & Davis are holding at the hotel), like the other two you can cut it and lose absolutely nothing from the film.

19) According to Rosemary Clooney, Bing Crosby improvised almost all of his dialogue in the scene where she meets him in the kitchen. You can tell and I mean that as a compliment. There is an honest spontaneity to the conversation which pulls you in because it’s so interesting.

20) “Count Your Blessings” is a wonderfully kind and moving number which has you invested in the romance between Bob/Betty quickly. Too bad the writing with Betty has me totally DISINTERESTED in them actually ending up together. But more on that later…

21) The scene where we learn that Waverly wanted back in the army but gets rejected not only develops him as a character (his motivations, his desires) but the heart of the film as well.

22) I mentioned that “The Minstrel Number” was one of three totally pointless numbers in the movie. “Choreography” is by far the worst offending of those three. It is not nearly entertaining enough to warrant its run time and serves as close to offending filler. Honestly just cut it.

23) Ah yes, what I’ve been hinting at this whole recap. The bane of my existence, the thing I hate in this movie above all else: freaking Betty becoming such a passive aggressive shit head! If you haven’t seen this movie let me recap:

Betty hears some BS about Bob out of context which paints him in a negative light

She takes this half-assed rumor as fact and immediately accepts it

She never ONCE actually talks to Bob about it

And then she just LEAVES! She runs away WITHOUT ACTUALLY SAYING WHY SHE’S UPSET!

BOB LITERALLY DOES NOTHING WRONG DURING THIS ENTIRE FILM, BETTY NEVER APOLOGIZES, AND BOB SPENDS THE REST OF THE MOVIE FEELING BAD OVER SOMETHING HE DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO!

It is infuriating and I hate Betty because of it. I hate her I hate her I hate her! BUT Rosemary Clooney is so damn charming I love her performance in the movie! But on paper alone Betty is being a passive aggressive shit who Bob devotes way too much energy into trying to appease her. IT’S NOT WORTH IT BOB! Of all the contrived pieces of bullshit in an attempt to add conflict in their relationship, this is the most painfully obvious piece of crap I have ever seen. I love this movie but dear god I freaking hate Betty in the last act.

24) I love that Judy basically cons Phil into an engagement with her and how freaked out he gets by it. Suddenly the dynamic of their relationship just shifted and it’s glorious.

25) A fine piece of 50s BS sexist writing: suddenly Judy is a weeping hysterical woman because her plan didn’t go the way she thought. Which literally matches with NOTHING we learned about her before this moment.

26) “Love You Didn’t Do Right By Me”

First of all, this is such a melodramatic and shitty move. “Love You Didn’t Do Right By Me?” SERIOUSLY!? Maybe it would’ve IF YOU TALKED TO BOB! I know that Betty asks to sing a different song when Bob shows up but clearly the filmmakers are trying something with this and I just, ugh, I HATE IT!

Second of all, the number is actually a great tune and a wonderful showcase for Rosemary Clooney’s talents. It’s her only solo in the entire film and she absolutely nails it. So again, a great example of how I love Clooney but I hate Betty in this film.

27) Phil keeping Waverly away from the TV set is an excellent showcase for Danny Kaye’s comedic talents. He may not be Charlie Chaplin but he’s damn good.

28) “What Can You Do with a General?”

Leonard Maltin called this composer Irving Berlin’s least memorable tune. I disagree and in fact really enjoy it. It’s got a sense of cleverness to it. It’s sweet, a nice tune. A little slow but it gets stuck in your head. So in short: I disagree with Leonard Maltin.

29) The look on Waverly’s face is everything this film was about. EVERYTHING.

30) “Gee, I Wish I Was Back in the Army” is a fun and fitting near-climactic musical number for the film. It’s fun, funny, representative of the joy and humor that Wallace & Davis wanted to bring Waverly. Also, according to IMDb:

For the song "Gee, I Wish I Was Back In The Army", there is the lyric, "Jolson, Hope And Benny all for free". This is a reference to three wartime entertainers: Al Jolson, Bob Hopeand Jack Benny. The original words were "Crosby, Hope and Jolson all for free", but the lyric was changed because with Bing Crosby in the cast the original lyric would break the fourth wall.

31) While obvious from the film’s title, the snow fall at the end is a sweet way to wrap the story up. It’s not made into a big deal, they just enjoy it’s beauty. This leads into the final performance of “White Christmas” which acts as a poignant and fitting finale to the story.

White Christmas is a holiday classic with a great heart and sense of fun. The cast knock it out of the park and the music is great, and although I may have issues with some character writing (freaking Betty) I still love the film as a whole. I definitely recommend it.

[i-write-about-anything]

Little Beta(s) Chapter 32

Prompt: Liam get’s turned at an early age and he looks at you as his guardian/parent. Plus you’re dating Scott who’s always trying to look after him. (10 year gap between Liam and reader)

Pairing: Liam Dunbar x Reader (platonic) Scott McCall x Reader, Derek Hale (younger and platonic) x Reader

Chapters:

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20- 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 -25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31

Reader's POV

Three hours, that’s how long it had been since I last saw Derek. Saying I was worried was definitely an understatement. Scott wasn’t helping either as he stood silent for what seemed another eternity. Liam couldn’t take the silence Scott was taking, he stood up and started pacing. That only got me even more impatient. “Scott.” I finally had the voice crack through my throat. Scott’s eyes met mine and I was sure I saw tears in them making me fear the worst. “No.” I whispered out as I shook my head and put my hands over my mouth. Liam looked at me before he stopped in his tracks. Scott closed his eyes opening his mouth to talk but closing it as sighed and wrapped his arms around me.

“Hey, it’s okay. He’s fine.” Scott’s voice spoke lowly and I couldn’t help but to push him off of me. “Baby.” I shook my head and I took Liam into my arms as I cried. Liam’s arms tightened around me and I couldn't shake the fear off. Scott’s way of telling me everything wasn't the way he should have done it. “I’m sorry, I just.” Scott sighed as he put his hand on my lower back. “I’m still shaky about it all, he almost.” He shook his head. “And I was in there and I shouldn’t have because it scared the shit out of me.” I sighed as his hand came up to wipe the tears out of my face. 

“You scared the shit out of me.” I closed my eyes as Liam stepped back from our embrace and looked at me. “It’s okay.” I gave him a weak smile as he wrapped his arms around my right one. I looked at Scott who’s eyes were still glossy and I sighed. “What happen?” Scott shook his head. 

“Nothing you should know. Come on, my mom finally got him stabilized.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder only for his hand to be met by Liam’s head on my shoulder. He sighed as he ran his fingers through Liam’s hair. Scott looked at him and I knew he was thinking about something by the way his eyes sparkled. “It could have been him.” Scott whispered and I looked at his eyes as his slowly looked back. “It could have been him, he could have been the one in there and I know that would have killed you ten times worse than it would have killed me.” I shook my head and placed a hand on his cheek. 

“Don’t think like that. Derek’s in there, he’s a part of this family and as fucked up as we are right now we need to pull it together, for him.” I looked at Liam before looking back at Scott. “Come on, I need to see him.” I whispered as I started to walk. Scott intertwined his fingers with mine as Liam walked on the other side of me. Scott took the lead as he walked us towards Derek's room where Melissa was standing at the door. The tears in her eyes spilled as she embraced me into her arms. 

“I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now.” She whispered in my ear as I tried to shake Liam’s arms off of mine so I could hug her back but he wasn’t bulging. “It took a while to get him alright, we tried everything, Deaton was quick to get here, he knew what to do, nothing was working.” She spoke as she pulled away and looked at Liam. “Are you okay?” He simply nodded not wanting to speak in fear of breaking once again. I heard a cough on the other side of the door and I couldn’t help but to look passed her as I imagined Derek in pain.

“Can we see him?” I looked at her and she smiled nodding before wiping her tears and taking a deep breath in and opening the door. I was the first one to step in and fuck was I scared when I saw him hooked up to so many machines. His red puffy eyes met mine and he gave me the weakest smile he’s ever shown. I didn't say a word as Scott and Liam stepped in to stand beside me, the tears slipped from my eyes and Derek’s smile faded as his eyebrows scrunched together. 

“Mom, I'm fine.” He spoke softly and I didn’t realize I was running to him until my arms were wrapped around him. 

“I’m okay.” He whispered as his arms wrapped around me. I shook my head and looked at him wiping the tears off of his own face. 

“You scared us.” Liam’s voice spoke softly behind me.

“You think I'd leave you alone?” Derek spoke trying to lighten the mood as his hand grabbed mine. “And let you have mom all to yourself?” I shook my head closing my eyes at the sound of his small chuckles, something I thought I had never hear again. His eyes darted towards Scott and he immediately bit his lip. 

“I’m sorry, this shouldn’t have happened, it’s all my fault.” Scott spoke and I shook my head once more. 

“Stop, this isn’t anyone’s fault but Gerard’s.” I growled his name out as Scott spared his life once again. “How are you feeling?” I looked at Derek desperate to change the subject. 

“Like shit.” He huffed out and I didn’t want to scold him for his language. 

“You look like shit.” Liam spoke and I glared at him. 

“Language.” I hissed at him, sure, Derek could get away with it for now but he sure as hell wasn't. 

“Do you need anything?” Scott spoke as he sat on the bed and Liam sighed as he sat on the chair next to the bed. 

“My bed.” He chuckled and I smiled as he quickly recovered from his near death. 

“Well I don’t know if they’ll let you go home, but I can see what I can do.” Scott smiled before patting Derek in the knee and getting up to walk out the door. I was left with Liam and Derek as they both stared at each other. 

“Sorry I scared you.” Derek spoke and Liam smiled slightly. “I was scared too.” He gulped and squeezed my hand. “I don’t remember much but I'm really glad you didn’t let me die.” He smiled up at me.

“I would never let you die.” I ruffled his hair and looked at Liam. “Neither of you.” I stretched out my arm for Liam and he happily stood up to come to my side. “I’m just happy that you’re both okay.” I smiled kissing Liam’s forehead before kissing Derek’s. 

“Good news.” Scott spoke making us all jump. 

______________

Liam’s POV

We had to help Derek walk into the house and I was more than happy to help. Mom had been moving everything out the way to make it easier on us to move around the house after I nearly tripped on one of my shoes. I made a mental note to never leave my shoes in the middle of the living room again. Derek was wincing in pain and I couldn’t help the constant sorries that fell out of my mouth every time he closed his eyes. We managed to get him into his bed before we put him in more pain than he already was. “Liam.” Derek spoke before I could walk out of his room. Dad looked at him before nodding at me and walking out, closing the door behind him. “Thank you.” I looked at him confusingly before he opened his mouth to talk again. “For letting me into your home and sharing your mom, and Scott. For actually letting me call her mom and not kicking my ass. I know we didn’t get a long at first but I like to think that we’re a lot better now. I really do think of you as my brother.” He spoke and I smiled. 

“Why did you do it?” I asked and he looked at me. “Push me out the way so you could be the one to save mom?” I bit my lip and he sighed.

“Because I couldn’t let mom lose you, you’re her son since the day you met her and I knew that if she were to lose you she would completely lose her mind. I was there when the Anuk-Ite was messing with her.” He looked at his fingers as he fiddled with them. “Her biggest fear was losing you. She was frantic as we were looking for you she could have sworn you were dead in her arms, Scott had to calm her down before she had a panic attack. If you were in my place she wouldn’t have made it out of that place alive and we both know it.” I sighed and sat on the chair next at his desk. “She doesn’t owe me anything, so I figured that it should have been me, I'm no one to her but a kid that came into her house and calls her mom now, if I were to die it wouldn’t have impacted her as much as it would have impacts her if it was you, that’s why I did it.” He smiled slightly. 

“Is that what you really think?” I heard mom’s voice causing both mine and Derek’s head to snap towards his door. “That you’re nobody to me?” She walked towards us and I gulped as I stood up but she immediately put her hand on my shoulder making me sit on the chair once more. “Derek just because I don’t know you since you were a small kid doesn’t mean I don’t think of you as a son. Derek if you had died today I would have never been able to get over it, yes my biggest fear is loosing Liam and yes he’s been my son for years but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have been just as devastated. I love you Derek, you’ve become the best version of yourself these past months and I couldn’t be happier with your transformation. You care about Liam, about Scott, about me. You care about everyone but yourself, you’ve helped Liam more than I could ever repay you and even though you we have had our down I will always be here to pick us all up.” She sat on his bed and he wiped his tears. “I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t care about you just like I care about Liam, because I do. You both are my boys, even you Scott, I know you’re listening from the hallway, get your ass in here.” Mom chuckled and dad walked in with his hands behind him. 

“I was just trying to get to the room.” He spoke as he pointed to the hall with his thumb.

“You’re a terrible liar.” She laughed and looked at me. “How are you holding up?” I licked my lips before sighing. 

“I don’t know.” I whisper. I didn’t know how I was holding up and that was the truth. I didn’t want to say I was fine because I knew I wasn’t, none of us were. 

“Come here.” Mom spoke opening her arms for me and I didn’t think twice before walking into them sitting on the bed. “I know today was a scary day and I don’t want any of you to bottle up your feelings just because of it, none of us are fine and that’s okay.” She spoke as she rubbed my back and I couldn’t help but to relax. It had been a horrible day and night and she knew that, it scared me to think that they were still out there but I didn’t want to let her know, at least not until everything is somewhat back to normal.

_______________

tags; @leslieandjensen @hirafth @neptuneluek @lydiasbxtch @adellyhatter-blog @nxthing-lasts-fxrever@letmebecomeataboo @cloudchaserr @nerdyowlbookfreak @xcastawayherosx @k-baileyy@scotttstilinskii @therealmrshale @thesuperkpopfan @queen–glitch @my-body-is-not-a-temple@mutifandomgirl @moo0803 @hautedbybieber

[imjustthemechanic]

The Stone Knight

Part 1/? - Two Statues Part 2/? - A Curious Interview Part 3/? - John Doe Part 4/? - Escape Attempt Part 5/? - Making the News Part 6/? - Fallout Part 7/? - More Impossible Part 8/? - The Shield Thieves Part 9/? - Reality Sinks In Part 10/? - Preparing a Quest Part 11/? - The Marvelous History of Sir Stephen Part 12/? - Uninvited Guests Part 13/? - So That’s What It Does Part 14/? - The What and the Where Part 15/? - Gearing Up Part 16/? - Just Passing Through Part 17/? - Dinner with Druids Part 18/? - Kracness Henge Part 19/? - A Task Interrupted

The Red Death finally shows up in person.

Everybody leaned in to see what Sir Stephen had uncovered, and everyone was disappointed.  There was no sign of a grail or anything that might contain one – only a thriving colony of tiny black ants, running around in a fenzy as they realized their roof had been lifted off.

“Do those bite?” asked Sharon.  She was looking at Nat.

“I'm an archaeologist, not a myrmecologist,” Natasha replied, mostly just to show off that she knew the proper word.

“Well, you're both digging critters,” Sam pointed out.  “We thought you might know.”

“I can tell you that eighty-eight percent of all archaeologists do not bite,” Nat told him, deadpan.

“What about the other twelve?” he asked.

“If you step in our trench and leave giant modern boot prints all over our freshly-excavated twelfth-century ground level, we will definitely bite you!” she said.

Even Sir Stephen's miraculously enhanced muscles couldn't hold the stone up for very long, and the rest of them quickly crawled out from under it so he could set it down again.  If they were going to dig in the anthill, they were going to have to prop the stone on something. Sir Stephen's immediate idea was to use another one of the circle stones, but Natasha and Sharon joined forces to forbid it.

“You think we've got problems with the evil wizards and stuff,” said Natasha.  “The last thing we need to add to that is Historic Scotland on our asses.  Those guys make the KGB look merciful.”

“The fact that I haven't arrested any of you yet makes me an accessory to pretty much all the illegal things we've done so far,” Sharon added.  “I will not be an accessory to the destruction of a World Heritage Site!”

“I cannot stand and hold it up for hours on end!” Sir Stephen protested.

“What about that building we passed on the way in?” Sam asked. “It didn't look very world heritage-y.  We could take some of the rubble from that.”

They climbed back over the fence and headed back down the slope for a look.  The derelict building appeared to be a relic of one or other of the world wars, and there clearly hadn't been anybody looking after it – it was covered in lichen and grass, and the concrete walls were crumbling away in the fierce Orkney weather.  When new it must have looked much more solid than the bladelike standing stones a short walk away, but it clearly did not have their staying power. 

“What do you think?” asked Sam.

“There's no sign,” Natasha said.  If this place were protected, nobody had bothered to lable it as such, which would allow them to argue that they hadn't known.  “If worst comes to worst, we know a hell of a lot more about what went on here during the world wars than we do about the stone age.”

Sir Stephen selected a large chunk of concrete, with rusting rebar protruding from its broken ends, and tried to lift it.  He couldn't actually get it off the ground, but he could flip it over.  A half dozen of the crows swooped in to get at the worms and insects that had been living under it, while Sir Stephen grabbed the near edge and stood it up to flip it again.  He continued to progress in that way, rolling it end-over-end up the slope.

“How are we gonna get it over the fence?” asked Sam.

There was only one possible solution to that.  “We'll have to knock the fence down,” Nat admitted.

Sharon looked back at Sir Stephen.  “I don't think that'll be a problem.  You okay back there, Sisyphus?  Can we help?”

“I don't think all of you together would have the strength to assist me,” Sir Stephen grunted.

Nat let Sharon and Rushman get ahead of them a bit, while she and Sam fell back to walk on either side of Sir Stephen.  He was obviously straining himself every time he lifted the piece of masonry.  As fast as he healed, he probably didn't have to worry much about injuring himself.  Nat was more afraid that if he slipped, the chunk of concrete would fall and squash him.

He rolled the chunk over again, letting it hit the ground with a thud.  “May I ask, Natalia,” he said, “what is an archaeologist?”

Nat was amazed he had the breath to talk with.  “It's somebody who digs up old ruins and tombs to see what's in them,” she explained. “It helps us figure out how people lived and what happened in the past.”

“Tombs?”  Sir Stephen looked up at her and frowned.  “Do you not let the dead lie?”

“Depends on the dead,” Nat said.  “If there's somebody still around who says don't dig up my ancestors we usually leave them alone... usually.”  She could think of more than a few unfortunate incidents when such protests had been ignored.  “We can learn a lot from them.  What people ate, how long they lived, what they believed about the after life... we can find out if they moved around a lot, what diseases they suffered from...”

“Would you not be upset to think that in a thousand years somebody might dig up your bones to examine them?” asked Sir Stephen.

“Honestly, we fantasize about that,” said Nat with a smile.  It was a favourite topic of conversation among the archaeology faculty at Dundee and probably in other places as well.  “We've all got different plans for how we'll lie to the future with our corpses.”

“What about written histories, can you not use those?” Sir Stephen asked, panting as he turned the stone over again.

“They often don't tell us what we want to know,” said Nat. “Anyway, any written history was written by a person with their own point of view, and they'll leave things out or even make things up in order to support their argument.”  Zola had said that truth was something people made up, but for archaeologists, truth was something to dig up out of the muck of lies and omissions and misconceptions it got buried in, just like digging old bones out of the dirt.

They reached the fence.  The gate was obviously the weakest point – Sir Stephen stood his piece of concrete on end, turned it edge-on to the gate to focus the force on the smallest possible area, and gave it a tremendous shove.  It crashed through, ripping the gate right off its hinges, and then to everybody's horror it kept going, turning a couple more times before toppling on its side like a rolled coin, just inches short of colliding with the nearest of the standing slabs.

Everybody breathed a sigh of relief, and Sir Stephen headed in to stand the slab up again, while Natasha realized she could hear something.  Her phone was ringing in her jacket pocket.  She pulled it out and put it to one ear, covering the other with her hand in an attempt to block out the sound of the wind. “Hello?” she said.

She did not immediately hear the reply, because her companions seemed to decide this would be a good moment to hold a conversation.

“We've got a problem!” Sam said.  The biting wind meant everybody still had to shout to be heard.  “Sir Steve's the only one who can move the slab, but he's also the only one who can hold up the fallen stone!  How are we gonna do this?” 

“Maybe the rest of us together can hold the stone up while he puts the slab under it?” Rushman suggested.  “There's not ten of us, but we can try!”

“Everybody shut up, I'm on the phone!” Nat told them.  She tried again.  “Hello!  I can't hear you!”

“Dr. Rushman!”  It was the voice of the Sea Dog.  Nat had given him her number to ring if he thought the weather were about to change, or if somebody were coming.  “My radar's got three airborn targets coming in from the south!  They look like helicopters!  They could be for the refinery, but they're off course if they are, and you asked me to let you know about things like that!”

“Okay, thanks!” Nat said.  “Give me a few minutes, and I'll let you know if we're coming back!”  She put the phone away, and went to the edge of the cliff to see if his radar targets were visible to the naked eye.  With her hands around her face to protect her eyes from the wind, by squinting at the horizon she could just barely make out three little lights in the misty drizzle.

“What do you see?” asked Sir Stephen, as the others joined her.

“We've got incoming,” Nat replied.  “Could be nothing, but we better lie low just in case!”

Everybody looked at the crushed gate and the slab of concrete, and realized there was no way to fix it before their visitors arrived. They didn't want to go back to the boat before they knew for sure who their guests were, though, so they returned to the ruined building to crouch among the moldering walls.  From that vantage point they would be able to see if the helicopters turned away or passed over... but they didn't.  As they drew closer and closer they also descended lower and lower, and it started to look worryingly indeed like they intended to land not far away.

Even with the wind whistling by, Natasha could hear Rushman's labored breathing.  He sounded as if he were about to have an asthma attack, and she wondered if that were possible.  She'd never said anywhere that her father suffered from such an ailment, but she'd also never said he didn't.

“Are you okay?” she asked him.

“I'm too old for this!” he panted.

The first helicopter came in to land on a level area just beyond the ruined building and, unfortunately, between it and the wharf where the Sea Dog was waiting.  The rotor whirred to a stop, the door opened, and Zola stepped out, having to slide down from a sitting position like a child getting down from a sofa.  He was back in his black suit and tie, apparently not a bit conscious of the weather though the wind was stirring his mutton chops.

Behind him were two more men.  The first, Nat was startled to see, was Mr. Pierce, in a suit and tie and a long beige coat that was not at all appropriate for the cold weather.  He turned up his collar and folded his arms across his chest, shivering.  Then, as the other two helicopters also set down, Pierce moved aside to let a third man disembark. Natasha, peeking over the broken walls to watch, almost stopped breathing.  Here she was, for the second time in a week, seeing a statue come to life. Johann Totenkopf was a little over six feet tall and perhaps in his fifties, with pale skin and a receding hairline.  His face was fierce, his nose long and his eyebrows sharply tilted, his forehead and mouth deeply lined from long ears of frowning.  He was dressed in entirely normal clothing – a dark green down parka and a fur hat.

He looked around at the landscape, then turned as a man in a black uniform, a rifle in his hands, came running up to say smething to him.  Whatever it was, Nat couldn't hear him over the sound of wind and engines, but she had a good idea what it might be.  The broken gate and the slab of concrete would make it perfectly obvious that somebody else was here... and there weren't very many places that somebody could hide.

Nat wasn't the only one watching.  Sir Stephen was beside her, and she saw his hand go to the sword at his belt.  “The Red Death,” he growled, and began to stand up.  Nat had a horrifying mental image of him running straight at the man then and there, and she quickly tackled him to prevent it.  Sam and Sharon made the same observation, and had the same reaction.

“What the hell are you doing?” Nat hissed, once they'd wrestled Sir Stephen to the ground.  “You'd be dead before you got over the wall!”

“His sorcery cannot harm me, and none of his followers has so much as a dagger!” Sir Stephen protested.

“They've got guns, you moron!” said Nat, and then realized that might not mean anything to him.  Sir Stephen had been shot before, but at the time he must have been disoriented from suddenly popping into existence, and the warehouse might already have been on fire.  Maybe he hadn't realized where the shots had come from, only that they hurt.  She'd handed out guns to her companions, but hadn't demonstrated them for him.  He might have no idea what they did.

The helicopters had all shut down by now, and voices were drawing closer.  Everybody scrambled into corners of the walls so as not to be seen.

“The stone's been lifted and then put back!” somebody was saying.

“It's Rogsey,” another voice replied – this one, Natasha was sure, had to be the Red Death's.  “It can be no other!”  Like Sir Stephen, he spoke modern English with a little old-fashioned grammar thrown in for flavour.  He also had a strong German accent, almost to the point of being stagey.  Not a real person, Nat thought.  A figure from legend, who talked the way the average twenty-first century reader of the medieval poems might imagine him talking.

“Rogsey?”  That was Pierce.  “How would he get out here?”

“He might well have swam!” snarled the Red Death.  “I care not!  Find him for me!”

[krispyweiss]

The Sound (Bites) of Live Music - 2017 in Review

It was another fabulous year in live music.

Concerts big and small; acts Sound Bites has seen scads of times and acts that broke his Sound cherry; festivals and “an evening with;” old timers and newcomers. These concerts were the sound of live music in 2017 and Sound Bites has the best of them below.

Shows are ranked in the approximate oder of quality with the number of times seen in parentheses. The concerts took place in Columbus, Ohio, unless otherwise noted and are ranked by grade. Any shows that merited a B+ or lower are excluded.

A+

Rhiannon Giddens/Steep Canyon Rangers (6)/Pokey LaFarge/Cincinnati Pops Orchestra, Music Hall, Cincinnati, Nov. 12: The third of three concerts/recording sessions took place on a Sunday afternoon as Giddens, the Rangers and LaFarge focused on post-World War I American compositions. A sublime mixture of classical music and Americana’s best contemporary artists and the show of the year. It’ll be released sometime in 2018 as the second in an ongoing series.

Punch Brothers (3)/I’m With Her/Julian Lage, Taft Theatre, Cincinnati, Aug. 12 Playing alone, together and in various combinations on the American Acoustic tour, the co-headliners slayed the audience with originals and covers of everyone from Adele to Randy Newman.

Tommy Emmanuel and David Grisman, Speaker Jo Anne Davidson Theater, Nov. 10: Emmanuel played an opening solo-acoustic set before appearing with Grisman for songs from their duet LP, Pickin’, and other selections. Pure, jaw-dropping virtuosity.

Roger Waters (2), Nationwide Arena, July 20: A left-wing, multi-media assault on the senses that found Waters revisiting politically minded tracks spanning from Pink Floyd’s Meddle to his own Is This the Life We Really Want?

Steve Martin (2)/Martin Short/Steep Canyon Rangers (5), PNC Pavilion, Cincinnati, Sept. 16: Mostly a comedy show - and one so hilarious Mr. and Mrs. Sound Bites walked out with sore throats and tummies from laughing so hard - this concert also featured the Rangers playing bluegrass alone and with their patron, Martin. And when Short danced across the stage in drag and with humongous fake boobies during “Pretty Little One,” the two art forms merged in perfection.

A

Willie Nelson (11)/Van Morrison (3)/Avett Brothers, et al. Hersheypark Stadium, Hershey, Pa., Oct. 10: At the Hershey stop of Nelson’s Outlaw Music Festival, Nelson was in top form with an expanded, guest-filled band; Morrison played a spellbinding concert that was the best of the three the Sound Biteses saw this year; and the Avetts proved all the fuss is legit.

Brian Wilson, Palace Theatre, April 21: Backed by an enormous band that included former Beach Boys Al Jardine and Blondie Chapman, Wilson revisited Pet Sounds and surrounded it with big hits (“I Get Around”) and deep cuts (“California Saga”). Sublime doesn’t touch it.

Van Morrison (2), Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater, Fla, Jan. 18: After seeing Morrison for the first time the night before and thinking nothing could be better, the man came back and proved Mr. and Mrs. Sound Bites wrong, playing a different set and wailing away on saxophone, guitar and harp.

Van Morrison, Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater, Fla., Jan 17: The only thing better than seeing Morrison for the first time is seeing him subsequently.

Los Lobos (13), Music Box Supper Club, Cleveland, March 31: The band played Kiko in its entirety and stretched it to two hours, keeping the essence of their high-watermark album while futzing with the arrangements enough to keep things interesting for those of us who have the LP tattooed on our brains from repeated listenings over the past 25 years.

David Crosby & Friends, Kent Stage, Kent, Ohio, Nov. 5: Sound Bites endured a solo, three-plus-hour drive through thunderstorms and a tornado warning and arrived at the Kent Stage stressed out, soaking wet and with just minutes to spare. The bad vibes melted away about 40 seconds after Crosby and his stellar band took the stage with “In My Dreams” and the ride home was just fine after an amazing performance from rock’s premier male singer.

Tedeschi Trucks Band (8)/Wood Brothers (3)/Hot Tuna (7), Rose Music Center, Huber Heights, Ohio, July 22: All three bands were in top form on this stop on the Wheels of Soul tour, even if the Woods and Hot Tuna didn’t get enough stage time. All was forgiven when each band joined in during Tedeschi Trucks’ typically searing headlining set, which featured high-test originals and covers and made Mr. and Mrs. Sound Bites wish they had attended the previous evening in Cincinnati.

Chicago (12), Rose Music Center, Huber Heights, Ohio, May 20: Playing a set short on schlock and long on tracks from the Terry Kath era, Chicago played the best of the dozen concerts Sound Bites has seen of the band since 1982. Chicago was a rock band at first and it is a rock band now.

Robert Cray Band (8), Midland Theatre, Newark, Ohio, Sept. 29: Cray doesn’t mess around - he plays his songs in a workmanlike manner, plays them well and still sounds almost exactly like the guy who first came on to the scene nearly four decades ago. Ageless. And timeless.

Wood Brothers (4) Stuart’s Opera House, Nelsonville, Ohio, Nov. 9: Debuting tracks from their forthcoming album and playing old favorites, the Woods played the best of the four concerts Sound Bites has been lucky enough to see from the band. Though their named after brothers Oliver and Chris, multi-instrumentalist Jano Rix is the trio’s secret weapon.

Martin Barre (2), Natalie’s Coal Fired Pizza, May 3: Playing acoustic and electric sets, Barre and his spectacular, three-piece band nailed Jethro Tull songs from across the band’s catalog, mixing them in with periodic selections from Barre’s solo career.

Rosanne Cash (2), Kuss Auditorium, Springfield, Ohio, Feb. 11: Performing in an acoustic-duo setting with husband John Levanthal, Cash showed herself a better singer live than in studio and Leventhal’s arrangements made her songs sparkle in the sparse, in-concert setting.

Dweezil Zappa (6), Express Live!, Jan. 22: Fomerly known as Zappa Plays Zappa, Dweezil and his crack band somehow managed to pull off Daddy’s songs in a way that was both appropriately reverent and appropriately irreverent. Don’t think of Dweezil and company as a tribute group. Think of them as a rock ‘n’ roll symphony interpreting one of the 20th century’s most-important composers.

Los Lobos (14), Music Box Supper Club, Cleveland, April 1: With Kiko in the rear view, a looser Lobos took the stage the following evening with a retrospective set of originals and covers that found the band members switching instruments, taking requests and inviting up a local ringer on stage to shred with the wolf pack. On any given night, Los Lobos are capable to going places only a few bands can go - this was one of them.

Leo Kottke (4), Thirty One West, Newark, Ohio, Oct. 24: All by his lonesome but sounding like a quartet, Kottke showed once again why, like Tigger, he’s the only one.

Old Crow Medicine Show (2), Express Live!, May 31: Playing Bob Dylan’s Blonde on Blonde from front to back, the Crows put a new twist on an old standby, adding a bunch and taking away nothing. There was a nice tribute to the recently departed Gregg Allman via “Midnight Rider” in the encore, which also featured (natch) the Dylan co-write “Wagon Wheel.”

Bruce Hornsby (10), Midland Theatre, Newark, Ohio, Sept. 22: If there’s anyone more versatile than Hornsby, Sound Bites is yet to meet him. This solo-piano workout took the concept of recital to a whole ‘nother level.

Southern Culture on the Skids (2), Skully’s Music Diner, May 9: “Too Much Pork for Just one Fork.” “House of Bamboo.” The only thing that outshines SCOT’s sense of humor is SCOT’s musicianship. Flying fried chicken and fans dancing onstage only add to the shenanigans when they come to town.

Bob Weir & the Campfire Band, Proctor & Gamble Hall, Cincinnati, Jan. 12: Backed by members of the National in an acoustic-centric set that was heavy on songs from Blue Mountain, Weir put on the best performance Sound Bites has seen out of him in a decade or more and proved he should do more shows that move away from his Grateful Dead legacy. When “Oh Boy” popped out of “Dark Star,” all was right with the universe.

Del McCoury Band (2), Stuart’s Opera House, Nelsonville, Ohio, March 4: There’s bluegrass. And then there’s the Del McCoury Band.

The HillBenders, Fur Peace Ranch, Pomeroy, Ohio, Aug. 5: The Who’s Tommy is even creepier when performed in a bluegrass setting. The HillBenders opened for themselves with a set of originals before diving into the tale of the deaf, dumb and blind kid. If this tour comes to your town, go.

Tedeschi Trucks Band (7), Palace Theatre, Jan. 23: This was the weakest TTB show Sound Bites has ever seen. It was astounding.

Lake Street Dive, Newport Music Hall, Aug. 10: Rachael Price is mesmerizing - impossible to take your eyes and ears off. The rest of the band is just as potent and Lake Street Dive is probably the only band in the world that could make Sound Bites shake his tail feather to George Michael’s “Faith.” Their version of Wings’ “Let Me Roll It” - like the rest of their performance - also did not suck.

A-

Ray Wiley Hubbard (2), Woodlands Tavern, June 23: Hubbard likes to call his music “an acquired taste.” It takes about three seconds to realize this guy should be at the top of everyone’s must-see list.

Elizabeth Cook (2), Rumba Cafe, Oct. 23: At turns funny and heartbreaking, Cook possesses a gorgeous voice and an irresistible, smart-ass stage presence. She’s like Todd Snider in drag and her solo-acoustic show is anything but a drag.

Todd Snider (9), Stuart’s Opera House, Nelsonville, Ohio, Feb. 4: At turns funny and heartbreaking, Snider possesses a laconic voice and an irresistible, smart-ass stage presence. He’s like Elizabeth Cook in jeans and his solo-acoustic show is a terrific mix of music and comedy.

Jerry Douglas Band, Thirty One West, Newark, Ohio, Aug. 15: Eschewing bluegrass for jazz, the Dobro player extraordinaire brought a huge band to Newark and nullified any disappointment by delivering a barnburner of a concert that made you wonder why he didn’t do this sooner.

Los Lobos (15), Stuart’s Opera House, Nelsonville, Ohio, Aug. 20: With bassist Conrad Lazano and guitarist Cesar Rosas MIA, the Wolves nevertheless delivered with a set heavy on rarities and covers. The pit was packed with dancers for most of the second set, proving a short-handed Los Lobos is still among the country’s best live acts.

Yonder Mountain String Band (2), A&R Music Bar, July 6: Adding more heat to an already sweaty and packed bar, YMSB proved there is life after Jeff Austin.

Holly Bowling (2), Woodlands Tavern, Feb. 10: The classical pianist who specializes in Phish and Grateful Dead covers delivered two sets of Phish and Grateful Dead covers arranged for classical piano and knocked off plenty of socks in the process.

Steel Wheels (2), King Center for the Arts, Dec. 9: When a bluegrass band features a drum solo early in the concert, you know you’re in for something different. The Steel Wheels are something different. And they’re something else as well.

12/20/17

[biofunmy]

A power ranking of all 32 ‘Downton Abbey’ movie characters

That’s not to suggest the folks upstairs always wielded more power than their downstairs counterparts. Social propriety only dictates outward behavior, and it often seemed as though the Downton servants were the ones who actually pulled the strings. Such is certainly the case in the “Downton” movie, released Friday, more than three years after the British television series concluded its six-season run.

Set in the late 1920s, the movie consists largely of Downton preparing for a royal visit by King George V and Queen Mary. While the Crawleys — Robert, Cora and their daughters Mary and Edith, along with Robert’s mother Violet — deal with the usual family drama and logistical rubbish, everyone downstairs tries their best to resist a complete takeover from the royal family’s hoity-toity servants. There’s very little plot and very much banter, highlighting power grabs both subtle and fierce.

Here is a definitive power ranking of the “Downton” movie characters, from boring and weakest to magnificent and sneakiest. (Note that the blurbs contain plot spoilers.)

The ‘Downton Abbey’ cast wants to take you back to a more innocent time — 2012

32. Richard “Dickie” Grey, a.k.a. Baron Merton (Douglas Reith)

Who he is: A trusted friend of the Crawley family, Dickie is also Mary’s godfather. In the series, he fought with his spoiled children to marry Isobel Crawley, the mother of Mary’s late husband, Matthew Crawley.

Why he ranks here: Dickie is a perfectly fine person, and it is truly a delight to hear people say his name with an English accent. That said, he is entirely a background character in the movie.

31. Phyllis Baxter, lady’s maid to Cora Crawley (Raquel Cassidy)

Who she is: Not to be visually confused with housekeeper Mrs. Hughes, Miss Baxter is a well-intentioned lady’s maid with a criminal record who, in the series, was briefly blackmailed by Thomas Barrow.

Why she ranks here: Like poor Dickie, Miss Baxter is barely a part of the movie. She finally seems to express her romantic interest in Mr. Molesley toward the end, though, so three cheers for that.

30. Captain Chetwode (Stephen Campbell Moore)

Who he is: Captain Chetwode approaches Tom Branson, a Crawley son-in-law, in public with a devious look in his eyes. The captain looks like all the other random men who pass through Downton, making it difficult for Tom to determine who he is or what his true motivations are.

Why he ranks here: Well, he tries to assassinate the king. While Tom, an Irishman, has his own issues with the English monarchy, he foils the captain’s violent plan as soon as he figures it out.

27, 28 & 29. All of the Crawley great-grandchildren: Sybil “Sybbie” Branson (Fifi Hart); George Matthew Crawley (Oliver and Zac Barker); Marigold Crawley (Eva and Karina Samms)

Who they are: Sybbie is Tom’s child with his late wife, Sybil Crawley. George is Mary’s child with her late husband, Matthew. Marigold was born to Edith and Michael Gregson, Edith’s magazine editor boss who mysteriously disappeared in Germany. Such drama!

Why they rank here: The Crawley great-grandchildren are still very young and therefore inconsequential. But they’ll inherit Downton and the Crawley wealth one day, which means they are somewhat powerful.

26. Joseph Molesley, schoolteacher and occasional footman (Kevin Doyle)

Who he is: Mr. Molesley worked as Matthew’s valet until the latter’s death and later returned to Downton as a footman. He discovered his passion for teaching while helping assistant cook Daisy Mason with her studies and eventually left the house altogether to become a schoolteacher.

Why he ranks here: I only want the best for Mr. Molesley, but by golly if this man isn’t one of the most pitiful characters to ever pass through Downton. He practically faints upon seeing the king and queen.

25. The Royal Chef (Philippe Spall)

Who he is: The better question would be, who does he think he is? Sure, he cooks for the king and queen of England, but he is unnecessarily rude to Downton’s Mrs. Patmore from the moment he walks in.

Why he ranks here: Rudeness is only productive if you’re an established part of Downton.

24. The Royal Butler . . . or the King’s Page of the Back Stairs (David Haig)

Who he is: This guy is the Charles Carson of Kensington Palace, in that he’s been loyal to the royal family for a long time and will do anything to appease them. He clarifies to the Downton folk that he is “not a butler” but, in fact, a king’s page of the back stairs. They don’t give that title much thought.

Why he ranks here: He is the absolute worst, but Mr. Haig is quite convincing in the role.

23. Robert Crawley, Earl of Grantham (Hugh Bonneville)

Who he is: Robert is the Crawley family patriarch and owns Downton with his eldest daughter, Mary.

Why he ranks here: I honestly could not tell you a single significant thing Robert accomplishes in this movie aside from continuing to co-own Downton, therefore giving the royals a reason to visit and the movie a reason to exist. But hey, that’s pretty important, right?

22. Herbert “Bertie” Pelham, Marquess of Hexham (Harry Hadden-Paton)

Who he is: Edith married Bertie at the very end of the series and, after enduring six seasons of relentless misery, said she was finally “completely happy.” Bertie became Marigold’s stepfather.

Why he ranks here: Bertie is involved in a B-plot that gets quite a bit of screen time, as the king asks Bertie to embark on a project that would keep him away from his family for three months. Even after Edith informs her husband that she is pregnant and that the assignment would require him to miss the first few months of his child’s life, he hesitates to ask the king to find someone else for the job — understandable, but not the ideal course of action.

21. Andrew “Andy” Parker, footman (Michael C. Fox)

Who he is: Andy is a recently hired footman engaged to Daisy.

Why he ranks here: Andy somewhat annoyingly plays a jealous boyfriend for much of the movie, sparked by a flirty plumber arriving to fix Downton’s boiler. While Andy breaks the boiler in a fit of jealousy, it’s pretty cool that he loves Daisy and disregards the monarchy enough to risk sabotaging the royal visit.

20. Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham (Elizabeth McGovern)

Who she is: Cora is an American heiress married to Robert, with whom she had Mary, Edith and Sybil. She has a fun muddled accent and enjoys providing commentary on strange English customs from an American perspective, which makes her a valuable asset for stateside viewers.

Why she ranks here: Cora senses that Edith is upset and, after learning of the conundrum, takes it upon herself to instead appeal to the queen on Edith and Bertie’s behalf. It works. Hurrah for involved mothers!

18 & 19. King George V (Simon Jones) and Queen Mary (Geraldine James)

Who they are: King George V was the grandfather of the current queen, Elizabeth II. He married Mary of Teck, and together they had six kids — five boys and one girl, Princess Mary, who appears in the movie.

Why they rank here: They’re very powerful in life but don’t do much for the plot, other than show up at Downton and later allow Bertie to stay home with Edith, so they land in the middle(ish) of the ranking.

17. Richard Ellis, perhaps a valet? (Max Brown)

Who he is: Richard works for the royal family and, just like Barrow, seems to get the short end of the stick from time to time.

Why he ranks here: Richard appears to be sweet on Barrow, which is proven true after he bails Barrow out of jail and later kisses him. Though this is admirably bold for the era in which “Downton” is set, Barrow was only jailed in the first place because he went to a gay club with another man after Richard was extremely late to a date he had planned with Barrow.

16. John Bates, valet (Brendan Coyle)

Who he is: Bates is Robert’s soft-spoken valet, and Anna Bates’s husband. He was hired at Downton after having saved Robert’s life while they both served in the second Boer War.

Why he ranks here: Though Bates usually tries to avoid stirring up trouble, he and Anna mastermind a plan to (rightfully) regain control of Downton from the royal family’s servants.

15. Lucy Smith, lady’s maid-turned-companion of Maud Bagshaw (Tuppence Middleton)

Who she is: Lucy, said to be a lady’s maid, accompanies the Crawleys’ relative Maud Bagshaw to Downton for the royal visit, during which Violet tries as best as she can to figure out why the childless Maud hasn’t listed Robert as a beneficiary in her will. Maud prefers to call Lucy her companion, and it is later revealed that they are actually mother and daughter.

Why she ranks here: Though uncomfortable with the tiff between her mother and Violet, Lucy stands her ground when it comes to her inheritance — commendable, given how frightening Violet can be.

14. Princess Mary (Kate Phillips)

Who she is: Princess Mary is the king and queen’s only daughter. She prioritizes her duty to her country over her own happiness and therefore remains in a loveless marriage to a dull, controlling man.

Why she ranks here: Princess Mary struggles with what to do about her marriage, given that a divorce would toss the royal family into scandal. After Tom spots her crying about it outside Downton — as an Irishman, he has no idea who she is — the two of them chat vaguely about obligations to their respective families. Princess Mary is inspired to stand up to her husband, telling him that they have no choice but to change for both of their sakes.

13. Henry Talbot, co-owner of Talbot and Branson Motors (Matthew Goode)

Who he is: Henry and Mary got married at the end of the series, and they have a daughter together. Though he lives at Downton, Henry often travels to different car shows for work (and fun).

Why he ranks here: Henry spends most of the movie away at a Detroit car show because the actor who plays him wasn’t able to fit a full “Downton” shoot into his schedule. He nevertheless receives an entrance scene so dramatic that it rivals the king and queen’s. (Author’s note: I will forever think of Matthew Goode as the guy from 2004′s “Chasing Liberty.” If you’ve seen that, you know how much he puts up with in it, and you’ll agree that Mr. Goode deserves this dramatic scene as restitution.)

12. Charles Carson, retired butler (Jim Carter)

Who he is: The curmudgeonly Mr. Carson rose through the ranks at Downton and eventually became the butler. Though he retired because of health issues, he worked for the Crawleys for so long that the family members, especially Mary, treat him as one of their own. He is married to Mrs. Hughes, the housekeeper.

Why he ranks here: Mary asks Mr. Carson to replace Barrow as butler for the duration of the royal visit, and he agrees. This is rather mean to Barrow on both of their parts — he’s trying his best! — but it’s hard not to notice the respect with which the Downton staff treats Mr. Carson.

11. Isobel Grey, née Crawley, Baroness Merton (Penelope Wilton)

Who she is: Isobel, a former nurse, moved to Downton at the start of the series with her son, Matthew. She remained close to the Crawleys even after Matthew’s death — becoming close frenemies with Violet while co-chairing the hospital — and later married Lord Merton.

Why she ranks here: Isobel tries to act as a mediator in the conflict over who will inherit Maud’s wealth. Unlike Violet, she is able to sense that there is more to Maud’s relationship with Lucy, and encourages Maud to tell Violet the truth in order to put the argument to rest once and for all.

10. Beryl Patmore, cook (Lesley Nicol)

Who she is: Mrs. Patmore is the witty cook who runs Downton’s kitchen. She is exceedingly strict but cares deeply for those she knows well, stepping in as a mother figure to her assistant, Daisy.

Why she ranks here: Along with Daisy, Mrs. Patmore is never afraid to speak her mind — especially when it comes to the royal staff invading her kitchen.

9. Elsie Carson, née Hughes, head housekeeper (Phyllis Logan)

Who she is: Mrs. Hughes is the head housekeeper. She is married to Mr. Carson.

Why she ranks here: With Mr. Carson technically out of Downton, Mrs. Hughes is the most powerful person downstairs. She is the no-nonsense type, and will always look out for her people.

8. Thomas “Tom” Branson, co-owner of Talbot and Branson Motors (Allen Leech)

Who he is: Tom came to Downton as a chauffeur but became a member of the family after marrying Sybil Crawley, against her family’s wishes. They eventually warmed up to him and, following Sybil’s death, he continued to help manage and live at Downton for his daughter’s sake.

Why he ranks here: Tom doesn’t consider himself to be a member of the aristocracy given his humble roots and, as such, is likely the most level-headed character upstairs. Not only does he provide emotional support to Princess Mary and Lucy, two strangers, but he also saves the king’s life.

7. Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham (Maggie Smith)

Who she is: As Robert’s mother, Violet is the senior member of the Crawley family. She reveals to her granddaughter Mary that her health is failing, and as such, aims to tie up all her loose ends.

Why she ranks here: Yes, Violet’s quarrel with Maud is a bit much, but it is comforting to see that she has remained her witty, combative self. After someone accuses her of being Machiavellian, for example, she responds, “Machiavelli is frequently underrated. He had many qualities.”

6. Mary Talbot, née Crawley, heir to Downton (Michelle Dockery)

Who she is: Mary is the eldest Crawley daughter and co-owns Downton with her father.

Why she ranks here: Though Mary can be quite prissy at times, it’s notable that Violet points to her, and not Robert, as the future of Downton. As might be uttered in HBO’s “Succession,” Mary is the No. 1 Boy.

5. Thomas Barrow, butler (Rob James-Collier)

Who he is: Barrow, a former footman, stepped in as butler at Downton after Mr. Carson retired.

Why he ranks here: Barrow was an irritating backstabber for much of the series, but we eventually got to know and appreciate him. When Robert and Mary inform him that Mr. Carson will be taking over for the duration of the royal visit, Barrow is appropriately snippy and storms off. The act of insubordination takes Robert by surprise and, instead of firing Barrow, he admires him.

4. Daisy Mason, assistant cook (Sophie McShera)

Who she is: Once a kitchen maid, Daisy worked her way up to being Mrs. Patmore’s assistant.

Why she ranks here: Daisy’s rebellious streak is more evident than ever before when the royal servants arrive. She has fully come out of her shell and amusingly defends Downton at one point by saying, “We’re not footballs, Mr. Bates, we don’t deserve a kicking!” They most certainly do not.

3. Edith Pelham, née Crawley, Marchioness of Hexham (Laura Carmichael)

Who she is: Edith is the second Crawley daughter, and Marigold’s mother. She is married to Bertie.

Why she ranks here: Though she was for a long time the self-pitying Crawley sister, Edith has finally learned to take a stand when called for. She is very direct with Bertie about his needing to turn down the king’s assignment and, after Bertie says that she should have told him earlier that she was pregnant, she informs him that he will not be making any of this her fault. Growth! We love to see it.

2. Anna Bates, née Smith, lady’s maid to Mary Talbot (Joanne Froggatt)

Who she is: Anna is Mary’s lady’s maid but has become more of a friend over time. (Remember, she helped deal with the whole Pamuk-dying-in-Mary’s-bed situation back in the first season.)

Why she ranks here: Anna spearheads the downstairs rebellion and also blackmails the royal seamstress, who has been stealing from Downton throughout the visit. How far our meek Anna has come.

1. Maud Bagshaw, Crawley relative and lady-in-waiting to Queen Mary (Imelda Staunton)

Who she is: Maud is a baronness who serves the queen. She is a cousin of Violet’s late husband and somehow inherited an estate from him. She and Violet aren’t the best of friends.

Why she ranks here: American viewers might recognize Imelda Staunton as Dolores Umbridge from the “Harry Potter” films and, while Maud isn’t at all evil, she is just as stubborn. It’s difficult to win a fight against Violet — she’s the Dowager Countess, for heaven’s sake! — but Maud has what it takes, and seems to care endlessly for her daughter, Lucy. If they ever do make a movie sequel, we hope Maud makes a special appearance.

Sahred From Source link Entertainment

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[thewalkingdetective]

Ranking The Songs On Taylor Swift’s Lover

1. Cruel Summer – Top dog because it’s the song that’s stayed in my head and that I’ve wanted to listen to over and over the most. Some concrete reasons: the highest concentration of amazing lyrics on the album are here (“Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes”, “It’s cool, that’s what I tell him, no rules, in breakable heaven,” “He looks up grinning like a devil”, “I cried like a baby coming home from the bar”, “I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you,” “I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”, “Summer’s a knife – I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone”….okay basically the whole damn song). Match that with the infectious beat, catchy melody, and unexpected production choices (like the shouty bits), and it’s just an amazing, amazing song.

2. The Man – If you said that I have this song overrated, I wouldn’t argue the point. It resonates deeply with me and my life experiences and I could see how it might rank lower for people who don’t connect with it so well. However, if you want to put it lower than 5, I might have to fight you. My favorite part is the bridge, possibly one of my favorite T. Swift bridges ever, which I love so much I must quote here: “What’s it like to brag about raking in dollars and getting bitches and models, and it’s all good if you’re bad, and it’s okay if you’re mad. If I was out flashing my dollars, I’d be a bitch not a baller, they’d paint me out to be bad, so it’s okay that I’m mad.” She went there, 100%, nothing held back out of fear of offending people.

3. Lover – Taylor finally has her song which will take a place in the Love Song Hall of Fame, her romantic magnum opus. The bridge, which I know was an instant favorite for many, actually took a few listens to grow on me, but now I am 100% on board.

4. The Archer – I’m not sure which is more powerful here – the ambient perfection of the production or the exquisitely, simply, poignant lyrics. The production creates an ambience in a way no song ever has for me…somehow it is the smoke rising slowly off a battlefield after the fight is over. The lyrics are so relatable, so universal, without being generic. Taylor tends toward very specific, personal lyrics, which is excellent, but it makes me all the more impressed by this song since it’s not her default. It’s poetic.

5. You Need To Calm Down – It’s a bop, it’s a jam, and it is filled with stone-cold, downright zingers and useful life lessons. What more could we ask for?

6. I Forgot That You Existed – I know, I know, it’s simple. But that’s the brilliance of it. Don’t you see? Snap. Snap. Snap. The piano audio memo made me like it even more and I desperately want a piano version of it now (Please, Taylor!). And come on “in my feelings more than drake, so yah”.

7. I Think He Knows – More snappity snaps. But seriously, listen to this song and tell me that when she sings “he got my heartbeat, skipping down sixteenth avenue” you don’t feel like you are actually skipping. The falsetto is a new sound for her and it works well.

8. Cornelia Street – I don’t know what to say about this song. It’s very classic Taylor, and I’m happy about that. This is her sound, her style, and I think it’s good to have some anchor songs which pull the experimental, newer sounding songs together and remind you that this is a Taylor Swift album. Of course the lyrics are lovely and hit you in the feels and it’s a lovely little song.  

9. Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince – This song sounds like it could have been on reputation, but somehow it doesn’t feel out of place on Lover. I think it might be the shouts that pull it together, as that’s a production technique which is used frequently and brilliantly on Lover. The most impressive thing about this song for me is how she manages to address so many things at once (her relationship with Joe, politics in America, the death of her reputation), but it doesn’t feel scattered. It paints a complete picture of her life at a certain time.

10. Death By a Thousand Cuts – What I love about this song is that it sounds like a bunch of little cuts falling on you and that’s just fucking brilliant.

11. False God – Sex. Angry Sex. I’m here for it. She tries something new with the sax and I’m here for that too. Nothing else to say.

12. Soon You’ll Get Better (Feat. The Dixie Chicks) – Classic Taylor; the lyrics paint a picture so vivid, you see every line as if it were a movie in your mind and since this movie’s a really sad one, you bawl like a baby. You’re putty in the hands of a lyrical master. I do wish that the Dixie Chicks had a bit more to do, unfortunately they’re basically just generic backup singers.

13. Paper Rings – This song is saved by the pre-chorus (“Kiss me once cus…one, two, three four!”) from being just a generic bubblegum bop. You think you’ve got it pegged and then the pre-chorus comes in like a teenager shouting “YOU DON’T KNOW ME!” and you’re like “damn, alright.” Then the bridge hits you like a one-two punch and you happily admit defeat – the song has won you over in spite of yourself.

14. Daylight – This song feels like just what the doctor ordered as an album closer. But somehow its quality is elevated by its position on the record, and I don’t think it’s as strong when looked at as a standalone track. An exceptional finale, if not necessarily an exceptional song.

15. Afterglow – My only beef with this song is that it’s sonically too similar to The Archer and Daylight, and I feel that those songs could overshadow it for the casual listener. But that’s not much of a beef; it’s a solid song and on somebody else’s album might have been a standout track.

16. London Boy – Not a bad song, just outpaced by all the songs ranked above it. I do wish she would have left off the weird Idris Elba talking at the beginning. In my opinion it just confuses the listener and distracts them from the song for a few beats as they try to decipher it. It’s obviously an inside joke for her and Joe, but it adds nothing for the rest of us.

17. Me! (Feat. Brendon Urie) – The real problem with this song is the lyrics, which were aimed at uplifting and inspirational, but instead flew right past those stops and ended up in the land of sickeningly sweet. There’s nothing exceptional about the melody here, but it could have formed the basis for a good song if better lyrics were built on top of it. It’s incredibly unusual for Taylor to write weak lyrics, but it’s sadly not so unusual for her to release one of the weaker songs on an album as the lead single. As for Brendon Urie…he’s fine I guess. Doesn’t contribute much of anything apart from being a male voice, but also doesn’t take away anything.

18. It’s Nice To Have a Friend – Unquestionably the weakest song on the album. For me personally, it’s the weakest song in her catalogue and one I’ll never listen to again – I just can’t stand the screeching children’s choir, but not everyone has had such a visceral reaction, and I acknowledge that some of this is personal preference. This song screams of Jack Antonoff’s influence – he loves to experiment with sounds. And when it works, boy does it work. But when it doesn’t, it REALLY doesn’t. I do appreciate and respect her wanting to experiment, but there also comes a point where you have to say “hey, that was fun, but it’s not a great song.” Especially when you’ve already got more than enough great songs to make an album.  

[mystlnewsonline]

New Post has been published on https://www.stl.news/merkel-still-in-charge-of-her-future-amid-impasse-in-germany/69428/

Merkel still in charge of her future amid impasse in Germany

BERLIN/January 17, 2018 (AP)(STL.News) —Angela Merkel has defied many forecasts of her looming political demise in 12 years as German chancellor. And nearly four months into post-war Germany’s longest political impasse, she’s likely to emerge on top again for the time being — whatever happens.

Opponents have argued that Merkel’s time is nearing its end as they chew over her efforts to create a new government following September’s election, in which support for her conservatives and their center-left coalition partners dropped.

Those partners, the Social Democrats, are agonizing about a decision Sunday on whether to negotiate another government with the former scientist.

“The end of Angela Merkel’s time in office has begun,” Kevin Kuehnert, the head of the Social Democrats’ youth wing and a prominent opponent of a coalition, said recently. “The Social Democrats would do well not to extend this time in office.”

The pro-business Free Democrats, who pulled the plug on Merkel’s first coalition-building attempt with them and another smaller party in November, have since sought to pin much of the blame on the chancellor.

“Germany won’t be able to thrive in the future with Angela Merkel’s recipes of the past 12 years,” deputy leader Wolfgang Kubicki said.

But opponents failed for years to find a way past Merkel and don’t look close to doing so now, even if the 63-year-old is past her political peak. And there’s no single obvious successor in her own party — potential rivals don’t have the strength or, for now, the desire to mount an open challenge.

Merkel’s popularity among voters and supporters of her own Christian Democratic Union remains remarkably solid for a leader in power so long. She built up that popularity in her early years as chancellor, sealing it with a calm response to the 2008 financial crisis and building on it by convincing many Germans that she was shielding them from the effects of the subsequent eurozone debt crisis.

“This feeling of security that she gave people is still there, in large part,” said Manfred Guellner, the head of the Forsa polling agency. “That remains her strength, and is what many want in an uncertain global situation.”

She still has popularity ratings that one-time mentor Helmut Kohl “could only dream of for 16 years” as chancellor, he added.

Merkel has pulled her party to the center, helping squeeze support for the Social Democrats and others. She has developed a light-touch style of leadership that often allows her to appear above everyday politics, letting others argue over contentious issues before committing to a solution.

Critics have charged that she shows too little leadership. Her second-term government, a center-right coalition with the Free Democrats, was notorious for infighting that fueled periodic speculation it would collapse.

Guellner notes that German media speculation of an imminent end to Merkel’s chancellorship dates as far back as 2010. Merkel emerged from that second-term government at the 2013 election with her party’s best result in more than 20 years, while her coalition partners were punished.

Merkel’s decision in 2015 to allow in large numbers of asylum-seekers caused major political friction and boosted the nationalist Alternative for Germany party, which last year became the third-largest in parliament after campaigning on a shrill anti-migration and anti-Merkel message.

But while a section of the electorate is now vehemently anti-Merkel, her Union bloc was still easily the biggest party in September’s election, albeit with its weakest result in decades.

That means that, whether or not the Social Democrats choose to continue the “grand coalition” of Germany’s biggest parties that has governed since 2013, there still appears to be no way past Merkel for the foreseeable future. If there’s no coalition, the options would be an unprecedented conservative minority government or a new election.

Merkel has made clear that she doesn’t want a minority government — an arrangement that would require her to break with her consensual style and cobble together majorities on a case-by-case basis. Anti-coalition Social Democrats argue that it would be better for German politics if Merkel has to do so, and point to her past ideological flexibility.

“Mrs. Merkel has rejected all kinds of things, so I think this position could change under heavy pressure,” left-wing lawmaker Hilde Mattheis said this week.

If a minority government isn’t installed, a decision that would be made by Germany’s president, Merkel has indicated that she would run again in a new election. So far, polls suggest that there’s been little change since September, and that her bloc would again emerge on top by a distance.

The conservative-leaning Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung questioned this week how long “the very German wish for stability, calm and reliability that brought Merkel high popularity ratings for 12 years” will hold at bay people’s desire for new faces.

“When Merkel calls it quits, a new game will begin,” it said in an editorial.

It remains to be seen when that will be.

“I don’t think she will get into difficulty because there is no uprising in the Union,” said Guellner, the pollster. “The only thing would be if she says, ‘I’ve had enough and I’m packing up,’ but there is no sign of that.”

By Associated Press, published on STL.NEWS by St. Louis Media, LLC (J.S)