#15? idk but im stuck here now

[popcornsupernova]

You ever stumble into a fandom that’s being held up by like 3 people and some sticks

[lightbulb-warning]

so has anyone figured out WHY there is the Need To Share our Artworks™ or is it just the vibes and our Soul apparently

[bibleofficial]

i love having hong kongers & mainlanders in close contact like literally i’ve these 2 hongkongers in my group project for a class & then i live w 2 mainlanders so ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i’m learning so much

[mrfoox]

except that im mentally dead, i’m good

[lesbianralzarek]

idk what discourse dimension some of you "fandom elders" are stuck in, but in my ~15 years in online (and sometimes irl) fandom spaces, this is the golden age for me

shipping wars have literally always existed and acting like we all used to hold hands and sing kumbaya is insane. "well, there wasnt this moral component thats soooo annoying these days" okay but thats worse. you do see how thats worse, right? people used to tell each other to kill themselves over zutara vs kataang and then not even care when people were racist. twice as mad for reasons half as reasonable. also, where were you all in 2015-2019? that was the era of "steven universe is fascism apologism" and "i headcanon these characters as found family, so its incest to ship them". now shipping "drama" is like "oh i broke mutuals with them after they wrote smut of this child character being assaulted by their parent", which is actually just a normal response

wondering what torment nexus some of you are trapped in where fandom has gotten more toxic? hope you can escape soon, because im having a ball out here in a world where biphobia is seen as a bigger problem than a ship being dumb

[novaazurite]

Making my grand return after 3 weeks of inactivity! (Though I may not be active all the time) Lets talk about TPOT 14!

While I did enjoy this episode a lot, the only downside I have with it is how it was a little too fast paced, I can handle that for BFDIA, but I think knowing how TPOT usually is maybe it was a little offputting, I might need to do a rewatch, but I remember a lot from the episode so im still goin with this post.

So with that said...lets start the ramble session!

So I just want to point out how Pencil is clearly living in the past on how obsessed she is to desprately reform FreeSmart by getting Book and Ice Cube, idk why it just feels funny and weird, you can clearly tell how uncomfortable they were in this and last episode that they want nothing to do with her, whatever the hell she did to them in IDFB (im still having thoughts the 'FreeSmart downfall' is gonna hppen in IDFB with Match being the first to leave the LOL.)

Ill admit the shot of the new TCOA was pretty cool, I like it when they implement 3d things into BFDI

Now... onto the CAS. I freaked out so bad in vc when I saw Pin and Ice Cube safe, ik Taggy and Book was gonna be safe so i didnt worry, but felt like Pin was in danger because she couldnt do much being stuck to Gaty, I thought Icy was gonna be out because she was used just to try and kill the fish monster, she couldnt really do much. But OH MY GOD.

I FUCKING GOT IT RIGHT. FOR A WHILE I HAD A FEELING ERASER AND GATY WAS GONNA BE OUT. Ill be honest Eraser didnt have much going on anymore because of Teardrop being eliminated in TPOT 9, so what else did he have left? I dont know exactly, I really had expected him getting out. Now TREE? I didnt expect him to be in the bottom 2, I thought he would be third to last safe, Pin and Gaty being bottom two because both of them didnt do much but be stabbed and used as a weapon by Robot Flower. As much as I love Gaty, I had a feeling she was gonna be out, and finding out I was right about her and Eraser being out made me insanely shocked. The first time I ever got a TPOT prediction right, though I thought One was gonna immediately snatch them up soon after, but good thing Book took notice of it and try to have and her, alongside Pin try to keep Gaty safe. While the others threw Eraser around basically.

Now im glad we got to see the elimination space again, and seeing the others are trying to escape, Fries and Puffball trying to break what seems to be a barrier? Also I noticed Saw, Nickel and Coiny are not there, ik they arent snatched by One but maybe theyre somewhere?

This genuinely made me sad, I had a really good feeling Two was gonna be upset about Gaty being out, I was definetly aware they couldnt bring themself to send her to the elimination space knowing how close she is to them, I didnt expect them to send her to kitchen, however, seeing the scene of One staring at her makes me feel like Two should had sent her there, Gaty is at risk of being snatched, which is gonna upset them even more or hell, send them into a panic, from what ive seen, they seem to brush off the fact Bell/Bomby/Barf Bag/Needle are missing, but what happens if Gaty disappears? Will they try to keep running the show? Theres a lot of predictions you can go off from.

I just wanna show this screenshot its so funny that Taggy is just staring at Book like this 😭😭😭

Glad to see Firey Jr again!

Its funny how DPYA tried to do the same thing from last episode trying to defeat that venus flytrap(?), like sure that would totally work again.

Kind of like how Pin thought doing this again was gonna work in BFDIA 15, LOL.

Closing out my post on the post credits scene, I kind of wonder where the other exitors went. I completely freaked out seeing Match end up in the Pillary Ruins, and this shot here is so cool like.... Knowing last episode we saw Firey and Leafy, are we gonna see more of the BFB contestants again? I wonder what they will have for the plot in future episodes...

And something tells me FreeSmart may reform again, knowing Match is with Ruby and Bubble, and apparently Pencil trying to get Ice Cube and Book back, though its not gonna happen.

[noxiatoxia]

Can you give komahina (toxic yaoi?) headcanons

lemme see here. this is hard bc i dont necessairly have ~komahina~ headcanons i just have headcanons for komaeda and hajime it really has nothing to do with them as a ship;. but uh

ok so here's one. long winded. but i think from what we can gather about hajime he was a bit of a loner child. his parents didnt seem to gaf abt him. so i think he does get attached to people easy. tbh sdr2 was like a miracle scenario in some ways bc there's this guy who has little to no friends (be he never goes out of his way to make them) and then hes stuck with 15 other people his age and he's like i guess i'll talk to them what else can i do....and turns out everyone desires him carnally. tbf he's able to match ppl's freak and he's just good at listening (or pretending to listen) so this makes him popular. so its like ohhh ok we're friends now. hajime is that kind of guy who if he talks to someone once he calls them his friend. but like everyone IS actually his friend. anyways i think if hajime goes a long time without talking to someone he knows he starts to get a little nervous like if its been 1 whole week and he has not even exchanged small talk with like idk mahiru he's like "something is Critically Wrong" so then he'll go find her and be like "hi hows it going". its like disrupting his routine or whatever. i think the time periods for "how long hajime can go without talking to this person" varies depending on the person obviously. like with hiyoko it's like. they don't interact much so if it's been a week and a half he'll be like ohhh ok...maybe i should say something to her....but someone like kazuichi it's like. 3 days hasn't spoken to him once he's like Where Is That Mother Fucker.

this is all to say when it comes to komaeda in a komahina scenario it's devastating bc if he does not see komaeda in a while he gets fucked up abt it in like his anxiety/ptsd spiral his first thought it KOMAEDA IS DEAD. HIS LUCK GOT HIM KILLED. HE KILLED HIMSELF. and then hes like banging on komaeda's cabin door and shit like KOMAEDA. PLEASE.PLEASE. and komaeda is like um hi. flip side: komaeda is also very much like this but with people he's close-close with bc if he does not see hajime in like three days he's like HAJIME IS DEAD. MY LUCK GOT HIM KILLED. HE KILLED HIMSELF. and then he also goes crazy so they have to at least be makin small talk every day to ward off the demons....

as for like. TOXIC YAOI headcanons idk........anything in the chapter 4 area would be bad. i think. i have read so many hate fucking doujins in the chapter 4 time period. while dat all doesnt seem very canon to me (i just dont think hajime be doin all that. nor komaeda really) i see the vision. kamukoma was probably unhealthy on both sides if we want to go there. but like komahina. idk . 1) my brain is fogged up rn so it's hard to think you can ask again later if you desire but 2) really they aren't all that toxic like outside of a killing game environment. komaeda tends to keep to himself and hajime tries to understand people. so like. hajime is very much a "if it sucks hit da bricks" kind of philosopher so if komaeda was being a detriment to his health and he DID have a way out then it's not like he'd stay. hajime does put his foot down when things get too much. (if komaeda was a woman tho she could abuse hajime and he wouldnt gaf #mikanislandmodeending #hiyokoislandmodeending ) but see again komaeda wouldnt be doin all that. i cant see him intentionally hurt hajime post sdr2 canon, at most unintentionally toxic/unhealthy but again i thinnk hajime would in that case try to help him out like couples therapy style or something. WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS. im bad with headcanons it seems.

[zebulontheplanet]

Hello

I am so sorry if this not good to ask/ the right place to ask (idk how tumblr works yet). Please lmk if so and i will not do it again /gen.

I am concerned I may be exhibiting signs of catatonia. I know it is not smth to be self dxd and is very serious but I can't find a huge amount of useful things online and idk what to do so i thought id ask you so i can get a better idea of whether to seek professional help seeing as you have lived experience with it. I hope that's okay

I have slowly been losing skills over the past year (not in burnout). Ive lost a lot of maskjng ability, I find speaking harder and often talk like a younger child despite my advanced vocabulary as a result, I get stuck on tasks and now need physical or verbal prompting to do a lot of tasks like bADLs i didnt need this for before (not counting iADLs bc i dont need to do those because im 15, nearly 16, altho i doubt they would be better). My sensory issues have worsened and so have my meltdowns and shutdowns (which were already not great). I have episodes where I feel like I literally cannot move and my body won't move or will only move very slowly or jerkily. It is like it won't process what my brain is telling it to do. I also stim more often and far more noticeably. Idk who to go to. :(

What other overall areas does catatonia cause decline in - for example does it cause social skills to decline, etc? I've noticed my social skills worsening quite a lot too which is why i ask.. the stuff ive found online can be a bit vague/ confusing or not what i want to know.

I'm scared because idk what is happening and it's really confusing. You don't have to respond to this and I'm sorry for rambling.. is it worth going to a professional? Can this kind of thing be caused by other stuff? If I were to go to a professional it would probably take ages because the waitlists are so long here. I'm just really confused and kinda scared and I dont want to lose more skills :(

Hello, so regular catatonia is different from autism catatonia with regression. Catatonia is very serious, and if you believe you are having it then PLEASE seek out medical attention. Autism Catatonia is usually regressive, and gets worse with time without treatment. Which, I am personally experiencing and it’s the reason I’m on medication for it.

Catatonia is a very serious condition, and can be life threatening in some. So it’s important to know the warning signs and contact a professional. Do NOT wait and contact someone as soon as possible.

Regression is hard, but regression doesn’t mean catatonia. So if you think you’re experiencing regression then that doesn’t automatically mean you have catatonia, if that makes sense. Catatonia for me is episodes of complete freezing, and episodes of slowness. Even outside of tasks I have catatonia. Although tasks are a huge trigger for my catatonia.

Please don’t try and self diagnose it and seek out medical help. I hope you have a lovely day and get the help you need. ❤️

[phoenixdaneko]

The brainrot won.

Anyway uh im- yeah. Here's something for the time loop au by @pillowspace (idk it's not much but brainrot man-) (hope you like it?)

You don't know when or why it started. You don't know how either.

But it happened, and you're stuck. Stuck in an infinite loop with seemingly no way out.

Of course, you were being pessimistic. This was only the fifth loop. You figured you had a right to be pessimistic though, being cursed with this groundhog day bullshit, and given no clues on how to break the loop. You let out a sigh, pressing your palms into your eyes before sitting up in bed from where you'd been staring at the ceiling for the past 15 minutes.

You begrudgingly got up, glancing at your ever broken watch. Ever since this time loop nonsense began, it'd stopped working, stuck at midnight on the day that the loop restarted. A constant reminder. An unwavering countdown to when the loop would begin again. You felt like it was mocking you.

You threw on your uniform, making your way out of your apartment and to your car, slumping into the driver's seat. It was difficult to judge how this loop would go. Sure, everything started out the same, but things changed quickly based on your actions. Almost like a game. Hah. To think, your life was like a video game now.

...maybe you were freaking out a little. You grumbled, starting up your car and driving off to "Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizzaplex". Let's see how this loop goes.

[beemers-hell]

how'd you come up with eb's cutest killer tattoo? it's so damn cool and I would love to know the thought process behind it! + other characters you have tattoos for!!!!

ok so forgive me i was originally gonna draw a big diagram for this but i just dont have the energy for that so I'm resorting to using a mix of recent doodles and old, and i mean like OLD ASS art, to show off the designs lmao. ANYWAY

Regarding Ebs tat: idk tbh! i just kinda came up with it on the spot when I made her madness au version, and then eventually I was like "actually thats such a good design her normal version has it too now lol" and now here we are lmao

regarding my other ocs who have tats: lets start off with this old doodle page I made when i was 15/16(?) where you can see that tat ideas for Neco, Hoana, Raina, Kind Boy, Yume, and the Mob Poly

Lets start with the mob poly! They've all always had the tattoos they have currently, I designed them initially when I was like 13 (which is when I drew the first image of Fumei im inserting next) and the tattoos have stuck since. Here's some examples! I dont have much to show off Fumei's bc i dont draw his bare back very often lol, but at least there's a couple more examples of Ikute and Shinda's tats!

You can also see in that first image that Kind Boy had a Princess Mononoke tat when he was alive, which you can see better in this old piece I did when I was 14(?)

Now for characters that arent shown in that image: Ben! He has two tattoos! The first and biggest one is one he's had for a while, which is the words "Que Dios Descanse Tu Alma" written on his back, which is also engraved in his main weapon!

secondly, and this is a more recent thing, I decided that this stamp design I drew him with one time is actually a canon tattoo that he has lmao

anyone else? Bank! I think if you look at most artwork of her that shows her hands then you'll be able to see it, but as her reference sheet states:

hopefully I'll feel energized enough someday soon to actually draw out all of these tattoos with updated designs and even design more for more of the goons!

[timetravell]

Twas the first day of school, here is a little recap:

We mainly went over all the new procedures. Theres one about phones and if they have to take it up 4 times in a row you have to pay a fine of 15 dollars. And the dress code regressed?? No teacher is enforcing it though. We still have the same tardy policy (10 tardies = ISS).

If this phone policy doesn't 'work' then we just- wont be allowed to bring our phones at all Which is a HUGE safety concern.

below is a recap of all my class periods <3

1st period: Colorguard

Nothing much happened here, again a lot of today was just a repeat of all procedures. There were a few band specific things, such as attendance, rehearsals, UDB, and stuff pertaining to the band hall itself. There is now a form so if need be, your istrument can be turned into the shop to get fixed!

We also cleaned out the guard locker room/area. All of the costumes from last year got put in one of the lower lockers. We somehow found stuff from seniors who left YEARS ago. And 3 year old water....in a jug still.. yikes.

2nd: Forensics!!!

Im actually so happy I got to be in this class. Im looking forward to a lot of things in it. Especially the labs and that one lecture about blood splatters. Our teacher is actually absent this first week, but thats because he's also the volleyball coach. (Our volleyball team is in Hawaii for nationals I believe)

We had three assignments. One of them was designing a locker (mine is super cute, it has a Marina poster), the second was a Syllabus scavenger hunt which isn't due until tomorrow but I wanted to get a jump on it so I finished it at home. The third was homework, which was just a student survey.

3rd: ELA

It was just, again, more policy updates and a little get to know you card. This class, thank god, wont be all on computer. We'll have some paper assignments. We haven't gotten our reading yet (which upsets me a teeny bit, but I'm sure we'll learn about it later in the week)

4th: AP World History

I'm actually so exited for this class its not even funny. I was genuinley upset when we didnt get our unit 0 packets and when I found out we werent getting our textbooks until Friday.

We did learn that the AP teachers are no longer allowed to split that 70% weighted major assignments to 40/30. Which absolutely sucks, and on top of that our first unit is stuff our state says we NEED to know to get said World History credit. Which means we wont even be tested on it come spring. Our district hates us.

I actually have a good teacher for this AP class, last year I had a very (idk how else to put it) 'White privlidged' teacher. AND AND I narrowly missed being stuck in a class with someone I despise. Made me so happy!

I also learned that 'The History of the Entire World I guess' is pretty accurate! So I can use that as a study resource for like- a short summary.

5th: Astronomy

SO SO SO excited for this class. And there is no math! None! (If they added math it would have to become an AP class). My teacher is so funny unironicly. He's very monotone and you would think he'd be a bore, but he's actually really funny in my opinion.

We actually will talk about why Astrology isnt real which I think will be really fun. I dont nessicarily believe astrology is real, I like the idea of it. But going indepts on why it isnt is going to be really interesting!

We also will get to learn how galaxies and solar systems form, which will be really helpfull for making my story, Abyss. Theres also gonna be night labs!! (if we go we get a free 100 on a test grade) And maybe some Day Labs if the school can get their hands on a solar telescope.

6th: Geometry

It's geometry. There wasnt really anything of note here. Just the fact that i somehow have a class full of kids who dont care abt the Highschool grades. (I have confirmed this, it isnt speculation) It's gonna be a loud period..

7th: Band (they split it up weird)

Again nothing of note. EXCEPT NOW I HAVE TO LEARN THE SHOW?? ON MY FLUTE?? WHAT??

Im in guard, i dont do 'band' until concert season. I cant work on my solo during this period OR my homework. Pissed me of factually because the original plan was as followed:

Used as a study hall

Practice choreography

Practice flute

But nope! They hate me! /j

8th: Musical Theatre!

So many new people! Its gonna be so much fun! I have a lot of friends in that class so im really excited!

I already know the song im gonna do for our first solo, just gotta get permission cuz its technicly not from a musical (Wont say im in love from hercules)

Anyways thats it!! Tmmr will most likely have some more stuff so follow if you want to see!

[blackheart-6]

dess-ember day 31/31

hi yall

today i bring my final entry!! i cant believe i made it

its a dess ref, but after the events of deltarune, where i imagine she will be freed

fun fact, i actually made the dess ref i still use exactly a year ago, so thats neat ^^

im not sure if I will keep this design for her being older (the age i usually draw her as is like 15 or 16), but i feel like it turned out okay

i made her a researcher (she researches things to do with souls and magic, things that exist in deltarune but arent really known about in my headcanons), but im unsure if it was the right choice. i imagine she got stuck with gaster in the code for a couple of years, but before that she didnt know what she wanted to do with her life. the way I see it, the gaster in the code with her is the one from undertale, so he has a lot of knowledge on magic and stuff, and learning about it was interesting and helpful for her, and after she got out she wanted to share her knowledge and learn more.

as i said, i dont know if this was a good choice of career, considering she wasnt really the type to become a researcher, but she also changed when she was in the code, so idk. i might change it later.

and for her design, i tried to keep her unruly look as much as possible, despite her job. i changed her hairstyle, keeping it short but giving her a side part and little hair pieces in front of her ears.

i also gave her glasses. i imagine shes needed them for awhile, but she didnt want to look like a nerd 😂 now shes just accepted her fate. i also gave her piercings on her ears, just as a callback to some of my older drawings of her, where i gave her piercings there too.

for her outfit, i gave her a pair of basic dress pants, and a turtleneck (because i love turtlenecks a bit too much lol). and then i gave her a green jacket/coat thing, cause i had to keep her with green, ofc.

and for accessories, i gave her a watch (to match with noelles watch), and i gave her a bracelet with noelles sweater colors. i also gave her a white ring on her left hand, because when i looked it up that was where aro rings were (i hope thats accurate lol).

and thats it, my final entry! its so weird that im here, i didnt think i would make it. i thought id get bored, or too busy, or run out of ideas or something, but i made it. there was a lot of struggle sometimes, and there was ideas i had planned that i never got to, but i feel like it really helped me, having this month. ive definitely gotten better at drawing dess, and i feel like my anatomy and posing had gotten better ^^. though, i dont know if ill do this again. it was difficult, and next year ill be in college, so i might be too busy. i guess we will just wait and see 😁

during this month, ive also thought a lot about dess in general. i have so many thoughts and ideas involving her, yet we still have such little knowledge on her. its weird, i have this whole dess created, but one day she will become obsolete, and we will see who dess actually is. i dont know how to feel about it. but, until we actually see dess, i plan to keep drawing my dess, and i might keep drawing her after we see dess, it just depends. even if im nervous to see her, i cant wait either!

but thats enough of my ramblings, im sure nobody read all that, so for a tldr, i just talked about why i designed older dess like that, my thoughts on my dess-ember, and my thoughts on dess ^^

i hope yall have a wonderful new years!! 🥳🥳

[yenqa]

10 QUESTIONS FOR U - enhablrinas edition get it bc tumblrina + enhablr

favorite color of themes?

moot with best theme?

you can send a love letter to anyone. fictional/idols/celebs. who?

which moot is most active? which moot do you barely ever run into but LOVE?

most rizzful mutual? do you flirt with ur moots?

favorite petnames/nicknames? giving or recieving?

have you ever had an online crush? (or on a moot GASP)

ever been involved in drama?

do u keep up with tumblr drama?

be honest. how many times have u swapped biases? no judgement here :D

were u here for the insaneness that was lockdown enhablr?

MIA moot u want to comeback?

ur fave fic or smau that gagged u when u read it? seungstarss BET was the end of the fucking world for me I WAS DISTRAUGHT oddeonu too grrrr the ptsd fuckkkk too there was someone m1ngh8o or smtg idk w this jungwon smau and it KILLLED MEEE he was yns roommate and always so fucking rude and his gf was legit cheating on him but he didn't leave her. gf made moves on his bff jake too who liked reader. slowburns where the main lead is an ass rlly annoy me but i also will them the shit up bc i luv angst and toxicity :DDD

are you close w ur moots? do u have any on socials?

what is ur biggest ick to see on tumblr?

words u find urself repeating too much? words u love using?

any enhablr inside jokes ur part of?

ever been featured in a moots fic?

have u ever dreamt of enhypen?

ur favorite enha pc u want rlly badly?

DRINK WATER + YOU ARE LOVED <3

thank you so much for sending an ask!! i love these weirdly specific questions! moots so sorry if youre tagged multiple times

1. i lovee pink or like neutral colored themes because i love when themes are super minimalistic !!

2. i love @okwonyo @byhees and @soov ‘s themes!! they always eat down and i use them for inspo sometimes ^_^

3. obviously, would send a love letter to my beautiful boyfriend park jongseong

4. okay idrk most active but i see @flwrstqr on my feed a bunch!! and i lovee talking to @boyfhee on the rare occasion we do talk T^T

5. guys this is all about mutuals but i literally have like two i talk to 😭 but most rizzful is @voikiraz my queen mari <3

6. my name “yen” is a nickname that just stuck with me for tumblr so probably that! but i love saying babe but i can only say that online

7. no 😭 i honestly dont think i could ever have an online crush

8. in real life no! on tumblr…

9. i want to but im so out of the loop 😭😭 @yeokii keeps me up to date though!

10. for enhypen,,, like three times… at first it was heeseung, then sunghoon, then jay!!

11. sadly no!! i joined in like summer of 2022 (happy two year anniversary!)

12. i actually am so bad at remembering my moots. like i have to interact with them to remember them so no so sorry 😭

13. OH MY GOD ODDEONUS SMAUS. but theres this one heeseung smau called “reality check!” i forgot the author, ALSO @amakumos go figure! OH MY GODD STUCK WITH ME FOREVER I DONT CARE ITS DISCONTINUED. also one more. “the language of flowers” by @soobnny GOD KILL ME NOW I LOVE THAT SMAU.

14. i am close with a couple of them!! i have @yeokii @wvnkoi and @jennaissantes on insta and a bunch of moots on discord!

15. people who dont reblog about gaza.. no matter the account size..

16. i use “LMFAO” a lot because its the only way i laugh ERMM and recently ive been calling people just “boy” or “girl” LMFAO

17. uh none! its okay though i am #antisocial girl

18. i have!! check out @yeokii ‘s upcoming smau “love glitch” guys (and upcoming maybe @soov smau *cough* tdwp *cough*🤫)

19. thank GOD i havent 🙏

20. JAY PEACH PC ONE DAY I WILL GET MY HANDS ON U. also sunghoon glasses pc in romance untold 😵‍💫😵‍💫

anyways… thank u so much for sending me these questions!!

[bulletproofscales]

Hey there, hope you’re well! Love your work, it’s amazing. Hope you don’t mind me asking, but was really interested in how you started writing BTS wg fics and which member of youe favourite to write about? always love your work and excited for whatever comes next :)

omg hiii!! ⸜( *ˊᵕˋ* )⸝ first of all, thank you soso much for the support?!!?!? it always makes me happy to see likes/reblogs/ao3 comments from blogs i recognize (ಥ﹏ಥ) and this ask,,, youre making my day.

i got inot a ramble so ill put one of these hehe sorry (ง ื▿ ื)ว

i dont mind the question at all!! even if i was a deep lurker in feedism communities of most of my fandoms. looking "chubby draco malfoy " into google images since 2012 (￣▽￣*)ゞ and later religiously following wg-writers of whatever fandom i migrated through. i would always send so many asks, and when i got into BTS i was older, and properly aware of what feedism was, and actively looking for it on tumblr. back then it was a handful of people with now deactivated blogs and @bangtanstummies (who as im writing this blog see has a deactivated blog as well :,) , i swear going through my dms is like going through a cementary) . i try to stay in touch with as many of the people now as i can!! but everyone will know im the suckiest at texts (@cookiesuga55 will know ) but id love to chat more and be more present

anyway back to the community in 2018, i really loved their stuff, and i felt like there was still room to add new ideas (which was hard in a fandom with as much fanficiton as BTS's) , thats what inspired to make my blog!! back then it was claled bangtangchub, and i didnt know how to activate my asks, bangtanstummies was the one to let me know and we even got into a discord all of us together!!! crazy times ( ◡‿◡ *) i remember being the oldest of the group👴 i was 15 at the time, some coudl argue it wasn't my place to be writing fetish fanfiction, maybe theyre right. but i found such a happy place in my fics. not only have i met some of my closest friends through here; (people ive met in real life!?!? ) but its helped me so much to find a safe place to explore my emotions, sexuality, and craft a hobby that was all my own. i dont think im that good of a writer, but i am really so proud of having stuck to something for so long, and having worked on it all by myself.

often times i feel like i lack the motivation to do anything with my life, and just all-around consider myself someone who lacks the strength and backbone to really do hard things. and i like to think of this blog, and my journey in it, as a place that proof i can... idk,, be good at things i worked hard on.

ANYWAY!! that was a long rant. As for the character i like writing the most about!! welli role play as jungkook almost daily! so i do feel a lot of myself in him. but i love writing all characters, over the years i really made an effort to not fall into a comfortable ship, because i really do think you could spin a wheel and whatever combination of bts members ahs their own unique loving dynamic.

as for things to come!! im working on a fic inspired by some art i saw recently by @gigichingado , jikook, im really liking how its turning out, and ofc because its me, its stretching out more and more in the build up ( _ _ ") . but i want it done over this week!! ps, i saw your obese tae requests, and i can definetly get something out after that (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

thank you for asking and giving me a place to rant!!

[muirneach]

tagged by @aliassimes and @drunkenromantic yayyy thank you both <3

1. do you make your bed

yes sir 😇

2. favourite number

don’t really have one but 3

3. what’s your job

i start working at a tennis club in a week and a half after like 10 months of unemployment 🤪

4. if you could go back to school, would you?

i start university in approx four months so i think im kind of stuck here for now lol

5. can you parallel park

no i can’t drive

6. do you think aliens are real

yes absolutely but no i don’t think they have been here or anything like that

7. can you drive a manual car

okay i know i just said i can’t drive but i sort of can and i’ve never actually driven automatic. so um yes somehow

8. guilty pleasure

idk 90s dudebro country. actually i am guilty about everything

9. tattoos

no sir 😇

10. favourite colour

yellow and white and green. and blue and brown. there is beauty everywhere

11. favourite type of music

trad folk + 60s folk rock + 70s cosmic american

12. do you like puzzles

yes always a good time with them indeed i could really thrive in a retirement home methinks

13. any phobias

i may or may not have ocd so um. You Know. hard to separate that out. nevertheless aside from that seashells freak me out

14. favourite childhood sport

hockey sorry for being canadian

15. do you talk to yourself

yes all the time. you should hear me when i ride my bike lol

16. tea or coffee

tea

17. first thing you wanted to be when you grew up

umm it wasn’t the first cause idr that but i did want to be a graphic novelist at one point

18. what movies do you adore

i <3 westerns and dramas and crime movies. or if we’re asking specific movies then my favourite movie is paris texas 1984

umm tagging @eriecanal @talkinghead1968 @garpond @meadow-dusk @westerberg and anyone else who i forgot

[shitouttabuck]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @thewolvesof1998 thank u bud i’m procrastinating packing and this was fun

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

seven!

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

129,484 which is a fake number to me

3. what fandoms do you write for?

nothing has made me as insane in my life as network television procedural drama 911 on abc, so

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

you can start a family who will always show you love

let the world have its way with you

my hearts over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance

like a dog with a bird at your door

i like the summer rain (i like the sounds you make)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try very hard to because they make me so happy and it’s unbelievably kind of people to take the time to leave them!!! However i sometimes leave it too long and then worry it’s weird to reply after like. a month. which as a fic reader i wouldn’t give a shit about so idk what my problem is!!!! i will reply i will just maybe take a hot sec to do it

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don’t have any i’m a happily ever after or bust kinda guy in my own head if nowhere else…… angstiest is probably the sound of love astounds me if only because it ends post-feelings realisation but still pre-relationship

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

they’re all so happy omg. i will say with great personal bias it’s my heart’s over-pumping but also i have. a sequel in the works….

8. do you get hate on fics?

no people have been very very very lovely but also sjjsjsjs i’ve not been here super long. the funniest comment i’ve gotten was on my first fic where someone was like i liked this but it is jarringly inaccurate as mcdonald’s in california doesn’t have a veggie burger option 😭 i cried laughing im so sorry to u americans. pls petition your local mcdonald’s to stock the mcplant it slaps

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

have written two e-rated fics….. it’s very fun but i don’t think i’m very good so i’d like to practice actually (maybe some sexy prompts after i finish the bed-sharing ones?) just the regular kind for now like i love buck and eddie desperately and am myself into a million things but i don’t know how kinky they would actually get in my own head. so just a little gross with it for now i guess

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nope!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no that would be SICK. @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove is podficcing bucket list fic which is so very cool of her!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no omg i don’t know how y’all do it i’m bad at group projects but also this sounds soooooo fun. if also deeply stressful

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

if that’s synonymous with most likely to get you institutionalised, uh. gestures around us. otherwise mulder/scully and i am just now right as i’m typing this realising i’ve never ever in my life actually read x files fic what the fuck. also steve/bucky but i haven’t read fic since 2017 probably

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

listen i have not written a word for x files au past that one snip i shared forever ago. i want to soooo bad i’ve talked about it to some of you very rabidly but. it does not want to be written and if it did it would have to be so fucking long which is very daunting to me. not saying i’ve put her in the ground yet but. we might need some necromancing

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i’m pretty good at writing in character? mostly? sometimes i struggle with buck just because i think we’re very similar and i project a little and then have to go back and fix it lmao but for the most part i think i’m good at that! and i have a lot of fun writing dialogue

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

plot!!!!!! and pacing!!!!!!!!!!! also my inability to write non-linearly omg if i get stuck i just get Stuck i can’t jump ahead

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

oooh i love it and would love to include more than the teeniest bits i have but i’m so conscious about it sounding natural and not stiff to people whose language it actually is (shout out and a million kisses to @eddiebabygirldiaz for fixing the spanish in i love you like a dog!!!!!)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

911 babey!

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

my heart’s over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance !!! not just because it was the first fic i posted after joining tumblr fandom but. idk it is so so so special to me like it makes me so happy and when i think about it i’m like. hey u wrote that. good for u my dude. and also maybe i just associate it with meeting a bunch of you whjsjssjsj

tagging @callaplums @eddiebabygirldiaz @housewifebuck @rewritetheending @try-set-me-on-fire @onward--upward @anxieteandbiscuits @devirnis @athenagranted if anyone wants to do this i’m nosy soz if you already have !!!!