#15 ect
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Right. I have so many thoughts about the Doctor Who Christmas special... buckle up.
First of all, and perhaps most importantly, I had a lot of fun. Ncuti Gatwa is just incredible, with his megawatt smile and energy that so perfectly encapsulates the doctor; I hadn't realised how much I'd missed seeing him on my screen until now. Moffat's bringing a pretty good game here, with a story and a universe that really intruiged me- Time Hotel! How cool is that?! The little storyline involving Anita and the Doctor working in a hotel for a year is so heart-warming, and that's what Doctor Who is all about, isn't it- the connections forged between people, friendship and love and finding companionship in dark places. May have teared up. Fully thought Moffat was going to do what he does best and set us up to love Anita only to make us watch her die, but, thankfully, he held out!
I have one major.... head scratching complaint here, though. I'd like people to correct me if I'm wrong, but did this episode have particularly... anti-covid lockdown messaging? Joy regrets not being with her mum when she died in hospital because of, and I quote, "nonsense rules."
It's one thing to regret not being with your mother when she passed, obviously, and social distancing rules were awful things that we all had to abide by, nobody doubts that... but Joy is framed as a rule-stickler and in the wrong for observing social distancing protocol during the pandemic, which in the narrative- and by the Doctor- is framed as a failing on her part.
I'm very sensitive to people not taking Covid seriously. I know people who have been affected lifelong by it's effects- many died, as we all well know- so to have Doctor Who laugh in the face of pandemic lockdown and call a necessary practise that saved lives a 'nonsense rule' kind of smarted.
Hey, I don't know. And I had fun: that's what matters.
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in honour of wolvie returning to the big screen here's a fond childhood memory
#dw 10yo me in 15 years you get testosterone#mine#my art#trans#transmasc#wolverine#i cant be the only one with this experience#trans icon cisgender man is short ect ect
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so has anyone figured out WHY there is the Need To Share our Artworks™ or is it just the vibes and our Soul apparently
#ive been running on “two cakes. u aren't BOTHERING people by putting art on their feed they can scroll past it/if they dont they get ”cake“”#and we love “cake”#“cake” is picture on the internet in this case#like okay the contracts and transaction format is a me problem!! i need to get rid of the “utilitarian brain worms” bc they're boring#this is supposed to be a hobby and the “get a good grade in hobby” wolf in the brain is just crying bc that's how they understand the world#the “get a good grade in x” wolf has valid pain but needs to stop controlling my life because they don't need to earn “enough value to live”#ect ect ect#and the life of minmaxxed utility is a life of trying to appeal to a “correct” that doesn't exist yaddi yadda = boring#i love you wolf. also shut up. affectionate. concerned. you get it#ok so we remove tangible purpose from act of experience art because THAT'S not “the point”#because “the point” is the joy killer eccetera ecc#but then what? “here check out this labor of love. i drew this fucker 15 times. no there's no story* there it's just a guy”#*story in this case being an emotional engagement/a situation/a context in which to ponder/other#so it's just a Draw. no further analysis. what do others Get from that?#i know i deeply enjoy art because im a fan of the process of People Making Stuff. i love when there was nothing but now there's something!!!#THAT'S what's it all about!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!! right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so it stands to reason that creation is purpose enough?? to be experienced???? to be known????????#idk!!#this is a nothing burger of a thought people have always liked picture on the internet stfu maiora there doesn't need to be a reason#this is just the brainworms talking!!! because god forbid “something not have a purpose”??? blegh!!!!!!!!#sounds like unhealthy rationalizing instead of letting things be out of The Fear™!!sounds like depraving urself from joy bc of BRAINWORMS!!!#so like!!!!! picture on the internet doesn't NEED inherent value. creation is enough!! (plus there's the Attachment to Character. also.)#but then why are YOU *points at you* here? gen q!!#i made an image you like and now you are reading my word babble in some tags!!! what's THAT all about???????????#it's INTERESTING!! do you see what im trying to get at??#is it empathy??? person made something other saw something other made- other2other connection???? intrigue????????#.......all this is probably explained in some book or yt essay somewhere. oh well.#in the meantime thank you for your time! we can pretend we were stuck in an elevator together and then i started rambling#i hope you have a great rest of your day thanks for stopping by!! <3#maiora garrulates
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#over a month now since my baby boy left me.#genuinely feel sick with how much i miss him all the time everywhere#it feels like its been 15 years and also only half an hour since then#finally got the locket to put some of his fur in so he'll always be with me. which.#made me feel better for approximately 4.2 minutes and then we were back to bottomless endless grief#I miss him and miss him and miss him and miss him and miss him all day every day every second of every minute#his absence is so loud#and i feel so fucking guilty so incredibly fucking at fault its killing me because i should have noticed soon i should have paid more#fucking attention#hes gone and its my fault. my fault my sweet darling angel who only ever loved me is gone#my baby boy deserved so much better#and all i can do is cry about it it doesnt change anything it doesnt make anything better it doesnt bring him back#anyway. i wish I was dead haha#u know the apiel ignore me i just needed to type this out ect and so on#bb baby#txt.me
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Because of a depressive episode I've had for the past <6 months, I didn't write my bachelor project because I simply couldn't. Every day was just me staying alive. I've barely done anything but stay alive, trying to feed myself while having no energy or desire to do so. Less than a month ago, however, my brother contacted me and helped me write my supervisor, and now I've written the contract and am working on it in the 5th block (I have my semesters divided in half called blocks). The deadline is 11th of August. And it's going really well so far. My supervisor is the sweetest person and has helped me a lot with all the bureaucracy stuff and such! Only now do I realise how bad I've been feeling for these past months, and how I don't need to feel that way. Everything will work out.
#these posts always make me realise smth more about myself#this is why it's important to put feelings into text so i can come to new realisations about myself#btw im writing about communication of biodiversity in popular science#even tho im on a biology bachelor bc a) bachelor is only 15 ects b) i feel its important for scientists to learn how to communicate#their findings to the general public and this will make me better at communicating when i become a scientist#scientists within humaniora are waaay better at communicating to the public than natural scientists and I think thats a shamr#bc it leads to a lot of misunderstandings and simplifications of the issues we face#so i am analysing how popular science communictates compared to the SCIENTIFIC definition of biodiversity#also to understand how the communication of scientists lack#so i can become a scientist who communicates her findings instead of a journalist misunderstanding and framing it a particular way#nonsims#tw depression
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I always hate the pity I get when I say "I don't have much of a family"
Like, fuck you dude. My family is very small, but my parents distanced themselves from their relatives for a good fucking reason and so have I
#gopher rambles#vent ish#idk im feeling bitter tonight#my grandmothers both died before i was born. my dads dad died when i was very small. my mom when i was 15. my papal last year#my dad's brother and his wife live many states away and we never speak. my moms brother makes me feel super unsafe and his exwife has#(UNDERSTANDABLY) put a lot of distance between herself and the family despite being very intertwined in it#my brother is a piece of shit and i havent had any real sibling love for him since i was ten years old. i tolerate him at a distance.#thats it#all i have is my dad (and my Sib From Another Crib. Corey. but we dont live anywhere near eachother) and my pets#thats it. thats it. i like it that way#for some folks the anger i feel about it might sound overblown because SURELY i dont hear this much right?#well. in the Appalachian culture family is one of the most important things. its supposed to be close knit and clannish. that i basically#have none makes me a bit of an outcast from the community. and i hate it#there is distance between me and my surviving relatives for a good fucking reason and acting like i just need to fix those bonds make me#want to commit great bodily harm. goddamnit#usually when i tell people about my family its to explain something. i dont do thanksgiving. barely do Christmas. ect.
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recycling some old oc and making some new one
#original#okuri#akacha akeboshi#renya ichimura#yoso ibaraki#reiko himitsume#haibara izumigami#kazuma ibaraki#kaori/shizuka lastnamepending#pls dont tag as kin/me/id/ect#i made akacha/yuki for an rp group when i was 12ish and okuri as an onmyoji oc when i was 15/16#my taste in Character has always been the same
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it’s a crime that i have to get up and go to university and can’t just lie in bed and listen to the wind shaking the big tree outside and the rain drumming against my window….
#own post#i was so so so so SO close to just skipping today#but I think it might be exactly the topic of today that I will have to / choose to write my exam about#an exam worth 15 ects. so yeah. i think it’s really good to just show up#and then i can go home early and get ready for tomorrow#(i literally dreamt that I got ready for tomorrow. down to making a grocery list. it’s insane)#anyways. that was a thought blob. thanks for listening <3
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in the mood for some self tickling again. any lers want to DM me or send asks demanding me to tickle my feet in a certain way, with a certain tool, for a certain amount of time ect? might send vids too…
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I HAVE. TO BE AWARE OF THE FLOW OF TIME . TIME BLINDNESS HAS NOTHING ON ME
#lulu vet appointment upcoming VERY soon and i have to have her all packed up and ready IMMEDIATELY#pressed for time ect ect#SHIFTING GEARS. FOR THE DREADED OFT SPOKEN ABOUT. 3PM DAY RUINER COMMITMENT#ready for pickup at 3:25 so lulu should be packed up earlier than that. no later than 3:15 i think bc she WILL be mad about it#she's v sweet v tolerant and forgiving but. she WILL fight being put in The Evil Box#i'm SO GOOD. AT MANAGING TIME. AT CONCEPTUALIZING TIME. I'M REALLY GOOD AT IT
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I hate people who put bond ces on their support. Stop flexing and make your servants actually useful to me
#unless youre like herc of course#sometimes support ones like castorias that give 15% arts to the party are okay but there's rarely not something else that would be better#the annoying thing is that usually if someone uses a servant that much they have a lot of investment into them with fous grails ect#so a lot of times the servant could be great if they just put an actual ce on them but the bond ce just ruins it#fgo
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73 yards was sooooo fucking peak. You didn't get it? Neither! Must an episode be understandable to be good? Isn't it enough to have beautiful, beautiful cinematography and a story about bringing down a slimey politician? And the haunting visual of the TARDIS overgrown with moss? And the doctor, for all his 2 seconds of screentime, in a gigantic yellow coat and Millie Gibson acting her heart out? By far my favourite episode of the 15th Doctors run so far and if Boom was so quintessentially reminiscent of Moffats era this episode was so incredibly RTD in it's companion focus and overall vibes and- it was just great.
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people are so obsessed with assigning a true "bad guy" character in deltarune its funny
#dib noise#especially with the main characters. they're like 17 at most calm down#(kris/susie/noelle/ralsei ect)#but honestly goes in general#<- i say at absolute most theyre probably like 15#'why do they act like that' have you ever been 15
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perhaps it's bc I actually had to experience an asexual adult be a pedophile that I'm so like. wary of people assuming that sexual attraction is a prerequisite for sexual abuse
#☢️.txt#nora fundip pizzas ect i am still bitter about you literally trying to defend urself with 'well im ace' when everyone called you out#sometimes i feel like i overreacted bc there wasnt a huge age gap (17 vs 20) but then i remember when a friend told me that shed#been flirting with people as young as 15 lmao.#and yet the only thing she had to say about it was 'i have avpd and im ace :(((('#literally fuck off!!#theres also her baffling choice to fucking ???? lie about her age to get into DANGAN RONPA SKYPE CHATS?????#honestly every choice she made was more baffling than the next
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I fucking love living at home
#vent tw#it’s like#comes home from working all day.#no plans for dinner. No groceries bought.#oh yeah we don’t have money for groceries#we DID have money for groceries#but that went towards their stupid vacation next month#so while they get to go on vacation next month#I’m fucking hungry.#getting told to do the dishes first thing after coming home while also not being provided#one of the few remaining things I rely on them for#I love it here#(I’m going to tear my hair out)#(I want to go back to 15 minutes ago when I was in the car listening to my favorite songs)#(screaming crying throwing up ect)
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at that time of year (not the holidays i just go through this once a year) where i desperately want to be in a relationship, where i kinda get over being single and want to settle down,,,, and get married,,, have a baby! but it'll pass like it does but if you see me being more emotionally insane than usual that's why
#like my coworker was like 'when you get married—'#today and i had a whole argument with myself in the bathroom on#how i never want to get married! because i don't! but also!#and then i listened to alibi and 15 by xana back to back and that did something to me#i need to be in therapy but god#and i keep thinking about marrying football players ect ect#like i genuinely like being single and being alone im not lonely#but damn sometimes it hits me that i wish i had a person i could hold and share the world with :/#anyway :)#eris: text
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