#12 days of sam and max

[magicaloctopus333]

12 days of sam and max- 6 geese a laying

[mshroom1e]

ೃ⁀➷ Baby My Phone

type: headcanons

listen to me yap about what phones i’d think twst characters would have.

2.2k words

Characters: NRC students

╰┈➤ Riddle

Uses a landline.

╰┈➤ Ace

He uses an iPhone but it’s one of those broken, screen protector hanging off, yellow clear case iPhone 8s.

He still thinks his phone is better than an Android and refuses to switch.

His wallpaper is one of those with a massive Nike tick and a “just do it” in a neon red camouflage pattern.

He hasn’t changed it since he was 12.

-2/10

╰┈➤ Deuce

He has a Samsung for sure.

It’s not one of the most expensive ones like an S24 Ultra but it’s reliable.

He’s got a pretty average phone case. It’s navy blue and heavy-duty, making his phone practically indestructible.

His wallpaper is probably yellow with a cartoonish picture of a chick breaking out of an egg.

Pretty simple.

Distinguished taste for an equally distinguished gentleman.

9/10

╰┈➤ Trey

He has a Samsung S10.

I don’t know why, but he just does.

I can also see him using one of those grandpa wallet cases where he carries everything inside.

His phone case doubles as a purse with the bits and bobs he puts in there.

It’s literally a fanny pack that just happens to have space to hold a phone.

Need a napkin? Hold on, let him get it from his phone case real quick.

It’s really handy but a little ridiculous with the amount of stuff he carries in there.

The battery life is hammered thanks to the hours of temple run his siblings play on it whenever he goes home for holidays.

His wallpaper is probably a picture of his siblings, which is cute.

4/10.

Would be higher if it wasn’t for the silly wallet case.

╰┈➤ Cater

We’ve already seen his phone multiple times in game, so I don’t think I have much to say.

His wallpaper is bold, like the phone case he uses.

It’s not exactly ugly, but it definitely suits him.

It’s just not something most people would want to put on their phones.

He’s 100% an iPhone user but he’s the type that gets the new model that comes out every year.

Either that or he’s using one of his sister’s hand-me-downs that’s an iPhone 13. (just like me fr).

6/10

If it wasn’t for that peculiar phone case, I’d rate it higher.

╰┈➤ Leona

I can see him using a Samsung S24 Ultra.

He barely uses it, though.

Most of the time, he tosses the phone at his nephew to keep him distracted when he sees him at home.

Because of that, he’s got a home screen full of kids' mobile games like Talking Tom and Subway Surfers.

The phone’s got a small crack in the screen from when Cheka dropped it but it wasn’t a big deal so Leona never bothered to get it fixed or replaced.

He’s got a leopard print phone case and his wallpaper is a selfie Reggie took with him sleeping and set it on his lock screen that he never bothered to change.

7/10

Again, the phone case is a no from me.

╰┈➤ Ruggie

He uses a Samsung too.

It’s an older model, like an S10+.

It’s a gift from Leona that he tossed at Ruggie one day.

Ruggie is pretty grateful for it since he was wondering how he’d contact his grandmother back at home without a phone since he wouldn’t be able to get a durable one until a while of saving up.

He takes pretty good care of it and there’s no scratches or cracks.

His wallpaper matches the selfie of himself and Leona that he set as the latter’s lock screen.

He got himself a heavy-duty phone case just to make sure it doesn’t get damaged.

10/10.

Totally not biased.

╰┈➤ Jack

He’s an iPhone user, probably sporting an iPhone 12 Pro Max. You can’t blame him for needing a large phone when he’s got pretty big hands.

He uses a clear case that’s somehow got no yellowing to it and his phone is green. It’s got a pretty wrecked battery life thanks to the younger sibling x phone syndrome.

His little sister killed the battery life with her 500 cumulative hours on Roblox and Among Us.

He doesn’t really mind since he doesn’t use his phone more than like 4 times a day.

8/10

Pretty cool.

╰┈➤ Azul

A tasteful Samsung user.

He’s one of those people who thinks iPhones are a scam and refuses to buy into it, like the classy businessman he is.

(he just has no idea how to use one).

Idk if Merfolk have waterproof phones or just communicate with echolocation but let’s pretend that the fish people have phones too.

He sports a Samsung Z Flip5 in lavender. He also has a baby blue phone case with a little seashell on it.

The twins tease him about his cutesy design choice but he shrugs it off since he knows it looks good.

It’s a shame he rarely uses the phone when he’s not going to send emails, do schoolwork and post on the lounge’s social media, though.

He also watches food ASMR videos. His wallpaper is a picture of the sea in the usual daytime lighting.

10/10

Very nice

╰┈➤ Jade

Another Android Avenger using a Samsung S22 in sage green.

His phone is in pretty good condition.

Though, he’s got a few spots of soil trapped between his screen protector and the end of his phone case.

There’s only like a single, tiny crack on his screen protector for dropping it on the floor face first when in the Botanical Garden talking to his little plants.

Can’t really blame him since he looks up tutorials when handling new spores. His phone case is transparent with (you guessed it) a pattern of little mushrooms littered on the back.

His wallpaper is a pic of him and Floyd when they were in their first year at NRC. It’s a strangely cute phone for someone as shady as Jade.

7/10

Nice, but the mushrooms r kinda overkill.

╰┈➤ Floyd

His phone doesn’t have a single crack on it.

He’s someone who takes really good care of his stuff and has a bunch of screen protectors since he knows how prone he is to dropping and accidentally throwing his phone.

His battery is fried tho since he’s notorious for playing a bunch of those silly mobile games like Fill the Fridge or Crowd City.

When he isn’t tormenting people with his deadly hugs, he’s sat perched in a corner gargoyle style with his eyes glazed over as he plays Block Blast with a score of 10,000.

Floyd’s pretty diverse with his phone case and he changes it depending on how he feels that day. Most of the time, he goes for his pale green one with an eel drawing on it, like the bag he used during the Camp Vargas event.

His wallpaper is either matching with Jade’s or a random photo of the sea he took a few days ago.

10/10

Very cool

╰┈➤ Kalim

Gets the newly released iPhone every year.

He’s not that bad though, since he gives his old one to his sibling and they pass it on to the next sibling like One For All.

His phone has no cracks on it too. He makes sure to take good care of it since he knows it’s gonna be his younger sibling’s phone in about a year and he doesn’t want them to have to use a broken phone.

He’s just nice like that. His phone case is orange with little peach circles dotted all around the back.

He’s another notorious mobile gamer with his number 1 game being Where’s My Water. His lock screen is a particularly nice-looking spread from one of the many parties he’s had over at his dorm.

10/10

Kalim is the best

╰┈➤ Jamil

Humble Samsung S21 user.

He may or may have not opted for this brand out of spite after Kalim suggested he get an iPhone so they could easily AirDrop stuff to each other.

(Quick Share is better anyway)

Isn’t much of a mobile gamer but he’s found a second home on AITA communities on Reddit.

I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.

Jamil’s wallpaper is either something pretty like the sunset at his dorm or something silly like a selfie he took doing face masks with his sister.

As per sibling rules, however, he always makes sure to change his second lock screen any time he goes home.

She can’t know that he cares that much.

1000/10

Jamil favouritism.

╰┈➤ Vil

iPhone 15 pro max ultra mega sigma plus plus premium user.

Sometimes he has to record videos on his phone, so he needs one with the best camera and screen refresh rate possible.

It’s scary how he has no games on his phone except Wordscapes.

Believes screen time is terrible for your skin (is it?) and refuses to spend more than an hour on it outside of updating his different social media accounts.

His phone has no cracks and he hates greasy screens so best believe he’s got a glass cleaner wipe tucked into his pocket everywhere he goes.

His phone case is purple with a pop socket in the shape of a gold crown. His wallpaper is a picture of himself (ofc it is) from his favourite photoshoot.

6/10

Vil

╰┈➤ Rook

Samsung Soldier.

Rook uses a hefty Samsung Fold5.

Sometimes he needs a phone to do phone stuff and sometimes he needs a tablet to view a proper sized map of NRC for various uses I will not elaborate on for legal reasons.

When Vil takes away Epel’s phone, I imagine Rook allows Epel to use his phone to play Subway Surfers or Roblox.

Lives risky life and doesn’t use a case or a screen protector.

His phone somehow isn’t shattered especially after the billion times it’s fallen to the ground at the speed of light when he watches people from trees.

His lock screen is a Pinterest collage of Vil. 5/10

Vil

I refuse to elaborate

╰┈➤ Epel

Cracked Samsung S9.

Been using the same phone since he was 12 and refuses to let it go.

Anytime he falls, the phone disassembles and his battery goes flying.

He has to do a walk of shame each time to pick up his battery and put it back inside his phone.

Sometimes he stays up until 3 am playing COD mobile with Deuce and hides his phone under his pillow every time Vil opens his door to make sure the first years are asleep.

His wallpaper is a really cute selfie with him and the rest of the first year group. No phone case.

9/10

The battery thing is sadly relatable

╰┈➤ Idia

He uses a Samsung S24 Ultra.

Perfect mix of amazing performance as well as free rein to go into developer mode or download any 3rd party apps and modded games as much as he wishes.

Strongly believes Android is better.

When he isn’t raging at kids on Fortnite, he’s hidden in a corner of his room reading fanfic on AO3.

He will not tell a soul why his screen time shows that he has 6 hours every day on Samsung internet.

His phone case, I imagine would be a basic black with a little doodle of a cat on the back.

His wallpaper would be a pic of his PC setup when he thought it looked particularly cool.

10/10

Super techy.

╰┈➤ Ortho

He is the phone.

╰┈➤ Malleus

Uses a landline.

╰┈➤ Lilia

He has an iPhone 14 and no one can tell me it isn’t Kuromi-themed.

I’m talking lock screen, phone case, home screen, widgets, and icons.

It’s the black and pink/purple pallette that they both sport that makes my brain associate the two.

He’s got a few cracks and scratches from when he hangs upside down and his phone crashes to the ground like a missile.

One of his other lock screens is a pic of Silver when he was a baby and walking for the first time.

Don’t tell Silver, though.

8/10

Super cute.

╰┈➤ Silver

Lilia got him an iPhone 14 too so they could AirDrop things to each other and FaceTime every day for the year Lilia was at NRC without Silver.

Other than that, Silver rarely uses his phone.

His sleep timer is through the roof since he hibernates for most of the day.

He’s got a plain black phone case and everything on his phone is at default settings.

Including home and lock screens.

6/10

Very normal

╰┈➤ Sebek

Wanted to be cool like Malleus and have no phone since he does not wish to partake in the use of technology of human invention.

Instantly takes back that statement once he was out with the Diasomnia dorm and got lost in a marketplace.

Lilia and co had spent hours looking for him. After that, Lilia got him one of those “my first phone” gadgets for kids where the only contact numbers are emergency services and parents and the “parents” can easily access his location.

That way, they can prevent any accidents that creates their very own “Finding Sebek” franchise.

5/10

Very silly.

[thankstothe]

Some notes on Wilson's marriages/divorces, and how he met House:

• House didn't just meet a freshly divorced Wilson. He met barely married Wilson, who just got notified about his #1 divorce by a lawyer, not his wife

• Wilson walked around with papers on hand, long enough to give House a chance to sneak a peek. The same day he received the news. (there's a chance it was some sort of middle step in the divorce procedure, but "just served", checkmate your honor)

• House 100% knew that when he bailed him out. No, I don't have any concrete evidence besides "it's fucking House"

• House had Wilson observed the entire time to know he didn't open the papers. The divorce lawyer prob gave him an idea of what it is, and he was just marinating in the suffering juice

• House had to be nosy and stealthy when he checked the package Wilson clung to, he saw what's written on it

• They didn't actually talk at the conference itself, so House did it silently too

• There was a law firm address on the papers, and you couldn't just google shit then. House's had to remember it to investigate it further, or he already knew of the firm (or it said "BLAH LAW FIRM BLAH HERE'S YOUR DIVORCE PAPERS, LOSER", which is possible)

• Wilson likely opened them in a hotel room (or he looked at the package sadly/angrily there too), needed a drink, and House was at the bar

• House was watching Wilson at that conference, then at the bar, then meltdown over the song, then the whole fight and the mess, then the detention, and was like yeah I'll bail that

• "First words you ever said to me." This is when they first talked, Wilson was in jail and the one in need

• Ok alright, hear me out, if House didn't know what the papers were at the time of bailing. There are 2 paths for him to find out

• Wilson STILL had them on hand in jail

• Or Housey saw them at Wilson's hotel room. Yeah

• It's been over the decade since they've met and they both vividly remember the details of that drunk night (I get why for storytelling purposes. Still... Much to think about)

• That conference is either the last one, or one of the lasts, House attended. And that one was already boring to House without Wilson. 15 years prior to s06e06 "Known Unknowns", can't do the timeline magic I just eyeball it

• House also introduced Wilson to Cuddy pretty soon, since she was a witness to the levels of despair he was apparently in

• House might've pestered Cuddy to hire him, or she chose to do so herself (whenever she was dean). Maybe House chased away some poor oncologist to make an opening. Even if House isn't as obsessed with Wilson at the start of season 1, he's always plotting

• There's the brother thing too. Wilson still fresh out of med school, still divorcing, still guilty af and looking for the brother in Princeton, so he was happy to work there

• Prior to that, Wilson was working 2 jobs to support himself and Sam and was ready to follow her to Baltimore

• The divorce and meeting House happened in 1991, the same year USSR completely fell apart. Just thought I'll throw that in #educational

• Wilson was married, non-fraudulently, for 12 years total

• Marriage #1 has only lasted 1 year

• That means every marriage House was present for has lasted longer #math

• Wilson found a way to get fulfilled while in the marriage

• Now he's got a needy bitch with infinite problems and who will slurp any poison he has to siphon

• I'd argue House is what made Wilson bearable at home

• At the same time, House is what kept Wilson away from home, ultimately contributing to the divorce

• Wilson himself describes his marriages as crappy - he doesn't really need help destroying them. House still helps~✨

• Timeline gets wonky, but there couldn't have been much of a downtime between marriages, a couple of years max

• "Fell in love at the wedding" - whatever the fuck that means for Wilson

• Either Wilson met Sam through that wedding, and she also aimed to work in medicine - how they've connected. Or they went there as a couple, both being med students? Got high on emotions and jumped into marriage

• Wilson speedruns relationships once he's in them, so it could've gone "hey that was a nice wedding, how about we have our own?"

• He fucking sucks at proposals, his looks and general air of niceness carried him all 3 times, I will not be hearing any objections on the matter

• When Wilson talks to Cameron about cheating. He says, "I have (cheated). I always told them"

• "Them"

• It's could've been every marriage (#1, #2 and #3). If boy managed to sneak in cheating in his 1-year lightning marriage #1, while he was studying + 2 jobs (now I don't doubt his time management skills, but it's still a hassle. On the other hand, all that stress couldn't have been helping)

• Or it could be #1 and #2, or #1 and #3. But #3 is pretty much a certainty (he flirts with nurses on screen, House is also there), and it's "them", so why would he randomly stop in the middle? Don't think so

• What's most likely is - #2 and #3. When arguing with Sam (#1) again she didn't mention or allude to the cheating, her problem was that Wilson didn't communicate ANY emotions to her, she even admitted to House she made the most mistakes in that marriage, let's say there's some truth in that

• Wilson either didn't tell Sam about cheating, she didn't have a problem with it, or he lied to Cameron

• OR he didn't cheat on Sam

• He started to cheat after the first divorce AND his marriages started to last longer, which is funnier too

• He could've started cheating prior to House entering the picture, but much more likely - after. Divorce and/or House are the cause

• Speaking of. Meeting House is very tightly linked to the #1 divorce. Every time Wilson would think back on it, he would have to think about all the turmoil and getting bailed by House. And vice versa - every time he'd think back on meeting House...

• "I met someone who made me feel funny. And I didn't want to let that feeling go." Another Cameron talk. Ur honor, there's something on that wall

• btw, he is STILL married while meeting House, so if you hilson 1st-night-fuck truther, that meeting is his cheater origin story in a more practical sense. He then could've really meant all the marriages, but then he lied about telling Sam/Cameron, he might not count it since he's divorcing to tell Sam

• Ultimately, he's a huge liar, and I'm wasting my time. What I'm saying - nothing is really off the table with this guy in terms of hcs

• Aftermaths of #2 and #3 aren't really talked about like #1. It must've been really nuclear

• House says neither of them recovered from (#1) divorce to Wilson's face, Wilson doesn't contest that in any way. Even tho House didn't know Wilson before the divorce he usually right on the money with these things

• After the divorce #2 Wilson got 3 legged cat

• After failing to secure marriage #4 (#1 part 2) he got a diabetic cat

• Just like the thing he has with missing phone calls, after every divorce, consciously or not, he might expect a savior to bail him out

• After and during #3 he crashed at House's, then surfed hotels, then moved in with a dying patient, then Amber's, then House moved in with him (still Amber's)

• Maybe his wives kept taking properties in the divorce, and he just stopped getting them

• Man frankly didn't have a home for a while (HOMELESS BUT NOT HOUSELESS)

• Then Wilson finally commits and gets the place for himself and House, from Bonnie (#2)

• Wilson adamantly remains on good terms with his ex-wives (but not random exes. One helps House with a prank, House kept tabs bc of course)

• But Wilson thinks they hate him. Did he ever pay attention to them?

• While spending all the time with House, then cheating, telling his wives about it, Wilson gave them more attention and emotions to delay the divorce

• He also learned how not to get attached in marriage, to not get destroyed by the divorce (excellent gambit if you expect your marriage to fail)

• He has a better support system now too. Can't believe House is your support system, fucking lmao and ouch. Cuddy is his only other friend we see, maybe Stacy at some point (he kept in touch with after the incident)

• All his other friends and family we hear next to nothing about, at best they're surface level

• In season 5 he's only visited by the coworkers/House's team + Cuddy <- all that is pretty much House's tolerance circle

• House is pathetic, but Wilson is something else entirely

[moonpascal]

what you over here being messy for?

summary: sam misinterprets a text on your phone w: 1.5k pairing: bucky barnes x platonic fem!reader, ben barnes x reader (mentioned) warnings: miscommunication?, probably ooc, migraines, medicine/drug mentioned, fluff, sams nosy ass, pov switches?idk still new to this a/n: very self indulgent and written very fast so possible errors. posting before i second guess myself.

“Sam can you grab my phone from the kitchen, I forgot it but don’t have time myself to get it.” You sighed rubbing the throbbing migraine that’s arrived from this stressful day. One thing after another, paperwork, HR, and planning the upcoming mission. 

“Ooh you have a day tonight?” Sam snaps you out of the daze you're in and give him a questioning look. He slides your phone across the table and the screen lights up from the two-minute warning text 

BB🤍 ‘Can’t wait for tonight love’ 

An unconscious smile creeps onto your face, that Sam mimics, getting giddy as you type away. Forgetting he’s even there for a split second. When he clears his throat, you glance up and slightly cough hiding the smile. “Right yeah I’m excited, but stop reading my messages. I don’t even know how you got access to read my messages,” teasing him, not that it’s a big deal he’s seen it. He smiles before rushing out of the conference room, almost tripping on air. 

Gathering the files making sure each one is the exact same, then placing each one in their designated spot on the table. Glancing at the time, five minutes till the minutes and four hours till date night. You can do this just gotta make it a few more hours you thought. 

——————

Sam nearly felt like Pietro with how fast he ran to find Bucky. Having to congratulate him in person, then punch him for not telling him sooner. Skidding around the corner weaving passed other agents, before he spots Bucky coming out of the elevator. 

“You shithead I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Sam shoved Bucky's arm, who only gave him a puzzling look. 

“What are you on about this time? It’s too early for this” Buck walked past Sam knowing he’ll follow as they all had a briefing in less than a few minutes. 

Sam huffed, “ear- it’s 12:55, don’t change the subject. You finally ask Boss lady out and didn’t tell me!” 

Halting to a stop, Bucky quirks his eyebrow. “Why on earth do you think that?” Buck knows you're in a relationship and two, he doesn’t see you in that aspect, even if everyone thinks he does. It’s honestly a run on joke between you two at this point. 

“Don’t act coy, I've seen her text message from none other than “BB” who else would that be?” 

Bucky chuckles understanding where he got that idea. Deciding to mess with Sam, Barnes just smirks and shrugs, walking passed him into the briefing room. Sam can’t another word in as everyone is there and ready to start. 

———

The whole time you're discussing the plan for the next mission, everyone seems to be giving you smirks or subtle nods. When you face away from them focusing on breach points and surveillance systems, they shift their attention to Bucky giving him the same looks. 

If it was any other day Barnes would’ve rolled his eyes and not entertained them in the slightest. But knowing Sam sent a mass text to the team he knew exactly what those look were, and decided to enjoy it before he makes them feel stupid for listening to Sam. 

“The jet we’ll leave in 2300 hours, meeting adjourned” You turn the screen off and start gathering the mess you created. Slouching in the chair burrow your head in your hands. The lights seem to be the brightest today and every little noise is at max decibel. Honestly feels like a hangover. A gentle hand to your shoulder shook you out of your daze. Wincing at the movement you look up and James towers over you. 

“Anything I can help with?” He whispers crouching down to get a better look. He could instantly tell when you get these, especially so often. 

“Maybe Tylenol? I’ve had food and tons of water. I don’t know why I keep getting these” Groaning as the left of your eye starts throbbing now. 

“It’s because of all the overthinking and stress you put on yourself”

Looking up at him just to glare knowing he’s right. “Lead the way, I need the drugs.” 

James grabs your items before you get the chance, giving you a knowing look not to argue. As if you were in the mood to argue. Just get the medicine and work through the next two and half hours. Should be as right as rain for tonight. The mantra repeated as you let James guide you, ignoring everyone passing by. If you were paying attention, you would’ve noticed the winks and smirks thrown your way. 

What felt like a journey, you were finally at the in house pharmacy -courtesy of Tony, go figure- and James handed you the two Tylenol with their little paper cups. Whispering a quiet thanks, downing it in seconds. 

“Hopefully your headache goes away, wouldn’t want you to be miserable on your date,” the pharmacist smiles at you. 

Scrunching your eyebrows for a second, “huh? Oh, right yeah of course thanks” giving a tight smile to her before starting the trek back to your office. 

“I swear Sam has the loudest mouth, James I love him but nothing is secret with him around” 

Buck put the files on the corner of your desk, chuckling as you rant, saying this was the exact reason she wasn’t telling anyone about Ben. 

“It was bound to happen doll,” he dims the light in the office as you situate yourself grumbling in agreement. “Let me know when you’re gonna head out today, I’ll walk you.” 

“Thank James I appreciate it.” giving the best smile you can manage before going back to the emails piling by the minute. Feels like Jim Carrey in that one movie answering all the never ending emails. 

As time passed the migraine was slowly diminishing, your phone didn’t get the same treatment. A text coming in every few minutes.

Tones: Have fun on your date with Barnes

Nat: Can’t believe you tell me about your date

Wanda: knew it! It was about time

And many more along the same lines. Knowing word spread faster than captain rogers blushing at an innuendo, you couldn’t complain that the cat was finally out of the bag. Glimpsing at the time, smiling that it’s time to head out.  Signing out of your computer and shooting James a quick text that you’re done. 

Heading towards the common room, it seems like the whole team was there. “Bye guys have a good night, see some of you after the mission!”

James enters the room before anyone can bid you farewell and their smiles get bigger as mine did. “Ready to go doll?” 

“Enjoy your date you guys!” Tony teases, earning a slap from Pepper. 

Curiously looking at James, “You have a date? And you didn’t tell me? Who did you ask?” Feigning a hurt look. 

“Apparently it’s you boss lady,” he smiles wrapping his arm around you and squeezing your shoulder.

“What?” beyond confused and not the only one as everyone has an unreadable look. 

“Wait, you're not going on a date with Bucky? But your text said “can’t wait for tonight” sent by BB! Bucky Barnes!” Sam all but exasperated. 

James and you share a look before bursting into tears. Wiping them away before catching your breath. “That was from my boyfriend, Ben Barnes.” 

“Boyfriend!! Since when? And why the hell would his name be his initials in your phone?” Nat added.

“A few months now and I don’t know that just how I put it in when we first started talking. I haven’t had time to change it.” Shrugging as if you didn’t drop a bomb on them. 

“I’m hurt for one, you didn’t tell us and two that it’s not with this Barnes!” Tony huffed, crossing his arms frustrated he didn’t figure this out sooner. All the technology in the world and this slipped away from him. 

“You guys are ridiculous, James and I are friends and if Sam was good as snooping he would've known I don’t call him Bucky ever.” Shoving your phone in Sam’s face, showing ‘James 🧸’ contact in your phone. 

“Well he never corrected me, what was I supposed to think!” Sam throws himself on the couch murmuring how his day is ruined. 

“Because I knew you’d look like an idiot after telling everyone,” Bucky sassed feeling proud of himself, mentally adding a tally mark to his Sam vs Bucky board. Sam flips him off before leaving the room, probably figuring out a way to get him back. 

Turning back to everyone else waiting for the interrogation to start but no one pipes up surprisingly. 

“I’ll tell you guys everything you want to know this weekend. Just didn’t want to jinx it, you know.” They all sighed and agreed knowing how the dating world is nowadays. 

“Can’t believe you went and found a different Barnes when I’m when right here doll,” James smirks nudging your shoulder

“Yeah because that was funny the first time you told me”

let me know what you thought! reblogs and comments are appreciated! <3

[faithshouseofchaos]

Welcome to faithshouseofchaos Smutober Fic

Fest and 2k follower celebration + 31 days of Smutober Halloween fics

2 months long

Down below you'll find a list of Drivers/ OC/Hockey players/characters to choose from along with Smut prompts with fic types ex: Sweet tart ropes-"now what would your father do if he found out" + Lemon bars— dads best friend + Strawberry Shortcake -age gap.

I also have fluff prompts along with angst hurt/ comfort that I’ll be adding once I hit 2k (12 followers away) along with angst/hurt and comfort and the other half of my supernatural prompt list that @sweate-r-weathe-r and I will be working on when we have free time.

It's really simple and fun and remember it's October so you know what that means Faiths supernatural F1 au's are back in business for a whole month.

If you have your own idea that's fine too

All fics written will be tagged with faithshouseofchaos Smutober and faithshouseofchaosofchaos 2k celebration

I have two fics that are unrelated to this that I’m currently working on that are for @moss-on-tmblr and @sweate-r-weathe-r !

Alex Albon

Arthur leclerc

Carlos sainz

Charles Leclerc

Caden jones oc

Checo Perez

Daniel ricciardo

Esteban ocon

Fernando Alonso

Franco Colapinto

George Russell

Jenson Button

Jack doohan

Kimi raikkonen

Kevin magnussen

Kaycee Thomas oc

Lando Norris

Lewis Hamilton

Logan Sargent

Lance stroll

Leo Mctavish oc

Max verstappen

Mark webbah

Marc Marquez

Mateo Santiago oc

Nico rosberg

Nico Huelkenberg

Oscar piastri

Pierre gasly

Pato o’ward

Sebastian Vettel

Toto wolff

Valtteri Bottas

Yuki tsunoda

Zhou gaunyu

OC driver pairings

Leo and Max

Kaycee and loscar

Charles and Mateo

Caden and Daniel

Luke Hughes

Jack Hughes

Quinn Hughes

Nico hischier

Trevor Zegras

Jamie Drysdale

andrei svechikov

Spike (btvs)

Angle (btvs)

Lance sweets (bones)

Bo duke (dukes of hazzard)

Luke duke (dukes of hazzard)

Dean Winchester (supernatural)

Sam Winchester (supernatural)

Bucky Barnes (marvel)

Steven grant (marvel)

Marc Spector (marvel)

Tyler Owen’s (twister)

Jake seresin (top gun maverick)

Klaus mikealson (the originals)

Elijah mikealson (the originals)

Creatures

Werewolf

Vampire

Ghost

Ghoul

Which/Warlock

Incubus

Mermaid/man

Shifter (any kind)

Demon

Angel

Human

Type of fic

Dark fic

Smut

Angst

Hurt/comfort

Fluff

Sub!reader

Sub!character

Sub!Driver

Dom!reader

Dom!Character

Dom!Driver

X - reader gender neutral

Fem! X reader

Male! X reader

Driver x driver

Polyamory

Treats/smut prompts

M&M’s — “I'm starving, but I want to eat all of you”

Candy corn— "Never trust a man whose smile steals the breath right from your lungs."

Snickers— “This is wrong.” “So wrong.” While continuing to pull at each other's clothes, mind fogged with nothing but lust and arousal.

Milky Way —"Such a good little pup, aren't you?"

Smarties—"Mark me. Mark me so everyone knows who I belong to."

Skittles —“My little slut to ruin.”

Reese’s Pieces—“I want you. I want you with me, on me, and in me.”

Candy apples —“I’m yours. Only yours.”

Gummy worms —“I hate you so much”

Crunch bars —“I never done this before”

Tootsie rolls —“shhh I got you sweet heart just lie back and let me take care of you”

3 Musketeers — “it’s cold and I’m tired. Can you come keep me warm baby?”

Jaw breakers “you like this don’t you baby? The feeling of my fangs brushing against your neck.”

Jolly rancher — “You’ve never even touched yourself?”

Baby Ruth���“I want you to teach me.”

Peanut Butter cups—“Makes me want to wreck you.”

Almond joys/mounds—“what are you an exhibitionist?”

Airheads— “aww look at you turning into the dumb slut I know you are at the sight of my cock”

Laffy Taffy—“I see the way you stare at my thighs come on darling I know you want to”

KitKats— “don’t be a brat and maybe just maybe I’ll let you cum later”

Twix— “don’t look at me, look in the mirror. look in the reflection at your reflection and you’ll see what I see baby”

Reese’s take five—“Behave, I wouldn’t want to have to punish you now.”

Butter fingers —“Can’t you handle it, baby?” “I can-fuck, I can handle it.”

Starburst —“look at them. See how wrecked they look? Isn’t it something? and it’s all from watching you darlin. They like to watch they get off on it and by the way your reacting I’d say you get of from someone watching you take it like the good boy/girl you are”

Sour patch kids— “Act like a brat and I’ll treat you like a brat.” + “Count them for me.”

Sweet tart ropes—“now what would your father do if he found out”

Nerds— “shhh go back to sleep baby I’ll take care of you”

Milk chocolate —“I’m sorry, what was that? I couldn’t hear you over all the noise you were making.”

Dark chocolate—“I can hear how loud your heart is beating and I must say it’s arousing”

White chocolate —“Do that again- Shit, just like that, right there.”

Vero Mango— “you look so good I could just eat you up but you would like that wouldn’t you?”

Desserts/sides

Chocolate Cake —Interlocking your fingers above your head while making out passionately.

Chocolate chip cookies —hate fucking

Brownies—possessive sex

Red velvet cake —public sex

Chocolate covered pretzels —cockwarming after a long day in order to calm down together

Vanilla cake + chocolate icing —gentle comforting sex

Vanilla flavored ice cream —angry sex in the middle of a fight

Chocolate flavored ice cream — oral sex

Kentucky bourbon cake —exhibition + voyeurism

Banana bread —gentle comforting sex

Blueberry Muffins —marking kink

Lemon bars— dads best friend

Oatmeal raisin Cookies —cardiophilia

Strawberry Shortcake —age gap

S’mores— brat taming

Coffee Cake —Thigh riding

Peanut Butter bars—sugar daddy

Fudge—mirror sex + body worship

Peppermint bark— sleepy domestic sex lol

Cinnamon rolls — period sex

Honey buns —alternative reality

Lava cakes — Vore

Rice crispy treats— Enemies to lovers

Strawberry danish— Workplace rivals

Supernatural prompts optional

Having to chase their werewolf S/O around the city like a loose dog during a full moon. Nothing harmful will happen, just making sure they aren't eating out of garbage cans and breaking public property

"A Shapeshifter? Prove it." "I can turn into you." "I see myself in the mirror every day, do someone cool."

"Have you always had fangs, or have I just not been paying attention?"

"Don't let the black eyes fool you, I'm very gentle."

"Just because I'm not a Winchester, doesn't mean I'm a clueless jackass."

"So, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" "You're not the devil."

B is a human who told all their friends that they have a vampire significant other. This, of course, is a lie, so they seek out A and beg them to date them so that B won’t be seen as a liar.

“Did it hurt when I fell from heaven?” “That’s . . . that’s not how that line works”

B has had no luck with dating, so A claims that it’s their purpose to get B a partner and they teach B how to flirt.

“Did . . . did you just call me ‘angel’? Like a pet name?”

“It’s kinda comforting to know that there’s someone up there looking over me” “Oh we’re not looking over people. People are boring”

“No ones ever answered my prayers before” “I’m the first one to listen”

“Look at me, you’re not a monster”

“If the cure doesn’t work, will you still love me?”

So do you howl at the moon ?

I am not a homosexual. i am a heterosexual werewolf, [name], who fucks around with other guys

you smell like a wet dog.

i just saw you turn into a giant dog

Character A to Incubus “So are you responsible for my sex dreams at night?” Character B “No that’s all you. You’re a very horny person”

“You're not gonna turn me into a frog?” Character A asks Character B whose a witch

“Can you talk to fish?” Character A asks Character B “what?” Character B asks “well I figured since you’re half fish you can talk to them”

“You're not gonna eat me are you?” Character A asks character B “no i'm not gonna eat you. Unless you want me to eat you”

“Keep your filthy paws off my mate”

“You're not gonna sing a song and sink our boat and kill me are you?” Character A says to the mermaid/merman character B “No. I’m not that type of mermaid/merman”

Welcome to faithshouseofchaos 2k celebration

Sweet tooth/fluff/comfort

Cow tails— “here I figured you were hungry so I made your favorite food”

Blow pops — “you did this all for me oh baby you shouldn’t have”

Dum-Dums “I can help you with that…you know”

Milk duds — "We could just stay like this, cuddling all day, if you want."

Cotton candy—"I know you're struggling right now, and it's okay, okay? We'll get through this."

Sweet tarts — “what did I do to deserve you?”

Swiss rolls —making someone's comfort meal after a long day

Twinkies— staying in bed all day

Zebra cakes — losing a loved one

Nutty buttery’s — acts of service that make your partner happy and loved

Cosmic brownies— picnic date

Ding-Dongs— adopting a pet together

Fluff prompts to choose from

List of “I ain't gonna lie, it's a real weird time for stars to align; last place I would think I would start to fall, I guess I'll call it lowkey meant to be” prompts  by dumplingsjinson

Established relationships

cruel ways to push someone away

Reason for there to only be one bed

one bed trope the morning after

your blushing prompts

saying I love you without saying I love you

Careful or I will fall for you

physical affection prompts

subtle physical affection

different ways to kiss someone part one

part two part three

Kissing details

Spicy romance prompt

angst prompts

Angry confessions

Angsty romance

Reactions to making someone cry

I want you pinning prompts

Like a moth to a flame prompt

enemies to lovers

Angry love confessions

hurt/comfort

Exs to lovers

stay prompts

still prompts

[sageispunk]

Kinktober 2023

inspired from @flightlessangelwings promptlist <333

banner by @the-purity-pen !!!

this is my first kinktober so i hope it goes as planned, each fic will have it's own individual warnings so be sure to read through those (and my blog guidelines) before proceeding!! if you enjoy any of these, please like and reblog!!! my masterlist is here :3 (**- missed but will come back to)

DAY 1: love bites + overstim + impact play 

DAY 2: bath/shower

DAY 3: exhibitionism (joel miller x reader)

DAY 4: sex pollen + thigh riding + forced orgasm (max phillips x reader)

DAY 5: table sex + sensory deprivation + threesome (steve rodgers/bucky barnes x reader)

DAY 6: sexting/phone sex (matt murdock x reader)

DAY 7: slow and soft + spanking (javier peña x reader) **

DAY 8: temp play (joel miller x reader)

DAY 9: pegging (frankie morales x reader)

DAY 10: stripping + anal + double penetration (frankie morales/santi garcia x reader) **

DAY 11: seduction + blindfold (tommy miller x reader) **

DAY 12: gun play (joel miller x reader)

DAY 13: body worship + being recorded (frank castle x reader) **

DAY 14: tit/nipple play (benny miller x reader)

Week Two -- updated the list (10/14) to make it a lil easier for me

DAY 15: against wall + size kink + free use (richie j x reader)

DAY 17: praise kink + rimming (dieter bravo x reader)

DAY 18: masturbation + squirting (joel miller x reader)

DAY 19: voyeurism + handjob + somno (santiago garcia x reader)

DAY 21: hate sex + piercings (bucky barnes x reader)

Week Three

DAY 23: dirty talk + begging (javi pena x reader)

DAY 24: lingerie + edging (dieter bravo x reader)

DAY 25: mirror sex + breeding (sam wilson x reader)

DAY 26: face sitting + deepthroating + choking (richie j x reader)

DAY 28: intercrural sex + blowjobs (tommy miller x reader)

Week Four

DAY 29: fingering + gagging + creampie (frank castle x reader)

DAY 30: cunnilingus + breathplay (santiago garcia x reader)

DAY 31: FREE SPACE (will be updated hehe 😉)

[destieltropecollection]

2023 SUBMISSION TIME HAS ARRIVED - I AM AFTER YOUR FICS!

The Destiel Trope Collection is a SELF-REC collection for destiel fanfic full of tropes. Every year the list is voted for by you and the highest voted gets listed for the 31 days of May. If you have any questions, please ask!

Below (the readmore) is a list of the tropes that will be included in this year’s collection (all voted by you peeps!).

SUBMIT YOUR FICS HERE

WHAT CAN YOU SEND?

Completed fic? YES

Work In Progress? YES (if currently being updated)

Old fics? YES

New fics? YES

Fics written specifically for this collection? YES

Short fics? YES (over 1k words)

Long fics? YES (no max word count)

10 fics? YES

1 fic? YES

WHAT CAN’T YOU SEND?

A fic that wasn’t written by you - if you co-authored it, then that’s fine as long as you have permission of your co-author to submit it

A fic shorter than 1,000 words. Due to a popular result on the feedback form, the minimum word count is 1k.

The same fic several times in several tropes. A single fic is only allowed in one list, so, if it fits in several, pick the best one, or draw straws (up to you).

See the full rules and submission guidelines here

SCHEDULE

1st January 2023 - Submissions open

25th April 2023 - Submissions close

1st May 2023 - Day 1 of the Trope Collection Posts

1st June 2023 - Masterpost goes up

QUESTIONS?

Send a message or IM to @destieltropecollection!

THE LIST

Day 1 | Roommates

Day 2 | S15 Fix-It’s

Day 3 | Kid Fics

Day 4 | Mutual Pining

Day 5 | Magical/Fantasy

Day 6 | Hurt/Comfort

Day 7 | Angst With A Happy Ending

Day 8 | Case Fic

Day 9 | Sam Ships It

Day 10 | Canon Divergent

Day 11 | Discovering One’s Sexuality/Coming of age

Day 12 | Love confessions

Day 13 | BDSM

Day 14 | First Responder AU

Day 15 | Everyone Knows But Them

Day 16 | Two Person Love Triangle

Day 17 | Friends to Lovers

Day 18 | Accidental Marriage

Day 19 | Bed Sharing

Day 20 | Soulmate

Day 21 | Drunken Confessions (in vino veritas)

Day 22 | Domestic

Day 23 | Slow Burn

Day 24 | Firsts

Day 25 | Enemies to Lovers

Day 26 | Fluff

Day 27 | Omegaverse

Day 28 | Canon Compliant

Day 29 | Friends With Benefits

Day 30 | Wing Fic

Day 31 | Fake Dating

[starsandhughes]

things that happened in the nhl today (that i’m aware of) (tuesday, november 28)

1. racist rapist team (bl*ckhawks) are covering up yet another scandal over corey perry. he's on waivers with the purpose of contract termination. the gm said it didn't involve anything with players/their families. reporters are more mad about this than they've ever been on much more pressing issues (team canada, sa coverups, etc)

2. anthony beauvillier traded to the racist rapists in exchange for a fifth round pick in the 2024 draft. the girlies are not taking this well.

3. p*trick k*ne signed with the red wings, which elated everyone (i don't follow any red wings fans so i didn't see any of their reactions) (sorry about y'all's lives)

4. mitch marner got hit in the face with a puck and played the rest of the game with a cage

5. sam bennet and max domi threw hands, bennet destroyed domi, domi shook his hair with his hands probably to make fun of bennet for being bald

6. tz and dixie breakup rumors on the same day that alex killorn confirmed that they were dating on spittin chiclets on their new episode

7. john marino cut his hair and i’m pretty sure dawson mercer did too

8. zack macewen on the senators got fined $2,018.23, the max allowed by the cba for unsportsmanlike misconduct against matthew tkachuk last night (utter bullshit imo. he literally attacked him)

9. lian bichel (texas stars player, ahl affiliate of the dallas stars) decided to exercise his right to return to sweeden

10. radko gudas day-to-day with a lower-body injury (this is not good for the ducks)

11. devils made a sick third period comeback from being down 4-2. brenden smith threw hands with anders lee. lee left bloody. then with 22.1 seconds left in the fourth, curtis lazar scored and they won 5-4

12. the leafs and the panthers went into a shootout. three rounds wasn't enough, so they went into a fifth. the panthers' evan rodrigues scored, so the panthers went off to the locker room. upon review, the goal was waved off because it was a rebound goal and players are not allowed to double tap during a shootout. the panthers had to be called back out for a sixth round and the leafs' noah gregor won the game

13. oilers and vgk also went into a shootout. oilers won it in three. the oilers played against vgk in round two of the playoffs last season, and the leafs played against the panthers in round two of the playoffs. this means that both teams that got eliminated in round two won in a shootout tonight against the team that knocked them out

and the night isn't over!

[honey-crypt]

HONEY-CRYPT'S DISABILITY PRIDE MONTH WRITE-A-THON

RULES

01. i have a max of 31 slots available for requests so once i hit 31, i will close my inbox for this event (you can submit requests for stuff outside the event, just know that i won’t complete them until after the conclusion of the event)

02. don’t spam requests

03. please specify if you want a fic or headcanons or a drabble; i automatically put them in drabble/bc if there’s no specification

04. be patient with me after you submit your request, i’m disabled and dealing with a reoccurrence of gastritis from failed drug therapy so i can’t just produce your request within a day

05. reblogs are appreciated but not necessary! in the event you do, tag it with honey crypt disability pride month write-a-thon

MASTERLIST

01. the sdv bachelor/ettes with a farmer who has vitiligo

02. sebastian helping adhd!farmer through their rejection dysphoria

03. shane with a farmer who has absence seizures

04. haley helping a farmer with ptsd and anxiety

05. arthritis!farmer

06. elliott, sam, and alex with an infertile farmer

07. sdv bachelors with a farmer who age regresses due to ptsd

08. sdv bachelor/ettes with a stimming farmer

09. harvey with a farmer who has cerebral palsy (spastic left hemiplegia)

10. sdv bachelors with a farmer who's prone to mirgaines

11. sdv bachelors with a farmer who has bpd

12. harvey caring for an epileptic farmer

13. elliott, haley, and sam with a medically complex (pots/eds/adhd) farmer

14. the sdv bachelors with a farmer suffering from postpartum depression

15. elliott with an autistic!farmer who’s easily exhausted

16. sdv bachelor/ettes with a cerebral palsy!farmer honoring her twin brother's life (farmer oc by @harveys-lovely-wife)

17. sdv bachelor/ettes with a farmer who has major mood swings

18. sebastian with a farmer who has chronic vertigo

19. sdv bachelor/ettes with a farmer who has an eating disorder

20. elliott caring for a farmer who’s a cane user

21. elliott with a hearing of hard/deaf!farmer

22. sdv bachelor/ettes with a farmer who experiences noise sensitivity

23. farmer with sciatica

24. sam with an amputee!farmer

25. harvey, sam, and shane with a farmer who has a feeding tube

26. elliott with a deaf!farmer who was a musician

27. harvey and elliott with a farmer who has social anxiety

28. sdv bachelor/ettes with a farmer who has rsd (rejection sensitivity dysphoria)

29. elliott with a farmer who frequently faints

30. sdv bachelors with an ocd!farmer

31.

[the-sword-lesbian]

Thoughts on the Arcadia Gays' Stardew Valley playstyle and who would be Best Girl for each of them?

Allllllright LiS plays Stardew Valley let’s go!

You said Arcadia Gays but I plan to do more as well so let’s get into it!

Chloe: primarily focuses on combat and mining and only really grows enough to cover favors/gifts at first but then gets really into cooking and expands the farming a bit more for ingredience. Favored relationships: Maru because fellow science nerd, Abigail because fellow adventure enthusiast, Penny because she reminds Chloe of Max. Platonic besties with Sam.

Max: terrible at keeping any crops alive so she mostly focuses on exploring, foraging, and some fishing when she gets the hang of it. Favored relationships: Abigail because she reminds Max of Chloe, Penny because she reminds Max of Kate, Sam because skater boys are cute, Leah because aloof artist girl she keeps bumping into in the woods while foraging.

Kate: Animal husbandry out the wazoo. Especially coop animals, especially rabbits. But she adores her chickens, dogs, and cats. Not super good at fishing and a bit too nervous to delve too deep in the mines. Favored relationships: Haley! Because she’s the exact same brand of “I can fix her” pretty artistic meangirl that Kate falls for every time. Penny because she can relate too much to her.

Rachel: Miss “stop at nothing” perfectionist won’t settle for anything less than hundred percenting this game. She does it all and just for the sake of getting everything she romances everyone to be a shit disturber and to get the group events. After unlocking and completing the island she will literally just log into the game and stand on the beach for whole days. Favored Relationships: Abigail because she can really relate to the feelings of being stuck in the mold that your parents want for you. Emily because she’s fun. Leah because she’s hot. Alex because a big dumb cute footballer is fun. Sam because skater boys are cute.

Victoria: playing not just the vanilla game but stardew valley expanded as well. She tries to max out all the questlines and do good at the festivals. Favored romances: Sophia because she can’t not date the cute anime nerd. Olivia because hot MILF. Leah because who wouldn’t? And very specifically NOT Haley because “god who would ever deal with all that negging elitist bs??”

Bonus rounds!!

Courtney: terrifyingly invested in this game. Has more money than you thought the UI would actually show. Beat the whole game and is now in it entirely for the aesthetic builds and collecting every clothing item. Wears a different outfit every day. Favored relationships: none by design but has romanced every romanceable character just to have done it. Gets along best with Emily though.

Taylor: Bought the game because she saw Victoria playing it. Romanced Haley and did nothing else.

Steph: All around consistent player. Likes adventuring the most. Also playing a modded version. Favored relationships: Abigail because she likes the ttrpg and adventuring parts of her character. Leah because she ticks a lot of Steph’s boxes. Emily because she’s fun. She tried to romance Haley but got tired of the negging. Sophia because of course. She also installed a mod that made Sebastian transfemme to romance.

Warren/Lauren: Made a girl character, loves the game but plays in secret. Has romanced 11 out of the 12 dateable characters.

Alex: likes the fishing and adventuring. Has a few animals. Favored relationships: Abigail, Sam, and Seb because fellow musicians/nerds. Penny because she’s just so sweet! Harvey because he’s a nice guy. Emily because she’s so much fun and so positive. She also romanced Leah and it gave her gay feelings about Char so she avoids that romance now.

Riley: one part mining nerd, one part beekeeper. Has grown all the flowers and has a textbook perfect garden/apiary arrangement. Favored relationships: Maru because fellow science and robotics nerd! Abigail and Leah because she thinks they’re both cute.

[magicaloctopus333]

12 days of sam and max- 2 turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree

[valdez-my-love]

"Unsteady" Playlist

(fanfiction) Marc Spector x fem! OC

[ my works in Polish are available on Wattpad ValdezMyLove and in English on Wattpad VenniLanRosie]

PLAYLIST

Songs that I associate with the characters or were I listening to them when I was writing the chapters ;)

01. unsteady - x ambassadors

02. unstoppable - sia

03. god is a woman - ariana grande

04. middle of the night - elley duhé

05. take you to hell - ava max

06. day 'n' nite - kid cudi

07. enemy - imagine dragons

08. girls like you - maroon 5

09. ready for it? - taylor swift

10. play with fire - sam tinnesz ft yatch money

11. my demons - starset

12. getaway car - taylor swift

13. a man without love - engelbert humperdinck

14. love me land - zara larsson

15. infinity - jaymes young

16. in the name of love - martin garrix ft bebe rexha

17. rise - ashes remain

18. monsters - ruelle

19. arcade - duncan laurence

20. just a kiss - boyce avenue, megan nicole

[fictionalpresidentelection]

Welcome to the Fictional President Election!

In this tournament, I will pit famous fictional presidents of the United States or fictionalized versions of real presidents against each other to decide who should be elected the official Tumblr President (of the United States). This tournament isn’t meant to be taken seriously, and I picked some rather ridiculous candidates for the election. Also check out my other ongoing tournament, @bisexual-monarch-tournament

Here are the brackets and candidates for the election:

Round 1:

Group A:

1. JFK (Clone High) vs. Merkin Muffley (Dr. Strangelove)

2. Abe Lincoln (Clone High) vs. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter)

3. Jamie Foxx (The movie where Jamie Foxx was president) vs. Morgan Freeman (The movie where Morgan Freeman was president)

4. Theodore Roosevelt (Night at the Museum) vs. Theodore Roosevelt (Epic Rap Battles of History)

Group B:

5. Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho (Idiocracy) vs. Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons)

6. Insane Clown Posse (Homestuck) vs. Max (Sam and Max: Abe Lincoln Must Die)

7. Domald Tromp (Chuck Tingle) vs. Kevin James (Pixels)

8. Richard Nixon’s Head (Futurama) vs. Richard Nixon (Black Dynamite)

Group C:

9. Funny Valentine (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Steel Ball Run) vs. Thomas J. Whitmore (Independence Day)

10. Richard Martinez (Cory in the House) vs. President Hathaway (Monsters vs. Aliens)

11. Miku Binder Jefferson vs. Harrison Ford (Air Force One)

12. Solidus Snake (Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty) vs. Selina Meyer (Veep)

Group D:

13. President Curtis (Rick and Morty) vs. Betty Boop (Betty Boop for President)

14. President Sir Lord Quentin Trembley III, Esq. (Gravity Falls) vs. Josiah Barlet (The West Wing)

15. Coriolanus Snow (The Hunger Games) vs. George Washingtoad (The Super Mario Bros. Super Show)

16. ROBOTUS (Inside Job) vs. Lex Luthor (DC Comics)

I hope everyone enjoys this tournament! The first round will start sometime soon (possibly tomorrow). Let me know who you want to win in the comments!

[popculturebuffet]

Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse Retrospective Part 1: The Penal Zone Review (Patreon Review for WeirdKev)

Hello all you happy psychic lagomorphs and welcome back! For those just tuning in last year I started a look at the Telltale Sam and Max Games. Kev, who comissioned these reviews, is a massive fan, bought me a copy and over 12 months, a lot of fun nonsense and some other sam and max reviews I too became a massive fan of this not all that ambigiously gay duo. You can find the previous retrospectives here

So it's been a while since we've seen our faviorite not really all that ambigiously gay duo of sam and max on this blog. There hasn't been a review since What's New Beelzebub as the intended plan of reviewing various episodes of Freelance Police gave way to other projects Kev wanted to use his patreon review for. On the bright side I did get to at least draw the two when we did a top 12 wedding's list a while back.

But otherwise it was mostly spent doing other stuff while waitingpaitently for Sam and Max to arrive. Hell the book seen in this little joke the book of bill both came out AND I reviewed it before we finally got to the Devil's Playhouse.

The reason is simple. For this retrospective i've been using the remasters done by Skunkape games, as until just last month, the switch was my only modern platform and the easiest way to play them, so kev got my copies there. I didn't have a way to play the original and even if I did... I prefer the consistency of having played the remasters for all three and on the same console. It allows me to track what's improved between games and remasters a lot easier.

So I simply waited mildly patiently. While it was a nearly year long wait after promised release dates of last fall and this spring, I dont' hold it against Skunkape in the slightest. I'd rather they take a good long time making the best remaster possible than rush one out no one likes or has to be patched constantly. There's also the simple fact that having a game day and date launch on all consoles.. is a lot. It just is. They have to map buttons for three consoles, convert the game to the console layout three times over and generally do a LOT of shit and that's before getting approved. IT's why i'm no longer a dick about something not getting ported to switch right away: it sucks, but it takes time to do it and Steam is an easier platform. So i'm just greatful Skunkape put in the hard work to make sure I could play the game day one.

Speaking of Skunkape it's time I do something long overdue and talk about SKunkape themselves. It's something I Should've done upfront and callously didn't think to, but at least fits given the namesake for the company debuts in this chapter. I only read their history recently but it's a neat one you can find on their website.

Skunkape Games came out of the ashes of Telltale Games, ironically starting for the same reasons Telltale once had: the publisher that made sam and max was imploding and someone had to take care of it. I had assumed Skunkape was behind the other telltale remasters but to my shock no... while that company gladly helped them on a few logistical things, Skunkape was formed by several founding telltale members who worked on this game for one reason: To Save Sam and Max. With the company falling apart they wanted to make sure someone not only kept the licensees but helped keep the games out there. So they bought it up.

Originally the plan was to just patch the games as was, maybe relrease them. But a combination of the old code being built on an old engine that was long since dead, and thinking of so many ways to spice the games up they decided fuck it, and have since dedicated themselves to remastering all 3 games in the telltale trilogy. I wanted to go into this as it's thanks to them I can even do this: The remasters are what I played and thanks to them everyone can enjoy these stellar games for themselves. It's also a stern reminder that

Has always been a terrible strategy. When someone else has it they'll.. actually do something, you get a tidy check, and fans will stop pestering you to do something with it like you should've. Skunkape is proof if you just give the people who created a thing (or in this case an adaptation of the thing), the rights, they'll make sure said thing is kept safe instead of locked in a vault for pennies. I may be just a touch bitter can you tell. But this story... is thankfully not that.

So with all that out of the way, join me under the cut as we open the final chapter as our heroes fight aliens.. for real this time, we find out how the heck Max is still president, and can rejoice that the soda poppers are fucking dead.

Devil's Playhouse begins.. with a narrator

Yeah we have a narrrator now, a weird wrinkly faced man with a rod serling flair who talks about the dark imaginings we're about to face and such. And having been spoiled on this long ago let me say two things 1) If you don't know you won't possibly guest and 2) what he actually is is a brilliant twist I won't spoil. I'll nudge at the two big spoilers I do know, but if your reading this since you can't play the games for whatever reasons. Let's just say it's wild.

Anyways we jump right in the middle of the story's climax: Sam and Max are trying to stop the evil general Skunk'ape, but i'll just spell it skunkape from taking over the earth in his giant braniac-styled face ship. The intro is fun as while Beyond Time and Space's "Night of the Raving Dead" had this sort of weird flash forward this time you not only get to play it, but it serves a vital purpose: introducing the new gameplay mechanics.

The first two games were largely the same, with Beyond Time and Space only really adding mini games, most of which were forgetable except that motherfucking surfboard may it rot in hell, which are thankfully absent from this game. Just like the soda poppers as while death is not the end in the sam and max universe, theirs thankfully stuck. And.. just give me a moment to celebrate

Okay i'm good. Anyways my point is the games largely pointed and clicked the same way, with a few quality of life adjustments in Beyond Time and Space.

While the core gameplay is largely the same, pionting and clicking, asking questions, going to a guide on occasion when the puzzle is obtuse and the hints are not remotely helpful, there's one big wrinkle that helps spice up Devil's Playhouse: The Toys of Power. The Toys of Power are the mysterious macguffins at the center of this story, which only a few chosen indviduals with the right potetial for psychic powers can wield. Lucky for us and a defcon five for everyone who isn't sam and also possibly sam, MAX is the one who can. So this go round you can play BOTH freelance police. Sam only has the toys as his inventory, but said powers vary up the puzzle solving. You still use items a lot, but sometimes you'lll have to think how they combine with whatever toys you got. Chapter 1 largely leaves you with the future vision, in the form of a view master that allows you to seeee the fuuuuttuuuree and a toy telephone that can teleport you to any number you have memorized but I also got to try some cards that I forgot what they do and some rhinoplasty putty, silly puttiy in a nose that allows you to transform into objects in this intro.

Along the way we found out the guys befriended a brain, stinky is skunkape's queen and harry moleman is going through some stuff.

So we end by throwing Skunkape into the titular penal zone by throwing a homing beacon onto him and sucking him into a hideous void.

And with that we snap back to reality op there goes gravity as it turns out this was max SEEEING THE FUUUTURE.

Rather than start where the game does let's go back a few seconds before we were all caught up: Sam and Max are outside their building, with it being condemend due to massive cracks in the pavement left from the last game. It's been 6 months and max picks up the haunted viewmaster off the ground and thus awakens his psychic powers. Sam's reactions about what you'd expect

Said power give him a grisly version of the future.. and Sam.. somehow. So our heroes know not to trust Skunkape when he arrives soon after.

Skunkape is a gorillia man from space whose come seeking the toys.. and even if they hadn't had a vision of them fighting him, our heroes kidna got the impression from his creepy ship. He came to meet our heroes since Max is leader of the free world which he admits after a great joke about there being many great nations and oh no one's present.

We also get an explination for HOW Max is still president given his 80 impeachment trials, war crimes and general jackassery. The answer is he hired Jimmy Two Teeth and friends to spread a plauge that brought his numbers up because Max actually knows how to manage a pandemic.

Somehow Max being good at crisis managment isn't the only shocker. Turns out this whole time this trilogy, and likely sam and max as a whole has been set in new york. Yes really. HOme of the x-men, the teenage mutant ninja turtles, the teen titans for a while in the 80s, The Fantastic Four and countless others, is also home to Sam and Max. I Assumed they just were housed in some generic new york like city like the tick. This is of course a big joke as the bulk of each chapter takes place on some nondiscprit street but it's a good one.

So circling back around, Jimmy's exit is one of MANY this game. In addition to the soda poppers who are dead.. which.. again need a moment

Thank you, so anyways bittersweetly after 2 games as a mainstay, if in and out of the second, Sybil is gone and will only return for the finale, having an extended honeymoon with that bastard lincoln. Lincoln is also gone and for my thoughts on that please look up at the happy muk thank you.

Much more sadly Bosco is gone and as far as I know does not come back. This is a huge blow as he was one of the funneist parts of both games, and while like Sybil he had a reduced role in the second, he was still great. He's gone to Vegas with an even bigger loss.. Buster Blaster

Yes while I've heard, i'm so thankful for this spiler he'll be back.. Bluster Blaster is sadly gone for most of this adventure. Why.. I have no idea. He could split from the COPS and still show up. Fate is a cruel bitch sometimes I swears its. I'll try to go on but it's rough.

That said while I will MISS Sybil's, whose poseesisons are now in boxes outside her store thanks to our heroes and Bosco's... it was the right call. They clearly ran out of ideas for Sybil's place after the first game and her arc with lincoln makes me want to wretch, so her taking most of the game off is needed and with Bosco they probably just felt they had way more they could do with his replacement while also giving us a fresh setting.

That said even with all these shakeups who helps our heroes is about the same as Stinky's Diner and the COPS return.

Let's give it to the COPS first as their a pretty big change as they've joined our heroes.. even though Sam and Max would prefer they move out. After most of the block was shut down, they let the cops move into their car and they haven't left, but their now working as a crime computer, though their only able to do it once the dynamic duo find Sally, an old crime analyizer in some garbage. They add in another gimmick: crime anaysis pop in evidence and you'll get a clue, popping in two gets you a new location as your new way to unlock new locations. While ti can be frustrating doing it againd and again till you get a match, it's a fun more engaging way to open up new places.

As for STinky's things aren't going great for either stinky. Girl Stinky is mad Stinky is back and made the restraunt hav ea coherent theme again, and Stinky is mad she won't let him commit serial murders via food. He's also mad the duo stole his recipie last game, something I did't think was going to come back but did.

It also brings up something I noticed about the writing that's a vast improvement over the previous game: the tone is a LOT less cruel. oh there' sstill some black comedy as we'll get to, we still do some awful stuff.. but it's tone back down to save the world's less over the top cruelty. You still do awful shit, but it's less spiteful and more just our heroes being who they are and the targets, at least so far, tend to either get saved or are less terrible.

Stinky won't give us his broth and turns out we need it as inspecting the ship we use the viewmaster on the brain who thanks us. And this is another neat feature and one badly needed: the seeing the future.. means you get a clue about where to go. Granted they won't tell you HOW you solved the puzzle, as that'd be too easy, but generally it tells you what you need to do. It can be ocasoinally opaque as flint paper whose eating at the diner gets a hatchet to the head and given his constitution and this series approach to death in general I assumed it wasn't a big deal. Turns out we need to save our old friend whose looking for mama bosco's power core. We need that and the broth.

Naturally this involves a bunch of puzzles I only vaugely remember, but mostly involves getting everyone out of there so we can use Stinky's secret entrance and get that sweet broth. That's going to take, as usual a lot of moving around so we need to visit our last area. via flier and some other stuff we're able to get our first location, boscotech labs.

Boscotech Labs is our new go to get gadgets place since the COPS changed gimmicks and Bosco took all of Sam and Max's money to vegas.. that's.. that's canon. He left with all the money from the first adventure he still had left.

I was a bit antsy about Mama Bosco as a replacment because her one real gag in the previous game was straw feminist

Thankfully this game and likely several decades and being turned into a ghost she's more a mildly sarcastic, as she knwos what she's dealing with, but kindly scientest. She's also still a ghost after Sam and Max blew her up real good last game. Again the contrast is just staggering. Here the worst we're doing is stealing her power core.. which even then is to save an innocent creatre and the planet. She can probably build another to power her "I'm not a ghost anymore machine" and would likely give it if she was aware skunkape was evil. We've come a long way from "condemming a child to hell to move the plot along" and i'm here fo rit.

We do get one her of devices and more importantly run into her univnited guest: harry moleman. Harry is here because he wants a job and instead of asking for it just.. tunneled in. So I don't feel bad for the attrocities we're about to commit. Earlier our heroes found out that molemen are getting sent into a processing chamber on skunkape's ship via a free vacation ticket scam leaving us with one of those and a helmet.

Thanks to seeing the future, we can see the lottery ticket harry has will win an dtrade it for the vacation pass. He leaves to his doom and somehow.. this is still not only the worst our duo gets up to this episode.. but is still not as bad. Harry was being a dip, and while we cost him a million dollars it's going to Grandpa Stinky, who we horribbly wronged last time. He's getting it for entirely self serving reasons sure, but it's still a bit easier to swallow.

So with all the items it's time to get everything. The broth is easy, just give grandpa stinky the lottery ticket, he forgives you and he's gone. Next is flint who we give a helmet as Girl Stinky is trying to murder him. And not just in the obvious way his foods laced with peanuts, which he has an allergy to. Which is a great payoff and proves my instinct was right: you really CAN'T kill flint paper with a hatchet to the skull.

This does lead me to something I like about this chapter and another improvment over the other games: the difficulty. With the previous two, ESPECIALLY beyond time and space, I had to use a guide often... or if I was running behind. This time, I largely winged it. I'll need to take better notes next time to remember order of events, as things are a bit tighter this go round, and frankly should've for the last game, but otherwise this experince was easier but not painfully easy. Ther'es a lot of clever solutions to the puzzles often involving max's ability to teleport he gets after this stretch.

With that we simply have to call stinky, getting her private number from the future, then calling her. She thinks we're skunkape who she's kinda dating? It's complicated. This gets rid of her , we get sally from her underground passage and get the core from said passage.

With that we can finally ressurect the brain in a jar, a fairly nice fellow whose willing to help. He's been used by Skunkape as his proxy since while having psychic powers himself, as his origin video telltale put out outlines he was an abused outcast on his own planet who when fired from his job threw a tantrum and got a piece of rebar in his head that unlocked his powers and conquered the planet., he can't use the toys and it also makes it clear max is in terrible danger. It's kinda telling every villian's big evil scheme relies on max in some way.

Brain guy is also a lot of fun, especially how skunkape got him as he claimed to be a nice stranger and when Max points out how stupid that is, we get the all time line of "HE SAID HE HAD CANDY".

The good news is brain guy waking up actually made skunkape run aground, as it's clear his story wouldn't hold up with witnesses who aren't rabbits of questionable character. The bad is we need to find him. The gooder news is Superball is now not only on our side for a change but has the cure: turns out Skunkapes a fugitive from the law having escaped the penal zone.

So we need to send him back to the penal zone for hard time. We need his beacon and his remote... but first the brain forces us to use teleport because he wants to see it so we can't go investigate the mole murder room. It's unecessary backtracking and it annoys me.

SO my first teleport was naturally mama bosco as she created a remote. Unfortuntaely doing so gets max strangled by an ape

While I simply teleported him out turns out you need to stand on the flag above Boscotech, teleport max in and have the ape fall on top of the ape guarding the place

As for why they went in there and took over, Mama Bosco naturally has the solution to their problems, a one use one way teleport to the wang place.

Next is the badge. Getting this was something I simply didn't think of but how you do so is great. First you need to check out the mole murder room: Turns out Skunkape is sweating moles... TO DEATH.

Going in nearly gets you killed and your possesions dumped out..s o you need to do it to Grandpa Stinky. Thankfully he was very stupid with the money he won thanks to you giving it to Skukape and insults both our heroes when they fake wanting to enlist, with Sam ready to murder him and Grandpa Stinky VERY lucky he's so short and dose'nt have any knives... though if he wakes up in a future chapter with a butcher knive in his head I won't be suprised.. nor will I when he comes to work anyway.

No to beat him you need to piss off max then teleport everyone to the murder chamber after leaving Girl Stinky's cell phone in there. You can find it by going there and it's the key to many a puzzle. I also almost forgot to mention the reason for our title picture and the best scene in the chapter: when you teleport hte first time we get a surreal mindscape of maxes.. and .. this

So while we're scarred for life we can teleport baby. Skunkape gave Grandpa Stinky the beacon as a badge as leader of his massive fleet and as a convient skapegoat. So to get it we have to piss max off. As said Max's short height means that won't be as bloody as you'd expect, but it does mean going back to the death room where Grandpa Stinky learns the awful truth... he's a frycook.. 8th class!

Disgusted he got conned out of his millions Stinky leaves, having saved us and we get the badge and his stuff including a meesta pizza shot glass. This brings up a running gag I hadn't mentioned in the previous two as while I loved it , it was rarely plot relevant: Sam could use the phone in the office to call up meesta pizza, with no one answering. It always struck me as just some weird gag he was doing and I never assumed anything was on the other line. But low in behold... IT EXISTS...

And we get to VISIT IT. Sadly it's not a fully rendered location but to find Skukape we follow his trail using the shot glass and a recepit we found earlier to go to meesta pizza, where Girl Stinky and Him had a romantic date and some light indgjesticion. Our heroes can go inside which I like, as even if we can't I love Sam's jolly love of food places that are objectively terrible. I relate to it you know? Sometimes you just want a pile of grease you don't have to pay a mortgage for you know?

It's here we get one of the few puzzles that's just... what the fuck is this. Most of my getting stuck in this part of the story is simply not thinking to use my new powers. IN this one though.. it relies on you putting an engagment ring you find earlier on a pizza box so a pidgeon can eat it.

It gets up on the roof we get the ring back and we're happy. You can also use the ring for proposal shenanigans which I wish i'd done more of. Doing it to max nets you a hilaroius diamonds are forever parody add. Dated? Yes. Hilarous? Yes. Gay as hell? HELL YES. I also like that the gay jokes have evolved from HAHA queers to "eh sam would enjoy it but decides not to right now". That's more my speed.

So we track skunkape to a toy store he went to.. only to get trapped! Skunkape arrives with his henchman and Girl Stinky

So we're back about where we started. We convince Girl Stinky to accept her role as Skuknapes concubine. Apparently even when self preservation is on the line she's still awful.. but once she finds that finally someone will let her out of her cage since time for her ins't nothing and she ain't counting no age, she agrees.

And then..... we get a hell of a twist: Turns out while we were captured, Skunkape used the viewfinder.. and thus SAW how his defeat would playout and wisely removed the two toys you swiped in the intro. He then sends our heroes to the penis place and our heroes have to escape. Thankfully we can just.. casually teleport out of danger, but it leaves the threat of the giant ape man shooting at us with his big space ship. I do love this twist.. that you saw how it WOULD'VE playe dout.. but the very thing that gave you a leg up leaves you twisting in the wind.

We got to boscotech as Mama Bosco pulls us out , working closely with superball. The bad news is the escape collapsed the penal zone. The good is they can make another. The worse is our heroes wil lhave to give up their office and frakly.. I really miss it. I miss the trophies and it's sad to know I won't see the piling trophies from past chapters ever again. Also Leonard's probably dead but given he was stuck in an abandoned building for 6 months with no food or air he probably was anyway.

So for our final showdown we need to plug her portal thing into a big enough power source which means we're going deepr underground there's just too much panic in this town. It's here we go into a secret entrance and find MORE MOLES... and also a cult. Sadly no lambs and weirdly max isn't leading it this time. But he is their christ figure as the prophecy fortold him getting the toys and his head lighting on fire. Sure he's fine.

Turns out their a splitner who worships the devil's toybox, a powerful box and where the toys of power came from which max is the chosen one for. It makes a handy power source though and with skunkape blasting in we're able to open the all new all diffrent dong depot and suck him in... after making it nice and sweaty of course. Phrasing.

With that our heroes have won, the universe is saved... but the narrator warns we still have a cliffhanger.. OUR HEROES SKELETONS!

The Penal Zone is one of the best sam nad max chapters i've played so far and a great start for the Penal Zone. This feels like the best of both previous games, having save the world's still irrevernt but less cruel humor mixed with the refinements from beyond time and space, and then adding it's own flair. While the toy puzzles can be complex, they add a lot more variety than just "get the thing use the thing" now using the things in new ways, the joke writing is at the top of it's game and the game itself looks crips and gorgeous in the remaster. You can also already see the more seralized story I heard this game has creeping in: we get tons of omnius hints for max, and rather than the mystery of the last two of "whose behind it all", which is barely threaded through both and only fullyc omes together in the last chapter, here we get a bunch of mysteries and plot threads up front: where does the devil's toybox come from, why is max the chosen one, can anyone else use the toys, why are skeletons of our heroes in present day, will max survivie when everything from medical advice to omnius foreshadowing says his head's going to catch fire, and why do we suddenly have a narrator? It leave sme stoked for the next chapter and shows the evolution of how telltale was telling these tales: Before it was more self contined chunks, now with more games getting made around this time like back to the future, we're seeing them start to captalize on cliffhangers to keep you hooked and it works well. While I know WHY skeletons thanks to chapter summaries, it's still a good hook if you didn't know the next chapter was about their ancestors

Next Time:A full chapter flashback. Goodie? Thanks for reading.

[skrumbly-booplo-incorporated]

Great Video Game Bracket 64 – CONCLUSION

And title of "THE VIDEO GAME EVER" goes to...

Disco Elysium!

Thank you to everyone who voted in this bracket's polls! The final scores for all 64 games will be listed below the "keep reading" tab.

It'll probably be a while until the next bracket – August at the earliest. In the meantime, there are two qualifiers going on as we speak...

Villain Bracket Qualifiers Form

Music Album Bracket Qualifiers Form

Until next time!

––––––––––––––––

FINAL AVERAGE PERFORMANCES

FIRST PLACE: Disco Elysium – 76.2143% (as of Grand Finals)

SECOND PLACE: Metal Gear Solid – 64.8571% (as of Grand Finals)

THIRD PLACE: OFF – 68.7375% (as of Semifinals)

FOURTH PLACE: Undertale Yellow – 59.8167% (as of Semifinals)

5th-8th Places:

#5: Stardew Valley – 71.4%

#6: Yakuza 0 – 68.767%

#7: Sam & Max Hit the Road – 66.4%

#8: Resident Evil 4 (2023) – 63.16%

9th-16th Places:

#9 – Touhou Youyoumu ~ Perfect Cherry Blossom. – 63.15%

#10 – NiGHTS into dreams… – 60.24%

#11 – The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt – 59.5%

#12 – The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim – 58.7%

#13 – PaRappa the Rapper – 58.4%

#14 – Night in the Woods – 55.917%

#15 – Yume Nikki – 54.14%

#16 – Shipwrecked 64 – 53.0%

17th-24th Places:

#17 – Dishonored 2 – 63.525%

#18 – Black Mesa – 57.675%

#19 – DuckTales (1989) – 55.88%

#20 – Final Fantasy VII Remake Intergrade – 53.98%

#21 – Pseudoregalia – 53.64%

#22 – God of War (2018) – 52.125%

#23 – The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening – 48.75%

#24 – Sonic the Hedgehog Time Twisted – 47.26%

25th-32nd Places:

#25 – Lego Batman: The Videogame – 60.55%

#26 – Horizon Zero Dawn – 58.525%

#27 – DOORS – 53.75%

#28 – Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas – 43.95%

#29 – The Oregon Trail – 42.319%

#30 – Halo: Combat Evolved – 40.525%

#31 – Marvel’s Spider-Man (2018) – 38.55%

#32 – Zork – 34.675%

33rd-48th Places:

#33: Cruelty Squad – 59.893%

#34: Dead Space (2008) – 56.067%

#35: Mega Man Maker – 54.933%

#36: Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga – 53.533%

#37: Bomb Rush Cyberfunk – 51.733%

#38: Plok! – 51.667%

#39: Papers, Please – 49.133%

#40: Journey (2012) – 41.6%

#41: Banjo-Kazooie – 40.167%

#42: BioShock Infinite – 39.841%

#43: Friday Night Funkin’: Hotline 024 – 37.6%

#44: Castlevania: Symphony of the Night – 37.1%

#45: Wipeout 2097 – 36.9%

#46: Altered Beast – 36.767%

#47: Godzilla Creepypasta – 36.267%

#48: Spelunky – 32.933%

49th-64th Places:

#49: A Bite at Freddy’s – 34.5%

#50: The Secret of Monkey Island – 31.45%

#51: eversion – 27.6%

#52: Changed – 25.8%

#53: Power Stone – 24.9%

#54: Arkanoid – 23.05%

#55: Gimmick! – 20.5%

#56: Yo! Noid 2: Enter the Void – 19.85%

#57: Day of the Tentacle – 18.75%

#58: Age of Empires II: The Age of Kings – 16.4%

#59: Human: Fall Flat – 14.55%

#60: Tempest – 14.51%

#61: Virtua Fighter 2 – 14.4%

#62: Command & Conquer: Red Alert – 14.3%

#63: Joust – 11.35%

#64: Sunset Overdrive – 7.95%

[chussyracing]

what has been happening in the world of motorsports lately?

(i am super late with all the news, so i'm putting the massive amount of text under the cut)

DRIVER (and engineer) MARKET

Adrian Newey leaving RBR (there are a lot of question marks like if he will get 12 months of gardening leave since the day he hands in his resignation or if he is hired by the team on external contract as they tried to avoid putting him under budget cap; how much it's linked to the tensions in RBR concerning Horner staying in the lead of the team despite being under investigation - that could mean other team members leaving; there is a rumour that Horner also refused to get paddock tickets for Adrian Newey's partner Amanda last year and the relationship has been broken ever since; he could go to Ferrari and there are reports he was offered 100 million pounds with an ambassador role; Toto Wolff is also interested in him and in Max, he is set to meet with his side and with Ola Kallenius from Merc and Jim Ratcliffe from Ineos after Miami about rumoured 150 million Euros contract; there are also questions about exit clauses for Max, Adrian and Helmut Marko; there are other questions like whether he wants to stay in the UK - although Daily Mail says Amanda is already looking at houses in Italy - and whether he would like to retire from F1 altogether; and final note to this point: Craig Slater said he spoke to Aston Martin insiders and found out Newey declined AM's lucrative offer and they think he is heading to Ferrari)

Nico Hulkenberg is set to leave Haas at the end of the year and joing Sauber on multi-year contract (German media reports it is 3-years contract), it's preparation for the Audi move

Ollie Bearman is rumoured to join Haas instead

Sam Bird injured himself in practice for Monaco Eprix which allowed Taylor Barnard to jump into the car

Kimi Antonelli is still linked to Mercedes and William's seat, he just finished W12 testing in Austria at Red Bull Ring (although his test was hindered by the weather, if you live close you know our weather went from 30 degrees Celsius to snowing and below zero) and today he tested W13 in Imola as well

Horner is still pushing for Ricciardo to the second RBR seat but highlighted to achieve that, he would need to improve his form drastically, he also suggested that Liam Lawson doesn't have a seat guaranteed if he even gets into F1 to which Helmut Marko remarked that Liam Lawson has an exit clause if Red Bull doesn't find a seat for him for next year in F1

at the start of the month, journalist Joe Saward reported that Logan could get replaced by Kimi Antonelli after Miami (I won't go into detail but there is multiple reasons why this is highly unlikely)

F1 Academy's first champion Marta Garcia tested with ERT during Formula E rookie test in Berlin

there are rumours about Mick Schumacher being in talks with Prema's Indycar seat

Guenther Steiner is rumoured to buy a team (or shares in a team) in F1, because reportedly the main reason he was let go of by Haas was him founding a huge sponsor for the team and offering it to Gene Haas in exchange for shareholding in the team - now he wants to take the money elsewhere

Jessica Edgar in F1 Academy scored American Express sponsorship, so she will be changing race suit into their dark blue color - and possibly also her livery

Marko Helmut hinted they want to extend Checo Perez's contract but they aren't ready to give him 3 years long extension he is asking for

David Croft said that Gasly is in talks with Williams for 2025 seat, Sainz to Audi is probable but the talks are postponed to mid-May (and Yuki and Esteban are also in talks with them) and that he thinks Guanyu will be left without a seat for 2025

McLaren's Indycar team dropped David Malukas after his hand injury (which relates closely to what I previous said about Callum Illot and Theo Pourchaire jumping in for him, I expect Theo to be named their full time driver)

Lawrence Stroll was looking to sell AM to a big name (so probably Aramco) but his condition was to keep Lance and they didn't agree so the deal fell under the table, on the other hand Honda who is set to join them in 2026 and said to immediately target the title are happy with Lance

SPONSORSHIPS AND INVESTORS

Ferrari introduced HP as their new title sponsor making them Scuderia Ferrari HP (the contract is rumouredly between 80 to 100 mil per year which is bigger than ORACLE) 🤢 - the sponsorship is for F1 Academy and Ferrari Esports teams as well

Hockenheim scored new investors who came with 250 mil Euros injection for the circuit for repairs and changes which could help it reclaim its place at F1's calendar (Thailand and South Korea are also looking to get a place on the calendar)

Lawrence Stroll is rumouredly looking to sell 25% shares in AM

Guanyu became ambassador for Beef Burger McDonald's China

this is actually month old news by SportsRush who reported that Dutch media posted it was Helmut Marko who advised Ford to pull out of the RBR sponsorship deal

Mastercard is in talks with 4 F1 teams for a title sponsor deal and apparently McLaren is the strongest candidate at this point

NEWS FOR MIAMI

Ferrari are bringing blue livery, helmets, suits, merch and GT cars to Miami as US heritage of Ferrari (they are two different shades of blue and it could also be a marketing move in preparation for the HP sponsorship that was announced a day later)

trophies by Miami GP were made by Tiffany and they were inspired by the architecture of Hard Rock Stadium

multiple teams are bringing (mostly smaller) upgrades for Miami: RB, McLaren, Mercedes, Williams

Miami GP organizers banned Trump presidental fundaraiser from the paddock

Alex will have Albon Athletics even this Wednesday in Miami in Legends Miami sneaker store

Williams is also opening a Fan Zone with drivers present

multiple teams are are bringing new merch collections: besides Ferrari, it's also McLaren, Red Bull, Williams or official F1 merch

Andretti continues hiring in all areas and are set to meet with F1 Management to discuss their F1 entry in Miami

multiple drivers already showed their special helmets with more probably to follow: Ferrari drivers, Max for all US races and Oscar

Niki Lauda's 1976 helmet from the infamous incident is going into auction in Miami

team principals will meet to discuss jump starts and how they should be judged in Miami

OTHER MOTORSPORTS SERIES

Mitch Evans won the Monaco Eprix and the team achieved 1-2 with Nick in p2

Formula E also launched GEN3 Evo before the Eprix

6 hours of Imola in WEC was won by Nyck de Vries' team although it was Ferrari 1-2-3 during quali (then Ferrari strategy strategied)

F1 Academy in Zadvoort and F2 in Barcelona finished their in-season testing (Abbi Pulling was fastest in F1 Academy and Isack Hadjar was fastes in F2)

the first Autonomous Racing League race = AI took place in Yas Marina (and you need to read it for yourself because my report wouldn't do it justice)

THE FUTURE OF F1

F1 is discussing revised point system where two more people could score (so points from p1 to p12), but the introduction was delayed and they will report on this more towards the end of the year after they collect more data

F1 commision agreed on introducing rear facing cameras from Spain onwards

Aston Martin exposed a grey area in rules when they protested Carlos stopping on track in China and FIA is exposed to clear it up to probably set a time limit when the driver has to restart the car, otherwise they won't be able to continue in the session

Domenicali told FormulaPassion that if drivers are complaining about the number of races and sprints, they are not mandatory to race (it was also a response to reports that he wants to add more sprints to the calendar)

F1 introduced new free streaming station in the US which should allowed viewers to follow F1 and junior series as well as some exclusive content

F1 reduced its carbon footprint by 13% since 2018 as per their 2023 impact report and they want to continue towards zero emissions promise by 2030

WHAT HAPPENED OFF TRACK

Irish Sun says that the victim of Horner's inappropriate behaviour hired a new legal team, she has been questioned a lot for the appeal these days, but she could get peace soon as it should get sorted by the middle of May

Grill the Grid team posted a new F1 video "Anything but F1"

Max was named one of the 100 most influential people of 2024

EA Sports released F1 24 and F1 24 Champions covers

Vogue Italy's new issue features a photoshoot including Irina Shyak and Ferrari drivers and engineers

Mercedes became the first F1 team to reach over 500m pounds turnover

Imola will be remembering Senna and Ratzenberger this week for their 30th anniversary

Valtteri the chaotic king he is, qualified for a cycling championship

Lando was apparently celebrating King's Day in Neatherlands so hard that he cut his noce on a broken glass