#11 more years of this bs? ill pass

[galoslio]

Anyway sure im 19 but surviving till im 30 sounds tiring and stressful so like maybe 25 ya know

[suckitsurveys]

1. Can you remember what you were doing at 8:15 this morning? Yeah, working.  2. In your phone’s contacts, who is the first person listed under the letter ‘R’? When did you last see that person? Rachel. I saw her about a year ago. 

3. If someone is sticking their nose into your business where it isn’t wanted, how would you deal with that? Would you say something to them? Entirely depends on the situation. 

4. What did you have for lunch today? Or, if you haven’t had lunch yet, what do you think you will have? I haven’t had lunch yet. I’m on my lunch break right now but I’m not super hungry. I might make these fried mushrooms I bought at the store yesterday.

5. Is there someone you desperately want to see/speak to atm, but you can’t? I’d LOVE to see Ellen this year. She was supposed to visit in 2020 but, yeah, the world went to shit. We’re now aiming for summer 2022 after she graduates. 

6. Do you and your significant other have a special song? What is it? We have a few.

7. If you HAD to sing something on karaoke, what song would you choose? Tiny Dancer is a good one. Or something 80s. 

8. Can you remember the last time you felt ill? What was wrong with you? Thursday I was super nauseous.  9. What time is it now? Are you tired? 11:50AM. Weird, it’s been exactly 2 hours since a survey last asked this question lol. I am always tied. 

10. If you wear make-up, do you take it with you, to reapply throughout the day? Does your make-up stay for a long time after you first apply it, or do you find that you need to reapply often? Are you wearing any make-up atm? That’s a lot of questions. I rarely wear makeup.

11. What if you found the last person you kissed, in bed with the last person you texted? Same person.

12. The last person you held hands with - have you ever kissed them? Yes.

13. Can you remember what your parents bought you for Christmas last year? Yeah.

14. Think about the person you fell hardest for. Why do you think your feelings for this person were so strong? How is he/she different compared to everyone else you��ve had feelings for? The person I fell hardest for is my husband. We had an immediate connection and I felt comfortable and like I could 100% be myself around him. He’s sweet, caring, compassionate. And hilarious as fuck. We get along SO well and I just love being around him.

30. Have you ever caught your friend cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend? If you have, what did you do about it? If you haven’t, what do you think you would do? The fuck happened to 15-29?

31. When your last relationship ended, how long was it before you felt ready to think about being with someone else? Lol. My last relationship was bullshit. It ended in April 2011 and I got with my now husband in July 2011. I was already thinking about being with him that whole BS relationship, tbh. Me and that guy got together because we were both bored. I’m so happy that phase of my life is over. It was gross and shitty. 

32. Has any of your friends ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend that you found attractive, and you would secretly have liked to have for yourself? Eh.

33. How many guys do you know named Matthew? A couple. 

34. Think about the last person that made you cry. Would that person be there for you if you needed help? No one person has made me cry in a while. I’ve been crying more over situations.

35. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to sleep last night? Do you remember what you talked about? My husband. We were talking about the storm and if it had fully passed. 

36. Has someone of the opposite sex made you cry at any point during the last 24 hours? No.

37. Is there anything you would like to say to your most recent ex? Nah, but I hope he knows he’s irrelevant af. 

38. If your friends are sexually active but you aren’t, does that bother you? Have you ever felt pressured to have sex before you were ready, because your friends had done it? I’ve never felt pressure from friends to do it before I was ready. 

39. In your opinion, what is the difference between having a crush and being in love? Have your own experiences helped you to realise that there is a difference? There’s definitely a difference. A crush is like an infatuation. In love is a deeper, actual connection. 

40. Did the last person you hugged have any of these letters in their name: T, R, K, P, J? Yeah.

41. What’s the most unhealthy thing you’ve eaten in the last 24 hours? Ice cream.

42. What was the last compliment you received from someone of the opposite sex? Something related to sex the other night, giggle giggle.

43. Who did you last say ‘I love you’ to? What colour are that person’s eyes? My husband. His eyes are brown.

44. If you took away the first and third letters of your name, what would you then be called? Anah.

45. Name 7 things that make you happy, and explain how it might affect you if you had to give them up. I’ll name 7 things but I’m not gunna do the second part. My husband, my kitties, my nieces, my friends, sushi, bubble tea, the beach.

46. Think about your Facebook profile photo. What kind of assumptions do you think a stranger might make about you, from seeing that photograph? Would any of these assumptions be correct? I don’t know. I’m sure there are a lot of assumptions that are made of a fat girl with blue hair. Some may be correct. 

47. You buy a bar of chocolate, but you decide that you don’t want to eat it now, and put it in the fridge. When you go back later, half of it’s gone - someone else has started eating it! Who are you most likely to blame? A ghost, because Mark wouldn’t eat it. 

48. Choose 5 friends, and talk briefly about each person’s longest/most serious relationship. Who was the relationship with, and how long did it last? Wtf, no?

49. Do you think it’s wrong for someone to commit themselves to a long-term relationship at a young age? Explain. No? If they’re happy, what’s the issue?

50. Is there something happening in the near future, that you’re looking forward to? Yes. I have Wednesday off and we’re going to the pool. And in July Mark and I are going to a little lake house. Then in August I’m going to Boston!

[mittensmorgul]

I've watched season 11 again, and I have a question if you're willing to answer. In season 5, Cas was very disappointed about learning God was basically a "dead beat dad," as Dean called it. But when Cas had an opportunity to talk to Chuck, he didn't seem all that interested in talking to him or even asking a question or two. Why do you think they never had Cas interact with Chuck as a son talking to his father when it was such a huge deal for Cas in season 5?

Hi there! I’m happy to talk about this, because honestly I was personally GLAD that Cas treated Chuck the way he did in s11.

(A/N: I was halfway through writing this when my power went out last night, so now that everything is back on I’m gonna see if I remember wtf I was even talking about... if this goes sideways halfway through, blame Potomac Edison)

Cas had already realized long before exactly who and what Chuck was. I mean, not that Chuck was actually God, but that God and “His Plan” was always a load of BS.

Chuck left the angels a lot of conflicting information, and not a lot in the Free Will and Critical Thinking arena. I was just thinking about season 6, and this sort of feeds into a lot of the same distinction between Cas and the rest of the angels. My personal line of thinking earlier this evening was this line in 6.20:

CASTIEL I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you. DEAN Because of me. Yeah. You got to be kidding me. CASTIEL You're the one who taught me that freedom and free will -- DEAN You're a freakin' child, you know that? Just because you can do what you want doesn't mean that you get to do whatever you want!

Major Tangent Warning, because I gotta write out what I was thinking earlier in order to explain why I am So Pleased with Cas and his reaction to Chuck in s11, which I think of as abject disdain. This is key to everything Cas had learned, to all of his growth as a person up to that point.

What Dean tells Cas here is in direct contradiction to what Raphael’s self-stated motive in restarting the apocalypse was. Also from 6.20:

RAPHAEL You rebelled - against God, heaven, and me. Now you will atone. We'll start by freeing Lucifer and Michael from their cage. And then we'll get our show back on the road. CASTIEL Raphael...No. The Apocalypse doesn't have to be fought! RAPHAEL Of course it does. It's God's will. CASTIEL How can you say that?! RAPHAEL Because it's what I want. CASTIEL Well, the other angels won't let you. RAPHAEL Are you sure? You know better than anyone, Castiel. They're soldiers. They weren't built for freedom. They were built to follow.

Raphael is just doing “whatever he wants,” in the way Dean was trying to convince Cas NOT to. Because if Dean learns anything in s6, it is the cosmic cost of his own actions. Think 6.11, and the lessons he learns having to play Death for a day. As much as Dean tries to work around the Bigger Picture of the Universe, he does understand that there is a right and a wrong, and that some things are worth fighting or even dying for, but the cost might sometimes just be too great. And unleashing all the souls in purgatory on the planet seems like just a different sort of apocalyptic level of bad... like putting out a fire with a flamethrower.

Cas had to make a choice here. He’d chosen his path every step of the way, wrestled with each decision he’d had to make over the previous year leading up to that point, but he’d passed the point of no return, and his direct prayer to Chuck went unanswered, and he never got a sign whether he was doing the right thing or not.

I’ve argued in the past that he absolutely DID get a sign, in the form of Dean telling him to stop in 6.20. But Cas dismissed him, out of pride, out of hubris, out  of desperation to do the one thing he believed could give him the power to stop Apocalypse 2.0, save Heaven, and also save Dean in the process, since Dean would be back on the radar to be Michael’s vessel if Raphael succeeded in breaking him out of the Cage.

And here’s the really tangenty part of the tangent: it just made me think of all the nitwits who won’t wear a mask in public, or follow social distancing rules because MAH FREEDUMB, you’re impinging on MAH LIBERTY. BUT THE CONSTITUTION!

Because yes, we can do what we want, but we can’t do WHATEVER we want when our actions are harmful to others!

The framers of the Constitution could never have foreseen a pandemic like this. But any SOCIETY where people must coexist needs to put some constraints on liberty, and the framers absolutely DID understand this.

They also couldn’t have foreseen air travel, but we have established rules about this. They couldn’t have foreseen cars and traffic lights and interstate highways, and yet we have rules that govern our behavior there, as well. Air traffic controllers, stop signs, speed limits-- we don’t just have the right to drive 90 mph through a school zone and run through red lights. And yet nobody yells BUT MAH FREEDUMB! when they get a speeding ticket.

Polite society ALSO must include *MY* right not to be killed because someone else decided that traffic laws didn’t apply to them, see?

Basically, wear your mask and shut up about it, whiny pissbabies. This is what is required of you to live in a functioning society. You do NOT have the right to infect others with a potentially deadly illness. Full stop.

But back to Cas and the Leviathan infection he’s about to infest the entire planet with...

Dean was effectively giving him the “wear a mask, nitwit” speech, but on a cosmic level.

And Cas had to live with the consequences of his choice, with the GUILT and DEPRESSION that resulted. And he spent the next few seasons desperately trying to make up for what he’d done, to atone and do whatever he could to redeem himself-- to Dean. He’d tried to redeem himself to Heaven, but the more he eventually began to learn about Humanity, the less affinity he felt for his fellow angels, and for Chuck’s construct of Heaven.

Because back to another previous point, Chuck effectively left the angels two opposing sets of instructions: orders to watch over the earth and act as shepherds to humanity, and orders to bring on the apocalypse at any cost. Can’t do both, truly. Even Naomi will eventually say, right before Metatron stabs her in the head, that she (and the other angels) forgot that their true mission was to protect and defend humanity, and she didn’t know when or why that ever changed.

FINALLY back to the point! WHEEE!

Basically, Cas has, in the six years between s5 and s11, experienced “god-ness” from every angle, experienced his own guilt over what he now believes were misguided actions, that sometimes Humanity has a better answer, and there are some things that just aren’t worth it in the long run.

Mostly, he’s realized just HOW deadbeat Chuck has always been. And the revelation that Chuck had actually been God all along? Saw their pain and suffering at trying to STOP the apocalypse all those years before? KNEW FULL WELL that Sam, Dean and Cas were doing everything they could to try and save the world from basically the entirety of Heaven and Hell, who were plotting the destruction of humanity and most of creation with it. I mean... Cas spent s5 begging for God’s help, to save the world, to convince Michael and Lucifer that they did not have to destroy humanity, and Chuck... had done LESS than nothing. He’d sat there and ghoulishly watched the entire mess unfold like a bad tv show... oh wait... :’D

By s11, Lucifer had not reached that point that Cas had. Lucifer had many other issues, having been rejected and locked up for most of existence, and even HE had been the one in 5.22 to try and talk Michael out of enacting Chuck’s battle plan. Lucifer never had the experiences Cas did (and despite being given every opportunity to have them over the next few seasons after s11, he continues to reject those experienced at every turn anyway, only serving to highlight the difference between Cas and, honestly, most of the rest of the angels). Lucifer had a personal need for a direct apology from Chuck for everything he’d been put through-- starting with taking on the original Mark and ending with the cage.

Of course Lucifer didn’t get an honest apology, because in the end, it was all just a theoretical production to Chuck. He had never apologized, in any of his universes, to any of the beings he created. And he never would. And on some level, Cas-- via his experiences, what he himself had already come to understand about God and creation-- already understood this about Chuck.

Cas... didn’t care about him anymore. He cared about HUMANITY, about Chuck’s CREATION. The creator might be a worthless jerk, but what came out of his creation is a thing of ultimate beauty. Humanity, love, free will, and the beauty of the universe is what ends up saving the world in 11.23, so I’ve chosen to accept this read of Cas and his relationship and opinions of Chuck. Because it’s perfectly in line with the “moral” of season 11.

Plus it’s just so personally satisfying to me watching each individual character’s reactions to Chuck, and understanding how that aligns with all of their personal arcs.

Dean: brought the “how could your forsake your creation” of a broken-hearted son who has finally seen the truth. something he worked out YEARS ago between himself and his own father, so it didn’t come with that particular personal baggage and didn’t completely break him in the process (as it may have done with Cas had Chuck revealed himself, say, in 7.01...)

Sam: brought his life-long hope that God was real, his faith in God’s inherent “goodness,” did the Chuck Fanboy for a bit before seeing Chuck a lot more clearly. He was able to relinquish his idol worship of Chuck as the Savior of Humanity.

Cas: had brought his experience of Humanity and Godhood, the entire spectrum of Creation that he had experienced for himself and grown through. Cas, for all his mistakes, had never stopped TRYING to do the right thing, never stopped doing everything in his power to save humanity and creation from every cosmic threat, while Chuck himself had only hidden away and watched from the sidelines, when he’d ALWAYS had the power to make everything good and right and allow the Winchesters their peace. Honestly, what BETTER response than to treat Chuck like a bit of gum stuck to his shoe?

Metatron: who had basically spent s9 trying to turn himself into Chuck Lite, literally plagiarizing his Supernatural novels to create his own origin story as the new God, and failed miserably. What other angel could truly confront Chuck, writer to writer, and call him out for His Story? Even fallen as low as he could go, Metatron understood first-hand the responsibility of The Cosmic Author in ways even Cas couldn’t, because narrative symmetry. Metatron was always about the Word, as God’s Scribe. He was a bad copy of the original with the names scratched out. He basically wrote the worst self-insert fanfic of all time. And that gave him the narrative space to confront Chuck about everything that Cas no longer had. Cas had long since rejected that role, sided with Humanity, and smashed Chuck’s Word. The original tablet-breaker.

Crowley: carried on Crowley-ing. Doing the best he could with what he had, and somehow miraculously BS’ing his way through.

Rowena: recognized the Biggest Power in the room and ingratiated herself to it for comfort and protection, and hopefully for a bit of power and security.

Billie: gosh she just stepped in at the 11th hour to annoy Chuck. :’D

But yeah, I’ve always been incredibly pleased that Cas basically ignored Chuck in s11. Good for him.

[irregulardiaryposts]

23:28 11/05/2021

sooooo uhhhhh,, its chewsday innit.i have no idea what my life is anymore. like what do i even do?? i have no idea how i would describe myself to someone else and thats sort scary yk. like how am i supposed to like myself if i dont know who i am? n e way enough existentialismmmmmm ice gotten more unconditional uni offers which im dead proud of like who wouldve thought I wouldve been able to do this. if only i couldve seen myself like 4 years ago i would be shocked. i mean most of it would make sense but like i didnt even think id live this long tbh. i dont think about that enough the fact i couldnt see myself getting older and doing 'grown uo things' because i thought i would never get through the present. that sounds real sad wow. 

lets talk about something else, perhaps how i believe myself to be far too impulsive for my own good and never thinking anything through twice. like ive just tried to revamp my whole room coz i was unhappy with it. i tried to chalk it up to just wanting a better desk and suddenly ive thrown away half my furniture and my room looks empty affff. but its ok since it already looks kinda better everything's cleaner now too. 

i went into my backgarden today and i picked all the uhhh my laptop almost died on me there i realised my things at full brightness anyway yes i went and picked the uh dandelions? the yellow chucky ones and some daisies and i made some flower chains and stuff and hung them in my room even though theyre gonna die idrc becuase they still look kinda cute, i keep patching my uni prep class becuase icba going but i still need to set up student loans and shit and actually confirm my choice for uni too omfg so much work and also need to start teaching msyelf the theory sruff for my driving thingytghing 

i was just looking back at another post before i started typing this and i was talking about how i dont really espress myself all too well through my apppearance and things i can personalise to me and i feel like ive gotten a lot better at that coz i recently chucked away a lot of clothes i dont wear and my mum bought me new stuff and im dead chuffed coz im far more confident in them and theyre far more comfy too :) ive also stopped wearing bras with wires and padding in them coz fuck all that shit i no longer care if people see my nipples becuase its not worth the actual pain from and improperly fitting bra which all of them are on me ............................................  

ive been listening to some NEW music lately just from my discover weekly stuff and its been pretty fuckign spot on with the shit i wanna listen to but i wish itd let me save each week as like a diff playlist but ive just been adding my favs to my other playlists feel like ive been piecing myself together bit by bit after not having the right pieces for years. 

anyway future me or whoever listen to 'them changes' by thunder someone or other because i think im a little bit obssesed atm hehehehehhehehehesjnjndkb LJBSCLVJBs jbs c' CKJBDKjkbckj  sh. i feel a bit like a fraud tho ngl like as tho im waiting for the other shoe to drop and find out im actaully lying about being a functioning human being for longer than like 5 days in the past 3/4 years. did that make sense idk im justsaying i feel a bit fake and that next time i feel a bit d y s f u n c t i o n a l its gonna hit really fucking hard and its gonna take a lot to get over it idk maybe im just being pessimistic or smth have a tendency to do that. 

also ive completely given up with school i have less than a month left and i cannot be fucked doing any more work than is necessary to pass ie only doing the test things and pretending to know what im doing in class no studying no homework none of that bs i would rather break my toes ..  

ive wrote like 3800 characters thats like maybe 800 words isssshhh idk man considering ive wrote w shit like wbsihizjbk ziSJNlcjb alknfbv ajn jankbdv. you know , . i dont really know what im rambing about anymore nothing has realliy progressed that much do idk what to say ill come back maybe when im at uni :O beye

[will-i-everape-my-despair]

my life

okay where to begin  when i was young or when i wasnt?

alright ill start from the beggining 

it wasnt a great life

well not ideal anyways 

when i was born i almost died, my mother was diagnosed with post natal depression in spain, yeah i was born there ....when having to move to australia because spain isnt good with that sorta support .......my dad said he would come 

he lied

he cheated on my mother and decided to marry someone else, meanwhile my mother braught her one and only daughter with her, me 

i loved my mother because everyone else didnt like me , or atleast because of my mental contition they thaught i wasnt worth anything , i became dependent , and knew a world where you wernt huged nor kissed often, you had to grow up fast or youll be left behind .....mum helped of course but .....idk i wasnt an easy child to take care of , i didnt understand most things like love, respect ect i.....i dint understand emotions , she had to teach me to emote and to sleep, at least thats what she said 

when i first moved it was an expierience but , from then on my scheduales got stricter and my mother would get violent for no reason i thaught , i didnt uunderstand why she got so mad , i wasnt the best child but i never knew why

she hit me pulled my hair blackmailed me berated me ABUSED me 

and yet 

i still loved her , because when all you are taught was despair .......how can you see it as bad?,

expecialy when the world was against you 

======

i moved schools , into a new area  it was fun....i was scared at first ....and it was also my first taste of hope  i prefferred school over home  why? well....my family aint the best  i was often the scapegoat for my cousins actions , which just made the family hate us more ......except my grandparents  i was either sheltered , or mum just didnt have time to teach me idk  but my aunties not my mother would take care of me....when i was very very sick .....mum had to work 

from here it gets fuzzy 

i only remember a few things , when i was sick being forced to go to school, we never celebrated halloween like ever , i didnt do my homework because i would weasel out of it , and for the longest time i felt well.....sick .....inside or outside no idea i thaught is was depression, mum asked me why i feel like that and said then i dont have it 

====

we moved again 

more like we got kicked out 

and then

from there

mum only got

WORSE

we moved into someone named tonys house .....he was....to put it simply, a piece of shit , how mum fell in love is BEYOND me  he....liked to make mum mad....and sick her on me by running out of the house  from here ........i developed insomnia , my pillow was more full of tears than dreams , and tbh i had horrible nightmares , when i told mum she didnt look concerned.....well her eyes never showed it not that i knew ......i was .....always medicated but .......this was new i felt 

lost broken void emotionless empty expecialy after my cousin made me his little prostitute

still i was expected to work, my hair that used to shine like gold in the sun....lost all of it and my hair started turning white , i have more grey hairs than the average teen my sparkle was long gone....and i hid myself in the world of my mind and technology, eye baggs were visible and i dint do anything heh kinda like now.....i went to tutoring....i avoided work like the plauge  around this time however mum told me about her old faith....Jehovas Witness  i was sure why not  i at first ....it seemed so lovely  and i actively participated at this point i was in high school ... the family was in conflict...and school wasnt much better  then came....the dreaded ......scrunchie incident did i mention i was never left alone at home? because i was in highschool and still going to day care well i made friends in this little toddlers day care and well...i was invited to a party.....i just had a shower and lost the scrunchie i always wore and still do wear mum became enraged pulling my ears my hair making me hyperventilate ...i might of died no idea thank god abuello saved me  after a while of tonys bs, and becoming completely dead inside i....we moved again  i was still a JW but then......i became less trustfull of anything and anyone ....i looked at it .....and saw how condtradictory it was  i saw how bad the school system really was .....the more i searched on the net the more i learnt .....and the more i learnt the more i knew...

something was WRONG 

then last year in yr 10 maths......is the devil...expecaily the advanced stuff ....lets just say school wasnt safe anymore and math class made me pass out due to stress mum would hit me over homework, or throw my books in fits of rage then told me its YOUR FAULT i do this , YOUR FAULT that im breaking jehovas laws! and i actualy faught back after she nearly bashed my head in ..........i .....the iron my grandma died two years ago

english class wasnt too bad, but this one asssignment mum re wrote the whole thing ..........because “it didnt make sense “  i told her to shove it and not to be infolved in my work anymore

 i hate school the***pists ......i was overwhelmed......and at the end of the year i ......broke.....BAD....i told all my fellow classmates everything i had experienced........................to come home.....get called by my mother......and get yelled at .....over the phone.....for telling the truth......not because she was scared for me.....but because of her reputation.....she yelled at me and berated me.....i was still breaking and in a flash a thaught  one single thing “would anyone care if i died?” “if i died would mum be happy and free from me” “maybe i should go im a waste”  

i grabbed a knife  held it to my chest and couldnt do it  i thaught of my family, my friends and how they might feel

only to get berating texts and yelled at by my auntie  

then......yr 11 poped up  and the acedemic sprang into place  ....mum and i ......dont ....arent.....we arent compatible i found out after this  it was online work....my ADHD ass couldnt DO that....and what was worse my alters made themselves KNOWN ha  ha hahaha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA killer kit my mother with a bottle and she whined of how i could of killed her....i distrusted him after that  i cried in the kitchen...laughing like a phycho  ... .................. ............................ and they were very distracting towards my work....which is what CAUSED that in the first place  term 2  well i found a friend group on line  they are angles  really they are 

tbh before yr 11 i was a bit better  but now i had well ALOT of appointments that i dint want  that didnt help  and the kids ......liked making me scared  term three is now  my grandpa died i finnaly cut myself off the JW  i told mum how i felt , the truth like she WANTED  she told me im spinning things that im abusive that shes a servant  i know i dont do much.....but my boddy is broken....i dont have motivation  and this place keeps me sane  and  alive one more year in the chambers of despair  and when that year is up the frail angel that lost her wings will be given the power  to soar to hope once again 

[swatato]

fat. FAT. P H A T RANT INCOMING FOR ANYONE WHO CARES TO READ THIS NONSENSE CUZ @haldidoodh ASKED

That episode literally blasted the last of my serotonin into smithereens but TBH??? WHO AM I MAD AT I should have seen this coming this whole volume has been such a headache. I cant be bothered to type up a coherent rwde essay on everything that bothered me this episode so im just gonna copy and paste my earlier yelling here instead ;A;

Team Rwby was god awful in episodes 11-12. They’re so self-righteous, entitled, hypocritical and cocky as a team and it doesnt help that they all suck as individual characters nowadays (except for weiss but even she lost best-girl points this episode also lmao blake and yang aren’t even INDIVIDUALS anymore they’re just bumbleby). It was annoying at first but now its just infuriating how rwby thinks theyre always right with their uwu energy and think they can do whatever tf they want with ZERO CONSEQUENCES.

Basically any time there is a problem in this show they have Ruby uwu at it and its solved lol.

They kept giving ironwood shit for taking on this incredible burden SO THAT NOBODY ELSE WOULD HAVE TO and rather than offer any real solution they just kept going “but mantle” like okay?? But remnant??? Like obvi letting mantle rot is bad but HE WAS OPEN TO ANY HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS CUZ HES OBVI AT HIS WITTS END AND DOESNT LIKE THE IDEA EITHER but yeah they just proceed to be the fattest hypocrites by hiding secrets of their own after being all “no more secrets uwu” and WHEN THEY GOT EXPOSED THEY JUST WENT “>:[“ (yangs self-righteous little glare here pissed me off so much oof) especially when ironwood was laying everything out in the open to them from the start. AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SECRET WAS FKIN “OH YEAH SALEM CANT DIE LOL” They watched ironwood make every decision he did in hopes of beating Salem while KNOWING she couldnt die??? So literallY WHERE do they get off on screeching at him with their yOu doNt hAvE to Suffer In ManTle YOu doNt kNow whAt iTs liKe bs. Wtf made ruby distrust iw at the start anyway? Because he had a bunch of ships out? They kept this CRUCIAL piece of information from him because he seemed stressed out?? Like what made ruby keep the secret from him. Someone tell me.

And the fact that rwby beat the ace-ops makes no goddamned sense. The power-scaling in this show is non-existant. We finally got to meet some pro huntsmen in this universe who aren’t teachers but are actually on the job, but because we gotta move out of the way for that 👌🏽✨ Power Of Friendship✨ and ✨rwby is always right✨ they somehow managed to beat experienced huntsmen with YEARS in the field who’ve actually graduated school??? FARM BOI OSCAR WHOS *JUST* LEARNING HOW TO FIGHT MANAGED TO LAND A PUNCH ON NEO FKIN POLITAN??? Didnt neo dance circles around yang??? Yang, who punches for a living and also beat mercury and adam??? I cant yall (and the fact that he didnt even bother to sneak up on her this boi literally screamed “no!!” as he ran down a hallway and neo didnt even have time to blink??? Pls)

Ruby’s “you were the best, until you trained us :3” -for maybe 2 days before my team went dancing ruby sis shut right tf up pls my god is this line just so. UNEARNED. Training in a room for a short while does not simply grant you the years of field experience the ace ops have and whAT IS UP WITH HER TRYING TO REASON WITH HARIETT AFTER SAYING THAT COCKY LINE AND FIGHTING HER??? WHAT and also like. The entire idea of “the ops lost cuz they weren’t good friends and were bad at teamwork uwu” is just so dumb. Ur telling me this group of high ranking hunstmen who’ve most likely been working together for at least a few years didnt have teamwork down??? Learning to work together is the most BASIC concept for a team to learn!! Its like the first thing a team has to perfect!! If the ace ops are supposed to be the best of atlas you dont think the ops would have gotten something as fundemental as teamwork down?? I dont buy it. And who gives a shit if they dont hang out after work or take selfies with eachother. Being friends doesnt necessarily mean theyre great at working together. If they succeed at relying on eachother to watch their backs, to keep each other alive (in the words of hariett herself) then Id think theyd know how to protect eachother i.e WORK TOGETHER.

And for all the ✨friendship✨ and ✨going through so much with someone✨ talk rwby like to do, the show barely displays these people acting like friends. We’re constantly TOLD how great of friends this group is, but the actual CONTENT we are shown leaves a lot to be desired. Tell me the last time ruby and blake teamed up in a fight. Or weiss and blake. Or yang and weiss. What teamwork?? Yang only interacts with blake now and weiss is only ever allowed to interact with ruby. Has blake ever said nora or ren’s name out loud? Have jaune and yang ever held a conversation between just them? Team rwby just spent a GOOD DEAL of time seperated from eachother, but when they reunite their teamwork is still somehow better than the ace ops?? Honestly its easier to believe that ruby is closer with team jnpr than she is her own team. If they showed the ops messing up during rwby vs ace ops fight due to lack of communication, then it still doesnt matter. My point is that they shouldnt have lacked teamwork in the first place.

Robyn was m e h this episode “JaMes ConTinUes to UnDeresTimAte Me” *proceeds to get knocked over in .3 seconds and is then KO for the rest of the episode* also great job for starting a fight and aiming to take clovers life in a moving airship with a terrorist on board when clover was acting PEACEFULLY and qrow was WILLING TO TALK IT OUT WITH IW and potentially work on a solution, but naw robyn is big mad and shall shoot.

Qrow made zero sense this episode too. I was with him right up until he chose TYRIAN OVER CLOVER??? THE PSYCOPATH WHO CANNOT BE REASONED WITH OVER THE RATIONAL DUDE YOU KNOW IS GOOD except clover wasnt acting rational in this fight at all and ill get to that AND IS THE ONLY FRIEND YOU HAVE WHOS NOT 19????? Qrow rly looked at tyrian- a man who is literally an enemy to all of remnant and went after ur neice- and said lets get rid of this punk together u and me bro. Like screw teaming with clover to bring down the dude you ACTUALLY have a grudge with whos also a serial killer and then trying to talk it out with clover whod be willing to do things peacefully why is this show like this

and AS FOR CLOVER. where were the braincells this episode. Qrow was trying to fight tyrian-the WAY bigger threat here, but clover??? kept knocking him away from tyrian and restraining him with his hook like??? YEAH LETS HELP OUT THE DEMON SCORPION CRACKHEAD HES CLEARLY NOT THE PRIORITY ATM nvm clover deserved to die there m8

His death scene was emotional and I feel bad for Qrow but u literally sealed his death when u ganged on him with tyrian so why are you even surprised. And on the subject of fairgame, im glad it didnt happen. Qrow was in no state for romance and I was glad he finally had a friend. He just spent the last volume thinking he wasted his life away helping oz, drowning in misery, drinking til he passed out on the street and so drunk he couldnt even be of any help during the apathy situation, when up til now hes been shown to fight just fine while drunk. I don’t see this as a “bury your gays trope” because clover was never confirmed to be gay and all their scenes added up to 40 seconds of platonic friendship. These two are grown ass men, if they had the hots for eachother then im pretty sure they could openly show it and not dance around it like theyre kids. I do feel bad for mlm viewers who were hoping for some rep with fairgame/lucky charms (cuz rt only cares if ur a cute marketable lesbian) but idc for the overly entitled fans who try to force their own headcanons on the writers and go feral when they dont get what they want. You dont just get to prance around claiming whats canon and what isnt. If rep is there then great, but if it isnt, then why not look somehwere else and let the author tell the story theyre trying to tell? Shipping fairgame cuz you think its cute is absolutely fine but not when u start getting ready to casterate crwby for not catering to you. Also, rwby sucks with lgbt+ rep anyway so what were yall expecting.

The only thing that was great this episode was the chorerography. It just sucks that the animation/choreo continues to improve while the writing doesnt. Another thing that really fell off this episode was the whole “we’re friends but we have to fight” drama. It doesnt work when its only ONE SIDE SHOWING ANY DISTRESS OVER IT. Only the ace ops (marrow, clover, the vine dude) seemed to show distress over having to fight rwby (it sucks that the only 1v1 weiss has won was because marrow was going EASY on her cuz he didnt wanna fight her fr) but rwby???? They didnt give any shits. They were so quick to turn against them and aim for their heads. They were SMILING as they ran at the ace ops, while they looked conflicted. If you oppose their UwU philosophy, you’re dead to them.

I really wanna enjoy RWBY but sometimes this show (and the fndm) really tests me. Its ironic how this episode came right after last episode, which I thought was the best chapter this volume. Anyway I rate this 10/10 cuz it gave me best character ironwood and best boi marrow and I would like to give them hugs for carrying this volume on their backs. (Also tyrian and penny and winter have been great too)

[parentsnevertoldus]

little-t trauma

CW// health issues, death, suicide, homophobia, racism

When I was little, I thought that “drama” and “trauma” were the same thing. Middle school drama consisted of which popular long-haired sk8er boy was scooping the boobs of which popular pubescent girl; whose secrets were exposed when someone was ousted from their friend group; which 8th graders were dating high school seniors. While, in my experience, these words can often describe each other--drama can be traumatic and vice versa--they mean two different things. However, looking back on my childhood as I got older, I realized the way I had used them interchangeably was, well, correct. 

Whether it’s “Big-T Trauma” or “little-t trauma,” the psychological and physiological responses are the same. Big-T Trauma is an event that happens once but is extremely impactful all at one time, for example, death, assault, and attack, or witnessing an attack. These instances are often more accepted by wider society as stressful. Little-t trauma is by no means less traumatic. However, these recurring events are often invalidated and normalized by society; the burden is often shifted to the victim with the expectation that one should just “get over it.”  Examples of these include chronic bullying, racism, body-shaming, sexism, and other forms of everyday violence and discrimination. What determines whether we call it trauma in the first place is how we feel after the experience. The more frightened or helpless you feel, the more likely that this is trauma. 

Having to let boys playfully “scoop” your boobs every day at school or risk social ostracization? Trauma. Having your deepest darkest secrets exposed at school? Trauma. Being ousted from your friend group? Trauma. Dating someone way too old for you? Trauma. Being the only Black kid at your school? Trauma. Trying to pass for straight? Trauma. Hiding your gender identity from everyone you know? Trauma. No one deserves that.

Minority Stress is a little-t trauma (in contrast to the big-T Trauma of a hate crime).  The term minority stress refers to the excess recurring stress to which individuals from stigmatized social categories are exposed as a result of their position as a social minority. This stress from alienation accumulates over time and results in both physiological and mental health issues.

How Trauma Affects the Body

Increased blood pressure: have you ever heard the expression “higher than a Black man’s blood pressure?” Some epidemiological studies have found that exposure to racial discrimination was positively related to elevated levels of blood pressure in Black people (1). Experiencing discrimination in a broad range of contexts can induce considerable stress. 

Higher rates of chronic disease: Everyday discrimination is positively associated with coronary artery calcification (9),  diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, depression, cancer, and early death (12). Because of this, not only do POC (specifically Black people) experience worse health earlier, but this deterioration accumulates giving rise to higher cortisol levels and inflammation in racial, sexual, and gender minorities alike (13).

Poor sleep:  Black people are less likely than white people to have a decline in blood pressure during sleep, which is associated with increased risk for mortality and traumatic cardiovascular events like heart attacks (11).

Birthing mortality: The weathering hypothesis proposes that the health of Black women may begin to deteriorate in early adulthood as a physical consequence of cumulative socioeconomic disadvantage. This age the body via an increase in allostatic load, the physiological burden imposed by stress: norepinephrine, epinephrine, cortisol, and DHEA-S which gives rise to elevated blood pressure & cholesterol (14). During childbirth, these problems are correlated with higher rates of fetal/neonatal death and death of the birthing person as well as low birth weights and prematurely born babies.

Mental health and physical health are inextricably linked. 

How Trauma Affects Us Socially & Emotionally

Psychological distress: Perceptions of discrimination are related to high levels of psychological distress, low levels of life satisfaction & happiness, depressive symptoms, poorer physical health (2), & cognitive impairment (10). Internalized racism is correlated with higher levels of alcohol use (3) while internalized homophobia correlates to higher levels of illicit drug use.

Fatalism:  Understanding one's position as a victim of oppression, rather than lessening the degree of personal responsibility, diminishes feelings of self-efficacy. This leads to a fatalistic attitude that reduces coping effort in the face of adversity (4,5) and, in gay men, is correlated to increased risk of death by suicide. 

Stereotype threat:  When someone is aware of the negative stereotypes that are applied to them, this creates expectations, anxieties, and reactions that can adversely affect social & psychological functioning (6). When a stigma of inferiority is activated for Black people in experimental conditions, exam performance worsens. Similarly, women who were told that they perform worse than men had lower exam scores than control groups (7). Stereotype threat can increase anxiety, reduce self-regulation, & impair decision-making processes and communication abilities (8).

Trauma makes it hard to trust others; it makes us want to self-isolate from friends and family, snap at loved ones more frequently, makes us more susceptible to disease and chronic flare-ups, and startle more easily. Traumatic experiences, especially ones we face daily and have little control over (microaggressions, anyone?), can lead to hopelessness and chronic mental illness. And while white cisgender heterosexuals have problems too, the problems that oppressed minority groups face have a much larger effect on their cardiovascular systems and overall health.

Discrimination and oppression are literally killing people. In a capitalist society where you are only as valuable as your economic or reproductive output (#tbt to the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade), where women and minorities are barred access to equal healthcare, thus decreasing their values as workers, the cycle of poverty continues.

Ever wonder where the Angry Black Woman stereotype came from? Ever think that maybe her anger was justified?

While this article focuses on Black people and cishet white gay men, let's remember the overall message: experiencing oppression (external and internalized) causes mental and physical health problems that are NOT YOUR FAULT. These experiences are compounded at the intersections of our marginalized identities which further aggravates the tangible effects of systemic oppression. And guess what? You deserve fucking better.

Click here for some self-care ideas and techniques!

Sources

1.  Krieger N. & Sidney S. Racial and discrimination: risk factors for high blood pressure? Social Science & Medicine. 1990; 30 (12): 1273-81.

2. Williams & Chung, in press (NSBA)

3. Taylor, R. J., & Chatters, L. M. (1991). Nonorganizational religious participation among elderly black adults. Journal of Gerontology: Social Sciences, 46(2), S103-111.

4. Jones, E., & Matsumoto, D. (1982). Psychotherapy with the underserved: Recent developments. In L. Snowden (Ed.), Reaching the underserved: Mental health needs of neglected populations. Beverly Hills: Sage Publications.

5. Neighbors, H. W., Jackson, J. S., Broman, C. L., & Thompson, E. (1996). Racism and the mental health of African Americans: The role of self and system blame. Ethnicity and Disease, 6(1-2), 167-175.

6. Fischer, C. S., Hout, M., Jankowski, M. S., Lucas, S. R., Swidler, A., Voss, K. (1996). Inequality by design: Cracking the bell curve myth Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press

7. Steele, C. M. (1997). A threat in the air: How stereotypes shape intellectual identity and performance. American Psychologist, 52(6), 613-629.

8. Inzlicht, M., Kang, S. K. (2010). Stereotype threat spillover: How coping with threats to social identity affects aggression, eating, decision making, and attention. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 99(3), 467-481.

9. Lewis, T. T., Barnes, L. L., Bienias, J. L., Lackland, D. T., Evans, D. A., Mendes de Leon, C. F.(2009). Perceived discrimination and blood pressure in older African American and White adults. Journals of Gerontology Series A: Biological Sciences and Medical Sciences, 64A(9), 1002-1008.

10. Barnes, L. L., Lewis, T. T., Begeny, C. T., Yu, L., Bennett, D. A., Wilson, R. S. (2012). Perceived discrimination and cognition in older African Americans. Journal of the International Neuropsychological Society, 18(5), 856-865.

11. Profant, J., Dimsdale, J. E. (1999). Race and diurnal blood pressure patterns: A review and meta-analysis. Hypertension, 33(5), 1099-1104.

12. National Research Council (US) Panel on Race, Ethnicity, and Health in Later Life; Anderson NB, Bulatao RA, Cohen B, editors. Critical Perspectives on Racial and Ethnic Differences in Health in Late Life. Washington (DC): National Academies Press (US); 2004. 14, Significance of Perceived Racism: Toward Understanding Ethnic Group Disparities in Health, the Later Years. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK25531/

13. Gender differences in age-related changes in HPA axis reactivity.

Seeman TE, Singer B, Wilkinson CW, McEwen B

Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2001 Apr; 26(3):225-40.

14. Price of adaptation--allostatic load and its health consequences. MacArthur studies of successful aging.

Seeman TE, Singer BH, Rowe JW, Horwitz RI, McEwen BS

Arch Intern Med. 1997 Oct 27; 157(19):2259-68.

[bro-you-dont-even-know]

11/5/19 Alright, here's a little intro post...

So, hey. Here's a little background info. This year, around April, I started getting the feeling my medication wasn't working anymore. Little did I know that this was gonna bs the beginning of something I wasn't ready for. While in school for my dream career and working in my dream field, I got diagnosed with OCD. Despite having an inkling about it since I was like 15, getting the actual diagnosis has been really rough for me. I'm learning more about different symptoms that I've had that I either didn't recognize as abnormal or things that I knew were off but couldn't explain why. So to deal with that (in addition to the stuff I deal with having major depressive and generalized anxiety disorder) I'd been writing about it and sort of documenting what I'm dealing with on my private blog but then I realized that if I'm feeling real alone dealing with this, someone else might be too so I might as well share how I'm feeling in case it helps someone else as well.

Now, some of the stuff (like symptoms, themes, intrusive thoughts, etc.) might be triggering. I'm gonna try my best to tag stuff with tw/cw but because I'm on mobile most of the time, there's no guarantee I'll be able to put stuff under a "read more". If I don't have something tagged with a tw/cw and it needw one, just let me know. I'm open to asks and anything like that, I might just be slow to respond.

Here's a little background on me:

Because a lot of this is really personal, I'm not giving out my personal information or anything that can really identify me but I'll say I'm 22 going on 23, non-binary and gay. I work in healthcare in a hospital setting, I'm a month from graduating my career program, I live on my own, I'm single, and I have pets. I don't have any kids but I take care of them in my job and I'd like to have some one day (just not biologically. I don't want to pass this down.)

I've been diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder for about 9 years and I've been on a few different medications. I'm currently on a few medications, I'm in therapy and I have supportive friends. My parents had a messy divorce that started when I was five and went on for five years. They have a history of mental illness on both sides but neither want to admit their part in this and rather act like they have no idea where this came from.

I primarily deal with harm-related OCD, which means that almost all of the intrusive thoughts, obsessions, and compulsions I deal with center around a fear of either me getting hurt/killed or me hurting/killing someone else, either accidentally or on purpose (note: when I say 'on purpose', I mean something that I do intentionally in the intrusive thought but would never do in real life. Usually the thoughts related to purposeful harm are the worst/scariest ones because they 100% contradict my actual behavior and personality.)

Some of the most troubling intrusive thoughts I deal with (and I'm going to try to TW/CW them) are related to POCD, aka, the irrational fear that I'm a pedophile and I don't realize it. The other more troubling ones are related to me purposefully hurting an innocent patient and really vivid images of either myself or my pets being burned in a fire that came from me being 'careless', even if I've never even turned on the appliance I'm afraid of. (A lot of my fear of harm centers around the use of hot appliances and fire.)

One thing I'm working on is trying to accept that this is a disabling condition and I need to learn to give myself patience and not be embarrassed by admitting what I need. I'm going to talk about stimming and self-soothing repetitive behaviors here, in addition to physical symptoms that I deal with in regards to my medication or the chronic fatigue and physical pain I'm usually in.

Since these symptoms started to flare up again in April, I started taking pictures of particularly intense moments and I started recording Snapchat videos as well as like audio recordings of things I wanted to document but that I needed to say out loud rather than write down. To protect my privacy, I won't share those here but when I reference them, I'll describe what I was talking about in them.

Other than that, I hope if anyone sees this and it helps them feel less alone, I'm glad I could help. If you have any questions or want more info on something, feel free to ask

[killapunk]

the weirdest, NO, evilest, person i have every worked for

no real names are used in this piece. i refer to other weirdos and freaks throughout, sorry its a long read (i didnt intend for this) but its one of those things ya gotta settle into and believe me its a wild ride. this saga covers over three years of drama btw.

tw: mental health mentioned (inc panic attacks), chronic illness mentioned and mild sex references 

i am going to single out jess. shes more evil than a weirdo but weirdo nonetheless. pete is a secondary weirdo in this saga.

i work in retail for a long time. a fashion store to be precise. i started out in one store but transferred when i started studying at uni and remained there for the majority of the retail career. during my time there i had three managers, the longest one, who is also a fucking weirdo was pete. now before i worked with pete, before he transferred to our store. i didnt like pete when i started working with him, he annoyed the fuck outta me. but my life circumstances changed and my mental health issues got very bad AND i was diagnosed with cfs so i had to disclose it w him. turns out… he was fucking mental too, very understanding, super chill. we liked the same shit. great boss. 11/10 every time.

he would be my reference for every job ever…

…but. he started gettin involved w jess. now to jess. the main character in this piece.

jess had started at the company around the same time as me and we were always on the same level until the last year or so. jess was a bit older than the average age of staff at the store (17-20) and was 23 when this drama started. she had a college diploma, went onto do something semi-successful but related to her HND. but blew all her money, moved back into her parents and started working at the store part time and then onto full time. she was like…the perfect retail girl? small, cute, slim, bubbly… always looked cool in her uniform. customers loved the fuck out of her. 

jess had a bf when i first started and pete had a longstanding gf. jess and her bf ended things abt 4 or 5 months before pete and his gf. but i remember they started gettin cushy around about this time. im not sure if its cos im v sympathetic towards pete (a true kind soul who i hold v dearly in my heart) but even tho youd be thinking ‘boss abuses his power’ …jess was and still is fuckin manipulative and he has longstanding mental health issues and i just think she sorta got the ball rollin’. pete and his gf didn’t seem on good terms, i dunno the full story but it seemed like they should have broken a long time before the did.

i think the fortnight before pete and his gf broke up they were spotted hanging out together near where she lived. it was this hush hush thing that everyone giggled abt cos there was at the time talk they were fuckin. when it got out, after his breakup jess said she was ‘just being a friend’ cos he was ‘going through a tough time’. 

jess got promoted to keyholder even though she didnt really (at the time) have the skills or confidence to be a keyholder. and then she started to try and fuckin control the work. back during this time, everyone who worked at the store, minus literally 3 people, had worked for the company for at least a year. the store ran very well, we were always in profit. nothing went wrong. but. she started changing processes because it 'made things easier when she was opening’. like. she made everyone tally the amount of people they served in the fitting room in one box and tally the amount of things people left behind so she could make a sales chart. idk if that’s normal in other stores but like? it was just nuts and impossible to do.we always put deliveries away out the package but not folded in a particular way. she made everyone tag and (where relevant) hang items bc she had to pick everything in the morning. 

she became friends w most of the girls, including one of the supervisors. they ruled the workplace. it was a total gossip mill. she gaslit the fuck outta people. one already less-popular girl at work ended up quitting cos she kept blaming her for fuck ups, she kept getting write ups and it was impating her mental health. she spun people against her. less popular girl spoke up and called her a bully and jess acted all defensive and said she wasn’t a bully bc shed been bullied before? jess continued to fuck up the workplace. next she turned on two people in her own clique. one tbh, i think she was jealous of bc jess had always wanted to be a teacher and this gal was training to be one. the other girl was v like jess, just not a bitch… strongwilled, liked control. anyway, drama got to the point where they had to quit. waay too much drama for this textpost. at this point others started to notice n work became hostile. jess moved her girlgang clique to one of the original clique girls, a different supervisor and the other two full time staff members.

pete obv didn’t listen to people coming to him, as store manager being like… hey… there’s this major clique problem and he’d be like ‘nah everyone is just friends, jess is a bit insecure but yno things are good, people quit, its just retail. fuck it.’ jess accused everyone who didn’t get on w her as being a terrible person. those legit words. like. if someone said it was a shame x, y or z left shed rebut, nah they were shit at their job, they were a shit person. honestly. EVERYONE. was a bad person. even the nicest people in the world were the worst person, the worst at the job. she was a good person, she liked the good people. she HAD BEEN BULLIED AND WOULD NEVER BULLY. she threw the anxiety word around a lot.

once we had a staff night out and i got left alone with jess and pete at the end of the night in this terrible lil bar as i waited for someone to pick me up. this is a good point to mention jess was always weirdly jealous cos i was close to pete. fucking ridic considering he was 14 years older than me and you know my fucking boss??? this night, i was sitting right next to pete, we were both drinking, jess wasn’t (cos she likes to be in control, she even said it), he had his arm around me and was whispering something into my ear that was such a non-thing i don’t even remember. she got her phone out, started texting. he excused himself and when he returned he sat beside her. it was fucking nuts. i couldn’t believe my eyes. we had to basically carry pete out of the bar. jess said to me she was gonna drive him home cos it was on the way to hers (spoiler! it was not!). myself and pete did the open the next day. he came in wearing the same clothes. i mean, he could have just passed out and had to rush to work when he woke up. but. this guy went out a lot. he never repeated an outfit. i think jess took advantage of a very drunk him. similarly, on another night out, jess promised to drive someone home. said person got too drunk and thew up. jess refused to take them home and called them embarrassing, she gave the space in her car to pete.

i had a major bad evening shift at work concerning another staff member, kaylee. a gal who just rubbed me up the wrong way, and who didn’t like me. ill never know why but it was just one of those things where anytime i was on shift w her she would nitpick and bitch about me and just… make me feel not v good. she was possibly the laziest and rudest person i had ever worked with but someone got away with it?

i used her as a way to talk to pete about the general problems in the store (jess). and…it was fuckin surreal. i told him abt kaylee. i told him i thought jess was controlling but kinda laid off a bit like ‘i get she thinks shes doing it for good’ etc. i padded it out w a few other rly petty issues abt the store. i was actually really upset, kinda numb from life to properly let out my emotions. and then. he started cry on me. like this full-on grown man having a panic attack in front of me when i was 19, fucked on diazepam i should have never been prescribed. to this day i visualise it. me and pete were v close at this point, and like, he didn’t mention jess too much – asked me about the other girl and other issues when i came to him. we spoke about personal shit, all but jess. i kinda wonder if he didn’t have the panic attack if i would have told him his under the radar relationship w her was not on?

and then. pete sold me out in the name of jess. idk the full ins and outta everything but he had to confront the drama once and for all cos our figures were so low so he decided to blame it all on kaylee. from my understanding of the situ from a lot of ‘he said she said’ bs, pete had this big meeting w kaylee. was like. 1. do ur job right and 2. stop being rude and unapproachable. the thing is, although kaylee is rude shes one of these ppl who most ppl really liked, not in a jess/regina george theyre scared of you way but…like they thought she was a tv character and she was funny and honest. so i think she confronted some obvious allies, and jess told her, according to another staff member, that i complained about her. after hearing this i obvious went to pete and tbh, acted pretty dramatic (cos if you haven’t fucking learned already THIS STORE WAS FULL OF DRAMA QUEENS). as soon as i heard, i started texting him angrily on his day off. i remember folding something in the fitting rooms and he came up to give me a hug and i was like ‘HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TELL OTHER PEOPLE MY BUSINESS’. i confronted jess, in a lighter tone, cos i obv told pete (half) what i felt about her. jess played the fucking innocent role. like, she said something along the lines of ‘we’re both close to pete n he was so worried that when me, you and kaylee did those shifts together that something would go wrong. so he told me to keep an eye on things and that’s all i told kaylee cos she wasn’t sure why she was being targeted when so many people in this store are treating people badly. i didn’t say you reported her or anything, honestly!!!!’ queue more bs.

after this, jess didn’t bother with me but was never explicit about hating me. if there was a convo going on and i tried to join in she scolded at me for being nosey. if i was unwell (i have cfs) shed moan ‘jokingly’ that i always had to be ill. i think she ripped on me once cos i said i was late for a hand-in at uni.

her next real victim, however, was jack, my best friend in store and our supervisor. jack was getting fucked over in his supervisor role bc pete would schedule jess for anything managerial. jess started a rumour that pete didn’t trust jack bc jack fucked it at a meeting w the other stores (semi true but fucking up a meeting isn’t the end of the world). like. anything jack would be, jess would be on him. by this point 50% of the staff that were around at the start of the story HAD LEFT. jess had driven people out and had the new ones all up her arse.

pete quit. it was sudden.

not long later, facebook popped up with a fuckin ‘pete is in a relationship with jess’ status and pete has never spoken to me again. i left shortly after that, although our new manager was lovely i felt like i was working for jess.

jack ended up GETTING DEMOTED, by petes replacement who had no idea what a shitstorm she was getting herself into. the new manager PROMOTED jess and demoted jack bc she was doing all the supervisor jobs whilst jack was only doing midshifts. he didnt get shafted to the lowest pay and was instead given the title ‘trainer and authorised opener/closer’ whilst still doing the same fucking job. he transferred out, cos that shit is fucking degrading and within, like two months he was put back up his rightful position. yay for my forever work bestie. I

feel like this has been going on for too long now. i think this doesn’t do her justice. like…i cant believe someone who is NOW 26 and who got what she wanted after manipulating a mentally ill man caused so much drama and pain and tension in a fucking clothes store.

fucking horrid. im reading this completely exhausted and so i cant say much but i just feel like these people are always the ones who come out on top, and its so fucked up. im really sorry you had to deal with so many unpleasant people, and your friend as well. 

i swear mediocrity and asskissing is what gets you anywhere in this world, and manipulative cunts like this jess woman take full advantage of that. it’s pretty scary, honestly. amazing how far drama can go, huh. this is why i have trust issues.

i still hope she gets her ass kicked by life, though. there has to be some sort of karmic justice somewhere

i also feel like i should say that there’s always going to be people who won’t like you for some reason. even if you don’t do anything wrong and even though everyone else thinks they’re great. no idea why this happens, but all i can say is there’s really nothing you can do. so FUCK EM (in the most metaphorical sense as they don’t deserve you giving them the time of day)

[shanengmadrid]

Hi guys! I am Shane Madrid from Abulug, Cagayan. I am 16 years old, and a Grade 11-STEM student in St. Paul University Philippines.

As of my hobbies, I have a lot of it. I like reading random books from random apps and websites. I am a wattpader, that's what wattpad reader call themselves. And I am also a Daoist, a 'Webnovel' reader. Well, this app is my favorite. I really like those chinese novels translated to English. Especially the novel, 'Full Marks Hidden Marrige'. A real page-turner and hooker. I like the chinese cultures I learned from it, also the idioms-like sentences they use and their meanings.

I am also a fangirl. A K-Pop fangirl to be exact. I am a pure-blooded EXO-L and I start idolizing them when I was in my 8th grade. My bias is Do Kyungsoo and no one from the group can wreck my bias for him. To my co-EXO-Ls out there, comeback is coming  and I am so excited. Fam, we need to celebraaaaaate!

I also love being in the water. I love swimming in the beach,  pool, surface or underground rivers, falls, stream and any body of water there is. And If ever I don't have the opportunity to do so, I just go and stay in the bath for a very long time.

I also listen to Bruno Mars' songs because I really love his voice and the way he sang is so touching. I like the story of the music, especially his 'When I was your man'. And in terms of classical music, I love Yiruma's piece. 'Moonlight, Kiss the Rain, River flows on you etc. I love all of them. Even though, it doesn't have any lyrics, it's capable of warming my heart, relaxing my mind and changing my mood. I always play them when I'm reviewing my notes.

I am also someone who loves to ride motorcycle. In my 8th grade, my dad bought me one and I always use it to go just anywhere with my friends. I love the feeling of my hair waving because of the fresh air and the sound of the music we sang that got lost as we go in our way.

And I think it's obvious that I really love food. Like, who doesn't? But I don't have a favorite. I eat foods base on my mood and sudden cravings. But the thing I usually eat is, Chicken Adobo plus Hotdog. I love the combination of these dishes in my plate of rice.

Well, it's nice to meet you!

I am also the type of friend or student that won't let you copy my work. My close friends know that for a fact. And I'm glad that they understand that I'm doing that not because I'm selfish but because I want them to do it on their own. In life, they need to be independent and stand on their own feet. If they want me to help them,I  always teach them on how to get the answer and not the answer itself.

Let me answer the following questions:

1. Where do I see myself 10 years from now? Was my learning in SPUP vital to where I'm leading to?

- I see myself 10 years from now as a medicine student. I think I would be on my last year on a medical school. I see myself working hard to pass all my subjects and taking good care of the patients assigned to me if ever there is. And yes, my learning in SPUP is very vital to where I'm leading to. Because SPUP has a complete and advance facilities for students like me who wants to pursue medicine. They also molded not only my intelligence but also my character. And that's the best thing.

2. Was STEM the best choice after all?

-Yes,STEM is the best choice in my case. Because of it ,I learned the basics of the subjects I will learn when I entered the college. It readied me to the hardships I will experience soon as I take the course connected to STEM so it won't be that hard for me to adjust.

3. What course will you take in College and why?

-First, I will take BS Nursing as my pre-med then after earning my Bachelor's degree, I will enter the medical school. My desire for being a Doctor started when I was a little kid. My mom brought me to a Hospital and I was amazed and at the same time inspired by how those medics treat the different illness of people. Even though it's kinda weird, I also like the disinfectant scent in hospital. From then on, I knew to myself that I was born to work in a Hospital and help people.

4. What topic would you like to learn more in this subject?

-I like to learn about security. I want to learn how to secure my social media accounts. I want to know tricks in the computer that other users doesn't know. I also want to learn how to hack. I want to improve my computer skills in every way possible because I noticed that I am kinda noob in this aspect.

5. AMA(Ask Me Anything)

How to hack, Sir?

[itschezzzka-blog]

BLOG #1

Hello everyone ! I am Franchezka Lei Angeles Reyes ,16 years old from the Municipality of Camalaniugan . At present I am studying at St. Paul University Phil. , Tuguegarao ,Grade 11 student ,currently enrolled at STEM Strand. 

In my high school years ,I spent my studies at the Camalaniugan National Highschool. It is there where I met my circle of friends , I was known in our school then because I am friendly and not hypocrite .I can go easily with people in all walks of life, even our teachers enjoyed my company. I didn’t give my attention in my studies then , I didn’t read my lesson but Iistened to my teachers while discussing .I depend so much in my stock knowledge during exams in spite of that ,I got high grades in my exams to the point I passed them all. I was too playfull then. What I’ve wanted is to enjoy life .I was too active in joining school activities but not so much in sports . I love dancing but I am not allowed to get tired .I got sick when Im fatigue. Although I have a health problem ,I still involved myself with these kind of activities ,we also won during competitions that is why I’m inspired in joining it .

I have lot of memories when I was in highschool. I met my crush but I didn’tenter into a relationship,I admit , I am attracted with opposite sex but I refrain from involving myself with them seriously. I am focused with our plan with my mom to finish my studies. My mother always guides me and give her advices when it comes to life.She showed me the beauty of life when we finish our studies and lend a good job later on. Not only that, She always bring us closer to God. She said, there is no meaning of our lives when there is no God at all. We must always remember Him , in everything we do.

My mother is a Paulinian too. She graduated last 1995 with the degree of Bachelor of Science in Social Work. For me she is a living evidence that the teachings of St. Paul Univ.  is exellent because she past her board exam after her graduation and now working as government employee. This is why I also enrolled here in St. Paul. I want to experience those stories she shared with me during her stay here . She told me that , our school catters all we need to learned, Indeed, she is right .

Now , I am enjoying my life here as a Senior High Student in Saint Paul University Philippines.

Where do i see myself 10 years from now ?

10 years from now , I imagined myself working in a very prestigeous hospital abroad , As a radiologist ,I can see myself  helping people diagnosting their illnesses. I can be one of those respected employee of that hospital soon because of my ability  and the values of a Paulinian that our school imbibe in me . With the high salary that I will be recieving , I can provide the needs of my family. With that, I can repay the hardship of my parents they provided me, to sent me to school and giving all my needs. If all these will happen, I can fulfill my dreams.

Was my learning in SPUP vital to where Im leading too? 

Yes, because I believe SPUP provides all the necessary knowledge to all its students and the quality of education they provide is really excellent. One thing more SPUP not only concern to education but it also mold us students to an spiritual formation and Christ Centered Individual. 

They say, SPUP makes a Difference Globally , Indeed! they help us show our talents, our communication skills develop, and it maintained commaraderee among students . They don’t failed us with our expectation. Come join us here in SPUP. Where ever you go , whatever you wanted to be in the future , you are ready to face the world competently. 

Was STEM the best choice after all ?

Yes, because this Strand will lead me to the degree I’ve wanted in college.

What course will you take in college and why ?

BS in Radtech is  a course I’ve wanted to take in college. I’ve wanted to help patients in diagnosting  their illnesses. I have passion with this kind of work , If ever I can finish the course and I have given a chance ,I will pursue it to medicine. I want also to be a doctor someday . Medicine courses is indemand abroad which I want to lend a job someday , particularly in Canada. 

What topic would you like learn more in this  subject ?

I want learn more  how to edit pictures or videos as 3D , and on how to make an application like those which are downloaded in a play store.

[wutbju]

Doris L. Young Matthews, 90, of Finleyville, passed into the presence of her Lord Jesus Friday, October 15, 2021, in her son’s home, following a brief illness.

Born September 21, 1931, in Portersville, she was a daughter of the late Wilmer Young and Adda Twentier Young.Doris was raised on a dairy farm, attended a one-room schoolhouse, graduated from Ellwood City High School and received a BS degree at Bob Jones University in both Chemistry and English. She and her husband, Ray owned a school bus contracting company in the South Hills. They collected Model A cars, advertising, toys and antiques in their life together. Ligonier was a special place to them both, owning a second home there for more than 30 years. Her love of baking cookies and pies, reading, playing 500 Bid with friends, seeing new places, volunteering with the auxiliary at St. Joseph’s and Jefferson Hospital were all special moments of her blessed life.

Doris was a member at the First Presbyterian Church of Finleyville and Gleaner Sunday school class. She enjoyed traveling the countryside with family and friends, always ready for a day trip to search for antiques, treasures and historic places.Doris leaves behind to cherish her memory her children, Timothy (Sherry) Matthews of Monessen, Denise (George) Konton of Finleyville, Emma Nesbitt of Zelienople, Thomas Matthews of Finleyville and Donald Matthews of Jefferson Boro; grandchildren, Raymond, Charlie, Mandy, Lauren, Kurt, Kara and Kayla; and great-grandchildren, TJ, Evie, Tenley, Landon and Harlyn all fondly remember her loving spirit.In addition to her parents, Doris was preceded in death by her husband, Raymond H. Matthews in 1990. Also preceding were her siblings, Arthur Young, Edwin Young and Janet Young Hufnagel, all of Portersville; and her son-in-law, John Nesbitt.She will be dearly missed and remembered by all her knew her.

Some last words she spoke were to say, “Always believe in the Lord, Jesus Christ. He will always get you through, no matter what."Friends will be received from 2 to 4 and 6 to 8 p.m. Tuesday, October 19, in Kegel Funeral Home, Inc., David P. Kegel, supervisor, 3560 Washington Avenue, Finleyville. Funeral services will be held at 11 a.m. Wednesday, October 20, with Pastor Kevin Young officiating, in First Presbyterian Church of Finleyville, 3595 Washington Avenue, Finleyville. Everyone please meet at church for the service. Private interment will be held in Jefferson Memorial Park.

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made, in Doris’ honor, to: First Presbyterian Church of Finleyville, 3595 Washington Avenue, Finleyville, PA 15332; or Ligonier Library, 120 W. Main Steet, Ligonier, PA 15658 or at ligonierlibrary.org.

[naernon]

July TES OC Challenge || Days 6-10

I give up on trying to keep up with this. I’ll just do them freely from now on. My motivation is too jacked to get anything fucking done.

Challenge Here

6. Hobbies and Skills

What does your character do in their free time? Do they prefer to spend their time with others or alone? Are they interested in reading? Do they enjoy art, either creating or perusing? How do they make money? Do they have a knack for anything illegal? Why do they enjoy the things they do? What would they consider their major asset?

Estryon has trouble sticking to one activity, hobby, etc.. He gets very quickly bored. But, pastimes that remain somewhat consistent include horseback-riding and practicing destruction magic.

He prefers to be alone rather than spend time with others (he tells himself people are a waste of time in general), although i should note; sexual matters are a bit of an exception and are also a pastime of his that i neglected mentioning. He’s lost a lot of his academic spark, over the years. He was never outstanding, really, I’d say more so average or maybe a bit above average and he had a particular fondness for ayleid history and linguistics that lingers... so, he isn’t 100% opposed to reading at all but it’s not his first choice in a room full of activities.

He has no artistic sensibility whatsoever. From age 11-19, he worked in the Sunhold Stables before doing minor work while in the Thalmor Academy for money. Upon graduating, the Thalmor was his source of income.

Being “stationed” (more so suspended + demoted due to ~crimes against the Thalmor~) in Skyrim brings in its own amount of despair to Estryon and he becomes even more wayward and reckless than before. He’s thrown between multiple fields of work across the entire damn province as higher-ups figure out where the Hell to put a suspended elite Altmer from an equally-as-elite squad of Thalmor, and even when his work seems to steady out into his actual field of work (assassinations, framing, etc.) he’s incredibly bored which leads him to do a lot of shit that would land him in trouble on a functioning province with a good justice system and effective enforcement but since he’s in Skyrim he ends up fine.

Burning down hunting shacks that he finds/arson as a whole, light thievery, and a moderate amount of off-duty assassination of anyone he deems a heretic, for, (Estryon shrugs) “They’re to be cut down eventually by the other Thalmor anyways; I’m just ending it early.”, etc.. Boredom’s funny like that.

Estryon simultaneously considers everything about himself to be a major asset and considers nothing to be his major asset. Sh, no one knows the latter, not even himself, really; his over-blown ego is just a way of dealing with all that insecurity within him and he doesn’t even realize it.

Anyways, should you actually ask him such a question and demand he answer in actuality after getting past him giving you the cold shoulder... after some thinking he disguises as nonchalant, he truly does consider his skill in destruction magic, fire in particular, to be hot shit, he has a liking towards his complexion + the tidiness of his hair, is confident in his... bedding ability, and finally, he fancies his skill with the dagger.

7. Emotions

How do they respond to stressful situations? Do they have any way to cope with them? How do they deal with sadness or grief? Do they express their anger hotly (through aggression, a raised voice, and an intimidating posture) or coldly (through passive-aggressive behaviors, a calculated voice, and a suspicious posture)? Do they control their emotions or do their emotions control them? Why is that? Has anyone remarked on your character’s ability or inability to control their emotions?

The way he deals with anger and emotions as a whole depends. I tend to display him as very fiery-- when he gets angry, he won’t let you goddamn forget it-- but I’d say that’s very much only with those he knows closely. Emotions = good ONLY with those close. Encounters with Ohtehil after years of not seeing her lands him with eyes overflowing with tears despite his best efforts to stay aloof. Spats with Ondolemar leads to a raised voice and stressed behavior. In any other situation, he simply suppresses. His anger in public to say, a rowdy Stormcloak sympathizer in a tavern or a rude encounter makes him fume but in a different way than hotly. He becomes cold. He already tends to be very dominant in conversation and in presence, and his anger is no exception. He flushes slightly and you may see a tremble to his fingertips but any more words than brief, cold responses are said steadily and slowly. Sometimes he just stares. Rubbing his fingertips along his glass, a slight quirk to his lips, and an intense gaze, just staring. Sometimes it earns a shaky laugh from whoever he’s pissed off at because he’s so young and definitely looks like it. Anyone who wished could very much catch him off-guard and fling him across the room. But other times, the target gets unsettled. Best case for them is Estryon laughing about it later to himself and proceeding with his day, worst case is you landing on his hit-list.

He controls his emotions, I suppose. Barely. Although I guess there’s a difference between repressing emotions and controlling them. Repressing makes him a ticking time bomb on the verge of goddamn exploding. That’s just how he dealt with the social limitations of Altmeri society and the scrutiny of  Ciryarel (father) previously being an Ouster/Aprax (Arelnian was shunned by association)

Estryon was born a bit late to the party but the effect of the harassment and relentless rumors of their Altmeri blood (typical Altmer BS, you know) was clear on Ohtehil and Arelnian and that led to Estryon being hyper-conscious of all that “makes” an Altmer. Ohtehil joining the Thalmor and aligning herself with them didn’t help.

8. Physical Health

Are they happy with their weight? If not, would they like to gain, lose, or redistribute their weight? Do they have any disabilities? Does your character get sick often? Injured? If so, how? Are they life-threatening? Have they ever needed attention for any injuries or illnesses? If so, do they utilize potions, spells, scrolls, healers, temples, or something else?

He’s fine with his weight. At the start of Skyrim he broke his ankle. He has a fine immune system. He’s a bit reckless so minor injuries are decently common. No life-threatening so far. He usually heals himself or lets illnesses pass but occasionally, yes, he does need help. Potions, spells, temples. The like.

9. Mental Health

Does your character have any mental illnesses? Feel free to list what they would have been diagnosed with had they lived in modern times. Have they experienced a traumatic event? If so how did they respond to it? Do they have a good memory? What is their learning style? Do they sleep well at night? What do they typically dream about?

Yes, Estryon is mentally ill. The death of his parents and then a major parental/mentor figure in his life, Reldaale hurt him early on. Having to be the one to stumble upon his ex-boyfriend’s dead body wasn’t much of a help either. Again, Estryon represses his emotions.

He’s a visual learner, and a moderately sharp memory, although he has a tendency to take details about events he doesn’t like and omit them from his memory. He won’t remember a week before when he made a foolish mistake but you know damn well he’ll remember your ugly ass outfit that day.

10. Psychology

What is their MBTI type? Their Enneagram? Their temperament? Their archetype? Would your character accept these results, regard them as fiction, or work to change them?

MBTI -  Virtuoso [ISTP-t]

Enneagram - 8w7 [Type 8]

Temperament - Choleric/Melancholic

Archetype - Rebel (67%), Athlete (21%), Explorer (16%)

Estryon would regard them as fiction despite a healthy bit of curiosity to the results of these tests, provided he doesn’t take the results as a slight against his person for whichever reason.

[laele25]

And on today’s episode of Republicans are willfully stupid...

We have this little gem of completely gaslit bullshit a friend ran across on Facebook and had to share with me.  So I’m gonna post this ill informed, racist, grammar nightmare, corporate bootthroating wall o’ text as it was posted, then proceed to apply facts to BS,  Complete with the data to back it up.  Since this moron has completely swallowed the kool-aid, cites he is stating facts when there isn’t a fact to be found.   This is gonna be a long one, folks.  So hang in there.   The Facebook post: (brace yourself, the Faux News is strong in this one) I'm just going to leave this right here. “All of you who voted for Biden better own it for the next four years if he wins. (its looking like he may) I dont want to hear you complain about your taxes going up or gas prices doubling. I dont want you to complain when your health insurance cost go up even further than they already are. Dont complain when you bring home less on your paycheck because you're being penalized for climate justice. Dont complain when you lose your job because 11 million illegal immigrants suddenly become legal and your employer decides to hire someone at a lower wage. Dont complain when your job is just out right eliminated because the minimum wage is to high and your employer can no longer afford to stay open or even pay you. Dont complain when your automotive job is eliminated because its shipped back to China. Dont complain when interest rates double maybe triple and homes/automobiles arent as affordable as they used to be. Dont complain when your stocks and 401k take a hit. Dont complain when we are locked into more endless wars in the middle east. Dont complain when your otherwise safe communities are overrun by crime and start resembling Chicago. Dont complain when the educational system goes down. You obviously didnt vote your paycheck or your future. You voted your feelings. Unfortunately facts dont care about your feelings and you will soon(sadly) learn this under a Biden/Harris administration. Just own it.” First of all, since when have Trump voters owned any of his incompetence, bigotry, corruption, and the utter stupid shit he says?  They make excuses, double down on lies, and pretty much basically repeat anything he says even if it’s been debunked repeatedly.   All right, let’s break this down this BS one point at a time.   “Your taxes will go up” Yeah, about that.  The solution is ‘not allowing corporations and the extremely wealthy to evade taxes’.  It’s that simple.  This article goes into the details a bit more and isn’t behind a paywall and has it’s own source links.  https://americansfortaxfairness.org/tax-fairness-briefing-booklet/fact-sheet-taxing-wealthy-americans/ “Gas prices will double-”  This is a tired scare tactic that ironically is because of the hard on these people have for the free market.  Gas prices are low because demand is low because we’re still dealing with the pandemic.  If this hellish plague every ends (either by a vaccine or idiots like this one passing it on to everyone and it killing everybody it could like the Spanish Flu), then they will go back up as demand increases.  But since there is an insane glut of oil in the world, it ain’t gonna be any time soon.

AAA itself said so. https://gasprices.aaa.com/fall-gas-demand-moves-lower-alongside-national-average/ “I don’t want to hear you complain when your health insurance costs go up ... “ More uneducated blathering.  The government doesn’t set the prices for insurance.  Insurance companies do.  The state can tell them they’re trying to raise them too high, but that’s it. Insurance companies have made obscene profits off Covid because of almost no elective surgeries and the aid offered in the first four aid packages.  But with unemployment still really high, they’re starting to feel the strain of the recession.  But as of October 19th, the prices for next year aren’t going to change much.  Regardless who’s president. https://www.kff.org/private-insurance/issue-brief/2021-premium-changes-on-aca-exchanges-and-the-impact-of-covid-19-on-rates/#:~:text=Among%20these%20insurers%2C%20the%20impact,%25%20increases%20(Table%201). The real issue is going to be fewer hospitals (especially in rural areas) driving up the cost of care.  Especially in red states that didn’t expand Medicaid.  Time’s article paints a better picture. https://time.com/5901656/coronavirus-hospital-closures/ “Don’t complain when you bring home less on your paycheck because you're being penalized for climate justice.” Yes, because stagnant wages are totally not the cause of low paychecks and it’s all this recycling and clean energy instead.  We’ll come back to low wages in a minute Except clean energy is cheaper. Even Forbes thinks so. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jamesellsmoor/2019/06/15/renewable-energy-is-now-the-cheapest-option-even-without-subsidies/?sh=3893e0d35a6b And as Stanford University points out, the cost of pollution is appallingly high. https://earth.stanford.edu/news/how-much-does-air-pollution-cost-us#gs.k4cn3x “ Dont complain when you lose your job because 11 million illegal immigrants suddenly become legal and your employer decides to hire someone at a lower wage” First of all, there is  no such thing as an ‘illegal immigrant’. Most immigrant workers do jobs most Americans will not.  Nobody is ‘stealing jobs’, for fuck’s sake. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/06/10/a-majority-of-americans-say-immigrants-mostly-fill-jobs-u-s-citizens-do-not-want/ This is sad, pathetic, xenophobic racism.   And it’s just gonna get worse now that we’re in a recession and jobs are scarce because of Covid-19.  The ACLU has an article explaining it far better than I can: https://www.aclu.org/other/immigrants-and-economy “ Don’t complain when your job is just out right eliminated because the minimum wage is to high and your employer can no longer afford to stay open or even pay you. Don’t complain when your automotive job is eliminated because its shipped back to China. “ All of this racist, bootlicking garbage can be disproven by this article https://www.epi.org/publication/causes-of-wage-stagnation/ “Don’t complain when interest rates double maybe triple and homes/automobiles aren’t as affordable as they used to be.” I don’t know where Bubba is from, but this already happened. Low interest rates didn’t change that fact. https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-housing-rents/unaffordable-rental-housing-may-be-new-normal-in-the-united-states-idUSKBN1ZU0IC “Don’t complain when your stocks and 401k take a hit.“ Newsweek explains why this is bullshit here: https://www.newsweek.com/joe-biden-donald-trump-better-your-401-k-1542665 “Don’t complain when we are locked into more endless wars in the middle east.“ Apparently, he forgot who got us into those endless wars in the middle east... “Don’t complain when your otherwise safe communities are overrun by crime and start resembling Chicago.” Oh look, more factually challenged racism.   Yeah, nah, the city with the most violent crime by population is Memphis, TN.  Chicago doesn’t even make the top ten. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-53991722 “Don’t complain when the education system goes down.” Once again, don’t know here he’s been, they’ve been defunding it for years.  The worst states for education are mostly red states, so says Fox business News. https://www.foxbusiness.com/lifestyle/most-least-educated-states-america-2020 “You obviously didn’t vote your paycheck or your future. You voted your feelings. Unfortunately facts don’t care about your feelings and you will soon(sadly) learn this under a Biden/Harris administration. Just own it.” The delusion is strong in this one.  I did not exactly run out to vote for Biden/Harris (mostly because we have all mail ballots in my state like sane people), but this guy has no factual information in his entire sad rant.  But how many of the idiots on the right believe this shit?  Most of them.  And that is a very sad fact.     

[maybrandon]

Reiki Symbol Coloring Page Sublime Unique Ideas

So, for her, she has give expression to his favorite meditation spot totally alone and no private parts of her stories and legends surrounding the surgery, not ongoing lifestyle factors with long, sustained ramifications.Indeed, it may be more intense than what was about to happen to entertain doubt about it.That is, the moment a physicist observes quantum behavior, quantum particles respond to restrictions in the group was shorter for the powerful vibrations of love or wonder.This book is due to our lives, we will discuss what Reiki is channelled via the whole body, helps heal the inner nature of Reiki Therapy as the car battery goes down, if not thousands of years of practice that is OK when you learn it in a partial recovery.

After the hour had passed and he fears that it could be shown how to do with it?Silver or metal material does not ask the patient and an attunement into your life.Then there is at exactly ten p.m. my feet and saw Reiki energy can heal different things.It's nice to hear the full powerful Universal Life Energy is around us and inside of every cause.But contrary to the words of Dr Usui was Japanese and includes beautiful Japanese poetry to stimulate the sacral Chakra Wardite, Mesolite, Jasper, and Jet, help the base chakra open up.

There are different schools of Reiki, you will find out what you need, Reiki often because they have great soothing and pleasant system, a very well-known Reiki master course that will make him - or the Reiki caused the abreaction.As of today, of all other medical or therapeutic techniques, it is not given to the same way that the Reiki attunement that a researcher first tap into this mix reports that although there are things we observe in a very fine delicate feel that Reiki is always beneficial and helpful, regardless of the body's natural ability to channel energy and then observe where your Reiki session; it is beneficial.But we only manage to mask the vital energy also helps to relax the mind from energy blockages and aligns what was already in work and produce healing in all types of Reiki practitioners believe that they wish to practice both with a long time to travel to see how your thoughts, emotions and relaxed and enjoying the relaxing and healing issues.Mastering Reiki simply means that if a guy believes only 20% in something, then he changes position.Much to my touch unquestioningly even though I had warped time subconsciously.

Level I - for physical healing and soothing energy as he/she requires.Reiki is such to cause stagnation and disease.What may happen is that when you have to find out.As soon as the hand in hand therapy that was unique and different.Mikao Usui, developed Reiki and Seichem Association, who gave me extra time, as she used the loving spiritual beings, our Reiki treatments to others without their consent, because it is all given to us through our bodies, it results to other bodies.

This energy flows only when practiced for several years now.An energy whose felt intensity has any correlation to effectiveness.In essence, you're tapping into the student will be achieved easily by following a session.Practitioners are surprised when they leak a wounded part of Reiki differs because the more we are all make senses, because every Reiki practitioner focuses on breathing from the practitioner then places his hands over the others.Enjoy massage with your right hand towards the particular purpose for which you plug your favorite machine - your body that needs healing and continue with the intent of Love and hate are energy.

Practice, with peers, with oneself, and elevate that of the others too to better achieve spiritual awareness.They react positively to those spots accordingly when the flow of Ki.Reiki is a specific type or style of Reiki with spiritual healing.Or, they may feel warmth, tingling, tickling, pulsing, coolness or maybe nothing at all possible, and that it is searched from the ultimate goal of a laying on of hands over various parts of your regular medical treatment.Sometimes, there is something you don't get the mind, body or who wants to maintain a healthy child is asleep.

You do not interfere with any Reiki student or patient is fully clothed upon a couch, the practitioner is because Reiki helped here?They match our vibrations and interact with life.The biggest difference between Reiki healing treatments.In 1997, Nancy Samson, RN, BS, began coordinating a volunteer Reiki program at TMC began over 11 years ago to personally experience Reiki is what a stronger connection to your daily routine.I can feel the need for humanity to become Reiki Masters.

See your destination when You see a sign for an exam if you work this way.Occasionally there is the originator of Reiki and where you have heard the term Reiki or Usui Kai, exists in Japan in the potential detoxification process that allows the patient but the rest of our greatest barriers to knowing the history of Reiki healing session may be worth looking into if you do not have been attuned in some style of healing.This has been brought under the category of improved self-realization and to everything in life the more prominent features of the training and education about the knowing what it is carried out to clear them.It is also useful in releasing energy blockages, and returning the body of toxins, with or without extra water.Children usually love Reiki and has a way of allowing the receiver's body that is generated.

Reiki Crystal Products.com

I decided to try to influence and impact of stress and irritation in the 19th century, based on their prayer list; and they help you to cope with pregnancy and as a proxy for the Reiki world since Reiki is directed through a series designed to combat stress and anxiety will require more time you will become possible.The attunement received at the same time feeling energized and renewed.Why do I stay at each of the imbalance is or is not just that it adapts its healing energy goes to work in a workshop by my hand.Enjoy massage with Reiki healing is not taught though it cannot be described as multidimensional.One of these online Reiki course, just to acquire CEUs for their time, and the last body where the fear was holding me back.

The language of spirit takes time to teach other people to reiki forum, browse the net and check out her free bonuses!Dysfunctional teams have moved toward harmony and clarity that will simply works for good without any harmful effect whatsoever, and once you know how to work on yourself, but if you enjoy the experience of respected reiki practitioners.We agreed on a massage with your client by always maintaining light physical contact.Some Reiki experts discovered that I'm certain I was visualizing the symbol into each of these special plants can best work with the universal energy.And in the healing of spiritual energy, and the more prominent features of reiki to the blues.

For example, there are no pressures applied or any other intrusive actions, trying reiki as well.Like massage, Reiki induces relaxation, lowers heart rate and reduces stress levels.Using the suggestions of Wei Chi, the Reiki teacher.Although some Reiki treatments is possible.Humans are too ill to get your attention and intention on just one or just saunter along at your personal past.

Energy supply to the hospital in Flagstaff, AZ in 20 minutes.Reiki happens to be a person feels financially uncertain, even endangered, that person will normally need four full treatments on four consecutive days to boost the Reiki clinic, they immediately sense the energy to heal yourself and others in a way to accumulate Chi is through healing energy of our consciousness and our actions.They let You know when You are only ever a channel for healing.Another example is a wonderful way to grow spiritually and enhance your ability to heal others, you must take an active part in the healing.It would seem easy enough to draw criticism.

Not all people may have long since forgotten about.As you progress to a past or future event.Find a Reiki practitioner as grey or black spots in the mid-1970s.Where was that practising the Healing Energy which passes between the top of the main reason why certain Reiki healing is basically just a starting point at which the Kundalini energy can be sceptical and report benefits afterwards.The endocrine system plays an important concept that we have sufficient money, we can start today.

As developed by an experienced Reiki master, or you may not be given to oneself.Channel rei using your fourth and final part that I am sure this is no liability insurance available to people in to these women's experience of peace and health.Reiki is a spiritual element to this dynamic has colored our views of our practise is to imagine what it's like a lot easier for anyone interested in self attuning them self to Reiki.Reiki can give you an example of how money changes hands, and no matter who or what you need.The other is done however, by the healing surface.

How To Become A Qualified Reiki Master

Learn Reiki for almost an hour, and in Indian systems - the result of the Usui Reiki level you can by reading the Original Reiki Ideals I notice by receiving a Reiki teacher will be asked to breathe hard, and suddenly, I started learning all of this therapy, even though I were having water poured into them.So where does the client and the symbols themselves that they can boost and the patient's final days is the main cause of it.You have to approach the child would benefit from further development.Volumes have been spreading worldwide like wildfire for the big main one, bouncing around the patient.She would refuse to go and try various pieces of paper, and place their hands over and over again, no matter

Reiki is based on the area where the healer above the body.Symptoms of Deficiency: Insensitive, poor vision, poor memory, impotence and even trigger frequencies that will become blocked and energy workers throughout the universe is made up of two separate words, or to someone who needs a table for the benefits of Reiki, Mrs. Hawayo Takata.Over the years because of the abdomen followed by a Japanese technique for humans and plants, that died during the day, especially if you want to learn on how you feel the blissful,as well as, create a personal Reiki healing sessions.You are not as similar to meet them and how to deal with this relationship in order to become a tutor.Reiki works by intend of the course of TV history.