#10 cent adventures

[fastasyoucan1999]

well i love you the way a bedsheet loves to hold everything within its body as it’s washed and dried in the big perilous machines.

[havendance]

[transcript: The fact is, I love him.]

Nooooo!

Greg Rucka you were doing so well! I was actually enjoying sasha and now she's just randomly pining after Bruce because heavens forbid he doesn't have a doomed love interest for an issue

*grump grump grump*

[beholdmystuffz]

DC Comics - Superman The 10 cent Adventure! (March 2003)

[tanadrin]

There is an obvious objection to evolutionary models which assume that our strongest social ties are based on close biological kinship: many humans just don’t like their families very much. And this appears to be just as true of present- day hunter-gatherers as anybody else. Many seem to find the prospect of living their entire lives surrounded by close relatives so unpleasant that they will travel very long distances just to get away from them. New work on the demography of modern hunter-gatherers — drawing statistical comparisons from a global sample of cases, ranging from the Hadza in Tanzania to the Australian Martu? — shows that residential groups turn out not to be made up of biological kin at all; and the burgeoning field of human genomics is beginning to suggest a similar picture for ancient hunter-gatherers as well, all the way back to the Pleistocene. While modern Martu, for instance, might speak of themselves as if they were all descended from some common totemic ancestor, it turns out that primary biological kin actually make up less than 10 per cent of the total membership of any given residential group. Most participants are drawn from a much wider pool who do not share close genetic relationships, whose origins are scattered over very large territories, and who may not even have grown up speaking the same languages. Anyone recognized to be Martu is a potential member of any Martu band, and the same turns out to be true of the Hadza, BaYaka, !Kung San, and so on. The truly adventurous, meanwhile, can often contrive to abandon their own larger group entirely. This is all the more surprising in places like Australia, where there tend to be very elaborate kinship systems in which almost all social arrangements are ostensibly organized around genealogical descent from totemic ancestors. It would seem, then, that kinship in such cases is really a kind of metaphor for social attachments, in much the same way we’d say ‘all men are brothers’ when trying to express internationalism (even if we can’t stand our actual brother and haven’t spoken to him for years). What’s more, the shared metaphor often extended over very long distances, as we’ve seen with the way that Turtle or Bear clans once existed across North America, or moiety systems across Australia. This made it a relatively simple matter for anyone disenchanted with their immediate biological kin to travel very long distances and still find a welcome.

love the idea that humans avoiding their annoying family by moving hundreds of miles away is part of our ancient evolutionary inheritance

[finnlongman]

Working theories about the processes at work in the Babyfication of Cú Chulainn in the 17th-19th century Ulster Cycle tales:

All of these late stories position themselves as taking place before Táin Bó Cúailnge. This is obvious from the fact that Fer Diad is present in lots of them, but is also just narratively convenient for them, I think.

Cú Chulainn is 17 in TBC, so our starting point is that he must be younger than that.

Generally these stories position themselves as occurring after Tochmarc Emire/Foglaim Con Culainn. Again, this is partly evident from the presence of Fer Diad. Some of them overlap slightly with it.

Cú Chulainn's age in TE isn't stated outright, but following the Boyhood Deeds, he might be as young as about 6.

He must therefore be aged between 6 and 17 when all these stories take place.

Tóruigheacht Gruaidhe Griansholus, the oldest of these stories (1679), states that he is 15 -- presumably with the primary intent of firmly locating the story before TBC. The Ulaid are concerned about the idea of him going off an international road trip alone because of his age, and express this concern, but he does it anyway. His youth is occasionally referenced, but on the whole he is much as he appears in earlier texts: a skilled and precocious warrior.

Eachtra na gCuradh and Coimheasgar na gCuradh come next (early 18th cent). They notice this detail in TGG and decide to elaborate on it further: Cú Chulainn is younger than 15, and is going on adventures only in the company of other warriors; it is occurring pre-TGG, making that his first solo adventure.

Because he is too young to go on adventures by himself, and because those responsible for him are frequently concerned for him, this gives the impression that Conall et al are babysitting him.

Eachtra na gCuradh appears to take place before Coimheasgar na gCuradh. CnC introduces Láeg and by the end of the story, he and Cú Chulainn have teamed up, ready for TGG. Conall appears slightly less protective of Cú Chulainn, so we can conclude he is slightly older than he was in EnC, when he is very baby (and when Láeg wasn't yet on the scene).

His age is not stated outright in any of these, but I would guess he's aged between 10 and 14. This is based purely on relative chronology and may not hold up to close scrutiny.

Sgéalta Rómánsuíochta are the latest stories (maybe 18th century but preserved in 19th century version). They're not super interested in Cú Chulainn, preferring to foreground other characters. His babyfication makes this easier, since he can appear as a child sidekick (to Ailill Fionn, in the first story), or in a similar capacity to EnC and CnC -- the youngest/most junior member of a group of warriors. Across the four stories, he could be anything from about 7 to about 14 again.

Theories about intertextuality:

Tóruigheacht Gruaidhe Griansholus and Coimheasgar na gCuradh both provably draw on the Stowe version of Táin Bó Cúailnge. There are details that can't have come from any other version of TBC (or any other text that survives). They are not the same details in both texts, so it's not that CnC drew on TGG: both drew on Stowe.

Since EnC is probably by the same author as CnC, we can assume he also had Stowe.

EnC's inclusion of Manannán mac Lir might suggest knowledge of Serglige Con Culainn.

CnC alone of the very late tales (i.e. EnC onwards) includes Láeg, with characterisation details that obviously come from Stowe TBC. Again, it doesn't seem to derive directly from TGG (there's a detail I'd expect to see there if it did); both go back to Stowe and so have similarities but have developed them differently.

All of them are probably drawing on Foglaim Con Culainn; in some places it seems like there might be some reliance on Oidheadh Con Culainn as well. There might be some evidence of drawing on Oidheadh Chonlaioch, particularly the attribution of teaching to Aífe rather than Scáthach, although I know there are also late verse versions of this that might be a source rather than the prose.

SR may be more distant from its source material with heavier reliance on these intervening texts -- there are lots of phrasal similarities between EnC/CnC and SR, but Ó hUiginn disputes the earlier proposal that they were all by the same author and thinks SR are definitely later.

That's what I've got so far. I doubt anyone has suggestions because I don't think anyone has cared about these texts for a couple of centuries, but if you do, hit me.

I am partly writing this post so I can keep track of these thoughts for later, although my PhD corpus ends with TGG, so I won't be talking at length about the others there. (They may come up in passing, though.)

[badbatchsprincess]

Heated ~ pt.21

Pt.1 ~ Pt.2 ~ Pt.3 ~ Pt.4 ~ Pt.5 ~ Pt.6 ~ Pt.7 ~ Pt.8 ~ Pt.9 ~ Pt.10 ~Pt.11 ~ Pt.12 ~ Pt.13 ~ Pt.14 ~ Pt.15 ~ Pt.16 ~ Pt.17 ~ Pt.18 ~ Pt.19 ~ Pt.20 ~ Pt.21 ~ Pt.22 ~ Pt.23 ~ Pt.24 ~ Pt.25

Masterlist

Summary: This is an ABO Bad batch!Poly x Omega Reader smut with a plot. This takes place as an AU before order 66. Y/N previously served under the 501st before being transferred to Special Forces 99. This is her adventure with these rowdy Alphas in a quickly changing universe.

THIS IS AN ABO AU ABOUT THE BAD BATCH (NO CANON OMEGA!) Due to the unfortunate situation of her name being Omega… Omega the child from the canon series is not going to be apart of this fanfic/porn with a plot. I feel obligated to put this warning in because it makes my skin crawl thinking anyone could make that mistake. 

Warnings: Smut! Short chapter my b.

IM NOT DEAD!!! woooo! Sorry there's been such a big break from my posting but I'm going to get back into finishing up this story and getting our precious pip back to her pack. Don't worry! And thanks to everyone sending messages and commenting you make my day and really help me stay encouraged to write. So thank you!

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

You stared at your reflection in the mirror, gazing at the somewhat hollow figure of yourself. 

The monstrous silver collar weighed heavily on your spirit and collarbones. 

You traced your fingers over the indents where you had used a butter knife in a futile attempt to pry it off. Stolen from the mess, of course—it had been confiscated immediately. (Imperials are no fun.)

This followed the explosive outburst after that dreadful meeting in Tarkin’s office. 

The fight you put up required multiple troopers to pin you down, with the help of Crosshair to calm you as they forced this constricting collar onto you. Your screams had echoed throughout the entire base like the roar of a Zillo beast.

That was two days ago.

You didn’t even have the strength to get out of bed. It was so dehumanizing to be reduced to this… breeding stock? 

You didn’t know. 

You couldn’t think about it without feeling sick to your stomach. It made you itch with rage. The fantasies of murdering Tarkin were becoming more gruesome by the hour.

The 104th tried to visit, but you just curled up in bed, trying not to cry. Their voices and concern only reminded you of the 501st. You did your best to stifle your grief. They left with forlorn expressions and a curt shrug from Crosshair when they asked when you’d come out again.

Crosshair tried to nudge you out of bed, but you just burrowed deeper into the blankets, determined to remain in solitude. He sighed and left you be, feeling your despair through the bond.

Now, here you stood in your apartment bathroom, wearing Crosshair’s clothing, poking at the reminder of your purpose here. 

Your neck was raw from tugging at the collar; Crosshair had smeared bacta on the open sores that morning, and you looked at the red healing lines. 

You were suddenly overcome with the need for your other alphas. You craved the security they provided. Even when you were on the run, doing strange jobs for Cid, you felt secure with them. 

You missed their warmth, their hands, their pleasure… your home. You just wanted to scent them again, curl up in your nest, and never leave.

You looked back in the mirror and ran your fingers over the Aurebesh engraved in the metal:

“Property of CT-9904.”

You stared into your own empty eyes and decided enough was enough. The Imperials were winning if they could break you.

Fascist fucks. 

You took a deep breath and steadied yourself, willing your spirit to lift. 

Enough moping. 

It’s time to fight.

Grabbing the leather tie belt from the counter, you wrapped it around the large shirt, tying it at the waist to resemble Jedi robes. Then you pushed yourself away from the sink and turned toward the main living space. You grabbed a pair of slippers, hit the door lock, and stepped out into the hallway, making your way to the training center.

Crosshair had been ordered to track down your pack and had to pretend nothing was different. His new team of stormtroopers were inexperienced and desperately needed Crosshair’s knowledge if they were going after the Bad Batch. He had been working with them for the past few days, preparing them for this high-risk mission.

It wasn’t long before the security detail filed in behind you, following Tarkin’s orders. Two 104th infantry men flanked both sides, keeping a respectful distance but serving as a reminder that you couldn’t run far without being caught. You chose to ignore that last detail, but whatever.

Omegas and Alphas pressed themselves against the walls to let you pass. This was the one change you noticed drastically since your little show in the cafeteria and your grand escape from the facility. You were not an omega to be trifled with. You noticed the other omegas didn’t dare meet your gaze. Good. Stay away.

You had a reputation to uphold.

Descending the metal stairs, you floated down the corridor to the training rooms. Inside were endless rows of workout equipment for the regs, but more importantly, the open training mat where Crosshair was running drills with his new squadron. He sensed you immediately and gave you a discerning glance before turning his attention back to his men. However, you scented the alpha you were looking for. On the viewing platform, Wolffe sat watching Crosshair in silence. You filed in next to him, sitting down in acknowledgment.

“It’s good you’re up,” he said, keeping his gaze fixed ahead.

You sighed. “Can’t let them win. Not even the small things.”

He nodded. “You’re right.”

You nodded in return. “Did it work?” he asked.

You nodded again. “Light turned green. It’s just a matter of time.”

“Good.” He smirked. “I heard all about it from my men.”

You stifled a laugh.

“You would have made a remarkable Republic spy,” Wolffe joked. “Missed opportunity.”

You hummed.

“So, you really had a thing with a reg?” Wolffe asked, turning to face you and leaning back on the bench.

“It was a long time ago,” you said, giving him a sidelong glance.

“Didn’t think regs were your type,” he gestured toward Crosshair with his chin.

“It wasn’t a relationship. Just an… understanding,” you explained.

“I get it.” Wolffe smirked, clearly remembering something fondly. “We may be clones, but we’re still men. Alphas at that… The Republic had a pretty big budget for bunker bunnies.”

You whipped your head around, wide-eyed.

“What?” he laughed. “Your boys didn’t tell you?”

You gawked. “No!”

He snorted. “Yeah, every permanent base, and sometimes they’d bring in a ship for extended encampments.”

You were floored. You had no idea. Then you looked at Crosshair, trying to picture shiny Cross, Hunter, Wrek, Tech, and Echo experiencing that for the first time. You giggled, knowing there was probably some trauma related to that topic.

“What?” Wolffe was amused with your musing. 

“I’m just thinking about my pack. Oh god. I can’t believe all of the 501st was getting down like that and I had no idea.” You buried your face in your hands and laughed. 

Wolffe laughed too, “You really didn’t know?” 

“No!” You shook your head, “I thought quarterlies was like random people!” 

Wolffe snorted, “No darling, there was a special sector just for the girls back in Coruscant. They had the whole floor to themselves. Hundreds of omegas.” 

You squealed, “Oh my god.” 

“Ya know, I recall seeing Echo and Crosshair there a lot now that I think about it. Even your Sergeant a few times I think.” 

If your jaw could hit the floor it would. 

“Yeah. They liked to pop the shinys early. Get them accustomed to being around omegas at an early stage. Nothing worse than the first rut ya know?” 

“And Kamino?” You scrunched your brows. 

“Yeah thats where the first ruts happen.” Wolffe said like it was obvious. 

“Maker.” You shook your head. Images of your pack loosing their virginity flooded your mind. You felt Crosshair’s curiosity spike the bond. He was probably wondering what had you feeling like that. You could feel his eyes on you from across the room.

“Is that not common for nat borns?” He asked curiously. 

“No Commander, it’s not.” You shook your head, “You usually just have it happen naturally, most go through the first heat alone. Then when you’re an adult you might find a partner.” 

“Hmm.” He pondered. 

You were overcome with images of a young Tech trying to understand his alpha instincts. Probably fumbling around confused… poor baby. You shook your head. 

Oh god… Hunter… poor thing with his hyperdrive senses. That must have been so overwhelming the first few times. 

Then you thought of Crosshair. There was no way young Crosshair was ever awkward. He probably knew exactly what to do from the start… that man was too cocky to be anything else. 

You knew he was a whore from the get go… you giggled to yourself.

You’ll never forget that time on one of your first missions with the batch, you saw the way he finessed an omega into banging in a bar bathroom with such ease. It had your mind reeling for days after that. 

You remembered having to rub one out in the marauder fresher to take the edge off after imagining him with that omega for hours. He had come back looking throughly fucked. His hair was mused, his skin glowing from sweat, and the strong alpha scent radiating off of him made the whole ship reek of Crosshair. The others carried on with dinner as usual but you couldn’t help but let your mind wander. That’s when your thoughts about your squad had started, actually. 

The thought made your body suddenly warm. 

Wolffe must have sensed your smell change as he peered at you softly. 

“Excuse me.” You said standing and walking towards the mat directly at your mate. Your guards stayed behind with their Commander while Crosshair ordered his squad to keep practicing their drills while he tailed after you. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked as you lead him over between a row of punching bags. 

You just grabbed this hand and slapped the door panel dragging him into the nearest supply closet and shutting the door behind you. 

The lights fluttered on as he peered down at you, confused by your sudden behavior. 

You felt your heart quicken seeing him in his all matte black imperial amor. It felt so wrong to be turned on by it but, damn did he look good. So tall, so masculine. So… Alpha. 

“What, omega?” His voice dropped an octave sensing your becoming flustered through the bond.

You looked up at him meeting his steely gaze. You felt your core pulse, “Echo said you all had developed feelings for me when I first transferred, but I never told you when it happened for me.” You felt your chest starting to heave trying to keep up with your sudden rush of arousal. 

His smell was crowding you in a delicious way, like a warm embrace. 

He narrowed his eyes at you and backed you slowly into the near by shelves feeling your pulsing through the bond. He could feel your desperation to cum. He could almost smell it. 

He raised a brow playfully. 

“Remember when we were on Nal Hutta picking up that weapons supply from that shady dealer?” You recounted feeling the steel shelving pressing up against your spine. 

“And you had tripped and fell into the baby sarlac hole?” His memory clearly differs from yours. 

You nodded, “My shoe had been chewed up and the others left you and me in that bar while they hunted down a pair of new boots for me?” 

“Always loosing your shoes huh ad’ika?” He smirked and joked.

“You picked up that omega at the bar.” 

He narrowed his eyes not sure where this was going but listened regardless. 

You panted feeling the heat radiating through the bond and the wetness growing in your panties, “When you finally found your way back to the marauder, I had finished up dinner with the others… You smelled so good and you looked so different. And after knowing what you were doing…”  You remembered the rush of heat that had flooded your cheeks that night. 

Crosshair ran a finger lightly along your jaw making you shudder against the shelves. 

“What about it, omega?” He trailed his fingers to your cheek where he rubbed your skin softly. He could feel the heat in your cheeks now. It made his trousers tighten. 

“Something had changed. I couldn’t get your scent out of my mind. I had to finger myself in the fresher just to get to sleep.” You admitted with a whisper. 

He flashed you his teeth in a wicked smile, “That wasn’t even two weeks after you transferred.” 

“I know.” You sighed as his hands ran down your sides spreading their strong warmth making you purr and flex into his touch. 

“You’ve been imagining me fucking you for all that time?” He asked reaching around to squeeze your bum. You mewled and reached for his breast plate. He slotted his leg between yours pinning your hips to the shelf. 

You nodded. 

“Poor thing.” He whispered. 

“I didn’t ever take advantage of quarterlies because I didn’t want anyone else.” You sighed into his lips. 

“You already knew you belonged to us ad’ika.” He claimed. 

You nodded pathetically. 

“Every mission. Every time you’d come back covered in mud or blaster residue.” You whimpered grinding yourself down onto his leg, “I felt bad hoping you’d need me to patch you up. I just liked being able to scent you.” 

He guided your hips up and down his thigh. You bit your bottom lip holding back your moans. 

“Why did you tell me this now?” He asked adding more pressure to your core watching your face scrunch up as the pleasure was bleeding into your system. 

“I just remembered.” You whimpered, “Then it made me horny again.” 

He chuckled, “It’s your heat coming love.” 

You groaned as a particularly nice ridge rubbed up against you, “Fuck.” Your head slumped against his shoulder. He used a hand to grab your hip helping to guide you along his thigh. 

“Why do you have to look so good in that?” You mumbled. 

“In what, love?” 

“The armor.” You whimpered leaning up to look at him with bleary eyes. 

He smiled and leaned down to kiss you. You moaned deepening the kiss desperately feeling your orgasm starting to approach. 

“You like it, huh?” He smirked pressing kisses to your forehead while he pushed your hips down harder against him. He loved the way you twitched and squirmed under his hands.

You nodded suddenly feel the crest of your orgasm. 

Then it all stopped. You whined as Crosshair pulled away only for a moment before flipping you around harshly and bending you over a stack of near by shipping crates. You gripped onto the cool steel as he flipped up the bottom of his shirt you were wearing and yanked your panties to the side before shoving his joggers down and pulling out his leaking cock. 

You bucked up against him feeling his tip rub through your folds. You let out a pathetic whimper as he continued to gather your slick… too slow for your liking. 

“Alp-“ you were cut off as he surged forwards filling you to the absolute brim. 

You both sighed feeling each other so closely and you tried your best to grind back against him but he continued on pinning you to the crates to create a steady rhythm with his hips. 

“You were always such a good little medic, cyar’ika.” He praised, “I also would be a little reckless sometimes just so I could feel your hands on me.” He ran his hand up your spine to your neck where he fisted the hair at your nape, “We all did.” 

He chuckled thrusting a little harder making you yelp, “Our little omega.” 

“Cross.” You whined pushing back against him. The need to come was all consuming and he, like the good alpha he is, could seem to feel it through the bond. He reached down between your legs and starting making circles against your clit making you jump from the pleasure. 

“Fuck.” You moaned barking down feeling the crest approaching. You also felt Crosshair start to tense up letting you know he was close. His energy was thrumming through the bond intensifying your own sensations making it nearly unbearable. 

Then finally, with a pinched yelp, you bit your lip harshly as you came. 

“Good girl.” He praised into your ear. 

You slumped against the shelves, letting him hold you up as you regained your footing. With the urge to mate now abated, you began to return to normal.

“It’s coming soon,” you said, looking up at Crosshair with worried eyes.

“I’d be lying if I said I wished we had more time,” he sighed, nuzzling your head. “My brothers will need enough time to make a plan.”

“They can do it, though, right?” You wondered, suddenly feeling skeptical.

“They can do it,” he said confidently. “I just don’t know how we can be ready.”

You nodded, understanding his concern. It was frustrating being on the inside and having no idea what was going on.

A ping broke the silence, making both you and Crosshair look down at his com.

“Nala Se wants you in her lab,” Crosshair said, sounding resigned.

You took a deep breath. This couldn’t be good.

“Try not to fight her,” Crosshair sighed, petting your hair and tucking it behind your ear.

“You’re not coming?” you asked, suddenly filled with anxiety.

“Only if you want me to.”

“I do.”

He nodded and then tilted his head toward the door.

You exited first, grabbing onto Crosshair’s arm as he walked the two of you to the lab. Fortunately, the walk was quick and short. Nala Se’s office was just inside the infirmary, where a few regs were getting their check-ups. A couple of mating bites were being cleaned and treated, while others had come in for deep scratches down their backs. Clearly, the regs had been busy.

It didn’t escape your notice that every single one of them turned to look as you passed by. Crosshair’s presence was intimidating enough, but they couldn’t help but be curious about his mate. You could smell their scents spike as you walked past, clearly intrigued by your unique smell. Some even tipped their noses up to get a better whiff.

Crosshair approached the private lab and opened the door, allowing you to step inside and leave the room of wandering eyes behind you.

“Y/N,” Nala Se’s floating voice made you tense.

You stared at her, keeping your grip on Crosshair.

Crosshair looked down at you before addressing Nala Se. “What did you need my mate for?”

“She’s been ordered to have her remaining birth control dissolved in anticipation of her upcoming heat.”

You couldn’t help but lean a little closer to your mate, feeling your anxiety increase.

“Shouldn’t it just dissolve on its own?” Crosshair questioned. “I’d like to avoid putting her through more stress than she’s already had.”

“While I would normally agree, these orders have come from the Admiral,” Nala Se explained. “He wants to be certain she’s fertile.”

Crosshair looked down at you again. Knowing you both had to go through with this, he gently nudged you forward, and you climbed up onto the exam table. Crosshair stayed close, while Nala Se prepared the injector.

You nuzzled into Crosshair’s chest, and he soothed you with gentle back rubs. You felt Nala Se approach and press the injector to the implant site. With a quick jab, the dissolver was administered, and you felt the cooling medication spread under your skin. You flinched slightly when she pulled away, and Crosshair quickly nuzzled your cheek to keep you still. A small badge was applied, and then you were effectively dismissed.

“Once her heat begins, we will need to be informed,” Nala Se reminded you as you practically yanked Crosshair out of the lab.

In mere seconds, your scenting abilities came to life. Everything around you seemed to brighten. Crosshair’s heady scent enveloped you, followed by the unmistakable smell of regs. It was overstimulating.

You winced as you entered the infirmary. Crosshair noticed and knelt down to get a good look at your wild eyes, sensing your panic through the bond.

“Is it happening?” he asked, looking worried.

You shook your head. “No, no. I just… I can smell everything.”

“Let’s get you back,” Crosshair said, standing.

“Actually, I require your mate for one other test,” Nala Se said, appearing with her holo pad.

“It can’t wait?” Crosshair snarled.

You patted him gently on the shoulder, reminding him to stay calm and that you were okay.

You followed the long-necked alien back into her office, letting Crosshair remain at the door like a glorified bodyguard.

“I require a sample of your DNA,” Nala Se explained, leaving you to stand in the middle of the sterile white office.

“Blood?” you asked.

“Yes,” she blinked before grabbing her tool.

You held out your hand, letting her draw blood from your palm.

“Why are you doing this, Nala Se?” you questioned, watching her take your sample and not the sequencer. “Why would you help these people?”

“The Empire destroyed my home, and they’re threatening my loved ones,” she deadpanned. “I’m not here of my own volition.”

You were shocked she answered at all. You had always thought she agreed to help because of the money promised to the Kaminoans by the Republic. You had no idea they had destroyed everything. You didn’t know she was a prisoner herself.

You nodded. “Then that makes two of us.”

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Sorry this chapter is so short. I'm getting back into the swing of writing with my schedule, and according to my outline this was going to be a short/filler chapter anyways. Buttttt don't worry I'll be posting more regularly again.

Taglist: @substantial-exposure

@rains-on-kamino

@minimissmoo

@z-and-the-batboys

@aynavaano

@9902sgirl

@sideofhorny

@sxftiebee

@booksandtitts-blog

@subbing-for-clones

[imagineitdearies]

not a Perfect Slaughter question but Astarion one. you remember that scene in goblin camp where a Loviatar priest and PC can do an impromptu bdsm session? Astarion's reaction always confused me. he seems to be strangely into it for a person who experienced a lot of non consensual sex with physical violence sprinkled on top. like yes, he could be faking it (it's act 1 after all) but he gives a lot of approval points for it.

is it just a case of him being his usual gremlin self? or is he more amenable to the show now when he isn't the one on the receiving end of a whip? also at this point in a game i doubt he cares too much for PC (reminds me abt his remark "i don't like seeing you hurt" or smth along the line).

and more generally, what do you think is his stance on pain play and d/s stuff in the bedroom? anyway would like to hear your musings on this, ciao <3

Hey anon!

I'm no Astarion expert compared to some in this fandom, but this is a scene I've thought a lot about the implications of myself so I'll offer my two (very long-winded) cents. I'd love to hear others' thoughts as well!

I agree that Astarion's big approvals should be isolated to the context of when in the game he's giving them. Based on his smaller approval points in Act I, when Astarion starts out this journey he seems to like watching people get treated how he once was. Just a few really early examples:

Tav* making Lae'zel say please (Astarion begging Cazador)

Tav making Zorru bow (Astarion having to bow in Cazador's presence)

Tav prodding Nettie's injured bird till it dies (Godey flashbacks)

Tav telling Mayrina's brothers they won't help (no one ever helping Astarion)

Tav terrorizing Lorin/entertaining his delusions (☹)

So we could argue Astarion is just leaning into this sadistic trauma response in the Loviatar scene as well. He finds satisfaction, however temporary, in seeing others endure what he once had to, and reassuring himself that he's on the winning/powerful/in control side this time. AKA not the weak pathetic person he feels like he was before. The self-loathing is subtle, but not far under the surface.

Considering he often disapproves of Tav being self-sacrificing and weak in other instances, however (usually when it's on behalf of others), why does he highly approve in this certain instance of Tav submitting to pain and injury for seemingly no good reason?

I think the timing of this scene in Act I makes a big difference, considering it's deep in the goblin camp where the party is usually at least a couple levels into their adventure. So in that case, Tav is the established leader, Astarion's vampiric nature is revealed, and they've survived quite a few encounters together already. Some trust has been built. Astarion is more assured of Tav's strength, competency, and willingness to keep him in the group....but that assurance of Tav's strength could be crossing over to feeling unsafe again.

There's plenty of other chaotic, less-sadistic things that he likes (BAAAA!), but almost** all of his big +5 or +10 approvals come from Tav agreeing to something that makes Astarion feel safe and/or powerful. So perhaps Astarion wants Tav to say yes to the Loviatar pain ritual because he views it as a show of strength. He might feel safer knowing that his leader can not only handle pain, but is so entirely unafraid as to welcome it even in the midst of a dangerous goblin camp--something Astarion's 'weak' past self never would have done (cue the self-loathing again).

Based on how eager he sounds when encouraging Tav, though ("don't you dare say no!"), I like to think that he's playing it off as sexual but in reality wants to assure himself he's not with another Cazador. While Astarion is likely to follow Tav regardless, I think he's more interested in being intimate with Tav--if he hasn't already--after seeing that Tav is okay with not always being in charge and assertive, in control. I think, especially at the start, Astarion craves control after not having it for so long, and this kinky display tells him Tav wouldn't mind him taking over for a little while.

Which, at last, gets us to your question about Astarion's views on "pain play and d/s stuff in the bedroom." I think it's telling that Astarion has a +5 approval during the first sex scene if Tav rolls over and lets him bite, and no matter which final romance scene you end up with in Act III, he's depicted as the top. If he ascends, he quickly jumps into what I'd call a permanent d/s dynamic with spawn!Tav where's he's the one in control, made all the more evident with the new kissing animations for patch 6. Plenty of implications to be had, about his preferences.

Now (and these are entirely my headcanons/opinions from here on out), Astarion just isn't in a place for what I'd consider actual healthy d/s dynamics in the bedroom during or immediately after the game timeline, as his mindset is too rooted in fear, self-loathing, and desperate grabs for control. It's been days, weeks at most since he was tortured and controlled on the regular--a lot of this stuff could be triggers and provoke flashbacks, or at the least reinforce the idea in his head that sex is a tool of manipulation and control. Truly safe, sane and consensual d/s acts just don't seem on the table--he goes through a period of not wanting sex at all, much less intimacy where so much trust is required.

But post-game, with enough time? I could see spawn!Astarion*** eventually enjoying some light bdsm in either role, maybe pain play beyond bites if he was the one giving, not receiving the pain. Which all could be a healing experience for him, with trust and aftercare involved. He wouldn't make it on my list of 'top three kinkiest companions' though 😂

Anyways, this is all very much my personal opinion!! Astarion is a fascinating character with so much nuance, there's endless ways to interpret him. And maybe he was just feeling extra chaotic and kinky that day 🤷‍♀️ "Ah, drink it in - that sweet, sweet chaos. Not that I approve of goblins, of course - filthy little beasts - but I do like a good den of debauchery."

Thanks for the question anon. If nothing else, I hope these ramblings entertained! 💙

*Tav represents Tav, Dark Urge, and origin characters in this post

**The one exception that I can think of is the +5 approval for letting him interrupt during the bugbear/ogre scene. Chaos gremlin indeed.

***Ascended!Astarion's characterization and lore is just a bit too inconsistent and vague (in my opinion, of course) for me to analyze a future for. Press (x) to doubt that he can eventually practice safe, healthy bdsm on the side with spawn!Tav while he does his evil stuff and tries to take over the world, but maybe??? Lol he doesn't make sense to me.

[c-l-y-d-e]

The crochet adventures continue:

I've been making do with a grand total of three hook sizes (3.5, 5, 10). Already feeling a bit limited by these options but not wanting to let my new hobby spiral out of control by buying excessive new shit, I called up my mom and asked if she had any crochet hooks kicking around. She is exclusively a knitter, but also a borderline hoarder, so no surprise when she said YES. She has all my nanna's old hooks (plus others that she's accumulated over the years, still unopened with prices like 35 cents):

RIGHT. I was not prepared. I remember watching nanna crochet extravagantly delicate doilies and napkins (and curtains, and tableclothes...) when I was little, but seeing anew all those minuscule hooks for lacework has me reeling. LACE. by HAND. I have a newfound appreciation for the skill involved (and patience? and irrepressible strength and conviction to preserve ones sanity?) that cannot be understated.

(though I'm intrigued by the idea I left the tiny lace hooks and took only biggest hooks there were to bolster my collection - I now have a full range of 2.5 to 6mm hooks!)

[st0rmyskies]

Emergency Commissions - Closed!!

Thank you everyone for the help! Commissions slots are all filled, tips are still always welcome. I will advise if any additional slots open up in the next few weeks.

So if you’ve been playing along at home, you may know that I returned from vacation this week to find that my central air conditioning unit died. Our house sustained some damage from the system overheating. Repairs/replacement are going to run in the five-figure range and they can’t wait, since July in my area of the world means brutal heat. 

So in the spirit of “well fuck me I guess,” I’ll be opening a limited number of emergency writing commissions slots, not to exceed eight depending on the scope of each work and the amount of interest I receive. 

Be advised that this is a one-time thing. I don’t intend to reopen commissions after this financial burden passes.

The Basics

I write for the LoZ and LU fandoms and will accept commissions for either in-universe writing or one of my own AUs (Townhouse AU, Count Darkula, the omegaverse series, etc.).

I will write crack, fluff, angst, spice, horror, murder, whatever. Choose your own adventure! 

If you’re interested in something sweet or spicy, I’ll write Linkshipping, Zelink, MidZel, GanLink, lesser-known characters, you name it I don’t care. I’m a multishipper at heart.

Characters can be cis, trans, unspecified, doesn’t matter to me.

I’m always happy to try on new spicy themes, even if it’s not something I’ve written before. This is a judgement-free zone, even if I end up saying “no thanks.” Seriously, just run it by me. I also have a handful of existing WIP options in the list below if you need any inspiration.

You get to choose whether this is a work to be published or if you’d rather keep it for your own private enjoyment. No price difference between the two options, I don’t care.

Not sure what you’d request? If you want, you can sponsor an active WIP. This is literally more bang for your buck, since I’m not going to charge you for the words I’ve already written. Once you snag a commission slot and leave your deposit, I can send you a sample of one or two works if you’re having a hard time choosing between options. Think of it like trying different flavors at an ice cream bar. An extensive list of my active WIPs appears in my pinned post. If sponsoring an active WIP for an ongoing series like HSH or LMTCOY, that work will be published.

Do you have an unfinished WIP of your own that you’d like to see finished but don’t have the time, energy, etc.? Throw it my way and we’ll see what we can do together! Once again, you are only charged for the words I put into the work in these cases, not the total word count. I will only be taking on up to two of these types of commissions.

The Nitty-Gritty

Pricing is 2 cents per word. I'm flexible with regards to word counts but I suggest the following tiers:

500 words - $10

1000 words - $20

2000 words - $40

2500 words - $50

A deposit will be required to lock in your commission slot on a first-come first-served basis. Deposits will vary based on the tier you select with any remaining balance due at delivery, if applicable. If I end up going over a bit and wrote 525 words for a 500-word slot, oh well, bank error in your favor.

Deadlines are TBD between myself and the commissioner depending on the scope of the work and the number of responses I get. Could be anywhere from a few weeks to a couple months. I don’t see myself letting commissions drag on past 3 months. 

Feel ready to take the plunge with me? You can send me a DM preferably via discord (st0rmyskies) but also through tumblr and we’ll get to work!

The Fine Print

You must be over the age of 18 to commission me.

Commissions are not to exceed 2500 words unless we negotiate otherwise. WIPs listed at larger word counts excluded from this rule.

If sponsoring an active WIP or work in an ongoing series, I may already have a plot and end goal for the story, so specific requests (e.g. “I want Twark to break up.”) may not be honored. I can do a one-shot of such scenarios, though, even if they’re outside canon plans.

I will not write for someone else’s series (e.g. “Can you continue this story from [author] that’s been abandoned?”).

No original characters.

I reserve the right to decline any request for any reason.

Can’t commission, but want to help?

You can leave me a tip via Venmo or PayPal, or signal boost on tumblr, discord, wherever. We need all the help we can get! 

Thanks so much for reading this far, friend. Any help with spreading the word is appreciated. 

- St0rmy

[justkillingthyme]

As a Former Clark Hater (rehabilitated) I think I can provide some insight.

The first scene between Luke and Clark is not a very good first impression that's for sure, and it doesn't help either that their reconciliation is in a bonus episode instead of the actual game so it's easy to miss.

Like i think the person who said he's a bad father is taking that from his strained relationship with Luke during LS/the fact his son would rather hang out with Hershel "child endangerment" Layton and how Clark is either unaware of or ignores the fact they've nearly died several times and ACTUALLY died once. Like if you skip the aforementioned bonus episode you could come out with the impression that Luke likes to spend time with Layton partly because it gets him away from his home life.

Or they're just projecting their daddy issues onto Luke like I was for all my first playthrough of Last Specter.

Clark is a good father, but he isn't perfect and he's portrayed with some realistic flaws that people could latch onto to make the case that he's a bad dad

Definitely!

In the og trilogy we all just kinda glossed over the fact that Luke is just some little kid following hershel around everywhere. I never once thought about his parents like. At all until I played the prequels. He also just gives orphan vibes yk

Adding my own two cents here, I’m not sure that Clark and Brenda know about exactly what happens during the adventures. I can see Hershel assuming that Luke would tell his parents. And I can see Luke being anxious at the possibility of not going on adventures with him again and lying/downplaying what happens on the adventures to stay. Big miscommunication all the way around.

And on that note, I do think there’s part of him that doesn’t want to be at home! One of Luke’s big things is that he doesn’t like being or feeling infantilized. He’s smart for his age, and acts maturely, and gets upset when (Emmy in particular but anyone in general) treats him like he’s a kid. Which he is. He’s anywhere between 10 and 13 throughout the series, and after ED really they should’ve stopped taking him on adventures (or at least not let him come when it started getting dangerous).

But one of Hershel’s big things is that he respects people. He treats Luke like an equal, and that’s one of the reasons that he’s so attached to him.

That and the fact that everything is different after LS. You can’t just go back to normal after all that time, you know? Even if logically everything should be the same, having six months without your mother, and fully believing your father was responsible sticks with you. Those feelings will linger, and that’s another reason I think he was so eager to go with Hershel after LS, even when he just got his mom back.

[alexandra-emerson]

A project, an announcement, and a plea!

THE PROJECT I’m working on my first original romantasy series right now! It’s a blend between the premise of one of my favorite movies, ‘Stranger Than Fiction’—where the MC realizes he’s part of a novel and can’t break out of it—and the vibes of ‘Divine Rivals’—with that beautiful romance stemming from an enemies-to-lovers relationship. There is so much to love in this story: cool magic, a mystery plot, an adventure, an enchanted forest, pining, slow burn, and angst (of course!). Dramione fans, you’ll love these characters. They bring all that fun banter and delicious sexual tension we adore.

THE ANNOUNCEMENT Because I’ve been missing that lovely collaboration of interacting with readers while I shape my story, I’m going to start posting late-stage drafts of my project on Kindle Vella. This is a newer platform that is like the original work version of AO3. Authors post “episodes” about once a week and readers engage with them by liking the episodes and commenting along the way.

MY PLEA Will you come support me over on Kindle Vella? The first three episodes are FREE, so you can get a sneak peek of my story and give it some love if you like it. More likes and reads will position my story better on the site so other readers can find it. And if you’re feeling extra generous, you can join me for the whole ride by purchasing episodes for about 10 cents each when they come out every week. I’d love any support you can provide! You all have no idea how much I miss hearing from you as I write.

DETAILS Here is a link to the story on Vella. Unfortunately, this platform is only available to people with US Amazon accounts. If you live outside the US and still want to read the first three episodes of my story for free, comment below and I’ll send them to you in a Google doc.

If everything goes to plan, I’ll be back at the end of the year announcing the publication of book one of this trilogy which will be available to EVERYONE, so I hope to see you all then!

[bad-comic-art]

superman the 10 cent adventure

-----------------------------------

submitted by @sapphicflash

[thehomelybrewster]

Natural 1s & When to Call For An Ability Check

Inspired by recent discussions about the "ethics" of save scumming in Baldur's Gate 3 and that game's decision to treat 1s as automatic failures and 20s as automatic successes both for saving throws and ability checks, I wanted to give my two cents.

This generally applies to all systems that use a DnD-style for these sorts of mechanics, where you roll a single die by default and add a relevant modifier to it, but I'll use DnD-centric language because of obvious reasons.

Now naturally in 5e that rule which is applied in BG3 does not exist. It was proposed as a rules change for the 2024 revision before being scrapped, yet I also know that plenty of tables run with this house rule and several DnD-inspired games have it baked in as a regular rule.

I generally don't like it, especially the automatic failure by rolling a Natural 1 part. Of course success and failure are relative. The typical example for this is the royal audience scenario, where a player character makes an outragous demand of the monarch, rolls Persuasion, and rolls a Natural 20 and expects that request to be granted, even if it's something ludicrous such as being made the official heir to the throne.

If I was playing a game that used this type of rule or had to DM for a table that expected it, I'd treat Natural 20s for impossible ability checks as an avoidance of negative consequences rather than as an opportunity for a reward. In the aforementioned scenario, the monarch wouldn't immediately try to arrest the daring adventurer for treason, for example.

Still, I'd normally treat this sort of attempt as an unprompted roll and a joke, ignoring it completely, because as a DM you have enough control over the table that you can determine that a roll shouldn't take place. After all, would you respect a player that attempts an unprompted melee attack roll when the next other creature is outside of that character's regular movement speed?

With failures coming from a Natural 1 however there are different ways you have to handle them. Personally, with ability checks in particular, I'd handle a table that requests or requires that rule the following way: if the player character attempts a check with a DC that's equal to or lower than their modifier for that ability check, no roll is required.

If the bard has a +11 to Acrobatics checks, they will always (!) dodge out of the way of a DC 10 trap. A rogue who has reached the point where they get access to Reliable Talent will always handle ability checks with skills they're proficient in perfectly if the DC is 10 or lower. No roll required. Failing those rolls goes against the choices the player made when building these characters over time.

Now with saving throws, I love this rule! Giving a barbarian with an Intelligence score of 10 that five percent chance to see through the DC 22 illusion feels good! Same with the rogue having that five percent chance to not fully evade the effects of that fireball spell a goblin is getting out of a stolen wand.

But with ability checks... Consider when to call for a roll, what a failure means, and what a success means before you implement this house rule.

[golbrocklovely]

that one anon manifested mlp’s return! she was back on stream and talking about how whenever her certain someone went to coachella he cheated on her!

not quite sure how that’s plausible when even she said they were never official but okay

ain't it strange i get this ask and then this same info pops up on someone's ngl on twitter…. how interesting.

imma put my two cents in and call it a night on the shea talk. bc i haven't had to talk about her for almost two months, and i would like to keep that going. but god, the amount of times shea has changed her story is kinda funny at this point lol

in case those of you have missed it, she claims that her and colby were on and off again for almost 10 years - which that alone proves he was not in anyway cheating on her since they were never fully a thing/never committed completely.

but then she said that they did date for a bit but then went back to being in the talk stages and stayed there for a while.

but then she claimed they were a situationship.

but then said that they never had sex, so it would have to be an emotional situationship which just flat out isn't a thing.

but then she said they were serious enough to meet each other's families and talk about getting married and having kids.

but then she also said they weren't ever truly official.

so…. which is it?? were you guys serious enough and dating the whole time secretly (even tho he was seen with COUNTLESS girls over most of the course of the time period she claims they were together) or…. and just hear me out shea fans, SHE'S LYING????????

crazy concept, i know. but maybe she doesn't tell the truth.

that's not me saying that colby's a saint in all of this. but there's no way he's the best boyfriend ever and also a serial cheater that's she's only complaining about now.

bc let's get back to your ask. colby, to our knowledge, has only gone to coachella twice publicly. once in 2019, once in 2022. okay, 2019. so he cheated on her…… and then by december she's back with him at jc's party??? and even before that he wished her happy bday on twitter, and she thanked him and liked posts about it on insta.

that's a weird way to act with someone that apparently cheated on you.

okay, so 2022. maybe that's when he cheated. however… the person he was seen with at coachella, six flags girl, he had been hooking up with since 2021. or is she referring to stas? which then means he cheated on shea with six flags girl (for a whole year basically) and then also stas….. who then continued to want to be with him until shit hit the fan on that whole thing. but wasn't 2022 also the same year she was blaming all of the fans for "ruining" adventure buddies with all of the shipping??? bc i have proof of her liking comments saying fans ruined adventure buddies. which… if he cheated, wouldn't exactly be the fans' fault.

you let me know when she starts making chronological sense. and maybe then i'll start believing her :)

[twistedtummies2]

Top 10 Portrayals of Mrs. Hudson

The last time I did a list related to the “supporting cast” of the Sherlock Holmes universe, I did a Top 10 of my favorite takes on Inspector Lestrade. Today we’ll be going over the other member of the “Baker Street Family,” Mrs. Hudson.

Mrs. Hudson is a character whom I often feel gets overlooked in the grand pattern of Holmes’ cast. She’s not really a major player in most of the original stories, but her presence is a fairly constant one. Like Watson and Lestrade, she essentially acts as an anchor, bringing some semblance of sanity into the wild madness that is Holmes and his world. Some adaptations barely make use of her, but a lot of my favorites play up the relationship between herself and her tenants in some fun ways. Mrs. Hudson is usually shown to be a sort of surrogate mother to Holmes, in more ways than one: she loves him dearly, but she’s also always in a tizzy over his hijinks, and forever put off by his rude behavior. 

The two flip-flop between genuine affection and sniping at one another constantly…but no matter how often they fuss and fume, each genuinely couldn’t imagine being without the other. She is just as valuable a member of the team as Watson, or any member of Scotland Yard, and just as persistent a character. Very few Sherlock Holmes adaptations are without her, even if she’s just there for a few moments. For, as one version of Holmes rightly stated: “Mrs. Hudson leave Baker Street? England would fall.” Picking my favorite versions of Mrs. Hudson was really quite difficult, but I think I managed to arrange and choose some winners from the bunch. With that said, let’s see those winners now! Help yourself to some tea and muffins: these are My Top 10 Favorite Portrayals of Mrs. Hudson!

10. Alison Leggatt, from The Seven Per-Cent Solution.

Honestly, I mostly chose this one because of the actress. It’s hard for me not to enjoy the Queen of Hearts as Mrs. Hudson.

9. Candis Cayne, from Elementary.

An interesting modern interpretation of the character to say the least. In this series, Miss Hudson - rather than Missus - is a slight latecomer to the show, and acts as a maid rather than a landlady. She’s a recurring character throughout the show, but ultimately not as prominent as one might expect after her initial appearance.

8. Mrs. Judson, from The Great Mouse Detective.

Voiced by Diana Chesney. While her role is very small, her brief scenes have always been quite memorable to me, and I felt this list wouldn’t be complete without this rodent reimagining.

7. Geraldine James, from the Guy Ritchie Films.

By far the most snarly relationship between a Holmes and Hudson of practically any version. I wish there had been some more genuine warmth between the two, but I will say that their banter is quite amusing.

6. Pat Keen, from Without a Clue.

In this film, Watson and Holmes effectively swap out, as it’s revealed the doctor is the real mastermind with Sherlock as his bungling sidekick. Mrs. Hudson is one of the few people who knows the truth, which is only fitting.

5. Mary Gordon, from the FOX/Universal Films.

While Mary Gordon didn’t really DO much throughout these movies - nor in the radio show with Basil Rathbone & Nigel Bruce, where she was also a constant presence - something about her was just so memorable. She brought a sort of befuddled warmth to her scenes, and it’s worth noting that she was the only character, aside from the original Dynamic Duo, to appear in every single movie to some degree or another.

4. The Version from Moriarty the Patriot.

Much like Elementary, this version of the character is called “Miss” Hudson, and is depicted as much younger than usual. She’s something of a comic relief figure, but she still manages to work as an excellent take on the character. I love the sort of big sister/little brother relationship she has with Sherlock, and while, again, she rarely actually DOES much, she’s always fun to see in action.

3. Rina Zelyonaya, from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson.

It was hard to choose between my top three takes on Mrs. Hudson, as all of them are pretty close together, and could all be considered arguably the definitive takes on the character, in my opinion. In this Russian series, Zelyonaya’s Hudson is a wonderfully experienced old lady. You get the feeling she’s known Holmes since he was still VERY young, and knows him better than anybody, even Dr. Watson.

2. Rosalie Williams, from the Granada Series.

This is one of the most “motherly” versions of Mrs. Hudson, in my opinion, in the way she interacts with both Holmes and the good doctor. I love her moments of temper and authority, but I also love her moments of genuine concern and care when they come out. I think one of my favorite parts of the show was all her scenes in “The Empty House,” and how excitedly she gets involved once she realizes Sherlock is still alive.

1. Una Stubbs, from Sherlock.

Much like Rosalie Williams, this version of Mrs. Hudson has one of the most overtly motherly demeanors of any version. I love how she’s so sweet and bubbly on the outset, but then as the show goes on you realize there is a real steel underneath that seemingly frail surface. Like most of the other major cast members, it was neat to see her go from the modern world to period Victoriana in “The Abominable Bride,” and I was very sad to learn of her recent passing. A marvelous depiction overall.

[weirdo-from-bonesborough]

Barbara 'Oracle' Gordon first appeared in Detective Comics #359 "The Million Dollar Debut of Batgirl" (1967). This means Babs is worth one sixth of Steve 'the Bionic Man' Austin, otherwise known as the Six Million Dollar Man. Additionally, DC released "Superman: the 10 Cent Adventure" in 2003. Adjusting for inflation, that would mean that in today's money Barbara Gordon is worth $9,122,814.37, and Clark Kent would be worth 91 Cents, meaning Barbara Joan Gordon is worth ten million Supermans. As she fucking should be.