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eff-plays · 23 days ago

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Long Taash storyline rant by an enby 2, electric boogaloo

I think I finally figured out what to say about Taash's storyline so walk with me here.

It smacks a little bit of white lib homonationalism. If you don't know what homonationalism is, it's when Western countries see themselves as enlightened for being "more" accepting of queer folks compared to other cultures, and when this is used to justify racist (particularly anti-immigrant) politics. Usually you'll have far-right wackos claiming to be so so so pro-gay rights that they simply MUST keep the immigrants away in order to protect those sweet fragile white gays, who will surely be totally fine under a fashy regime.

Now, I'm not a sociologist and I might be talking out of my ass by making this connection. But as a nonbinary, non-white first generation immigrant, who was raised by a single mother who wanted to be free of the politics of her home country and thus moved in order to create a better future for me, when I played the Taash storyline, I got the distinct feeling that the writer of it either had a blissfully conflict-free coming out, or that they have no idea how complex the interplay of identity and culture can be. Or that they're a white lib who thinks getting somebody's pronouns right is more important than being an open-minded and fundamentally compassionate human being at heart.

Thing is, I understand what they were going for, kind of. In isolation. It was supposed to be a tragic death where Shathann finally revealed that she accepted her child as they were, right before dying, and it left Taash feeling like they were cut off from her when things were finally looking like they could be fixed. At least they know their mother loved and accepted them at the end, which makes it bittersweet, right?

But that's kind of what pisses me off about this, y'see. Because in practice, Shathann died for the sin of unknowingly misgendering her child, and for attempting to call them trans instead of nonbinary specifically. And she died because it was the easy way out for the writer -- kill the complex mother who comes from a culture deemed problematic in order to avoid dealing with how they'd move forward together, and how their cultural upbringings would clash with yet be mitigated by their familial love for each other. Help Taash choose between Rivaini or Qunari now that their mother's influence and opinions are gone and they don't have to wrestle with her culture anymore, just what they themselves think of it.

I don't think Taash's mother has any actual right to decide which culture Taash belongs to, that is Taash's decision, but the writers know that her influence would still make things more complicated for Taash. And we can't have that, right? Taash has to decide for themselves, as is their right, their right as a queer person to make decisions independent of and not affected by their mother's backwards culture. Their queerness takes priority, nay, dictates how they relate to their nationality/cultural belonging. Anything that might infringe upon that holy self-realization must be removed.

Y'see where I'm going with this? Y'see why it makes me a little uncomfy?

Now for the part where I put my on stink on it. My mom does not get my being nonbinary. She asked me a bunch of really ignorant and gross things when I came out in her attempt to understand it, or rather, refute it. The whole discussion lasted for about 2 panic-filled hours, and I don't think I changed her mind on anything. She still makes uncomfy comments about trans people. She still misgenders me, though this is partly due to our mother tongue not having any gender-neutral pronouns.

And yeah, all of this hurts, no doubt about it. But the thing is? My mom still loves me. She shows it with nearly everything she does outside of this enby stuff, but even with this stuff, she never pushes me to be more feminine. She said she'd switch to my new name if I ever decide to change it. She once apologized for putting "female" for me on a form she had to fill out because there were no nonbinary options. She bought me a perfume for men just because I idly remarked it smelled nice.

And I know what you're thinking, and yes this is a difficult situation to be put in. It's hard, but it happens every day, in families like mine. When your parent was raised to believe one thing, and have for decades, and they're confronted with something new, the switch won't be instant, or happen at all. And I knew that before coming out to her.

I was Taash's age when I came out to my mom, so Taash would've known that, too. And what's even more frustrating, is that Shathann doesn't even resist the revalation, like my mom did. She tries to apply a concept she is more familiar with in order to understand Taash, but since that concept isn't 100% exactly what Taash identifies with, she's in the wrong, immediately. Taash blows up at her for not instantly getting the name and concept of a completely new term dropped onto her head. And all we can do is console Taash on how poorly it went, but whose fault is that? Shathann removes herself from the situation when she notices Taash is about to blow a gasket, because what's the point in discussing anything with somebody who's already rejected your attempts at understanding them, while demanding you understand them?

And before somebody says that I don't "get" what Taash is going through, start reading the post from the beginning but really read it this time. For those who might say that Taash is justified in expecting the worst on account of how Shathann has been raising them up until now, then I raise you this: If Taash knew their mother wouldn't initially get it, why did they blow up when she immediately tried to get it? If they expected her to reject them, why are they still mad when she doesn't? Did they expect her to attempt to use a cultural concept she's familiar with in order to understand their identity, but didn't have an explanation ready to also frame it in a way that'd be familiar to her?

Instead, the order of events is essentially this: Shathann raises Taash in an overbearing way and places high expectations of femininity on them > her and Taash clash over this frequently > Taash, knowing how their mother is but feeling the need to come out to her anyway, says they're nonbinary > Shathann is confused yet calm, asks if they're trans > Taash gets instantly upset > Shathann, still confused, leaves the situation > Rook comforts Taash on how bad that went and says their mother will surely come around > Shathann, off-screen, figures out what nonbinary is, dies using the correct pronouns and confirming that she does love them for who they are > Taash is sad their mom dies but hey, at least they know she loved them at the end.

Shathann being a somewhat traditional Qunari, her expecting femininity, are all initially framed as obstacles for Taash to overcome. The overbearing, traditionalist parent must be confronted with the truth and realize their idea of their child is wrong. But before things can get too complicated, too bitter, and Taash has to actually confront this "obstacle", Shathann is instead removed from the equation entirely and killed in order for Taash to have their identity confirmed.

Except in that coming out scene, Shathann's characterization takes a strange, seemingly unintentional turn, and rather than reject her child's identity as the plot structure demands, she tries to understand it through her own limited framework. What's telling is that the narrative frames this as equivalent, that not immediately grasping a new concept and term is the exact same as outright rejecting it. It's framed as it being just another instance of her rejecting Taash's personhood and being dogmatic in her beliefs, but that only works if you're in that white lib mindset of "if you don't immediately understand my specific view of things and use the exact correct words that you might not be familiar with, you're a close-minded asshole and a bigot". If you're like me, whose genuinely very loving mother doesn't grasp the concept of being nonbinary, or if you just have a sliver of basic reading comprehension, you'll realize that Shathann is literally, in that scene, TRYING. But because she doesn't immediately get it right, it's deemed as insufficient, we're made to comfort Taash over their mother's grave insult, and Shathann is then killed for drama, but not before confirming that omg, she got it!! She got the fucking words right, and that means she finally loves them for who they are, which she apparently didn't do before!! All is well!!

Nevermind that Shathann is fine with Taash having female lovers, nevermind that, in Qunari culture, Taash being a dragon-hunting warrior would've effectively made them trans already and Shathann seemingly had no issues with that? (This is probably just a plot hole lbr.) Nevermind that she uprooted her whole life in order to provide a better life for her child, and nevermind the part where she admits she's done a poor job as a mother yet still clearly loves her kid. She didn't immediately get the new words and concepts right!! So she has to use the right words before she dies, in order for Taash to finally know that their mother loves them properly.

It's. Kinda gross. You know? It feels like Shathann, rather than being her own person, is essentially a prop to confirm Taash's identity, while hers is shifted around as the plot needs it. The plot both wants her to be an obstacle for Taash to overcome in affirming their identity, but also for her to affirm said identity. It conflates Shathann not immediately understanding and asking questions as her not accepting her kid, as her not loving her kid. And to fix that idea in Taash's mind, she has to die for them while also using the correct pronouns. That's an insane fucking thing to write.

If Shathann was instantly accepting, then that's boring and low-stakes. We can't have a parent who instantly accepts their kid, we want that family drama and painful coming-out story. Taash needs somebody to assert their identity over. BUT we don't want to deal with a parent not accepting their kid at all, that's just a bummer. So Shathann has to be unaccepting enough for Taash to have a conflict, but accepting enough that Taash doesn't have to assert themselves or fight too hard to be understood and accepted. Because that's just a bummer. And might signal that being nonbinary isn't valid and a-ok and totally cool and epic and awesomesauce and take my upvote and leave my good sir.

What's frustrating is that it could have worked. Have Shathann be like "Well you're a warrior, I thought you were aqun-athlok but didn't want to bring it up" and have Taash be like "No it's different, not like that" and Shathann be like "Ok then explain it to me." And maybe don't have Shathann get it fully at the end, but have her try. Have Taash come back from an off-screen conversation with Shathann and say that "We're good. She doesn't quite get it yet, but I think we'll be ok."

But instead, Shathann gets it!! Woo!! But then dies so. Don't even worry about it. At least Taash's enby-ness is validated with Shathann's dying breath. Because that's what really mattered in the end. Taash being so so so so so valid.

#datv critical #veilguard critical #it's really funny how this character and storyline were basically 1-1 a retelling of my experience with being nonbinary and multicultural #and yet it SUCKS SO BADDDDD lmaooooo #written by somebody who has literally no fucking idea what they're talking about #we could've had it aaaaaaa-aaaall #rolling in da deeeeee-eeeep

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