#1: my insurance does not cover any of that

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[seth-whumps]

I MADE A WHUMP EVENT: get ready for July folks

welcome to the Whumperless Whump Event of July! for your sickfic, situational, and completely apersonal whump needs--comfort included, of course. follow @whumperless-whump-event for more information and details!

Image transcripts, tagging rules, and guidelines under the cut!

RULES

Any and all art types allowed (GIFs, drawings, music, writing, etc.)

No AI generated content allowed

OCs and Fandom works alike are welcome :)

Trigger and content tags required, even if the prompt explicitly requires the content (eg. Vomiting still needs the emetophobia tag)

NSFT and NSFW are allowed, if tagged appropriately. This blog will not reblog them, as minors do follow it. However, you're still free to write as you please :)

If enough interest is shown, I will make an Ao3 collection (edit: ao3 collection is made and can be found here)

Side note: please let me know if there's anything I can do to make this post or event more accessible. Should I put the image transcripts on the ID too? Is the formatting causing issues? What can I do?

This is not a contest, just an event. The only awards will be announcements for people who completed the whole darn thing. My entries will not receive any announcements or awards, because I'm hosting

TAGGING

Tag with, per example: #whumperless whump event day 1; #whumperless whump event; and (optional) #whumperless whump event day 1: alcohol as a sanitizer

Tag @whumperless-whump-event please! If not, I may not see it or be able to reblog it!

If desired, tag the medium you used

Trigger tag and content warn (including nsfw/nsft)

If posting early, tag with #wwe early entry. If posting late, tag with #wwe late entry. If posting just for fun, no need to tag these!

IMPORTANT:

There are NO OTHER RULES. Do one prompt! Do seven! Do 'em all! Repeat the same prompt six days in a row! Switch them around and do them all out of order! Post them eight months after the event is over! Finish the prompt list early! Write one long-ass story that deals with every prompt or do a one-sentence drabble for each one! Recommend your favorite scenes regarding the prompt! Write, draw, sing, play music, make playlists, do fic recs or show recs or episode recs or book recs, fucking crochet or something! FOLLOW THE VIBE. DO WHAT'S FUN.

Prompts (text):

Emergency First Aid: Self-done stitches / Alcohol as sanitizer / “It's just a scratch, I've had worse.”

Does your insurance cover this?: Car accident / Bystander caretaker / “Eyes open, ambulance is almost here.”

Like a record, baby: Vertigo / Struggling to stand / “Is the room spinning, or is it just me?”

It's every day bro: Chronic pain / Massage / “I'm used to it.”

Stealing my breath (give it back): Wheezing / Light-headed / “I'll count, you just breathe.”

Summer is a curse: Heat Stroke / Panting / “Why don't we… find some shade, quick?”

Accidental Cryotherapy: Falling through a frozen lake / Hypothermia / “Hey, c'mon, you gotta stay awake.”

Put your head on my shoulder: Migraine / Light & Sound Sensitivity / “I can close the curtains…”

White and red handkerchief: Coughing up blood / Can't speak / “You just can't shake that cough, can you?”

Your work is never finished: Forced to work while ill / Workplace emergency / “...sit down, I'm calling HR.”

A minor annoyance: Stuffy nose / Hate to be sick / “I'm fine, I can work.”

It's going down (I'm yelling timber): Building collapse / Trapped under rubble / “I can't move my legs.”

It's just a pebble: Avalanche / Stuck in the mountains / “Well, this wasn't how I thought the hiking trip would go.”

Lay down your sword: Fighting back a cold / Cuddling / “Just let yourself be sick so you can get better.”

I'm going down (you're yelling timber): Passing out / Exhaustion / “I've got you, let's sit down, I've got you.”

Say goodbye to filters: Half-conscious / Delirious / “You would never say that in your right mind…”

In hot water: Dangerously high fever / Cool baths / “We have to get that number down somehow.”

I don't see it: Hallucinations / Fever dreams / “It's just a nightmare. You're safe.”

The whump morning after: Tending to injuries / Domestic hurt comfort / “Let's check the bandages, okay?”

It's not fun if you're panicking: Stuck in an elevator / Claustrophobia / “Get me out.”

Where's the exit: Lost / Stuck in the wilderness / “Surely someone will notice we're gone.”

Better out than in: Nervous Stomach / Vomiting / “I got your hair, it's fine.”

Well, that doesn't taste right: Accidentally poisoned / Allergic reaction / “My tongue feels like bees, is that normal?”

Be one with the fish: Drowning / Rescue Breaths / “Why did you think that was a good idea?!”

We didn't start the fire: Severe burns / Running into flames / “I know it hurts. Breathe.”

That's no barn spider: Venomous bite / Arachnophobia / “You'll be okay, we can help.”

What's your name again?: Concussion / Temporary Amnesia / “I don't remember what happened to me.”

Nothing behind the eyes: Fully unconscious / Force feeding / “It's just me, go back to sleep.”

Wrong place, wrong time: Robbery / One of many hostages / “Stay behind me, I can take a hit.”

I don't mean to get emotional: Fear / Breaking point / “I can't stop crying, I'm sorry--”

Only way out is through: Tunnel collapse / Accidental Journey / “We can't just sit here and wait.”

ALTERNATES:

Seizure

Choking

Withdrawal

Mugged

Wild animal attack

Hangover

Strain/sprain

Broken bone

Bloody nose

Panic attack

[doberbutts]

Hello all, informative trans guy post here. IF you are taking testosterone as part of your HRT or transition process, you've probably heard several times that testosterone is a controlled substance, very difficult to source, and that you are limited on the amount of which you can have at one time. You may even be wondering the truth of these claims.

Well... the answer is... that it's mostly true. But I can tell you how to make things a bit easier on yourself, if you're having a hard time.

This "guide" is 100% USAmerican based. Sorry, but I live here, and don't know how this works outside of my own country.

1: Testosterone is a controlled substance.

Well... it is. Testosterone is a controlled substance in the United States, being a Schedule III drug along with drugs like ketamine. This means that in some states, it can be very difficult to source at all and even harder to source in significant or consistent quantities. This is largely due to people taking anabolic steroids, and very little of testosterone's controlled status historically had anything to do with transgender people using it as part of their medical transition, though that is beginning to change as trans men become more visible. There are now some laws restricting the usage of testosterone for the purpose of transitioning, especially in cases of minors and young adults transitioning through their teens.

This is a little different from estrogen, which is prescription-only in its injectable form but does not have controlled status on a federal level. Testosterone, by comparison, is controlled in all of its forms and possessing it without a prescription is very illegal. While it is possible to source and make testosterone without a prescription, much like estrogen, the legal consequences for doing so are much more severe. For this reason, this is not a guide to doing so without using a prescription.

2: Testosterone is difficult to source.

Provided you have a doctor willing to give you a prescription, and either insurance or financial means of covering the cost of said prescription, testosterone is only difficult to source if you are living in a state that heavily restricts the ability to source Schedule III drugs (or has introduced laws restricting the ability to dispense HRT to transgender patients) or if there is some sort of shortage happening.

Testosterone is available at every national pharmacy chain in various forms, and can also be ordered online by pharmacies that may legally serve your state provided they operate within the state's laws. Remember, cis men take testosterone in various forms for their own hormonal function at times, so this is far from a niche transgender-only drug.

Your state may have restrictions on exactly how much testosterone you may pick up from the pharmacy at any given time, how frequently you're allowed to get it, and occasionally how much you're allowed to have in general. This may also change depending if you are picking your testosterone up from a physical brick-and-mortar pharmacy, or if you are ordering online for home delivery.

Some pharmacies will try to tell you they legally can't dispense more- this may conflict with what your doctor tells you, so if your doctor is willing to give you the maximum your state allows you to have and your pharmacy says a different maximum, you need to get your doctor to advocate for you.

Certain forms of testosterone are more prone to shortages and backorders than others. Gel appears to be commonly backordered, and manufacturer shortages are not uncommon. For this reason, my doctor prescribes me a three month supply at a time. For a long time, CVS would argue with me that they legally could only fill one month at a time. I mentioned this to my doctor, because this inevitably means that with the pharmacists at CVS screwing around with my meds that I am not consistent on my dosing month-to-month because when a shortage happens I simply have to go without until they finally get another shipment in.

Now, thankfully, she wrote me a prescription to navigate around that with the three month supply, but she also had someone from her office call and give them a dressing down on why they needed to actually comply with her orders for her patient. I happen to live in a state that the maximum is truly a three month supply, so CVS should not be arbitrarily shortening a doctor's prescription just because they don't think they should be dispensing that many.

Similarly, testosterone is unfortunately not cheap. I happen to take the gel version, which retails at about $400 USD per bottle, and each bottle lasts one month, so that's about $1600 USD worth of medication sitting on my bathroom sink in that photo with four bottles. Now, thankfully, I have insurance, and the insurance I have allows me to pick up all of my medications for free provided the insurance is actually willing to cover it. This means that I spent a grand total of $0 USD on these bottles. Insurance costs vary greatly, so it's wise to see exactly how much a larger supply will cost you prior to actually committing. My current insurance does not allow me to order medications online, but my previous insurance that I did actually have to pay for medications was often cheaper to order online ($40 for a three month supply) than pick up at the CVS ($20 for a one month supply). This is something to consider depending on your individual coverage.

3: You can only have so much testosterone at once.

As for why I have four bottles- due to my job change, I had an insurance change as well as introduced my state's version of Medicaid as a secondary insurance. My initial insurance did not cover these bottles but did cover individual gel packets dispensed as a sealed box of 30. My current insurance does not cover the individual packets but does cover the bottles. The packets are a slightly different dosage than the pump on the bottle, and when making that switch my doctor accidentally under-dosed me, which then created a significant excess when I went to pick up the next month's bottle. As a result, that initial bottle lasted roughly two months before we caught the under-dosing via my bloodwork, which means I opened the second bottle right as I was getting ready to pick up the third (and fourth and fifth).

This is not an illegal situation as there is a clear paper trail within my medical record and prescription history detailing this situation playing out, but it can be dangerous in certain states to have this much over the amount you're supposed to have. It can be illegal to stockpile a Schedule III drug, so I do not recommend intentionally creating this sort of situation for yourself.

That being said, this sort of worked in my favor. Schedule III drugs often need a prior authorization from your insurance before they are willing to cover these medications. Drugs that are not necessarily expected within your demographic, such as being marked as female but taking testosterone, also often require a prior auth. A prior auth can take up to a month to go through insurance, though usually is less than a week. I just passed my testosterone anniversary in late September, which also means my prior auth expired, as they're only good for one year. Instead of, you know, telling me my prior auth expired, CVS just sent me a text stating they were having a problem with my order and that they were in contact with my doctor about it. A week went by with no change so I called my doctor, who reported they never received anything from CVS but would look into the issue and see what the problem was. They called me back the next day to tell me about my expired prior auth and that they fixed it. I then got the text from CVS saying my prescription was ready to pick up about 5 minutes later. That does mean that if I did not have this excess, I would have once again simply not had testosterone for about a week.

4: Public vs Private Insurance

Whether or not your state's insurance will cover testosterone depends entirely on your state. Obama, when creating the Affordable Care Act or now known as "Obamacare", did make it so that states are supposed to be required to cover HRT for transgender adults and even minors in certain situations. Trump did away with several of these protections, which then emboldened certain states to whittle away at what was left. Other states, like my own, strengthened their protections in response, making it easier to access HRT.

This means that while my own state allows me to get free testosterone through the state's insurance (which is income-based eligibility, and I'm making a significant amount over minimum wage but still considered below my state's poverty line) - a friend of mine in another state cannot access HRT using his state's Medicaid, and is required to use private insurance. Additionally, I have insurance through my job, but it does not cover a large enough percentage for it to be feasible. This means that legally, I have to pay for my workplace insurance (barf, that's $200 out of every paycheck) but on the flip side because of my income eligibility I also can still have the state insurance as my co-insurance and that will clean up whatever leftover costs my private insurance leaves me with.

It also means my top surgery will be free, provided I can get it approved through my private insurance. My public insurance will pay the remaining balance of whatever my private insurance is willing to cover, but will not pay for things my private insurance isn't willing to cover at all.

This also means I have to attend exclusively doctors that will take my public insurance if I want to do things this way- however that's a fairly robust list in my state compared to others, so I didn't have to change doctors at all.

This situation is not always the case for every state's Medicaid- but it is worth looking into if you need options and your current insurance sucks or if you're not insured at all.

[scientia-rex]

Because my most popular post is about weight loss and how it's a crock, I get a lot of questions about various things, including bariatric surgery--just posted the link to the post I did about that--but also Ozempic/Wegovy, the once-weekly injectable semaglutide medication that was developed for diabetes but was found to have independent benefits on weight loss.

I always said that weight loss was like Viagra: when a medication came along that actually worked, it would explode. We'd all hear about it. Fen-phen in the 90s worked, but it was bad for your heart. Stimulants, like meth, may cause weight loss, but they do it at the cost of heart health, and raise your likelihood of dying young. Over the counter weight loss supplements often contain illegal and unlisted thyroid hormone, which is also dangerous for the heart if taken in the absence of a real deficiency. Orlistat, or "Alli," works the same way as the Olestra chips Lays made in the 1990s--it shuts off your ability to digest fats, and the problem with that is that fats irritate the gut, so then you end up with fatty diarrhea and probably sharts. Plus Alli only leads to 8-10lbs of weight loss in the best case scenario, and most people are not willing to endure sharts for the sake of 8lbs.

And then came the GLP-1 agonists. GLP stands for glucagon-like peptide. Your body uses insulin to make cells uptake sugar. You can't just have free-floating sugar and use it, it has to go into the cells to be used. So if your body sucks at moving sugar into the cells, you end up with a bunch of glucose hanging out in places where it shouldn't be, depositing on small vessels, damaging nerves and your retinas and kidneys and everywhere else that has a whole lot of sensitive small blood vessels, like your brain.

Glucagon makes your liver break down stored sugars and release them. You can think of it as part of insulin's supporting cast. If your body needs sugar and you aren't eating it, you aren't going to die of hypoglycemia, unless you've got some rare genetic conditions--your liver is going to go, whoops, here you go! and cough it up.

But glucagon-like peptide doesn't act quite the same way. What glucagon-like peptide does is actually stimulating your body to release insulin. It inhibits glucagon secretion. It says, we're okay, we're full, we just ate, we don't need more glucagon right now.

This has been enough for many people to both improve blood sugar and cause weight loss. Some patients find they think about food less, which can be a blessing if you have an abnormally active hunger drive, or if you have or had an eating disorder.

However, every patient I've started on semaglutide in any form (Ozempic, Wegovy, or Rybelsus) has had nausea to start with, probably because it slows the rate of stomach emptying. And that nausea sometimes improves, and sometimes it doesn't. There's some reports out now of possible gastroparesis associated with it, which is where the stomach just stops contracting in a way that lets it empty normally into the small intestine. That may not sound like a big deal, but it's a lifelong ticket to abdominal pain and nausea and vomiting, and we are not good at treating it. We're talking Reglan, a sedating anti-nausea but pro-motility agent, which makes many of my patients too sleepy to function, or a gastric pacemaker, which is a relatively new surgery. You can also try a macrolide antibiotic, like erythromycin, but I have had almost no success in getting insurance to cover those and also they have their own significant side effects.

Rapid weight loss from any cause, whether illness, medication, or surgery, comes with problems. Your skin is not able to contract quickly. It probably will, over long periods of time, but "Ozempic face" and "Ozempic butt" are not what people who want to lose weight are looking for. Your vision of your ideal body does not include loose, excess skin.

The data are also pretty clear that you can't "kick start" weight loss with Ozempic and then maintain it with behavioral mechanisms. If you want to maintain the weight loss, you need to stay on the medication. A dose that is high enough to cause weight loss is significantly higher than the minimum dose where we see improvements in blood sugar, and with a higher dose comes higher risk of side effects.

I would wait on semaglutide. I would wait because it's been out for a couple of years now but with the current explosion in popularity we're going to see more nuanced data on side effects emerging. When you go from Phase III human trials to actual use in the world, you get thousands or millions more data points, and rare side effects that weren't seen in the small human trials become apparent. It's why I always say my favorite things for a drug to be are old, safe, and cheap.

I also suspect the oral form, Rybelsus, is going to get more popular and be refined in some way. It's currently prohibitively expensive--all of these are; we're talking 1200 or so bucks a month before insurance, and insurance coverage varies widely. I have patients who pay anything from zero to thirty to three hundred bucks a month for injectable semaglutide. I don't think I currently have anyone whose insurance covers Rybelsus who could also tolerate the nausea. My panel right now is about a thousand patients.

There are also other GLP-1 agonists. Victoza, a twice-daily injection, and Trulicity, and anything else that ends in "-aglutide". But those aren't as popular, despite being cheaper, and they aren't specifically approved for weight loss.

Mounjaro is a newer one, tirzepatide, that acts on two receptors rather than one. In addition to stimulating GLP-1 receptors, it also stimulates glucose-dependent insulinotropic polypeptide (GIP) receptors. It may work better; I'm not sure whether that's going to come with a concomitantly increased risk of side effects. It's still only approved for diabetes treatment, but I suspect that will change soon and I suspect we'll see a lot of cross-over in terms of using it to treat obesity.

I don't think these medications are going away. I also don't think they're right for everyone. They can reactivate medullary thyroid carcinoma; they can fuck up digestion; they may lead to decreased quality of life. So while there may be people who do well with them, it is okay if those people are not you. You do not owe being thin to anyone. You most certainly do not owe being thin to the extent that you should risk your health for it. Being thin makes navigating a deeply fat-hating world easier, in many ways, so I never blame anyone for wanting to be thin; I just want to emphasize that it is okay if you stay fat forever.

[imtryingbuck]

Divorce Came With A Price

~ gif not mine credit goes to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: it’s been 6 months since he last saw you.

Word count: 1295

Warnings: Angst, I’m sorry. Death, cancer, suicide – please don’t read if the warnings upset you.

A/N: my mum cried when she read this.

Masterlist

Part 1

It’s been 6 months since Bucky last saw you, he’s hated it. He misses you. He misses your beautiful face, the way your smile makes his heart tingle. Misses the way your eyes shines brightly when you’re talking about your hobbies and interests. Misses the feel of your soft skin under his calloused hands. He just misses the love of his life, his other half - his sweet perfect wife. 

He remembers how your smile dropped as he tells you he wanted a divorce. Remembers the heartbreakingly look in your eyes as he told he’d been having an affair. That one look has haunted his dreams, his every waking moment. He can still feel the acid in his throat as he wills himself to nod as you ask that one question. Nothing more nothing less. You just wanted that one question to be answered and he couldn’t even look at you let alone answer verbally. He didn’t even know you left the house until the divorce hearing; he watched you walk away with Matt and Foggy wishing he could say something but nothing comes out. He watched as your feet falter when you see Carly. He knows exactly what you’re thinking.

But It’s over now.

It’s over now and he can get you back.

It’s over now and he’s hoping and praying that you’ll understand and forgive him.

It’s over now and he’s going to move heaven and earth to have his love back in his arms.

He finds out you’ve been staying with Matt since he broke both of your hearts. How does he do this? How does he knock on the door hoping that neither one of you punches him in the face (not that he doesn’t deserve it) he just hopes you’ll listen to him.

Bucky walks into the florist to get the biggest bouquet of your favourite flowers he can get. 

The skies start to turn dark even with the sun shining brightly, if he didn’t know any better he’d think it was forewarning for what’s to come.

Knocking on the wooden door it’s Matt that greats him. “What? What are you doing here” if Bucky wasn’t a super soldier he’d be scared with the tone in Matts voice.

“I-um I need to see Y-Y/N. Please”

“She’s not here. She’s not here anymore” Bucky can’t understand why Matt sounds broken.

“Well um where does she live now?” He’s trying not to stumble off his words.

“No James you don’t understand” Matt looks up towards the ceiling then continues but doesn’t get the chance.

“What do you mean I don’t understand? Matt look I know you hate me for what I did to Y/N but I had a reason, I just need to see her to explain it to her. Please Matt just tell me where she lives”. He begging and pleading and it’s clear as day in the way his voice wavers.

Matt speaks in a fast manner “Get inside before Ms Jenson comes out and complains” 

The apartments a mess, there’s takeaway boxes laying around, the sinks full of pots and there’s trash overflowing in the bin. The apartment looks nothing like it did 8 months prior when Y/N and himself went round for a double date with Matt and some woman he can’t remember the name of. Matt sits down and lazily waves his arm round for Bucky to sit to.

“Matt wher-“ he doesn’t get to finish his sentence.

“James she’s gone, she’s dead.” The air is cut off. The room is spinning. His world has ended. He doesn’t know what to do or say so he stares blankly at Matt waiting for the punchline of a joke that isn’t even remotely funny. Matt understands he needs to say more so he does. “That day you told her you wanted a divorce to be with your side piece she’d been at the hospital for her results. It was cancer. Terminal. She’d been told she had about 6 months to a year left. Her insurance didn’t cover her medical expenses so she stopped treatment, I told her I would pay but you know what she’s like-was like. 3 weeks ago she made me go out on a date with Karen she said she’d be fine and made me promise I’d have a good time. I got home around 11 and went to bed. The next morning, I couldn’t hear her walking around, so I went into her room, she um she’d taken pills, enough to end her life. It was too late to do anything, they said she’d been gone for 18 hours. Id only been gone for an hour” tears stream down both of the men’s faces. Matt struggles to continues “she begged me not to say anything to you, she didn’t want to get in the way of your relationship. She thought if you knew you’d change your mind and not divorce her just because she was dying. Y/N begged me James so I couldn’t I couldn’t do that to her-“ Bucky cuts him off. 

“I didn’t have an affair. I swear. Hydra was after me again and I had to divorce Y/N so she wouldn’t get hurt. I told her I had an affair so she would divorce me, I knew cheating was a deal breaker so I lied. I fucking lied and she’s dead. I lied and she’s not even going to know the truth.” He tries so hard to continue but can’t his airway is closing up. He passes out.

10 years have been and gone, the pain of losing the only person he has ever loved didn’t stop not that he wants it to. Bucky wants to remember the pain. 

In the 10 years that have passed he’s visits your grave every Friday, wedding anniversary, the date you two got together, the date he proposed, your birthday and on Christmas. After the fifth year Steve told him he needed to move on, and well long story short they had a fight and Bucky cried saying he couldn’t move on. In the end everyone around him understood that he would never move on from the love of his life. He sits there no matter the weather and talks to you for hours. He told you Matt and Karen were having a baby girl, then told you they named her after you. Told you all about his cat Alpine. After every visit without fail or another thought he tells you he loves you and can’t wait to see you again.

It’s been 10 years 5 months 12 days since you passed away and Bucky’s on his way to see you.

He’s on a mission that’s gone horribly wrong he’s been shot too many times. He’s so tired and Steve’s trying to get him to stay awake but it’s no use.

“Stevie p-please stop. I w-wan-t to be w-ith my Y-Y/N I need to be with h-er” Even though Bucky gasps for breaths his voice is strong enough to let Steve and the team know that this is what he wants. Steve gives him a slow nod with tears sliding down his cheeks, he clasps hands with his best friend and keeps locked tight long after Bucky takes his last breath.

He leaves the world with a smile on his face.

You stand there waiting for him and as soon as you lock eyes with him you’re running. Jumping into his arms and before he can say anything you kiss him. Hard. After you separate you tell him you know the truth. You heard him every time he would visit your grave. You tell each other how much you love one another. You take his hand and lead him into your new life.

Tags: @learisa @bruher @pattiemac1 @kentokaze @almosttoopizza @yvessaintmuerte

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[coral-skeleton]

Help me afford top surgery

Hi y'all, for those who don't know me, I'm a disbled, neurodivergent, trans man living in Cape Town, South Africa. I'm also a gradstudent in Astronomy currently finishing up my MSc, an artist and a poet.

In South Africa we don't really have many options to pursue transition, our private medical aids and insurance don't cover any of it, not even hospital costs as they classify gender affirming care as a cosmetic process instead of the life saving medical care we all know it is. Going through the public health sector is also not really an option as the waitlist is over 26 years long due to our national government again seeing gender affirming care as purely cosmetic and only giving one spot for any gender affirming surgery per year.

In South Africa there's also still alot of stigma around being trans and trans people face violence and discrimination on a daily basis, so in addition to the usual benefits of getting top surgery, it will also greatly improve my safety

This is however very expensive, being a student I am on a very tight budget, living paycheck to paycheck already, trying to save up for a procedure that costs nearly my entire yearly income is next to impossible, I also can't turn to my family in this instance as they are extremely transphobic

So the only option I have left is to try and crowdfund it. As I am South African I unfortunately can't use go fund me, so I'm using the South African croudfunding service, backabuddy, it does accept paypall and I-Pay

Any and all help will be greatly appreciated

So far I have raised:

R11 111.00/R120 000.00

$590.13/$6 374.00

(usd for convenience, conversion rate on 6 march 2024, $1 = R18.83)

[d3f3n3str4t10n]

Playing through Chapter 1 with the info gained from Chapter 2 (Or I guess, watching playthroughs, in my case) helps shed a lot of light on certain details... but one thing that always struck me as strange even after that was the phone call between Ashley and Renee.

Here, it seems like she's showing genuine shame for what she's doing, or what she feels like she has to do... though exactly what that is, is left unclear. The vagueness of it all is, of course, to build up mystery as to what it could mean, which we find out more about in Chapter 2. And in chapter 2, we find out that Renee was... heavily implied to be very much in on what these quarantine people were doing. Selling their organs, using their deaths as an insurance scam, to the point of willingly and deliberately hiring a hitman to kill Andrew and Ashley once they escaped.

We aren't fully sure about how deep this conspiracy goes; If this is something the water company as a whole is pushing on a widespread scale, or just certain people within it, or even if the 'parasites' are real or not. (Though I think it's all but clear that they were just made up...) We know from flashbacks and the Grave's own words that Renee wasn't exactly the most 'present' mother figure. Yet when confronted about it, she of course, denies it. (To a degree, anyway.)

We haven't seen or heard much of any direct interactions between Leyley and Renee, or much of Renee in general, so we don't have too much to go off of. This could very easily just be classic Graves' Family Gaslighting here... but I honestly think there's some truth to what Renee is saying here.

(Is it just me, or are Renee's eyes in this picture... slightly more green than they are in the present day?) Anyway, as we see in the screenshot above, Renee doesn't seem very worried about whatever Andy is upset about. We know that Andy had the responsibility of raising Leyley from a young age, which is likely what this conversation is about. Her uncaring, nonchalant look here gives off the impression that she's more annoyed about the situation than concerned. (Or she just has a resting bitch face, who knows?) She claims she "Thought they were getting along, so she didn't want to see what was happening." when apologizing to Andrew. I'm assuming this mainly meant that she didn't want to spend the time and effort to raise her kids, and just put the burden of disciplining Leyley on Andy. She was never counting on Leyley being such a handful... But she does bring up a... well, not a great point but a point nonetheless.

Why... didn't she turn her in? Ashley's quick to point out that it was simply to cover her own ass, and save herself the embarrassment and trouble that would be; having your kids murder another kid, even if accidentally... but is that... really it? Considering Andy and Leyley were so young when that happened (I'm willing to bet Andy wasn't even 10 yet. At the most, he was probably 12-13, meaning Leyley was around 10-11...) I really don't think the sentencing for them would've been... THAT bad? I don't know about the laws for this kind of stuff, but kids accidentally killing another kid while playing an innocent game of hide and seek... It feels like they very easily could've played the "I'm just a little kid I had no idea what would happen I'm so sorry" card fairly easily. This probably would've led to Mr. and Mrs. Graves taking most of the heat, being their parents. At least, that's what Ashley claims Renee was actually concerned about. But... then... why was she 'sorry' when she told Ashley to stop calling her? If she saw her as nothing more than an embarrassment, why would she say that? Was she only doing it to come off as caring one last time? Was a small spark of regret and humanity poking through her facade as she left her kids to slowly starve to death and be harvested for their organs? Did she really 'try' with Ashley? We know through the "Mother's Intuition" preview video that we'll be getting at least 1 flashback from Renee's perspective, and we know that we'll be seeing many more flashbacks with the family when they were still together, and possibly seeing some of their extended family. (Staying at their grandparent's house, for example.) I'd very much like to know what *they* thought about all this. Their reaction to Renee getting pregnant to young, why Renee decided to keep the baby, (If that was even her decision to begin with...), why she thought it was fine having another, (Even if Andy was an 'easy child,' there had to be more to that decision, surely. Was Renee just that impulsive back then? Did she not see that having 2 children would just be more work? Why did she want to have another kid specifically???)

I really do think there's more to Renee than we've seen and heard so far. I don't think she's as heartless as some of her actions make her seem. I genuinely think that, at one point, she 'tried' with Ashley. But at some point, she gave up, and left Andy to pick up the slack. Maybe it's just cope, idk.

[peachesancreams]

Angelic Wives

Vox, Alastor, and Husk

There is a spoiler for helluva boss is Voxs part, just a heads up

Summary: just a stream of thought on their wives, who they are and how they’d act in life and heaven

Vox

I see him running a TV program like a new up coming producer

he produced one of those musical/comedy jubilees, so people preformed or did comedy acts

meet his wife as she sang some cover of an older song, she had wanted to do her own original song but the studio vetoed it

he loved her voice and natural elegance, she thought his secretly pathetic nature was adorable

Old Hollywood IT couple vibes, but like any photos of them he’s blank or stoic looking

he just liked the contrast of his radiantly glowing wife to his darkness

she had no illusions about how terrible he was. She drank and smoked sure but she knew she had nothing on him morally

my headcanon is he got his head repeatedly smashed into a TV by someone he definitely stole the position from

I’ll say this once: She’s Only Heaven because of Him

Like she was a good person but if you’ve seen Helluva Boss you know you can like buy you’re way into heaven(donate it to good causes and the like)

Idk if they were a thing but i can see Vox taking out a life insurance policy on both him and his wife, either way when he passed she ended up loaded

didn’t want it, actually was SUPER depressed due to him passing so she kept enough to sustain herself but donated everything else

only went on TV on his death date, sang songs he loved or would’ve liked

did make only 1 album but it was very sad and it wasn’t popular when she was alive

was also murdered!! But in a mugging, her favorite pearl necklace got destroyed but she got to keep her ring(she wanted those damn pearls)

my first idea for her in heaven was to have a spotlight head akfbwjnxjdndkskd

honestly tho I think she’d be a Sand Cat, very rare but definitely not a house pet

people have mixed feelings about her being in heaven

it was cause she had a more ‘sexy starlet’ persona cause many people unconfirmed rumors

Now it’s mainly due to how she’s publicly admits to still loving her demon husband

knows they technically aren’t married “death do you part” and all, but she kept the ring dammit that’s her man

would be thrilled to know he had found a partner!!(partners of polyvees)

not the jealous type has a more “I can share as long as you have space for me in your heart” thought process

For Just Valentino

• “oh wow he found someone with the a similar moral compass! That is to say: none! Good for him.”

• think he’s very beautiful tbh

• “why are they both so damn tall…” jealous only of their height

For PolyVees

“I love the Evil Power Couple vibe….what? I can like it and know they are not good people! Logic people, come on.”

Craves velvettes designs, like heavens fashion has Christian Dior but she likes Velvettes fresh styles

would be curious about the relationship dynamics tbh like is her husband a hinge or what

Back to my HeadCannons!!

actually started her own jubilee program in heaven! Still takes a segment on Vs death day to sing him a song

It’s popular cause new souls who remember miss old MTV(I know I do) and older souls miss the performance aspect I bet

Heaven does have to check over what she’s putting on the program, it has to be clean and by heavens many rules after all

does a hosting segment on the weekends, she apparently got really popular after her death!!

People in heaven were gagged to see her being a TV host(Hell too if the Cherub commercial is anything to go by)

Alastor

met when they were young adults at Mimzys club, it was a slow romance like spring thawing out winter

A slow realization but quick to accept their love for the other, got married so quick people actually started to gossip

that was a theme in their life together, being gossiped about but no one confronting them

he was a famous radio host after all! And she was his lovely housewife, even if she was a yankee

(he doesn’t remember her but they meet when they were younger but only she remembered, didn’t say much cause she knows it wasn’t a happy time for him)

loved to forage and garden, paired with his hunting they always ate very fresh food. (He misses it not that he’d actually say to anyone)

I can see him living outside of New Orleans, not in the bayou but close to the swamps

she didn’t know about his murder hunts, and as he became a cannibal after death she never ate a victim

so while he was shot in the head, my personal headcanon was that people thought the hunter was the mass murderer and a mob got to him before police

I will write about this somewhere else because I have A Lot of thoughts on police work back then, plus the forensics that aid in this

she was of course devastated, she barely ate and when the police told her what happened the first time she fainted

they had to repeat themselves 3 times till it registered that her husband was dead

so many assumed she offed herself, but she just fell asleep in the bath after a breakdown

having drowned and gone to heaven, she finally got to meet the other most important person to Alastor!!

Abigail is also a deer, and was thrilled to meet she lil Al’s lady! Always lowkey knew what kinda person her boy was so is not surprised he isn’t in heaven

his wife is Upset and Confused, he should be here? Why isn’t he in paradise!

I t’s not a-typical but Sera had a meeting with her and basically was like “listen you didn’t know this so you were safe but…”

tells his wife everything, doesn’t hold anything back. Sera knows Abigail has an idea, but not the full picture

now she is Upset and Confused but for very different reasons.

She’s upset for many reasons; he lied to her, many times and in so many ways. She felt like a fool

Confused at herself because she still…misses him. And loves him. He was her Al, sweet with terrible jokes and his mamas recipes.

She shouldn’t. Right? He’s evil and where he belongs.

Opened a coffee shop because she needed something to do, and with no forests to forage she turned to Abigail who turned her to cooking/baking

her menu has his favorite snack foods, and a handful of sweet items that she rotates out

expanded to matcha and espresso in the modern years, but kept her coffee shop in a vintage design

think a tea room design but for a coffee shop

Husk

Ok so Husk always gave me ex-solider vibes, like the drinking and gambling? Coping mechanisms

Husk was probably a very hard man to love and did a lot of learning down in Hell

I can see him leaving his family, but only cause he saw it as the debt leaving with him

(It did and ended up being the reason he died, owing money to the wrong people)

His wife, the reason he can not love, was tough as nails at least on the outside

Would and did roll up her sleeves and did the “man’s work” around the house; fixed up the car, plumbing, made a table out of a tree that fell in the yard

If she could learn how to do it, she put her all into it

When he left took up neighborhood odd jobs, many actually used her for childcare and it inspired her to open her home to kids in need.

They didn’t get to have any kids before he left, they tried but…well she always ended up saying her kids came to her later in life

Caring for and loving those kids are why she’s in heaven, she thankfully passed while not fostering any young ones

Spontaneous heart attack, wasn’t surprised liked her meat and potatoes

Mainly white Calico, long haired to Husks medium(fluffycatsfluffycatsfluffycats)

Not surprised Husk isn’t in heaven, he was a soldier he killed people. Is a lil surprised she’s there

She was a kind woman, a hard life made her have a hard exterior

She did what she could for the children she could, but never saw it as enough

If Hell has children then Heaven probably does too

Opened a few orphanages, got permission from the Seraphim’s and everything

Isn’t a director but does do monthly check ins to make sure everything is to her standards. Wants the best for these kids.

Thinks about Husk in a bittersweet way, knows he’s probably enjoying all the gambling dens and ladies

He was faithful in life and that’s more then most women got, she doesn’t mind him seeking others

It doesn’t matter that she hasn’t tried looking for another, she always preferred her own company anyway

She had been annoyed and angry at him in life for leaving but in the afterlife…..in small quiet moments she thinks about him

all dividers are credited to @saradika-graphics

[gnomishcunning]

Re: requests, literally any nsfw for Zevlor? I love one (1) sad old tiefling

i, too, love one sad ole' tiefling. he and karlach own my wholeass heart. some of my own headcanons/portrayals of him snuck into these, hope ya don't mind.

(please send me more asks about zevlor i love him so much)

nsfw below the cut! MDNI

in general-

zevlor's a hopeless romantic in the truest of sense. his entire life has been about devotion - he joined a group of soldiers that you can't quite, he's a paladin who lived by his oath for decades, and he followed the literal god of guardians. he believes in devotion, and that undoubtedly leaked into his concept of relationships

maybe back in his young soldiering days, zevlor had some one-night stands, maybe an occasional fling or two. but his devotion to his duty came first, and he sadly never found time to fall in love like he wanted, or start a family.

so, if you somehow managed to lure zevlor into your bed? you need to know it's because he loves you. even if he hasn't told you.

he's an old, broken paladin. he's not willing to risk heartbreak and further grind down his sense of self-worth, not with everything he's been through.

he's already lost everything that made him who he was. he can't loose you, too.

the first time around? it's all sweetness. he approaches your naked body with a sort of reverence, like he can't quite believe what he's seeing. that this is actually happening.

his attention to detail is paramount. he's trimmed all his talons to a dull sort of safety, he's got warming oil tucked into his belt-pouch, hell - he brings his own contraceptive herbs, if he's with the type partner where that's a concern. he'll eat em in front of you if that helps.

consent is the sexiest thing, and he unwraps you like a present, carefully asking with every piece of clothing removed, dipping his head to press kisses to every new bit of your beautiful self revealed to him.

His hands tremble as they travel over soft skin, careful on every curve he covers. he's constantly checking in, making sure you're okay- can he touch here? caress you?

it's admittedly a very vanilla affair, but it's probably the most tender, loving sex you'll ever have.

he's going to want to top, and gods, how can you say no to that face?

you'll come first. no matter what. he presses kisses down your body until he can attend your clit or cock with careful flicks of his tongue, he'll dribble oil onto his fingers in front of you so he can slowly work you open, taking one finger, then two-

and gods, you just know he'd have amazing hands, right? callused and dextrous after a lifetime of sword-wielding, but ever-so careful and exact.

he won't want to take you until you've made a mess of the bedsheets, and when he does? he wants to take you in missionary so he can reach you everywhere, kiss every bit, and watch - commit every bit of this to memory, just in case he never has the opportunity take you apart, ever again

he's going to do his gods-damned best to insure you both cum at the same time. he'll press careful kisses to your mouth as you fall apart, one hand cupping your chin, just so he can watch your face as you cum

he's not a very loud moaner, but he repeats your name on loop until he finishes.

he gets hella clingy afterwards, and if you two have the right kind of relationship where he feels safe enough to be vulnerable which of course you two do, he'll probably cry afterwards

thankfully, this becomes a regular occurrence for both of you

in terms of kinks? zevlor's a bit of a mixed bag. he's got a lot of things he's passingly thought would be very hot to try with a partner, but he may carry some weird guilt about it.

in kinky, bdsm terms-

i'm a firm believer he's a switch, and he's equally willing (and wanting, tbh) to take both roles on, depending on the night. while bdsm wouldn't be a lifestyle-like thing for him and the majority of y'all's sex is vanilla, there's definitely occasions where he wants to indulge. and they're usually like, specifically-planned and orchestrated occasions, set to consume a whole evening, for both the kinky sex and the aftercare.

safewords include the faerun equivalent to the stoplight system (which i'm still working on), or something simple and straightforward that both of you can easily remember.

'bridle' is what comes to mind off the bat

he's absolute delighted if his partner wanted to take care of him, and yield without a fight. if he verbally protests he should be taking care of you, just say you wanna show him how much you love him. he'll fall apart in moments.

as a submissive? his biggest kinks would be praise and body worship, especially contrasted with some light verbal degradation. he's got some guilt to work through, and it's nice to do that with someone he trusts implicitly. but focus more on rewarding good behavior, rather than punishing bad behavior. he's disappointed enough in himself.

it's worth mentioning, this man is the furthest thing from a brat (for the most part). he wants to be good and get praised, since nothing else gets his heart beating as fast - but if you're being a tease, he's not above squirming and cursing at you in infernal

bondage is a yes, but he prefers one particular facet: rope. shibari's equal parts art form and bondage, and he'd appreciate the care and attention to detail that goes into it.

ironically? you wouldn't need bondage to hold him still. he's pretty damn good at following orders, and he's definitely eager to please. i don't think he'd be into 'good boy', but call him a 'sweet lil soldier'??? hahahaha oh wow

sweet and reassuring aftercare is a necessity, there's like a 95% chance he'd cry in a weird, cathartic sorta way. he's definitely a candidate for subdrop, so watch for that.

regardless of how pretty he is when he falls apart, he'd additionally play dominant with just as much eagerness. just say you trust him implicitly, he's incredibly handsome and attractive when he's in-charge, and you want him to take control. he'll more than happily agree - he's enthusiastic about it, especially when he sees how excited you are about the concept

speaking of- titles. Master sits weird with him, but "Sir" and "Commander" are both on deck. he kinda a fun lil illicit thrill using his old title in the bedroom. it'd go a long way to restore that ole' Hellrider Commander confidence, ngl.

he's a very firm, but very kind dominant, if that makes sense? he issues his commands, wants and expects them to be followed. his rewards good behavior with praise and petting (hair, or elsewhere on your body)

he's got a very good understanding about the lengths and limits of subspace given how well he knows you, he's incredibly attentive about how far his submissive has sunk, mentally, and he'll take them as far as they're looking to go- whether that's just taking their mind off a situation with some sweet tending and an orgasm or three, or totally obliterating their brainpower in a positive way with the paladick(tm) treatment

very into getting his partner to the point all they remember his name, designation, and 'please'. equally as fond as leaving hickies/marks/love bites all across their body, especially where people might be able to see. leaving physical evidence of his effect on his lover is a big turn-on

as equally into bondage and rope as a dominant as he is a submissive. it's a hobby he occasionally indulges in, and he enjoys prettying you up in fancy hemp ropes he probably dyed himself

he's fan-fuckin-tastic with aftercare, it's kind of insane. he's soft and careful, getting you a glass of water, he draws you a warm bath and helps you clean up, and then lures you back into your body from the weird, floaty world of subspace with soft touches and sweet praises. he'll get you snacks afterwards if you need them, and do just about anything you'll ask - from reading a book out-loud so you can listen to his voice, to granting you another orgasm if needed.

for the record if y'all want deets about how he is with a brat or an obedient submissive, someone needs to bite the bullet and send the ask, otherwise this post is gonna extend into forever

[beardedmrbean]

https://youtube.com/shorts/tfrvtVODQ5A?si=nWmux3kF1oDG-QH6

Oh what's this one going to be.......

The $750 goes out to everyone regardless of need so they can get whatever it is they need immediately without having to wait for the bureaucrats to start going through the applications for aid.

People that get those could have a billion dollars in the bank or nothing in the bank, but when it comes time to start actually going to work the person with a billion isn't going to get anything and the person with zero will (likely) get some aid in getting them back on their feet and time in whatever passes for a FEMA shelter.

I haven't heard anything about that being a loan either, with good reason.

Here's the AFP fact check on a lot of the various internet rumors about the aid going out.

AFP ranks high on my personal trust meter, for whatever that's worth to any of y'all.

_____________________________________

Jason Thomas Barnosky, associate director of the RAND Corporation's Disaster Management & Resilience Program (archived here), confirmed in an October 8 email that the $750 aid is a one-time payment that the agency does not consider a loan.

FEMA's rumor response page says recipients only have to pay the agency back if they get duplicate benefits through an insurance provider or another source.

"If you have insurance that covers your temporary housing costs, but you ask FEMA to advance you some money to help you pay for those costs while your insurance is delayed, you will need to pay that money back to FEMA after you receive your insurance settlement."

"There are other forms of assistance that you may qualify for to receive and Serious Needs Assistance is an initial payment you may receive while FEMA assesses your eligibility for additional funds," the agency's rumor response page says.

An October 4 press release about Helene relief efforts lists several kinds of additional aid survivors may be eligible to receive, including money to help repair or replace a damaged home (archived here). Other types of assistance could cover the repair or replacement of personal property and the costs of temporary lodging, medical or dental care, funerals, childcare and transportation.

The maximum aid for fixing or rebuilding a home, for example, is $42,500 (archived here). The exact amount depends on the damage assessed during a FEMA inspection.

Those seeking assistance can apply online at disasterassistance.gov, by calling 1-800-621-3362 or by downloading FEMA's app.  ___________________________________

Went through the same thing when Maui was on fire and everyone was screaming about them only getting $700 when it was just the same scenario we see here.

Not blaming people for getting pissed, there's a lot of bad information out there and going in with a knee jerk response on the whole thing based on what you're seeing online and such is something that is totally nonpartisan, (see people screaming about women now being forced to carry ectopic pregnancies or arrested for a miscarriage after RvW got overturned) so it's just a thing.

Next time this happens some more people will know better now.

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Hey! A trans minor here. I want to ask how should I proceed as a trans minor in Florida? I can’t move and my mother doesn’t take me being trans seriously. She says she supportive but I don’t think she is. I’m worried about all these bills coming into place and how they will affect me. I’m a FTgender fluid. Do you have any advice? Also, I play the flute :) it’s nice to see trans instrument players

Ayyy, trans orchestra forming!

So, I won't insult your intelligence by pretending things aren't about to get bad. But maybe I can help you understand the risks and how to keep yourself safe and sane.

An assumption: I don't know if you want to pursue physical transition and that is a convo 100% between you, your mom, and your healthcare providers, so I'm providing it as a neutral option for information purposes.

Also: The bills I mentioned have not passed yet, but they are sitting on the governor's desk. He will most likely sign them, meaning they'll take effect July 1, 2023.

Staying with your family

SB254 is the bill that affects you the most. It's the "kidnapping" bill. Yeah. :/

I don't know what your family situation is like, but if you have family members who oppose your mother's even lukewarm support, that could be enough for the state to remove you from her custody and turn you over to them. It would be up to you and your mom to figure out how to avoid/appease these family members so they don't think you are "at risk" of physical transition.

Gender-affirming care

SB254 also completely locks you out of puberty blockers, HRT, and surgery (the latter 2 in the past are sometimes pursued by older youth with parental consent) in this state. If you want to pursue any of this care, talk with your mother about getting it in another state. You will have to physically travel, because telemed for gender affirming care is also being banned due to new consent form requirements.

Once you are 18, you can pursue physical transition, if that's something you're interested in, but be aware that there are soon going to be so many obstacles to adult care, that it might as well be a transition ban for everyone. But if you're close to 18 and think HRT is for you, review the map for informed consent care. But be prepared for a long search and your insurance not covering things.

That said, if you need a therapist now, I think you may still be good here. Be very careful that you don't end up with someone who wants to use conversion therapy tactics -- these are typically going to be religious-based providers. Talking with other trans kids in your town might help you find a good provider.

Remember, if you don't like a therapist, you can stop going to them; shop around for one that makes you feel safe and makes you feel like they help you with the stress in your life.

Bathroom ban

HB 1521 does a few things:

Bans multi-stall gender neutral bathrooms (single stall is fine)

Requires schools to have bathroom policies

Empowers cis people to confront trans folks in a govt owned/leased bathroom/changing room and force them to leave, otherwise they are subject to a fine and/or jail

This is effectively a bounty bill. Examples of bathrooms where this bill will apply include schools, airports, stadiums, courthouses, etc. It isn't every public bathroom, but it is a lot.

People who are gender nonconforming or are being stalked/harassed by cis folks who know their trans status are most at risk here.

It is up to you how much you want to weigh your self-expression against your physical safety.

As a minor, you don't have a lot of rights, so I advise you choose your battles carefully and always have trusted adults to have your back. Being FTGenderfluid, a lot of how you dress might fly under the radar, but I'd avoid being too heavily masc for now.

Keeping safe & sane

Unfortunately, a lot of support you'd normally find at school is going to be unavailable from now on. But some ways to lessen your stress:

Get a job (if you are old enough). I know, I know, but money makes a lot of life easier, from buying little treats now to stockpiling for things you may want once you turn 18.

Be honest with the reality that you might have to be in the closet a lot, and brainstorm safe outlets for your gender expression. I know at your age, I dressed how I wanted at home and used roleplaying games to explore and express my gender.

Hang out with queer youth, especially in person. You might have a local organization that has events and support groups. It helps a lot to share your feelings with other kids going through the same.

Start following trans political commentators. Erin is a good follow on Substack - she makes it easy to understand all the legal stuff going on.

Consume happy queer stories, by queer authors. It will help counter all the doom scolling. I've been watching Dead End: Paranormal Park (it is a comic and a show), which features a trans masc protagonist.

Cultivate your relationship with your mom. Gently, but firmly set boundaries with her if she gives you guff for, I dunno, wearing boys jeans or whatever. But also be aware she probably has a lot of misinformation about trans people, so you will need to gently pick that apart and see how you can educate her. Trusted adults she also trusts can also help you here.

Build your network. The friends your age you make today could be roommates or coworkers tomorrow. Be social, it will also be good for your mental health.

Be kind to yourself. Things look bleak, but there are states in the US that are actually strengthening trans rights. There continue to be options, you just might need to spend time and resources achieving them.

I hope that helps, and a big hug from a trans adult who grew up in the closet. <3

[iron-shears]

Ignota's Top Surgery Fund Commissions!

Hello! I am Ignota. I am a 25-year-old non-binary artist, known mostly for my pixel animations, my comics, the Godot games/interactives I've made/am making for the SCP Wiki, and TikTok videos. I recently FINALLY got my insurance to cover top surgery(I live in California, but my insurance is out of Florida)

I just found out my insurance kinda lied about my doctor being in-network. My insurance agreed to cover the top surgery itself but does not cover the surgical center I need to get it done at. I've been quoted at $2140, not including additional medical workup, prescriptions, travel, and temporary living expenses.

I am trying to reach out to my insurance to see if it'll be covered, but I am about to age out of my current insurance and I am not in a position to afford new insurance. There is still a chance I can convince my insurance to cover it, but this is time-sensitive and I want to have the ABILITY to do it regardless. So, I am doing commissions now.

PRICING

Pixel animation $50-$400

$50(Art similar to the first image): Maximum of 12 frames. One character. Very limited movement. Canvas size under 135x135

$80(Art similar to the second image) Maximum of 24 frames at any framerate(Typically 4fps for 6 seconds or 8fps for 3 seconds), Simple Movement, 1-2 characters, maximum canvas size of 135x135. Price can be adjusted to accommodate more detail

$200(Art similar to the third image) a couple characters, a detailed environment, and a moving scene. Maximum canvas of 256x240. The scene can be converted to a simple one-room HTML5 format that can play in-browser.

$400+(Art similar to the fourth Image) A complex environment, multiple characters/moving parts, and the ability for a scrolling background.

Illustrations $50-$250

$50(Art similar to the first image): A simple close-up shot in any style.

$100(Art similar to the second image) A simple scene or full body with no background.

$250+(Art similar to the third and fourth images) A complex environment. Alternatively, a detailed comic page.

All features are negotiable and individual requests might change the price. If there's something from one tier you want but don't want all the other stuff, chances I may be able to work something out that will fit your needs. These descriptions are suggestions to make it a little easier, not solid outlines of what they need to look like. Feel free to bring other ideas to the table. I have worked on background illustrations and pixel animations for indie devs making games, Dungeons and Dragons character sheets, individual character pieces, and many other things in the past.

Contact me through my Email(IronShearsArt@gmail.com) or my Discord(ironshears)! Alternatively, I do have a Ko-Fi if you want to support my art.

Alex Thorley's Blind Date(The Dating Sim) by me under CC-BY-SA

Kuobach's Eyes(Orange Comic) by me under CC-BY-SA

Nacre Series by me under CC-BY-SA

The other pixel game in question is tentatively titled Brand New Colors and has not been completed yet, but you can find more of it on my blog. It will also be under CC-BY-SA

[middleagedenragedmama]

Repealing the Affordable Care Act (ObamaCare) - What Does It Mean for Me?

Trump has made it clear that one of his first acts as president will be repealing Obamacare or the Affordable Care Act (ACA).  He has also made it very clear that he does not have a plan to replace the ACA.  Most people understand that the ACA allows individuals and families to purchase Marketplace health insurance coverage.  Marketplace health insurance is the best option for many self-employed individuals, as the US mostly depends on employer provided health insurance plans that are cost prohibitive to small businesses.

With the announcement that Trump won the election, I was reminded that many of you did not live through or were not aware of what healthcare was like prior to the ACA (enacted in 2010).  I wanted to get on my soapbox a bit to explain what the ACA did to help individuals and what the repercussions of losing these protections could mean.

Pre-existing conditions – Prior to the ACA, health insurance companies could deny coverage or charge more for anyone with a pre-existing condition.  If you experienced a lapse in coverage for any reason (even a single day!), health insurance companies could deny coverage for any pre-existing health condition as well as any complication that arose from that condition.  Pre-existing conditions were not limited to severe health issues, it was any health condition that you were diagnosed with (ex: eczema, asthma, migraines, cancer, diabetes).

If you had high blood pressure and switched jobs, there is typically a 90-day probationary period before your new employer health plan kicks in.  During those 90 days, you would need to obtain COBRA insurance to ensure that your new employer plan would continue to cover your high blood pressure.  COBRA plans can easily cost between $600-$1800/month, so you could spend $1800-$5200 during those 3 months to prevent a lapse in coverage.  If you cannot afford to pay for COBRA, your insurance lapses and your new employer plan does not have to cover your high blood pressure.  If you end up with complications later down the road such as kidney failure or a heart attack and the insurance company decides that this is related to your high blood pressure, they don’t have to cover the cost of those complications either.

Lifetime Caps – prior to the ACA, each health insurance would list a lifetime cap on their policy.  This was generally somewhere between $1-2 million dollars.  This was the maximum amount of healthcare charges that they would insure you for, and once reached, you would become uninsurable for that healthcare plan. 

A $2 million dollar lifetime cap sounds big right?  The average person will not be eligible for medicare until they are 65, so that’s 65 years of healthcare costs that need to be under that cap.  We have 2 major health insurers (Anthem and United Healthcare) with some minor plans in play as well (Cigna, Aetna, Humana, and a few others).  Prior to the ACA, I have watched parents switch jobs from one job that provided Anthem insurance to another job that provided another type of insurance just to make sure they didn’t reach their lifetime cap.  These were individuals that didn’t want a new job, they had to find a new job and the next year, when their new employer changed their insurance plan to what the previous employer had, they had to find a new job again.  Each time, they had to pay for COBRA to ensure that their families didn’t have a lapse in coverage, otherwise their pre-existing conditions wouldn’t be covered.

Healthcare is expensive in this country.  If you have diabetes, cancer, a heart condition, or any chronic disease, you will have no problem reaching a $2 million lifetime cap in a few years. 

Once a lifetime cap is reached, that insurance will not provide you with any insurance coverage.  You are uninsurable by that company.  If you reach that cap at age 30, you have 35 years until you get Medicare, and that’s 35 years of scrounging around for other jobs that don’t have that type of insurance.

There were annual limits as well, and the same applied.  In this case, once you reached the annual limit, they just wouldn’t pay any more healthcare charges, and you were liable for 100% of the costs after that limit was reached.

Disability - If you are deemed disabled by the Social Security Administration, it takes an additional 2 years before you are eligible for Medicare.  In the interim, if you can no longer purchase a Marketplace plan, your only option is a state-funded Medicaid plan.  In order to qualify for Medicaid, there are income limits.  Remember you just got approved for disability and depending on your previous work experience, the average disability check is for $1542/monthly, but could range up to $3822/month.  Do you have a little bit of a savings?  To qualify for most state Medicaid plans when you are disabled, your income needs to be <$1255/month and you can have a maximum of $2000 in assets (savings, stocks/bonds).  The average disability payment makes you ineligible for Medicaid, and if the ACA is repealed, you will not have an option for health insurance unless your spouse carries you on their employer provided insurance.   

Preventative Services – the ACA requires plans to provide preventative healthcare services at little to no cost.  This includes well baby checks, vaccines, annual physicals, annual gynecological exams, annual lab work, mammograms, and colonoscopies.  Before the ACA, we paid for these services, and many people just didn’t seek preventative care because they could not afford the cost, even when insurance covered a portion of the charges.

Emergency Care – the ACA requires emergency room care to be considered in-network.  Prior to the ACA, if you were out of state and experienced an emergency that required an emergency room visit, you were charged out-of-network charges.  Many plans wouldn’t cover out-of-network providers, so you were liable for the entire cost of the ER visit.  A rough estimate for the average ER visit is around $2600 but could be significantly higher depending on the reason for the visit.

Protections from Cancellation – the ACA made it illegal for your insurance to cancel you for costing them to much money.  Before the ACA, similar to homeowners or car insurance, if you had too many claims, they just cancelled your coverage.

Birth Control and Contraceptives – prior to the ACA, birth control pills, IUDs, and other contraceptives were generally excluded from coverage and you had to pay for these out of your pocket.

The ACA did much more than just offer Marketplace plans for individuals to purchase.  It’s easy to take these protections for granted now that we are almost 15 years out from when they were enacted, but do not doubt that healthcare in the US is a business.  Every day, insurance plans deny coverage for treatments because it’s too expensive, and doctors are continually frustrated by the red tape required by insurance to get patients what they need.  Insurance plans will not hesitate to go back to the way healthcare was prior to the ACA, as it’s more profitable for them to do so.  They do not care that patients will suffer, that people will die, and people will be financially crippled in the process.   

[usertiff]

the worst part about disability and struggling, is that the struggle just seems to continue, and honestly? get worse and worse. so yes, i know, like, "hey, it's me again! needing help..." but as my wait for disability/SSI continues, the harder and harder it is getting to survive. i'm on the verge of losing my home and my car (that transports me to health appointments and my partner to work). like many others in america, they took away our food stamps. to make things harder, as you may know, my mom has recently had 2 heart attacks and 3 different surgeries, which has only increased my struggle by tenfold, because instead of paying certain bills, we had to use our very limited income to pay for gas to get back and forth from the city hospital (3hrs away) multiple times, bandaging and other medical expenses her insurance doesn't cover, and things of the like.

being disabled is catching up to me, being the caretaker for my disabled mom is catching up to me. i'm so far behind it's absolutely terrifying. under the cut you can find my more important bills and a breakdown of things i need.

i know that life is really hard for everyone right now, everything is so expensive and assistive programs are so depleted, so i definitely want to offer what i can for any help received. this idea was 100% inspired by lomapacks, and i did ask permission to use it before doing this! so here we go.

how much do i need? basically i'm $2,291.11 behind in bills, plus have literally nothing for food or gas, which if we add it up for a month or so would then be like almost $3k.

how does the raffle work? for every dollar spent commissioning, you will earn an entry! for every dollar donated of good will, you will earn 3 entries! example, if you order $15 worth of gifs (150 gifs), you will have 15 entries! if you donate $15, you will have 45 entries! (or if you donate $1 = 3 entries, $3 = 6 entries, etc)

what are the prizes?

first place: 1500 gifs, 5 manips of your choosing, 1 crackship gifset

second place: 1000 gifs, 3 manips, 1 crackship gifset

third place: 500 gifs, 2 manips, 1 crackship gifset

every single person that commissions or donates gets: 1 manip

when will the raffle end? the raffle will continue until i've reached the massive goal, so it really depends on how quickly i can climb out of this financial grave! i'm hoping that it can be as quickly as possible!

what do you do to join? you can find my payment info below to donate or commission. if you plan to commission, please message me first so we can sort out what it's for/how much! then, please fill out the form in the source link when payment is completed. :)

when will everything be delivered? commissions will be completed in the order they were received, and delivered as soon as i can possibly get them done. once the raffle ends, the raffle prizes will be delivered upon your request for them and completed as soon as possible! i will try to deliver the manips for everyone same-day!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, FOR SHARING, FOR BEING KIND, AND FOR GIVING ME ANY TIME OF DAY.

payment information:

kofi! https://ko-fi.com/tiffanyvalentine

paypal! selinaaakyle@gmail.com

venmo! oraclelauren

cashapp! $selinaaakyle

amazon wishlist! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/259VCVX9R5LCS?ref_=wl_share

so, here are screenshots of the most important bills i'm behind on.

RENT (update is the top screenshot, i have late fees)

CAR PAYMENT

UTILITIES (2 mo overdue, power will be shut off soon) PAID!!!!!!!!!!

other important things i don't have screenshots of:

some things are on my amazon wishlist like my cats special food.

FOOD: we have no food stamps. the need for food money will not necessarily end. food banks only provide so much.

car maintenance: overdue for oil change and the brakes are squeaking badly (oil change is like $50 around here plus brakes idk maybe $80?)

gas: to transport myself to health appointments and my wife to work.

[bomberqueen17]

adderall day 1

I'm not going to have any particular deep thoughts about this, but I feel like I should write stuff down. Several people have advised that.

I still don't know how much this is going to cost me, as my insurance couldn't be verified and I'm going to have to do messy things probably to find out. But I've got the pills in my hot little hand, 16 of them, and a follow-up appointment, and perhaps by then I'll know what this is actually costing.

It seems that it varies wildly how people manage to get ADHD dx's. Many many PCPs will not diagnose it or prescribe for it. It seems extremely gatekeepy to me, and not in a helpful way. my own PCP, as I describe more and more of my struggles to get healthcare in general, is being revealed to me to be less and less of any kind of a good fit-- she just seems baffled by everything I say. She asked if I have heartburn, for example, and I said, truthfully, oh yes, if I don't eat regularly, one of the ways I realize I've gone too long is that I start to have heartburn. So I've learned to be conscientious about my eating schedule, and eat small meals and snacks at regular intervals throughout the day, and that has cleared up the problem. And this actively baffled her, she was like "i've never heard of anything like this", and I can't imagine what she thought I was saying. Does no one else in the human race ever get queasy/stomach-acidy from going too long without food? Especially eating heavily and then not eating for a long time afterward? That's the worst for me, so I avoid that. I highly doubt I am the only person ever to experience this. But she seemed convinced that I must not know what heartburn is.

That's just one example. So. If I can get my head on straight at all, I am going to start looking for a new primary care physician. I'm sure this doctor is fine, just not for me.

(She is obsessed that my fasting blood glucose levels are too high. I read an article about it, in the 2010s sometime the CDC decided that 5.7 was a new worrying number (I don't know what the units are, but 7 is what people with well-managed diabetes shoot for), and now they were going to declare this new number "pre-diabetes" and start medicating it. The WHO has refused the concept of "pre-diabetes", pointing out that about 2% of people with this number wind up developing full-blown diabetes whether medicated or not, and that's about the same number of people who develop diabetes without having had this diagnosis, so it is in fact not any kind of reliable indicator of looming diabetes, so it should be referred to as "elevated fasting blood glucose levels" and not the new fictional "pre-diabetes". But there's money in selling that medicine, so American doctors are encouraged to make this diagnosis. And my doctor has put it into my chart that she plans to start me on Metformin if this number does not go down.

I'm refusing that. Medicate me for diabetes if I develop diabetes. I can be annually screened for it just like anyone. Sure, keep an eye on it! I take this seriously. But i am not getting medicated for a condition the WHO thinks is fictional. Thanks.)

Anyway that was a digression.

I'm hoping to at least make a start on dialing in my meds with this online guy, so that when I switch PCPs I can show up with the ADHD treatment as a fait accomplit and not have the new PCP throw a fit. I might try it with the current one too-- "Idk you told me it was incredibly complicated and insurance doesn't cover it so I went to my insurance company and they sent me to this guy and it wasn't complicated at all and I'm responding super well to the treatment so I guess this is what I do now?" but I am just anticipating her throwing a fit of some kind, since she is absolutely convinced I have major depressive disorder and has been trying to get me to go back on Celexa, which did me so much no good that I cold-turkeyed off it and gave myself horrible brain zaps. Don't fucking do that guys.

(It was with this same practice! It's on there, I no-showed to an appointment because I had so little executive function I wasn't even able to keep track of it! And she's still like yah medicating u for depression is super what's going to work. ma'am i have never been suicidal but I remember being on Celexa and most of it was my shitty life situation at the time but mostly it is a gray expanse of despair and ineffectualness, and getting inexorably fatter whilst starting to develop an eating disorder about it, and getting benched by my roller derby coach despite exercising myself to constant exhaustion and performing better than I ever had on the track because she saw my spreading waistline and assumed I was slacking off, and anyway. Yeah no.)

So anyway. I'm letting myself be stream of consciousnessy because it seems right. I had a reasonable breakfast, a lot of water, some coffee, a multivitamin, and my first pill about an hour ago, and am now ensconced in the recliner with the cat because the cat insists. I have started to feel.... kind of... like my throat feels kind of dry so I'm drinking more water, and I just got a little bit not quite dizzy and am acutely aware of all my eye movements, so I guess that's notable.

OK the plan. I would like to someday be able to make to-do lists, that's a medium-term goal. Meanwhile I'm still doing narratives of how i'd like a day to go. I have fallen off that a bit; I've been trying to do not a bullet journal but a just regular day planner in this new year (i got something on clearance off amazon lol) and mostly what I've used it for is as a diary post-hoc, writing down what i got done, and making little notes of what I want to get done, because otherwise my memory wipes itself and I don't know what I did all last week either. I fell off it this week because Dude was out of town and I was off kilter. But I'm going to fill back in what I can remember-- I'm keeping track of what meals I cook, what exercise I do, things like that-- and hope to keep it up going forward.

Routine, I hope, is what will help me.

Today. It is rainy today. I didn't get some of my stuff done while Dude was gone because of course the list I made would have taken six weeks of work, that's how my lists go. But I did get a lot done, so I'm going to write all that down. And today it is rainy, so I can spend time in the basement. What I want to do is empty out all my nice baskets I use to tote craft things around, and re-fill them with more curated selections. I think one basket for like, all the sewing tools, just all of them, in one place, and then another basket that is like, all of the embroidery supplies, and then a container that is An Adequate Selection Of Thread and also machine-sewing supplies? maybe? and then Active Projects can go into a third container that may or may not travel with me. Anyway, thinking about that is a work in progress.

I need to pack for my first trip of the season to the farm. I need to put away all the supplies from painting the kitchen, because I am finally officially totally completely done with that. I need to then tidy the kitchen counter and there's a little wooden cart that used to have our coffee stuff on it and I've been using it to dump all the shit and assorted project detritus from the ongoing painting on, and I need to then move that cart somewhere once I've put away all the things on it.

That seems like a reasonable amount of things to expect to complete today. OK I need to get out from under this cat because I have to pee now. All right. She'll be fine she just wants the chair really.

Yah ok i really gotta pee and dude is in the shower so i'm going to go get dressed and dance around a little lolsob. wish me luck.

[wanderersrest]

Some Idle Musings on Patlabor

I've talked about Patlabor twice in some capacity, so I figured why not go for the hat trick, no? (EDIT: The hat trick was ruined because I got tilted by a certain bad take involving Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans)

Patlabor is probably one of my favorite anime series of all time, especially when it comes to mecha anime. Granted, a big part of that is due to me recently coming into ownership of pretty much the entire series on blu-ray, but still. And seeing as how the second post on here was about how people should check it out (among other mecha shows), I figured I'd dive a little bit deeper into at least Patlabor. Who knows, I might touch on all of the other series at some point. I'll definitely cover G Gundam at some point, that much is assured.

Anyways. Patlabor. This isn't going to be a super deep dive, but there are three things I want to highlight with this series that I really like.

The World is Carefully Crafted to Justify Its Giant Robots

A common point of praise for Patlabor is due to how the worldbuilding is set up to accommodate the giant robots. A quick synopsis of Patlabor: giant robots known as Labors were created to help with construction projects. Following the creation of Labors came Labor-related created crimes. To combat these crimes, a special type of Labor was created to stop these types of criminal activity: the Patrol Labor, or Patlabor for short.

And it's not just there that the series fleshes out the Labors. The titular Patlabors (specifically the Model 98-AV Ingrams employed by the main characters) require a whole team outside of the pilots who operate the Labors, including spotters, transport platform operators, and mechanics. The television series also makes it a point of highlighting that the important part of the Labor is not the Labor itself, but the pilot data stored in the machine's computer. The world is so thought out, that the television series even touches on Labor insurance (yes really, and it's probably one of my favorite episodes of the TV series, maybe out of every anime series I've ever watched). This is, if I understand things correctly, why a lot of people love the OVA timeline (which consists of the Early Days OVA as well as the movies).

Great Characters Part 1: Noa Izumi

If the OVA timeline has more of a focus on the worldbuilding and the politics at hand, then the TV timeline (consisting of the TV anime and the New Files OVA) hones in on the character interactions. It's a real shame too, because the main cast are a pretty likeable group. Our main character in particular, Ingram Unit 1 Pilot Noa Izumi, is a delight to watch in pretty much every scene she's in, especially in the TV series. To it's credit, the OVA timeline does keep a lot of the appeal behind the characters. If anything, I'd argue that the change in tone of the OVA timeline is both natural and an extension of the pessimism following the bursting of the Japanese Economic Bubble.

But back to Noa, part of what I like about her as a character is her resilience. There are moments throughout the various entries in the franchise where she gets knocked down, but due to the nature of her work, she gets back up to finish the job. That kind of attitude helps to round out her more usual cheery and kind of naive attitude to most things. Also, she's very hot-blooded. Which is great for any mecha series, regardless of the style of mecha show you're watching. Speaking of hot blood, I think I'd be remiss to not mention my other favorite character in the series (that's not Division 2 chief Kichii Gotoh, because that's cheating)...

Great Characters 2: Isao Ota

I think the YouTuber Argonbolt described Ingram Unit 2 pilot Isao Ota best: "...he's 50% gun nut, 50% [ego]." It's almost impossible for me to talk about how great Noa is as a character without bringing up Ota. I could just say that he works great as a foil to Noa, but I think I'd be selling our red-blooded gun nut short. Part of what makes Ota such a great character to me is the fact that, whereas a lot of Noa's growth pertains to her as a person, Ota's growth is essentially tied to how he handles his Labor.

This is because Ota is a hothead.

No, seriously. Ota's hotheadedness is a large part of what makes him such a great character, and that's just going off of the sheer entertainment value of it all. It also helps that Ota being an American-styled cowboy cop (even moreso than the American Kanuka Clancy, and she's already a bit of a cowboy cop) oftentimes has consequences. Heck, a lot of Division 2's notoriety stems largely from Ota's hotheadedness. But Ota's hotheadedness often hides aspects that betray the manly image he's crafted throughout the series. It's little things like how he frets over Noa like an older brother when she runs off on her own to chase down a bank robber, or the change in his demeanor when Kanuka and her replacement, Takeo Kumagami, start getting into an argument with each other. This depth of character is better explored in the episodes that focus squarely on Ota, with my favorite of the bunch being the aforementioned insurance episode (TV Anime Epsiode 37, "I'm Selling Peace of Mind/Safety on Sales"). Without getting into spoilers, part of what makes it great is how the episode highlights how hard it is to avoid a lot of property damage when it comes to piloting giant robots. But I'm now rambling a bit too much, so let me jump ahead to the last bit about what I like about Patlabor.

This Series Loves Giant Robots

More than anything else, Patlabor loves its giant robots. My first time learning about this series was seeing some random user on Reddit go "See, unlike Gundam, Patlabor is cool." And if there are two things that make me, as an ardent fan of mecha anime, really upset, it's one of at least three things:

Bashing series X in order to prop up series Y (Bonus points if its Gundam)

Saying X is unlike other mecha shows because X focuses on the characters (No 86/Evangelion/Code Geass/Gurren Lagann fans, 86/Eva/CG/TTGL is not special, especially when Fang of the Sun Dougram/Space Runaway Ideon/Mobile Suit Gundam/Getter Robo exist.)

Denigrating a series because it's not super realistic (Basically the whole "Real vs Super" debate. I'll touch on it when I talk about G Gundam.)

But after watching Patlabor on my own, I realized that this series really loves its giant robots. It's often shown through both the worldbuilding, which is really just an excuse to justify having giant robots in the setting to begin with, and also the fact that it's main character is, for all intents and purposes, a mecha otaku.

Final Thoughts

Off the top of my head, I don't really have much else to say about Patlabor for now. Granted, there were a lot of things I didn't get to talk about in depth like how the computer systems the Labors employ are, in my opinion, a great example of a seemingly realistic take on AI (not the generative kind, just AI in general), or how one of my favorite character interactions in the series is the pseudo parent-child bond between Chief Engineer Sakaki and Noa and how their relationship reminds me of my relationship with my dad. Most importantly, while I do have an overall preference of the TV timeline over the OVA timeline, I don't think it's necessarily better. The two timelines have their own strengths, but both timelines benefit from the other existing. It also doesn't cut down on the fact that there are still people out there who enjoy Patlabor, and that's really all that matters.

Anyways, I'm going to go crawl back into a hole and wait for any morsel of news involving Patlabor EZY.