#1: my insurance does not cover any of that

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[doberbutts]

Hello all, informative trans guy post here. IF you are taking testosterone as part of your HRT or transition process, you've probably heard several times that testosterone is a controlled substance, very difficult to source, and that you are limited on the amount of which you can have at one time. You may even be wondering the truth of these claims.

Well... the answer is... that it's mostly true. But I can tell you how to make things a bit easier on yourself, if you're having a hard time.

This "guide" is 100% USAmerican based. Sorry, but I live here, and don't know how this works outside of my own country.

1: Testosterone is a controlled substance.

Well... it is. Testosterone is a controlled substance in the United States, being a Schedule III drug along with drugs like ketamine. This means that in some states, it can be very difficult to source at all and even harder to source in significant or consistent quantities. This is largely due to people taking anabolic steroids, and very little of testosterone's controlled status historically had anything to do with transgender people using it as part of their medical transition, though that is beginning to change as trans men become more visible. There are now some laws restricting the usage of testosterone for the purpose of transitioning, especially in cases of minors and young adults transitioning through their teens.

This is a little different from estrogen, which is prescription-only in its injectable form but does not have controlled status on a federal level. Testosterone, by comparison, is controlled in all of its forms and possessing it without a prescription is very illegal. While it is possible to source and make testosterone without a prescription, much like estrogen, the legal consequences for doing so are much more severe. For this reason, this is not a guide to doing so without using a prescription.

2: Testosterone is difficult to source.

Provided you have a doctor willing to give you a prescription, and either insurance or financial means of covering the cost of said prescription, testosterone is only difficult to source if you are living in a state that heavily restricts the ability to source Schedule III drugs (or has introduced laws restricting the ability to dispense HRT to transgender patients) or if there is some sort of shortage happening.

Testosterone is available at every national pharmacy chain in various forms, and can also be ordered online by pharmacies that may legally serve your state provided they operate within the state's laws. Remember, cis men take testosterone in various forms for their own hormonal function at times, so this is far from a niche transgender-only drug.

Your state may have restrictions on exactly how much testosterone you may pick up from the pharmacy at any given time, how frequently you're allowed to get it, and occasionally how much you're allowed to have in general. This may also change depending if you are picking your testosterone up from a physical brick-and-mortar pharmacy, or if you are ordering online for home delivery.

Some pharmacies will try to tell you they legally can't dispense more- this may conflict with what your doctor tells you, so if your doctor is willing to give you the maximum your state allows you to have and your pharmacy says a different maximum, you need to get your doctor to advocate for you.

Certain forms of testosterone are more prone to shortages and backorders than others. Gel appears to be commonly backordered, and manufacturer shortages are not uncommon. For this reason, my doctor prescribes me a three month supply at a time. For a long time, CVS would argue with me that they legally could only fill one month at a time. I mentioned this to my doctor, because this inevitably means that with the pharmacists at CVS screwing around with my meds that I am not consistent on my dosing month-to-month because when a shortage happens I simply have to go without until they finally get another shipment in.

Now, thankfully, she wrote me a prescription to navigate around that with the three month supply, but she also had someone from her office call and give them a dressing down on why they needed to actually comply with her orders for her patient. I happen to live in a state that the maximum is truly a three month supply, so CVS should not be arbitrarily shortening a doctor's prescription just because they don't think they should be dispensing that many.

Similarly, testosterone is unfortunately not cheap. I happen to take the gel version, which retails at about $400 USD per bottle, and each bottle lasts one month, so that's about $1600 USD worth of medication sitting on my bathroom sink in that photo with four bottles. Now, thankfully, I have insurance, and the insurance I have allows me to pick up all of my medications for free provided the insurance is actually willing to cover it. This means that I spent a grand total of $0 USD on these bottles. Insurance costs vary greatly, so it's wise to see exactly how much a larger supply will cost you prior to actually committing. My current insurance does not allow me to order medications online, but my previous insurance that I did actually have to pay for medications was often cheaper to order online ($40 for a three month supply) than pick up at the CVS ($20 for a one month supply). This is something to consider depending on your individual coverage.

3: You can only have so much testosterone at once.

As for why I have four bottles- due to my job change, I had an insurance change as well as introduced my state's version of Medicaid as a secondary insurance. My initial insurance did not cover these bottles but did cover individual gel packets dispensed as a sealed box of 30. My current insurance does not cover the individual packets but does cover the bottles. The packets are a slightly different dosage than the pump on the bottle, and when making that switch my doctor accidentally under-dosed me, which then created a significant excess when I went to pick up the next month's bottle. As a result, that initial bottle lasted roughly two months before we caught the under-dosing via my bloodwork, which means I opened the second bottle right as I was getting ready to pick up the third (and fourth and fifth).

This is not an illegal situation as there is a clear paper trail within my medical record and prescription history detailing this situation playing out, but it can be dangerous in certain states to have this much over the amount you're supposed to have. It can be illegal to stockpile a Schedule III drug, so I do not recommend intentionally creating this sort of situation for yourself.

That being said, this sort of worked in my favor. Schedule III drugs often need a prior authorization from your insurance before they are willing to cover these medications. Drugs that are not necessarily expected within your demographic, such as being marked as female but taking testosterone, also often require a prior auth. A prior auth can take up to a month to go through insurance, though usually is less than a week. I just passed my testosterone anniversary in late September, which also means my prior auth expired, as they're only good for one year. Instead of, you know, telling me my prior auth expired, CVS just sent me a text stating they were having a problem with my order and that they were in contact with my doctor about it. A week went by with no change so I called my doctor, who reported they never received anything from CVS but would look into the issue and see what the problem was. They called me back the next day to tell me about my expired prior auth and that they fixed it. I then got the text from CVS saying my prescription was ready to pick up about 5 minutes later. That does mean that if I did not have this excess, I would have once again simply not had testosterone for about a week.

4: Public vs Private Insurance

Whether or not your state's insurance will cover testosterone depends entirely on your state. Obama, when creating the Affordable Care Act or now known as "Obamacare", did make it so that states are supposed to be required to cover HRT for transgender adults and even minors in certain situations. Trump did away with several of these protections, which then emboldened certain states to whittle away at what was left. Other states, like my own, strengthened their protections in response, making it easier to access HRT.

This means that while my own state allows me to get free testosterone through the state's insurance (which is income-based eligibility, and I'm making a significant amount over minimum wage but still considered below my state's poverty line) - a friend of mine in another state cannot access HRT using his state's Medicaid, and is required to use private insurance. Additionally, I have insurance through my job, but it does not cover a large enough percentage for it to be feasible. This means that legally, I have to pay for my workplace insurance (barf, that's $200 out of every paycheck) but on the flip side because of my income eligibility I also can still have the state insurance as my co-insurance and that will clean up whatever leftover costs my private insurance leaves me with.

It also means my top surgery will be free, provided I can get it approved through my private insurance. My public insurance will pay the remaining balance of whatever my private insurance is willing to cover, but will not pay for things my private insurance isn't willing to cover at all.

This also means I have to attend exclusively doctors that will take my public insurance if I want to do things this way- however that's a fairly robust list in my state compared to others, so I didn't have to change doctors at all.

This situation is not always the case for every state's Medicaid- but it is worth looking into if you need options and your current insurance sucks or if you're not insured at all.

[scientia-rex]

Because my most popular post is about weight loss and how it's a crock, I get a lot of questions about various things, including bariatric surgery--just posted the link to the post I did about that--but also Ozempic/Wegovy, the once-weekly injectable semaglutide medication that was developed for diabetes but was found to have independent benefits on weight loss.

I always said that weight loss was like Viagra: when a medication came along that actually worked, it would explode. We'd all hear about it. Fen-phen in the 90s worked, but it was bad for your heart. Stimulants, like meth, may cause weight loss, but they do it at the cost of heart health, and raise your likelihood of dying young. Over the counter weight loss supplements often contain illegal and unlisted thyroid hormone, which is also dangerous for the heart if taken in the absence of a real deficiency. Orlistat, or "Alli," works the same way as the Olestra chips Lays made in the 1990s--it shuts off your ability to digest fats, and the problem with that is that fats irritate the gut, so then you end up with fatty diarrhea and probably sharts. Plus Alli only leads to 8-10lbs of weight loss in the best case scenario, and most people are not willing to endure sharts for the sake of 8lbs.

And then came the GLP-1 agonists. GLP stands for glucagon-like peptide. Your body uses insulin to make cells uptake sugar. You can't just have free-floating sugar and use it, it has to go into the cells to be used. So if your body sucks at moving sugar into the cells, you end up with a bunch of glucose hanging out in places where it shouldn't be, depositing on small vessels, damaging nerves and your retinas and kidneys and everywhere else that has a whole lot of sensitive small blood vessels, like your brain.

Glucagon makes your liver break down stored sugars and release them. You can think of it as part of insulin's supporting cast. If your body needs sugar and you aren't eating it, you aren't going to die of hypoglycemia, unless you've got some rare genetic conditions--your liver is going to go, whoops, here you go! and cough it up.

But glucagon-like peptide doesn't act quite the same way. What glucagon-like peptide does is actually stimulating your body to release insulin. It inhibits glucagon secretion. It says, we're okay, we're full, we just ate, we don't need more glucagon right now.

This has been enough for many people to both improve blood sugar and cause weight loss. Some patients find they think about food less, which can be a blessing if you have an abnormally active hunger drive, or if you have or had an eating disorder.

However, every patient I've started on semaglutide in any form (Ozempic, Wegovy, or Rybelsus) has had nausea to start with, probably because it slows the rate of stomach emptying. And that nausea sometimes improves, and sometimes it doesn't. There's some reports out now of possible gastroparesis associated with it, which is where the stomach just stops contracting in a way that lets it empty normally into the small intestine. That may not sound like a big deal, but it's a lifelong ticket to abdominal pain and nausea and vomiting, and we are not good at treating it. We're talking Reglan, a sedating anti-nausea but pro-motility agent, which makes many of my patients too sleepy to function, or a gastric pacemaker, which is a relatively new surgery. You can also try a macrolide antibiotic, like erythromycin, but I have had almost no success in getting insurance to cover those and also they have their own significant side effects.

Rapid weight loss from any cause, whether illness, medication, or surgery, comes with problems. Your skin is not able to contract quickly. It probably will, over long periods of time, but "Ozempic face" and "Ozempic butt" are not what people who want to lose weight are looking for. Your vision of your ideal body does not include loose, excess skin.

The data are also pretty clear that you can't "kick start" weight loss with Ozempic and then maintain it with behavioral mechanisms. If you want to maintain the weight loss, you need to stay on the medication. A dose that is high enough to cause weight loss is significantly higher than the minimum dose where we see improvements in blood sugar, and with a higher dose comes higher risk of side effects.

I would wait on semaglutide. I would wait because it's been out for a couple of years now but with the current explosion in popularity we're going to see more nuanced data on side effects emerging. When you go from Phase III human trials to actual use in the world, you get thousands or millions more data points, and rare side effects that weren't seen in the small human trials become apparent. It's why I always say my favorite things for a drug to be are old, safe, and cheap.

I also suspect the oral form, Rybelsus, is going to get more popular and be refined in some way. It's currently prohibitively expensive--all of these are; we're talking 1200 or so bucks a month before insurance, and insurance coverage varies widely. I have patients who pay anything from zero to thirty to three hundred bucks a month for injectable semaglutide. I don't think I currently have anyone whose insurance covers Rybelsus who could also tolerate the nausea. My panel right now is about a thousand patients.

There are also other GLP-1 agonists. Victoza, a twice-daily injection, and Trulicity, and anything else that ends in "-aglutide". But those aren't as popular, despite being cheaper, and they aren't specifically approved for weight loss.

Mounjaro is a newer one, tirzepatide, that acts on two receptors rather than one. In addition to stimulating GLP-1 receptors, it also stimulates glucose-dependent insulinotropic polypeptide (GIP) receptors. It may work better; I'm not sure whether that's going to come with a concomitantly increased risk of side effects. It's still only approved for diabetes treatment, but I suspect that will change soon and I suspect we'll see a lot of cross-over in terms of using it to treat obesity.

I don't think these medications are going away. I also don't think they're right for everyone. They can reactivate medullary thyroid carcinoma; they can fuck up digestion; they may lead to decreased quality of life. So while there may be people who do well with them, it is okay if those people are not you. You do not owe being thin to anyone. You most certainly do not owe being thin to the extent that you should risk your health for it. Being thin makes navigating a deeply fat-hating world easier, in many ways, so I never blame anyone for wanting to be thin; I just want to emphasize that it is okay if you stay fat forever.

[imtryingbuck]

Divorce Came With A Price

~ gif not mine credit goes to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: it’s been 6 months since he last saw you.

Word count: 1295

Warnings: Angst, I’m sorry. Death, cancer, suicide – please don’t read if the warnings upset you.

A/N: my mum cried when she read this.

Masterlist

Part 1

It’s been 6 months since Bucky last saw you, he’s hated it. He misses you. He misses your beautiful face, the way your smile makes his heart tingle. Misses the way your eyes shines brightly when you’re talking about your hobbies and interests. Misses the feel of your soft skin under his calloused hands. He just misses the love of his life, his other half - his sweet perfect wife. 

He remembers how your smile dropped as he tells you he wanted a divorce. Remembers the heartbreakingly look in your eyes as he told he’d been having an affair. That one look has haunted his dreams, his every waking moment. He can still feel the acid in his throat as he wills himself to nod as you ask that one question. Nothing more nothing less. You just wanted that one question to be answered and he couldn’t even look at you let alone answer verbally. He didn’t even know you left the house until the divorce hearing; he watched you walk away with Matt and Foggy wishing he could say something but nothing comes out. He watched as your feet falter when you see Carly. He knows exactly what you’re thinking.

But It’s over now.

It’s over now and he can get you back.

It’s over now and he’s hoping and praying that you’ll understand and forgive him.

It’s over now and he’s going to move heaven and earth to have his love back in his arms.

He finds out you’ve been staying with Matt since he broke both of your hearts. How does he do this? How does he knock on the door hoping that neither one of you punches him in the face (not that he doesn’t deserve it) he just hopes you’ll listen to him.

Bucky walks into the florist to get the biggest bouquet of your favourite flowers he can get. 

The skies start to turn dark even with the sun shining brightly, if he didn’t know any better he’d think it was forewarning for what’s to come.

Knocking on the wooden door it’s Matt that greats him. “What? What are you doing here” if Bucky wasn’t a super soldier he’d be scared with the tone in Matts voice.

“I-um I need to see Y-Y/N. Please”

“She’s not here. She’s not here anymore” Bucky can’t understand why Matt sounds broken.

“Well um where does she live now?” He’s trying not to stumble off his words.

“No James you don’t understand” Matt looks up towards the ceiling then continues but doesn’t get the chance.

“What do you mean I don’t understand? Matt look I know you hate me for what I did to Y/N but I had a reason, I just need to see her to explain it to her. Please Matt just tell me where she lives”. He begging and pleading and it’s clear as day in the way his voice wavers.

Matt speaks in a fast manner “Get inside before Ms Jenson comes out and complains” 

The apartments a mess, there’s takeaway boxes laying around, the sinks full of pots and there’s trash overflowing in the bin. The apartment looks nothing like it did 8 months prior when Y/N and himself went round for a double date with Matt and some woman he can’t remember the name of. Matt sits down and lazily waves his arm round for Bucky to sit to.

“Matt wher-“ he doesn’t get to finish his sentence.

“James she’s gone, she’s dead.” The air is cut off. The room is spinning. His world has ended. He doesn’t know what to do or say so he stares blankly at Matt waiting for the punchline of a joke that isn’t even remotely funny. Matt understands he needs to say more so he does. “That day you told her you wanted a divorce to be with your side piece she’d been at the hospital for her results. It was cancer. Terminal. She’d been told she had about 6 months to a year left. Her insurance didn’t cover her medical expenses so she stopped treatment, I told her I would pay but you know what she’s like-was like. 3 weeks ago she made me go out on a date with Karen she said she’d be fine and made me promise I’d have a good time. I got home around 11 and went to bed. The next morning, I couldn’t hear her walking around, so I went into her room, she um she’d taken pills, enough to end her life. It was too late to do anything, they said she’d been gone for 18 hours. Id only been gone for an hour” tears stream down both of the men’s faces. Matt struggles to continues “she begged me not to say anything to you, she didn’t want to get in the way of your relationship. She thought if you knew you’d change your mind and not divorce her just because she was dying. Y/N begged me James so I couldn’t I couldn’t do that to her-“ Bucky cuts him off. 

“I didn’t have an affair. I swear. Hydra was after me again and I had to divorce Y/N so she wouldn’t get hurt. I told her I had an affair so she would divorce me, I knew cheating was a deal breaker so I lied. I fucking lied and she’s dead. I lied and she’s not even going to know the truth.” He tries so hard to continue but can’t his airway is closing up. He passes out.

10 years have been and gone, the pain of losing the only person he has ever loved didn’t stop not that he wants it to. Bucky wants to remember the pain. 

In the 10 years that have passed he’s visits your grave every Friday, wedding anniversary, the date you two got together, the date he proposed, your birthday and on Christmas. After the fifth year Steve told him he needed to move on, and well long story short they had a fight and Bucky cried saying he couldn’t move on. In the end everyone around him understood that he would never move on from the love of his life. He sits there no matter the weather and talks to you for hours. He told you Matt and Karen were having a baby girl, then told you they named her after you. Told you all about his cat Alpine. After every visit without fail or another thought he tells you he loves you and can’t wait to see you again.

It’s been 10 years 5 months 12 days since you passed away and Bucky’s on his way to see you.

He’s on a mission that’s gone horribly wrong he’s been shot too many times. He’s so tired and Steve’s trying to get him to stay awake but it’s no use.

“Stevie p-please stop. I w-wan-t to be w-ith my Y-Y/N I need to be with h-er” Even though Bucky gasps for breaths his voice is strong enough to let Steve and the team know that this is what he wants. Steve gives him a slow nod with tears sliding down his cheeks, he clasps hands with his best friend and keeps locked tight long after Bucky takes his last breath.

He leaves the world with a smile on his face.

You stand there waiting for him and as soon as you lock eyes with him you’re running. Jumping into his arms and before he can say anything you kiss him. Hard. After you separate you tell him you know the truth. You heard him every time he would visit your grave. You tell each other how much you love one another. You take his hand and lead him into your new life.

Tags: @learisa @bruher @pattiemac1 @kentokaze @almosttoopizza @yvessaintmuerte

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[coral-skeleton]

Help me afford top surgery

Hi y'all, for those who don't know me, I'm a disbled, neurodivergent, trans man living in Cape Town, South Africa. I'm also a gradstudent in Astronomy currently finishing up my MSc, an artist and a poet.

In South Africa we don't really have many options to pursue transition, our private medical aids and insurance don't cover any of it, not even hospital costs as they classify gender affirming care as a cosmetic process instead of the life saving medical care we all know it is. Going through the public health sector is also not really an option as the waitlist is over 26 years long due to our national government again seeing gender affirming care as purely cosmetic and only giving one spot for any gender affirming surgery per year.

In South Africa there's also still alot of stigma around being trans and trans people face violence and discrimination on a daily basis, so in addition to the usual benefits of getting top surgery, it will also greatly improve my safety

This is however very expensive, being a student I am on a very tight budget, living paycheck to paycheck already, trying to save up for a procedure that costs nearly my entire yearly income is next to impossible, I also can't turn to my family in this instance as they are extremely transphobic

So the only option I have left is to try and crowdfund it. As I am South African I unfortunately can't use go fund me, so I'm using the South African croudfunding service, backabuddy, it does accept paypall and I-Pay

Any and all help will be greatly appreciated

So far I have raised:

R11 111.00/R120 000.00

$590.13/$6 374.00

(usd for convenience, conversion rate on 6 march 2024, $1 = R18.83)

[d3f3n3str4t10n]

Playing through Chapter 1 with the info gained from Chapter 2 (Or I guess, watching playthroughs, in my case) helps shed a lot of light on certain details... but one thing that always struck me as strange even after that was the phone call between Ashley and Renee.

Here, it seems like she's showing genuine shame for what she's doing, or what she feels like she has to do... though exactly what that is, is left unclear. The vagueness of it all is, of course, to build up mystery as to what it could mean, which we find out more about in Chapter 2. And in chapter 2, we find out that Renee was... heavily implied to be very much in on what these quarantine people were doing. Selling their organs, using their deaths as an insurance scam, to the point of willingly and deliberately hiring a hitman to kill Andrew and Ashley once they escaped.

We aren't fully sure about how deep this conspiracy goes; If this is something the water company as a whole is pushing on a widespread scale, or just certain people within it, or even if the 'parasites' are real or not. (Though I think it's all but clear that they were just made up...) We know from flashbacks and the Grave's own words that Renee wasn't exactly the most 'present' mother figure. Yet when confronted about it, she of course, denies it. (To a degree, anyway.)

We haven't seen or heard much of any direct interactions between Leyley and Renee, or much of Renee in general, so we don't have too much to go off of. This could very easily just be classic Graves' Family Gaslighting here... but I honestly think there's some truth to what Renee is saying here.

(Is it just me, or are Renee's eyes in this picture... slightly more green than they are in the present day?) Anyway, as we see in the screenshot above, Renee doesn't seem very worried about whatever Andy is upset about. We know that Andy had the responsibility of raising Leyley from a young age, which is likely what this conversation is about. Her uncaring, nonchalant look here gives off the impression that she's more annoyed about the situation than concerned. (Or she just has a resting bitch face, who knows?) She claims she "Thought they were getting along, so she didn't want to see what was happening." when apologizing to Andrew. I'm assuming this mainly meant that she didn't want to spend the time and effort to raise her kids, and just put the burden of disciplining Leyley on Andy. She was never counting on Leyley being such a handful... But she does bring up a... well, not a great point but a point nonetheless.

Why... didn't she turn her in? Ashley's quick to point out that it was simply to cover her own ass, and save herself the embarrassment and trouble that would be; having your kids murder another kid, even if accidentally... but is that... really it? Considering Andy and Leyley were so young when that happened (I'm willing to bet Andy wasn't even 10 yet. At the most, he was probably 12-13, meaning Leyley was around 10-11...) I really don't think the sentencing for them would've been... THAT bad? I don't know about the laws for this kind of stuff, but kids accidentally killing another kid while playing an innocent game of hide and seek... It feels like they very easily could've played the "I'm just a little kid I had no idea what would happen I'm so sorry" card fairly easily. This probably would've led to Mr. and Mrs. Graves taking most of the heat, being their parents. At least, that's what Ashley claims Renee was actually concerned about. But... then... why was she 'sorry' when she told Ashley to stop calling her? If she saw her as nothing more than an embarrassment, why would she say that? Was she only doing it to come off as caring one last time? Was a small spark of regret and humanity poking through her facade as she left her kids to slowly starve to death and be harvested for their organs? Did she really 'try' with Ashley? We know through the "Mother's Intuition" preview video that we'll be getting at least 1 flashback from Renee's perspective, and we know that we'll be seeing many more flashbacks with the family when they were still together, and possibly seeing some of their extended family. (Staying at their grandparent's house, for example.) I'd very much like to know what *they* thought about all this. Their reaction to Renee getting pregnant to young, why Renee decided to keep the baby, (If that was even her decision to begin with...), why she thought it was fine having another, (Even if Andy was an 'easy child,' there had to be more to that decision, surely. Was Renee just that impulsive back then? Did she not see that having 2 children would just be more work? Why did she want to have another kid specifically???)

I really do think there's more to Renee than we've seen and heard so far. I don't think she's as heartless as some of her actions make her seem. I genuinely think that, at one point, she 'tried' with Ashley. But at some point, she gave up, and left Andy to pick up the slack. Maybe it's just cope, idk.

[kurinhimenezu]

90 Day Baby Daddy - Adam -HH

Prologue

Chapter 1

A little late! But the holidays are over so now I have more time to work on this <3 Enjoy!

6 months ago, she didn’t dream of being a single mom but here she was, rubbing her nose against this babbling cutie. 

“Thank you so much for taking care of her…the dinner rush was pretty hectic today” (Y/n) smiled at the baby cooing and blowing spit bubbles to herself.

Living in a small apartment does have its perks, cheap rent and a community she can count on. It was hard the first months, especially when Addie was still incubating and even more when the baby was born premature. 

Y/n was just lucky her insurance covered most of it and only had to co-pay a quarter of the bill...which she was still paying off.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, she was an angel, just holler when you need any more babysitting okay?” Mrs. Pancakes smiled, holding on to the younger woman’s arm as Y/n escorted the sweet neighbor back to her door.  

Mrs. Pancakes, aptly named due to her amazing homemade pancakes, was a godsend whenever (Y/n) needed someone last minute. And the old lady was always so quick to give her food when she had the time to cook a little extra. 

Back at her place, Y/n laughed softly at her baby's babbling, pretending to understand what she means before opening the fridge; only to find half empty shelves of opened oranges, eggs and condiments. No actual food.

Y/n sighed, “Damn…guess I need to do some shopping huh…” 

Her baby copied her expression, giving the fridge a pout as her mother was forced to do some budgeting in her head.

It was nearly a quarter to 10…she can’t very well ask the old lady across the hall to babysit again, it’s SO late…but she couldn’t leave her baby alone…that’s illegal. 

“Hey Fish, Another round of waffles for table 6”, Arrem handed the ticket order to the shitty diner’s cook before tucking the pencil back behind her ear. “Hungry bunch huh? When do you think they’ll go?” 

The cook scoffed, starting another batch on the oiled-up grill, “More like dead starving, that table needs to slow down before we run out of ingredients” 

Fish kept his voice low as Arrem chuckled under her breath, keeping an eye on her girlfriend, Pen, serving refills to the only occupied table in the diner.

Arrem rolled her eyes at Fish's worry over the cooking stuff. It’s not like this place was jumping anyway. It’s good but it’s not Eden Garden with their unlimited breadsticks. More like Apple House to be honest. 

The bell jingled, making Arrem look up with a raised brow, “Y/n? What’re you doing here, I thought you finished your overtime?” 

Y/n smiled sheepishly, Addie waking up from her nap and smelling the fresh waffles. 

“Uh yeah..ha..uhm about that, hey Fish?” Y/n called, pushing the stroller inside the diner. “I’m gonna need an advance on my pay…again” 

Fish made a face before putting the stack of food on the order window, “Aw..damn y/n again? You know you advanced your cheque last week, right?” 

Arrem took the tray of waffles, kissing her teeth, “Have a heart Fish, Addie got sick last week” 

Y/N sighs, unbuckling her kid and letting her roam all over the diner, the whole place is locked closed anyway, Pen texting her between work to gossip about some bigshot renting out the whole diner for the night. 

“I dunno...if I advance your check again you won’t have any left over for your actual salary in a few weeks..” Fish rubbed the back of his neck just as Arrem and Pen walked back behind the bar counter. "At this rate you'll owe ME money"

“I just need enough for groceries….” 

A pancake flopped off his fork with a gross squish as Adam’s eyes widened in recognition. 

The woman that came through the door was one of the best fucks he’s had in months. Fuck, he can’t for the life of him remember her name but he does recognize the great pair of tits he sucked on that one wild underground concert almost a year ago.  

Hopefully, the bitch wouldn’t recognize him and chew him out for dipping out so quickly. He does not need another scandal.

Adam watched as discreetly as he could at the diner staff talking amongst themselves from his table. 

His band mates watched Adam poke his pancake against his cheek before taking a bite while glaring holes at the back of the staffs’ heads.

A soft coo interrupted the table and they all simultaneously looked down to the floor.

Little baby Addie found herself interested with the strange looking people at the diner she always plays in and started to tug at Adam’s bootlaces and trying to put them in her mouth. 

“Mmuh” she giggled. 

Adam felt like his chest got shot with an arrow at seeing the baby’s face. 

His bandmates all let out soft awww’s as Adam picked up the chubby kid.

Eyes like his looked up and around as Adam stared at the tiny thing. 

Huh…odd 

“Okay, you’re lucky we’re doing groceries for the diner tomorrow so I can afford to give all of this to you” said Fish, packing up the leftovers and whatever else he could give from the kitchen, even cooking up a batch of his famous stir fry to go. “I bet the kid would love to try some of this huh?” 

Y/n could almost cry as Fish handed her the bags of food, along with Pen and Arrem promising to hand out whatever extra pantry stuff they have to help out. Pen mentioning that they’ll drop by anyway to hang out over the weekend. 

Fish pulled out his wallet and flipped through the bills, handing half of it to Y/n, “And here, some of your pay so you at least have SOME leftover when you get paid next week” 

“You guys are the best friends I could ever ask for!” Y/n whined, grateful for all the help. The packed food is enough for a week at least, and if needed, she could go to a bodega to buy some cheap food to stretch it out! As long as her kid is fed, everything will be fine.

Arrem gave her friend an awkward smile, “Least we could do considering we uh..heh…nevermind” 

Pen snorted a laugh, her hair bun bobbing. “We didn’t think you’d end up with someone though! You never told us who managed to pop the bun in the oven” 

Y/n swallows, sweat beading and avoiding all the eyes looking at her.  “You know what? I actually can’t remember!” She laughed, the rustling of plastic cover her voice as she stuffed them in her baby’s stroller, “It’s been a while too…with work and the mom brain--” 

Her eyes widened at seeing a very familiar man.  

Adam. 

Oh SHIT

“Hi, excuse me Sir? I’m SO sorry for my daughter…she tends to crawl into trouble” Y/n laughs nervously, tilting her body to the side and trying to keep as small as possible. What the hell when did she walk towards him?

Adam raised a brow before a knowing smirk spread itself across his face. “Aww…it’s okay beautiful, you have a pretty cute brat” 

Y/n tried to keep her face neutral as Adam lightly pinched her kid’s cheek, making Addie smile; she does not like how Adam is staring a little too hard at her baby. 

“Right uhm—” 

“How old is she?” 

“What?” Y/n frowned at Adam, he was still staring at the baby, letting her grab his finger and play with his rings.

Adam was thinking a little too hard and he was NOT made to be thinking so much. He sideeyes at Y/n with an unreadable look on his face. 

“Listen,” Y/n glared at Adam, lifting her baby out of his grasp. “I don’t let people I don’t know hold my kid let alone answering questions—” 

“Bitch do you not know who I am? I’m fucking Adam—” 

“Who?” 

Adam looked at this woman, almost flabbergasted that she had the gall to forget who he was. She can’t forget who he is! He’s fucking Adam! Rockstar extraordinaire and self proclaimed dickmaster! The best dick she probably ever had! She's lying through her fucking teeth. 

He narrowed his eyes, he could see his bandmates starting to sit up, eyes shifting between the two, if they should intervene, the diner"s staff watching over the strange woman like a hawk. 

Y/n matched his glare, arms crossed. She is not backing down.

He had his chance.

“Alright, alright, my bad” He raised a hand in surrender, shoulders easing up and an easy smile on his face before picking up a clean napkin. 

Adam gently wiped off the snot from the baby’s face. “I didn’t mean any harm” 

“Right…well anyway...we’re going” Y/N lifted Addie away from him, turning away to grab her bag and stroller. 

Adam watched as the baby looked over her mom’s shoulder, with the wide eyes babies seem to have and flapped her fingers as a goodbye.  

Adam’s bandmates watched as the woman strapped her kid to her stroller and nodded goodbye to the staff and left

They nervously looked at Adam silently steaming in his seat. 

“Uh...you good boss?” One of his guitarists, Riot, said almost sheepishly. Adam has a tendency to lash out when shit doesn’t go his way. 

Besides…it’s not like the kid was anyone important, so it was strange for Adam to react this way.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I’m so good don’t worry” Adam grinned. Sitting back in his chair, he grabbed an empty food bag and stuffed the tissue inside, tossing it to the end of the table. “So? After Halo Plaza and Seraphim stadium, what do you guys think of doing a few more concerts here?”

Y/n sighs, watching as another concert highlight of Adam’s started on TV. She angrily munches her dry mac n’ cheese as she watches him play. 

She can’t help but continue looking for that asshole after that encounter with him at the diner. It reignited something in her that she tried to forget. It’s not healthy but…

Y/n swallowed and looked over at the crib in the living room, her sleeping Addie, unawares that she finally met her father. 

An interview popped up with Adam in it, making her roll her eyes and grab the remote to turn it off. She needs to stop before things could get ugly.

It’s time for bed anyway, she’s more or less rest assured that she will never have to see Adam again after this. His tour in this city is over. 

“Say, Adam? You seem to be spending more time  out and about here in our little city for a while now…you said before that you don’t stay in one place too long? What made you play two concerts here in such close succession?” 

Adam laughs a bit, drinking some water, the bottle looking small in his bear-like hands. “Well let’s just say something caught my interest here and I wanted an excuse to stay” 

“Ohhhh” The host grinned at her audience, “Do I smell a mysterious girl in your life?” 

“Pshhh please, I don’t do relationships…” Adam grinned, shrugging his shoulders, his eyes glinting playfully in the camera light. The audience scream in excitement, some boo'd thinking that their chances were lost.

“Looks like a mysterious woman caught the eye of our playboy rockstar! Oh, I’m so exciitteed!” The host squealed, tugging her blouse down to show off her cleavage. “I wonder who it could be!” 

Adam grinned, wetting his lips before leaning back against his seat, “Yeah...wonder who”

Chapter 1 is finally posted! I'm still working on chapter 2 but who knows? Maybe it'll be finished anytime soon. I wish that Season 2 would come up already so we have more material to work with xD I miss my husband fr

Thanks for reading!

Tags: @sniigura

[gnomishcunning]

Re: requests, literally any nsfw for Zevlor? I love one (1) sad old tiefling

i, too, love one sad ole' tiefling. he and karlach own my wholeass heart. some of my own headcanons/portrayals of him snuck into these, hope ya don't mind.

(please send me more asks about zevlor i love him so much)

nsfw below the cut! MDNI

in general-

zevlor's a hopeless romantic in the truest of sense. his entire life has been about devotion - he joined a group of soldiers that you can't quite, he's a paladin who lived by his oath for decades, and he followed the literal god of guardians. he believes in devotion, and that undoubtedly leaked into his concept of relationships

maybe back in his young soldiering days, zevlor had some one-night stands, maybe an occasional fling or two. but his devotion to his duty came first, and he sadly never found time to fall in love like he wanted, or start a family.

so, if you somehow managed to lure zevlor into your bed? you need to know it's because he loves you. even if he hasn't told you.

he's an old, broken paladin. he's not willing to risk heartbreak and further grind down his sense of self-worth, not with everything he's been through.

he's already lost everything that made him who he was. he can't loose you, too.

the first time around? it's all sweetness. he approaches your naked body with a sort of reverence, like he can't quite believe what he's seeing. that this is actually happening.

his attention to detail is paramount. he's trimmed all his talons to a dull sort of safety, he's got warming oil tucked into his belt-pouch, hell - he brings his own contraceptive herbs, if he's with the type partner where that's a concern. he'll eat em in front of you if that helps.

consent is the sexiest thing, and he unwraps you like a present, carefully asking with every piece of clothing removed, dipping his head to press kisses to every new bit of your beautiful self revealed to him.

His hands tremble as they travel over soft skin, careful on every curve he covers. he's constantly checking in, making sure you're okay- can he touch here? caress you?

it's admittedly a very vanilla affair, but it's probably the most tender, loving sex you'll ever have.

he's going to want to top, and gods, how can you say no to that face?

you'll come first. no matter what. he presses kisses down your body until he can attend your clit or cock with careful flicks of his tongue, he'll dribble oil onto his fingers in front of you so he can slowly work you open, taking one finger, then two-

and gods, you just know he'd have amazing hands, right? callused and dextrous after a lifetime of sword-wielding, but ever-so careful and exact.

he won't want to take you until you've made a mess of the bedsheets, and when he does? he wants to take you in missionary so he can reach you everywhere, kiss every bit, and watch - commit every bit of this to memory, just in case he never has the opportunity take you apart, ever again

he's going to do his gods-damned best to insure you both cum at the same time. he'll press careful kisses to your mouth as you fall apart, one hand cupping your chin, just so he can watch your face as you cum

he's not a very loud moaner, but he repeats your name on loop until he finishes.

he gets hella clingy afterwards, and if you two have the right kind of relationship where he feels safe enough to be vulnerable which of course you two do, he'll probably cry afterwards

thankfully, this becomes a regular occurrence for both of you

in terms of kinks? zevlor's a bit of a mixed bag. he's got a lot of things he's passingly thought would be very hot to try with a partner, but he may carry some weird guilt about it.

in kinky, bdsm terms-

i'm a firm believer he's a switch, and he's equally willing (and wanting, tbh) to take both roles on, depending on the night. while bdsm wouldn't be a lifestyle-like thing for him and the majority of y'all's sex is vanilla, there's definitely occasions where he wants to indulge. and they're usually like, specifically-planned and orchestrated occasions, set to consume a whole evening, for both the kinky sex and the aftercare.

safewords include the faerun equivalent to the stoplight system (which i'm still working on), or something simple and straightforward that both of you can easily remember.

'bridle' is what comes to mind off the bat

he's absolute delighted if his partner wanted to take care of him, and yield without a fight. if he verbally protests he should be taking care of you, just say you wanna show him how much you love him. he'll fall apart in moments.

as a submissive? his biggest kinks would be praise and body worship, especially contrasted with some light verbal degradation. he's got some guilt to work through, and it's nice to do that with someone he trusts implicitly. but focus more on rewarding good behavior, rather than punishing bad behavior. he's disappointed enough in himself.

it's worth mentioning, this man is the furthest thing from a brat (for the most part). he wants to be good and get praised, since nothing else gets his heart beating as fast - but if you're being a tease, he's not above squirming and cursing at you in infernal

bondage is a yes, but he prefers one particular facet: rope. shibari's equal parts art form and bondage, and he'd appreciate the care and attention to detail that goes into it.

ironically? you wouldn't need bondage to hold him still. he's pretty damn good at following orders, and he's definitely eager to please. i don't think he'd be into 'good boy', but call him a 'sweet lil soldier'??? hahahaha oh wow

sweet and reassuring aftercare is a necessity, there's like a 95% chance he'd cry in a weird, cathartic sorta way. he's definitely a candidate for subdrop, so watch for that.

regardless of how pretty he is when he falls apart, he'd additionally play dominant with just as much eagerness. just say you trust him implicitly, he's incredibly handsome and attractive when he's in-charge, and you want him to take control. he'll more than happily agree - he's enthusiastic about it, especially when he sees how excited you are about the concept

speaking of- titles. Master sits weird with him, but "Sir" and "Commander" are both on deck. he kinda a fun lil illicit thrill using his old title in the bedroom. it'd go a long way to restore that ole' Hellrider Commander confidence, ngl.

he's a very firm, but very kind dominant, if that makes sense? he issues his commands, wants and expects them to be followed. his rewards good behavior with praise and petting (hair, or elsewhere on your body)

he's got a very good understanding about the lengths and limits of subspace given how well he knows you, he's incredibly attentive about how far his submissive has sunk, mentally, and he'll take them as far as they're looking to go- whether that's just taking their mind off a situation with some sweet tending and an orgasm or three, or totally obliterating their brainpower in a positive way with the paladick(tm) treatment

very into getting his partner to the point all they remember his name, designation, and 'please'. equally as fond as leaving hickies/marks/love bites all across their body, especially where people might be able to see. leaving physical evidence of his effect on his lover is a big turn-on

as equally into bondage and rope as a dominant as he is a submissive. it's a hobby he occasionally indulges in, and he enjoys prettying you up in fancy hemp ropes he probably dyed himself

he's fan-fuckin-tastic with aftercare, it's kind of insane. he's soft and careful, getting you a glass of water, he draws you a warm bath and helps you clean up, and then lures you back into your body from the weird, floaty world of subspace with soft touches and sweet praises. he'll get you snacks afterwards if you need them, and do just about anything you'll ask - from reading a book out-loud so you can listen to his voice, to granting you another orgasm if needed.

for the record if y'all want deets about how he is with a brat or an obedient submissive, someone needs to bite the bullet and send the ask, otherwise this post is gonna extend into forever

[beardedmrbean]

https://youtube.com/shorts/tfrvtVODQ5A?si=nWmux3kF1oDG-QH6

Oh what's this one going to be.......

The $750 goes out to everyone regardless of need so they can get whatever it is they need immediately without having to wait for the bureaucrats to start going through the applications for aid.

People that get those could have a billion dollars in the bank or nothing in the bank, but when it comes time to start actually going to work the person with a billion isn't going to get anything and the person with zero will (likely) get some aid in getting them back on their feet and time in whatever passes for a FEMA shelter.

I haven't heard anything about that being a loan either, with good reason.

Here's the AFP fact check on a lot of the various internet rumors about the aid going out.

AFP ranks high on my personal trust meter, for whatever that's worth to any of y'all.

_____________________________________

Jason Thomas Barnosky, associate director of the RAND Corporation's Disaster Management & Resilience Program (archived here), confirmed in an October 8 email that the $750 aid is a one-time payment that the agency does not consider a loan.

FEMA's rumor response page says recipients only have to pay the agency back if they get duplicate benefits through an insurance provider or another source.

"If you have insurance that covers your temporary housing costs, but you ask FEMA to advance you some money to help you pay for those costs while your insurance is delayed, you will need to pay that money back to FEMA after you receive your insurance settlement."

"There are other forms of assistance that you may qualify for to receive and Serious Needs Assistance is an initial payment you may receive while FEMA assesses your eligibility for additional funds," the agency's rumor response page says.

An October 4 press release about Helene relief efforts lists several kinds of additional aid survivors may be eligible to receive, including money to help repair or replace a damaged home (archived here). Other types of assistance could cover the repair or replacement of personal property and the costs of temporary lodging, medical or dental care, funerals, childcare and transportation.

The maximum aid for fixing or rebuilding a home, for example, is $42,500 (archived here). The exact amount depends on the damage assessed during a FEMA inspection.

Those seeking assistance can apply online at disasterassistance.gov, by calling 1-800-621-3362 or by downloading FEMA's app.  ___________________________________

Went through the same thing when Maui was on fire and everyone was screaming about them only getting $700 when it was just the same scenario we see here.

Not blaming people for getting pissed, there's a lot of bad information out there and going in with a knee jerk response on the whole thing based on what you're seeing online and such is something that is totally nonpartisan, (see people screaming about women now being forced to carry ectopic pregnancies or arrested for a miscarriage after RvW got overturned) so it's just a thing.

Next time this happens some more people will know better now.

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Hey! A trans minor here. I want to ask how should I proceed as a trans minor in Florida? I can’t move and my mother doesn’t take me being trans seriously. She says she supportive but I don’t think she is. I’m worried about all these bills coming into place and how they will affect me. I’m a FTgender fluid. Do you have any advice? Also, I play the flute :) it’s nice to see trans instrument players

Ayyy, trans orchestra forming!

So, I won't insult your intelligence by pretending things aren't about to get bad. But maybe I can help you understand the risks and how to keep yourself safe and sane.

An assumption: I don't know if you want to pursue physical transition and that is a convo 100% between you, your mom, and your healthcare providers, so I'm providing it as a neutral option for information purposes.

Also: The bills I mentioned have not passed yet, but they are sitting on the governor's desk. He will most likely sign them, meaning they'll take effect July 1, 2023.

Staying with your family

SB254 is the bill that affects you the most. It's the "kidnapping" bill. Yeah. :/

I don't know what your family situation is like, but if you have family members who oppose your mother's even lukewarm support, that could be enough for the state to remove you from her custody and turn you over to them. It would be up to you and your mom to figure out how to avoid/appease these family members so they don't think you are "at risk" of physical transition.

Gender-affirming care

SB254 also completely locks you out of puberty blockers, HRT, and surgery (the latter 2 in the past are sometimes pursued by older youth with parental consent) in this state. If you want to pursue any of this care, talk with your mother about getting it in another state. You will have to physically travel, because telemed for gender affirming care is also being banned due to new consent form requirements.

Once you are 18, you can pursue physical transition, if that's something you're interested in, but be aware that there are soon going to be so many obstacles to adult care, that it might as well be a transition ban for everyone. But if you're close to 18 and think HRT is for you, review the map for informed consent care. But be prepared for a long search and your insurance not covering things.

That said, if you need a therapist now, I think you may still be good here. Be very careful that you don't end up with someone who wants to use conversion therapy tactics -- these are typically going to be religious-based providers. Talking with other trans kids in your town might help you find a good provider.

Remember, if you don't like a therapist, you can stop going to them; shop around for one that makes you feel safe and makes you feel like they help you with the stress in your life.

Bathroom ban

HB 1521 does a few things:

Bans multi-stall gender neutral bathrooms (single stall is fine)

Requires schools to have bathroom policies

Empowers cis people to confront trans folks in a govt owned/leased bathroom/changing room and force them to leave, otherwise they are subject to a fine and/or jail

This is effectively a bounty bill. Examples of bathrooms where this bill will apply include schools, airports, stadiums, courthouses, etc. It isn't every public bathroom, but it is a lot.

People who are gender nonconforming or are being stalked/harassed by cis folks who know their trans status are most at risk here.

It is up to you how much you want to weigh your self-expression against your physical safety.

As a minor, you don't have a lot of rights, so I advise you choose your battles carefully and always have trusted adults to have your back. Being FTGenderfluid, a lot of how you dress might fly under the radar, but I'd avoid being too heavily masc for now.

Keeping safe & sane

Unfortunately, a lot of support you'd normally find at school is going to be unavailable from now on. But some ways to lessen your stress:

Get a job (if you are old enough). I know, I know, but money makes a lot of life easier, from buying little treats now to stockpiling for things you may want once you turn 18.

Be honest with the reality that you might have to be in the closet a lot, and brainstorm safe outlets for your gender expression. I know at your age, I dressed how I wanted at home and used roleplaying games to explore and express my gender.

Hang out with queer youth, especially in person. You might have a local organization that has events and support groups. It helps a lot to share your feelings with other kids going through the same.

Start following trans political commentators. Erin is a good follow on Substack - she makes it easy to understand all the legal stuff going on.

Consume happy queer stories, by queer authors. It will help counter all the doom scolling. I've been watching Dead End: Paranormal Park (it is a comic and a show), which features a trans masc protagonist.

Cultivate your relationship with your mom. Gently, but firmly set boundaries with her if she gives you guff for, I dunno, wearing boys jeans or whatever. But also be aware she probably has a lot of misinformation about trans people, so you will need to gently pick that apart and see how you can educate her. Trusted adults she also trusts can also help you here.

Build your network. The friends your age you make today could be roommates or coworkers tomorrow. Be social, it will also be good for your mental health.

Be kind to yourself. Things look bleak, but there are states in the US that are actually strengthening trans rights. There continue to be options, you just might need to spend time and resources achieving them.

I hope that helps, and a big hug from a trans adult who grew up in the closet. <3

[middleagedenragedmama]

Repealing the Affordable Care Act (ObamaCare) - What Does It Mean for Me?

Trump has made it clear that one of his first acts as president will be repealing Obamacare or the Affordable Care Act (ACA).  He has also made it very clear that he does not have a plan to replace the ACA.  Most people understand that the ACA allows individuals and families to purchase Marketplace health insurance coverage.  Marketplace health insurance is the best option for many self-employed individuals, as the US mostly depends on employer provided health insurance plans that are cost prohibitive to small businesses.

With the announcement that Trump won the election, I was reminded that many of you did not live through or were not aware of what healthcare was like prior to the ACA (enacted in 2010).  I wanted to get on my soapbox a bit to explain what the ACA did to help individuals and what the repercussions of losing these protections could mean.

Pre-existing conditions – Prior to the ACA, health insurance companies could deny coverage or charge more for anyone with a pre-existing condition.  If you experienced a lapse in coverage for any reason (even a single day!), health insurance companies could deny coverage for any pre-existing health condition as well as any complication that arose from that condition.  Pre-existing conditions were not limited to severe health issues, it was any health condition that you were diagnosed with (ex: eczema, asthma, migraines, cancer, diabetes).

If you had high blood pressure and switched jobs, there is typically a 90-day probationary period before your new employer health plan kicks in.  During those 90 days, you would need to obtain COBRA insurance to ensure that your new employer plan would continue to cover your high blood pressure.  COBRA plans can easily cost between $600-$1800/month, so you could spend $1800-$5200 during those 3 months to prevent a lapse in coverage.  If you cannot afford to pay for COBRA, your insurance lapses and your new employer plan does not have to cover your high blood pressure.  If you end up with complications later down the road such as kidney failure or a heart attack and the insurance company decides that this is related to your high blood pressure, they don’t have to cover the cost of those complications either.

Lifetime Caps – prior to the ACA, each health insurance would list a lifetime cap on their policy.  This was generally somewhere between $1-2 million dollars.  This was the maximum amount of healthcare charges that they would insure you for, and once reached, you would become uninsurable for that healthcare plan. 

A $2 million dollar lifetime cap sounds big right?  The average person will not be eligible for medicare until they are 65, so that’s 65 years of healthcare costs that need to be under that cap.  We have 2 major health insurers (Anthem and United Healthcare) with some minor plans in play as well (Cigna, Aetna, Humana, and a few others).  Prior to the ACA, I have watched parents switch jobs from one job that provided Anthem insurance to another job that provided another type of insurance just to make sure they didn’t reach their lifetime cap.  These were individuals that didn’t want a new job, they had to find a new job and the next year, when their new employer changed their insurance plan to what the previous employer had, they had to find a new job again.  Each time, they had to pay for COBRA to ensure that their families didn’t have a lapse in coverage, otherwise their pre-existing conditions wouldn’t be covered.

Healthcare is expensive in this country.  If you have diabetes, cancer, a heart condition, or any chronic disease, you will have no problem reaching a $2 million lifetime cap in a few years. 

Once a lifetime cap is reached, that insurance will not provide you with any insurance coverage.  You are uninsurable by that company.  If you reach that cap at age 30, you have 35 years until you get Medicare, and that’s 35 years of scrounging around for other jobs that don’t have that type of insurance.

There were annual limits as well, and the same applied.  In this case, once you reached the annual limit, they just wouldn’t pay any more healthcare charges, and you were liable for 100% of the costs after that limit was reached.

Disability - If you are deemed disabled by the Social Security Administration, it takes an additional 2 years before you are eligible for Medicare.  In the interim, if you can no longer purchase a Marketplace plan, your only option is a state-funded Medicaid plan.  In order to qualify for Medicaid, there are income limits.  Remember you just got approved for disability and depending on your previous work experience, the average disability check is for $1542/monthly, but could range up to $3822/month.  Do you have a little bit of a savings?  To qualify for most state Medicaid plans when you are disabled, your income needs to be <$1255/month and you can have a maximum of $2000 in assets (savings, stocks/bonds).  The average disability payment makes you ineligible for Medicaid, and if the ACA is repealed, you will not have an option for health insurance unless your spouse carries you on their employer provided insurance.   

Preventative Services – the ACA requires plans to provide preventative healthcare services at little to no cost.  This includes well baby checks, vaccines, annual physicals, annual gynecological exams, annual lab work, mammograms, and colonoscopies.  Before the ACA, we paid for these services, and many people just didn’t seek preventative care because they could not afford the cost, even when insurance covered a portion of the charges.

Emergency Care – the ACA requires emergency room care to be considered in-network.  Prior to the ACA, if you were out of state and experienced an emergency that required an emergency room visit, you were charged out-of-network charges.  Many plans wouldn’t cover out-of-network providers, so you were liable for the entire cost of the ER visit.  A rough estimate for the average ER visit is around $2600 but could be significantly higher depending on the reason for the visit.

Protections from Cancellation – the ACA made it illegal for your insurance to cancel you for costing them to much money.  Before the ACA, similar to homeowners or car insurance, if you had too many claims, they just cancelled your coverage.

Birth Control and Contraceptives – prior to the ACA, birth control pills, IUDs, and other contraceptives were generally excluded from coverage and you had to pay for these out of your pocket.

The ACA did much more than just offer Marketplace plans for individuals to purchase.  It’s easy to take these protections for granted now that we are almost 15 years out from when they were enacted, but do not doubt that healthcare in the US is a business.  Every day, insurance plans deny coverage for treatments because it’s too expensive, and doctors are continually frustrated by the red tape required by insurance to get patients what they need.  Insurance plans will not hesitate to go back to the way healthcare was prior to the ACA, as it’s more profitable for them to do so.  They do not care that patients will suffer, that people will die, and people will be financially crippled in the process.   

[iron-shears]

Ignota's Top Surgery Fund Commissions!

Hello! I am Ignota. I am a 25-year-old non-binary artist, known mostly for my pixel animations, my comics, the Godot games/interactives I've made/am making for the SCP Wiki, and TikTok videos. I recently FINALLY got my insurance to cover top surgery(I live in California, but my insurance is out of Florida)

I just found out my insurance kinda lied about my doctor being in-network. My insurance agreed to cover the top surgery itself but does not cover the surgical center I need to get it done at. I've been quoted at $2140, not including additional medical workup, prescriptions, travel, and temporary living expenses.

I am trying to reach out to my insurance to see if it'll be covered, but I am about to age out of my current insurance and I am not in a position to afford new insurance. There is still a chance I can convince my insurance to cover it, but this is time-sensitive and I want to have the ABILITY to do it regardless. So, I am doing commissions now.

PRICING

Pixel animation $50-$400

$50(Art similar to the first image): Maximum of 12 frames. One character. Very limited movement. Canvas size under 135x135

$80(Art similar to the second image) Maximum of 24 frames at any framerate(Typically 4fps for 6 seconds or 8fps for 3 seconds), Simple Movement, 1-2 characters, maximum canvas size of 135x135. Price can be adjusted to accommodate more detail

$200(Art similar to the third image) a couple characters, a detailed environment, and a moving scene. Maximum canvas of 256x240. The scene can be converted to a simple one-room HTML5 format that can play in-browser.

$400+(Art similar to the fourth Image) A complex environment, multiple characters/moving parts, and the ability for a scrolling background.

Illustrations $50-$250

$50(Art similar to the first image): A simple close-up shot in any style.

$100(Art similar to the second image) A simple scene or full body with no background.

$250+(Art similar to the third and fourth images) A complex environment. Alternatively, a detailed comic page.

All features are negotiable and individual requests might change the price. If there's something from one tier you want but don't want all the other stuff, chances I may be able to work something out that will fit your needs. These descriptions are suggestions to make it a little easier, not solid outlines of what they need to look like. Feel free to bring other ideas to the table. I have worked on background illustrations and pixel animations for indie devs making games, Dungeons and Dragons character sheets, individual character pieces, and many other things in the past.

Contact me through my Email(IronShearsArt@gmail.com) or my Discord(ironshears)! Alternatively, I do have a Ko-Fi if you want to support my art.

Alex Thorley's Blind Date(The Dating Sim) by me under CC-BY-SA

Kuobach's Eyes(Orange Comic) by me under CC-BY-SA

Nacre Series by me under CC-BY-SA

The other pixel game in question is tentatively titled Brand New Colors and has not been completed yet, but you can find more of it on my blog. It will also be under CC-BY-SA

[wenevergotusedtoegypt]

Well. I'm back on the job market as of 1 week before what was supposed to be my first day.

This whole experience has just been so freaking weird from start to finish. At first it felt like complete and total hashgacha pratis. I wasn't even seriously looking for anything because it was during the time 5yo didn't have a para yet and I couldn't so much as commit to an interview. And the job title wasn't even something I would normally have clicked on. But I clicked on it solely due the organization it was for and discovered that the job title seemed to have been poorly chosen because the actual work was mostly in my actual area of expertise. And then I applied and they offered me an interview a week from the date of offer. I had absolutely no idea if I could actually commit to that interview because I had no idea when 5yo would have a para, but I did anyway, and his para ended up starting the day before the interview. Besides the job title, the other reason I wouldn't normally have applied for the job was that it wasn't full time, but extremely uncharacteristically, I somehow missed that fact and found out during the interview (mortifying but apparently other applicants were significantly worse all around). And then it was just like, this is so clearly HP, maybe it does make sense to start mornings later (and not need to find a morning sitter, which has proved near-impossible in the past) and have Friday off, technically we can afford this even though the salary cut would be a blow to my ego and it would've been nice to have more money. Fine. I'm doing it.

That was 2.5 months ago. I only had the one interview because it was a very small organization but the whole hiring process was super schlepped out. Over time I started realizing that the two people I'd be working under were regularly not on the same page as each other to an egregious extent. Person A told me that Pesach is the slowest time of year, to the point where I probably wouldn't need to take any formal time off to prep. Person B then told me that actually, most years, that's the busiest time of year. I also was told about 4 different versions of what the position entailed, ranging from it being primarily my area of expertise, to a 50/50 split between my expertise and admin, to 100% admin for the first few months and then transitioning to my expertise, to admin-dominant for at least the next few years.

I really probably should have pulled out sooner - they also didn't offer health insurance and were paying me less than I was worth even considering the reduction of hours - but again, so much of it felt like such obvious hashgacha pratis, I was frustrated but didn't really seriously reconsider accepting despite the downsides and the fact that clearly these people were a bit of a mess.

But the turning point was when I received the contract and realized I'd forgotten to discuss PTO. They were only offering me half the vacation days I had at my old job, a number lower than I'd almost ever seen in other job ads recently, and had a stipulation that no vacation could be used until after 6 months, which I have never seen in my field in 2024. I politely wrote back requesting more vacation days and explaining why I was making this request (to partially balance out the blow that was the reduction in pay from what I'd expected to make and lack of health insurance, which was 80% covered at my old job). I also asked to have the 6-month requirement waived.

Person A wrote back almost immediately saying yes, of course, no problem! We'll send a new contract. But then 3 days later I got what came across as a fairly stern email explaining that actually they could not give me additional PTO, though we could revisit that in a year, and that in fact, they were being extremely generous considering the total number of days off I had per year, which they enumerated.....and apparently, the Fridays that I was not going to be paid to work, which were already accounted for and then some by the lower salary, and which could not be used at will or in a row by definition, were supposed to balance out the lower PTO?? It was really ridiculous logic, but I was still kind of in this zen "this is all so clearly hashgacha pratis" zone, so I wrote back that I could accept the lower number of vacation days for now. They had also said we could have a Zoom meeting to make sure we were all on the same page, which seemed unnecessary to me at that point and I said so, but told them if there was something they felt still needed to be discussed I had availability at X times.

I expected this meeting to be just them reiterating that they can't give me more vacation days but we can revisit it in a year, and me being like yes ok.

That was not what it was.

It was a confrontation, in which they both backed me into the proverbial corner and declared that they were "taken aback" by the "tone" of the email in which I had tried to negotiate more vacation time.

Now. In the past, I have gotten professional feedback that I need to be more flowery with my emails because people who don't know me as well can take my matter-of-fact style as blunt/rude, even when there's nothing objectively rude about what I wrote and people who do know me wouldn't read it that way at all. But. BUT. I wrote and rewrote and edited and reedited the crap out of that email to make it nice. It was literally. just. a normal benefits negotiation email that a normal new hire should be considered perfectly justified in sending. And I graciously accepted their denial. But there I was, being forced to defend a very normal request? Asked in a very normal way?

And it was like they were taking personal offense to the fact that we had gotten to this stage and I wasn't satisfied enough with what was on the table. Person B especially. She zoomed in on specific phrases and demanded that I explain them, like why I'd said I could move forward "for now" with the number of vacation days. Because. You guys. Literally told me we will revisit the issue in a year??? And I was just acknowledging that reality??? Person B asked if I would be satisfied if nothing changed in a year, declaring that there was no way that I would get more vacation days at that point, because Person A is [fancy title] and has been there for 3 years and also only has that many days. Which. One, I notice that she didn't mention that she herself, also with a fancy title, and who has been there significantly longer, only has that many days. HUH. Two, why the f would you (you being Person A though) offer to revisit it in a year if there is no way it's going to change, and get mad at me for the crime of taking you seriously? And three, that sounds like a Person A problem? Because she is the [fancy title] and she could've negotiated more for herself upon hire and she didn't. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to try.

Anyway, the whole experience was deeply unpleasant, and so out of left field that all I could think to do in the moment was to try to make nice, avoid burning any bridges, and process what the heck just happened afterwards. At the end of the meeting, Person B said, "Ok, the two of us are going to talk and we'll get back to you." I was floored, because what was there even to get back to me about? They wanted me to explain and defend my attempt to negotiate in all its minutiae, I had done so, and it's not like the benefits themselves were up for discussion. I told her I was confused, what were they going to get back to me about, were they reconsidering the offer of employment? Person A jumped in all, "Oh no, of course not, I think we're all good! Everything is good!" but Person B did not elaborate or concur.

I like 75% expected they were going to revoke the offer, and kind of almost hoped that they would so that I wouldn't have to make my own decision about what to make of that absolute narishkeit. But not long afterwards I received an updated offer letter waiving the 6 month requirement and that was it.

At that point I decided that I would give them 2-3 months to see if they could exceed the now very, very low bar of my expectations, and if not, begin job searching in earnest again. But I was absolutely dreading my start date.

And then came yesterday, 1 week before my first day. Now, as background, I had been told that I would normally be expected to work in person twice a week, and only very occasionally 3 days when needed. I had asked them which 2 days I should expect to come in so that I could arrange a babysitter accordingly, and they had told me that I could choose according to my needs, and just let them know. I told them Tuesday and Wednesday. They said ok. They asked whether Monday or Thursday would be preferable for the occasional 3rd day, and I said Thursday. I hired a babysitter whose hours were calculated according to the assumption that I would be commuting on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

So I get this email yesterday morning. Informing me not to come into the office Tuesday and Wednesday next week, but rather only Thursday, with no acknowledgement whatsoever that this was counter to the arrangements we had discussed and no explanation as to why it couldn't be one of my regular days. I know why, though - it's because these 2 people work with each other to arrange which days they want to be in the office each week, and I realized then that I was never going to be part of that discussion, just expected to follow their whims, despite what we had discussed before. They were not seeing me as equally worthy of consideration.

Oh, and the other part. They also informed me that in my 2nd week of work, there was an event on Wednesday starting at 5pm that they expected me to work. This event would be at a location significantly further from where I live than the office is and they apparently didn't consider it relevant to tell me until what time I would be expected to stay just yet (so, like, thanks for the heads up but how am I supposed to make arrangements, exactly?). My husband does not get home til 8:30-9 on Wednesday nights and has no flexibility to leave early, and they theoretically knew this from previous discussions. They also knew that I have little kids. But for some reason, even though I'd had the basic job offer for about 2 months prior to the event, and even though this event had definitely been planned well in advance, they didn't feel a need to let me know that they'd require me to work a weekday evening event specifically on a day of the week that it would be incredibly difficult for me to work in the evening.

Now, in a normal freaking workplace, I would simply bring up these scheduling concerns. What a thought! But these people could not handle standard benefits negotiations because any hint that I wasn't fully satisfied with current arrangements was personally offensive. So. You know.

The entire advantage of accepting a less-than-full-time job was supposed to be that I would have to worry about childcare less. But it was at this point patently obvious that these people would think absolutely nothing of making my schedule completely unpredictable on a regular basis and also would not be remotely open to pushback about it. I couldn't just put my head down and give it 2-3 months and then look for something else because I would constantly be stressing out trying to sort childcare. Which should have been the one single solitary non-problem in this position!

So I let them know that it doesn't seem like this is going to be a good fit and I regretfully have to withdraw my acceptance - I am receiving too much conflicting information about, well, literally everything, and it seems like they need someone who is able to offer a level of flexibility in their schedule that I simply do not have at this stage in my life.

I'm sure they are royally pissed and telling themselves the fairytale that they tried so hard to accommodate me and make me happy and I totally misled them about being satisfied with their offer and then screwed them over at the last minute. That's not what happened - despite everything, I was gung-ho until that unbelievably disturbing meeting - but that's the narrative they'll be bouncing off each other to avoid admitting that they totally botched a good hire.

It's been 27 hours since my "resignation" email and they haven't bothered to reply. Really regretting missing out on a workplace that is such a paragon of professionalism! 🙄🙄🙄

[booklove22]

Last night, my 47 year old “otherwise healthy”brother died of Stage 4 colon cancer. He was diagnosed 6 months ago at age 46 and did not have a single symptom until 8 months ago. The tumor in his colon was the size of a softball and his liver was covered in several inoperable tumors that had spread from the first one.

The first line treatments did not work (which is quite common unfortunately- the chemo options for this type of cancer often aren’t effective) and his liver began to fail just a week into his 2nd line treatment (which was even more unlikely to work anyway). He leaves behind his wife and two teenage sons, his step-daughters, my devastated parents, and me and my other siblings.

The age for colonoscopy screening in the US starts at 45. Even if my then-symptomless brother had gotten a routine colonoscopy screening on his 45th birthday, he still would have been diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer. His oncologist estimated he’d probably had this cancer for the past 7 years or so. Its extremely slow growing and a “silent cancer” - meaning it typically doesn’t present symptoms until its Stage 4 and considered “incurable”. Most people diagnosed at Stage 4 die with a couple of years of diagnosis. My brother got 6 months.

This cancer used to be uncommon in people under 60. However people are now being diagnosed in their 20-40’s because of factors primarily related to the problems inherent in the food we eat (processed, pesticides, and microplastic contaminated).

The point is, getting a routine colonoscopy at 45 would not have saved him.

I’m taking every opportunity I have to beg people to start getting colonoscopy screenings much earlier than 45. Here is what you need to know (FYI this is United States specific):

1) If you are 45, insurance will cover routine colonoscopy screenings (which generally occur every 5-7 years). Screenings last about 30 min and occur under some level of anesthesia (from “awake-but-loopy” to “fully unconscious” if you prefer that). You can opt to do it without anesthesia too, if anesthesia makes you nervous.

2) If you are under 45 with no symptoms, you can still request one. If you have the money to do so, you can pay out of pocket (you should be able to get an estimate beforehand).

3) If you are under 45 and have any symptoms (for example: GI pain, blood in your stool, recurring diarrhea, etc.), you can request one and it will be covered by insurance. I’m not encouraging lying about having symptoms to get insurance coverage. 👀

4) Likewise, if you have a family history of colon cancer (particularly a 1st degree relative), age is irrelevant and insurance will cover it. I’m not encouraging lying about having a family history to get insurance coverage. 👀

5) Some people are afraid or embarrassed to get a colonoscopy (they stick a camera up where?? 🍑 ) but please I can tell you that all it really amounts to is a really good 30 min anesthesia nap, some residual gas, and a day off from work. Compare that to watching my brother slowly and painfully die these past 6 months.

6) Also important: getting regular colonoscopies actually prevents you from ever getting colon cancer. Colon cancer always begins as a non-cancerous growth called a polyp. Those polyps sometimes stay non-cancerous but sometimes they evolve into cancer. Any polyps found during a colonoscopy are automatically removed by the doctor during the colonoscopy, thereby preventing you from ever getting colon cancer at all. This differs from say, a mammogram, which doesn’t prevent you from getting breast cancer, but does provide an avenue for catching it earlier if you do develop it.

7) Colon cancer is one of the most common cancers in both men and women (Top 3 most common) and one of the most deadly.

This has been my PSA for the day.

There are so many cancers that we are simply at the whim of, this doesn’t have to be one of them. And don’t let garbage age minimums for screening get in the way.

[wanderersrest]

Some Idle Musings on Patlabor

I've talked about Patlabor twice in some capacity, so I figured why not go for the hat trick, no? (EDIT: The hat trick was ruined because I got tilted by a certain bad take involving Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans)

Patlabor is probably one of my favorite anime series of all time, especially when it comes to mecha anime. Granted, a big part of that is due to me recently coming into ownership of pretty much the entire series on blu-ray, but still. And seeing as how the second post on here was about how people should check it out (among other mecha shows), I figured I'd dive a little bit deeper into at least Patlabor. Who knows, I might touch on all of the other series at some point. I'll definitely cover G Gundam at some point, that much is assured.

Anyways. Patlabor. This isn't going to be a super deep dive, but there are three things I want to highlight with this series that I really like.

The World is Carefully Crafted to Justify Its Giant Robots

A common point of praise for Patlabor is due to how the worldbuilding is set up to accommodate the giant robots. A quick synopsis of Patlabor: giant robots known as Labors were created to help with construction projects. Following the creation of Labors came Labor-related created crimes. To combat these crimes, a special type of Labor was created to stop these types of criminal activity: the Patrol Labor, or Patlabor for short.

And it's not just there that the series fleshes out the Labors. The titular Patlabors (specifically the Model 98-AV Ingrams employed by the main characters) require a whole team outside of the pilots who operate the Labors, including spotters, transport platform operators, and mechanics. The television series also makes it a point of highlighting that the important part of the Labor is not the Labor itself, but the pilot data stored in the machine's computer. The world is so thought out, that the television series even touches on Labor insurance (yes really, and it's probably one of my favorite episodes of the TV series, maybe out of every anime series I've ever watched). This is, if I understand things correctly, why a lot of people love the OVA timeline (which consists of the Early Days OVA as well as the movies).

Great Characters Part 1: Noa Izumi

If the OVA timeline has more of a focus on the worldbuilding and the politics at hand, then the TV timeline (consisting of the TV anime and the New Files OVA) hones in on the character interactions. It's a real shame too, because the main cast are a pretty likeable group. Our main character in particular, Ingram Unit 1 Pilot Noa Izumi, is a delight to watch in pretty much every scene she's in, especially in the TV series. To it's credit, the OVA timeline does keep a lot of the appeal behind the characters. If anything, I'd argue that the change in tone of the OVA timeline is both natural and an extension of the pessimism following the bursting of the Japanese Economic Bubble.

But back to Noa, part of what I like about her as a character is her resilience. There are moments throughout the various entries in the franchise where she gets knocked down, but due to the nature of her work, she gets back up to finish the job. That kind of attitude helps to round out her more usual cheery and kind of naive attitude to most things. Also, she's very hot-blooded. Which is great for any mecha series, regardless of the style of mecha show you're watching. Speaking of hot blood, I think I'd be remiss to not mention my other favorite character in the series (that's not Division 2 chief Kichii Gotoh, because that's cheating)...

Great Characters 2: Isao Ota

I think the YouTuber Argonbolt described Ingram Unit 2 pilot Isao Ota best: "...he's 50% gun nut, 50% [ego]." It's almost impossible for me to talk about how great Noa is as a character without bringing up Ota. I could just say that he works great as a foil to Noa, but I think I'd be selling our red-blooded gun nut short. Part of what makes Ota such a great character to me is the fact that, whereas a lot of Noa's growth pertains to her as a person, Ota's growth is essentially tied to how he handles his Labor.

This is because Ota is a hothead.

No, seriously. Ota's hotheadedness is a large part of what makes him such a great character, and that's just going off of the sheer entertainment value of it all. It also helps that Ota being an American-styled cowboy cop (even moreso than the American Kanuka Clancy, and she's already a bit of a cowboy cop) oftentimes has consequences. Heck, a lot of Division 2's notoriety stems largely from Ota's hotheadedness. But Ota's hotheadedness often hides aspects that betray the manly image he's crafted throughout the series. It's little things like how he frets over Noa like an older brother when she runs off on her own to chase down a bank robber, or the change in his demeanor when Kanuka and her replacement, Takeo Kumagami, start getting into an argument with each other. This depth of character is better explored in the episodes that focus squarely on Ota, with my favorite of the bunch being the aforementioned insurance episode (TV Anime Epsiode 37, "I'm Selling Peace of Mind/Safety on Sales"). Without getting into spoilers, part of what makes it great is how the episode highlights how hard it is to avoid a lot of property damage when it comes to piloting giant robots. But I'm now rambling a bit too much, so let me jump ahead to the last bit about what I like about Patlabor.

This Series Loves Giant Robots

More than anything else, Patlabor loves its giant robots. My first time learning about this series was seeing some random user on Reddit go "See, unlike Gundam, Patlabor is cool." And if there are two things that make me, as an ardent fan of mecha anime, really upset, it's one of at least three things:

Bashing series X in order to prop up series Y (Bonus points if its Gundam)

Saying X is unlike other mecha shows because X focuses on the characters (No 86/Evangelion/Code Geass/Gurren Lagann fans, 86/Eva/CG/TTGL is not special, especially when Fang of the Sun Dougram/Space Runaway Ideon/Mobile Suit Gundam/Getter Robo exist.)

Denigrating a series because it's not super realistic (Basically the whole "Real vs Super" debate. I'll touch on it when I talk about G Gundam.)

But after watching Patlabor on my own, I realized that this series really loves its giant robots. It's often shown through both the worldbuilding, which is really just an excuse to justify having giant robots in the setting to begin with, and also the fact that it's main character is, for all intents and purposes, a mecha otaku.

Final Thoughts

Off the top of my head, I don't really have much else to say about Patlabor for now. Granted, there were a lot of things I didn't get to talk about in depth like how the computer systems the Labors employ are, in my opinion, a great example of a seemingly realistic take on AI (not the generative kind, just AI in general), or how one of my favorite character interactions in the series is the pseudo parent-child bond between Chief Engineer Sakaki and Noa and how their relationship reminds me of my relationship with my dad. Most importantly, while I do have an overall preference of the TV timeline over the OVA timeline, I don't think it's necessarily better. The two timelines have their own strengths, but both timelines benefit from the other existing. It also doesn't cut down on the fact that there are still people out there who enjoy Patlabor, and that's really all that matters.

Anyways, I'm going to go crawl back into a hole and wait for any morsel of news involving Patlabor EZY.

[wetcatspellcaster]

After the last chapter of An Honest Lie I had to go lie down. I mean, it went much better and more constructive than the last time Astarion brought up Ascending, but somehow it felt even more painful. I'm still thinking about that one post that reminded that when romanced it is much harder to persuade Astarion not to Ascend (I wouldn't know, all three saves I've completed I only romanced him tbh). Like he sees how high are the stakes, and how hard they all have to work to get shit done, and he wants the safest pass in his mind, but like... Ugh. The whole Ascending is fascinating from the character development point of view.

I loved the planning part. It's so realistic, and damn I wish there was an option letting teammates prioritise the missions, because there are SO MUCH TASKS. Like beside urgency with Astarion there is barely any, and I'm always so lost and keep forgetting what to do next.

Also, fuck Gortash. Let him suffer more. Nasty man, nasty.

I was wincing the whole time Rosalie had been walking and doing stuff, and I'm imagining it will be even more painful once they get into the Cazador's place, because damn. Girl needs her recovery, but it seems her insurance doesn't not cover it.

Anyway, thank you so so much for this chapter! It was awesome, and I will patiently wait for the update. Take care, and good luck!

oh anon. I mean, if that last chapter was rough then good luck for tonight's update :)))))))

but thank you so much for sending this! I'm glad you enjoyed the latest chapter!! I think that Ascension has this tasty extra spice in the dynamic I've chosen, bc Astarion does see his relationship with Rosalie working, mostly because she can take care of herself. He doesn't have to learn to be relied on (the way he does, in, say, the durge version of his relationship where he does kind of take the wheel a bit more!) She's protecting him, if anything - in the beginning, obviously, when everyone is masking their tits off. So I think the realisation of 'oh. this truly is all fake.' and then 'oh. and i see now what it's costing you, and i care enough about you to not be ok with that' would in fact both 1. show how much he's changed ('i'm not going to let the person i love take the easy option for my sake') and 2. cause panic. Bc it's realising that this commitment will be a commitment not just to a person, but to the potential for more hurt or hardship, as Rose doesn't have everything on lock like it first appeared :'))))

anyway, more of this to come!! your wait for the next chapter is almost over xx