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This is Kate Beirness's charity which puts on a one day event for empowering young women.
In March, they announced a Toronto summit in 2024, then in April said they would announce a date the following week, then nothing. It's now September.
They are a federally registered charity, so their info is easily available to the public.
Here's the money they're working with - they had a $100,000 grant from another charity. And $88,791 in donations from various individual donors:
Here's what they spent it on:
They gave $25,000 in scholarships. Spent $73,906 on various unnamed expenditures. Spent $31,495 on advertising-- more than the amount of scholarships.
Office expenses were only $186.
Travel expenses were $53,539. The work of the charity was a one day summit event with about 200-250 girls from around Canada. But there were also Her Mark related trips by Kate Beirness and Tessa Virtue to New York City, a retreat for Kate Beirness, Tessa Virtue and other board or committee members to Napa Valley for wine tastings and a meal at the French Laundry. You'd like to think the expenses for actual charitable work was the larger part of their activity, but look:
Total expenditures on fundraising were nearly equal to the $100,000 grant they were given. Managing and administration expenses were a tiny fraction, just over 1% of the budget. Money spent on their actual charity work, less than half
Maybe their big funder declined to give them money to spend on fundraising and that's why there have been no further announcements?
#her mark#kate beirness#tessa virtue#money down the drain#that was supposed to help girls#1% for admin costs#means not that much work is being done?
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Are they admitting that there are only three people left in alpine or what
#three people being bruno famin pierre and their social media admin#maybe four with briatore#that team is fucked no one can save them#tho in the end we know who won the french civil war#BUT AT WHAT COST#alpine#f1#pierre gasly#esteban ocon#flavio briatore#bruno famin#formula 1
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If you love Disney, its parks, its media, and its merch, listen up.
So I work for Disneyland, and we are talking about striking very soon. So soon, in fact, that we've been hosting rallies just outside of the parks. Yesterday was the 69th birthday of Disneyland Anaheim... it was also a monumental rally.
I haven't seen anyone on tumblr talking about the impending strikes against Disney. Not even going through the Disney tags or searching tumblr for "Disneyland Strike."
Let's talk about why we're striking:
Cost of living in the immediate SoCal region is nearly 2x as much as we are getting paid.
Cast members that have worked for the company for long periods of time are still paid as mucha s new hires.
Disney has showed up to union negotiations with insulting offers, including at 25 cent raise. Most cast members make $19.90
Disney rarely schedules you. In some areas and departments, you are fighting with your fellow cast members for hours. I have heard of cast members who are only scheduled for 1 4-hour shift per week. Many of those cast members have upwards of an hour commute to and from work.
Disney Admin has told attractions castmembers [so: rides, rollercoasters, and anything fun you get to do and see at the parks] that we are losing them money, which is why they refuse to schedule us and pay us. In the words of my partner, who also works at the parks, Disney without attractions is an over glorified mall and a food court. Disney needs us, and they know it, but they do not respect us.
Disney has an unfair attendance policy. It can be very difficult to get a needed day off, even when it has been requested weeks or months in advance. When you do take a day off [with-out accrued sick or vacation time] it counts against you. You can have 3 a month, 6 in 90 days, 9 in 180 days, or 12 in a year. How do you accrue sick/vacation? Hours worked, which can be impossible with the scheduling practices mentioned above. (Most cast members trade shifts among themselves to get around this.)
Cast members feel unsafe and unsupported in the parks. Many cast members have felt threatened by entitled guests upset that they are following policy. Disney Leads and Managers have to say yes to these guests and make things happen, though. [Which only makes this behavior worse and more dangerous for cast members who are only doing their job.]
Cast members also report feeling threatened, or even being literally threatened, by management in the parks. Especially cast members who have a second job. Especially cast members who know their rights.
Further, cast members work in hazardous conditions with pay that does not reflect that. Many cast members report losses of hearing, sore throats, and severe back and shoulder pain. Cast members are also exposed to infectious diseases at a much higher rate.
https://www.sfgate.com/disneyland/article/union-button-contract-dispute-19515296.php?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR2u5o_mvU3i6jpIyHxBUZpEzD2GRSKFf5Pem4uRXqa6vKWDgZuffvINd1g_aem_AA1L0fI1phugJIluYMcDSw
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team furries twoooo. And scalies. And whatever birds are.
please share and donate to this family of four, the youngest being only 2 1/2 years old. They need funds to safely cross to Egypt. If you donate something, send me a message with proof and I’ll draw you something nice as a thank you :)
Species and concept art under cut!
Sniper: so for some reason I was under the impression that Crocs were native to new zealand. They are not. Uh. Well. yup. 👍 it fits his personality. snappy n dangerous but real easy to get around if you just zig-zag. Why the long fa
Spy: Grey Fox. I was gonna go with a wolf because of his fursona but fox fits better wahhhh. Also means that scout is half fox! I’ll show that in more detail one day. Probably.
Medic: just like his Doves! The tail coat is actual his real tail. Featherrrrrs. Why are his nasty claws out? I don’t know he’s kinda weird like that.
Demo: TIGER!!!!! He’s always kinda reminded me of Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes :) why did I draw him so cute. Somebody stop me before I draw them all adorable ough.
Engineer: the bulllllerrrrrrrrr. Sorry. He’s a bull, with a nose ring. Epic. Hooves for hands, gunslinger would look like a hoof too, gotta design that later.
Heavy: big badass brown bear. Love him. Instead of bullet he has honey sticks. It costs four hundred thousand dollars to harvest honey… for 12 seconds.
Pyro: fucking dragon. hell yeah. In pyroland they see themselves as a unicorn. Baller.
Scout: Bunny scout truther over here. You can thank @/teamfurtress for that. Please check them out, commissions are open! In my version he’s a hare but that is significantly less fun to say lol. Jackrabbit kinda guy.
Soldier: regular ole dog. ouppy to da max. He’s the most dog of the alol time and I’m tired of pretending he’s not. THE STRAPS ON HIS HELEMT ARE HIS EARS. HIS BIG TEETH AND OPEN MOUTHED SMILE. THE WAY HE MOVES. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!???!??????! That’s a grown man with dick n balls what am I doing
Some designs for the side characters that I couldn’t be arsed to finish. Saxton is kangaroo because of corse he is. Admin is a bat because she never leaves her room, Pauling is mouse because is cute, Zhanna is bear like big brother, Merasmus is praying mantis, and Gray Mann + Olivia Mann are vultures! She’s so fluffy oh my god
Concept time. I fell in love with wrinkly floppy dog sniper. Adorable. Unfortunately I already had a dog so he had to go </3 kangaroo sniper was also axed. rip girl. Lots of diff designs for admin! Curtesy of @stangeranfanficion (thank u for the ideass) eagle soldier because it’s funny. Also zebra Pauling! I really like this one. If I make a horse au she’s going to be a zebra.
#tf2#tf2 fanart#furry#furry art#tf2 medic#tf2 scout#tf2 spy#tf2 soldier#tf2 sniper#tf2 pyro#tf2 demoman#tf2 engineer#tf2 heavy#tf2 whole team#furrification#lol#tf2 saxton hale#tf2 administrator#miss pauling#zhanna tf2#merasmus#gray mann#olivia mann#ruths doodles#Holy crap that’s a lot of tags
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Things the Biden-Harris Administration Did This Week #36
September 27-October 4 2024
President Biden and Vice-President Harris have lead the federal response to Hurricane Helene. President Biden's leadership earned praise from the Republican Governors of South Carolina, Virginia, Tennessee, and Georgia, as well as the Democratic Governor of North Carolina and local leaders. Thousands of federal workers are on the ground in effected communities having given out to date over 8 million meals, over 7 million letters of water. Both President Biden and Vice-President Harris have been on the ground in resent days meeting with effected families. During her trip to Georgia Vice-President Harris announced that the federal government will reimburse state and local government 100% of the costs from Hurricane Helene.
A strike by the International Longshoremen’s Association that briefly shut down ports on the East Cost and Gulf ended in a tentative deal. Both sides thanked Acting Secretary of Labor Julie Su and Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg for helping push the deal through. President Biden and Vice-President Harris had expressed solidarity with the works when the strike was announced and President Biden directed Secretary Buttigieg to take the lead in pressuring management to make a deal with the Longshoremen. The ILA got a 62% raise as part of the agreement.
Vice President Harris announced new actions to help those struggling with medical debt. This actions include new standards from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau on debt collection. the CFPB plans on requiring debt collectors to confirm debts are valid and accurate before engaging in collection actions. As well as cracking down on debt collectors that collect on debt that is not owed by patients. Other actions included an announcement by the DoD that it was reducing pricing for civilians who get medical treatment at DoD hospitals and a track down on tax-exempt hospitals who are required by law to offer financial assistance but often do not. These steps come after Vice President Harris in June announced plans to remove medical debt from credit scores. Following the Vice President's call to action North Carolina moved forward a plan to eliminate medical debt for 2 million people in the state. President Biden's American Rescue Plan funds have been used by state and local Democrats to eliminate $7 billion dollars in medical debt.
The Department of Transportation announced $62 Billion in infrastructure funding for 2025. Thanks to the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law passed by President Biden this will be $18 billion dollars more than was spent in 2021. The Biden-Harris Admin has helped support over 60,000 infrastructure projects across all 50 states, rebuilding roads and bridges, breaking ground on America's first high speed rail, updating ports and airports, and breaking high speed internet to rural communities.
The Department of Transportation announced $1 Billion dollars of investment in America's passenger rail future. This comes on top of $8.2 billion in investments announced in December 2023. The funds will help expand and modernize intercity passenger rail nationwide.
The Departments of Energy and Agriculture announced a $2.8 billion joint project to bring 100% carbon pollution-free energy to the rural midwest. The DoE is investing $1.5 billion into helping bring the Palisades Nuclear Plant in Michigan back on-line. Shut down in 2022 plans to refit and reopen it to allow the plant to keep generating clean energy till 2051. Once back online the Palisades Nuclear Plant will help stop an anticipated 4.47 million metric tons of greenhouse gas emissions a year, or 111 million metric tons of greenhouse gas emissions over its lifetime. The USDA is investing $1.3 billion in two rural electric cooperatives, Wolverine Power Cooperative and Hoosier Energy, which cover rural communities in Michigan, Illinois, and Indiana. This investment will help Wolverine and Hoosier connect to the Palisades Plant, reduce prices for customers, and reduce climate pollution, putting Wolverine Power on the path to be 100 percent carbon-free energy before 2030.
The Treasury and the IRS announced that 30 million Americans, across 24 states will qualify for free direct filing of their taxes in 2025. The IRS says that the average American spends $270 dollars and 13 hours filing their taxes. Thanks to the Inflation Reduction Act, passed by President Biden with Vice President Harris' tie breaking vote, Americans will be able to file their taxes quickly and for free directly with the IRS. Tax payers in Alaska, Arizona, California, Connecticut, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Washington, Wisconsin, and Wyoming will in 2025 be able to use direct file.
The USDA announced $7.7 billion in funding for Climate-Smart Practices on Agricultural Lands. This represents the single biggest investment in these programs in USDA history. Since implementation began in 2023 this conservation assistance has helped over 28,500 farmers and ranchers apply conservation to 361 million acres of land.
The Department of Energy announced $1.5 billion in investments in transmission infrastructure to help ensure our grid is reliable and resilient. This will help support nearly 1,000 miles of new transmission lines across Louisiana, Maine, Mississippi, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Texas. These lines will bring 7,100 MW of new capacity and create 9,000 good paying union jobs. Studies find to keep up with growth and meet our climate goals of carbon free energy the US will need to triple the 2020 transmission capacity by 2050. This is an important step to meeting that goal.
#Thanks Biden#Joe Biden#kamala harris#Politics#US politics#American Politics#climate change#climate action#carolina hurricanes#unions#longshoremen#rail#taxes
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𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝔾𝕠𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝔼𝕩𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕖
Oscar Piastri x Horner!Reader When Y/n isn't there for two races, Oscar discovers that he's far more attached than he thought he was. At least it's almost the mid-year break!
Warnings: my usuals :P
⋆Ember's Notes⋆ This is gonna be the last ABIN chapter until the end of the summer break. I would like to post thing in the interim but there's a few thing happening IRL (like me turning 20 next week !!!!) that might get in the way of that but we'll see. Enjoy <3
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After Silverstone
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yn.horner Mon-Thurs after #SilverstoneGP: Me and Liv, Monty loses at chess, made a cake with my goddaughter, misshoney.lemon being the bestest girl, and finally the boyfie <3 (not pictured is Bluebell, she's doing hot girl shit at Uni)
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oscarpiastri It's race week, but more importantly, it's missing my girlfriend hours
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user5425 We got Oscar Piastri publicly simping for his girlfriend before GTA6
user4282 Is your girlfriend single? Asking for a friend 👀��
patooward where is the coffee machine from, and how much is it? -> oscarpiastri "Tell him, the coffee machine is a Breville and it cost just over a grand." here ya go -> patooward a thousand for a coffee machine??? better be worth it smh -> oscarpiastri It is so worth it trust me 🤤
user4587 Can't believe we have Pato and Oscar being friends in the year of our Lord 2024 -> user2149 honestlyyyyy I want more of this duo
aussiegrit Is she feeling any better? -> oscarpiastri Not heaps, but she says better than she was a few days ago
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redbullracing P2 and P4 as we end the first half of the season and head into the 3 week summer break 💪💪 what a performance!
#BelgianGP #redbullracing oscarpiastri maxverstappen1
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user2495 🫶🫶
user6409 Break only just begun and I already want it to end 🫠 -> redbullracing Ditto!
maxverstappen1 👍
oscarpiastri 👍
user5230 even Max and Oscar are ready for Y/n to be Admin again LMAOOOO
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caption: finally 💓
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TAGLIST (closed):
@barnestatic @fionaschicken @fanficweasley @sltwins @storminacloud @halleest @formulaal @ems-alexandra @iloveyou3000morgan @christianpulisic10 @fangirl-dot-com @nikfigueiredo @yourbane @purplephantomwolf @eternalharry @cherry-piee @starssfall @33-81 @jpg3 @marie0v @d3kstar @applopie @aquangxl @eugene-emt-roe @woozarts @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @1-800-simpingcowbaby @marshmummy @landossainz @alwaysboredsworld @mellowarcadefun @dannyleclerc @lozzamez3 @spookystitchery @scarlettwidow3000 @moldyshorts1997 @hiireadstuff @bearyyyy @evie-119 @hwalllllllelujah @nixily @generalnav @hdigditditdjgd @kqliie @lokideservesahug @littlegrapejuice @halfdeadsage @zzzhealy @illicitverstappen
#formula 1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 fluff#formula one#formula 1#oscar piastri smau#ask and ember will (hopefully) answer!#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri#op81 fluff#op81 x reader#op81 fic#op81#oscar piastri fic#op81 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 fic#f1 instagram au#redbull!oscar piastri#red bull racing#red bull f1#red bull team#aussies belong in navy
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— what season of Gossip Girl is it, or how many events happened in two weeks after Brazil
(72, so far, which is roughly 5 per day)
I’m pretty sure I forgot something, but I tried my best to gather everything, so:
‘Supersonique’ documentary release aka fighter pilot Charles
Various media outlets declaring Max as “one of the greatest” after calling him a disaster on track
Jeremy Clarkson side quests: delivering the beer to the Alpine garage
Lewis, Alonso & Hulkenberg’s celebratory comments under Max’s post about his win
GPDA insta account investigation
Aramco power rankings
Lando drama: huge backlash on socials after the post-race interview, messy insta & anti-hate wave by the LN fanbase
Zhou & Valtteri's messages regarding their departures
Gabriel Bortoleto signed for Sauber 2025
USA Election results: Danica Patrick & Mohammed Ben Sulayem celebratory posts
Andrea Stella claiming McLaren never aimed for the WDC
Lestappen equal points (62) during the Americas triple-header
Valtteri as a reserved driver for Mercedes rumors
Lando eating expired food on Max Fewtrell’s stream
GPDA statement regarding “driver misconduct”
Petition to remove Danica Patrick from Sky Sports
Franco dating rumors: his insta likes
Jeremy Clarkson side quests 2.0: praising Max
No upgrades for Ferrari till the end of the season
Zak Brown bday
Charles with his new customized SF90 XX Stradale
Redline 23h mental health charity stream: meme livery, penalties, the inchident
“Is lestappen real?” or how the whole twt & tumblr f1 community was mortified by breaking the 4th wall
Charles in a black turtleneck
Alex buying a Porche 911 GT3 RS
Tate McRae & Lando rumors
Abu Dhabi Ferrari FP1 debate: Antonio Fuoco v Arthur Leclerc
Reddit users recognizing lestappen
Logan Sargeant IndyCar tests
Toto's reveal: Carlos’ father's phone call about Lewis to Ferrari
$30 million in Checo’s sponsorships
Kitkat x F1 partnership
Lestappen on main: RBR, Scuderia, F1, ESPN & others (+ Carlos likes one of the posts)
Alpine announcement about Mercedes PUs & gearboxes starting 2026
Max as a single constructor in the WCC standings throughout the years
Ferrari x IBM partnership
Dan Fallows to leave his post as technical director of Aston Martin
The FIA race director's departure
F1 75 Live at the O2 in London: tickets, liveries, artists, jokes
Lando bday
A rough estimation of $80 million cost for Red Bull to out Checo & sign Franco
CEO of Liberty Media stepping down
RBR socials admin choosing lestappen and violence daily
Franco dating rumors 2.0: Norwegian princess
2025 Ferrari F1 presentation in Maranello
Max’s #1 place in the most penalized drivers since 2014 (39 points)
Monaco GP extended to 2031
Ferarri denies Lewis to stay at Enzo Ferrari’s house speculation
Gilles Villeneuve statue abduction
Quilmes (beer giant) official confirmation on Franco’s sponsorship
Liam against the British anthem for McLaren
Max playing chess with an old lady
Williams financial trouble on performing one or two cars in Las Vegas: rumors proven false
Max & Daniel lost a padel match to a 13-year-old
Mercedes book release
Charles & Carlos attending the London premiere of Gladiator II
Max meowing on his stream
Jeremy Clarkson side quests 3.0: Oscar driving a tractor (literally)
The FIA’s compliance officer being fired
Carlos to drive in the end-of-season test for Williams
Franco’s interview and his determination to beat everyone on track
F1TV vids about the drivers: quick-fire questions & my highs my lows pt 2
False rumors about Domenicali's departure
Damon Hill leaving Sky Sports
The 2023 Las Vegas GP full replay on YouTube
Ferrari x Chivas partnership
Crane child abuse jokes controversy
Zhou is expected to be signed as a reserved driver for Ferrari
Franco dating rumors 3.0: this time, she is 33
Carlos about his frustration on rejection from both Redbull & Mercedes
Mick’s emotional insta message in regards to Valtteri potentially becoming a reserved driver for Mercedes
Vegas promo antics: race to the altar
#this is a mess#affectionately#kudos to my friend for helping with this#formula 1#f1#gpda#lestappen#max verstappen#charles leclerc#lando norris#franco colapinto#f1 news#anti fia#ferrari#red bull racing
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The thing about disability being a social construct is largely true, because when you have a physical issue but receive accommodations + care such that they can do everything able-bodied people can, you're no longer considered disabled. Case in point: glasses. If glasses fix near-blindness, you're not considered disabled, even though you're basically blind without them.
In a hypothetical world where mech suits existed, were cheap and comfortable and accessible and worked well, and were normalised such that people didn't even notice, even quadreplegics wouldn't be considered disabled (although of course that's distant science fiction).
That's what "disability is a social construct" means. In the same way gender being a social construct doesn't mean boobs aren't real, or money being a social construct doesn't mean physical cash doesn't exist.
I don’t agree with this analysis at all.
What hypothetical disabled people might be able to do in the future holds no meaning in the current reality I occupy
You say that quadriplegics will be “considered” abled with exoskeletons - but then you fail to elaborate on the relationship between these devices, their users, and the people who supply them
My father has had type 1 diabetes for 30 years. 30 years is an entire lifetime for some people. The cost of his insulin increased literally that ENTIRE TIME until last year when the Biden admin put caps on insulin prices
Furthermore, his insulin pump retails for 4,600$, and if it breaks, he is still diabetic at the end of the day and will slowly and terribly die without it.
I noticed a lot of people on here have lots of ideas and hypotheticals about how disabled people should and could navigate the world, but their arguments fall flat and topple so easily because you’re not connecting these ideas to anyone’s intrinsic reality
This is why so many physically disabled people are fatigued by the entire “disability is a social construct” conversation. It’s overwhelmingly used by uneducated 17 year olds to minimize and downplay and discredit the real-life, life-or-death interactions and experiences many physically disabled people live with
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(not) moving on — a max verstappen x stark!oc x charles leclerc series
★ fc: madison beer ☆ summary: evangeline "evie" stark is in love with her best friend, max verstappen, but he tries his best to keep her at arm's length. but what happens when she starts to get close to his fellow drivers in the paddock? ★ notes: F1 please don’t sue me for the BREAKING post, it’s just some silly fun. ALSO THE CHECO ANNOUNCEMENT IS FAKE TOO please please please i don't wanna get in trouble 🙏 ALL OF THEM ARE FAKE ITS JUST FOR ENTERTAINMENT
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TIME SKIP - A YEAR LATER ( the following events span a year )
liked by starkindustries and 5649109 others f1news: Redbull has announced its new Title Partner, Stark Industries, replacing Oracle. It's been rumored that the deal will last 5 years and cost a staggering $1 Billion.
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user1: yeah the future seasons are over for all the other teams at this point
user2: redbulls cars are going to end up flying around the track 😭
user3: WHO IS GOING TO BE THE NEW DRIVER? ↳ user4: maybe daniel??? RBR seems like they're very desperate to keep him ↳ user5: didn't he just sign a contract for 2024 to race alongside yuki at alphatauri ↳ user6: who knows what redbull is planning at this point
user7: "stark industries" yet the whole picture is tony stark being dramatic ↳ user17: stark industries is just an opportunity for tony stark to have an excuse to be dramatic ↳ user18: he's not even the CEO anymore ↳ starkindustries: trust me, we've tried to stop him but it never work ↳ user19: LMAOOOO NOT THE STARK INDUSTRIES ADMIN
user8: DOES THIS MEAN MORE AVENGERS APPEARANCES AT THE PADDOCK? ↳ user9: OMG YESSSSS THE LAST VISIT WAS WAY TOO SHORT
user10: the question is, is the stark industries logo going to be the actual logo or the iron man logo? ↳ user11: trick question, it's just tony stark's head as the logo
user12: max didn't think the gap between redbull and the other teams were enough so he asked his father-in-law to interfere ↳ user13: isn't evie dating charles ↳ user14: at this point no one knows where that girl is, she hasn't been in the paddock for a couple of weeks 😭 ↳ user15: WAIT SHE'S NOT AT ANY OF THE RACES??? ↳ user16: she flew back with her family and there hasn't been any interactions since
141293 likes f1news: Rumors of Red Bull Racing reportedly buying out the rest of Charles Leclerc's Contract with Ferrari.
"Stark Industries and Red Bull had always planned to get Charles Leclerc to fill their seat once Checo's retirement and the Sponsorship was announced. They were nervous about how far Leclerc's loyalties could go with Ferrari and said they'd respect whatever Leclerc decides to do," Sources say.
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user1: WHAT IS GOING ON???? FIRST STARK INDUSTRIES JOINING REDBULL AND NOW CHARLES ↳ user2: its just RUMORS ↳ user3: for now...
#f1 imagine#f1 instagram au#f1 x oc#f1 ig au#f1 oc#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x oc#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fic#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc x oc#charles leclerc smau#(not) moving on
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Two Ways to Adjust the Egg Life System
So, since the Eggs ran away in September and lived for weeks free of tasks and lives, and after they survived Purgatory while doing zero tasks, and after the three newer eggs survived for seemingly their entire lives without tasks or lives, a lot of people- both fans and creators and egg admins- have been complaining about the Egg Life System and how bullshit it is in terms of both player experience and the island’s established lore. It’s an outdated system that isn’t fun for anybody involved, and it should be properly updated for the new year.
Eggs have been the QSMP’s lifeblood since when they were first introduced in April. They were initially an event then, but they soon developed into actual people with actual personalities that both the audience and the players all became ridiculously attached to.
Eggs are given to new players to give them someone to hang out with when they’re alone on the server, and they exist for that purpose for everybody else, too.
So, if that’s the case… why the fuck can they still permadie? When lore itself showed that they don’t need to do tasks, and when players like the Korean members or like Roier or Bad would be completely alone on the server without the eggs keeping them company, it really begs the question of whether or not it’s possible to still have the eggs at risk while not explicitly killing them.
And so I present a couple of ways to adapt the Egg System to the QSMP 2024 while still allowing the eggs to be put at risk and while still having consequences for risky behavior and while still keeping the cookie system in place because, really, that’s a decent way of doing the tasks.
1. Hospitalization
Post-Purgatory, it was revealed that there’s an Egg Hospital. And it really would make sense for the server’s hyper capitalist second season to keep the hospital, and to use it the American Way.
When an egg goes down and “dies”, the egg respawns like a player would. But the egg respawns in the Egg Hospital at Spawn, and the parents have to pay a hefty fee for their eggs’ health.
The server already makes everybody collect coins and go into debt, so why not apply that to the eggs?
The fee the parents would have to pay would be ridiculous, like maybe 10k coins. Any coins they get from bounties would go to that and not to their own pockets, but the egg would still be alive. Every time the egg dies, the fee would increase regardless of whether or not the parents paid it off the last time.
So an egg has infinite lives, but the eggs and their parents are still punished for deaths. It keeps the parents from being able to buy necessities like warps or things from the Spawn Shops.
Egg Tasks are completed in exchange for Cookie Coupons, which allow the purchase of one cookie per coupon free of any monetary charge. In an emergency, parents can add to their debt by buying cookies outright. This way, eggs still get to do tasks while the parents are paying their debt.
Is this system harsh? Yeah, but so are permadeaths. This system just switches the deaths out for American-style medical debt that will ruin the parents financially should they ‘allow’ their eggs to die.
2. Repossession
Since the start of QSMP2024, the bunny employees have been trying to buy the eggs from their parents. Why not adapt that?
If an egg dies under this system, the parents receive a Strike from the Federation. After two Strikes, the egg is taken from their parents by a bunny social worker to live with the Federation until the parents can prove they’re a “good parent.”
The parents do this by taking paid parenthood classes taught by the Federation that would cost maybe 500 coins per class (coming to a total cost of 3,500 coins.) After a week of classes, the parents get their kids back.
The classes would basically be a bunny worker showing up at the parent’s home and making them do egg tasks for the bunny instead, maybe for ten minutes per day, showing that the parents can still take care of their eggs and that they aren’t neglectful or anything.
Furthermore, before the parents get their eggs back, they have to build a room specifically for their eggs if they don’t have one built already, and that room must be inspected by the bunny social worker. Parents have to show that they have food prepared for the egg. They have to have a set of armor prepared for the egg, and a sword and pickax. They have to have at least one toy or egg cosmetic purchased and waiting for the egg in the egg’s new room.
Once all this is done, after a week, the eggs get to come back, and their Strikes are reset.
This isn’t too bad, but 3,500 coins is a lot of money for a lot of players, and having to do all these chores and not having their eggs around punishes both the players and the eggs the same way a permadeath would. It’s just that this doesn’t include the egg dying, it includes a new form of Egg Trauma.
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If you have any other ideas of new systems, I’d be curious to hear them. And feel free to screenshot and share this post to Twitter if you want, that’s cool.
I just think there are ways to mess with the players and the audience without killing the eggs off, that’s all.
These systems I have proposed accommodate for server lag and general unpreparedness, such as not having good enough armor or going into a dungeon without backup.
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I work as an auto shop receptionist. Not even a big, like, chain company (like Jiffy Lube or the like), just a little shop that you'd drive past and not even realize it's there unless you were looking. And we get some of the most entitled customers, I swear. To list a couple of the most memorable ones:
1) A customer's vehicle totaled out by his insurance company. They would not pay for the repairs. The vehicle was in absolutely no condition to be driven (missing the whole front end, front axle busted, etc). The customer showed up at the shop, demanding his vehicle back, demanding to know why we weren't fixing it, and then called the cops on us when we would not just give the vehicle over without him paying checkout costs. He was complaining about needing his car back to drive Uber. My guy, you are not driving Uber in that piece of shit. Even the cop looked at the guy like "this isn't a 911 emergency, stop wasting our time".
2) A customer was told her vehicle would be done on XX date by our automated system. We explain, in great detail throughout communications, that the automated system is not a guaranteed date, but an estimated date that can fluctuate based on any number of variables (deliveries get delayed, wrong part comes in, additional damage gets found, insurance company twiddling their thumbs), and as a rule we cannot release a vehicle to a customer without some form of proof of payment. From insurance companies we get a pay screen (a screenshot showing payment is being issued) that gives us the okay. Well, she shows up at our shop on XX date...vehicle not only is not done, but we also don't have the payscreen. She proceeds to flip out like the raging Karen she is (she even had the haircut) and said we were "holding her car hostage". No amount of explaining that the vehicle was not fucking done yet would appease her, not even from the manager. When she came back when the car WAS done, she was unbelievably bitchy about it.
3) A customer who apparently thought he could just leave a completed vehicle on our lot for over a month and that storage charges were just a bluff. Needless to say, he got particularly irate when he came in and had nearly $2000 in storage on top of the cost of repairs because we called him and left him more messages than I can count warning him "hey, pick your shit up, you're accruing storage". Every vehicle that just sits here means one less spot for a vehicle we can work on.
4) A lady called our shop bitching about us not diagnosing her car properly. She neglected to tell us that her car was a diesel engine, and our system is not calibrated for diesel engines, so it would need to be taken up to a dealership for them to calibrate and we'd sublet the bill. She AND her dad then proceed to harass not only us but the dealership every hour, every day, demanding to know when her vehicle was going to be looked at. It got so bad the manager at the dealership called us like "you need to tell this bitch to chill".
5) Lady brings in a van that was damaged because a mouse got into the vehicle and chewed the hell out of the seats. We cannot get replacement seats (vehicle's like a 2011-2012, with specific colored seats, and they just plain don't make that shit anymore), so we arrange to get the existing seats reupholstered since the vehicle is getting detailed. She proceeds to call screaming "I DON'T WANT THEM REUPHOLSTERED I WANT NEW SEATS WHAT IF THEY STINK". Can't fucking win.
Posted by admin Rodney
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MY Rating of F1 drivers based on their personality(more sway) and their track presence and racing
1. Charles Leclerc
(Track Menace who is also Pookie Bear) (unintentionally funny) (just an inchident) (canonically listens to sad songs after bad races) (piano man was at some point higher in the iTunes chart than at the actual championship standings) (clueless cringefail loser) (Ice-cream man) (14 year old Max Verstappen's nightmare) (best qualifier on the grid imo) (idk something about someone who is on course for achieving greatness and will not stop until he achieves it no matter the cost, something about so much sacrifices for something he got soo close to achieving something that did not work out in the end something about how he devotes himself to Ferrari like no one else could before him something about how fate chose him to be in that seat something about how he made it look easy something about how it looked like the way was paved for him something red red red idk something about web weaving) (dogdad) (we love Leo) (went to Lewis Hamilton school of naming his dog after his rival) (oh and dreams about community services with said rival) (very strong mental health and even bigger therapy bills) (did i mention he's il predestinato of the tifosi) (biggest Ferrari fan) (only one who knows how to race max verstappen) (he was an ankle biting child see any photos of his childhood as proof) (everybody is maxplaining victim he's a maxplaining enjoyer) (suffers from middle child syndrome) (Seb's Ferrari child) (committed parricide on Sebastian Vettel in 2019 and 2020)
2. Max Verstappen
(pookiest pookie to ever pookie, track lion, big brother, catdad, certified victim ,about to be 4 time world champ, deserves so much more love, so so so incredibly talented, he's just a shy boy your honour ,free my man he did all of it but yeah vibes, because I'm dutch, fifa legend(just online), Danny kvyat has nightmares about him, geography nerd, has zero skills in any other physical sport, is planning to become a sim racer, tu tu tu du max verstappen (fun lore about Max did you know this guy was ranked 21st in the world in ultimate fifa in 2018(or was it 2016?? Doesn't matter) like can you imagine being that insane like bro you are a f1 driver in a top team like pls ??) (community service enjoyer) (certified yapper) (is terrified of fuel stations(jos verstappen when I catch you) ) (#1 lecfosi) (cringefail loser and he knows it) (teammate destroyer) (has read every rule in the rulebook and knows how to break every rule in the rulebook legally ofc all legally) (Seb's redbull child) (on his way to break every single one of Seb's record just to spite the old man)
(And is friends with an old Austrian man somehow)
3. Oscar Piastri
(Pookie bear, Mark Webbers child that has Sebastian Vettel's evil aura (Mark you will never know peace), koala, polite cat, eldest sibling energy, Android lover, Carlos Sainz's nightmare gremlin, loves cricket(cannot play well bless his heart), #1 lestappen shipper(I respect that) is also somehow the eldest of the lestappen children(his granddads are Webbanso) ) ( Him and Fernando have plotted the downfall of alpine) (I have a feeling he hates Zak brown deep down which I agree with) (grill the grid champ(like I said aura of Seb Vettel))
4. George Russell
(British individual(derogatory), king of radio messages (oh crikey), has an evil aura which is probably why he gets along with Nando, makes amazing powerpoints(facts!!), head of the gdpa and he takes it V.E.R.Y seriously probably the admin to the f1 driver group chat, part-time driver part-time strategist, he's a better driver than people give him credit for unpopular opinion but I think he can be a wdc or least a close wdc contender if given the right car I think if he was in lando's car in 2024 he probably would have taken the fight to max idk about winning but he's for sure no easy breeze, f3 and f2 wdc too, very memefiable or wotever the word is) ( T pose)(t.a.l.l.)(one sweaty boi)
5. Carlos Sainz
(Spanish chilli, smooth operator, dog lover, says bye to his racing career after 2024( no wait let me tell you something let me finish let m- *shot*), certified zoning out( Carlos has been called to the stewards), Lewis Hamilton hater prolly, certified Fred vassuer hater, poor guy really he leaves whenever a team is getting good like come on, has had very good teammates and has been friends with them, in 2025 will become the third person in history to have raced for Ferrari, McLaren and Williams, I feel like he lacks a bit of aggressiveness in his racing like he operates smoothly and intelligently sure but yk you should have a bite yk )(whenever he finds this said bite and aggressiveness it's usually against his teammate I'm observing you Carlos I'm noticing)( loves Lando Norris, golf master but humble about it, Maria Karey, one of the mature drivers on the grid, excellent at all sports, James aeiou has a crush on him, Lana del Ray coded, him and max were torro rosso nepo babies).
6. Lewis Hamilton
(7-time world champion, goat behaviour, was friends with P Diddy, rich cool wine aunt, #blessed, fashionista, Hammertime, Fernando Alonso's nightmare gremlin, don't ever mention 2016 in front of him, is haunted by Nico Rosberg, is neighbours with Nico Rosberg, will avoid Greece for the rest of his life, had a very public divorce, thus vegan, Silverstone 2008 you will always be famous, this Barbie is an f1 driver, still we rise guys, Toto Wolff and David Croft will sacrifice their bloodline for him, certified Micheal Massi hater, certified Bottas lover, we love him and Seb being the activists on the grid, this is getting manipulated man, did not survive Abu Dhabi 2021, did not survive Abu Dhabi 2016, has had caps thrown at him, Left family for Italian mafia, uncle I beg you please get your qualifying form back pls pls, is embarrassed by those toxic #teamlh and you cannot convince me otherwise, has let 2 baddies named Nico slip from him, ISS THAT GLOCK???, Bono my tyres are gone)
7. Lando Norris
(twitch streamer first f1 driver second, McLaren boy, hates papaya rules, has been multi21nd, mental health has been made very public by his own goddamn team, party-boy and DJ, fakes knowing how to play COD and Fortnite, very consistent racing good for him, terrified of first laps and poles, best friends with last laps and fastest laps(let's go Lando), shit at golf and geography but it's okay he makes up for it by being funny, probably misses being Carlos's teammate, but like Carlos lacks a bit of aggressiveness that is required, McLaren PR's nightmare gremlin, opposite of polite cat, has somehow managed to anger every fanbase and his car is the sole reason for the unification of RedBull, Ferrari and Mercedes, has been dealing with the wrath of Australia since 2021, at the end of the day just a curly haired guy ).
8. Fernando Alonso
(Spanish devil , Disney villain ahh character, 2005 and 2006 world champ, is looking for his 33rd win, Michael Schumacher's nightmare gremlin, grumpy old man first f1 driver second, lance lover(rare), Lawrence stroll's sugar baby, fast, prime Alonso I am scared of you, goat behaviour, holds a special grudge against McLaren and Lewis Hamilton(Alonso is sick of his ass), no more radio for the rest of the race, believes in karma, has dated Taylor swift apparently but is in love with Mark Webber( Jenson button is also somewhere in there), is known as El padre and has an el plan(everyone should be afraid), racecraft out of this world, 2005 Suzuka you will always be famous, all de time you have to leave da space, Alonso radio my love, aggressive but good racing the likes of which I have never seen and probably never will, what do mean by "I knew he'd brake earlier because he has 2 kids and a wife at home" like who says that what what??, worse career decisions than Ferrari strategies, bad luck so much bad luck, so chaotic so much chaos, has adopted Oscar and has plotted the downfall of alpine with him, Flavio haunts him, do not bring up Singapore 2008 in front of him especially not if Felipe Massa is present there, has driven the 2014 Ferrari and has not recovered from it, has outlasted Renault in formula one (wild), give Fernando Alonso 5 more points and he would be a 5 time wdc (even more wild), bye bye I'm still the bad guy)
9. Alex Albon
(alabonoo) ( bff with George Russell) ( is bullied by George Russell) (golf wag first f1 driver second) ( James aeiou has a favourite and it's Alex Albon) ( Alex really said I'm Thai first and a colonizer second and good for you Alex) (2020 Alex and 2022 onwards Alex are different people okay?) ( he's a consistent racer much like Lando but he makes mistakes more often, under pressure working is not his forte sorry pals but it had to be said) ( he's a really nice dude tho and really funny as well ) ( dude has a Chipotle member card as one of his essentials and you tell me I'm not supposed to love him come on be reasonable)(he has his own zoo he's a certified pet owner) ( if I had the money for that amount of pets I would do the same Alex I get it ) (also he's a Ferrari fan so you just know bro is always on hopium) (I think he gets put under the radar often but he's great) ( he seems to be a chill dude imo)(we both love lily)
10. Nico Hulkenberg
(German but like in a cool way) ( has been giving dad energy before he was a dad) ( called Hulk but is probably the calmest person on the grid) ( give my man Bruce Banner his podium nah it's not even funny anymore he deserves so much better than that) ( he's won le mans on his first try yk give him the Redbull seat for godsakes) (Nico is so cheeky like I know he's a gen x or something but like I see the genz potential yk) (Audi better have a car good enough for a podium I swear to god if we say bye to him before a podium I'm uhm I'm uh I'm gonna cry).
11. Yuki Tsunoda
(anime boi) (wants a restaurant before he wants a world championship and I respect that Yuki) (has an evil aura) (certified hothead because he's a certified good chef) (has the bitch spirit to be a Redbull driver but is not. because of Horner issues) (Yuki does make the occasional mistakes but like he's far better than the alt no?) (in the words of Yuki "idk man wotever") (too much anger for too small body) (is in love with Pierre Gasly) (is bullied by Pierre Gasly) (everybody loves Yuki even Nando is a fan)(tbf nandos a fan of anyone who has an evil aura) (people are terrified of Yuki radio as they rightfully should be) (Yuki is nightmare gremlin of every race engineer).
12. Pierre Gasly
(French but like from the north of France)(known for being French and Max Verstappen's teammate thus known for being fucked over by Redbull, also known for his revenge win in Monza) ( he's just a great driver like if given the right car he can fight at the top and win he's not on Max and Charles level yet but I feel like around George and better than Lando) ( he's also a good qualifier maybe it has something to do with speaking French who knows but yeah amazing what he can do in that shit alpine) (unfortunately he has a severe case of resting bitch face but he's very nice actually unless you are Esteban then he's not very nice) (yeah he also has the brocedes case of childhood best friends turned enemies but like French and he's very much Lewis in that way which means he would much rather ignore estie bestie than talk about him e.v.e.r while estie brings up his bestie Pierre wherever he can like Nico)( oh and he loves one Japanese boi)(pierreeee gasllyyyyy)
13. Kevin Magnussen
(Kmag the Viking) (my god nobody races like kmag lol) Okay so maybe I put him this high because he's a track terror to everyone but like watcha want me to do? Not acknowledging kmag's great defending is a crime, he is here to cause menace no matter how many penalty points he gains or races he's banned from he's really coming for Ocon's penalty points honour tbh. Shame really that this is his last season... just when things got interesting *sigh* (off the track he's a chill girldad) (hulk and kmag had an enemies-to-lovers story arc and I think that's beautiful)
14. Esteban Ocon
(he's French, he's from Normandy in France which is the north of France so you just know he was a bored child) (he and Pierre were bored babies) (which is probably why he races the way he does lol) (5-second penalty for Ocon) (no but seriously this guy has mad potential but also he's a mad teammate killer and not in a good way) (he has made a way for himself in formula one and he belongs here it's just that maybe if he tried targeting people other than his teammates he would make it much easier for himself) (he's a very cheerful person irl) (big Marvel fan) (gives very early teenage boy vibes) (softie at heart) (cannot for the life of him pronounce squirrel)(oh he also loves lance(rare)) (Estie bestie is on the podium babyyy)
15. Daniel Riccardo
(Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi oi oi ) (damn Daniel) (it's not tears it's athlete sweat ) (I mean I knew it was time to go but still it didn't have to be this way it's okay tho Danny is enjoying retirement and dirt bikes) (yeah the performance was just not there for Danny boi not that we could see it anyway because of vcarbs shit strategy or whatever they call it) (I miss prime Daniel he was such an annoyance to Sebastian)(2014 Daniel took the Australian revenge on Seb for his crimes against Mark Webber) (but yeah Daniel you go out of this sport with lots of love and a fastest lap)(ki ki aye)
16. Valtteri Bottas
(Finnish when he was in Mercedes but is officially Australian since then) ( Bottas more like Bott-ass get what I mean) (I mean that he has a weird obsession with his gluteus maximus) (Valtteri pls I beg you stop this behaviour) (10 time Grand Prix winner Valtteri has nightmares about James aeiou) (Valtteri it's James) (he's pretty chill all he cares about is racing, cyclist girlfriend, and his mullet+moustache(not necessarily in that order)) also here's a sad fact since Valtteri won't be on the grid next year it would be the first time a Finnish racer is not in the grid since 1989 yeah everybody is waiting for Robin Raikkonen now.
17. Sergio Perez
(Checo damn man what happened) (no 2 Redbull driver curse got to checo) (he was doing so good in racing point like Sakhir 2020 my beloved last to first, man what a performance that was) (he is capable of doing such great things but nooo bro gets knocked out in q1 more than he has reached q3) (Redbull killed the dawg in him man) (certain Austrian man haunts his nightmares and no it's not Niki Lauda) (he and Logan are the nightmare gremlins for mechanics)(even when he performs it's usually in no human right countries so he's not really helping the allegations) ( this poor Latina I swear to god) (he can't drive and he's up and about with other women(Taylor swift 1989 reference) aye aye aye(checo go home to your wife and children).
18. Logan Sargeant
(American) (bald eagle noises) (collective groan of William mechanics) (sorry logie bear)(James aeiou shall face the wrath of Jenson button it's ok) (first American to score points in f1 since 1993 that's 30 years so yaaay!!) (American history will be kind to you Logan)(not sure about f1 history tho) (your last gift to us was a sick ass album cover and I respect it) (if only he knew what a kilometre was * sigh*)(bye bye miss American pie).
19. Zhou Guanyu
(China boy) (another alpine escapee) (Zhou I'm sorry but you're not him anymore) (I miss pre-Silverstone 2022 Zhou where has my dawg gone man) (Zhou may not be as good of a racer now but he makes it up by being a fashionista) (tbf to him that Sauber stake monstrosity is not really helpful so) (also he is a catdad and had an emo phase through f3) (He's the first Chinese to ever race in f1 I think he's done his country proud) (He's also a proud Valtteri lover)
Okay so rookies next I did not include them here well because they have had like on avg 4 races soo
1. Oliver bearman
(ollie) (what a wonderful job he has done my god) (p7 in Jeddah on a day's notice wow dude) (he's driving for Haas in 2025 and his teammate is Esteban so that's..great (my condolences!! ifykyk)) also points in Baku after he passed his teammate (tell me you are a lestappen child w/o telling me you're a lestappen child) what I've seen from him I can tell he's very relentless that's good(also he's the most employed unemployed person ever) (also I heard people criticising him by commenting on his current f2 season like babe did u see his rookie f2 season?? that's why he's here not because of this year but last year and he's not doing bad this year it's just the car is shit but yeah he was at one point higher in the f1 standings than in f2 so I get why people are confused lol) (also he's super likeable very Genz very demure very mindful) (Ferrari has grown him in a lab with utmost care so he's very much a PR baby)
(oh yeah also he's in love with Kimi Antonelli) (yeah they are being genz lestappen)
2. Franco Colapinto
(Frankie baby) (Argentinian and very proud) (is very funny) (is also very genz) (sent James aeiou into a crisis by doing a better job than Alex Albon) (scored 4 times the amount of points than his predecessor in his 2nd race) (looks like Senna goes for the gap like Senna( in racing!! in racing!! calm down man)) (he deserves his place in f1 next year my god) (like the racecraft he has shown is very impressive I'm impressed and so is very f1 team even if he does not get the seat next year I doubt people are gonna forget about him believe me he will be in the talks still) (like I said he's not even had a full f2 season when he was called in for Williams and yet the incredible pace he has shown is fantastic) (has all the 30+ aged drivers enthralled with him and I don't blame them I would be too) (also he refers to Ocon as the Frenchman so where do I submit my stan card??) (oh and he has been adopted by Max Verstappen)
3. Liam Lawson
(aka New Zealand's revenge on Australia) (he did a fantastic job in 2023 and has been doing a fantastic job in 2024) (his idol is Lighting McQueen.....so now that everybody knows that he's Genz you can probably understand why he is beefing with Nando and Checo(boomers) (I think he drives aggressively but not as smoothly he is yet to find a balance it looks like but hey it's working out for him no?) (honestly just give either him or Yuki the Redbull seat) (off the track he's quite an expressive person but I don't think we have seen much of his personality he's friendly for sure and I mean he's a cars fan like come on he's a Pixar kid) (idk something about him says yeah I'm Genz but I still go on Facebook) (not that it's bad not saying the vibes are bad just Liam show more personality).
So that's pretty much it let me kno-what ? what do you mean I forgot someone oh lance stroll?? yeah no I didn't forget(I wish) I just have nothing to say really.
PLS READ these rankings are in my opinion and my opinion only please be kind to me this ranking is for humorous and comedic purposes only no hate to anyone!!
#formula 1#max verstappen#charles leclerc#lestappen#f1#oscar piastri#carlos sainz#kevin magnussen#nico hulkenberg#alex albon#franco colapinto#logan sargeant#pierre gasly#esteban ocon#ollie bearman#george russell#lewis hamilton#fernando alonso#sergio perez#yuki tsunoda#liam lawson#daniel ricciardo#valterri bottas#zhou guanyu#formula one drivers#Formula One#lando norris
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BITCHES ITS SPOOKY SEASON!
Hey guys! This past month our Coalition has been writing our latest Competition: Monsterstuck! Yall should join us in reading and voting from now until October 1st! You can choose between Scariest Monster, Angstiest Injury or Death Scene, Best in Executing a Twist, and more!
There were 12 entries in total, featuring a wide variety of monsters (both scary, and not!) List below the cut for yall to check out.
(Artwork by our awesome admin @arealpeople)
(1) Bad Dog
Becquerel will keep Jade Harley safe at any cost.
(2) A Fish Out of Water
Sollux is unlucky with love, this is until he meets Feferi at a party.
(3) Do Robots Dream of Eternal Sleep?
You are designation BR-0, a V1 model.
(4) Lady Woegoth and the Emerald Flame
Four months and thirteen days after defeating the notorious White Wizard, Rose Lalonde goes after one of his followers in a desperate bid to save the world.
(5) Cottage in the Woods
Dave wakes up in a cottage in the woods with little memory of how he got there. Luckily, there's a kind young woman there to take care of him.
(6) Vantaswocky
They took their vorpal swords in hand; Long time the manxome foe they sought— So rested they by the Tumtum tree And stood awhile in thought. And, as in uffish thought they stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as he came!
(7) To Touch the Stars
Kanaya asks squid mermaid Rose out on a date with a bouquet of flowers and gets to see the stars up close.
(8) Crestfallen Kings and Queens
You stare in awe and terror at the deepsea monstrosity behind the glass cage taking up nearly half of the entire facility.
(9) With The Tides
It's been a year since she disappeared. You don't want to go.
(10) Our C A M P F I R E S O N G song! (there is no song)
Staring into the scarlet flames, tales are told to raise some manes.
(11) Not Your Mama's Ship Fic
Adventurer Extrordinare Jake English is visiting Inverness, Scotland for a week.
(12) Her Deep Disquiet
In 1894, Miss Jade Harley, a private detective employed by the Crocker-English Company, went to a small New England town to follow the trail of a missing woman. This series of letters is all that remains.
Special shout out to our authors! @eridan-amporaa ; @dave2olkat ; @orangestorapples ; @ambrosianlullaby ; @jonayariley ; @bralsradoesfanfiction ; @june-egbert-official ; @manifestmerlin ; @bigtopcheezborger ; @neapolitangirl ; @tehstripe ; @aspendrake1185
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I'd like to plan a Good Omens meetup for Saturday October 19th, 2024. Poll below!
Edit: If you're looking for the Discord link, please message me!
We're currently looking at a hotel in Langhorne, PA that has a good bit of space. Just need to see about availability and cost.
For our immunocompromised and vulnerable fellow fans who plan to attend, we're going to include a masking policy in our event spaces and hallway/foyer outside those rooms. We'll have extras available.
All ages welcome; under 18 must attend with a guardian.
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Start original message:
The Ineffable Society Meetup is a thought that's brewed in my brain since June 2023 when a bunch of local GO fans chanced to meet for the first time at the King of Prussia PA screening of series 2 episode 1 and 2.
It is time to stop brewing and let others contribute.
Here's my initial thoughts:
I'm willing to organize but not alone. We'll need to work together.
I live near Philadelphia, PA so this is the area I'm willing to do what needs doing primarily in Eastern PA, Central NJ, surrounding areas therein.
I'd want everyone attending to be 18 or older, please. I encourage those 17 and under to organize something together!
Taking suggestions for type of venues to host, think like a family reunion or larger.
I'm not interested in handling money, so would seek at least 2 people to oversee financials if that comes into play. (Finances might be needed to cover renting a space, any printed materials, little swag gifts.)
As mentioned, Saturday October 19th. Because it's close to the Earth's Birthday. :3
Afternoon through evening could be good. Maybe a 3 hour window on the small end; most of the day on the larger end. Will depend on location and on how many helpers step up.
Good Omens related fun: encouraging cosplay, script book readings, discussions, games, swaps. Maybe screening an episode together (there's copyright law to contend with here though). Depending on how much time we have together and space. Simplest plan would be an informal Good Omens afternoon mixer type.
If fewer than 12 people are interested:
We could just meetup at a restaurant that has a function room! (Not super ideal for allergies, as there's probably nowhere that's good for everyone. But does it in a pinch. And would probably not be a big up-front cost. Often there's a small room fee and then the assumption everyone will eat.)
If more than 12 up to 40 people are interested:
We might consider renting some conference rooms at a small hotel. (That does make it easier for people to find accommodations: already there! At a hotel! Downside is this will require chipping in.)
Any more than 40 people and uhhh... We'll figure it out.
WHAT I NEED TO KNOW FROM YOU
There will be more questions to follow, but most important one is below.
Please answer YES if you are:
A Good Omens fan
18 or older
In the Eastern PA to Central NJ area
Or are otherwise willing, able, and interested to go there
For transparency. A little about me:
I'm North (SeedsOfWinter). They/he.
Over the past two and a half decades, I've organized or been a member of organizations that planned meetups, game nights, reunions, and nerd events for friends and strangers alike.
I've been a Good Omens fan since June 2019. I run @rareomens. I am a mod for @ineffableeraszine and @bildadzine. I was a mod for the Our Side Zines, Pin Me Up 2, and many more. I was a founding admin for the LGBTQIA+ Fans of Good Omens groups.
I've been part of convention presentations for Good Omens at The Ineffable Con (virtual) and DragonCon (in-person, Atlanta GA). I love to organize fan photoshoots and meetups.
I know that any attempt at gathering people requires a team to make it happen; and that there's pitfalls and perils to all of it, especially when you're dealing with a bunch of possible strangers meeting for the first time! But the end result (you all getting a chance to connect together as fans) is feeling pretty worth it.
#good omens#good omens fandom#the ineffable society#ineffable society#the ineffable society meetup#fan meeting#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#crowley
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Do you all have any proof that Invictus wants nothing to do with Harry or is it just a hunch based on narratives you’ve made up yourselves? Or maybe it is just wishful thinking on your part?
First off, reading and context is fundamental. No one has said Invictus wants nothing to do with Harry. We’re saying that it doesn’t make sense why Invictus keeps Harry around when he doesn’t appear to provide them any value. From a liability and risk management perspective, they have to be doing something to protect themselves from his lack of engagement.
And it is actually data-driven speculation. I don’t make stuff up here; I am always researching, I am always reading, I am always learning, and that is what informs my theories. There is very little I take at face-value.
But since your insult was polite, I’ll let you look at my homework instead of telling you to go figure it out yourself. Just this one time.
So this is the financial report from the UK charity registry:
Expenses (money going out) and income (money coming in, i.e. the donations) are virtually the same. In other words: as of 2022, Invictus is barely breaking even. This is not good; it means, more or less, they're one crisis away from some serious problems.
It also means that their actual Games - which, in 2022 would have been The Hague/Dutch IG - are expensed entirely by the host city. So basically, the charity itself is nothing more than a glorified events planner spending someone else's money. That's...not exactly the mission we're told that Invictus Games is.
Now, that orange line there on the bottom is what the UK calls "governance." (In the US, we call it "administrative.") This is what it means, from IG's 2022 financial report:
Note that this doesn't include salaries for the 12 (as of 12/31/2022) employees at IG. According to Giving is Great, a UK charity watchdog, senior staff costs (i.e. salaries and benefits) is 26%, or approximately £500,000. Add the governance/admin costs, and we're looking at £750,000 a year just to keep the charity's lights on. When your total budget is £2 million, that's a big chunk of change. 40%, in fact.
Second let's look at their income. The UK charity registry breaks the "gross income" down into several subcategories. For Invictus Games:
(The column headers were cut off but from left to right it's 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022.)
Meaning that in 2022, their income came from donations, trading, and charitable activities.
(Remember that in 2020, the Royal Foundation made a £1 million donation to Invictus Games, which I believe makes up the majority of that £1.4m donation. If that assumption is correct, then that means in 2020, Harry was only able to fundraise an additional £400,000 in donations. Now, 2020 was a very difficult year for a lot of charities and nonprofits so that steep dropoff isn't unusual to see in the financial reports.)
Now from the 2022 financial report, here's what these categories mean:
So just really quick. Unrestricted means that the recipient chooses where/how to spend the money. Restricted means that the donor directs where/how the charity spends the money. So Invictus could spend £381K of the donations (Category #2) anywhere they wanted to, but for the remaining £700K of donations they received, they had to follow specific directions on how to use it.
What this is saying is that of the total income earned by Invictus Games in 2022, only £1.08 million came from donations.
Now, in my (volunteer) experience working in nonprofit fundraising most lay people (i.e. members of the general public who donate to charities) don't usually direct or designate their donation. So most of the regular donations are going into the unrestricted pot. Corporate donors, sponsors, or partners are more likely to give restricted gifts, where they direct how the money will be spent. So based on my experience, I feel comfortable assuming, or suggesting, that £231,447 received in unrestricted donations is people like, you, me, and Sussex Squad donating to Invictus out of pocket.
That's a pretty poor showing. And in my opinion, it's a direct reflection of Harry's leadership; he isn't inspiring people to donate to Invictus. Instead, the bulk of Invictus's income/donations is coming from corporate sponsorships.
Most charities cannot survive on corporate sponsorships and partnerships. It does not guarantee long-term survival. Long-term survival is predicated on investments, endowments, and contracts...which Invictus doesn't have, which means their patron isn't doing his share.
Third let's look at the actual Games themselves. The Hague/Dutch IG was given a budget of €15 million (~$16 million). According to this leaked letter from the Dusseldorf IG Committee, the Hague IG Games actually ended up costing €25 million (~$27 million). That's a 60% increase, and it's impossible for all of that to be due to COVID-related inflation.
Going backed to the leaked Dusseldorf IG letter, their budget was about €27 million (~$29 million). It's being reported that the Dusseldorf IG actually ended up costing closer to €37 million (~$40 million). This is a 37% increase; they were also very over budget.
And in March 2023, Invictus Games 2025 signed and published, to their website, a Contribution Agreement outlining that Canada's budget for the Vancouver IG is $30 million CAD (~$22 million USD); $15 million CAD (~$11 million USD) from the province of British Columbia and $15 million CAD from the government of Canada.
So if I split the baby for budget overrun [(60% + 37%)/2=48.5%], we're looking at Vancouver IG to probably end up costing around $44.5 million CAD.
In other words...they're in trouble. Meaning that Invictus and its board should be working together with the local corporation(s) to cut costs and increase savings/get new sponsors and partners. Meaning that the patron should be out there campaigning and fundraising for money or figuring out how and where to cut costs...but he isn't.
Or those efforts aren't visible. Not when the competing PR is about Harry's attacks on the BRF, Spare, Meghan's merching, and stories like this one of key leaders being abruptly fired and whistleblowers leaking to the press.
Now why would someone be abruptly fired without notice? It's not for shock and awe. It's either for incredible malfeasance (like fraud and embezzlement) or because someone much higher up wanted it. Since there's no paper trail or proof of wrongdoing - which Vancouver IG would have leaked in some way, shape or form - all the evidence strongly suggests the two men were fired because someone else demanded it. Maybe, say, someone who costs so much more than he's actually worth, who causes more problems than solves, who has alienated a lot of public goodwill. Of course, that's just pure speculation. But it is strange. One person getting fired without notice, sure, not really worth paying attention. But two people? And two people who purportedly know a whole lot about what's happening behind closed doors? That's hinky.
Have I forgotten anything?
Oh, right. This: growing criticism and dissatisfaction from local host-nation communities, Invictus's competitors and their families, and social media over the Sussexes' inability (and disinterest) to promote anyone but themselves whilst attending events.
The last thing any brand wants (or needs) is an ambassador that alienates their core customer base and prospective supporters and dominates the news with controversy. Brands, including nonprofit organizations, rely pretty heavily on:
The goodwill and positive attention their ambassadors generate
The users, fans, supporters, customers, and consumers that follow their ambassadors and
The networks their ambassadors move in.
Harry doesn't do any of that either:
He loses public goodwill every time he opens his mouth and invites only criticism.
The customers (the veterans and their families) aren't happy that their efforts are overshadowed. The consumers (people at home following along) are unhappy and dissatisfied that they can't find information about the competitors or the Games themselves because the only press coverage is about Harry and Meghan.
Harry is completely excluded from the royal, military, international, and aristo networks that propped him up 10 years ago to launch this thing. Invictus can't tap into that anymore, so why should they keep him around?
Let's review.
Invictus's expenses and income barely break even. Further, their reserves allow them to operate for less than one whole year. That's a really uncomfortable place to be in. Where is their patron to help seek out income streams that would build up their reserves?
Based on donation data, they're wheezing along on spit and prayer. They rely almost exclusively on corporate sponsors/partners. There's no investments, no endowments, no contracts. Actual "from the people" donations is just paltry. Where is their patron to lead fundraising campaigns, recruit new sponsors, develop investment opportunities?
The costs to host the Games keeps ballooning. Some cost overrun is normal, expected, and even budgeted for, but not the amounts that Invictus keeps turning out. Where is their patron to help look for new partners or charm everyone over with budget cuts?
There was a personnel shakeup in the Vancouver 2025 leadership that caused a lot of questions and concerns about their readiness to host their events and revealed a lot of morale issues. Where was their patron to calm the chaos?
There's growing criticism over the patron's behavior that is reflecting badly on Invictus Games and their brand. Where is the patron changing his behavior, changing his attitude, changing his priority?
I'll tell you where the patron is. He and his wife are flying around the world to party at Soho Houses, whine about being cut off from his family after he spent 3 years attacking them, spending other people's money in ridiculous ways, and getting wastedly high after his wife and kids go to bed.
The longer Invictus Games is associated with that, the more it reflects on them and their brand. They can't afford that. Not when they're promoting themselves as "family friendly" or "family supporting" (which is how they've justified Meghan's involvement).
It doesn't make any sense for them to keep Harry on. He's not fundraising for them. He's not schmoozing. He costs more money than he brings in. The people they serve don't like him. He isn't bringing big donors in. He isn't speaking to or supporting his family.
And allllllllll this together is why I say "I wouldn't be surprised if Invictus is trying to phase Harry out." It's why I say "depending on how well Germany Invictys 2024 goes, that may be the proof they can survive without him."
It's data-driven speculation. Not something I've made up. The only thing that's made up is the speculation about why two senior leaders were so abruptly fired. But that isn't even part of the analysis or the calculation.
Next time, anon, you're doing your own fucking research.
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Old Scars (Part 1)
Ledger!joker x reader
Fem!reader is kidnapped by the joker and his henchmen while just trying to get a moment's reprieve from her boring, soul-destroying job ✨️
Tw: I mean, we all saw TDK, right? I'd say this is on the same level/rating. Kidnapping, violence, mentions of minor characters (not J) being misogynist/threatening SA, reference to past traumatic injury. Beyond this i'm not sure, i'll update these when I write more.
🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏🃏
I stared despairingly at the huge stack of paperwork my line manager had just slapped down on my desk. I sighed and bit the inside of my cheek. None of my male co-workers had to deal with her extra work. This was such bullshit.
"Ah, you are a life saver, (y/n). What would I do without you?"
Her own work, probably, I thought to myself, sighing in exasperation as she left me to my souless cubicle.
By the time i'd finished up, it was getting cold out. After taking a detour to try and stave off the inevitable return to my shitty apartment, I found myself in front of a particularly expensive shop. My feet were aching from the heels my backwards regional manager insisted on the female admin staff wearing and my head hurt from the tight bun my hair was scraped into. His smirk was etched into my brain, as were his vile words on his latest visit.
"You're a very attractive young lady, even with your face like that. Your body makes up for it."
I felt pure rage rising up again at the memory. It was the way he's said it as though he truly believed it was a compliment. The laughter of my coworkers rang in my ears. To them it was all a big joke and I was just too uptight to appreciate it.
What I wouldn't give to see the area manager humbled one day... but that was pure fantasy and I knew it. I wondered what he'd buy with his overinflated christmas bonus this time, while we were all given a meeting to explain why they couldn't justify a minor pay rise to ease the cost of living crisis in Gotham.
The twinkling lights of the high end window displays were a beautiful contrast to the bleary grey outside, and after another hellish day in the purgatory which was the cubicle farm, my heart warmed a little. Everything in the store was definitely well out of my meagre price range, but the inner child in me was drawn in to look at all the pretty evening dresses and jewellery. I shrugged to myself, figuring there's never any harm in window-shopping and a little indulgent fantasy. Even if I could afford any of the opulent dresses, half of them were really ball gowns, and what events was I ever invited to where you'd need a dress like that? No, those sort of parties were for Gotham's social elite - charity fundraisers, galas and that sort of thing, no doubt.
I was half expecting a staff member to immediately spot me in my regular civilian garb and herd me back out of the door like a stray dog but they seemed to be dealing with a particularly difficult customer at the tills. She was waving her arms around and pulling a "do you know who my husband is?".
I stifled a laugh at the image of her, in her ridiculous fur coat shouting frantically and looking like she was about to give herself a anyeurism, if the prominent vein on her forehead was anything to go by. I turned away from her soap operatics and back to the rails of clothes in front of me. I gently touched the fabrics, marvelling at the softness of the richest velvet. Gazing at cool silk like rippling water; nothing like the cheap imitation the rest of us were accustomed to. I got drawn into my own little world imagining who might wear each dress and for what occasion.
"Can I help you with something?"
The voice pulled out the rug on my little escape instantly. I felt anxiety rising in my chest but resolved not to panic completely.
"Oh, I was just browsing..." I said, faking the best dismissive tone I could.
"You're sure, I'd be more than happy to help. Do you want to try anything?" She pressed, a friendly tone rather than the suspicion I had anticipated.
Perhaps my work suit was giving a higher-end impression than I had realised... or maybe she was new here.
"This one is particularly lovely, don't you think?" She gestured to the garment I unknowingly had a hand on, pausing as she'd approached. She wasn't wrong, it was a rich purple, ridiculous really, with layers and layers of tule skirting, but somehow the fine cut and quality of the fabric, and the detailing made it look classy rather than like something out of 'my big fat gypsy wedding'.
When was I ever going to get the chance to try on a literal ball gown? I decided to play into it, after all, I could always say I needed to go away and review my options. They couldn't make me buy it.
"It is lovely," I murmured.
"Do you want to try it on?"
"If it isn't too much trouble..."
Before I knew it, I was being whisked into a dressing room. The shop girl came whirling in with the dress and began unfastening it for me.
"Shoe size?" She asked briskly.
I hurriedly blurted out my answer and she dashed back onto the floor.
I kicked off my uncomfortable work heels and removed my blazer, skirt and scarf. Somehow I felt even more like an imposter standing there in just my undergarments and a pair of tights. I hurriedly pulled the dress up and held it in place. Before I knew it, she'd returned and began fastening me up at the back.
I gasped, both from the air being pushed out of my lungs as she cinched the hidden corsetry, and in awe at what I saw in the mirror. I had never had particularly wonderful self-image, but since the accident, I'd really shrunk into the background. I had always been shy, but i'd become a total wallflower these days. I hated the public-facing parts of my job - if it was telephone or email correspondence, people couldn't react in their myriad shitty ways to my facial scarring, but sometimes I was on front desk duty. Those were the worst days for me.
She made a minor adjustment to my hair, pulling a few strands loose around my face. To my surprise, she hesitated as she saw my scars up close, but didn't recoil, or pull more hair out to try and hide them. Her delicate fingers lingered for a moment, hovering above where my eyebrow was split into three by the forks of red lightning which were still deeply scored into my skin. I had mostly made my peace with it, but it was other peoples' reactions to my face that caused me the most pain. The grimaces, the staring, looking startled, regarding me with pity, strangers asking me what happened, it could all just be too damn much some days. It was a rare a beautiful thing to have someone not react negatively in some way.
I knew I was lucky to still be in the land of the living, and that I was in remarkable shape considering what happened that day, but it had left an inescapable mark. I anxiously ran my fingers over my temple, over the metal plate holding my skull together somewhere beneath the skin. She pulled her own hand back away slowly.
"You look beautiful, miss," she smiled with a genuine warmth that made me begin to believe it. It seemed as though she could sense my sudden swell of insecurity.
The shop girl was young, couldn't be more than sevetneen or eighteen, and I prayed that she somehow retained her gentleness in a city as ugly as Gotham.
"Thank you," I said, tearing up a little.
The dress itself was surprisingly lightweight and not like some kind of Victorian horror complete with a hoop skirt. Instead, it looked quite modern, and had a lot of volume in the skirt due to the layers of tulle fabric, which meant that you could still dance with ease. I did a little twirl for good measure, watching how it flowed and moved around my form. The shop girl smiled at my childlike delight.
Unfortunately, my elation was shattered in an instant. A chorus of screams and panicked shouts, followed by a spray of gunfire hit us like a slap to the face. The shop girl's eyes widened in confusion and panic, and I grasped onto her arm to steady myself. We strained our ears, trying to make out what exactly was happening. My brain was struggling to make the jump from the moment I had just been experiencing to the very real danger we were now thrust into.
After a couple of agonising seconds, there was another round of shots, and I heard a gruff male voice shout;
"Everybody get down!"
"Try to stay calm," I whispered, my own voice shaking.
I herded us into the corner of the booth and desperately gestured for her to undo the corset, not wanting to have to run for my life in the stupid dress. I could hear crashing and footsteps, as though the place was being ransacked and bit the inside of my cheek as the girl shakily tried to loosen the cord for me.
"Check in the back, we don't want anyone calling the cops!" came a voice which sounded unsettlingly close by.
Suddenly, someone burst through the door into the dressing room. We froze, praying whoever it was, wouldn't round the corner, but sadly it was too late. The scraping metallic sound of the curtains of each booth being flung aside echoed around the room. I counted each one, feeling as though my heart had stopped beating altogether, sick with anticipation. They were going left to right, and would reach us soon enough.
The curtain to our booth was torn to the side, and an enormous man stood in the light. The shop girl let out a yelp of terror as she huddled behind me with her head in her hands.
"Found two hideaways!" He yelled out, lurching forward to grab at us.
In a blind panic, my body blocking him from the terrified girl behind me, I kicked and struck out like a feral street cat stuck in a trap. I got a few solid kicks in but was ultimately not match for the man towering over us.
"Quit struggling you stupid bitch," he spat, striking me across the face.
Dazed, and with my eye stinging already, I felt another pair of hands grasp me and haul me out into the open. The barrel of a gun was quickly jammed into the small of my back.
"Stop causing trouble if you want to live," he hissed.
A third figure appeared and roughly forced the girl to her feet as well.
"This one looks so scared she might piss herself," he chuckled.
"Leave her the fuck alone," I muttered through gritted teeth.
"Ooo, you got a mouth on you, huh, rich girl?" Said the one holding me at gunpoint.
"Mm the boss ain't gonna like that, maybe we should gag her," one of his companions snorted.
"Nah, leave it. I wanna see what he does if she gives him any back talk," crowed the third one.
They marched us out onto the marble of the shop floor. Both shoes had come off the moment i'd started to struggle against our attackers and the tiling felt cold as ice beneath my unsteady feet. I saw that there were three other men holding up the cashiers and the handful of customers as they huddled together in one corner.
"Look what we found in the back," announced the biggest of the three men, shoving us forward.
It was only then that I noticed everyone's attention seemed to be drawn to one man, a man who I couldn't yet see, on account of him facing away from us as he nonchalantly rifled through the nearest rack of clothing.
He was a fairly tall man, perhaps a little over six feet, wearing a long coat. It was well in need of a wash, covered in dirt and ashy, yet still obviously purple in colour - though perhaps not the vibrant purple it once was. His hair could best be described as messy; a straggly mop of green waves, with his natural brown hair showing through at the roots and in patches. His body language was odd, the way he held himself, with his shoulders hunched, unsettled me.
As he turned around, to see what his henchmen had brought in, I felt a pang of total despair. I recognised his streaky painted face from a recent news broadcast, and I knew instantly that we were in deep trouble. This was the man they called 'the joker'. I could hear the poor shop girl sobbing behind me somewhere, barely hiding her sheer terror.
"Ah more guests for our little party," he exclaimed, his voice and intonation seeming as erratic as his physical movements.
"What you want us to do with them, boss?" Grunted the shorter goon to my left.
"Put them with the others," he gestured, stalking forward.
I turned to watch as he approached the shop girl, my heart in my throat.
"And who do we have here?" He asked, in a tone mimicking gentleness, which was even more unsettling than his usual, more sinister way of talking.
"S-sarah," she choked out between sobs.
"S-sarah? What's wrong s-sarah? Are you s-scared?" He cooed, practically circling her like a big cat.
I felt sick watching him toy with her, and anger began to rise in my chest. Sarah nodded defeatedly.
"Please don't hurt me," she whimpered, unable to look him in the eyes.
"Oh now why would you think we are gonna do that?" He exclaimed.
She didn't seem to know how to answer.
"Just do everything we ask, and some of you will live," he grinned patting her on the head, "put her with the rest," he gestured dramatically to the others in the corner.
His goons did as he asked and shifted her to where the others were cowering in the corner. I bit my tongue as his attention now shifted to me.
"My my, what a pretty dress, I love the colour," he purred, barely three strides away from me now.
I said nothing, hoping he would somehow just lose interest. There was still the largest goon stood beside me, pistol jammed into my lower spine so I didn't want to antagonise either of them.
He got close enough to reach out and touch me, pulling off one of his leather gloves with his teeth. The red painted smile, already smeared and smudged, left its mark on his finger tips with the clumsiness of his action. I was trying very hard to keep a steady breath, refusing to panic as I knew it would only worsen my situation.
"What's the matter? Are you shy?" He asked, that fake empathetic tone creeping in again.
"No, I just don't find that a hostage situation lends itself to free and easy conversation," I snapped back, unable to suppress my anger fully.
He tilted his head to the side, a glint in his dark brown eyes as they searched my face, scanning, analysing. In defiance, I stared right back.
In my struggle with his henchmen, my face had become half obscured by the hair which had come loose from my bun, and my hands being behind my back, I had not been able to move it out of the way.
Suddenly breaking his stillness, he reached inside his coat pocket and withdrew a knife. The switch blade swung open with a characteristic clack. I bit my tongue even harder to try and subdue my panic.
He reached out his ungloved hand to rougly grasp my face. Everything within me was screaming to struggle free, to run for the hills, but I was stuck. I'd be shot down before I made it two steps, I knew that.
"You are beautiful," he mused, " tell me, does this," he moved the knife barely an inch from my face, "does this, scare you?"
I grimaced, unable to stop myself from recoiling at his skin touching my own.
"Do you ever wonder what life is like for the ugly?" He asked, flatly.
Undeterred by my shrinking away from his touch, he roughly used his fingers to comb my fallen hair back away from my face. Once the curtain of hair was lifted, my scars were revealed, and his face took on a curious, unreadable riot of emotion for a split-second.
"What's the matter, am I not as beautiful as you thought?" I muttered sarcastically, wanting to pre-empt his inevitable mockery.
He clearly liked to pick people apart, to try and tap into their biggest fears, so it seemed a sure thing that he would have plenty to say about my face. This only made me all the more dumbfounded when he put away the knife and his grasp on my face melted into something altogether tender.
His fingertips gently brushed over the deep valleys of my old wounds as though he was trying to read my story. I felt him follow the fork from my hairline at my temple all the way down, bridging my eye, down my cheek to the point mid way along the lefthand side of my jaw where it ended. As he did so, I saw for the first time up close his own grisly scars which formed a sort of permanent smile. The makeup he applied over the top made it harder to see from afar just how extensive they were. I knew from my own experience that the wounds had been more than skin deep, into deep muscle tissue. You could tell by how raised and pitted they were.
The man holding me at gunpoint seemed not to have picked up on this sudden change of pace, as he had plenty to say, even if the joker didn't.
"I shoulda warned you, she's a butterface," he chuckled, "you should do the other side to match, I already made a start," he gestured to the split eyebrow and puffy eye he'd given me on my good side.
The joker's body language rapidly changed again. I felt him tense up, even in his fingers against my cheek. It was as though every fibre in his body was taught suddenly, like he was a rubber band about to snap. His eyes seemed to darken, his irises almost like black pools against the black paint encircling them. I was suddenly very afraid.
He looked down at my face with an air of detachement, his tongue flicking against the inner corner of his lip.
"Would you excuse me for a second, doll?" He grinned, before his smile dropped flat again the moment he straightened up to full height.
"Give me the gun," he comanded of his goon.
"But boss..." the burly man protested, before removing it from my back and reluctantly handing it over.
There was a deafening crack and the smell of gunpowder filled my nostrils as my ears rang. Some of the hostages cried out in fear and for a moment I thought he must have shot me. I stumbled on the stupid dress, falling to the floor with a crash, dazed, my ears still ringing as I rolled onto my side, preparing for my seemingly imminent death.
Unexpectedly, my vision began to clear and the ringing dimmed down enough that I could try to collect my thoughts. I became aware of another figure in front of me on the floor. Someone was roughly pulling me upwards, trying to get me back on my feet.
"Up you get!"
Suddenly, I managed to re-engage my muscles enough to stand, swaying on legs that felt like jelly.
"There you go, see? You're fine," came a low voice to my left, practically right into my ear. I blinked hard as I began to make sense of what had just happened.
The joker shifted so that he was stood in front of me again, and gripped a hand under my jaw so that he could look me in the face. He turned my somewhat vacant face this way and that, as though he was checking I was still in there.
"Whoops! Probably should've told you to stick your fingers in your ears," he wheezed with laughter, releasing my face and waving the gun around casually.
My lingering confusion was cleared up when I realised the other figure on the floor was his own man. The others looked on, some unfased, some clearly very uncomfortable at this sudden decision to remove him from the equation entirely. He had shot him point blank, I couldn't bring myself to believe that it was in reaction to his insults. Surely this was just some kind of mind game going far beyond my comprehension... I didn't feel reasurred, I definitely didn't feel flattered, if anything it just showed the true unpredictability of the psychopath in front of me.
"Right, now that minor... detour is over, I want you all to stay calm, while we execute out little plan," he comanded, gesturing to the hostages.
Two of his men forced grenades into peoples shaking hands, pulling the pins so that they were forced to hold on to them, or risk them detonating. They produced a roll of duct tape and wound it around each pair of hands, so there was no chance of them tossing the grenades away from the group either. The others continued to stuff duffle bags full with the cash from the registers, and the jewellery from the display cases. I cursed the slow response time of the GCPD, although there was never a gurantee that their arrival wouldn't cause more of a bloodbath, since so many of them liked to shoot first and ask questions later. They had far too lenient of a threshold for 'collateral damage'.
I was expecting to be forcibly handed my own grenade, but instead the joker gestured to me. The way in which he waved me over was completely antithetical to the situation unfolding around us; it was so casual, as though we were long-time friends. Not seeing another choice, I gingerly approached him, and he, losing patience, roughly grabbed me by the arm and yanked me closer to him.
"These lovely people can stay here, but, uh, you..." he lingered on the word looking me up and down, as he taped my hands together in front of my body, "you, are coming along for the ride".
"Why?!" Was all I managed to get out as he shoved me roughly toward the front of the store.
He laughed, sending a fresh chill down my spine.
"Well, we have an opening, consider yourself the newest member of our operation," he said in a congratulatory tone.
Before I could respond at all, my head reeling in total panic, I was being tugged out of the door with my arms feeling like they were going to pop out of the sockets.
#joker#the joker#joker fanfiction#heath ledger#dc joker#dc comics#batman#the dark knight#the dark knight joker#ledger!joker#ledger joker#joker x reader#batman fanfiction#nolanverse#gotham fanfiction#gagwrites
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