#0 morals and 0 redeeming qualities | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

edwinspaynes · 1 year

Note

bottom 5 tsc books and characters

Do you want me to get flayed open?

Books (worst to best, subjective):

Queen of Air and Darkness

Lord of Shadows

City of Fallen Angels

Lady Midnight

City of Bones (though I concede that it is fun and I do enjoy it. It's just one of Cassie's weakest books, which is GOOD since it was the first one)

Characters (worst to best, subjective):

This is hard because obviously I hate, like, Sebastian as a person. But I think he's a great villain. This means that I am not going to include him. This list is not going to be the objectively worst people in TSC. It's my subjective least favourite characters. So It's going to be characters that I dislike based on a wide variety of factors. I'll explain myself next to each of them, but note that I understand they are not the worst people ever (unless they are).

Zara and Horace Dearborn. Atrocious one-dimensional villains. They're awful people and they have literally 0 layers or redeeming qualities. I'm lumping them together because they're basically one entity. I'm comfortable saying that they're my least favourite characters on both an objective and subjective level. Kill them.

J*lian Bl*ckthorn. Censoring his name because he has actual fans. He had enormous potential as a morally gray antihero. Would have probably thought he was a great character if he had gone dark. But he's just an absolutely awful guy that cc wants us to love and adore. He and Emma are super codependent. He's a toxic dickwad. He drugs his disabled uncle. He fucks over a vampire who was just selling some pizza. I was deadass surprised when he was worse soulless. Cassie botched his execution by making him a Good Guy and taking away his complexities at the end to make him a Pancake Dad. Horrible guy, horrible arc, mismanaged. Also, we're clearly supposed to love and adore him, which I resent.

[Redacted because I do not dare, but if you know me, you know]. Literally 0 interesting traits. No real development despite untethered potential. Too popular in the fandom. Too obviously The #1 Favourite of the creator. Way too much content but none of it gives them substance. Not an interesting character in any capacity, and if you do not love the character, you are deemed the Worst Person. This character actively ruins content for me. I have their name blocked on every social media platform. I'd get along with them in real life, and I like them in certain situations, but please free me from the content and social pressure that they present.

(and 5). Charles Fairchild and Elias Carstairs. I'm lumping them together because I have the exact same feelings for both of them. If I were given the chance to personally stab one TSC character, it would be one of them. They were abusive to my fave and they deserve to die for that. But I can't say I wish them out of the TSCverse because I think they're necessary backstory for Alastair, and they helped to shape him into the character that I love and cherish. So I am happy that they exist as characters, but I hate them as people and very much have a personal vendetta against them. I would yeet them from the universe if they were real because it would spare Alastair suffering. I will defend my son with my life.

10 notes · View notes

lycanpunk666 · 5 months

Text

I love making the most evil characters ever. Like legitimately disgusting and morally reprehensible. 0 redeeming qualities

#tdmi #backstory villains! who permenantly shaped a character!

3 notes · View notes

anonymous-gambito · 1 year

Note

Comic Ambrosius has 0 redeeming qualities and it *was* a toxic relationship. The movie fixes that. Every single one of them is correct and most people who like the movie hate the comic because we're sick of abuse being called representation. Hope that helps.

Media made for toddlers is always there if you want something that has to 100% represent real life morals and is too scared that its audience will drink laundry detergent just because they saw someone do it in a cartoon, but not everybody has to be like that. I'm sick of creators being called evil abusers just because they wanted to explore barely there dark themes in their work. Cishet people get to be anything in media, but fuck forbid a queer character be morally gray or complex in any way, fuck forbid any queer story be anything but pure fluff pastel colored hand holding where everyone makes the right decisions always and whose trauma just makes them soft and sad and fuck forbid them be that too because even stories like that are still accused of being "fetishizing". Fiction is meant to tell stories, explore themes, including those about the complexities of a human's mind and experiences, not to be a reflection of perfect morality and perfect people meant as propaganda to get the masses to "behave".

I'm not saying this because I think it's wrong to like shows made for toddlers, or that people can't be uncomfortable with anything, but I loath the push for everything to follow this same formula, to conform to the same arbitrary standard. Horror has to be "cozy" because we can't have the uncomfortable-unsettling-things genre actually have uncomfortable unsettling things. Drama has to be easily digestible and trauma has to be pretty. The person with the most fucked up childhood has to make all the right choices, instinctively have all the right opinions and not be messed up in any way or else they don't deserve anything good in life ever even if they try to change and do better (unless they're completely woobified by the fandom, and hell if I know why it happens to certain characters while others just get completely demonized instead). So yes, if even ND Stevenson's work or cartoons like Steven Universe are considered "too much" and not "pure" enough, then fuck, what is??

#fandom (derogatory)#nimona comic #nimona graphic novel

11 notes · View notes

trashlie · 2 years

Note

hey it's the same anon as last time ^^ i'll try to stop by your inbox more often when i have the time and some thoughts to share. discussing these things is fun and you make such great points about the characters and the story. i'll be signing these asks with lil anon (like lil buddy 😼) so you know it's me. and good to hear! i hope you continue to get better 🥰

i get why you're invested in kousuke's story. he is, objectively, a really interesting character. it's unfortunate that people disregard him, bc understanding him is a key part of understanding the story. and understanding him doesn't necessarily mean having sympathy/empathy for him. like on a personal level i can't stand him and want to smack him with a broom lmao but as a reader/observer it's interesting to try and understand his motivations/actions, if that makes sense 🤞

oh yeah you're completely right about kou getting worse as the story progresses. his recent development has felt like watching a car crash in slow motion - tragic, but fascinating and you can't look away. if ily was a less interesting story, a character like kousuke (typical rich asshole with some redeeming qualities) would have had significant growth by now. but that would be such a cliché, right?

and sometimes i do wonder if kousuke is doomed by the narrative, or if he eventually will be able to break free from... himself, essentially. the thing is, kousuke's is trapped. in order to grow and change, he needs to separate himself from the hiraharas/this fake reality that's been constructed from him, and see his situation from a different perspective. but in order to even want to change, he needs to grow as a character first. which he cannot do as long as he's involved with the family. it's like a snake eating its own tail. nothing/no one has been able to get through to him yet, so i guess there needs to be an outside force (maybe a revelation) that breaks him out of this cycle, shatters the very foundation of his fake reality, or maybe removes his safety net. and i really wonder what's that going to be. like... even though christmas is coming up in the ily universe, i doubt he'll be visited by the ghosts of the present, past, and yet to come and then all of a sudden he's a gentler, kinder man the next day lmaooo idk what do you think it'll be that's going to push him towards (positive) change? i think it's undeniable that kousuke needs to crash and burn first, and then maybe he can build himself up from the ground. i really do hope that's what's going to happen eventually! he is (mostly) a victim of his upbringing/environment, so it'd be nice to see him make steps towards growth/healing/being his own person. either way we're still so far from anything like this happening so who knows.

re: nol and fear - wow i didn't make the connection that nol is also driven by his fears, but you're absolutely right. i saw him as someone mostly controlled by self-loathing/self-destructiveness/low self-esteem, but these feelings are ultimately rooted in his fears. thanks for pointing that out. such an interesting parallel between the brothers.

all the ways the brothers are two completely different people with similar issues are endlessly fascinating to me (i just love me a complex siblings dynamic). you mentioned that neither of them have that family relationship with their parents at this point, and i agree. however, i think it's important to keep in mind that a key factor in nol and kousuke being such different people are that their early days were completely different.

nol had a very loving mother who shaped him during his most critical years of development (ages 0 to 5). and i actually believe nol got his best qualities (kind, caring, generous, brave, funny, etc) and morals from nessa, not rand. also, the hiraharas hadn't poisoned him yet. the layers of pain and trauma came later. on the other hand, kousuke received a completely different version of care and was taught a number of really negative traits - that his wealth and name make him better than other people, that his family doesn't function like others do and that that's normal, that he shouldn't feel guilty taking advantage of people and situations, that he deserves to have everything he wants, that his sole purpose is to inherit the company, and - as you said - that love as a reward, rather than something he's inherently deserving of. no wonder nol was/is such a threat to him - he's competition, and there can only be one winner. how can this boy, a 'mistake', have received this "reward" (=rand's love (nol hasn't actually received it but kousuke thinks he did)) so easily, when he didn't do anything to deserve it? that can only mean that nol is better, that kousuke is in his shadow, somehow inferior. and that just contradicts kousuke's entire worldview. idk it's just. much to think about.

oh wow i wrote so much, sorry about that. btw feel free to copypaste this in a separate post under a cut so it doesn't take up too much space if you feel like it, i wouldn't mind! have a good weekend 💗 - lil anon

Lil' Anon, I love it, perfect! Hehe!!!

You are SO right about Kousuke, too, in that you don't have to love a character to enjoy them. In-verse I would not get along with Kousuke or even want anything to do with him lol. He frustrates me a LOT - but right, you can understand WHY a character is frustrating. You can become invested while knowing you would absolutely fight them lol. The thing about compelling characters is that, for the most part, they are the drivers of plot and story and if they aren't a character worth investing in, you run the risk of caricatures of antagonists, villains who fall flat and cartoonish. ILY certainly borrows from the truth that everyone is going through something, no matter who they are. That doesn't always validate what they do, but as far as a story and PLOT goes, it makes everything far more interesting. That's the main thing I want people to come away with, not just as far as ILY goes but media in general. Because it's fiction, there is no harm in enjoying an antagonist. Your plot and story wouldn't be as enjoyable if they WEREN'T compelling or intriguing. When I say Kou has become a character I'm very invested in, it doesn't mean I approve of the things he does. In fact, I root for him BECAUSE I want to see him grow, because I want to see if he ever takes the reigns on his life and comes to much-needed realizations.

Because you are right - there is a big chance that Kousuke IS doomed by the narrative. I've talked about this re: Alyssa before, too, in that just as in real life, there's a chance he may never come to the terms he needs to. He may never find his way out of his safety spots, may never try to leave what is safe and secure. That's what's so important about acknowledging how fear drives him - if he cannot overcome that fear of being uncomfortable, of facing disappointment, of being outside what he finds safe and secure, then he really can't make the changes he needs to. He won't have the opportunity to see himself in a way that might give him the perspective he needs. In general, growth requires courage. If we want to grow, we have to face scenarios that bring us discomfort, that maybe make us fall apart, in order for us to learn just how much we can take, just how much we can overcome. But Kousuke has never really been in that kind of position. He's had everything handed to him, whether or not he wants it to be.

I really like the analogy that it's like a snake eating its own tail; I think that really sums up the vicious cycle and why we've not seen him wake up to reality, why things seem to go in one ear and out the other.

Over on reddit I've been talking to someone a lot about Kousuke, too, and a thought we share is that not only does Kousuke need that crash and burn - I think everyone is in agreement about that! - but maybe something that can be a wake up call for him is his career. They made some really great points, too, I'll link to their response here, but we know that Kousuke isn't truly happy in his life and career. To him, we endure uncomfortable situations, or one's that aren't fun because that's life. We don't live in an ideal world, we have to do whatever we can to get by. But Kousuke literally could have his pick of anything in the world, couldn't he? At some point, when does he realize he's unfulfilled? The whole purpose of his career trajectory was to earn Rand's affection. At what point does he realize it isn't going to happen - if he's not already at that realization? At what point does the empty, hollowness set in? When does he realize he doesn't feel fulfilled because none of this was for HIM, this doesn't mean anything to him without Rand acknowledging him? And suppose he does get that acknowledgement. Then what? The quest is over, there's no higher goals, nothing more to achieve. Oh, sure, he can go on to be the CEO as he was born to. But would it MEAN anything to him?

I'm thinking - or hoping? - that this might be the kind of thing that gives him the wake up call. That there is no point in his life that brings him joy - except maybe eating sweets lol. But that can only be a catalyst. You're right in that a big need is for him to get away from his family, for him to exist outside of their reach, to lose that safety net.

I have a couple thoughts in this regard. Whatever Yujing is working on - likely an expose - syncs up with Shinae's graduation and Nol's release from prison. It clearly has to do with the Hiraharas - and this means Kousuke, as well. When she found out Nol had pleaded guilty, she'd been looking at an old article about Nol attacking Kousuke, which we've seen may not be what we thought it was at all, that perhaps it was Kousuke who attacked and Yui blamed Nol. There's also that incident Kousuke is so DESPERATE to hide, something Yujing knows about. It seems likely that this expose, this piece, is something that could taint the Hirahara name. Even if Kousuke was not involved in other aspects, this would end up affecting him, because a major part of his identity is that he is the Heir, so what happens if his identity is that he's the Heir of a dirty family? If it becomes known that he is not the ideal gentleman bachelor he's been made out to be? Is that enough to make him step back and see his family - especially his safety net Yui - in a new light?

There's also my favorite crack theory, that Kousuke is not Rand's son. Now, again, I don't necessarily think I believe in this as much as I enjoy exploring it, but there's been a number of little moments that feel like they could be foreshadowing - or red herrings lol. Suppose it was true, Rand isn't actually Kousuke's father. Aside from the fact that he's spent his whole life trying to earn love from this man, I think it would also be detrimental in that he'd finally have to face the unsavory parts of Yui that he tries to ignore or deny. The one pillar in his life having lied to him and egged him on to chase after this pipedream, reassured him that if he's good enough, he'd be acknowledged. Wouldn't that shatter him? Again, I'm not so sure if this is likely - it kind of feels overdramatic, but then again, the deeper we delve into the story, the more those kinds of dramatics start to feel normal.

At any rate, yes, I think he needs a wake up call that will make him see his family for what they are, make him see himself in a different light. And that's just the beginning! I really look forward to our big timeskip to see where we find Kousuke, if he's yet in a place where he can start making these changes to himself, if he's got a security network to push him to make those changes (and if he cares enough to do it lol).

Also yes, yes, very good points about Nol! Nol and Kousuke are definitely foils in that Nol had the kind of nurturing, affectionate childhood that Kousuke lacked. We've seen instances of Nol surrounded by peers his own age and we might be able to assume that, aside from being teased for having such a long name, maybe he actually got along with them? But also, because of the teasing incident, Nol had that safe space in his mother - Nessa comforted him and gave him a nickname to make up for the teasing. We've never once see Kousuke receive such affection, and I just always think about that little flashback where he's in the bush watching Nessa dote on Nol and then Yui appears before him without eyes. It's such a cold relationship, it doesn't feel like it was nurturing. She goes through the motions of being a mother, certainly, but that's the thing - the difference between mother and mom. Nol had a mom, Kousuke had a mother. And we can see that even when Nol was driven by fear, even when he was trying to distance himself, he couldn't help but indulge in those traits his mother passed on to him. He started to care about the friendships that weren't supposed to matter because he's such an empathetic person. He understands loneliness so well, how could he help but reach out to people he thought needed help? But Kousuke never developed those kinds of skills or traits. How is he meant to empathize with or understand people he was literally raised to see himself apart from. They're not like him, they are Other. Literally a formative foundation of the way he views the world!

Light and shadow plays such a role in the ILY universe. Nol is literally in the shadows, but Kousuke thinks that its him who is in the shadow cast by Nol, that he cannot let Nol shine, lest it drown out his own light. I think that really sums up the root of their relationship and their issues: Nol didn't so much want to shine as much as just share that spot with Kousuke. I think at some point he gave up trying to earn Rand's favor and instead sought out Kousuke who was in the same boat as him. But Kousuke thinks only one of them can be in the light and if it's not him, that means it's Nol - Nol who is so undeserving who hasn't put in the same effort as him. Isn't that funny? Kousuke literally was born into privilege, knows he is afforded things most others never will be, knows that he has things others could work for their whole lives and never possess. But he thinks it's Nol who has earned something without making any effort. The irony of it, man.

Don't feel bad about how much you wrote hehehe! I.... also cannot hold back when it comes to anything ILY so I'm delighted to receive equally long messages haha! Looking forward to more fun conversation with you, Lil Anon! And thank you for the well wishes! I'm going to try to make myself do more painting today! Fingers crossed (I am not doing the best job at taking care of myself this week lol I'm hoping some painting will help!)

#ILY Brainrot #I Love Yoo #Lil Anon #Kousuke Hirahara #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #it's funny how like.... Kousuke has been such a focus of all my brainrot posts lately LMAO #i promise that when I jot down my 218 thoughts it will be about OTHER STUFF #.....but also like... still really on a similar tangent so LMAOOOOOO #IT IS WHAT IT IS MAN #THIS IS THE ARC I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR #THIS IS ALL OF THE STUFF I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DIG INTO #Kousuke really IS a slow motion car wreck i can't look away from

4 notes · View notes

trans-leek-cookie · 2 years

Text

Thinking abt Norman takamori and he Sucks (which I won't lie I enjoy having east Asians who suck bad and have few to 0 redeeming qualities) but I can't help but feel like the traumatic nature of his backstory isn't fully looked at like... yeah being the fall guy wasn't A Good Thing for him to do but fall guys usually don't like. Benefit lol. And I'll say I def get like he pretty much volunteered but at the same time is he going to talk back to his superior officer? No???? Like even if he had morals he wouldn't bc that would fuck him over so hard and probably end his career or life. And I don't even think he was thinking "oh this is my chance" because. He just witnessed so many people die horrifically knowing he was thisssss 🤏 close to being one of them like again I don't think was actually trying to get the promotion as just going into panic mode and grabbing the last thing he was focused on (maybe now I can talk to Gust abt being promoted) and just autopilot asked for it. Like I think riva put it really well saying "yeah sucks that happened but there's a point you're making your own choices"

#Like tldr Norman sucks but I don't think this instance was him being pure evil I think he was reacting to a traumatizing and horrifying #Situation badly which. Jesus fuck I'm sorry that flashback just fucked me up like... That's HORRIFIC idk how to stress that enough it #Seriously it was like. Just such good horror but also (dying because I have specific extreme reactions to bad things happening at events #That are supposed to be happy or celebratory) Anyways fuck Norman but I do wish there was more stuff talking about how HEAVY that would be #Like. Now part of me wonders if Norman was ok with the memory altering not just bc it would finish the cover up but also like. As a way to #Fully repress that memory. God

0 notes

thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 3 years

Text

So I finished Gods if Jade and Shadow and it was a fun read. Very much a Fairy Tale, and I say that in a positive light.

[spoilers below]

I will say, I went through the tag on here and people were going on about the ending tearing up their hearts and I personally don’t get it. Like, it was a perfectly expected ending. Nothing shocked or surprised me about it. And that’s not a bad thing! Means the story was well constructed.

But idk guys. Cassiopeia is eighteen. I think it’s a good thing the first guy she fell in love with, after leaving a shit family situation in a small town where she was sheltered from the world, ended and now she’s able to go out and really live her life.

And honestly? Her driving off with a French Demon to New Orleans is so much better than being Persephone 2.0 but Mayan.

Things I liked:

I loved how Hun-Kamé was written. Definitely a well rendered god of the dead/underworld, I felt

The playing with Mayan mythology was cool and caters to my love of myth making and folklore

Traveling around late 1920s Mexico with Cassiopeia and Hun-Kamé was a lot of fun

The romance was understated and believable from Cassiopeia’s point of view. Totally on point. Personally don’t know what a god of the underworld sees in a sheltered 18 year old from a small town but idk I guess you do you, Hun-Kamé

I loved the bit at the end between Hun-Kamé and Vucu-Kamé with the mountain of resentment eroding away; that was a great scene

Here for the giant salamanders - actually everyone’s animal companions were great

Cast of characters was great - all the people they meet are fun and engaging

Well paced plot, it’s not a character driven book by any means so the plot needs to keep going and it does

I did like Martín’s hatred that Cassiopeia was the favoured grandchild even though Cirilo treated everyone like shit. Like that dynamic of “this old man is abusive and terrible but I still want to be his favourite and have him love me more than you” felt very real

The description of the gods was good. Especially the focus on their eyes and how inhuman they are, I really liked that

Things I didn’t like or felt could have been done better:

I felt that the world was underused. This is jazz age Mexico! There was a lot of potential and I didn’t feel as immersed in the world as I could have been

The plot was fun and interesting enough to keep me reading but it was entirely predictable. But, it is a playing on a fairy tale/old legend motifs so I suppose that makes sense from a narrative decision

I wanted more suspense and tension of whether or not they were going to succeed

Kind of wanted proper brujeria showing up more than it did (this is purely personal, not anything against the book)

Wanted more backstory on her father and also what the fuck her grandfather was up to other than helping gods of the dead stage coups against their twin brothers, as one does

Martín was a fine antagonist/foil to Cassiopeia but I felt he needed to be built out a little more.

Cassiopeia felt a little too perfect - her temper and her attitude never really got them into trouble and like idk I wanted more from her

I will say I like character driven things so this could just be a personal taste thing

My hot takes:

Martín, being a useless, cowardly, arrogant asshole shitweasel was, naturally, my favourite character and I’m rooting for him in Guadalajara. Go make that sweet sweet cash money and avoid your shitty grandfather

This was the best ending for Cassiopeia and I think her ending up with Hun-Kamé would have been depressing. She’s much better off with her new bff, the shifty French demon who makes bad jokes

The shifty French demon, Loray, is my other fave character

Vucu-Kamé did nothing wrong and he was right to stage a coup against his brother. Hun-Kamé, I do like him as a character, but he seems like a bit of a loser. Go reclaim the power of your former glory days, Vucu-Kamé, I believe in you

I forget if Vucu-Kamé got his jade ring back from Martín. If he didn’t I’m 100% sure Martín calls him up when he’s in a tight spot and is like “OH MOST GRACIOUS AND POWERFUL AND WONDERFUL LORD OF XIBALBA i owe Juan two hundred pesos. Can you uh…cover my gambling debt again?” Sacrifices a goat to him. Vucu-Kamé is like, “Gods fine. But only because you flatter my ego.”

Vucu-Kamé: what did I do to deserve such useless mortal servants?

Hun-Kamé: maybe try fewer coups in the future?

Vucu-Kamé: that has absolutely nothing to do with the bad luck of being saddled with Martín Layva as a servant

Hun-Kamé: yeah I definitely got the good cousin, out of the two

Cassiopeia is an absolute nightmare driver, no one can convince me otherwise. Loray regrets teaching her

Anyway - it’s a fun and fast read and I generally recommend it if you’re looking for a good, easy romp to read over a weekend or something

#books #lit #gods of jade and shadow #love Martín. what a little shitweasel #he seems like the most obnoxious idiot to ever walk out of the Yucatán and I love him for it #0 morals and 0 redeeming qualities

42 notes · View notes

h0nkz · 7 years

Text

people be out here rly stanning yashiro in the good year of 2017

#.txt #lms #boku dake ga inai machi #sdkhdfkjhg listen i have my fair share of bad characters i love but like #he is a child murderer sdkfjhgsjksfhg #jfsdhsfhg its weird!!#he has 0 redeeming qualities like at all #like i get how some bad characters have a good and bad side and are like #morally abigious #but like this man is literally 100% bad #he staright up is like 'i kill to fill the void in me'#jdghdshfkjgh idk its just weird #but i mean whatever #u do u i guESS #not tryna start any drama i just dont understand #then again i stan tsukiyama shuu so i rly shouldnt be speaking

6 notes · View notes

lunars-unpopular-opinions · 3 years

Text

Deadass don’t understand why people stan Lebetti. I don’t get it. Like yeah okay hate Rashta. I think you’re short sighted to do so but I understand people disliking her.

But liking Lebetti? She has exactly 0 redeeming qualities. She’s a brown nosing bitch who is just like her father in her desire for power. She treats slaves like shit, the bitch is chill with slaves, she treats her brother’s baby like trash for the sole reason that it’s low born.

Like cool. She’s nice to Navier I guess. Your morals are fucked.

I’m not saying you can’t like a nasty character. You’re welcome to like villains. But most people who like her seem to think she’s a good person. She’s not. Like her for being despicable. Like her for being heinous. But don’t sit here and try and tell me she’s ok actually because she treats The Fave well.

#opinions #remarried empress #the remarried empress #navier #rashta #lebetti

191 notes · View notes

tibby · 3 years

Text

definitive ranking of all of the trr gang’s parents:

godfrey: sucks for a lot of reasons but he committed the worst crime imaginable: being from england. 0/10.

king kyle maclachlan: yeah yeah his name is constantine but looking like kyle maclachlan is his only redeeming quality so. lame, royal, didn’t care about his kids, slutshamed mc, died the cringe and fail death of being crushed by falling rubble. 0.5/10.

regina: is this old bat still alive? genuine question. 1/10.

lorelai lee: fuck you for how you treat(ed) hana. 1.5/10.

mc’s mystery parents: either dead or just don’t care that their daughter moved to a foreign country, got married, had several attempts made on her life, had a kid, became a duchess and possibly a queen, had a movie made about her, and obtained several fancy hats. if it’s the latter then they have the potential to be the funniest characters of all time but if it’s the former that’s just boring. 2/10.

barthelemy beaumont: as a person with morals and a bertrand stannie, i give him a 0/10. however, as a lover of chaos and comedy, i have to give credit where credit is due and award a full 10/10. he committed regicide, pretended to be in a coma for two decades so he could do evil schemes instead of raising his kids, bankrupted his family on said schemes and then claimed it was because he kept trying miracle cures, decided to come back onto the scene by crashing his son’s rehearsal dinner and announcing that he was cured, blackmailed and kidnapped various royals so he could obtain custody of mc’s child, and his weakness is crows. say what you will about the guy but he’s committed to the bit. overall i think that’s like, a 2.5 or something.

emmeline ebrim: was fun until it turned out she was part of the evil cult and therefore everything she did in the past few books made her fake as hell. still a milf though. 3/10.

lionel nevrakis: shitty dad and can’t even do a successful coup, but i respect the feminism of taking his wife’s name. also i really like his scar. 3.5/10.

milf adelaide: objectively too high in this ranking given that she gave madeleine about fifty complexes and betrayed you several times, but she was the first milf in the series and she’ll always have a special place in my heart for that. nothing like an older woman who just wants to party. 3.8/10.

camellia nevrakis: shitty mother but sexy as hell and hated king kyle maclachlan. credit where credit is due. 4/10.

xinghai lee: the whole “unconditionally supporting his wife” thing would be nice if it was for anything other than allowing her to mistreat hana. 4.2/10.

landon ebrim: absolutely useless in every situation and kind of two faced but he doesn’t seem to be actively evil. mostly he’s just dumber than a sack of bricks. a solid 5/10.

annabelle beaumont: dead and hasn’t appeared in any flashback scenes so it’s hard to know, but maxwell used to be a mama’s boy which is good enough for me. 5.5/10.

bianca walker: much like her daughter, she’s really fucking boring, but she seems nice enough and apparently makes good coffee. also i know that she had “”fallen out of favour”” and it was their choice to stay in cordonia but ditching her children in a foreign country not long after their dad died is kind of a low blow. however it’s also pretty funny. 6/10.

hakim theron: loses points for being friends with king kyle maclachlan for years and not supporting ezekiel’s vet dreams, but overall a nice man who cares about his kids. also one of the few parents in this series who hasn’t tried to ruin mc’s life. 7/10.

drake’s dead dad: all the flashback scenes suggest that jackson was a cool guy, even if i don’t support his choice in career. bonus points for his untimely death kicking off the comedy of errors that is drake’s life. nice ass, sorry you died protecting nobility. 8/10.

queen eleanor: we only get her in flashbacks but she has yet to disappoint. cared for her son but also his ragtag group of besties, something her cringefail husband couldn’t do. will be heartbroken if we find out that she was up to evil shenanigans in the royal finale. kind of shitty that it took a bunch of idiots stumbling onto things for someone to solve her murder but cordonia isn’t known for being competent. the secret daughter thing was kind of wild and i sort of hope we never get any context for it. hope she found a better spouse in the afterlife. 9/10.

joelle theron: loves her children equally, loyal to mc and everyone in the cordonian crew, doesn’t appear to be part of any secret groups and didn’t play a role in any fail coups, cares more about art than she does boring royal stuff, total milf. would hang up one of her paintings on my wall. 10/10.

#playchoices

34 notes · View notes

daliaswhisper · 4 years

Text

why every single zodiac sign sucks + 1 redeeming quality

Aries:

- never met an intelligent Aries ngl

- very childish, even their humor is like that of a 12 year old

- even the more reserved Aries people I know have a bit of a temper

- nothing revolutionary has ever been said by an Aries, I'm sorry

- overall I don't have much to critique, I think you guys are pretty neat and I admire your drive

Taurus:

- how does it feel to be the boring mom friend?

- there's that stereotype that Taurus people only ever eat and sleep and it's 100% true

- surprisingly manipulative and gets away with it

- no protagonist ever is a Taurus and there's a reason for that

- never met a Taurus that isn't hot though

Gemini:

- member of the "no backbone" - club

- a whole other level of insecurities beyond that veil of confidence

- irresponsible, better not depend on them for projects of any kind

- wants to be liked by everyone too badly

- witty and charismatic

Cancer:

- whiny as fuck but what else is new

- too much of a backbone if that's possible?

- anger issues

- cancer men tend to be very manipulative

- I have a weakness for cancer tbh, I just think they're cute even though they're exhausting

Leo:

- attention whores but what else is new

- where do you all get your inferiority complex from, genuinely curious

- you were the bullies in highschool, don't lie to me

- they tend to become even more obnoxious as they age somehow

- surprisingly perceptive??

Virgo:

- I have never met a Virgo that isn't this 👌 close to an emotional breakdown at all times

- they're either straight up hoes or have a stick up their ass (sometimes they manage to be both)

- unless you're Beyoncé none of you have achieved enough to justify that subtle belittling tone you got going on at all times

- most likely to get killed first in a horror setting

- I love to drag them but I actually think Virgos are on of the best signs. They are self aware enough to know they got issues.

Libra:

- another loyal member of the "no backbone" - club

- do they ever shut up

- have never met a Libra (especially female ones) that isn't completely batshit

- they have the highest standards for other people but they themselves cannot do the bare minimum

- adaptable and charming

Scorpio:

- you guys are surprisingly shallow, I don't really get the "deep and secretive" - reputation

- vengeful as shit, they actually cannot let go of anything ever

- most Scorpios I have met feel misunderstood but the truth is that you're just unlikable my dude

- my theory is that you are unable to properly communicate so you fuck instead

- loyal to the core and I can respect that

Sagittarius:

- they are like Tyrion in terms of personality but without the intelligence and the wit (which only leaves alcoholism)

- most likely to choke on their own spit

- very superficial kind of intelligent

- a sagittarius that faces their problems? doesn't exit

- hilarious but at what cost

Capricorn:

- You guys are so bland that I am struggling to come up with anything at all

- you're described as this Mr Darcy like persona when in reality you're Catherine DeBourgh

- invented the term "morally grey"

- if Voldemort were a sign he'd be a Capricorn, change my mind

- good work ethic and I respect that

Aquarius:

- so obsessed with their identity, I'm lowkey convinced it's because you guys have no personality and forcibly need to create one

- make shitty romantic partners

- unnecessarily reckless

- emotional intelligence below 0

- idk your existence just amuses me and you make the best of friends

Pisces:

- I'm sorry but you guys are the actual worst

- every single one of you needs therapy

- they manage to simultaneously be sensitive but also emotionally numb

- president of the "no backbone" - club

- they're great for deep conversations

#don't take this seriously I was just bored #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #virgo #zodiac signs #astrology #astrology notes #zodiac #shitpost

227 notes · View notes