#...uhh i dont know... his character name

[frecklystars]

IS STEPHANIE HSU GONNA BE IN THE FALL GUY???????? HELLO????? WITH RYAN???? THE TWO LOVES OF MY LIFE ON SCREEN???????

[lucky-draws]

does anyone remember outlast.

[euphorajeon]

trippin' over, gettin' lost on you | jjk (m)

— pairing: jk x f. reader

— genre: fluff, smut | college au, slight coffee shop au (?)

— word count: 12.4k

— warnings: pov change after the first part (its kinda obvious.. i hope), sleeveless jk, jealous jk, like really jealous, side character yoongi, cameo jimin and hoseok, they work tgt in a coffee shop, boxer!jk is back to his nature (he's boxing again, at last), cocky jk (but he's hot so its ok), usual banter between jk and oc, also banter between oc and jimin, mentions of cuts and bruises from boxing, references to the movie Real Steel, uhh what else i dont rmb anything else this thing is GIANT for me, smut in the form of: kissing, marking (hickeys), making out, an attempt at dirty talk, dry humping, cumming in pants, hint at unprotected penetrative sex at the end (don't do this!). [pls lmk if i missed smth]

— summary: a visit to the coffee shop you work at rewards jeongguk not only with a cup of coffee and a plate of brownie, but also with something else simmering deep in his veins. a challenge is issued, and all hell breaks loose.

— author's note: okay first of all full disclosure i started this in sept 2022 and just finished it today ^_^ i tried to edit it as best as i could, so if you see any mistakes, pls kindly... ignore... thank you... ^_^ that aside, i also feel the need to disclose that this is only my second time attempting to write smut so pls.. be kind.. hehe. okay! i hope you enjoy this absolute giant baby of mine!!

masterlist | boxer!gguk masterlist

There’s an advantage to knowing someone for years. Jeon Jeongguk can attest to this fact from first-hand experiences he’d had with you throughout the many years you both have known each other. He’s seen you cry after you almost drowned when you were ten and you’ve seen him throw up his breakfast after drinking skimmed milk when he was twelve, where both life-threatening experiences had been deemed not serious by young-you and young-Jeongguk who used both experiences as means to roast each other. (Though growing up, your hands automatically grabbed the whole milk carton when grocery shopping with him and he’s never let you go within a five-meter radius of a swimming pool without his supervision.)

Years of friendship with you has also given him the advantage of being familiar with your likes and dislikes, from trivial ones like how you don’t drink coffee because it upsets your stomach to more serious ones like the type of boys you would date in your teen years. He’s never had a problem with the former, instead using it as another mean to annoy you (“You can’t drink coffee? What are you? A child?”), but the latter had always bugged him for reasons unknown prior to his big epiphany a little over a year ago. (Spoiler alert: it was the first time he came home with piercings on his eyebrow and lower lip, when he tempted you into kissing him stupid.)

Now he’s confident that the type of a boy you’d date would be someone who is handsome, tall, has a great smile and tattooed bulging biceps on the side. Add a lip piercing (and a fake tongue one!) as well and he’s sure you’re never going to look at other boys ever again. If you do, well, he’d just make the piercing on his tongue a permanent one, even though that means he wouldn’t be able to kiss you for weeks after. But as said earlier, he’s confident that you only have eyes for him alone.

With that same confidence, Jeongguk struts through the glass door of the coffee shop you’re working at for the summer, going up to the counter with a grin painted on his features. Said grin goes unnoticed by you, though, as you’re busy taking the order of the person in front of him. His lips stay tilted upwards as he watches you work, writing the customer’s name on the cup with your big, round, cute handwriting. Only when you’re done taking the order and the customer’s cup has been given to your coworker do you notice his presence, eyes lighting up at the sight of him.

“Hi, what can I get you today?” you greet him in your customer-service voice and smile like you do any other customer that has come before him. Jeongguk gives you an amused smile, making you chuckle as you key in his order even before he says it himself. He eyes the small screen in front of him that displays his usual choice of beverage, making a sound to stop you from ringing him up.

“Actually,” he says when you hum in question, “could you add milk to that? Make it a latte?”

“You want a latte?” you emphasize the last word, making sure you didn’t hear him wrong. “Like, with milk and foam on top?”

“Uh-huh,” Jeongguk confirms, leaning his elbows on the counter to stare at you as you change his order from an americano to a latte. “Can I also order you on the side? Look too good not to be devoured,” he adds, a sleazy smirk on his lips.

You scrunch up your face at his innuendo, his words hard to believe when you’re wearing a murky brown apron and a matching cap on your head. “I’m adding a brownie,” you deadpan. “That would be seven dollars.”

“You don’t want anything?” Jeongguk asks as he straightens up, hand reaching for his wallet to take out his credit card. “No coffee though, babe.”

“Nope, I’m good,” you answer as you accept the card Jeongguk hands you, swiping it through the card reader. “Yoongi said I can try the new menu in large for free! I’m saving calories for that so no sugar allowed for now.”

His forehead creases upon hearing the new name. “Yoongi? Who’s Yoongi?”

“Him,” you tilt your head towards a mint-haired guy who’s busy making all the drinks, hands skillfully moving from one cup to another. It’s a wonder how he doesn’t spill even a drop of liquid. “I’ll introduce you later but now you have to move, there’s a line. Shoo.”

Jeongguk gives you a playful pout as a protest but complies with your request to move, sliding down to the pick up counter as you greet the next customer in line. There are two people lined up after him, barely a line like you made it sound like, but he figures because it’s an hour before closing that you consider any amount above one person a line. He also notices that you and the mint guy (Yoongi, was it?) are the only ones manning the counter, so it’s not like you have any spare time to deal with him given the amount of work that has to be done.

“An iced latte and brownie for Jeongguk!” Mint guy shouts as he slides the drink and dessert on the counter, lingering for a second when he sees Jeongguk’s hands reaching for his order. Mint guy’s gaze trails up his arms to his face, eyes meeting Jeongguk’s confused ones. Recognition bleeds into his cat-like eyes as his mouth forms into an O shape.

“Kiddo’s boyfriend?”

The low baritone of his voice is unexpected, though that’s not the only thing throwing Jeongguk for a loop. ‘Kiddo’? He has a nickname for you??

Mint guy—Yoongi!—doesn’t take his lack of response personally, instead opting to turn around and talk to you who have just finished taking orders from the customers. Jeongguk can’t hear what words you and Yoongi are throwing around, but from the way you glance at him, it looks like the mint-haired guy is just trying to confirm the answer to his two-worded question directed at Jeongguk earlier.

Your response to Yoongi’s inquiry makes the guy give you double pats on your cap-covered head, triggering a laugh to come out of both of you. While Yoongi’s laugh looks like he’s teasing you good-naturedly, yours looks like a shy one if the pink dusting your cheeks are any indication. It prompts a scowl to appear on Jeongguk’s handsome visage, furrowed brows and clenched jaw. It is not in your nature to get shy.

As much as he wants to stay rooted to the pick-up counter to keep you and Yoongi in his close watch, he has to move his ass somewhere less crowded to avoid getting eye-fucked by the girl next to him who has been staring at his tattoos for the past five minutes. Prior to dating you, anyone who displays interest in his tattoos would make pride swell in his chest, an ego-booster guaranteed to make his day a thousand times better. He used to subtly flex whenever he caught someone looking at his sleeve tattoos, an equally subtle wink on the side if that someone is a girl he found attractive. But after dating you, he realizes that the only attention he wants (and matters) is yours. Now anyone staring at his tattoos with the intention of flirting or getting in his pants just makes him shiver in disgust.

Though, in this particular instance, Jeongguk admits it’s his own fault by showing up to the coffee shop in a sleeveless shirt. It wasn’t intentional, he just grabbed anything within reach when he packed for the gym earlier in the day, but the way he left his hoodie in the car is definitely intentional. He thought he would give you a distraction surprise by baring his sleeve when you’re working, but you seemed unaffected even when he leaned on the counter to flex his muscles. Which is weird, considering you never missed any chance to ogle his inked bicep whenever he’s boxing.

As Jeongguk plops a small piece of brownie into his mouth, he just realizes that your roles are reversed now, with you doing your thing and him doing the staring. His eyes never leave your figure as you ring up three more customers since he sat down, transferring plastic cups onto Yoongi’s never-ending queue of orders. He watches as you take the last two cups by yourself, re-reading the order before moving to grab the ingredients needed for the drink. Your hands don’t work as fast as Yoongi’s, the muscle memory not yet settling in, but Jeongguk can tell that your help is appreciated by the way the mint guy smiles at you while patting your shoulder.

When the orders are all done, you go up to the glass door to flip the sign so it shows the Sorry, we’re closed! side. A glance at the clock tells him that it is thirty minutes until closing time, meaning thirty minutes until you can get out from behind the cashier and into his waiting arms. He hasn’t seen you all day today and all he wants to do is kiss you breathless the second you get rid of that horrendous apron and cap. Jeongguk starts counting down from the thirty-minute mark, hoping time would tick by faster.

Behind the counter, Yoongi is still busy making one more drink while refusing your offer to help. It’s weird seeing your kindness being offered to someone that isn’t him, but Jeongguk supposes this time it’s strictly work-related as he knows Yoongi has been making all the drinks (except the last two that you did) ever since he sat down with his order. Though, it seems like the drink in his hand is not an order at all, because he gives the plastic cup to you instead of putting it on the counter for a customer to take. There’s an almost childish grin on your face as you sip on the drink, eyes lighting up as you shoot Yoongi a thumbs up. After you exchange some more words with Yoongi, Jeongguk watches as you skip happily to his table with your drink in hand.

You place said drink next to his cup of latte on the table before your hand reaches for his drink to steal a sip. “I just have to clean up and wait for everyone to leave, then we’re good to go.” You steal two more sips of the latte just because you can.

“Okay, babe, but I still want my latte, you can put it down now,” Jeongguk chuckles, watching you do as he says with a guilty smile on your face. But then your hand takes the little spoon that came with the brownie to cut a sizable chunk from his half-eaten treat, quickly plopping it into your mouth. “Finish your brownie so I can take the plate away to wash it.”

“Are you just here to steal all of my food?” Jeongguk jokes, no menace behind his words as he reaches up to thumb away a stray piece of brownie from the corner of your lips. “And you said you didn’t want anything when I offered earlier.”

“I didn’t,” you confirm, “stealing from you is just too hard to resist.”

Jeongguk would’ve continued the banter if not for Yoongi calling your nickname from behind the counter, signalling for you to get back to your job.

“Boss calls,” you say, sneakily stuffing some more brownie into your mouth. “Should get back. Bye!”

“He’s your boss?” Jeongguk asks incredulously, glancing at the mint-haired guy who’s still busy moving around behind the counter. “That young guy is your boss??”

“Yeah, I’ll explain later,” you wave your hand dismissively, turning to leave. “Don’t steal my drink!”

In true Jeongguk fashion, of course he steals a sip from your drink. He does it just to be petty that you won’t explain anything about Yoongi, but he’s also curious what the new menu tastes like. He doesn’t remember seeing any banner for a new menu when he entered the shop earlier, so he’s guessing it hasn’t gone on sale yet.

He scrunches up his face the moment the drink touches his taste buds, tasting the bitterness of coffee among the layers of other flavors. It’s not as strong as the americano he usually has, but he can still feel it linger even after he swallowed the drink. Definitely not the type of drink you’d order on your own, though, so why were you so excited to try this new menu?

Looking around the shop, Jeongguk’s gaze falls on Yoongi. You did say he was your boss, didn’t you? Could it be that this free drink is just a plot to use you as a guinea pig for his experimental weird recipes, knowing that you can’t refuse your boss? Was that why he refused your help earlier? So he could make the drink taste as bizarre as it is right now?

His eyes continue following your and Yoongi’s figures behind the counter, squinting them in distaste whenever he sees you laughing at something the mint-haired guy said. Your smile, your lowered gaze, your shy demeanor, all remind him of a feeling he thought he had buried a long time ago—the same feeling he got whenever you got a boyfriend in your adolescent years. Suddenly, Jeongguk feels fifteen all over again—a clueless doe-eyed boy who donned t-shirts in every color of the rainbow every day of the week and strutted like he owned the school just so you can see that he was cool, only for you to deny him of a Sunday together.

Those years have become a core memory for him that it inspired him to get one of his tattoos: Rather be dead than cool, because he realized the way to your attention was not by being cool, it was by just being himself. (Yes, the ‘him’ who showed up unannounced at your doorstep after two years and ended the day with you on his lap stealing all the breath straight from his lungs.)

Anyways, all of that doesn’t matter because currently, your eyes are not on him but on your mint-haired boss who’s busy grinning while washing some equipment. Why are you both smiling so much around each other? Do you have some kind of inside joke that’s so funny you can’t stop laughing? What is so pleasing about Yoongi’s presence that you keep beaming at him?

Jeongguk chews the straw of your drink in anger, not realizing that he has inhaled almost half of the cup’s content despite claiming that he hates the taste. Sipping on your drink has become an afterthought as he was busy analyzing how wide your smiles are while working with Yoongi and how friendly the shoulder and head pats you give each other are. It’s sickening.

Eventually, everyone else in the coffee shop left and you’re in front of him once again to get rid of the brownie plate from his table, whining when you see the half-empty cup in Jeongguk’s hand even as you’re chewing the rest of his brownie in your mouth. Fair trade, he says as you walk away with the plate and spoon in hand.

Not even five minutes has passed since you left his table, yet Jeongguk feels tired of being patient, taking your and his coffee cups in each hand before coming up to the counter. It seems like Yoongi senses his presence, because he looks up from the calculator app on the tablet in front of him to give Jeongguk a curious glance. Their eyes meet for a split second before Jeongguk moves his gaze past Yoongi’s shoulder to you, who’s still busy wiping down the counter. A knowing smile curves on Yoongi’s lips.

“Hey, Kiddo,” Yoongi turns towards you, the nickname still irritating to Jeongguk’s ears. “I’ll finish closing up, you can go. Great work today.”

“No it’s okay, I can help you mop the floor after I’m finished with the counter.” You don’t even look up as you wave him off, oblivious to Jeongguk’s presence and his increasing impatience in front of your boss. He clears his throat comically loud, making you turn around to see a frown etched on your boyfriend’s face and Yoongi tilting his head towards him with a small, almost teasing smile on his face.

“Oh.” You pull your lips into a thin line. “Okay then. Sorry about him, Yoongi.”

“No worries, Kiddo.”

Yoongi’s nonchalant response is laced with a chuckle, which for some reason, upsets Jeongguk even more than the nickname he keeps calling you by. Is Yoongi not scared of him? Of his tattoos, of his muscles? Is he not intimidating? Can’t he feel the piercing stare Jeongguk keeps giving him ever since he walked into the coffee shop?

“You.” Your stern voice tears his hot gaze away from the mint-haired guy, whose focus is back on the calculator on his tablet to count the sales they made today. “I’ll clock out first then we can go. Please don’t do anything weird in the five minutes that I don’t have my eyes on you.”

Jeongguk follows your figure with his eyes until you disappear into the backroom, leaving him alone with Yoongi. Yoongi, the guy with the mint hair, whose surname he doesn’t even know, who is your boss that strangely have an endearing nickname for you. Things that stream steady questions into his head, about your initial meeting with Yoongi to the extent of your relationship with him. It’s the nickname he can’t seem to shake off of his mind, the way it rolls easily off Yoongi’s tongue, as if he’s been calling you that for years. Has he known you for years like Jeongguk has? Been through near-death experiences with you like Jeongguk has? Has he deserved the right to call you by a nickname like Jeongguk has?

“You can stop shooting daggers at my head, you know,” Yoongi’s low drawl almost makes Jeongguk think that he’s talking to himself, but the sentence is clearly directed at him. The older guy finally looks up from his tablet to look at Jeongguk in the eyes for longer than a second, no coffee orders to complete to interrupt their interaction this time. “Kiddo’s boyfriend, Jeongguk, right?”

As Jeongguk gives a nod to confirm Yoongi’s question, a hand is extended towards him to complete the introduction. “I’m Yoongi, Kiddo’s coworker-slash-boss.”

Jeongguk grips Yoongi’s hand with more strength than necessary, unintentionally flexing his muscles too. He thought that would be enough to tell Yoongi that Jeongguk is your boyfriend and he has no business being so friendly with you, but Yoongi only glances at his tattooed arm before letting go of his hand with a comment about how strong his grip is.

“Thanks, I do boxing,” Jeongguk mutters curtly, upset at the degree of nonchalance Yoongi is showing. He starts glancing at the door to the backroom where you currently are, wishing you would emerge right this second so he can go and doesn’t need to face Yoongi’s mint hair ever again.

“Yeah, Kiddo might have mentioned that a few times, just like she won’t shut up about your sleeve tattoos,” Yoongi says, going back to his tablet. “I used to box too, by the way.”

If you asked Jeongguk what Yoongi used to do, he wouldn’t be able to answer at all as he chooses to focus on the part where Yoongi said you won’t shut up about his sleeve tattoos and tune out the rest of his sentence. “My tattoos? What about them?”

“She said you have tons. Shoulder to fingertips. That’s how I recognized you when giving your order,” Yoongi answers lightly, which piqued Jeongguk’s interest even further. Wouldn’t it be fun to use this coworker-slash-boss of yours to get information about what you’ve been saying about him at work? What else does Yoongi know about him other than he does boxing and has a sleeve tattoo?

“Really? Does she gush about how hot they are to you, too?”

It’s not a question meant to be answered, its sole purpose to show off that you indeed gush to him about how hot his tattoos are. Though, if one thinks about it, why would Jeongguk need to boast to Yoongi about the compliments you give him about the strokes of ink on his arm? What business does Yoongi have knowing about it?

Yoongi seems to be unaware of Jeongguk’s inner dilemma as his face breaks out into a grin. “I think she’d be mad at me if I told you half the things she gushes to me about you.”

So you do gush about how hot his tattoos are to Yoongi. Interesting.

The fact that Yoongi insinuates there’s more to that is both endearing and terrifying to Jeongguk, because while he’s giddy that you talk about him with other people with so much enthusiasm, too much of it could end up in you sharing something about him that you should not have. Not to mention you’re sharing it with your boss, someone you should keep at an arm’s length when it comes to sharing about your significant others. One wrong move and he could use it against you.

Jeongguk is just about to ask Yoongi to elaborate further on his statement when you step out of the backroom, now out of the murky brown cap and apron and in a white t-shirt that looks like it belongs to Jeongguk. All thoughts of Yoongi knowing all sort of things about him evaporates right away, his mind focusing on how cute you look instead. If only Jeongguk doesn’t know basic human decency, he’d pull you by the waist to taste the mouth he’s been deprived of for the whole day, not giving an ounce of care about your boss watching the whole thing.

No, he’s a good boyfriend so he opts to pull you by the shoulders instead, letting your arms go around his waist before squeezing you in his arms. The kiss he drops on your cheek is chaste yet lingering, like he wants to let you know just how much he missed you. You tighten your arms around him in return, wordlessly saying the same thing back.

“Ready to go?” Jeongguk mumbles into your hair, not yet letting go of the hug.

“Ye—oh, wait!” You pull your face away from its initial position on Jeongguk’s chest. “You haven’t met Yoongi yet.”

“We did, Kiddo,” Yoongi waves you off. “You’re free to go. Your boyfriend here has been waiting long enough.”

“No,” you say, pulling away from Jeongguk’s hold. “I mean I haven’t introduced you two properly.” You gesture to the both of them back and forth as you say their names. “Yoongi, meet my boyfriend, Jeon Jeongguk. Jeongguk, meet my boss, Min Yoongi. His family owns this coffee shop.”

“That’s what you mean by proper?” Jeongguk says to you as he takes Yoongi’s hand for the second time that day, regular grip this time because you’re watching his every move like a hawk. “I didn’t know you own the shop. Nice place,” he nods to the older guy, releasing his hand.

“Thanks. It’s my dad’s, though. I just help from time to time,” Yoongi shrugs.

“You ‘just help from time to time’ but willing to dye your hair mint in honor of the new menu.” You nudge his elbow playfully. “Speaking of the new menu, did you finish the whole cup, Jeongguk? I’ve only had a few sips.” You frown as you bring the cup to your eye level, examining just how much of it is left. It’s an exaggeration, obviously, as the cup in your hand is still half-filled. But Jeongguk plays along, saying the reason why he inhaled your drink is because he’s tired from having just gone back from boxing.

“You have your own latte,” you point out, finally taking a much-deserved sip from your free drink. It still tastes okay, so you stop grilling Jeongguk about stealing your drink (even though you kinda stole his too, in the middle of your shift nonetheless.) “Oh, and did you know Yoongi also—”

Yoongi clears his throat loudly before you can finish your sentence. You look up from your drink, alarmed, afraid you might have said something wrong. Your eyes meet Yoongi’s and he gives you a tiny shake of his head, one Jeongguk doesn’t notice because he’s busy taking sips from his own cup of latte. (And because he’s more focused on you than Yoongi.)

“He knows, I told him I used to box too,” Yoongi says.

“You did? I didn’t catch it,” Jeongguk averts his eyes from you, turning to look at Yoongi. “Wanna have a match? I could use an opponent for my session tomorrow.”

“I said I used to, Kid,” Yoongi re-emphasizes on the two words. “I have a shoulder injury. It’s healing, but I still shouldn’t do too much to it.”

“Oh come on, I’ll go easy on you.”

“Jeongguk!” A slap lands on his bicep courtesy of you.

“What? He said it’s healing!”

It’s only now that Jeongguk witnesses the exchange between you and Yoongi using only your eyes, yours looking frantic while Yoongi’s looking as cool as a cucumber. Maybe he should dye his hair a shade of green resembling a cucumber rather than a mint.

After watching you and Yoongi have a silent conversation for a minute, Jeongguk lets out a sigh as he takes the final sip from his latte. “It’s okay, babe, I was just kidding. It’s fine if Yoongi doesn’t want to have a match with me.” He throws the empty cup into a trashcan nearby. “It just means that he backs down easily from a challenge.”

You physically face-palm at his sentence, missing the way Jeongguk throws a challenging smirk Yoongi’s way. The older doesn’t seem fazed at all, instead letting a small smirk take over his features as well. “That’s not a really nice thing to say to someone you’ve just met,” he drawls.

Jeongguk shrugs. “Just stating the truth.”

“Jeongguk, please stop,” you whine from behind your hands, still facepalming because you don’t want to become a witness in case this coffee shop becomes a crime scene.

“Alright, I’ll have a match with you,” Yoongi says finally, tone resolute. You peek out from the cocoon of your hands, glancing back and forth between your coworker-slash-boss and your boyfriend who are having a staring contest, both refusing to back down. “Tomorrow after my shift works? Kiddo here can take the same shift so she can watch us too.”

“Sure,” Jeongguk agrees without a pause. “It ends at three, right?”

“Yep.”

“Cool. See you then.”

Then Jeongguk puts his arm around your shoulders, pulling you away from the counter to finally go take you home as it’s the reason he came here in the first place. You hastily give your coworker a wave goodbye over your shoulder, getting a wave back accompanied with a laugh. Jeongguk uses the opportunity to steal yet another sip from your drink.

“Stop it! You’re gonna finish it all!”

“What even is it? It tastes really weird.” Jeongguk scrunches up his face.

“It’s mint mochaccino, you ass.” You pull the cup away from him, who chases the straw with his mouth while grinning wide. “Stop or I won’t kiss you until tomorrow morning.”

“Always withdrawing kisses when I need them the most,” he pouts, retreating from your drink to let you finally finish the cup yourself. “Can I kiss you in the car or should I wait until we get home?”

(Does not matter what you answer is, because he grips the back of your neck in the car to make out with you for five minutes, and then finish what he started in the safety of his room, under the blankets.)

“Are you sure you want to fight with Yoongi later?”

You and Jeongguk are back in his car, on the way to the coffee shop for you to start your shift and for Jeongguk to get his americano to kick off the day. His nod to your question is firm.

“Yeah. My coach said it’s good to train with an opponent sometimes.”

“You could’ve fought with your coach instead, then,” you point out.

“True, but—” Jeongguk tilts his head, sucking in a breath. “He’s the one who trained me, so he knows my fighting style and pattern. It’s good indeed, but it’s missing that element of fun.” He drums his fingers against the steering wheel. “Besides, I want to know what your Yoongi is made of.” He casts a glance at you to see your reaction.

“What ‘my’ Yoongi, what are you talking about …” You heave a sigh, massaging your temple. It’s not even 9 AM yet but you can already feel a headache coming. Sometimes you wonder why you’re willing to date this childhood friend of yours, knowing all of his flaws and bad habits like this. Though it’s given you the advantage of being able to read between the lines of his actions, often you wish he’d just say things outright without you having to dig it out of him.

“You know, the Yoongi you work with? The Yoongi who gives you head pats? The Yoongi who has a nickname for you?” Jeongguk’s tone gets more annoying near the end of his sentence, almost as if he’s trying to get a certain reaction out of you.

“The Yoongi who owns the cafe I work at, which is the sole source of income I have?” you reply instead, refusing to give in to Jeongguk’s silent provocation. “Also, the Yoongi who used to box. I think you should keep that in mind when you fight him later.”

“Yeah, yeah. Bet he wasn’t even that good.”

You manage to arrive at the cafe unscathed, only losing a tiny piece of sanity because your boyfriend couldn’t keep his mouth shut about Yoongi and his non-existent boxing skills (Jeongguk’s words, not yours.) It doesn’t help that the Yoongi in question is already standing behind the register, greeting you with a smile and throwing a lopsided smirk your boyfriend’s way. You don’t like the thick tension between them at all so you quickly slip into the backroom to let Jeongguk be a big boy for once and order his own americano for the day.

Stepping out of the backroom in your mandatory work apron and cap, you’re kind of relieved when you see the shop is still intact, not thrown upside down courtesy of your boyfriend and his inability to control his strength (and emotion) in the face of a threat (read: Yoongi.) Upon seeing you, Jeongguk pushes himself off the counter he’s leaning against before reaching for your waist despite your boss standing just a few feet away. The cup of americano on the counter tells you that you took too long in the breakroom, which if anyone asks, you’d justify with adjusting your work attire. In reality, you just don’t want to face your boyfriend and the sour look he has whenever he so much as glances at your boss.

“You can always cancel the fight with Yoongi, you know,” you murmur, biting your bottom lip in worry. “You could hurt him, he could hurt you … it’s not ideal.”

“Hmm.” Jeongguk purses his lips. “What’s not ideal is your boss having a nickname for you.” There he goes again, always having something to say about Yoongi. “Aside from it being highly unprofessional, it’s also inappropriate since you have a boyfriend and that is me. Jeon Jeongguk. I am your boyfriend.”

“Jeongguk, he knows,” you groan, fed up with the back-and-forth about this whole Yoongi thing. You don’t even know why your boyfriend is so threatened by the older guy when he’s a whole lifetime ahead of him. “It’s not even a nickname. You’re just seeing what you want to see.”

Jeongguk’s reply never makes it out of his mouth as he’s interrupted by Yoongi clearing his throat, making you both look at him tapping on his wrist to signal the time. It’s a reminder that you’re here to work, not to continue the argument that sparked in the car. Your boyfriend rolls his eyes at your boss, sharing a hard stare with him before deciding to do something one should not do in front of their boss: dip down to kiss you, using your surprised gasp as a way to slide his tongue inside your mouth. In the five seconds he manages to tangle his tongue with yours, you completely missed the sound of the glass doors opening and the low whistle that came after, along with Yoongi’s chuckle and greeting to the person who just came in.

Shoving Jeongguk away by your hand on his chest, you try to cover your burning face with your other hand as an attempt to save your dignity in front of Yoongi, though you doubt it’s working at all. Jeongguk licks his lips then winks at you, squeezing your waist in his grip before stepping back to grab his cup of americano, now full of condensation sliding off the plastic cup. He takes a sip to taste test before scrunching up his nose.

“Could’ve been better,” he sneers, making you glare. “Alright, I’ll let you get to work. See you later, babe.” Then, after a second, turns to Yoongi to add: “you too.”

When Jeongguk disappears into his car, you put your head in your hands and let out the loudest groan known to man. “I’m sorry, Yoongi.”

The mint-haired guy only gives you a gummy laugh, eyes turning into crescents as he shakes his head. “Your boyfriend is really something, Kiddo,” he muses. “A really … fun early morning entertainment, you could say.”

“Entertaining it was!” You hear the voice first before you see the person, the one who must’ve come in when you were rather preoccupied with your boyfriend. Park Jimin, your other coworker, slides behind the counter in a brown apron identical to yours and Yoongi’s, just minus the cap. Good, that means he doesn’t have a bad hair day today and can take the position at the register instead of you. You could use some more time to learn to make the drinks, anyway.

“Didn’t know you and your boyfriend were such exhibitionists, Kim,” Jimin taunts you, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively. “Although, if my boyfriend were that hot, I would have wanted to exhibit him too…” He purses his lips in an exaggerated manner of faux thinking, obviously trying to rile you up. “Lucky you, Kim.”

“Shut up, Park,” you seethe through your teeth, slapping him with a dish rag while he cackles happily. “We’re not exhibitionists. You just have terrible timing.”

“Oh, it was perfect I’d say, just in time to catch sight of his tongue going into your mouth—”

“JIMIN!”

When Jimin continues making fun of you by making gross kissing sounds, you turn to Yoongi for help. As the oldest amongst you three, he must have a sound solution to get Jimin to stop making those awful sounds and put you out of your misery. Although, your trust in him is probably misplaced as Yoongi just chuckles and tells you something your own mom would tell you whenever you’re telling on Jeongguk: “Just ignore him, Kiddo.” The sacred word of ignore. “Go prepare the breakfast pastries now.”

So much for sound solution.

You go about your shift as usual, with Jimin manning the register like you planned to. Time goes by quickly when you’re busy working (and when your coworker is Park Jimin) that you didn’t realize it’s almost time for your shift to end. You glance at the line in front of Jimin and see that there are still three more people he needs to serve, while you and Yoongi still have about five tickets to finish before you can clock out and leave. Scratch that, might be eight tickets to go considering the workers who have their shift after you aren’t here yet. It’s gonna be a while before you can see your boyfriend and be a witness to an unnecessary fight between him and Yoongi.

“Hey, Kim, where’s your boyfriend? Didn’t you say he was gonna pick you up from work?” Jimin nudges your elbow when he finishes taking one customer’s order, sliding a plastic cup into the queue in front of you. “I want to see just how hot he really is,” he continues while wiggling his eyebrows.

Before you can slap the guy with your dish rag again—it’s looking more like your weapon rather than a cleaning tool at this point—Yoongi pipes up from his position in front of the sink. “Just look for someone with a tattoo sleeve. He loves brandishing it.”

“Ooh, a hot guy with tattoos,” Jimin whistles. “Add some piercings and I might steal him away from you.”

“Jimin, quit drooling over my boyfriend,” you sigh, taking the next cup in line as your coworker turns back to the register. He’s already starting to greet the next customer when you decide to give him a taste of his own medicine, sliding next to him to brew the espresso needed for the order you’re making. “He has one on his lip, but he’s mine. Note that, Park,” you whisper to him while he’s keying in an order, earning a light chuckle from the man.

“He’s just messing with you, Kiddo, don’t mind him,” Yoongi chuckles from beside you, eyeing Jimin whose focus is currently on the cup he’s scribbling a customer’s name on. “He has his eyes set on someone else already.”

“Gossiping, aren’t we?” Jimin turns to you and Yoongi with a sleazy smile. “Careful now, unless you want Hoseok to know about your hot boyfriend too, Kim.” He gestures to the glass doors, where Hoseok from the next shift just walked through. He’s a great guy, but you’ve only shared a couple shifts with him, so you think you haven’t got to the point of sharing about significant others.

With the mention of Hoseok, you and Yoongi move to finish the orders you have left before handing over the shift to the aforementioned man. When all your orders are done and you’re ready to head to the backroom, you turn to ask Jimin to go with you only to find him still rooted in front of the register. “Jimin, you’re not going?”

“Oh, I’m actually covering for Eunbi.” Jimin shrugs, sliding a cup into Hoseok’s line of orders. “Go, Kim. Have fun with your boyfriend,” he grins, sending you a teasing wink.

Hoseok, a clueless witness, looks at the both of you with a scandalous stare. “What, what, what did I miss? Why are you winking like that, Park Jimin?” he says, urging Jimin to elaborate while pouring drinks into a plastic cup.

“You should ask her, Hobi,” Jimin snickers into his hand as he turns to greet a customer. Hoseok turns to you, his expression hopeful that you will shed light on the reason behind Jimin’s wink.

“My boyfriend is about to fight with our boss and I don’t know how to talk him out of it,” you say through your teeth, giving an overly-sweet smile to a confused Hoseok. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to meet him and make sure he’s not gonna bite Yoongi’s head off.”

“Bye, Kim,” Jimin sing-songs, waving his hand to you. “Say hi to your boyfriend for me!”

You’re already walking away, turning to tell Jimin off when you bump into Yoongi who’s just came out of the backroom, void of his work apron and ready to go. He grabs your shoulders to turn you around, pushing you into the backroom to prevent anymore banter between you and Jimin. “Let it go, Kiddo.”

In the backroom, you catch a text from Jeongguk saying that he’s already in the coffee shop, ready to go when you are. You emerge from the room after clocking out, moving your feet to the dining area of the cafe while waving to Jimin and Hoseok behind the counter. Scanning the room, you search for a familiar mop of black hair that belongs to your boyfriend.

It’s easy to spot Yoongi’s mint hair amongst the sea of other natural-colored hairs. What’s not easy is believing your eyes when you see the person sitting in front of Yoongi waving wildly at you, grinning like a mad man. It’s your boyfriend, the person you’re supposed to see after work, the person you’re supposed to supervise when he fights your boss later, alright, that part you know. The part that you don’t know and have a hard time believing is:

Jeongguk’s hair is mint.

Not black, not brown, not the experimental half-half he tried in high school. Mint.

The exact same shade as Yoongi’s.

It feels like you’re on autopilot when your feet carry you to their table, jaw on the floor while your eyes are stuck on Jeongguk’s freshly-dyed strands.

“Hi, babe,” your boyfriend has the audacity to say, lips stretching impossibly wider. He reaches up to run his fingers through his mint hair, an act so deliberate even Yoongi sighs at the sight of it, but it makes your heart skip a bit nonetheless. “Do you like my new hair?”

The light green strands previously tangled with his fingers fall back to cover his forehead and frame his face perfectly, the light hue somehow blending well with Jeongguk’s skin tone. It also accentuates his jaw more, making it appear sharper when the grin on his lips morphs into a smirk once he notices that you can’t stop staring. Oh, that smirk. Usually hot with his previously black hair, it is now lethal with his mint hair, toeing the line of playful and dangerous at the same time.

You want to scream at the obvious and cheesy question.

Yoongi, the third person who’s been watching the entire interaction unfold before his eyes, clears his throat. “If you’re done eye-fucking your boyfriend, can we go now? I have somewhere else to be after this.”

“Yoongi!” you whisper-shout, half scandalized, half disbelieving that your boss can say something so crude in the middle of his own buzzing coffee shop. Maybe he’s been hanging out with Park Jimin too much. (Or maybe he’s just sick of you drooling over your boyfriend time and time again … yeah, maybe that.)

“Can’t wait to lose to me, Min?” Jeongguk snickers, taking your hand in his as he follows Yoongi—who pointedly ignores his taunting question—towards the glass door of the coffee shop.

You catch Jimin’s eyes as you’re stepping out, his eyes rounding in surprise before a sly smile takes over his features. Have fun! he mouths, giving you a wink. Ugh, you’re gonna face a lot more questions the next time you have a shift together with him.

After another futile attempt at talking Jeongguk out of fighting with Yoongi, you’re seated where you usually are, on the sidelines of Jeongguk’s gym, this time with heightened anxiety out of fear that your boyfriend and your boss could hurt each other. You’re worried less about the physical part—boxing is a very physical sport, after all—and more about the mental part.

Boys are full of pride, full of ego. They pride themselves on their ability to box, delivering punch after punch until their knuckles bruise. They pride themselves on their muscles, bulging biceps that took years to build and maintain. They pride themselves on their strength, how they are able to hold you up against the wall when you’re busy sucking air off each other’s lungs.

Oh, and in case it’s not clear, by boys you mean Jeongguk.

You have a lot of faith in your boyfriend, of course, but knowing Yoongi’s boxing skills, no matter how long ago it was, the outcome of the fight today could just be the one that would hurt Jeongguk’s pride. The possibility of it happening is so high that you’re already preparing yourself for when Jeongguk comes back to you with his ego bruised. God, you can only hope Yoongi won’t hit too hard.

You’re too busy thinking of the many possible outcomes of this fight that you don’t realize when Jeongguk is back from putting his gloves on and warming up, now standing in front of you. “Wish me luck?” he says, along with a toothy grin your way.

“Yeah, good luck, Ggukie,” you reply, lacking your usual sarcastic bite. Jeongguk seems to pay no mind to it, though, ducking down to peck your lips before turning around to face his opponent for the day.

You catch Yoongi’s eyes when Jeongguk has his back to you, quickly mouthing don’t hurt him! to your boss, which he only responds with a smirk. All the blood drains from your face. Looks like your worries about someone getting his ego bruised won’t be just worries after all.

When the fight has started (Jeongguk’s coach started it—you’re grateful he’s there because then you don’t have to worry too much about Jeongguk and Yoongi beating each other to a pulp), you can’t help but watch. You just realize, in the years you’ve known Jeongguk and watched him box, you’ve never actually seen him fight anyone else other than his coach. He’s said before that he only took boxing as a way to work out, not to actually fight, so you guess that makes sense.

You don’t watch boxing matches a lot (actually, you don’t watch them at all), your only knowledge of boxing you get from watching Real Steel, a movie about boxing matches for robots, set in the far future when human boxing is not interesting anymore due to the limited brutality. You’re not sure how much information you retained from the movie, and how accurate they are, but you’re pretty sure you don’t need much boxing knowledge to know that right now, Yoongi is playing defensive while Jeongguk is playing offensive.

Alright, you admit, you have no idea if the terms you’re using are right, but it’s the simplest ones you can use to describe the sight in front of you. Since the start of the fight, Jeongguk has been throwing punches continuously, while Yoongi has had his gloved hands covering his face the entire time. Okay, not the entire time, but he’s only thrown one punch compared to Jeongguk’s one hundred ones.

As the fight goes on, Yoongi starts throwing punches here and there while still dodging Jeongguk’s aggressive fists. You’ve never seen Yoongi move this much in the entire time you’ve known him, and it surprises you how agile he is. The way he ducks under Jeongguk’s arm and throws him off balance is admirable, sometimes a little bit funny (just a bit, you promise) because it shows just how calm he is compared to Jeongguk’s aggressive, almost-angry boxing style.

When Jeongguk’s coach declares a break, your boyfriend walks back to you with his brows furrowed, tearing off one of his gloves so he can remove his mouth guard and grab his water bottle. After chugging down half of its content, Jeongguk heaves a frustrated sigh.

“I can’t grasp his fighting style,” he grumbles to himself. His eyes are set on Yoongi, who’s on the other side of the room, drinking from his own water bottle. “Who the fuck ducks all the time while boxing?”

“Maybe it’s because you keep throwing angry punches at him, babe,” you say, initially to keep his frustration at bay, but instead it makes him raise his eyebrow at you in a duh way. You backtrack immediately. “Okay, okay. But it’s just your first time fighting him, isn’t it? Be patient, Jeongguk, and maybe let up your punches a little bit?”

“Baby, it’s boxing,” he says exasperatedly. “Someone has to throw some punches.”

“I know, but you just seem so … angry. Yoongi’s only ducking to dodge that. I’m saying maybe you can tone it down so he could stop dodging, so then you can see his fighting style better.” You’re saying this while gripping his biceps, hoping your words can go through his seemingly-clouded mind. “When you see his fighting style, won’t it be easier to figure out a way you can beat him? Isn’t that what you taunted him with at the cafe?”

You know it’s not even remotely possible to learn one’s boxing style just from a single fight, let alone “figure out a way to beat him”. Somewhere in his fogged mind, you believe Jeongguk stores this fact as well, he’s just currently too deep in frustration to place it in the front of his mind. You’re not even sure your suggestion to learn Yoongi’s fighting style is registered well in his head, considering your boyfriend is now back to eyeing your boss with fire in his gaze.

“Jeongguk?” You give his shoulder a firm grip as he puts his mouth guard back on. “Tone it down. Yoongi could just be waiting to punch back. You don’t want that.”

Jeongguk parts ways with you with an absent-minded nod and two pats to your head with his heavy gloved-hand. On the other side of the room, Yoongi looks ready to go back into his fighting stance. You sigh internally. Jeongguk is so going to punch him aggressively, again.

The next thirty minutes of the fight goes like a blur in front of your eyes. Jeongguk throws a hook that Yoongi dodges, Yoongi retaliates with a jab to Jeongguk’s side which makes you wince, rinse and repeat. Maybe you’re wrong about your boyfriend for once, you think, seeing his calmer fighting style now. With the way he left your conversation minutes prior, you really thought he was gonna continue raining punches on any part of Yoongi’s body he could reach. You’re relieved that that’s not the case.

Although, perhaps your relief came too soon because a boxing match isn’t over until it’s over.

Watching Jeongguk fight with Yoongi is like watching a cartoon character with an energy meter atop his head, except for Jeongguk, it measures his patience instead. As the minutes went on, you feel like you could see the patience meter above his head depleting until it’s all gone, and that’s the moment he went back to his initial fighting style: aggressive and angry. You almost pull your hair out in frustration because you just know that this is what Yoongi has been waiting for ever since the fight started.

The next thing that happens reminds you a lot of one fighting scene in Real Steel, where Atom was waiting for his opponent to run out of energy so he can fight back. In the movie, Atom knocked the other robot down with a final uppercut, gaining him a win and advancing him to the next round. Well, uh, in this case, just replace Atom with Yoongi and the other robot with Jeongguk.

Yoongi’s clean uppercut wiped your boyfriend out, who’s now lying on the ground clutching his face—which you’re sure is beginning to swell right now. Despite already knocking Jeongguk down, Yoongi is still in his fighting stance, never lowering his guard even as Jeongguk’s coach counts to ten. Your boyfriend remains immobile, though, and the second the count is up you’re running towards Jeongguk’s limp body.

“Gguk, are you okay? Baby, look at me,” you say hurriedly as you try to pry his arms away from his face. He doesn’t budge, and for a second, you’re scared that Yoongi has maimed your boyfriend for life. “At least let me know you’re alive,” you continue when his silence becomes concerning.

“Hmmph,” Jeongguk grunts. You heave a huge sigh of relief.

“Okay, good.” You run your fingers through his sweaty hair, trying to offer some comfort even though you know he had this coming. Gigantic ego, big talk, cocky as shit? Yeah, you understand that Yoongi would want to knock him down a few pegs. But now is not the time to launch into an ‘I told you so’ spiel, not when Jeongguk is still freshly bruised—both his body and his ego.

So instead, you lash out at your boss.

“I told you not to hurt him, Yoongi,” you snap-slash-whine, a frown on your lips. You thought, as the oldest among all of you, Yoongi could be trusted to knock some sense into Jeongguk’s mind without physically hurting him like this. As it turns out, all boys are the same.

The older guy just shrugs. “Probably wouldn’t get my point across if he weren’t knocked down.” He shakes the sweat out of his hair as he starts taking off his boxing gloves. When he sees you’re not impressed, he chuckles. “Relax, Kiddo, I didn’t even hit him that hard. He’ll be okay.”

“Really, Yoongi?” You roll your eyes. “You gave my boyfriend an uppercut just to prove a point!”

Yoongi just continues laughing as he chugs from his water bottle. His nonchalance about this is starting to piss you off. Maybe it’s your turn to put on the boxing gloves and sock him in the face, give him a taste of his own medicine. You scoff to yourself, picturing your own body lying next to Jeongguk if you really did that.

“Just tell your boyfriend here that there’s no need to be jealous of me, Kiddo,” Yoongi says, picking up his bag. Just then, Jeongguk’s coach appears with an ice pack in his hand, offering it to you so you can place it against Jeongguk’s swollen jaw. Despite your attempt to coax him out of his arm cocoon, he still refuses to move.

“Yoongi, look at him, you really broke him.” You’re flat-out whining now, kicking your feet like a child. It doesn’t even occur to your mind that you’re all still in the middle of a public boxing gym, with other people around you, being witness to this ridiculous scene.

“Oh my God,” Yoongi laughs before crouching down at Jeongguk’s legs. “Hey, Jeongguk, you hear that? Your girlfriend is worried about you,” he says, nudging Jeongguk’s leg lightly. “She only has eyes for you and your tattoos, too, you don’t need to be jealous at all.” You smack him on the shoulder for that.

Jeongguk finally removes his arms from his face at Yoongi’s words, his doe eyes menacing. “Go away,” he grits out at the older male, his scratchy voice making him sound less threatening than he intended. Despite that, Yoongi still holds his hands up in surrender.

“I’m going, I’m going,” Yoongi relents, standing up while adjusting the hold he has on his bag. “Was gonna go anyway, I have a date to get ready for,” he throws a grin your way. “Alright, I’ll be going first. Take care of your boyfriend, Kiddo.”

Yoongi retreats with a wave towards you both.

Jeongguk lets out a groan, shifting your attention away from your boss who’s already backing his car out of the parking lot. “Quit your job tomorrow,” he says. “I hate your boss.”

“Stop moving around!”

“It hurts!”

You’re both back at Jeongguk’s house now, with you sitting atop his outstretched legs on the bed, attempting to take care of his battle wounds courtesy of his fight with Yoongi. Aside from the swollen jaw, Jeongguk has a cut on his eyebrow and a split bottom lip. For a boxing match, you’d say these are minor injuries—proving Yoongi’s words right, he didn’t hit Jeongguk that hard—but your boyfriend is acting like a baby. He keeps jerking his head away every time the alcohol swab comes in contact with either of his cuts, it irritates you to no end.

“You have a goddamn full sleeve of tattoo and a lip piercing, quit acting like this hurts more,” you hiss, pressing the cotton in your hand to the cut on his lip as Jeongguk hiss back in response.

“At least when I got my tattoos and piercing, the artist didn’t do it while yapping my ear off,” he lisps through the cotton. “What happened to the caring girlfriend at the gym? Did she go away too, alongside Yoongi?”

“Oh, shut up, if I yapped back there Yoongi would’ve stomped on your ego more than he already did, do you want that, Jeongguk? Huh?” Your words are harsh, but you try hard for your hands to be the opposite, gentle as they cover the cut on his eyebrow with a band-aid. Jeongguk’s forehead is still damp from his quick shower earlier, beads of mint clinging to his skin. He might look smoking hot with his newly dyed hair, but the way the color rubs off on anything is starting to get onto your nerves. You wipe lightly at the color to make sure the band-aid sticks to his skin and does not come off the second he jumps around again.

“My ego is fine, you don’t need to protect it like this,” Jeongguk grumbles, adjusting the ice pack he’s holding to his jaw as you press a new cotton ball on his lip, discarding the one stained crimson red to his bedside table. “Maybe if you care about me as much as you care about my ego, everything would’ve been better.”

The way he’s rambling like he got his sense knocked out of his head as well makes you roll your eyes to the back of your head. “Don’t test me, Jeon. If I didn’t care about you I wouldn’t be here sitting on your thighs patching your minuscule injuries like they’re fucking wounds from a war.”

“Maybe,” Jeongguk half-agrees, a pout on his lips. “But you haven’t kissed me even once ever since the fight ended. Do I not deserve a kiss because I lost? Do you not want to kiss me ever again because I can’t beat Yoongi in boxing? Do you think Yoongi is way better than me now? Do you want him to be your boyfriend instead of me?”

With every nonsensical question, his pout deepens, and his eyes droop to stare blankly at nothing.

“Hah, ‘my ego is fine’ my ass,” you mumble, mostly to yourself as you turn the gears in your head on how to stop the bleeding on Jeongguk’s lip. It keeps gushing out blood, and you can’t exactly stick a band-aid to it like you did his eyebrow. At last, you just hold a cotton ball against it and hope it stops bleeding soon.

“Yoongi was right, you know,” you say clearly now, the tumble of Yoongi’s name out of your lips making Jeongguk glance up and focus his sight on your face. “You don’t need to be jealous of him at all. Heck, you don’t need to be jealous of anyone, Jeongguk. I’m your girlfriend and will always stay your girlfriend, no matter what. You don’t need to beat anyone in boxing or dye your hair the exact same shade as anyone for me to stay. You, Jeon Jeongguk, are enough.”

Jeongguk’s eyes, gazing into yours, are glassy with unshed tears. You don’t know if they are there because he’s touched by your words or are leftovers from crying over his bruised ego from the fight with Yoongi. Either way, it throws you off balance. Next thing you know, you’re being tugged down by the nape for a kiss.

Jeongguk’s lips are warm, like usual, but the tinge of metal you taste on your tongue is making you worry. Before you lose yourself in his kiss, you pull away to thumb at his lip lightly, seeing streaks of red on your skin. You’re about to continue pressing the cotton ball in your hand to his lips and stop all forms of kissing immediately, but your boyfriend has a mind of his own as he instead sucks your thumb into his mouth, wrapping his lips around the digit delicately as he holds eye contact with you.

Gone is the trace of any tears from his eyes, now replaced by something you can only identify as lust. As flattered as you are that Jeongguk finds you desirable in your current situation, it also makes you confused. He’s hurt and the only thing in his mind is getting his dick wet? Unbelievable.

The ice-cold feeling on your waist tears your attention away from Jeongguk’s dark eyes as you yelp, hand instinctively prying the cold thing away. The ‘thing’ turns out to be his hand, which was previously holding the ice pack to his swollen jaw. He’s sneaked his fucking cold hand under your shirt to hold your waist when he should’ve kept holding the ice pack to his jaw—his swollen jaw!

Your boyfriend has a swollen jaw, a busted lip and a cut eyebrow. This is not the time to be screwing around.

Pulling away your thumb out of Jeongguk’s mouth at the speed of light, you attempt to climb off his lap, but he’s read your mind even before they are conjured up in your own brain. His hands are back on your waist—yes, the cold one too—and they hold you firm in place. The side of Jeongguk’s lips turn up into a sickeningly sweet smile, before he tugs your body towards his, making your hips come in contact with his crotch. He’s hard. Oh, fuck.

“You know, I never really understood why you’re so bratty whenever you’re horny and I can’t tend to you right away, but I think I get it now,” he says right by your ear, making a shiver run down your spine. “I’ve been trying to will away my boner ever since you sat on my lap, but your weight on it is so damn distracting, it’s hard.”

“So,” he punctuates the word with a kiss on your neck, “I started saying anything to get my mind off it, but the way you care for me just … turns me on even more, if that was even possible.” He noses his way down your throat, coming to a stop at your collarbone. “And then all that talk about how I am enough … holy shit, I lost it. All I could think about was how I want to kiss you and fuck you into next week on this very bed.”

You can barely hear the last few words Jeongguk is saying, because he’s mumbling them into your skin as he peppers kisses and nips there. His fingers are now pressing into your back, pulling you closer and closer to him until there is no space left between you. You crane your neck so he can have more room to splash reds and purples onto your skin, sighing to the top of his mint head.

“You know, for someone claiming to be horny, you’re doing a terrible job at dirty talk,” you jab at your boyfriend, earning you a bite on your neck and a tightened grip on your body, making you close your eyes with stuttered breath.

“Easy, babe,” Jeongguk chuckles. “You talk as if you won’t be a moaning mess by the end of this,” he continues with much confidence. “But also, my lip is still kinda bleeding and my sides are still throbbing from the bruises. Kinda debating should we continue or just go to sleep.”

“Jeon Jeongguk I swear to God if you leave me high and dry—”

“Maybe you should kiss them better,” he cuts you off with a suggestion, his lips still trailing butterfly kisses on your neck and collarbone. The hands still on your back sneakily climb up and up until they’re reaching for the clasp of your bra, easily opening it to free your breasts from its confines. Your sound of protest gets stuck in your throat as a strangled moan comes out instead when Jeongguk massages your breasts tenderly with his fingers.

“Maybe I would—fuck—if you get rid of your shirt,” you say, tugging on the offending piece of fabric still covering your boyfriend’s gorgeous body. It’s not fair that he’s got you half naked already and he’s still fully clothed.

Jeongguk parts himself from your body long enough to tug his t-shirt off from the back of his neck in one smooth motion, exposing the golden expanse of his skin to your hungry eyes. If you thought his mint hair was smoking hot with his shirt on, it’s literally burning a flame of desire deep in your belly with his shirt off. You’re tongue-tied as you marvel at the sight in front of you, you almost jump when your own shirt and bra are taken off your body.

Now both bare from the waist up, Jeongguk wastes no time leaning back in for a kiss on the mouth, this time open-mouthed so he can slide his tongue inside. You keen happily, slipping a sigh in between as he slowly lowers you to the bed. Jeongguk anchors his hands on your hips, teasing at the waistband of your sweatpants as he keeps your mouth busy with his own. In contrast, your hands are everywhere, from his broad shoulder to his firm back, from his bulging biceps to his rock-hard abs. You even tease your fingers past his waistband, grabbing onto his ass and squeezing, making him groan hotly into your mouth. It’s only when your fingers brush against his sides that he winces, reminding you of his earlier request.

“Flip around,” you whisper against his lips, “so I can kiss your bruises better.”

“Hmm?” Jeongguk hums, your words a murmur in his head. “But I like having you like this. Under me, naked, panting, wet,” he says, slipping his hand beyond your sweatpants to prove his words right—you’ve soaked through your panties. He drags a finger slowly up your center. You shudder.

“Yeah? I can be naked, panting, and wet on top of you as well.”

“Ooh, tempting.” Jeongguk licks his lips. He flicks your clit with a cheeky smile dancing on his lips, before settling his hands back on your waist. “Alright, I’ll flip over.”

The next second, you’re staring at him from up top, admiring how his mint hair looks against his dark grey bed sheets. Although, his hair is the least of your concern right now, as you’re tugged back down for another bruising kiss. Now that you’re on top, Jeongguk takes the opportunity to return the favor that is slipping his hand into your pants to squeeze your ass, but his version involves pulling your hips down while his thrusts up, creating a delicious friction between your body that makes you exhale a moan into his mouth.

You move away from his lips, down to his jaw where you take care to land a kiss light as a feather, before moving to his neck and collarbone where you have your own share of bites and licks. Aside from your infatuation with his tattoos and biceps, you actually have another one with his collarbone, this one you keep secret from him lest he goes around the house shirtless more often just to brandish his clavicle. But maybe he’s already noticed from the way you always make sure to cover that body part of his in blooms of red and purple, taking care to trace each and every bite mark slowly with the tip of your tongue.

While you’re busy with his collarbone, Jeongguk keeps dragging your crotch steadily over his, like he can’t get enough of the feeling and wants to keep chasing it. The delicious pressure on your center is a bit distracting, so you smooth your palm across his chest to pinch at his nipple in warning. Jeongguk lets out a broken whine from his throat.

“Stop humping into me, do you want to cream your pants?” you chide, fingers still giving tiny pinches to his nipple to keep him on his toes.

“Was trying to get you to cream your pants,” Jeongguk grins guiltily, his hips snapping up yet again to collide with yours. Even if you roll your eyes at his antics, you still continue your journey of kissing down his body, making sure to suck and lick on his sensitive nipples. You love the moans and groans that slip out of his throat every time you do things to his nipples. He likes it so much that his hips keep chanting up, searching for friction, that you have to pin them down so you can slide down to pepper kisses on his abs and waist.

Jeongguk works really hard to maintain the body he has, clearly evident in the eight pack he’s sporting on his stomach and the tiny, minuscule waist that’s way too slutty for a man to have. Sometimes you’re jealous of how nice his body looks, how firm it is to touch. You told him this one time, along with your regret that you couldn’t give him a similar experience, but he’d only laughed and said that admiring and appreciating him was enough, before proceeding to show you how he admires and appreciates your soft body (he kept biting into your inner thigh as he was eating you out, coaxing you into four orgasms back to back that day.)

And so, you admire his body by kissing the taut muscle one by one, tracing the lines outlining them with your hot tongue, caressing his bruised waist with the pillow of your lips and the feather of your touch. You know he’s hurt, but you can’t hold yourself from nipping on his slutty waist, gifting him another bruise that’s not a result of a punch. From the choked sob that rips out of his throat and the jump of his dick somewhere on your stomach, you take it he likes the bite.

“So,” you say as you mouth at the seam of his waistband, hand massaging his hard cock through his pants. “Do you want to cum in your pants, in my hand, in my mouth, or—?”

“Fuck, in you, please,” Jeongguk begs, eyes glassy from your ministrations. “But can we go back to dry humping for a while? Kinda like the friction on my sweatpants,” he breathes.

“Like this?” You move your hand up and down his cock, dragging the material of his sweatpants with it, paying special attention to the head. With every rub of the sweatpants against his head, a bead of precum comes out, with Jeongguk throwing his head back in silent pleasure. “Yeah, fuuck, that feels good.”

“But babe, want you, on top,” he demands, making grabby hands at you. “Was serious when I said I wanted you to cum first,” he continues, sighs in content when you oblige, resuming your position on top of him and lining your clothed crotch with his. He starts dragging your hips against his, building the pleasure up the faster he goes. “Want to fuck your swollen pussy, dripping with cum. Oh, I’ll slide right in, no problem, so wet, warm … fuuuck.”

The grip Jeongguk has on your hips is bruising, you have no choice but to let your body be manhandled by him. Slowly but surely, the band inside your stomach begins to tighten as your hold on his shoulders does as well. You’re so close, just one more move to tip you over the edge. When Jeongguk sucks one of your nipples into his mouth, the band inside you snaps and you come with a jerk of your hips and a whine from your throat.

Jeongguk slows down his move, taking care not to cum before being inside you, before stopping altogether and wrapping his arms around you to bring the both of you into a sitting position. Your limbs feel like jelly, still trying to come down from your high, when Jeongguk pecks your cheek before carefully lying you back down on the bed with your face down. He then maneuvers himself behind you, lifting your hips off the bed. You’re starting to have an idea what position he wants you in when he spreads your knees and slowly peels back your pants and panties to reveal your bare ass and pussy.

He takes his time caressing the globe of your ass, inching his fingers towards your pussy lips before spreading them apart, tearing a low whine from your chest. You guess he’s admiring the way cum still drips out of your cunt, because he’s silent, immobile for almost a minute.

“Gguk…” you whisper out. “You gonna fuck me or not?”

Jeongguk scrambles to get his pants off. “Fuck, yes, of course, baby, you just look so beautiful like this, I want to stare all day long,” he breathes, lining up his dick with your entrance.

God, I’m so thankful you’re mine, is his last warning before he slides home in one thrust.

Later, when you’re both freshly showered and cuddling on Jeongguk’s bed—with blue bed sheets this time, because you forced him to change the sheets as the grey ones smelled gross after your activities—you ask him a question.

“Are you still jealous of Yoongi?”

There’s a three second pause before Jeongguk’s answer comes. “Maybe a tiny bit,” he says, nearly connecting his thumb and forefinger together in a ‘tiny’ motion. “Of his boxing skills only. Amazing how he could still move like that with an injured shoulder. I want to be like that too.”

“You want to injure your shoulder?”

He gives you a flat look. You giggle.

“His shoulder is actually healed, you know, so he’s still actively boxing until now. He trains the boxing club at my campus whenever our coach can't, that’s where I know him from and how I’d gotten the job at his cafe.”

Jeongguk purses his lips. “So he lied to me.”

“Hmm,” you agree. “I figured it was to ‘teach you a lesson’, that’s why I asked him not to hurt you before your fight. Did you, though? Learn your lesson?”

“What? To not be jealous of him?”

You pinch his waist. “To knock your ego down a peg and stop feeling insecure whenever I interact with other men?”

“Baby, the guy had a nickname for you. My insecurities were valid!”

“You mean the ‘Kiddo’ one?” you ask. Jeongguk nods. “He calls Jimin Kiddo. He calls Eunbi Kiddo. He calls you Kiddo. He calls everyone younger than him, Kiddo.”

More silence ensues.

“So … my jealousy was for nothing?”

“Yes! What I’ve been saying!”

Jeongguk giggles. Then he kisses you. Then he giggles again, while still kissing you.

“How about an apology?” he offers.

“In what form?” you challenge.

“Round three?”

“No.”

Well, at least he’s not jealous anymore.

a/n: thank you for reading!! please let me know what you think of this, i literally almost cried in the process of writing it and when i finally finished it :') and yes this started because of that one mint jeongguk in memories 2020/2021, i think? the one with him in a black sleeveless and a pair of sunglasses, hahah. wish he'd dye his hair mint again (he looks rly good in it ugh)

→ request is open for my 1k folls celebration!

[freaksun]

eddie doesnt let anyone touch his hair. ever.

it reminds him of his late mother, who had the same gorgeous untamed curls. She used to comb his hair when he was little, being ever so gentle and taking her time brushing out the knots.

his father made him feel less-than for just about everything about him, including his gorgeous mane. Called him awful names and always told him to ‘cut that fairy shit’ when it grew too long.

so, ever since she passed, and his father went to jail, hes been growing it.

unfortunately, she never taught him how to take care of it, she’d always just do it herself. So, he doesnt put product in it, he doesnt cut it, he doesnt even brush it. And, stubborn as his mama, he doesnt let anyone else touch it either.

then you come along, happy and sweet, always loving to everyone. he falls in love with you so fast he hardly even notices. you certainly dont either.

one hot summer day you’re both in his room, you on his bed, him pacing, frantically explaining some sort of nerdy campaign idea. you dont know, you havent been listening for a while, too distracted by the way he keeps wiping sweat from the back of his neck. you cut him off rudely, he doesnt mind

“hey eddie?”

“sweetheart?”

“whens the last time you got a haircut?”

he freezes, silent, which is very out of character, dude never shuts up.

“uhh. like a few years ago. why?”

its your turn to be quiet, suddenly all coy. he finds you absolutely adorable as you stare at his floor, trying to find a way to ask him without startling him. as if he were some wild animal, which, he basically is.

“just.. immm noticinggg its kinda matted in the back…”

you try to sound the least accusing as you can. he doesnt seem offended but you can tell hes thinking.

“well, yeah, i. i guess i just havent touched it since. well my mom used to do it for me”

you feel like an ass, touching on something you shouldnt have, making him all quiet and sad. you backtrack.

“jesus, eddie, im sorry i didnt mean to-“

“its okay angel, i know”

he sits next to you. you give him a nervous smile, still sweet, hesitantly reaching for his curls. you can tell he’s hesitant too, but he nods, granting you permission. you take a single strand between your fingers, twirling it.

“Its so pretty, eds. ..would you let me? take care of it, i mean?”

hes scared. but youre so sweet and youre asking so nicely. a part of him is scared if he lets you, he loses another part of his mom. but the other part is staring into your eyes and seeing nothing but genuine affection.

“i.. i guess you could.. try.”

his heart pounds in his chest. You absolutely beam, thanking him immediately and bouncing around the room, looking for a brush. he laughs, shaking his head. you watch as he rummages through his closet, before handing you a light pink brush. you think about teasing him for it but he already looks vulnerable. you smile sweetly instead, taking it from him.

“sit” you point with the brush. he does as you say, running his hands up and down his thighs in a self soothing motion.

“its okay eds, you dont have to be nervous.. ill be gentle i promise” he gives you an unconvincing smile. you return with a guilty one, downturned. you kneel in front of him, in between his knees, brushing his bangs with your fingers.

“we can stop whenever you want, okay?” his cheeks are bright red as he nods timidly

you move to sit behind him, and run your hands through his curls gently, admiring it. you take a part, hold it at the root, and brush gently.

“that feel okay? tell me if it hurts” ever so sweet.

“mm-hm” you can feel his nervousness. “you- you remind me of her, y’know”

youre pretty taken aback, but honoured nonetheless. you keep brushing through the mattes in his hair as you talk.

“Yeah? Wanna tell be about her?” youre not sure if its the right thing to say, but you figure he probably hasnt talked about her in a long time. you can practically feel his energy shift.

“she was sweet. loving and kind to everyone, like you.” you both smile. “and she was pretty. beautiful. i really miss her.” you stop, rub his back a little.

“i can only imagine.. im sorry eddie.” he turns to face you, smiling.

“s’alright sweetheart. thanks for letting me talk about her” he hugs you. you hug him back, tight.

“hows the ole hair going?” He asks when he pulls back, a joking tone to lighten the mood.

“good!!! ive gotten the mattes outta this chunk here, it looks good. your hair is really beautiful, eds” youre ecstatic and it travels to him.

“thank you. my mom had the same hair.” he smiles, turning back around to let you continue.

“i bet she was really gorgeous.” youre extra-extra gentle. He keeps talking and you keep working. He tells you about how she smelled, the softness of her voice, his favourite memories with her. he tells you about the last time he saw her. he tells you all the things hes been holding inside, everything he never got to tell anyone, never trusted anyone enough. and when hes done, his hair is untangled and soft.

you smile proudly, running your hands through his hair, marveling at your work.

“its done” he whips around, looking at you with wide excited eyes

“really??” you nod, smiling wide. he runs over to the bathroom to see for himself. You stand behind him, peeking over his shoulder in the mirror. Hes surprised, looks like he might even cry. you wrap your arms around him, leaning your head against his arm.

“do you like it? Its a little poofy, but you can wash it out and it’ll look be-“ he cuts you off by turning around and hugging you. he hugs you tight, lifting you up.

“thank you.” you can tell he really means it.

[pixxiies]

— WHEELS ON

THE BUS . 𓂃 ㅤ۫ ㅤ⊹

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︴﹒ warnings ; smut (obvii), p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it up buddy), pet names (baby and angel), highschool au (characters are 18+), first person pov, y/n is used like once, degradation if you squint, lowercase intended, public sex, and praise

︴﹒ summary ; theres a field trip and theres not that much space on the bus so reader sits on chris’ lap and it leads to smth (i HATE doing summarys)

︴﹒ paring ; switch!chris x switch!reader

︴﹒ haven’s notes ; IM BACK!! sorry for not writing in a while i have been busy w school 😞😞 also are u guys interested for a part 2 for make it up?? i might scrap it but idkk 🙁 also this was based on a request

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ˋ☆ — i was waiting in line to get onto the bus for the end of year senior field trip. as sad i was for this to be my last field trip ever, i was excited to go to disney to be my last one. i got on the bus, seeing how there wasn’t that much room.

my eyes darted towards an open seat in the back. with a small sigh of relief, i made my way to it. i sat next to chris that i was somewhat friends with. “hi.” i speak softly. “oh hey, you excited?” he asked me, flashing me a smile.

“yeah! i haven’t been to disney in a long time, how about you?” i reply with a small smile in return. “eh, sort of. im not that much of a disney person, i really like universal more.” the brunette boy told me. my eyebrows raised slightly. i hum softly in reply before my eyes looked around the bus. it was incredibly crowded and to make it worse, a teacher came up to us.

“is it alright if you can move so i can place this box there?” the blonde curly haired lady asked me while holding a box filled with lunchboxes. i bit the inside of my bottom lip. “oh? uhh i don’t know where else to sit.” i say, my fingers starting to fidget with the lace on the hem of my shirt. “you could sit on my lap.” chris suggested nonchalantly. my face turned to face his, “you sure?” i said with a slight tint of worry in my voice.

“yeah i dont mind.” he said. after we got the approval from the teacher, i crawled onto chris’ lap. my back pressed against his chest comfortably and i placed my draw string bag on top of all the lunchboxes. “let me know if ya’ get uncomfortable.” chris reminded me as he awkwardly placed his hands in my lap. i nod, blushing a little bit when he placed his hands on my lap.

the bus started moving after a little bit, and as time passed i was getting bored. i turned towards my bag and grabbed my headphones and my phone so i could listen to music. just as i put one of the airpods in, the bus drove on a speed bump, making me bounce a little bit on chris’ lap. i heard his breath hitch a little bit, making me ask him if he was okay. “‘m okay.” he said, his hands starting to play around with my thighs that were being barely covered from my jean skirt.

as i sort of expected, i felt chris get hard underneath me. he started to ramble to me about what i would be doing this summer, trying to get me to not notice his boner that was rubbing against me. “chris its not working.” i giggle quietly as i place my phone and airpods back into my bag. “whats not working?” he asks me quickly, his words laced with anxiety.

“i can feel your dick.” i laugh again, turning around a bit so i could see his face. chris let out a small defeated sigh, earning a small smile from me. “im sorry, its a instinct.” he said quietly with a little embarrassed smirk. i shook my head, “dont worry chris.” i say, rocking myself onto his hardon. i smiled a little bit as i felt his hands quickly grip onto my hips.

“y-y/n.” chris stuttered as he leaned his head back slightly. i whined out quietly, thankful that the bus was loud enough to cover it up. i kept grinding against him, getting wetter and wetter to the sounds that he was making into my ear. “fuck.” he whimpered, leaning his chin on my bare shoulder. my eyes fluttered shut slowly as i teased chris a little bit by slowing my pace until it came to a halt. “why did you stop?” he pouted.

i looked to the side where i thought there would be other students sitting but instead it was just other boxes. “good.” i whispered under my breath as i sat up a bit. i guess this was a hint for chris to unzip his pants. as he did so, he also pulled his boxers down to his upper thigh. i lowered my ass down while my fingers pulled my white lacey panties to the side.

i shuddered when i felt the burning sensation of him stretching me out as i sunk down his cock. his hands found my hips again and he gripped onto them, guiding me as i rode him. my hands rested on top of my thighs, gripping onto my jean skirt. “your taking me so well angel.” chris breathed into my ear, sending me shivers down my spine. “shitt.” i dragged out quietly as my mouth fell agape from pleasure. my hips swayed against his a bit quicker now, earning whines from him.

“shh, don’t want anyone to hear you baby.” i say, turning around to look at him slightly. he nodded slowly, making me go back to doing my thing. i smiled when i noticed how grabby chris was getting. his hands grabbed and touched anything he could. “can’t believe your riding me in the back of the bus like a slut.” the boy with brunette loose curls laughed dryly. i turn to face him again and looked at him with doe eyes.

“well you were the one who suggested for me to sit on your lap in the first place, sturniolo.” i state, my voice a little bit unbalanced since the head of his cock hitting my sweet spot perfectly. after i turned my head back, chris grabbed onto the back of my skirt. my back arched off of his chest as i just let him thrust up into me. “f-fuck im gon— ahh, im gonna cum.” i breath, biting my bottom lip to prevent myself from making any loud sounds.

“cum with me baby.” chris whined into my ear while wrapping his arms around my waist just so he can hold me still to thrust into me. i let my bottom lip bounce back and my mouth fall agape. soon enough, i came all over his cock. i threw my head back on his shoulder with his chin on my shoulder.

i then felt him fill me up with his seed, making me whine a little bit. the brunette kissed my temple softly before he spoke. “you okay?” he asked. i nodded, my hand reaching up to my hair and tucking a small strand behind my ear. “yeah, i have uhm.. tissues in my bag.” i say while reaching over to the pink bag and grabbed a few tissues from inside so we could clean up.

after we did so, i managed to squeeze between chris and the box filled with lunchboxes. i looked up at the blue-eyed boy and smiled. “we’re at disney.” he said. “happily ever after then.” i joked with a giggle.

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︴﹒ haven’s notes pt2 ; hope u guys liekd this :3 im gonna write more after this week i promise yalll

︴﹒ taglist ; @mxqdii @espressomads @luverboychris @sturniol0s @mattsluttywaist

[fictionwifey]

Konoha x Transmasc! Reader head cannons (pt. 1?)

Warnings: REALLY LONG, sasuke is kinda uh…a little shit, at first, but when is he not? queerphobia, ur deadname is Elizabeth? I dunno if it uses any pronouns, but if it does its prob he him, sorry nb besties

Note: queerphobes can gtfo of this blog im not cisgender, straight, or allosexual or alloromantic so uhh BYE SIS. Welcome beautiful queers and allies :)

Characters: Team 7: Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi (separately)

Naruto:

He actually gets it, like, immediately

If you tell him your preferred name and pronouns when you first meet him, he’ll use the right away, no problemo

If you tell him you’re trans later on, he’ll understand the concept pretty quickly, and he is happy and proud that you’re able to tell him

If he sees something remotely similar to the trans flag’s colors hes immediately pointing it out (same goes for any other flags of your queer identities)

“Look! It’s like the trans flag!” He says (a bit loudly according to your reddening cheeks and the customers’ stares) while pointing to a white shirt with blue outer stripes and pink inner stripes on it

“Yeah…let’s keep it down just a bit, kay, Naruto?” He nods and apologizes, later taking you to Ichiraku’s for ramen (you’re paying though—what’d you expect, for him to have money?)

If you tell him your preferred name and pronouns after you meet him and you’ve been friends, it’ll be a bit harder for him

You walk up to him one day, looking incredibly nervous for some reason before you grab his attention

“Hey, Naruto, uh…I’m trans…”

The way he freezes scares you at first before you realize it’s his look of confusion, not his look of judgement (they’re really not that different convince me otherwise)

You explain to him, and like I said before he grasps the concept immediately

Naruto accidentally deadnames you or uses the wrong pronouns now and then, and it wouldn’t be that much of a problem, except…

“Hey Elizabeth, is this the (men’s item) you wanted?” in the store

everyone turns around and you pull a ‘pretend-like-you-don’t-know-him’

“Hellooo? Eliz- er, Y/N, eheh..”

When you get home that’s the fourtj time you’ve had to discuss the ‘pretend-like-you-dont-know-him’

If someone deadnames or misgenders you, he’ll correct them

If they keep doing it even accidentally, he’ll have a polite, definitely non threatening conversation alone with them

If he finds out it’s intentional, well uh…

“What do you mean, ‘I’m the prime suspect’?? I didn’t even know they went missing- …being the last person to leave with them and returning without them doesn’t mean anything-!”

If you were feminine before coming out, whether a while ago or shortly before, he literally does not GAF

If you’re still kinda feminine (any ftm femboys here?) it increases his accidental deadnaming and stuff (but only if you came out later after meeting him)

Overall 12/10 🥺☺️

Sasuke:

This assho-

If you use your preferred name and pronouns when you first meet, of course he is annoying

“��why do you need to clarify your pronouns? You don’t look that much like a girl…if you squint…”

If you decide to explain you’re trans

“I’m…not sure that’s how it works…but you do you. …What’s your real n-“

He can’t finish before Kakashi loudly clears his throat, Naruto scolds him, and Sakura hits him in the back of the head. (Changing their scores they get extra for that)

If you decide to tell him you’re trans later, basically the same thing. Except maybe he’s a little less insensitive as he’s grown more attached.

If you completely start using your name and pronouns after meeting and knowing him, he’ll definitely be more sensitive about it. Still Sasuke tho, don’t push your luck.

He’ll accidentally deadname you every now and then, and sometimes you’re not even sure if he tries

He does really try to save you from embarrassment though, he’s only deadnamed or misgendered you in a male store for example once

If someone misgenders or deadnames you, he immediately gets on them coldly

If someone keeps doing it, he goes off

If he finds out it’s intentional, he’ll beat their ass then and there, in front of everyone, especially you

When you smile softly and say thanks, he cuts you off

“You’re all for equality right? If I get hit for accidentally doing that, they get killed for doing it purposefully.”

POV you rn: Um 🫢 damnn Sasukes actually kinda swee-

He’ll probably beat you up for even thinking that dont get too excited

He doesnt really care but not in a (very) mean way

if you were overly feminine before coming out, he’ll raise a brow and sometimes comment on how girly you were

If you’re still kinda feminine (any ftm femboys here?) he’d sometimes comment on it

You: 🎀💞🫧✨ Him: “Aren’t you a boy”

Before Sakura, Naruto, and Kakashi did their ✨thang✨ again

Overall 8.5/10 ig idk🫡

Sakura:

She’s a tinyyy bit disappointed she’s the only girl again, but then again, now no one can steal her spotlight (on Team Kakashi at least-)

She pretty much gets it, she’s heard of transgender people before, as she is a medical ninja, and Tsunade has met some (side note: Tsunade is a total auntie to the queer <33)

and now she’s even met one: you

She is VERY supportive and proud, but not as ‘OMG ITS SOMETHING TRANS’ as Naruto, you know?

She always uses the right pronouns and usually uses the right name, whether or not you came out/told her your name when you first met

she’s deadnamed you once after knowing your name is Y/N not Elizabeth or whatever your dead name may be

If someone misgenders or deadnames you, she immediately cuts them off and corrects them

If someone keeps doing it, she literally shouts the correction out of absolutely nowhere to cut them off

If she finds out it’s intentional, she literally interrupts them by SHRIEKING your name and pronouns Im serioud when I say she will SCREAM it from the ROOFTOPS she loves you

I dunno if its platonic love or not so dont get your hopes up but she definitely adores you

If you were feminine before coming out, whether a while ago or shortly before, Sakura doesn’t blink an eye at it. She knows realization like this can happen in a moments notice

She will take ALL the clothes, nail polish, makeup, etc that you no longer want (if you’d like of course heheh)

If youre still pretty fem she is BETTER THAN OKAY?? 🎀🫧✨🌸

Do you want her to paint your nails? Wait, you wear makeup? Can she do it today? Do you wanna borrow some of her clothes that smell like her so it seems- (Kakashi clears his throat interrupting Sakura and she realizes what she was about to say)

But yeah so imma say

Overall 100/10 obvi? 💞🥺

Kakashi:

He thinks it’s so cool that he’s actually getting to meet a trans person

They were just the butt of the jokes back in his day

Or the gossip whenever an actual trans person literally did nothing more than breathed

But yeah he’s like ‘that’s so cool’

He’s way more ecstatic and happy for you on the inside like in there he’s actually squealing

Kakashi reveals that he’s actually questioned his gender identity before, but it kinda got shoved out of his mind by his dad once (same with sexuality but he’s totally pansexual or something and he knows it—he doesnt care about gender he just likes people)

You guys discuss that stuff sometimes when he asks if its normal to question it, or his sexuality, or when he finally figures out the label for it is pan (or whatever) and then you guys just discuss your queer identities

One day he was just like “hey is it normal to wonder if I’m a boy? I know you’re a boy who was once a girl, or at least seen as one, but I…” and yeah

If you’re (around) his age, and he finds out you’re trans, he feels like he’s about to cry

Kakashi is SO HAPPY, he didn’t know trans people…would even be able to live as long as you…

He hugs you so tight bro you’re not getting out of that for a while

If you’re literally his age like ive said before and ur not a minor you may or may not be his pan/homosexual awakening…

You guys are so sweet as a couple just the absolute cutest

If you’re a kid he’s training Kakashi will make sure you’re extra well protected due to the sad fact that transphobia and just plain queerphobia is still everywhere even if it’s a small amount

Regardless of age again, he always uses the right name, as he says its easy cos Y/N suits you better and generally uses the right pronouns

He’s used the wrong pronouns just a few times

If someone misgenders or deadnames you, Kakashi patiently corrects them

If they keep doing it, he gets a bit annoyed but makes you a pronouns pin and/or name tag and reminds them each time, his reminder dripping with more venom each time

If he finds out it’s intentional, Kakashi literally will get them in trouble, the excuse being they were harassing and bullying you, even so much as saying they were threatening your existence (which isnt a complete lie)

He cares so much about you dare I say loves you so much, whether it be in a familial way if youre a kid or adult, or a romantic way if youre an adult 

If you were feminine before coming out, he sometimes gets confused but usually does great actually with few mistakes

If youre still feminine he sometimes gets confused on accident but it doesnt take him long to get good

Overall 10/5 🤍🥹

I may make more with the other teams! Have a great one, byeee!!

[backwardsbread]

Hi!! I loved your Hazbin character proposal headcanons for Lucifer, Alastor and Vox! I was wondering if you could do the same for Angel dust x gn! reader and how Angel thinks about the idea of marriage and how he would propose? Thank you love!!❤️

Uhh- ABSOLUTELY I WILL- DONT GOTTA ASK ME TWICE 💛💛

The support in my last two writings was OVERWHELMING- I have a ton of stuff saved in my drafts that I’m finishing up, so more is to come. But I’ll never turn down an opportunity to write more fluffy scenarios.

They heal my soul— ANYWAYS, I hope you enjoy~ I had so much fun writing this- this is my first time writing AngelDust, so bear with me!

AngelDust x GN!Reader

~Marriage proposal~

Warnings‼️: Mentions of past trauma, established relationship, mentions of harassment, working for the V’s, swearing, fluff, Gn!reader, toxic work environment, mentions of Valentino?? I think that’s it?

~Not proofread~

Angel Dust:

The thought of marriage very much unsettled AngelDust.

Sure, on the inside, Angel was a complete sap. He loved pure sentiments, mushy couple clichés, the thought of loving somebody as much as his heart and soul would allow.

It all made Angel’s heart skip.

But in his head, all of that was just fairytales. Stuff he only saw on screen. The real thing was ugly.

Messy, uncomfortable, and painful. Throughout his life and throughout hell, romance didn’t come as pure and joyous.

It came as rough, forceful, and sad. So he threw his hopes and dreams of being swept off his feet to happily ever after out the window.

Besides, it threw off his entire persona of who he was in Hell! His face was on every other build-board, showing off a lewd expression or erotic poses.

It’s who sinners knew him as. AngelDust. The porn demon who fell for Valentino’s tricks.

You were a film assistant, not exactly an actor/actress, but you did more work behind the scenes.

You helped AngelDust with makeup, scripts, costumes (that were absolutely useless in your opinion when most got torn to shreds during filming)

You were there to offer water to him, a rag when needed, overall you were pretty much a silent helping hand. An oddly comforting presence for Angel.

Whenever you would help Angel with production, he would find a sense of relief knowing he wouldn’t be rushed or harassed before working. He could sit in comfortable silence with you or rant about his long day.

You didn’t speak back a lot to Angel, only giving occasional hums of acknowledgement, or quiet directions for helping put on his makeup.

You weren’t trying to be rude or anything, you just knew that Angel needed a listening ear more than anything.

The first time Angel heard you add to his ranting was when Angel was telling a story about Valentino. One of his favorites to tell, when the moth man couldn’t count up the cash Angel had just earned for him, despite it only being three bills.

At the mention of the overlords name you mumbled a quiet, ‘blind moth bitch’ under your breath, that clearly caught Angel off guard, as he stopped his rambling immediately.

The two of you stare at each other for a moment and you fear for a moment that you crossed a boundary. That fear quickly fades when AngelDust bursts out into a fit of belly laughs and snorts.

His laughter was so contagious.

You find yourself giggling, then full on wheezing along with Angel.

You can barely finish his makeup properly that day because of the back and forth banter the two of you engaged in. Constantly in a fit of giggles or telling stories about a certain moth overlord.

Angel and you exchanged numbers after that interaction and the rest was history.

From that moment on you and Angel were texting almost everyday despite if you saw each other.

Texting turned into routine late night phone calls and occasional hang outs outside of work.

Sure, Angel would slip into his flirty persona every so often, but you had a way of bringing who he really was out.

And to Angel, it was scary, but it also felt amazing. To have somebody see him.

But Angel had walls he had built up over years and years that he had worked hard to keep stable and it would take time to tear those down.

It took time to build trust and to know you were there for no ill intent, just to be his friend and enjoy his company.

To be there for who he was and not who he had been made to be.

It was a long process getting Angel to open up to you, for you to tear down the brick walls he had surrounded himself in.

To Angel, it felt like you had done it so easily. It felt like you could see right through him!

Did Angel feel those fuzzy bubbly feelings towards you because of this? Of course he did. Was he 100 percent going to ignore them? Absolutely.

Love isn’t easy, that’s what he always knew. Yet it felt so easy to love you and that slightly terrified him.

He tried to bury his feelings for you. He cared too much about your guys’ friendship to attempt to peruse anything romantic at first.

He appreciated the friendship you guys had too much for that.

So the beginning of what you guys had together was definitely a situationship in my eyes.

Mutual pining at its best baby.

However, gossip was popular in the studio. So if one person finds out about your crush on Angel, or his crush on you, EVERYONE knows.

Once the information gets back to either one of you, depending on who got outed, you guys talk it out and decide to give a relationship a shot.

You guys aren’t really fond on telling other sinners your an item,

(Can you imagine if that information got out to Valentino?? Oh boy-)

But you most definitely aren’t ashamed to be with each other. Angel LOVES romance. He’s a sucker for it.

Cheesy love notes, bouquets of flowers, chocolates, dates, picnics, movie nights, etc.

Any mushy gushy thing on the list is all there babes.

One of Angel’s love languages is quality time. So while you guys aren’t particularly all over each other at the studio, any moment in private together you have is cherished.

Whether it’s sitting in comfortable silence cuddling with you or going out to a club together, spending time with you is important to him.

Regarding Angel’s job, you understand it’s still something he has to do. While you’re not a fan on how he’s treated, he is under a soul binding contract. There was nothing you could really do about that.

Besides, you worked for the V’s as well. It was a sticky situation.

You could only be there for him as he was there for you. Through the ups and downs that the Overlords put you two through, you guys supported each other the best you could.

Now, the thought of marriage to Angel had popped up in his head a few times. It honestly gave him the jitters.

A sort of nervous excitement. Intense anxiety that he couldn’t place in the category of positive or negative.

He knew he loved you of course. More than anything. He’d sell his soul all over again if it were for you.

But in the back of his mind, he couldn’t shake the thought of this all being too good to be true. You were in Hell after all. Couldn’t all be cupcakes and rainbows.

Communication was important in your guys’ relationship, so Angel did bring up this topic to you once or twice.

You could always tell how much it stressed Angel out whenever he brought up the topic, assuming it made him wildly uncomfortable.

You always made sure to reassure him that no matter what, you would be his, even if you didn’t wear a pretty halo on your finger to represent that.

And each time you gave your reassurance, he would cover your face with kisses, showering you in affections for your understandings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Angel told you about moving into Charlie Morningstar’s little hotel, you were a bit skeptical. But hey, anything was better than staying with the V’s 24/7.

It was a sort of escape. Of course you didn’t take the Princess’s cause too seriously, but she gave the both of you a place to crash rent free, so you played nice.

Besides, the hotel was a place you and Angel could be more open about your guys’ relationship. It opened a new world you guys didn’t have back at the studio’s in a toxic work environment.

It felt more domestic. It felt comforting. It was more private and intimate for you guys. It felt like the two of you were taking your relationship to the next level.

But moving was a hassle.

Having to haul all of yours and Angel’s belongings into one hotel room seemed impossible and was exhausting.

Especially with Angel’s extensive wardrobe and his pampered pigs lavish lifestyle.

(Seriously, that pig had a bedazzled water bowl)

You had just arrived back at the hotel from grabbing the last of your belongings.

Hauling the box down the hallway, your door feeling like it was getting further away as you dragged your feet down the extensive hallway.

You fish your key out of your pocket while balancing the box against the wall and atop your knee, trying not the drop it.

You fiddle with the lock, slowly turning the key counterclockwise, then pushing down the door handle. You bump the door open with your hip, letting the box crash to the floor with unintended aggression.

Looking around the room, you’re confused when you don’t see your partner right away, he was meant to be at the hotel still. Perhaps he was downstairs and you had missed him.

You close the door but hear the sound of paper crinkling and soft crunching.

Your heart nearly skips a beat when you see Fat Nuggets on your shared bed, eating fresh flowers that were laid there. He’s clearly enjoying himself, not a care in the world as he munched away at the beautiful bouquet that was no doubt meant for you. It had all your favorites arranged beautifully while Fat Nuggets saw it as a free buffet.

You’re quick to wrap your hand around the pigs torso, pulling him back from the bouquet. You grab the greenery with your other hand, lifting it off the bed away from the troublemaker, who was letting out dissatisfied squeals, upset he didn’t get to finish his snack.

You scold the pig, looking at the damage he had done to the gift your lover had gotten you. You frown a bit, feeling bad that it was a bit ruined, but nonetheless, your heart melts at the gesture. Seeing as Angel went out of his way to get you a gift with no special occasion in mind.

The pig squirms in your hand, that’s when you notice something foreign around his neck. Anxiety shoots through you and you’re quick to drop the flowers, trying to coax the pig into allowing you to take off whatever was on him.

Fat Nuggets put up a bit of a fight, annoyed at the sudden tussle you had started with him, but you succeeded in pulling off the piece of twine that was wrapped around his neck. Once it’s off, you release him, mumbling an apology to the pig as he retreats to his plush pet bed.

You sigh, adrenaline high falling as you hold the piece of twine in your hands. You look down at it, assuming it was part the bouquet he was feasting on.

When examining it, you see a piece of silver/gold tied in the middle. You pick up the band, twisting it to look at it from each angle. When it dawns on you what it actually is, you don’t have time to react.

Your lover is now walking into the room, holding a bag of your guys’ favorite takeout in one hand and a gift box in his lower set of arms. His phone is pressed up against his ear with his one free hand and you can hear Cherri’s voice booming from the other side of the phone.

The two of you make eye contact and it becomes an intense staring contest for what feels like the rest of eternity. Cherri’s screaming fading into background noise while Angel’s face contorts into panic as he sees the display in front of him.

Torn flowers, a very grumpy pig in the corner, and ring gripped in your hand as if you were trying to hide the fact that you knew what was happening.

Without breaking his gaze from you, Angel hung up on Cherri. He finally looks away from you, trying to find anything to relieve the tension in the room.

“Soo.. uhh.. how much did Nugs tell ya?”

He asks nervously, sitting down next to you on the bed.

You stare at him dumbfounded for a moment.

Was he making a joke now of all times??

You can’t help but grin and snort, covering your mouth. You smack him lightly before laughing at what he had said. Tension completely melting away by your lovers remark.

Angel relaxes and smiles, adrenaline in his body still running high. He sets down the food he had brought in on the bedside table and the gift box on the ground.

He gently grabs your hand that held the ring tied in with twine, causing your laughter to calm down. You slowly open your hand, revealing the piece of jewelry. Angel slowly takes it from you.

Realization of what is happening dawns on this man WAY too late. He fidgets with the ring, trying to undo the twine from it, his fingers trembling slightly. He swears under his breath while trying to explain himself.

He stumbles over his words, explaining how this subject had been a constant in his mind for a long time now.

He knew you had said you would be fine without a ring, but he wanted to get you something special for staying with him. A symbol on your finger that you would always be his, whether you be near or far.

He didn’t want to be with anyone else. It was you and it was always going to be you.

His proposal was slightly awkward, butchered, and god was it cheesy.

But it didn’t fail to make you emotional. It was so intimate and personal. Despite it not going quite as Angel had planned, it was perfect in your eyes.

If you could have hearts in your eyes, you totally would

Angel fidgeted with the ring, unsure on what to say next. He started to ramble a bit, saying something along the lines of if it was too soon he would totally understand.

Which you respond by quickly plucking the ring away from him, and sliding it onto your finger. He looks at you, blinking a few times before blushing brightly at your acceptance.

You chuckle at his reaction, gently holding one set of his hands, and pressing a gentle kiss against his lips.

Angel melts into you, reciprocating your embrace and cupping up your face in his other set of hands.

You smile, leaning into your lover. Feeling absolutely enveloped by adoration.

Before the two of you can fall too much into each others embrace, you’re interrupted by the sound of curious snorts and snuffs.

The two of you pull away from each other, looking down to see Fat Nuggets with his head in the gift box Angel had brought into the room. His curled tail wagging away excitedly as if the gift was for him.

Angel bolts up, quickly lifting up the pet pig who lets out an alarmed squeal. You can’t help but laugh as Angel scolds Nugs, who had spoiled another surprise your partner had set out for you today.

Yeah.. this was something you could definitely get used to.

[edajcheel]

TW: Yandere.

Imagine this, you're just an average student in night Raven College. You blend in very well with all the idiots and high-mighty men, thus, being a background character.

But suddenly, a person by the name of "yuu" comes and asks you for help for one of their assignments, you sit next to them and share multiple classes with them.

Soon, you began hanging around this person and grow a friendship with them.

But you always feel eyes behind you, piercing into your back as if you were prey.

After you finished your lunch with Yuu, and go your separate ways. You get cornered in a hallway that's clear of all students.

The infamous brothers, the leech twins, corner you from behind and front, no where to escape.

"Heyyyy small fry, do you have a deathwish?" Floyd Leech, the more aggressive twin pipes up.

"Oh, don't be harsh Floyd. We have yet to question them."

Seems like they have a unhealthy obsession with your newfound friend, Yuu, is what you figured out. They were planning to dump your corpse somewhere, and get rid of you for talking to their "Angelfish"

But you somehow came up with a good reason that let you live... "Uhh.. hey, I can bring you undiscovered information about Yuu if you let me live.." You quietly mumbled out.

Both of the twins looked at each other, seemingly sharing unintelligible words and emotions that you can't seem to decipher.

"We will accept your offer on that, but on one condition, you will not touch them nor handle them in any such way." Jade leech, the more "calmer" of both the twins said.

Although... You wouldn't call that calm.. more like he's just trying to hide his feelings of aggression towards you. He could snap your neck in any second if you so much as make the wrong move.

So it began, you being the "spy" for the twins. Trying to scope specific information from Yuu was hard. Personal information. It really seems like they aren't even THEIR own person. More like they just follow a script on what they like and do.

"what's your favorite color?"

"hmm.. I like all colors!"

"What's your favorite food?"

"it's hard to pick, everything tastes great to me."

You went back and forth to the twins, telling them the information you gathered till this day. You've seen and know how they react to most things, they're obsessive, cunning, possessive people that you don't want to mess with. Being with them, suffocated you a lot. You had to make sure not to get on their bad side, or do anything rash.

You avoid the touch of Yuu as much as you can. You avoid talking to them about other topics except for the topics that the twins tell you to speak about. But for crying out loud, whenever Yuu sights you out from the crowd, you can see them full speeding towards you. Can't you get any rest from this place?

You take safety measures and always find a way to escape from Yuu's grasp.

You really don't understand what your relationship has come to with the twins. Soon, all three of you begin hanging around at Mostro Lounge. In addition, you give them good information about Yuu while they sneak you free drinks. A win win. Their drinks are over expensive anyways, so it greatly benefits you.

You just hope that their house warden, Azul Ashengrotto, doesn't find out. Or you'll be in a deeper hole than you already are.

As the three of you hang out more, gradually growing loose with each other, even asking them for help with homework. You soon see yourself smiling in their presence, actually having fun. You don't know what their thought process was with this sudden change, but they dont seem to mind much.

They call you in for another small meeting, probably telling you what topic to cover with Yuu.

"Alright! What's my next mission impossible?"

Jade shows his infamous "gentleman" smile as he softly places his hand to his chest "We desire to see what you've been up to lately."

You quirk your brow in confusion. "Eh? What do you mean by that?"

"You're sooo slow guppy! It's not that complicated, we want to know what you've been doing these past days!"

Ah shit. Do they think you're plotting behind their back? You really thought that you gained their favor, and maybe became actual friends. Seems like they still don't see you as anything other than their information giver.

"I haven't been doing anything with Yuu, if that's what your speculating..." You address them calmly and seriously. Making sure that you sound convincing.

"No, you've misunderstood. That question is purely for you, Y/n." Jade's hand was boldly placed on the side of your face, as if to caress it. "You know, guppy, we've been bored lately.." Floyd shows his jaggered teeth, resembling a sharks.

They both grin. Floyd donning a smirk, while Jade's sharp teeth was out in display.

"We've grown interest in you, dearest Y/n."

"More than we've grown interest in Shrimpy.. theyve been boring these past few days..."

ANNNNNNDDD THATS WHEN YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH TWO YANDERE FUCKERS, THE DAMN LEECH BROTHERS, EVERYDAY IN YOUR LIFE!!! GOOD LUCK!! Cause they won't be hiding their affections and obsessive love towards you like they did with Yuu. Well, at least you have two tall, handsome bodyguards right? Not just one, but two. This was longer than I expected it to be..

This was inspired by the manhwa, I Love Amy, go check it out! It's 5 stars!

[nishnormp]

cheavy ramblings

Been thinking about the stinky BLU classic heavy from the comics lately. He's basically the villain of the final issues, and was practically built to be unlikeable from the start so his defeat could be more satisfying; buut since its been years since an update came out and I am slowly going insane, I think it would be funky to explore him more (bonus cmedic feature)

Few disclaimers: I'm not excusing his actions (I myself think hes a bitch) and I do NOT ship him with tf2 medic (also I dont think tf2 medic is unmasked cmedic bc 1)why would he sabotage himself in the issues by acting like That 2)uhh reasons later 3)this panel) also some of my takes aren't original, but I've expanded on em a bit

P1: Medic hater activities

As we all know, cheavy's greatest sin was dunking on + killing tf2 medic

Somehow he and tfc demo got sidetracked by medic's question, but the most hostile he gets towards tf2 medic here is jeering at the fact that they're going to hunt down his old team; which tf2 medic doesn't seem bothered by.

( @number1yisuchongfan actually brought this up before me) This panel pretty much sums up why cheavy is pissed: medic was implied to have a record of being weird with parts (he lost his license bc he stole a man's skeleton), he blew ALL of his budget meant for healing on exotic parts (that he put in cheavy's teammates), AND he revived the enemy (said enemy slips away a few panels later just as cheavy gets informed that three of his mercs died).

(also, the weird p3do tfc scout and soldier arent included in the 'three good men', since they died much later) Speaking of the 'good men' comment-

P2: Good leader at some point?? Not anymore tho

Hes gruff and an ass, but cheavy has a soft spot for his team; the tf2 mercs call each other strictly by their classes, but the tfc ones know each other names (also see cheavy's way of describing his dead teammates and his immediate reaction to go over there rather than curse/assume their incompetence)

He gets curious about australium, and from here on out he gets fixated on it- enough to be more unreasonable than usual. Cheavy is pretty amicable with Bea, and the way he acts with her is probably more in-character for what he was like back in his prime rather than the hot-tempered man that the later panels show.

I mean . He and his team were highly recommended and even took out ALL of the admin's elite teams, leaving the tf2 team for last. He may be a drill sergeant, but I don't think he was a genuine tyrant for most of his career; they aren't purely business-basis with each other (some of them formed close bonds, like fred and virgil), plus- any elite team would be able to capitalize on an overly prideful and control freaky leader (+a constantly demoralized team) sooner.

With three of his mercs dead and his plans failing against a team that he saw as rejects, the mental strain is showing badly. Tfc mercs don't have much personality in their games (or their own comic about them during their prime) but one of the few dynamics mentioned is between the Heavy and the Engineer+Medic. Tfc engie is the one who stepped up to ask about cheavy's plans, and he also gets the brunt of his anger. Earlier, cheavy answered bea's question and encouraged her, but now he's yelling and mocking the capabilities of one of the men he coordinates with the most.

Tfc scout's line may just be him not understanding/underestimating australium (esp since apparently cheavy had to ask grey mann what it even did), but it also reads as him seeing cheavy having officially gone off his rocker; his shaky grasp over leadership might kill the team before being deprived of yellow rocks does. Both scout and engie are thrown off by his attitude, implying that cheavy isn't usually like this (I can't imagine them being coordinated if they all shrimp away like that).

His line of thinking for both of these situations are pretty questionable. For the first one, he knows that the bots extract australium from the body, but he also knows that the mercs likely have nothing in them anyways (note the emphasis on his dead mercs, this is him taking revenge but also he is NAWT going to get any australium for those extra immortality machines which is still a pressing issue for his engie). In the second one, he first tells medic that they'll try figuring out how to stitch the machine on him, which leads to medic stabbing him and cheavy retaliating. Cheavy then goes all the way with attempting to kill him, stating that he'll just gets his answers from the administrator. Its soon revealed that he wants to fight tf2 heavy, but even that is ??? Like cheavy knows that he and his team are old as hell, but he's going to try having a fair fight with a guy in his prime anyways? He didn't even know that he could just slap on the machine at the time, and the unnecessary risk for what seems to be a quest to satisfy his ego is antithetical to his supposed goal of getting the rocks and making his team immortal. At this point, his hatred of medic has completely overridden his rationality; there were many ways for him to have killed both of them, yet he didn't take em.

P3: Cmedic

I saw some posts abt how cheavy is likely coded as homophobic due to how he treats medic (a presumably gay-coded character) bc of the "stay in the kitchen"-esque dialogue, and the way cheavy undermines him in verbal + physical ways. I do not have a very solid defense for this . aside from everything I listed before.

Just to clarify, I think its cheavy's fault for alienating medic from the start: loss of medical license aside, medic's inventions DO work splendidly for healing. Would it have been more concerning since medic is . meant to heal? Maybe. But mercs are literal murderers for hire, personality quirks should be the last of their priorities. The guy is passionate about showing off his stuff, and he was even enthusiastic about getting on the battlefield and healing cheavy. I'm not saying medic was going to be 100% loyal, but he's willing to do his job for the classics as long as he wasn't disrespected so damn much.

The tfc mercs with personalities are ones that oppose their tf2 counterpart; tfc sniper is a sadist rather than a swift professional, tfc pyro is...also a sadist rather than having tf2 pyro's misguided bubbliness, and cheavy does not respect his team's (current) medic. This in conjunction with the complete and utter lack of not just presence but also mention of tfc medic leads to the popular belief that the guy just up and left because of the disrespect.

(Writing inconsistencies be damned I like to cope) so what if it wasn't the case?

These are one of the few lines in tfc that describe a cooperative nature between certain classes. Like I mentioned earlier, tfc has less media compared to tf2 so its easy to slot personalities onto them as villains (tfc sniper's gun blowing people into giblets kinda helps), but I don't think these can be ignored. Fred was the one who represented the rest of the team's opinions to cheavy, and the phrasing in the second pic is even stronger; the heavymedic duo was always a thing, even in tfc.

Sort of. Gameplay-wise, cmedic is more like a roided out scout armed with a medkit that can give enemies and disguised spies tuberculosis, grenades that can send him across the map, and a gun that can destroy sentries (situational). He doesn't need to cling to his more offensive teammates as much as tf2 medic, and while his kit can instantly heal a teammate to full no matter the percentage + give overheal- its strictly melee ranged and has no ubercharge. In a narrative sense, cmedic would most likely oppose tf2 medic as a more 'grounded' healer. He prevents damage to his team by erasing enemies himself, doesn't go too overboard with his biochemical arsenal (his brew is potent but hes stuck with the melee-ranged kit and no crazy mechanic like uber), and can typically run off by himself (provided he isn't jumped by two soldiers or smth). Its a matter of game design, but can translate to the comics in an interesting way.

Medic is the only one who speaks of cmedic, and while the mention itself has no violent reaction- no one else speaks of him. I can't imagine him being easily forgotten since the heavymedic duo is just too iconic, so what if smth exceptionally horrible just happened to him? If cmedic was close to cheavy than everyone else, his loss/disappearance could explain cheavy's immediate dislike for tf2 med; not only replacing his own med, but with the complete opposite in terms of personality as well.

(I could expand on cmedic more, but this post is already long enough as is so I'll probably just make a separate one gah)

[luffyvace]

what BSD characters are like driving!! 🤗 (😀)

includes PM, ADA & DOA

(these are short + no gifs bc it’s a LOT of characters)

Killing/threatening warning, yk, PM stuff..

PM

Mori Ougai: (I don’t condone his behavior—they ruined what he could’ve been)

actually a decently normal driver?

occasionally pushes the red/yellow light, especially if he’s late for smth important

will you Elise to be like “please my little girl is in the car 🥺😕” if he’s gets pulled over

Only trust him to drive you around if your one of his executives…otherwise if he asks you to get in his car- DONT.

Nakahara Chuuya:

ultimate road rager

really it’s not him it’s all these grannies drivin around!! 🙄

gets a million tickets a month but has the money to pay them off

i mean, he would. If he didn’t just kill/threaten the police officers..

don’t let him see Dazai either 😭😭

will probably be like “HEY DAZAI, ITS A DREAM COME TRUE” and (try to) ram his car into him—using his ability too, as a bonus

Kōyō Ozaki:

swears/mutter under her breath about how “people are idiots” more than she actually curses people out

i feel like she only would if someone were to damage he beautiful car (she has it custom with lots of pink floral patterns, not in a childish way!- it’s very pretty 😊)

she can afford to fix it ofc but it still upsets her

that person definitely doesn’t go home that night…..

she’s very beautiful so she could probably con her way out of getting tickets “I won’t do it again officer~” immediately rolls her eyes and calls them names that will not be stated here as soon as she drives off 😆

Ryunosuke Akutagawa:

I believe he’s a decent driver as well

Only drives recklessly if he’s angry/Dazai forced him to take Atsushi with him 😃😭

definitely drives safe when his sister’s in he car 🥹💗

usually turns the music all the way down

Gin Akutagawa:

would prefer to walk or have Ryuu drive her <3

but she does know how, knows the basics but sometimes forgets what random buttons do

gets pretty shy when she’s pulled over (she was either speeding because she was late for work or just happened to be caught going during a red light) so the officers let her go with out a ticket, just a (non literal) slap on the wrist “don’t let it happen again kid”

doesn’t play any music at all

Ichiyo Higuchi:

uhh she’s either driving wildly because she’s trying to help out Akutagawa or decently but parks on curbs/hits others car often 😃😅

forgets to turn on the radio since half the time she’s in the car she’s rushing

yeah I don’t have much to say since she drives pretty okay 👍

Ryūrō Hirotsu:

prefers to walk 100%

doesn’t even know why he has a car

actually yes he does it’s because it’s an old school model he’s had forever and is proud of

so he also doesn’t drive bc he doesn’t wanna scuff it up

would be a good driver if he did tho

will be the driver for other people’s cars tho

Michirō Tachihara:

very impatient

especially since most the time he’s trying to get to work

im ngl he’s probably made his car fly to work one day since he can control metal

maybe Chuuya has done that too…..definitely.

honks the horn like crazy 😭

tries to tone it down if one of his superiors are with him tho, like Kōyō, Hirotsu or Mori

Sakunosuke Oda: (Odasaku)

only drives crazy during emergencies

Good luck to whoever is in the car with him at that moment, your getting flung all over the place- seatbelt or not 😂😂

Otherwise you can 100% trust him to drive you around :)

very responsible, turns on his turning signal, stops at even yellow lights and never gets tickets 😊💗

Ango Sakaguchi:

another reliable and responsible one!

except he’s not as bad when it comes to emergencies 😭👍

he drives fast inbetween lights when it comes that kind of thing, like if it’s 3 green lights he’s stepping on the gas, but if there’s a red he’ll speed to that very light 😭

or he’ll just keep going since he’s a officer 🤷‍♀️ I forgot abt that..OOPS

ADA

Yukichi Fukuzawa:

really good driver

stops for animals, people, red lights, yellow lights

only downside is he sometimes doesn’t notice the green light

he’s one of those where you have to be like “uhhh the light is green”

Akiko Yosano:

uhhhhhh don’t drive with her

Professional road rager

has a quicker temper with men than women but she’s still speeding past you angrily either way….

only difference is she might hope out to curse out the men if she has the time

gets like 4 tickets a month..😭

Atsushi Nakajima:

he’s getting there! 😃

would drive better if Dazai didn’t keep rushing and distracting him 🤦‍♀️

tries to drive extra safe when Kyouka’s in the car /p (I don’t ship them she’s 14)

has to drive Dazai a lot of the time, and is pretty much the go to pick up guy for Ranpo too

or anyone who needs a ride really, he’s too helpful for his own good because he knows they’re gonna drive them crazy- but helps them out anyway 😅

Doppo Kunikida:

vv good driver 🫡

ultimate best driver passed his driving test with flying colors

Dazai be driving him crazy when he’s in the car with him but it’s okay he can drive with his feet/knees 😭🤷‍♀️

plays soft music from underrated bands

Jun’ichiriō Tanizaki:

uhh Naomi bothers him way too much while he’s in the car

wouldn’t accidentally run so many red lights if it weren’t for her

doesn’t even notice it’s red until she points it out and he’s already passed the stop line

They agree to both pay for the ticket

Kenji Miyazawa:

doesn’t drive

lives walking and would rather to say hi to the citizens everyday

likes to take it slow so he gets up early to walk to work

hes used to it since he’s a farmer 😊

Kyōka Izumi:

knows the basics

will start speeding without warning if you tell her an emergency has happened

hold your horses yall 🗿

mostly let’s Atsushi drive/prefers for him to so she can stare out the window

prefers no music

Osamu Dazai:

don’t even get me started

he only drives regularly when something serious happens

Don’t be fooled he’s certainly going over the speed limit

but he’s not being loud and obnoxious for once

will sing along to songs annoyingly loud and encourages whoever’s in the car to join (only Kenji does, but nobody mind him <3)

accidentally runs a few red lights but at least he’s never ran over anyone (it’s came close….)

Ranpo Edogawa:

doesn’t drive

only hitches rides from others and by others I mean Atsushi

I mean he can he’s just too lazy to and also likes to stare out the window

Wants to be the one in control of the radio despite not being the driver “I’m the worlds greatest detective! And I deduce you should let me choose the station!”

Naomi Tanizaki:

only gets rides from Juni

i feel like she doesn’t have a license yet

she walks to school and rides home with Tanizaki after work

always bugging him while he’s driving

she’s learning to drive from him even tho she doesn’t want to do she could keep hitching rides with him

probably thinking about failing the test on purpose but she realizes she wouldn’t be able to drive him to the hospital/agency if something were to happen..

Kirako Haruno: (office clerk lady)

if something happened to Tanizaki she would be the one to drive Naomi around

just make sure she never tries to drive while drunk…

otherwise a decent driver….probably occasionally pushes yellow lights

only gets a ticket once every 6-7 months or so

DOA

Kamui:

safest driver in the lands

yk cuz criminals be the safest drivers so they don’t get pulled over

LOL /j but even if he did the officer would immediately recognize him, apologize and back off

so yeah! Not to say he’s recklessly but he can definitely get away with running red lights :P

Bram Stoker:

um…..I actually don’t know why I put him here

LOL

would obviously hitch rides untilll…ifykyk 😊

but even then driving a car would be way too complex for him to even WANT to learn to do….

Fyodor Dostoevsky:

Okay now the actually criminally safe driver is him (PUN INTENDED LOL)

could probably use his intellect to get out of getting a ticket anyway

knows all the laws and has the memorized somehow and will probably outsmart the officer

doesn’t drive unless needed tho

Nikolai Gogol:

what does HE need to drive for?! 😭

bro just use your cape!

anyway he’d probably only do so if his goal required it or fun to run people over and set them free 🫡🕊️

another one who doesn’t drive

Sigma: (male alpha giga chad 🙂)

⚠️S5 DEATH/ENDING SPOILER⚠️

HELP ME I SEARCHED UP FYODOR’S NAME IN ANOTHER TAB AND I FORGOT HOW TO SPELL IT INSTANYLY SO WHEN I CLOSED MY KEYBOARD FYODOR D AUTOCORRECTED INTO FYODOR DIED 😭

Can I get a moment of silence for sitting here and taking the time out of my day to write all them COMPLICATED AHH NAMES⁉️🗣️

[dayseedrawz2]

My thoughts on episode 3 + theories!!

I'll talk more about this on my YT, but for now here's a tumblr version

(SPOILERS BELOW)

Okay so starting off, my unfiltered thoughts throughout the episode

-They actually spend time together when outside the adventures aww! (Not like they really have a choice, but still neat-)

-Jax being a bitch

-"Zooble turns Straight" Welp, the whooooooole fandom was right!

-Bubbles reversed dialouge. Damn they really don't want those content farms no more.

-CAINE AN POMNI INTERACTION YEAAAA (It was one piece of dialogue I'm so delusional)

-He made this adventure JUST for Zooble cuz they never go and he really wants them to GUYS HES NOT A VILLAN SEE?

-Jax being a bitch

-LUIGIS MANSION REFRENCE FUCKING YESSS

-Wow the visual here are super pretty :o

-...and horrifying

-Jax being a bitch

-I haven't mentioned yet but the lil quirky powers or whatever are cool

-Wow the lore Caine writes for these stories is just like your average artist who torments their OCs (he so me fr)

-2D ANIMATION!!! Also Kinger and Pomni being like the funniest duo ever

-HOLY FRICKLE FRACKLE THEY DEFINITELY DID NOT WANT CONTENT FARMS TO FIND THIS EPISODE

-the monster is awesome looking tho

-THE THERAPY SESSION SEGMENTSS AAA

-Also Caine has a Trans flag hanging somewhere in the circus neat

-He forgot he could use his powers to just teleport Zooble to him lol

-Back to the spooky stuff

-Wow Kinger can actually use a gun! (Never thought I'd be saying that sentence-)

-KINGER AND POMNI GO TO ACTUAL HELL WHILE THE REST JUST HAVE A TEA PARTY WITH MARTHA

-Also JAX IS TIED UP BAHAHAHA

- "You know how men are, always having the silliest priorities..." "Heh, dont i know it!" I think the bunny doll shippers really like that scene

-Zooble has some sorta body dismorphia and has opened up about it to Caine multiple times seems like

-Uhh Caine... you okay buddy? CAINE YOU GOOD BRO? CAI

-CAINE HAS EMOTIONS/SELF AWARNESS CONFIRMED???

-Pomni gets fucking posessed ok

-now we know why it looked like kinger was hitting Pomni with the shotgun

-KINGER AND QUEENIE WERE MARRIED CONFIRMED???

-Father daughter bonding aww...

-I love how the whole fandom took one good look at Ragatha and went:

GAY GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GA-

-also Pomni and Ragatha are on good terms now aww...

-Caine and Zooble Should Pass that pipe from ep 2 and legitemently vent to each other

-Jax is pissed because the Jester actually had a good fucking day for once lmao stay mad

-NOW WE KNOW WHY HE STAYS IN THAT PILLOWFORT IM GONNA FUCKIN CRY NOW

Overall, this was definitely my favorite episode so far! The team is getting better each and every episode! SOOO much happened here!! I'm super excited to see what happens next!!

Okay, THEORY TIME!!

-Okay so to start lightly, so far, all the episodes we've seen contain:

Gangles mask breaking

Jax breaks the 4th wall

A cute/sad heart to heart conversation or interaction

A reference to angels or god or Christianity in some way

Interesting right?? Wonder if this keeps up...

-On the topic of Christianity, I saw a theory saying that if it's true that the gang developed the game (which may be true because of that computer science line), When Pomni says "I knew it would end up like this... He just wants me to suffer..." she may not be referring to Caine, but her Boss at CnA.

If that boss exists and is NOT named able, Imma be mildly upset-

-Okay, Alot of people have been talking about Jax being an NPC, and I wanna bring up my opinion on this:

As I mentioned earlier, he always breaks the 4th wall, witch could be seen as a character in a game being like "What do YOU think?" *Insert Game Options here*

I saw another theory saying that if this is true, Jax might be self aware or sentient to some degree, and This is why he tortures everyone. He knows that this world Revolves around the players and nit him so he wants to make them more miserable.

-OKAY, NOW WHAT (I) WEVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... THE WHOLE DEAL WITH CAINE GLITCHING OUT AN' STUFF!

As one of many Caine angst connisuars on this platform, I really enjoyed this scene...

Caine knows that he only exists to make adventures and if he can't do it well enough than he serves ZERO purpouse and his existence is useless... (he's just like me fr)

This has SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR A SERIES FINALE.

Since in each episode we've (mostly) seen a character being comforted (mostly Either Pomni being comforted OR someone being comforted BY Pomni)

What if the last episode had Caine and Pomni having a heart to heart?

(Shutup this is not about showtime I swear let me have this-)

Someone abstracts, (Ragatha or Kinger probably,) and it's Caine's last straw. He finally breaks and the circus goes into ruins. Pomni does her best to comfort him. This could go one of two ways:

Either she sucseeds and happy ending for everyone :D

OR, they fail and The Circus is destroyed, Taking Caine down with it.

Maybe then that would be how they escape cuz if Caine is emotionaly attached to the circus, it would be completely destroyed or erased if Caine finally broke...

The angst potential is crazy...

This is terrifyingly close to what I wanted to do with R-M AU UHHH I MEAN-

Anywayyyy I believe that's all! If yall have anymore theories lemme know!!

[tiredsmashbros]

HII UHH SO

I've been thinking about making a comic w ur oc, Im pretty sure his name is tsb??

basically, smg4 and him get into a fight for uh obvious reasons lmfao, the argument was gettin heated, and 4 ended up accidentally saying some hurtful shit like always, causing tsb to be like "BITCH-" and slapped em pretty hard, knocking dat meme boi to le ground, making 4 get the beeg sad 😖 (I portray 4 as being pretty sensitive to getting slapped sjrjskfjksj)

tari was watching the fight go down aaand when she saw tsb hurt 4 she was like "nahh bro that's crazy💀💀💀" and left with her meme boi leaving tsb in the room to be EXTRO DEPPRESO😔😔😔

so I was wondering if I could draw it sometime and post it!! tbh, I barely know anything about your character, but I think he has a lot of angst potential 🤭

if u don't want me to post it it's completely fine!! i jus wanted permission and maybe some more facts about tsb before I post it :)

if u haven't seen my drawings, here's a pretty good example of it!!!

POST IT. YES. YES A MILLION TIMES YES. I LOVE COMICS SO MUCH I WOULD GO OVER THE MOON IF YOU {OR ANYONE} ACTUALLY DID A TSB COMIC OH GOD OH MOLLY OH HELL, AND I AM LOVING UR VISION YESSSSSSS ANGSTTT GYIUHDWSEDCS DESPITE IM A HAPPY ENDING/SECRET TWIST GUY I GENUINELY FIND ANGST TO BE SO MUCH FUN- and horrifying... BUT FUN!!!!!!!!

{straight-up idk why, but this ask reminded me of my film era last semester when i was a film director IOHUGIHBDCSCDSA IDK IT WAS FUNNIER AND CHARMING IN MY HEAD AAAAAAAAAAAAA now i have to draw myself with shorter hair smh sad. i also dont know if u have a sona/oc so i just drew the character/smg4 from ur profile icon iuigyuhjecdwsxiuhj AND I LOVE UR ART IT'S SO CUTEEEE UYOGIXZGUIHXZDXFCGHVJBKNLM}

if ur really worried about getting tsb down correctly or getting to know more of him, i suggest going through the #tsb tags if u haven't already!! esp art/stuff from me specifically if ur looking for something certain/canon to tsb's character. i got some asks i've been itching to get to that will be more focused on lore-drop if u're willing to wait just a bit for me to get to! if u got smth more specific in mind u can't find, pls don't be afraid to dm me !!! :DD

[sadvid]

camp camp makes me insane ramble. do not click more unless you are so so very insane

camp camp is gonna make me go fucking insane i can't fucking do this anymore there is NOTHING!!!!!! NOTHING!!!! ALL THEY DID WAS GIVE US TINY PISS DRRROPLETS WITH ONE EPISODE FINALE SAYING MAXS PARENTS DONT CARE AND DAVID SAYING YOU DONT DESERVE THAT AND NOW IVE BEEN IN THE TRENCHES FOR YEAAAARSSS. i have read fics with over 100k words i have drawn so many things and imagined so many scenarios with angst and hurt/comfort and stupid stupid thoughts that would never ever happen in the show in a million years HIS ASS IS NOT GETTING ADOPTED DADVID IS NOT REAL GWENVID IS A SICK JOKE i love them so much you don't understand. i forgot to take my meds. oh my goddddd. THERE ARE LIKE THREE CAMP CAMP FANS LEFT BECAUSE THE REST WERE NORMAL PEOPLE WHO JUST WATCH THE SILLY CAMP CARTOON THAT SAYS FUCK. they dont wonder about the possibilities of a sad ten year old rejecting happiness but slowly allowing himself to be vulnerable and loved by a counselor who is surrounded by hate and despondency but stays positive despite despite despite because nobody else will and he wants to be the source of happiness that he wish someone was for him. NO! they say HAHA the ten year old said fuck! oh my god the non swearing counselor said fuck too that's so profound! oh no the ten year olds parents bad :( HAHA NOW HES BALD!!!! and after a month of the show being gone they LEAVE because they're NORNAL!!!!! but i. I AM IN THE TRENCHESSSSS. you have no idea you have no idea. listen maybe i'm just a little insane because i am a max who needs a david JUST MAYBE! and i think this is just a lot of me projecting my desperate need for love and my simultaneous rejection and fear of it onto max. And my need for someone to keep persistently and loudly loving me no matter how much i reject it. PROBABLY!!!!! i don't care i don't care how fucking insane i sound I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY I COULD talk about this show for hours i wish i didn't have job or school or life so i could write and anímate camp camp season 6 7 8 9 10 infinity and kill the warner brothers and write 500k word ao3 fics. IM INSANE. i am picking up crumbs and calling it a wedding cake do you understand. god i'm i i i i i i i i it's 2024 it's been too long too many years of this.... too many got damned years. every time i pick up a pencil i draw max camp camp. i have drawn david's stupid fucking face so many times its probably become the shape of my brain wrinkles. i go feral thinking about gwen's hair looks like down or what the fuck these characters last names are. Can you fucking believe i hyper fixated on a character whose last name i dont even know. hey who's that small angry fucker you're always doodling. uhh max. max who. max... camp camp. WHO?!!! DAVID?!!? DAVID ATTENBOROUGH?!?! MAX CAULFIELD?! i'm going to set myself on fire. i really truly am. i love them i live for nothing but a ghost child on an island and a silly friend trio. when will it end. when. i love them if you couldn't tell

[coolattasclown]

important welcome home discoveries

the doodles on the guestbook are by wally!! confirmed by their names. Pngs are named after what wally says. I wont post every image here but here are some important ones i have so far

first off: wally has access to the website somehow, i believe in the physical world as a puppet as he mentions quite a bit he is a puppet (also. he is not horrified by this realization. which means hes ok with being a puppet. good for him! or them. i dont actually know)(also, all of these are addressed to the guests)

Barnaby and Frank are mentioned as speaking to wally, so i am assuming they are puppets as well in the physical world. I also believe somewhere on the website it mentions sally and howdy being found in a box somewhere? horrible implications if they are also alive but-

in these images Wally comments on how he doesn’t know what a wiggle or clown is, and frank or barnaby tell him. leads me to think that wally is pretty childish and doesn’t know a lot- which makes sense because in children’s shows like Sesame Street the main character is a child like the viewer.

Wally says he will mail a letter to Eddie for the guest. he also says he will tell Julie that a guest loves her. So the other neighbors likely have no access to this board or the website itself.

“its ok to frown. you are still my friend” SOBBING AND CRYING!!

TLDR: Im not finished with all of the pages yet, but so far it seems like Wally is a childish friendly artist who loves his neighbors very much. He doesn’t know a lot of words and there are also a few spelling mistakes here and there, and the neighbors seem to help him out with this. Frank and Barnaby are mentioned and talk to Wally, and their relationships seem friendly. Julie, Eddie, Howdy, Poppy, and Sally are mentioned however I’m unsure if Wally interacts with them. Somewhere on the website it says the Sally puppet and Howdy puppet were found in a box (horrifying if they are sentient puppets. poor guys :( also wally is a puppet and is ok with that) uhh what else. idk but YEAH!!!

[hana-bobo-finch]

OKAY!!! GUESS WHO SPENT THE WHOLE DAY WRITING THIS OUT. THATS RIGHT, IT’S PUMPKIN DADDY TIME. this is gonna be a (VERY!!!) long one so be warned

So. Finch. Pumpkin daddy. Whatever ya wanna call him, he’s a complete maniac!!! (I WILL BE REFERRING TO HIM AS PUMPKIN DADDY THROUGHOUT THIS BUT PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU, JUST CALL HIM FINCH. YOU DONT HAVE TO GO AROUND SAYING PUMPKIN DADDY UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO) Yippee !!! There’s no easy way to begin explaining this fool but it is what the people want so ok.

As the name of pumpkin daddy’s book club implies, he’s essentially the main character meaning there’s the most to go over with him. I’ll try to remember everything but I’ll probably forget some stuff, but what I do forget will probably be pretty unimportant so it doesn’t really matter if I don’t go over every single detail. Also I’ll be retreading some things I’ve already went over so skip over those if you’re a seasoned pumpkin daddy expert. Also might be a bit messy because I’m really just piecing together random parts, I’ve never actually made a full timeline. WHATEVER pumpkin daddy rant begins now

Brief timeline summary before I get into the miscellaneous side details.

FIRST OF ALL. as a young lad he was chillin in a pumpkin patch for some reason and OH GOOD HEAVENS he got attacked by some pumpkin-patch-dwelling-feline-like-creature. With the power of plot armor he was preeeetty much fine, somehow, but the creature (still don’t know what it is uhh I’ll think of it someday) had remnants of gourd on it and thusly poor little soon to be pumpkin daddy got an infection that made it so he could turn his head into a pumpkin (and part of his upper body I guess) and thus, the monster known as Pumpkin Daddy was born.

Sometime after this his parents just kinda checked out of existence. That makes it sounds like they’re dead, they’re not. I briefly touched upon this phenomenon in a previous post and I don’t expect you to dig back to find it but essentially, TBYTF (fairy thingy) can make people go into catatonic states where they’re basically stuck inside their own head so. That is what happened to them. Functionally dead but eh they got a heartbeat I guess. It’s called a catatonic illusion, keep this in mind for later. Point being, they were outta the picture. Ya’d think that’d traumatize ol’ pumpkin daddy but he legitimately could not give less of a fuck about any of that. is he repressing his emotions is he denying it? NO he just does not care for whatever reason and is Very confused why people think it should’ve messed him up. Anyhoo he still needed SOME sort of legal guardian so he went to DINO MA’AM!!!

yeaaahh that’s right his grandmother is a literal dinosaur!!! I do NOT know the logistics of it but she is a dinosaur of unspecified species and you’re just gonna have to accept that. She’s called Dino ma’am. Not much is known about her as she’s not really that important, except that she used to be roommates with Turtlemeister and she loves making people dinner. No other meals, just dinner. She will get very sad if people don’t show up for dinner. Unfortunately for her, pumpkin daddy rarely shows up for her dinners because he doesn’t really like/care about her all too much. The two have like. No real bond. Dino Ma’am also (potentially) has an evil twin named Dino Maim who killed Dino ma’am and sent the polaroids of her corpse to pumpkin daddy but…..I do not know the validity of that plot point because I made it up as a joke because I wrote “maim” instead of “ma’am” once. So who knows if that’s actually true to the plot. Doesn’t really matter.

I hate writing backstories in childhood because I hate writing about children. Thusly he hasn’t much backstory in earlier years. All I really have before the actual story starts is all of that stuff and also he would break into spillways to go swimming. “Isn’t that Extremely Fucking Dangerous” YES!!! truly by some miracle he never drowned and instead he developed great swimming skills after doing this for years and years. He also encountered the legendary Ginji Way, the warden of the spillway, a wannabe cowboy who rode around on his horse Jerry patrolling the area. You’d think Ginji would kick him out and you’d be wrong! Ginji is there illegally too, he has no permission to be there either. He just does it for fun. Not much came of their interactions though except that pumpkin daddy developed an intense hatred for Jerry the horse. He may have kidnapped Jerry and given him laser eyes but I do Not know yet.

Aaaanyway the main timeline begins now okey dokey. At the ripe old age of 17 he formed a group dedicated to studying TBYTF. It was a very small group, only consisting of him and two others, Bingo and Mole (They’re important but not to this). In a desperate attempt to get any sort of information on TBYTF he told his co-workers at the crappy drink joint he worked at to give anyone who mentioned TBYTF his contact information. Somehow this worked and he managed to recruit Gourdie!!! woaaaghhh his wife BUT ALAS their initial meeting was not love at first sight. Gourdie didn’t think the whole pumpkin head thing was as cool as he did. Woe. Also she accidentally made him cry by mentioning King Arthur (will get to that later on). Nonetheless Gourdie agreed to join his group and they pretty quickly fell in love (EEEEEWWWW). Also during this time he somehow managed to become a fucking Olympic swimmer?? We can only assume the swimming competitions in this universe are sorely lacking in any true talent. Either way it certainly made Gourdie impressed with him.

Anyhoo, being the unfortunate combination of brash, obsessed with doing things as soon as possible, and slightly stupid, the pair decided to get married when they were both only like 20. Awesome idea, I’m sure this will end well for them!!! Buuuut for the time being they were happy together and continued their studies of TBYTF.

Sometime after their marriage (which went horribly may I add, long story there. Their vows were sabotaged. By uh. O’chunks from super paper mario. I will have to change that eventually but for now I’m keeping him as a placeholder because I think it’s funny) our old pal pumpkin daddy got into some trouble! Eeeeeyikes! He was a pro wrestler but WHOOPS his friend tried to kill him during a match!!! Uh oh!!! To be fair he miiiiight have been demonically influenced at the time but still!!! Not cool man!!! Pumpkin daddy’s plot armor finally failed him and he was hurt pretty damn bad! He survived of course but his back ended up being, in simple terms, all screwed up, among other things. So that pretty much put an immediate stop to his prior careers, considering it’s rather hard to swim when you are constantly going “eeeyyyoowwch my back :(“

But moving on!!! Alas, as if he did not have it bad enough already, the doctor with him was my beloved bellona (I have yapped about her before, don’t remember where or when but I have before). They felt nothing but pure contempt towards one another!! They essentially tried to make each other’s lives hell in an eternal loop of revenge. Ironically it was through this unending revenge cycle that they ended up being able to tolerate each other’s existence (though they definitely weren’t friends. In fact they never did really each that level of toleration). This eventually blossomed into, as I said, not exactly a friendship, but more of some mutual respect and backwards enjoyment of each other’s company, in a “I hate you so fucking much it fascinates me and I want to hang out with you” kind of way.

Skipping over a lot from that time for the sake of keeping this at least somewhat brief—crabs. Crabs are a protected species in this universe and thusly eating them is strictly prohibited. But pumpkin daddy wanted crabs. He NEEDED crabs. And so he discovered a black market crab restaurant atop a mountain which, coincidentally, was in the same mountain range where his group was studying TBYTF—in fact the restaurant was on the point nearest to where TBYTF resides. This restaurant was surprisingly very fancy, like marble floors, chandeliers, grand pianos, this place was ELITE for being an illegal crab restaurant. Pumpkin daddy would of course go here often, generally every weekend. After a while and after growing a bit more tolerant of her, he agreed to show Bellona the place as she wanted to go there too (aka she followed him there despite his constant yelling to go away and stop following him and he’s going to call the police and blah blah blah. He eventually gave in and let her come with him but for the first few times she was, for all intents and purposes, just straight up stalking him). So they’d go there along with, occasionally, Gourdie, and they’d just hang out and study TBYTF I guess (there’s a lot more to it but again this is just a brief overview of things, if I were to get into the details we’d have to go over tridents and the song arabesque by friedrich burgmüller and astronomy and broken guitars and attempted murders and blah blah blah that’s all just not important).

The Briar Zome was also discovered during this time (again I have a post on that, one of the first PDBC posts I made I think) which led to the creation of the Alcoves, which are a series of pocket dimensions similar to the briar zome. Creation might not be the right word for it, he more so discovered how to reach the alcoves. Point is he made this huge discovery and what he did with it was simply make a pathway to the alcoves in his house and simply treated the alcoves like just another area. Could go into further detail but it’s not really important right now.

During this time pumpkin daddy truly earned the name pumpkin daddy, as he and Gourdie had a kid!!! Woah!!! awesome right? WRONG. turns out, to the horror of everyone involved, the whole pumpkin head thing is hereditary. whoops. Didn’t really affect too much at first, I mean despite the kids head being a literal gourd he was otherwise just an average human being. But pumpkin daddy gave him a terrible name! Extraordinarily!!! Shortened to Extra!!! What kind of name is that!!! Now that I think about it, it’s kind of stupid that it’s seen as an atrocious name in-universe when there are characters named stuff like mole and parasite. Ah well.

Things were fine for a bit until pumpkin daddy and Gourdie broke up. Mostly because pumpkin daddy was like “look, research shows that you should not create a fish child nor should you get involved with an extremely dangerous demonic entity” and Gourdie was like “screw you man I can do whatever I want.” As people they still loved each other but boy is it hard to stay together when your significant other worships a being that your studies have shown is Very Bad and she doesn’t believe you!!! Another issue was putters. yall remember putters? Putters was Gourdie’s dog. Pumpkin daddy absolutely despised putters. I won’t go too into putters because she really isn’t important but yeah. Putters would live in the floorboards and screw things up. She also had eyes that pumpkin daddy thought were incredibly frightening. I’m actually really pissed off because I wrote a poem about putters from pumpkin daddy’s perspective at a writing camp and at the end of the week they were SUPPOSED to send out the finished book containing all the work, but I haven’t gotten it yet. And it was supposed to come in early September and it’s almost November now. Screw you unnamed writing class I can’t say the name of without doxxing myself. So who knows if I’ll ever see it. Very unfortunate because even though the poem itself was kinda crappy I still loved it, and I don’t have a physical copy of it. I can only hold out hope someday I’ll see it again…anyway

The final straw was when pumpkin daddy decided to buy the island they lived on. She was incredibly pissed off by that and they split up. Did pumpkin daddy end up buying the island? YYYYUUUPPP. the former island owner was a total pushover and pumpkin daddy basically just waltzed in and demanded the island and the old owner was just like, yeah sure dude go wild. And thus he bought the island (when Gourdie found out about it she was INCREDIBLY pissed off and started a clan out of pure pettiness, but I’ve talked about all that before). And thus Fincg island was born. He made a typo while typing out the official name, whoops. Don’t ask me how fincg is even pronounced cause I dunno.

As Extra grew up, they became VERY resentful of pumpkin daddy. Pumpkin daddy was a legitimately good father but Extra had to deal with the fact that their head was a fucking gourd because of him and they were incredibly ashamed of that to say the least. Basically they hated pumpkin daddy for creating them because WHY WOULD YOU PROCREATE WHEN THERE WAS THE CHANCE YOUR CHILD WOULD BE A PUMPKIN. so extra went to live with Gourdie until they could move out entirely.

Around this time, pumpkin daddy developed the Patch. I got a post or two delving more into that if you want to waste more time reading through my nonsense, but yup he discovered how to create customized life forms and growing them like they’re trees or somethin. Why he did it in the first place? Excellent question!! I have no idea!! Probably for the same reason he bought an entire island, out of pure curiosity if he could. Alas he never considered if he should. That or it came from that fact that he always wanted to be able to asexually reproduce like fungi. Oh to be a mushroom, spreading spores everywhere….anyhoo, somehow for a first attempt he did a pretty good job at doing the seemingly impossible, and on October 31st whatever-year-it-was he harvested the first hybrid, whom he named Fina. He loved Fina SO MUCH. he made hundreds of hybrids over the years but Fina was always his obvious favorite, she was basically his new child now that extra absolutely hated him. But things did not stay well with Fina!!! She ended up falling in a vat of what is called TBYTF gel (again I’ve yapped abt this before but for a summary! It is the excretions of TBYTF, and being in it for too long causes one to permanently be in a state of semi-influence from tbytf. This is called being an “arm” as they’re essentially now a mini version of tbytf). Pumpkin daddy fell in as well because he’s an idiot and has a tendency to fall into large vats of liquid, but he got out before he sustained any permanent damage. He managed to get Fina out after a couple minutes and she was seemingly fine aside from slight hypothermia, but YIKES!!! SHE WAS NOT FINE nobody knew right away because there was no research into that type of thing at the time, but you guessed it, she was an arm of tbytf now!!! Unfortunately pumpkin daddy was completely oblivious to the fact and even when many years later it was brought up like “your child is probably going to kill someone” he was like like nooo not her!! she’s so awesome she wouldn’t do that, why would you even think of that :(

MOVING ON there were no major events for a bit, at least ones that would fit here in this brief timeline. Mostly just the beginning of traditions, conflicts starting to arise, etc etc etc. Clan tension was already brewing as one of the clan leaders sorta went off the deep end and fell in love with a sentient eyeball which resulted in her ripping out one of pumpkin daddy’s eyes. But he was fiiiiiine. Also around that time, he and Gourdie got back together!!! Briefly!!! For a while it was on and off but yeah he managed to convince her that he wasn’t completely incompetent. Good for him. Whilst they were back together, Bellona decided to move back home, meaning they’d proooobably never see each other again. Gourdie was heartbroken and pumpkin daddy was…somewhere in between sad and indifferent. Either way they all spent the next couple months hanging out together (simple way of saying they almost got arrested in paris). But yes she eventually moved back home and life continued on as normal, just without someone to constantly torment 😔

Again, nothing too major around this time, things mostly calmed down (at least for pumpkin daddy) and things became stagnant for a few years. On and off relationship with Gourdie, new hybrids being made each year, trying to prevent civil war from breaking out, being a complete menace to society, such things like that. He also might’ve kidnapped two people and ripped their eyes out but he apologized so it’s ok (NO IT’S NOT). Political unrest was brewing. Obviously, there was the unending tension between the clans—especially between he and the Ramsay clan, as they were constantly in controversy, and they were put in charge of his old TBYTF-studying group and they were running it straight into the ground—but there was an overall consensus towards pumpkin daddy that “yeah this guy is wack, he needs to go.” This sentiment was founded by one of his own hybrids, that being one named Mercury. Mercury was tampered with by Fina while he was being created. Fina turned mercury against pumpkin daddy, mostly by convincing him that pumpkin daddy was the one who screwed him up while he was being created (sort of harkens back to extra and the whole “father, why the fuck did you create me” kind of thing) and mercury went on to lead a campaign to get pumpkin daddy publicly executed. Put a bounty on him and riled up the people to capture him and hang him. People were slow to accept this but they soon agreed with mercury’s sentiment (especially those in rivaling clans) and there was a nationwide competition to find and hang pumpkin daddy. Mercury eventually realized that Fina was completely lying to him, and despite still being against pumpkin daddy he attempted to quell the mob. It was too late though, and soon many were after the fame and reverence that would come with being the one to capture this monster. They never did, of course, turns out he’s incredibly good at escaping, but the point remains that there was a huge amount of people actively trying to kill him.

He tried, and mostly failed, to patch things up to avoid complete war breaking out, but things were looking grim.

Firstly there was a consensus between the clans that yeah, the Ramsay clan needs to go, so they mutually decided to revoke its status as a clan, and bomb the headquarters for good measure. The Ramsay clan was NOT happy about this, and to make things worse, the other clans began to get upset as they realized more than ever before that pumpkin daddy was just in general absolutely screwing everything up. Pretty much everything was falling apart at the seams after years of keeping it together with duct tape and a prayer. Tensions were at an all time high, huge companies were falling, all that fun stuff. During this time a prominent member of a rivaling clan mistakenly ended up in the alcoves and was utterly traumatized by it! Turns out the alcoves are extremely dangerous if you don’t know where you’re going and pumpkin daddy pretty much just watched like “idk what to tell you man” as this poor guy tried and failed to escape over and over. Didn’t end on a bad note though, as pumpkin daddy eventually stopped just watching the guy flail around and nearly get killed and decided to help him. He didn’t help him get out, mind you, he just helped him not feel ashamed for being dyslexic but HELP IS HELP. the two were thusly on good terms which was NOT helping the situation considering they were supposed to be sworn enemies. After a bit more fighting and raiding places because some butterfly-freaks stole precious artifacts, and other plot points I legitimately forgot about because they never went anywhere, whoops, it was decided that the pumpkin clan and fish clan would merge in an attempt to smooth out issues. This did the opposite!!! Long story short the one guy who was holding everything together was killed and all out war broke out, and pumpkin daddy and Gourdie’s relationship fell apart once again after a decade of being on good terms. Whoops!!! Very bad timing too, as it was right before the harvest festival, a week long celebration starting on October 31st. Incidentally, he did actually did get captured during this time and was about to be hung, but the person who captured him was a good friend of the guy who died and she was so broken up about it she didn’t have it in her to, you know, execute him. So he lucked out there. In fact he managed to befriend her (maybe not befriend, more so she lost the only friend she had so eh why not cling to this weirdo who’s trying to help me through my grief) so he was off the hook once again.

It soon became very apparent though that pumpkin daddy had zero idea what he was doing and was just making things worse, so Bellona, who heard of all the shit going on, decided to go back and try to knock some sense into him because CLEARLY he was not handling things well in the slightest. This was a terrible idea!!! Uh oh!!! When she went back there she was recognized as being affiliated with pumpkin daddy and was killed. Whoops!!! The news of course reached pumpkin daddy and Gourdie (AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE JOKES IN IT ALL HAPPENED AT THIS POINT BUT THE JOKE DOESNT MAKE SENSE ANYMORE BECAUSE I HAD TO CHANGE SOME STUFF AROUND NOOOOO RIP TO THE JOKE ABOUT COOKIES AND CREMATED REMAINS, YOU WERE A REAL ONE) and that absolutely screwed up pumpkin daddy. The illegal crab restaurant was also discovered and was reported, being burnt down and the owner was arrested. That was probably for the best though, that guy was a bit of a jerk. But again THAT didn’t help things at all cause now his precious crab restaurant was gone. At least he still had the harvest festival right!!!???

Uh wrong!!! Due to Fina being a little shit, the patch was completely destroyed and a hybrid he had who reminded him of Bellona was killed in the process and uhhhh yikes he did not take it well!!! He still had to put on a show while he was pretty much dead inside and it was quite uncomfortable for everyone!!! He pretty much lost literally everything he had in like a week so yeah he was not having a good time! But there was one glimmer of hope! Sort of!

Yeees that’s right, the negotiations. It was decided upon that the clans (mainly the pumpkin and jørgan clan) would come together in unity as a last ditch effort to stop the war. It would all be one big happy celebration, except it wouldn’t, because it also doubled as a funeral for some of the people who died. Still though, some were hoping it would ease things and life could go back to normal

You guessed it, it did not!! Extra heard of all this and, despite still being on rough terms, decided to go to the negotiations. Not to celebrate or anything, to warn pumpkin daddy that Fina is absolutely trying to kill him, and to try to tell Gourdie to please stop denying that tbytf is bad, it’s obvious to everyone. He mostly knew of fina’s antics due to befriending some of the hybrids and they were like “yeah she’s kinda suspicious.” So he reluctantly went off to be the bearer of bad news, because he could tell things were coming to a head and things werent gonna end well. And he was pretty much spot on, pumpkin daddy barely got to do anything at the negotiations before Fina trapped him in a catatonic illusion and stashed him in a bathroom stall! Catatonic illusions are, as I’ve explained before, basically being dead to the world and stuck in some hellish illusion in your mind. So pumpkin daddy was stuck in one for like, 3 weeks? The illusion mainly consisted of these acid-trip-like experiences with Christmas music and snoopy and Roman soldiers but that’s not really important right now. Outside of the illusion, everyone was incredibly confused on where he went and growing very impatient because they couldn’t start without him. How did nobody find him? Well they did, actually. Extra did, to be more specific. But nobody believed him because by that point they had gone full on lord of the flies and were more interested in creating child fighting tournaments than listening to him. So extra did the only logical thing to do and slapped the shit out of pumpkin daddy. This of course worked, and he managed to explain the situation. This is a very inaccurate way of describing it but in my defense, this was one of the longest sections of it, and when I looked back at my notes to see what I had for this part I had almost the entire script for it soooo I’m not gonna write it all out.

Point is, pumpkin daddy was passed out in the bathroom for weeks while everyone else was fighting to the death. But anyhoo, once he was awake (and extremely disoriented) Gourdie and Extra (mostly Gourdie) decided it was a probably bad idea to tell him Fina was…the way she was immediately after he woke up, so they decided to let the matter go for just long enough for him to get his bearings. That plan fell through though, because of course it did, because the second they looked away from him for one second, pumpkin daddy had vanished. Fina of course took the opportunity to put him in another illusion (she didn’t have the power to do another catatonic illusion so now he was on the loose and not knowing what the fuck is going on). The negotiations begun and, to prevent Gourdie from helping pumpkin daddy, she sicced her army of trained squirrels on her and disappeared.

SO UH things were not going well!!! Pumpkin daddy was looking everywhere for Fina, climbing on the ceiling like a spider monkey, all while also hallucinating that snoopy was mauling everyone. Everything pretty much went to shit at this point and nobody had any idea what was going on. Pumpkin daddy was on the loose screaming about snoopy, extra was trying to calm him down and explain the situation, Gourdie was gravely injured and trying to figure out what the hell to do, and Fina was trying to convince pumpkin daddy everything was totally fine. He eventually snapped out of his illusion though and was, once again, very disoriented and attacking people. Nevertheless, the negotiations went on. But right as they were about to be finalized, he made a grave mistake.

He coughed on the cake. Yes, that’s right, Fina had a cake for the celebration (what better time than a funeral to have a sugary confection?). A wonderful cake, custom made by only the best bakers. And in pumpkin daddy’s ill, confused stupor, he coughed on it. For whatever reason, this is what pushed Fina over the edge. She completely snapped and let go of any facade of being this innocent confused hybrid, shoved him against a wall, took off her heels and threatened to slit his throat with them. It all clicked in an instant as to what was going on for pumpkin daddy, but he couldn’t get himself to fight back. Extra and Gourdie (and one other guy who I haven’t really mentioned yet) successfully restrained her, while everyone else was still in fighting-tournament-mode and were making bets on who’d win. While everyone was fighting, fires and mudslides came in and resulted in everything being somehow even worse (long story there, just go with it. There are fires and mudslides).

Once the dust cleared, pumpkin daddy was just…gone. Completely vanished. All that he left in his wake was a small book with some writings in it and a cryptic email. But what actually happened to him, nobody knows. It’s unlikely he’s dead as no body was ever recovered despite months of searching. So uh. Who knows what the hell happened to him? Gourdie led multiple attempts to find him but again, he just never turned up. Over the next few months the island was renamed, the clans disbanded…pretty much any mark he left was gone, yet his legacy is still painfully lingering everywhere.

Definitely not somewhat inspired by song lyrics hahahaha speaking of which have I ever mentioned how much I love the song can’t catch me now (YES I HAVE) I think I should talk about it more (NO I SHOULDN’T) ANYHOOOOOO that’s the basic timeline. This turned out way longer than I expected so I won’t be able to go over as many miscellaneous details as I’d like to. Eh. Maybe sometime else. But for now:

•HE’S SCARED OF GLOVES!!! Nobody knows why despite numerous attempts to find out or to get rid of the fear entirely. It’s not just WEARING gloves that’s terrifying, being in the mere vicinity of one is terrifying. This applies to all gloves of all kinds (with one singular exception who I will get to soon). This aversion to gloves results in, predictably, him getting frostbite a lot as he lives in a colder environment, which earned him the nickname “the frostbite maestro.” He has somehow avoided any serious cold-related injuries. He just has excellent plot armor in that regard I suppose. The worst glove of them all is Hamlet, a demonically possessed, foul smelling ski glove who tormented pumpkin daddy by making his life hell and then laying completely still when he would try to show Hamlet’s sentience to anyone. So basically, hamlet gaslit everyone into thinking pumpkin daddy had gone completely nuts. Hamlet was eventually thrown into a fireplace to burn, but his smelly ghost remains. The BEST glove, on the other hand, is Lucretius the magic nitrile glove!!!

Nobody exactly knows why pumpkin daddy sees Lucretius as the one “good” glove. Most likely it’s because he first saw Lucretius while high off his ass on anesthesia but again, who knows. Either way, Lucretius is an allegedly magical glove who is a simple blue nitrile glove with a mustache and bow tie drawn on. Luckily, for you Lucretius lovers out there, I have a visual representation:

Real life Lucretius, I love him so much. Anywayyyyyy Lucretius is the one “good” glove. Pumpkin daddy loved him. I say LOVED because Lucretius met an unfortunate fate as he was eaten by a woodpecker, dubbed Mr woodpecker. Fortunately, Lucretius was rescued, as pumpkin daddy tracked down the woodpecker and killed him (and maaaaybe ate him afterwards but that could’ve just been an empty threat) and saved Lucretius, though Lucretius was heavily damaged in the incident. Lucretius soon got a “replacement” (nothing could truly replace Lucretius, but pumpkin daddy found a second glove similar enough to Lucretius that he found it somewhat tolerable to be around, so it was Lucretius’s spiritual successor) but that replacement was once again stolen by a woodpecker, assumedly the previous woodpecker’s wife, Mrs woodpecker. The replacement was, again, rescued, but Mrs. Woodpecker’s fate is unknown. Alas, no other gloves have been tolerable to pumpkin daddy, something he is very harsh in letting it be known. like he called someone a sadist for knitting gloves. Although he could probably outlaw gloves all together he for some reason keeps them legal (what a good leader) but insists they stay far away from him and that the word “glove” be censored in the media.

• He has way too many pets. Like an absurd amount. Yet somehow he still manages to take care of all of them. Most likely he has the hybrids help him with all of them. For one, theres a herd of llamas. He uses their fur to knit sweaters and scarves. There’s a fox who’s name I can’t remember, and a second fox who’s brown. There’s Derrick and Didi the deer who he’s more so sworn enemies with, and their reindeer cousin. There’s a spider, a ladybug (deceased), a bumblebee named stove (also deceased), a black cat, a chickadee, some fish, some other miscellaneous birds, some turtles (whom he ended up giving away), and probably some others I’m forgetting. His favorite pets by far are his mice. When they die he puts them in a MAUSoleum (AHAHAHHAAHAHHA). His favorite mouse, Dinkles, was tragically killed by an evil home improvement company. But yeah he likes mice.

• He has an abnormally low body temperature?? I don’t remember what it was exactly, I think like 95 F? Point is he is extremely sensitive to any form of heat and will be downright inconsolable if it’s above 70 F. Extra is a weatherman and he specifically told them to issue warnings if it’s going to be over 70 degrees. Speaking of medical mysteries he has a plethora of them. Well maybe not mysteries per se but MAN having a gourd for a head is the least of his concerns!! He has low iron levels, low copper levels, arrhythmia, mild hyperhidrosis, severe allergies to horses, turkey, and strawberries, he has had thousands of mini-strokes, probably a heart attack, and a brain aneurysm. What is wrong with him. How is he still alive. Fun fact about the brain aneurysm though, that part actually came from the comic I sent to the author themself! They said it was funny so I can rest at night knowing that the very creator of pumpkin daddy approves of him having a brain aneurysm! And the panel where that was said I put a pikmin in the background. Idk just a random fact lmao

• HE’S SCARED OF KING ARTHUR. LIKE SO SCARED. UNREASONABLY SCARED. like with the gloves, nobody knows why. He always says he’ll explain and he never does. Whatever the reason, he cannot handle knights, royalty, and worst of all, round tables. He sincerely believes that King Arthur is real and that he’s coming after him. It’s easy to write it off as an irrational fear, but king Arthur’s sword was discovered alongside some stolen artifacts some freakish butterfly people stole, so……could have some merit to it. But yeah you can’t even mention King Arthur around him without him crying.

• He hates the number four!!! It’s his unlucky number, or so he says. It all stemmed from when he, in an attempt to reconnect with his son, played a game of Yahtzee with extra. He lost by four points and has never been the same since. The number four haunts him. He cannot stand it. SHAKES YOU AROUND VIOLENTLY. HEY. HEY. LISTEN. have you ever noticed I draw ears inconsistently? if you look at em, different characters have different numbers in their ears….yeah….you can easily disguise them in there….pumpkin daddy has a four. Idk. that’s unimportant I just want to draw attention to it because I spend way too much time thinking if a number to associate with a character.

• He has bugs in his cardiovascular system. He’s not the only one.

• Despite following his tightrope morality as he calls it (perfectly balancing good and bad thinking it’ll “even things out”) he does have the occasional moment of actual regret. Notably, he once stole a little penguin’s snow tube and was so wracked with guilt that he gave it back and didn’t show his face for like a week. He’s not a bad guy, really, he’s just…well ok he is

• He feels the need to do morning announcements every day like he’s Isabelle from animal crossing or something. Somehow his announcements are even worse than Isabelle’s as half the time something goes wrong and he almost gets himself killed somehow. They all follow the exact script yet somehow no script at all.

• There’s a gaggle of insects who harass him incessantly. Mostly consists of a bunch of mosquitoes. At first he hated them so much that he tried inhaling insecticides to rid of them (spoiler alert, did not work) but eventually he grew fond of them. The bugs are now his therapists.

• HE’S OBSESSED WITH TIME. LIKE SO OBSESSED. To the point where it is unhealthy. The reason he has managed to do so much is that he spends every waking moment doing Something because he’s terrified of wasting time. He trained himself to specifically fall asleep at 2 am and get up at 6 for the least amount of time wasted possible. He has it down to a science. Very literally in fact, he’s developed multiple time theories and ways of measuring time. He also unsurprisingly owns a lot of custom made clocks. Point is, the guy likes time maybe a little too much. He capitalizes Time in every sentence (like that) because he thinks it’s of upmost importance. He should probably chill out a little. Fun fact, I made his birthday September 17th because it is apparently “times up day” which is fitting because with every passing year he is very literally running out of time. patting myself on the back for that one, that was a lucky coincidence actually because I randomly declared his birthday as September 16th before I knew that so I just had to move it up a day. Anyway

• He’s really into astrology and stuff for some reason. Wholeheartedly believes in it to the point where he lets it dictate his opinion on things even if it goes against what he actually feels. He also was formerly friends with a genie named greenie who made his life hell but disguised it as sage genie advice. Greenie knew just how to make him tick, he’s a complete menace. After years of believing greenie’s every word, pumpkin daddy caught on and brokenheartedly cut greenie off and stopped believing in horoscopes. Woe.

• Garfield once stole his lasagna when he was lost in the mountains, which led to him almost starving to death. He was so upset over this that he and Bellona went on a campaign to kill Garfield. She really didn’t want to but he was adamant Garfield had to pay. It’s really not important to anything I just bring it up because I once made lyrics for a song going over the situation and I giggle whenever I think about the line “Belle, this cat is straight from hell”

He pretty much runs the radio industry , among…lots of other things. He has a monopoly on almost every industry. But when specifically discussing the radio—he had a radio show called FincgLIVE that was a complete fucking disaster. He was overtired the entire time and purposefully spread misinformation like how you should “wash your hamburger meat with soap and water to get all the little maggots out.” He absolutely hated doing it but felt the need to continue it anyway. He eventually quit when his roof caved in live on air and he went on a total tirade while trapped under a bunch of rubble. After that he gave up entirely and just gave the show to his secretary, who actually enjoyed hosting it, so happy ending I guess.

HE’S A COMPLETE PYROMANIAC!!! SOMEONE STOP HIM he has lit so many fires for absolutely no reason. He once burnt down a historic hotel because he was bored. Why is he like this. Somehow he only got hurt from it once and even after that he didn’t stop. If sirens sound, it is a 50/50 chance he lit something on fire again. Somehow he has never injured anyone in the process which is a miracle. It’s not his fault that things are just so flammable, they’re practically begging to be lit aflame :(

That is all for now. if you have somehow read this far uh. thanks?. uuhuhrhhhbghgghgh

[steddie-fanfic-recs]

you look at me and I just melt

by unkreativstermensch

Rating: Mature Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Character: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson Additional Tags: Gay Eddie Munson, Bisexual Steve Harrington, And He Knows It, he's very aware of it actually, Eddie's not, of his own sexuality yes, but not of Steve's, a lot of wham! references, or well quotes actually, george michael is a lyrical genius and i stand by that, and Steve does too, saying stop flirting with me is peak flirting i dont make the rules, Argue with the wall, really excessive use of italics, i'm not kidding i think i actually overdid it this time, i just can't stop, Eddie Munson's Black Handkerchief, First Kiss, Getting to Know Each Other, the homoeroticism of touching a bro's forearm, implied past stommy, If You Squint - Freeform, Implied Sexual Content, it's a fade to black sort of moment, Steve Harrington Has Bad Parents, What's new, the intimacy of laundromats, that one friends episode would agree, no beta we die like eddie's chill, Post-Stranger Things 3 Words: 6,524 Chapters: 1/1

Summary

“What in the world are you doing here?” he then asks, when he got his voice back and Steve, now kneeling on the ground sorting through the dirty laundry he brought, just shoots him a look. “Uhh…laundry?” He looks a little lost, as if he doesn’t really understand the question. “Um, yes, I can see that,” Eddie replies, shutting his book, “but why is Steve Harrington doing laundry…here? At a laundromat?” Steve frowns and turns completely around, giving Eddie his full attention now. “Well, Eddie Munson” he says, putting emphasis on it, as if to prove Eddie’s not the only one who knows full names around here. “There’s a very simple answer to that. I don’t have a washing machine…but I like to wear clean clothes. You know?” or: It’s laundry day. Eddie runs into Steve Harrington. Something’s not adding up.