#...outside of the disability we mean

[not-poignant]

Hi,

I'm not sure how to approach this without sounding like an ignorant asshole, but I'll give it a go.

I'm from a country where the Trans movement isn’t very visible, and most of what I know about it comes from the internet. I’ve never truly understood gender dysphoria. I’ve tried to listen and put myself in others' shoes, but I struggled to be genuinely empathetic. Instead, I just tried to be supportive because it was expected of me, without really getting it.

It might sound silly, but reading Underline the Black made me stop and think… Wait, is this what I think it is? Reading Efnisien’s internal monologues and introspection made me feel something—maybe not from the same circumstances, but in a way that something inside my brain clicked, and I finally saw where the pain was coming from.

I guess what I really want to say is thank you. Thank you for helping me begin to understand and for broadening my perspective. It might sound small, but it’s something I deeply appreciate. I’ve been trying for a long time.

I do feel a bit foolish realizing that it took an ABO fanfic for me to get it… but at the same time, I was also reading about your real-life experiences. Or at least, that’s how it seemed to me. Forgive me if I’m wrong.

You have an incredible talent for expression.

Anon, until you know otherwise, everyone has to start somewhere. This applies to unlearning our biases and prejudices, which we all have for something, or many things, until we unlearn them. The fact that you've even tried to be supportive of something you don't really understand is still important, and still matters. It's a step into understanding, even if you don't have it yet.

I don't think it's foolish that it took you a story to realise what you've realised! This is actually exactly why representation of diversity (in gender, sexuality, culture, race, etc.) is so important in fiction. Because it's in fiction we can be free to explore concepts that are different to our own, or that challenge us, or make us see the world differently. This is why it's so important to know it's possible to identify with a trans character, or a POC character, or a character from a different culture to ours etc. Because that's when we humanise what we previously saw as like, different, Other, hard to understand. We go 'oh that's...really relatable actually, I think I'd feel the same way if that was my experience of life' or 'I don't know if I'd feel the same way but I really understand where that person is coming from.'

Gender dysphoria is complex, and different for different people. Being able to write it metaphorically through Efnisien's journey has been really interesting for me personally, because I've been able to depict both the inner conflict of knowing that your being is not...automatically going to be accepted as normal no matter what, unless you stifle or suffocate yourself, alongside the true euphoria and joy that can come with living as your best life, or your very self.

I have once seen a good analogy which is simply: Imagine from tomorrow onwards, everyone uses the pronouns you don't associate with yourself. You are bullied and mocked unless you wear clothing that is opposite to how you want to appear to others. You are put down and treated as psychologically abnormal for finding joy in true expression, even when that expression doesn't actually hurt anyone else at all. And now tell yourself that even your loved ones, when you desperately try to explain how wrong it all feels to be treated as so different to your true self, they explain that it's just mental illness, or that you're just confused, or that you don't understand yourself, and condescend to you, and treat you like they somehow have always known you better than you know yourself. And that's when you realise you might have to choose between your true self, and your family and loved ones who don't understand, or worse, hate you.

And then imagine that's the rest of your life, but it could change in an instant, if all of society just accepted that you are who you say you are! That all of your depression, and oppression, and suffocation could literally just vanish, if everyone was like 'oh sure actually, you want those pronouns? Cool! You want to wear this clothing? I like it!!'

And that journey is very tough in the real world, even in more accepting places (the US is clear evidence of this). In Underline the Black, I get to put Efnisien in a very specific space, and show the journey in a kind of specific way that isolates it and speaks through metaphor.

My experiences are different to Efnisien's, though I am trans, I never actually started out wanting to write a 1:1 trans narrative. Like, in this universe, "conventionally" trans people exist too. Efnisien's experience is a new thing, and a separate thing, but still - as we can see - a very good metaphor as well. I like telling parts of my story, but only small parts. I am more interested in...telling healing stories where I can watch a character heal and go 'oh I would like more of that for myself, as well.'

(Also, it's better to just say omegaverse, or AOB, etc. because a/b/o without the dashes is a slur in Australia, and while I know most people don't live here! We try to avoid slurs from other countries when we can. And we can only know to do that once someone tells us!)

But yeah, no, you don't sound like an ignorant asshole at all. You sound like someone who has learned something, and has gained more understanding, and was open to doing that, and honestly anon if more people came to something they didn't understand from your perspective, acceptance and love would be a lot easier to teach people.

It's so important to read stories about characters who aren't quite like us, or aren't like us at all, because that's when we realise just how much we actually do share so many similarities, and why our differences matter too.

Anyway thank you for sharing your message with me! I really appreciated it.

[alongtidesoflight]

i swear my stepdad is so illogical AND stubborn it hurts

[andromedaexists]

"i'm literally never beating the allegations" and then the allegations are that i like skrunkly looking guys

[britneyshakespeare]

Don't tell my mom but this new puppy loves me the most

[altruistic-meme]

Hi, thank you for that post about us in the South. As a queer and disabled southerner it means a lot to see another person put it into words but also to get that reminder that we have a community here.

hey, its no problem <3 i promise you we're out there and we aren't going anywhere. it's a scary time for sure, but our communities have been through scary times in the past and we will make it just as previous generations have.

if no one else has your back, i promise you that i do. right now, we need that more than ever.

[somelazyassartist]

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[krispiecake]

you know when you get those adverts for like protein shake meal replacement bullshit products and people say shit like ‘im just so busy with work i never have the time for breakfast or lunch or dinner or snacks, so this horrible brown powder milkshake is a huge life TIMEsaver!��� and ‘its so convenient! i just swallow a glass of tasteless powder to meet my basic vitamin needs and then i have all the time my employer wants from me!’ and then you have to keep watching the unskippable ad only for the person not to become immediately radicalised by what they were just forced to say. I genuinely cannot fathom how people write these scripts, say them out loud, film these videos, edit them and publish them and nobody involved in that process is going insane. are you even listening? are you reading those words? cant you see the exploitation of workers is forcing you to stop performing even the most necessary of tasks like eating real food? and cant you see we have been so convinced that is normal that there are entire businesses and ad campaigns based on it?

food, actual real good normal food, is a human right, but also part of your culture, your family, your community. Its a source of joy, health, fun, love and creativity. please dont let these fucked up companies convince you its just time that could be better spent slaving away for the rich monsters that hold your contract.

[agayconcept]

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[the-winds-of-destiny-xxx]

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[mantisgodsdomain]

That said we have no morals or standards if we get paid enough for something so if you drop us something like $3 on Ko-fi then we are available to hash out details and we will have a go at just about Literally Anything.

[ourceliumnetwork]

listen i joke about it every so often but truly i think if i DON'T have one of the EDSes, then i have something brand new they're gonna have to name after me because like. The Signs.

[hollowporcelain]

Been thinking about it again recently and like. We kinda do wanna try using crutches for our pain + fatigue but also. social anxiety n crap (literalky nobody will care if some rwndom teenager wqlks pwst them usng crutches WHY do we feel so afraid of that 💔) and the fear of our parents thinking we "arent disabled enough" to need them is so intense idk man

[sunnywalnut]

Can confirm as a disabled person, not being able to leave my house in the first few years of my disability was GREATLY detrimental to my mental AND physical health and literally made my life worse. It is not ableist to say that. It literally is. No way of any fashion would make that claim untrue.

If your legs suddenly don't work, that doesn't mean you lack the need for vitamin d and the fucking sun. It just means that you need a little help getting out there to access it. You don't suddenly become superhuman just because you're disabled. In fact, I'd argue that disabled people need more outside time than non disabled people bc we, on average, don't really have access to it on a "normal" basis for various reasons.

Some of y'all really need to think with your brains instead of assuming that everybody who doesn't explicitly state your unique state of living wants the literal worst for you. You're literally projecting. Stop.

life actually gets better when you leave the house consistently btw like im serious

[rxc]

vent cw and self harm mention in the tags

i hate this goddmn hellpit of a world and i particularly hate men. like jesus fucking christ they ALL REALLY think they are just. better than me.

[bearfrosts]

to each their own but godddd as a physically disabled person i really hate when a character is depicted with a certain level of disability in canon, but then fans interpret that character's inability to do things as ableist for some fucking reason and make a million aus about how much happier that character would be if they just worked hard and "overcame" their disability. and in those aus the disability is ALWAYS downplayed and sometimes basically erased entirely.

can i have like, one single fucking disabled character that just can't do things and that's totally okay and normal and no one makes aus about them suddenly being able to go beyond their ability level just so they can live a "normal" life???? please???????

[gudakdalee]

NO! No, joe biden is not some friendly grandpa that gets a fond farewell and a pat of the back, like 'aw you tried', NO!!!

BIDEN IS A WAR CRIMINAL!!! JUST BC WE HAVE A TERRIBLY AWFUL ORANGE WAR CRIMINAL COMING INTO OFFICE DOES NOT MEAN OUR CURRENT AND OUTGOING PERSON WAS NOT AWFUL!

I DONT CARE IF HE WALKED INTO THE FOREST WITH SPRITES AND A BREEZE - BIDEN IS A WAR CRIMINAL THAT SENT BOMBS AND WEAPONS AND FUNDED A GENOCIDE, just like the presidents before him, AND HE SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED FONDLY