#...but i haven't done anything with it yet

[scarfanon]

three days later... "...What in the name of the great deity IS that?!" "This is the weapon I'm going to use against the Dark Lord." "Is it some kind of torture device?" "Oh no, this is far more devious. Just wait." Later still... "Great Lord of Darkness. A stranger approaches the castle. He claims to have brought a gift." "Is he armed?" "We searched him thoroughly, my liege. He was completely unarmed, save for this strange item, which he claims is part of the gift." "Send him and his so-called gift in. Should he try anything, I will smite him with my own hand."

And so...

"Sup! My name's Evan and I'm here to present you with something nobody in this world has seen before, THE first of its kind!" "It looks like some kind of chair." "It sure is!" "I have no need for a chair." "oh, I promise you haven't experienced a chair like this before! Don't judge until you've tried it!" "Hmph. Very well, I shall entertain your request, but heed my warning, stranger; if this is some kind of trick, you shall taste my blade." "Duly noted! But neither of us has anything to fear. Have a seat!" "Admittedly, this chair is more comfortable than most, but I fail to see what is so special about it." "Oh, we're not done yet! I assume your boy here has given you the item I had in my pocket?" "Yes, what is this trinket?" "Press that button right there." "GAH! WHAT THE BLAZES IS-OoooooOOOOoooohhhhh..." "That's right! You are now the proud owner of this world's first custom massage chair!" three weeks later...

"The Dark Lord has called for peace talks! How ever did you do it?" "Well, thanks to my new business partner, everyone in the kingdom will get to know the answer to that question!"

"You're not going to take up the usual tools of combat, like bows or swords, to defeat the Dark Lord?" "No. I was an engineer on Earth, and now I find myself isekai'd to a place where I'm not bound by limitations like the square-cube law or thermodynamics. I'm gonna make some REAL weird shit!"

[mooonjin]

Reminiscing

Notes: BLESS THE SECOND SEASDON OF ARCANE OH MY DAYS HES SO GOIREGOSUSSSSSS can u tell viktor is my fav :3

Pairing: Viktor x gn!reader

Summary: Years ago you and Viktor had parted ways, and for good reason. It was no longer about science to him but evolution. But evolution is the future? So why was Viktor dwelling so much on the past?

Warnings/Tags: 16+ because its bit suggestive so shooooo - tin/machine viktor, SLIGHT submissive viktor, SLIGHT submissive reader (hopefully its pg enough), swtiching, exes, trying to get back together (oof dont do that), suggestive innuendoes, touchy feely mentions — tell me if I've missed anything!

It had been years since you last saw Viktor, yet the memory of your parting remained etched into your mind like a wound that refused to heal. You remembered the way his gaze had shifted, once warm and full of curiosity, now cold and unyielding. His obsession with the Glorious Evolution consumed him entirely, leaving little room for anything—or anyone—else in his life. 

He spoke in absolutes, his words more like calculations than sentiments. You watched helplessly as the person you once knew vanished piece by piece, replaced by a man driven by a vision far beyond your grasp.

The day you walked away was devastating. You hoped, perhaps foolishly, that he might pause, might see the toll his ambition was taking on everything he once held dear. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. Viktor had chosen his path and you had no choice but to choose yours.

In the years that followed, his name became a distant echo, carried to you only by the occasional whisper of rumours. Tales of the Machine Herald, a figure deemed a God, filtered through the shadows of the world. You heard of his relentless march toward perfection, but not once did he cross your path. Not once did you imagine he would.

Until tonight.

The moment you flicked on the light in your living room, your heart stopped, the air leaving your lungs in a rush.

Someone was there.

Seated in your armchair like they owned the place, their silhouette sharp against the glow of the lamp. You froze, instincts screaming at you to run, to fight, to do anything but stand there rooted in place. For a moment, they said nothing and neither did you. The stillness stretched thin.

Then, their voice cut through the tension like a blade, calm and deliberate.

“We need to talk.”

Your chest rises and falls erratically, the sound of your ragged breathing filling the heavy silence around you. He stays where he is, his presence is unnervingly calm. The dim light catches the gleam of his golden eyes. It feels alive, almost predatory, as it fixes on you. 

“Are you done gasping for air?” he asks after a long moment, his voice gripped with impatience. The words slice through the room as if your panic were little more than an inconvenience.

“What the hell—who are you? Get out!” you exclaim, your voice raw and trembling with a mixture of fear and adrenaline. Your fists clench at your sides, your body tense and coiled, ready for a fight or flight you haven't yet decided on. Your eyes dart around the room, searching for something—an escape, a weapon, an explanation—anything that could make sense of the stranger sitting so calmly in your home.

The figure doesn’t flinch, doesn’t react to your outburst. Instead, he remained perfectly still.

“You know who I am,” he replies, his voice distorted by the rough mechanical overlay of the mask he wears. The silence stretches taut, heavy with tension, his lack of movement somehow more menacing than any action could be.

Then, with a faint whir and the soft ‘shing’ of metal, he shifts slightly. The purple artificial muscles in his left arm flex beneath the layers of metal, “And there’s no way I’m leaving until we’ve spoken."

He leans forward in the chair. You take a step back, your foot catching slightly on the edge of the rug, but you don’t dare look away from him. Another step, then another, the distance between them never feeling like enough. 

You stumble slightly as your heel brushes against the wall, your retreat halted. You were trapped between the hard surface behind you and the immovable figure in front. 

Yet he doesn’t rise. He doesn’t chase. He simply watches.

With a deliberate motion, he takes a step forward, and another, closing the space between you with ease. Panic rises in your chest, but before you can react, he’s there, leaning over you. His body is so close, trapping you between himself and the walls of your home.

“You’ve changed,” he remarks after a long pause as he regards you like an old friend. His eyes narrow slightly, taking in every detail of your appearance. 

“You look… softer,” he adds, his tone flat and dismissive, as if this change in you is something that doesn’t sit right with him. You don't miss how mechanical his voice sounds.

“Who... are you?!” The words escape in a rush. Your voice shakes, betraying the fear that is starting to creep up your spine. Who is he? Why does he feel so familiar, and yet so... wrong?

There’s no trace of recognition, no warmth in the air, just cold steel and the distant hum of something supernatural beneath his skin.

His fingers graze your skin lightly before gently grasping your chin, the coldness of his touch like ice. His grip is firm but there’s an unsettling gentleness to it. He tilts your face upward, forcing you to look into his eyes. 

You can feel the weight of his touch and yet, it feels like it’s not just physical. It’s invasive, as though he’s reaching inside, probing for something. Your neck feels exposed, your breath catching slightly as your body instinctively tenses. 

There’s nothing soft, nothing human about his stare. It’s all too alienated, too distant. The faint hum of his prosthetic arm seems to vibrate through the air, a constant reminder that whatever—whoever—this is, it isn’t entirely human anymore.

He leans in slightly, his head tilting to one side, as if pondering the absence of recognition in your expression.

His mask doesn’t convey anything, “You really don’t recognise me?” His tone carries an edge of disbelief, as though it’s almost unthinkable that you wouldn’t. He shifts his weight slightly, but his grip doesn’t loosen, his fingers still lightly holding your chin.

“Take your mask off!” your voice firmer now, though it trembles with the intensity of your frustration. The metallic distortion of his voice only makes it worse, the mechanical overlay making everything feel distant. He’s not any person you could remember, not even close.

He raises an eyebrow at your demand, "Very well," he mutters, his voice still tinged with that mechanical rasp but there's an odd calmness in it now. He pulls it free and it’s as if a veil is lifted from the air. 

What lies beneath the mask is a face you know all too well, yet so different from the last time you saw it. His features are gaunt, sharper than you remember, as if the years have carved something out of him.

His skin is pale, almost ghostly under the light. There’s no mistaking it. His eyes, though shinier, still carry a familiarity that hits you like a wave. It’s him. The man you once knew—his face, his expression, the very essence of the person he was, buried beneath the mask and the years.

For a moment, you just stare at him, speechless. He’s right in front of you now.

Real. Yet he feels like a ghost, like a shadow of the man you once knew.

"… What happened to you?" 

It’s the first thing that comes to your mind and it seems to carry the weight of everything that’s changed, everything that has shifted between the two of you over the years. 

You stare at him, your gaze traveling over the sharp angles of his face, the hardness in his eyes. This isn’t the person you once knew, the person you once trusted and once loved.

The question seems to amuse him, “What happened?” He echoes back to you, his voice ringing with that familiar accent of his. A humorless smile twists at the corner of his lips, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. The smile is dull, "Piltover happened," he adds, as if the mere name of the city is enough to explain everything.

"What happened," he says again as a growl now, “is that Zaun was cast aside—ignored, neglected, abandoned.”

His words hit you. Zaun. That forgotten, broken city that had always been on the edges of Piltover’s gilded perfection. The place that had been swallowed up by the ambitions and the indifference of those who held power.

The place where everything was left to rot, "So I made the city better, myself." His voice is steady, but there’s a dangerous edge to it now.

“And now Piltover is afraid.” 

Before you can even react, he reaches up with a swift, practiced motion, placing one hand on the wall beside your head. His fingers splayed wide, as though he owns the very space you’re standing in. 

“And you?” he asks, his voice dropping even lower, laced with taunting amusement. The question hangs in the air, thick with challenge, daring you to respond. “Are you afraid of me?”

It’s a question loaded with intent, the kind of question that isn’t meant to be answered, but to make you feel small. However there’s something else in his voice, something... hungry. His words aren’t just a challenge, they’re a test, a way for him to gauge whether or not you see the change in him. 

There’s a part of you that wants to deny it, to pretend he’s still the person you once knew, but the truth is right in front of you. This is not the same Viktor.

“You’re not a person,” you’re not sure if he can hear the quiet desperation in your voice as you speak. But as his gaze locks with yours, the chilling look in his eyes seems to confirm what you fear most. Whatever humanity once existed in him is long gone, replaced by something far more dangerous.

He’s not a person. Not anymore.

“That’s the first thing you’ve said that isn’t obvious,” he sneers, his voice dripping with disdain, “I’m as human as you, if not more so,” he rasps, his words cutting through the space between you with confidence.

There’s a hum in his voice, a certain finality in his tone. “I still have a soul—a heart. One that beats just for you.”

His claim is so absurd, so twisted. A heart that beats just for you? He sounds like he believes it, like he truly believes that his obsession, his transformation, was somehow a sacrifice made for you. 

His hand on your chin tightens and you can’t help but flinch. Here he is, speaking of love and devotion as if those words still carry any meaning. As if you’re supposed to believe him. 

“No, we parted years ago.” The statement feels heavier than you expected. His expression flickers, ever so slightly, the faintest crack in his demeanor. The bitter smirk that had curled his lips falters for just a second before settling back into place.

“We did,” he says, a blend of mockery and intimacy. He pulls back just enough to look you in the eyes. The corner of his lips quirks into a sly, humorless smirk. “I always parted you… in bed, that is.”

Your lips pressed into a thin line as if holding back the sharp retort you wanted to hurl at him.

He laughs again, this time his chuckle is dark and deep, “You remember that, don’t you?” he murmurs, his voice dropping to a low, dangerous hiss. “You remember how I used to make you scream,” he says, the statement suggestive as it sounded. 

His smile widened, the curve of his lips taking on an unsettling mix of nostalgia, “I’d drop to my knees for you,” he murmured, his voice low and smooth. “Anytime, anywhere… begging you to touch me, just where I needed you most.” His eyes burned into yours. 

His hand finally released your chin, the absence of his grip almost startling. But he didn’t pull away. Instead, his fingers trailed down your neck in a slow motion, the touch lingering just enough to make your skin prickle. When his hand slid around your waist, the shift in contact was seamless.

“You didn’t just take my heart when you left me,” he continued, his voice softening into a purr that sent a shiver down your spine. “You broke it.” Viktor whispered. His lips quirked upward again, but this time, the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“You know why we split,” you say, your eyes narrowing as you force yourself to meet his gaze, despite the suffocating proximity.

"Always in the lab,” he murmurs, his voice softening slightly, but the growl lingers beneath the surface, ready to rise again. “Late into the night, always trying to find a new way to reach the Glorious Evolution.” His lips curl into a faint, humorless smirk, as though mocking himself as much as the memory of his relentless drive. “Always chasing perfection… and always losing sight of everything else.”

His fingers continue their slow, deliberate path down your body. His hand finally reaches the edge of your shirt, pausing there for the briefest of moments before grabbing it and lifting it slowly.

The fabric drags against your skin, exposing your chest inch by inch. His gaze flickers down, and a faint smirk tugs at the corner of his lips. 

“You really are soft now,” he murmurs, "so soft."

You grimaced, "Stop it."

“Why?” He asks, his fingers moving even further down, sliding over the top of your thighs. “You don’t like it when I touch you?”

You instinctively swat his metal hand away but the moment your hand meets the hard, surface of his prosthetic, a sharp jolt of pain runs up your arm. You winced in result. 

He grabs your wrist in a sudden, forceful motion, his fingers tightening with a painful grip, “Don’t do that.” He says, a warning tone in his voice. “Don’t swat at me like I’m some filthy little pest, when you used to kiss my hands like I was your god.”

"You're no God." You try to pull your wrist free, but his grip doesn’t budge.

“I’ve never stopped wanting you.” He says, leaning down to bury his face in the side of your neck. Viktor lets go of your wrists and instead pushes himself between your legs, pinning you to the wall with his body.

“I thought of you when I was supposed to sleep.” He purrs, his voice soft and rough in your ear. “I thought of you when I woke up.”

Then, with a deliberate movement, his body shifts closer, and you can feel the undeniable pressure of him grinding against you, pushing you harder into the wall. “I thought of you when I was desperate.” 

Viktor's lips are close to your ear, his breath warm and unsteady as he speaks again, this time with a cruel twist. "You don’t even know, do you? How much I’ve ached for you." His words hang in the air. 

“I thought of the way you looked back then.” He says, one of his hands trailing back down, grabbing your thigh and wrapping it around his waist. “When I still had you…”

He presses close to you, his hips pushed firmly against yours and his body close enough that you can feel the heat from his body against your skin. “How your skin used to taste…..”

“...You need to leave, Viktor.” You murmur. He leans in just a fraction closer, his lips curling into a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. There’s no amusement there. 

“Oh, I’ll go.” He says, his lips tracing a path over your neck, leaving a trail of soft kisses over your skin.

“But not until we’ve caught up.” He lets go of your hair, one hand grabbing your thigh to keep your leg wrapped around his hip, while the other goes to your shirt, grabbing hold of the material once more.

“Maybe we should start with a little… reminiscing.”

- 

Post Notes: lol i want to make another part but wioth smut oopsise!!!!!!!!!!!! viktor is eating my brain rn

~ ~ ~

my taglist form!

[cybershock24601]

Haven't read the wingmaker job yet but keep seeing snippets from it and the best justification I have for why Illario is so different is because he's McFreakin' Losing It during the game. His house of cards is collapsing and to say he is not handling it well would be an understatement.

First, he has the cousin he's been mourning for a year and probably dealing with a very complicated mix of grief, guilt, and regret because he ordered Lucanis' death and still hasn't gotten what he wanted out of it- being made First Talon - and only lost his brother. Only to find out actually his cousin is alive, his grandmother has known the whole time and didn't say anything to him, and now his cousin is going to be coming back and Illario knows he's never going to be First Talon unless he does something. Then Lucanis is back and he's an abomination, a fate a lot of people in Thedas would say is worse than death and I'm sure Illario knows that Caterina would still pick Lucanis anyways even after she finds out what her poor boy has become.

Second, he needs to get rid of Caterina because it's clear she's not going to let him be First Talon ever. But he can't kill her. That's his grandmother who he has an incredibly complex relationship with and still craves her approval even though he knows he isn't going to get it, and after everything with Lucanis, I don't think Illario could go through with killing someone else close him considering how messed up he was after getting rid of Lucanis. Which also presents problems because is he just going to keep Caterina locked up for the rest of her days? What was the end goal in kidnapping her? I don't think Illario really thought it all through because he was panicking and had to think fast when he found out Lucanis was alive and coming back.

Third, Illario also has to deal with Zara. No matter what Illario's actual feelings towards her are, Illario still has to keep her thinking he's still interested and into her even after she betrayed him by capturing and torturing Lucanis for a year. Illario probably started making his deal with the Venetori long before you find out about it in the game seeing as he's already cozied up to Zara, so he's also having to play an entire organization for their support which probably gets a lot more complicated after he kills his main point of contact even if he likely frames it as Rook and Lucanis offing her.

Lastly, Illarrio has to think of the Crows and present himself as a properly grieving grandson and relieved that his cousin is back and manage House Dellamorte with his grandmother gone and Lucanis on contract. He's gotta gather support amongst the other Talons and allay suspicion and with so many different plates to balance and sheer emotional turmoil the guy is going through, it makes sense that he's dropping the ball on a lot of things during the game. Illario is stuck in a nightmare scenario and its one he set in motion himself with no way out and only the title of First Talon as consolation that everything he has done was worth it.

[chaotic-mystery]

Code Red | Chapter Eleven: I Only See Daylight

Pairing: No outbreak AU dbf!Joel Miller x f!OC (told in 2nd POV)

Summary: You're back in Texas after going on vacation with Joel and needless to say, shit hits the fan.

Content Warnings: 18+ ONLY MDNI. Enemies to lovers, dads best friend Joel, age gap (readers in her twenties and Joel is in his forties), slow burn, written in 2nd POV, no use of y/n, broken father/daughter relationship, daddy issues, dd/lg relationship dynamic, serious conversations about kid(s), allusions to sex & taking photos during sex, swearing, mentions of drinking, reader smokes & sometimes Joel, A new song introduced to the universe!, hidden relationship, Joel wanting to fight your dad, the start of everything falling apart. Texts shared between reader & Joel.

Authors Note: Here we are. I know I haven't touched this story since May 14th and I'm not done with them quite yet. I plan to write ahead moving forward so I don't leave anyone on a cliffhanger. This is 100000% not beta'd (I didn't want to burden anybody) so the mistakes are all moi. There's little eggs hidden of when this was written and I hope you giggle when you catch them. Thank you if you're still reading their story, I don't plan on leaving again <3

|| wc: 4.8K || divider by @/anitalenia || previous chapter || series masterlist || main masterlist ||

It had been a few days since that night Sharon came by and woke you up at two in the morning, sticking her nose in your business about Joel. 

She was only worried about your dad finding out and how he would react, she said she didn’t tell your mom and nothing seemed different when you went over to her house to drive into town to shop, but it was eating away at you if she was actually putting on a show just like you had been. 

Sharon warned you to be safe and reminded you she was there if you needed anything but the way she was going about this worried you. She failed to mention how you should break it to  Sarah and you hadn’t even begun to think about how to have that conversation with her. Do you just…show up on the porch one day and tell her you’ve been seeing her dad for almost the past year?

 Scratch that, that’s a terrible idea. It was a conversation to be had with Joel and the last thing you wanted was to feel like you were replacing her as the number one woman in his life. All you ever dealt with as a kid was your dads girlfriends making it feel like a competition for who he loved the most and unfortunately you were never a first place winner. 

“Honey? Do you like this?” Your mom’s voice becomes clearer as you’re once again yanked from the seat inside your thoughts to the present time. 

The bright green hoodie she was holding up was so bright you damn near needed sunglasses just to lay eyes on it. Every muscle in your face fights to make a disgusted look but knowing your mom would be upset, you keep a straight face and quickly scan the metal racks surrounding you for a different option to counter it. Like a magnet, the pink hoodie with chunky writing on the back nearly jumps off the hanger and into your arms. 

“I think this one is a little more me, you think?” 

She nods her head and takes it from you, throwing it over her bent arm in front of her body. She told you to pick out something from the souvenir shop and she’d pay for it, also meaning to find something for Joel. What could he possibly want from here? He wasn’t really a hoodie kind of guy, especially not down in Texas when he was outside practically all the time. He had more than enough trucker hats to last him the rest of his life. 

“So tell me more about Joel, sweetheart, what’s his normal life like?” 

“Well, he’s my boss but that happened after we started dating. Umm, I mean he’s my neighbor which was also before we started dating, promise I didn’t move closer to him just because we’re together.”

Your mom nods with a small smile, her face relaxing as you soothe her mind in knowing she taught you well not to move so fast with someone you hardly know.

“He um, he’s got a kid..” you scratch your head and spin around to look at the clothes behind you, her eyes burning into the back of your skull. “..it’s really not that big of a deal, I don’t think. I haven’t really met her yet. I don’t want her to feel like I’m trying to replace her mom or take her dad from her.” The quiver in your voice surprises you both and your mom spins you back around, rubbing your arm caringly. 

You were terrified, truthfully. Telling Sarah about your relationship scared the shit out of you. Even thinking about Joel asking you to be responsible with Sarah scared the life from you. 

“Mommy, I’m so scared. What if she doesn’t like me and he breaks up with me? I mean, I wouldn’t want him to stay with me if she’s unhappy about it. I just…I love him.” Your voice was just above a whisper and the words felt as if they were slicing your throat on the way out. 

She says nothing as her lips pursed together into a frown and pulls you into her arms, hugging you tightly. Once more you felt like a little girl needing the comfort of your mother when things got tough. 

“You’ll be okay, I know it. Listen to me-” her hands grip your face to keep eye contact with you before she continues. “-you know better than anyone what that feels like and you’d do anything to protect that little girl, even if that means not seeing him anymore. You don’t have it in you to be that cruel. Just be yourself and she’ll see how happy you make him.”

Hearing testaments about your character always made you feel weird inside. It was never easy hearing how other people see you, especially when it’s positive. You look at her and she smiles assuringly before kissing the top of your forehead.

“Come on, let’s find something for Sarah.”

_

Holding onto the little beaded keychain in your hand, your mom pulls up to the quaint cabin you unfortunately had to say goodbye to tomorrow and she rubs your arm softly. 

“You’ll be okay, sweetheart. Just be honest with him about your feelings with this. It’s all valid.” 

You breathe in deeply and release the air out of your mouth, nodding at her. 

“I’ll be fine, I just need to go see him. I love you, I’ll stop by on the way to the airport.” 

You hated goodbyes. So it wasn’t saying goodbye to her, it was just telling her you’d see her later. You kiss her cheek and grab your bag of goodies from between your legs on the floor before getting out, standing out of the way so she could pull off. Jiggling the plastic bag in your hand nervously, you dig around in your purse until you feel the smooth carton of cigarettes and lighter clanking around inside.

The gray flint rubs against the pad of your thumb as you ignite the cigarette held between your lips, walking up to the small wooden porch to sit in the white rocking chair under the window. Too many thoughts about Sarah and all the ways she could react flood your thoughts again as you take a big drag to erase it all. Joel pushes the screen door open just enough to slip through and he nudges your knee gently. 

“Hungry? Made BLT sandwiches if you want one.” Joel presses a kiss to your cheek before taking the cigarette from between your fingers and taking a drag. 

“Tempting, maybe. I got you something from town, though!” You try to make it seem like you weren’t bothered by anything but he could read you like a goddamn book.

You were his favorite one.

His eyes fell to the bright blue shirt you were pulling out of the plastic bag, chuckling to himself before he even got to see the design. You finally get it out and flip it towards him so Joel could see what you picked out for him. 

“You’ve gotta be shittin’ me. This is awesome.” 

Joel’s fingers trace over the goofy design of the state drawn as an old fashioned cartoon with feet holding it up and bright yellow letters across the top. He stares at the piece of clothing for longer than normal, continuously rubbing over the painted letters. The thought of you buying it for him, spending the time to find something he would wear, it meant a lot to him and it was written all over his face. 

“Thank you, baby. I love it.”

Joel sets it in the chair next to you and places both hands on either side of your chair, leaning down until he’s eye level with you. 

“My pretty girl, what’re you thinkin’ about in here?” As he finishes saying his sentence he bumps his forehead into yours, resting them together comfortably. 

Joel turns his face to the side for a moment to take another drag of the shared cigarette and he blows the smoke quickly to return back in position. Your eyes close as you relax against his touch, the slight breeze rustling against the trees and drowning out the sound of your mind screaming at you. The dooming thoughts of Sarah knowing about this could wait, you were here with the man of your dreams, having the time of your life and it was the last night before you had to unfortunately return to Texas and go back to hiding something you were so proud of. 

“I just wish we could run away somewhere where we don't have to hide our relationship. Where I can walk into the grocery store with you and not worry about still holding your hand, wondering if someone who knows my dad is gonna turn the corner and see it. I just- I want to love you loudly like you deserve. You aren’t meant to be a secret.”

Joel’s right hand rests on your crossed leg, rubbing your calf to ease you. 

“I’ll give you everything you could ever want and more, I swear it. How much time do I have to give it to you, though?” 

“I’ve got enough time for you, Miller. Not too long though, I’m not a patient person, ya know.” 

The thought of waiting an eternity for Joel Miller didn’t sound so bad, at least not to you. 

Every now and then you would get this feeling in your stomach thinking about Joel and how much you really did care for him and love him. It wasn’t a feeling you could quite pinpoint. The depth of sadness would overcome you just at the idea of losing him, knowing one day his footsteps wouldn’t grace this earth anymore. It was always sitting in the back of your mind, poking at you to love whatever time you got with him, because one day there wasn’t going to be this. 

“I love you, you know that?” Joel asks and kisses your lips before you can answer. 

The kiss quickly turns passionate and he backs up with your lips still glued to his, your body carrying you with every step he takes into the house. Joel leads you to the bedroom and tosses you on the bed lovingly, admiring the way your beautiful eyes glowed in the golden ray of sunlight seeping through the flowy curtains. 

“Let’s enjoy our last night here, yeah?” 

You grab your camera from the pocket of your sundress and grin at Joel, the gears turning inside his mind as he catches on. 

“To our last night.” 

_

Running on a few hours of sleep and the coffee not doing its job in your body, you yawn again as your Uber pulls up to your moms house. This was the part you were dreading the most, seeing your mom torn up that you’re leaving again. 

“Cmon, Mom, I gotta get going!” The fake happy tone was so apparent but it was easier to keep her up in good spirits if you pretended to be okay. 

Your mom comes around the corner from the kitchen, her hand towel tossed over her shoulder as she always did when she was doing dishes. She wipes her hands dry and hugs you so tight it feels like your eyes are going to pop out. 

“I love you so much, mommy. I’ll call you when I get back to Texas and I’m home safe, I swear it.” Fuck, and just like that, the quiver in your voice makes you start to break and before you can collect yourself, tears slipping from your eyes.

“I love you more, my baby. Have a safe flight, okay? Who knows, maybe I’ll come see you for the holidays in a few months.” She laughs to keep herself from crying but it only goes so far before you can feel her body jolt with every sob. 

The tight grip of her arms around your neck makes you giggle between your tears and she squeezes you once more before letting you go, standing up straight to get a good look at you before letting you leave her again and go spread your wings back to your home. 

“Come on, you’ve got a plane to catch!” 

You take her hand in yours and walk to your Uber, Joel getting out immediately to give her a hug goodbye. As you circle around the back of the car to get inside, you can’t help but notice Joel and your mom having some sort of quiet conversation you weren’t privy to. Swallowing dryly and wanting so bad to know what they were talking about, you climbed into the backseat of the car to give them privacy. Though it bothered you enough to dig your fingernail into the side of your thumb, you knew deep down it wasn’t anything bad they were sharing back and forth. 

Joel opens the door before finishing his goodbye to your mom. 

“Bye, we’ll see you soon!” He grins and gets inside the car, buckling up before waving to her as your driver starts to pull off. There was no shot in hell you could look at her as you drove away, not if you wanted to get to the airport with minimal tears.

Joel intertwined his fingers in yours and kisses the top of your hand to console you, take your mind off the fact you just left your mom again. 

It felt different this time, leaving her house. When you first left almost a year ago, you were beside yourself and so confused about what to do with your life, thinking you’d be making the right choice to chase your dad for one last shot at something with him, anything.

But, here you were now, hand in hand with the asshole you didn’t mean to fall for, crying over the two weeks you spent with him and your mom, watching him get to know her and love her the way you do. 

“Here, take this.” Joel holds out his wired headphone and you place it in your right ear, waiting to hear the music start.

All of the anxiety, love, fearfulness, joy, everything starts to mix together as the lyrics come over the stringed instrument.

Woah, my love, my darling

I've hungered for your touch

A long, lonely time

And time goes by so slowly

And time can do so much

Your tears well in your eyes until you can feel them about to fall, causing you to turn your head to look out the window, not wanting Joel to know you were crying. 

You had to give it to him though, playing the Righteous Brothers was such a Joel move and yet, you never saw it coming. 

Your heartbeat speeds up and it’s like you could feel the blood coursing your veins, the impending doom of not knowing how anything was going to be once you returned to Texas was going to send your body into overdrive. 

-

It was close to seven by the time you and Joel got back home, the streetlights glowing that familiar orange light at the beginning of your block as the sun started to go down behind the trees ahead of you. His hand rests comfortably on your thigh, rubbing slow circles into the fabric of your sweatpants as you two softly sing along to the radio playing a song from Queen, another fitting song for the moment. 

Under Pressure. 

As Joel’s pulling in front of your houses, the sheer panic of seeing your dads vehicle in Joel’s driveway sends your anxiety through the roof, your legs instantly unfolding from the passenger seat to sit straight up, trying to make it not look like what it was. 

“Did you know he was going to be here? What the fuck is he doing here?” 

“Uhhh, I don’t know why he’s here, baby. Just stay calm, okay? I got this.” Joel winks at you and turns the truck off, getting out to see what your dad wants. You sit there for a moment and contemplate sitting still until he leaves but who knows how long that would be. Swallowing harshly, you get out and stretch before you make your way to where your dad and Joel were standing at the end of the driveway. 

“Hi, sweetheart. Where’ve you been?” 

“Michigan, I went to go see mom” you say bluntly as you take your suitcases out of Joel’s truck in a bit of a rush, trying not to let Joel’s bags be seen. Your dad takes a puff of his cigarette and you can hear the snicker from him as a response to your business in Michigan. 

“And Joel came to get you? What did you bribe him with?” The dig at the both of you causes your brows to knit together in confusion at what he was trying to get at. 

“She didn’t bribe me with anything, asshat. She’s a good girl, she just couldn’t get a reliable friend to come get her, that’s all.” 

What your dad couldn’t see was Joel’s fist behind his back, opening and closing slowly to to calm himself down and not stick your dad right in his mouth for speaking about you that way. One day he would make him see you as a person and not some doormat he can walk all over, but it wasn’t going to happen today. Joel was too exhausted and worn out to be arrested.  

Your dad’s face changes when Joel sticks up for you and he clears his throat before flicking his cigarette butt into the street and tucking his beefy hands in his front pockets. 

“I know, I’m just messin’.”

“Well, um…thanks for coming to get me Joel. I appreciate it.” You hold out your hand for a handshake just to see if he takes the bait. The corner of his mouth turns up just enough for you to notice and falls back into place as he holds out his hand, shaking yours firmly. 

He takes one last glance at you before you take your bags and walk to your house, your face warm to the touch with the mixture of embarrassment and the need to walk right back up to him and kiss him the exact way you had been in public for the last two weeks. 

But you couldn’t. 

He wasn’t yours until he wanted to go public. 

Once you get inside and drop the bags off your shoulders to the floor, you tug your phone out of the pocket on your purse. 

8:11 PM [you]: I Miss you :( Come over when he’s gone?

8:24 PM [Joel]: I miss you too sweetheart. He just needs some tools, guess he’s setting up for a pool party tomorrow? Leave your bedroom lamp on if you want me to come by when he’s done. 

8:30 PM [you]: Oh? Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll get an invite from him ;)

8:31 PM [you]: Aye aye, sir. 

You set your phone down on the counter before you drag the luggage bags upstairs to the dimly lit bedroom you’ve missed so dearly. The piles of clothes you left on the floor pad your footsteps as you try to find the lightswitch on the wall, lighting up the room to see just how disastrous you left it. 

It needed a good clean and it was on your agenda for tomorrow, for now you’re too tired to do anything besides rot on your couch and get caught up on Love Island, seeing how you missed the first couple of episodes while you were away. 

Rubbing the back of your neck while you scan the room, the sadness starts to settle in that you miss Joel. 

You were independent, sure, but being so close the past two weeks without having to hide with stolen glances and tender brushes of your hands behind the backs of everyone was really starting to get to you. 

Why did he have to be your dad’s best friend?

-

The TV drowned out your thoughts long enough to cause you to fall asleep on the living room sofa, attempting to wait for Joel to return. You reach down and grab your phone off the floor that had fallen a little while ago, opening it up to the text thread between you and Joel. 

8:30 PM [you]: Oh? Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll get an invite ;)

9:02 PM [you]: Are you almost done? I wanna cuddle.

9:44 PM [you]: You’re missing a really good episode of Love Island. Remind me to get you a pair of overalls. 

The last message you sent was a half hour ago and still response. You get up and walk into your kitchen, peeking out the window that faced Joel’s house. The lights downstairs were on, that was the most you could see. No shadows, nothing. Wondering where they were, you put on your shoes and walk out to your car, clutching the throw blanket draped over your shoulders as if it were a cape.

You just came outside to grab something from your car, at least that was the story you were sticking with if you got busted by anyone. Opening the driver's side door and looking around, you see Joel’s garage door open and the two of them sitting in lawn chairs in the middle of the room, a few beer cans at Joel’s feet. So this is where he’s been the last two hours? 

You grab a tube of lip balm from the cup holder and close the door firmly, going back inside the house before you were spotted. With your back against the front door, you slide off your shoes and contemplate leaving the door unlocked for him. He didn’t have a key and you wanted him to spend the night, but he’d be more upset if you left it unlocked and fell asleep. 

Grabbing the deadbolt latch and locking the door, you sigh and walk back to the living room to pick up the mess you made. You fold the blanket back up and lay it across the back of the couch, grab your phone, and start making your way upstairs again. 

Sleep. You wanted to sleep. 

The glow from your lamp in the corner by the window illuminated just enough to let you see a clear path to your bed. Stopping to dig out your camera from your bag, you grab it and walk over to your bed. The wind blows in your window and causes the lace curtain to touch your leg, making you turn around to look outside once more before turning off the lamp and crawling into your bed. 

You turn on your camera and look through the last two weeks of your life and the creeping melancholia comes over you. Photos of Joel in the ice cream parlor, the two of you playing cards with your mom, little moments you’ll have forever. He hated being in photos when you first met him, now he couldn’t resist smiling as big as he could when your camera was out. 

It was a little past ten when you heard your phone buzz on the nightstand behind you. Too tired to answer it or to even move, you settle down into your bed further until you fall asleep.

10:21 PM [Joel]: I’m sorry sweetheart. Didn’t know he’d be over that long. Sweet dreams. Proud you locked the front door. Love you. 

The message was the second thing you woke up to this morning. The first thing was Joel on your front porch with a bag from the grocery store with breakfast ingredients inside. He kissed your cheek after making his way to the kitchen. Hours after he made you two breakfast, you got dressed for the day. 

“Forgot to tell you, I did get invited to your dads pool party. He said he’d text you about it.” 

Joel wraps his arms around your waist from behind, pulling you against him gently while you adjust your necklace. His chin rests in the crook of your neck and looks at you through the mirror in front of you. 

“He won’t. I could just show up and crash the party though.” 

“It would make it so much better, I’ll tell you that right now, baby. We should probably go separately though. Best we lay low for a while.”

Lay low for a while. Right. 

Joel turns you around and cups your face. “Don’t give me that look, that’s not fair.” 

You stop pouting and groan loudly before putting your forehead on his chest. Joel kisses your head and stands you straight up, kissing your cheeks until you smile. You kiss his lips passionately and stand still as he starts to make his exit. 

“No pouting today. It’s a pout free day. Let’s get rollin’ baby. I love you, I’ll see you there okay?” 

Joel taps the door frame as you nod and he grins, walking downstairs and you don’t move until you hear the front door close. 

-

The music booms out of the speakers in your dads backyard and it overpowers your car radio as you pull into the driveway, parked right next to Joel’s truck. 

You walk in the front door and head to the kitchen where you hear voices echoing off the walls. A few of your dad’s colleagues stand there chatting away with small plates of finger food in their hands, colorful solo cups scattered along the countertop with various types of drinks. 

The kitchen looked amazing. You hadn’t seen it completed since Joel finished working on it. He was damn good at his job and you felt so proud of him, even if I was unfortunately at your dads house. 

“Look what the cat dragged in!” The hair on your arms raises at the annoying tone of Janet. 

“Kitchen looks nice, sure hope you paid him well” you snark back, a little cattier than you anticipated. 

She smiles sarcastically and walks towards the room behind you. Joel strolls in with your dad in tow, tugging on Joel’s white t-shirt as they laugh and you can barely make out what they’re talking about. 

“What’s up, kiddo?” Joel asks as he leans his hip against the counter and pours a drink for himself. 

You try to avoid looking him in the eyes as best as you can but you only last a few seconds. Right on cue Joel has that grin on his face, the one you only see when he’s with you. The one that holds back so many things he wishes to say. 

Janet walks back to the side of your dad like the good pet she prides herself to be, Joel standing next to you, not nearly as close as you’d like. 

“So, your dad tells me you went to Michigan? How’d you get so much time off already when you just started working?” Janet smirks and hides it with her cup, narrowing her eyes onto you. 

You ready up a loaded answer when Joel starts speaking before you. 

“I gave her the time off, no questions asked. I knew she missed her mom and felt she’d be more energized at work if she got some time from here. She does good work for me.” Dad and Janet couldn’t register his tone like you could. They were far too out of touch to see he was talking to them as if they were children. A subtle tone change was enough for you to notice his feelings on the question Janet had no business asking. 

“I stopped by your office the other day to give you the final check and Tommy said you were out of town?” 

Joel doesn’t shift his body once.

“Yeah, went to go get some wood out northeast.” His fake smile was enough to shut her up for now. It’s dancing too close for comfort and only she seems to notice the damning timelines. Your dad wasn’t putting the pieces fast enough like Janet was. 

“Can someone show me where the coolers are? I need a drink” you ask awkwardly, trying to remove yourself from this clusterfuck. 

Joel steps backwards and motions for you to go ahead in front of him. You set your bag down in the barstool right by the counter and walk outside trying to shake every bit of that conversation off of you. 

The lights were getting brighter as the sun continued to set, people mingling with you and Joel, talking about whatever. It was nice to hear other people’s life stories and how shitty their day-to-day life was. 

Janet comes out and makes a b-line towards you, your pink camera in her grubby hand. 

“You wanna explain this?” She asks in that smartass tone she always uses when she knows something you don’t. As she tosses the device to you, it lands screen faced up and on a photo of you and Joel on the beach your mom took. 

So much for laying low.

[lizzybeeee]

Me watching my Inquisitor walk off with Solas at the end of the game like :) "aw cute ..hey if Mythal hadn't told you to stop would you have murdered her,," (I haven't played the other endings yet).

This!!!

(Obviously, not murdered her personally, but he absolutely had no qualms about doing the ritual once more - knowing the consequences of it.)

Let me preempt this by saying that I wanted there to be a happy/fulfilling ending to Solas and Lavellan. I'm not a blind hater! Just someone who finds it very hard to put my own Lavellan in the place of the 'Lavellan' provided to us in DATV.

The Solas/Lavellan relationship already was kind of iffy (power imbalance, constantly dragging her culture, removing her vallaslin/then dumping her, constantly lying to her, etc...) but DAI did a great job of making you feel sympathetic towards his plight - especially after Trespasser! He woke up in a world so divorced from his own that it was unrecognizable - the people he had done so much for were suffering from the consequences of his actions, justified as they may have been at the time (stopping the evanuris). His actions led to great suffering in the pursuit of preventing even greater suffering.

Even after we learned of his plans in Trespasser, it was very much: "cool motive, still murder."

I felt sympathetic towards Solas and the implication that we could change his mind, given to us in Trespasser, gave me hope that we would be able to convince him of another path. That he could find a place in Thedas as it is now and look to the future. That was why I chose the option to try and get through to Solas, despite knowing that his plan would lead to mass death/terror if it went ahead.

I always expected the Veil to fall at some point, but i was hoping there'd be some more nuance to it than: veil gone, demons everywhere, lots of people die. Well, I was very wrong lmao.

But, if anything, the game made me entirely unsympathetic towards Solas.

The moment he started his ritual he chose the old elven empire over Lavellan - over her family, friends, home, culture, and anything else she may have loved/valued.

And he did this twice.

He chose to pursue lowering the Veil - knowing that thousands would likely die. For all his insistence of 'minimizing the damage' he went in knowing that many more people would die because of his actions. There was no justification of stopping the evanuris this time either - no excuse of not knowing the potential consequences of his actions like the first time.

He chose to begin the ritual that ended up releasing the Elven Gods - knowing full well the risks it entailed.

He killed Varric - whether by accident or not, it was by his hand.

He chose to use blood magic to manipulate Rook into thinking that Varric was alive - puppeting his corpse around in Rook's eyes and putting his words into Varric's mouth.

He chose to manipulate, mold, and guilt Rook into the old 'switcheroo' in his mind palace/regret prison

He chose to 'free' the elven people by bringing down the Veil - regardless of their feelings about it (elven Rook can call him out on this!), never mind the consequences or ramifications of a bunch of people suddenly having their bodily autonomy overwritten by now being magic/having immortality.

He looked at the devastation caused the by the Gods and still went ahead with trying to bring down the veil again.

These are the thing he does in-game - not even mentioning making the dwarves/titans tranquil, creating the blight, started the chain of events that led to SOUTHERN THEDAS BEING DESTROYED, and taking my good gear from Inquisition!

Aside from the 'all lore leads to Solas' reveal just being really dull it also does nothing to help with making me sympathetic to him as a character. The audacity of this man to say: "it was like walking in a world of tranquil" when he fucking lobotomized the dwarves/titans is wild in retrospect.

If he didn't do the ritual at the beginning, if something else went wrong and that resulted in the God's being released, I could understand why a Lavellan would still want to get through to him. It would make sense - she could stop him from doing it again at the end too! You can still have him conflicted and torn between the restoring the past or pursuing the future - but this doesn't happen!

He never chose Lavellan in this game! Hell, it's Mythal who convinces him to stop?!! He owes her nothing! He's learned nothing from this!!! He's only stopped because Mythal 'pardoned/freed' him - once again showing that he values the ancient elves/mythal over her!!!

How impactful would it have been to have him choose Lavellan over Mythal! To show us this! Mythal, who 'crawled through the ages for a reckoning' (which was retconned to her being sad about the elves lmao) telling Solas to go through with the ritual and him touching grass and saying 'no'.

It's something I feel was wildly out of character for him as well - he never came across in DAI as being subservient to Mythal, if anything the ending cutscene gave me the impression they were equals?!

After everything he did in this game - after all we learn about what he did in the past - I had no interest in reasoning/appealing with his ass. None whatsoever. My inquisitor/Lavellan asking if Solas can be reasoned with only made me regret making that choice - perhaps other people's inquisitor's would say that, but mine would not, especially after everything that happened in game.

She came across as delusional: standing on the ruins of a blighted Minrathous, the south blighted to hell, dead all around them, blight tentacles everywhere, a gaping hole in the Fade right next to them:

Lavellan: "I forgive you! All you have to do is stop." Solas: "But I cannot."

Boom! There it is.

At this point it's not romantic, it's just sad! Sad that she's spent 10 years pining after a man who seemed to learn nothing at all from what happened in DAI.

------------------------

There should have been some sort of a dialogue option with Lavellan right before you go into the big fight - she can ask you what you think of Solas, if he's truly regretful for everything that happened, and then you can give her an answer that can 'change' her approach to Solas in the end - giving the player some agency as to how their Inquisitor would actually respond to this.

Ending One: Bye Bye Bye

Rook: "HE'S A GUY."

alternatively, "Look around you! Look at what Solas has done - what he's threatening to do even now after all of this! You gave him every chance to turn away from this path. So did Varric...and look at what he did!"

Lavellan is bitter/angry with Solas: "It seems we never were people to you after all."

Refers to him as 'Fen'harel' and not Solas - dig the knife in deeper, give us angst!

"Just go. You love the Fade, don't you? Enough to do all this - enough to kill Varric for your pride in a dead world that no longer exists. We were never 'real' to you, were we?"

Solas says his goodbyes, expresses his love, and Lavellan steps back.

Solas leaves voluntarily, his 'situation-ship very much over', to stew in his regrets for the rest of his life.

Ending Two: Bittersweet Goodbye

Rook: "Girl, it's been 10 years."

alternatively, "You loved him once, perhaps you still do even now - after all he's done - but love wasn't enough. Love does not excuse this."

Lavellan is firm with Solas, does not excuse his actions, but has a bitter sweet farewell: "I had hoped…it doesn't matter what I hoped. You made your choice - it wasn't me. It wasn't our friends. It wasn't this world. You can make a choice now - if I ever mattered you. If I, if our friends, were ever real to you."

They can have a final goodbye, a goodbye smooch, and then he can go off to the Fade.

Bittersweet ending - acknowledge what they had and then provide closure.

Ending Three: Happy Ending (?)

Rook: "He didn't mean it babe. He's tots sorry."

alternatively, "He seems to regret what's happened - I've seen his memories, his regrets. He believes this is the only path he has. Perhaps you can convince him to find another."

Default Lavellan ending basically

"There is no fate but the love we share" blah blah blah

As happy an ending as it can be when you have Lavellan fuck off to the Fade - leaving behind her life, friends, family, and whatever remains of the world for an eternity.

I'm being mean but I genuinely wanted a happy/fulfilling ending for them both too - despite the fact that this game seems to want that ending as well, it did little to convince me of that. :(

I genuinely liked Solas in DAI - despite his flaws, I thought his romance was compelling and I was hoping to be able to convince him to change/alter his path. I can see what they were trying to do with him in DATV but it's so hard to feel sympathy for him when we see/know the results of his actions. The story in this game is doing anything but convincing me to give him a 'happy ending'.

'Love' can't excuse what he did and neither would my Lavellan.

Also RIP Sandal's Prophecy about the Fade lmao

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

:: yapping under the cut, so spoiler warning <3

FUCKING EVERRRR WHEN I CATCH YYYOOUUUUUUUUU 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i think we all kind of had this notion, in the back of our heads, that the twins were taken in by sylus as kids.... i think maybe some of us have thought of the possibility that they would have been experimented on by Ever................

but i don't think any?! of us?! would have thought of it to be to this extent?! 😭😭😭😭

::: random disorganized thoughts

i haven't yapped on the dash in a while, but KUDOS TO INFOLD BC????? this was a really smart way to slowly offer more information about the experiments that we know so little of.

the people we know of who have been part of these experients are either MIA (caleb, potentially), unable to speak coherently (the patient in zayne's branch story), or don't seem to remember anything about it (mc)... in a similar manner that anyone else who knows about the experiments hasn't really spoken up about them, or... well, you know. are dead. (josephine 😭)

but the fact that we get essentially insider info from the pov of the actual subjects is??? some crazy lore development?

i've seen a lot of general assumptions about what the experiments entail exactly, but this is a literal direct reveal that experiments gone wrong result in the "abominations" that we see in dawnbreaker's universe....... and it's like, this heavy realization that ever is really doing shadier shit than we realize and that they will continue to do so 😭 if they're working with xander sciences to, via dr. carter, potentially find a way to "immortality" or something............... and the risks really are dangerous to THIS extent....... and they've done MORE experiments, not just on luke and kieran???? that's like, insane?

these experiments were cruel 😭

mentions of kieran getting beat up for attempting to escape, is one thing, considering they were kids .... and then on top of that, THIS?

"Because of those side effects, their senses are bound. Fighting each other during heated arguments no longer relieves their anger. Instead, it's a form of self-torture. But they soon discovered that fighting could earn them many things: painkillers, sedatives, and if the fight was severe enough, even a pass on the next day's "trials." So, despite their reluctance, they became experts at fighting each other."

the researchers knew the side effects of the experiment included shared senses, and yet? the way this is phrased is so chilling... because this is from the pov of the twins, who view these things as rewards. likely they're given to stop the fight, or minimize the damages..... but luke and kieran view these as benefits? that are worth the pain they might inflict on each other by fighting? like what do you have to go through to view these things as beneficial to you?

moreover, the researchers would have had more power to completely stop the fighting altogether, but they didn't. they simply kept giving these things and it feels so sick and twisted to me that they'd just let it happen 😭 they were CHILDREN 😭

also the reveal that philip was a former experiment too (with the fact that he's mentioned he used to monitor aether cores as his previous job?! ;O) ... AND that he outlived the supposed "time limit"... AND that he's a younger twin, but the older twin is not at all mentioned so it likely means that the older twin didn't survive...... combined with the fact that we know only kieran has gone through (but miraculously survived) the onset of the transformation, and luke did not? i wonder if it's an only-one-twin thing, or both these cases are truly anomalies and other cases of twins (if there are any) haven't gone this haywire/our of prediction...........

which, by the way, we also don't get context on 😭 like now we know that the onset of transformation apparently doesn't guarantee a full transformation? suddenly "fully recovered" and leaving nothing but scars??????? if we go by the timeline, it would have been two years since they escaped (successfully), and yet their data had specified they only had three months.... this means that since then, they've allegedly been living life just fine with sylus, and just like philip, they've outlived the time limit......... i wonder how these experiments will progress, because ... if we go with dawnbreaker's universe being in the future, how does the transformation get that bad...? so many questions about these experiments......... im tearing my hair out fr 😭

also makes me wonder that ....... how much does sylus know, i wonder? if it's been two years since this account, and the twins crumpled and discarded the data report... does sylus know they were former experiments? that supposedly, they only should have had three months to live? that philip was experimented on, too? even the researchers mentioned sylus' name, i wonder what kind of deals he's done with them before...

::: personality notes

(bc its not a post from me without this <3)

but like first of all it's so.... incredibly heartbreaking..... because we've known from the start that the twins have always loved chaos and mischief and, essentially, the life of crime—but i think a lot of us assumed it to be because of working for sylus

when it actually goes far far back........

and not for very savory reasons.

what we don't know is how long they've been experimented on, or how they were chosen to be experimented on—but what we do know is that the conditions weren't exactly ideal.

and the thing about human experimentation is that although the word "human" is in there, it's completely disregarded in a metaphorical sense. test subjects are test subjects—they aren't seen as human in the eyes of these researchers anymore, or at least, most of them, anyway. and dehumanization is dangerous, because it only means that the researchers can let go of all and any attachment and do all kinds of things. they're not human anymore, so why bother showing tact, right?

and it's exactly what we see with luke and kieran. them being trapped there and, again, the whole thing with their fights........ these fights were probably observed and regarded as invaluable data, so why stop them? why not just subtly encourage them to do it more?

and you can see 😭 how much 😭 this affects them 😭 the cold detachment that THEY have for human life, how it's so easy for them to kill and harm and steal and do all these things without even batting an eyelash.... how the FIRST thing they did when they escaped was kill a guy, and THEN decide they want to kill sylus next?

like you realize that the environment they grew up in was likely cold and detached and void of thw warmth that you would usually give to children........

but instead of particularly developing fear or hatred or anger or some sense of righteous or justice—

they just viewed it as..... normal.

kieran talks about getting beat up like it's nothing. luke jokes about it and has that habit with the ice, like.... that was clearly trauma, but to them it feels as if they've grown so used to it that it isn't trauma anymore, it's just normal. just like the response they developed to fight each other with minimized harm, all to get those painkillers or sedatives or passes... it's normal.

and because it's normal, they feel like they can do it, too. it's so easy.

the fact that they're in the n109 zone, too?

extremely easy.

"throw away all morality and compassion, and this place will be a paradise!"

because that's exactly what they did. that's exactly what they were taught. and the n109 zone is the perfect place for that, a paradise if you will, because going out of it means unlearning the things they've been used to since they were kids.... because anywhere else would mean putting on more than just a physical mask, because anywhere else wouldn't feel like home, because anywhere else would have them likely scorned and disapproved of more than they already have been.

—"'You want to live? I'I give you five minutes. Run.' The young man's voice is chillingly playful reminiscent of a child taunting caged animals at a zoo. It'd be infuriating if Linton weren't paralyzed with fear. He glances back to see the door to the cargo area is wide open. A nauseating stench of blood wafts out. Inside, a few motionless researchers are drenched in crimson. They're clearly beyond help. In the center of the compartment, two sets of restraints that should have secured a person have been cut open. The escapee now crouches beside him, his blade brandished."

—"'Time's up! I hope you found a good spot.' Footsteps echo at the alley's entrance and are accompanied by the young man's cheerful laughter."

—"If it weren't for the shining blade in his hand and the blood staining his clothes, Linton could almost believe this was just some harm-free game of hide-and-seek."

—"'Okay, okay, save your excuses," Kieran, holding a blade, rests his cold hand on Linton's shoulder again, which sends another shiver down his spine. 'People will say anything when they're begging for their lives. One of the researchers told us how sorry they felt for us. You think we believe that?'"

—"Kieran sits cross-legged in the filthy alley, resting his chin on his hand as he watches Luke pin Linton against the wall and press the blade to his throat. In the darkest hours of the night, the spurting blood vanishes. And so, the final cry of a life on death's door is swallowed by the darkness."

—"In less than half an hour, the gleaming knife is stained a dark red. The twins present it to Sylus. 'Well? The trash is on the ground now. Do you want us to do anything else?'"

—"The hands holding the knife slightly tremble from excitement, not fear. Fresh blood drips from the blade's tip, their palms, and their nearly identical faces."

++ also, the fact that they're LITERALLY so desensitized towards death and the prospect of dying....... like their sense of danger is just? completely replaced by thrill? 😭

—"Whatever. It doesn't matter. We finally made it out, and if we only have three months left ... Since we're on borrowed time anyway, why don't we go out with a bang? How about doing something epic in these last three months?"

—"Excited, Luke hops onto the hood of the truck. 'Let's kill him. Nothing can be more epic than that, right?' Kieran bursts into a fit of laughter. 'What if he's a hundred times stronger than us? If we try to kill him, wouldn't that be...' 'Even more fun!' they exclaim in unison."

—'So what?' Luke sits cross-legged, the enthusiasm in his voice gradually fading and being replaced with calm. 'Have you seen the ones who transformed? I'd rather get killed and die early than become... something like that.'"

and, yet....

at the same time, there are hearts in there. just like how sylus may be who and what he is, but he's not..... heartless. he knows what warmth, and compassion, and kindness mean.... in the same way that the twins still do.

they're not always detached and prioritize chaos and fun and messy things—they know what it's like to feel emotions, they're human. despite having been treated as if they were not.

i feel like we've always seen them so unhinged and jokey but to me this is inferred proof that they feel so much, you know? you kind of have to wonder if... maybe the reason why they mask it is because they don't know what to do with it. like, they used to fight each other to relieve anger.... they can't do that anymore. that's one emotion they never learned to express properly. and sadness, and anxiousness, and grief, and fear.... they have severe reactions to kieran's onset of transformation, of sylus about to kill them—in the same way that excitement and joy are things that they feel so much more.... now that they're outside the research facility.

—"From a distance, Kieran senses Luke's body go rigid onstage. He quickly realizes why Luke reacted that way. It's because of him. At some point, two wisps of black-red mist have enveloped his body."

—"The person before him musters all his strength to aim the knife at his heart. He tries to push it in... But he hesitates and freezes as he notices his brother, who's bound to him, curl up into a ball because of their shared agony."

—"'Let me help you... I'll help you.' The weight behind the word help is unmistakable. Its true meaning is unspoken but clearly understood."

—"'I'lI die with him.' That's his response to Sylus. He takes a few deep breaths before flashing a sly grin. "I don't care anyway."

—"They shudder uncontrollably. At first, they manage to hide their terror. But as the mist grows sharper and touches their beating hearts— So this is what death feels like. The feeling of being at death's door finally breaks their resolve. Fragmented pleas escape their lips. 'No...'"

—""Stop..." "I thought you had a death wish. "We don't...!""

maybe they don't know what to do with it.

but...........

maybe being around sylus has them learning how to do that. maybe being around sylus has given them some semblance of a feeling of warmth, and compassion, and kindness that they've missed out on. he spares them, allows them to find a home with him. in his own way, i'd like to believe that he... encouraged them to live a little longer. the twins who were so acceptant of death and the fact that they may not live long... maybe he gave them a little bit of purpose, a little bit more reason to cling to life a little. he saw that they don't actually want to die, and i think he pushed that further so they wouldn't do something like that again. whether they're aware of it or not, it's probably why over the past two years, the twins have come to admire and respect sylus so much—more than just for his strength and his power, but also for the kindness he's shown them.

which, also— the differences in their personality are shown a lot here and it was so interesting for me !!!!!!!!!

kieran is obviously still the calmer one and a little more on the rational side.... but i think this also makes him prone to overthinking and seeing things too rationally, so luke is there to balance things out. but it probably makes him worry more, probably makes him more vulnerable to negative emotioms, probably makes him feel more than he lets on...

—"Transformation within three months... That's a fancy way of saying we won't live past three months."

—"Luke leans against the armored truck. He raises an eyebrow. Then, his eyes widen as he looks at Kieran, and he pounds his fist on the hood excitedly. 'What is it?' Based on that reaction alone, Kieran knows his brother's mind is probably concocting another scheme to turn the world upside down."

—"Eager, Kieran leans in. Despite Luke's ideas always ending up as messes he has to clean up, the prospect of doing something epic still holds an irresistible allure."

—"But Kieran quickly suppresses his bubbling excitement. He tries to be sensible. 'Wouldn't it be easier for Sylus to kill us than for us to kill him?'

—"Kieran hadn't particularly paid attention to Sylus's demeanor. Knowing Luke would keep an eye on it, he noticed something else. From the moment Sylus entered the room, it was as if an invisible barrier had formed around him. No one dared to cross this unseen line to stand near him. It remained that way until the very end. He had entered alone, and he left alone. Kieran can't help but muse out loud. 'Is there someone who can get close to Sylus?'"

—"He's about to bolt out the door when Kieran, as if he's done this a million times, grabs his collar and pulls him back. He presses the finished darts into Luke's hand before releasing him. 'Now we can go. l've been tailing Sherman for a while. Onychinus isabout to attend an important business meeting. Sylus might be there. We should check it out.'"

—"The person before him musters all his strength to aim the knife at his heart. He tries to push it in... But he hesitates and freezes as he notices his brother, who's bound to him, curl up into a ball because of their shared agony."

and like, it has seemed a little bit more like kieran has been acting like the older one... but i think this really brings to light that although he's the more "sensible" one in a sense, he really does need someone to balance him out?

and in contrast to that, luke, despite being more excitable.... genuinely has such a caretaker personality 😭 he's so caring towards his brother i wanted to CRY????????? and he's also the more positive one out of both of them 😭 like he feels like the younger one sometimes, but i think it makes perfect sense why he's older... he looks out for kieran sm :(

—"'Whatever. It doesn't matter. We finally made it out, and if we only have three months left ... Since we're on borrowed time anyway, why don't we go out with a bang? How about doing something epic in these last three months?' Luke leans against the armored truck. He raises an eyebrow. Then, his eyes widen as he looks at Kieran, and he pounds his fist on the hood excitedly."

—"Excited, Luke hops onto the hood of the truck. 'Let's kill him. Nothing can be more epic than that, right?'"

—"'Did he look... bored to you?' Luke breaks the silence. Kieran hadn't particularly paid attention to Sylus's demeanor. Knowing Luke would keep an eye on it, he noticed something else."

—"He's about to bolt out the door when Kieran, as if he's done this a million times, grabs his collar and pulls him back."

—"'Let me help you... I'll help you.' The weight behind the word help is unmistakable. Its true meaning is unspoken but clearly understood."

—"'I'lI die with him.' That's his response to Sylus. He takes a few deep breaths before flashing a sly grin. "I don't care anyway."

and the very end 😭😭😭

i feel like this truly spoke volumes of luke's character 😭 it's so touching? the fact that he really asked someone to make masks for them so they'd look like twins again? 😭😭😭 my heart 😭😭😭😭😭

::: extra

this is important,

PONYTAIL !!!!!!!!!!

AND THEY HAVE LONG HAIR.... (had? have.......... did they ever get a haircut after, i wonder....)

ALSO the fact that kieran is really good at making darts. . . . ALSO the fact that we know kieran is covered in scars...

(casually consuming any drops of appearance notes)

THAT IS ALL, THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK.

in conclusion. i love them to death 😭

[melting-i-see]

So as of writing this, we haven't gotten Grian's episode yet, but I'm getting the vibes that he knows what powers there are but not who has them, and I gotta say, taking that and making him a power mimic was the cleverest balancing move I think I've ever seen.

That power would have just been frustrating for anyone else, not knowing what's available or how anything works, but for mister set-everything-up the relearn a new power every five minutes issue is gone.

AND having him not know who has what to start with actively rewards him for the inevitable people asking him about the less obvious ones. Helping them out is no longer lost time for him, it's info gathering. They done rebalanced the game master and it's mechanics-wise just so GOOD

[begrudging-fudanshi]

So i stared reading windbreaker after i saw your post about it , it's wholesome manga with amazing fights

in your opinion Why didn't nii satoru reveal Sakura's past until now ? Why was Sakura alone ?

Hell yeah. Welcome to the fandom. I'm glad my propaganda has been working.

To be honest, I've been thinking about this series way too much over the last couple weeks, so this is probably going to be A Lot. I am dumping a lot of accumulated thoughts in here and simultaneously trying to keep a bunch of other thoughts from cluttering it up. If any of this feels disjointed, it's because I've been trying (I swear) to not make this like 10,000 words long lmao.

(CW: Wind Breaker manga spoilers + discussion of child neglect, trauma, feelings of worthlessness, parental loss, grief, and a suicide attempt in the context of the series. Hope you're ready for some pain.)

I'm going to answer your questions in reverse order, because I think they're actually very closely connected.

Sadly, my read on Sakura's past is really dark. Based on what we know so far, there's a lot to suggest that Sakura has been badly neglected for a long time, both physically and emotionally. Based on his lifestyle and the way he talks about himself, I really struggle to believe that he's received any genuine affection or care in many years, if ever. (I'm so glad he was able to go to Furin.)

The flashbacks at the start of episode 1 of the anime suggest he was taken in by relatives who didn't want him, and I think they basically set him up for failure in every way. They seem to have done the bare minimum required of them by the law, like sending him to school, but I can see no evidence that they did much of anything else. Like, what kind of asshole sends a 15-year-old kid to live alone in a barren apartment with literally nothing to wear except his school uniform? Caring people wouldn't let a kid live like that. (That said, I have a bad feeling that his lifestyle seen in chapter 56 is an upgrade compared to what he had before.)

Given this, it's clear Sakura really means it when he says he's always done things by himself. I think this is why he looks so torn up when his friends show him real kindness and why he's so sensitive to anyone showing affection. I also think this means that he really wants to forget his past. This is a big part of why we haven't seen it revealed yet: Sakura isn't ready to revisit it, himself.

---

Something interesting about Wind Breaker's backstories is that they all (as far as I and my notes can remember) follow a consistent pattern. They're not just lore dumps that tell us about the character's past. They actually follow each character through a process of changing their beliefs about themselves, often based on their view of the past. This is why they're all in the first person. Some of these changes happen in the present while others are part of flashbacks, but either way the process is basically the same.

In each backstory, the character starts out believing something about themselves that gives rise to a contradiction that keeps them trapped. This belief somehow keeps them from living their best life and, often, stops them from changing their ways to make their best life possible. However, someone else helps them challenge that belief, giving rise to a revelation that lets them change how they see themselves. This change enables them to see new possibilities and lets them move forward towards the life they want.

For example:

Umemiya believed his parents would blame him for their deaths, so he couldn't let himself grieve them nor believe that he deserved to live. His guilt blocked out his memory of the event, keeping him from remembering what really happened. However, a nameless(?) Furin student and Shitara helped him realize that his parents saved him and were happy to see him survive. Thus, he was able to grieve and imagine a future for himself other than his self-destruction.

Kaji believed that his rage was uncontrollable and couldn't even see himself as human. Hiragi helped him realize that he could manage his triggers and change his behavior to be able to find acceptance and live his life.

Tsubaki believed that she couldn't like pretty things or express herself how she wanted. Ito and Yui helped her learn to dress up and present herself the way she liked, allowing her to accept herself and transition. (I know she's not canonically transgender but that's still the best way I can see to describe it.)

After Yui's death, Ito believed that she might never have truly loved him. Tsubaki, Sakura, Suo, and Nirei help him realize the secret meaning of the tree that she planted in his garden, letting him live his life without worrying if she was truly happy.

What's important here is that the character must be ready to have their beliefs about themselves challenged so they can understand their full truth. Otherwise, their story of their past would be incomplete. (Consider what Umemiya's backstory would have sounded like if he still believed he was a murderer.) In fact, we already have an example of this that I'll get to, next.

Because Sakura isn't yet in a position to challenge the beliefs holding him back, he can't reveal his past, either. He has friends helping him, but it's going to be a while before they've truly shaken his most unhelpful beliefs.

---

That said, this process has actually played out with Sakura once before and I think it tells us a lot. It shows us exactly why he's not ready to reveal his past.

In chapter 1, Sakura starts out believing that he's meant to always be alone, leading him to initially reject the people of Makochi. Then, Kotoha helps him acknowledge that he does want to be accepted and convinces him to give it a shot. However, while this is great progress and very necessary for Sakura's growth, this isn't a complete resolution. He still has an even more deep-seated belief that has to be addressed.

In addition to asserting that he's meant to be alone, Sakura also lays out another belief in chapter 1 that I argue really gets to the root of his deepest trauma. He doesn't quite say it explicitly, but it underpins both his belief that he's meant to be alone and that he's worth nothing but his fists.

The closest he comes to naming it is when he describes Furin. He says it's "The lowest of the low, hated by all others, worth nothing but their fists … It's a battle to determine the trashiest of the trash. That suits me perfectly."

I have to admit, the first few times I heard and read this, I completely missed how fucked up it is for a 15-year-old kid to say this about himself. I think I've gotten so used to taking shonen protagonists' confident declarations at face value that I just didn't question it, in the same way I've learned not to question, say, 12-year-old Gon deciding to become a pro hunter and travel the world fighting adults. The way it's presented very deliberately (and, I think, cleverly) blunts the impact as well, making use of shonen stylistic conventions to disguise it as stereotypical shonen protagonist bluster. This mirrors how Sakura masks his deeper feelings about himself.

However, as I read through the rest of the manga, it became clear that this is what Sakura actually, deeply believes. He's 15 years old and he truly sees himself as trash—in other words, worthless. The only way he can imagine finding worth in himself is through his strength. Even then, this is only for Sakura himself. He can't let himself imagine anyone else ever valuing him for any reason, so he must find self-worth all on his own. To put it more sharply, he can't imagine deserving unconditional love. Based on what little we do know about his past, this belief stems from a lifetime of emotional neglect.

The thing is, Sakura's belief that he's worthless is actually, paradoxically, a coping mechanism. As horrible as it is, it helps him rationalize his life in a way that lets him keep living despite his neglect and isolation. If he's truly worthless, then he's never had a reason to expect being loved or accepted by anyone—he's always been meant to be alone. This is how he can tell himself that he doesn't care and has given up. This lets him bury the pain of his isolation and pretend it doesn't truly hurt. By believing that he has always been worthless and unable to be (to deserve being) loved, he has had no reason to get his hopes up for the future, nor any reason to question why he's been treated so badly in the past. He can accept it (has to accept it), even if he hates it, because it was always inevitable.

Notice how Sakura reminds himself that he's given up right before punching the Spaltips' leader in chapter 1. This is the story he tells himself to contain the hurt. He does something similar in chapter 56, reminding himself that he's supposed to be alone as he grapples with his friends' kindness. He bludgeons himself with this reminder as a way to push away thoughts about his past. He then shifts his focus to thinking about his growing care for his friends rather than his feelings about himself. Once again, Sakura makes himself turn away.

The trouble is, this belief is his only means of holding back an unfathomable amount of pain inside of him. It's the only way he knows how to live with all the myriad ways he's been treated like shit. To doubt his own worthlessness, therefore, is to expose himself to overwhelming grief. Because, if he isn't worthless, he then has to ask himself why he had to suffer for so long. That kind of question is too awful for him—for pretty much anyone—to face on their own. This coping mechanism protects him, but it also traps him and prevents him from finding relief.

This comes to a head in chapter 1, as the townspeople surround him and the old woman tries to tend to his wound. As she reaches towards him, he screams at her to stay away. This act of genuine kindness fills him with terror. It's not just that he fears eventual rejection—Sakura fears the idea he could be accepted at all. Remember, he's just "failed" to win the fight and, worse, ended up having to be protected because he got hurt. Sakura could accept Kotoha's kindness earlier because he "earned" it by stopping her attackers, but now there's someone trying to help him for what feels like no reason. For Sakura, who must believe that he was never meant to be loved or accepted, being shown kindness for no apparent reason feels like an existential threat. It threatens to undermine the walls that he's built inside of him to keep going. This is why he allows Kotoha to help him instead—he can still rationalize her help as transactional.

This rationalization provides his means of escape. To accept his place in Makochi, he only has to accept that he doesn't have to be alone. He doesn't have to believe that he can be valued or loved unconditionally, nor that he deserved anything better. Instead, Sakura finds a way to "earn" his acceptance: The chapter culminates with Sakura accepting Bofurin, which he shows by leaping over all the others to kick the Spaltips' leader in the face.

By showing his strength, by upstaging the heroes and claiming his place among them, Sakura proves (to himself) that he is strong enough to be accepted. Rather than accept that he could always have been valued and accepted unconditionally—that he always could have been loved—Sakura would rather believe he's earned his acceptance based on his strength.

In this way, Sakura can continue to believe in his own worthlessness, saving himself from having to face his past. Because of this, even as he's learned that he can be accepted, he still maintained his belief that he was meant to be alone from the start (again, see chapter 56). This lets him continue to justify his past suffering and minimize his own pain.

This comes back around in chapter 162, when Sakura's classmates talk about his low self-esteem. Despite their efforts to show him that he's loved and valued, Sakura ultimately still believes he's only worth his strength. We see how he rejects Umemiya's praise, unable to understand how he could be praised when he "failed". Sakura can't believe he could be valued when he couldn't even single-handedly save the town.

But, as long as he believes this, his past will remain a mystery, not just to his friends and to us as readers, but even to Sakura himself. Just as Umemiya's repression kept him from realizing that his parents loved him, Sakura's repression keeps him from realizing that he has always deserved to be loved. He cannot acknowledge, can't even recognize, the pain he's endured in his life, because he still has to believe it didn't matter. Because of this, he can't let himself grieve or admit that he has always deserved better. He's still trapped believing he must always prove his worth through his strength alone.

Of course, changing this isn't going to be easy. He will get there. His friends will help him through it. Still, it's going to be rough. I think it'll be a while yet before he's ready to tell us about his past.

---

Addendum

All of that being said, something I really love about Wind Breaker is how hopeful it is and the way it shows Sakura living despite his past. To that end, I want to note one last thing: Sakura can still smile, despite everything else. No matter what he tells himself, he still feels hope.

I mentioned above that I didn't recognize Sakura's low self-esteem at first because it's masked with stereotypical shonen protagonist confidence. I think this is very deliberate by the author. We're supposed to see Sakura as cool, confident, and badass in the beginning, only to realize that he's also hurting inside. (Emphasis: that's also, not instead. These aren't mutually exclusive.) Sakura's cocky grin is part of a mask he wears, but it's not a lie.

While I believe Sakura has suffered a lot, it's important to emphasize that he's not broken or doomed to drown in grief. What I've laid out here is what I believe is going on beneath the surface, and I do believe he's going to have to face his trauma eventually, but let's not forget that our boy can still smile after all of that. The fact that he can smile doesn't mean that he's not hurting, but the fact that he's hurting doesn't mean he only feels pain. Let's not do him dirty by miring our view of him in grief. Instead, as we acknowledge how much he's suffered, let's also be happy at just how far he's come and hopeful for how far he'll go in the future.

[impactrueno]

I saw your post about your laptop being unusable, why dont you do a goal on kofi for it?

i could've done that.....but don't worry about it, last time i promoted my ko-fi with that little ad break comic i was able to earn enough to get a new pc (incredible timing because black friday is the only time of the year i can afford these things, i was able to get a refurbished one at a great price 🎉) but it'll take a couple of weeks to get here. i haven't said anything about it yet because i want to make sure it's on its way in case something happens. ordering stuff online makes me anxious lol

i've actually never EVER gotten this many kofis...tbh most of the time i post the link i only get 10 bucks tops 😭 i'm thankful for those regardless, but it's just yknow. i know what to expect. but this time it was crazy. people really like my beetlejuice stuff huh.... 🥹🥹🥹

i feel like promoting my ko-fi again so soon would be too much but i already have ideas for new ad break comics so i'm looking forward to those. i did not expect people to like it as much as they did HAHA i really thought i was just being annoying

[starstruckbyacomet]

The Journalists (Part 1): Katey from But Why Tho

The Journalist who Takes No Bullshit from Other Journalists Paid Writers

(Part 2) (Part 3)

Katey Stoetzel wrote a review about episode 8x06 "Confessions":

So far, this article is my favorite 9-1-1 review. I feel like Katey was reading my mind while she was writing this piece. Things which she mentioned in it, among others:

"...the election results play into the strong reactions surrounding this breakup."

"...this explanation leans on biphobic stereotypes, such as bisexual people not knowing what they want, or needing to sleep around with a lot of people to know what they want."

"After referring to Buck exclusively by his first name, Evan, Tommy immediately distances himself from his intimate connection with Buck. And that feels pretty definitive."

"...thanks to Lou Ferrigno Jr’s performance in 9-1-1 Season 8 Episode 6, who layers so many nuances to Tommy in this scene that it would be a disgrace to not follow up on this character,..."

"...if we don’t then all the show has done is leave a gay man lost, heartbroken, and alone with seemingly no plans to resolve it."

Rarely, I found a piece of writing where almost every word was resonated with me. I could rave on and on about this review (I've told you that it was my favorite). However, it's better if you read it by yourself, if you haven't done it yet.

*********

Katey also interviewed Lou Ferrigno Jr. about the break up storyline.

For Tevan fans, this interview is like an oasis in the desert. First of all, it is the only interview with Lou after the break up, which is not saddled with Buddie questions 🙄. Secondly, Katey brought up Tevan fans' reaction to the discussion. Something which has been omitted by the paid writers who were pandering to toxic Buddie fans. The interview makes us feel seen. Probably, this is how we'd feel if we had a thoughtful queer story on TV, in which queer characters were not put aside, sad, alone, brokenhearted, or dead 😔.

*********

Initially, I thought I might be biased towards Katey, just because she also liked Tevan. Thus, I decided to read her review about episode 8x08 "Wannabes":

Oh boy, did she deliver! Every complaint about the episode which I've read on Tumblr is included in her review. And it's not just about Tevan:

"...[This episode] features a lot of Brad... is an odd choice, considering main characters like Maddie (Jennifer Love Hewitt) and Chimney (Kenneth Choi) have barely gotten to do anything this first half of the season. Eddie (Ryan Guzman), too, feels underutilized...."

"Brad gets regulated to chores (why is he getting more screen time at the 118 than anyone else again?)...."

"And there’s still the Shannon of it all. The fallout from the Hitchcock-inspired soap drama of 9-1-1 Season 7 hasn’t adequately addressed Eddie’s grief."

"...this part of the episode [how the suicidal man was saved] rings really hollow for a bit centered around suicide."

"...Episode 8 doesn’t have a mid-season vibe to it... besides Eddie potentially moving, there’s nothing juicy enough to send us off on a five-month hiatus. Bobby and Athena’s house situation hasn’t been discussed since Episode 4. Hen (Aisha Hinds) and Karen (Tracie Thoms) haven’t been around since 9-1-1 Season 8 Episode 5. While they got a lot of focus during the Ortiz storyline, Hen hasn’t had much to do in recent episodes."

"...Buck’s obvious want to call Tommy feels like he has unresolved issues with how things ended (we do, too.) However, the implication in interviews that it’s over between Buck and Tommy is CONFUSING... having Buck taking no action in the wake of this breakup so far, especially heading into hiatus, is a little frustrating."

I'm not the only one who resonates with Katey's review. At this point, I'm almost certain that Katey has been lurking on Tumblr, reading our rants one by one 😂. The mention of "Hitchcock-inspired soap", "the Shannon of it all", and "why is he [Brad] getting more screen time at the 118 than anyone else again?" made me laugh. Her articles show that this woman got brain, and a sharp tongue. I'm sure Katey could match firefighter pilot Thomas Kinard in a duel of words, and probably even won over him.

*********

@earthquakebi also praised another body of work from Katey: a Season 8A deep dive by Jose Cordova & Katey Stoetzel on Between TV podcast:

*********

However, Katey's bravest and most impressive article that I've read so far is a rather old one (recommended by @nqueso-emergency). It's not a review on any episodes of the show. It is about its fandom, and the press around it. The article was published on April 25. 2024, only 21 days after Buck's bisexual revelation first aired on April 4, 2024:

In this article, Katey criticized the paid writers who had been questioning "whether or not Buddie... is on the table", although it had "no basis in what’s happening on screen." She also pointed out that what those paid writers had been doing "creates a vicious cycle of misinterpretations, baiting, toxic fandom habits, and deciding that there’s only one way to interpret something." and "ridiculous expectations and assumptions all just centered around CLICKS and ENGAGEMENT."

It is interesting that she put the blame on the paid writers for FANNING TOXIC BEHAVIORS among fandom.

Katey didn't name names, but she inserted links to several articles and one video, while pointing out the baseless fandom pandering aspects on those bodies of work. And she certainly didn't mince her words 😂.

Her article is closed by a contemplative paragraph about journalism in the entertainment world:

"There’s a duty one has when sitting down for an interview with a cast, and that’s TO INQUIRE about the show that they have worked hard to bring us. And they definitely SHOULDN'T BE USED as an opportunity TO VALIDATE A FANDOM SHIP. That road just leads to disappointment, and an unfair insistence that if anyone disagrees, then they’re wrong. That’s not what fandom should be about. And it’s certainly not what entertainment journalism is about." 

[loweya-blog]

Eye See Clearly Now

There was something troubling Mammon, as there often was. Instead of money troubles or fleeing from Lucifer's wrath, this time it was you. Had he done something wrong? He tried to name all the things he had possible done and he realized....yeah there was probably something. Of course he would NEVER communicate things like that clearly so he went to one of his brothers for a second opinion. "Hey....so.... how do you get someone to not be mad at you?" Mammon asked.

Beel looked at him and paused after eating a bite of his gigadeath hamburger.

"Is Lucifer mad at you again?" Beel asked.

"No...It's MC. They keep glarin' at me and I dunno what I did wrong!" Mammon said with a huff.

Beel swallowed his burger and looked at Mammon with worried eyes.

"They were glaring earlier too. Even at me," the gentle giant said with a sad expression.

Mammon could barely withhold his surprise. It was one thing to be mad at a scummy guy like him, but Beel? He was a sweetheart, barely upset almost anybody unless it was food related. Mammon dragged Beel along with him and went to talk to the rest of his brothers, unintentionally riling them all up.

Leviathan was a nervous wreck, wondering if you hated him now. Asmodeus hated it when you glared in the direction of his beautiful face, it made him feel things he was not comfortable with. Like he wasn't somehow absolutely stunning! Belphegore figured something had just upset you and the sooner it was figured out the sooner he could take a nap. Satan was incredibly worried and mildly curious at the idea of your anger. They at last dragged poor Lucifer along who was just trying to finish his work.

The battle plan had started. A new chat group was made, the "Anti-Angry MC" team began their plot. First, they would soothe your wild anger with gifts and food they knew you like. Then, they would tentatively approach the subject and actually ask what you were angry about. Last, they would do whatever it took to make it up to you, no matter the cost!

When you came home from your part-time work, you were tired. It didn't help that your eyesight was shit and you hadn't gotten new contacts yet. You refused glasses. They were uncomfortable and so few were actually cute. Besides, they were expensive! The last week had been hard and you had to squint just to see everything.

When you opened the door, you were shocked to find all the brothers gathered in front of it like simpering sad little dogs.

"Um..... everything okay?" You asked.

Before you got a proper response they pulled you off to the dining room, concerned and cowering whenever you looked at them. By Diavolo, what was going on?! But the food was nice. They gave you the best food and asked how your day was before piling hundreds of gifts on you like they were trying to bury you. Before they could even get to their next phase, you asked them.

"Hey what's going on? You guys are acting strange."

"That's what we wanted to you!" Asmo cried out, "Why are you so mad with all of us? Did we do something?"

Your eyes widened in surprise.

"I'm not mad at any of you."

"Then why you glarin' at us?" Mammon asked with a huff and slight pout.

"Oh! Sorry. I'm not glaring. I'm just having a hard time seeing. My contacts haven't come in yet,"

"And you didn't use your glasses because...?"

You glanced at the ground sheepishly.

"....I don't like them. They're uncomfortable and make me look like a dork."

Lucifer let out an annoyed sigh. All this work, and money, for something so simple. But he was silently relieved it wasn't anything serious.

"We can get you some more comfortable glasses, there are many types in the devildom, even some that are invisible. Just next time tell us- .... tell me," He corrected himself, not really trusting his brothers.

"Or me, I have saw cute Ruri-chan glasses."

"Or me! I know all about the fashion of glasses hon!"

"....Hey..... can I take a nap now?" Belphie asked, moving over to you so he could rest his head on your lap.

The rest of the brothers balked at the idea and chaos erupted once more. You smiled to yourself, finding it all funny. The brothers loved you so much that the idea of you being mad at them made them go from demon rulers of hell, to sad little doggies.

The End.

໒꒰ྀི｡- ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

@douxkise (Sorry for tagging you twice, accidentally posted it in wrong place)

[nanamis-bigtie]

go live

↬ gojo satoru x amab!reader ↬ jjk masterlist // ao3 version // kofi

cw: pwp, reader has a penis (limited body descriptions & no gendered pronouns), oral sex (reader giving), anal sex, top gojo, possessive behavior, exhibitionism, sexcam show, pet names ("bunny") summary: sexcam livestreams are satoru's toy. but sometimes you join the show word count: 1,565 a/n: was talking with melk about writing amab readers and it reminded me i still have this one (it was a part of 2023 kinktober, one i never completed). was fist fighting my brain all day whether should i bring it back or not but - fuck it, we ball. there's not enough inclusive fics out there anyway

The setup is different from the usual one. Room is almost empty but the laptop, camera, and the mattress you fuck on, and dim, red-ish lights have been replaced. You feel much more exposed once you step in, naked far beyond your bare skin. The little mask you're wearing for a scrape of privacy could as well not exist for your mind.

"We're going live in five minutes," Satoru doesn't turn your way, his attention swallowed by the chat.

He's also naked, keeping his blindfold wrapped tight and cozy, but his hair is let loose, falling in irregular white strands over his hidden eyes.

"Why the change?" You nod towards the nearest lamp and squint under the bright light.

"Why not?" He shrugs then straightens arms over his head and stretches with a satisfied groan. "They've been whining they want to see you better all the time, figured they gonna like it."

"I'm pretty sure they meant my face."

"They can take that or fuck off. Like hell I'm sharing my bunny's cute face with them."

You kneel behind his back and wrap—not without a problem—arms around him. Satoru hums with approval when you nuzzle into the crook of his neck and take a deep whiff of his scent. He smells of his favorite cologne and musky arousal—a mix that has your mind spinning with need. Fire that's been simmering in your groin for a while now burns with a new force—and you, almost involuntary, rut hips against his back.

"Someone's excited", he coos and reaches behind himself to scratch at your scalp. "Are you ready?"

You confirm by nipping his neck. Having such an easy access to Gojo Satoru himself, to be able to taste and mark his skin, is such an aphrodisiac, a privilege driving you crazy. In the split moment of your teeth and tongue brushing him, everything—the live room, the camera, notifications blinking on the laptop screen—cease to exist. There's only Satoru, lowering the invisible walls in immense trust in you, and seconds stolen for your selfish pleasure.

"Leave some of this enthusiasm for the show, bunny." You can hear a smirk in Satoru's voice as his fingers tighten in your hair, pulling half-heartedly until you move away and sit on your heels.

A few clicks later you're live. The image of the room and your backs appears on the screen and the chat explodes with new messages. Someone sends a tip even though you haven't done anything yet. You can't help but laugh a little, hiding your face in Satoru's nape to save appearances. Of all cam performers, Gojo Satoru is the last one to need financial support. You have no idea what he does with this extra cash, but you wouldn't be surprised if he was sending it to real sex workers, with a generous tip of his own.

"They love you." Satoru finally faces you. You can't see his eyes, but you know he's being possessive over the attention you receive. He grabs your middle and squeezes it almost harshly when pulling you closer for a deep, passionate kiss.

The live show is mostly his toy. You're a spicy addition, extra bonus for the most dedicated fans of his account, and you're included only during the limited access shows, whenever you feel like it. It was Satoru's idea from the beginning, to fuck you in front of anonymous voyeurs and to save the video for later use, be it a part of another scene or a private use of his. With how much he hated to share you, even if only by showing your body to the others, the whole idea seems to be ridiculous. You even asked him once, but he only shrugged that he likes being watched. However, he probably just loves to show everyone what they will never have—because you're his only.

That's why, when he usually lets you have your way with him during the foreplay, Satoru harshly guides you down to his crotch. Pulled hair prick at your scalp, sensation answered with a familiar pulsing way in your groin. Your mouth waters at the sight of his hardening cock: not at the full mast yet but not leaving you much work to do.

He's enormous in both length and girth; your jaw strains when you open for him, a sheer feeling of fullness having you gag a little even before his tip brushes at the back of your throat.

"Go on," Satoru encourages you with soft words, but his hold on your head is strong and relentless, not letting you move away further than pulling away for a breath. You bob your head slowly, savoring his taste and smell—and thick weight pulsing on your tongue.

He's almost silent, as always when he's in his very dominating mood, but his body is telling you everything you need to know.

It's arousing in its own way, and you do your best to not ruin it with your own mewling.

You break though when feeling his fingers probing at your entrance. Worshiping his cock, you missed the moment Satoru opened and poured lube, the colder sensation and stretching catch you off guard. You've prepared yourself prior, but his fingers are so long and thick it's still quite a task to take two of them.

"They're saying your butt is cute, bunny." Satoru muses and guides you to turn towards the camera, at the same time scissoring fingers and stretching your hole for the audience to see better. With the corner of your eye, following the move of hand that let go of your hair and reached towards the laptop, you see a stream of excited emojis flooding the chat. Oh, they see you, they love you—and they know you're beyond their reach. You belong to Satoru, and he shows you off as his property.

Your length twitches and aches, so far ignored by the both of you. The mood truly gets into your head.

"You squeeze me so tight," Satoru's voice trembles a little, the need slowly taking over cold self-control. "Do you want me to fuck you, bunny?"

You let go of his cock with a lewd pop and look up at him pleadingly. He's smiling, less like a lover, and more like a predator over a cornered prey. The weight of his gaze, even if you can't see it, pins you down and curls you into a little but a very horny ball.

"On your knees, face to the camera." Satoru orders, making a circular move with his finger over your head. Half-way he gives your ass a harsh slap, echoing, together with your moan, through the almost empty room.

The lens is so small you barely can tell its little window from the plastic case. So small yet—it fits the gazes of maybe over a hundred people, following each move of yours with attention. You don't look away and keep your head up—otherwise, he would yank it up and scold you, playfully, but still, right in front of every participant of the show.

Satoru takes place right behind you, grabs you by hips and positions you the way he likes. There's no patience in his moves; you grit teeth, awaiting a sudden thrust, and he fails your expectations only for a short moment, when he's pushing the tip in. The rest of his huge cock is almost slammed in, having you cry in pleasure—and pain at the back of it.

He mumbles a curse, something about your tight hole, and retracts hips with a sharp hiss. More lube is poured, the angle slightly changed—and he's back, stretching you wide and deep with a stubborn determination. It's always harsh with Satoru, he has no patience to play with you further once he's sure he's not hurting you. He knows soreness will soon fade, he knows you will relax and take him to the brim, like a good thing you are for him.

"Nhhh, squeezing me like a—" Dirty talk dies on Satoru with a low, guttural moan. "You gonna cum soon, right?"

Leaning close, chest pressed to your back, he bites at the nape of your neck while threading fingers through your sweaty hair—and soon giving you a harsh pull, "Hey, bunny, look at them all. Show everyone how pretty you are when you're taking my cock."

A wave of hot pleasure is not done washing over you and Satoru is already jerking you up, straight to your knees and flush against him. He slams his dick into you without mercy, fast and sharp, hurdling you towards orgasm so fast you forget about stroking yourself.

"Satoru, I—" You try to say something between moans—yourself not sure what exactly anymore, because in seconds you're cumming, spasming in his hold, spurting cum right at the camera.

Notifications on the chat ping as relentlessly as Satoru thrusts into you, no second of break, no chance to get down from your high and let your fire simmer down.

"And now, bunny, when we're done with the appetizer—" he rasps into your ear with a voice so feral your whole body tenses in excited anticipation. You're pushed to all fours again, barely able to hold yourself on trembling limbs. "—now I'm gonna rail you until you pass out all pretty in front of everyone."

[chasing-faith-and-fate]

I don't have any specific questions, but I'm very interested in your comic! Do you have any (non-spoilery) character or worldbuilding lore that you're excited about but haven't had the chance to talk about yet? I'd love to hear it :)

Uuurggghh god do I ever-

This is gonna be so long I'm so sorry

Gonna go with Sootsnow this time— because there's so much to this man that I cannot fucking write or convey as I want to. (But I'll try here, probably won't succeed.)

Like I complain about him having so many kits but it genuinely makes a lot of sense for them, specially in relation to their personality- it also very much ties into why he refuses to share information about the Takers.

Look at this fool, he (in game) went from Responsible -> Lonesome -> Righteous- and it makes a lot of sense for him to have kits, because Sootsnow has 1) always been social, and 2) became a leader as a newly made adult, learned that beasts run around the lands he owns, and at the time it was only them, Silk, and a little later, Dew— so of course he'd be stressed out of his mind, refusing to go to gatherings and tell the other clans about Takers, because if they turn to blame Chasingclan they could very easily eradicate Chasingclan.

That's scary.

So, the triplets were a direct choice by Sootsnow to expand the clan and grow in power. That's also why Soot raised them as his mother did to him and Silk, because in his mind that creates strong, resilient cats.

They value strength beyond anything, which is why Moth went from being the favourite (some internalised bullshit from Riftjay that the youngest is the strongest and the elder are canon fodder) and when Moth couldn't fight, and chose to become a healer, Valleyfrost was the next best, especially with her abnormal strength.

This is also why Soot disliked Crane from the get go, she was the weaker link, the canon fodder for her siblings. Which is absolutely wild considering that Cranedance is the ONLY cat that has been in a fight with another cat, scarred another cat, and has killed another cat. She is consistently the only cat that never backs down from a dangerous situation. But because Sootsnow has already written her off he doesn't know anything about her or his kits.

Now— the four new kits, where born during Lonesome personality, the ones he had with Quiver, was an actual attempt on a family. If he couldn't have convinced Quiver to join the clan Soot would have left to be a loner with her. She just went missing before that could happen.

They're now Righteous and I choose to believe it's they fully think they're doing only the right thing. Sootsnow has to believe he's only done the right thing ever, otherwise he's strained so many relationships for nothing.

So basically: Sootsnow is a very complicated guy, and shouldn't be in a leadership position, and is very much crumbling under the pressure. And, in turn, is ruining his own relationships trying to feel in control.

[lenaboskow]

Listen, Buck loved his family—he really did. Twenty-year-old Buck, traveling across the country and never having a place to truly call home, longed for what he had now. It still didn’t take away from the fact that they were terrible, and he hoped they got what they deserved.

What did they do? Well.

--

or, the 118 is a meddling family, but somehow it still works out

written for 911 countdown to christmas 2024 day one: mistletoe

i can't believe it's december already omfg

i haven't said anything until now because i wanted to make sure i was actually going to have time to get ahead in writing the fics but i'm doing @911countdowntochristmas this year! i'm doing the 24 day version and most are smaller one shots, but there's the au (my personal favorite for no reason other than it's different and i haven't seen it done yet (unless someone had the same idea as me in which case it's still my favorite)) and the last one that are longer. it's helped me get out of my writer's block so i think it was worth it...

unless stated otherwise, these all operate in a limbo between s6 and s7 but also tommy and marisol and natalia don't exist. so no angst (imagine) just vibes.

as for other fics i have going on:

i'm halfway done with writing the next chapter of presumed dead (it's the custody case... should be interesting :) ) and the burn the loft fic is kicking my ass (probably the cause of my writer's block lmao) but it's coming along slowly and is also about halfway done.

addie's bday fic will start getting posted on her bday on the 28th (it's six chapters) and i'm particularly excited for this one because it's either the smartest or the stupidest thing i've ever done. louis' bday fic is almost done being posted we just have a few (three more) more chapters to go, and the next one will be posted tomorrow as usual.

of course i have smaller wips that sometimes get finished randomly but none of them are my priority right now so...

enjoy the first countdown fic :)

[eliotlime]

November update post thing

Drawing of me watching short-form video content without sound vs one where I am lol

If you use short-form video platforms of any kind and would like to help me with my survey you can do so here! Though I'll probably be closing it sometime next week (2nd November 2024 ish) to collate the data for submission.

I've got a metric tonne of deadlines due next week but you know what it's blog update time!!

This is also not going to be scheduled to post because I usually write these on the 29th but I forgot! So it's getting posted now!!

💀 School..

Yeap as I've said I'm in school so that's still in progress, I have completely no idea what I'm doing everyday and as it turns out no time to worry about it either I got deadlines baby!!!

I mean in theory I understand but it's all a big question mark to me, like i need to be reassured like a nervous dog that I'm doing the right thing and what not

And because of that I'm real sorry about pushing the Abacelsus zine to the back burner, I actually got quite a lot of it done before I had to lock in for school of course.

And though I said I had a lot of sketches I didn't post well they were shittier than I liked them to be so I wanted to make it look nicer. Oh well dems the breaks.

Another screenie of my school work, they didn't really go into depth about how to specifically design stuff so it's basically me frankenstien-ing stuff I've seen existing and just trying my best lol

I mean.. overall it's funnnn... i guess... I do like projects but everyone in my class are adults with established jobs or goals. Even those who are around my age seem to know what they're aiming for too, feels like I'm an unemployed little sucker fumbling in the dark. Can be humiliating I won't lie, why is learning something new so embarrassing?

Aside from that I'm seeing people be so social online while studying too and it's almost mesmerizing, it's definitely survivor bias but those that can balance it are fascinating to me.

📖Anthology Update

Agh enough of that debbie downer bullshit, I'll tell you what I've also got due next week! That's right!! The drafts for my anthology!

Screenie of one of the panels I posted onto my ko-fi discord!

I'm not even half way done and it's due on the 6th of December. I'm beyond FUCKED. Anyway I can get it done by then but the school shit is sucking the life out of me through my ears.

☕ Ko-Fi Page

Deadlines aside I've also randomly launched my Ko-fi Membership page! I haven't quite had the time to properly promote it but it's there and I've been updating it every so often

I've got stuff up there already and comics of things that aren't polished (or sfw) enough for me to post. Especially if you're interested in my characters and would like to support me, here's a good hub to check all of it out!

The Ko-fi Discord updates the most frequently, basically every time I draw anything (Which is quite often!). The actual ko-fi gallery is only being updated every week to prevent spam.

Shout out to my one ko-fi member, wormfriend. Right now it's quite funny to have just the one but I definitely would like more so plz join!!! I promise I draw a lot!!!

🌯 Wrapping it up...

That's all I've got for you this month, real grind-y and uneventful but hey some moths are like that. I talked about opening my commissions again in December and I intend to keep that promise but as of yet the first week is not looking too hot haha. I'll consider it on the 7th but whuff it's real packed right now!

I don't have really anything else to say or add that isn't either

a) incredibly negative and self deprecating

or

b) cussing the shit out of disrespectful transphobic anonymous asks I've been getting

so I'm just going to end this hastily written blog update here and get back to work!

I leave you with this cool down drawing of a honda civic and my attempts at a motorcycle that can also hover in the air.

As always thank you so much for reading and I've been so busy I haven't even had time to work on my annual redraw that's been sitting in my folders gah! If you’d like to support me, here’s my ko-fi page again and my itchi.io & gumroad as well.

If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be sent towards my email as well: eliotlime@gmail.com

XOXO, Stay weird!

-Eliot :)

[fleurvi]

Strap Worship | Mikasa Ackerman

genre: smut (mdni)

pairing: mikasa ackerman x fem!reader

cw: sub!mikasa, strap-on sex, strap-sucking, deepthroating, reader refers to the strap as their cock once.

wc: 700+

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There's something addictive about having a woman as powerful as Mikasa Ackerman on her knees in front of you. At first, she let you take charge in the bedroom because you were more experienced, but over time, she learned that she likes giving up control to you. She has to be precise to a worrying degree everywhere else in her life, and it's freeing to relax a little bit and let someone else take care of her. Sometimes, Mikasa wants to please you; you always take care of her, and she wants to help you now.

She knees in front of you, completely naked, helping fasten your strap-on harness. When she's done she places open-mouthed kisses on your hip until you thread your fingers through her short hair and tug her away.

“You wanna help me out, pretty girl? You wanna do something for me?” you ask, holding her head in place near the tip of your strap, which you tap against her lips when she mutters out a ‘yes.’ The verbal response makes you smile; she was too shy to do anything other than nod the first time you had sex, and you had to prompt the words out of her. “How about you get this cock nice and slick so I can fuck you?”

You lose your grip but don't pull your fingers free as she leans forward and wraps her lips around the tip. Some people may be confused as to why you would ask her to do something when you can't physically feel it. The answer is simply that it looks fucking hot. The obvious power dynamic at play sends chills down your spine, and the visual of Mikasa wrapping her pretty pink lips around your strap is enough to have you moaning out loud. Mikasa isn't faring much better, whimpering around your cock as she takes it further and further into her mouth.

“Yeah, just like that, you look so fucking good down on your knees for me,” you say, encouraging her as she begins to bob her head. She's enthusiastic as she sucks, drool pools at the corners of her mouth. She makes it sloppy for you, a perfect picture to get you off to. If she stayed down there for long enough, you may be able to cum just from watching her. The noises she makes are sinful, gagging slightly as the tip hits the back of her throat. She braces one hand on your thigh and reaches the other up to interlock it with your hand that isn't still in her hair. She takes the strap all the way to the base, keeping eye contact with you. “Atta girl,” you praise, holding her in place until she pushes off of you.

Your breath hitches in your throat as Mikasa tilts her head up, and you get a good look at her. Her eyes look desperate and hazy, and her mouth hangs open, panting for air. There's a line of saliva connecting her lips to the toy, joined by drool settling over her bottom lip. Her hair is messed up, clenched tightly in your fist. She looks completely ruined, and you haven't even touched her pussy yet.

“Fuck my face,” she begs, voice hoarse. “Please, I need it.”

You listen, holding her head in place as you slip your cock back between her lips. You start your thrusts gently, careful not to hurt her, but she grabs hold of your thigh and whines for you to go faster. You keep at your current pace, making a gradual increase in roughness. The filthy gagging noises and moans that force their way past the toy when you rock your hips into her waiting mouth are like fuel to you, driving your cock to the back of her throat.

The strap is soaked, and her pretty pussy is dripping for you. You pull your strap-on out of her mouth, grinning at the way her mouth stays open. You lean down, looking her in the eyes as you spit into her open mouth. She swallows like a good girl as she awaits her next instructions.

“Get on the bed, hands and knees. I'm gonna fuck this pussy so good”

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thanks for reading!!

timeskip mikasa with her short hair is soooo fine like I picture her as a mask in my head bc I think she'd dress masc too and oooooh masc mikasa is so hot 🤤💦