#........................ and charlie chaplin i guess

[partyrockin]

........... if you know you know

[velvet4510]

Please reblog for a bigger sample size. :)

[ratzmatazz]

I think I got possessed by charlie chaplin and the only way I can tell this story is by greentext I hope you all understand

>be me (20 year old fool) >live in nyc >walking around and realize I haven’t eaten and also need to do some work so I decide to go to a cafe >walk around for like 30 minutes until I finally find one, looks great very peaceful plenty of people working >walk inside order bagel the guy behind the counter is french(???) and he talks slowly but my brain is on autopilot so I look like an asshole who talks too fast because nyc cafes are usually a quick-time event and I'm disrupting the cafe zen I guess >panic order first bagel I see to redeem myself >ice coffee and loaded bagel (whatever that is) is 20 dollars altogether >whatever the place looks nice for work >barista gives me a number stand for my bagel and I walk away and stand in the main space before realizing I need to still get my coffee? Come back looking even more like an asshole >coffee is in incredibly inconvenient glass cup and filled to the brim too >sugar station is right next to barista so he watches me now pour an obscene amount of sugar syrup but very very slowly >sugar syrup pourer is mildly broken and every time I try to get it to flow faster than "pouring cold tar" it squirts a pump onto the table >sit down >realize I’m sitting in their fucking decorative ~aesthetic~ chair and not a real fucking table >spend 2 minutes slowly dragging a table closer before realizing I look insane and moving all my stuff >still sitting in decorative chair during all of this >guy talking to his friend nearby is watching me and trying not to laugh at me out loud >preparing myself for putting the table back and admitting defeat >do not take coffee off of table >stand up for this but the table is lighter than expected and I tilt the table when I try to scoot it back >coffee leans slowly and cartoonishly close to falling over but I quickly scoot the table over and put it down before it can fully tip and ruin me forever >do this routine of up and down table 3 fucking times moving it back >sit down in shame at real table >guy talking to his friend subtly angles himself to be watching me over his friend's shoulder >take out laptop to work and it’s out of power >no biggie I’ll plug it in I even sat next to four power outlets :) >try first one >no good >try next one >all four outlets don’t work. >want to leave but still have bagel so maybe life is good >bagel arrives >no fucking cream cheese on my bagel. >lady who brings out my bagel is an elderly old-school nyc lady who looks at me with barely hidden disgust for my unknowing bagel monstrosity of 99% spring mix, warm cucumber slices, three pieces of bacon, and a fried egg >bagel is too tall for the second bagel piece to go on top of the bagel >trash can is right next to barista so they’ll see me throw out the untouched shameful top of the bagel too >table is also too small for the bagel plate and my laptop and too cramped for me to easily put it away >eat with laptop on lap (top) (haha) >bite bagel >runny yolk >egg bursts >YOLK ALL OVER LAPTOP. >guy still watching me >tiny courtesy napkin to wipe up my egg shame. >humiliating smooth jazz is playing during all of this. >charlie chaplin's ghost finally releases me from my torment.

[psipies]

Y'all ever wandered exactly what music would Alastor listen to?

Well do I have a treat for you!

tl;dr I've made a biblically historically accurate playlist with jazz from 1920 - 1933. Enjoy!

As an old jazz enjoyer, baby swing dancer, hazbin hotel fandom inhabitant and an adhd owner, recently I developed a raging hiperfixation with history of jazz.

So of course I was into the idea of finding a playlist which have recordings from the ✨period✨

You know, stuff that Alastor could actually air in his radio show. Albeit most playlists I found, between music from 1920, have also electro swing and more contemporary music, as well as songs from the show.

So I've made one myself.

Without further ado, here is how madness looks like:

I highly recommend to listen to the playlist on shuffle, since I added the tracks by artist. So it's more fun to have it a bit mixed 🙃🔀

Based on what I could find, Alastor died in his thirties. Most resources state that it was his early thirties. His year of death is 1933 (after fandom wiki). For this project I made an assumption that he lived between 1900 - 1933 and worked in the radio his whole adult life. So on the playlist you'll find the music recorded in years 1920 - 1933.

Vivzie pointed out that Alastor liked Cab Calloway, Charlie Chaplin's "Smile" and his favorite song would be "You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile" from the "Annie" musical. Especially that the latter was an inspiration for his character. BUT.

"Annie" musical premiered in 1977, so songs from that work are too modern for the playlist. Although Alastor could enjoy the "Little Orphan Annie", a 1930/31 radio drama show. As far as I'm concerned, it only had a theme song, which unfortunately I can't find on Spotify.

Charlie Chaplin's "Smile" premiered in 1936, but I decided to include it. Let's pretend that the year of death is contractual in this case 😏

Unfortunately most of the jazz standards from 1920 was first recorded after 1940, so I guess they couldn't got into 20s/30s radio. But maybe I should chill a bit on the radio part and include stuff that Alastor could enjoy live, hanging out with Mimzy at some local speakeasies? Whaddya say?

I hope you'll appreciate my exquisite sense of humor, since I was able to choose some tracks basing on the sheer hilarity of how their titles suits our Bambi 🤡 Can you spot them?

I'm not an expert, just a crazy person with too much time on her hands. So if you spot some inaccuracies gimme a shout 👀

I'll be expanding the playlist, because why the hell not?

Phew! Wasn't that a hell of a rabbithole dive? I hope that I was able to introduce you to some fun, new (...old?) music that you'll love 🎩

Personally I grew to love Duke Ellington and Cab Calloway. How 'bout you? Any favorites?

[noneorother]

Season 2 is the tales of Crowley Hoffmann, *part 2*

I guess this has to be a series now too. Part 1 l Part 2

I'm doing a series on the (frankly) astounding amount of parallels between the Powell & Pressburger movie The Tales of Hoffmann and S2 of Good Omens. I really recommend part 1 first. 7. Green is evil So if you've wondered to yourself why Hell has changed so much, colour-wise in S2 vs S1, I have come with answers! Here's a fun comparison between the two hells :

Now let's looks at the the evil admin exchange in the Tales off Hoffmann :

(The Tales of Hoffmann, Lindorf takes the contract in The Automaton Ball)

Whenever something evil happens in "The automaton ball" sequence, the light changes to this sickly green. Colour is THE important symbolism in Hoffmann, so now we know green is evil. 8. All the main characters are present and accounted for I've already covered in part 1 how Crowley is Hoffmann, Aziraphale is Stella, and alluded to the fact that Lindorf (main bad guy) is the Metatron. Here's a more comprehensive list of all the characters, because they're all there. N.B. The same actors play multiple roles in The Tales of Hoffmann. Gabriel is Schlemil/Spalanzani/Franz Léonide Massine actually plays 3 characters in the movie : Franz, a housekeeper who sings the only funny song in the opera:

He also plays Spalanzani in Venice : A high ranking double agent who's been crossed by the bad guy Lindorf before, and who is currently hanging around Stella in Venice. He also plays Schlemil in The Automaton Ball, who helped make Stella the automaton and helps put on the ball. He strikes a deal with Lindorf to sell Stella.

Muriel is the assistant Andreas

Andreas doesn't have much of a role in the story, they are mostly worry free and eager to please. They are there to be bribed by Lindorf to give him the key to Stella's dressing room, and the note for Hoffmann. I say they because even though this role is played by a man, this getup is EXTREMELY ambiguous for 1950s England.

Now look at the last scene of both the movie and S2 of good omens.

Shax is Nicklaus

In both casting and character, Shax is obviously Nicklaus. The all red outfit is a dead giveaway, but even the haircut in hell is similar. Nicklaus is Hoffmann's buddy, but they don't actually move the story forward or help him much. The fact that they're everywhere in the story but not really DOING much except casting doubt is pretty telling.

Beelzebub is the muse

Now we get into characters where's it's kind of important know know both the opera and the movie. The only character we seem to be missing in the movie version is Beez, but don't worry, I've got another male character now usually played by a woman dressed in Charlie Chaplin drag and their name is "The Muse". Basically, the muse in the opera is there to make sure Hoffmann does his job (being a poet) and isn't interested in the girl anymore (Stella).

Jacques Offenbach: The Tales of Hoffmann, The Muse & Lindorf, S2E6 Beelzebub

The Metatron is Lindorf

Lindorf is a major bad guy in both, but movie Lindorf has had all of his lines removed at the beginning, so he's the bad guy in the sense that he's doing all these bad things, and is the antagonist in every minisode and in real life. But we never really find out why. His evil genius speech is cut out of the movie, but is very much there in the opera. He's a shapeshifter, and takes on the form of 4 characters in the movie, all of whom hurt Hoffmann by ultimately taking Stella away from him.

Here's Lindorf spying on Hoffmann in the prologue. And the reveal at the end when he comes to take Stella to "the temple of the gods"...

Here are his other three forms in the minisodes. By the way his name in the last one, I shit you not, is DR.MIRACLE. In each minisode he plays a pivotal role in removing Stella from Hoffmann, first by legal contract, second by convincing Stella to double-cross him for a shiny reward, and third by trapping Stella in a time loop and then straight up killing her and sending her to heaven (she gets resurrected no worries).

So my question for now is : Does the plot of season 2 ALSO follow the movie?

_____________________________________

Obviously, there's always more. Next post it's analysis time baby....

[changingplumbob]

Phoebus: Gillian can you ask Pockets to not eat the pie

Gillian: But why shouldn't he eat pie

Miranda: Because we want to eat it

Glenn: Um, what were you doing earlier with a barrier?

Phoebus: Oh it's a pretty basic spell really, similar to the big one on the property. In essence it's a smaller bubble that will keep sound in and stop and spells or potions traveling outside it

Gillian: He worries I'll run in to more potions and throw off his research

Miranda: Finding a cure for you is serious business Gillian

Gillian: Seriously boring

Phoebus: Would you like me to teach you how to make one Glenn?

Glenn: Yes please. I don't really know what I'd use it for but it could be useful

Miranda: I mostly cast them so my music doesn't travel upstairs in the middle of the night

Gillian: I don't mind hearing it

Phoebus: Maybe but sleep is important at your age

Gillian: *sighs* It's boring being my age

Miranda: That your new favourite word is it

Phoebus got up and motioned for Glenn to do the same.

Phoebus: The important thing is to picture the bubble small first. Specifically focus on what you want to be able to go in and what you want to be able to go out

Glenn listened as Phoebus explained the various things to consider. Sound, light, spells, people. Then he showed how to throw the bubble up and out.

Glenn: Is it okay for me to use a wand

Phoebus: If you find it helps you focus, of course

Glenn gave it a shot. He hadn't done much magic that wasn't nature based, but perhaps it was time to learn. Eventually he was able to cast a bubble that kept sound in or out, but he'd need to practice more before he'd be capable of stopping much else with it.

Phoebus: That's good progress Glenn

Glenn: *smiles* Thanks

Phoebus: Keep working on it though, it's pretty useful to be able to cast a barrier

Glenn went to head home but before he could Phoebus reminded him to check in on some of the other coven members, pointing out their houses through the windows. Glenn did pop home to grab his cardigan before he went to the house that was closest to his own. Trying to grow a thicker skin, he knocked.

Jackson: Come on in unless you're a doofus

Coleman: Or a perv

Jackson: But definitely come in if you're a stripper

Sighing to himself, Glenn opened the door. The twins were relaxing on the couch in front of the TV but sat up when he came in.

Jackson: Oh my gosh is it Glenn?

Coleman: The Glenn?

Jackson: The first loser

Coleman: No man, he could be the second loser because that other one lost to

Glenn: *scoffs* I forgot your names but I guess one of you is Charlie and the other is Chaplin. Or was it Larry and Moe?

The twins stared at him, not getting the joke.

Previous ... Next

[the-solar-system52]

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME.

(screenshot of past theory)

(end screenshot)

WHAT THE SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK.

IM SCREAMING. IM SHAKING.

IM GOING INSANE. IM EXPLODING.

IM ABOUT TO FLATLINE AND DROP DEAD.

I AM A PROPHET. I PROPHECISE.

Okay my insane luck aside, this is EXTREMELY interesting.

It is obviously a reference to the Charlie Chaplin mirror maze from 'The Circus'.

We will also most likely have some Negative shenanigans in this maze. But there's one theory I've been thinking of for awhile that I want to talk about now.

Who owns the House of Lead?

The House of Lead is the House of Paint's equal. Madras used to own Paint House, but then gave it to Hero. Whomever owns the house is able to, subconsciously or consciously, change the houses shape and form with their mind.

When the House was first introduced, I assumed The Butterfly owned the Lead House, since they fled to it after RGB fought them off. But now I'm not so sure. The House did trap them and make the door vanish, but it's clear The Butterfly is hostile and wants to attack them. So if they were able to control the house, why wouldn't they just throw an imaginary weapon at them or something? As of right now, RGB and Hero are just wandering around the house freely. Plus, we haven't seen The Butterfly anywhere in the house yet, and they'd have to be able to see RGB and Hero to manipulate what they interact with.

So, what if, Negative owned the House of Lead?

I've mentioned before how I think the houses are suppose to be metaphors for Negative and RGB, plus they share a similar black and white design.

In this page, the staircase looks a lot like Negative's eye.

This also puts the events of this chapter in new context. We don't know a lot about Negative's personality or motivations, but I'll still do my best to analyse what this means.

I think Negative wants Hero to tell RGB about him.

First, he traps them in the house, which forces them to have downtime to talk. Then, Hero starts explaining about Negative. Then, the aforementioned staircase.

But then, RGB tries to move away from the conversation and move onto something else. The second he does, they appear in the very symbolic mirror maze. Which I'm guessing will force RGB to confront Negative.

Why he want him to know, I dunno, but it does make sense for Negative to be able to see what they are doing, since it's implied he has RGB's memories.

Though, if we think about the theory that The Butterfly created Negative, or is related to him is some other way, then these parallels would still make sense if The Butterfly was the owner.

Its hard to say when we know so little about both characters goals and motivations, but if I had to take a guess now, I'd say Negative owns the house, but we'll have to see.

ANYWAY AAAHAHAHHSKSPAKAMAKAAOSKKSSJ IM SO EXCITED OH MY GOD AOSKSSSPPAPAK

[vetch-is-trying-to-draw]

undertale fanart in 2024 I guess

please ignore the charlie chaplin

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

Have you watched The Further Adventures of Walt's Frozen Head?

Hardy har har*major sarcasm* about this old tin hat theory yall do know he was cremated and a memorial was built at the Forest Lawn cemetery, tbh its rude and disrespectful towards the Disney family for everybody to keep this old absolutely not correct idea about Walt's body going,

You wouldn't do this to Norma Jean AKA Marilyn Monroe you wouldn't do this to the Black Dahlia you wouldn't do this to Charlie Chaplin Audrey Hepburn the list could carry on of celebrities

So why is Walt the one that people decide to create such a disrespectful rumor about? Don't get me wrong I'm all for fun and games but not when it's disrespecting the Dead.

I'm pagan irl and we don't mess around with that crap it's like spitting on our ancestors for us

Also btw due to heavy genealogical research and accidental discovery I found I'm 8th Cousins with the Disneys we share a common ancestor, guess entertainment runs in multiple branches of the family as mine was also in the entertainment industry for 3 generations, 3x Great Grandfather was in a Band, 2x Great aunt and Uncle were headliners out here in the midwest, my other 2x Great Uncle was in Vaudeville, my Great Grandma gave up her dream of being an actress to settle down, I'm a 4th gen entertainer artist and writer, so yeah I'm even more respectful as a result.

[disneyanddisneyships]

@gyubby99 fun facts about alastor and angel from their wiki pages (mostly alastor)

Angie can cook Apparently. I headcanon he makes one hell of a bowl og spaghetti. (Will cry if u break the noodles in half and then will scream at u in Italian)

........ re-..... retractable-.... (kinky)

Alastor has a LAST NAME.

"Lilian Hartfelt" is the most beautiful married name I've ever heard and I'm here for it.

.......... Kinky-

I'm just imagining Aponi finding a demon dog (similar to fat nuggets I guess) and wanting to keep it only for alastor to perch on the chandelier hissing at it until it's gone.

So Al has his own hotel room as well as two houses.

He.....

He likes Charlie Chaplin

This is a lie.

He may not be good with kids but there ain't no way this man wouldn't save a child from an abusive father

HA

Virgin

[knickynoo]

Back to the Future: The Animated Series, s01ep11 "Gone Fishin'" Review and Commentary

Previous episodes linked HERE

In this episode: Marty, Jules, and Verne try to undo one of Doc's deep-seated childhood traumas, only to end up sending his life wildly off course.

I shall preface this by letting anyone reading know that Tumblr has been messing up my gifsets and pictures in my previous posts. Gifs and pics that should be side by side end up enlarged and stacked vertically when viewed on the dashboard through a desktop. I've been unable to figure out how to fix it and have no clue why it's doing this to me. It is a source of great frustration and makes me not want to do these reviews anymore. But I'm trudging along. Just wanted to let people know in case it looked wonky. It's not on purpose!

Alrighty, let's dive in.

Okay, so this episode has my favorite live-action opening segment in the series thus far. We begin with black-and-white footage of Doc, accompanied by him doing a voice-over where he explains that he was visiting the 1920s. As he's doing the voice-over, the Doc on screen is just waving at the camera the entire time, and it is delightful. He becomes increasingly frantic as the waving goes on.

Doc goes on to explain that he'd been in the 1920s to meet Thomas Edison and get him to autograph a very large lightbulb, which we then see as we return to the "present day." Doc immediately drops and shatters it as he's showing it to us.

Quickly moving on from the tragedy (he says he'll make a return trip to get extra bulbs autographed) Doc goes on to talk about the '20s—silent films in particular.

"I'm sure you've all heard of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton," he says, "but only the real film historians among you recall Daredevil Brown. Talk about a Hollywood success story."

Hmm...well, that's an intriguing little piece of info, isn't it? Who is this Daredevil Brown?? Doc leads us into the cartoon to hear the full story. "It all began with a fishing trip," he tells us with a haunted expression.

We shall find out the reason for this expression shortly. Into the cartoon, we go!

While working in his lab, Doc is approached by Verne, who hands him a flyer for the upcoming "Father and Son Big Mouth Bass Off." It's apparently an annual Hill Valley event, and Verne really wants to go with his dad. Doc, however, reacts with immediate terror, crumples up the flyer, and quite literally begins convulsing as he tries to tell his son that he can't go. He then stumbles into the living room and collapses on the couch, still in an agitated state.

Jules decides to show Doc his new invention—a helmet that allows you to watch TV without disturbing others in the room with the images/sounds, and Doc figures trying it will be a good way to get his mind off of the terror he just experienced. Unfortunately, it's a rerun of The Andy Griffith Show, which, if you're familiar with it, has an opening sequence of the main character going fishing with his son. Doc rips off the device and runs straight into the wall.

I don't know about all of you, but I think Doc might have experienced some fishing-related trauma?? I mean. Just a guess.

Also, I would like to point out that throughout much of these opening scenes, Doc's eyes randomly turn blue, which is the second instance I've noticed of a character's eye color changing mid-scene (the first was in Swing Low, Sweet Chariot Race). And I'd really like to know why this was happening. Whoever was in charge of character eye color, you dropped the ball here. You probably didn't think anyone would be scrutinizing this series closely enough to notice 30+ years later, but you were wrong.

Getting back on track here, Jules and Verne sneak into their parents' bedroom that night with a plan to figure out what's going on with their father. Jules has invented a device consisting of an in-ear piece connected to a screen that allows someone to view the wearer's thoughts. Y'all, Jules is 10-years-old, and he's incomprehensibly brilliant. He just whipped up an invention to see a person's thoughts. This is something that can be put to horrible use if it falls into the wrong hands.

As they use the device, miniature versions of Jules and Verne appear on the screen and "travel" through Doc's brain. They pass a "brainstorm," a long pathway containing his "library of knowledge," and then come to a huge wall.

Whoever was in charge of spelling, you dropped the ball here, too. Admittance is spelled incorrectly.

I sincerely am curious as to how these mistakes slipped by and made it into the completed versions of the episodes. In a way, though, it kind of adds to the fun.

Jules gets a readout on the screen that says: "Memory block, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, August 5, 1926." With this information, the boys now know that something significant enough happened to their dad on this date that a gigantic wall was erected in his brain to block the whole thing out. The mini versions of Jules and Verne on the screen get out pickaxes and chip away at the block until they break through and can see the memory.

In a show so centered around time travel, I must remind myself to suspend my disbelief in these absolutely absurd and impossible moments.

Anyway, Jules and Verne access the hidden away memory and see their four-year-old father fishing. As he casts his line, he falls into the water, nearly drowns, and is terrorized by various sea creatures.

Nobody is around to run to his aid as he splashes around and calls for help. Jules and Verne feel it's their duty to travel back to that date and stop Doc from having this terrible, scarring experience.

As they sneak the DeLorean out of the garage, they're caught by Marty, who has decided it is of the utmost importance that he make a visit to Doc's house at 11:30 at night to get his hoverboard. Jules explains their plan, to which Marty replies, "Milwaukee? That must have been when Doc stayed with his oddball Uncle Oliver." And I must say that I like that Marty knows this little bit of Doc Brown trivia and that Doc has obviously told Marty at least this one story about his childhood.

Marty agrees to not tattle on the boys if they let him tag along? He tells them he wants to travel to a time when he'll be smarter than Doc. Off they go to 1926.

"How much can a little kid know?" Marty asks as they approach Little Doc, whom I will just refer to as Emmett from here on out. Everybody look at him, please.

As Marty immediately discovers, he is not smarter than this four-year-old version of his friend. After jokingly asking Emmett what he knows, Emmett replies, "Several languages, the Periodic Table, the constellations of the Northern Hemisphere, and the Encyclopedia from 'A' to 'Grrr.'" (He hasn't made his way through the FULL encyclopedia yet, evidently.)

While I know that this cartoon can hardly be considered canon to the world set up in the trilogy, I love that Emmett can speak multiple languages and wouldn't mind at all incorporating that into my general Doc Brown headcanons. I just wish he'd mentioned which ones he spoke. German is likely one, but I'm not sure about the others.

Emmett tells his new friends that he's waiting for his Uncle Oliver to take him fishing "like he promised" and then directs their gazes up to where Uncle Oliver is—wayyy up in the air—attempting to break the record for flagpole-sitting.

We quickly learn that Uncle Oliver is obsessed with trying to set records, perform wild acts, and become famous. Marty tries to persuade him to take his nephew fishing, but Uncle Oliver isn't that interested in Emmett—a trait that seems to be common amongst the Brown men. I am looking at you, Erhardt! >:(

Marty, Jules, and Verne opt to just take Emmett themselves, and Jules is able to get his future father to stand in a spot where he won't fall into the water. Instead, Marty falls in, lol.

While teaching him how to properly cast, Emmett ends up getting his line hooked to the underside of a small biplane and carried away.

The plane is part of a nearby stunt show, and Emmett gets taken along for the ride as it does loops and tricks in the air. Everyone watching from the stands is impressed by this young performer, and he quickly wins lots of adoring fans. When he's approached by a camera man who asks if he wants to be a star, Uncle Oliver's eyes turn into dollar signs, and he jumps at the chance to be Emmett's manager.

"All I wanted was to go fishing," Emmett points out. Too bad, buddy, you're about to be exploited by your uncle for fame and fortune. Uncle Oliver signs a contract with a famous producer who says he'll make Emmett a star. Marty and Verne are psyched by this development, but Jules (the only one with a brain) points out that they've seriously altered their father's life. The boys decide they have to monitor the situation closely.

From there, we go to Hollywood, where Emmett is quickly thrust into stardom. We see a clip of a silent film he's in, which includes a scene of him dangling from a very high clocktower by his suspenders, falling and bouncing around on a building's awnings, and landing in a fountain. He's dubbed "Daredevil Emmett" and quickly garners many fans.

Little Emmett's amazing feats capture the entire country, and he's soon got his own line of comics, a drink named after him, and multiple other products. He's on the radio, in the newspapers, and is being talked about all over.

Emmett is less than enthusiastic about the whole ordeal, but Uncle Oliver doesn't see any issue with it. He's loving living vicariously through his nephew and brushes off Marty's concern that all this daredevil stuff isn't good for Emmett. We then see the very lavish life that Emmett and Uncle Oliver are living.

...how long have Marty and the boys been in the '20s for all of this to be happening?? I mean, this all started with taking Emmett fishing, and now they're living in Hollywood; Emmett has become a movie star, has a line of products named after him, and has moved into a massive mansion with his uncle. Have they been in 1926 for months?

While Marty, Jules, and Verne are having fun in the pool, Emmett asks if he can swim with them, to which Uncle Oliver says no. He doesn't want to risk Emmett getting hurt, which would hurt his career. Emmett storms off angrily. Marty once again voices his concern for Emmett's well-being. This time, Oliver almost listens, but then he receives a phone call with an offer for Emmett to go over a waterfall while he's inside a barrel, and Oliver can't turn it down.

On the day of the stunt, Marty and the boys discover that the man behind the idea is D. W. Tannen. When Emmett expresses concern about the safety of everything, D. W. assures him he won't actually be going over the falls; a dummy will be in the barrel, and people will just think it's Emmett. Except, surprise! D. W. is lying, and he has no intention of switching a dummy into the barrel. He wants this to be real, and that means sending a four-year-old child over the edge of a waterfall. Nice guy.

Thankfully, Marty, Jules, and Verne, overhear D. W. talking, and Jules forms a plan to save his father. Marty's evidently a key part of the plan, and he and Jules have this exchange, which makes me laugh.

Jules's plan is to have Marty serve as a tightrope walker in the opening act—complete with gum stuck to the bottom of his shoes to keep him from slipping. While the crowd is distracted by Marty, Jules will stick a mini, spare flux capacitor to the barrel (which will have Verne in it, not Emmett) and transport the barrel someplace else.

Oliver, who is not in on the plan, actually gets a chance to redeem himself as he sees the barrel start to go toward the waterfall. Thinking his nephew is actually inside, he dives into the water to try to save him, finally coming to his senses about how money-hungry he'd become. Marty pulls Oliver out of the water, the barrel goes over the falls, and it's transported out of harm's way via the flux capacitor.. Back on the dock, Oliver and Emmett are reunited, and Oliver takes his nephew fishing.

With everything set back to normal, the boys return home, where they discover that Doc is now eager to join the father-and-son fishing tournament. The end!

Back in Real Doc's lab, he teaches us about gravity.

He also ends up dropping that bowling ball on his foot.

And that's the end of the episode. This one is a lot of fun, and I LOVED seeing the young version of Doc. He's adorable. I'm glad Uncle Oliver saw the error of his ways, but it took thinking his nephew was about to die going over a waterfall to change him. I wonder if Doc has any male family members who weren't terrible??

Anyway, good episode. Join me next time to watch Doc spiral into an existential crisis after thinking he's used up all his brainpower.

[dingodad]

do homestuck fans still care about calamity jane from the skaianet thing that got cancelled because it was accidentally pretty antisemetic or whatever. like is that still "canon"

there are obvious references to it in the epilogues so the parts about obama are "canon" i guess. what's really gonna make it "canon" is if it gets referenced in more published work but the way it was presented it seemed more like a list of hussie's headcanons than an actual roadmap for future spinoffs and with the brand being so far removed from rigidly sticking to hussie's vision at this point i doubt there are creatives on the team who are like, champing at the bit to include more references to charlie chaplin or whatever. that being said if one thing from the arg does come back up it's gonna be calamity

[tipsygnostalgy]

On Grandpa/Jake Harley

you know shits about to be long as fuck when i add the keep reading line like four lines in lol

anyway anon all this is 4 u!! feel free to talk ab this by just tagging instead of rb i dont want 2k words to be posted over n over again

Grandpa Harley being some kind of pseudo-omnipotent deity figure who somehow figures out/guesses (my money's on guesses) extremely intricate details about the game and does everything he can to make things go right is something that we don't talk about enough. It's one of the only plans in Homestuck made that are orchestrated entirely by one person then ends up going right. It's that pattern of hoping that the cards fall into place in the right way (unless we're taking the Grandpa is practically God perspective, which is interesting in its own right)—but notably, he makes a lot of preparations beforehand. He's so... active. It fascinates me. I'll have to talk about this on the Jake English as Jesus Christ trope post (it's coming, I swear, brainrot's a bitch) but the sheer amount of things he does is astounding. But, lo and behold, he wasn't always like this. Cue: the Skaianet Systems Incorporated texts.

Quick note about all that. A very large portion of the things Hussie wrote for SSI is 1) dubiously canon, and 2) a bunch of anti-semitic bullshit that he probably never should have fucking released to the public, at least not like that. Like, holy shit, keep that and your weird comments about sexual slavery in your Notes app dude, we don't need to hear it. For this reason I suggest reading the actual material with extreme caution. Cool? Cool. On with it. Here's a lil' review of Jake Harley before the session.

Funny enough, Jake had always been kind of pathetic in the Beta session as well.

So Skaianet was actually established by HIC as a front for laundering technology from Alternia and Sburbian ruins. The key of SN was not to actually develop tech, but make it look like it so that people will believe you when your company just re-defined gravity for the hundredth time. Jake has to play the "famous genius shtick," but he doesn't do so well. When he fully inherits SN at 21 he runs it hands-on, and "believes" his success is due to hard work and diligence. He also "believes SN is now a considerably more distinct entity from Crocker Corp, and his leadership of the company is a result of his hard work and competence. Neither is true." He's manipulated by his at-the-time boyfriend (Charlie Chaplin, somehow) into letting a rebel force into the Crocker manor, though the effort is ultimately thwarted by HIC.

He also has a disastrous love life. His relationship at sixteen with Chaplin consists of Chaplin finding him "obnoxious and thoughtless" though he "can't seem to quit him," and Jake ultimately "[toys] with his heart, and [abandons] him." This later (much later, think decades) manifests into something way worse when Chaplin appears in an outing Jake has with one of his families (he's had many, though not at once) and tries to kill Jake for not just his involvement with SN/HIC, but for breaking his heart as well. Notably, in this scene, upon having a gun aimed at him Jake reflexively hides behind his wife, who ends up being shot in his stead. He's out-strifed so badly that he'd have died in the jungle (oh yeah he takes his wife and 5yo son to a jungle btw) if Chaplin didn't have a divine intervention moment afterwards.

At 32 he also abandons his post at SN for fucking around Europe. "[H]e's out exploring and adventuring, completely oblivious to whatever's going on in Europe. He hops from site to site, looking for Sburbian ruins to plunder." One, the "whatever's going on" is WW2, again, somehow. Two, he has a daughter there that he "takes custody of, apprentices as an adventurer, and takes all over the place on his adventures." When he takes her to Hawaii she ditches him because she's sick of her "douchebag dad." And there's that Jude family too, obviously.

Oh, and all the Beta guardians are also meteor babies. It's how Jake ends up finding Dirk and Roxy to begin with—he sets them up with trust funds in Texas and New York so that they can be of use to SN later, though whether he knew their importance in the larger context of SBURB is unclear.

All caught up? Great.

The exact details of how every event goes down aren't as important as the lessons you can draw from it, namely: Jake Harley is an absolute fucking mess of a human being. He continuously creates families—notice how he keeps having children with his wive—then is bereaved of them. A few times he abandons them, a few times they abandon him, and sometimes they get killed by your ex-boyfriend. It's a neat little insight into just how neck-deep these commitment issues lie, but it's also fun to consider that he seeks it so desperately. This man has on record has had:

one wife be shot dead in front of him

a son who was technically kidnapped from him by the man who almost beat him to death (his ex-boyfriend)

a daughter ditch him in the middle of hawaii for being a shitty dad

a daughter (joey claire) be teleported by portal to alternia, who hated jake so much she took her dead mom's last name

said dead mom/wife whom upon her death leaves her children "Semi Orphans" because he just straight up ditches his kids to go work on hellmurder island

probably more

And he still considers himself a grandfather to Jade. TBF, I guess the easier way of explaining it is that it's simply the natural explanation—they are sort of related after all. But considering that he once sired an illegitimate daughter and not only took her into custody but tried to raise her as his liege, I still find it the fact that he tries over and over again to the point of rending the family meaningless interesting. I think it's viable that Jake wanted a family—not one where he and Jane were raised by HIC and poorly—but a real one. His attempt to raise that first daughter to mirror his habits reflects the way HIC raised Beta Jane to mirror her. Yet after relationship after relationship goes horribly wrong, this desire fades into a kind of apathetic unsureness to the point where this is what he says about his last "full" family, the Harley-Claires:

He's been making good headway on his quest for the mysterious island in the pacific. Once everything is taken care of here, he'll leave this family behind and set up shop on that island permanently. That's when the real work begins. The discoveries on that island will finally unite him with the destiny he's been in search of his whole life.

Two things of note. One, his first recorded instance of permanently setting up jackshit anywhere is at first with SkaiaNet then at Hellmurder island. Both locations share that theme of "destiny" in common—notice how he considers SN divorced from Crockercorp because of his efforts and tries to make the place overall less HIC-controlled, but ultimately fails. And sure, he later achieves this kind of destiny by having his Sburb plan go "right" but before this not a single "plan" he established went correctly. Jake in either timeline isn't a guy who regularly makes plans for multiple efforts—they zero in on one goal that appears as part of their calling and makes it happen, damn it. To him, that's a success. Whether he "actually does" is up for interpretation.

See, HIC actually wanted the Beta kids to play the game. She'd been using the Beta session as a "testing" timeline, knowing which events and people to avoid and keep in mind so that she can play everything out exactly the way she wants it to. Part of the reason why Crockertier Jane was so firmly for marrying Jake and having children was because that had been HIC's idea of what Beta Jake's purpose was once he landed on a Meteor (after B!Jane). So he saw the "big picture" in a bigger way than quite literally anyone else, but it still isn't enough, at least not in the way he thought it might be at first.

Prior to his discoveries on the island, Jake has no idea this will result in some kids using the software he's unearthing, which will destroy all life on Earth. Nor does he have any idea that those kids will be using this same software to reboot the universe with different starting conditions, thus ending this "trial run" timeline for HIC, and giving her a fresh start. Exactly as she planned.

This implies there is some moment that Grandpa Harley realized that everything he was doing would end up playing into the HIC's hands anyway. This also implies that he carried out those actions regardless, Hoping that Jade would someday win the game in the process. Are you seeing the parallel for my interpretation of Ult. Jake yet? Fuck.

What was the moment he realized? Did he power through anyway, hoping there was a bright light for Jade at the end of this all?

He's also a hoarder. He keeps items and objects instead of people. He hangs onto the past to the point where he's seemingly unable to let go of it—trophies, guns, artifacts—but throughout the entire Harley Manor there is not a single picture of his families. And that's where his dolls come in—dolls are just human enough but not too human, you can control them however you'd like yet delude yourself they are company. I'm not saying all doll-enjoyers are this way, but the specifics in which Grandpa (and Bro to an extent, for that matter) interacts with his dolls makes me believe he's turning them into pseudo-human entities because at the end of the day he again craves company. But, unlike Jake, Grandpa Harley's had a lifetime of experience reinforcing over and over again that this will never happen with a real person. And fuck, don't even get me started on the taxidermy—it's the very act of taking something, bereaving it of life and subjectivity, then keeping it for yourself. You can see how this has even affected Jade in the sense that she thinks about her taxidermied dead Grandpa (who she taxidermied himself, by the way) like a living, breathing person. And Jadebot? A robotic, perfect replica of his granddaughter, designed to monitor her at all times instead of him? And the parallels that has to Brobot. Ughghgh.

Also, quick digression. You know how Beta Dad & Mom were on the Battlefield? And how Grandpa landed just to recover Jade's dead dream body, then left Dad and Mom behind. Sorry, I'm just not normal about that at all. How did we collectively miss the sheer tragedy of that situation, God, I wonder what Roxy was thinking. Digression over.

All in all, what these files tell me is that the way Jake was written was no way accidental. Yeah he got fucked over in the Alpha session, yeah he's tragic, but he's tragic for a reason that I ultimately appreciate even as I clutch my heart and dramatically fall over from pain. He knows just enough about the meta-reality to cause feelings of absurdity but powers through it; he's supposed to be put in seemingly insurmountable situations and emerge, through one way or the other, victorious. He's supposed to have the strangest relationship known to man regarding other people and, as a result, try to find compromise between the two halves of "complete fuck-all isolation" and "the company of any developed adult human ever." He's goal-oriented only when it presents a clear-cut destiny to him, when he can see the significance of it, and otherwise floats around doing fuck-all in this world. This goal is, most of the time, people: Dirk for LE Jake, and Jade for Harley. It's also fun insight into where Jake could potentially end up going—as this post by Cooper already pointed out, Ult. Dirk's actions mirror Bro's need to micromanage and control everything in his life to the point where he, much alike Bro, secludes himself in an apartment while running his inner machinations unknown to most others. I wouldn't be surprised if Jake ends up in a similar way to Grandpa, giving his all to a dreary situation and maintaining Hope through it with the desire that it'll eventually succeed.

It would also be fun if his Hopes only came true after his death.

Alright, analysis over, everyone clock out. Good work, people. [Vaguely gestures to the reader.]

[noctomania]

I just realized that Bette Davis is my longest standing fascination. I was perhaps about 8 years old when I first read about her. We were all part of a program, I believe it was called "accelerated readers" intended to increase literacy rates. I guess it is still in practice, but I'm unsure. In any case, I was among the earlier cohorts to be partaking in it. And I was terrible.

I never liked reading, and worse, my sister loved reading, which only made me hate it more. I tried to make it easier on myself when I had to read a book by picking something short. So one time I found this nice thin book that happened to be a small biography on Bette Davis. It also happened to be a grade above mine, whereas my reading skills were closer to the grade below. I failed the computer quiz terribly, but Bette has stuck with me ever since.

I remember the book talked about how she had been rejected in Hollywood due to her supposed lack of beauty. More specifically, I recall it talking about someone saying she looked like her face had been melted by acid. Well, as a child who was also enamored by and sympathized with the character of Grizabella in the musical Cats because of how she was rejected by the other cats as a hasbeen beauty, I immediately was on Bette's side. Even at that age, I understood that such a subjective matter shouldn't be the metric for what makes an artist profound or worthy of a role, or the basis on which you determine your respect for someone. I may not have fully understood the complexities of misogyny at the time, but being raised by a single mother of two children, I'm sure I had some foundational understanding of how to respect women properly.

Bette is responsible for drawing my interest into old hollywood films and stars. I started watching TCM at my dad's house when I was in my preteens, seeking out old black and white movies. This introduced me to Ginger Rogers and Katherine Hepburn. I learned about Mary Pickford this way as well in the wee hours of the morning when they would put on less popular silent films. Entirely fascinated me, and I could never understand people who felt they were boring to watch. While Bette was in the world of talkies, her style was from theater, which was what informed silent film actors to begin with. With a lack of thorough dialogue, they had to impress upon the audience through physicality alone. Some of the most well renowned silent actors were absolute professionals at physical comedy - like Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton.

I credit Bette Davis entirely for being a guide to helping me understand and respect the artists in front of the camera. She didn't act dramatically for the sake of being dramatic. She understood the undulations of a moment, taking the scene and ramping it because what else are you doing if not entertaining as an actor?

Though the rejection of Bette drew me to her, it was her no-nonsense attitude and her assertiveness that kept me around. To be so bold as to push back against the system she was trying to break into. Not without sense, though, always moderating herself but never leaving her spine behind. She made herself a queen by doing what those who were too timid to do refused. Even if she lost battles here or there, she won the war in my eyes. She wasn't one to back down because she picked her fights deliberately. She didn't assimilate. She overcame.

There will never be another of her caliber. No, not Streep nor Surrandon. Everything about her is individually iconic on its own, from her style to her acting, her voice, mannerisms. All of it. I could never imagine my life without Bette Davis in the background. I thank her for being the woman she was so I could be the woman I was and the man I am now. What is even funnier is that I'm not sure I even saw any of her movies until I was well into my teen years! I didn't even need to. Her legacy is that powerful.

God, i love Bette Davis. Thank you for existing. I wish you had been given the respect you deserved.

[tcmparty]

Review: Charlie Chaplin vs. America is both shocking and familiar

Watching TCM recently, I saw a clip of Gloria DeHaven reminiscing about visiting Charlie Chaplin at his home when she was quite young. At first, she couldn’t connect the handsome guy who answered the door with the Little Tramp. She concluded, “I guess I had a crush on two different men.” Certainly, this recognition of the dichotomy between Chaplin and his most famous creation resonated with me.…

[happyocelot]

⭐ 30 favourites asks

2 - classic film?

22 - shade of blue?

25 - type of candy?

2 - classic film?

I guess this means pre-1930s? I like Charlie Chaplin.

22 - shade of blue?

Sky and ocean blue.

25 - type of candy?

Chocolate.

Thanks for the questions, @xanthippe-writes 😻